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			<h1 id="section_0">Adventures Of Anontonio Day</h1><ul id="page-actions" class="hlist"><li id="ca-edit" class="icon icon-32px icon-edit" title="Edit the lead section of this page."></li><li id="ca-talk" class="hidden icon icon-32px icon-talk"><a href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php?title=Talk:Adventures_Of_Anontonio_Day&amp;action=edit&amp;redlink=1" title="Discussion about the content page [t]" accesskey="t">Discussion</a></li><li id="ca-watch" class="watch-this-article icon icon-32px"><a href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php?title=Special:UserLogin&amp;returnto=Adventures+Of+Anontonio+Day" title="Add this page to your watchlist [w]" accesskey="w"></a></li></ul>		</div>
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This page was created by a <a href="./User:HotRobotSlave" title="User:HotRobotSlave">bot</a> and has not undergone revision yet.
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<td><b>Writefag</b>
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<td> Coffeeholic
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<td><b>Pastebin link</b>:
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<td><a rel="nofollow" class="external free" href="http://pastebin.com/9UhVns8R">http://pastebin.com/9UhVns8R</a>
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<td><b>Pastebin creation</b>
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<td>Wednesday 2nd of March 2016 11:18:22 PM CDT
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<td><b>Last Pastebin update</b>
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<td>Friday 12th of August 2016 04:04:08 AM CDT
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</div><h3><span class="mw-headline" id="Adventures_Of_Anontonio_Day_0">Adventures Of Anontonio Day 0</span><a href="Adventures_Of_Anontonio_Day#/editor/1" title="Edit section: Adventures Of Anontonio Day 0" data-section="1" class="edit-page icon icon-32px icon-edit enabled">Edit</a></h3><div>
<div dir="ltr" class="mw-geshi mw-code mw-content-ltr"><div class="gettext source-gettext">&#160;<br />The following &quot;Adventures of Anontonio in Equestria&quot; is a story for Dadonequus threads or Discord Dad General on /mlp/<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;day cazzo you had an accident and are regaining consciousness</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;be Anontonio</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;boy does your head hurt</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your mama always told you that you should wear a helmet when driving on your Vespa in the hills</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but you didn't listen, you're no bambino</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you always preferred your flatcap anyways</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Little -olt, ---tle colt! Ohhh, I -ope he's a-rig--...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;some soft spoken angel's voice is calling out to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wait, that's not Italian</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;owch, ayyy</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;nevermind the head, your everything hurts</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;at least it means you survived</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're not in the next life yet</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;-alm do-n dear -lutt-rshy, ou- little guest -eems t- be commin- too.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;another foreign, yet quirky voice responds</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you begin to recognize some of those words</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you half-assed your way through English classes in high school</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you faintly start to put together the cause of the accident in your head</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you where on the job delivering pizza</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;out of nowhere while driving you were blinded by some oval shaped light and then nothing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;foreigners must of blinded you with their high beams and hit you with their car</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;no way you'll be able to collect on that tip now</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;damn tourists</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you faintly hear munching sounds followed by the quirky voice again</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ah but Fluttershy, look the picnic isn't ALL ruined. Forget about the colt for a moment and try some of this pizza! It's thin and toasty with a delicious unique pungent flavor.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your hearing becomes clearer</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;pizza?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;after suffering through an accident, these foreigners are enjoying YOUR delivery</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;like hell were you going to stand for that without payment</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Now Discord, I hardly--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you cut off the angel before she could rebuke</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your eyelids angrily force open and you, in your best english you can muster shout</span><br />&quot;LETTA GO OV MAI PIZZA, TIEVS!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;10/10, surely you got your message across</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You see before you what you can only imagine are are a pair of pastel colored pupazzos looking down at you with a pastel colored sky just above</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;one of a shocked horse and the other, a smug snake-like being</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;probably stiched with whatever spare parts the plushie factory had left over and still munching on YOUR pizza</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you think you're either hallucinating from some heavy medication after the accident or that you're trapped in one very strange nightmare</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you notice something pastel colored covering your nose and you reach out to touch it with your hand</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but instead you see this flat circular fluffy nub howeveing from the extension of your now fluffy pastel colored arm</span><br />&quot;Auurgh!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you yelp in horror as you instinctively bring your other hand to bare with your face only to realize that another nub appears and you yelp once more</span><br />&quot;Aaaauuurghhh!!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you focus on getting your upper body up form your laid down back position to get a better look at yourself</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;W-we didn't mean to-&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you instinctively cut off angel horse in another yelp as you observe your body</span><br />&quot;Aaaruuughhhaghhrr!?!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;your legs have the same nubs at the end instead of feet</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you have a tail currently covering your privates which you REALLY don't want to think about right now</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you have these two feathery appendages sticking out of your back, wings?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your face has some sort of muzzle and you're fluffy all over</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;never in your wildest dreams have you ever thought you could get THIS hairy, or so you thought</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what are you supposed to be, some kind of magical talking donkey plush?!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you begin to shake</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Now now, no need to get rude little one. If you &quot;really&quot; want it back, you can have it.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you just notice the Trogdor look-a-like with an ass's head is sitting on a pastel shaded vespa</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a vespa that eerily resembles the one you use to deliver pizza right down to the decals and pizza boxes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you then watch in shock as it regurgitates the pizza it ate onto it's lion's paw and the slice rematerializes as if it was never chewed to begin with</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you cringe as you watch it put the slice back into one of the open pizza boxes and ass-face speaks up again</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;There, was that so bad?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;mortal men like you were not meant to witness such things</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can't wake up</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can't unsee</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you want off this hell</span><br />&quot;AAAAUUUURRGHHURAAAHHH!?!!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you yell one last time and pass out</span><br /><br />Bonus to my readers: A fellow writer, Erf made a Vocaroo of the end of this chapter. I had a good laugh listening to my own writing red, so I though I'd share it. Link here: http://vocaroo.com/i/s0JN9mEWCUmv</div></div>
</div><h3><span class="mw-headline" id="Adventures_Of_Anontonio_Day_1a">Adventures Of Anontonio Day 1a</span><a href="Adventures_Of_Anontonio_Day#/editor/2" title="Edit section: Adventures Of Anontonio Day 1a" data-section="2" class="edit-page icon icon-32px icon-edit enabled">Edit</a></h3><div>
<div dir="ltr" class="mw-geshi mw-code mw-content-ltr"><div class="gettext source-gettext">&#160;<br />The following &quot;Adventures of Anontonio in Equestria&quot; is a story for Dadonequus threads or Discord Dad General on /mlp/<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;day cazzo you had an accident and are regaining consciousness</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;be Anontonio</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;boy does your head hurt</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your mama always told you that you should wear a helmet when driving on your Vespa in the hills</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but you didn't listen, you're no bambino</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you always preferred your flatcap anyways</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Little -olt, ---tle colt! Ohhh, I -ope he's a-rig--...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;some soft spoken angel's voice is calling out to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wait, that's not Italian</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;owch, ayyy</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;nevermind the head, your everything hurts</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;at least it means you survived</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're not in the next life yet</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;-alm do-n dear -lutt-rshy, ou- little guest -eems t- be commin- too.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;another foreign, yet quirky voice responds</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you begin to recognize some of those words</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you half-assed your way through English classes in high school</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you faintly start to put together the cause of the accident in your head</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you where on the job delivering pizza</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;out of nowhere while driving you were blinded by some oval shaped light and then nothing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;foreigners must of blinded you with their high beams and hit you with their car</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;no way you'll be able to collect on that tip now</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;damn tourists</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you faintly hear munching sounds followed by the quirky voice again</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ah but Fluttershy, look the picnic isn't ALL ruined. Forget about the colt for a moment and try some of this pizza! It's thin and toasty with a delicious unique pungent flavor.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your hearing becomes clearer</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;pizza?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;after suffering through an accident, these foreigners are enjoying YOUR delivery</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;like hell were you going to stand for that without payment</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Now Discord, I hardly--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you cut off the angel before she could rebuke</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your eyelids angrily force open and you, in your best english you can muster shout</span><br />&quot;LETTA GO OV MAI PIZZA, TIEVS!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;10/10, surely you got your message across</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You see before you what you can only imagine are are a pair of pastel colored pupazzos looking down at you with a pastel colored sky just above</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;one of a shocked horse and the other, a smug snake-like being</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;probably stiched with whatever spare parts the plushie factory had left over and still munching on YOUR pizza</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you think you're either hallucinating from some heavy medication after the accident or that you're trapped in one very strange nightmare</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you notice something pastel colored covering your nose and you reach out to touch it with your hand</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but instead you see this flat circular fluffy nub howeveing from the extension of your now fluffy pastel colored arm</span><br />&quot;Auurgh!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you yelp in horror as you instinctively bring your other hand to bare with your face only to realize that another nub appears and you yelp once more</span><br />&quot;Aaaauuurghhh!!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you focus on getting your upper body up form your laid down back position to get a better look at yourself</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;W-we didn't mean to-&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you instinctively cut off angel horse in another yelp as you observe your body</span><br />&quot;Aaaruuughhhaghhrr!?!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;your legs have the same nubs at the end instead of feet</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you have a tail currently covering your privates which you REALLY don't want to think about right now</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you have these two feathery appendages sticking out of your back, wings?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your face has some sort of muzzle and you're fluffy all over</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;never in your wildest dreams have you ever thought you could get THIS hairy, or so you thought</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what are you supposed to be, some kind of magical talking donkey plush?!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you begin to shake</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Now now, no need to get rude little one. If you &quot;really&quot; want it back, you can have it.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you just notice the Trogdor look-a-like with an ass's head is sitting on a pastel shaded vespa</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a vespa that eerily resembles the one you use to deliver pizza right down to the decals and pizza boxes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you then watch in shock as it regurgitates the pizza it ate onto it's lion's paw and the slice rematerializes as if it was never chewed to begin with</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you cringe as you watch it put the slice back into one of the open pizza boxes and ass-face speaks up again</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;There, was that so bad?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;mortal men like you were not meant to witness such things</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can't wake up</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can't unsee</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you want off this hell</span><br />&quot;AAAAUUUURRGHHURAAAHHH!?!!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you yell one last time and pass out</span><br /><br />Bonus to my readers: A fellow writer, Erf made a Vocaroo of the end of this chapter. I had a good laugh listening to my own writing red, so I though I'd share it. Link here: http://vocaroo.com/i/s0JN9mEWCUmv<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Week time sure flys in horseland</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;be Anontonio, embracer of night and master of Zs</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;fiery rays of luminescent hell peek through a crack in the makeshift blinds and over your closed eyelids</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you instinctively rustle under the covers of your bed, clenching fabric with your teeth to keep you in the sweet embrace of darkness</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the song-birds chirps slowly lull you back to sleep almost as if a lullaby was constantly played for you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you feel like you don't have a worry in the world</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;there is no need to go to work</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;there is no chores to be done or expenses paid</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;there are no crazy magic talking horses trying to make you do crazy magic horse things</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;there is only sleep</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;there is only pace</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it is a peaceful respite for you-</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;pat pat pat pat</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you feel a familiar light stomp-like tapping over you from beyond the covers</span><br />&quot;N-nnon, Mama!? Ancora cinque m-minuti..&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you plead in your muffled voice as curl up tighter rejecting what the outside world could offer over your little shade of heaven</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;DIRIRING-A-DRING-A-RING-A-DRING---GRING&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your hoof instantly pokes out of the covers and makes contact with the alarm clock with the force and strength of a thousand spicy gnocchi</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hear a muffled dinging sound in the distance and the tapping weight that was on you seems to have gone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;excellent, back to your peaceful state of quiet rest and relaxation</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the weight suddenly returns and so does that awful ringing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;DRING-A-RING-A!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you release your fore-hoof again in hopes to silence the invading mechanical abomination to your fortress of blissful ignorance, but the weight bounced to another spot over you out of its reach</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;BLING-A-BLING-A!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you release your other fore-hoof in attempt to knock it of off, but the weight just hopped out of your reach once more as if taunting you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you groan in annoyance and begin simply flailing about underneath the covers</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you swung your head, kicked with your hooves, flapped with your wings, whipped your tail, tossed and turned</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but despite your thrashing, your efforts never succeeded in knocking away the alarm as it kept dodging your limbs</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've had enough of this merda</span><br />&quot;O-okaaay, who-a dares wake da lupo!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you begrudgingly toss the covers off you and stand ready to face the sorry birichino who woke you from your peaceful slumber</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;before you stands the one Fluttershy called &quot;Angel Bunny&quot; with a smug, almost pleased look on his stupid little bobble head face over your reaction and all while tapping at the clock with his paw</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this rabbit was no &quot;Angel&quot; to you, if anything the opposite, you'd bet that if ass-face didn't exist that this bunny is Lucifer itself</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you calmed your emotions for a moment and eyed in the general direction of the clock</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it showed no lines or numbers, just a large arrow and small arrow indicating that it should be around 10:30 if it's anything similar to earth hours</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you don't know how time zones work in magical talking horse world</span><br />&quot;Ay see, I overrslept did-en't ayy..&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you turn around and stretch your legs as Devil bunny looks at you with a puzzled expression as if expecting an entirely different reaction from you and is contemplating how well you're taking this</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;AND HE'S RIGHT TO</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;as if getting ready to pounce you slowly turn your neck to bring you face to face the meat</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your half closed eyes bloodshot and with a rage filled gaze, your large cartoon pupil twinkled with mischievous intent, if you had any veins in your forehead, they'd most definitely be shown pumping now and you muzzle giving a sly grin just large enough to show the tips of your canines</span><br />&quot;DON BREAK-A MY BALLS BUNNY!!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;the meat begins to turn around expecting a chase</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but that wasn't your intent</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;with your fore hooves already in firm position, you buck with all your pent up Italian rage and send Angel flying along with the held alarm clock</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;eeeeeeeeeeeee&quot;</span><br />&quot;I WAKE-A UP WHEN AYY WAND TO PORCO DIAVOLO!!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Angel flew into the blinds and smashes through the window with a crash</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAALLLLLL-</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;solar rays of immense burning discomfort washes over your once giddy face</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your pupils immediately construct, you instinctively turn your head away and cover your vision with a hoof full of shade while hissing in displeasure</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you bet that magic pony &quot;princess&quot; with that fat sunny ass is behind this</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;somewhere in magic horse land an Alicon Princess sitting on her throne while going about her daily court duties sneezes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;A-anon, is everything alright?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;well, there is no point in going back to sleep now</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stretch on the bed and give out a long yawn as Fluttershy enter the living room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she gives you a concerned look</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;O-oh I knew, I heard something.. Anontonio, I was worried you'd overslept. You're going to be late for your first day of school!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;school?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;catzo, do you really need horse education? You've already graduated</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy eyes go wide over the broken window next to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;When did this happen, was it always broken?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you reply with another disinterested yawn and half closed eyes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy frowns as she observes some glass fragments on the floor</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I guess I'll have to stop by Applejack's kiosk and ask if she can patch this up later. I wouldn't want anypony catching a cold.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she begins backpeddling and sweeping the debris into a corner with her tail</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;neat, but you wouldn't want glass in your hair</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Have seen Angel? I'm positive that I've asked him to wake in case you overslept.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the bunny? That little devil's could be spending the day picking &quot;carrots&quot; out of from his culo for all you care</span><br />&quot;Angel? Si, I'mma looking right at her-a.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you say, facing Fluttershy with a smug grin</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy's wings rustled and she seemed flustered for a moment</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anontonio, we had this talk already. I told you to call me Fluttershy or miss Fluttershy, not angel horse.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;10outta10, question averted</span><br />&quot;Si, si. Whadevar you say-a miss angel horse.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Flittershy frowned</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Also remember what Princess Celestia told you, We are ponies, not horses.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You also remember asking if ponies have free speech under her rule, which is a yes and it also helps that everyone thinks you're a child despite your protests.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not that you care much about Sunbutt's rule anyways, the only thing she's done for you was get Assface temporarely off your back and force you to agree to a set of conditions to find you a suitable foster home.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what's that?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you wish to recall the specific details of your agreement with the horse sun goddess?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;too bad, you're too tired for such deep thinking</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;perhaps if the subject ever gets brought up, you'll think about it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy stops what she's doing and approaches you smiling with dreamy eyes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh merda, why the sudden change of tune</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;from your experience, when Italian women suddenly change tune towards this quickly it's usually a sign of them having a cunning idea or you're in for some sort of wooping</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hope mares are different</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you feel uneasy and lean back away from her</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anontonio.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she says as she comes closer to you with now dreamy eyes you do not feel comfortable receiving while on a bed</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this is some kind of next level mental horse hypnosis, you can tell</span><br />&quot;Seeing as you'll be late anyways, why don't you get ready for school while I clean this up so we can go together?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;what, together?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but you don't want to go</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you want to sleep somewhere shady</span><br />&quot;Whad? Why can't ay just go by myselfa!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well um, seeing you always sleep in gives me the impression that you'll just get lost and fall asleep somewhere.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you cringe from her realization</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this horse</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this horse right here</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've lived with her for about a week and she already knows you too well</span><br />&quot;Do ayy hav to? I'm a-a foreignerr. Besides, ay hav gotten diploma already ay sweara!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you begged not to go, at least you think you did with your new pegasus body by lowering your head and keeping your forhooves together</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy frowned again upon finding out her intuition was correct and gave you a stern stare</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;catzo</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your gaze was frozen, facing hers</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you were right to assume this was some sort of mind game</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anon!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she said in a more assertive and commanding tone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you gulp, still frozen in the siren's trance</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Even if I believed that were the case, I happen to know that even colts in Itaily go to schools until they graduate as productive stallions for society.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;that's right, you've been told by Celestia that there is a continent to the east of Equestria with a country named Itaily in the middle of an inland sea known as the Mareditermaneian with the capital of Roam that speak your native language</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;with added horse puns of course</span><br />Just thinking up these, drove me crazy.<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Besides.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy picks you up off the bed with her forehooves and drops you gently standing on your 4 hooves onto the floor</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You'll learn to read and write an, ohh, oh of course, you'll make friends and play with many other colts and fillies of your age!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she says with a more excitable tone</span><br />&quot;Ayy'm an adul-&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;DOSEN'T THAT SOUND LIKE FUN?!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she cuts off your retort and beams at you with a wide smile</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;shaken, you groan and just accept your fate</span><br />&quot;F-fine, ayyy'll a-go get ready...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;a victorious squee, rubber duck-like noise can be heard coming from her as you turned around and choose not to question it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you make your way towards and up the stairs one by one</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;once you've reached the peak you take a left, enter the washroom and slam the door shut behind you to vent some frustration</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you patter into the shower booth, close the curtains behind you and boop the shower lever on</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;yes magic horses have plumbing and showers</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it's very cold mind you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;shivering from initial contact, you'd think you we're covered in wet snow on the alps or something</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;still it's not all bad, you've always liked to keep your self groomed and looking your best for any occasion</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;probably your fault anyways since you've woken up so late and all the warm water was used</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you try to ignore it with some singing</span><br />&quot;Lasciatemi cantare~&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you let the water pour over you evenly as you twirl in a circle in your happy tune</span><br />&quot;Con la chitarra in mano~&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dio mio, do you sure miss you hands</span><br />&quot;Lasciatemi cantare<br />una canzone piano, piano..&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;feeling your coat sufficiently soggy and your mane rinsed you stand on your rear legs to be able to reach a shampoo bottle on the counter</span><br />&quot;Lasciatemi cantare~&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you clamp your fore-hooves together to clutch the bottle and let the shampoo splurge onto your mane, back and tail</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've only been here for about 2 weeks and you've already realized how much you took your figure and arms for granted living the life of a stubby little horse for daily mundane things like being able to brush your teeth</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you drop the bottle and slowly but methodically scrub yourself clean one hoof at a time</span><br />&quot;Perche ne sono fiero!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stand on your rear legs again to see what else you can use from the counter and notice your nemesis</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a bar of soap</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you narrow your eyes in determination</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;be lucifer himself</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;no you mean rabbit ragu</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;BE ANGEL BUNNY</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're certain you've spent too much time living with Anontonio</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you tolerated that blasted little wop for too long</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not that you were trying...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;BUT STILL!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this be YOUR cottage</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy be YOUR caretaker</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE FAVORITE</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;and you're certain you still have some glass shards lodged in your furry little tush</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh, but your suffering ends today</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;OHHHH YES, you've got a carrot with you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;no, not just any carrot</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've sharpened this carrot with all your lust for revenge, so you're certain it's pointy enough to impale that marshmallow</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;THAT'S RIGHT YOU'RE GONNA STAB HIM WITH IT!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can listen to him sing the song of his people in the shower from outside the cottage</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;good he's distracted, it will be the last tune he chirps</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hop onto the second floor ledge and as silently as you can open the bathroom port window. Tip toe inside on your paws, and close it behind you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wouldn't want anypony important to hear the deed as anything other then horrid singing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stealthly leap down onto the washroom floor under the ambiance of the running shower water and slowly inch your way closer to the shower's curtains like some kind of a ninja</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a ninja turtle</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;who says bunny's can't be slow and steady when assassinating an unsuspecting foal</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;NOT YOU THAT'S WHO</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Perche ne sono fiero!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're now close enough to see your shadow on the curtains</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;fortunately for you your prey has currently turned his back towards you and is preoccupied with the contents of the counter</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you grin and maliciously drool at the perfect opportunity before you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;standing on your back legs you carefully open the curtain entrance to the side with your left paw and slowly raise your right paw wielding the carrot in preparation for the stabbing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;THIS IS IT!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Sono un Italiaaaaa-NNOOOOOOOOOONNNN!?!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;be Anontonio</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you recoil back, flutter your wings and scramble your fore-hooves</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;that damned soap bar just won't stay in your grasp</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;trying to clench it with both hooves, it slips out of your clutches as you attempt to stop juggling it around</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;and there's no way in hell you're going to use your mouth</span><br />&quot;MA VAFFANCULO SAPONE E CHE TI HA FATTO!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;even IF you acknowledge being a potty-mouth</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;getting impatient you attempt to catch it with a clamping motion of both your wings in front of you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;instead this sends you reeling back onto your plot and launches the soap at incredible speed as it continuously ricochets about in the shower</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you duck and cover your eyes as the ballistic soap misses your head by a hair</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hear a crash and then quiet</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you lift your head and notice the soap is gone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;w-well, it's not like you wanted to smell your b-best anyways!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Stupid slippery soap bars and stupid hooves...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not that you expected your wings to emit that much force either</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you swear that soap bar had the velocity of a bloody cannon shell or something</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it could of killed you</span><br />&quot;Un... Italiano.. Vero.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you finish your little tune, panting and boop the shower water lever off</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you exit the shower to dry yourself and step on what seems to be a carrot</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you ponder for a moment, why would Angel horse have a peeled carrot on the washroom floor</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a sudden thought comes to you and you blush</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh, OH!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you quickly look for something else, not wanting to think further on magic talking horse anatomy</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you notice the washroom window is busted</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you assume the ballistic soap is perhaps miles away by now</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you sigh and finish drying yourself, also you succeeded to manually comb your mane back with your wings while it's still wet</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you would kill for some hands and hair gel right about now</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Come on down Anon, I've got your saddlebag ready!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you groan, remembering that you still have to go to magic horse elementary school today</span><br />&quot;Si, si, ayy'm on da wayy!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you exit the washroom and make your way down</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Angel horse was already waiting for you by the exit next to what seemed a white double sided knapsack abomination</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wait, you notice she was wearing something similar too on her back</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Come on over here Anon, so I can put this saddlebag on you back and we can get going.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Do ayy really hav' to wear ZAT!?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you point in disgust towards the knapsack abomination</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy scowls disapproving at your snobbish attitude and sternly stares towards you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes, every young colt and filly wears a saddlebag to school and so will you mister.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Ok, ok, I get it! I'll wear zis abominio difettoso!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you groan and make you way to Fluttershy and let her strap the saddlebag onto you back, just behind your wings</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;great</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;now you were not only a horse, but a working horse only a week after mastering walking</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;like a horse</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not that the weight was too much for you and it surprisingly fit your marshmallow pony anatomy well</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, it's only been about a week and already you look like a colt ready to be sent off for your first day of school, I'm so proud!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;n-not that you'll ever admit it tho</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've got your own pride</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy motioned you to exit while keeping while covering her expression with one hoof in what can only now be described as a happy yet close to sobby state</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;as you exit you avert your gaze for a moment to your old Vespa leaning on the porch</span><br />&quot;So-a, 'ow long befor we arrive?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ponyville is only a good 10 minute trot away, but knowing you're pace it'll take 20 minutes. Oh I know, how about a race? I'm not the fastest pony around. Betch'ya can beat be if you just try!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wow, Angel horse REALLY wants to see you get excited for this</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;however you don't share her enthusiasm or care</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've already had your share of schooling growing up back on earth</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;besides</span><br />&quot;If ayy'm going to be late anyways, ayy may as well be fashionably late and...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you sigh then momentarily point back towards the Vespa for Fluttershy as you pace with her</span><br />&quot;If I could be able to ride that oversized scooter in mai current state, ayy'd be able to get zere in less zan <span class="nu0">5</span> minutes presto!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;bushes suddenly rustled behind you along your path but dismissed it as merely one of Fluttershy's many wild pets going about their business</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, well I'm sure you'll be happy to know that once you learn to fly that you'll be able to match speed in no time.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Angel horse's adamant cheery attempts to suggest to you to always look towards the future positively has left a modest but tiny smile on you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you try your best to be less argumentative with her untill you reach Ponyville</span><br />&quot;So-a, what's in mai saddlebag?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;School supplies, a pair of textbooks, a pair of bits and the lunch I prepared for you.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you turn your neck around enough momentarily to sniff at your saddlebag but don't find any distinct smell other then that of text book</span><br />&quot;What's for lunch?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, my specialty. Cucumber and daisy sandwiches!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You turn your head away from here and gag in disgust</span><br />&quot;I zink ayy'd be able to find more taste in an English muffin.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you mutter</span><br />&quot;What was that?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;not currently wanting to argue with your caretaker about obviously inferior horse &quot;food&quot;, you quickly change subject</span><br />&quot;Sooo, ey tell me about-a your first day in school.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I-if your really want to know. I mean, it was so long ago.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Si, ayy do.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you really don't</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, when I was a little filly the first thing that happened that morning after waking up was opening my window completely to be greeted by the sun and darling birds blah blah, blah blah blah, blah blah...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this is going to be a long 10 minutes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you seem to be closer to the Ponyville's center some 15 minutes later</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;pacing behind a babbling Fluttershy, completely oblivious to your disregard of her times at school</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the trip wasn't all fruitless to you however</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've discovered a use for your wings</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;using the tips as ear plugs, it helped you drown out this mare's voice</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not that Fluttershy has ever caught your disinterest</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;whenever she looked back to make sure you kept up, you feigned whistling a tune, playing innocent and answering with the occasional &quot;Si si.&quot; or &quot;Oh really?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she seemed to be fairly excited to share her experience</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you almost feel bad for her</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;almost</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she suddenly turns to face an off-guard you with a cheerful smile and proclaims</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We've arrived!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you sweat as you quickly put on an act of you cleaning out your ears with your wings for a moment</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Uhm Anontonio, are you listening?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Ehh, si si! Ayy was just cleaning out my ears-a, I zink some wader remain from showering.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you take a look around you avoiding the conversation further</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're now standing in what seems to be a market square, bustling with ponies of all kinds and colors going about their day</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can even distinguish some of the goods on sale despite their alien yet simple pastel colored shapes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you see baked good stands, kitchen appliance stands, tool stands, fruits and vegetable stands as far as your oversized horse eyes can see</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anon? Anontonio, this is your first time at the marketplace isn't it.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Si, ayy guess.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy points a fore-hoof towards an apple stand-wagon with a familiar orange mare wearing a cowboy hat pitching to sell apples</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'll be over there talking with Applejack for a moment, I know how excited you are to see Ponyville but you've still got to go to school. I'll let you explore the market place but stay close to the market square within my line of sight, ok?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Va bene, ayy'll look around.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you nod and trot towards a more opening in the market yet still in the limits Angel horse's sight</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you trot up to a cherry stand with a stern looking tan pegasus stallion wearing a cap and bow-tie manning it</span><br />&quot;Ughh ciao, do you sell cherrys?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes we do lil' colt! I saw you walkin up 'ere, eyeing the goods. Why, tell me is that yellow pegasus mare waving over there your mommy?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you turn momentarily and see Fluttershy waving mid conversation with the apple mare in acknowledgement of your position</span><br />&quot;Non non, she's actually my legal guardian-&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, have I got a special offer for you little colt!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the tan stallion cuts you off, pulls your head closer with his hoof and with a sly grin begins whispering in your ear</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Just for you, a special price! I'll sell a half-dozen cherries for a measly, oh I dunno 30 bits.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he then lets you go, expectantly waiting for a reply</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, waddya say colt?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you rub the back of your head in annoyance</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this confuses you, yet at the same time you have a gut feeling that something wasn't quite right here</span><br />&quot;Bitz? What are zese bitz you speak of?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;the stallion groans and rolls his eyes at you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Figures HER colt wouldn't even know about bits.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he mutters ignorant of you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ugh I just realized we don't serve foals, please come back when you've got bits with you.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you scowl as the stallion shoos you away dismissively</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;rude</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it's not your fault you don't know magic horse land customs</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you didn't even WANT to taste an alien pastel colored cherry</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;I-idiota!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you move along to the next stand with a big and dumb looking stallion with a scruffy mane manning it</span><br />&quot;Whad do you sell 'ere?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;the stallion answer with a goofy yet bluntly honest tone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Screws and screw accessories.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Zat it?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yep, just about. We got some nails and hammers inna back too.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you never would of guessed this horse with a screw loose seriously makes a living selling screws and nails at a stand</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you immediately remember the busted windows back at Fluttershy's cottage</span><br />&quot;You know~&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you point at Fluttershy and the apple mare with a hood</span><br />&quot;I zink zose ponies over zere may be in need-a of some nails. You should ask zem!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Gee, thanks colt! I'll go do that!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you watch the stallion leave his stall unattended and trek towards the mares</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wow, he's really trusting of you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you observe the vulnerable goods of the stall but find nothing of real interest to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;figures there's nothing you could even use except for maybe a hammer</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not that you'd take it anyways</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're not grabbing anything with your horse mouth</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you aren't some dirty animal peasant</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've been spoon-fed soup like a king for over a week already by Angel horse!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the soup could be better though</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you don't think you could go another week &quot;tolerating&quot; tomato soup</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;just because you have canines doesn't make you a vampire</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;or does it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you realize you still know very little of your current horse biology</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;perhaps going to school won't be so bad</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;perhaps you'll also be able to educate the uncultured horses on minestrone and cream soups in the near future</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you move on to the next stand</span><br />&quot;Whad do you sell?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;a unicorn mare with a bun mane and board expression answer with a sarcastic and grainy tone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What's it look like I'm selling!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you observe the stall and see nothing but rows of brooms, brooms for days</span><br />&quot;Brooms?<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Brooms, wanna buy!&quot;</span><br />&quot;For whad are they magic? Canna I ride on zem and fly like a strega or somezing?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No that's silly, they sweep. You got any bits!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;well EXCUSE ME how are you supposed to know magic horse land doesn't have magic brooms</span><br />&quot;Whad are bitz!?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Look colt!&quot; she says in a coarse tone &quot;You're wasting my time. If you're a foreigner that hasn't got any bits, then scram!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're angry</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you don't have to take this from this puttana</span><br />&quot;FINE!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you shout in a quaking tone, a third of the market's eyes on you and they all probably heard you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the mare before you visibly wide eyed and shocked</span><br />&quot;AN WHILE YOUR-A AT IT, VATTENE A SCOPARE WIZ YOUR BROOM, FICA!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stomp away angrily, leaving the shaking cunt hiding behind her stall</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you have half a mind to get that hammer and just to whack some respect into her</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you didn't expect to find so many stronzos in magic horse land besides donkey face</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ey colt, non e bello a parlare di altri in quello modo, lo sai?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a taunting yet cheery, girly voice calls out to you before a momentary giggle</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your eyes go wide and you stop moving, trying to register what you've just heard spoken</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;did some PONY just call out to you in your native language!?!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ey colt, chi ti ha insegnato a usare quelle parole cattive?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;another girly voice calls out to you, this one more reserved and cautious</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you begin to turn your attention to the source of the voices</span><br /><br />Continues in Adventures of Anontonio Day 11b: http://pastebin.com/bFE4WWXM<br /><br />I'm going to add music or theme references and translations at the bottom from now on:<br /><br />Shower L'Italiano song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVHvaKo15Pw<br />Angel Bunny's Shower perspective: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Me-VhC9ieh0<br /><br />Line # &amp; word translation, Italian to English:<br /><br /><span class="nu0">15</span>: No mom, another <span class="nu0">5</span> minutes.<br />merda = shit/poop/crap<br />lupo = wolf<br />birichino = little imp/mischievous/troublesome<br />porco diavolo = swine devil/dastardly pig<br />catzo = cock<br />ragu = a ground up meat sauce used often with pasta<br /><span class="nu0">188</span>: Go fuck yourself soap as well as whom ever made you.<br />abomnio = abomination<br />difettoso = defective<br />Vespa = a two stroked engine, seated and aluminum scooter made in Italy.<br />Va bene = very well/ok/all good/everything's fine<br />idiota = idiot<br />strega = witch<br />puttana = whore<br />minestrone = An Italian soup involving stock, vegetables and sometimes pasta<br /><span class="nu0">356</span>:And while you're at it why don't you go sweep with your broom, cunt! <span class="br0">&#40;</span>In Italian to sweep also means to fuck. So Anontonio is telling the broom mare to go fuck herself with her broom.<span class="br0">&#41;</span><br /><span class="nu0">360</span>: Ey colt, it's not nice to talk about others in that way/fashion, you know?<br /><span class="nu0">364</span>: Ey colt, who taught you to use such bad words/language?<br />Continued from: http://pastebin.com/84aS5ubm<br /><br />&quot;Chi chiede?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you call out, demanding a response while trying to discern the source of these voices</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Noi, chi vendiamo il piu maturo e piu dolce di pere, che si sciolgono sulla punta della tua lingua!&quot; answers the excited and cheery voice</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Si noi, che vendiamo i piu succosi di prugne sul nostro piccolo mercato modesto.&quot;a cat</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've never met another pony in horseland with that feature before</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;then again you've never met another pony in horse land that could speak with you in Italian besides Princess Sunnybuns</span><br />&quot;Voi due mi capisci?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Mmmhmmmmmm&quot; say the fillies in unison</span><br />&quot;E voi vendete i frutti?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Only the most plump of prunes, dear customer. They're a bit each.&quot; says the purple one, taking the lead</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Only the most succulent of pears, dear customer! Would you like to buy one cheap?&quot; says the tan pegasus as she begins to seem a little anxious to you, but keeps up her cheery disposition</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you may not know pony culture, but still you didn't expect something close to to child labor</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;fillies are horse children, right?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;why else would Angel horse and the other adult ponies you've spoken with so far not take you seriously otherwise while stating you as a colt?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;and from what you've come to understand from Angel horse is that young ponies go to school</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what are bitz?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;why are they speaking to you in English now?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;many questions run through your mind to ask these fillies that you can actually WANT to converse with for once</span><br />&quot;Tutto da soli alla tua eta? E, come ti chiami voi stessi?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you continue asking in Italian, unknowingly every time in a more inquisitive tone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you get the strange feeling that some ponies in the surrounding market are exchanging odd glances over your conversation</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the fillies ignore your question, turn towards each other and hold each others fore-hooves before muttering something to each other</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Pera~ Pera~ We just met this colt and already he's asking so many questions.&quot; states the purple one</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Prugna~ Prugna~ But this colt we just met may have come fresh off the boat!&quot; exclaims the tan pegasus</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a naive attempt to keep a conversation hidden from your prying horse ears</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you eavesdrop easily since your hearing is much more potent as a pony then when you were human</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;to think YOU of all people would find a boon from being turned into a magic talking horse</span><br />&quot;Ayy canna hear you, lo sai? Answer me, whad are bitz! We talking bitz of focaccia 'ere or whad?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You see? He has a saddlebag prepped for school and he doesn't even know what bits are for!&quot; says the tan one to the purple one as they both turn to face you again</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You see, bits is the name of the coin currency used to trade with here in Equestria.&quot; answers the purple one, obviously addressing you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the two fillies quickly trot up to you, catching you off guard as your wings stiffen in surprise</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm Pera, Sweet Pera!&quot; says the tan pegasus</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;And you may call me, Prugna.&quot; exclaims the purple one</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, don't be so SOUR sis!&quot; taunts Pera light heartedly followed by a short giggle</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;... I told you not to call me that.&quot; Prugna replies bluntly as a faint blush appears on her cheeks</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you watch frozen, trying to process the scene before you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We're twins! Now what's your name, peachy face?&quot; Pera ask between giggling in a mocking tone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We sell fruits here. Now why don't you introduce yourself?&quot; Prugna adds</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;get it together Anon they're just some clingy fillies</span><br />&quot;Ayyy-ughmm, I'm Anontonio. Anon for short-a.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ciao Anon, want to be friends?&quot; asked Pera</span><br />&quot;Ehh, sure? V-va bene!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you owed the twins at least some courtesy in response to answering your question about bits and they we're actually kind of nice company to talk to</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;especially compared to the older market cornuti you've met so far</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ciao Anon, aren't you on your way to school?&quot; asked Prugna</span><br />&quot;Si, actually ayya wanted to ask why you two are not at school?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, we're low on bits currently! Besides, me and Prugna's hours are rever~eeep!&quot; said Pera excitedly moments before Prugna plugged her sister's big mouth shut with a fore-hoof</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What Pera ment to say is that we're home schooled and enjoy the time we spend together living off the fruits of our labor.&quot; explained Prugna</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;these fillies seem to have something to hide from you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you, knowing that you still have to go school today, could care less and decide not to press into it</span><br />&quot;Well, ayy better get-a going. Ayy'm already late for school and Angel horse is probably don~&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Wait!&quot; interrupted Pera as you where about to turn around and walk away</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Wait?&quot; proclaimed Prugna with a slight hint of confusion in her tone</span><br />&quot;Eh?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Pera hesitated in front of the chuck wagon and grabbed a nice looking pear with her dextrous looking wing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your jaw dropped, your mouth remained open for a moment</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you didn't know wings could do that!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;does this mean you yourself could possibly use your wings as a replacement for fingers?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;why didn't Fluttershy tell you they can be used like hands?!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;while you where day dreaming about all the things you could do with winglers, she trotted up to your left and slipped a pear into your left saddlebag pocket</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Too remember our friendship by! Promise to come play with us sometime and use your bits to buy a pear for lunch!&quot; says Pera before giving you a small peck on the left cheek to wake you from your trance and giggling at your dumbfounded expression</span><br />&quot;Huh? Ehh, grazie mille! I promise.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;what did you just promise this filly?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;also...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;WERE YOU JUST KISSED BY A LITTLE HORSE!?!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you were just joking about that with Fluttershy</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;and why are your wings stiff?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you want to master using them like hands!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;perhaps you can ask Pera or some pegasus to teach you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hear a shuffling coming from the saddlebag to your right side</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you turn your head only to see Prugna breathing heavily about an inch away from your face causing you to lean your head back from this sudden invasion of your personal space</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I too left you something for those canines to chew on.&quot;</span><br />&quot;G-grazie?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you answer slightly intimidated</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Whoa there A-non, you stay back from those fillies!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;che cosa?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you turn around to see Fluttershy and that familiar apple mare with a cowboy hat trot towards you from behind</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I-is something wrong Applejack? Did these fillies do something to Anon!&quot; injected angel horse in her confused but worried tone as she trotted around you and inspecting you for non-existent bruises</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Nah, but they likely wer' gonna! Good thing ah stepped in.&quot; �explained apple horse proudly</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What!? We would do no such thing to our new friend! Tell her Anontonio!&quot; shouted Pera with her cheeks now puffing in anger</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Wh-what? Uh, yes. We did not harm this colt...&quot; stated Prugna in a more reserved and hesitant tone</span><br />&quot;Y-yes, Pera and Prugna 'ave done nozing but be kind to me and-a even gave me free fruita!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you clear up hoping to end this strange misunderstanding</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh? How kind of-&quot; said Angel horse more relieved before being cut off</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What? Did ah just hear ya calling each other by yer first name!? Best you forget about them an, throw away that second hand fruit!&quot; shouted apple horse</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;are you missing something here?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Our pears and prunes are grown with all our amore and hard work-a.&quot; replied Pera while shaking one of her fore-hooves angrily</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hear her accent slip for the first time</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;just how dedicated could she be to hide it without ever going to school you wonder</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Our pears and prunes are freshly picked. You are the rotten apple here Applejack.&quot; zinged Prugna completely monotone but now with an unmoving glare</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Why ah otta! Why else would you sell em so cheap then, huh? You no-paper ay-liens should close shop an' return wit your wagon tuh dat pizza-place of yers were yah belong!&quot; argued Applehack</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;APPLEJACK, how could you! They're just fillies!&quot; stated Fluttershy appalled at her friend's rudeness</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh yea, Applejack was her name, like that one American cereal for bambini</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it's forgettable to you for some reason</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What? These ayy-tail-lians are big fillies an illegal hustlers! They only be here 'cause of their family connec-tion. Ah'm just looking out for young A-non is all.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wow you didn't know Applejack could be such a stronza</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not only is she now pinning this on you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;where was she when you were dealing with those cornuti broom and cherry sales-ponies?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;and did she just insult your people too?!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're angry again</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;AYY AM ITALIANO TOO AND-A AM ALSO ALIEN YOU PUTRIDA MELA E CAFONE!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You're a different kind of ay-lien, A-non an' quit yer fancy-speak. This here be 'questria, speak Equestrian. Sweet Celestia, Tis a good thing she decreed that you git a proper ed-ucation here!&quot; says Applesack dismissive of your comment, visibly exhausted from arguing with foals</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We should get going, Anon here is late for school.&quot; added Fluttershy, clearly waning the argument to end</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ah agree, 'bout time A-non meets some honest good foals like Applebloom. Might even help him earn his cutie mark. I'll steer him right when it's mah turn as his guardian anyway.&quot; answered Applefat</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;nope</span><br />&quot;LIKE HELLA WILL AYY GO ANYWHERE WI-&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she stuck a motherfucking apple in your mouth, shutting you up mid sentence</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she then picked you up with her powerful filthy jaws by the skin on the back of your neck despite your struggling flapping wings and dropped you over by where Fluttershy was waiting</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're REALLY getting sick of that</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the fruit stall twins sadly watch you get pulled away as you look back to them one more time</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Applejack huffs and returns to her stall without saying another word</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy, feeling a little sorry for you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gives you a push towards the direction of a path with her wing while keeping you from having to face Applejack or the twins for now and you start walking</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm sorry about Applejack, she's honest and does care for you but her traditions or stubbornness sometimes gets in the way.&quot; explained Fluttershy &quot;But, don't worry! I'm sure she'll grow out of it and you'll all be the best of friends in no time.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Mmhmmmm...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you groan sarcastically, scrunching as you still struggle to chew completely through the apple in your mouth</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;if you had a shit list, you're pretty sure you'd rate that illetterata as #2 after donkey-face of course</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you continue walking with Fluttershy to school while slowly breaking through the apple enough to eventually spit on the side of the road in frustration</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;some 5 minutes later, you arrive trailing alongside Fluttershy to what seems to be a fenced schoolhouse with a bell tower atop a grassy hill</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We're here Anon, Ponyville schoolhouse. Excited for your first day of school?&quot; said Fluttershy as she turned to face you with a smile</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you, you were scowling</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you honestly wanted this day to be over so you could do more productive things</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;things that interest you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;like sleeping or figuring out how to use your winglers</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy's smile dimmed a little, her worry was starting to show again to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You're not nervous are you? Everypony gets a little nervous won the first day, even me, but if you just give yourself a little push everything will be fine.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you eye the red wooden building up and down</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;hearts, hearts on the bell tower, hearts atop the window panels, on the skirts of the roofs and on the hands of the clock</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;hearts for days</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;che schifo</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you cringe, the only appealing feature to you was the white picket fence and roof panels reminding you of those made from terra cotta back in your homeland where appealing architecture actually exists</span><br />&quot;I-iz zis a school for fillies?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, is that all?&quot; Fluttershy looked relieved at your question as if expecting you to still be mad about that orange apple horse</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;which you were</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but you'll cross that bridge when you get there</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No, it's an school for both fillies and colts. Come on It'll be fine, I'll help you introduce yourself to the class!&quot; giggled Fluttershy as she gently pushed you along with her wing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you trot up the short wooden steps and Fluttershy opens the door by twisting the tip of her fore hoof with a little push and the classroom inside is revealed to you as you enter</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;~and that class is why Neighton chose carrot to symbolize mass times the change of velocity first divided by time.&quot; explained a grown mare with a cherry pink coat, emerald eyes and a two tone greyish pink poofy mane &quot;Oh, I didn't expect you to come late.&quot; she commented to Fluttershy who was now a little rosy on the cheeks</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;S-sorry wh-we were a little held up this morning at the market.&quot; answered fluttershy in embarrassment</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what was that you were saying giving yourself a push and not being nervous, huh Angel horse?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you thought with a smug smile</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the mare walks up to you and brings her face eye level to your with a cheery smile</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hello there, why aren't you a handsome looking little colt! Why, look that combed mane and those wing! They're so well developed for your age!&quot; greeted the mare</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you honestly have no idea if this horse was babying you, just being kind complimenting you or seriously hitting on you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Everypony please stand, we have a new student who will be joining our class from now on!&quot; shouted the mare to a group of fillies and colts</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes, miss Cheerilee!&quot; answered the students excitingly</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm miss Cheerilee and I'll be your teacher from now on.&quot; explained Cherry-pie now with a hoof to her chest and a proud smile &quot;Care to introduce yourself to the class?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she motioned you to walk in the direction of a small wooden podium probably used for teaching while you where still processing her silly name in your head</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're now standing on a wooden stool with your rear hooves and leaning on the podium with your fore hooves overlooking the class</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this actually isn't as uncomfortable as you expected</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you take in your surroundings</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the &quot;classroom&quot; looked slightly better on in the inside, there where bookshelves, a telescope, a globe, school supplies, a blackboard, white painted walls with green paneling around the windows, one of which seems to be be a stain glass depiction of one of the students there were a dozen slanted desks with ANOTHER heart design carved in them crudely laid out in rows of four, ten of which were occupied, occupied by a fruity colored bunch of little horses that is, the majority of the students seemed to fillies and the floor...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the &quot;floor&quot; is hay, hay as in the merda a cow would eat or in this case a horse</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it made you feel dirty</span><br />&quot;Class? Wher' iz dis-a class? I see no class here!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Uhm, Anon?&quot; injected Fluttershy, knowing of your difficult attitude &quot;This is a classroom, one of which Princess Celestia decreed that you will attend.&quot; now with a little more sternness in her voice</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Celestia!&quot; some fillies interrupted and began whispering among each other before being shushed by miss Cheerilee and simply continued to stare towards you with interest</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Now why don't you finish Introducing yourself to the nice fillies and colts here.&quot; hinted miss Cheerilee</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you thought when you were being covered no expense of your own by some sun goddess horse when you where decreed to go to a school, that it would be at least as classy as her castle</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;damn horse public schools</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;basta Anon, you may as well get this over with</span><br />&quot;Ascolta bene, voi piccoli farfanti!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;He speaks fancy?&quot; interrupted one yellow filly with a red ribbon</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;He must be some kind of foreign noble!&quot; injected another pink filly with a silly tiny tiara atop her mane</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ughh, what's that mean?&quot; asked one tall and lanky mango colored unicorn colt with a dumb expression on his face</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh right, this is horse-America</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you guess most young ponies don't understand Italian like those twins from the market</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what a shame</span><br />&quot;It MEANS shut your-a trap and let me continue, cornuto!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What's a corn-auto?&quot; interrupts another unicorn colt, this one light blue, short, fat and stubby with who seemed to contrast in color with that first unicorn colt</span><br />&quot;YOU ARE! NO MORE-A QUESTIONS UNTIL AYY FINISH!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;as you shout some cracks form on the edges of the windows soon followed by you slamming the podium with one of your hooves</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the classrooms becomes quietly tame now, all eyes fixed on you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy taps your shoulder</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you turn your neck to face her</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's ok Anontonio, you don't have to get nervous. This is why I'm here to help!&quot; cooed the Angel horse</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you didn't notice that you where borderline snarling and that your wings were full mast almost threatningly</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you perceive that the whole class seemed to be directly observing your wings and teeth</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you calm yourself a little as Fluttershy now addresses the class</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Everypony, this colt here is Anontonio. He will be joining your class every week.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you take a breath and introduce yourself more calmly</span><br />&quot;Si, I am Anontonio. You puledri may call me Anon if zat is too difficult for you. I come 'ere to do my required time and no more-a.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;to you, this may as well be prison</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;an educational zoo</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you want to follow your interests</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy clears her voice and continues</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;As you can see, Anon here is a foreigner. His first language is Itaillian, so he has a hard time communicating with others.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you roll your eyes at Flutter's comment but don't feel like arguing with her</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;after all she's been mostly kind towards you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not to mention that you get easily exhausted around idiots and judging from your experience at the market, Equestria must be full of them</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Please, just try be kind to him and I'm sure you'll make great friends!&quot; Fluttershy then turns to miss Cheerilee &quot;I leave him in your teaching for now. Please take care.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Don't worry Fluttershy, I'm sure everything will be just fine.&quot; said Cheerilee then turning to face you &quot;Anon, why don't you sit down there behind Applebloom and next to Sweetie Belle&gt;&quot; she points to the left hand most seat in the second row with a hoof</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy waves goodbye before leaving as you make your way to the desk</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Applebloom, where have you heard that name from?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you think as you approach the desk behind the filly with the adorable little red bowtie and next to another one who happens to be a white unicorn who seems to have a similar dyed design on her flank from the first</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you approach the stool behind your selected desk and simply drop your horse ass onto it before making yourself comfortable wit the desk</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey Anontonio, I'm Sweetie Belle. Want to join our club, the cutie mark crusaders?&quot; whispered the white unicorn filly excitedly as you turned to face her</span><br />&quot;Che cosa?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you say confused as you face her for a moment before facing whatever was causing that spittle behind you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Pssst, psst! Hey, hey Anon! Are you a vampony?&quot; slobbered the dumb mango cornuto who was sitting in the desk behind you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you grunt, dismiss and ignore the distractions as you lean your head with your fore-hoof on the table</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;eyeing miss Cheerilee and patiently waiting for the class to continue</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Attention everypony, we will now move on to our next lesson! Quiet down please.&quot; shouted the horse teacher</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Meno male!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Today we'll be revisiting our important lesson on Cutie Marks!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Day wake me up in Lala land</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;be Anontonio the pastel colored winged horse abomination plush thing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you begin to come to</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;hopefully you've woken up from that nightmare</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you feel something akin to a rapidly repeating patting on your chest</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you force open your eyelids</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can still see your muzzle and find yourself in a bed with a light blue blanket inside what seems to be a wooden pastel colored cottage</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;cazzo</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh, and did you mention that you notice that there seems to be a bobble-head white bunny plush thing sternly stomping on your poofy chest?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;yep, you're now certain</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've clearly fallen down the rabbit hole this delivery</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you watch the little white bobble bunny turn around and point with one of its stubbly little arms towards its rump</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you notice what looks like tire marks among unkept fur</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you watch as it turns back to face you and points back towards your face as it continues stomping angrily over you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what does this roadkill want from you, a goddamn carrot?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you ignore the furball and raise your upper body up right from a laid down position once more</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you take another look around the room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you see a few windows, stairs leading up, some couches, a fireplace, birdcages hanging from the ceiling, what seems to be other pet accessories, a door leading outside, another probably leading to a kitchen, a nightstand with an oddly familiar looking lamp and the vespa from before parked right next to the bed you were laying in minus the pizza boxes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you feel something suddenly pulling your chest forward</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you look down to see the rude little furball pulling onto your chest fur with one paw and shaking the other paw angrily towards you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;all while rudely squeaking nonsensical noises at you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you raise your right fluffy log of an arm from above the covers and shove the furball off of your hairy chest tuft with a squeak and retort</span><br />&quot;Eyy bugs!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you assume this little birichino understands english from your experiences with the first two plushies you've met since you've woken up to this hell</span><br />&quot;Why don you maek like-a ball an' bounca!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're suddenly interrupted with the distinct sounds of laughter</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hah, oh hoh hoh hoh hoh!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you pause, turn your head and try to find the source of this unexpected chuckling</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh hah, over here my little joker.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you suddenly watch the strangely shaped desk lamp transformed and grew into the snake-like being from before</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you remain speechless as the towering being approaches the side of the bed</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you watch as the puffball on the bedsheet now yips and shakes it's paw angrily towards ass-face while hopping up and down</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you gasp unexpectantly as the bunny suddenly poofs into what seems to be a white rubber ball with it's face it's face etched on it before you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;dumbfounded, you watch as it then gets flicked out the window with a squeak from a flick of the snake-being's talon</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Bounce like a ball, classic...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stare at the snake-being in confusion as it wipes a tear from one of its eyes with its lion's paw before turning to face you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I think I may like you already.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the snaky being sits down on the Vespa, a pair of glasses on it's face, a notepad and quil in paw suddenly poof into existence and it stares expectantly at you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you calm your nerves a little and try to use your words before things could get any more awkward</span><br />&quot;I, whera am I.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;It begins to scribble something on its notepad and continues eyeing you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You're in Fluttershy's quaint little cottage, just outside the bland little town of Ponyville.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you don't recognize either of those names</span><br />&quot;An whera izza dat?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;In the boring kingdom of Equestira part of the generic world of Equestria. &quot;Lame&quot; name, I know.. Wouldn't you agree that Discordia or Chaos-Land would sell as a better name?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you ignore the latter bit of its speech</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the word Equestria as a kingdom or nation doesn't ring a bell to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're now positive that you're no longer living la dolce vita in la bella nazione that is Italy</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you begin to tense up again</span><br />&quot;H-how do ayy come herea!?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, I was enjoying magnificent picnic with Fluttershy when the little white rodent was being peskey. Sooo, I borrowed Celestia's magic mirror in hopes that a steam engine would drive the RUDE raskal away.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;magic mirror? You didn't understand any of this, are you supposed to be in some sort of Disney cartoon?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Of course you came riding on this cushy scooter of yours instead and broke the mirror in dimensional crossing. Oh, but don't worry about that little one. I still commend you on getting the job done. You should of seen your faces! Oh hah!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you watch it chuckle as it throws the notepad and quil into the air and leans closer towards you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;for a moment's glance at the flying notebook you see a crudely drawn picture of the said snake-being wearing sandals that appear to have the head of the rabbit on one and of what seems to be a white unicorn with it's tongue sticking out on the other</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Don't tell Celestia though, I don't think she'd have trouble getting a new one but &quot;I&quot; have a reputation now to keep.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it whispers senseless ramblings close to one of your ears in a hushed tone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you instinctively put up your arms to touch your ears as the snake-being leans back for a moment to watch you inquisitively</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you feel some thing similar to dog ears with your nubs you then feel greasy hair akin to a mane</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;madonna, you're convinced you're a cartoon marshmellow pegasus!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you turn your attention back to it</span><br />&quot;An who'ra you, some talking asino?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I, little colt, am Discord! Draconequus, spirit of chaos, master of mischief, king of fun and funny things! Perhaps you've heard of me?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you watch Discord pose like a egomaniacal prince with poofed golden crown, cane and trophy with &quot;#1 Chaos&quot; etched into it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you get it, he's magic or something</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you give a blank annoyed stare at this pazzo as a few seconds pass</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Humph, I expect a little praise at least. Interdimensional portal summoning of a metal object in motion with such a small mirror wasn't easy you know?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've come to the conclusion that Discord is somehow responsible for your current situation</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;in anger you do what's natural to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you raise your voice</span><br />&quot;PAZZO, SEND ME HO-muphuh!!!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Zip it, wouldn't want to wake Fluttershy before I know a little more about you little one. She's had long night, making space for you here.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your muzzle suddenly feels uncomfortably scrunched shut as Discord booped it with his lion's paw and then makes a zipper like motion</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, it didn't work?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you notice a sudden hesitation in Discord's voice and use this moment to bite down hard on his lion paw</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Gwooo, oh you cute little cad.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;at least your teeth weren't soft</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you feel your jaw snap shut as Discord unhinged his paw in retreat from your teeth</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you watch as Discord now poofed a new set of clothes onto himself in the style of a Dentist with a face mask, white coat and latex gloves</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You should of played along little one, now I have to figure out what you are the fun way.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Whadda you want wid-muepghhh.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you get cut off again as Discord leans close to your face and uses the gloves to forcibly keep open your mouth from the sides</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you try to fight him off you kicking by using your four hooves but alas, your marshmallowy appendages were useless</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you watch helplessly as you can only assume Discord is making funny faces with your lips as if you were putty or something</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hmm, two pairs of canines..&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you whine in pain as Discord forces your mouth even more open then what you would consider possible with what you can only assume is a miniature car tire jack</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're not used to such cartoon physics</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you watch in horror as Discord sticks his head into your mouth as if wanting to take a look down your throat</span><br />&quot;Uggrgh!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you find fur taste disgusting and your eyes begin to tear up from discomfort</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hmmmm, smells like garlic in here. So you're definitely not a vampony.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you gasp in relief as Discord leaves your gullet and you take a quick gasp of air only to feel dread again once you feel something pull your tail</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;si, you want off the ride now per piacere</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you'd bet this Disney cartoon hell you're in is directed by Tim Burton</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're lifted up from your tail by Discord's talon claw and are now hanging upside down</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you shake in fear as a little black storm cloud emitting static forms above you but still below the ceiling</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Just one more experiment now. This should only sting for a moment if you're a normal pony.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Mama mia, he is watching you expectantly with a devilish grin!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've watched enough cartoons as a kid to know where this is going</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you want to raise a white flag</span><br />&quot;Per f-favore non-n, ah-I surrendurra! I-I talk! I TALK!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;but your pleads go unheard as a small jolt of lightning cracks and hits you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you feel nothing from it, but for a moment you swear you could see the pastel colored skeleton of your horse body and you suddenly have a bit of a sharp headache</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Immune to metamorphoses but only resistant to magic, hmmm.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Discord then flips you around and holds you up as if you were Simba from lion king or something</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well aren't you a very special little pegasus colt. That wasn't TOO bad now, was it?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;why did this merda always HAVE to happen to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hear footsteps, no hoof-steps running down the stairway</span><br />&quot;I-is everything alright!? I-I thought I heard yelling, then lightning, then I just-EPPP!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;both you and Discord turn your attention towards the source of that commotion</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your soggy eyes see what you think is angel horse from before standing a few feet away from you and Discord</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you watch the yellow cartoon pegasus with pink mane gasp, then puffs her cheeks before shouting a single phrase like an angry siren</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;D-DISCORD!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hear noting but eerie quiet for a few seconds</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;then you began to suddenly feel wet all over your lower body followed by a dripping sound</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;mi scappa la pipi, papa</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh! Myy...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you were a half-sobbing, shaking, poofy mess of a little pegasus and now peed yourself aswell as on the cottage's wood pastel colored floor</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've done this all while still being held up by Discord</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Now Fluttershy, look what you've done to the poor colt! I had him COMPLETELY under control. Now you've gone and made him pee himself by terrifying him.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can't wake up inside</span></div></div>
</div><h3><span class="mw-headline" id="Adventures_Of_Anontonio_Day_1b">Adventures Of Anontonio Day 1b</span><a href="Adventures_Of_Anontonio_Day#/editor/3" title="Edit section: Adventures Of Anontonio Day 1b" data-section="3" class="edit-page icon icon-32px icon-edit enabled">Edit</a></h3><div>
<div dir="ltr" class="mw-geshi mw-code mw-content-ltr"><div class="gettext source-gettext">&#160;<br />The following &quot;Adventures of Anontonio in Equestria&quot; is a story for Dadonequus threads or Discord Dad General on /mlp/<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;day cazzo you had an accident and are regaining consciousness</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;be Anontonio</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;boy does your head hurt</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your mama always told you that you should wear a helmet when driving on your Vespa in the hills</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but you didn't listen, you're no bambino</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you always preferred your flatcap anyways</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Little -olt, ---tle colt! Ohhh, I -ope he's a-rig--...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;some soft spoken angel's voice is calling out to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wait, that's not Italian</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;owch, ayyy</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;nevermind the head, your everything hurts</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;at least it means you survived</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're not in the next life yet</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;-alm do-n dear -lutt-rshy, ou- little guest -eems t- be commin- too.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;another foreign, yet quirky voice responds</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you begin to recognize some of those words</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you half-assed your way through English classes in high school</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you faintly start to put together the cause of the accident in your head</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you where on the job delivering pizza</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;out of nowhere while driving you were blinded by some oval shaped light and then nothing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;foreigners must of blinded you with their high beams and hit you with their car</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;no way you'll be able to collect on that tip now</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;damn tourists</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you faintly hear munching sounds followed by the quirky voice again</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ah but Fluttershy, look the picnic isn't ALL ruined. Forget about the colt for a moment and try some of this pizza! It's thin and toasty with a delicious unique pungent flavor.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your hearing becomes clearer</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;pizza?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;after suffering through an accident, these foreigners are enjoying YOUR delivery</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;like hell were you going to stand for that without payment</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Now Discord, I hardly--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you cut off the angel before she could rebuke</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your eyelids angrily force open and you, in your best english you can muster shout</span><br />&quot;LETTA GO OV MAI PIZZA, TIEVS!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;10/10, surely you got your message across</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You see before you what you can only imagine are are a pair of pastel colored pupazzos looking down at you with a pastel colored sky just above</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;one of a shocked horse and the other, a smug snake-like being</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;probably stiched with whatever spare parts the plushie factory had left over and still munching on YOUR pizza</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you think you're either hallucinating from some heavy medication after the accident or that you're trapped in one very strange nightmare</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you notice something pastel colored covering your nose and you reach out to touch it with your hand</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but instead you see this flat circular fluffy nub howeveing from the extension of your now fluffy pastel colored arm</span><br />&quot;Auurgh!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you yelp in horror as you instinctively bring your other hand to bare with your face only to realize that another nub appears and you yelp once more</span><br />&quot;Aaaauuurghhh!!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you focus on getting your upper body up form your laid down back position to get a better look at yourself</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;W-we didn't mean to-&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you instinctively cut off angel horse in another yelp as you observe your body</span><br />&quot;Aaaruuughhhaghhrr!?!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;your legs have the same nubs at the end instead of feet</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you have a tail currently covering your privates which you REALLY don't want to think about right now</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you have these two feathery appendages sticking out of your back, wings?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your face has some sort of muzzle and you're fluffy all over</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;never in your wildest dreams have you ever thought you could get THIS hairy, or so you thought</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what are you supposed to be, some kind of magical talking donkey plush?!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you begin to shake</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Now now, no need to get rude little one. If you &quot;really&quot; want it back, you can have it.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you just notice the Trogdor look-a-like with an ass's head is sitting on a pastel shaded vespa</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a vespa that eerily resembles the one you use to deliver pizza right down to the decals and pizza boxes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you then watch in shock as it regurgitates the pizza it ate onto it's lion's paw and the slice rematerializes as if it was never chewed to begin with</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you cringe as you watch it put the slice back into one of the open pizza boxes and ass-face speaks up again</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;There, was that so bad?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;mortal men like you were not meant to witness such things</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can't wake up</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can't unsee</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you want off this hell</span><br />&quot;AAAAUUUURRGHHURAAAHHH!?!!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you yell one last time and pass out</span><br /><br />Bonus to my readers: A fellow writer, Erf made a Vocaroo of the end of this chapter. I had a good laugh listening to my own writing red, so I though I'd share it. Link here: http://vocaroo.com/i/s0JN9mEWCUmv<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Week time sure flys in horseland</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;be Anontonio, embracer of night and master of Zs</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;fiery rays of luminescent hell peek through a crack in the makeshift blinds and over your closed eyelids</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you instinctively rustle under the covers of your bed, clenching fabric with your teeth to keep you in the sweet embrace of darkness</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the song-birds chirps slowly lull you back to sleep almost as if a lullaby was constantly played for you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you feel like you don't have a worry in the world</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;there is no need to go to work</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;there is no chores to be done or expenses paid</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;there are no crazy magic talking horses trying to make you do crazy magic horse things</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;there is only sleep</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;there is only pace</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it is a peaceful respite for you-</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;pat pat pat pat</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you feel a familiar light stomp-like tapping over you from beyond the covers</span><br />&quot;N-nnon, Mama!? Ancora cinque m-minuti..&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you plead in your muffled voice as curl up tighter rejecting what the outside world could offer over your little shade of heaven</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;DIRIRING-A-DRING-A-RING-A-DRING---GRING&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your hoof instantly pokes out of the covers and makes contact with the alarm clock with the force and strength of a thousand spicy gnocchi</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hear a muffled dinging sound in the distance and the tapping weight that was on you seems to have gone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;excellent, back to your peaceful state of quiet rest and relaxation</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the weight suddenly returns and so does that awful ringing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;DRING-A-RING-A!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you release your fore-hoof again in hopes to silence the invading mechanical abomination to your fortress of blissful ignorance, but the weight bounced to another spot over you out of its reach</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;BLING-A-BLING-A!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you release your other fore-hoof in attempt to knock it of off, but the weight just hopped out of your reach once more as if taunting you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you groan in annoyance and begin simply flailing about underneath the covers</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you swung your head, kicked with your hooves, flapped with your wings, whipped your tail, tossed and turned</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but despite your thrashing, your efforts never succeeded in knocking away the alarm as it kept dodging your limbs</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've had enough of this merda</span><br />&quot;O-okaaay, who-a dares wake da lupo!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you begrudgingly toss the covers off you and stand ready to face the sorry birichino who woke you from your peaceful slumber</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;before you stands the one Fluttershy called &quot;Angel Bunny&quot; with a smug, almost pleased look on his stupid little bobble head face over your reaction and all while tapping at the clock with his paw</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this rabbit was no &quot;Angel&quot; to you, if anything the opposite, you'd bet that if ass-face didn't exist that this bunny is Lucifer itself</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you calmed your emotions for a moment and eyed in the general direction of the clock</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it showed no lines or numbers, just a large arrow and small arrow indicating that it should be around 10:30 if it's anything similar to earth hours</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you don't know how time zones work in magical talking horse world</span><br />&quot;Ay see, I overrslept did-en't ayy..&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you turn around and stretch your legs as Devil bunny looks at you with a puzzled expression as if expecting an entirely different reaction from you and is contemplating how well you're taking this</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;AND HE'S RIGHT TO</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;as if getting ready to pounce you slowly turn your neck to bring you face to face the meat</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your half closed eyes bloodshot and with a rage filled gaze, your large cartoon pupil twinkled with mischievous intent, if you had any veins in your forehead, they'd most definitely be shown pumping now and you muzzle giving a sly grin just large enough to show the tips of your canines</span><br />&quot;DON BREAK-A MY BALLS BUNNY!!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;the meat begins to turn around expecting a chase</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but that wasn't your intent</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;with your fore hooves already in firm position, you buck with all your pent up Italian rage and send Angel flying along with the held alarm clock</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;eeeeeeeeeeeee&quot;</span><br />&quot;I WAKE-A UP WHEN AYY WAND TO PORCO DIAVOLO!!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Angel flew into the blinds and smashes through the window with a crash</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAALLLLLL-</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;solar rays of immense burning discomfort washes over your once giddy face</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your pupils immediately construct, you instinctively turn your head away and cover your vision with a hoof full of shade while hissing in displeasure</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you bet that magic pony &quot;princess&quot; with that fat sunny ass is behind this</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;somewhere in magic horse land an Alicon Princess sitting on her throne while going about her daily court duties sneezes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;A-anon, is everything alright?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;well, there is no point in going back to sleep now</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stretch on the bed and give out a long yawn as Fluttershy enter the living room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she gives you a concerned look</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;O-oh I knew, I heard something.. Anontonio, I was worried you'd overslept. You're going to be late for your first day of school!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;school?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;catzo, do you really need horse education? You've already graduated</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy eyes go wide over the broken window next to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;When did this happen, was it always broken?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you reply with another disinterested yawn and half closed eyes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy frowns as she observes some glass fragments on the floor</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I guess I'll have to stop by Applejack's kiosk and ask if she can patch this up later. I wouldn't want anypony catching a cold.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she begins backpeddling and sweeping the debris into a corner with her tail</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;neat, but you wouldn't want glass in your hair</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Have seen Angel? I'm positive that I've asked him to wake in case you overslept.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the bunny? That little devil's could be spending the day picking &quot;carrots&quot; out of from his culo for all you care</span><br />&quot;Angel? Si, I'mma looking right at her-a.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you say, facing Fluttershy with a smug grin</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy's wings rustled and she seemed flustered for a moment</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anontonio, we had this talk already. I told you to call me Fluttershy or miss Fluttershy, not angel horse.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;10outta10, question averted</span><br />&quot;Si, si. Whadevar you say-a miss angel horse.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Flittershy frowned</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Also remember what Princess Celestia told you, We are ponies, not horses.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You also remember asking if ponies have free speech under her rule, which is a yes and it also helps that everyone thinks you're a child despite your protests.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not that you care much about Sunbutt's rule anyways, the only thing she's done for you was get Assface temporarely off your back and force you to agree to a set of conditions to find you a suitable foster home.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what's that?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you wish to recall the specific details of your agreement with the horse sun goddess?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;too bad, you're too tired for such deep thinking</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;perhaps if the subject ever gets brought up, you'll think about it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy stops what she's doing and approaches you smiling with dreamy eyes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh merda, why the sudden change of tune</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;from your experience, when Italian women suddenly change tune towards this quickly it's usually a sign of them having a cunning idea or you're in for some sort of wooping</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hope mares are different</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you feel uneasy and lean back away from her</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anontonio.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she says as she comes closer to you with now dreamy eyes you do not feel comfortable receiving while on a bed</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this is some kind of next level mental horse hypnosis, you can tell</span><br />&quot;Seeing as you'll be late anyways, why don't you get ready for school while I clean this up so we can go together?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;what, together?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but you don't want to go</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you want to sleep somewhere shady</span><br />&quot;Whad? Why can't ay just go by myselfa!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well um, seeing you always sleep in gives me the impression that you'll just get lost and fall asleep somewhere.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you cringe from her realization</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this horse</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this horse right here</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've lived with her for about a week and she already knows you too well</span><br />&quot;Do ayy hav to? I'm a-a foreignerr. Besides, ay hav gotten diploma already ay sweara!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you begged not to go, at least you think you did with your new pegasus body by lowering your head and keeping your forhooves together</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy frowned again upon finding out her intuition was correct and gave you a stern stare</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;catzo</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your gaze was frozen, facing hers</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you were right to assume this was some sort of mind game</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anon!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she said in a more assertive and commanding tone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you gulp, still frozen in the siren's trance</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Even if I believed that were the case, I happen to know that even colts in Itaily go to schools until they graduate as productive stallions for society.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;that's right, you've been told by Celestia that there is a continent to the east of Equestria with a country named Itaily in the middle of an inland sea known as the Mareditermaneian with the capital of Roam that speak your native language</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;with added horse puns of course</span><br />Just thinking up these, drove me crazy.<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Besides.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy picks you up off the bed with her forehooves and drops you gently standing on your 4 hooves onto the floor</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You'll learn to read and write an, ohh, oh of course, you'll make friends and play with many other colts and fillies of your age!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she says with a more excitable tone</span><br />&quot;Ayy'm an adul-&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;DOSEN'T THAT SOUND LIKE FUN?!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she cuts off your retort and beams at you with a wide smile</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;shaken, you groan and just accept your fate</span><br />&quot;F-fine, ayyy'll a-go get ready...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;a victorious squee, rubber duck-like noise can be heard coming from her as you turned around and choose not to question it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you make your way towards and up the stairs one by one</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;once you've reached the peak you take a left, enter the washroom and slam the door shut behind you to vent some frustration</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you patter into the shower booth, close the curtains behind you and boop the shower lever on</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;yes magic horses have plumbing and showers</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it's very cold mind you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;shivering from initial contact, you'd think you we're covered in wet snow on the alps or something</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;still it's not all bad, you've always liked to keep your self groomed and looking your best for any occasion</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;probably your fault anyways since you've woken up so late and all the warm water was used</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you try to ignore it with some singing</span><br />&quot;Lasciatemi cantare~&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you let the water pour over you evenly as you twirl in a circle in your happy tune</span><br />&quot;Con la chitarra in mano~&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dio mio, do you sure miss you hands</span><br />&quot;Lasciatemi cantare<br />una canzone piano, piano..&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;feeling your coat sufficiently soggy and your mane rinsed you stand on your rear legs to be able to reach a shampoo bottle on the counter</span><br />&quot;Lasciatemi cantare~&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you clamp your fore-hooves together to clutch the bottle and let the shampoo splurge onto your mane, back and tail</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've only been here for about 2 weeks and you've already realized how much you took your figure and arms for granted living the life of a stubby little horse for daily mundane things like being able to brush your teeth</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you drop the bottle and slowly but methodically scrub yourself clean one hoof at a time</span><br />&quot;Perche ne sono fiero!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stand on your rear legs again to see what else you can use from the counter and notice your nemesis</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a bar of soap</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you narrow your eyes in determination</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;be lucifer himself</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;no you mean rabbit ragu</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;BE ANGEL BUNNY</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're certain you've spent too much time living with Anontonio</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you tolerated that blasted little wop for too long</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not that you were trying...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;BUT STILL!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this be YOUR cottage</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy be YOUR caretaker</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE FAVORITE</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;and you're certain you still have some glass shards lodged in your furry little tush</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh, but your suffering ends today</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;OHHHH YES, you've got a carrot with you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;no, not just any carrot</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've sharpened this carrot with all your lust for revenge, so you're certain it's pointy enough to impale that marshmallow</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;THAT'S RIGHT YOU'RE GONNA STAB HIM WITH IT!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can listen to him sing the song of his people in the shower from outside the cottage</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;good he's distracted, it will be the last tune he chirps</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hop onto the second floor ledge and as silently as you can open the bathroom port window. Tip toe inside on your paws, and close it behind you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wouldn't want anypony important to hear the deed as anything other then horrid singing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stealthly leap down onto the washroom floor under the ambiance of the running shower water and slowly inch your way closer to the shower's curtains like some kind of a ninja</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a ninja turtle</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;who says bunny's can't be slow and steady when assassinating an unsuspecting foal</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;NOT YOU THAT'S WHO</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Perche ne sono fiero!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're now close enough to see your shadow on the curtains</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;fortunately for you your prey has currently turned his back towards you and is preoccupied with the contents of the counter</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you grin and maliciously drool at the perfect opportunity before you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;standing on your back legs you carefully open the curtain entrance to the side with your left paw and slowly raise your right paw wielding the carrot in preparation for the stabbing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;THIS IS IT!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Sono un Italiaaaaa-NNOOOOOOOOOONNNN!?!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;be Anontonio</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you recoil back, flutter your wings and scramble your fore-hooves</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;that damned soap bar just won't stay in your grasp</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;trying to clench it with both hooves, it slips out of your clutches as you attempt to stop juggling it around</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;and there's no way in hell you're going to use your mouth</span><br />&quot;MA VAFFANCULO SAPONE E CHE TI HA FATTO!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;even IF you acknowledge being a potty-mouth</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;getting impatient you attempt to catch it with a clamping motion of both your wings in front of you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;instead this sends you reeling back onto your plot and launches the soap at incredible speed as it continuously ricochets about in the shower</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you duck and cover your eyes as the ballistic soap misses your head by a hair</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hear a crash and then quiet</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you lift your head and notice the soap is gone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;w-well, it's not like you wanted to smell your b-best anyways!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Stupid slippery soap bars and stupid hooves...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not that you expected your wings to emit that much force either</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you swear that soap bar had the velocity of a bloody cannon shell or something</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it could of killed you</span><br />&quot;Un... Italiano.. Vero.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you finish your little tune, panting and boop the shower water lever off</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you exit the shower to dry yourself and step on what seems to be a carrot</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you ponder for a moment, why would Angel horse have a peeled carrot on the washroom floor</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a sudden thought comes to you and you blush</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh, OH!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you quickly look for something else, not wanting to think further on magic talking horse anatomy</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you notice the washroom window is busted</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you assume the ballistic soap is perhaps miles away by now</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you sigh and finish drying yourself, also you succeeded to manually comb your mane back with your wings while it's still wet</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you would kill for some hands and hair gel right about now</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Come on down Anon, I've got your saddlebag ready!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you groan, remembering that you still have to go to magic horse elementary school today</span><br />&quot;Si, si, ayy'm on da wayy!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you exit the washroom and make your way down</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Angel horse was already waiting for you by the exit next to what seemed a white double sided knapsack abomination</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wait, you notice she was wearing something similar too on her back</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Come on over here Anon, so I can put this saddlebag on you back and we can get going.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Do ayy really hav' to wear ZAT!?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you point in disgust towards the knapsack abomination</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy scowls disapproving at your snobbish attitude and sternly stares towards you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes, every young colt and filly wears a saddlebag to school and so will you mister.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Ok, ok, I get it! I'll wear zis abominio difettoso!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you groan and make you way to Fluttershy and let her strap the saddlebag onto you back, just behind your wings</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;great</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;now you were not only a horse, but a working horse only a week after mastering walking</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;like a horse</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not that the weight was too much for you and it surprisingly fit your marshmallow pony anatomy well</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, it's only been about a week and already you look like a colt ready to be sent off for your first day of school, I'm so proud!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;n-not that you'll ever admit it tho</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've got your own pride</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy motioned you to exit while keeping while covering her expression with one hoof in what can only now be described as a happy yet close to sobby state</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;as you exit you avert your gaze for a moment to your old Vespa leaning on the porch</span><br />&quot;So-a, 'ow long befor we arrive?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ponyville is only a good 10 minute trot away, but knowing you're pace it'll take 20 minutes. Oh I know, how about a race? I'm not the fastest pony around. Betch'ya can beat be if you just try!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wow, Angel horse REALLY wants to see you get excited for this</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;however you don't share her enthusiasm or care</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've already had your share of schooling growing up back on earth</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;besides</span><br />&quot;If ayy'm going to be late anyways, ayy may as well be fashionably late and...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you sigh then momentarily point back towards the Vespa for Fluttershy as you pace with her</span><br />&quot;If I could be able to ride that oversized scooter in mai current state, ayy'd be able to get zere in less zan <span class="nu0">5</span> minutes presto!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;bushes suddenly rustled behind you along your path but dismissed it as merely one of Fluttershy's many wild pets going about their business</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, well I'm sure you'll be happy to know that once you learn to fly that you'll be able to match speed in no time.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Angel horse's adamant cheery attempts to suggest to you to always look towards the future positively has left a modest but tiny smile on you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you try your best to be less argumentative with her untill you reach Ponyville</span><br />&quot;So-a, what's in mai saddlebag?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;School supplies, a pair of textbooks, a pair of bits and the lunch I prepared for you.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you turn your neck around enough momentarily to sniff at your saddlebag but don't find any distinct smell other then that of text book</span><br />&quot;What's for lunch?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, my specialty. Cucumber and daisy sandwiches!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You turn your head away from here and gag in disgust</span><br />&quot;I zink ayy'd be able to find more taste in an English muffin.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you mutter</span><br />&quot;What was that?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;not currently wanting to argue with your caretaker about obviously inferior horse &quot;food&quot;, you quickly change subject</span><br />&quot;Sooo, ey tell me about-a your first day in school.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I-if your really want to know. I mean, it was so long ago.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Si, ayy do.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you really don't</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, when I was a little filly the first thing that happened that morning after waking up was opening my window completely to be greeted by the sun and darling birds blah blah, blah blah blah, blah blah...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this is going to be a long 10 minutes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you seem to be closer to the Ponyville's center some 15 minutes later</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;pacing behind a babbling Fluttershy, completely oblivious to your disregard of her times at school</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the trip wasn't all fruitless to you however</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've discovered a use for your wings</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;using the tips as ear plugs, it helped you drown out this mare's voice</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not that Fluttershy has ever caught your disinterest</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;whenever she looked back to make sure you kept up, you feigned whistling a tune, playing innocent and answering with the occasional &quot;Si si.&quot; or &quot;Oh really?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she seemed to be fairly excited to share her experience</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you almost feel bad for her</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;almost</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she suddenly turns to face an off-guard you with a cheerful smile and proclaims</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We've arrived!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you sweat as you quickly put on an act of you cleaning out your ears with your wings for a moment</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Uhm Anontonio, are you listening?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Ehh, si si! Ayy was just cleaning out my ears-a, I zink some wader remain from showering.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you take a look around you avoiding the conversation further</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're now standing in what seems to be a market square, bustling with ponies of all kinds and colors going about their day</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can even distinguish some of the goods on sale despite their alien yet simple pastel colored shapes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you see baked good stands, kitchen appliance stands, tool stands, fruits and vegetable stands as far as your oversized horse eyes can see</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anon? Anontonio, this is your first time at the marketplace isn't it.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Si, ayy guess.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy points a fore-hoof towards an apple stand-wagon with a familiar orange mare wearing a cowboy hat pitching to sell apples</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'll be over there talking with Applejack for a moment, I know how excited you are to see Ponyville but you've still got to go to school. I'll let you explore the market place but stay close to the market square within my line of sight, ok?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Va bene, ayy'll look around.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you nod and trot towards a more opening in the market yet still in the limits Angel horse's sight</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you trot up to a cherry stand with a stern looking tan pegasus stallion wearing a cap and bow-tie manning it</span><br />&quot;Ughh ciao, do you sell cherrys?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes we do lil' colt! I saw you walkin up 'ere, eyeing the goods. Why, tell me is that yellow pegasus mare waving over there your mommy?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you turn momentarily and see Fluttershy waving mid conversation with the apple mare in acknowledgement of your position</span><br />&quot;Non non, she's actually my legal guardian-&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, have I got a special offer for you little colt!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the tan stallion cuts you off, pulls your head closer with his hoof and with a sly grin begins whispering in your ear</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Just for you, a special price! I'll sell a half-dozen cherries for a measly, oh I dunno 30 bits.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he then lets you go, expectantly waiting for a reply</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, waddya say colt?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you rub the back of your head in annoyance</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this confuses you, yet at the same time you have a gut feeling that something wasn't quite right here</span><br />&quot;Bitz? What are zese bitz you speak of?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;the stallion groans and rolls his eyes at you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Figures HER colt wouldn't even know about bits.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he mutters ignorant of you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ugh I just realized we don't serve foals, please come back when you've got bits with you.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you scowl as the stallion shoos you away dismissively</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;rude</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it's not your fault you don't know magic horse land customs</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you didn't even WANT to taste an alien pastel colored cherry</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;I-idiota!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you move along to the next stand with a big and dumb looking stallion with a scruffy mane manning it</span><br />&quot;Whad do you sell 'ere?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;the stallion answer with a goofy yet bluntly honest tone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Screws and screw accessories.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Zat it?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yep, just about. We got some nails and hammers inna back too.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you never would of guessed this horse with a screw loose seriously makes a living selling screws and nails at a stand</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you immediately remember the busted windows back at Fluttershy's cottage</span><br />&quot;You know~&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you point at Fluttershy and the apple mare with a hood</span><br />&quot;I zink zose ponies over zere may be in need-a of some nails. You should ask zem!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Gee, thanks colt! I'll go do that!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you watch the stallion leave his stall unattended and trek towards the mares</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wow, he's really trusting of you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you observe the vulnerable goods of the stall but find nothing of real interest to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;figures there's nothing you could even use except for maybe a hammer</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not that you'd take it anyways</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're not grabbing anything with your horse mouth</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you aren't some dirty animal peasant</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've been spoon-fed soup like a king for over a week already by Angel horse!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the soup could be better though</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you don't think you could go another week &quot;tolerating&quot; tomato soup</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;just because you have canines doesn't make you a vampire</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;or does it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you realize you still know very little of your current horse biology</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;perhaps going to school won't be so bad</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;perhaps you'll also be able to educate the uncultured horses on minestrone and cream soups in the near future</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you move on to the next stand</span><br />&quot;Whad do you sell?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;a unicorn mare with a bun mane and board expression answer with a sarcastic and grainy tone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What's it look like I'm selling!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you observe the stall and see nothing but rows of brooms, brooms for days</span><br />&quot;Brooms?<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Brooms, wanna buy!&quot;</span><br />&quot;For whad are they magic? Canna I ride on zem and fly like a strega or somezing?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No that's silly, they sweep. You got any bits!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;well EXCUSE ME how are you supposed to know magic horse land doesn't have magic brooms</span><br />&quot;Whad are bitz!?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Look colt!&quot; she says in a coarse tone &quot;You're wasting my time. If you're a foreigner that hasn't got any bits, then scram!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're angry</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you don't have to take this from this puttana</span><br />&quot;FINE!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you shout in a quaking tone, a third of the market's eyes on you and they all probably heard you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the mare before you visibly wide eyed and shocked</span><br />&quot;AN WHILE YOUR-A AT IT, VATTENE A SCOPARE WIZ YOUR BROOM, FICA!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stomp away angrily, leaving the shaking cunt hiding behind her stall</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you have half a mind to get that hammer and just to whack some respect into her</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you didn't expect to find so many stronzos in magic horse land besides donkey face</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ey colt, non e bello a parlare di altri in quello modo, lo sai?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a taunting yet cheery, girly voice calls out to you before a momentary giggle</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your eyes go wide and you stop moving, trying to register what you've just heard spoken</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;did some PONY just call out to you in your native language!?!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ey colt, chi ti ha insegnato a usare quelle parole cattive?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;another girly voice calls out to you, this one more reserved and cautious</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you begin to turn your attention to the source of the voices</span><br /><br />Continues in Adventures of Anontonio Day 11b: http://pastebin.com/bFE4WWXM<br /><br />I'm going to add music or theme references and translations at the bottom from now on:<br /><br />Shower L'Italiano song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVHvaKo15Pw<br />Angel Bunny's Shower perspective: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Me-VhC9ieh0<br /><br />Line # &amp; word translation, Italian to English:<br /><br /><span class="nu0">15</span>: No mom, another <span class="nu0">5</span> minutes.<br />merda = shit/poop/crap<br />lupo = wolf<br />birichino = little imp/mischievous/troublesome<br />porco diavolo = swine devil/dastardly pig<br />catzo = cock<br />ragu = a ground up meat sauce used often with pasta<br /><span class="nu0">188</span>: Go fuck yourself soap as well as whom ever made you.<br />abomnio = abomination<br />difettoso = defective<br />Vespa = a two stroked engine, seated and aluminum scooter made in Italy.<br />Va bene = very well/ok/all good/everything's fine<br />idiota = idiot<br />strega = witch<br />puttana = whore<br />minestrone = An Italian soup involving stock, vegetables and sometimes pasta<br /><span class="nu0">356</span>:And while you're at it why don't you go sweep with your broom, cunt! <span class="br0">&#40;</span>In Italian to sweep also means to fuck. So Anontonio is telling the broom mare to go fuck herself with her broom.<span class="br0">&#41;</span><br /><span class="nu0">360</span>: Ey colt, it's not nice to talk about others in that way/fashion, you know?<br /><span class="nu0">364</span>: Ey colt, who taught you to use such bad words/language?<br />Continued from: http://pastebin.com/84aS5ubm<br /><br />&quot;Chi chiede?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you call out, demanding a response while trying to discern the source of these voices</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Noi, chi vendiamo il piu maturo e piu dolce di pere, che si sciolgono sulla punta della tua lingua!&quot; answers the excited and cheery voice</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Si noi, che vendiamo i piu succosi di prugne sul nostro piccolo mercato modesto.&quot;a cat</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've never met another pony in horseland with that feature before</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;then again you've never met another pony in horse land that could speak with you in Italian besides Princess Sunnybuns</span><br />&quot;Voi due mi capisci?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Mmmhmmmmmm&quot; say the fillies in unison</span><br />&quot;E voi vendete i frutti?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Only the most plump of prunes, dear customer. They're a bit each.&quot; says the purple one, taking the lead</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Only the most succulent of pears, dear customer! Would you like to buy one cheap?&quot; says the tan pegasus as she begins to seem a little anxious to you, but keeps up her cheery disposition</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you may not know pony culture, but still you didn't expect something close to to child labor</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;fillies are horse children, right?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;why else would Angel horse and the other adult ponies you've spoken with so far not take you seriously otherwise while stating you as a colt?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;and from what you've come to understand from Angel horse is that young ponies go to school</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what are bitz?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;why are they speaking to you in English now?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;many questions run through your mind to ask these fillies that you can actually WANT to converse with for once</span><br />&quot;Tutto da soli alla tua eta? E, come ti chiami voi stessi?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you continue asking in Italian, unknowingly every time in a more inquisitive tone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you get the strange feeling that some ponies in the surrounding market are exchanging odd glances over your conversation</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the fillies ignore your question, turn towards each other and hold each others fore-hooves before muttering something to each other</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Pera~ Pera~ We just met this colt and already he's asking so many questions.&quot; states the purple one</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Prugna~ Prugna~ But this colt we just met may have come fresh off the boat!&quot; exclaims the tan pegasus</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a naive attempt to keep a conversation hidden from your prying horse ears</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you eavesdrop easily since your hearing is much more potent as a pony then when you were human</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;to think YOU of all people would find a boon from being turned into a magic talking horse</span><br />&quot;Ayy canna hear you, lo sai? Answer me, whad are bitz! We talking bitz of focaccia 'ere or whad?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You see? He has a saddlebag prepped for school and he doesn't even know what bits are for!&quot; says the tan one to the purple one as they both turn to face you again</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You see, bits is the name of the coin currency used to trade with here in Equestria.&quot; answers the purple one, obviously addressing you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the two fillies quickly trot up to you, catching you off guard as your wings stiffen in surprise</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm Pera, Sweet Pera!&quot; says the tan pegasus</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;And you may call me, Prugna.&quot; exclaims the purple one</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, don't be so SOUR sis!&quot; taunts Pera light heartedly followed by a short giggle</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;... I told you not to call me that.&quot; Prugna replies bluntly as a faint blush appears on her cheeks</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you watch frozen, trying to process the scene before you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We're twins! Now what's your name, peachy face?&quot; Pera ask between giggling in a mocking tone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We sell fruits here. Now why don't you introduce yourself?&quot; Prugna adds</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;get it together Anon they're just some clingy fillies</span><br />&quot;Ayyy-ughmm, I'm Anontonio. Anon for short-a.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ciao Anon, want to be friends?&quot; asked Pera</span><br />&quot;Ehh, sure? V-va bene!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you owed the twins at least some courtesy in response to answering your question about bits and they we're actually kind of nice company to talk to</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;especially compared to the older market cornuti you've met so far</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ciao Anon, aren't you on your way to school?&quot; asked Prugna</span><br />&quot;Si, actually ayya wanted to ask why you two are not at school?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, we're low on bits currently! Besides, me and Prugna's hours are rever~eeep!&quot; said Pera excitedly moments before Prugna plugged her sister's big mouth shut with a fore-hoof</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What Pera ment to say is that we're home schooled and enjoy the time we spend together living off the fruits of our labor.&quot; explained Prugna</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;these fillies seem to have something to hide from you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you, knowing that you still have to go school today, could care less and decide not to press into it</span><br />&quot;Well, ayy better get-a going. Ayy'm already late for school and Angel horse is probably don~&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Wait!&quot; interrupted Pera as you where about to turn around and walk away</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Wait?&quot; proclaimed Prugna with a slight hint of confusion in her tone</span><br />&quot;Eh?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Pera hesitated in front of the chuck wagon and grabbed a nice looking pear with her dextrous looking wing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your jaw dropped, your mouth remained open for a moment</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you didn't know wings could do that!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;does this mean you yourself could possibly use your wings as a replacement for fingers?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;why didn't Fluttershy tell you they can be used like hands?!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;while you where day dreaming about all the things you could do with winglers, she trotted up to your left and slipped a pear into your left saddlebag pocket</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Too remember our friendship by! Promise to come play with us sometime and use your bits to buy a pear for lunch!&quot; says Pera before giving you a small peck on the left cheek to wake you from your trance and giggling at your dumbfounded expression</span><br />&quot;Huh? Ehh, grazie mille! I promise.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;what did you just promise this filly?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;also...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;WERE YOU JUST KISSED BY A LITTLE HORSE!?!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you were just joking about that with Fluttershy</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;and why are your wings stiff?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you want to master using them like hands!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;perhaps you can ask Pera or some pegasus to teach you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hear a shuffling coming from the saddlebag to your right side</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you turn your head only to see Prugna breathing heavily about an inch away from your face causing you to lean your head back from this sudden invasion of your personal space</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I too left you something for those canines to chew on.&quot;</span><br />&quot;G-grazie?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you answer slightly intimidated</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Whoa there A-non, you stay back from those fillies!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;che cosa?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you turn around to see Fluttershy and that familiar apple mare with a cowboy hat trot towards you from behind</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I-is something wrong Applejack? Did these fillies do something to Anon!&quot; injected angel horse in her confused but worried tone as she trotted around you and inspecting you for non-existent bruises</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Nah, but they likely wer' gonna! Good thing ah stepped in.&quot; �explained apple horse proudly</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What!? We would do no such thing to our new friend! Tell her Anontonio!&quot; shouted Pera with her cheeks now puffing in anger</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Wh-what? Uh, yes. We did not harm this colt...&quot; stated Prugna in a more reserved and hesitant tone</span><br />&quot;Y-yes, Pera and Prugna 'ave done nozing but be kind to me and-a even gave me free fruita!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you clear up hoping to end this strange misunderstanding</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh? How kind of-&quot; said Angel horse more relieved before being cut off</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What? Did ah just hear ya calling each other by yer first name!? Best you forget about them an, throw away that second hand fruit!&quot; shouted apple horse</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;are you missing something here?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Our pears and prunes are grown with all our amore and hard work-a.&quot; replied Pera while shaking one of her fore-hooves angrily</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hear her accent slip for the first time</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;just how dedicated could she be to hide it without ever going to school you wonder</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Our pears and prunes are freshly picked. You are the rotten apple here Applejack.&quot; zinged Prugna completely monotone but now with an unmoving glare</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Why ah otta! Why else would you sell em so cheap then, huh? You no-paper ay-liens should close shop an' return wit your wagon tuh dat pizza-place of yers were yah belong!&quot; argued Applehack</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;APPLEJACK, how could you! They're just fillies!&quot; stated Fluttershy appalled at her friend's rudeness</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh yea, Applejack was her name, like that one American cereal for bambini</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it's forgettable to you for some reason</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What? These ayy-tail-lians are big fillies an illegal hustlers! They only be here 'cause of their family connec-tion. Ah'm just looking out for young A-non is all.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wow you didn't know Applejack could be such a stronza</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not only is she now pinning this on you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;where was she when you were dealing with those cornuti broom and cherry sales-ponies?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;and did she just insult your people too?!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're angry again</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;AYY AM ITALIANO TOO AND-A AM ALSO ALIEN YOU PUTRIDA MELA E CAFONE!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You're a different kind of ay-lien, A-non an' quit yer fancy-speak. This here be 'questria, speak Equestrian. Sweet Celestia, Tis a good thing she decreed that you git a proper ed-ucation here!&quot; says Applesack dismissive of your comment, visibly exhausted from arguing with foals</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We should get going, Anon here is late for school.&quot; added Fluttershy, clearly waning the argument to end</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ah agree, 'bout time A-non meets some honest good foals like Applebloom. Might even help him earn his cutie mark. I'll steer him right when it's mah turn as his guardian anyway.&quot; answered Applefat</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;nope</span><br />&quot;LIKE HELLA WILL AYY GO ANYWHERE WI-&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she stuck a motherfucking apple in your mouth, shutting you up mid sentence</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she then picked you up with her powerful filthy jaws by the skin on the back of your neck despite your struggling flapping wings and dropped you over by where Fluttershy was waiting</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're REALLY getting sick of that</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the fruit stall twins sadly watch you get pulled away as you look back to them one more time</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Applejack huffs and returns to her stall without saying another word</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy, feeling a little sorry for you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gives you a push towards the direction of a path with her wing while keeping you from having to face Applejack or the twins for now and you start walking</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm sorry about Applejack, she's honest and does care for you but her traditions or stubbornness sometimes gets in the way.&quot; explained Fluttershy &quot;But, don't worry! I'm sure she'll grow out of it and you'll all be the best of friends in no time.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Mmhmmmm...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you groan sarcastically, scrunching as you still struggle to chew completely through the apple in your mouth</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;if you had a shit list, you're pretty sure you'd rate that illetterata as #2 after donkey-face of course</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you continue walking with Fluttershy to school while slowly breaking through the apple enough to eventually spit on the side of the road in frustration</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;some 5 minutes later, you arrive trailing alongside Fluttershy to what seems to be a fenced schoolhouse with a bell tower atop a grassy hill</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We're here Anon, Ponyville schoolhouse. Excited for your first day of school?&quot; said Fluttershy as she turned to face you with a smile</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you, you were scowling</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you honestly wanted this day to be over so you could do more productive things</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;things that interest you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;like sleeping or figuring out how to use your winglers</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy's smile dimmed a little, her worry was starting to show again to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You're not nervous are you? Everypony gets a little nervous won the first day, even me, but if you just give yourself a little push everything will be fine.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you eye the red wooden building up and down</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;hearts, hearts on the bell tower, hearts atop the window panels, on the skirts of the roofs and on the hands of the clock</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;hearts for days</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;che schifo</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you cringe, the only appealing feature to you was the white picket fence and roof panels reminding you of those made from terra cotta back in your homeland where appealing architecture actually exists</span><br />&quot;I-iz zis a school for fillies?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, is that all?&quot; Fluttershy looked relieved at your question as if expecting you to still be mad about that orange apple horse</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;which you were</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but you'll cross that bridge when you get there</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No, it's an school for both fillies and colts. Come on It'll be fine, I'll help you introduce yourself to the class!&quot; giggled Fluttershy as she gently pushed you along with her wing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you trot up the short wooden steps and Fluttershy opens the door by twisting the tip of her fore hoof with a little push and the classroom inside is revealed to you as you enter</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;~and that class is why Neighton chose carrot to symbolize mass times the change of velocity first divided by time.&quot; explained a grown mare with a cherry pink coat, emerald eyes and a two tone greyish pink poofy mane &quot;Oh, I didn't expect you to come late.&quot; she commented to Fluttershy who was now a little rosy on the cheeks</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;S-sorry wh-we were a little held up this morning at the market.&quot; answered fluttershy in embarrassment</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what was that you were saying giving yourself a push and not being nervous, huh Angel horse?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you thought with a smug smile</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the mare walks up to you and brings her face eye level to your with a cheery smile</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hello there, why aren't you a handsome looking little colt! Why, look that combed mane and those wing! They're so well developed for your age!&quot; greeted the mare</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you honestly have no idea if this horse was babying you, just being kind complimenting you or seriously hitting on you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Everypony please stand, we have a new student who will be joining our class from now on!&quot; shouted the mare to a group of fillies and colts</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes, miss Cheerilee!&quot; answered the students excitingly</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm miss Cheerilee and I'll be your teacher from now on.&quot; explained Cherry-pie now with a hoof to her chest and a proud smile &quot;Care to introduce yourself to the class?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she motioned you to walk in the direction of a small wooden podium probably used for teaching while you where still processing her silly name in your head</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're now standing on a wooden stool with your rear hooves and leaning on the podium with your fore hooves overlooking the class</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this actually isn't as uncomfortable as you expected</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you take in your surroundings</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the &quot;classroom&quot; looked slightly better on in the inside, there where bookshelves, a telescope, a globe, school supplies, a blackboard, white painted walls with green paneling around the windows, one of which seems to be be a stain glass depiction of one of the students there were a dozen slanted desks with ANOTHER heart design carved in them crudely laid out in rows of four, ten of which were occupied, occupied by a fruity colored bunch of little horses that is, the majority of the students seemed to fillies and the floor...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the &quot;floor&quot; is hay, hay as in the merda a cow would eat or in this case a horse</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it made you feel dirty</span><br />&quot;Class? Wher' iz dis-a class? I see no class here!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Uhm, Anon?&quot; injected Fluttershy, knowing of your difficult attitude &quot;This is a classroom, one of which Princess Celestia decreed that you will attend.&quot; now with a little more sternness in her voice</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Celestia!&quot; some fillies interrupted and began whispering among each other before being shushed by miss Cheerilee and simply continued to stare towards you with interest</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Now why don't you finish Introducing yourself to the nice fillies and colts here.&quot; hinted miss Cheerilee</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you thought when you were being covered no expense of your own by some sun goddess horse when you where decreed to go to a school, that it would be at least as classy as her castle</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;damn horse public schools</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;basta Anon, you may as well get this over with</span><br />&quot;Ascolta bene, voi piccoli farfanti!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;He speaks fancy?&quot; interrupted one yellow filly with a red ribbon</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;He must be some kind of foreign noble!&quot; injected another pink filly with a silly tiny tiara atop her mane</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ughh, what's that mean?&quot; asked one tall and lanky mango colored unicorn colt with a dumb expression on his face</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh right, this is horse-America</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you guess most young ponies don't understand Italian like those twins from the market</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what a shame</span><br />&quot;It MEANS shut your-a trap and let me continue, cornuto!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What's a corn-auto?&quot; interrupts another unicorn colt, this one light blue, short, fat and stubby with who seemed to contrast in color with that first unicorn colt</span><br />&quot;YOU ARE! NO MORE-A QUESTIONS UNTIL AYY FINISH!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;as you shout some cracks form on the edges of the windows soon followed by you slamming the podium with one of your hooves</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the classrooms becomes quietly tame now, all eyes fixed on you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy taps your shoulder</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you turn your neck to face her</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's ok Anontonio, you don't have to get nervous. This is why I'm here to help!&quot; cooed the Angel horse</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you didn't notice that you where borderline snarling and that your wings were full mast almost threatningly</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you perceive that the whole class seemed to be directly observing your wings and teeth</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you calm yourself a little as Fluttershy now addresses the class</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Everypony, this colt here is Anontonio. He will be joining your class every week.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you take a breath and introduce yourself more calmly</span><br />&quot;Si, I am Anontonio. You puledri may call me Anon if zat is too difficult for you. I come 'ere to do my required time and no more-a.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;to you, this may as well be prison</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;an educational zoo</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you want to follow your interests</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy clears her voice and continues</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;As you can see, Anon here is a foreigner. His first language is Itaillian, so he has a hard time communicating with others.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you roll your eyes at Flutter's comment but don't feel like arguing with her</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;after all she's been mostly kind towards you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not to mention that you get easily exhausted around idiots and judging from your experience at the market, Equestria must be full of them</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Please, just try be kind to him and I'm sure you'll make great friends!&quot; Fluttershy then turns to miss Cheerilee &quot;I leave him in your teaching for now. Please take care.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Don't worry Fluttershy, I'm sure everything will be just fine.&quot; said Cheerilee then turning to face you &quot;Anon, why don't you sit down there behind Applebloom and next to Sweetie Belle&gt;&quot; she points to the left hand most seat in the second row with a hoof</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy waves goodbye before leaving as you make your way to the desk</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Applebloom, where have you heard that name from?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you think as you approach the desk behind the filly with the adorable little red bowtie and next to another one who happens to be a white unicorn who seems to have a similar dyed design on her flank from the first</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you approach the stool behind your selected desk and simply drop your horse ass onto it before making yourself comfortable wit the desk</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey Anontonio, I'm Sweetie Belle. Want to join our club, the cutie mark crusaders?&quot; whispered the white unicorn filly excitedly as you turned to face her</span><br />&quot;Che cosa?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you say confused as you face her for a moment before facing whatever was causing that spittle behind you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Pssst, psst! Hey, hey Anon! Are you a vampony?&quot; slobbered the dumb mango cornuto who was sitting in the desk behind you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you grunt, dismiss and ignore the distractions as you lean your head with your fore-hoof on the table</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;eyeing miss Cheerilee and patiently waiting for the class to continue</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Attention everypony, we will now move on to our next lesson! Quiet down please.&quot; shouted the horse teacher</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Meno male!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Today we'll be revisiting our important lesson on Cutie Marks!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Day wake me up in Lala land</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;be Anontonio the pastel colored winged horse abomination plush thing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you begin to come to</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;hopefully you've woken up from that nightmare</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you feel something akin to a rapidly repeating patting on your chest</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you force open your eyelids</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can still see your muzzle and find yourself in a bed with a light blue blanket inside what seems to be a wooden pastel colored cottage</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;cazzo</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh, and did you mention that you notice that there seems to be a bobble-head white bunny plush thing sternly stomping on your poofy chest?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;yep, you're now certain</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've clearly fallen down the rabbit hole this delivery</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you watch the little white bobble bunny turn around and point with one of its stubbly little arms towards its rump</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you notice what looks like tire marks among unkept fur</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you watch as it turns back to face you and points back towards your face as it continues stomping angrily over you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what does this roadkill want from you, a goddamn carrot?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you ignore the furball and raise your upper body up right from a laid down position once more</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you take another look around the room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you see a few windows, stairs leading up, some couches, a fireplace, birdcages hanging from the ceiling, what seems to be other pet accessories, a door leading outside, another probably leading to a kitchen, a nightstand with an oddly familiar looking lamp and the vespa from before parked right next to the bed you were laying in minus the pizza boxes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you feel something suddenly pulling your chest forward</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you look down to see the rude little furball pulling onto your chest fur with one paw and shaking the other paw angrily towards you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;all while rudely squeaking nonsensical noises at you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you raise your right fluffy log of an arm from above the covers and shove the furball off of your hairy chest tuft with a squeak and retort</span><br />&quot;Eyy bugs!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you assume this little birichino understands english from your experiences with the first two plushies you've met since you've woken up to this hell</span><br />&quot;Why don you maek like-a ball an' bounca!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're suddenly interrupted with the distinct sounds of laughter</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hah, oh hoh hoh hoh hoh!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you pause, turn your head and try to find the source of this unexpected chuckling</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh hah, over here my little joker.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you suddenly watch the strangely shaped desk lamp transformed and grew into the snake-like being from before</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you remain speechless as the towering being approaches the side of the bed</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you watch as the puffball on the bedsheet now yips and shakes it's paw angrily towards ass-face while hopping up and down</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you gasp unexpectantly as the bunny suddenly poofs into what seems to be a white rubber ball with it's face it's face etched on it before you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;dumbfounded, you watch as it then gets flicked out the window with a squeak from a flick of the snake-being's talon</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Bounce like a ball, classic...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stare at the snake-being in confusion as it wipes a tear from one of its eyes with its lion's paw before turning to face you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I think I may like you already.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the snaky being sits down on the Vespa, a pair of glasses on it's face, a notepad and quil in paw suddenly poof into existence and it stares expectantly at you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you calm your nerves a little and try to use your words before things could get any more awkward</span><br />&quot;I, whera am I.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;It begins to scribble something on its notepad and continues eyeing you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You're in Fluttershy's quaint little cottage, just outside the bland little town of Ponyville.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you don't recognize either of those names</span><br />&quot;An whera izza dat?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;In the boring kingdom of Equestira part of the generic world of Equestria. &quot;Lame&quot; name, I know.. Wouldn't you agree that Discordia or Chaos-Land would sell as a better name?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you ignore the latter bit of its speech</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the word Equestria as a kingdom or nation doesn't ring a bell to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're now positive that you're no longer living la dolce vita in la bella nazione that is Italy</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you begin to tense up again</span><br />&quot;H-how do ayy come herea!?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, I was enjoying magnificent picnic with Fluttershy when the little white rodent was being peskey. Sooo, I borrowed Celestia's magic mirror in hopes that a steam engine would drive the RUDE raskal away.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;magic mirror? You didn't understand any of this, are you supposed to be in some sort of Disney cartoon?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Of course you came riding on this cushy scooter of yours instead and broke the mirror in dimensional crossing. Oh, but don't worry about that little one. I still commend you on getting the job done. You should of seen your faces! Oh hah!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you watch it chuckle as it throws the notepad and quil into the air and leans closer towards you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;for a moment's glance at the flying notebook you see a crudely drawn picture of the said snake-being wearing sandals that appear to have the head of the rabbit on one and of what seems to be a white unicorn with it's tongue sticking out on the other</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Don't tell Celestia though, I don't think she'd have trouble getting a new one but &quot;I&quot; have a reputation now to keep.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it whispers senseless ramblings close to one of your ears in a hushed tone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you instinctively put up your arms to touch your ears as the snake-being leans back for a moment to watch you inquisitively</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you feel some thing similar to dog ears with your nubs you then feel greasy hair akin to a mane</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;madonna, you're convinced you're a cartoon marshmellow pegasus!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you turn your attention back to it</span><br />&quot;An who'ra you, some talking asino?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I, little colt, am Discord! Draconequus, spirit of chaos, master of mischief, king of fun and funny things! Perhaps you've heard of me?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you watch Discord pose like a egomaniacal prince with poofed golden crown, cane and trophy with &quot;#1 Chaos&quot; etched into it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you get it, he's magic or something</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you give a blank annoyed stare at this pazzo as a few seconds pass</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Humph, I expect a little praise at least. Interdimensional portal summoning of a metal object in motion with such a small mirror wasn't easy you know?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've come to the conclusion that Discord is somehow responsible for your current situation</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;in anger you do what's natural to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you raise your voice</span><br />&quot;PAZZO, SEND ME HO-muphuh!!!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Zip it, wouldn't want to wake Fluttershy before I know a little more about you little one. She's had long night, making space for you here.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your muzzle suddenly feels uncomfortably scrunched shut as Discord booped it with his lion's paw and then makes a zipper like motion</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, it didn't work?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you notice a sudden hesitation in Discord's voice and use this moment to bite down hard on his lion paw</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Gwooo, oh you cute little cad.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;at least your teeth weren't soft</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you feel your jaw snap shut as Discord unhinged his paw in retreat from your teeth</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you watch as Discord now poofed a new set of clothes onto himself in the style of a Dentist with a face mask, white coat and latex gloves</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You should of played along little one, now I have to figure out what you are the fun way.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Whadda you want wid-muepghhh.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you get cut off again as Discord leans close to your face and uses the gloves to forcibly keep open your mouth from the sides</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you try to fight him off you kicking by using your four hooves but alas, your marshmallowy appendages were useless</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you watch helplessly as you can only assume Discord is making funny faces with your lips as if you were putty or something</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hmm, two pairs of canines..&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you whine in pain as Discord forces your mouth even more open then what you would consider possible with what you can only assume is a miniature car tire jack</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're not used to such cartoon physics</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you watch in horror as Discord sticks his head into your mouth as if wanting to take a look down your throat</span><br />&quot;Uggrgh!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you find fur taste disgusting and your eyes begin to tear up from discomfort</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hmmmm, smells like garlic in here. So you're definitely not a vampony.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you gasp in relief as Discord leaves your gullet and you take a quick gasp of air only to feel dread again once you feel something pull your tail</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;si, you want off the ride now per piacere</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you'd bet this Disney cartoon hell you're in is directed by Tim Burton</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're lifted up from your tail by Discord's talon claw and are now hanging upside down</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you shake in fear as a little black storm cloud emitting static forms above you but still below the ceiling</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Just one more experiment now. This should only sting for a moment if you're a normal pony.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Mama mia, he is watching you expectantly with a devilish grin!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've watched enough cartoons as a kid to know where this is going</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you want to raise a white flag</span><br />&quot;Per f-favore non-n, ah-I surrendurra! I-I talk! I TALK!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;but your pleads go unheard as a small jolt of lightning cracks and hits you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you feel nothing from it, but for a moment you swear you could see the pastel colored skeleton of your horse body and you suddenly have a bit of a sharp headache</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Immune to metamorphoses but only resistant to magic, hmmm.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Discord then flips you around and holds you up as if you were Simba from lion king or something</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well aren't you a very special little pegasus colt. That wasn't TOO bad now, was it?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;why did this merda always HAVE to happen to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hear footsteps, no hoof-steps running down the stairway</span><br />&quot;I-is everything alright!? I-I thought I heard yelling, then lightning, then I just-EPPP!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;both you and Discord turn your attention towards the source of that commotion</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your soggy eyes see what you think is angel horse from before standing a few feet away from you and Discord</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you watch the yellow cartoon pegasus with pink mane gasp, then puffs her cheeks before shouting a single phrase like an angry siren</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;D-DISCORD!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hear noting but eerie quiet for a few seconds</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;then you began to suddenly feel wet all over your lower body followed by a dripping sound</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;mi scappa la pipi, papa</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh! Myy...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you were a half-sobbing, shaking, poofy mess of a little pegasus and now peed yourself aswell as on the cottage's wood pastel colored floor</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've done this all while still being held up by Discord</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Now Fluttershy, look what you've done to the poor colt! I had him COMPLETELY under control. Now you've gone and made him pee himself by terrifying him.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can't wake up inside</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;still be Anontonio the tiny marshmallow pegasus plush</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;be currently taking a bath in what you assume to be a large sink in the cottage's kitchen</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Angel hors-uh, you think Flutter-something was her name.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;anyways, Flutter-butter or whatever her name is currently rinsing and scrubbing you of what you assume to be the urine from your fur</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you look down towards what you assume is water in this cartoon Equestrian hell scale you've found yourself in</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it looks opaque to you with a very light bluish tint</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you see yourself in the reflection, you have similar large button eyes and facial structure to Butterfly-horse</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you acknowledge your current body as the same species as her</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you lower your horse head half way under the &quot;waterline&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this liquid may look like paint but it most definitely is as tasteless and flowing as water</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you still don't think you'd trust boiling pasta in it though</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not that you have the hands to cook now anyways</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Flutter-horse seems to be able to grasp a brush with her hoof-nub appendages easily as she scrubs you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you just let it happen, you have no will to resist after the events you've experienced today</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershed seemed to be apologetically mumbling incomprehensible babbling towards you in a panic</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;OhhpleasepleasePLEASEforgivemelittlecoltIdidn'tmeantoscareyousoohhCelestiawhat'veIgottenmyselfintothispoorcoltwhatwouldTwilightdoohhblahblahblahblahblah...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've never heard panicked shoutings this quiet your whole life</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you weren't really trying to pay attention</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;at least you didn't smell like piss anymore</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Flutterbuns begins to calm around you and let's the water drain</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ohh, Fluttershy, I've returned squeaky clean, just like your living room floor.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you watch as Discord walks into the room towards you, wearing a bathing cap and towel wrapped around him</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your eyes go wide for a moment then relaxed into a thousand yard state, he has returned</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you were shivering, but it wasn't because of Dickcord</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you believed that you've already suffered everything this cartoon fantasy world could dish out on you and you've barely been here a day</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you sneeze</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ohh, he's shivering.&quot; Fluttershy looks toward Discord, then back to you and then trots up to him. &quot;Discord, let me borrow this!&quot; Fluttershy yanks the towel off Discord with her mouth, sending him spinning back for a twirl or two and then begins to dry you with it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're not sure how you feel about this</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;There, feeling better?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your focus returns towards the maternal acting horse before you asking you a question</span><br />&quot;Non!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you retort bluntly</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;suddenly what you assume to be your stomach started garbling</span><br />Discord suddenly cuts in front of Fluttershy and picks you up<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;See Flutters, he's just hungry. Why don't you prepare something for him to eat while I quickly take him to see a Doctor.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you were about to protest but suddenly a giant lollypop magically materialized in your mouth, halting you from trying</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, I don't know Discord, the last time I saw him with you. He looked so frazzled an-&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Discord now holds you in one arm and boops Fluttershy's mizzle with the other</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Up-pup up, Flutters let's not forget who scared this colt to the point he soiled himself. I told you, I was just checking him for outside injuries, he fell pretty far off that silly scooter remember. Of course he'd be in a panic.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy scrunched up her muzzle and meekly gave you a guilty look for a moment, reconsidering Discords offer while you where still preoccupied with struggling to find a way to remove the oversized lollypop stuck in your mouth.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, I guess if it's to see a Doctor then it's o-&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Alright Fluttershy, I'll have him back by dinner!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Discord snaps his fingers, and both you and Fluttshy blink expectantly as nothing happens.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You hear Discord mutter somethings long the lines of &quot;Oh yea, forgot about that.&quot; under his breath as if annoyed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He snaps his fingers again and this time a portal appears, he then walks into it with you in arm</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the portal disappears behind you, Dsicord gently lets you down on the grass and the lollypop in you mouth simply ceased to exist</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you see a variety of floating land masses before you in a sea of purple shaded space</span><br />&quot;Dis iz not hospital.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you turn your head around to face to see what seems to be Discord standing in front of a red brick house, pondering about something</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you speak up to try to get his attention</span><br />&quot;I zought you ver bringing me-a to da hospital! Ver are-a we dastardo!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, we're still going to see a Doctor little one. We're just taking a detour first, this is my pleasant little homestead away from everything. My quaint little pocket dimension where I hold domain over away from Equestria, you see.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you price together his words and come to the realization that Dickcord can open portals to other dimensions at will</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;that's probably how you got here</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;THAT'S ALSO HOW YOU CAN GET BACK HOME!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your eyes go wide for a moment and then you begin to shout</span><br />&quot;NEVERMIND ZAT, SEND ME BACK WHERA YOU FIND ME, TO MY DIMENSION! TO MY-A WORLD, TO TERRA! TO MY HOMELAND, ITALIA!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you repeatedly slam your forehooves against the lawn in tantrum as you let your frustred desperate plea be heard</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you semi-tearfully observe Discord waiting for a response, as he begins to rub his chin with a paw and puts on a half annoyed face</span><br />&quot;You know little colt, in most of the dimensions I've traveled to, it's common courtesy to introduce yourself and call all-powerful draqonequus deitys by their name or title before pleading for a favor.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;your heart skipped a beat for a moment and you immediately respond, not wanting to disrespect the pupazzo that can free you from this nightmare</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;despite him being the cause that you're in this mess in the first place, you think</span><br />&quot;My nam iz Anone, I-I mean-a Anontonio. Anontonio d'Italia! I'm just a pizza delivery boy! Per favore signore Discord, non more-a dis! I just want to go home!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Discord shows what you think is a guilty face towards you for a moment from the pondering, as if he's trying to come up with a proper response.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you scramble to your fee-hooves trying stand on your four legs, you lose your balance and your instinctively flutter for a moment as you fall on your front.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oooph, you try to imagine how a small four legged marshmallow horse would crawl</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you bring your rear legs and heave one by one dragging across the lawn towards Discord</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;once close enough, you arch on to his Trogdor like lizard leg and hold onto it for support.</span><br />&quot;Please signore Discord!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you say once more with bright watery eyes looking up towards Discord with hope</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Daicords eyes you guiltily in silence, almost tearing up himself as if he's never seen a more pathetic, adorable and sad little thing as you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm sorry Anontonio.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what</span><br />&quot;What? Waddya mean-a, you'ra sorry?!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hold on to his leg tighter and raise your voice waiting for an explanation</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Discord poofs an hankerchief in his talon and whipes his near teary eyes with it before clearing his voice and turning his head to the side, as trying to avoid eye contact with you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Of the countless dimensions I've visited, I'm not familiar with such a world. It's unlikely that you'll ever be able to find a way to return to your homeland in your lifetime.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your heart skips a beat, a dreadful sensation of light headedness falls over you, your pupils shrink and you weekly let go of Discord's reptilian leg as your remaining desperate hope to return home have been crushed</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your life up untill now flashes in your thoughts</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;according to this all mighty pazzo you will never deliver pizzas in your hometown again, you will never grasp a fork and knife in your dexterous hands or cook with them again, you will never kick a ball with a ball, play calcio or watch the World Cup with your buddies at a bar again, you will never drive on the old cramped stone paved streets or hills or pass by your nations proud landmarks ever again, you will never see your friends, your family, you're Mama's cooking, caring face or loud scolding tone with you, and you will never EVER get that tip</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;cazzo</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it was as if a doctor diagnosed you waste a terminal disease or something</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;except said diagnosis instead is being trapped inside the body of a little marshmallow pegasus inside pastel-colored magical fantasy land of cartoon physics and talking animal pupazzos</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stare at the ground, defeated and dazed in depression</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hear Discord snapping his fingers and suddenly find yourself elevated upon what seems to be a stool made from peppermint</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you where too lost in pessimism to be phased by it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you didn't care</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you didn't know what to do with yourself</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Discord extends his paw under your chin and raises it so you could meet his reassuring smile</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's not ALL bad, Anontonio.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;porco diavolo, is he seriously trying to to cheer you up?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he's the reason you're in this merda!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you watch Discord poofs a little wooden televisor box with a crank into existence within his grasp</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Look on the bright side, you've still got your new life ahead of you.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he begins cranking it with one arm and it lights up, showing you a slideshow of crude drawings</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;one thing that stood out to you was the derpy little green marshmallow pegasus that you think was supposed to represent you in the middle of each of the sliding picture frame's animation</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;After all you're still a foal, you've still got your whole life ahead of you little colt.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the moving picture frames shows you falling out of a portal and meeting the ground with a thud while wearing a pacifier and bib</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you feel insulted and clarify a response</span><br />&quot;Ayy'm an adul--!?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;a pacifier materialized in your mouth, shutting you up mid speech</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Nuh, uh uh. Little Anon, it's rude to talk during the show. Please pay attention.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you spit out the pacifier and give Discord a deathly annoyed stare before looking back towards the motion picture</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the little green pegasus in the animation is now in front of a poorly drawn home with two larger horses hugging him and then is welcomed inside</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You'll be adopted by a loving foster family, and receive plenty of plenty of hugs and affection.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the pegasus is tucked into bed and kissed goodnight by a maternal like larger mommy pony</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You'll go to school, learn about Equestria, make &quot;friends&quot; and get into all sorts of chaos.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the open window from the pegasus's little drawn room revealed a moon that was quickly replaced by a crudely drawn sun with a little smiley face on it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the Pegasus praises the sun as he wakes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the pegasus rushes out of his bed and picks up a backpack. He then passes by the kitchen on the way out of the house, spilling a glass filled with a chocolate colored liquid and grabbing what seems to be a piece toast with his mouth before exiting.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;once outside the pegasus soars into the sky towards what seems to be a 1930s schoolhouse and meeting with other small horses. Together they all beat a crudely drawn dead white bunny with sticks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;And one day, you'll fall in love with a mare, get married and sign your little pony soul to living with chaos at every waking moment!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;one of a little fillies kiss the pegasus and they both grow in size as the image morphs to what seems to be a crudely drawn wedding ceremony.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the newlyweds walk down the row and exit only to find themselves old on a porch with miserable faces and little foals circling them.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Discord sighs in admiration and then turns to face you as the slideshow ends and the televisor poofs out of existence</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, doesn't that sound delightful Anon, what do you think?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what you think?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;WHAT YOU THINK!?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Assface is asking what YOU think of being forced to relive your life as a little talking horse in Alice's Wonderland as an orphan because of HIS careless shenanigans</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your sadness fades, all you feel is rage and a lack of empathy towards this clown playing with the strings of your fate like a pupazzo</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're no Pinocchio however, you've lost all fucks to give</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;in your rage, you do what's natural to you once more</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you raise your voice</span><br />&quot;AYY-A ZINK YOU SHOULDDA LEARN TO DRAW BETTA! VATENE A CAGARE AL INFERNO, TESTA DI ASINO CORNUTO!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;your shouts echoed throughout the chaotic dimension, waves of sound visible to the naked eye. The windows of Discords home shattered, the very peppermint stool you were standing on collapsed and you along with it. Even Discord spammed back and fourth as he forced himself to cover his own ears.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you yourself still felt some ringing from your ears over your own rage filled shouts</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you rub your head and ears with your march mellow hooves</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you do not think you fully understand the secrets to your new pony like form yet</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you look up to see a still recovering Discord</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you give a shit eating grin as you felt pleased that you were able to cause some harm to that bastardo</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well it seems I won't be able to teach you the basics of your body with that problem attitude problem of yours. I guess We'll to forward that hospital visit now.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Discord stops covering his ears and poofs what looks to be a golden cane with your pony self's head on it wearing a jesters hat</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he's now looking down at you with a familiar devilish grin</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your suddenly remembered that despite you not giving any fucks, that you were still in a fragile marshmallow horse's body that is very much capable of feeling pain</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;was he going to whack you with that?</span><br />&quot;You wouldn't hit a bambino, a-a colt wid zat would you?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you try to give an innocent yet forced smile, as you desperately try shuffling backwards</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What's that Anontonio? I can't hear you, you see I decided to remove my ear drums temporarily while preparing you for the X-Ray machine. Now stand still, this has to look real convincing. This will only hurt for a moment, my reputation is at stake.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you cring</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;well, it was worth a shot</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he was seriously intent to whack you with that thing</span><br />&quot;Non, fack off-a! Go away! NON MI ROMPERE LE PALLE!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you yell, hoping another shockwave of sound would strike him</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you had no such luck this time around</span><br />*thwap*<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you are currently in the air in a spin with a throbbing pain coming from the back of your head</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you see yourself flying towards a tear of light as your vision goes black</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;hello darkness my old friend</span><br /><br />Skill unlocked: Raging Napoletano Voice<br /><br />If certain conditions are met, you have the ability to shout a powerful shockwave visible to the naked eye.</div></div>
</div><h3><span class="mw-headline" id="Adventures_of_Anontonio_Day_11a">Adventures of Anontonio Day 11a</span><a href="Adventures_Of_Anontonio_Day#/editor/4" title="Edit section: Adventures of Anontonio Day 11a" data-section="4" class="edit-page icon icon-32px icon-edit enabled">Edit</a></h3><div>
<div dir="ltr" class="mw-geshi mw-code mw-content-ltr"><div class="gettext source-gettext">&#160;<br />The following &quot;Adventures of Anontonio in Equestria&quot; is a story for Dadonequus threads or Discord Dad General on /mlp/<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;day cazzo you had an accident and are regaining consciousness</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;be Anontonio</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;boy does your head hurt</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your mama always told you that you should wear a helmet when driving on your Vespa in the hills</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but you didn't listen, you're no bambino</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you always preferred your flatcap anyways</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Little -olt, ---tle colt! Ohhh, I -ope he's a-rig--...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;some soft spoken angel's voice is calling out to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wait, that's not Italian</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;owch, ayyy</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;nevermind the head, your everything hurts</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;at least it means you survived</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're not in the next life yet</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;-alm do-n dear -lutt-rshy, ou- little guest -eems t- be commin- too.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;another foreign, yet quirky voice responds</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you begin to recognize some of those words</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you half-assed your way through English classes in high school</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you faintly start to put together the cause of the accident in your head</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you where on the job delivering pizza</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;out of nowhere while driving you were blinded by some oval shaped light and then nothing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;foreigners must of blinded you with their high beams and hit you with their car</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;no way you'll be able to collect on that tip now</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;damn tourists</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you faintly hear munching sounds followed by the quirky voice again</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ah but Fluttershy, look the picnic isn't ALL ruined. Forget about the colt for a moment and try some of this pizza! It's thin and toasty with a delicious unique pungent flavor.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your hearing becomes clearer</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;pizza?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;after suffering through an accident, these foreigners are enjoying YOUR delivery</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;like hell were you going to stand for that without payment</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Now Discord, I hardly--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you cut off the angel before she could rebuke</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your eyelids angrily force open and you, in your best english you can muster shout</span><br />&quot;LETTA GO OV MAI PIZZA, TIEVS!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;10/10, surely you got your message across</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You see before you what you can only imagine are are a pair of pastel colored pupazzos looking down at you with a pastel colored sky just above</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;one of a shocked horse and the other, a smug snake-like being</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;probably stiched with whatever spare parts the plushie factory had left over and still munching on YOUR pizza</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you think you're either hallucinating from some heavy medication after the accident or that you're trapped in one very strange nightmare</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you notice something pastel colored covering your nose and you reach out to touch it with your hand</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but instead you see this flat circular fluffy nub howeveing from the extension of your now fluffy pastel colored arm</span><br />&quot;Auurgh!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you yelp in horror as you instinctively bring your other hand to bare with your face only to realize that another nub appears and you yelp once more</span><br />&quot;Aaaauuurghhh!!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you focus on getting your upper body up form your laid down back position to get a better look at yourself</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;W-we didn't mean to-&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you instinctively cut off angel horse in another yelp as you observe your body</span><br />&quot;Aaaruuughhhaghhrr!?!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;your legs have the same nubs at the end instead of feet</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you have a tail currently covering your privates which you REALLY don't want to think about right now</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you have these two feathery appendages sticking out of your back, wings?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your face has some sort of muzzle and you're fluffy all over</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;never in your wildest dreams have you ever thought you could get THIS hairy, or so you thought</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what are you supposed to be, some kind of magical talking donkey plush?!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you begin to shake</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Now now, no need to get rude little one. If you &quot;really&quot; want it back, you can have it.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you just notice the Trogdor look-a-like with an ass's head is sitting on a pastel shaded vespa</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a vespa that eerily resembles the one you use to deliver pizza right down to the decals and pizza boxes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you then watch in shock as it regurgitates the pizza it ate onto it's lion's paw and the slice rematerializes as if it was never chewed to begin with</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you cringe as you watch it put the slice back into one of the open pizza boxes and ass-face speaks up again</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;There, was that so bad?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;mortal men like you were not meant to witness such things</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can't wake up</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can't unsee</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you want off this hell</span><br />&quot;AAAAUUUURRGHHURAAAHHH!?!!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you yell one last time and pass out</span><br /><br />Bonus to my readers: A fellow writer, Erf made a Vocaroo of the end of this chapter. I had a good laugh listening to my own writing red, so I though I'd share it. Link here: http://vocaroo.com/i/s0JN9mEWCUmv<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Week time sure flys in horseland</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;be Anontonio, embracer of night and master of Zs</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;fiery rays of luminescent hell peek through a crack in the makeshift blinds and over your closed eyelids</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you instinctively rustle under the covers of your bed, clenching fabric with your teeth to keep you in the sweet embrace of darkness</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the song-birds chirps slowly lull you back to sleep almost as if a lullaby was constantly played for you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you feel like you don't have a worry in the world</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;there is no need to go to work</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;there is no chores to be done or expenses paid</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;there are no crazy magic talking horses trying to make you do crazy magic horse things</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;there is only sleep</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;there is only pace</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it is a peaceful respite for you-</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;pat pat pat pat</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you feel a familiar light stomp-like tapping over you from beyond the covers</span><br />&quot;N-nnon, Mama!? Ancora cinque m-minuti..&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you plead in your muffled voice as curl up tighter rejecting what the outside world could offer over your little shade of heaven</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;DIRIRING-A-DRING-A-RING-A-DRING---GRING&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your hoof instantly pokes out of the covers and makes contact with the alarm clock with the force and strength of a thousand spicy gnocchi</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hear a muffled dinging sound in the distance and the tapping weight that was on you seems to have gone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;excellent, back to your peaceful state of quiet rest and relaxation</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the weight suddenly returns and so does that awful ringing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;DRING-A-RING-A!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you release your fore-hoof again in hopes to silence the invading mechanical abomination to your fortress of blissful ignorance, but the weight bounced to another spot over you out of its reach</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;BLING-A-BLING-A!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you release your other fore-hoof in attempt to knock it of off, but the weight just hopped out of your reach once more as if taunting you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you groan in annoyance and begin simply flailing about underneath the covers</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you swung your head, kicked with your hooves, flapped with your wings, whipped your tail, tossed and turned</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but despite your thrashing, your efforts never succeeded in knocking away the alarm as it kept dodging your limbs</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've had enough of this merda</span><br />&quot;O-okaaay, who-a dares wake da lupo!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you begrudgingly toss the covers off you and stand ready to face the sorry birichino who woke you from your peaceful slumber</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;before you stands the one Fluttershy called &quot;Angel Bunny&quot; with a smug, almost pleased look on his stupid little bobble head face over your reaction and all while tapping at the clock with his paw</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this rabbit was no &quot;Angel&quot; to you, if anything the opposite, you'd bet that if ass-face didn't exist that this bunny is Lucifer itself</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you calmed your emotions for a moment and eyed in the general direction of the clock</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it showed no lines or numbers, just a large arrow and small arrow indicating that it should be around 10:30 if it's anything similar to earth hours</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you don't know how time zones work in magical talking horse world</span><br />&quot;Ay see, I overrslept did-en't ayy..&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you turn around and stretch your legs as Devil bunny looks at you with a puzzled expression as if expecting an entirely different reaction from you and is contemplating how well you're taking this</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;AND HE'S RIGHT TO</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;as if getting ready to pounce you slowly turn your neck to bring you face to face the meat</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your half closed eyes bloodshot and with a rage filled gaze, your large cartoon pupil twinkled with mischievous intent, if you had any veins in your forehead, they'd most definitely be shown pumping now and you muzzle giving a sly grin just large enough to show the tips of your canines</span><br />&quot;DON BREAK-A MY BALLS BUNNY!!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;the meat begins to turn around expecting a chase</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but that wasn't your intent</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;with your fore hooves already in firm position, you buck with all your pent up Italian rage and send Angel flying along with the held alarm clock</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;eeeeeeeeeeeee&quot;</span><br />&quot;I WAKE-A UP WHEN AYY WAND TO PORCO DIAVOLO!!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Angel flew into the blinds and smashes through the window with a crash</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAALLLLLL-</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;solar rays of immense burning discomfort washes over your once giddy face</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your pupils immediately construct, you instinctively turn your head away and cover your vision with a hoof full of shade while hissing in displeasure</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you bet that magic pony &quot;princess&quot; with that fat sunny ass is behind this</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;somewhere in magic horse land an Alicon Princess sitting on her throne while going about her daily court duties sneezes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;A-anon, is everything alright?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;well, there is no point in going back to sleep now</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stretch on the bed and give out a long yawn as Fluttershy enter the living room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she gives you a concerned look</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;O-oh I knew, I heard something.. Anontonio, I was worried you'd overslept. You're going to be late for your first day of school!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;school?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;catzo, do you really need horse education? You've already graduated</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy eyes go wide over the broken window next to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;When did this happen, was it always broken?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you reply with another disinterested yawn and half closed eyes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy frowns as she observes some glass fragments on the floor</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I guess I'll have to stop by Applejack's kiosk and ask if she can patch this up later. I wouldn't want anypony catching a cold.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she begins backpeddling and sweeping the debris into a corner with her tail</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;neat, but you wouldn't want glass in your hair</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Have seen Angel? I'm positive that I've asked him to wake in case you overslept.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the bunny? That little devil's could be spending the day picking &quot;carrots&quot; out of from his culo for all you care</span><br />&quot;Angel? Si, I'mma looking right at her-a.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you say, facing Fluttershy with a smug grin</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy's wings rustled and she seemed flustered for a moment</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anontonio, we had this talk already. I told you to call me Fluttershy or miss Fluttershy, not angel horse.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;10outta10, question averted</span><br />&quot;Si, si. Whadevar you say-a miss angel horse.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Flittershy frowned</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Also remember what Princess Celestia told you, We are ponies, not horses.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You also remember asking if ponies have free speech under her rule, which is a yes and it also helps that everyone thinks you're a child despite your protests.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not that you care much about Sunbutt's rule anyways, the only thing she's done for you was get Assface temporarely off your back and force you to agree to a set of conditions to find you a suitable foster home.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what's that?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you wish to recall the specific details of your agreement with the horse sun goddess?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;too bad, you're too tired for such deep thinking</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;perhaps if the subject ever gets brought up, you'll think about it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy stops what she's doing and approaches you smiling with dreamy eyes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh merda, why the sudden change of tune</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;from your experience, when Italian women suddenly change tune towards this quickly it's usually a sign of them having a cunning idea or you're in for some sort of wooping</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hope mares are different</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you feel uneasy and lean back away from her</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anontonio.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she says as she comes closer to you with now dreamy eyes you do not feel comfortable receiving while on a bed</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this is some kind of next level mental horse hypnosis, you can tell</span><br />&quot;Seeing as you'll be late anyways, why don't you get ready for school while I clean this up so we can go together?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;what, together?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but you don't want to go</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you want to sleep somewhere shady</span><br />&quot;Whad? Why can't ay just go by myselfa!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well um, seeing you always sleep in gives me the impression that you'll just get lost and fall asleep somewhere.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you cringe from her realization</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this horse</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this horse right here</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've lived with her for about a week and she already knows you too well</span><br />&quot;Do ayy hav to? I'm a-a foreignerr. Besides, ay hav gotten diploma already ay sweara!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you begged not to go, at least you think you did with your new pegasus body by lowering your head and keeping your forhooves together</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy frowned again upon finding out her intuition was correct and gave you a stern stare</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;catzo</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your gaze was frozen, facing hers</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you were right to assume this was some sort of mind game</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anon!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she said in a more assertive and commanding tone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you gulp, still frozen in the siren's trance</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Even if I believed that were the case, I happen to know that even colts in Itaily go to schools until they graduate as productive stallions for society.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;that's right, you've been told by Celestia that there is a continent to the east of Equestria with a country named Itaily in the middle of an inland sea known as the Mareditermaneian with the capital of Roam that speak your native language</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;with added horse puns of course</span><br />Just thinking up these, drove me crazy.<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Besides.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy picks you up off the bed with her forehooves and drops you gently standing on your 4 hooves onto the floor</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You'll learn to read and write an, ohh, oh of course, you'll make friends and play with many other colts and fillies of your age!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she says with a more excitable tone</span><br />&quot;Ayy'm an adul-&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;DOSEN'T THAT SOUND LIKE FUN?!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she cuts off your retort and beams at you with a wide smile</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;shaken, you groan and just accept your fate</span><br />&quot;F-fine, ayyy'll a-go get ready...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;a victorious squee, rubber duck-like noise can be heard coming from her as you turned around and choose not to question it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you make your way towards and up the stairs one by one</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;once you've reached the peak you take a left, enter the washroom and slam the door shut behind you to vent some frustration</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you patter into the shower booth, close the curtains behind you and boop the shower lever on</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;yes magic horses have plumbing and showers</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it's very cold mind you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;shivering from initial contact, you'd think you we're covered in wet snow on the alps or something</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;still it's not all bad, you've always liked to keep your self groomed and looking your best for any occasion</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;probably your fault anyways since you've woken up so late and all the warm water was used</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you try to ignore it with some singing</span><br />&quot;Lasciatemi cantare~&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you let the water pour over you evenly as you twirl in a circle in your happy tune</span><br />&quot;Con la chitarra in mano~&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dio mio, do you sure miss you hands</span><br />&quot;Lasciatemi cantare<br />una canzone piano, piano..&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;feeling your coat sufficiently soggy and your mane rinsed you stand on your rear legs to be able to reach a shampoo bottle on the counter</span><br />&quot;Lasciatemi cantare~&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you clamp your fore-hooves together to clutch the bottle and let the shampoo splurge onto your mane, back and tail</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've only been here for about 2 weeks and you've already realized how much you took your figure and arms for granted living the life of a stubby little horse for daily mundane things like being able to brush your teeth</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you drop the bottle and slowly but methodically scrub yourself clean one hoof at a time</span><br />&quot;Perche ne sono fiero!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stand on your rear legs again to see what else you can use from the counter and notice your nemesis</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a bar of soap</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you narrow your eyes in determination</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;be lucifer himself</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;no you mean rabbit ragu</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;BE ANGEL BUNNY</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're certain you've spent too much time living with Anontonio</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you tolerated that blasted little wop for too long</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not that you were trying...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;BUT STILL!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this be YOUR cottage</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy be YOUR caretaker</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE FAVORITE</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;and you're certain you still have some glass shards lodged in your furry little tush</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh, but your suffering ends today</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;OHHHH YES, you've got a carrot with you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;no, not just any carrot</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've sharpened this carrot with all your lust for revenge, so you're certain it's pointy enough to impale that marshmallow</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;THAT'S RIGHT YOU'RE GONNA STAB HIM WITH IT!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can listen to him sing the song of his people in the shower from outside the cottage</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;good he's distracted, it will be the last tune he chirps</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hop onto the second floor ledge and as silently as you can open the bathroom port window. Tip toe inside on your paws, and close it behind you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wouldn't want anypony important to hear the deed as anything other then horrid singing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stealthly leap down onto the washroom floor under the ambiance of the running shower water and slowly inch your way closer to the shower's curtains like some kind of a ninja</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a ninja turtle</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;who says bunny's can't be slow and steady when assassinating an unsuspecting foal</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;NOT YOU THAT'S WHO</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Perche ne sono fiero!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're now close enough to see your shadow on the curtains</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;fortunately for you your prey has currently turned his back towards you and is preoccupied with the contents of the counter</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you grin and maliciously drool at the perfect opportunity before you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;standing on your back legs you carefully open the curtain entrance to the side with your left paw and slowly raise your right paw wielding the carrot in preparation for the stabbing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;THIS IS IT!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Sono un Italiaaaaa-NNOOOOOOOOOONNNN!?!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;be Anontonio</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you recoil back, flutter your wings and scramble your fore-hooves</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;that damned soap bar just won't stay in your grasp</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;trying to clench it with both hooves, it slips out of your clutches as you attempt to stop juggling it around</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;and there's no way in hell you're going to use your mouth</span><br />&quot;MA VAFFANCULO SAPONE E CHE TI HA FATTO!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;even IF you acknowledge being a potty-mouth</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;getting impatient you attempt to catch it with a clamping motion of both your wings in front of you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;instead this sends you reeling back onto your plot and launches the soap at incredible speed as it continuously ricochets about in the shower</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you duck and cover your eyes as the ballistic soap misses your head by a hair</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hear a crash and then quiet</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you lift your head and notice the soap is gone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;w-well, it's not like you wanted to smell your b-best anyways!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Stupid slippery soap bars and stupid hooves...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not that you expected your wings to emit that much force either</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you swear that soap bar had the velocity of a bloody cannon shell or something</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it could of killed you</span><br />&quot;Un... Italiano.. Vero.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you finish your little tune, panting and boop the shower water lever off</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you exit the shower to dry yourself and step on what seems to be a carrot</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you ponder for a moment, why would Angel horse have a peeled carrot on the washroom floor</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a sudden thought comes to you and you blush</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh, OH!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you quickly look for something else, not wanting to think further on magic talking horse anatomy</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you notice the washroom window is busted</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you assume the ballistic soap is perhaps miles away by now</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you sigh and finish drying yourself, also you succeeded to manually comb your mane back with your wings while it's still wet</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you would kill for some hands and hair gel right about now</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Come on down Anon, I've got your saddlebag ready!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you groan, remembering that you still have to go to magic horse elementary school today</span><br />&quot;Si, si, ayy'm on da wayy!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you exit the washroom and make your way down</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Angel horse was already waiting for you by the exit next to what seemed a white double sided knapsack abomination</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wait, you notice she was wearing something similar too on her back</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Come on over here Anon, so I can put this saddlebag on you back and we can get going.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Do ayy really hav' to wear ZAT!?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you point in disgust towards the knapsack abomination</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy scowls disapproving at your snobbish attitude and sternly stares towards you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes, every young colt and filly wears a saddlebag to school and so will you mister.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Ok, ok, I get it! I'll wear zis abominio difettoso!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you groan and make you way to Fluttershy and let her strap the saddlebag onto you back, just behind your wings</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;great</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;now you were not only a horse, but a working horse only a week after mastering walking</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;like a horse</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not that the weight was too much for you and it surprisingly fit your marshmallow pony anatomy well</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, it's only been about a week and already you look like a colt ready to be sent off for your first day of school, I'm so proud!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;n-not that you'll ever admit it tho</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've got your own pride</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy motioned you to exit while keeping while covering her expression with one hoof in what can only now be described as a happy yet close to sobby state</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;as you exit you avert your gaze for a moment to your old Vespa leaning on the porch</span><br />&quot;So-a, 'ow long befor we arrive?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ponyville is only a good 10 minute trot away, but knowing you're pace it'll take 20 minutes. Oh I know, how about a race? I'm not the fastest pony around. Betch'ya can beat be if you just try!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wow, Angel horse REALLY wants to see you get excited for this</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;however you don't share her enthusiasm or care</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've already had your share of schooling growing up back on earth</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;besides</span><br />&quot;If ayy'm going to be late anyways, ayy may as well be fashionably late and...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you sigh then momentarily point back towards the Vespa for Fluttershy as you pace with her</span><br />&quot;If I could be able to ride that oversized scooter in mai current state, ayy'd be able to get zere in less zan <span class="nu0">5</span> minutes presto!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;bushes suddenly rustled behind you along your path but dismissed it as merely one of Fluttershy's many wild pets going about their business</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, well I'm sure you'll be happy to know that once you learn to fly that you'll be able to match speed in no time.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Angel horse's adamant cheery attempts to suggest to you to always look towards the future positively has left a modest but tiny smile on you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you try your best to be less argumentative with her untill you reach Ponyville</span><br />&quot;So-a, what's in mai saddlebag?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;School supplies, a pair of textbooks, a pair of bits and the lunch I prepared for you.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you turn your neck around enough momentarily to sniff at your saddlebag but don't find any distinct smell other then that of text book</span><br />&quot;What's for lunch?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, my specialty. Cucumber and daisy sandwiches!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You turn your head away from here and gag in disgust</span><br />&quot;I zink ayy'd be able to find more taste in an English muffin.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you mutter</span><br />&quot;What was that?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;not currently wanting to argue with your caretaker about obviously inferior horse &quot;food&quot;, you quickly change subject</span><br />&quot;Sooo, ey tell me about-a your first day in school.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I-if your really want to know. I mean, it was so long ago.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Si, ayy do.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you really don't</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, when I was a little filly the first thing that happened that morning after waking up was opening my window completely to be greeted by the sun and darling birds blah blah, blah blah blah, blah blah...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this is going to be a long 10 minutes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you seem to be closer to the Ponyville's center some 15 minutes later</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;pacing behind a babbling Fluttershy, completely oblivious to your disregard of her times at school</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the trip wasn't all fruitless to you however</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've discovered a use for your wings</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;using the tips as ear plugs, it helped you drown out this mare's voice</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not that Fluttershy has ever caught your disinterest</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;whenever she looked back to make sure you kept up, you feigned whistling a tune, playing innocent and answering with the occasional &quot;Si si.&quot; or &quot;Oh really?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she seemed to be fairly excited to share her experience</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you almost feel bad for her</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;almost</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she suddenly turns to face an off-guard you with a cheerful smile and proclaims</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We've arrived!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you sweat as you quickly put on an act of you cleaning out your ears with your wings for a moment</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Uhm Anontonio, are you listening?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Ehh, si si! Ayy was just cleaning out my ears-a, I zink some wader remain from showering.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you take a look around you avoiding the conversation further</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're now standing in what seems to be a market square, bustling with ponies of all kinds and colors going about their day</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can even distinguish some of the goods on sale despite their alien yet simple pastel colored shapes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you see baked good stands, kitchen appliance stands, tool stands, fruits and vegetable stands as far as your oversized horse eyes can see</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anon? Anontonio, this is your first time at the marketplace isn't it.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Si, ayy guess.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy points a fore-hoof towards an apple stand-wagon with a familiar orange mare wearing a cowboy hat pitching to sell apples</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'll be over there talking with Applejack for a moment, I know how excited you are to see Ponyville but you've still got to go to school. I'll let you explore the market place but stay close to the market square within my line of sight, ok?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Va bene, ayy'll look around.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you nod and trot towards a more opening in the market yet still in the limits Angel horse's sight</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you trot up to a cherry stand with a stern looking tan pegasus stallion wearing a cap and bow-tie manning it</span><br />&quot;Ughh ciao, do you sell cherrys?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes we do lil' colt! I saw you walkin up 'ere, eyeing the goods. Why, tell me is that yellow pegasus mare waving over there your mommy?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you turn momentarily and see Fluttershy waving mid conversation with the apple mare in acknowledgement of your position</span><br />&quot;Non non, she's actually my legal guardian-&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, have I got a special offer for you little colt!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the tan stallion cuts you off, pulls your head closer with his hoof and with a sly grin begins whispering in your ear</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Just for you, a special price! I'll sell a half-dozen cherries for a measly, oh I dunno 30 bits.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he then lets you go, expectantly waiting for a reply</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, waddya say colt?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you rub the back of your head in annoyance</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this confuses you, yet at the same time you have a gut feeling that something wasn't quite right here</span><br />&quot;Bitz? What are zese bitz you speak of?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;the stallion groans and rolls his eyes at you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Figures HER colt wouldn't even know about bits.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he mutters ignorant of you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ugh I just realized we don't serve foals, please come back when you've got bits with you.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you scowl as the stallion shoos you away dismissively</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;rude</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it's not your fault you don't know magic horse land customs</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you didn't even WANT to taste an alien pastel colored cherry</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;I-idiota!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you move along to the next stand with a big and dumb looking stallion with a scruffy mane manning it</span><br />&quot;Whad do you sell 'ere?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;the stallion answer with a goofy yet bluntly honest tone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Screws and screw accessories.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Zat it?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yep, just about. We got some nails and hammers inna back too.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you never would of guessed this horse with a screw loose seriously makes a living selling screws and nails at a stand</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you immediately remember the busted windows back at Fluttershy's cottage</span><br />&quot;You know~&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you point at Fluttershy and the apple mare with a hood</span><br />&quot;I zink zose ponies over zere may be in need-a of some nails. You should ask zem!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Gee, thanks colt! I'll go do that!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you watch the stallion leave his stall unattended and trek towards the mares</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wow, he's really trusting of you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you observe the vulnerable goods of the stall but find nothing of real interest to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;figures there's nothing you could even use except for maybe a hammer</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not that you'd take it anyways</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're not grabbing anything with your horse mouth</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you aren't some dirty animal peasant</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've been spoon-fed soup like a king for over a week already by Angel horse!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the soup could be better though</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you don't think you could go another week &quot;tolerating&quot; tomato soup</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;just because you have canines doesn't make you a vampire</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;or does it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you realize you still know very little of your current horse biology</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;perhaps going to school won't be so bad</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;perhaps you'll also be able to educate the uncultured horses on minestrone and cream soups in the near future</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you move on to the next stand</span><br />&quot;Whad do you sell?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;a unicorn mare with a bun mane and board expression answer with a sarcastic and grainy tone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What's it look like I'm selling!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you observe the stall and see nothing but rows of brooms, brooms for days</span><br />&quot;Brooms?<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Brooms, wanna buy!&quot;</span><br />&quot;For whad are they magic? Canna I ride on zem and fly like a strega or somezing?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No that's silly, they sweep. You got any bits!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;well EXCUSE ME how are you supposed to know magic horse land doesn't have magic brooms</span><br />&quot;Whad are bitz!?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Look colt!&quot; she says in a coarse tone &quot;You're wasting my time. If you're a foreigner that hasn't got any bits, then scram!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're angry</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you don't have to take this from this puttana</span><br />&quot;FINE!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you shout in a quaking tone, a third of the market's eyes on you and they all probably heard you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the mare before you visibly wide eyed and shocked</span><br />&quot;AN WHILE YOUR-A AT IT, VATTENE A SCOPARE WIZ YOUR BROOM, FICA!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stomp away angrily, leaving the shaking cunt hiding behind her stall</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you have half a mind to get that hammer and just to whack some respect into her</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you didn't expect to find so many stronzos in magic horse land besides donkey face</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ey colt, non e bello a parlare di altri in quello modo, lo sai?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a taunting yet cheery, girly voice calls out to you before a momentary giggle</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your eyes go wide and you stop moving, trying to register what you've just heard spoken</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;did some PONY just call out to you in your native language!?!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ey colt, chi ti ha insegnato a usare quelle parole cattive?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;another girly voice calls out to you, this one more reserved and cautious</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you begin to turn your attention to the source of the voices</span><br /><br />Continues in Adventures of Anontonio Day 11b: http://pastebin.com/bFE4WWXM<br /><br />I'm going to add music or theme references and translations at the bottom from now on:<br /><br />Shower L'Italiano song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVHvaKo15Pw<br />Angel Bunny's Shower perspective: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Me-VhC9ieh0<br /><br />Line # &amp; word translation, Italian to English:<br /><br /><span class="nu0">15</span>: No mom, another <span class="nu0">5</span> minutes.<br />merda = shit/poop/crap<br />lupo = wolf<br />birichino = little imp/mischievous/troublesome<br />porco diavolo = swine devil/dastardly pig<br />catzo = cock<br />ragu = a ground up meat sauce used often with pasta<br /><span class="nu0">188</span>: Go fuck yourself soap as well as whom ever made you.<br />abomnio = abomination<br />difettoso = defective<br />Vespa = a two stroked engine, seated and aluminum scooter made in Italy.<br />Va bene = very well/ok/all good/everything's fine<br />idiota = idiot<br />strega = witch<br />puttana = whore<br />minestrone = An Italian soup involving stock, vegetables and sometimes pasta<br /><span class="nu0">356</span>:And while you're at it why don't you go sweep with your broom, cunt! <span class="br0">&#40;</span>In Italian to sweep also means to fuck. So Anontonio is telling the broom mare to go fuck herself with her broom.<span class="br0">&#41;</span><br /><span class="nu0">360</span>: Ey colt, it's not nice to talk about others in that way/fashion, you know?<br /><span class="nu0">364</span>: Ey colt, who taught you to use such bad words/language?</div></div>
</div><h3><span class="mw-headline" id="Adventures_of_Anontonio_Day_11b">Adventures of Anontonio Day 11b</span><a href="Adventures_Of_Anontonio_Day#/editor/5" title="Edit section: Adventures of Anontonio Day 11b" data-section="5" class="edit-page icon icon-32px icon-edit enabled">Edit</a></h3><div>
<div dir="ltr" class="mw-geshi mw-code mw-content-ltr"><div class="gettext source-gettext">&#160;<br />The following &quot;Adventures of Anontonio in Equestria&quot; is a story for Dadonequus threads or Discord Dad General on /mlp/<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;day cazzo you had an accident and are regaining consciousness</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;be Anontonio</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;boy does your head hurt</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your mama always told you that you should wear a helmet when driving on your Vespa in the hills</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but you didn't listen, you're no bambino</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you always preferred your flatcap anyways</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Little -olt, ---tle colt! Ohhh, I -ope he's a-rig--...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;some soft spoken angel's voice is calling out to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wait, that's not Italian</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;owch, ayyy</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;nevermind the head, your everything hurts</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;at least it means you survived</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're not in the next life yet</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;-alm do-n dear -lutt-rshy, ou- little guest -eems t- be commin- too.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;another foreign, yet quirky voice responds</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you begin to recognize some of those words</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you half-assed your way through English classes in high school</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you faintly start to put together the cause of the accident in your head</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you where on the job delivering pizza</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;out of nowhere while driving you were blinded by some oval shaped light and then nothing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;foreigners must of blinded you with their high beams and hit you with their car</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;no way you'll be able to collect on that tip now</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;damn tourists</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you faintly hear munching sounds followed by the quirky voice again</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ah but Fluttershy, look the picnic isn't ALL ruined. Forget about the colt for a moment and try some of this pizza! It's thin and toasty with a delicious unique pungent flavor.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your hearing becomes clearer</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;pizza?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;after suffering through an accident, these foreigners are enjoying YOUR delivery</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;like hell were you going to stand for that without payment</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Now Discord, I hardly--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you cut off the angel before she could rebuke</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your eyelids angrily force open and you, in your best english you can muster shout</span><br />&quot;LETTA GO OV MAI PIZZA, TIEVS!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;10/10, surely you got your message across</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You see before you what you can only imagine are are a pair of pastel colored pupazzos looking down at you with a pastel colored sky just above</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;one of a shocked horse and the other, a smug snake-like being</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;probably stiched with whatever spare parts the plushie factory had left over and still munching on YOUR pizza</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you think you're either hallucinating from some heavy medication after the accident or that you're trapped in one very strange nightmare</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you notice something pastel colored covering your nose and you reach out to touch it with your hand</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but instead you see this flat circular fluffy nub howeveing from the extension of your now fluffy pastel colored arm</span><br />&quot;Auurgh!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you yelp in horror as you instinctively bring your other hand to bare with your face only to realize that another nub appears and you yelp once more</span><br />&quot;Aaaauuurghhh!!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you focus on getting your upper body up form your laid down back position to get a better look at yourself</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;W-we didn't mean to-&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you instinctively cut off angel horse in another yelp as you observe your body</span><br />&quot;Aaaruuughhhaghhrr!?!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;your legs have the same nubs at the end instead of feet</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you have a tail currently covering your privates which you REALLY don't want to think about right now</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you have these two feathery appendages sticking out of your back, wings?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your face has some sort of muzzle and you're fluffy all over</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;never in your wildest dreams have you ever thought you could get THIS hairy, or so you thought</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what are you supposed to be, some kind of magical talking donkey plush?!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you begin to shake</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Now now, no need to get rude little one. If you &quot;really&quot; want it back, you can have it.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you just notice the Trogdor look-a-like with an ass's head is sitting on a pastel shaded vespa</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a vespa that eerily resembles the one you use to deliver pizza right down to the decals and pizza boxes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you then watch in shock as it regurgitates the pizza it ate onto it's lion's paw and the slice rematerializes as if it was never chewed to begin with</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you cringe as you watch it put the slice back into one of the open pizza boxes and ass-face speaks up again</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;There, was that so bad?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;mortal men like you were not meant to witness such things</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can't wake up</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can't unsee</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you want off this hell</span><br />&quot;AAAAUUUURRGHHURAAAHHH!?!!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you yell one last time and pass out</span><br /><br />Bonus to my readers: A fellow writer, Erf made a Vocaroo of the end of this chapter. I had a good laugh listening to my own writing red, so I though I'd share it. Link here: http://vocaroo.com/i/s0JN9mEWCUmv<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Week time sure flys in horseland</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;be Anontonio, embracer of night and master of Zs</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;fiery rays of luminescent hell peek through a crack in the makeshift blinds and over your closed eyelids</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you instinctively rustle under the covers of your bed, clenching fabric with your teeth to keep you in the sweet embrace of darkness</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the song-birds chirps slowly lull you back to sleep almost as if a lullaby was constantly played for you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you feel like you don't have a worry in the world</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;there is no need to go to work</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;there is no chores to be done or expenses paid</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;there are no crazy magic talking horses trying to make you do crazy magic horse things</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;there is only sleep</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;there is only pace</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it is a peaceful respite for you-</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;pat pat pat pat</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you feel a familiar light stomp-like tapping over you from beyond the covers</span><br />&quot;N-nnon, Mama!? Ancora cinque m-minuti..&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you plead in your muffled voice as curl up tighter rejecting what the outside world could offer over your little shade of heaven</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;DIRIRING-A-DRING-A-RING-A-DRING---GRING&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your hoof instantly pokes out of the covers and makes contact with the alarm clock with the force and strength of a thousand spicy gnocchi</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hear a muffled dinging sound in the distance and the tapping weight that was on you seems to have gone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;excellent, back to your peaceful state of quiet rest and relaxation</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the weight suddenly returns and so does that awful ringing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;DRING-A-RING-A!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you release your fore-hoof again in hopes to silence the invading mechanical abomination to your fortress of blissful ignorance, but the weight bounced to another spot over you out of its reach</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;BLING-A-BLING-A!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you release your other fore-hoof in attempt to knock it of off, but the weight just hopped out of your reach once more as if taunting you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you groan in annoyance and begin simply flailing about underneath the covers</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you swung your head, kicked with your hooves, flapped with your wings, whipped your tail, tossed and turned</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but despite your thrashing, your efforts never succeeded in knocking away the alarm as it kept dodging your limbs</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've had enough of this merda</span><br />&quot;O-okaaay, who-a dares wake da lupo!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you begrudgingly toss the covers off you and stand ready to face the sorry birichino who woke you from your peaceful slumber</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;before you stands the one Fluttershy called &quot;Angel Bunny&quot; with a smug, almost pleased look on his stupid little bobble head face over your reaction and all while tapping at the clock with his paw</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this rabbit was no &quot;Angel&quot; to you, if anything the opposite, you'd bet that if ass-face didn't exist that this bunny is Lucifer itself</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you calmed your emotions for a moment and eyed in the general direction of the clock</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it showed no lines or numbers, just a large arrow and small arrow indicating that it should be around 10:30 if it's anything similar to earth hours</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you don't know how time zones work in magical talking horse world</span><br />&quot;Ay see, I overrslept did-en't ayy..&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you turn around and stretch your legs as Devil bunny looks at you with a puzzled expression as if expecting an entirely different reaction from you and is contemplating how well you're taking this</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;AND HE'S RIGHT TO</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;as if getting ready to pounce you slowly turn your neck to bring you face to face the meat</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your half closed eyes bloodshot and with a rage filled gaze, your large cartoon pupil twinkled with mischievous intent, if you had any veins in your forehead, they'd most definitely be shown pumping now and you muzzle giving a sly grin just large enough to show the tips of your canines</span><br />&quot;DON BREAK-A MY BALLS BUNNY!!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;the meat begins to turn around expecting a chase</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but that wasn't your intent</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;with your fore hooves already in firm position, you buck with all your pent up Italian rage and send Angel flying along with the held alarm clock</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;eeeeeeeeeeeee&quot;</span><br />&quot;I WAKE-A UP WHEN AYY WAND TO PORCO DIAVOLO!!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Angel flew into the blinds and smashes through the window with a crash</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAALLLLLL-</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;solar rays of immense burning discomfort washes over your once giddy face</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your pupils immediately construct, you instinctively turn your head away and cover your vision with a hoof full of shade while hissing in displeasure</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you bet that magic pony &quot;princess&quot; with that fat sunny ass is behind this</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;somewhere in magic horse land an Alicon Princess sitting on her throne while going about her daily court duties sneezes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;A-anon, is everything alright?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;well, there is no point in going back to sleep now</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stretch on the bed and give out a long yawn as Fluttershy enter the living room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she gives you a concerned look</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;O-oh I knew, I heard something.. Anontonio, I was worried you'd overslept. You're going to be late for your first day of school!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;school?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;catzo, do you really need horse education? You've already graduated</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy eyes go wide over the broken window next to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;When did this happen, was it always broken?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you reply with another disinterested yawn and half closed eyes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy frowns as she observes some glass fragments on the floor</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I guess I'll have to stop by Applejack's kiosk and ask if she can patch this up later. I wouldn't want anypony catching a cold.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she begins backpeddling and sweeping the debris into a corner with her tail</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;neat, but you wouldn't want glass in your hair</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Have seen Angel? I'm positive that I've asked him to wake in case you overslept.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the bunny? That little devil's could be spending the day picking &quot;carrots&quot; out of from his culo for all you care</span><br />&quot;Angel? Si, I'mma looking right at her-a.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you say, facing Fluttershy with a smug grin</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy's wings rustled and she seemed flustered for a moment</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anontonio, we had this talk already. I told you to call me Fluttershy or miss Fluttershy, not angel horse.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;10outta10, question averted</span><br />&quot;Si, si. Whadevar you say-a miss angel horse.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Flittershy frowned</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Also remember what Princess Celestia told you, We are ponies, not horses.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You also remember asking if ponies have free speech under her rule, which is a yes and it also helps that everyone thinks you're a child despite your protests.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not that you care much about Sunbutt's rule anyways, the only thing she's done for you was get Assface temporarely off your back and force you to agree to a set of conditions to find you a suitable foster home.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what's that?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you wish to recall the specific details of your agreement with the horse sun goddess?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;too bad, you're too tired for such deep thinking</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;perhaps if the subject ever gets brought up, you'll think about it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy stops what she's doing and approaches you smiling with dreamy eyes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh merda, why the sudden change of tune</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;from your experience, when Italian women suddenly change tune towards this quickly it's usually a sign of them having a cunning idea or you're in for some sort of wooping</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hope mares are different</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you feel uneasy and lean back away from her</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anontonio.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she says as she comes closer to you with now dreamy eyes you do not feel comfortable receiving while on a bed</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this is some kind of next level mental horse hypnosis, you can tell</span><br />&quot;Seeing as you'll be late anyways, why don't you get ready for school while I clean this up so we can go together?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;what, together?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but you don't want to go</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you want to sleep somewhere shady</span><br />&quot;Whad? Why can't ay just go by myselfa!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well um, seeing you always sleep in gives me the impression that you'll just get lost and fall asleep somewhere.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you cringe from her realization</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this horse</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this horse right here</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've lived with her for about a week and she already knows you too well</span><br />&quot;Do ayy hav to? I'm a-a foreignerr. Besides, ay hav gotten diploma already ay sweara!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you begged not to go, at least you think you did with your new pegasus body by lowering your head and keeping your forhooves together</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy frowned again upon finding out her intuition was correct and gave you a stern stare</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;catzo</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your gaze was frozen, facing hers</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you were right to assume this was some sort of mind game</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anon!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she said in a more assertive and commanding tone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you gulp, still frozen in the siren's trance</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Even if I believed that were the case, I happen to know that even colts in Itaily go to schools until they graduate as productive stallions for society.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;that's right, you've been told by Celestia that there is a continent to the east of Equestria with a country named Itaily in the middle of an inland sea known as the Mareditermaneian with the capital of Roam that speak your native language</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;with added horse puns of course</span><br />Just thinking up these, drove me crazy.<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Besides.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy picks you up off the bed with her forehooves and drops you gently standing on your 4 hooves onto the floor</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You'll learn to read and write an, ohh, oh of course, you'll make friends and play with many other colts and fillies of your age!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she says with a more excitable tone</span><br />&quot;Ayy'm an adul-&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;DOSEN'T THAT SOUND LIKE FUN?!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she cuts off your retort and beams at you with a wide smile</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;shaken, you groan and just accept your fate</span><br />&quot;F-fine, ayyy'll a-go get ready...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;a victorious squee, rubber duck-like noise can be heard coming from her as you turned around and choose not to question it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you make your way towards and up the stairs one by one</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;once you've reached the peak you take a left, enter the washroom and slam the door shut behind you to vent some frustration</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you patter into the shower booth, close the curtains behind you and boop the shower lever on</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;yes magic horses have plumbing and showers</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it's very cold mind you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;shivering from initial contact, you'd think you we're covered in wet snow on the alps or something</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;still it's not all bad, you've always liked to keep your self groomed and looking your best for any occasion</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;probably your fault anyways since you've woken up so late and all the warm water was used</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you try to ignore it with some singing</span><br />&quot;Lasciatemi cantare~&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you let the water pour over you evenly as you twirl in a circle in your happy tune</span><br />&quot;Con la chitarra in mano~&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dio mio, do you sure miss you hands</span><br />&quot;Lasciatemi cantare<br />una canzone piano, piano..&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;feeling your coat sufficiently soggy and your mane rinsed you stand on your rear legs to be able to reach a shampoo bottle on the counter</span><br />&quot;Lasciatemi cantare~&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you clamp your fore-hooves together to clutch the bottle and let the shampoo splurge onto your mane, back and tail</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've only been here for about 2 weeks and you've already realized how much you took your figure and arms for granted living the life of a stubby little horse for daily mundane things like being able to brush your teeth</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you drop the bottle and slowly but methodically scrub yourself clean one hoof at a time</span><br />&quot;Perche ne sono fiero!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stand on your rear legs again to see what else you can use from the counter and notice your nemesis</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a bar of soap</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you narrow your eyes in determination</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;be lucifer himself</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;no you mean rabbit ragu</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;BE ANGEL BUNNY</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're certain you've spent too much time living with Anontonio</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you tolerated that blasted little wop for too long</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not that you were trying...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;BUT STILL!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this be YOUR cottage</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy be YOUR caretaker</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE FAVORITE</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;and you're certain you still have some glass shards lodged in your furry little tush</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh, but your suffering ends today</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;OHHHH YES, you've got a carrot with you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;no, not just any carrot</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've sharpened this carrot with all your lust for revenge, so you're certain it's pointy enough to impale that marshmallow</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;THAT'S RIGHT YOU'RE GONNA STAB HIM WITH IT!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can listen to him sing the song of his people in the shower from outside the cottage</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;good he's distracted, it will be the last tune he chirps</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hop onto the second floor ledge and as silently as you can open the bathroom port window. Tip toe inside on your paws, and close it behind you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wouldn't want anypony important to hear the deed as anything other then horrid singing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stealthly leap down onto the washroom floor under the ambiance of the running shower water and slowly inch your way closer to the shower's curtains like some kind of a ninja</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a ninja turtle</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;who says bunny's can't be slow and steady when assassinating an unsuspecting foal</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;NOT YOU THAT'S WHO</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Perche ne sono fiero!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're now close enough to see your shadow on the curtains</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;fortunately for you your prey has currently turned his back towards you and is preoccupied with the contents of the counter</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you grin and maliciously drool at the perfect opportunity before you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;standing on your back legs you carefully open the curtain entrance to the side with your left paw and slowly raise your right paw wielding the carrot in preparation for the stabbing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;THIS IS IT!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Sono un Italiaaaaa-NNOOOOOOOOOONNNN!?!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;be Anontonio</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you recoil back, flutter your wings and scramble your fore-hooves</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;that damned soap bar just won't stay in your grasp</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;trying to clench it with both hooves, it slips out of your clutches as you attempt to stop juggling it around</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;and there's no way in hell you're going to use your mouth</span><br />&quot;MA VAFFANCULO SAPONE E CHE TI HA FATTO!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;even IF you acknowledge being a potty-mouth</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;getting impatient you attempt to catch it with a clamping motion of both your wings in front of you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;instead this sends you reeling back onto your plot and launches the soap at incredible speed as it continuously ricochets about in the shower</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you duck and cover your eyes as the ballistic soap misses your head by a hair</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hear a crash and then quiet</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you lift your head and notice the soap is gone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;w-well, it's not like you wanted to smell your b-best anyways!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Stupid slippery soap bars and stupid hooves...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not that you expected your wings to emit that much force either</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you swear that soap bar had the velocity of a bloody cannon shell or something</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it could of killed you</span><br />&quot;Un... Italiano.. Vero.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you finish your little tune, panting and boop the shower water lever off</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you exit the shower to dry yourself and step on what seems to be a carrot</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you ponder for a moment, why would Angel horse have a peeled carrot on the washroom floor</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a sudden thought comes to you and you blush</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh, OH!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you quickly look for something else, not wanting to think further on magic talking horse anatomy</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you notice the washroom window is busted</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you assume the ballistic soap is perhaps miles away by now</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you sigh and finish drying yourself, also you succeeded to manually comb your mane back with your wings while it's still wet</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you would kill for some hands and hair gel right about now</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Come on down Anon, I've got your saddlebag ready!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you groan, remembering that you still have to go to magic horse elementary school today</span><br />&quot;Si, si, ayy'm on da wayy!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you exit the washroom and make your way down</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Angel horse was already waiting for you by the exit next to what seemed a white double sided knapsack abomination</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wait, you notice she was wearing something similar too on her back</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Come on over here Anon, so I can put this saddlebag on you back and we can get going.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Do ayy really hav' to wear ZAT!?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you point in disgust towards the knapsack abomination</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy scowls disapproving at your snobbish attitude and sternly stares towards you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes, every young colt and filly wears a saddlebag to school and so will you mister.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Ok, ok, I get it! I'll wear zis abominio difettoso!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you groan and make you way to Fluttershy and let her strap the saddlebag onto you back, just behind your wings</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;great</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;now you were not only a horse, but a working horse only a week after mastering walking</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;like a horse</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not that the weight was too much for you and it surprisingly fit your marshmallow pony anatomy well</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, it's only been about a week and already you look like a colt ready to be sent off for your first day of school, I'm so proud!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;n-not that you'll ever admit it tho</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've got your own pride</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy motioned you to exit while keeping while covering her expression with one hoof in what can only now be described as a happy yet close to sobby state</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;as you exit you avert your gaze for a moment to your old Vespa leaning on the porch</span><br />&quot;So-a, 'ow long befor we arrive?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ponyville is only a good 10 minute trot away, but knowing you're pace it'll take 20 minutes. Oh I know, how about a race? I'm not the fastest pony around. Betch'ya can beat be if you just try!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wow, Angel horse REALLY wants to see you get excited for this</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;however you don't share her enthusiasm or care</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've already had your share of schooling growing up back on earth</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;besides</span><br />&quot;If ayy'm going to be late anyways, ayy may as well be fashionably late and...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you sigh then momentarily point back towards the Vespa for Fluttershy as you pace with her</span><br />&quot;If I could be able to ride that oversized scooter in mai current state, ayy'd be able to get zere in less zan <span class="nu0">5</span> minutes presto!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;bushes suddenly rustled behind you along your path but dismissed it as merely one of Fluttershy's many wild pets going about their business</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, well I'm sure you'll be happy to know that once you learn to fly that you'll be able to match speed in no time.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Angel horse's adamant cheery attempts to suggest to you to always look towards the future positively has left a modest but tiny smile on you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you try your best to be less argumentative with her untill you reach Ponyville</span><br />&quot;So-a, what's in mai saddlebag?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;School supplies, a pair of textbooks, a pair of bits and the lunch I prepared for you.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you turn your neck around enough momentarily to sniff at your saddlebag but don't find any distinct smell other then that of text book</span><br />&quot;What's for lunch?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, my specialty. Cucumber and daisy sandwiches!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You turn your head away from here and gag in disgust</span><br />&quot;I zink ayy'd be able to find more taste in an English muffin.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you mutter</span><br />&quot;What was that?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;not currently wanting to argue with your caretaker about obviously inferior horse &quot;food&quot;, you quickly change subject</span><br />&quot;Sooo, ey tell me about-a your first day in school.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I-if your really want to know. I mean, it was so long ago.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Si, ayy do.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you really don't</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, when I was a little filly the first thing that happened that morning after waking up was opening my window completely to be greeted by the sun and darling birds blah blah, blah blah blah, blah blah...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this is going to be a long 10 minutes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you seem to be closer to the Ponyville's center some 15 minutes later</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;pacing behind a babbling Fluttershy, completely oblivious to your disregard of her times at school</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the trip wasn't all fruitless to you however</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've discovered a use for your wings</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;using the tips as ear plugs, it helped you drown out this mare's voice</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not that Fluttershy has ever caught your disinterest</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;whenever she looked back to make sure you kept up, you feigned whistling a tune, playing innocent and answering with the occasional &quot;Si si.&quot; or &quot;Oh really?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she seemed to be fairly excited to share her experience</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you almost feel bad for her</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;almost</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she suddenly turns to face an off-guard you with a cheerful smile and proclaims</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We've arrived!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you sweat as you quickly put on an act of you cleaning out your ears with your wings for a moment</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Uhm Anontonio, are you listening?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Ehh, si si! Ayy was just cleaning out my ears-a, I zink some wader remain from showering.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you take a look around you avoiding the conversation further</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're now standing in what seems to be a market square, bustling with ponies of all kinds and colors going about their day</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you can even distinguish some of the goods on sale despite their alien yet simple pastel colored shapes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you see baked good stands, kitchen appliance stands, tool stands, fruits and vegetable stands as far as your oversized horse eyes can see</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anon? Anontonio, this is your first time at the marketplace isn't it.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Si, ayy guess.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy points a fore-hoof towards an apple stand-wagon with a familiar orange mare wearing a cowboy hat pitching to sell apples</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'll be over there talking with Applejack for a moment, I know how excited you are to see Ponyville but you've still got to go to school. I'll let you explore the market place but stay close to the market square within my line of sight, ok?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Va bene, ayy'll look around.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you nod and trot towards a more opening in the market yet still in the limits Angel horse's sight</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you trot up to a cherry stand with a stern looking tan pegasus stallion wearing a cap and bow-tie manning it</span><br />&quot;Ughh ciao, do you sell cherrys?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes we do lil' colt! I saw you walkin up 'ere, eyeing the goods. Why, tell me is that yellow pegasus mare waving over there your mommy?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you turn momentarily and see Fluttershy waving mid conversation with the apple mare in acknowledgement of your position</span><br />&quot;Non non, she's actually my legal guardian-&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, have I got a special offer for you little colt!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the tan stallion cuts you off, pulls your head closer with his hoof and with a sly grin begins whispering in your ear</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Just for you, a special price! I'll sell a half-dozen cherries for a measly, oh I dunno 30 bits.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he then lets you go, expectantly waiting for a reply</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, waddya say colt?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you rub the back of your head in annoyance</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this confuses you, yet at the same time you have a gut feeling that something wasn't quite right here</span><br />&quot;Bitz? What are zese bitz you speak of?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;the stallion groans and rolls his eyes at you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Figures HER colt wouldn't even know about bits.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he mutters ignorant of you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ugh I just realized we don't serve foals, please come back when you've got bits with you.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you scowl as the stallion shoos you away dismissively</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;rude</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it's not your fault you don't know magic horse land customs</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you didn't even WANT to taste an alien pastel colored cherry</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;I-idiota!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you move along to the next stand with a big and dumb looking stallion with a scruffy mane manning it</span><br />&quot;Whad do you sell 'ere?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;the stallion answer with a goofy yet bluntly honest tone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Screws and screw accessories.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Zat it?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yep, just about. We got some nails and hammers inna back too.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you never would of guessed this horse with a screw loose seriously makes a living selling screws and nails at a stand</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you immediately remember the busted windows back at Fluttershy's cottage</span><br />&quot;You know~&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you point at Fluttershy and the apple mare with a hood</span><br />&quot;I zink zose ponies over zere may be in need-a of some nails. You should ask zem!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Gee, thanks colt! I'll go do that!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you watch the stallion leave his stall unattended and trek towards the mares</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wow, he's really trusting of you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you observe the vulnerable goods of the stall but find nothing of real interest to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;figures there's nothing you could even use except for maybe a hammer</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not that you'd take it anyways</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're not grabbing anything with your horse mouth</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you aren't some dirty animal peasant</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've been spoon-fed soup like a king for over a week already by Angel horse!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the soup could be better though</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you don't think you could go another week &quot;tolerating&quot; tomato soup</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;just because you have canines doesn't make you a vampire</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;or does it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you realize you still know very little of your current horse biology</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;perhaps going to school won't be so bad</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;perhaps you'll also be able to educate the uncultured horses on minestrone and cream soups in the near future</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you move on to the next stand</span><br />&quot;Whad do you sell?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;a unicorn mare with a bun mane and board expression answer with a sarcastic and grainy tone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What's it look like I'm selling!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you observe the stall and see nothing but rows of brooms, brooms for days</span><br />&quot;Brooms?<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Brooms, wanna buy!&quot;</span><br />&quot;For whad are they magic? Canna I ride on zem and fly like a strega or somezing?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No that's silly, they sweep. You got any bits!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;well EXCUSE ME how are you supposed to know magic horse land doesn't have magic brooms</span><br />&quot;Whad are bitz!?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Look colt!&quot; she says in a coarse tone &quot;You're wasting my time. If you're a foreigner that hasn't got any bits, then scram!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're angry</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you don't have to take this from this puttana</span><br />&quot;FINE!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you shout in a quaking tone, a third of the market's eyes on you and they all probably heard you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the mare before you visibly wide eyed and shocked</span><br />&quot;AN WHILE YOUR-A AT IT, VATTENE A SCOPARE WIZ YOUR BROOM, FICA!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stomp away angrily, leaving the shaking cunt hiding behind her stall</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you have half a mind to get that hammer and just to whack some respect into her</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you didn't expect to find so many stronzos in magic horse land besides donkey face</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ey colt, non e bello a parlare di altri in quello modo, lo sai?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a taunting yet cheery, girly voice calls out to you before a momentary giggle</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your eyes go wide and you stop moving, trying to register what you've just heard spoken</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;did some PONY just call out to you in your native language!?!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ey colt, chi ti ha insegnato a usare quelle parole cattive?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;another girly voice calls out to you, this one more reserved and cautious</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you begin to turn your attention to the source of the voices</span><br /><br />Continues in Adventures of Anontonio Day 11b: http://pastebin.com/bFE4WWXM<br /><br />I'm going to add music or theme references and translations at the bottom from now on:<br /><br />Shower L'Italiano song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVHvaKo15Pw<br />Angel Bunny's Shower perspective: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Me-VhC9ieh0<br /><br />Line # &amp; word translation, Italian to English:<br /><br /><span class="nu0">15</span>: No mom, another <span class="nu0">5</span> minutes.<br />merda = shit/poop/crap<br />lupo = wolf<br />birichino = little imp/mischievous/troublesome<br />porco diavolo = swine devil/dastardly pig<br />catzo = cock<br />ragu = a ground up meat sauce used often with pasta<br /><span class="nu0">188</span>: Go fuck yourself soap as well as whom ever made you.<br />abomnio = abomination<br />difettoso = defective<br />Vespa = a two stroked engine, seated and aluminum scooter made in Italy.<br />Va bene = very well/ok/all good/everything's fine<br />idiota = idiot<br />strega = witch<br />puttana = whore<br />minestrone = An Italian soup involving stock, vegetables and sometimes pasta<br /><span class="nu0">356</span>:And while you're at it why don't you go sweep with your broom, cunt! <span class="br0">&#40;</span>In Italian to sweep also means to fuck. So Anontonio is telling the broom mare to go fuck herself with her broom.<span class="br0">&#41;</span><br /><span class="nu0">360</span>: Ey colt, it's not nice to talk about others in that way/fashion, you know?<br /><span class="nu0">364</span>: Ey colt, who taught you to use such bad words/language?<br />Continued from: http://pastebin.com/84aS5ubm<br /><br />&quot;Chi chiede?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you call out, demanding a response while trying to discern the source of these voices</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Noi, chi vendiamo il piu maturo e piu dolce di pere, che si sciolgono sulla punta della tua lingua!&quot; answers the excited and cheery voice</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Si noi, che vendiamo i piu succosi di prugne sul nostro piccolo mercato modesto.&quot;a cat</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've never met another pony in horseland with that feature before</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;then again you've never met another pony in horse land that could speak with you in Italian besides Princess Sunnybuns</span><br />&quot;Voi due mi capisci?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Mmmhmmmmmm&quot; say the fillies in unison</span><br />&quot;E voi vendete i frutti?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Only the most plump of prunes, dear customer. They're a bit each.&quot; says the purple one, taking the lead</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Only the most succulent of pears, dear customer! Would you like to buy one cheap?&quot; says the tan pegasus as she begins to seem a little anxious to you, but keeps up her cheery disposition</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you may not know pony culture, but still you didn't expect something close to to child labor</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;fillies are horse children, right?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;why else would Angel horse and the other adult ponies you've spoken with so far not take you seriously otherwise while stating you as a colt?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;and from what you've come to understand from Angel horse is that young ponies go to school</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what are bitz?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;why are they speaking to you in English now?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;many questions run through your mind to ask these fillies that you can actually WANT to converse with for once</span><br />&quot;Tutto da soli alla tua eta? E, come ti chiami voi stessi?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you continue asking in Italian, unknowingly every time in a more inquisitive tone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you get the strange feeling that some ponies in the surrounding market are exchanging odd glances over your conversation</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the fillies ignore your question, turn towards each other and hold each others fore-hooves before muttering something to each other</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Pera~ Pera~ We just met this colt and already he's asking so many questions.&quot; states the purple one</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Prugna~ Prugna~ But this colt we just met may have come fresh off the boat!&quot; exclaims the tan pegasus</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a naive attempt to keep a conversation hidden from your prying horse ears</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you eavesdrop easily since your hearing is much more potent as a pony then when you were human</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;to think YOU of all people would find a boon from being turned into a magic talking horse</span><br />&quot;Ayy canna hear you, lo sai? Answer me, whad are bitz! We talking bitz of focaccia 'ere or whad?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You see? He has a saddlebag prepped for school and he doesn't even know what bits are for!&quot; says the tan one to the purple one as they both turn to face you again</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You see, bits is the name of the coin currency used to trade with here in Equestria.&quot; answers the purple one, obviously addressing you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the two fillies quickly trot up to you, catching you off guard as your wings stiffen in surprise</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm Pera, Sweet Pera!&quot; says the tan pegasus</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;And you may call me, Prugna.&quot; exclaims the purple one</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, don't be so SOUR sis!&quot; taunts Pera light heartedly followed by a short giggle</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;... I told you not to call me that.&quot; Prugna replies bluntly as a faint blush appears on her cheeks</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you watch frozen, trying to process the scene before you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We're twins! Now what's your name, peachy face?&quot; Pera ask between giggling in a mocking tone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We sell fruits here. Now why don't you introduce yourself?&quot; Prugna adds</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;get it together Anon they're just some clingy fillies</span><br />&quot;Ayyy-ughmm, I'm Anontonio. Anon for short-a.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ciao Anon, want to be friends?&quot; asked Pera</span><br />&quot;Ehh, sure? V-va bene!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you owed the twins at least some courtesy in response to answering your question about bits and they we're actually kind of nice company to talk to</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;especially compared to the older market cornuti you've met so far</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ciao Anon, aren't you on your way to school?&quot; asked Prugna</span><br />&quot;Si, actually ayya wanted to ask why you two are not at school?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, we're low on bits currently! Besides, me and Prugna's hours are rever~eeep!&quot; said Pera excitedly moments before Prugna plugged her sister's big mouth shut with a fore-hoof</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What Pera ment to say is that we're home schooled and enjoy the time we spend together living off the fruits of our labor.&quot; explained Prugna</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;these fillies seem to have something to hide from you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you, knowing that you still have to go school today, could care less and decide not to press into it</span><br />&quot;Well, ayy better get-a going. Ayy'm already late for school and Angel horse is probably don~&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Wait!&quot; interrupted Pera as you where about to turn around and walk away</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Wait?&quot; proclaimed Prugna with a slight hint of confusion in her tone</span><br />&quot;Eh?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Pera hesitated in front of the chuck wagon and grabbed a nice looking pear with her dextrous looking wing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;your jaw dropped, your mouth remained open for a moment</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you didn't know wings could do that!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;does this mean you yourself could possibly use your wings as a replacement for fingers?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;why didn't Fluttershy tell you they can be used like hands?!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;while you where day dreaming about all the things you could do with winglers, she trotted up to your left and slipped a pear into your left saddlebag pocket</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Too remember our friendship by! Promise to come play with us sometime and use your bits to buy a pear for lunch!&quot; says Pera before giving you a small peck on the left cheek to wake you from your trance and giggling at your dumbfounded expression</span><br />&quot;Huh? Ehh, grazie mille! I promise.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;what did you just promise this filly?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;also...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;WERE YOU JUST KISSED BY A LITTLE HORSE!?!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you were just joking about that with Fluttershy</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;and why are your wings stiff?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you want to master using them like hands!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;perhaps you can ask Pera or some pegasus to teach you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hear a shuffling coming from the saddlebag to your right side</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you turn your head only to see Prugna breathing heavily about an inch away from your face causing you to lean your head back from this sudden invasion of your personal space</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I too left you something for those canines to chew on.&quot;</span><br />&quot;G-grazie?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you answer slightly intimidated</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Whoa there A-non, you stay back from those fillies!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;che cosa?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you turn around to see Fluttershy and that familiar apple mare with a cowboy hat trot towards you from behind</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I-is something wrong Applejack? Did these fillies do something to Anon!&quot; injected angel horse in her confused but worried tone as she trotted around you and inspecting you for non-existent bruises</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Nah, but they likely wer' gonna! Good thing ah stepped in.&quot; �explained apple horse proudly</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What!? We would do no such thing to our new friend! Tell her Anontonio!&quot; shouted Pera with her cheeks now puffing in anger</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Wh-what? Uh, yes. We did not harm this colt...&quot; stated Prugna in a more reserved and hesitant tone</span><br />&quot;Y-yes, Pera and Prugna 'ave done nozing but be kind to me and-a even gave me free fruita!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you clear up hoping to end this strange misunderstanding</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh? How kind of-&quot; said Angel horse more relieved before being cut off</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What? Did ah just hear ya calling each other by yer first name!? Best you forget about them an, throw away that second hand fruit!&quot; shouted apple horse</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;are you missing something here?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Our pears and prunes are grown with all our amore and hard work-a.&quot; replied Pera while shaking one of her fore-hooves angrily</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hear her accent slip for the first time</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;just how dedicated could she be to hide it without ever going to school you wonder</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Our pears and prunes are freshly picked. You are the rotten apple here Applejack.&quot; zinged Prugna completely monotone but now with an unmoving glare</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Why ah otta! Why else would you sell em so cheap then, huh? You no-paper ay-liens should close shop an' return wit your wagon tuh dat pizza-place of yers were yah belong!&quot; argued Applehack</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;APPLEJACK, how could you! They're just fillies!&quot; stated Fluttershy appalled at her friend's rudeness</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh yea, Applejack was her name, like that one American cereal for bambini</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it's forgettable to you for some reason</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What? These ayy-tail-lians are big fillies an illegal hustlers! They only be here 'cause of their family connec-tion. Ah'm just looking out for young A-non is all.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wow you didn't know Applejack could be such a stronza</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not only is she now pinning this on you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;where was she when you were dealing with those cornuti broom and cherry sales-ponies?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;and did she just insult your people too?!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're angry again</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;AYY AM ITALIANO TOO AND-A AM ALSO ALIEN YOU PUTRIDA MELA E CAFONE!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You're a different kind of ay-lien, A-non an' quit yer fancy-speak. This here be 'questria, speak Equestrian. Sweet Celestia, Tis a good thing she decreed that you git a proper ed-ucation here!&quot; says Applesack dismissive of your comment, visibly exhausted from arguing with foals</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We should get going, Anon here is late for school.&quot; added Fluttershy, clearly waning the argument to end</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ah agree, 'bout time A-non meets some honest good foals like Applebloom. Might even help him earn his cutie mark. I'll steer him right when it's mah turn as his guardian anyway.&quot; answered Applefat</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;nope</span><br />&quot;LIKE HELLA WILL AYY GO ANYWHERE WI-&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she stuck a motherfucking apple in your mouth, shutting you up mid sentence</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she then picked you up with her powerful filthy jaws by the skin on the back of your neck despite your struggling flapping wings and dropped you over by where Fluttershy was waiting</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're REALLY getting sick of that</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the fruit stall twins sadly watch you get pulled away as you look back to them one more time</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Applejack huffs and returns to her stall without saying another word</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy, feeling a little sorry for you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gives you a push towards the direction of a path with her wing while keeping you from having to face Applejack or the twins for now and you start walking</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm sorry about Applejack, she's honest and does care for you but her traditions or stubbornness sometimes gets in the way.&quot; explained Fluttershy &quot;But, don't worry! I'm sure she'll grow out of it and you'll all be the best of friends in no time.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Mmhmmmm...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you groan sarcastically, scrunching as you still struggle to chew completely through the apple in your mouth</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;if you had a shit list, you're pretty sure you'd rate that illetterata as #2 after donkey-face of course</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you continue walking with Fluttershy to school while slowly breaking through the apple enough to eventually spit on the side of the road in frustration</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;some 5 minutes later, you arrive trailing alongside Fluttershy to what seems to be a fenced schoolhouse with a bell tower atop a grassy hill</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We're here Anon, Ponyville schoolhouse. Excited for your first day of school?&quot; said Fluttershy as she turned to face you with a smile</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you, you were scowling</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you honestly wanted this day to be over so you could do more productive things</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;things that interest you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;like sleeping or figuring out how to use your winglers</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy's smile dimmed a little, her worry was starting to show again to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You're not nervous are you? Everypony gets a little nervous won the first day, even me, but if you just give yourself a little push everything will be fine.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you eye the red wooden building up and down</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;hearts, hearts on the bell tower, hearts atop the window panels, on the skirts of the roofs and on the hands of the clock</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;hearts for days</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;che schifo</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you cringe, the only appealing feature to you was the white picket fence and roof panels reminding you of those made from terra cotta back in your homeland where appealing architecture actually exists</span><br />&quot;I-iz zis a school for fillies?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, is that all?&quot; Fluttershy looked relieved at your question as if expecting you to still be mad about that orange apple horse</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;which you were</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but you'll cross that bridge when you get there</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No, it's an school for both fillies and colts. Come on It'll be fine, I'll help you introduce yourself to the class!&quot; giggled Fluttershy as she gently pushed you along with her wing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you trot up the short wooden steps and Fluttershy opens the door by twisting the tip of her fore hoof with a little push and the classroom inside is revealed to you as you enter</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;~and that class is why Neighton chose carrot to symbolize mass times the change of velocity first divided by time.&quot; explained a grown mare with a cherry pink coat, emerald eyes and a two tone greyish pink poofy mane &quot;Oh, I didn't expect you to come late.&quot; she commented to Fluttershy who was now a little rosy on the cheeks</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;S-sorry wh-we were a little held up this morning at the market.&quot; answered fluttershy in embarrassment</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what was that you were saying giving yourself a push and not being nervous, huh Angel horse?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you thought with a smug smile</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the mare walks up to you and brings her face eye level to your with a cheery smile</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hello there, why aren't you a handsome looking little colt! Why, look that combed mane and those wing! They're so well developed for your age!&quot; greeted the mare</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you honestly have no idea if this horse was babying you, just being kind complimenting you or seriously hitting on you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Everypony please stand, we have a new student who will be joining our class from now on!&quot; shouted the mare to a group of fillies and colts</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes, miss Cheerilee!&quot; answered the students excitingly</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm miss Cheerilee and I'll be your teacher from now on.&quot; explained Cherry-pie now with a hoof to her chest and a proud smile &quot;Care to introduce yourself to the class?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she motioned you to walk in the direction of a small wooden podium probably used for teaching while you where still processing her silly name in your head</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're now standing on a wooden stool with your rear hooves and leaning on the podium with your fore hooves overlooking the class</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this actually isn't as uncomfortable as you expected</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you take in your surroundings</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the &quot;classroom&quot; looked slightly better on in the inside, there where bookshelves, a telescope, a globe, school supplies, a blackboard, white painted walls with green paneling around the windows, one of which seems to be be a stain glass depiction of one of the students there were a dozen slanted desks with ANOTHER heart design carved in them crudely laid out in rows of four, ten of which were occupied, occupied by a fruity colored bunch of little horses that is, the majority of the students seemed to fillies and the floor...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the &quot;floor&quot; is hay, hay as in the merda a cow would eat or in this case a horse</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;it made you feel dirty</span><br />&quot;Class? Wher' iz dis-a class? I see no class here!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Uhm, Anon?&quot; injected Fluttershy, knowing of your difficult attitude &quot;This is a classroom, one of which Princess Celestia decreed that you will attend.&quot; now with a little more sternness in her voice</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Celestia!&quot; some fillies interrupted and began whispering among each other before being shushed by miss Cheerilee and simply continued to stare towards you with interest</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Now why don't you finish Introducing yourself to the nice fillies and colts here.&quot; hinted miss Cheerilee</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you thought when you were being covered no expense of your own by some sun goddess horse when you where decreed to go to a school, that it would be at least as classy as her castle</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;damn horse public schools</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;basta Anon, you may as well get this over with</span><br />&quot;Ascolta bene, voi piccoli farfanti!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;He speaks fancy?&quot; interrupted one yellow filly with a red ribbon</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;He must be some kind of foreign noble!&quot; injected another pink filly with a silly tiny tiara atop her mane</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ughh, what's that mean?&quot; asked one tall and lanky mango colored unicorn colt with a dumb expression on his face</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh right, this is horse-America</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you guess most young ponies don't understand Italian like those twins from the market</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what a shame</span><br />&quot;It MEANS shut your-a trap and let me continue, cornuto!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What's a corn-auto?&quot; interrupts another unicorn colt, this one light blue, short, fat and stubby with who seemed to contrast in color with that first unicorn colt</span><br />&quot;YOU ARE! NO MORE-A QUESTIONS UNTIL AYY FINISH!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;as you shout some cracks form on the edges of the windows soon followed by you slamming the podium with one of your hooves</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the classrooms becomes quietly tame now, all eyes fixed on you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy taps your shoulder</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you turn your neck to face her</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's ok Anontonio, you don't have to get nervous. This is why I'm here to help!&quot; cooed the Angel horse</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you didn't notice that you where borderline snarling and that your wings were full mast almost threatningly</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you perceive that the whole class seemed to be directly observing your wings and teeth</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you calm yourself a little as Fluttershy now addresses the class</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Everypony, this colt here is Anontonio. He will be joining your class every week.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you take a breath and introduce yourself more calmly</span><br />&quot;Si, I am Anontonio. You puledri may call me Anon if zat is too difficult for you. I come 'ere to do my required time and no more-a.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;to you, this may as well be prison</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;an educational zoo</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you want to follow your interests</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy clears her voice and continues</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;As you can see, Anon here is a foreigner. His first language is Itaillian, so he has a hard time communicating with others.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you roll your eyes at Flutter's comment but don't feel like arguing with her</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;after all she's been mostly kind towards you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;not to mention that you get easily exhausted around idiots and judging from your experience at the market, Equestria must be full of them</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Please, just try be kind to him and I'm sure you'll make great friends!&quot; Fluttershy then turns to miss Cheerilee &quot;I leave him in your teaching for now. Please take care.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Don't worry Fluttershy, I'm sure everything will be just fine.&quot; said Cheerilee then turning to face you &quot;Anon, why don't you sit down there behind Applebloom and next to Sweetie Belle&gt;&quot; she points to the left hand most seat in the second row with a hoof</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy waves goodbye before leaving as you make your way to the desk</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Applebloom, where have you heard that name from?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you think as you approach the desk behind the filly with the adorable little red bowtie and next to another one who happens to be a white unicorn who seems to have a similar dyed design on her flank from the first</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you approach the stool behind your selected desk and simply drop your horse ass onto it before making yourself comfortable wit the desk</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey Anontonio, I'm Sweetie Belle. Want to join our club, the cutie mark crusaders?&quot; whispered the white unicorn filly excitedly as you turned to face her</span><br />&quot;Che cosa?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you say confused as you face her for a moment before facing whatever was causing that spittle behind you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Pssst, psst! Hey, hey Anon! Are you a vampony?&quot; slobbered the dumb mango cornuto who was sitting in the desk behind you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you grunt, dismiss and ignore the distractions as you lean your head with your fore-hoof on the table</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;eyeing miss Cheerilee and patiently waiting for the class to continue</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Attention everypony, we will now move on to our next lesson! Quiet down please.&quot; shouted the horse teacher</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Meno male!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Today we'll be revisiting our important lesson on Cutie Marks!&quot;</span></div></div>




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