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			<h1 id="section_0">Afghan Anon.</h1><ul id="page-actions" class="hlist"><li id="ca-edit" class="icon icon-32px icon-edit" title="Edit the lead section of this page."></li><li id="ca-talk" class="hidden icon icon-32px icon-talk"><a href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php?title=Talk:Afghan_Anon.&amp;action=edit&amp;redlink=1" title="Discussion about the content page [t]" accesskey="t">Discussion</a></li><li id="ca-watch" class="watch-this-article icon icon-32px"><a href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php?title=Special:UserLogin&amp;returnto=Afghan+Anon." title="Add this page to your watchlist [w]" accesskey="w"></a></li></ul>		</div>
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<td><b>Writefag</b>
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<td> Rogal_Dayne
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<td><b>Pastebin link</b>:
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<td><a rel="nofollow" class="external free" href="http://pastebin.com/BFBG3Y9p">http://pastebin.com/BFBG3Y9p</a>
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<td><b>Pastebin creation</b>
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<td>Sunday 18th of December 2016 12:20:14 AM CDT
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<td><b>Last Pastebin update</b>
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<td>Sunday 18th of December 2016 12:27:36 AM CDT
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</div><h3><span class="mw-headline" id="Afghan_Anon.">Afghan Anon.</span><a href="Afghan_Anon.#/editor/1" title="Edit section: Afghan Anon." data-section="1" class="edit-page icon icon-32px icon-edit enabled">Edit</a></h3><div>
<div dir="ltr" class="mw-geshi mw-code mw-content-ltr"><div class="gettext source-gettext">&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You are &quot;Captain Anonymous.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Plain and simple.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just a lowly Quartermaster officer.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Afghanistan was fun.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sitting in a tent.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Being hot as hell.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Under constant threat of suicide bombers and RPG attacks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Afghanistan was fun.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;At least you had a few buffer battalions between you and the front.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;God you're a despicable human being.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And you&quot;re okay with it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sometimes you wish you had access to Internet so you could shitpost on chan.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Perpetuate yourself as king shitposter.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You get up from your position behind a shitty computer the Army gave you to keep inventory.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Which was up to date, mind you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You didn't get to captain at 26 from faffing about like a wankstain.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;God.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You hate your British immigrant mother.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;AMERICA, YEAH!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Anyway, you step out of the tent and breath in the searing hot air of Assfuck Nowhere, Afghanistan.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You take a moment to roll your sleeves up before going off to fuck with some nearby enlisted.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe you could find the Laundry Specialist. (Yes, I&quot;m dead serious, they have these.)</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wander to the appropriate part of base and look around for the aforementioned personal.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sadly it seems like they're avoiding you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's probably for the best.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You instead choose to wander to the command tent and mess around with the Battalion commander until you had to resume duties.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Lieutenant Colonel Incognito was a great guy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You were actually his cousin.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Which is why you were assigned to this Battalion in the first place.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nepotism is great.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You walk into the tent before you hear possibly one of the worst sounds a man could hear.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Allahu Ackbar!&quot;</span><br />&quot;DEUS VULT!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;That was a reflex shout.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And this is a car.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You hit the car and roll over the window to the otherside.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You were still alive, but fuck, you were in so much pain.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You bring your trembling hand to your M9.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You grunt in pain as you touch your most likely shattered ribcage when reaching for your sidearm.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You draw it and chamber the Round in the magazine, flipping off the safety at the same time.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Bringing it up to shoot at your assailant, you don't even aim as you spot the turban wearing madman level off an old AK to your BC&quot;s face.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fuck.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He was your favorite cousin.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fuck your other ones.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You fire as many round out of the pistol as you can before the inevitable death of you and Nito.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You miss every shot like the retard you are, and end up getting filled with lead instead.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Today was counterproductive.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Though you could cross off:Get killed in an extremely dramatic way.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So not wholly such.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The sudden realization that you are dead hits you like a terrorist in an armoured SUV.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The even more sudden realization that your life, in fact, did not pass before your eyes hit you harder though.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You kind of feel cheated.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wanted to find out why you had a scar just above your dick.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A voice shakes you from your thoughts though.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous of the United States, most notorious action: being a quote-unquote &quot;Master Shitposter.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Where do you want him, sir?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Send him to Horseland.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Wait, fucking what?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're grabbed by both the arms and picked up facing away from your restrainer.</span><br />&quot;Where the fuck am I going!? I was promised MEMEHALLA!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;A hole presents itself to you, just ready to be penetrated.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You are unceremoniously thrown straight down into it.</span><br />&quot;It's like paratrooper training all over again!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;The next thing you feel is hitting the ground at a one hundred eighty degree angle.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You skid across the ground at record breaking speeds.</span><br /><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You are Nightmare Moon, the all powerful conqueror of Equestria.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Currently you are on the moon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You&quot;ve mustered enough power to open a portal back to the place you were banished.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Unfortunately, 999 years of not being able to practice magic makes you a bit rusty the first time you do it again.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You fudged up the spell just a bit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's not like you ejected a null-magic thing from another dimension.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not at all.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You frown as something goes skidding across the surface of the moon and into a nearby crater.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You, in your everlasting grace manage to sputter out something.</span><br />&quot;What in the name of me is that?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You timidly poke your head over the crater to gander at whatever had the extreme unluckiness to get sacked.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A masculine sounding voice reaches your ears as you look at what has fallen into your prison.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;OH MY GOD. THIS FUCKING HURTS. HOLY SHIT.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The sharp gasping coming from the creature seems to pick up as it spots you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;A FUCKING UNICORN!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You snort in indignation.</span><br />&quot;I am no mere Unicorn, creature! Gaze upon my glory!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You spread your wings dramatically.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;HOLY SHIT, A TALKING PEGACORN!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You sigh at the creatures ignorance, and apparent misuse of term.</span><br />&quot;Pegacorn is a term used for the common rabble! Do I look like a mere commoner to you?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You&quot;re royalty!?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You raise your chin and indicate yes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Get that shit out of here! No Gods, No kings, Only Democracy!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You reel back from the sheer malice in that statement.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Now where the hell are we, Horse?&quot;</span><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You are Captain Anonymous.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And you're full of eternal Freedom-induced, Democracy-driven rage.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's low key, though, so you're just seething in the name of America.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;WE are on my domain, the Moon, you insolent wretch.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your eye twitches.</span><br />&quot;Are you trying to fuck with me?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Why would I attempt coitus with an uncultured swine like you?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You look up and into the sky.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's the fucking earth.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your eye twitches once more.</span><br />&quot;WHAT IN THE FLYING FUCK IS THIS?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You stand up, seemingly no worse for wear.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You step forward and slowly take off your shades, looking up at the big horse all the while.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can see her flinch.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can taste the fear.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's ready to receive freedom.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But it's too soon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Do not come a step closer, you raving beast!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She stamps her foot and sends moon dust flying.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I&quot;m not afraid to incinerate your very being!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You stop short of her.</span><br />&quot;Fine. How do we get off this moon?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She looks jarred at your bipolar moodswing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You love fucking with normies.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Before you so graciously stumbled out of the portal that I was making to get back to Equestria, I was going to be their today!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You raise your hands out of habit and prepare to deflect your mistake onto a lower rank.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You put your hands back down after it becomes evident that none of your subordinates were here.</span><br />&quot;Blame the Sand Niggers!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Blame the what?&quot;</span><br />&quot;You heard me.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Silence reigns over you and your host for what seems like hours.</span><br /><br /><br />&quot;So, what's Equestria like? &quot;I've never heard of it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Boredom executes your malice faster than the French Revolution executed that fat, cake eating bitch.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It&quot;s a place full of traitors and dreams of grandeur.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The corner of your mouth turns up in doubt.</span><br />&quot;Well. That's a bit of a stark description.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I suppose it is. But it would take too long to explain.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You squint slightly and stare the back of her head down.</span><br />&quot;We&quot;re on the moon, for fucks sake, what are we waiting for?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She sighs and turns to look at Earth/Equus below.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Do you want to guess why I&quot;m here? On the moon, I mean?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You smile slightly under the bandana that covers your face.</span><br />&quot;Did you steal someone's sweetroll?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She dares a glance back and quirks her eye before looking back at the planet that loomed before you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;No sound comes from the two of you as she seemingly doesn't want to elaborate.</span><br />&quot;Is that it? You're not going to tell me why?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You cross your arms to convey your seriousness.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I&quot;m not a well liked Pony. That's why I&quot;m here.&quot;</span><br />&quot;That's not vague at all.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You slowly sit down next to her, bending one knee and extending the other.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I did things&quot; that nopony approved of.&quot;</span><br />&quot;I do those kind of things all the time, sweet cheeks.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She glares at you for a moment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I most assuredly did something worse than you ever did or ever will.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Lady, I'm indirectly the cause of more than <span class="nu0">30</span>,000 deaths and damn well proud of most of them.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes widen slightly, just barely enough to notice.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;How?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You scoff and respond.</span><br />&quot;I supplied an army. A modern Crusade, really.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She looks sort of taken aback.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I do not know how many deaths I've caused.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You snort and flippantly reply.</span><br />&quot;Enough to get sent to the moon.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You feel a small pang of regret at saying that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Quiet creeps over you and the rest of the desolate moon.</span><br /><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You had walked away shortly after your talk with the blue horse.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You had crossed the grey satellite in short time.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sitting down, you looked over your shoulder for any indicator that the pegacorn from earlier had followed you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your not so keen eyes sweep the landscape for any sign of blue.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You only spot sight of Earth at the cusp of your vision.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You let out a defeated sigh and sit down against a large rock.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;How long were you doomed to stay on something man had only set foot on six times?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You sat in thought, your mind swimming with ideas of crushing loneliness and despair.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Eventually, you find yourself drifting off to sleep.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your dreams are surprisingly pleasant despite what's happening.</span></div></div>




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