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				<a id="mw-mf-last-modified" data-timestamp="1476655507" href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php/Special:History/A_Place_to_Call_Home" data-user-name="HotRobotSlave" data-user-gender="unknown" class="top-bar truncated-text">Last modified on 16 October 2016, at 22:05</a>		<script>
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			<h1 id="section_0">A Place to Call Home</h1><ul id="page-actions" class="hlist"><li id="ca-edit" class="icon icon-32px icon-edit" title="Edit the lead section of this page."></li><li id="ca-talk" class="hidden icon icon-32px icon-talk"><a href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php?title=Talk:A_Place_to_Call_Home&amp;action=edit&amp;redlink=1" title="Discussion about the content page [t]" accesskey="t">Discussion</a></li><li id="ca-watch" class="watch-this-article icon icon-32px"><a href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php?title=Special:UserLogin&amp;returnto=A+Place+to+Call+Home" title="Add this page to your watchlist [w]" accesskey="w"></a></li></ul>		</div>
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</div><h3><span class="mw-headline" id="A_Place_to_Call_Home">A Place to Call Home</span><a href="A_Place_to_Call_Home#/editor/1" title="Edit section: A Place to Call Home" data-section="1" class="edit-page icon icon-32px icon-edit enabled">Edit</a></h3><div>
<div dir="ltr" class="mw-geshi mw-code mw-content-ltr"><div class="gettext source-gettext">&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Work had always put you in a bad mood.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Everyday, some new frustration would be seeded into your thoughts, and bloom during the bus ride and walk home.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Today was no different.</span><br />Stupid classmates. I learned my lesson. I already apologized. What more do they want?<br />And Twilight. What does she care that I make friends? She already punished me enough.<br />Thank Celestia it's finally summer. I don't have to see any of those losers for another three months.<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Even though you hated being in this mood, the trip home served as a venting period for you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It was a good way to get everything out so when you arrived home, you could relax.</span><br />Those jerks. I could totally be friendly if they just stopped treating me like crap. I get it, I was a bad person. I'm sorry, okay. I've said it a million times. Now let me help you out with your stupid homework or something.<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your second floor apartment was in sight when you spotted a small basket in front of your door along with a hooded person at the end of the hallway.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you reach it, you see an infant lying inside, wrapped up in a blanket.</span><br />&quot;What the?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;The person at the end of the hallway speeds away.</span><br />&quot;Hey! Get back here!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You sprint after them and chase them down to the stairs.</span><br />&quot;You're not dumping your kid on me!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your body was tired from work, and not ready for this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As they reach the bottom of the stairwell, they dash out the side door.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Once you make it to the door, the hooded person is entering a white sedan.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You kick the door out of your way, and give one last push to catch up to them.</span><br />&quot;Take your kid back, asshole!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;But as you sprint, the car speeds off.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Panting, you throw out slurs and insults to the mystery person.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You take your time walking back to your apartment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Before you can even make it to your floor, you can hear crying.</span><br />&quot;Great.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You open the door to your apartment and look down at the still crying infant.</span><br />&quot;I meant what I said. I'm not taking care of you.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You slam the door shut behind you.</span><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can still hear the baby crying through the door.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You make a microwave dinner, and try to continue your night just as usual, just with the TV volume turned up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You weren't even allowed to have that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's a pounding at the door.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You open it to be greeted by an angry neighbor.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Is this your fucking kid?&quot;</span><br />&quot;No, it's not. It was-&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you leaving it out here?&quot;</span><br />&quot;That's none of your business.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You bet your ass it's my business. When I can't fucking sleep because you neglect your child and put it out in the fucking hallway, it becomes my business.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Listen to me. This. Isn't.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;The man leans in, placing his finger on your chest.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You know what? I ought to call the fucking police on you for fucking child abuse.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That was not going to be acceptable.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Forging paperwork to get into a school was one thing, but having the police asking questions, and finding out you had no paperwork proving you were even from this world was going to lead to problems.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your face must have given it away to him.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yeah, you don't like that? Now take care of your fucking kid. And if I see you pull something like this again, I WILL call the police on you. Got it?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You don't respond to him, and just bring the basket inside.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You set the basket in your bedroom and go back to ignoring it, but that only works for so long.</span><br />I'm going to have to sleep soon.<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You go into your room in an attempt to fix the baby and its problems.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You inspect it, but there's nothing obviously wrong with it.</span><br />&quot;What is wrong with you?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You halfheartedly try to play peek-a-boo, but that doesn't get a response.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You reach underneath it, and try to lift, but that only makes the crying worse.</span><br />&quot;Fine, fine, fine. Jeez.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Immediately, you set it back down.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You tighten your fists and grunt.</span><br />&quot;What is wrong with you!?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You storm off and sit back on the couch when you notice your food.</span><br />Maybe it's hungry.<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You grab your food and take it back to the kid.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You make an attempt to feed it, and to your relief, food is what it wants, but there's a problem.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It can't get its mouth around the spoon, or the food.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You go into the kitchen, smash up a small bit of the food, and look for a utensil small enough for the baby, but come up empty.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Unable to take anymore of the crying, you figure feeding from your pinky would be good enough.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The baby happily eats, and only momentarily calms down until the crying begins again.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You open up the diaper make two discoveries: the source of the crying, and that the baby is a little boy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You bring the baby to the kitchen, setting him onto the cold counter top.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Unable to reuse the disposable diaper, you make yourself resourceful, making a diaper out of an old washcloth with two safety pins to hold it together, and flour for talcum powder after cleaning him up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It isn't long before the crying starts up again.</span><br />&quot;What is it now? I've fed you, and cleaned you. What more do you want?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You bring the babe over your shoulder.</span><br />&quot;Come on, you little runt. Have fun. Is that what you want?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You bounce the baby up and down for several minutes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The crying stops once you feel a wet warmness run down the backside of your shoulder.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You pull the baby up, and inspect his face.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's dripping with vomit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Slowly, you set him back in his basket, walk to the living room, closing the bedroom door behind you, and grabbing a couch pillow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You bury your face into the pillow and scream your lungs out.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You scream until your throat hurts, then walk back into the bedroom to swap for a clean shirt.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You lean over the infant, bringing your face up to his.</span><br />&quot;I hate you. So. Much. Right. Now.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're fuming, but with the problems dealt with, you figure you could take what little time left between now and bed, and relax.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He's quiet the rest of the night, and you find when getting ready for bed, that he's sleeping as well.</span><br /><br />Finally. Just do this for the rest of the night.<br /><span class="co4">&gt;As you brush your teeth, a thought occurs.</span><br />He's just going to do all this again tomorrow. I'm going to need some more diapers and other baby stuff.<br />Eh. I can get it in the morning.<br />Is he going to make it to morning though?<br /><span class="co4">&gt;With your assessment of tonight's events, you figure that this silence wasn't going to last long.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You take advantage of his sleeping, and make a quick trip to the store.</span><br /><br />...<br /><br />&quot;So, what do babies need?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Babies? They need lots of things: love, care, attention, affection, warmth, safety-&quot;</span><br />&quot;I mean, as in stuff I can buy?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You shoot the worker a look to let her know you don't have time for her conversation.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, well; let's see, diapers, baby powder, baby food, baby formula - if you don't want to do the whole breastfeeding thing - some bottles, a crib, some clothes, a car seat if you plan on traveling, some blankets, some toys.&quot;</span><br />&quot;What would I need to make it through a night?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She nudges you with her elbow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You'd need your sanity.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;While she laughs at her own joke, you just raise an eyebrow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Right: food, formula, bottles, diapers, and powder. And maybe some wet wipes.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Thank you.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;As you drag your shopping cart in search of the baby aisle, the worker speaks up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ma'am, are you expecting a child of your own?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Uh, no?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Okay.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Under her breath, she mumbles.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thank God.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You give your shopping cart the death grip.</span><br />That bitch. Does she think I can't take care of a kid? I can totally take care of one. I'm doing it right now.<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You buy the necessary items, and hurry back home.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you arrive, you make sure to enter quietly.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The baby is still sleeping in his basket, vomit still on his face.</span><br />Gross.<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You grab toilet paper from the bathroom, and use that to clean his face.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Touching him though, wakes him up.</span><br />&quot;No no no no no no no. Please don't wake up.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;He doesn't start crying, but from the looks of him, he does seem agitated.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You sigh in frustration.</span><br /><br />&quot;Well, I guess I can take the time and give you a real diaper now that I have one, so you don't ruin my stuff.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You lift him out of the basket, placing the blanket that came with him on the bed, and laying him on it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He puts up only a little fuss as you change his makeshift diaper for a disposable one.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Once that's done, you set him back in his basket.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You sit on the edge of your bed and watch him kick his arms and legs about.</span><br />&quot;I need to get rid of you.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;He stares back at you, as if trying to figure out who this mystery woman was in front of him.</span><br />&quot;Can you stay like this the rest of the night?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You pick up the basket, and carry him to the guest bedroom.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You had left it barren, unsure of what to do with it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You set the baby in the center, leaving him to kick about in freedom, letting you sleep in peace.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That was until the door was shut.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As soon as you had left, he started wailing again.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You pound your head with your fists and barge into the room.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You fall to your knees next to the wicker crib, letting out a whine.</span><br />&quot;What more do you want?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You sit down cross-legged and pull him from the basket into your arms.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Cradling the baby, you rock him gently back and forth.</span><br />&quot;Lullaby, and goodnight. Go to sleep, you little shit stain. Rock a bye, and goodnight, I don't want my neighbors to complain.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Giving up on improvising more words, you resort to simply humming the melody.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You rock and hum, and soon he falls asleep.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You set him back in the basket and simply look at him.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You couldn't be angry at him now; you didn't have the energy to be angry now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What little energy you did have was just enough to crawl into your own bed in the other room.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With the blessing of the universe, the baby, and consequentially, you, slept through the rest of the night.</span><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The next morning, you woke up groggy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You take a moment to listen, and find that there's no crying.</span><br />&quot;Thank Celestia.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You go about your morning in silence, but to no avail.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The crying starts up again when you start your shower.</span><br />I can deal with it later.<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You continue your routine and check on the baby only after you finish breakfast.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You run through the checklist of the essentials: food, diaper, boredom.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The problem was none of them, but in fact discomfort.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Once you brought him into your arms, and loosened the blanket around him, he was content.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Any attempt at setting him back would result in more crying.</span><br />&quot;Look, bub. I can't carry you around all day. I do have to go to work today.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You look down at his basket and see that the bottom is frayed and dirty.</span><br />&quot;Jeez. No wonder you're so pissy.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;With a single hand, you dump the basket, and pat the bottom down.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You take the blanket and fold it up to form a makeshift bed for him.</span><br />&quot;I'm surprised you even slept.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You set him back inside.</span><br />&quot;Better?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;He didn't cry, so that was an acceptable answer for you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You leave him alone, but before you can make it out of the room, the baby starts mumbling.</span><br />&quot;What?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You come back and set beside him.</span><br />&quot;What is it now?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Being nearer to him settles him down.</span><br />&quot;Done?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You stand up, and once again, he mumbles and kicks about.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Getting further away only makes him noisier.</span><br />&quot;Fine.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You bring the basket in with you to the living room, setting him next to you on the couch.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Turning on the television catches his attention.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It keeps him distracted, leaving you to go about your own thing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You go into the kitchen to check your work schedule for the day.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You weren't scheduled to go in until noon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Coming back out, you watch the boy stare at the television, completely absorbed.</span><br />&quot;You know, you wouldn't be that bad if this was all you did.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;But sadly, he needed more than a television.</span><br />What am I going to do with him when I'm at work? He's going to throw a fit eventually.<br />For that matter, where am I going to dump him?<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The first thought was to pass him onto another home.</span><br />What are the odds that you end up giving him back to the people who pawned him off on you?<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You laugh at the the idea, but in all reality, they'd just dump him at some other doorstep, or perhaps something more gruesome if they were desperate.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If something were to happen to that kid, and it made the news, your neighbor would surely be making phone calls.</span><br />What to do? What to do?<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Pawning him off was still an option though, so you kept it in the back of your mind.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But before you could figure out an endgame, you needed to figure out what to do with him while you were at work.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And before that, you needed to make sure he was going to make it to that time.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Having taken care of his comfort issues, you run through the essentials a second time.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He does exactly what you expect him to do: eat, burp, and soil himself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Once those were taken care of, you both take a moment to relax and watch TV.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There was a small hint of pride mixed with relief for having dealt with these issues before he started making those awful noises.</span><br />Okay. Now what to do with you while I'm gone. I could get a babysitter. Neighbors? No, I don't really know any of them. Classmates? Definitely no. That's only going to raise more questions. Even Rarity and them are hesitant to trust me.<br /><span class="co4">&gt;A daycare was the best solution you came up with.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You initially thought that a few hours was going to be plenty of time to find a daycare, but you were mistaken.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Every daycare you called had something wrong with it: limited hours, a waiting list, a need for an interview, too far away, or absurd prices.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Through the grapevine, you did come to hear of an old lady who didn't advertise in the phone book and ran her daycare out of her home.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her prices weren't the best, but she was just a few blocks away, kept her daycare open late, and was available for clients.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It wasn't ideal, but it was the best fit for you.</span><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You were accustomed to distant walks, but not to carrying around ten pounds while doing so.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You also weren't accustomed to the passing glances made at you along the way.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Some people looked the other way, some stared, but everyone at least caught a glance.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Occasionally, you'd catch them whispering to one another.</span><br />It's not mine. Assholes.<br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you arrive at the home of the old lady, whose name you never bothered to remember, you get a different response.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hello! You must be the girl who called earlier, and...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She gasps at the sight of what was in your arms.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Who's this little guy?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Without even asking, she lifts him from your arms.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Aren't you just precious?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He smiles and giggles, more happy to be with her than with you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;And you, such a pretty young thing.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Right. So, thirty dollars for the day, and I can pick him up at eight-thirty tonight?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Sure thing, deary. I'm old. I don't need to be anywhere. And don't you worry. He'll be taken care of.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her smile is so wide looking at him, and his own smile matches hers.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For the first time since you've had him, you heard him laugh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That was infinitely more pleasant than the insufferable crying.</span><br />Maybe I could just leave him with her and not come back. No. She has my number. I couldn't get away with it. Though, she may know someone.<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You give yourself an innocent voice.</span><br />&quot;Can I ask you a question?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Sure thing, honey.&quot;</span><br /><br />&quot;Would you be willing to take care of him?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She cocks her head to the side.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What do you mean?&quot;</span><br />&quot;As in keep him.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What? What for?&quot;</span><br />&quot;I can't take care of him.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, honey. I know it's tough, but we've all been through this. You can do it. And besides, I'm old. I can't raise another kid. I'd die before he'd even be old enough to drive me to the hospital.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Well, do you know of anyone who'd be willing to adopt him?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm sorry, but I can't think of anyone right now, but I'll certainly ask.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Thank you.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;With her free arm, she pulls you in for a hug.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I understand what you're going through, and it's really hard. I get that, but you're such a sweet girl. I'd hate to see a girl like you be separated from her kid just because of circumstances.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She pulls back from you, keeping her hand on your shoulder.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We all make mistakes, and do wild things when we're young, and you may think that you can never recover from this, but it's in these times that we find the strength to do things we never thought possible. You have an opportunity to build a deep, loving, relationship. It really would be a shame if you let that chance pass you by.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For the first time since you've been in this world, someone treated you with decency, and didn't assume the worst in you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe it's because she hadn't heard about the she-demon of Canterlot High.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Or, maybe she did.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You like to think that she was talking about something other than the baby.</span><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Work, once again, took it's usual toll on you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It took fighting every fiber of your being to not walk straight home from the bus stop and pretend you didn't have a responsibility to take care of.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The old lady went on and on about how wonderful your son was, and how much she enjoyed having him there.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You didn't see it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Right now, all he did was get in the way, and put you on bad terms with a neighbor.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;On the bright side to all her jabbering, you did pick up a few tricks that would help manage him.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Some toys would keep him busy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Making a schedule for feeding, changing, burping, and naps; and sticking to it would remove a lot of guesswork when crying happens.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She even showed you a trick to get him to fall asleep faster, and you were all about making sure that he got his naps.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She reassured you that breastfeeding was the best way to build trust and affection.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And you reassured her that you were not about to breastfeed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The walk home presented plenty of opportunities to set the baby at a doorstep, and walk away.</span><br />Come on, it's nighttime. Any of these houses will due. Just pick one. No one will even know it was you.<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You did make a few attempts at approaching a house, but they were all cut short by something: a porch light would turn on before you could make it to the door, there would be a car driving by, or someone walking by.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It didn't help that the baby had woken up, and would probably burst into tears the moment you left him.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You made several brushes with ditching him, but wasted every chance you had by the time you got home.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In reality, none of those things stopped you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You could have rang the doorbell to any of those homes, and sprinted away before anyone would have made it to the door.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's the same reason you didn't just leave him in the street.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You sat down on the couch with him in your arms.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You decided to try that trick the old lady showed you to get him to fall asleep.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You place your hand on his head, and gently rub.</span><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He groans, and fusses, fighting to stay awake, but he succumbs to the comfort eventually.</span><br />&quot;I still don't like you, and I can't wait to get rid of you, but you at least deserve to live someplace where people want you around. Everyone does, really.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You keep rubbing his head for good measure.</span><br />&quot;I could leave you at a lot of places, but maybe they'd want you even less than I do, and just pass you on to someone else, or the authorities who would stick you in some orphanage, or send you back with your parents, who definitely don't want you, and you don't deserve that. You haven't done anything wrong except be a huge bother.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You bring him to his basket in the bare room.</span><br />&quot;And you probably don't deserve to have a crumbling basket for a bed.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You do your best to fix the blanket for him, and set him in.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A week went by.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Every morning would start with crying.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Everyday, you'd come home from work in a bad mood.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The old lady would yammer on about how good your son was.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You'd walk home with him, thinking about how much easier it would be, and how much more money you'd have if you just dumped the damn kid.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But you never did.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wanted to leave him, but you did have some standards.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Every night when he went to sleep, you'd go to the store to buy things that would make your life a little easier.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A toy here and there, a spare shirt, a pacifier.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You had even bought a small crib that you could sell to whoever took him in.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He was starting to take a toll on your paycheck.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Any money you had been saving up was being spent towards him.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You needed to find a home for him soon before real sacrifices had to be made.</span><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wake up, and take your morning shower.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Like clockwork, the crying started.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You could make him wait until your morning routine was done before you tended to his needs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You had a hunch that the crying had more to do with him wanting attention than him being hungry, though he never turned down the offer for food.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After taking care of him, and setting him in front of the TV, leaving you to get a breakfast for yourself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But that arrangement doesn't seem satisfactory for him anymore.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You examine him and his surroundings.</span><br />&quot;What's wrong this time? You ate, and you don't smell like you have a problem.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You double check his diaper anyways.</span><br />&quot;Yep, you're good there.&quot;<br />Maybe his food didn't sit well.<br />&quot;Hold on.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You grab a rag from the kitchen, sling it over your shoulder, and prop the baby up in your arms, his mouth just above the rag.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You give him a gentle bouncing and pat him on the back.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It takes a couple minutes, but he does let out a burp.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That still doesn't seem to fix the problem.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He's not in dire need of something, but there is something he wants.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You set him back down, as well as yourself.</span><br />&quot;Come on, buddy. What more do you want?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You grab one of the toys lying about and shake it in front of him.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That gets a little reaction from him, but not much.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You listen to him moan and groan, trying to analyze things.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Neither the TV or toys are keeping him distracted.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You decide that maybe you could give it a shot.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You bring your hand to his stomach, and give it a brief, energetic tickle.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He becomes silent and looks at you for a moment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When his attention fades, you tickle his stomach again and accompany it with a little noise with your mouth.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That grabs his attention again.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You do it a third time, this time anticipating it with an audible inhale.</span><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With each time you do it, he reacts more positively.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With each positive reaction, you tickle him with a bit more enthusiasm.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You go for another tickle, taking an extra long time with the anticipation.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you place your hand on him, he bursts into a smile with laughter.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You went on like this for fifteen minutes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It didn't matter how many times you did it, or how long you waited, he would be giddy when you tickled him.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In a way, it was kind of amusing to see.</span><br />&quot;So, TV bores the crap out of you, but this is the most interesting thing in the world to you? You are so stupid.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Admittedly though, it wasn't the worst way to kill time.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In all honesty, you were getting little bored of the TV too.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The only downside to playing with him was that it only made him want more.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Leaving his sight made him act up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When tickling lost its luster for you, you tried other activities like clapping his hands, peddling his legs, and playing peek-a-boo, among other things with varying degrees of success.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When all those were exhausted, you opted to just carry him in your arms to keep him content.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Work time was approaching, and any attempt at leaving him still made him act up.</span><br />&quot;Remember way back when you did this, and I told you that I can't carry you around all day because I have work?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You look down at his blank expression.</span><br />&quot;Of course you don't. But it's still true. I can't carry you around all day, bub.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You set him back down in his little basket and let him throw his fit.</span><br />&quot;You're just going to have to deal with it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;The rest of the morning was a test in patience and fortitude.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In the end, it was a stalemate.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He never settled down, and you only picked him up again when it was time for work.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;His attachment didn't fade on the way to the daycare, nor did it fade when you arrived.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you hand him to the old lady, he reaches out to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh look, he misses his mother!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It didn't matter how many times someone thought you were his mother, it still bothered you.</span><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You reach out, and pet his head.</span><br />&quot;Don't worry. I'll be coming back after work. I always do.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You look back at the old lady.</span><br />&quot;Have you found anybody yet?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She shakes her head in disappointment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Sorry, I haven't. I've asked, but not many folks are looking to take in another child.&quot;</span><br />&quot;I understand.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I promise, I'll let you know as soon as I find someone.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She gives you a reassuring smile.</span><br />&quot;Thanks.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Work didn't take its usual toll on you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You were too preoccupied with other thoughts.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You calculated how much money you had spent in the last week, and how much longer you could keep this up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You had spent months saving up little bits here and there, and in just one week, you had spent what little of your paycheck you had left after living expenses was thrown at taking care of an infant.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You hadn't taken much out of savings, but even one dollar was one more than you wanted to.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A lot of the big purchases had already been made: rent, groceries, utilities.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But if the baby kept digging into your paycheck like he was, then next month's rent and utilities was going to drain your savings dry.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That really didn't give you much time.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you arrive home, you immediately tuck him into bed, then go back to the living room to watch TV and make an attempt to relax.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You flip through channels, half-attentive to what's going on.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You were more focused on coming up with ways to make the money you had stretch for as long as possible.</span><br />Maybe I could get a second job, or ask for more hours.<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thirty five hours a week wasn't bringing enough money, but you weren't going to be able to get more hours.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You had already been given more hours for summertime, but your manager wasn't going to allow more.</span><br />Is a second job going to even do me any good? It'll take a couple weeks to find one, then have several days of training, and therefore almost no pay, which just means more days I'm spending money for daycare without making anything.<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You pound your head.</span><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If you couldn't find someone to take this kid, you were going to have to bite the bullet, and recoup the costs some other way.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe sell some of your things.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That, or succumb to simply giving him up.</span><br />Maybe an orphanage would be best.<br /><span class="co4">&gt;That thought dwelt in your mind for hours, keeping you up past your normal bedtime.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you checked the time, it was just past midnight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The buses still rant this late.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You grab the phone book used to find a daycare, and look up an address to write down.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;One long walk, bus ride, and another walk later, you were standing in front of it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You were certain it was some sort of old school until you double checked the address you had written down.</span><br />This is it, I guess.<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You had lost track of time at this point, but you were certain it was between one and two.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You brought extra clothes for him, as well as some of his toys.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You had also brought a note, with only two words: I'm sorry.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You made sure that he was asleep.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You walk up to the large wooden door.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;All the lights inside are turned off.</span><br />Should I knock?<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You sit down on the doorstep, placing the basket beside you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You brush the dirt and small bits of wicker from your lap.</span><br />&quot;Just so you know: it's not because I hate you.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You gently pet his sleeping head.</span><br />&quot;I don't know if I can take care of you. I mean, who knows how long it'll be before someone shows up to adopt you? You wouldn't be living a good life. So, please don't hate me, though if you do, I won't blame you. You wouldn't be the first.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You sit in silence for a few minutes.</span><br />&quot;And I'm sorry about that first night, when I said I hated you. I'm not sorry that I said it, so much as I'm sorry that I meant it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;It was getting late, and you needed to get home to sleep.</span><br />&quot;I don't hate you. At least not anymore.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You stand up and walk away.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you reach the sidewalk, you look back at him in his basket, and reflect on what you were about to do.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You were going against what you considered your better judgement, and knew it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You didn't know what the following days, weeks, or possibly even months were going to bring, but you at least knew for tonight he was going to be safe back in his crib in the guest bedroom.</span><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Another two weeks had gone by.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As you had expected, some cuts had to be made.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You had done some napkin math, and found that with the upcoming paycheck, and what you had left in savings was going to be enough to cover next month's rent, and maybe utilities if you were lucky.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You had to make what food you had left last until then, so you cut back your meals from three to only two a day.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Some days, you only ate once.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You had to shut the AC off, and rely on opening the windows to keep the apartment cool.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Everyday, you would come home to a sweltering apartment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The heat made every night a challenge to get him to fall asleep, and for you to do the same.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Getting fewer, less restful, hours of sleep had an impact on both you and him.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You noticed bags forming under your eyes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You stopped caring about your looks, and simply pulled your hair back into a ponytail, and put on clothes for comfort when you didn't have to go to work.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With less sleep, and less food, you became less attentive to the world around you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your actions never felt like conscious decisions; they felt like automatic responses.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He would wake up every morning, more cantankerous than ever.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He required more of your attention and time.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Aside from his sleeping, you didn't change anything about the baby's life.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He still got his meals at the right time.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You still made him take his naps.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You never resorted to reusing old diapers.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And despite the changes you had experienced, the only thing the old lady ever commented on was that your baby had become more needy over the last few days.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She either didn't notice the changes you had made, or knew all too well what you were going through and didn't feel the need to say anything.</span><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Once again, you woke to the sound of crying.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He didn't even wait to hear the sound of the shower starting today.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You look at your alarm clock.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You had a few minutes before you needed to be up anyways.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You lay in bed, thinking of how much longer you could get away with staying right where you are.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A shriek from the other room answers that thought with &quot;not long.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You walk into his room and pull him from his crib.</span><br />&quot;What's wrong, bub?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You rock him back and forth, and shush him.</span><br />&quot;It's okay. I'm right here.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;By the time you get him calmed down, your alarm goes off in the other room.</span><br />&quot;Oh, come on.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You set him back in his crib, and rush to your room.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You fiddle with the alarm, but hit all the wrong buttons trying to find the off switch.</span><br />Come on, you piece of shit. Just turn off already.<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your patience is running too thin this morning.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fed up with the alarm, you rip it from the outlet and hurl it at the wall.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It crashes against the wall, then is followed by crying from the other room.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;At first you felt relieved to stop the noise, but that subsided and the crying turned that feeling into a twinge of guilt.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You go back into the other room and pick the boy up again.</span><br />&quot;I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You set down on the floor with him in your arms.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You go through the routine again of calming him down.</span><br />&quot;It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you. I just get mad and do stupid things sometimes.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Even after he settles, you continue to talk to him, and pet his head to make things up to him.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For a few minutes, you had lost track of time, but soon you remembered you had other responsibilities to tend to.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not wanting to leave him alone, you take him and his basket into your bedroom with you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You made sure to stay in his line of sight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As uncomfortable as it was, you stayed with him while you undressed for your shower.</span><br />&quot;You're not going to remember this, are you?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;He just gives you a blank stare.</span><br />&quot;Good.&quot;<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You enter your shower, and poke your head out to make sure he doesn't throw a fit while you cease to exist inside his world.</span><br />He'll be fine. He's been through worse.<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Still, you wanted to reassure him somehow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You hum a familiar tune.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You didn't feel entirely comfortable at first singing the words, but they came out eventually.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;They started out as mumbles.</span><br />&quot;...got a smile...seems to me...childhood memories.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;But you couldn't help but sing with a full voice.</span><br />&quot;Now and then, when I see his face, he takes me away to that special place...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you finish your song, and your shower, you're greeted by a smiling baby, which pulls a smile out of you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It was nice for once to have someone happy to see you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Being naked in front of him was easier the second time around when you had to get dressed for the day.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As you continue your morning routine, you keep him in sight at all times.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The walk to the daycare had become harder each day.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Lack of sleep and calories kept your muscles from ever making a full recovery from the previous day.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Every step on the concrete sent a small shock wave through your legs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The only part that got easier was the glances from others.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;People had either stopped catching looks at you, or you were simply too tired to notice or care if they did.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you arrive at the daycare, the old lady says something you didn't expect to hear.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I found a couple.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;While you stand there in confusion, she takes the child from you.</span><br />&quot;What?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;There's another gal I babysit for, and she works with a lady. Her and her husband have been looking to adopt for a while now. I didn't want to say anything earlier to get your hopes up, just in case, but I talked to them over the phone, and they seem pretty serious about it. They wanted you to stop by their home and meet with them.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A sense of relief washes over you.</span><br />&quot;Are they good people?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;They seemed like it.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You let out a weak laugh.</span><br />&quot;You don't know how relieved I am to hear this.&quot;<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You seem pretty anxious to get rid of him.&quot;</span><br />&quot;I just can't afford to take care of him anymore. I'm running out of money, and I don't know if I'll even have enough to make it through next month.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;The more you dwell on the fact that you're giving him up, the worse you feel about it.</span><br />&quot;I mean, I've already had to cut back on food and electricity, and it's just hard on me and him, and-&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Did you do your best?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You hesitate.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Did you do everything you could to make it work?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You think back on your previous weeks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You took him in when he arrived at your doorstep, if only to keep the neighbors from coming down on you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You made sure he made it through the first night, albeit to get some sleep.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You found a safe place for him to be while you were away, even if it was just to save you some trouble.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But after that first night, you had made a promise to him: to keep him until you found a place where he was wanted.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It was the right thing to do in your eyes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You had your temptations, but you managed to hold to your word.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And if things were to go well with this couple, you will have kept that promise.</span><br />&quot;Yeah, I did.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Then that's all that can be asked of you.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The old lady reaches out to you, and reels you in.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I know this is hard, but you can't beat yourself up over this.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's a moment of silence as she keeps her arm around you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You're not a bad person.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You figure that it was your tired, food-deprived body that responded, because without thinking, you bring your arms around the old lady, and hug her back.</span><br />&quot;You really think that?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes, dear.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Thank you.&quot;<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There were only a few days left till you had a day off from work.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The light was at the end of the tunnel.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It didn't make those few days any easier though.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If anything, it just made the days longer.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Four days of insufferable heat, crying, hunger, and sleeplessness later, you made it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You set up arrangements over the phone with the woman looking to adopt.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She wasn't able to get the day off, but she was able to cut her day a little short and make it home at noon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You made sure to get cleaned up, put on your most presentable clothes, and use some makeup to hide the bags under your eyes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You took the bus to the other side of town, and walk from the bus stop to the address.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If everything worked out with this couple, you'd be coming home ten pounds lighter.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;On your walk to the house, you pass through a nice neighborhood.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Homes were clean, yards were taken care of, kids were outside enjoying the day.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You even caught a smile and a greeting from the occasional passerby.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You whisper to yourself.</span><br />&quot;Please be in this neighborhood. Please be in this neighborhood. Please be in this neighborhood.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You follow the numbers on the mailboxes, and reach the correct address.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It fit in with the rest of the homes you passed by on the way here.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It had a manicured lawn, two parked cars in the driveway, and a bike laying against the garage door.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you reach the door, you take a deep breath.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You give the child in your arms a little bounce.</span><br />&quot;This is it, bub.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You ring the doorbell.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For a few seconds, there's complete silence.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Then, the door opens with a young boy, no older than twelve standing there.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He doesn't say anything.</span><br />&quot;Hi...Are your parents home?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;The boy yells back into the house.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Mom! There's a lady here who wants to talk to you!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Another voice not far calls back.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm right here, son. There's no need to yell.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You hear footsteps approaching.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm sorry about that, how can I-&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As soon as she sees you, her face glows.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You're here!&quot;</span><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She grabs your arm and guides you in to the couch in the living room.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Come in, come in, have a seat. I'll be right back.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You do as she says, and she runs down a hallway to another room.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With a few seconds to spare, you look around the house.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nothing in the house is brand new, but the place is kept orderly.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's a window that looks out to a fenced-in backyard.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Down the hallway she ran, there's an open room.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't see into it very well from where you're sitting, but you can spot what you think is a crib inside.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You close your eyes, and relax into the couch, listening to the quietness of the room.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's a tug at your arm.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ma'am?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The lady is standing in front of you, with her husband right beside her.</span><br />&quot;Huh? Sorry. I was just admiring your home.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That's alright. It's good to finally meet you.&quot;</span><br />&quot;It's good to meet you too.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;As eagerly as she brought you in, she pulls you up from the couch.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Come on, we'll show you around the house.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Sure, that would be great.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;As they take you around the house, you ask them about themselves</span><br />&quot;What made you want to adopt?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We can't have kids of our own. Believe me, we've tried. We became foster parents, and that worked until we came across our boy. Within just a couple weeks of him staying, we knew we had to have him. And ever since then, we've been looking to adopt another.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Throughout the tour, you find nothing special about the home, or the couple.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;They don't seem particularly wealthy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;They aren't the most adventurous people.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;They even have a cheesy sense of humor.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In nearly every sense of the word, these people were normal.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The last stop in the house was the nursery.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;From the crib, to the rocking chair that sat beside it, to the toys, they looked handed down through the years.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;So, what do you think of the place?&quot;</span><br />&quot;It's perfect.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Great. We can go down to the adoption agency, and get this done today.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Today, huh?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;The reality set in that it was finally going to be over today.</span><br /><br />&quot;Is it alright if I have a minute?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Uh, yeah. Sure.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The couple scoot out of the room, and close the door behind them.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You take a seat in the rocking chair, and look down at the baby.</span><br />&quot;Do you know how much trouble you've caused me? If you hadn't shown up, I'd be at home right now, watching TV, eating a microwave meal. I wouldn't be so tired. I would just be enjoying my day off, not worrying about the money I was dumping into that old lady's daycare, and...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;The old lady.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She was one of the better parts of the experience when you thought about it.</span><br />&quot;And if it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have met her. I wouldn't have found someone who didn't judge me on my past. I'd still be at home, bitter, and angry about my classmates. I wouldn't have ever thought that I could set aside my nastiness, and put someone else first for once. I probably wouldn't have found out that maybe I could be a good person.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You bring him up, and plant a kiss on his forehead.</span><br />&quot;Thanks.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You rocked back and forth in the chair, feeling a mixture of relief and poignancy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;One minute turned into five, which turned into ten.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You had remained silent for so long that the couple came in to check if everything was alright.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It was harder to see him go than you thought, even when there was no guilt in leaving him here.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It occurred to you that a part of you still wanted him around.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wanted an excuse, any excuse, to keep him.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But in the end, you left him.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You were at least content knowing that even before you handed him to his new home, you had given him what you said he deserved.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A place where he was wanted.</span><br /><br />THE END</div></div>




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