<!DOCTYPE html>
<html lang="en" dir="ltr" class="client-nojs">
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8" />
<title>A Magic Touch (AiE)(Updated - MulpWiki</title>
<meta name="generator" content="MediaWiki 1.24.0" />
<meta name="robots" content="noindex,nofollow" />
<link rel="alternate" type="application/x-wiki" title="Edit" href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php?title=A_Magic_Touch_(AiE)(Updated&amp;action=edit" />
<link rel="edit" title="Edit" href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php?title=A_Magic_Touch_(AiE)(Updated&amp;action=edit" />
<link rel="shortcut icon" href="../favicon.png" />
<link rel="search" type="application/opensearchdescription+xml" href="../opensearch_desc.php" title="MulpWiki (en)" />
<link rel="EditURI" type="application/rsd+xml" href="../api.php?action=rsd" />
<link rel="alternate" hreflang="x-default" href="A_Magic_Touch_(AiE)(Updated" />
<link rel="alternate" type="application/atom+xml" title="MulpWiki Atom feed" href="../index.php?title=Special:RecentChanges&amp;feed=atom" />
<link rel="stylesheet" href="http://mulpwiki.org/load.php?debug=false&amp;lang=en&amp;modules=mediawiki.ui.button%7Cmobile.pagelist.styles%7Cskins.minerva.chrome.styles%7Cskins.minerva.content.styles%7Cskins.minerva.drawers.styles%7Cskins.minerva.tablet.styles&amp;only=styles&amp;skin=minerva&amp;target=mobile&amp;*" />
<meta name="ResourceLoaderDynamicStyles" content="" />
<script src="http://mulpwiki.org/load.php?debug=false&amp;lang=en&amp;modules=startup&amp;only=scripts&amp;skin=minerva&amp;target=mobile&amp;*"></script>
<script>if(window.mw){
mw.config.set({"wgCanonicalNamespace":"","wgCanonicalSpecialPageName":false,"wgNamespaceNumber":0,"wgPageName":"A_Magic_Touch_(AiE)(Updated","wgTitle":"A Magic Touch (AiE)(Updated","wgCurRevisionId":67082,"wgRevisionId":67082,"wgArticleId":60609,"wgIsArticle":true,"wgIsRedirect":false,"wgAction":"view","wgUserName":null,"wgUserGroups":["*"],"wgCategories":["AiE","Botv1.7","Clop","Revision","Story","TextingwithGreen","Twilight Sparkle","Updated 4","Updated 5","7","30"],"wgBreakFrames":false,"wgPageContentLanguage":"en","wgPageContentModel":"wikitext","wgSeparatorTransformTable":["",""],"wgDigitTransformTable":["",""],"wgDefaultDateFormat":"dmy","wgMonthNames":["","January","February","March","April","May","June","July","August","September","October","November","December"],"wgMonthNamesShort":["","Jan","Feb","Mar","Apr","May","Jun","Jul","Aug","Sep","Oct","Nov","Dec"],"wgRelevantPageName":"A_Magic_Touch_(AiE)(Updated","wgIsProbablyEditable":true,"wgRestrictionEdit":[],"wgRestrictionMove":[],"wgWikiEditorEnabledModules":{"toolbar":false,"dialogs":false,"hidesig":true,"preview":false,"previewDialog":false,"publish":false},"wgCategoryTreePageCategoryOptions":"{\"mode\":0,\"hideprefix\":20,\"showcount\":true,\"namespaces\":false}","wgMFUseCentralAuthToken":false,"wgMFAjaxUploadProgressSupport":true,"wgMFAnonymousEditing":false,"wgMFPhotoUploadAppendToDesc":"","wgMFLeadPhotoUploadCssSelector":"img, .navbox","wgMFEnableCssAnimations":true,"wgMFPhotoUploadEndpoint":"","wgPreferredVariant":"en","wgIsPageEditable":true,"wgMFDeviceWidthTablet":768,"wgMFMode":"stable","wgMFCollapseSectionsByDefault":true,"wgTOC":true,"wgMFPageSections":true,"wgMFShowRedLinks":false,"wgMFThumbnailSizes":{"tiny":80,"small":150,"medium":300},"wgImagesDisabled":false,"wgUserCanUpload":false});
}</script><script>if(window.mw){
mw.loader.implement("user.options",function($,jQuery){mw.user.options.set({"ccmeonemails":0,"cols":80,"date":"default","diffonly":0,"disablemail":0,"editfont":"default","editondblclick":0,"editsectiononrightclick":0,"enotifminoredits":0,"enotifrevealaddr":0,"enotifusertalkpages":1,"enotifwatchlistpages":1,"extendwatchlist":0,"fancysig":0,"forceeditsummary":0,"gender":"unknown","hideminor":0,"hidepatrolled":0,"imagesize":2,"math":1,"minordefault":0,"newpageshidepatrolled":0,"nickname":"","norollbackdiff":0,"numberheadings":0,"previewonfirst":0,"previewontop":1,"rcdays":7,"rclimit":50,"rows":25,"showhiddencats":0,"shownumberswatching":1,"showtoolbar":1,"skin":"vector","stubthreshold":0,"thumbsize":5,"underline":2,"uselivepreview":0,"usenewrc":0,"watchcreations":1,"watchdefault":1,"watchdeletion":0,"watchlistdays":3,"watchlisthideanons":0,"watchlisthidebots":0,"watchlisthideliu":0,"watchlisthideminor":0,"watchlisthideown":0,"watchlisthidepatrolled":0,"watchmoves":0,"watchrollback":0,
"wllimit":250,"useeditwarning":1,"prefershttps":1,"language":"en","variant-gan":"gan","variant-iu":"iu","variant-kk":"kk","variant-ku":"ku","variant-shi":"shi","variant-sr":"sr","variant-tg":"tg","variant-uz":"uz","variant-zh":"zh","searchNs0":true,"searchNs1":false,"searchNs2":false,"searchNs3":false,"searchNs4":false,"searchNs5":false,"searchNs6":false,"searchNs7":false,"searchNs8":false,"searchNs9":false,"searchNs10":false,"searchNs11":false,"searchNs12":false,"searchNs13":false,"searchNs14":false,"searchNs15":false,"gadget-topCats":1,"variant":"en"});},{},{});mw.loader.implement("user.tokens",function($,jQuery){mw.user.tokens.set({"editToken":"+\\","patrolToken":"+\\","watchToken":"+\\"});},{},{});
/* cache key: wikidb:resourceloader:filter:minify-js:7:40df167353da3a21ba04b8119194408a */
}</script>
<script>if(window.mw){
mw.loader.load(["mediawiki.page.startup","mobile.head","mobile.site"]);
}</script>
<meta name="viewport" content="initial-scale=1.0, user-scalable=yes, minimum-scale=0.25, maximum-scale=5.0" />
</head>
<body class="mediawiki ltr sitedir-ltr stable mw-mobile-mode skin-minerva action-view">
		<div id="mw-mf-viewport">
			<div id="mw-mf-page-left" class="navigation-drawer">
						<ul>
		<li><a href="../index.html" class="icon-home icon icon-text">Home</a></li><li><a href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php/Special:Random/#/random" class="icon-random icon icon-text" id="randomButton">Random</a></li>		</ul>
		<ul>
		<li><a href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php?title=Special:UserLogin&amp;returnto=Special%3AWatchlist" class="icon-watchlist icon icon-text">Watchlist</a></li><li><a href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php?title=Special:MobileOptions&amp;returnto=A+Magic+Touch+%28AiE%29%28Updated" class="icon-settings icon icon-text">Settings</a></li><li><a href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php?title=Special:UserLogin&amp;returnto=A+Magic+Touch+%28AiE%29%28Updated&amp;returntoquery=welcome%3Dyes" class="icon icon-anon icon-text">Log in</a></li>		</ul>
		<ul class="hlist">
		<li><a href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php/MulpWiki:About">About MulpWiki</a></li><li><a href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php/MulpWiki:General_disclaimer">Disclaimers</a></li>		</ul>
					</div>
			<div id="mw-mf-page-center">
				<div id="siteNotice"></div>				<div class="header">
					<a title="Open main menu" href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php/Special:MobileMenu" class="main-header-button icon" id="mw-mf-main-menu-button"></a>							<form action="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php" class="search-box">
							<input type="search" name="search" placeholder="Search MulpWiki" title="Search MulpWiki [f]" accesskey="f" id="searchInput" class="search" autocomplete="off" /><input type="submit" name="fulltext" value="Search" title="Search the pages for this text" class="fulltext-search no-js-only icon icon-search" />							</form>
											</div>
				<div id="content_wrapper">
				<a id="mw-mf-last-modified" data-timestamp="1494276432" href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php/Special:History/A_Magic_Touch_(AiE)(Updated" data-user-name="HotRobotSlave" data-user-gender="unknown" class="top-bar truncated-text">Last modified on 8 May 2017, at 20:47</a>		<script>
			if ( window.mw && mw.mobileFrontend ) { mw.mobileFrontend.emit( 'header-loaded' ); }
		</script>
				<div class="pre-content">
			<h1 id="section_0">A Magic Touch (AiE)(Updated</h1><ul id="page-actions" class="hlist"><li id="ca-edit" class="icon icon-32px icon-edit" title="Edit the lead section of this page."></li><li id="ca-talk" class="hidden icon icon-32px icon-talk"><a href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php?title=Talk:A_Magic_Touch_(AiE)(Updated&amp;action=edit&amp;redlink=1" title="Discussion about the content page [t]" accesskey="t">Discussion</a></li><li id="ca-watch" class="watch-this-article icon icon-32px"><a href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php?title=Special:UserLogin&amp;returnto=A+Magic+Touch+%28AiE%29%28Updated" title="Add this page to your watchlist [w]" accesskey="w"></a></li></ul>		</div>
		<div id="content" class="content" lang="en" dir="ltr">			<div><center>
<table>
<tr>
<td>
<div style="border:1px solid #000000; background: #EEEEEE">
<p><font size="2">
This page was created by a <a href="./User:HotRobotSlave" title="User:HotRobotSlave">bot</a> and has not undergone revision yet.
</font>
</p>
</div>
</td>
</tr>
</table>
</center>
<p>No Summary is available for this Article. 
</p>
<table class="wikitable" style="float:right">
<tr>
<td><b>Writefag</b>
</td>
<td> TextingwithGreen
</td></tr>
<tr>
<td><b>Pastebin link</b>:
</td>
<td><a rel="nofollow" class="external free" href="http://pastebin.com/5gQ5hMeU">http://pastebin.com/5gQ5hMeU</a>
</td></tr>
<tr>
<td><b>Pastebin creation</b>
</td>
<td>Friday 21st of April 2017 02:13:42 AM CDT
</td></tr>
<tr>
<td><b>Last Pastebin update</b>
</td>
<td>Sunday 7th of May 2017 02:37:49 AM CDT
</td></tr></table>

</div><h3><span class="mw-headline" id="A_Magic_Touch_.28AiE.29.28Updated_4.2F30.29">A Magic Touch (AiE)(Updated 4/30)</span><a href="A_Magic_Touch_(AiE)(Updated#/editor/1" title="Edit section: A Magic Touch (AiE)(Updated 4/30)" data-section="1" class="edit-page icon icon-32px icon-edit enabled">Edit</a></h3><div>
<div dir="ltr" class="mw-geshi mw-code mw-content-ltr"><div class="gettext source-gettext">&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;C'mon, it'll be fun!&quot;</span><br />&quot;No thanks.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We've already raced by land and air--&quot;</span><br />&quot;/You've/ raced by air.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rainbow Dash pays no mind to your interruption.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;--so all that' left is the sea!... Or pond, whatever.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You hate to ruin her fun but...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Actually no, you don't care.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You shake your head at the light-cerulean mare standing before you.</span><br />&quot;Based off recent results, I have a sneaking suspicion the outcome won't favor me. Ever.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;If only you knew what her Cutie Mark (such an absurd name) symbolized /before/ she challenged you to those two sprints.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Unsurprisingly the first event was a blowout.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After you gave her shit for using her wings she agreed to keep all four hooves on the ground.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The next run was much better, but you still lost.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That was when her orange friend finally spilled the beans.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Turns out Skittles is kind of fast.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fast, as in /really fucking fast/.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You know the word &quot;modest&quot; doesn't exist in her dictionary but all the praise was coming from Apples, not Dash.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What sealed the deal was the mention of a &quot;Sonic Rainboom&quot;, where Skittles flies so fast she basically creates a rainbow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Earth's counterpart is much less flashy, but they both have the same condition.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So yea, there's no way in hell you're winning against someone who can break the goddamn sound barrier.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Of course, Dash is undeterred by your rejection.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We're not running this time! Come on, Anon, I wouldn't be surprised if you actually managed to win!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So humble.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Admitting potential defeat? She must be desperate now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You'd love to know what fuels her to pester you so much.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe she just loves winning and you're so pathetically slow she can feed off your losses for eternity.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Possibly.</span><br />&quot;The last thing I want is to further increase the size of your ego.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash's wings flair out at your jab.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey, I'm not egotistic!&quot;</span><br />&quot;I never said you were...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You implied it! Don't try to weasel your way out of this like you always do!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Too late.</span><br />&quot;What if I implied interest in competing?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can see her expression struggling to remain irritated at you. With each passing second, it turns into skepticism.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Just implying, or...&quot;</span><br />&quot;I can't let you have a spotless record, ya know.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Damn you and your competitiveness.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Any trace of annoyance from her is gone, replaced with an excited grin.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's so quick to forgive.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash leaps into the air, hovering at head height.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Awesome! I'll go get Applejack and we'll meet you at the pond. You're going /down/!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She flies right in front of you, leaning forward so her face is centimeters away from yours.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Holy shit what is personal space and how does it work?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's a foreign concept to these little horses.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not that you have much first-hand experience. Most ponies keep their distance away from you, seeing as you're new and all.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Surprisingly Dash has proven herself to be a big exception.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're not sure if you love it or hate it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Little of column A, little of column B.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash breaks away from you, soaring away in the direction of what you remember is Applejack's place of residence.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You watch her for a little while before starting towards the pond.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's no way you'll lose this time.</span><br /><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your lungs could really use some oxygen right about now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's the final lap of the race, and you're giving it all you got.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can barely make out Rainbow Dash next to you. The pair of you have been almost dead even the entire time.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Come on, just a few... more... feet...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your hand finally makes contact with the dirt.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Time!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sweet relief, you can relax now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You raise yourself out of the pond, water cascading around you. You take a seat on the edge, legs partially submerged.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In hindsight, you should've brought a towel.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh well. The sun will suffice.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Beside you, Dash has also climbed out. Her wet mane is pressed flat against her head.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Interesting look.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Without warning, she begins to vigorously shake herself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Water droplets fly everywhere and you instinctively turn away to avoid taking the assault head-on.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;How long is she going to keep this up?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Eventually you no longer feel anything pelting your back, so you turn around to face a now-damp Dash.</span><br />&quot;Sheesh. What are you, a fuckin' dog?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She glances at you sheepishly.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, sorry about that. Maybe I should've moved--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her voice abruptly cuts off as your words finally sink in.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Who are you calling a 'dog'?!?&quot;</span><br />&quot;You! You're shaking yourself off just like one.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;The whole situation amuses you more than anything.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash doesn't appear to share your thoughts.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You mean /dogs/ shake themselves off like /ponies/. It was either this or a tornado.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're really interested in that first bit, but now isn't the time to ask.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Besides, you doubt she knows much more.</span><br />&quot;Ever heard of this thing called a towel?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Does it look like I brought a towel?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wish.</span><br />&quot;I wish. I could use one.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rainbow Dash stares at your exposed body.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The only thing you have on right now is a pair of boxers, seeing as swimming trunks don't exist in Equestria.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Crude, but it works.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Skittles can't fathom why you'd wear anything while swimming. That was a fun five minutes of explanation.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Even after some lewd gesturing and straight-talk, she remained unconvinced.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You know there's no underlying meaning to her-- or anyone else's-- staring outside of curiosity.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wear clothes most of the time, so they're not used to seeing you like this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wish women back home gawked as much as ponies do.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Try shaking yourself off. If it works for us, who knows. Maybe it'll help you.&quot;</span><br />&quot;I don't have fur so that's not an option.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash shrugs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Let the sun dry you? I'm running out of ideas.&quot;</span><br />&quot;That's the plan.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Excuse me.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can faintly make out a soft voice trying to get your attention, so you turn some more to look behind you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Butterfly--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Wait, no. It's Fluttershy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Because she's quiet n' shit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy is standing patiently, alternating glances between you and Skittles.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Applehorse couldn't make it, so Dash brought along Quiet Horse to judge.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;From what little you've seen of her, she's quite timid. You wouldn't be surprised if Dash escorted her here against her will.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Poor bastard.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Last you remember, Fluttershy was keeping track of the race from directly above the pond.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;How long has she been waiting there?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I didn't want to interrupt your conversation. I have the results of your race if you want to hear.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh right, the race!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Heck yea we wanna know! It was neck-and-neck to the finish!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't help but lean in a little closer, using an arm to support yourself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy brings a hoof to her mouth, clearing her throat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Okay. It was a really close race, but the winner--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You got this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;--is--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You totally got this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;--Rainbow Dash!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You don't got this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;YEEEAAAA!!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash bursts into the air, leaving her signature rainbow trail to follow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fuck.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy watches the whooping pegasus above for a few seconds before eyeing your morose form.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You did great, Anon. Even if you didn't win, you gave it your all.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Cute words, Quiet Horse.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Unfortunately the whole point of doing this /was/ to win.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You let out a resigned sigh.</span><br />&quot;She's gonna hold this over me until the end of time.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;All you wanted was one win. ONE.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Everybody gets one, right?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Apparently not.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You face forward once more, bringing your legs to rest in the clear water.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You look up to the sky, Dash's cheering reaching you loud and clear.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yea yea, get it out of your system.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After about a minute, Skittles descends to head height, hovering above the pond. She's still giddy, eyes shining with exuberance.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That proves it! Nopony or being is faster than me!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Hold the fuck up.</span><br />&quot;You just wanted confirmation on being quicker than everyone?!?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She nods, still grinning like an idiot.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh come the fuck--</span><br />&quot;Did our first little 'race' not tip you off???&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;She dismisses your question with a wave of her hoof.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I had to be sure. And now...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She once again brings herself inches from your face.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I know. Nice try Anon, you're surprisingly quick for something with only two legs.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Personal.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Space.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just a heads up would suffice.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Yo Anon, I'm gonna get all up in your grill if that's cool.'</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You want nothing more than to grab Dash and dunk her in the pond.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sadly the more sensible side of you knows better. You're not /that/ close with her, or anyone for that matter.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're still seen as a new, unknown being that came from fuck-all with an outlandish backstory.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Would she mind?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You know poor Fluttershy would probably assume the worst.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gotta keep up good appearances.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So instead you grimace, leaning away to put some distance between the pair of you.</span><br />&quot;Thanks but--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;A hand reaches out to her, using your index finger to press Dash's nose. With a little more force you get her to ease away from you.</span><br />&quot;--four legs good; two legs better.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Need to save face for the human race somehow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash wrinkles her nose and you remove your finger.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her expression still hasn't changed. In fact, she's now staring at her nose, eyes crossed in an attempt to focus on it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is pretty funny.</span><br />&quot;You okay? All I did was--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Suddenly Dash drops like a rock, crashing into the pond with a loud splash.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Oh shit?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're not sure if you're supposed to be worried, but you're definitely getting there.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As you examine the blue mare underwater, the sound of approaching footsteps alert you to Fluttershy's appearance beside you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Skittles finally decides to resurface, breaking the surface with a loud gasp.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Good, she's not dead.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You reach out to grab a foreleg, pulling her ashore.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Once she's back on land, she glares at you like you did something wrong.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Are you okay?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy is concerned for her friend's condition, but Dash pays her no mind.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;DON'T do that again.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The voice doesn't match the expression. Her tone is one of mild annoyance.</span><br />&quot;What, help you?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She rolls her eyes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No, don't poke my nose. It feels... weird.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash shakes her head as though she's trying to get rid of a bad memory.</span><br />&quot;Uncomfortable weird or what?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...It's hard to explain. At first it felt uncomfortable and made my nose itch, but then...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her voice trails off and she breaks her gaze from you, instead looking at the pond.</span><br />&quot;'Then' what?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She doesn't respond, continuing to avoid your stare.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can make out a darker tinge of blue on her cheeks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Was that always there?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nah.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Is she blushing?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She is, isn't she.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You didn't know ponies could do that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;How does that even work? How is her coat darkening?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That is so weird.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;More importantly, /why/ is she embarrassed or however she feels?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;All you did was touch her nose.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;......</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Aw shit.</span><br />&quot;Oh god, are ponies' noses some sort of erogenous zone?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;See, this is what happens when you don't think before you act. Now ponies will assume you're some sexual predator.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nice going, Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash whips her head back to face you, clearly shocked, if not even more embarrassed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What??? NO!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh.</span><br />&quot;Is touching noses considered an intimate act only performed between a couple?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Now ponies will think you're trying to get with Rainbow Dash.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nice going, Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If she was flustered before, Skittles is a sputtering mess now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The last time you saw her look this abashed was when you told her the meaning of the nickname you gave her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Because your hair is just as colorful and you're just as sweet.'</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Of course the last portion was a joke but she didn't know that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The expression of confused horror she gave you has been permanently burned into your memory, seeing as it's the closest you've ever come to literally dying of laughter.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh my...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You glance back briefly to Fluttershy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It shouldn't be possible for one face to be that red.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're impressed she hasn't fainted or something out of second-hand embarrassment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Turning to your cyan pegasus acquaintance, she's regained enough composure to speak.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;NO!!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You open your mouth to list another possibility but Dash beats you to the punch.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;There's nothing special about our noses, Anon! You can stop guessing.&quot;</span><br />&quot;So what's the deal then? Obviously something is wrong.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Nothing is wrong. It's... Arghhh!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She throws up her hooves in defeat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It felt GOOD. There, are you happy now?!?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She stares daggers at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's it?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;THAT'S it???</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What the hell is wrong with her?</span><br />&quot;Of course I'm happy. How fuckin' hard was it to say that in the first place? You're acting like it was a declaration of love.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Skittles shoots you another glare.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It was unexpected, that's all.&quot;</span><br />&quot;All I did was boop your nose.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;'Boop'?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her face contorts with confusion.</span><br />&quot;Press, or Tap. It's nothing more than a dumb nickname that caught on.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes lose focus as she thinks for a bit. When she returns to the present, they narrow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Do it again.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You blink.</span><br />&quot;Why.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Please?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;First earlier, then this? She's on a roll today.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You snort in amusement.</span><br />&quot;Fine, only because you have good manners.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash ignores your jab, instead adjusting herself to sit up straight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Moderate cerise eyes track your raised hand as you prepare to deliver the killing blow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't help but hesitate.</span><br />&quot;Are you sure there isn't anything deeper to this?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You receive a deadpan look in return.</span><br />&quot;Okay, okay. Sorry...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;It better not turn out she has a freaky fetish for getting her nose touched.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not the worst thing, but you don't want to fuel her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You slowly bring your index finger to her nose, her eyes crossing to keep it in sight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Why are you nervous?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;All you're doing is touching her nose, right?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;RIGHT???</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You once again make contact with her soft coat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After pressing down gently, you remove your hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Mission accomplished.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash remains fixated on her nose, her face scrunched up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This time you chuckle. Ponies' behavior can be so childlike at times.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luckily she's already grounded, so you don't have to worry about her falling again.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Unless she collapses.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Shit man, you have no idea what the fuck is going to happen.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After a short period of time Dash eases up, her face and body relaxing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes close, a smile steadily forming.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She looks like she's on cloud nine.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're having a hard time taking her comment on ponies' noses at face value.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe it's a secret button that releases endorphins.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wish you had one.</span><br />&quot;Having fun?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash says nothing. Instead she slowly opens her eyes, giving you a dreamy look.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That... was... /awesome/.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She half-whispers the last bit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is nothing short of absurd. The entire situation is baffling, to say the least.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not that you're complaining. In fact, you're having fun.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Who knew Skittles got so much enjoyment out of having her nose touched?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;How did she just discover this?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's so weird. After the initial discomfort, it's like... It feels...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She struggles to come up with a suitable description before giving up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's hard to explain, but it's sooooo good.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash gives you a suspicious look... except it's diluted by her wet mane plastered against her forehead.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Are you using magic? I don't remember you saying anything about being able to use magic.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You shake your head.</span><br />&quot;I don't have any sort of magic whatsoever. All I did was--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You point to her.</span><br />&quot;--that.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Alright, if you say so.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She still looks skeptical but she doesn't push the issue, leaving you to your thoughts.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash is acting like you performed some impossible task. Maybe she should--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Again.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Hmm?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She looks at you expectantly, as though it's obvious what she wants.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;One more time.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ehhh...</span><br />&quot;I dunno, that last one took a lot out of me. How about a thumbs up instead?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash isn't pleased by your gesture.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Stop messing around, Anon, I know there's nothing wrong with you. Just one more, that's all.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You exaggerate faking internal debate on whether or not to oblige her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Pleeeease?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh jeez, she's got the puppy-dog eyes and everything.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Stop it, heart. You know better than to fall for it.</span><br />&quot;Low blow, Skittles. Don't toy with my emotions.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;An eye twitches upon hearing her nickname, yet she makes no comment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yea, she's desperate.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She better be in goddamn Nirvana to hassle you so much over this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With a groan, you quickly lean over and...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rainbow Dash is caught off guard by your speed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Crossed eyes, scrunched-up nose, yada yada.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's still funny.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just like before, she drifts into a relaxed state.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;However, you're perplexed when she starts chuckling.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Quietly first, then evolving into her signature sharp laughter.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You want whatever she's having.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Before you can ask her what she finds so humorous, she suddenly rockets into the air.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;One second she's next to you; the next there's nothing but a rainbow trail signifying her existence.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Damn.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thanks Anon!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You observe her shrinking form as she corkscrews away, performing various other acrobatic feats that would leave fighter jet pilots jealous.</span><br />&quot;Don't mention it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;No one around to hear but it's good to remember your manners.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That was one interesting event.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Who knew Skittles had a thing for getting her nose booped?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Do all ponies operate like that?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're kind of tempted--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Wow Anon, you really made Rainbow Dash happy.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your heart nearly leaps out of your chest at the abrupt interruption of your pondering.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You whirl around to face...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Holy shit, you forgot she was here.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You know she's quiet but /Christ/, no one should be that mute.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Did she seriously sit there the entire time without saying a word?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This mare should look into covert operations. No one would notice her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You focus on reducing your heart palpitations, letting out a deep breath.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Is something wrong?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Bless her oblivious heart.</span><br />&quot;No, I... Just no.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Quick, change the subject!</span><br />&quot;Yea, she did look pretty ecstatic.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy smiles.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I think it's wonderful you and Dash get along so well.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If by 'get along so well' she means 'You not having to constantly watch your every move in order to avoid giving ponies the wrong idea about you', then yea you get along alright.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's not the only one you can relax around, thankfully.</span><br />&quot;I guess we do.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your thoughts have been drifting back to ponies' noses.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Weird subject, but it's important.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Important enough.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Is Skittles the only pony who acts like they discovered heaven itself after getting booped?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're intrigued now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You need test subjects. Ponies who won't mind giving up a few minutes in the name of science.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Except how do you bring this up without looking or sounding like you've gone off your rocker?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash wouldn't mind if you told others about her reaction, right?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's a good starting point.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Still, you need volunteers.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Lucky for you, one may be right in front of you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You focus back on Butte-- Fluttershy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In hindsight, maybe you shouldn't have zoned out while staring at her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes are nearly as wide as dinner plates, pupils zeroed in on you to detect any sudden movement.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Goodness, lady, you're not going to attack her.</span><br />&quot;I have a question.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Silence.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Can I, uhh, touch your nose?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;That sounded as stupid as you thought it would.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy eases up, no longer on edge.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Just like with Rainbow Dash?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yea. I'm curious to know if it's just her or possibly something bigger.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well... that sounds safe.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Worst case scenario, you misaim and end up sticking your finger up her nose.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Don't say that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy closes the short distance before taking a seat again.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's clearly a little nervous.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Then again, when is she ever not?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Don't worry Quiet Horse, you'll make this as painless as possible.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy blinks once, her nose twitching at the strange sensation.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Then she proceeds to go through the same ritual as Dash.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Man, that expression will never get old.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Soon enough, she breaks into a smile much bigger than her usual timid versions.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nice. You're two for two now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She lets out a giggle. An honest to goodness giggle.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You had no idea she was capable of showing such emotion.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Is she going to take to the skies as well?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No wonder Rainbow Dash was so giddy. That felt really nice, Anon.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You feel like you've stumbled onto something huge.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Which is a problem.</span><br />&quot;Has no one in this world EVER touched someone else's nose? Is it against the law or am I out of the loop?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy is still in a cheerful state.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;There's no law against touching somepony's nose, but I've never felt like /this/ afterwards.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She closes her eyes in contentment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is ridiculous.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Amusing, confusing, and ridiculous.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You need to know more on what the hell is up with these miniature multicolored horses.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You need facts.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Cold, hard, boring facts.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Preferably without having to pour through an endless series of books.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fortunately there's a pony you know who's already done that for you.</span><br /><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What's her name...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight... Sprinkles?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Something along that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You'll just stick with Twilight, or Book Horse.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She lives in a library and likes books. Simple enough.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're approaching the massive tree that houses the Ponyville library, home to the purple unicorn and her small dragon slave.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Or assistant.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not much of a difference.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You reach the door and give five quick knocks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In no time at all it opens, revealing...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;No one.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey Anon, how's it going?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Whoops.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You glance down to see Spike standing before you in all his short glory.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You literally look down on everyone, something that's still taking some getting used to.</span><br />&quot;'Sup. Is Twilight here? I need to talk to her.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;She's right over there. Come on in!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike moves away from the door and out of view.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You step inside, closing the door behind you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ah, libraries.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't remember the last time you visited one on Earth.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight is sitting at a table next to one of the few sections of wall not occupied by a bookshelf. A book lies open before her, but all her attention is on you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous, what a pleasant surprise! How has your day been so far? Are you enjoying your time in Ponyville?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse has dubbed you her responsibility, seeing as she's the princess' personal prot&quot;g&quot;e.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For someone who's supposed to keep tabs on you, the pair of you don't converse much.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sure you have a different place of temporary residence, but still.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you do talk you get the feeling she always wants to say more, except something holds her back.</span><br />&quot;Good and yea, it's been alright.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;If there's anything I can do to make your stay more than 'alright', just let me know!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For starters, you'd love for everyone not to fear you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There aren't many ponies you can even pass by without noticing the uneasiness in their eyes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Time, Anon. That takes time.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...You hope.</span><br />&quot;I'll keep that in mind.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You head over to the table all the while continuing to talk.</span><br />&quot;I... uh, have a question.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What is it?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You reach the small table, towering over the sitting mare.</span><br />&quot;It's about... it's... okay let's get some backstory here so this doesn't sound so stupid.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's horn glows, levitating a bookmark near her which she places neatly between the book's pages.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She shuts it and you can make out the title.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Melzar's Multitude of Mesmerizing Mythical Creatures: Volume Four</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Say nothing, Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Two pony ears direct their attention to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm all ears.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Alrighty, where to start...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The beginning sounds good. Best to not leave anything out.</span><br />&quot;So earlier today, Skittles was bothering me--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;'Skittles'?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Rainbow Dash. It's a nickname.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her right eye gives a near-imperceptible twitch, which you ignore.</span><br />&quot;Yea, so Dash was bothering me...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You go through the events leading up to when she got in your face.</span><br />&quot;...you should've seen it, it was great. Then after a few seconds she drops into the pond. Stops flying, stops moving, just lets gravity take over. I'm talking one hundred to zero like /that/.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You snap your fingers for effect.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight adopts a worried expression.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Was she okay?&quot;</span><br />&quot;I thought the same thing. Pulled her out and she said 'don't touch my nose, it felt weird' and I asked her to elaborate. That's when she got all embarrassed and stuff.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Embarrassed? Why would she be embarrassed over that?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Exactly! I made a few... guesses that were a couple miles off mark, all under the assumption that there's something special about your noses that I didn't get the memo on. That's when she finally spilled the beans.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse is glued to your every word now.</span><br />&quot;Turns out she liked it. And when I say liked it, I really mean she LOVED it, if the second time was any indication.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight takes a moment to process this new revelation about her friend.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Rainbow Dash... likes having her nose touched?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's bewildered, to say the least.</span><br />&quot;There's more to it. She couldn't explain why or how it felt so good.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You shake your head.</span><br />&quot;So after she pestered me for a third one which she received, she flew away. That just left me and Fluttershy. Short story short, I asked to try it on her. Guess what?<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Fluttershy didn't feel anything?&quot;</span><br />&quot;WRONG. She experienced the same stuff as Dash! Both of them apparently have some weird enjoyment of being booped.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;'Booped'?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ugh.</span><br />&quot;Basically a light tap, like this.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You demonstrate using the back of your hand as the receiver.</span><br />&quot;Yea, so all of that leads into my question.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You dramatically clear your throat.</span><br />&quot;What the FUCK is going on??? Have I been lied to regarding noses? I need answers... Please.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Always remember your manners.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight looks at you with a frown.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;There are children present, Anonymous. I know you have different words than ponies for expressing heavy emotions but a swear is a swear.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh crap, you forgot Spike was here.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A quick turn-around and you spot him in a poor attempt to pretend he isn't eavesdropping.</span><br />&quot;Sorry, it slipped out.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Understandable.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight levitates a stool over to you, which you place down before taking a seat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Once you've stopped fidgeting, she speaks up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I've never heard of anypony who experienced a reaction similar to what you've mentioned. This is very strange.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You don't like that look she's giving you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It screams &quot;The only reason I haven't dismissed this is because you're new here.&quot;</span><br />&quot;I swear I'm not insane, I am just as confused as you are. If you don't believe me go talk to Fluttershy, she can vouch for me.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Unless she focuses more on your accidental staring.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The reassurance of having someone to confirm your ludicrous findings with appears to ease Twilight's mind.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I believe you Anonymous, peculiar as it sounds.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thank goodness.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes trail upwards in thought.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy... For something so noncomplex, how could it remained unnoticed for so long?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight is in her own world now, speaking to herself more than you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;They're both pegasi, which may play a factor in this.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She looks at you once more.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;All you did was touch their noses?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yup.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Could you demonstrate on me? If my hypothesis is correct, unlikely as it is--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She mutters that last part.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;--we might be able to narrow it down to a specific group, making it easier to determine who or what is affected. Of course there are Celestia-knows how many other variables we need to account for, but this is a good place to start.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Touch Book Horse's nose? Simple enough.</span><br />&quot;Alright. Whenever you're ready.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight leans closer to the table, jutting out her head. Her pale-mulberry nose sticks out for testing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If this doesn't work you'll look like you've gone nutters; the last thing you need when barely anyone trusts you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Up goes your hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ready... Aim....</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's nose twitches.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's a good sign.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes cross.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's a funny sign. Also good.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's the face scrunch.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;All that's left is--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse's eyes widen, pupil's dilating. Her mouth forms into a small &quot;o&quot;.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is new.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After a few seconds her eyes return to normal only now she's smiling, showing plenty of teeth.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;This is incredible! I've never felt so... so...&quot;</span><br />&quot;Good?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Great! No, more than great! This is better than when I scored perfect marks on Princess Celestia's Transfiguration Exam! Everypony else got stuck on the orange, but I did it! Oh that was an amazing day!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Good for her?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is not much different than Skittles' final reaction but far more energetic than Fluttershy's.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe Quiet Horse's reserved nature kept her from acting like so.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight finally brings herself to focus on you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm sorry I ever doubted you Anonymous. You've discovered something huge! Of course my reaction completely blows away my hypothesis, but who cares!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're just relieved it works on her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight takes in a deep breath before letting out a satisfied sigh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ahhhh. We need to get to the bottom of this. I hope you like answering questions.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her horn is enveloped in her signature light-raspberry aura but nothing happens.</span><br />&quot;I'll answer whatever you want me to.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her ears perk up at that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Really?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yea, how else are we supposed to figure this out?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You flinch as a quill and piece of paper soar by your ear.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So that's what she was doing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight appears crestfallen.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;?</span><br />&quot;Did you have something else in mind?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Not exactly... It's nothing important, don't worry.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She lets out a half-hearted chuckle.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Okay...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Quill and paper at the ready, Twilight is silent in thought.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Eventually she speaks up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Just to confirm, you have no magic whatsoever residing in you, correct?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Right.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Based off your thoughts on pressing noses, hue-muns gain no pleasure from being booped. Is this true?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You manage to suppress a snort.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're also impressed she remembers your species, seeing as you've brought it up a grand total of one time.</span><br />&quot;Also right.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;And, considering your reaction to this development, you are not performing these... boopings with the conscious intention to benefit others.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Correct.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Wait.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Do--&quot;</span><br />&quot;Elaborate on that last sentence.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Would you like me to rephrase it?&quot;</span><br />&quot;I understand what you meant. I was referring to 'the conscious intention to benefit others'.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's gaze never leaves you even while the quill effortlessly glides from left to right, printing unknown words.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Neat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I could explain now, but I'm willing to bet you'll have your answer after a few more minutes.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You decide to let the subject drop.</span><br />&quot;If you say so.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight nods, resuming where she left off.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;This is... interesting, at the very least. An otherworldly being with no magic is able to bring pleasure to ponies just by touching their noses.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight blinks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Very interesting.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's one way of putting it.</span><br />&quot;So now what?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Now? Now I want to know /how/. How are you able to do it?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You shrug.</span><br />&quot;I don't know. I was hoping you had an answer.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous, there is an infinitesimal chance something so glaringly blatant has gone unnoticed in Equestria for the thousand-plus years it has existed. For goodness sake, all it takes is a press of the nose!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight brings a hoof up to her face, gently pressing down on her nose.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The pair of you wait for any reaction, yet none comes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;See?!?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Maybe you can't do it to yourself. Maybe you need someone else.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight gives you a look of exasperation.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I've lost count of the amount of times Pinkie booped me!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's a fast learner. She's already caught on to its usage.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;For some reason only you can pull it off!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This has gone well past absurd and jumped straight into what-in-the-fuck-is-going-on-even territory.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Bewildered doesn't even begin to describe how you feel.</span><br />&quot;Book Horse,--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes narrow, which you ignore.</span><br />&quot;--do you understand just how /insane/ that sounds?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;YES!!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She wails that out.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;......</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You get it now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight Sprinkles.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Princess Celestia's star pupil.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The librarian; book reader extraordinaire.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The mare who undoubtedly knows more than anyone you've met (limited as that list may be).</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight is completely and utterly lost.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This two-legged creature has her stumped, simply because it doesn't fit here. It doesn't belong here.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You definitely feel for her right now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It must be similar to how you felt upon your arrival to this magical world.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'This shouldn't happen. This shouldn't be real.'</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'But it is.'</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The two of you say nothing else, letting the ambient sounds of the world wash over you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can hear Spike occasionally turn a page from a book he's pretending to read.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Finally you break the silence.</span><br />&quot;...It just blows my mind, y'know? I'm not doing anything special at all. Just--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You gesture with a finger.</span><br />&quot;--one finger, nothing more to it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight stares flatly at your outstretched hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Suddenly it's like a switch was flicked.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her drooped ears shoot up and you can see a spark of hope in her eyes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Spike! I need your help!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In a matter of seconds the purple dragon is by her side.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Still hard to believe this squirt is a dragon. Guess the fantasy books couldn't get everything right.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What do you need, Twilight?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;A booping!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Quick, roll to avoid smiling!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The die shows...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;One.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fuck.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You guffaw, poorly covering it up with an equally loud coughing fit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight and Spike stare at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You okay dude?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your eyes water as you address Spike's concern.</span><br />&quot;Yea, there's something in my throat.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;A bad case of the giggles.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Do you need a glass of water?&quot;</span><br />&quot;It's all good, I think it's gone now.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Interruption over, he turns back to Twilight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;One booping coming right up!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You snort.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight positions herself parallel to the table, again holding her head out for Spike to access.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike stretches his arm as high as it can go, prompting Twilight to lower her head.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Now easier to access, he extends a claw, and...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;......</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight blinks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You and Spike are watching her with bated breath.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;No crossed eyes so far.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She huffs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Nothing.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Damn.</span><br />&quot;If you did this for the reason I think you did, it was a good idea. Shame it didn't work.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight lets out a groan of frustration.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I was hoping the similarity of your hands and claws respectively would lead to a breakthrough.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Knew it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She eyes Spike.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Speaking of, those things are sharp mister.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well I /did/ trim them today.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He admires his handiwork... or clawdiwork.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Whatever.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight is staring at nothing in particular.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She sighs in resignation.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're just as curious as her to know the reason only you, given your current information, can boop ponies with great results.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The thing is, she's taking the lack of progress much harder than you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You don't want her stressing out too much over it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Good thing you have a solution, temporary as it may be.</span><br />&quot;Twilight.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;The disheartened lavender unicorn rotates her head to face you...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Only to meet a finger.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Does it work on sad ponies?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It fucking better.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fortunately your worries are assuaged.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight breaks into a smile. Not long afterwards, she laughs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Seeing her distress fade away like a bad dream makes you grin.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Who cares how this works? You can turn frowns upside down with a simple touch, that's all that matters.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Naah, you still want answers.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight finishes up her giggle session, beaming at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thank you Anonymous, I needed that.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Anytime.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She lets out another sigh, only this one is of contentment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;All this time Spike has been standing next to her, observing with great interest.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He directs his attention to you, clearly excited.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I want a turn, Anon!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight looks down at him.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Please?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're impressed he figured that out from her still-cheerful expression.</span><br />&quot;Sure. Prepare your nose.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He scurries over to you, jutting out his head in preparation.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With practiced precision, you take aim and...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Wow, his scales are much tougher than they appear.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's a sharp contrast to the soft pony noses you've been booping.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike closes his eyes as you touch him, keeping them shut even after your job is finished.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wait patiently for the effects to sink in.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Any second now...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Any second...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike opens his eyes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Uh, I'm not feeling anything.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's eyes widen in shock.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Really?!?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yea...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Huh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That blows.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight, on the other hand, is thrilled.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;This is incredible! That means there are limits! Restrictions! If we figure out who isn't receptive, we can use common factors to work towards finding the 'how' for your ability!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Ability'</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She makes it sound so much cooler than it is.</span><br />&quot;Sounds good.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yea, it's just wonderful...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh fuck, Spike.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The little dragon makes no effort to hide his sullen mood.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;By a stroke of bad luck, he can't experience the same joy his...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What the hell /does/ he see her as?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You'll have to ask him in private.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Point is, he's irked.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You put on your best apologetic expression.</span><br />&quot;Sorry man, I can't do anything about it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike waves a claw dismissively.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I know. It's still lame...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You watch him amble back to his reading spot.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Poor dude.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You turn back to Twilight</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's fidgeting in her seat, fit to burst at any moment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This might be her biggest project yet, and she's dying to get started.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yet her violet eyes are still set on you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You know, I've been doing my best to follow Princess Celestia's advice. It hasn't been easy but I've managed.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What advice?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Then today came along and blew away any chance of sticking to it.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight looks nervous.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous, your ability is a reminder of just how little anypony knows about you. So if you want to, and ONLY if you want to... couldyoupossiblytellmeafewthingsaboutyourself?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight grins uneasily.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;No need to get so worked up, Book Horse.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's right, you've been purposefully silent regarding your history.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Main reason being almost no one asks. Presumably too busy trying to avoid being noticed by you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But Twilight's words make it sound like she was told not to pry you open for information despite wanting to.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Now why would she be advised to do that?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's level-headed and rarely jumps to conclusions. She was the first to recognize you as more than a mysterious beast.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Of course you can tell her about yourself.</span><br />&quot;Twilight, if there's ever anything you want or need to know about me or humans in general-- within reason of course-- just ask.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Giving her a rundown of Hitler probably wouldn't end well.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her fidgeting stops as she stares at you with apprehension.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Are you sure?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Absolutely positive.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You give a thumbs up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight seems to be having a hard time taking it in. She closes her eyes, taking in a deep breath before slowly exhaling.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Thank you Anonymous. I will do my best to moderate the number of inquiries so you aren't overwhelmed.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Moderate'?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just how many questions does she have?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She opens her eyes, smiling warmly.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;There's so much to do; I can't think of where to start!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can help with that.</span><br />&quot;Me first, or the booping?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight brings a hoof to her chin, pondering.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her horn lights up, and this time you can hear the sound of paper rushing towards you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Let's begin with you. Who you are, /what/ you are... mostly the former.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She grins sheepishly.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Guess you'll begin with the basics.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You straighten up a little before you start talking.</span><br />&quot;My name is Anonymous...&quot;<br />-----<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You grab the floating bag, removing the light-blue aura surrounding it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A quick peek inside shows a well-made scarf resting at the bottom.</span><br />&quot;So I'm just dropping this off?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity doesn't look up from her sewing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You should do more than simply leave it at the doorstep. It reflects poorly on me if clients receive sub-par assistance.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You grunt.</span><br />&quot;Yea well, when your clients stop hiding under the window and actually answer the fucking--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity's head shoots up.</span><br />&quot;--...the STUPID DOOR, I have the strangest feeling customer support will improve tenfold.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dumb &quot;no swearing in front of a lady&quot; rule.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She finally swivels around to face you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm certain in due time the residents of Ponyville will warm up to you. They just need time to adjust. I know I did.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yessir, the ponies need a longer adjustment period than the dude dumped straight into a fairy tale.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not that you're completely unfazed; rather you don't shun what you don't know.</span><br />&quot;How much time? You'd think by now everything would be kosher, yet I can count on one hand the number of ponies who talk to me. Stall owners don't count.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's a delicate process, Anonymous dear.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity pauses in thought.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You aren't the first pony to experience these troubles. Everypony was frightened of Zecora until we learned more about her.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Who?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;She's a zebra. Her home is in the Everfree Forest. Even Twilight ended up getting roped into our overblown fears of her.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Zebras are a thing here? Who would've guessed.</span><br />&quot;Eh, ponies learned about me too. Look at how well that worked out.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're referring to the town meeting held once your stay in Ponyville was confirmed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight wanted to pacify any concerns of the public by giving a short introduction of yourself and how you weren't going to eat any of them.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Okay maybe that last part didn't happen, but you know at that time it was a serious thought.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If anything good came out of the event, you still haven't noticed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity is at a loss of what to respond with, if that look means anything.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Well I... Of course...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You raise a hand to silence her.</span><br />&quot;It's alright, it's not your problem. I'm going to deliver this scarf now.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity tries to say a few more words before giving up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Very well. Thank you, Anonymous.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Of course.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can see the conversation had a negative effect on her mood. She's stopped humming to herself as she turns back to her work.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Damn, your intention wasn't to put a damper on the atmosphere. This is why you keep this shit under wraps.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You turn around, making your way to the front door.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just as you reach out to open it, several knocks are heard from the other side.</span><br />&quot;I got it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Said to no one in particular.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Opening the door reveals...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike. A book is secured firmly at his side.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey Anon.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yo. How's it going? Twilight overworking herself?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;From what you know, Book Horse has a tendency to get a little too absorbed in projects of great interest. Last time you were at the library she had a list stretching from wall to wall and then some.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have a feeling she might've gone through a sleepless night or two.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yea, when she's not daydreaming about getting booped again.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...You might need to wean her off of these fingers.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Is Rarity here? I have the book she requested.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yup.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You step to the side, allowing Spike to enter.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Good afternoon, Rarity.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What the hell is up with his voice? Is he trying to make it sound deeper?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Spikey darling, what brings you here?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Spikey'?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You opt not to stick around, swiftly exiting the boutique.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just need to drop this bag off and head back. Easy enough.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You start making your way to the address Rarity provided.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Unsurprisingly, ponies give you a wide berth. The ones too slow to make it look natural do their best to avoid looking at you until you pass.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...On the plus side, you never have to worry about crowds.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You do your best to ignore the stares, instead focusing on the task at hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not that there's much to do.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Since you're a guest in Rarity's place, you felt it natural to offer a hand in her chores, whether it be work in the boutique or picking up household items.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She tried to decline your help at first, but you also brought up everything she made for you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Custom-tailored shirts, pants, boxers (that was a fun discussion), the works.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Turns out she's kinda good at making clothes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you came along, dressed to the toes, it was like a dream come true for her. &quot;The chance to create for someone who regularly wears clothes and switches out for something new each /day/?!?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You swear she orgasmed when you told her that tidbit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Of course all of this was after the initial commotion.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You digress.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thus, Rarity had absolutely no problem with giving you clothing and shelter.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The same couldn't be said for you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A man can't accept all that free shit without paying it back somehow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So with a little begging, you convinced her to give you odd jobs around the boutique.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fix this, replace that, hold this, deliver that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Speaking of deliveries, you're here.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thank you random flashback.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You reach the two-story house, knocking on the door before turning your attention to the nearby window.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This mare is going to push aside the curtains ever so gently, spot your unamused form standing here and instantly move away from the window. Then she'll start praying to whatever deity in hopes that you leave.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's routine at this point.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sure enough, a curious face peeks from behind the window.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Said face fills with horror when it sees you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Said face removes itself in a flash.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Might as well just leave the bag here and head back. Not like anyone is going to steal it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You bend down to place the bag directly in front of the door.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's at this moment you hear the door handle shift, and the door creeks open.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;From behind it a head cautiously pokes out, revealing a light-rose pegasus.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She says nothing, staring at your lowered head.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You don't want to scare her off so you remain frozen in place.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A minute goes by.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Is she okay?</span><br />&quot;Are you Ms. Meadow Flower?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;That seems to wake her up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She faintly nods, her light-gold mane bobbing with her.</span><br />&quot;The scarf you sent in to Rarity has been repaired. It's in here.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You hold out the bag.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She stares at it for a few seconds before slowly reaching to take it with a foreleg.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Easy now, Anon... Don't make any sudden movements.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're careful to avoid touching her as she grabs the straps. When the bag is securely with her you release it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She lets go of a strap, looking inside at the scarf.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ms. Flower must be satisfied because she looks back to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Thank you.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;......</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Did she just...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Did she actually...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Say something back, you idiot!</span><br />&quot;Yea.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Smooth.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Meadow Flower must have no issue with your response because she nods once before fading back behind the door, closing it with a thud.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You straighten up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Holy shit, someone actually answered the door.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Even better, they thanked you!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You start your return trip to the boutique.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe things are beginning to turn around for you.</span><br /><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You find no signs of Spike as you pass by Rarity.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I presume everything went swimmingly?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Even better. Ms. Flower actually /thanked/ me. Crazy, I know.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You sit down on a nearby couch that's too low to the ground for your taste.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just like every seat in Ponyville.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity is frowning.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Has /nopony/ ever shown appreciation for you?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Until today. What, did you think I was lying about their reactions?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Goodness no! I... may have thought you were exaggerating just a teensy bit, but I never expected such rudeness from ponies!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You shrug.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Back on Earth you'd be furious at being treated like this, but having small talking horses do it only makes you feel empty inside.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After all, /you/ are the odd one out.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, just know that there's one more mare who appreciates your work.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity brings a hoof to her chest, smiling at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't help but return it.</span><br />&quot;You charmer, you.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She returns to her project, leaving you to contemplate the mysteries of the universe.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For starters, are you even /in/ the same universe as Earth?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;An unknown period of time goes by as you let your mind wander.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With all forms of electronic entertainment gone, you've gotten quite good at day-dreaming.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For instance, you need to check out that Everfree Forest Rarity and Rainbow Dash mentioned. There's countless miles of terrain to explore here yet you haven't left the boundaries of Ponyville.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Movement ahead snaps you out of your thoughts.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity has stopped sewing and has adjusted herself to face you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous...&quot;</span><br />&quot;Hmmm?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's looking at you intently. Does she want something?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;When you left, Spike and I had a little chat. Nothing more than a polite how-do-you-do and inquiry into his and Twilight's recent activities.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Okay...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Aw fuck, does she want to vent her troubles onto you? Women...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;He mentioned something... intriguing, to say the least. Something you and Twilight only recently discovered?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Something you and Book Horse only recently--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh.</span><br />&quot;What, the booping?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity fakes a small cough.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Err yes, the 'booping'. Such a concept sounds... well, absurd--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's not wrong.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;--but if my friends say it works, who am I to argue?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Looks like someone isn't a believer.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You raise a finger ominously.</span><br />&quot;Would you care for a sample?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Uhhh....&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity stares at your hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can see a mixture of curiosity, desire, and hesitance dancing across her face.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You won't push it. Either she accepts or--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...oh what the hay. One try won't hurt.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sweet.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Before you can get up, she's already out her seat and making her way to the couch.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She climbs up on the soft seating, parking herself right next to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's nothing more than a simple touch of the nose?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's dubious, understandably.</span><br />&quot;Yup. Don't move.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity stays perfectly still, only her moderate-azure eyes keeping track of your incoming finger.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Impact in three...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Two...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;One...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;/Never/ gets old.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Similar to Twilight, Rarity's eyes widen in awe.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous darling, this is magnificent! I... I feel as though I could create one hundred new dress designs, each more fabulous than the last!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Little more contained than Book Horse but you're not surprised.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The reaction itself is always positive; how they display that positivity changes with each pony.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Better tell that to Twilight, assuming she hasn't already figured it out.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity laughs, her indigo mane swaying with her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It sounds so... /posh/, like she's a pony of the highest class.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Then again, she does carry herself as such.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You have a remarkable talent! Think of all the ponies you could help, all with a single touch!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not like you haven't thought about that.</span><br />&quot;That would require ponies to trust me.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Who /wouldn't/ trust you after experiencing such a delightful feeling?&quot;</span><br />&quot;I've actually given this some thought, Rarity. I don't want 'boops noses' to be my only redeeming quality.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Everypony has to start somewhere, Anonymous, and I do believe you've been given quite the head start.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br />&quot;I'll keep that in mind.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity appears to have come down from her high. She sighs, glancing down at your hands folded neatly on your lap.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I was not expecting your claw to be so... delicately soft. A good thing, of course.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Time for a shitty crash course in human anatomy.</span><br />&quot;These aren't claws.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You raise your hand.</span><br />&quot;All of this leading down to my wrist--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You use your other hand to gesture.</span><br />&quot;Is called a hand. These four 'claws'--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wiggle your fingers.</span><br />&quot;--are called fingers. Singular is finger. This short digit off to the side--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You give a thumbs up.</span><br />&quot;--is called a thumb.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're surprised to see Rarity this engrossed in your lesson.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hand, finger, thumb. Got it.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yea, humans don't have claws. Instead we've been gifted the Ninety-nine Cent Store rip-off more commonly known as nails.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You rotate your hand so the back faces her, directing her attention to the top of your fingers.</span><br />&quot;So while we have something semi-sharp and hard to tear whatever with--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You flip your hand over.</span><br />&quot;--the front side is soft.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You reach out to lightly press against Rarity's shoulder.</span><br />&quot;See?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You hope she doesn't mind the extended contact. You want her to retain this information, not go back to cloud nine.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes are trained on your hand as it reaches her, yet she doesn't flinch when you touch her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Unfortunately, not even a second goes by before she gasps sharply.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You waste no time extracting your hand.</span><br />&quot;I... I should've asked first. Sorry.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just because she's one of the few ponies who gives you the time of day doesn't mean ALL boundaries go out the window, retard.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You watch Rarity for any reaction.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's unmoving, staring at the spot where you touched her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You silently face forward, hoping she snaps out of it soon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She doesn't sound infuriated, at the very least.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You begrudgingly look back at her.</span><br />&quot;Yes?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's no longer glued to her shoulder. Instead she's eyeing you with...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Interest?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Could you... by any chance... do that again?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What.</span><br />&quot;What.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Your hand. It was... soothing.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Soothing'?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Whatever, just oblige the lady.</span><br />&quot;Sure.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You reach back to Rarity's shoulder, again placing you hand flat against her coat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;/Damn/ she is soft.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have to resist a near-overpowering urge to stroke her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is the first time you've had extended contact with anyone outside of a handshake with Twilight, which hardly counts.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your hand has quickly gone numb from fighting to keep it still, so you flex your fingers once to breathe some life back into them.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That sparks a reaction from Rarity.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She tenses up, emitting another gasp.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Acting on instinct, you remove your hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;NO!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You flinch at the abrupt outburst.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Evidently she wasn't expecting it either, because she hastily attempts to correct herself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I mean, don't! Please, that was such a... exquisite sensation!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just by touching her?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...You must have special hands.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity shifts herself so her side isn't as close to the back of the couch.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Third time's the charm, yes?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Once again you find your hand pressed against her indescribably soft coat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She definitely likes this, but it's on a much smaller scale compared--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Try moving your... hand.&quot;</span><br />&quot;What, like rubbing your shoulder?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes yes, whatever you want to call it.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Alright.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You begin a small circling motion, enjoying how her coat tickles your palm.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity already liked it before, but your hand's movement is having quite the effect on her now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes are closed and she's actually leaning a little into your hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Such gentleness. Have you ever worked as a masseur?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Nah.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;This would hardly count as a massage. It's more like...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Don't say it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash is an exception, Anon. Rarity /will/ eat you alive.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Would you mind servicing my back? It can become sore after a long day.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're no master masseur, but if she enjoys it...</span><br />&quot;Yea, no problem.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She wordlessly lowers herself to stretch across the remainder of the seat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You start on her back, only this time you perform back-and-forth motions.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...She looks like she could melt into the couch if she tried.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity's head rests on her crossed forelegs. The best way to describe her facial expression would be one of pure bliss.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You know you made a joke comparison between Rainbow Dash and dogs a few days ago, but seriously.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not that you're complaining. Are all ponies this soft?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You spend the next several minutes giving Rarity a proper pet-- massage.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;At this point you think she might have actually fallen asleep. She's completely unmoving.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You cease your movements; it only takes a few seconds to get an answer.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity's eyelids flutter open, azure eyes trying to focus.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Mmmm... Thank you, darling.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She makes no effort to sit up, instead adjusting her head to face you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fuck man, you want what these ponies are having.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I suppose it WOULD be selfish of me to expect such ministrations to last forever. Not even a spa visit has left me feeling so... relaxed.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She sighs in contentment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;If only I knew of your talents sooner!&quot;</span><br />&quot;Shit man, /I'm/ just now learning about them!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;A faint ear-spasm is her only reaction to your foul language.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yup, she's all buttered up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Time to add another mark under what-in-the-fuck-is-going-on-even.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not only are you able to light up ponies day with a nose boop, apparently you can induce a near-coma state just by petting them.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're /seriously/ questioning if you didn't gain some superpowers upon arrival.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe you can shoot laser beams if you make a finger pistol?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nope.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Let's hope Rarity didn't see that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your hands are nothing special to you, but you swear they were designed to bring pleasure to these small horses.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Absolutely ridiculous.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous dear, could you do something for me?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You turn your attention back to her.</span><br />&quot;What's up?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She sticks her nose up... literally.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I would take great delight in receiving another... 'boop' as you call it.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;From booping to petting and back to booping.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can easily sniff out a potential addict when you see one.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Holy shit, are your hands a drug to ponies?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That would explain EVERYTHING.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That would also be INCREDIBLY fucking stupid.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Still can't leave it out.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Anonymous?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh right.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ah well, no harm in another one.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's the addict, not Rarity.</span><br />&quot;Of course.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Up goes a finger.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Let's add a little flair to this one.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You twirl your finger dramatically, and...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br />-----<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'You're welcome.'</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Those two words repeat in your head like a scratched record as you search for a suitable table to enjoy your smoothie.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;From a short nod of the head to a verbal response. That cashier really stepped up her game since your last visit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If this keeps up, someone might even say 'hello' to you!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You park your rear at a table for two, making sure to turn the seat away from the other ponies there.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Although you can't see it, you can feel their stares boring into your back.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Taking a sip of your drink, you idly watch the slow hustle and bustle of Ponyville.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's like everyone knows each other. Ponies frequently wave to others and greet by name.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Meanwhile you can list like seven at the most.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You don't need to be greeted by name. You're perfectly fine with 'hello'.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;See, that cashier knew what's up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You continue your smoothie assault... until something feels off.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yea, it's definitely not your imagination.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Most of the ponies near you have stopped talking.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What little conversation you hear is whispered.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You swear you also notice the chatter of passing ponies die out as they approach your general area.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Don't be rude, Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe something else is making them go quiet.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Maybe you're doing a piss-poor job of convincing yourself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ugh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The tiny buzz you were riding from the cashier's politeness has vanished, replaced by the oh-so-familiar feeling of emptiness.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Being shunned by multicolored talking horses shouldn't make you feel this way.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Honestly, what were you thinking?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As if you could realistically pop a squat in the center of Ponyville without attracting attention.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The bad kind of attention.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Time to blow this popsicle stand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But where will you go?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You could always visit the Everfree Forest. That's still on your to-do list.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...No.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What you want right now is a conversation.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A normal, back-and-forth conversation between two individuals.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight does not fit that bill, seeing as she's still hung up on the booping and your history.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're starting to understand why the princess strongly suggested for Book Horse to put a cork in the questions.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Once she gets going...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe Skittles is available. Sure she has a tendency to focus on herself but you can at least exchange banter.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yea, you'll find her. Wherever she is.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Mister Anonymous?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Huh?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You turn to the voice in question.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Standing before you is an earth pony mare. Her light opal-ish coat clashes surprisingly well with her brilliant cerise mane.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's clear she's nervous but she hides it well... or at least better than most other ponies.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her stance is casual; the biggest tell is the distance she keeps between you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just enough to book it at a moment's notice, but not too far as to appear rude.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Impressive.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can see her pupils contract a teensy bit when you make eye contact, yet she doesn't budge.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This one is brave.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You'll take nervous-yet-approaching ponies over non-approaching ones.</span><br />&quot;That's me. Can I help you?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;My name is Ruby Splash. I'm here because of Rarity.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Now you're curious. What did Rarity tell this mare to do?</span><br />&quot;Okay...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We were talking yesterday and she mentioned how you have a special talent called... 'boops'? Booping?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh for fuck's sake.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You'd love to know how they ended up on that topic in the first place.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In hindsight you should've seen this coming.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With all the gossip she feeds to you (whether you like it or not), it only makes sense Rarity would blab.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;How many ponies did she tell?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Not that it matters.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're surprised whenever anyone musters up the courage to talk to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The chance of a pony letting you /touch/ them?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So yea, there's nothing to get worked up over.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...I should go.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ruby is taking a few steps backwards, eyes never leaving you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You lean forward a bit.</span><br />&quot;Wait.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She stops on a dime, frozen in her retreating pose.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't help but chuckle at the comical sight.</span><br />&quot;Yes, apparently I have a talent for touching noses, among other things.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Heh.</span><br />&quot;How come?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ruby stands straight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well... I was, um, wondering if... uhh... you...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You swear there's beads of sweat rolling down her head.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She was doing so well earlier. What gives?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Whoops.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You break your gaze from her, instead taking extreme interest in a patch of dirt near her hooves.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That does the trick.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...you could... if you don't mind... uhm... &quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have a good premonition of where this is going but you want her to say it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...couldyoutryboopingme?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There we go.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Wow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Either the denizens of Ponyville are warming up to you faster than you thought, or Ruby here has a Cutie Mark specializing in taking risks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not that there's any risk with you. Of course they don't think that, but whatever.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well if the residents are starting to like you more, they have a funny way of showing it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...You're going off track now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's a pressing issue at hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Do you?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Do you boop Ruby Splash?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is exactly what you didn't want to happen when your talents got revealed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ponies only interested in the booping, not you as a person.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe you're selfish, but you don't want to be liked solely for one thing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;On the other hand...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If you don't boop her, Ruby leaves a disappointed mare. Technically not your problem.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Except what if she relays her experience to other ponies?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Shit, it's not even a matter of 'what if', it's a matter of 'when'.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She tells them you're a big meanie head, which will only push you further away from any sort of acceptance.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;God dammit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Damned if you do, damned if you don't.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In these situations, the only choice is the lesser of two evils.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You sigh.</span><br />&quot;Sure.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ruby gasps, taking in a deep lungful of air before panting.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The fuck?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Was she holding her breath this entire time?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Once her breathing has stabilized she looks back to you, the weight of your answer sinking in.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Great!... Uhm, so is there anything I need to... do?&quot;</span><br />&quot;I need you to step closer so I can reach you.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Okay...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ruby begins to cover the short distance between the pair of you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her prior standing point must've been a comfort zone, because you can see her legs shaking as she approaches.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Or maybe she's antsy for the main event, who knows?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Keep dreaming, Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ruby comes to a stop right in front of you. She audibly gulps, which you ignore.</span><br />&quot;Don't move.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have a feeling she couldn't move even if she wanted to.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Better not half-ass this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Is there even a way to half-ass it? Maybe brush her nose instead of pressing it?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You raise a hand slowly so she can clearly see what you're about to do.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes track your approaching finger, pupils contracting with each inch covered.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fear not, Ruby, you'll be gentle.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She stopped breathing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Again.</span><br />&quot;Breathe.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Good.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're pleased to see her respond the same as everyone else you booped.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;These hands don't discriminate.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Wow! It's... how... WOW!!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You grin.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Hard to remain moody with a reaction like that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;This is wonderful! I... I need to thank Rarity for telling me about this!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ruby finally directs her attention to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thank you Mister Anonymous! You're amazing!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your heart lurches.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't find the words to accurately describe just how much that compliment means to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That is undoubtedly the boop speaking for her but you appreciate the gesture all the same.</span><br />&quot;Happy to help.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;With a jump in her step, Ruby Splash twirls around and prances away. You can hear a small tune coming from her as well.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That felt nice. More than nice.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe she'll tell her friends about the nice human and others will start liking you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Waitshitno.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's exactly what you DON'T want.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ponies acknowledging your hands instead of you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ugh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Perhaps you're overthinking this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're not dealing with dumb animals. These ponies are no different than humans in regards to thoughts and feelings.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Surely they can look beyond your talent and see the real you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can give this proper thought another time. At the moment you just want to finish your smoothie.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You bring the straw to your lips...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...and stop.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ponies are looking at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ponies are /staring/ at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ponies have stopped going about their day and are instead choosing to gawk at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You turn in your seat to check behind you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Yup, no difference there.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This goes beyond the &quot;polite&quot; stares you receive when they think you don't know.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is the highest degree of blatancy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;How long have they been doing this?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh fuck.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;All of them saw your little stunt with Ruby Splash, didn't they.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Can't a man boop a mare in public without being judged?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You didn't assault her, so hopefully they don't jump to the worst conclusions.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In fact her cheerful gait should help prove otherwise.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Alright, this is getting tiring.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're relieved to see no angry faces anywhere but it's not exactly admiration they're giving you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Best to slink away until they forget about it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You reluctantly rise from your chair, taking a moment to stretch.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Time to find Rainbow Dash.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Probably still sleeping, the lazy fuck.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You keep your gaze straight ahead as you forge a path away from the area.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In your peripheral vision you can see ponies finally starting to continue about their day.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Took long enough.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Mister Anonymous?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Are you hearing things?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Did someone call you for the second time today?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A new record!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Also wow, you didn't expect ponies to remember your name.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You turn around to find an earth pony stallion looking up at you. Trepidation practically oozes from him, his brown mane shaking a hefty amount.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He's trying though. You have to give him top marks for that.</span><br />&quot;Is there anything I can help you with?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Seeing as how he had to get your attention he's already standing somewhat close to you, making your height difference even more noticeable.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe that's why he's a jittery wreck.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes... I-- I was watching y-- I noticed you, uh, were talking to-- to Ruby! Ruby Splash, yes?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You nod.</span><br />&quot;Yes.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;This might take a while.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Right! And I couldn't... help but-- but take interest in your, uhm, meeting... NOT THAT I WAS STARING.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He lets out a shaky laugh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Just passing by, that's all!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;So it surprised me to-- to see Ruby in such an overjoyed state... Because you touched her, not because she was talking to you!... Not that's there's anything wrong with touching... her.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Awful wording aside, you desperately wish he would get to the point already.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes, so uhm... I'm really curious to know more about this-- this 'booping' as she called it?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fucking FINALLY.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Wait a second, was he eavesdropping as well?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nosy bastard.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Alright, how do you explain this without sounding mental?</span><br />&quot;It's very simple. I touch someone's nose and it feels good.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's really no other way to put it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...That's it?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's a hint of disbelief poking through.</span><br />&quot;Yup. No tricks or anything of the sort.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;The stallion shifts around on his hooves and you catch a peek of his Cutie Mark. Three horseshoes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have no clue what that symbolizes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After a few seconds of silence he speaks up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Could I-- if you don't mind of course-- possibly maybe experience it for myself? The booping, that is.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;First Ruby, now this guy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Curious little buggers aren't they.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Today is a good day...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For all the wrong reasons.</span><br />&quot;Yea...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Great! So, uhm, I'll just stand here...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You guide your free hand towards the goal: his nose.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As it approaches him, he leans back further and further until it's a miracle he hasn't fallen over.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You raise an eyebrow.</span><br />&quot;Please stay still.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Okay.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;His voice is a whisper.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You crack a smile.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't help it, their excitement is infectious.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I feel refreshed! Better than a good night's sleep, or a midday nap!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He focuses on you again.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;HOW do you do it?!? It can't possibly be nothing more than touching your nose!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He brings a hoof up to press his nose, probably hoping for similar results.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;No point in lying, it won't look good on you.</span><br />&quot;Like I said, there are no tricks whatsoever. From the looks of it, only I can do it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That sounds absurd!&quot;</span><br />&quot;I /know/. Go try it on someone else, you'll see.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;He shakes his head, chuckling softly.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Looks like the major effect wore off.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, trick or not, it's an incredible feeling. Thanks, Mister Anonymous.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Any trace of nerves he had before is gone; he's talking to you like any normal person would.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Once again undoubtedly the effects of the booping.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Still feels great.</span><br />&quot;Anytime.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;He smiles. A genuine smile.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I may hold you to that.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Shit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The stallion raises a hoof in farewell before walking past you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You never had someone wave goodbye.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You need to give this booping business some serious thought.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not now. Later.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you're alone and not being ogled by everyone.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;AGAIN.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Can't a man boop a stallion in public without being judged?</span><br />-----<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This punch is pretty good.</span><br />&quot;You want some, Twilight?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse pauses from her feathery assault on the bookshelf to look at you. When she sees your offering, she frantically shakes her head.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No time!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You tried.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You ladle some more into your cup before heading back to your seat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;At your place of comfort, you take in the sight before you for the millionth time.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight is doing some last minute tidying of the library before Princess Celestia arrives to size you up and make sure you aren't secretly planning the downfall of Equestria.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Of course she didn't explicitly say that but come on, why else would a monarch visit you?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've seen a picture of her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rainbow mane, taller than other ponies, wings AND a horn?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She just screams 'leader'.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight assuaged any reservations you had of meeting Celestia. Supposedly she's really nice.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You hope so.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thus here you sit, watching Book Horse run around like a chicken with its head cut off.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not like you haven't tried to calm her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Aren't /you/ supposed to be the anxious one right now?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Twilight, don't you think we've cleaned enough? Princess Celestia will be here any minute!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Poor Spike has been subject to Twilight's possible-OCD. He wears an apron slightly too long for him as he sweeps.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He's been standing in that spot for the past thirty minutes and Twilight still hasn't noticed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That's exactly WHY we haven't cleaned enough!... You missed a spot!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight whirls around, yanking the broom out of his grasp in a purple aura. She proceeds to...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Tidy up the same place he was sweeping.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sheesh, the princess really brings out the maniac in Book Horse.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We've been at this for two hours! Two! Didn't we clean yesterday to avoid this?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yea, you made me come here two hours early.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't help but back Spike up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight continues to sweep the life out of the floor.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Sorry guys, but there's nothing wrong with a small change of plans to make sure everything goes right.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Good god, she's a monster.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She needs to be stopped for the sake of humanity.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Or ponykind?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Regardless, this is where you come in.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A boop should calm her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Actually no. You have a better solution.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sure you've only gotten results from one mare, but you'll be incredibly surprised if it doesn't work.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;/Especially/ on someone like Twilight who has no qualms with spending the rest of her life getting her nose pressed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You stand up, ambling slowly towards the lavender unicorn still engrossed in sweeping.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her tongue sticks out the side of her mouth as she zeros in on non-existent dust.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike watches with interest as you crouch down to meet Twilight at head height.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's only now she notices the human beside her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Do you need annnn...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's voice dies in her throat when your hand makes contact with her back.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Now just add a little movement, and...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Less than a minute later, Twilight is resting comfortably on the floor as you service her withers.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her coat isn't as velvety as Rarity's but she's just as warm.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She tried to put up a fight in the form of asking how the hell you can do this. Sadly she never got past 'how'.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Is this another one of your abilities?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Apparently.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike sighs in resignation.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Why do I already know it won't work on me?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's impossible to mistake the look he's giving Twilight for anything other than envy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're willing to test it out on him but you have a sinking feeling he's right.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Poor, poor Spike.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;His only mistake was not being a pony.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse takes no notice of her assistant's woes, instead continuing to stare dreamily into space. An ear flicks every so often.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Reminds you of a cat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ponies are one-half dog, one-half cat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It all makes sense now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Uhh, Twilight? Shouldn't you, oh I dunno, prepare yourself to greet Princess Celestia?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's okay Spike... Everything is okay.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's achieved complete tranquility.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Holy shit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It hasn't dawned on you until now just how powerful your hands are.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If they can pacify someone like panic-mode Twilight...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've been gifted a great responsibility.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;To use your powers for good or evil, the choice is yours.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Entire nations could crumble at the touch of a mane.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Perhaps you could even wrest the throne from Princess Celestia herself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She would beg for mercy, calling you a monster as you gently stroked her side, whispering that it would all be over soon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You snicker.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is incredibly stupid.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fun and stupid.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike rolls his eyes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He can't read minds... right?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Suddenly there's a knock at the door.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'll get it!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike heads off, leaving you and Twilight alone.</span><br />&quot;You have to get up. How would your princess feel if she saw you like this?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Happy... Please don't stop.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Now it's your turn to roll your eyes.</span><br />&quot;There's this thing called 'moderation', y'know. You'll eventually get sick of this if you let it go on for too long.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Doubt it.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;God dammit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Approaching footsteps (hoofsteps?) remind you to expect company.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Twilight Sparkle?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Who's Twilight Sparkle? You only know of Twilight Sprinkles.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You look up from the comatose mare.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Standing not far from you is...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Princess Celestia?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The pegacorn ('alicorn' makes no sense, c'mon) before you looks /nothing/ like the picture Twilight showed you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For starters, this one is dark blue, a stark contrast to the EXTREMELY light-pink mare you expected.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her mane is not a rainbow; instead a sapphire blue.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It also moves.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her mane is moving, waving like it's been caught in a light breeze. Your scrutiny also lets you make out the odd blinking point on it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It reminds you of the night sky.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Finishing off your examination, she wears black regalia in the form of a necklace and crown. Her necklace bears an imprint of a crescent moon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is most certainly not the sun princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight needs to work on her photography or something, 'cuz she fucked up /big time/.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Princess Luna?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Who?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Princess Luna' is currently giving you the same expression of perplexity you feel.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight never mentioned this pegacorn.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Does that mean Equestria is under a diarchy?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna slowly directs her gaze to Twilight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The same Twilight you've been petting into submission for the past few minutes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh shit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You withdraw your hand faster than a horny teen caught jerkin' the gherkin.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So fast, you smack yourself on the side.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ow...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You say nothing, opting to let royalty speak first.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Greetings friends, and Our sincerest apologies for the confusion. Sister had an emergency meeting to attend, leaving Us to fill her spot.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Us'?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight must still be recovering, because she remains firmly rooted to her spot.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's good to see you again, Princess Luna. Don't worry about the mistake. Today is too nice of a day to worry about those things.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna gives Twilight an odd look before facing you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Get off your ass, Anon! Show some respect!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You rise to your full height.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Princess Luna is undoubtedly taller than other ponies but she still falls quite short when compared to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You still aren't sure if you should say anything or--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous. It is a pleasure to finally meet beyond the Realm of Dreams.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br />&quot;What.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've always been good at first impressions.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Realm of Dreams'? What the hell is that?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have definitely never seen this pony before.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna isn't phased by your ignorance.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We are eager to converse under more... stable conditions. Your dreams can become interesting, to say the least.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br />&quot;What?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;What the hell is she talking about? What do your dreams have to do with anything?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Princess Luna's calm exterior cracks, showing a hint of annoyance.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Did We not make ourselves clear? Must We repeat ourselves?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Who the FUCK is 'we'???</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You feel like you're losing it.</span><br />&quot;We've never met! EVER!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;At least your volume isn't overkill.</span><br />&quot;And I don't know what the hell my dreams have to do with anything.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna is bewildered, to say the least. She looks at you like /you're/ the one in the wrong.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thou do not recall any of our exchanges?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You shake your head in frustration.</span><br />&quot;We. Have. Never. Met. Maybe you've mistaken me for someone... else.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh. Right.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thy name is Anonymous, correct? The only hue-mun in Equestria?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What happened to her speech? Why is she throwing in bits of ye-olde-English all of a sudden?</span><br />&quot;Yes, that is my name.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Then We are most certainly not mistaken. Thy dreams are like no other pony's.&quot;</span><br />&quot;What's so special about my dreams? You keep mentioning them.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're going insane with the lack of critical information being fed to you. How you haven't jumped out a window yet is beyond you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Is that not where thou was first introduced to Us?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Stay calm, Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've gone this long without having a mental breakdown.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Surely you can go another few weeks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Deep breaths.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Remember, this is Ponyland.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;They have magic and mythical creatures.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For fuck's sake, YOU might as well be magical with your newfound 'powers'.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Anything is possible here.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...You okay Anon?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike's voice brings you back to reality.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He's standing to the side, halfway between you and the Princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You let out a deep breath.</span><br />&quot;Yea.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You gaze deeply into Luna's moderate cyan eyes, hoping to hell your next words get through to her.</span><br />&quot;I'm sorry Princess Luna. I have absolutely no recollection of meeting you, anywhere.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna stares back with an intensity that would make a lying man squirm.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Eventually she responds.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Very well Anonymous. We have little reason to think thou would mislead Us. Perhaps the Dream Realm plays a different role in hue-muns.&quot;</span><br />&quot;'Dream Realm'?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes. Do hue-muns not experience a dream state?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yea, but I almost never remember any of mine. Most people don't.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Princess Luna's expression falls flat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thou... hath never recalled a dream before?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Rarely. The memory fades quickly after waking up.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Princess Luna looks away in thought.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Of course...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When she faces you again, there's a small smile on her face.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;A thousand pardons, Anonymous. It was foalish of Us to act on assumptions.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wave a hand dismissively.</span><br />&quot;It's all good.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Then We suppose a proper greeting is in order.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna's wings extends as she begins to speak, giving an impressive show.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We are Princess Luna, Guardian of the Night, sister to the Princess of the Sun. It is a pleasure to meet you.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She takes a short bow, which you return afterwards.</span><br />&quot;I'm Anonymous.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wish you had a cool moniker.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's an honor to meet you.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Hold the fuck up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You glance down to Twilight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's finally recovered from your session and is sitting up straight, eyes set on the princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She must feel your gaze burning a hole in her head, because she looks up at you.</span><br />&quot;Why did you NOT tell me there was another princess???&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Mild surprise.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Of course I did!... Right?&quot;</span><br />&quot;NO! If you had, this entire situation could've been avoided!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse is rapidly sorting through her memory banks to see if you're wrong.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Obviously you're not, and she shakes her head.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm terribly sorry, Anonymous. I don't know how such a huge detail could've gone unspoken.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's taking it quite well. Must be because of the petting.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You roll your eyes, turning back to Princess Luna who is watching Twilight with great interest.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If you had to take a guess, you'd say she isn't thrilled with Twilight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wouldn't be either. How did you manage to go this long without learning about Luna?</span><br />&quot;It's alright. Mistakes were made, we learn and move on.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We must say, Anonymous, the manner in which you now carry yourself is a delightful contrast to what We have come to expect.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her outdated speech is gone now, yet she keeps saying 'we'. Who is 'we'?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's also weird that she knows you and your mannerisms through... dreaming.</span><br />&quot;First impressions are important.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We recall our first introduction was met with, and We quote, 'Who the fuck are you?' You later explained that the word 'fuck' is highly offensive to humans.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Someone please kill you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's eyes are wide, likely due to shock over having a princess utter such vulgar dialect.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike is staring in awe as though he just discovered his new hero.</span><br />&quot;I, uh... That wasn't /me/ speaking, y'know? I wouldn't... usually say those things.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your voice dies down as the smirk on Princess Luna's face grows.</span><br />&quot;To royalty.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You mumble that last part.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We do not hold ill will towards you; rather, We enjoy your unfiltered view of the world.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Unfiltered... Oh god, what else did I say?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Perhaps We will share another day. In the meantime, We believe there is a suitable table waiting for us?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You /really/ want to know what other unspeakable horrors you divulged to the princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Of course! Right this way.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight stands up, walking past you to the carefully prepared table of various goodies fit for royalty and picky humans.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You gesture for Luna to go ahead.</span><br />&quot;Ladies first.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She walks by, leaving Spike standing by his lonesome.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm not a girl.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You huff in amusement before following Luna.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Let the meeting begin</span><br /><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In hindsight, you should've figured it out yourself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Princess Celestia raises the sun.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's only natural that Princess Luna would raise the moon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well, as natural as moving two celestial bodies.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Don't think about it, Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Remember, Ponyland.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've been conversing with Twilight, Spike, and Luna for some time now. Turns out the Princess of the Night is quite relaxed and easygoing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thank goodness, you can't stand having to heavily watch what you say.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Due to Luna already having knowledge on you it's been an equal-sided discussion, something you've missed over the past week.</span><br />&quot;Does that mean you're nocturnal?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna pauses from nibbling on a cookie.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;In a way, yes. Most of Our hours spent awake are during the night. However, the call to sleep does not affect Us as it does other ponies.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've come to accept her usage of the 'royal We', confusing as it gets.</span><br />&quot;So you don't sleep at all?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;A couple of hours at most.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Cool.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just imagine the things you could get done if you only had to rest for a few hours a day.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna directs her attention to Twilight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Twilight Sparkle, how have your studies been going? Would you like Us to relay a message to Sister upon Our return?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight takes a moment to think.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hmmm... Nothing comes to mind.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike gives Twilight an incredulous look.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Really? You can't think of /anything/ worth mentioning?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He glances at you, then back to Twilight. You, Book Horse, you, Book Horse.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ohhh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You smile.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fortunately Twilight isn't so dense as to miss the obvious implication.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Not yet, Spike. There's countless amounts of testing that still needs to be finished before I can present my findings to Princess Celestia.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike grins.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Of course. You've really been enjoying all the 'testing' Anon has done for you... No, /on/ you.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You snort.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Cheeky little dragon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's cheeks darken at his remark.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It can't be helped if the process is enjoyable.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yea, /really/ enjoyable.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You involuntarily let out a small giggle.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;'Testing'? Have you started a new project?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna's interjection saves Spike from the scathing glare of Twilight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse rubs a shoulder with a hoof, still red in the face from embarrassment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes, but... Well, not exactly. It's difficult to explain.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hardly! Anon boops noses and ponies like it, what else is there to it?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If looks could kill...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous does /what/?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight groans.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous, can you please explain to Princess Luna what 'booping' is?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Sure&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You make out Luna quietly mouthing the word to herself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Any reservations you had on explaining it to others has withered away. If they don't believe you, you can just show them.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You quickly relay your discovery to the princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's intrigued, to say the least.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Do hue-muns have magic of their own?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Nope.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No special technique?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Uh-uh.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna ponders this new information.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Fascinating...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You grin, raising a finger.</span><br />&quot;Wanna see it in action? I'm sure Twilight wouldn't mind assisting me with a demonstration.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight glowers at you, the effect ruined by the dark purple dotting her cheeks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I am NOT a guinea pig!&quot;</span><br />&quot;I didn't hear a no...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna interrupts your fun.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Instead of demonstrating on Twilight Sparkle, We would be interested in experiencing this phenomenon for Ourselves.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Oh.</span><br />&quot;Uhm... okay.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna obviously pays attention, because she leans slightly over the table to allow you better access to her nose.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Whenever you are ready, Anonymous.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your still-raised finger is guided towards her awaiting nose.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Shit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Do you even know what you're doing?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're about to boop a princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A princess who enters dreams and raises the goddamn moon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You better not fuck this up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This needs to be the best damn boop you've ever given, and /then/ some.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Relax, Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've trained for this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rainbow Dash, Butterfly, Rarity...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Every single nose you touched was nothing more than a warmup.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This one is for the history books.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well shit, that was anticlimactic.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;On the plus side, you bet Luna has never made THAT face before.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's adorable really.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The Guardian of the Night is adorable.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It only takes a few seconds for the effects to kick in.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna focuses on you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If it weren't for the smile on her face and the sparkle in her eyes, you'd think nothing happened.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's very good at containing her emotions.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;To be expected of a leader, you suppose.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Then she speaks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What exhilaration! Such a rush of excitement and energy... We hath only experienced this joy on the battlefield!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna's wings extend out to their full length as she continues rattling off other events that made her feel this way.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You think you heard 'beating Sister' and 'spider toss' in there.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her verbiage has returned to including ye-olde speak, likely a byproduct of her enthusiasm.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You'd love to know why she does that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...with a final 'huzzah'!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Princess Luna finally regards you with a look of wonder.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thou are truly skilled in the art of booping. We are curious, Anonymous; thou hast other unmentioned abilities?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nah, it's not princess-suitable.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Did you see how Twilight looked when you came in? Anon can also give a really good massage!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The purple dragon deflates a little.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Not that I would know.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You join Twilight in staring daggers at him.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;God dammit, Spike.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fortunately you know Luna has these things called 'standards', seeing as she's a princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thou are a proficient masseur?&quot;</span><br />&quot;No. It's... apparently ponies also like when I... y'know, do that.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna brings a hoof up to her chin.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We are intrigued...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...There's no way, right?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Right.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Because she has standards.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Twilight Sparkle appeared to be in a state of bliss from your ministrations... Would thou care to further demonstrate thy skills?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fuck.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's interested.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Princess Luna has terrible standards.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But wait!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She gave you a choice!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...A &quot;choice&quot;.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Psh, as if you'd say no.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;First of all, she's a princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Secondly, you're not opposed to obliging the lady; it's just the last thing you expected was for a ruler of Equestria to basically ask you to pet her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well, duty calls...</span><br />&quot;If you want.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Good move, Anon. Put the ball back in her court.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Then it is settled. Does thou require We lie down?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Goddammit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight and Spike's facial expression perfectly capture your feelings at this moment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Disbelief, disbelief, and more disbelief.</span><br />&quot;Uhm, I don't think there's any need for that... Although Twilight /was/ sitting when we started.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna waits patiently for you to begin.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're in too deep now. There's no going back.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You rise from your chair, closing the short distance between you two.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The princess opted not to use a seat (much to Twilight's displeasure), instead sitting on a cushion.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thus, you're forced to crouch down, resting beside Luna on one knee.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She says nothing, silently watching your movements.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If you were on edge before...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This isn't just a simple touch of the nose.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That was child's play compared to your current task.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You are about to initiate full-on contact with the Princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have not trained for this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're flying blind.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your hand tentatively reaches out to her dark blue coat...</span><br /><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You'll give Luna credit, she succeeded where other ponies failed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Despite dissolving into nothing more than a blob with wings, she remains upright.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Speaking of wings, they rest unfurled and limp against her side.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes are closed, ears twitching similar to Twilight's.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have no idea what you were expecting but this probably should've been it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You continue your massaging. Luna's coat is extremely soft, nearly identical to Rarity's.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So this is what your life has come to.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your ancestors worked through their blood, sweat, and tears across hundreds, if not thousands of years, to produce you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And what do you do?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You pet a pony princess who controls the moon in a magical land with other magical creatures.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Life is weird.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Now is probably a good time to stop. Luna's gotten more than a 'demonstration' and if Rarity and Book Horse is any indication, you'll never receive a request to let up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You cease your movements, bringing your hand to rest limply at your side.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight and Spike have been watching, the former clearly jealous of the relaxed princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It doesn't take long for Luna to boot back up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She opens her eyes, staring into nothing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Eventually she adjusts herself from having been unconsciously leaning on your hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna looks at you with a calm expression.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous, how would you like a position working alongside me?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What.</span><br />&quot;...Doing what?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Suspicion creeps into your tone.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Your skills as a masseur and with... 'booping' have left me deeply impressed. I would love to have your talents around when they are needed.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Holy shit, you pet the 'royal We' out of her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're also trying to figure out how to approach this.</span><br />&quot;I don't know...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna is undeterred by your hesitance.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You will be paid handsomely, of course. All that will be required of you is to administer boops and massages to me as needed. You will called... The Royal Booper!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Only a natural-twenty will keep you from busting a gut laughing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The die shows...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twenty.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thank you, RNGesus.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You adopt a poker face of the Gods.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Being paid for work would be amazing. You could give Rarity proper payment and maybe even move out!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Assuming there's anywhere in Ponyville you could rent/buy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well, what about the working conditions? You wouldn't be surrounded by uneasy Ponyville residents anymore!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Instead you'd deal with uneasy ponies you've never met. Moving doesn't suddenly make everyone friendly to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Besides, from the last few days you think you're becoming a less-fearful sight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You calmly respond to Princess Luna.</span><br />&quot;Exotic as that sounds, I'm not sure I can accept.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna looks at you with curiosity as you speak.</span><br />&quot;For starters, it would be awfully selfish of me to only help one pony.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna huffs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I suppose I could share...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You ignore that.</span><br />&quot;And even if that wasn't the case, Twilight does need me for testing, pleasurable or otherwise.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You smirk at the lavender unicorn, who shoots you another weak glare.</span><br />&quot;So yea... Sorry but I have to decline.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna doesn't say a word, instead staring at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're still parked right beside her so being this close as she scrutinizes you is uncomfortable.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Finally she sighs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Very well, Anonymous. We will not push the matter any further. A shame.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Sorry.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You disappointed her so hard she went back to the 'royal We'.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;There is no reason to apologize. We understand and respect your decision. Just remember--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A dark-blue wing reaches out to wrap around you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;--the offer will always be available.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Damn this is cozy</span><br />&quot;I'll keep that in mind.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna smiles before releasing her hold on you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You stand up, rubbing your sore knee before hobbling back to your seat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With business back to normal you take a swig of your drink, enjoying the fruity flavor.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This punch really is good.</span></div></div>
</div><h3><span class="mw-headline" id="A_Magic_Touch_.28AiE.29.28Updated_5.2F7.29">A Magic Touch (AiE)(Updated 5/7)</span><a href="A_Magic_Touch_(AiE)(Updated#/editor/2" title="Edit section: A Magic Touch (AiE)(Updated 5/7)" data-section="2" class="edit-page icon icon-32px icon-edit enabled">Edit</a></h3><div>
<div dir="ltr" class="mw-geshi mw-code mw-content-ltr"><div class="gettext source-gettext">&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;C'mon, it'll be fun!&quot;</span><br />&quot;No thanks.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We've already raced by land and air--&quot;</span><br />&quot;/You've/ raced by air.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rainbow Dash pays no mind to your interruption.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;--so all that' left is the sea!... Or pond, whatever.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You hate to ruin her fun but...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Actually no, you don't care.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You shake your head at the light-cerulean mare standing before you.</span><br />&quot;Based off recent results, I have a sneaking suspicion the outcome won't favor me. Ever.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;If only you knew what her Cutie Mark (such an absurd name) symbolized /before/ she challenged you to those two sprints.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Unsurprisingly the first event was a blowout.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After you gave her shit for using her wings she agreed to keep all four hooves on the ground.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The next run was much better, but you still lost.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That was when her orange friend finally spilled the beans.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Turns out Skittles is kind of fast.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fast, as in /really fucking fast/.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You know the word &quot;modest&quot; doesn't exist in her dictionary but all the praise was coming from Apples, not Dash.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What sealed the deal was the mention of a &quot;Sonic Rainboom&quot;, where Skittles flies so fast she basically creates a rainbow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Earth's counterpart is much less flashy, but they both have the same condition.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So yea, there's no way in hell you're winning against someone who can break the goddamn sound barrier.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Of course, Dash is undeterred by your rejection.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We're not running this time! Come on, Anon, I wouldn't be surprised if you actually managed to win!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So humble.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Admitting potential defeat? She must be desperate now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You'd love to know what fuels her to pester you so much.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe she just loves winning and you're so pathetically slow she can feed off your losses for eternity.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Possibly.</span><br />&quot;The last thing I want is to further increase the size of your ego.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash's wings flair out at your jab.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey, I'm not egotistic!&quot;</span><br />&quot;I never said you were...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You implied it! Don't try to weasel your way out of this like you always do!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Too late.</span><br />&quot;What if I implied interest in competing?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can see her expression struggling to remain irritated at you. With each passing second, it turns into skepticism.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Just implying, or...&quot;</span><br />&quot;I can't let you have a spotless record, ya know.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Damn you and your competitiveness.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Any trace of annoyance from her is gone, replaced with an excited grin.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's so quick to forgive.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash leaps into the air, hovering at head height.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Awesome! I'll go get Applejack and we'll meet you at the pond. You're going /down/!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She flies right in front of you, leaning forward so her face is centimeters away from yours.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Holy shit what is personal space and how does it work?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's a foreign concept to these little horses.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not that you have much first-hand experience. Most ponies keep their distance away from you, seeing as you're new and all.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Surprisingly Dash has proven herself to be a big exception.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're not sure if you love it or hate it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Little of column A, little of column B.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash breaks away from you, soaring away in the direction of what you remember is Applejack's place of residence.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You watch her for a little while before starting towards the pond.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's no way you'll lose this time.</span><br /><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your lungs could really use some oxygen right about now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's the final lap of the race, and you're giving it all you got.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can barely make out Rainbow Dash next to you. The pair of you have been almost dead even the entire time.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Come on, just a few... more... feet...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your hand finally makes contact with the dirt.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Time!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sweet relief, you can relax now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You raise yourself out of the pond, water cascading around you. You take a seat on the edge, legs partially submerged.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In hindsight, you should've brought a towel.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh well. The sun will suffice.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Beside you, Dash has also climbed out. Her wet mane is pressed flat against her head.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Interesting look.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Without warning, she begins to vigorously shake herself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Water droplets fly everywhere and you instinctively turn away to avoid taking the assault head-on.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;How long is she going to keep this up?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Eventually you no longer feel anything pelting your back, so you turn around to face a now-damp Dash.</span><br />&quot;Sheesh. What are you, a fuckin' dog?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She glances at you sheepishly.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, sorry about that. Maybe I should've moved--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her voice abruptly cuts off as your words finally sink in.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Who are you calling a 'dog'?!?&quot;</span><br />&quot;You! You're shaking yourself off just like one.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;The whole situation amuses you more than anything.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash doesn't appear to share your thoughts.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You mean /dogs/ shake themselves off like /ponies/. It was either this or a tornado.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're really interested in that first bit, but now isn't the time to ask.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Besides, you doubt she knows much more.</span><br />&quot;Ever heard of this thing called a towel?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Does it look like I brought a towel?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wish.</span><br />&quot;I wish. I could use one.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rainbow Dash stares at your exposed body.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The only thing you have on right now is a pair of boxers, seeing as swimming trunks don't exist in Equestria.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Crude, but it works.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Skittles can't fathom why you'd wear anything while swimming. That was a fun five minutes of explanation.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Even after some lewd gesturing and straight-talk, she remained unconvinced.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You know there's no underlying meaning to her-- or anyone else's-- staring outside of curiosity.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wear clothes most of the time, so they're not used to seeing you like this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wish women back home gawked as much as ponies do.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Try shaking yourself off. If it works for us, who knows. Maybe it'll help you.&quot;</span><br />&quot;I don't have fur so that's not an option.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash shrugs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Let the sun dry you? I'm running out of ideas.&quot;</span><br />&quot;That's the plan.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Excuse me.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can faintly make out a soft voice trying to get your attention, so you turn some more to look behind you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Butterfly--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Wait, no. It's Fluttershy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Because she's quiet n' shit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy is standing patiently, alternating glances between you and Skittles.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Applehorse couldn't make it, so Dash brought along Quiet Horse to judge.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;From what little you've seen of her, she's quite timid. You wouldn't be surprised if Dash escorted her here against her will.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Poor bastard.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Last you remember, Fluttershy was keeping track of the race from directly above the pond.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;How long has she been waiting there?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I didn't want to interrupt your conversation. I have the results of your race if you want to hear.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh right, the race!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Heck yea we wanna know! It was neck-and-neck to the finish!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't help but lean in a little closer, using an arm to support yourself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy brings a hoof to her mouth, clearing her throat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Okay. It was a really close race, but the winner--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You got this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;--is--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You totally got this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;--Rainbow Dash!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You don't got this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;YEEEAAAA!!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash bursts into the air, leaving her signature rainbow trail to follow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fuck.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy watches the whooping pegasus above for a few seconds before eyeing your morose form.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You did great, Anon. Even if you didn't win, you gave it your all.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Cute words, Quiet Horse.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Unfortunately the whole point of doing this /was/ to win.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You let out a resigned sigh.</span><br />&quot;She's gonna hold this over me until the end of time.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;All you wanted was one win. ONE.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Everybody gets one, right?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Apparently not.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You face forward once more, bringing your legs to rest in the clear water.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You look up to the sky, Dash's cheering reaching you loud and clear.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yea yea, get it out of your system.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After about a minute, Skittles descends to head height, hovering above the pond. She's still giddy, eyes shining with exuberance.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That proves it! Nopony or being is faster than me!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Hold the fuck up.</span><br />&quot;You just wanted confirmation on being quicker than everyone?!?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She nods, still grinning like an idiot.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh come the fuck--</span><br />&quot;Did our first little 'race' not tip you off???&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;She dismisses your question with a wave of her hoof.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I had to be sure. And now...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She once again brings herself inches from your face.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I know. Nice try Anon, you're surprisingly quick for something with only two legs.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Personal.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Space.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just a heads up would suffice.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Yo Anon, I'm gonna get all up in your grill if that's cool.'</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You want nothing more than to grab Dash and dunk her in the pond.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sadly the more sensible side of you knows better. You're not /that/ close with her, or anyone for that matter.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're still seen as a new, unknown being that came from fuck-all with an outlandish backstory.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Would she mind?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You know poor Fluttershy would probably assume the worst.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gotta keep up good appearances.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So instead you grimace, leaning away to put some distance between the pair of you.</span><br />&quot;Thanks but--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;A hand reaches out to her, using your index finger to press Dash's nose. With a little more force you get her to ease away from you.</span><br />&quot;--four legs good; two legs better.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Need to save face for the human race somehow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash wrinkles her nose and you remove your finger.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her expression still hasn't changed. In fact, she's now staring at her nose, eyes crossed in an attempt to focus on it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is pretty funny.</span><br />&quot;You okay? All I did was--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Suddenly Dash drops like a rock, crashing into the pond with a loud splash.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Oh shit?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're not sure if you're supposed to be worried, but you're definitely getting there.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As you examine the blue mare underwater, the sound of approaching footsteps alert you to Fluttershy's appearance beside you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Skittles finally decides to resurface, breaking the surface with a loud gasp.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Good, she's not dead.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You reach out to grab a foreleg, pulling her ashore.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Once she's back on land, she glares at you like you did something wrong.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Are you okay?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy is concerned for her friend's condition, but Dash pays her no mind.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;DON'T do that again.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The voice doesn't match the expression. Her tone is one of mild annoyance.</span><br />&quot;What, help you?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She rolls her eyes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No, don't poke my nose. It feels... weird.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash shakes her head as though she's trying to get rid of a bad memory.</span><br />&quot;Uncomfortable weird or what?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...It's hard to explain. At first it felt uncomfortable and made my nose itch, but then...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her voice trails off and she breaks her gaze from you, instead looking at the pond.</span><br />&quot;'Then' what?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She doesn't respond, continuing to avoid your stare.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can make out a darker tinge of blue on her cheeks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Was that always there?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nah.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Is she blushing?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She is, isn't she.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You didn't know ponies could do that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;How does that even work? How is her coat darkening?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That is so weird.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;More importantly, /why/ is she embarrassed or however she feels?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;All you did was touch her nose.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;......</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Aw shit.</span><br />&quot;Oh god, are ponies' noses some sort of erogenous zone?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;See, this is what happens when you don't think before you act. Now ponies will assume you're some sexual predator.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nice going, Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash whips her head back to face you, clearly shocked, if not even more embarrassed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What??? NO!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh.</span><br />&quot;Is touching noses considered an intimate act only performed between a couple?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Now ponies will think you're trying to get with Rainbow Dash.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nice going, Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If she was flustered before, Skittles is a sputtering mess now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The last time you saw her look this abashed was when you told her the meaning of the nickname you gave her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Because your hair is just as colorful and you're just as sweet.'</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Of course the last portion was a joke but she didn't know that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The expression of confused horror she gave you has been permanently burned into your memory, seeing as it's the closest you've ever come to literally dying of laughter.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh my...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You glance back briefly to Fluttershy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It shouldn't be possible for one face to be that red.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're impressed she hasn't fainted or something out of second-hand embarrassment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Turning to your cyan pegasus acquaintance, she's regained enough composure to speak.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;NO!!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You open your mouth to list another possibility but Dash beats you to the punch.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;There's nothing special about our noses, Anon! You can stop guessing.&quot;</span><br />&quot;So what's the deal then? Obviously something is wrong.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Nothing is wrong. It's... Arghhh!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She throws up her hooves in defeat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It felt GOOD. There, are you happy now?!?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She stares daggers at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's it?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;THAT'S it???</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What the hell is wrong with her?</span><br />&quot;Of course I'm happy. How fuckin' hard was it to say that in the first place? You're acting like it was a declaration of love.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Skittles shoots you another glare.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It was unexpected, that's all.&quot;</span><br />&quot;All I did was boop your nose.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;'Boop'?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her face contorts with confusion.</span><br />&quot;Press, or Tap. It's nothing more than a dumb nickname that caught on.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes lose focus as she thinks for a bit. When she returns to the present, they narrow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Do it again.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You blink.</span><br />&quot;Why.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Please?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;First earlier, then this? She's on a roll today.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You snort in amusement.</span><br />&quot;Fine, only because you have good manners.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash ignores your jab, instead adjusting herself to sit up straight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Moderate cerise eyes track your raised hand as you prepare to deliver the killing blow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't help but hesitate.</span><br />&quot;Are you sure there isn't anything deeper to this?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You receive a deadpan look in return.</span><br />&quot;Okay, okay. Sorry...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;It better not turn out she has a freaky fetish for getting her nose touched.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not the worst thing, but you don't want to fuel her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You slowly bring your index finger to her nose, her eyes crossing to keep it in sight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Why are you nervous?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;All you're doing is touching her nose, right?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;RIGHT???</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You once again make contact with her soft coat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After pressing down gently, you remove your hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Mission accomplished.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash remains fixated on her nose, her face scrunched up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This time you chuckle. Ponies' behavior can be so childlike at times.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luckily she's already grounded, so you don't have to worry about her falling again.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Unless she collapses.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Shit man, you have no idea what the fuck is going to happen.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After a short period of time Dash eases up, her face and body relaxing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes close, a smile steadily forming.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She looks like she's on cloud nine.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're having a hard time taking her comment on ponies' noses at face value.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe it's a secret button that releases endorphins.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wish you had one.</span><br />&quot;Having fun?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash says nothing. Instead she slowly opens her eyes, giving you a dreamy look.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That... was... /awesome/.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She half-whispers the last bit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is nothing short of absurd. The entire situation is baffling, to say the least.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not that you're complaining. In fact, you're having fun.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Who knew Skittles got so much enjoyment out of having her nose touched?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;How did she just discover this?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's so weird. After the initial discomfort, it's like... It feels...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She struggles to come up with a suitable description before giving up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's hard to explain, but it's sooooo good.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash gives you a suspicious look... except it's diluted by her wet mane plastered against her forehead.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Are you using magic? I don't remember you saying anything about being able to use magic.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You shake your head.</span><br />&quot;I don't have any sort of magic whatsoever. All I did was--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You point to her.</span><br />&quot;--that.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Alright, if you say so.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She still looks skeptical but she doesn't push the issue, leaving you to your thoughts.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash is acting like you performed some impossible task. Maybe she should--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Again.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Hmm?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She looks at you expectantly, as though it's obvious what she wants.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;One more time.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ehhh...</span><br />&quot;I dunno, that last one took a lot out of me. How about a thumbs up instead?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash isn't pleased by your gesture.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Stop messing around, Anon, I know there's nothing wrong with you. Just one more, that's all.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You exaggerate faking internal debate on whether or not to oblige her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Pleeeease?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh jeez, she's got the puppy-dog eyes and everything.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Stop it, heart. You know better than to fall for it.</span><br />&quot;Low blow, Skittles. Don't toy with my emotions.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;An eye twitches upon hearing her nickname, yet she makes no comment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yea, she's desperate.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She better be in goddamn Nirvana to hassle you so much over this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With a groan, you quickly lean over and...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rainbow Dash is caught off guard by your speed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Crossed eyes, scrunched-up nose, yada yada.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's still funny.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just like before, she drifts into a relaxed state.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;However, you're perplexed when she starts chuckling.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Quietly first, then evolving into her signature sharp laughter.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You want whatever she's having.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Before you can ask her what she finds so humorous, she suddenly rockets into the air.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;One second she's next to you; the next there's nothing but a rainbow trail signifying her existence.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Damn.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thanks Anon!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You observe her shrinking form as she corkscrews away, performing various other acrobatic feats that would leave fighter jet pilots jealous.</span><br />&quot;Don't mention it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;No one around to hear but it's good to remember your manners.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That was one interesting event.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Who knew Skittles had a thing for getting her nose booped?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Do all ponies operate like that?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're kind of tempted--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Wow Anon, you really made Rainbow Dash happy.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your heart nearly leaps out of your chest at the abrupt interruption of your pondering.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You whirl around to face...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Holy shit, you forgot she was here.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You know she's quiet but /Christ/, no one should be that mute.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Did she seriously sit there the entire time without saying a word?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This mare should look into covert operations. No one would notice her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You focus on reducing your heart palpitations, letting out a deep breath.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Is something wrong?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Bless her oblivious heart.</span><br />&quot;No, I... Just no.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Quick, change the subject!</span><br />&quot;Yea, she did look pretty ecstatic.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy smiles.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I think it's wonderful you and Dash get along so well.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If by 'get along so well' she means 'You not having to constantly watch your every move in order to avoid giving ponies the wrong idea about you', then yea you get along alright.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's not the only one you can relax around, thankfully.</span><br />&quot;I guess we do.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your thoughts have been drifting back to ponies' noses.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Weird subject, but it's important.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Important enough.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Is Skittles the only pony who acts like they discovered heaven itself after getting booped?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're intrigued now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You need test subjects. Ponies who won't mind giving up a few minutes in the name of science.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Except how do you bring this up without looking or sounding like you've gone off your rocker?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash wouldn't mind if you told others about her reaction, right?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's a good starting point.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Still, you need volunteers.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Lucky for you, one may be right in front of you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You focus back on Butte-- Fluttershy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In hindsight, maybe you shouldn't have zoned out while staring at her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes are nearly as wide as dinner plates, pupils zeroed in on you to detect any sudden movement.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Goodness, lady, you're not going to attack her.</span><br />&quot;I have a question.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Silence.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Can I, uhh, touch your nose?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;That sounded as stupid as you thought it would.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy eases up, no longer on edge.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Just like with Rainbow Dash?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yea. I'm curious to know if it's just her or possibly something bigger.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well... that sounds safe.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Worst case scenario, you misaim and end up sticking your finger up her nose.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Don't say that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy closes the short distance before taking a seat again.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's clearly a little nervous.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Then again, when is she ever not?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Don't worry Quiet Horse, you'll make this as painless as possible.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy blinks once, her nose twitching at the strange sensation.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Then she proceeds to go through the same ritual as Dash.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Man, that expression will never get old.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Soon enough, she breaks into a smile much bigger than her usual timid versions.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nice. You're two for two now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She lets out a giggle. An honest to goodness giggle.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You had no idea she was capable of showing such emotion.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Is she going to take to the skies as well?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No wonder Rainbow Dash was so giddy. That felt really nice, Anon.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You feel like you've stumbled onto something huge.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Which is a problem.</span><br />&quot;Has no one in this world EVER touched someone else's nose? Is it against the law or am I out of the loop?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy is still in a cheerful state.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;There's no law against touching somepony's nose, but I've never felt like /this/ afterwards.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She closes her eyes in contentment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is ridiculous.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Amusing, confusing, and ridiculous.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You need to know more on what the hell is up with these miniature multicolored horses.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You need facts.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Cold, hard, boring facts.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Preferably without having to pour through an endless series of books.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fortunately there's a pony you know who's already done that for you.</span><br /><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What's her name...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight... Sprinkles?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Something along that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You'll just stick with Twilight, or Book Horse.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She lives in a library and likes books. Simple enough.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're approaching the massive tree that houses the Ponyville library, home to the purple unicorn and her small dragon slave.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Or assistant.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not much of a difference.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You reach the door and give five quick knocks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In no time at all it opens, revealing...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;No one.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey Anon, how's it going?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Whoops.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You glance down to see Spike standing before you in all his short glory.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You literally look down on everyone, something that's still taking some getting used to.</span><br />&quot;'Sup. Is Twilight here? I need to talk to her.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;She's right over there. Come on in!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike moves away from the door and out of view.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You step inside, closing the door behind you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ah, libraries.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't remember the last time you visited one on Earth.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight is sitting at a table next to one of the few sections of wall not occupied by a bookshelf. A book lies open before her, but all her attention is on you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous, what a pleasant surprise! How has your day been so far? Are you enjoying your time in Ponyville?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse has dubbed you her responsibility, seeing as she's the princess' personal prot&quot;g&quot;e.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For someone who's supposed to keep tabs on you, the pair of you don't converse much.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sure you have a different place of temporary residence, but still.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you do talk you get the feeling she always wants to say more, except something holds her back.</span><br />&quot;Good and yea, it's been alright.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;If there's anything I can do to make your stay more than 'alright', just let me know!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For starters, you'd love for everyone not to fear you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There aren't many ponies you can even pass by without noticing the uneasiness in their eyes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Time, Anon. That takes time.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...You hope.</span><br />&quot;I'll keep that in mind.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You head over to the table all the while continuing to talk.</span><br />&quot;I... uh, have a question.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What is it?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You reach the small table, towering over the sitting mare.</span><br />&quot;It's about... it's... okay let's get some backstory here so this doesn't sound so stupid.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's horn glows, levitating a bookmark near her which she places neatly between the book's pages.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She shuts it and you can make out the title.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Melzar's Multitude of Mesmerizing Mythical Creatures: Volume Four</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Say nothing, Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Two pony ears direct their attention to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm all ears.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Alrighty, where to start...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The beginning sounds good. Best to not leave anything out.</span><br />&quot;So earlier today, Skittles was bothering me--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;'Skittles'?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Rainbow Dash. It's a nickname.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her right eye gives a near-imperceptible twitch, which you ignore.</span><br />&quot;Yea, so Dash was bothering me...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You go through the events leading up to when she got in your face.</span><br />&quot;...you should've seen it, it was great. Then after a few seconds she drops into the pond. Stops flying, stops moving, just lets gravity take over. I'm talking one hundred to zero like /that/.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You snap your fingers for effect.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight adopts a worried expression.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Was she okay?&quot;</span><br />&quot;I thought the same thing. Pulled her out and she said 'don't touch my nose, it felt weird' and I asked her to elaborate. That's when she got all embarrassed and stuff.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Embarrassed? Why would she be embarrassed over that?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Exactly! I made a few... guesses that were a couple miles off mark, all under the assumption that there's something special about your noses that I didn't get the memo on. That's when she finally spilled the beans.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse is glued to your every word now.</span><br />&quot;Turns out she liked it. And when I say liked it, I really mean she LOVED it, if the second time was any indication.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight takes a moment to process this new revelation about her friend.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Rainbow Dash... likes having her nose touched?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's bewildered, to say the least.</span><br />&quot;There's more to it. She couldn't explain why or how it felt so good.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You shake your head.</span><br />&quot;So after she pestered me for a third one which she received, she flew away. That just left me and Fluttershy. Short story short, I asked to try it on her. Guess what?<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Fluttershy didn't feel anything?&quot;</span><br />&quot;WRONG. She experienced the same stuff as Dash! Both of them apparently have some weird enjoyment of being booped.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;'Booped'?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ugh.</span><br />&quot;Basically a light tap, like this.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You demonstrate using the back of your hand as the receiver.</span><br />&quot;Yea, so all of that leads into my question.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You dramatically clear your throat.</span><br />&quot;What the FUCK is going on??? Have I been lied to regarding noses? I need answers... Please.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Always remember your manners.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight looks at you with a frown.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;There are children present, Anonymous. I know you have different words than ponies for expressing heavy emotions but a swear is a swear.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh crap, you forgot Spike was here.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A quick turn-around and you spot him in a poor attempt to pretend he isn't eavesdropping.</span><br />&quot;Sorry, it slipped out.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Understandable.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight levitates a stool over to you, which you place down before taking a seat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Once you've stopped fidgeting, she speaks up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I've never heard of anypony who experienced a reaction similar to what you've mentioned. This is very strange.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You don't like that look she's giving you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It screams &quot;The only reason I haven't dismissed this is because you're new here.&quot;</span><br />&quot;I swear I'm not insane, I am just as confused as you are. If you don't believe me go talk to Fluttershy, she can vouch for me.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Unless she focuses more on your accidental staring.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The reassurance of having someone to confirm your ludicrous findings with appears to ease Twilight's mind.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I believe you Anonymous, peculiar as it sounds.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thank goodness.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes trail upwards in thought.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy... For something so noncomplex, how could it remained unnoticed for so long?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight is in her own world now, speaking to herself more than you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;They're both pegasi, which may play a factor in this.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She looks at you once more.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;All you did was touch their noses?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yup.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Could you demonstrate on me? If my hypothesis is correct, unlikely as it is--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She mutters that last part.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;--we might be able to narrow it down to a specific group, making it easier to determine who or what is affected. Of course there are Celestia-knows how many other variables we need to account for, but this is a good place to start.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Touch Book Horse's nose? Simple enough.</span><br />&quot;Alright. Whenever you're ready.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight leans closer to the table, jutting out her head. Her pale-mulberry nose sticks out for testing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If this doesn't work you'll look like you've gone nutters; the last thing you need when barely anyone trusts you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Up goes your hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ready... Aim....</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's nose twitches.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's a good sign.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes cross.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's a funny sign. Also good.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's the face scrunch.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;All that's left is--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse's eyes widen, pupil's dilating. Her mouth forms into a small &quot;o&quot;.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is new.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After a few seconds her eyes return to normal only now she's smiling, showing plenty of teeth.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;This is incredible! I've never felt so... so...&quot;</span><br />&quot;Good?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Great! No, more than great! This is better than when I scored perfect marks on Princess Celestia's Transfiguration Exam! Everypony else got stuck on the orange, but I did it! Oh that was an amazing day!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Good for her?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is not much different than Skittles' final reaction but far more energetic than Fluttershy's.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe Quiet Horse's reserved nature kept her from acting like so.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight finally brings herself to focus on you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm sorry I ever doubted you Anonymous. You've discovered something huge! Of course my reaction completely blows away my hypothesis, but who cares!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're just relieved it works on her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight takes in a deep breath before letting out a satisfied sigh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ahhhh. We need to get to the bottom of this. I hope you like answering questions.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her horn is enveloped in her signature light-raspberry aura but nothing happens.</span><br />&quot;I'll answer whatever you want me to.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her ears perk up at that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Really?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yea, how else are we supposed to figure this out?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You flinch as a quill and piece of paper soar by your ear.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So that's what she was doing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight appears crestfallen.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;?</span><br />&quot;Did you have something else in mind?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Not exactly... It's nothing important, don't worry.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She lets out a half-hearted chuckle.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Okay...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Quill and paper at the ready, Twilight is silent in thought.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Eventually she speaks up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Just to confirm, you have no magic whatsoever residing in you, correct?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Right.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Based off your thoughts on pressing noses, hue-muns gain no pleasure from being booped. Is this true?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You manage to suppress a snort.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're also impressed she remembers your species, seeing as you've brought it up a grand total of one time.</span><br />&quot;Also right.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;And, considering your reaction to this development, you are not performing these... boopings with the conscious intention to benefit others.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Correct.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Wait.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Do--&quot;</span><br />&quot;Elaborate on that last sentence.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Would you like me to rephrase it?&quot;</span><br />&quot;I understand what you meant. I was referring to 'the conscious intention to benefit others'.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's gaze never leaves you even while the quill effortlessly glides from left to right, printing unknown words.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Neat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I could explain now, but I'm willing to bet you'll have your answer after a few more minutes.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You decide to let the subject drop.</span><br />&quot;If you say so.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight nods, resuming where she left off.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;This is... interesting, at the very least. An otherworldly being with no magic is able to bring pleasure to ponies just by touching their noses.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight blinks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Very interesting.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's one way of putting it.</span><br />&quot;So now what?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Now? Now I want to know /how/. How are you able to do it?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You shrug.</span><br />&quot;I don't know. I was hoping you had an answer.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous, there is an infinitesimal chance something so glaringly blatant has gone unnoticed in Equestria for the thousand-plus years it has existed. For goodness sake, all it takes is a press of the nose!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight brings a hoof up to her face, gently pressing down on her nose.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The pair of you wait for any reaction, yet none comes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;See?!?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Maybe you can't do it to yourself. Maybe you need someone else.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight gives you a look of exasperation.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I've lost count of the amount of times Pinkie booped me!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's a fast learner. She's already caught on to its usage.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;For some reason only you can pull it off!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This has gone well past absurd and jumped straight into what-in-the-fuck-is-going-on-even territory.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Bewildered doesn't even begin to describe how you feel.</span><br />&quot;Book Horse,--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes narrow, which you ignore.</span><br />&quot;--do you understand just how /insane/ that sounds?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;YES!!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She wails that out.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;......</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You get it now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight Sprinkles.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Princess Celestia's star pupil.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The librarian; book reader extraordinaire.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The mare who undoubtedly knows more than anyone you've met (limited as that list may be).</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight is completely and utterly lost.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This two-legged creature has her stumped, simply because it doesn't fit here. It doesn't belong here.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You definitely feel for her right now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It must be similar to how you felt upon your arrival to this magical world.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'This shouldn't happen. This shouldn't be real.'</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'But it is.'</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The two of you say nothing else, letting the ambient sounds of the world wash over you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can hear Spike occasionally turn a page from a book he's pretending to read.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Finally you break the silence.</span><br />&quot;...It just blows my mind, y'know? I'm not doing anything special at all. Just--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You gesture with a finger.</span><br />&quot;--one finger, nothing more to it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight stares flatly at your outstretched hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Suddenly it's like a switch was flicked.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her drooped ears shoot up and you can see a spark of hope in her eyes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Spike! I need your help!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In a matter of seconds the purple dragon is by her side.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Still hard to believe this squirt is a dragon. Guess the fantasy books couldn't get everything right.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What do you need, Twilight?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;A booping!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Quick, roll to avoid smiling!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The die shows...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;One.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fuck.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You guffaw, poorly covering it up with an equally loud coughing fit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight and Spike stare at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You okay dude?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your eyes water as you address Spike's concern.</span><br />&quot;Yea, there's something in my throat.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;A bad case of the giggles.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Do you need a glass of water?&quot;</span><br />&quot;It's all good, I think it's gone now.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Interruption over, he turns back to Twilight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;One booping coming right up!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You snort.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight positions herself parallel to the table, again holding her head out for Spike to access.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike stretches his arm as high as it can go, prompting Twilight to lower her head.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Now easier to access, he extends a claw, and...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;......</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight blinks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You and Spike are watching her with bated breath.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;No crossed eyes so far.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She huffs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Nothing.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Damn.</span><br />&quot;If you did this for the reason I think you did, it was a good idea. Shame it didn't work.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight lets out a groan of frustration.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I was hoping the similarity of your hands and claws respectively would lead to a breakthrough.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Knew it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She eyes Spike.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Speaking of, those things are sharp mister.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well I /did/ trim them today.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He admires his handiwork... or clawdiwork.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Whatever.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight is staring at nothing in particular.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She sighs in resignation.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're just as curious as her to know the reason only you, given your current information, can boop ponies with great results.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The thing is, she's taking the lack of progress much harder than you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You don't want her stressing out too much over it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Good thing you have a solution, temporary as it may be.</span><br />&quot;Twilight.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;The disheartened lavender unicorn rotates her head to face you...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Only to meet a finger.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Does it work on sad ponies?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It fucking better.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fortunately your worries are assuaged.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight breaks into a smile. Not long afterwards, she laughs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Seeing her distress fade away like a bad dream makes you grin.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Who cares how this works? You can turn frowns upside down with a simple touch, that's all that matters.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Naah, you still want answers.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight finishes up her giggle session, beaming at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thank you Anonymous, I needed that.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Anytime.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She lets out another sigh, only this one is of contentment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;All this time Spike has been standing next to her, observing with great interest.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He directs his attention to you, clearly excited.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I want a turn, Anon!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight looks down at him.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Please?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're impressed he figured that out from her still-cheerful expression.</span><br />&quot;Sure. Prepare your nose.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He scurries over to you, jutting out his head in preparation.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With practiced precision, you take aim and...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Wow, his scales are much tougher than they appear.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's a sharp contrast to the soft pony noses you've been booping.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike closes his eyes as you touch him, keeping them shut even after your job is finished.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wait patiently for the effects to sink in.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Any second now...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Any second...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike opens his eyes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Uh, I'm not feeling anything.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's eyes widen in shock.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Really?!?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yea...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Huh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That blows.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight, on the other hand, is thrilled.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;This is incredible! That means there are limits! Restrictions! If we figure out who isn't receptive, we can use common factors to work towards finding the 'how' for your ability!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Ability'</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She makes it sound so much cooler than it is.</span><br />&quot;Sounds good.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yea, it's just wonderful...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh fuck, Spike.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The little dragon makes no effort to hide his sullen mood.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;By a stroke of bad luck, he can't experience the same joy his...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What the hell /does/ he see her as?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You'll have to ask him in private.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Point is, he's irked.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You put on your best apologetic expression.</span><br />&quot;Sorry man, I can't do anything about it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike waves a claw dismissively.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I know. It's still lame...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You watch him amble back to his reading spot.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Poor dude.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You turn back to Twilight</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's fidgeting in her seat, fit to burst at any moment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This might be her biggest project yet, and she's dying to get started.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yet her violet eyes are still set on you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You know, I've been doing my best to follow Princess Celestia's advice. It hasn't been easy but I've managed.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What advice?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Then today came along and blew away any chance of sticking to it.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight looks nervous.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous, your ability is a reminder of just how little anypony knows about you. So if you want to, and ONLY if you want to... couldyoupossiblytellmeafewthingsaboutyourself?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight grins uneasily.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;No need to get so worked up, Book Horse.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's right, you've been purposefully silent regarding your history.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Main reason being almost no one asks. Presumably too busy trying to avoid being noticed by you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But Twilight's words make it sound like she was told not to pry you open for information despite wanting to.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Now why would she be advised to do that?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's level-headed and rarely jumps to conclusions. She was the first to recognize you as more than a mysterious beast.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Of course you can tell her about yourself.</span><br />&quot;Twilight, if there's ever anything you want or need to know about me or humans in general-- within reason of course-- just ask.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Giving her a rundown of Hitler probably wouldn't end well.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her fidgeting stops as she stares at you with apprehension.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Are you sure?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Absolutely positive.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You give a thumbs up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight seems to be having a hard time taking it in. She closes her eyes, taking in a deep breath before slowly exhaling.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Thank you Anonymous. I will do my best to moderate the number of inquiries so you aren't overwhelmed.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Moderate'?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just how many questions does she have?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She opens her eyes, smiling warmly.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;There's so much to do; I can't think of where to start!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can help with that.</span><br />&quot;Me first, or the booping?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight brings a hoof to her chin, pondering.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her horn lights up, and this time you can hear the sound of paper rushing towards you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Let's begin with you. Who you are, /what/ you are... mostly the former.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She grins sheepishly.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Guess you'll begin with the basics.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You straighten up a little before you start talking.</span><br />&quot;My name is Anonymous...&quot;<br />-----<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You grab the floating bag, removing the light-blue aura surrounding it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A quick peek inside shows a well-made scarf resting at the bottom.</span><br />&quot;So I'm just dropping this off?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity doesn't look up from her sewing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You should do more than simply leave it at the doorstep. It reflects poorly on me if clients receive sub-par assistance.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You grunt.</span><br />&quot;Yea well, when your clients stop hiding under the window and actually answer the fucking--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity's head shoots up.</span><br />&quot;--...the STUPID DOOR, I have the strangest feeling customer support will improve tenfold.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dumb &quot;no swearing in front of a lady&quot; rule.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She finally swivels around to face you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm certain in due time the residents of Ponyville will warm up to you. They just need time to adjust. I know I did.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yessir, the ponies need a longer adjustment period than the dude dumped straight into a fairy tale.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not that you're completely unfazed; rather you don't shun what you don't know.</span><br />&quot;How much time? You'd think by now everything would be kosher, yet I can count on one hand the number of ponies who talk to me. Stall owners don't count.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's a delicate process, Anonymous dear.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity pauses in thought.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You aren't the first pony to experience these troubles. Everypony was frightened of Zecora until we learned more about her.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Who?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;She's a zebra. Her home is in the Everfree Forest. Even Twilight ended up getting roped into our overblown fears of her.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Zebras are a thing here? Who would've guessed.</span><br />&quot;Eh, ponies learned about me too. Look at how well that worked out.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're referring to the town meeting held once your stay in Ponyville was confirmed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight wanted to pacify any concerns of the public by giving a short introduction of yourself and how you weren't going to eat any of them.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Okay maybe that last part didn't happen, but you know at that time it was a serious thought.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If anything good came out of the event, you still haven't noticed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity is at a loss of what to respond with, if that look means anything.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Well I... Of course...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You raise a hand to silence her.</span><br />&quot;It's alright, it's not your problem. I'm going to deliver this scarf now.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity tries to say a few more words before giving up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Very well. Thank you, Anonymous.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Of course.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can see the conversation had a negative effect on her mood. She's stopped humming to herself as she turns back to her work.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Damn, your intention wasn't to put a damper on the atmosphere. This is why you keep this shit under wraps.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You turn around, making your way to the front door.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just as you reach out to open it, several knocks are heard from the other side.</span><br />&quot;I got it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Said to no one in particular.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Opening the door reveals...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike. A book is secured firmly at his side.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey Anon.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yo. How's it going? Twilight overworking herself?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;From what you know, Book Horse has a tendency to get a little too absorbed in projects of great interest. Last time you were at the library she had a list stretching from wall to wall and then some.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have a feeling she might've gone through a sleepless night or two.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yea, when she's not daydreaming about getting booped again.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...You might need to wean her off of these fingers.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Is Rarity here? I have the book she requested.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yup.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You step to the side, allowing Spike to enter.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Good afternoon, Rarity.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What the hell is up with his voice? Is he trying to make it sound deeper?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Spikey darling, what brings you here?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Spikey'?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You opt not to stick around, swiftly exiting the boutique.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just need to drop this bag off and head back. Easy enough.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You start making your way to the address Rarity provided.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Unsurprisingly, ponies give you a wide berth. The ones too slow to make it look natural do their best to avoid looking at you until you pass.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...On the plus side, you never have to worry about crowds.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You do your best to ignore the stares, instead focusing on the task at hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not that there's much to do.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Since you're a guest in Rarity's place, you felt it natural to offer a hand in her chores, whether it be work in the boutique or picking up household items.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She tried to decline your help at first, but you also brought up everything she made for you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Custom-tailored shirts, pants, boxers (that was a fun discussion), the works.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Turns out she's kinda good at making clothes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you came along, dressed to the toes, it was like a dream come true for her. &quot;The chance to create for someone who regularly wears clothes and switches out for something new each /day/?!?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You swear she orgasmed when you told her that tidbit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Of course all of this was after the initial commotion.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You digress.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thus, Rarity had absolutely no problem with giving you clothing and shelter.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The same couldn't be said for you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A man can't accept all that free shit without paying it back somehow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So with a little begging, you convinced her to give you odd jobs around the boutique.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fix this, replace that, hold this, deliver that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Speaking of deliveries, you're here.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thank you random flashback.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You reach the two-story house, knocking on the door before turning your attention to the nearby window.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This mare is going to push aside the curtains ever so gently, spot your unamused form standing here and instantly move away from the window. Then she'll start praying to whatever deity in hopes that you leave.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's routine at this point.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sure enough, a curious face peeks from behind the window.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Said face fills with horror when it sees you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Said face removes itself in a flash.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Might as well just leave the bag here and head back. Not like anyone is going to steal it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You bend down to place the bag directly in front of the door.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's at this moment you hear the door handle shift, and the door creeks open.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;From behind it a head cautiously pokes out, revealing a light-rose pegasus.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She says nothing, staring at your lowered head.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You don't want to scare her off so you remain frozen in place.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A minute goes by.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Is she okay?</span><br />&quot;Are you Ms. Meadow Flower?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;That seems to wake her up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She faintly nods, her light-gold mane bobbing with her.</span><br />&quot;The scarf you sent in to Rarity has been repaired. It's in here.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You hold out the bag.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She stares at it for a few seconds before slowly reaching to take it with a foreleg.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Easy now, Anon... Don't make any sudden movements.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're careful to avoid touching her as she grabs the straps. When the bag is securely with her you release it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She lets go of a strap, looking inside at the scarf.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ms. Flower must be satisfied because she looks back to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Thank you.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;......</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Did she just...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Did she actually...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Say something back, you idiot!</span><br />&quot;Yea.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Smooth.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Meadow Flower must have no issue with your response because she nods once before fading back behind the door, closing it with a thud.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You straighten up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Holy shit, someone actually answered the door.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Even better, they thanked you!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You start your return trip to the boutique.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe things are beginning to turn around for you.</span><br /><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You find no signs of Spike as you pass by Rarity.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I presume everything went swimmingly?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Even better. Ms. Flower actually /thanked/ me. Crazy, I know.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You sit down on a nearby couch that's too low to the ground for your taste.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just like every seat in Ponyville.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity is frowning.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Has /nopony/ ever shown appreciation for you?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Until today. What, did you think I was lying about their reactions?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Goodness no! I... may have thought you were exaggerating just a teensy bit, but I never expected such rudeness from ponies!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You shrug.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Back on Earth you'd be furious at being treated like this, but having small talking horses do it only makes you feel empty inside.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After all, /you/ are the odd one out.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, just know that there's one more mare who appreciates your work.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity brings a hoof to her chest, smiling at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't help but return it.</span><br />&quot;You charmer, you.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She returns to her project, leaving you to contemplate the mysteries of the universe.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For starters, are you even /in/ the same universe as Earth?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;An unknown period of time goes by as you let your mind wander.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With all forms of electronic entertainment gone, you've gotten quite good at day-dreaming.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For instance, you need to check out that Everfree Forest Rarity and Rainbow Dash mentioned. There's countless miles of terrain to explore here yet you haven't left the boundaries of Ponyville.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Movement ahead snaps you out of your thoughts.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity has stopped sewing and has adjusted herself to face you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous...&quot;</span><br />&quot;Hmmm?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's looking at you intently. Does she want something?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;When you left, Spike and I had a little chat. Nothing more than a polite how-do-you-do and inquiry into his and Twilight's recent activities.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Okay...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Aw fuck, does she want to vent her troubles onto you? Women...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;He mentioned something... intriguing, to say the least. Something you and Twilight only recently discovered?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Something you and Book Horse only recently--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh.</span><br />&quot;What, the booping?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity fakes a small cough.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Err yes, the 'booping'. Such a concept sounds... well, absurd--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's not wrong.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;--but if my friends say it works, who am I to argue?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Looks like someone isn't a believer.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You raise a finger ominously.</span><br />&quot;Would you care for a sample?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Uhhh....&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity stares at your hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can see a mixture of curiosity, desire, and hesitance dancing across her face.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You won't push it. Either she accepts or--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...oh what the hay. One try won't hurt.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sweet.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Before you can get up, she's already out her seat and making her way to the couch.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She climbs up on the soft seating, parking herself right next to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's nothing more than a simple touch of the nose?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's dubious, understandably.</span><br />&quot;Yup. Don't move.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity stays perfectly still, only her moderate-azure eyes keeping track of your incoming finger.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Impact in three...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Two...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;One...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;/Never/ gets old.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Similar to Twilight, Rarity's eyes widen in awe.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous darling, this is magnificent! I... I feel as though I could create one hundred new dress designs, each more fabulous than the last!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Little more contained than Book Horse but you're not surprised.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The reaction itself is always positive; how they display that positivity changes with each pony.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Better tell that to Twilight, assuming she hasn't already figured it out.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity laughs, her indigo mane swaying with her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It sounds so... /posh/, like she's a pony of the highest class.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Then again, she does carry herself as such.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You have a remarkable talent! Think of all the ponies you could help, all with a single touch!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not like you haven't thought about that.</span><br />&quot;That would require ponies to trust me.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Who /wouldn't/ trust you after experiencing such a delightful feeling?&quot;</span><br />&quot;I've actually given this some thought, Rarity. I don't want 'boops noses' to be my only redeeming quality.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Everypony has to start somewhere, Anonymous, and I do believe you've been given quite the head start.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br />&quot;I'll keep that in mind.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity appears to have come down from her high. She sighs, glancing down at your hands folded neatly on your lap.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I was not expecting your claw to be so... delicately soft. A good thing, of course.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Time for a shitty crash course in human anatomy.</span><br />&quot;These aren't claws.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You raise your hand.</span><br />&quot;All of this leading down to my wrist--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You use your other hand to gesture.</span><br />&quot;Is called a hand. These four 'claws'--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wiggle your fingers.</span><br />&quot;--are called fingers. Singular is finger. This short digit off to the side--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You give a thumbs up.</span><br />&quot;--is called a thumb.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're surprised to see Rarity this engrossed in your lesson.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hand, finger, thumb. Got it.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yea, humans don't have claws. Instead we've been gifted the Ninety-nine Cent Store rip-off more commonly known as nails.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You rotate your hand so the back faces her, directing her attention to the top of your fingers.</span><br />&quot;So while we have something semi-sharp and hard to tear whatever with--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You flip your hand over.</span><br />&quot;--the front side is soft.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You reach out to lightly press against Rarity's shoulder.</span><br />&quot;See?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You hope she doesn't mind the extended contact. You want her to retain this information, not go back to cloud nine.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes are trained on your hand as it reaches her, yet she doesn't flinch when you touch her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Unfortunately, not even a second goes by before she gasps sharply.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You waste no time extracting your hand.</span><br />&quot;I... I should've asked first. Sorry.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just because she's one of the few ponies who gives you the time of day doesn't mean ALL boundaries go out the window, retard.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You watch Rarity for any reaction.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's unmoving, staring at the spot where you touched her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You silently face forward, hoping she snaps out of it soon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She doesn't sound infuriated, at the very least.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You begrudgingly look back at her.</span><br />&quot;Yes?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's no longer glued to her shoulder. Instead she's eyeing you with...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Interest?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Could you... by any chance... do that again?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What.</span><br />&quot;What.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Your hand. It was... soothing.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Soothing'?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Whatever, just oblige the lady.</span><br />&quot;Sure.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You reach back to Rarity's shoulder, again placing you hand flat against her coat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;/Damn/ she is soft.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have to resist a near-overpowering urge to stroke her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is the first time you've had extended contact with anyone outside of a handshake with Twilight, which hardly counts.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your hand has quickly gone numb from fighting to keep it still, so you flex your fingers once to breathe some life back into them.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That sparks a reaction from Rarity.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She tenses up, emitting another gasp.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Acting on instinct, you remove your hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;NO!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You flinch at the abrupt outburst.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Evidently she wasn't expecting it either, because she hastily attempts to correct herself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I mean, don't! Please, that was such a... exquisite sensation!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just by touching her?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...You must have special hands.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity shifts herself so her side isn't as close to the back of the couch.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Third time's the charm, yes?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Once again you find your hand pressed against her indescribably soft coat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She definitely likes this, but it's on a much smaller scale compared--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Try moving your... hand.&quot;</span><br />&quot;What, like rubbing your shoulder?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes yes, whatever you want to call it.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Alright.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You begin a small circling motion, enjoying how her coat tickles your palm.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity already liked it before, but your hand's movement is having quite the effect on her now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes are closed and she's actually leaning a little into your hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Such gentleness. Have you ever worked as a masseur?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Nah.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;This would hardly count as a massage. It's more like...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Don't say it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash is an exception, Anon. Rarity /will/ eat you alive.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Would you mind servicing my back? It can become sore after a long day.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're no master masseur, but if she enjoys it...</span><br />&quot;Yea, no problem.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She wordlessly lowers herself to stretch across the remainder of the seat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You start on her back, only this time you perform back-and-forth motions.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...She looks like she could melt into the couch if she tried.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity's head rests on her crossed forelegs. The best way to describe her facial expression would be one of pure bliss.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You know you made a joke comparison between Rainbow Dash and dogs a few days ago, but seriously.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not that you're complaining. Are all ponies this soft?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You spend the next several minutes giving Rarity a proper pet-- massage.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;At this point you think she might have actually fallen asleep. She's completely unmoving.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You cease your movements; it only takes a few seconds to get an answer.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity's eyelids flutter open, azure eyes trying to focus.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Mmmm... Thank you, darling.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She makes no effort to sit up, instead adjusting her head to face you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fuck man, you want what these ponies are having.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I suppose it WOULD be selfish of me to expect such ministrations to last forever. Not even a spa visit has left me feeling so... relaxed.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She sighs in contentment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;If only I knew of your talents sooner!&quot;</span><br />&quot;Shit man, /I'm/ just now learning about them!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;A faint ear-spasm is her only reaction to your foul language.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yup, she's all buttered up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Time to add another mark under what-in-the-fuck-is-going-on-even.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not only are you able to light up ponies day with a nose boop, apparently you can induce a near-coma state just by petting them.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're /seriously/ questioning if you didn't gain some superpowers upon arrival.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe you can shoot laser beams if you make a finger pistol?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nope.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Let's hope Rarity didn't see that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your hands are nothing special to you, but you swear they were designed to bring pleasure to these small horses.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Absolutely ridiculous.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous dear, could you do something for me?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You turn your attention back to her.</span><br />&quot;What's up?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She sticks her nose up... literally.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I would take great delight in receiving another... 'boop' as you call it.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;From booping to petting and back to booping.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can easily sniff out a potential addict when you see one.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Holy shit, are your hands a drug to ponies?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That would explain EVERYTHING.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That would also be INCREDIBLY fucking stupid.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Still can't leave it out.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Anonymous?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh right.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ah well, no harm in another one.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's the addict, not Rarity.</span><br />&quot;Of course.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Up goes a finger.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Let's add a little flair to this one.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You twirl your finger dramatically, and...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br />-----<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'You're welcome.'</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Those two words repeat in your head like a scratched record as you search for a suitable table to enjoy your smoothie.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;From a short nod of the head to a verbal response. That cashier really stepped up her game since your last visit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If this keeps up, someone might even say 'hello' to you!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You park your rear at a table for two, making sure to turn the seat away from the other ponies there.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Although you can't see it, you can feel their stares boring into your back.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Taking a sip of your drink, you idly watch the slow hustle and bustle of Ponyville.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's like everyone knows each other. Ponies frequently wave to others and greet by name.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Meanwhile you can list like seven at the most.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You don't need to be greeted by name. You're perfectly fine with 'hello'.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;See, that cashier knew what's up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You continue your smoothie assault... until something feels off.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yea, it's definitely not your imagination.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Most of the ponies near you have stopped talking.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What little conversation you hear is whispered.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You swear you also notice the chatter of passing ponies die out as they approach your general area.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Don't be rude, Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe something else is making them go quiet.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Maybe you're doing a piss-poor job of convincing yourself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ugh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The tiny buzz you were riding from the cashier's politeness has vanished, replaced by the oh-so-familiar feeling of emptiness.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Being shunned by multicolored talking horses shouldn't make you feel this way.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Honestly, what were you thinking?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As if you could realistically pop a squat in the center of Ponyville without attracting attention.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The bad kind of attention.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Time to blow this popsicle stand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But where will you go?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You could always visit the Everfree Forest. That's still on your to-do list.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...No.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What you want right now is a conversation.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A normal, back-and-forth conversation between two individuals.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight does not fit that bill, seeing as she's still hung up on the booping and your history.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're starting to understand why the princess strongly suggested for Book Horse to put a cork in the questions.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Once she gets going...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe Skittles is available. Sure she has a tendency to focus on herself but you can at least exchange banter.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yea, you'll find her. Wherever she is.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Mister Anonymous?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Huh?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You turn to the voice in question.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Standing before you is an earth pony mare. Her light opal-ish coat clashes surprisingly well with her brilliant cerise mane.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's clear she's nervous but she hides it well... or at least better than most other ponies.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her stance is casual; the biggest tell is the distance she keeps between you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just enough to book it at a moment's notice, but not too far as to appear rude.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Impressive.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can see her pupils contract a teensy bit when you make eye contact, yet she doesn't budge.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This one is brave.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You'll take nervous-yet-approaching ponies over non-approaching ones.</span><br />&quot;That's me. Can I help you?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;My name is Ruby Splash. I'm here because of Rarity.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Now you're curious. What did Rarity tell this mare to do?</span><br />&quot;Okay...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We were talking yesterday and she mentioned how you have a special talent called... 'boops'? Booping?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh for fuck's sake.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You'd love to know how they ended up on that topic in the first place.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In hindsight you should've seen this coming.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With all the gossip she feeds to you (whether you like it or not), it only makes sense Rarity would blab.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;How many ponies did she tell?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Not that it matters.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're surprised whenever anyone musters up the courage to talk to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The chance of a pony letting you /touch/ them?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So yea, there's nothing to get worked up over.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...I should go.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ruby is taking a few steps backwards, eyes never leaving you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You lean forward a bit.</span><br />&quot;Wait.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She stops on a dime, frozen in her retreating pose.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't help but chuckle at the comical sight.</span><br />&quot;Yes, apparently I have a talent for touching noses, among other things.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Heh.</span><br />&quot;How come?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ruby stands straight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well... I was, um, wondering if... uhh... you...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You swear there's beads of sweat rolling down her head.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She was doing so well earlier. What gives?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Whoops.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You break your gaze from her, instead taking extreme interest in a patch of dirt near her hooves.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That does the trick.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...you could... if you don't mind... uhm... &quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have a good premonition of where this is going but you want her to say it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...couldyoutryboopingme?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There we go.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Wow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Either the denizens of Ponyville are warming up to you faster than you thought, or Ruby here has a Cutie Mark specializing in taking risks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not that there's any risk with you. Of course they don't think that, but whatever.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well if the residents are starting to like you more, they have a funny way of showing it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...You're going off track now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's a pressing issue at hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Do you?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Do you boop Ruby Splash?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is exactly what you didn't want to happen when your talents got revealed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ponies only interested in the booping, not you as a person.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe you're selfish, but you don't want to be liked solely for one thing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;On the other hand...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If you don't boop her, Ruby leaves a disappointed mare. Technically not your problem.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Except what if she relays her experience to other ponies?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Shit, it's not even a matter of 'what if', it's a matter of 'when'.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She tells them you're a big meanie head, which will only push you further away from any sort of acceptance.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;God dammit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Damned if you do, damned if you don't.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In these situations, the only choice is the lesser of two evils.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You sigh.</span><br />&quot;Sure.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ruby gasps, taking in a deep lungful of air before panting.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The fuck?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Was she holding her breath this entire time?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Once her breathing has stabilized she looks back to you, the weight of your answer sinking in.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Great!... Uhm, so is there anything I need to... do?&quot;</span><br />&quot;I need you to step closer so I can reach you.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Okay...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ruby begins to cover the short distance between the pair of you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her prior standing point must've been a comfort zone, because you can see her legs shaking as she approaches.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Or maybe she's antsy for the main event, who knows?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Keep dreaming, Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ruby comes to a stop right in front of you. She audibly gulps, which you ignore.</span><br />&quot;Don't move.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have a feeling she couldn't move even if she wanted to.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Better not half-ass this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Is there even a way to half-ass it? Maybe brush her nose instead of pressing it?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You raise a hand slowly so she can clearly see what you're about to do.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes track your approaching finger, pupils contracting with each inch covered.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fear not, Ruby, you'll be gentle.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She stopped breathing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Again.</span><br />&quot;Breathe.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Good.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're pleased to see her respond the same as everyone else you booped.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;These hands don't discriminate.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Wow! It's... how... WOW!!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You grin.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Hard to remain moody with a reaction like that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;This is wonderful! I... I need to thank Rarity for telling me about this!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ruby finally directs her attention to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thank you Mister Anonymous! You're amazing!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your heart lurches.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't find the words to accurately describe just how much that compliment means to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That is undoubtedly the boop speaking for her but you appreciate the gesture all the same.</span><br />&quot;Happy to help.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;With a jump in her step, Ruby Splash twirls around and prances away. You can hear a small tune coming from her as well.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That felt nice. More than nice.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe she'll tell her friends about the nice human and others will start liking you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Waitshitno.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's exactly what you DON'T want.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ponies acknowledging your hands instead of you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ugh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Perhaps you're overthinking this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're not dealing with dumb animals. These ponies are no different than humans in regards to thoughts and feelings.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Surely they can look beyond your talent and see the real you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can give this proper thought another time. At the moment you just want to finish your smoothie.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You bring the straw to your lips...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...and stop.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ponies are looking at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ponies are /staring/ at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ponies have stopped going about their day and are instead choosing to gawk at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You turn in your seat to check behind you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Yup, no difference there.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This goes beyond the &quot;polite&quot; stares you receive when they think you don't know.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is the highest degree of blatancy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;How long have they been doing this?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh fuck.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;All of them saw your little stunt with Ruby Splash, didn't they.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Can't a man boop a mare in public without being judged?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You didn't assault her, so hopefully they don't jump to the worst conclusions.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In fact her cheerful gait should help prove otherwise.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Alright, this is getting tiring.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're relieved to see no angry faces anywhere but it's not exactly admiration they're giving you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Best to slink away until they forget about it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You reluctantly rise from your chair, taking a moment to stretch.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Time to find Rainbow Dash.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Probably still sleeping, the lazy fuck.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You keep your gaze straight ahead as you forge a path away from the area.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In your peripheral vision you can see ponies finally starting to continue about their day.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Took long enough.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Mister Anonymous?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Are you hearing things?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Did someone call you for the second time today?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A new record!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Also wow, you didn't expect ponies to remember your name.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You turn around to find an earth pony stallion looking up at you. Trepidation practically oozes from him, his brown mane shaking a hefty amount.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He's trying though. You have to give him top marks for that.</span><br />&quot;Is there anything I can help you with?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Seeing as how he had to get your attention he's already standing somewhat close to you, making your height difference even more noticeable.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe that's why he's a jittery wreck.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes... I-- I was watching y-- I noticed you, uh, were talking to-- to Ruby! Ruby Splash, yes?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You nod.</span><br />&quot;Yes.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;This might take a while.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Right! And I couldn't... help but-- but take interest in your, uhm, meeting... NOT THAT I WAS STARING.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He lets out a shaky laugh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Just passing by, that's all!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;So it surprised me to-- to see Ruby in such an overjoyed state... Because you touched her, not because she was talking to you!... Not that's there's anything wrong with touching... her.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Awful wording aside, you desperately wish he would get to the point already.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes, so uhm... I'm really curious to know more about this-- this 'booping' as she called it?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fucking FINALLY.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Wait a second, was he eavesdropping as well?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nosy bastard.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Alright, how do you explain this without sounding mental?</span><br />&quot;It's very simple. I touch someone's nose and it feels good.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's really no other way to put it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...That's it?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's a hint of disbelief poking through.</span><br />&quot;Yup. No tricks or anything of the sort.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;The stallion shifts around on his hooves and you catch a peek of his Cutie Mark. Three horseshoes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have no clue what that symbolizes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After a few seconds of silence he speaks up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Could I-- if you don't mind of course-- possibly maybe experience it for myself? The booping, that is.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;First Ruby, now this guy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Curious little buggers aren't they.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Today is a good day...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For all the wrong reasons.</span><br />&quot;Yea...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Great! So, uhm, I'll just stand here...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You guide your free hand towards the goal: his nose.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As it approaches him, he leans back further and further until it's a miracle he hasn't fallen over.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You raise an eyebrow.</span><br />&quot;Please stay still.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Okay.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;His voice is a whisper.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You crack a smile.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't help it, their excitement is infectious.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I feel refreshed! Better than a good night's sleep, or a midday nap!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He focuses on you again.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;HOW do you do it?!? It can't possibly be nothing more than touching your nose!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He brings a hoof up to press his nose, probably hoping for similar results.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;No point in lying, it won't look good on you.</span><br />&quot;Like I said, there are no tricks whatsoever. From the looks of it, only I can do it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That sounds absurd!&quot;</span><br />&quot;I /know/. Go try it on someone else, you'll see.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;He shakes his head, chuckling softly.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Looks like the major effect wore off.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, trick or not, it's an incredible feeling. Thanks, Mister Anonymous.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Any trace of nerves he had before is gone; he's talking to you like any normal person would.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Once again undoubtedly the effects of the booping.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Still feels great.</span><br />&quot;Anytime.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;He smiles. A genuine smile.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I may hold you to that.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Shit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The stallion raises a hoof in farewell before walking past you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You never had someone wave goodbye.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You need to give this booping business some serious thought.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not now. Later.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you're alone and not being ogled by everyone.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;AGAIN.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Can't a man boop a stallion in public without being judged?</span><br />-----<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This punch is pretty good.</span><br />&quot;You want some, Twilight?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse pauses from her feathery assault on the bookshelf to look at you. When she sees your offering, she frantically shakes her head.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No time!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You tried.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You ladle some more into your cup before heading back to your seat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;At your place of comfort, you take in the sight before you for the millionth time.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight is doing some last minute tidying of the library before Princess Celestia arrives to size you up and make sure you aren't secretly planning the downfall of Equestria.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Of course she didn't explicitly say that but come on, why else would a monarch visit you?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've seen a picture of her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rainbow mane, taller than other ponies, wings AND a horn?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She just screams 'leader'.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight assuaged any reservations you had of meeting Celestia. Supposedly she's really nice.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You hope so.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thus here you sit, watching Book Horse run around like a chicken with its head cut off.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not like you haven't tried to calm her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Aren't /you/ supposed to be the anxious one right now?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Twilight, don't you think we've cleaned enough? Princess Celestia will be here any minute!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Poor Spike has been subject to Twilight's possible-OCD. He wears an apron slightly too long for him as he sweeps.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He's been standing in that spot for the past thirty minutes and Twilight still hasn't noticed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That's exactly WHY we haven't cleaned enough!... You missed a spot!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight whirls around, yanking the broom out of his grasp in a purple aura. She proceeds to...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Tidy up the same place he was sweeping.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sheesh, the princess really brings out the maniac in Book Horse.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We've been at this for two hours! Two! Didn't we clean yesterday to avoid this?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yea, you made me come here two hours early.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't help but back Spike up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight continues to sweep the life out of the floor.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Sorry guys, but there's nothing wrong with a small change of plans to make sure everything goes right.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Good god, she's a monster.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She needs to be stopped for the sake of humanity.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Or ponykind?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Regardless, this is where you come in.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A boop should calm her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Actually no. You have a better solution.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sure you've only gotten results from one mare, but you'll be incredibly surprised if it doesn't work.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;/Especially/ on someone like Twilight who has no qualms with spending the rest of her life getting her nose pressed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You stand up, ambling slowly towards the lavender unicorn still engrossed in sweeping.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her tongue sticks out the side of her mouth as she zeros in on non-existent dust.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike watches with interest as you crouch down to meet Twilight at head height.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's only now she notices the human beside her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Do you need annnn...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's voice dies in her throat when your hand makes contact with her back.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Now just add a little movement, and...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Less than a minute later, Twilight is resting comfortably on the floor as you service her withers.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her coat isn't as velvety as Rarity's but she's just as warm.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She tried to put up a fight in the form of asking how the hell you can do this. Sadly she never got past 'how'.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Is this another one of your abilities?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Apparently.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike sighs in resignation.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Why do I already know it won't work on me?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's impossible to mistake the look he's giving Twilight for anything other than envy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're willing to test it out on him but you have a sinking feeling he's right.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Poor, poor Spike.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;His only mistake was not being a pony.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse takes no notice of her assistant's woes, instead continuing to stare dreamily into space. An ear flicks every so often.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Reminds you of a cat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ponies are one-half dog, one-half cat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It all makes sense now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Uhh, Twilight? Shouldn't you, oh I dunno, prepare yourself to greet Princess Celestia?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's okay Spike... Everything is okay.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's achieved complete tranquility.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Holy shit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It hasn't dawned on you until now just how powerful your hands are.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If they can pacify someone like panic-mode Twilight...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've been gifted a great responsibility.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;To use your powers for good or evil, the choice is yours.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Entire nations could crumble at the touch of a mane.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Perhaps you could even wrest the throne from Princess Celestia herself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She would beg for mercy, calling you a monster as you gently stroked her side, whispering that it would all be over soon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You snicker.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is incredibly stupid.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fun and stupid.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike rolls his eyes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He can't read minds... right?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Suddenly there's a knock at the door.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'll get it!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike heads off, leaving you and Twilight alone.</span><br />&quot;You have to get up. How would your princess feel if she saw you like this?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Happy... Please don't stop.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Now it's your turn to roll your eyes.</span><br />&quot;There's this thing called 'moderation', y'know. You'll eventually get sick of this if you let it go on for too long.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Doubt it.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;God dammit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Approaching footsteps (hoofsteps?) remind you to expect company.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Twilight Sparkle?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Who's Twilight Sparkle? You only know of Twilight Sprinkles.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You look up from the comatose mare.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Standing not far from you is...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Princess Celestia?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The pegacorn ('alicorn' makes no sense, c'mon) before you looks /nothing/ like the picture Twilight showed you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For starters, this one is dark blue, a stark contrast to the EXTREMELY light-pink mare you expected.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her mane is not a rainbow; instead a sapphire blue.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It also moves.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her mane is moving, waving like it's been caught in a light breeze. Your scrutiny also lets you make out the odd blinking point on it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It reminds you of the night sky.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Finishing off your examination, she wears black regalia in the form of a necklace and crown. Her necklace bears an imprint of a crescent moon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is most certainly not the sun princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight needs to work on her photography or something, 'cuz she fucked up /big time/.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Princess Luna?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Who?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Princess Luna' is currently giving you the same expression of perplexity you feel.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight never mentioned this pegacorn.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Does that mean Equestria is under a diarchy?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna slowly directs her gaze to Twilight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The same Twilight you've been petting into submission for the past few minutes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh shit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You withdraw your hand faster than a horny teen caught jerkin' the gherkin.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So fast, you smack yourself on the side.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ow...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You say nothing, opting to let royalty speak first.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Greetings friends, and Our sincerest apologies for the confusion. Sister had an emergency meeting to attend, leaving Us to fill her spot.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Us'?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight must still be recovering, because she remains firmly rooted to her spot.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's good to see you again, Princess Luna. Don't worry about the mistake. Today is too nice of a day to worry about those things.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna gives Twilight an odd look before facing you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Get off your ass, Anon! Show some respect!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You rise to your full height.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Princess Luna is undoubtedly taller than other ponies but she still falls quite short when compared to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You still aren't sure if you should say anything or--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous. It is a pleasure to finally meet beyond the Realm of Dreams.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br />&quot;What.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've always been good at first impressions.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Realm of Dreams'? What the hell is that?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have definitely never seen this pony before.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna isn't phased by your ignorance.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We are eager to converse under more... stable conditions. Your dreams can become interesting, to say the least.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br />&quot;What?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;What the hell is she talking about? What do your dreams have to do with anything?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Princess Luna's calm exterior cracks, showing a hint of annoyance.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Did We not make ourselves clear? Must We repeat ourselves?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Who the FUCK is 'we'???</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You feel like you're losing it.</span><br />&quot;We've never met! EVER!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;At least your volume isn't overkill.</span><br />&quot;And I don't know what the hell my dreams have to do with anything.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna is bewildered, to say the least. She looks at you like /you're/ the one in the wrong.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thou do not recall any of our exchanges?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You shake your head in frustration.</span><br />&quot;We. Have. Never. Met. Maybe you've mistaken me for someone... else.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh. Right.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thy name is Anonymous, correct? The only hue-mun in Equestria?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What happened to her speech? Why is she throwing in bits of ye-olde-English all of a sudden?</span><br />&quot;Yes, that is my name.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Then We are most certainly not mistaken. Thy dreams are like no other pony's.&quot;</span><br />&quot;What's so special about my dreams? You keep mentioning them.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're going insane with the lack of critical information being fed to you. How you haven't jumped out a window yet is beyond you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Is that not where thou was first introduced to Us?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Stay calm, Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've gone this long without having a mental breakdown.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Surely you can go another few weeks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Deep breaths.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Remember, this is Ponyland.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;They have magic and mythical creatures.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For fuck's sake, YOU might as well be magical with your newfound 'powers'.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Anything is possible here.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...You okay Anon?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike's voice brings you back to reality.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He's standing to the side, halfway between you and the Princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You let out a deep breath.</span><br />&quot;Yea.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You gaze deeply into Luna's moderate cyan eyes, hoping to hell your next words get through to her.</span><br />&quot;I'm sorry Princess Luna. I have absolutely no recollection of meeting you, anywhere.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna stares back with an intensity that would make a lying man squirm.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Eventually she responds.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Very well Anonymous. We have little reason to think thou would mislead Us. Perhaps the Dream Realm plays a different role in hue-muns.&quot;</span><br />&quot;'Dream Realm'?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes. Do hue-muns not experience a dream state?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yea, but I almost never remember any of mine. Most people don't.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Princess Luna's expression falls flat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thou... hath never recalled a dream before?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Rarely. The memory fades quickly after waking up.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Princess Luna looks away in thought.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Of course...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When she faces you again, there's a small smile on her face.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;A thousand pardons, Anonymous. It was foalish of Us to act on assumptions.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wave a hand dismissively.</span><br />&quot;It's all good.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Then We suppose a proper greeting is in order.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna's wings extends as she begins to speak, giving an impressive show.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We are Princess Luna, Guardian of the Night, sister to the Princess of the Sun. It is a pleasure to meet you.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She takes a short bow, which you return afterwards.</span><br />&quot;I'm Anonymous.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wish you had a cool moniker.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's an honor to meet you.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Hold the fuck up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You glance down to Twilight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's finally recovered from your session and is sitting up straight, eyes set on the princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She must feel your gaze burning a hole in her head, because she looks up at you.</span><br />&quot;Why did you NOT tell me there was another princess???&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Mild surprise.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Of course I did!... Right?&quot;</span><br />&quot;NO! If you had, this entire situation could've been avoided!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse is rapidly sorting through her memory banks to see if you're wrong.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Obviously you're not, and she shakes her head.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm terribly sorry, Anonymous. I don't know how such a huge detail could've gone unspoken.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's taking it quite well. Must be because of the petting.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You roll your eyes, turning back to Princess Luna who is watching Twilight with great interest.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If you had to take a guess, you'd say she isn't thrilled with Twilight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wouldn't be either. How did you manage to go this long without learning about Luna?</span><br />&quot;It's alright. Mistakes were made, we learn and move on.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We must say, Anonymous, the manner in which you now carry yourself is a delightful contrast to what We have come to expect.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her outdated speech is gone now, yet she keeps saying 'we'. Who is 'we'?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's also weird that she knows you and your mannerisms through... dreaming.</span><br />&quot;First impressions are important.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We recall our first introduction was met with, and We quote, 'Who the fuck are you?' You later explained that the word 'fuck' is highly offensive to humans.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Someone please kill you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's eyes are wide, likely due to shock over having a princess utter such vulgar dialect.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike is staring in awe as though he just discovered his new hero.</span><br />&quot;I, uh... That wasn't /me/ speaking, y'know? I wouldn't... usually say those things.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your voice dies down as the smirk on Princess Luna's face grows.</span><br />&quot;To royalty.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You mumble that last part.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We do not hold ill will towards you; rather, We enjoy your unfiltered view of the world.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Unfiltered... Oh god, what else did I say?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Perhaps We will share another day. In the meantime, We believe there is a suitable table waiting for us?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You /really/ want to know what other unspeakable horrors you divulged to the princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Of course! Right this way.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight stands up, walking past you to the carefully prepared table of various goodies fit for royalty and picky humans.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You gesture for Luna to go ahead.</span><br />&quot;Ladies first.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She walks by, leaving Spike standing by his lonesome.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm not a girl.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You huff in amusement before following Luna.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Let the meeting begin</span><br /><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In hindsight, you should've figured it out yourself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Princess Celestia raises the sun.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's only natural that Princess Luna would raise the moon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well, as natural as moving two celestial bodies.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Don't think about it, Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Remember, Ponyland.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've been conversing with Twilight, Spike, and Luna for some time now. Turns out the Princess of the Night is quite relaxed and easygoing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thank goodness, you can't stand having to heavily watch what you say.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Due to Luna already having knowledge on you it's been an equal-sided discussion, something you've missed over the past week.</span><br />&quot;Does that mean you're nocturnal?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna pauses from nibbling on a cookie.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;In a way, yes. Most of Our hours spent awake are during the night. However, the call to sleep does not affect Us as it does other ponies.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've come to accept her usage of the 'royal We', confusing as it gets.</span><br />&quot;So you don't sleep at all?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;A couple of hours at most.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Cool.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just imagine the things you could get done if you only had to rest for a few hours a day.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna directs her attention to Twilight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Twilight Sparkle, how have your studies been going? Would you like Us to relay a message to Sister upon Our return?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight takes a moment to think.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hmmm... Nothing comes to mind.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike gives Twilight an incredulous look.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Really? You can't think of /anything/ worth mentioning?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He glances at you, then back to Twilight. You, Book Horse, you, Book Horse.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ohhh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You smile.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fortunately Twilight isn't so dense as to miss the obvious implication.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Not yet, Spike. There's countless amounts of testing that still needs to be finished before I can present my findings to Princess Celestia.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike grins.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Of course. You've really been enjoying all the 'testing' Anon has done for you... No, /on/ you.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You snort.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Cheeky little dragon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's cheeks darken at his remark.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It can't be helped if the process is enjoyable.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yea, /really/ enjoyable.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You involuntarily let out a small giggle.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;'Testing'? Have you started a new project?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna's interjection saves Spike from the scathing glare of Twilight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse rubs a shoulder with a hoof, still red in the face from embarrassment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes, but... Well, not exactly. It's difficult to explain.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hardly! Anon boops noses and ponies like it, what else is there to it?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If looks could kill...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous does /what/?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight groans.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous, can you please explain to Princess Luna what 'booping' is?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Sure&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You make out Luna quietly mouthing the word to herself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Any reservations you had on explaining it to others has withered away. If they don't believe you, you can just show them.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You quickly relay your discovery to the princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's intrigued, to say the least.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Do hue-muns have magic of their own?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Nope.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No special technique?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Uh-uh.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna ponders this new information.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Fascinating...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You grin, raising a finger.</span><br />&quot;Wanna see it in action? I'm sure Twilight wouldn't mind assisting me with a demonstration.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight glowers at you, the effect ruined by the dark purple dotting her cheeks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I am NOT a guinea pig!&quot;</span><br />&quot;I didn't hear a no...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna interrupts your fun.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Instead of demonstrating on Twilight Sparkle, We would be interested in experiencing this phenomenon for Ourselves.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Oh.</span><br />&quot;Uhm... okay.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna obviously pays attention, because she leans slightly over the table to allow you better access to her nose.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Whenever you are ready, Anonymous.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your still-raised finger is guided towards her awaiting nose.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Shit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Do you even know what you're doing?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're about to boop a princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A princess who enters dreams and raises the goddamn moon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You better not fuck this up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This needs to be the best damn boop you've ever given, and /then/ some.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Relax, Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've trained for this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rainbow Dash, Butterfly, Rarity...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Every single nose you touched was nothing more than a warmup.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This one is for the history books.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well shit, that was anticlimactic.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;On the plus side, you bet Luna has never made THAT face before.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's adorable really.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The Guardian of the Night is adorable.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It only takes a few seconds for the effects to kick in.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna focuses on you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If it weren't for the smile on her face and the sparkle in her eyes, you'd think nothing happened.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's very good at containing her emotions.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;To be expected of a leader, you suppose.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Then she speaks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What exhilaration! Such a rush of excitement and energy... We hath only experienced this joy on the battlefield!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna's wings extend out to their full length as she continues rattling off other events that made her feel this way.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You think you heard 'beating Sister' and 'spider toss' in there.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her verbiage has returned to including ye-olde speak, likely a byproduct of her enthusiasm.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You'd love to know why she does that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...with a final 'huzzah'!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Princess Luna finally regards you with a look of wonder.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thou are truly skilled in the art of booping. We are curious, Anonymous; thou hast other unmentioned abilities?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nah, it's not princess-suitable.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Did you see how Twilight looked when you came in? Anon can also give a really good massage!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The purple dragon deflates a little.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Not that I would know.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You join Twilight in staring daggers at him.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;God dammit, Spike.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fortunately you know Luna has these things called 'standards', seeing as she's a princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thou are a proficient masseur?&quot;</span><br />&quot;No. It's... apparently ponies also like when I... y'know, do that.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna brings a hoof up to her chin.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We are intrigued...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...There's no way, right?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Right.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Because she has standards.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Twilight Sparkle appeared to be in a state of bliss from your ministrations... Would thou care to further demonstrate thy skills?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fuck.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's interested.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Princess Luna has terrible standards.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But wait!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She gave you a choice!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...A &quot;choice&quot;.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Psh, as if you'd say no.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;First of all, she's a princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Secondly, you're not opposed to obliging the lady; it's just the last thing you expected was for a ruler of Equestria to basically ask you to pet her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well, duty calls...</span><br />&quot;If you want.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Good move, Anon. Put the ball back in her court.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Then it is settled. Does thou require We lie down?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Goddammit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight and Spike's facial expression perfectly capture your feelings at this moment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Disbelief, disbelief, and more disbelief.</span><br />&quot;Uhm, I don't think there's any need for that... Although Twilight /was/ sitting when we started.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna waits patiently for you to begin.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're in too deep now. There's no going back.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You rise from your chair, closing the short distance between you two.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The princess opted not to use a seat (much to Twilight's displeasure), instead sitting on a cushion.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thus, you're forced to crouch down, resting beside Luna on one knee.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She says nothing, silently watching your movements.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If you were on edge before...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This isn't just a simple touch of the nose.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That was child's play compared to your current task.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You are about to initiate full-on contact with the Princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have not trained for this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're flying blind.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your hand tentatively reaches out to her dark blue coat...</span><br /><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You'll give Luna credit, she succeeded where other ponies failed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Despite dissolving into nothing more than a blob with wings, she remains upright.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Speaking of wings, they rest unfurled and limp against her side.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes are closed, ears twitching similar to Twilight's.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have no idea what you were expecting but this probably should've been it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You continue your massaging. Luna's coat is extremely soft, nearly identical to Rarity's.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So this is what your life has come to.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your ancestors worked through their blood, sweat, and tears across hundreds, if not thousands of years, to produce you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And what do you do?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You pet a pony princess who controls the moon in a magical land with other magical creatures.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Life is weird.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Now is probably a good time to stop. Luna's gotten more than a 'demonstration' and if Rarity and Book Horse is any indication, you'll never receive a request to let up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You cease your movements, bringing your hand to rest limply at your side.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight and Spike have been watching, the former clearly jealous of the relaxed princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It doesn't take long for Luna to boot back up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She opens her eyes, staring into nothing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Eventually she adjusts herself from having been unconsciously leaning on your hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna looks at you with a calm expression.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous, how would you like a position working alongside me?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What.</span><br />&quot;...Doing what?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Suspicion creeps into your tone.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Your skills as a masseur and with... 'booping' have left me deeply impressed. I would love to have your talents around when they are needed.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Holy shit, you pet the 'royal We' out of her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're also trying to figure out how to approach this.</span><br />&quot;I don't know...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna is undeterred by your hesitance.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You will be paid handsomely, of course. All that will be required of you is to administer boops and massages to me as needed. You will called... The Royal Booper!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Only a natural-twenty will keep you from busting a gut laughing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The die shows...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twenty.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thank you, RNGesus.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You adopt a poker face of the Gods.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Being paid for work would be amazing. You could give Rarity proper payment and maybe even move out!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Assuming there's anywhere in Ponyville you could rent/buy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well, what about the working conditions? You wouldn't be surrounded by uneasy Ponyville residents anymore!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Instead you'd deal with uneasy ponies you've never met. Moving doesn't suddenly make everyone friendly to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Besides, from the last few days you think you're becoming a less-fearful sight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You calmly respond to Princess Luna.</span><br />&quot;Exotic as that sounds, I'm not sure I can accept.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna looks at you with curiosity as you speak.</span><br />&quot;For starters, it would be awfully selfish of me to only help one pony.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna huffs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I suppose I could share...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You ignore that.</span><br />&quot;And even if that wasn't the case, Twilight does need me for testing, pleasurable or otherwise.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You smirk at the lavender unicorn, who shoots you another weak glare.</span><br />&quot;So yea... Sorry but I have to decline.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna doesn't say a word, instead staring at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're still parked right beside her so being this close as she scrutinizes you is uncomfortable.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Finally she sighs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Very well, Anonymous. We will not push the matter any further. A shame.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Sorry.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You disappointed her so hard she went back to the 'royal We'.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;There is no reason to apologize. We understand and respect your decision. Just remember--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A dark-blue wing reaches out to wrap around you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;--the offer will always be available.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Damn this is cozy</span><br />&quot;I'll keep that in mind.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna smiles before releasing her hold on you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You stand up, rubbing your sore knee before hobbling back to your seat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With business back to normal you take a swig of your drink, enjoying the fruity flavor.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This punch really is good.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;C'mon, it'll be fun!&quot;</span><br />&quot;No thanks.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We've already raced by land and air--&quot;</span><br />&quot;/You've/ raced by air.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rainbow Dash pays no mind to your interruption.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;--so all that' left is the sea!... Or pond, whatever.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You hate to ruin her fun but...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Actually no, you don't care.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You shake your head at the light-cerulean mare standing before you.</span><br />&quot;Based off recent results, I have a sneaking suspicion the outcome won't favor me. Ever.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;If only you knew what her Cutie Mark (such an absurd name) symbolized /before/ she challenged you to those two sprints.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Unsurprisingly the first event was a blowout.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After you gave her shit for using her wings she agreed to keep all four hooves on the ground.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The next run was much better, but you still lost.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That was when her orange friend finally spilled the beans.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Turns out Skittles is kind of fast.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fast, as in /really fucking fast/.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You know the word &quot;modest&quot; doesn't exist in her dictionary but all the praise was coming from Apples, not Dash.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What sealed the deal was the mention of a &quot;Sonic Rainboom&quot;, where Skittles flies so fast she basically creates a rainbow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Earth's counterpart is much less flashy, but they both have the same condition.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So yea, there's no way in hell you're winning against someone who can break the goddamn sound barrier.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Of course, Dash is undeterred by your rejection.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We're not running this time! Come on, Anon, I wouldn't be surprised if you actually managed to win!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So humble.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Admitting potential defeat? She must be desperate now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You'd love to know what fuels her to pester you so much.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe she just loves winning and you're so pathetically slow she can feed off your losses for eternity.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Possibly.</span><br />&quot;The last thing I want is to further increase the size of your ego.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash's wings flair out at your jab.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey, I'm not egotistic!&quot;</span><br />&quot;I never said you were...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You implied it! Don't try to weasel your way out of this like you always do!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Too late.</span><br />&quot;What if I implied interest in competing?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can see her expression struggling to remain irritated at you. With each passing second, it turns into skepticism.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Just implying, or...&quot;</span><br />&quot;I can't let you have a spotless record, ya know.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Damn you and your competitiveness.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Any trace of annoyance from her is gone, replaced with an excited grin.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's so quick to forgive.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash leaps into the air, hovering at head height.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Awesome! I'll go get Applejack and we'll meet you at the pond. You're going /down/!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She flies right in front of you, leaning forward so her face is centimeters away from yours.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Holy shit what is personal space and how does it work?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's a foreign concept to these little horses.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not that you have much first-hand experience. Most ponies keep their distance away from you, seeing as you're new and all.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Surprisingly Dash has proven herself to be a big exception.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're not sure if you love it or hate it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Little of column A, little of column B.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash breaks away from you, soaring away in the direction of what you remember is Applejack's place of residence.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You watch her for a little while before starting towards the pond.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's no way you'll lose this time.</span><br /><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your lungs could really use some oxygen right about now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's the final lap of the race, and you're giving it all you got.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can barely make out Rainbow Dash next to you. The pair of you have been almost dead even the entire time.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Come on, just a few... more... feet...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your hand finally makes contact with the dirt.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Time!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sweet relief, you can relax now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You raise yourself out of the pond, water cascading around you. You take a seat on the edge, legs partially submerged.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In hindsight, you should've brought a towel.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh well. The sun will suffice.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Beside you, Dash has also climbed out. Her wet mane is pressed flat against her head.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Interesting look.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Without warning, she begins to vigorously shake herself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Water droplets fly everywhere and you instinctively turn away to avoid taking the assault head-on.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;How long is she going to keep this up?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Eventually you no longer feel anything pelting your back, so you turn around to face a now-damp Dash.</span><br />&quot;Sheesh. What are you, a fuckin' dog?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She glances at you sheepishly.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh, sorry about that. Maybe I should've moved--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her voice abruptly cuts off as your words finally sink in.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Who are you calling a 'dog'?!?&quot;</span><br />&quot;You! You're shaking yourself off just like one.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;The whole situation amuses you more than anything.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash doesn't appear to share your thoughts.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You mean /dogs/ shake themselves off like /ponies/. It was either this or a tornado.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're really interested in that first bit, but now isn't the time to ask.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Besides, you doubt she knows much more.</span><br />&quot;Ever heard of this thing called a towel?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Does it look like I brought a towel?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wish.</span><br />&quot;I wish. I could use one.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rainbow Dash stares at your exposed body.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The only thing you have on right now is a pair of boxers, seeing as swimming trunks don't exist in Equestria.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Crude, but it works.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Skittles can't fathom why you'd wear anything while swimming. That was a fun five minutes of explanation.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Even after some lewd gesturing and straight-talk, she remained unconvinced.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You know there's no underlying meaning to her-- or anyone else's-- staring outside of curiosity.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wear clothes most of the time, so they're not used to seeing you like this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wish women back home gawked as much as ponies do.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Try shaking yourself off. If it works for us, who knows. Maybe it'll help you.&quot;</span><br />&quot;I don't have fur so that's not an option.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash shrugs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Let the sun dry you? I'm running out of ideas.&quot;</span><br />&quot;That's the plan.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Excuse me.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can faintly make out a soft voice trying to get your attention, so you turn some more to look behind you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Butterfly--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Wait, no. It's Fluttershy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Because she's quiet n' shit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy is standing patiently, alternating glances between you and Skittles.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Applehorse couldn't make it, so Dash brought along Quiet Horse to judge.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;From what little you've seen of her, she's quite timid. You wouldn't be surprised if Dash escorted her here against her will.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Poor bastard.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Last you remember, Fluttershy was keeping track of the race from directly above the pond.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;How long has she been waiting there?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I didn't want to interrupt your conversation. I have the results of your race if you want to hear.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh right, the race!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Heck yea we wanna know! It was neck-and-neck to the finish!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't help but lean in a little closer, using an arm to support yourself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy brings a hoof to her mouth, clearing her throat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Okay. It was a really close race, but the winner--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You got this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;--is--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You totally got this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;--Rainbow Dash!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You don't got this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;YEEEAAAA!!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash bursts into the air, leaving her signature rainbow trail to follow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fuck.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy watches the whooping pegasus above for a few seconds before eyeing your morose form.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You did great, Anon. Even if you didn't win, you gave it your all.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Cute words, Quiet Horse.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Unfortunately the whole point of doing this /was/ to win.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You let out a resigned sigh.</span><br />&quot;She's gonna hold this over me until the end of time.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;All you wanted was one win. ONE.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Everybody gets one, right?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Apparently not.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You face forward once more, bringing your legs to rest in the clear water.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You look up to the sky, Dash's cheering reaching you loud and clear.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yea yea, get it out of your system.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After about a minute, Skittles descends to head height, hovering above the pond. She's still giddy, eyes shining with exuberance.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That proves it! Nopony or being is faster than me!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Hold the fuck up.</span><br />&quot;You just wanted confirmation on being quicker than everyone?!?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She nods, still grinning like an idiot.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh come the fuck--</span><br />&quot;Did our first little 'race' not tip you off???&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;She dismisses your question with a wave of her hoof.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I had to be sure. And now...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She once again brings herself inches from your face.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I know. Nice try Anon, you're surprisingly quick for something with only two legs.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Personal.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Space.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just a heads up would suffice.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Yo Anon, I'm gonna get all up in your grill if that's cool.'</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You want nothing more than to grab Dash and dunk her in the pond.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sadly the more sensible side of you knows better. You're not /that/ close with her, or anyone for that matter.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're still seen as a new, unknown being that came from fuck-all with an outlandish backstory.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Would she mind?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You know poor Fluttershy would probably assume the worst.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gotta keep up good appearances.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So instead you grimace, leaning away to put some distance between the pair of you.</span><br />&quot;Thanks but--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;A hand reaches out to her, using your index finger to press Dash's nose. With a little more force you get her to ease away from you.</span><br />&quot;--four legs good; two legs better.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Need to save face for the human race somehow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash wrinkles her nose and you remove your finger.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her expression still hasn't changed. In fact, she's now staring at her nose, eyes crossed in an attempt to focus on it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is pretty funny.</span><br />&quot;You okay? All I did was--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Suddenly Dash drops like a rock, crashing into the pond with a loud splash.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Oh shit?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're not sure if you're supposed to be worried, but you're definitely getting there.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As you examine the blue mare underwater, the sound of approaching footsteps alert you to Fluttershy's appearance beside you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Skittles finally decides to resurface, breaking the surface with a loud gasp.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Good, she's not dead.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You reach out to grab a foreleg, pulling her ashore.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Once she's back on land, she glares at you like you did something wrong.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Are you okay?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy is concerned for her friend's condition, but Dash pays her no mind.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;DON'T do that again.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The voice doesn't match the expression. Her tone is one of mild annoyance.</span><br />&quot;What, help you?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She rolls her eyes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No, don't poke my nose. It feels... weird.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash shakes her head as though she's trying to get rid of a bad memory.</span><br />&quot;Uncomfortable weird or what?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...It's hard to explain. At first it felt uncomfortable and made my nose itch, but then...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her voice trails off and she breaks her gaze from you, instead looking at the pond.</span><br />&quot;'Then' what?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She doesn't respond, continuing to avoid your stare.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can make out a darker tinge of blue on her cheeks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Was that always there?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nah.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Is she blushing?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She is, isn't she.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You didn't know ponies could do that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;How does that even work? How is her coat darkening?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That is so weird.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;More importantly, /why/ is she embarrassed or however she feels?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;All you did was touch her nose.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;......</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Aw shit.</span><br />&quot;Oh god, are ponies' noses some sort of erogenous zone?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;See, this is what happens when you don't think before you act. Now ponies will assume you're some sexual predator.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nice going, Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash whips her head back to face you, clearly shocked, if not even more embarrassed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What??? NO!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh.</span><br />&quot;Is touching noses considered an intimate act only performed between a couple?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Now ponies will think you're trying to get with Rainbow Dash.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nice going, Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If she was flustered before, Skittles is a sputtering mess now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The last time you saw her look this abashed was when you told her the meaning of the nickname you gave her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Because your hair is just as colorful and you're just as sweet.'</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Of course the last portion was a joke but she didn't know that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The expression of confused horror she gave you has been permanently burned into your memory, seeing as it's the closest you've ever come to literally dying of laughter.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh my...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You glance back briefly to Fluttershy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It shouldn't be possible for one face to be that red.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're impressed she hasn't fainted or something out of second-hand embarrassment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Turning to your cyan pegasus acquaintance, she's regained enough composure to speak.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;NO!!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You open your mouth to list another possibility but Dash beats you to the punch.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;There's nothing special about our noses, Anon! You can stop guessing.&quot;</span><br />&quot;So what's the deal then? Obviously something is wrong.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Nothing is wrong. It's... Arghhh!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She throws up her hooves in defeat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It felt GOOD. There, are you happy now?!?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She stares daggers at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's it?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;THAT'S it???</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What the hell is wrong with her?</span><br />&quot;Of course I'm happy. How fuckin' hard was it to say that in the first place? You're acting like it was a declaration of love.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Skittles shoots you another glare.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It was unexpected, that's all.&quot;</span><br />&quot;All I did was boop your nose.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;'Boop'?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her face contorts with confusion.</span><br />&quot;Press, or Tap. It's nothing more than a dumb nickname that caught on.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes lose focus as she thinks for a bit. When she returns to the present, they narrow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Do it again.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You blink.</span><br />&quot;Why.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Please?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;First earlier, then this? She's on a roll today.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You snort in amusement.</span><br />&quot;Fine, only because you have good manners.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash ignores your jab, instead adjusting herself to sit up straight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Moderate cerise eyes track your raised hand as you prepare to deliver the killing blow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't help but hesitate.</span><br />&quot;Are you sure there isn't anything deeper to this?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You receive a deadpan look in return.</span><br />&quot;Okay, okay. Sorry...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;It better not turn out she has a freaky fetish for getting her nose touched.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not the worst thing, but you don't want to fuel her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You slowly bring your index finger to her nose, her eyes crossing to keep it in sight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Why are you nervous?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;All you're doing is touching her nose, right?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;RIGHT???</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You once again make contact with her soft coat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After pressing down gently, you remove your hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Mission accomplished.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash remains fixated on her nose, her face scrunched up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This time you chuckle. Ponies' behavior can be so childlike at times.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luckily she's already grounded, so you don't have to worry about her falling again.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Unless she collapses.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Shit man, you have no idea what the fuck is going to happen.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After a short period of time Dash eases up, her face and body relaxing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes close, a smile steadily forming.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She looks like she's on cloud nine.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're having a hard time taking her comment on ponies' noses at face value.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe it's a secret button that releases endorphins.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wish you had one.</span><br />&quot;Having fun?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash says nothing. Instead she slowly opens her eyes, giving you a dreamy look.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That... was... /awesome/.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She half-whispers the last bit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is nothing short of absurd. The entire situation is baffling, to say the least.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not that you're complaining. In fact, you're having fun.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Who knew Skittles got so much enjoyment out of having her nose touched?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;How did she just discover this?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's so weird. After the initial discomfort, it's like... It feels...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She struggles to come up with a suitable description before giving up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's hard to explain, but it's sooooo good.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash gives you a suspicious look... except it's diluted by her wet mane plastered against her forehead.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Are you using magic? I don't remember you saying anything about being able to use magic.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You shake your head.</span><br />&quot;I don't have any sort of magic whatsoever. All I did was--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You point to her.</span><br />&quot;--that.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Alright, if you say so.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She still looks skeptical but she doesn't push the issue, leaving you to your thoughts.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash is acting like you performed some impossible task. Maybe she should--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Again.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Hmm?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She looks at you expectantly, as though it's obvious what she wants.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;One more time.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ehhh...</span><br />&quot;I dunno, that last one took a lot out of me. How about a thumbs up instead?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash isn't pleased by your gesture.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Stop messing around, Anon, I know there's nothing wrong with you. Just one more, that's all.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You exaggerate faking internal debate on whether or not to oblige her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Pleeeease?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh jeez, she's got the puppy-dog eyes and everything.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Stop it, heart. You know better than to fall for it.</span><br />&quot;Low blow, Skittles. Don't toy with my emotions.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;An eye twitches upon hearing her nickname, yet she makes no comment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yea, she's desperate.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She better be in goddamn Nirvana to hassle you so much over this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With a groan, you quickly lean over and...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rainbow Dash is caught off guard by your speed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Crossed eyes, scrunched-up nose, yada yada.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's still funny.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just like before, she drifts into a relaxed state.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;However, you're perplexed when she starts chuckling.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Quietly first, then evolving into her signature sharp laughter.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You want whatever she's having.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Before you can ask her what she finds so humorous, she suddenly rockets into the air.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;One second she's next to you; the next there's nothing but a rainbow trail signifying her existence.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Damn.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thanks Anon!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You observe her shrinking form as she corkscrews away, performing various other acrobatic feats that would leave fighter jet pilots jealous.</span><br />&quot;Don't mention it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;No one around to hear but it's good to remember your manners.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That was one interesting event.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Who knew Skittles had a thing for getting her nose booped?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Do all ponies operate like that?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're kind of tempted--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Wow Anon, you really made Rainbow Dash happy.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your heart nearly leaps out of your chest at the abrupt interruption of your pondering.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You whirl around to face...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Holy shit, you forgot she was here.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You know she's quiet but /Christ/, no one should be that mute.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Did she seriously sit there the entire time without saying a word?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This mare should look into covert operations. No one would notice her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You focus on reducing your heart palpitations, letting out a deep breath.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Is something wrong?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Bless her oblivious heart.</span><br />&quot;No, I... Just no.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Quick, change the subject!</span><br />&quot;Yea, she did look pretty ecstatic.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy smiles.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I think it's wonderful you and Dash get along so well.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If by 'get along so well' she means 'You not having to constantly watch your every move in order to avoid giving ponies the wrong idea about you', then yea you get along alright.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's not the only one you can relax around, thankfully.</span><br />&quot;I guess we do.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your thoughts have been drifting back to ponies' noses.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Weird subject, but it's important.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Important enough.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Is Skittles the only pony who acts like they discovered heaven itself after getting booped?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're intrigued now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You need test subjects. Ponies who won't mind giving up a few minutes in the name of science.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Except how do you bring this up without looking or sounding like you've gone off your rocker?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash wouldn't mind if you told others about her reaction, right?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's a good starting point.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Still, you need volunteers.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Lucky for you, one may be right in front of you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You focus back on Butte-- Fluttershy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In hindsight, maybe you shouldn't have zoned out while staring at her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes are nearly as wide as dinner plates, pupils zeroed in on you to detect any sudden movement.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Goodness, lady, you're not going to attack her.</span><br />&quot;I have a question.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Silence.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Can I, uhh, touch your nose?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;That sounded as stupid as you thought it would.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy eases up, no longer on edge.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Just like with Rainbow Dash?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yea. I'm curious to know if it's just her or possibly something bigger.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well... that sounds safe.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Worst case scenario, you misaim and end up sticking your finger up her nose.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Don't say that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy closes the short distance before taking a seat again.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's clearly a little nervous.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Then again, when is she ever not?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Don't worry Quiet Horse, you'll make this as painless as possible.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy blinks once, her nose twitching at the strange sensation.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Then she proceeds to go through the same ritual as Dash.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Man, that expression will never get old.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Soon enough, she breaks into a smile much bigger than her usual timid versions.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nice. You're two for two now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She lets out a giggle. An honest to goodness giggle.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You had no idea she was capable of showing such emotion.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Is she going to take to the skies as well?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No wonder Rainbow Dash was so giddy. That felt really nice, Anon.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You feel like you've stumbled onto something huge.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Which is a problem.</span><br />&quot;Has no one in this world EVER touched someone else's nose? Is it against the law or am I out of the loop?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fluttershy is still in a cheerful state.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;There's no law against touching somepony's nose, but I've never felt like /this/ afterwards.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She closes her eyes in contentment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is ridiculous.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Amusing, confusing, and ridiculous.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You need to know more on what the hell is up with these miniature multicolored horses.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You need facts.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Cold, hard, boring facts.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Preferably without having to pour through an endless series of books.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fortunately there's a pony you know who's already done that for you.</span><br /><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What's her name...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight... Sprinkles?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Something along that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You'll just stick with Twilight, or Book Horse.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She lives in a library and likes books. Simple enough.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're approaching the massive tree that houses the Ponyville library, home to the purple unicorn and her small dragon slave.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Or assistant.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not much of a difference.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You reach the door and give five quick knocks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In no time at all it opens, revealing...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;No one.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey Anon, how's it going?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Whoops.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You glance down to see Spike standing before you in all his short glory.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You literally look down on everyone, something that's still taking some getting used to.</span><br />&quot;'Sup. Is Twilight here? I need to talk to her.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;She's right over there. Come on in!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike moves away from the door and out of view.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You step inside, closing the door behind you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ah, libraries.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't remember the last time you visited one on Earth.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight is sitting at a table next to one of the few sections of wall not occupied by a bookshelf. A book lies open before her, but all her attention is on you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous, what a pleasant surprise! How has your day been so far? Are you enjoying your time in Ponyville?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse has dubbed you her responsibility, seeing as she's the princess' personal prot&quot;g&quot;e.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For someone who's supposed to keep tabs on you, the pair of you don't converse much.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sure you have a different place of temporary residence, but still.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you do talk you get the feeling she always wants to say more, except something holds her back.</span><br />&quot;Good and yea, it's been alright.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;If there's anything I can do to make your stay more than 'alright', just let me know!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For starters, you'd love for everyone not to fear you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There aren't many ponies you can even pass by without noticing the uneasiness in their eyes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Time, Anon. That takes time.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...You hope.</span><br />&quot;I'll keep that in mind.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You head over to the table all the while continuing to talk.</span><br />&quot;I... uh, have a question.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What is it?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You reach the small table, towering over the sitting mare.</span><br />&quot;It's about... it's... okay let's get some backstory here so this doesn't sound so stupid.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's horn glows, levitating a bookmark near her which she places neatly between the book's pages.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She shuts it and you can make out the title.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Melzar's Multitude of Mesmerizing Mythical Creatures: Volume Four</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Say nothing, Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Two pony ears direct their attention to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm all ears.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Alrighty, where to start...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The beginning sounds good. Best to not leave anything out.</span><br />&quot;So earlier today, Skittles was bothering me--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;'Skittles'?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Rainbow Dash. It's a nickname.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her right eye gives a near-imperceptible twitch, which you ignore.</span><br />&quot;Yea, so Dash was bothering me...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You go through the events leading up to when she got in your face.</span><br />&quot;...you should've seen it, it was great. Then after a few seconds she drops into the pond. Stops flying, stops moving, just lets gravity take over. I'm talking one hundred to zero like /that/.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You snap your fingers for effect.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight adopts a worried expression.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Was she okay?&quot;</span><br />&quot;I thought the same thing. Pulled her out and she said 'don't touch my nose, it felt weird' and I asked her to elaborate. That's when she got all embarrassed and stuff.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Embarrassed? Why would she be embarrassed over that?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Exactly! I made a few... guesses that were a couple miles off mark, all under the assumption that there's something special about your noses that I didn't get the memo on. That's when she finally spilled the beans.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse is glued to your every word now.</span><br />&quot;Turns out she liked it. And when I say liked it, I really mean she LOVED it, if the second time was any indication.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight takes a moment to process this new revelation about her friend.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Rainbow Dash... likes having her nose touched?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's bewildered, to say the least.</span><br />&quot;There's more to it. She couldn't explain why or how it felt so good.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You shake your head.</span><br />&quot;So after she pestered me for a third one which she received, she flew away. That just left me and Fluttershy. Short story short, I asked to try it on her. Guess what?<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Fluttershy didn't feel anything?&quot;</span><br />&quot;WRONG. She experienced the same stuff as Dash! Both of them apparently have some weird enjoyment of being booped.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;'Booped'?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ugh.</span><br />&quot;Basically a light tap, like this.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You demonstrate using the back of your hand as the receiver.</span><br />&quot;Yea, so all of that leads into my question.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You dramatically clear your throat.</span><br />&quot;What the FUCK is going on??? Have I been lied to regarding noses? I need answers... Please.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Always remember your manners.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight looks at you with a frown.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;There are children present, Anonymous. I know you have different words than ponies for expressing heavy emotions but a swear is a swear.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh crap, you forgot Spike was here.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A quick turn-around and you spot him in a poor attempt to pretend he isn't eavesdropping.</span><br />&quot;Sorry, it slipped out.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Understandable.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight levitates a stool over to you, which you place down before taking a seat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Once you've stopped fidgeting, she speaks up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I've never heard of anypony who experienced a reaction similar to what you've mentioned. This is very strange.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You don't like that look she's giving you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It screams &quot;The only reason I haven't dismissed this is because you're new here.&quot;</span><br />&quot;I swear I'm not insane, I am just as confused as you are. If you don't believe me go talk to Fluttershy, she can vouch for me.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Unless she focuses more on your accidental staring.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The reassurance of having someone to confirm your ludicrous findings with appears to ease Twilight's mind.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I believe you Anonymous, peculiar as it sounds.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thank goodness.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes trail upwards in thought.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy... For something so noncomplex, how could it remained unnoticed for so long?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight is in her own world now, speaking to herself more than you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;They're both pegasi, which may play a factor in this.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She looks at you once more.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;All you did was touch their noses?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yup.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Could you demonstrate on me? If my hypothesis is correct, unlikely as it is--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She mutters that last part.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;--we might be able to narrow it down to a specific group, making it easier to determine who or what is affected. Of course there are Celestia-knows how many other variables we need to account for, but this is a good place to start.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Touch Book Horse's nose? Simple enough.</span><br />&quot;Alright. Whenever you're ready.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight leans closer to the table, jutting out her head. Her pale-mulberry nose sticks out for testing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If this doesn't work you'll look like you've gone nutters; the last thing you need when barely anyone trusts you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Up goes your hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ready... Aim....</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's nose twitches.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's a good sign.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes cross.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's a funny sign. Also good.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's the face scrunch.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;All that's left is--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse's eyes widen, pupil's dilating. Her mouth forms into a small &quot;o&quot;.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is new.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After a few seconds her eyes return to normal only now she's smiling, showing plenty of teeth.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;This is incredible! I've never felt so... so...&quot;</span><br />&quot;Good?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Great! No, more than great! This is better than when I scored perfect marks on Princess Celestia's Transfiguration Exam! Everypony else got stuck on the orange, but I did it! Oh that was an amazing day!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Good for her?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is not much different than Skittles' final reaction but far more energetic than Fluttershy's.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe Quiet Horse's reserved nature kept her from acting like so.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight finally brings herself to focus on you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm sorry I ever doubted you Anonymous. You've discovered something huge! Of course my reaction completely blows away my hypothesis, but who cares!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're just relieved it works on her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight takes in a deep breath before letting out a satisfied sigh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ahhhh. We need to get to the bottom of this. I hope you like answering questions.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her horn is enveloped in her signature light-raspberry aura but nothing happens.</span><br />&quot;I'll answer whatever you want me to.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her ears perk up at that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Really?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yea, how else are we supposed to figure this out?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You flinch as a quill and piece of paper soar by your ear.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So that's what she was doing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight appears crestfallen.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;?</span><br />&quot;Did you have something else in mind?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Not exactly... It's nothing important, don't worry.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She lets out a half-hearted chuckle.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Okay...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Quill and paper at the ready, Twilight is silent in thought.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Eventually she speaks up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Just to confirm, you have no magic whatsoever residing in you, correct?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Right.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Based off your thoughts on pressing noses, hue-muns gain no pleasure from being booped. Is this true?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You manage to suppress a snort.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're also impressed she remembers your species, seeing as you've brought it up a grand total of one time.</span><br />&quot;Also right.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;And, considering your reaction to this development, you are not performing these... boopings with the conscious intention to benefit others.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Correct.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Wait.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Do--&quot;</span><br />&quot;Elaborate on that last sentence.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Would you like me to rephrase it?&quot;</span><br />&quot;I understand what you meant. I was referring to 'the conscious intention to benefit others'.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's gaze never leaves you even while the quill effortlessly glides from left to right, printing unknown words.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Neat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I could explain now, but I'm willing to bet you'll have your answer after a few more minutes.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You decide to let the subject drop.</span><br />&quot;If you say so.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight nods, resuming where she left off.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;This is... interesting, at the very least. An otherworldly being with no magic is able to bring pleasure to ponies just by touching their noses.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight blinks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Very interesting.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's one way of putting it.</span><br />&quot;So now what?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Now? Now I want to know /how/. How are you able to do it?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You shrug.</span><br />&quot;I don't know. I was hoping you had an answer.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous, there is an infinitesimal chance something so glaringly blatant has gone unnoticed in Equestria for the thousand-plus years it has existed. For goodness sake, all it takes is a press of the nose!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight brings a hoof up to her face, gently pressing down on her nose.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The pair of you wait for any reaction, yet none comes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;See?!?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Maybe you can't do it to yourself. Maybe you need someone else.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight gives you a look of exasperation.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I've lost count of the amount of times Pinkie booped me!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's a fast learner. She's already caught on to its usage.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;For some reason only you can pull it off!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This has gone well past absurd and jumped straight into what-in-the-fuck-is-going-on-even territory.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Bewildered doesn't even begin to describe how you feel.</span><br />&quot;Book Horse,--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes narrow, which you ignore.</span><br />&quot;--do you understand just how /insane/ that sounds?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;YES!!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She wails that out.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;......</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You get it now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight Sprinkles.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Princess Celestia's star pupil.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The librarian; book reader extraordinaire.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The mare who undoubtedly knows more than anyone you've met (limited as that list may be).</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight is completely and utterly lost.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This two-legged creature has her stumped, simply because it doesn't fit here. It doesn't belong here.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You definitely feel for her right now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It must be similar to how you felt upon your arrival to this magical world.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'This shouldn't happen. This shouldn't be real.'</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'But it is.'</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The two of you say nothing else, letting the ambient sounds of the world wash over you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can hear Spike occasionally turn a page from a book he's pretending to read.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Finally you break the silence.</span><br />&quot;...It just blows my mind, y'know? I'm not doing anything special at all. Just--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You gesture with a finger.</span><br />&quot;--one finger, nothing more to it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight stares flatly at your outstretched hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Suddenly it's like a switch was flicked.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her drooped ears shoot up and you can see a spark of hope in her eyes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Spike! I need your help!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In a matter of seconds the purple dragon is by her side.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Still hard to believe this squirt is a dragon. Guess the fantasy books couldn't get everything right.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What do you need, Twilight?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;A booping!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Quick, roll to avoid smiling!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The die shows...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;One.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fuck.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You guffaw, poorly covering it up with an equally loud coughing fit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight and Spike stare at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You okay dude?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your eyes water as you address Spike's concern.</span><br />&quot;Yea, there's something in my throat.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;A bad case of the giggles.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Do you need a glass of water?&quot;</span><br />&quot;It's all good, I think it's gone now.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Interruption over, he turns back to Twilight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;One booping coming right up!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You snort.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight positions herself parallel to the table, again holding her head out for Spike to access.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike stretches his arm as high as it can go, prompting Twilight to lower her head.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Now easier to access, he extends a claw, and...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;......</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight blinks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You and Spike are watching her with bated breath.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;No crossed eyes so far.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She huffs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Nothing.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Damn.</span><br />&quot;If you did this for the reason I think you did, it was a good idea. Shame it didn't work.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight lets out a groan of frustration.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I was hoping the similarity of your hands and claws respectively would lead to a breakthrough.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Knew it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She eyes Spike.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Speaking of, those things are sharp mister.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well I /did/ trim them today.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He admires his handiwork... or clawdiwork.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Whatever.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight is staring at nothing in particular.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She sighs in resignation.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're just as curious as her to know the reason only you, given your current information, can boop ponies with great results.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The thing is, she's taking the lack of progress much harder than you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You don't want her stressing out too much over it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Good thing you have a solution, temporary as it may be.</span><br />&quot;Twilight.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;The disheartened lavender unicorn rotates her head to face you...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Only to meet a finger.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Does it work on sad ponies?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It fucking better.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fortunately your worries are assuaged.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight breaks into a smile. Not long afterwards, she laughs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Seeing her distress fade away like a bad dream makes you grin.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Who cares how this works? You can turn frowns upside down with a simple touch, that's all that matters.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Naah, you still want answers.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight finishes up her giggle session, beaming at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thank you Anonymous, I needed that.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Anytime.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She lets out another sigh, only this one is of contentment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;All this time Spike has been standing next to her, observing with great interest.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He directs his attention to you, clearly excited.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I want a turn, Anon!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight looks down at him.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Please?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're impressed he figured that out from her still-cheerful expression.</span><br />&quot;Sure. Prepare your nose.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He scurries over to you, jutting out his head in preparation.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With practiced precision, you take aim and...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Wow, his scales are much tougher than they appear.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's a sharp contrast to the soft pony noses you've been booping.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike closes his eyes as you touch him, keeping them shut even after your job is finished.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wait patiently for the effects to sink in.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Any second now...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Any second...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike opens his eyes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Uh, I'm not feeling anything.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's eyes widen in shock.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Really?!?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yea...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Huh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That blows.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight, on the other hand, is thrilled.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;This is incredible! That means there are limits! Restrictions! If we figure out who isn't receptive, we can use common factors to work towards finding the 'how' for your ability!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Ability'</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She makes it sound so much cooler than it is.</span><br />&quot;Sounds good.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yea, it's just wonderful...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh fuck, Spike.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The little dragon makes no effort to hide his sullen mood.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;By a stroke of bad luck, he can't experience the same joy his...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What the hell /does/ he see her as?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You'll have to ask him in private.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Point is, he's irked.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You put on your best apologetic expression.</span><br />&quot;Sorry man, I can't do anything about it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike waves a claw dismissively.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I know. It's still lame...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You watch him amble back to his reading spot.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Poor dude.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You turn back to Twilight</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's fidgeting in her seat, fit to burst at any moment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This might be her biggest project yet, and she's dying to get started.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yet her violet eyes are still set on you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You know, I've been doing my best to follow Princess Celestia's advice. It hasn't been easy but I've managed.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What advice?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Then today came along and blew away any chance of sticking to it.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight looks nervous.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous, your ability is a reminder of just how little anypony knows about you. So if you want to, and ONLY if you want to... couldyoupossiblytellmeafewthingsaboutyourself?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight grins uneasily.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;No need to get so worked up, Book Horse.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's right, you've been purposefully silent regarding your history.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Main reason being almost no one asks. Presumably too busy trying to avoid being noticed by you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But Twilight's words make it sound like she was told not to pry you open for information despite wanting to.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Now why would she be advised to do that?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's level-headed and rarely jumps to conclusions. She was the first to recognize you as more than a mysterious beast.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Of course you can tell her about yourself.</span><br />&quot;Twilight, if there's ever anything you want or need to know about me or humans in general-- within reason of course-- just ask.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Giving her a rundown of Hitler probably wouldn't end well.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her fidgeting stops as she stares at you with apprehension.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Are you sure?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Absolutely positive.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You give a thumbs up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight seems to be having a hard time taking it in. She closes her eyes, taking in a deep breath before slowly exhaling.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Thank you Anonymous. I will do my best to moderate the number of inquiries so you aren't overwhelmed.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Moderate'?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just how many questions does she have?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She opens her eyes, smiling warmly.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;There's so much to do; I can't think of where to start!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can help with that.</span><br />&quot;Me first, or the booping?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight brings a hoof to her chin, pondering.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her horn lights up, and this time you can hear the sound of paper rushing towards you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Let's begin with you. Who you are, /what/ you are... mostly the former.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She grins sheepishly.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Guess you'll begin with the basics.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You straighten up a little before you start talking.</span><br />&quot;My name is Anonymous...&quot;<br />-----<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You grab the floating bag, removing the light-blue aura surrounding it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A quick peek inside shows a well-made scarf resting at the bottom.</span><br />&quot;So I'm just dropping this off?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity doesn't look up from her sewing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You should do more than simply leave it at the doorstep. It reflects poorly on me if clients receive sub-par assistance.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You grunt.</span><br />&quot;Yea well, when your clients stop hiding under the window and actually answer the fucking--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity's head shoots up.</span><br />&quot;--...the STUPID DOOR, I have the strangest feeling customer support will improve tenfold.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dumb &quot;no swearing in front of a lady&quot; rule.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She finally swivels around to face you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm certain in due time the residents of Ponyville will warm up to you. They just need time to adjust. I know I did.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yessir, the ponies need a longer adjustment period than the dude dumped straight into a fairy tale.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not that you're completely unfazed; rather you don't shun what you don't know.</span><br />&quot;How much time? You'd think by now everything would be kosher, yet I can count on one hand the number of ponies who talk to me. Stall owners don't count.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's a delicate process, Anonymous dear.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity pauses in thought.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You aren't the first pony to experience these troubles. Everypony was frightened of Zecora until we learned more about her.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Who?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;She's a zebra. Her home is in the Everfree Forest. Even Twilight ended up getting roped into our overblown fears of her.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Zebras are a thing here? Who would've guessed.</span><br />&quot;Eh, ponies learned about me too. Look at how well that worked out.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're referring to the town meeting held once your stay in Ponyville was confirmed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight wanted to pacify any concerns of the public by giving a short introduction of yourself and how you weren't going to eat any of them.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Okay maybe that last part didn't happen, but you know at that time it was a serious thought.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If anything good came out of the event, you still haven't noticed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity is at a loss of what to respond with, if that look means anything.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Well I... Of course...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You raise a hand to silence her.</span><br />&quot;It's alright, it's not your problem. I'm going to deliver this scarf now.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity tries to say a few more words before giving up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Very well. Thank you, Anonymous.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Of course.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can see the conversation had a negative effect on her mood. She's stopped humming to herself as she turns back to her work.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Damn, your intention wasn't to put a damper on the atmosphere. This is why you keep this shit under wraps.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You turn around, making your way to the front door.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just as you reach out to open it, several knocks are heard from the other side.</span><br />&quot;I got it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Said to no one in particular.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Opening the door reveals...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike. A book is secured firmly at his side.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey Anon.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yo. How's it going? Twilight overworking herself?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;From what you know, Book Horse has a tendency to get a little too absorbed in projects of great interest. Last time you were at the library she had a list stretching from wall to wall and then some.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have a feeling she might've gone through a sleepless night or two.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yea, when she's not daydreaming about getting booped again.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...You might need to wean her off of these fingers.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Is Rarity here? I have the book she requested.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yup.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You step to the side, allowing Spike to enter.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Good afternoon, Rarity.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What the hell is up with his voice? Is he trying to make it sound deeper?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Spikey darling, what brings you here?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Spikey'?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You opt not to stick around, swiftly exiting the boutique.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just need to drop this bag off and head back. Easy enough.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You start making your way to the address Rarity provided.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Unsurprisingly, ponies give you a wide berth. The ones too slow to make it look natural do their best to avoid looking at you until you pass.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...On the plus side, you never have to worry about crowds.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You do your best to ignore the stares, instead focusing on the task at hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not that there's much to do.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Since you're a guest in Rarity's place, you felt it natural to offer a hand in her chores, whether it be work in the boutique or picking up household items.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She tried to decline your help at first, but you also brought up everything she made for you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Custom-tailored shirts, pants, boxers (that was a fun discussion), the works.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Turns out she's kinda good at making clothes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you came along, dressed to the toes, it was like a dream come true for her. &quot;The chance to create for someone who regularly wears clothes and switches out for something new each /day/?!?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You swear she orgasmed when you told her that tidbit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Of course all of this was after the initial commotion.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You digress.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thus, Rarity had absolutely no problem with giving you clothing and shelter.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The same couldn't be said for you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A man can't accept all that free shit without paying it back somehow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So with a little begging, you convinced her to give you odd jobs around the boutique.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fix this, replace that, hold this, deliver that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Speaking of deliveries, you're here.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thank you random flashback.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You reach the two-story house, knocking on the door before turning your attention to the nearby window.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This mare is going to push aside the curtains ever so gently, spot your unamused form standing here and instantly move away from the window. Then she'll start praying to whatever deity in hopes that you leave.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's routine at this point.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sure enough, a curious face peeks from behind the window.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Said face fills with horror when it sees you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Said face removes itself in a flash.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Might as well just leave the bag here and head back. Not like anyone is going to steal it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You bend down to place the bag directly in front of the door.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's at this moment you hear the door handle shift, and the door creeks open.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;From behind it a head cautiously pokes out, revealing a light-rose pegasus.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She says nothing, staring at your lowered head.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You don't want to scare her off so you remain frozen in place.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A minute goes by.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Is she okay?</span><br />&quot;Are you Ms. Meadow Flower?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;That seems to wake her up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She faintly nods, her light-gold mane bobbing with her.</span><br />&quot;The scarf you sent in to Rarity has been repaired. It's in here.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You hold out the bag.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She stares at it for a few seconds before slowly reaching to take it with a foreleg.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Easy now, Anon... Don't make any sudden movements.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're careful to avoid touching her as she grabs the straps. When the bag is securely with her you release it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She lets go of a strap, looking inside at the scarf.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ms. Flower must be satisfied because she looks back to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Thank you.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;......</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Did she just...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Did she actually...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Say something back, you idiot!</span><br />&quot;Yea.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Smooth.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Meadow Flower must have no issue with your response because she nods once before fading back behind the door, closing it with a thud.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You straighten up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Holy shit, someone actually answered the door.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Even better, they thanked you!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You start your return trip to the boutique.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe things are beginning to turn around for you.</span><br /><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You find no signs of Spike as you pass by Rarity.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I presume everything went swimmingly?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Even better. Ms. Flower actually /thanked/ me. Crazy, I know.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You sit down on a nearby couch that's too low to the ground for your taste.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just like every seat in Ponyville.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity is frowning.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Has /nopony/ ever shown appreciation for you?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Until today. What, did you think I was lying about their reactions?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Goodness no! I... may have thought you were exaggerating just a teensy bit, but I never expected such rudeness from ponies!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You shrug.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Back on Earth you'd be furious at being treated like this, but having small talking horses do it only makes you feel empty inside.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After all, /you/ are the odd one out.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, just know that there's one more mare who appreciates your work.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity brings a hoof to her chest, smiling at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't help but return it.</span><br />&quot;You charmer, you.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She returns to her project, leaving you to contemplate the mysteries of the universe.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For starters, are you even /in/ the same universe as Earth?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;An unknown period of time goes by as you let your mind wander.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With all forms of electronic entertainment gone, you've gotten quite good at day-dreaming.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For instance, you need to check out that Everfree Forest Rarity and Rainbow Dash mentioned. There's countless miles of terrain to explore here yet you haven't left the boundaries of Ponyville.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Movement ahead snaps you out of your thoughts.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity has stopped sewing and has adjusted herself to face you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous...&quot;</span><br />&quot;Hmmm?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's looking at you intently. Does she want something?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;When you left, Spike and I had a little chat. Nothing more than a polite how-do-you-do and inquiry into his and Twilight's recent activities.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Okay...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Aw fuck, does she want to vent her troubles onto you? Women...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;He mentioned something... intriguing, to say the least. Something you and Twilight only recently discovered?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Something you and Book Horse only recently--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh.</span><br />&quot;What, the booping?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity fakes a small cough.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Err yes, the 'booping'. Such a concept sounds... well, absurd--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's not wrong.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;--but if my friends say it works, who am I to argue?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Looks like someone isn't a believer.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You raise a finger ominously.</span><br />&quot;Would you care for a sample?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Uhhh....&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity stares at your hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can see a mixture of curiosity, desire, and hesitance dancing across her face.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You won't push it. Either she accepts or--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...oh what the hay. One try won't hurt.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sweet.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Before you can get up, she's already out her seat and making her way to the couch.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She climbs up on the soft seating, parking herself right next to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's nothing more than a simple touch of the nose?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's dubious, understandably.</span><br />&quot;Yup. Don't move.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity stays perfectly still, only her moderate-azure eyes keeping track of your incoming finger.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Impact in three...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Two...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;One...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;/Never/ gets old.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Similar to Twilight, Rarity's eyes widen in awe.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous darling, this is magnificent! I... I feel as though I could create one hundred new dress designs, each more fabulous than the last!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Little more contained than Book Horse but you're not surprised.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The reaction itself is always positive; how they display that positivity changes with each pony.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Better tell that to Twilight, assuming she hasn't already figured it out.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity laughs, her indigo mane swaying with her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It sounds so... /posh/, like she's a pony of the highest class.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Then again, she does carry herself as such.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You have a remarkable talent! Think of all the ponies you could help, all with a single touch!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not like you haven't thought about that.</span><br />&quot;That would require ponies to trust me.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Who /wouldn't/ trust you after experiencing such a delightful feeling?&quot;</span><br />&quot;I've actually given this some thought, Rarity. I don't want 'boops noses' to be my only redeeming quality.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Everypony has to start somewhere, Anonymous, and I do believe you've been given quite the head start.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br />&quot;I'll keep that in mind.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity appears to have come down from her high. She sighs, glancing down at your hands folded neatly on your lap.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I was not expecting your claw to be so... delicately soft. A good thing, of course.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Time for a shitty crash course in human anatomy.</span><br />&quot;These aren't claws.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You raise your hand.</span><br />&quot;All of this leading down to my wrist--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You use your other hand to gesture.</span><br />&quot;Is called a hand. These four 'claws'--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wiggle your fingers.</span><br />&quot;--are called fingers. Singular is finger. This short digit off to the side--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You give a thumbs up.</span><br />&quot;--is called a thumb.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're surprised to see Rarity this engrossed in your lesson.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hand, finger, thumb. Got it.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yea, humans don't have claws. Instead we've been gifted the Ninety-nine Cent Store rip-off more commonly known as nails.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You rotate your hand so the back faces her, directing her attention to the top of your fingers.</span><br />&quot;So while we have something semi-sharp and hard to tear whatever with--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You flip your hand over.</span><br />&quot;--the front side is soft.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You reach out to lightly press against Rarity's shoulder.</span><br />&quot;See?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You hope she doesn't mind the extended contact. You want her to retain this information, not go back to cloud nine.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes are trained on your hand as it reaches her, yet she doesn't flinch when you touch her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Unfortunately, not even a second goes by before she gasps sharply.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You waste no time extracting your hand.</span><br />&quot;I... I should've asked first. Sorry.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just because she's one of the few ponies who gives you the time of day doesn't mean ALL boundaries go out the window, retard.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You watch Rarity for any reaction.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's unmoving, staring at the spot where you touched her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You silently face forward, hoping she snaps out of it soon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She doesn't sound infuriated, at the very least.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You begrudgingly look back at her.</span><br />&quot;Yes?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's no longer glued to her shoulder. Instead she's eyeing you with...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Interest?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Could you... by any chance... do that again?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What.</span><br />&quot;What.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Your hand. It was... soothing.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Soothing'?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Whatever, just oblige the lady.</span><br />&quot;Sure.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You reach back to Rarity's shoulder, again placing you hand flat against her coat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;/Damn/ she is soft.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have to resist a near-overpowering urge to stroke her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is the first time you've had extended contact with anyone outside of a handshake with Twilight, which hardly counts.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your hand has quickly gone numb from fighting to keep it still, so you flex your fingers once to breathe some life back into them.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That sparks a reaction from Rarity.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She tenses up, emitting another gasp.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Acting on instinct, you remove your hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;NO!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You flinch at the abrupt outburst.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Evidently she wasn't expecting it either, because she hastily attempts to correct herself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I mean, don't! Please, that was such a... exquisite sensation!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just by touching her?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...You must have special hands.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity shifts herself so her side isn't as close to the back of the couch.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Third time's the charm, yes?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Once again you find your hand pressed against her indescribably soft coat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She definitely likes this, but it's on a much smaller scale compared--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Try moving your... hand.&quot;</span><br />&quot;What, like rubbing your shoulder?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes yes, whatever you want to call it.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Alright.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You begin a small circling motion, enjoying how her coat tickles your palm.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity already liked it before, but your hand's movement is having quite the effect on her now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes are closed and she's actually leaning a little into your hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Such gentleness. Have you ever worked as a masseur?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Nah.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;This would hardly count as a massage. It's more like...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Don't say it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash is an exception, Anon. Rarity /will/ eat you alive.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Would you mind servicing my back? It can become sore after a long day.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're no master masseur, but if she enjoys it...</span><br />&quot;Yea, no problem.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She wordlessly lowers herself to stretch across the remainder of the seat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You start on her back, only this time you perform back-and-forth motions.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...She looks like she could melt into the couch if she tried.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity's head rests on her crossed forelegs. The best way to describe her facial expression would be one of pure bliss.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You know you made a joke comparison between Rainbow Dash and dogs a few days ago, but seriously.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not that you're complaining. Are all ponies this soft?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You spend the next several minutes giving Rarity a proper pet-- massage.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;At this point you think she might have actually fallen asleep. She's completely unmoving.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You cease your movements; it only takes a few seconds to get an answer.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity's eyelids flutter open, azure eyes trying to focus.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Mmmm... Thank you, darling.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She makes no effort to sit up, instead adjusting her head to face you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fuck man, you want what these ponies are having.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I suppose it WOULD be selfish of me to expect such ministrations to last forever. Not even a spa visit has left me feeling so... relaxed.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She sighs in contentment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;If only I knew of your talents sooner!&quot;</span><br />&quot;Shit man, /I'm/ just now learning about them!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;A faint ear-spasm is her only reaction to your foul language.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yup, she's all buttered up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Time to add another mark under what-in-the-fuck-is-going-on-even.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not only are you able to light up ponies day with a nose boop, apparently you can induce a near-coma state just by petting them.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're /seriously/ questioning if you didn't gain some superpowers upon arrival.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe you can shoot laser beams if you make a finger pistol?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nope.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Let's hope Rarity didn't see that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your hands are nothing special to you, but you swear they were designed to bring pleasure to these small horses.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Absolutely ridiculous.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous dear, could you do something for me?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You turn your attention back to her.</span><br />&quot;What's up?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She sticks her nose up... literally.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I would take great delight in receiving another... 'boop' as you call it.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;From booping to petting and back to booping.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can easily sniff out a potential addict when you see one.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Holy shit, are your hands a drug to ponies?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That would explain EVERYTHING.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That would also be INCREDIBLY fucking stupid.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Still can't leave it out.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Anonymous?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh right.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ah well, no harm in another one.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's the addict, not Rarity.</span><br />&quot;Of course.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Up goes a finger.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Let's add a little flair to this one.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You twirl your finger dramatically, and...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br />-----<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'You're welcome.'</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Those two words repeat in your head like a scratched record as you search for a suitable table to enjoy your smoothie.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;From a short nod of the head to a verbal response. That cashier really stepped up her game since your last visit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If this keeps up, someone might even say 'hello' to you!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You park your rear at a table for two, making sure to turn the seat away from the other ponies there.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Although you can't see it, you can feel their stares boring into your back.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Taking a sip of your drink, you idly watch the slow hustle and bustle of Ponyville.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's like everyone knows each other. Ponies frequently wave to others and greet by name.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Meanwhile you can list like seven at the most.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You don't need to be greeted by name. You're perfectly fine with 'hello'.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;See, that cashier knew what's up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You continue your smoothie assault... until something feels off.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yea, it's definitely not your imagination.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Most of the ponies near you have stopped talking.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What little conversation you hear is whispered.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You swear you also notice the chatter of passing ponies die out as they approach your general area.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Don't be rude, Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe something else is making them go quiet.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Maybe you're doing a piss-poor job of convincing yourself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ugh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The tiny buzz you were riding from the cashier's politeness has vanished, replaced by the oh-so-familiar feeling of emptiness.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Being shunned by multicolored talking horses shouldn't make you feel this way.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Honestly, what were you thinking?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As if you could realistically pop a squat in the center of Ponyville without attracting attention.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The bad kind of attention.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Time to blow this popsicle stand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But where will you go?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You could always visit the Everfree Forest. That's still on your to-do list.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...No.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What you want right now is a conversation.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A normal, back-and-forth conversation between two individuals.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight does not fit that bill, seeing as she's still hung up on the booping and your history.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're starting to understand why the princess strongly suggested for Book Horse to put a cork in the questions.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Once she gets going...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe Skittles is available. Sure she has a tendency to focus on herself but you can at least exchange banter.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yea, you'll find her. Wherever she is.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Mister Anonymous?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Huh?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You turn to the voice in question.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Standing before you is an earth pony mare. Her light opal-ish coat clashes surprisingly well with her brilliant cerise mane.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's clear she's nervous but she hides it well... or at least better than most other ponies.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her stance is casual; the biggest tell is the distance she keeps between you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just enough to book it at a moment's notice, but not too far as to appear rude.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Impressive.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can see her pupils contract a teensy bit when you make eye contact, yet she doesn't budge.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This one is brave.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You'll take nervous-yet-approaching ponies over non-approaching ones.</span><br />&quot;That's me. Can I help you?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;My name is Ruby Splash. I'm here because of Rarity.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Now you're curious. What did Rarity tell this mare to do?</span><br />&quot;Okay...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We were talking yesterday and she mentioned how you have a special talent called... 'boops'? Booping?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh for fuck's sake.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You'd love to know how they ended up on that topic in the first place.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In hindsight you should've seen this coming.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With all the gossip she feeds to you (whether you like it or not), it only makes sense Rarity would blab.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;How many ponies did she tell?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Not that it matters.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're surprised whenever anyone musters up the courage to talk to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The chance of a pony letting you /touch/ them?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So yea, there's nothing to get worked up over.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...I should go.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ruby is taking a few steps backwards, eyes never leaving you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You lean forward a bit.</span><br />&quot;Wait.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She stops on a dime, frozen in her retreating pose.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't help but chuckle at the comical sight.</span><br />&quot;Yes, apparently I have a talent for touching noses, among other things.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Heh.</span><br />&quot;How come?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ruby stands straight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well... I was, um, wondering if... uhh... you...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You swear there's beads of sweat rolling down her head.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She was doing so well earlier. What gives?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Whoops.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You break your gaze from her, instead taking extreme interest in a patch of dirt near her hooves.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That does the trick.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...you could... if you don't mind... uhm... &quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have a good premonition of where this is going but you want her to say it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...couldyoutryboopingme?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There we go.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Wow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Either the denizens of Ponyville are warming up to you faster than you thought, or Ruby here has a Cutie Mark specializing in taking risks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not that there's any risk with you. Of course they don't think that, but whatever.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well if the residents are starting to like you more, they have a funny way of showing it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...You're going off track now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's a pressing issue at hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Do you?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Do you boop Ruby Splash?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is exactly what you didn't want to happen when your talents got revealed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ponies only interested in the booping, not you as a person.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe you're selfish, but you don't want to be liked solely for one thing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;On the other hand...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If you don't boop her, Ruby leaves a disappointed mare. Technically not your problem.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Except what if she relays her experience to other ponies?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Shit, it's not even a matter of 'what if', it's a matter of 'when'.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She tells them you're a big meanie head, which will only push you further away from any sort of acceptance.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;God dammit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Damned if you do, damned if you don't.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In these situations, the only choice is the lesser of two evils.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You sigh.</span><br />&quot;Sure.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ruby gasps, taking in a deep lungful of air before panting.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The fuck?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Was she holding her breath this entire time?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Once her breathing has stabilized she looks back to you, the weight of your answer sinking in.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Great!... Uhm, so is there anything I need to... do?&quot;</span><br />&quot;I need you to step closer so I can reach you.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Okay...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ruby begins to cover the short distance between the pair of you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her prior standing point must've been a comfort zone, because you can see her legs shaking as she approaches.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Or maybe she's antsy for the main event, who knows?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Keep dreaming, Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ruby comes to a stop right in front of you. She audibly gulps, which you ignore.</span><br />&quot;Don't move.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have a feeling she couldn't move even if she wanted to.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Better not half-ass this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Is there even a way to half-ass it? Maybe brush her nose instead of pressing it?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You raise a hand slowly so she can clearly see what you're about to do.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes track your approaching finger, pupils contracting with each inch covered.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fear not, Ruby, you'll be gentle.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She stopped breathing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Again.</span><br />&quot;Breathe.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Good.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're pleased to see her respond the same as everyone else you booped.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;These hands don't discriminate.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Wow! It's... how... WOW!!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You grin.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Hard to remain moody with a reaction like that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;This is wonderful! I... I need to thank Rarity for telling me about this!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ruby finally directs her attention to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thank you Mister Anonymous! You're amazing!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your heart lurches.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't find the words to accurately describe just how much that compliment means to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That is undoubtedly the boop speaking for her but you appreciate the gesture all the same.</span><br />&quot;Happy to help.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;With a jump in her step, Ruby Splash twirls around and prances away. You can hear a small tune coming from her as well.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That felt nice. More than nice.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe she'll tell her friends about the nice human and others will start liking you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Waitshitno.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's exactly what you DON'T want.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ponies acknowledging your hands instead of you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ugh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Perhaps you're overthinking this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're not dealing with dumb animals. These ponies are no different than humans in regards to thoughts and feelings.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Surely they can look beyond your talent and see the real you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can give this proper thought another time. At the moment you just want to finish your smoothie.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You bring the straw to your lips...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...and stop.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ponies are looking at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ponies are /staring/ at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ponies have stopped going about their day and are instead choosing to gawk at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You turn in your seat to check behind you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Yup, no difference there.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This goes beyond the &quot;polite&quot; stares you receive when they think you don't know.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is the highest degree of blatancy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;How long have they been doing this?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh fuck.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;All of them saw your little stunt with Ruby Splash, didn't they.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Can't a man boop a mare in public without being judged?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You didn't assault her, so hopefully they don't jump to the worst conclusions.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In fact her cheerful gait should help prove otherwise.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Alright, this is getting tiring.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're relieved to see no angry faces anywhere but it's not exactly admiration they're giving you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Best to slink away until they forget about it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You reluctantly rise from your chair, taking a moment to stretch.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Time to find Rainbow Dash.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Probably still sleeping, the lazy fuck.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You keep your gaze straight ahead as you forge a path away from the area.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In your peripheral vision you can see ponies finally starting to continue about their day.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Took long enough.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Mister Anonymous?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Are you hearing things?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Did someone call you for the second time today?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A new record!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Also wow, you didn't expect ponies to remember your name.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You turn around to find an earth pony stallion looking up at you. Trepidation practically oozes from him, his brown mane shaking a hefty amount.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He's trying though. You have to give him top marks for that.</span><br />&quot;Is there anything I can help you with?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Seeing as how he had to get your attention he's already standing somewhat close to you, making your height difference even more noticeable.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe that's why he's a jittery wreck.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes... I-- I was watching y-- I noticed you, uh, were talking to-- to Ruby! Ruby Splash, yes?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You nod.</span><br />&quot;Yes.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;This might take a while.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Right! And I couldn't... help but-- but take interest in your, uhm, meeting... NOT THAT I WAS STARING.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He lets out a shaky laugh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Just passing by, that's all!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;So it surprised me to-- to see Ruby in such an overjoyed state... Because you touched her, not because she was talking to you!... Not that's there's anything wrong with touching... her.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Awful wording aside, you desperately wish he would get to the point already.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes, so uhm... I'm really curious to know more about this-- this 'booping' as she called it?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fucking FINALLY.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Wait a second, was he eavesdropping as well?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nosy bastard.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Alright, how do you explain this without sounding mental?</span><br />&quot;It's very simple. I touch someone's nose and it feels good.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's really no other way to put it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...That's it?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's a hint of disbelief poking through.</span><br />&quot;Yup. No tricks or anything of the sort.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;The stallion shifts around on his hooves and you catch a peek of his Cutie Mark. Three horseshoes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have no clue what that symbolizes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After a few seconds of silence he speaks up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Could I-- if you don't mind of course-- possibly maybe experience it for myself? The booping, that is.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;First Ruby, now this guy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Curious little buggers aren't they.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Today is a good day...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For all the wrong reasons.</span><br />&quot;Yea...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Great! So, uhm, I'll just stand here...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You guide your free hand towards the goal: his nose.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As it approaches him, he leans back further and further until it's a miracle he hasn't fallen over.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You raise an eyebrow.</span><br />&quot;Please stay still.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Okay.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;His voice is a whisper.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You crack a smile.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't help it, their excitement is infectious.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I feel refreshed! Better than a good night's sleep, or a midday nap!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He focuses on you again.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;HOW do you do it?!? It can't possibly be nothing more than touching your nose!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He brings a hoof up to press his nose, probably hoping for similar results.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;No point in lying, it won't look good on you.</span><br />&quot;Like I said, there are no tricks whatsoever. From the looks of it, only I can do it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That sounds absurd!&quot;</span><br />&quot;I /know/. Go try it on someone else, you'll see.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;He shakes his head, chuckling softly.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Looks like the major effect wore off.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, trick or not, it's an incredible feeling. Thanks, Mister Anonymous.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Any trace of nerves he had before is gone; he's talking to you like any normal person would.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Once again undoubtedly the effects of the booping.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Still feels great.</span><br />&quot;Anytime.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;He smiles. A genuine smile.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I may hold you to that.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Shit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The stallion raises a hoof in farewell before walking past you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You never had someone wave goodbye.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You need to give this booping business some serious thought.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not now. Later.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you're alone and not being ogled by everyone.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;AGAIN.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Can't a man boop a stallion in public without being judged?</span><br />-----<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This punch is pretty good.</span><br />&quot;You want some, Twilight?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse pauses from her feathery assault on the bookshelf to look at you. When she sees your offering, she frantically shakes her head.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No time!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You tried.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You ladle some more into your cup before heading back to your seat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;At your place of comfort, you take in the sight before you for the millionth time.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight is doing some last minute tidying of the library before Princess Celestia arrives to size you up and make sure you aren't secretly planning the downfall of Equestria.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Of course she didn't explicitly say that but come on, why else would a monarch visit you?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've seen a picture of her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rainbow mane, taller than other ponies, wings AND a horn?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She just screams 'leader'.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight assuaged any reservations you had of meeting Celestia. Supposedly she's really nice.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You hope so.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thus here you sit, watching Book Horse run around like a chicken with its head cut off.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not like you haven't tried to calm her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Aren't /you/ supposed to be the anxious one right now?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Twilight, don't you think we've cleaned enough? Princess Celestia will be here any minute!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Poor Spike has been subject to Twilight's possible-OCD. He wears an apron slightly too long for him as he sweeps.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He's been standing in that spot for the past thirty minutes and Twilight still hasn't noticed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That's exactly WHY we haven't cleaned enough!... You missed a spot!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight whirls around, yanking the broom out of his grasp in a purple aura. She proceeds to...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Tidy up the same place he was sweeping.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sheesh, the princess really brings out the maniac in Book Horse.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We've been at this for two hours! Two! Didn't we clean yesterday to avoid this?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yea, you made me come here two hours early.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't help but back Spike up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight continues to sweep the life out of the floor.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Sorry guys, but there's nothing wrong with a small change of plans to make sure everything goes right.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Good god, she's a monster.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She needs to be stopped for the sake of humanity.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Or ponykind?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Regardless, this is where you come in.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A boop should calm her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Actually no. You have a better solution.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sure you've only gotten results from one mare, but you'll be incredibly surprised if it doesn't work.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;/Especially/ on someone like Twilight who has no qualms with spending the rest of her life getting her nose pressed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You stand up, ambling slowly towards the lavender unicorn still engrossed in sweeping.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her tongue sticks out the side of her mouth as she zeros in on non-existent dust.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike watches with interest as you crouch down to meet Twilight at head height.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's only now she notices the human beside her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Do you need annnn...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's voice dies in her throat when your hand makes contact with her back.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Now just add a little movement, and...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Less than a minute later, Twilight is resting comfortably on the floor as you service her withers.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her coat isn't as velvety as Rarity's but she's just as warm.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She tried to put up a fight in the form of asking how the hell you can do this. Sadly she never got past 'how'.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Is this another one of your abilities?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Apparently.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike sighs in resignation.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Why do I already know it won't work on me?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's impossible to mistake the look he's giving Twilight for anything other than envy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're willing to test it out on him but you have a sinking feeling he's right.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Poor, poor Spike.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;His only mistake was not being a pony.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse takes no notice of her assistant's woes, instead continuing to stare dreamily into space. An ear flicks every so often.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Reminds you of a cat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ponies are one-half dog, one-half cat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It all makes sense now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Uhh, Twilight? Shouldn't you, oh I dunno, prepare yourself to greet Princess Celestia?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's okay Spike... Everything is okay.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's achieved complete tranquility.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Holy shit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It hasn't dawned on you until now just how powerful your hands are.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If they can pacify someone like panic-mode Twilight...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've been gifted a great responsibility.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;To use your powers for good or evil, the choice is yours.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Entire nations could crumble at the touch of a mane.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Perhaps you could even wrest the throne from Princess Celestia herself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She would beg for mercy, calling you a monster as you gently stroked her side, whispering that it would all be over soon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You snicker.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is incredibly stupid.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fun and stupid.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike rolls his eyes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He can't read minds... right?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Suddenly there's a knock at the door.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'll get it!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike heads off, leaving you and Twilight alone.</span><br />&quot;You have to get up. How would your princess feel if she saw you like this?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Happy... Please don't stop.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Now it's your turn to roll your eyes.</span><br />&quot;There's this thing called 'moderation', y'know. You'll eventually get sick of this if you let it go on for too long.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Doubt it.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;God dammit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Approaching footsteps (hoofsteps?) remind you to expect company.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Twilight Sparkle?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Who's Twilight Sparkle? You only know of Twilight Sprinkles.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You look up from the comatose mare.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Standing not far from you is...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Princess Celestia?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The pegacorn ('alicorn' makes no sense, c'mon) before you looks /nothing/ like the picture Twilight showed you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For starters, this one is dark blue, a stark contrast to the EXTREMELY light-pink mare you expected.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her mane is not a rainbow; instead a sapphire blue.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It also moves.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her mane is moving, waving like it's been caught in a light breeze. Your scrutiny also lets you make out the odd blinking point on it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It reminds you of the night sky.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Finishing off your examination, she wears black regalia in the form of a necklace and crown. Her necklace bears an imprint of a crescent moon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is most certainly not the sun princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight needs to work on her photography or something, 'cuz she fucked up /big time/.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Princess Luna?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Who?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Princess Luna' is currently giving you the same expression of perplexity you feel.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight never mentioned this pegacorn.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Does that mean Equestria is under a diarchy?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna slowly directs her gaze to Twilight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The same Twilight you've been petting into submission for the past few minutes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh shit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You withdraw your hand faster than a horny teen caught jerkin' the gherkin.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So fast, you smack yourself on the side.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ow...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You say nothing, opting to let royalty speak first.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Greetings friends, and Our sincerest apologies for the confusion. Sister had an emergency meeting to attend, leaving Us to fill her spot.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Us'?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight must still be recovering, because she remains firmly rooted to her spot.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's good to see you again, Princess Luna. Don't worry about the mistake. Today is too nice of a day to worry about those things.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna gives Twilight an odd look before facing you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Get off your ass, Anon! Show some respect!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You rise to your full height.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Princess Luna is undoubtedly taller than other ponies but she still falls quite short when compared to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You still aren't sure if you should say anything or--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous. It is a pleasure to finally meet beyond the Realm of Dreams.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br />&quot;What.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've always been good at first impressions.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Realm of Dreams'? What the hell is that?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have definitely never seen this pony before.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna isn't phased by your ignorance.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We are eager to converse under more... stable conditions. Your dreams can become interesting, to say the least.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br />&quot;What?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;What the hell is she talking about? What do your dreams have to do with anything?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Princess Luna's calm exterior cracks, showing a hint of annoyance.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Did We not make ourselves clear? Must We repeat ourselves?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Who the FUCK is 'we'???</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You feel like you're losing it.</span><br />&quot;We've never met! EVER!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;At least your volume isn't overkill.</span><br />&quot;And I don't know what the hell my dreams have to do with anything.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna is bewildered, to say the least. She looks at you like /you're/ the one in the wrong.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thou do not recall any of our exchanges?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You shake your head in frustration.</span><br />&quot;We. Have. Never. Met. Maybe you've mistaken me for someone... else.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh. Right.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thy name is Anonymous, correct? The only hue-mun in Equestria?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What happened to her speech? Why is she throwing in bits of ye-olde-English all of a sudden?</span><br />&quot;Yes, that is my name.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Then We are most certainly not mistaken. Thy dreams are like no other pony's.&quot;</span><br />&quot;What's so special about my dreams? You keep mentioning them.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're going insane with the lack of critical information being fed to you. How you haven't jumped out a window yet is beyond you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Is that not where thou was first introduced to Us?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Stay calm, Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've gone this long without having a mental breakdown.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Surely you can go another few weeks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Deep breaths.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Remember, this is Ponyland.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;They have magic and mythical creatures.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For fuck's sake, YOU might as well be magical with your newfound 'powers'.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Anything is possible here.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...You okay Anon?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike's voice brings you back to reality.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He's standing to the side, halfway between you and the Princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You let out a deep breath.</span><br />&quot;Yea.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You gaze deeply into Luna's moderate cyan eyes, hoping to hell your next words get through to her.</span><br />&quot;I'm sorry Princess Luna. I have absolutely no recollection of meeting you, anywhere.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna stares back with an intensity that would make a lying man squirm.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Eventually she responds.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Very well Anonymous. We have little reason to think thou would mislead Us. Perhaps the Dream Realm plays a different role in hue-muns.&quot;</span><br />&quot;'Dream Realm'?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes. Do hue-muns not experience a dream state?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yea, but I almost never remember any of mine. Most people don't.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Princess Luna's expression falls flat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thou... hath never recalled a dream before?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Rarely. The memory fades quickly after waking up.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Princess Luna looks away in thought.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Of course...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When she faces you again, there's a small smile on her face.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;A thousand pardons, Anonymous. It was foalish of Us to act on assumptions.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wave a hand dismissively.</span><br />&quot;It's all good.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Then We suppose a proper greeting is in order.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna's wings extends as she begins to speak, giving an impressive show.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We are Princess Luna, Guardian of the Night, sister to the Princess of the Sun. It is a pleasure to meet you.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She takes a short bow, which you return afterwards.</span><br />&quot;I'm Anonymous.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wish you had a cool moniker.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's an honor to meet you.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Hold the fuck up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You glance down to Twilight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's finally recovered from your session and is sitting up straight, eyes set on the princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She must feel your gaze burning a hole in her head, because she looks up at you.</span><br />&quot;Why did you NOT tell me there was another princess???&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Mild surprise.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Of course I did!... Right?&quot;</span><br />&quot;NO! If you had, this entire situation could've been avoided!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse is rapidly sorting through her memory banks to see if you're wrong.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Obviously you're not, and she shakes her head.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm terribly sorry, Anonymous. I don't know how such a huge detail could've gone unspoken.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's taking it quite well. Must be because of the petting.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You roll your eyes, turning back to Princess Luna who is watching Twilight with great interest.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If you had to take a guess, you'd say she isn't thrilled with Twilight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wouldn't be either. How did you manage to go this long without learning about Luna?</span><br />&quot;It's alright. Mistakes were made, we learn and move on.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We must say, Anonymous, the manner in which you now carry yourself is a delightful contrast to what We have come to expect.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her outdated speech is gone now, yet she keeps saying 'we'. Who is 'we'?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's also weird that she knows you and your mannerisms through... dreaming.</span><br />&quot;First impressions are important.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We recall our first introduction was met with, and We quote, 'Who the fuck are you?' You later explained that the word 'fuck' is highly offensive to humans.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Someone please kill you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's eyes are wide, likely due to shock over having a princess utter such vulgar dialect.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike is staring in awe as though he just discovered his new hero.</span><br />&quot;I, uh... That wasn't /me/ speaking, y'know? I wouldn't... usually say those things.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your voice dies down as the smirk on Princess Luna's face grows.</span><br />&quot;To royalty.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You mumble that last part.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We do not hold ill will towards you; rather, We enjoy your unfiltered view of the world.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Unfiltered... Oh god, what else did I say?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Perhaps We will share another day. In the meantime, We believe there is a suitable table waiting for us?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You /really/ want to know what other unspeakable horrors you divulged to the princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Of course! Right this way.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight stands up, walking past you to the carefully prepared table of various goodies fit for royalty and picky humans.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You gesture for Luna to go ahead.</span><br />&quot;Ladies first.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She walks by, leaving Spike standing by his lonesome.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm not a girl.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You huff in amusement before following Luna.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Let the meeting begin</span><br /><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In hindsight, you should've figured it out yourself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Princess Celestia raises the sun.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's only natural that Princess Luna would raise the moon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well, as natural as moving two celestial bodies.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Don't think about it, Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Remember, Ponyland.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've been conversing with Twilight, Spike, and Luna for some time now. Turns out the Princess of the Night is quite relaxed and easygoing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thank goodness, you can't stand having to heavily watch what you say.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Due to Luna already having knowledge on you it's been an equal-sided discussion, something you've missed over the past week.</span><br />&quot;Does that mean you're nocturnal?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna pauses from nibbling on a cookie.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;In a way, yes. Most of Our hours spent awake are during the night. However, the call to sleep does not affect Us as it does other ponies.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've come to accept her usage of the 'royal We', confusing as it gets.</span><br />&quot;So you don't sleep at all?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;A couple of hours at most.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Cool.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just imagine the things you could get done if you only had to rest for a few hours a day.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna directs her attention to Twilight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Twilight Sparkle, how have your studies been going? Would you like Us to relay a message to Sister upon Our return?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight takes a moment to think.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hmmm... Nothing comes to mind.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike gives Twilight an incredulous look.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Really? You can't think of /anything/ worth mentioning?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He glances at you, then back to Twilight. You, Book Horse, you, Book Horse.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ohhh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You smile.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fortunately Twilight isn't so dense as to miss the obvious implication.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Not yet, Spike. There's countless amounts of testing that still needs to be finished before I can present my findings to Princess Celestia.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Spike grins.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Of course. You've really been enjoying all the 'testing' Anon has done for you... No, /on/ you.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You snort.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Cheeky little dragon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's cheeks darken at his remark.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It can't be helped if the process is enjoyable.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yea, /really/ enjoyable.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You involuntarily let out a small giggle.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;'Testing'? Have you started a new project?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna's interjection saves Spike from the scathing glare of Twilight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse rubs a shoulder with a hoof, still red in the face from embarrassment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes, but... Well, not exactly. It's difficult to explain.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hardly! Anon boops noses and ponies like it, what else is there to it?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If looks could kill...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous does /what/?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight groans.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous, can you please explain to Princess Luna what 'booping' is?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Sure&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You make out Luna quietly mouthing the word to herself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Any reservations you had on explaining it to others has withered away. If they don't believe you, you can just show them.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You quickly relay your discovery to the princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's intrigued, to say the least.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Do hue-muns have magic of their own?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Nope.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No special technique?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Uh-uh.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna ponders this new information.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Fascinating...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You grin, raising a finger.</span><br />&quot;Wanna see it in action? I'm sure Twilight wouldn't mind assisting me with a demonstration.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight glowers at you, the effect ruined by the dark purple dotting her cheeks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I am NOT a guinea pig!&quot;</span><br />&quot;I didn't hear a no...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna interrupts your fun.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Instead of demonstrating on Twilight Sparkle, We would be interested in experiencing this phenomenon for Ourselves.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Oh.</span><br />&quot;Uhm... okay.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna obviously pays attention, because she leans slightly over the table to allow you better access to her nose.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Whenever you are ready, Anonymous.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your still-raised finger is guided towards her awaiting nose.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Shit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Do you even know what you're doing?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're about to boop a princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A princess who enters dreams and raises the goddamn moon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You better not fuck this up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This needs to be the best damn boop you've ever given, and /then/ some.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Relax, Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've trained for this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rainbow Dash, Butterfly, Rarity...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Every single nose you touched was nothing more than a warmup.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This one is for the history books.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well shit, that was anticlimactic.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;On the plus side, you bet Luna has never made THAT face before.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's adorable really.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The Guardian of the Night is adorable.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It only takes a few seconds for the effects to kick in.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna focuses on you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If it weren't for the smile on her face and the sparkle in her eyes, you'd think nothing happened.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's very good at containing her emotions.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;To be expected of a leader, you suppose.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Then she speaks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What exhilaration! Such a rush of excitement and energy... We hath only experienced this joy on the battlefield!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna's wings extend out to their full length as she continues rattling off other events that made her feel this way.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You think you heard 'beating Sister' and 'spider toss' in there.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her verbiage has returned to including ye-olde speak, likely a byproduct of her enthusiasm.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You'd love to know why she does that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...with a final 'huzzah'!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Princess Luna finally regards you with a look of wonder.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thou are truly skilled in the art of booping. We are curious, Anonymous; thou hast other unmentioned abilities?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nah, it's not princess-suitable.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Did you see how Twilight looked when you came in? Anon can also give a really good massage!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The purple dragon deflates a little.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Not that I would know.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You join Twilight in staring daggers at him.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;God dammit, Spike.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fortunately you know Luna has these things called 'standards', seeing as she's a princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thou are a proficient masseur?&quot;</span><br />&quot;No. It's... apparently ponies also like when I... y'know, do that.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna brings a hoof up to her chin.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We are intrigued...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...There's no way, right?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Right.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Because she has standards.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Twilight Sparkle appeared to be in a state of bliss from your ministrations... Would thou care to further demonstrate thy skills?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fuck.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's interested.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Princess Luna has terrible standards.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But wait!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She gave you a choice!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...A &quot;choice&quot;.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Psh, as if you'd say no.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;First of all, she's a princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Secondly, you're not opposed to obliging the lady; it's just the last thing you expected was for a ruler of Equestria to basically ask you to pet her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well, duty calls...</span><br />&quot;If you want.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Good move, Anon. Put the ball back in her court.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Then it is settled. Does thou require We lie down?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Goddammit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight and Spike's facial expression perfectly capture your feelings at this moment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Disbelief, disbelief, and more disbelief.</span><br />&quot;Uhm, I don't think there's any need for that... Although Twilight /was/ sitting when we started.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna waits patiently for you to begin.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're in too deep now. There's no going back.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You rise from your chair, closing the short distance between you two.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The princess opted not to use a seat (much to Twilight's displeasure), instead sitting on a cushion.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thus, you're forced to crouch down, resting beside Luna on one knee.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She says nothing, silently watching your movements.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If you were on edge before...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This isn't just a simple touch of the nose.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That was child's play compared to your current task.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You are about to initiate full-on contact with the Princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have not trained for this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're flying blind.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your hand tentatively reaches out to her dark blue coat...</span><br /><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You'll give Luna credit, she succeeded where other ponies failed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Despite dissolving into nothing more than a blob with wings, she remains upright.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Speaking of wings, they rest unfurled and limp against her side.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes are closed, ears twitching similar to Twilight's.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have no idea what you were expecting but this probably should've been it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You continue your massaging. Luna's coat is extremely soft, nearly identical to Rarity's.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So this is what your life has come to.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your ancestors worked through their blood, sweat, and tears across hundreds, if not thousands of years, to produce you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And what do you do?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You pet a pony princess who controls the moon in a magical land with other magical creatures.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Life is weird.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Now is probably a good time to stop. Luna's gotten more than a 'demonstration' and if Rarity and Book Horse is any indication, you'll never receive a request to let up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You cease your movements, bringing your hand to rest limply at your side.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight and Spike have been watching, the former clearly jealous of the relaxed princess.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It doesn't take long for Luna to boot back up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She opens her eyes, staring into nothing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Eventually she adjusts herself from having been unconsciously leaning on your hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna looks at you with a calm expression.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous, how would you like a position working alongside me?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What.</span><br />&quot;...Doing what?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Suspicion creeps into your tone.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Your skills as a masseur and with... 'booping' have left me deeply impressed. I would love to have your talents around when they are needed.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Holy shit, you pet the 'royal We' out of her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're also trying to figure out how to approach this.</span><br />&quot;I don't know...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna is undeterred by your hesitance.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You will be paid handsomely, of course. All that will be required of you is to administer boops and massages to me as needed. You will called... The Royal Booper!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Only a natural-twenty will keep you from busting a gut laughing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The die shows...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twenty.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thank you, RNGesus.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You adopt a poker face of the Gods.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Being paid for work would be amazing. You could give Rarity proper payment and maybe even move out!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Assuming there's anywhere in Ponyville you could rent/buy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well, what about the working conditions? You wouldn't be surrounded by uneasy Ponyville residents anymore!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Instead you'd deal with uneasy ponies you've never met. Moving doesn't suddenly make everyone friendly to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Besides, from the last few days you think you're becoming a less-fearful sight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You calmly respond to Princess Luna.</span><br />&quot;Exotic as that sounds, I'm not sure I can accept.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna looks at you with curiosity as you speak.</span><br />&quot;For starters, it would be awfully selfish of me to only help one pony.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna huffs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I suppose I could share...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You ignore that.</span><br />&quot;And even if that wasn't the case, Twilight does need me for testing, pleasurable or otherwise.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You smirk at the lavender unicorn, who shoots you another weak glare.</span><br />&quot;So yea... Sorry but I have to decline.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna doesn't say a word, instead staring at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're still parked right beside her so being this close as she scrutinizes you is uncomfortable.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Finally she sighs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Very well, Anonymous. We will not push the matter any further. A shame.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Sorry.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You disappointed her so hard she went back to the 'royal We'.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;There is no reason to apologize. We understand and respect your decision. Just remember--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A dark-blue wing reaches out to wrap around you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;--the offer will always be available.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Damn this is cozy</span><br />&quot;I'll keep that in mind.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luna smiles before releasing her hold on you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You stand up, rubbing your sore knee before hobbling back to your seat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With business back to normal you take a swig of your drink, enjoying the fruity flavor.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This punch really is good.</span><br />-----<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The pegasus stallion before you smiles.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thank you Anonymous!&quot;</span><br />&quot;Anytime.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;He doesn't waste any time unfurling his wings and taking to the sky.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With him out of the way the next pony takes his place, an earth pony stallion.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hello Anonymous! How's it going?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You smile, raising a tired hand.</span><br />&quot;Good. It's been a long day, but good.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;He nods in understanding, not moving an inch.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thank you Anonymous!&quot;</span><br />&quot;Anytime.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;If you lean over to the side you can see the line stretching far, far back.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've been here all day and you swear it hasn't gotten any shorter.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well, that indicates just how much ponies love being booped.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In a little over two weeks you've gone from ponies cautiously approaching you, to the same ones visiting you nearly every day.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After ponies saw your first public display of booping, word spread fast of your talent.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With each passing day, more and more ponies came up to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Of course there was the initial dilemma that was plaguing you: ponies only interested in your hands.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You gave it some serious thought and eventually came to a reasonable conclusion.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity was right.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have to start somewhere.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So here you've been at this bench for the past who-knows-how-many hours, giving delicate nose presses to anyone who wants one.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And good god, there are a LOT of ponies who want one.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've been hungry for some time now, but you're not letting up until everyone is satisfied.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thank you Anonymous!&quot;</span><br />&quot;Anytime&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You continue the arduous task of touching noses, idly wondering when the line will finish.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You didn't even have breakfast.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A familiar pony walks past the line to approach you, breaking your autopilot.</span><br />&quot;Hello again.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Goodness Anonymous, are you /still/ booping ponies?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That better be a rhetorical question, Rarity.</span><br />&quot;Yup.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She looks down the line.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;The line hasn't moved at all since earlier!&quot;</span><br />&quot;Oh it has.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thank you Anonymous!&quot;</span><br />&quot;Anytime.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity looks at you in disbelief.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;How do you plan on servicing every single pony?&quot;</span><br />&quot;One at a time?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity glares at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ask stupid questions...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her annoyance shifts into concern as she gets a better look at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Have you taken a break at all today?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You shake your head, raising a hand to administer another boop.</span><br />&quot;Nope, haven't had any free time.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anon, I understand your desire to, uh, 'help' others--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Does she really?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;--but you shouldn't run yourself ragged in the process.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity once again looks down the queue.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm sure everypony can wait until tomo--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thanks Anonymous! You're the best!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You chuckle.</span><br />&quot;Anytime.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity shoots the offending mare a glare that would vaporize all but the most oblivious of ponies.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...As I was /saying/, I'm sure everypony can wait until tomorrow, when you're well rested.&quot;</span><br />&quot;I'm fine, Rarity. Hungry but otherwise fine.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She gasps.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That's right, you didn't eat breakfast! You've gone the entire day without eating!&quot;</span><br />&quot;I won't collapse just because I missed a few... Wait a second, weren't you here earlier?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're referring to the light-aquamarine unicorn waiting her turn to be booped.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I was! It's worth the wait for a second turn!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She didn't cut in line or anything, so...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She giggles.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thanks again!&quot;</span><br />&quot;Of course.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity waits patiently until the mare trots away. Before the next pony can step up, she walks in front of them.</span><br />&quot;What are you doing?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She pays no mind to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Clearing her throat, she projects her next words loudly to the queue.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Attention everypony! As of this moment, Anonymous is done for the day! He apologizes to anypony who did not get a chance to be booped! Thank you and have a wonderful day!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can hear groans and 'aww's coming from the line, but the ponies reluctantly start to disperse.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity watches her work for a few seconds before turning back to you, a smug smile on her face.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;There, now you can get some food!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You grimace.</span><br />&quot;I'd rather get the respect of this town.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She looks at you like you've suddenly grown three heads.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Have you not noticed lately? Almost everypony is talking about you!... Positive remarks, of course.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're actually not surprised to hear that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Nor are you happy.</span><br />&quot;And what exactly are they saying about me?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity balks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh... you know, how amazing you are... and other things! My memory is a bit fuzzy but I assure you they are all superb!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You knew it was coming.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;No one to blame but yourself.</span><br />&quot;Of course they are. I'm willing to bet that each and every single compliment involves /these/.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You waggle your fingers.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, not ALL of them but... yes, most do tend to gravitate towards your talent.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You sigh, leaning back against the bench.</span><br />&quot;You /know/ that's exactly what I didn't want... At first. Thing is, you were right. I'll take this over the alternative.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity is curious now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Over what?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Not having ponies talk to me or give me the time of day.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's like your sentence hit her over the head. She stares at you, lost for words.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You hope it gets through to her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you arrived here, you figured you'd get over the hushed voices and stares in no time.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nope.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sure you're not dealing with humans, but ponies can act just like 'em.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sure there are a few ponies you casually converse with, but that doesn't solve the big problem.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're not going to speak it; mainly because of your stupid pride and also because you don't want to look like a little bitch.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But you hope she understands now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You just want to be accepted.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And if it means being acknowledged for the wrong reasons, then so be it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity shifts on her hooves, a somber expression on her face.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...I'm sorry Anonymous.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What the /hell/ could she apologize for?</span><br />&quot;For what?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;This is not the first time you've brought up these grievances. Twilight and I were hesitant to intervene because she was hoping everypony merely needed time to adjust... I told you of Zecora, yes?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You nod.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We came to a conclusion: if Ponyville could befriend Zecora after a rocky start, surely they could do so again with you. Unfortunately, that did not go as planned. You're just too...&quot;</span><br />&quot;Alien.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity winces.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I was thinking more along the line of 'unique'. The closest other... being you resemble is a minotaur and most of Ponyville's citizens have never seen one.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh right, minotaurs are a thing here.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous, I offer my sincerest apologizes for not listening to you sooner. You ARE a citizen of Ponyville and you deserve to be treated like one.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Uhhh...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You drum your fingers.</span><br />&quot;Yea... Thanks for the apology but there's nothing to apologize /for/. You didn't do anything wrong. You can't change human nature... Pony nature... how pony's react. You get what I mean.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No, I suppose we cannot. However, what we CAN change is their opinion of you.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Another waggle of your fingers.</span><br />&quot;That's what these are for.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No Anonymous, you were right. There is much more to you than booping and Ponyville needs to know that!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity scrunches her face in thought.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Suddenly her face lights up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I do believe now is the perfect time for such an event! Anonymous, booping ponies may have worked out better than we thought!&quot;</span><br />&quot;Event? What event?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity grins.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Why, a party of course!&quot;</span><br />-----<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You watch the Spa Sisters walk away, their excitement hard to contain.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have to admit, it was a smart business decision to seek you out.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Their first request of charging for boops was declined. There's no way in hell you're making ponies pay for that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Luckily for them that's not the only thing you're capable of.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So after a &quot;brief&quot; demonstration, they were all too eager to acquire you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're getting paid to pet ponies. What's not to love?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It can barely be considered &quot;work&quot;, making this a win-win situation.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can start earning your own cash, or &quot;bits&quot; as they're called. Odd jobs certainly aren't enough to pay Rarity back.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;From your seat in front of the Town Hall you take a bite of another godly cupcake.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You don't know how many you ate today and you don't want to know.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Pinkie should be around here somewhere. You need to find her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Based off of the turnout and general mood, you'd say today's party was a huge success.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Turns out Pinkie wanted to do this the same week your stay was confirmed but Twilight advised against it, wanting to instead ease you in.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You actually agree with her decision.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A party so soon for something no one has ever seen before would probably not end well.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But now...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rarity explained to you that with the town being much more welcoming of you (thanks to your booping), they would be less averse to learning about you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And she was one-hundred percent correct.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The 'Welcome to Ponyville, Anon!' Party started off with something you weren't exactly comfortable with.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A good ol' Q&amp;A.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You just wanted ponies to be less wary of you. The town doesn't need your goddamn life story.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You voiced your complaint of &quot;Twilight can just tell them about me&quot;, only to be shut down.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your pony pals wanted YOU to ease whatever concerns or curiosity ponies have.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;And boy there were a LOT.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Why are your claws so soft?'</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Why do you wear clothes?'</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Are you sure you don't use magic?'</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Your eyes are so small!'</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Do you have a Cutie Mark in booping?'</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;All the questions they kept to themselves came rushing out over the course of two hours.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You'll admit you ended up enjoying it. Although the focus was on you, it felt like one big group discussion.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Afterwards, Twilight gave a little speech on accepting you as a citizen of Ponyville along with telling them to remember that you're more than just a boop machine.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Hardly the mare to talk, but whatever.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You could see a few sheepish glances made towards you when she said that remark.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nothing surprising.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With the main event out of the way, it turned into a regular party. Refreshments, music, games, the works.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You were hoping the Q&amp;A would eventually encourage ponies to approach you for more than just booping.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What you didn't expect was for it to occur on the same /day/.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You swear a switch was flipped in them.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ponies casually approaching you, greeting you as though you've been an acquaintance for years.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Incredible.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So here you sit, watching the party wind down as you polish off a cupcake.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fucking /hell/ these are good.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Have a good day, Anon!&quot;</span><br />&quot;You too!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You give a friendly farewell to a passing unicorn.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Man they're quick to adopt your shortened name.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You hear the front door open but choose not to turn around, instead mourning the loss of your cupcake.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'd say this party turned out to be a success.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You don't have to turn far to see the two mares standing beside you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Well, one is standing. The other is bouncing in place.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Everypony had cookies, cupcakes, and got to know Anon! Of COURSE it was a success!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight directs her attention to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Everything going okay, Anonymous?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You fix yourself so you're properly facing her and Pinkie.</span><br />&quot;Absolutely fantastic. I was actually about to look for you, Pinkie.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Pinkie stops her bouncing before giving you a salute.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Pinkamena Diane Pie reporting for duty! What do you need, Anon?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Holy shit, is that her full name?</span><br />&quot;I need to thank you. Rarity said parties are your specialty and yea, you didn't disappoint to say the least. So... thank you for the party. It was incredible.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Pinkie gives you a blinding smile.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anything to help Ponyville's best human--&quot;</span><br />&quot;Only human.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;BEST human! I've been waiting /so/ long for a chance to throw you a party! I wanted to the very second you got here but Twilight was all like 'no parties Pinkie Pie, he needs time to adjust' and I was all like 'but a party will help Anon adjust faster!' but then she was like 'you'll get a chance to have a party later' and I was like 'I guess you're right...' and guess what? IT'S 'LATER'!!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your mind is reeling at the variety of emotions she just went through.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;How does she do it?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Apparently Twilight is used to Pinkie's antics because she shakes her head in amusement.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We had to take precautions, Pinkie. You understand that.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well DUUUH, but I was still /really/ sad about it. Everypony deserves a party and now Anon has one!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A burst of confetti suddenly rains down upon the three of you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Pinkie and her Party Cannon...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You brush pieces of scrap paper off your head.</span><br />&quot;Again, I really do appreciate it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Don't worry Anon, no need to thank me! I can see the gratefulness in your eyes.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With that said, she proceeds to lean dangerously close to you until her face is the only thing you can see.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're frozen to the spot as she stares deep into your eyes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's like she's looking into your soul...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yup, right overrrr... there!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She grins.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Surprise hug!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Before you can react, Pinkie reaches out and wraps her forelegs around you, trapping your arms.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't help but lock up as she squeezes you tighter.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight must see the shock on your face because her horn lights up, causing a purple aura to appear around Pinkie.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That only makes her tighten her hold.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;NOT YET! I'm not done with my Welcome-to-Ponyville hug!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight looks to you for your input.</span><br />&quot;It's fine.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Pinkie's forwardness throws you off, mainly because the two of you don't talk much. And by 'much' you mean 'at all'.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yet here she is treating you like a close friend.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You guess that's to be expected of someone whose talent is parties.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With a little difficulty you manage to extract an arm from her grip. Once it's free, you bring it to wrap around her back, returning the hug.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So do pony hugs last longer than human hugs or what.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As if to add to the mystery, you hear Pinkie sigh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Alright, this is downright weird.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's practically resting on you now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You look to Book Horse for assistance, taking occasional peeks at Pinkie to signal what you want.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After a few confused seconds, Twilight nods in understanding.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I think that's enough hugging for today, Pinkie.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The familiar aura appears around Pinkie, slowly dragging her away.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;NOOOOO!!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You lurch forward as Pinkie's iron grip pulls you with her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;/Fucking hell/ she's strong.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With your free arm you reach up to touch the back of her neck, scratching it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just as planned, Pinkie bursts into giggles. Her hold weakens, allowing Twilight to fully pull her off of you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Pinkie is deposited next to Twilight, her giggling fit dying down.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Awwwww. You give /really/ good hugs, Anon!&quot;</span><br />&quot;...Do I?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've never had anyone compliment your hugs. Of course you never hugged much, but that's beside the point.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's an unusual thing to notice, really.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yea, it's like... being wrapped up in a warm blanket on a cold winter day with a snowstorm roaring outside! Oh, and there's a fire in the fireplace!... And you have a mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows in it, but not too many! Two is enough.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That is oddly specific.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Pinkie gasps.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I have a GREAT idea! We should make hugging our special greeting! That way whenever we meet I get a hug, you get a hug, EVERYPONY gets a hug!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Another burst of confetti.</span><br />&quot;Uhh...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Then it's settled! Hugs for everypony!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're at a loss for words now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Another gasp.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I almost forgot! I need to box some cupcakes for Ms. Cheerilee! Bye Twilight, bye Anon! Don't forget our new special greeting!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;See you later.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Bye...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Pinkie bounces back to the Town Hall entrance, leaving you and Twilight alone.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What the fuck just happened?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Is this to be expected upon prolonged exposure to Pinkie?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You need a drink.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;So Anon, about that hug...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You look back to Twilight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's got a glint in her eye.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The same one she gets when she discovers something new.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You don't like where this is going.</span><br />&quot;What about it?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;There may be something more to it than Pinkie being Pinkie.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;More? What more could there possibly be to--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh no.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh god no.</span><br />-----<br /><br />&quot;This is absolutely ridiculous, and I say that with full knowledge of what /these/ babies can do.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You point to each hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ridiculous or not, recent evidence strongly points towards it.&quot;</span><br />&quot;You only have one pony to go off of, and it's Pinkie. PINKIE.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight pauses from her writing to look at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You're right, Anonymous. That's why we're trying it again with a different pony.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your expression falls flat.</span><br />&quot;I know that. Stop avoiding the real problem.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What about Pinkie?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You know she's Twilight's friend, but come on.</span><br />&quot;Are you really gonna make me say it?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Pinkie doesn't exaggerate how she feels. If she really liked your hug, she really liked your hug.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Enough to try and get one out of you every time you see each other.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You roll your eyes.</span><br />&quot;She 'really likes' everything.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;She's also never enjoyed a hug so much she tried to make it the only way of greeting somepony!&quot;</span><br />&quot;Really? That seems like something she would've done by now.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight groans.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous, can you please entertain this idea? If not for yourself, then at least for me?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She finishes that up with a pleading look.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;God you hate when they do that. It should be illegal to pull that on you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Worst part is you can't even tell if she's doing it on purpose, unlike Rainbow Dash who always does so when she wants shit from you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nah, you know Book Horse means well.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Curse you, heart.</span><br />&quot;Fine, Twilight. If science requires that I hug ponies--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You grimace.</span><br />&quot;--then hug ponies I shall.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're not even opposed to testing it out. It's the concept that sounds absurd.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yea. Despite having the ability to make ponies happy and calm with just the touch of a hand, there are /still/ things you deem ridiculous.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The main reason you're dubious is that hugging does not require hands at all. Your other two talents use 'em, but a hug is just close contact.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight beams at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Thank you!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wave a hand dismissively.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When is this test subject going to show up?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Why are you waiting for someone else when there's a perfectly willing recipient sitting not far from you?</span><br />&quot;Can't you try this out yourself?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight stiffens up before sighing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;As much as I would like to, it's better if somepony else takes over.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That didn't actually answer your question.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*THUD*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You flinch as a deafening bang erupts from the library door, the poor piece of wood almost caving inward from whatever struck it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The fuck?</span><br />&quot;I'll get it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You stand up, making your way to the still-vibrating door.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Opening it reveals...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rainbow Dash?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's currently sitting poorly, wings and hind legs sprawled out as her head spins.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You swear her eyes are spinning as well.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's like she came straight out of a cartoon. All that's left are the circling birds.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Did she crash into the door?</span><br />&quot;Are you okay?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Wha?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She sounds waaaaay out of it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're definitely concerned now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If that loud-as-fuck bang was any indication, she hit the door REALLY hard. Concussion-hard.</span><br />&quot;Can you walk?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You watch as Skittles attempts to rise, legs straining to support her weight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With an 'oomph' she tilts over, landing on her side.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Just... give me a minute...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes are still spinning.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;How is she still talking?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fucking hell, stop standing around and help her!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight is smart, she can probably figure out if Dash needs medical attention.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You bend down to take her in your arms, fixing your hold so her head rests behind yours.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Wow, she's surprisingly light.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Once she's secured, you close the door before speed-walking back to Book Horse.</span><br />&quot;I think she hit her head pretty hard.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;To your shock, Twilight is unfazed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Rainbow Dash does that a lot. She just needs time to recover.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yea, time to recover in a fucking hospital.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Has she gone nutters?</span><br />&quot;She couldn't even stand up properly. Where's the hospital again?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous, Dash shakes off injuries like this all the time. Wait a few minutes and you'll see.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Are you mad? How do you shake off a fucking concussion???&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;She doesn't HAVE a concussion!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As if to prove her point, you feel Dash shifting in your arms.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anon... Anon?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She tenses up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;ANON! What are you doing?!? Why are you holding me???&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Talk about zero to one hundred.</span><br />&quot;Are you feeling better?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;YES!!! I'm not a foal, don't treat me like one!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For how pissed off she sounds, you expected a lot more resistance in the form of struggling to break free from your hold.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yet Dash doesn't move an inch.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Does she think you're stronger than her?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;.../Are/ you stronger than her? Stronger than ponies overall?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's something for another day, Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You lower yourself until she drops out of your arms, landing gracefully on the wooden floor.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She proceeds to glare at you but it doesn't feel natural.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...You have many questions.</span><br />&quot;How the hell do you walk off something like that?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That? That was nothing! Besides, I'm pretty tough. You can't let minor scrapes and bruises get in the way of being the best flyer.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She pockets her glare in favor of a grin, sticking her chest out with pride.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You /seriously/ do not get these ponies.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Are they secretly indestructible?</span><br />&quot;If I hit my head even half as hard as you did, there's a good chance I wouldn't walk again. Or have another conscious thought again.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash looks at you with concern.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Are you /that/ fragile?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Anything would look frail compared to you.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Shit, you just broke the first rule of conversing with Skittles.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Never, EVER feed her ego.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash chuckles, bringing a hoof to her chest.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yea! I guess they would!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thank goodness, you got off easy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight loudly clears her throat, drawing your attention to her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Glad you could join us, Dash, although you're a few minutes late.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That's why I was rushing here! Tried to slow down a few inches too late.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Join us'?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You glance down to Dash.</span><br />&quot;You volunteered to help today?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yea, Twilight said she needed somepony to help with figuring out your new power or something like that.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I said--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;So I thought about it and decided, hey, what if it's something even BETTER than booping?&quot;</span><br />&quot;...Did Twilight tell you what's being done today?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You raise an eyebrow at the lavender unicorn, who frowns.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I tried, but she flew away before I could explain.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash scoffs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;C'mon Twilight, it's Anon! I'm sure it's nothing.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's a pregnant pause, then Dash speaks up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Uh, what exactly /are/ we doing?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Here we go...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight doesn't hesitate to lay the truth on Skittles.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We're testing to see the effect Anon's hugging has on ponies.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Holy shit, that sounds even more absurd when vocalized.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rainbow Dash blinks a few times, unable to process what she just heard.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...'Hugging'???&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yup.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She shakes her head, clearly baffled.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm not-- That doesn't make any sense!&quot;</span><br />&quot;Tell me about it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You said only your hands were special.&quot;</span><br />&quot;That's what I thought too. Look Skittles--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Don't laugh, she'll only get even more annoyed.</span><br />&quot;--either you're in or you're not. We can always find someone else to help.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I dunno...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her nose wrinkles as she considers her choices.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're expecting her to lean towards declination. She doesn't strike you as the touchy-feely type.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;This isn't for me. Sorry guys.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's impossible to miss the reluctance in her tone.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her body also sags a little, as though she herself is disappointed in her answer.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't help but prod for information.</span><br />&quot;Why not?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's not that I don't want to help, it's just... They're not my thing, you know?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Figured.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Still, she looks far too morose for someone who prefers not to get hugged.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Even her ears are drooping.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're having a hard time believing she picked the &quot;correct&quot; choice.</span><br />&quot;You may not want a hug, but your current mood tells me you need one.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash looks up at you in confusion.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You spread your arms in a welcoming gesture.</span><br />&quot;Come here, you!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash watches with growing apprehension as you crouch down, taking to one knee.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's only when you're arms are about to surround her that she understands.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey! Don't you dare!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her wings flare out but they do nothing to block your advance.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Shhh, no tears.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Only hugs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your arms close around Skittles, resting lightly on her back.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Checkmate.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash's coat is even less soft than Twilight's. Still just as warm.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You were surprised when she declined trying out your new pett-- massage treatment even after being told of the effects; her reasoning being she's more interested in the rush gained from booping.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wait for a possible retaliation attack but none comes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's probably waiting for you to get it over with.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Similar to when you held her, she's motionless.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You should arm wrestle with her sometime. You bet you'd win.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Seconds pass, and you decide to take peek at Twilight's reaction.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse is watching intently, eye's wide with discovery as an aura-covered quill races across paper.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...You'll never understand the information she manages to extract from these events.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's at this moment you feel Dash shift.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Only instead of backing away... she leans into you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just like Pinkie Pie.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Goddammit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So now it's not just your hands that ponies like, but your arms?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This is so weird.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...How long are you supposed to keep this up?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You observe Dash's wings as they bend forward, immediately followed by a light touch on your sides.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Is she trying to return the hug with her wings?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;God DAMN that shit is cute.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're curious to know if all pegasi do this. Luna did something similar.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;While you're a bit too large for her to completely envelop you, it's the thought that counts.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'Not my thing' your ass.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;An unknown period of time passes by, with only the sound of quill meeting paper being heard.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You'd be content to stay in this position for longer but your knee is getting sore.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thus, you tap lightly on Dash's side.</span><br />&quot;I need a break.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thankfully Dash is not Pinkie, and after a moment her wings return to rest folded against her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You lean back to gauge her reaction to what just transpired.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She meets your gaze with a small smile...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...that slowly disappears as the realization of what she did sinks in.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In its place appears a steadily growing patch of purple-ish color on her cheeks.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh this is /glorious/.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She says nothing, continuing to stare at you... or rather the space you occupy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Skittles is probably malfunctioning right now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ah well, your job is done.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You get up, massaging your knee. A glance is directed towards Twilight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight is engrossed in her notes. A large stack of papers are now piled up near her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What the fuck.</span><br />&quot;Have you gathered sufficient data or do we need a round two? Looks like Skittles is out for the count.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight finishes up her writing before turning her attention to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;The only step left is for Dash to recount how she felt.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You look down at the still-flustered pegasus.</span><br />&quot;Whenever you're ready.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;With a shake of her head, Dash comes out of her trance, focusing on Twilight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What... what do you need?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;How did you feel? That's all... Oh, DO NOT downplay it. I need an honest answer.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash exhales loudly before starting.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It was kinda like...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her voice trails off and she glances up to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I would prefer if you didn't listen.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yea, no.</span><br />&quot;I think I have the right to hear how my body affects others.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Poor choice of wording or great?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If the fresh coat of purple on her cheeks mean anything, it was great.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Skittles opens her mouth but you interrupt.</span><br />&quot;I'm not budging.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She grumbles in response.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Fine...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She turns back to Twilight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It felt like I was... I...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She casts a desperate look to you, only to meet a shake of your head.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You weren't bullshitting with your logic. You want to know exactly what's going on.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash groans.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Auuugh!... You know when it's winter... and it's a really cold day but you don't have to do anything so you can just curl up in bed under the covers? It... feltlikethat.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Interesting.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Skittles and Pinkie both used a similar analogy. Although Dash's version includes less hot chocolate.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse isn't satisfied with her answer.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Please elaborate.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Another groan, another glance towards you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nope.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Imagine being wrapped in a warm blanketohCelestiapleasedon'tmakemesayanymore!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash is giving Quiet Horse a serious run for her money with how red her face is.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Unfortunately for her, Twilight shows no mercy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Is that all?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;YES!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse is unconvinced.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Rainbow Dash, I know this is difficult for you but I /need/ a complete description. Please.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ouch, your heart.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash stares at her friend, torn between quitting and helping her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Eventually she responds.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...There's... one more thing. But Anon can't hear.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fucking what.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You snort in amusement.</span><br />&quot;Uh, yea I can.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Please Anon?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Breaking out the good manners again?</span><br />&quot;Sorry, no can do.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;At this point Dash looks up at you and you can clearly see the desperation in her eyes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm begging you, Anonymous. PLEASE.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well shit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With that level of pleading you're basically required to oblige her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Or not.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You gaze deep into her moderate cerise eyes.</span><br />&quot;Rainbow Dash.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her ears perk up. Only once before have you ever used her full name; when you first met.</span><br />&quot;I know we like to crack jokes about each other, but this isn't that time. We are not here to make fun of each other. We are here to figure out exactly what the hell is up with me.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her ears lower more and more as she begins to realize where you're going with this.</span><br />&quot;Whatever you say here, I will not laugh, nor will I bring it up in the future. This is business. Nothing more, nothing less.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rainbow Dash looks down in disappointment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After a few seconds, she glances up to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You promise?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You bring a hand up to your heart.</span><br />&quot;I promise.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;With a reluctant sigh, she faces Twilight once more.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;......</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If she says anything funny, you are absolutely fucked.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I know I said it felt great and all, and it did! It did... but... I dunno, it felt like... only half of me was under the covers.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse tilts her head in confusion.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I don't get it.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Neither do you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I, uhm, wanted more. You understand?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Not exactly. Wanted more what, hugs?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash whines. An honest-to-goodness whine.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No! More than a hug!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That must not have been what she wanted to say, because she brings a hoof up to cover her mouth.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's that blush again. Through her coat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ponies are weird.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'More than a hug'?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What comes after a hug?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;For starters, let's eliminate all the sexual stuff because you're not a complete degenerate.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Hand-holding?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Lewd.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Wait no, that's before a hug.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What, like... cuddling?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;A possibility.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Hold on a second, that wasn't you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight looks expectantly at Dash to see if she's somewhere in the ballpark.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash turns her head away, too embarrassed to keep eye contact.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Maybe.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Huh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So it's not just your arms. It's you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;All of you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Also, who would've thought Skittles liked to be cuddled.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh right, this is because of you. In fact this only applies to you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Still it's interesting, to say the least.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;STOP SMILING!!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The unexpected outburst makes you jump.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash is giving you a look that would set you on fire if it wasn't diluted by her blush.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Shit, she caught you. Worst part is you didn't even know you were doing so.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's no getting out of this jam.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Time for damage control.</span><br />&quot;Sorry, I just think it's cute.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Wrong answer.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm not cute!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Those rosy cheeks beg to differ.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Hilarious how someone so bold and brash can be reduced to this state.</span><br />&quot;Look, I don't judge... Okay okay, that's a lie. What I meant to say is there's no reason to get worked up over--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm not worked up!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You give her a deadpan stare.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Not as much as you think.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Whatever. You seem to forget one thing: /This/--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You gesture at yourself.</span><br />&quot;--applies to all ponies. Well, more than likely all ponies; no reason for it to change now. You're getting flustered over something out of your control.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash's glare slowly dissipates as your words take hold.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Eventually she scratches the back of her head.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I... may have forgotten about that.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Understatement of the fucking century.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's just weird, you know? I wasn't kidding when I said hugs aren't my thing, but you...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You nod.</span><br />&quot;I know.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Now you can add 'cuddling' to the list of things you can take over Equestria with.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Sorry to interrupt guys, but we're not done yet.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash is understandably puzzled.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I thought the only thing left was a summary from me.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight shakes her head, smiling softly.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Actually, she looks amused more than anything.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That was before you explained everything. Now there's a new test and I think you'll enjoy it.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse is having fun with Skittles.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Enjoy what?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You say nothing, opting to let her figure it out herself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After a few moments, she glances up to you for support.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Still clueless?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You'll just nudge her along.</span><br />&quot;Did you not say you 'wanted more'?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have the subtlety of a sledgehammer.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That gets through to her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her eyes widen as you once again bend down, this time taking a seat on the floor.</span><br />&quot;Come here, you!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can see the ongoing battle in her head between running away and staying put.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Don't you dare!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You smirk as an arm takes hold behind her back.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If she's gonna argue against you, the least she could do is make it sound convincing.</span><br /><br /><br />&quot;Do you have a camera?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes but it's out for repairs.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You quietly swear to yourself. Talk about bad timing.</span><br />&quot;Damn, I want to see her face.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;She's...happy, to say the least.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The pair of you are referring to the pale-cerulean mare currently nestled against you. Her head rests on your neck, similar to when you carried her in here.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Unlike before, with your bodies being in such close proximity her wings now properly envelop you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Shit's comfy, yo.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's said nothing for the past few minutes, only letting out the occasional sigh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Someone is content.</span><br />&quot;Let me know when you want this to stop.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight puts down her quill.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;A couple more minutes will do. Besides--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She gives you a smug look.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;--I think /somepony/ is enjoying it more than they let on.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't help but smile.</span><br />&quot;Maybe.&quot;<br />-----<br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Really, what else is there to cover?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've gone over everything the two of you could think of.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well, everything /she/ could think of.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're currently performing the now all-too-familiar routine of visiting Twilight for /another/ testing session.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What has she come up with now? Nothing new has popped up recently.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...You may have an idea or two that you haven't brought up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Mainly out of respect for ponies.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can pass off your petting as a &quot;back massage&quot;.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But belly rubs?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ear scratches?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Those are things you perform on dogs. Or cats.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ponies most certainly have pride and dignity. Being compared to an animal probably wouldn't sit well with them (Dash being a good example).</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...You know what, you'll bring it up with Twilight anyway.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's all business... usually. She'll understand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Reaching the library entrance, you knock twice.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After a few seconds the door opens...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Revealing no one.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Come on in!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's voice registers in your head.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh right, magic.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Stepping inside, you close the door behind you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight, as usual, is parked behind a table, multiple pieces of paper strewn across it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Good afternoon Anonymous!&quot;</span><br />&quot;What's up. So, who's the victim for today?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're referring to the mystery pony you glanced over when you came in.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight recently decided that she should have less of a hands-on approach to her project, starting back when you discovered your knack for cuddling.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You explained that Spike was just messing with her before and she'd be missing out on a LOT, but Book Horse was adamant with her decision, if not a tad deflated.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Putting aside her personal enjoyment for the sake of science.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What a hero.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fortunately for her nothing was said about using your talent during off-hours.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So yea, today you'll be dealing with...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;......</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That is not a pony.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's a bird.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...No wait.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's a lion.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...It's both?</span><br />&quot;Gryphon?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've never seen one before, only been told of their existence.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The one here looks similar to what you were expecting. The only unusual features are the pale light-purple mark surrounding each eye and the way some white feathers stick out on their head.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's like a hairstyle of sorts.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The catbird before you is unamused with your obvious statement.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Nice analysis, genius. What are you supposed to be, a hairless minotaur?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Wow, where the fuck did THAT come from?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;First impressions are important and good god did she fuck up /big time/.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's been less than a minute and already you don't like her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;At least you're hoping it's a &quot;her&quot;. Did she swallow chalk recently?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're about to respond accordingly when you pause.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Probably not a good idea to insult the test subject.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fuck, you can't just leave that shit be.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Unfortunately you don't have a choice.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You make sure to return her glare with one of your own.</span><br />&quot;I'm a human.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Based Twilight can see the sparks flying between you and the catbird, and decides to jump in.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous! This is Gilda. Gilda, Anonymous.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your gaze doesn't break from Gilda as the pair of you continue trying to melt each other with your eyes alone.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Gilda was nice enough to visit all the way from Griffonstone in order to help out today.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Only because the pay is good.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's still staring at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight laughs nervously.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, when not a single griffon replies to the 'Help Wanted' ad you place in The Feathered Post, you get a little desp-- Never mind that! Anonymous, I need you to start with a booping.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Finally breaking your staring contest with Gilda, you face Twilight, ignoring her request.</span><br />&quot;I thought this only worked with ponies.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We can't be certain until we cover all creatures.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Hold. The fuck. Up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When she says 'all creatures' does she mean /literally/ every single fucking thing in this world?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh HELL no.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Focus on the current problem, Anon. That's an issue for another day.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Right, right.</span><br />&quot;It didn't work for Spike, remember? I doubt it'll work on... that.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Shit, you let that one slip.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Maybe she didn't notice.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda's eyes narrow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Insult me again, and you'll regret it for the rest of your very short life.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Welp, she noticed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You didn't like her before, now you downright hate her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Jumping straight into death threats?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight really knows how to pick 'em.</span><br />&quot;If you touch me, I have zero qualms with figuring out if your front half tastes like chicken.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;The rational part of you is yelling at your retarded ass for antagonizing something with claws AND talons.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The rest of you don't take shit from NOBODY.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can see her talons tighten up, sinking into her seat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Despite that, Gilda does nothing, only continuing her death glare.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;All talk and no bite?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Either that or she believes your empty threat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She doesn't know shit about you except for three things.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're tall, you eat meat, and you boop ponies.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Best not to fuck with that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight once again hastily intervenes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh-kay! A reminder Gilda, you won't receive payment if your behavior is not satisfactory.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She makes it sound like it's an issue with all gryphons.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda huffs in annoyance, the warning enough for her to ease up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Fine. Let's get this over with so I can get those bits.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight sighs in relief, raising a quill in preparation.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Whenever you're ready Anonymous.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;God, you really don't want to do this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You look at the catbitch-- catbird.</span><br />&quot;You know what I'm going to do, right?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She rolls her eyes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You're touching my beak. Hurry up already.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ugh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You close the short distance to her, also eager to finish as quickly as possible.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda eyes your hand like a hawk as it raises...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...And near-instantly goes back down.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You shake your head.</span><br />&quot;I can't. Sorry Twilight.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Why not?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Because on the off-chance that it DOES work, Catbird here will feel fan-fuckin'-tastic--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You direct your attention to Gilda as you finish your rant.</span><br />&quot;-And I sure as hell don't want to give /you/ that pleasure.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You gesture towards the door.</span><br />&quot;You can fuck off whenever you're ready.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda gives you her signature glare you've come to know and not love.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What does 'fuck' mean? Is that some weird alien language?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're all too happy to further broaden her knowledge.</span><br />&quot;It means many things. All you need to know is it's very, VERY offensive.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well /Anonymous/--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She spits out your name like it has a bad taste.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;--You can 'FUCK OFF' with thinking I'm going anywhere! I'm not leaving until those bits are in my talons!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If you weren't so pissed off you'd be proud of how quickly she caught on to its usage.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;God this fucking catbird infuriates you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When was the last time you were mad? Not agitated. Honest-to-goodness mad.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's right, it was before you got dumped into Equestria.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ponies have never given you a reason to be angry. Most of them are very nice, polite at worst.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Even when they avoided you, you only felt hollow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But Gilda...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She reminds you of home.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Hating for the sake of hating.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So stupid...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;But familiar in a way.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're still not going to boop her.</span><br />&quot;YOUR ass is gonna be here for a long time, cuz I'm not--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;CAN EVERYPONY PLEASE STOP?!?!?!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your arguing is shut down as Twilight's voice reverberates through the library.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Holy /shit/, Book Horse has quite the pair of lungs on her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda grimaces, both sets of talons pressed firmly against her head in an effort to drown out the yelling.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Unfortunately you were too slow to react.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your ears ring even after Twilight is finished.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse takes in a deep breath. When she's done, she focuses on you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous, Gilda said she's willing to assist today. The only pony-- human left is you, and I /need/ you. If you decline now, I don't know if I'll be able to find another griffon.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh for fuck's sake, do not--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Please?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There it is.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have a sneaking suspicion Twilight has caught on to its effectiveness against you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sucks for her though, you're not budging.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;No sir, not an inch.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not even for her dilated pupils... or her watery eyes...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Or those deflated ears...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br />&quot;FFFFUCK me. FINE. But you owe me. I don't know /what/, but you OWE me!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's devastated expression vanishes instantly the second you say 'fine'.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Lousy manipulating--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Great! Don't worry, you won't regret it!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Lie of the century.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight coughs into a knee.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Right. Whenever you're ready.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Bleh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You turn back to Gilda.</span><br />&quot;Don't move.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thankfully she doesn't have a shitty retort.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Up goes your hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Those aren't claws.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You glance at your raised hand.</span><br />&quot;These are fingers.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What are--&quot;</span><br />&quot;Save the anatomy questions for someone who gives a shit.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Catbird is less than pleased, but says nothing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Damn, it feels good talking trash to someone.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your outstretched finger slowly approaches its target.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Right before you reach her beak, you hesitate.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda isn't dumb.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I don't bite... most of the time.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's smirking now.</span><br />&quot;Y'know, my earlier statement still stands. Food for thought.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her expression doesn't change.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fuck.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Whatever, just get it over with quickly.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your target is near the top of her beak.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Slowly. Slowly....</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*Boop*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nope, nothing cute about that expression at all.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not a single thing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;At all.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...She's still a bitch.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Much to your disappointment, Gilda is going through the same process ponies experience.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fuuuuuck.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;All that's left is--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;*POOMF*</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...That?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You stare in wonder at the sight before you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Starting from the neck-down, Gilda's plumage has puffed out.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What a sight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That, combined with her sudden shocked look, makes you laugh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Better to laugh than stay mad.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Catbird isn't pleased with your cheerful mood.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Can it, dweeb!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Of course you ignore her, continuing to cackle up a storm.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She brings a foreleg up, pressing on her feathers in an attempt to bring them back down.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It doesn't work and she growls in frustration.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Meanwhile, you've finished up your laughing session.</span><br />&quot;You look great, did you know that?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;The grin on your face speaks volumes for the sincerity of that statement.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Surprisingly Gilda says nothing, instead continuing to stare daggers at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're starting to question if she's still pissed off. She has that look on twenty-four/seven.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Wait a second.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's acting no different now than she was before the booping.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't say it had no effect on her; her plumage speaks for itself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Then what the fuck happened?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What are you staring at, dweeb?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fuck kind of insult is 'dweeb'?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well it sure beats death threats.</span><br />&quot;You, obviously.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Gilda, I need a recount of your experience please.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight is good at recognizing tension and when to intervene.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda ignores her, continuing to eye you. Her tail sways to and fro.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Reminds you of a cat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Because she's a catbird.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As much as you'd love to indulge in this immature back-and-forth, Book Horse needs answers.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You point towards Twilight.</span><br />&quot;You want to get paid, right?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's all the encouragement Catbird needs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She slips off of the stool, walking over to Twilight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You didn't need to move. I can hear you just fine right here!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm not doing it for you. I'm making sure /that one/ doesn't hear.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She glances back to you with an expression you can't quite put your finger on.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yea, no.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dash tried that shit with you and it didn't fly.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;No way in hell Gilda miraculously gets a pass.</span><br />&quot;Not happening. I don't care how embarrassed you feel, I want to know what the fuck is up with me.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thank goodness Spike isn't here. You've been swearing like there's no tomorrow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda scoffs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Embarrassed? As if. I'm not doing this for me, I'm doing this for YOU.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;'For you'?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fuck is that supposed to mean?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda doesn't wait for your rebuttal. She plants her talons on the edge of Twilight's stool, allowing her to speak directly into Book Horse's ear.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Son of a bitch.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight, the traitorous cunt, is taking notes as Catbird speaks. Her quill races across the paper, lines being filled in seconds.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fuck this shit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You take this time to procure a stool of your own, planting it down before taking a seat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's still talking. What the fuck could she possibly--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's quill abruptly stops.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda, however, does not.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With each passing second, you observe Book Horse's transformation from dark purple cheeks to almost her entire face turning red.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Alright, what did Catbird say?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Eventually she stops and her voice picks up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Did you get all of that?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight is staring straight ahead, eyes wide.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I... I did. Thank you...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Good, cuz I'm not repeating myself.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Conversation over, Gilda returns to all fours, making her way back to her seat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You watch Twilight blink a few times, turning her attention back to her notes and continuing to write.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you look at Gilda, she's once again staring at you. Her plumage has managed to return to its flattened appearance.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You still don't like her but the earlier aggression has dissipated, leaving one option.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Annoyance.</span><br />&quot;I know I'm devilishly handsome, but it's rude to ogle someone that much.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Instead of the standard bristling and threats, Gilda snorts.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Please. The only thing I'm gawking at are those tiny eyes of yours. Do all hue-muns look like that?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's the second time someone has brought up your eyes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rude.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Come on Anon, you need to save face for the human race.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Think dammit, think...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ah-ha!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You shrug.</span><br />&quot;Our eyes are as big as they need to be.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;At that size it's a wonder you can see anything.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fuck, that didn't work.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Let's try again.</span><br />&quot;I see what I need to.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda cackles.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sounds a lot like an evil villain.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What, a few feet ahead of you? Your eyes are set straight forward!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Double rude.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Man you're bad at explaining shit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That and she's deliberately poking holes in your excuses.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You have a good one.</span><br />&quot;Consider this: what type of animals look forward /far/ more often than the rest?<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda furrows her brow in thought.</span><br />&quot;It's not a--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Shut up, I'm trying to think.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Aaaand you hate her again.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just kidding. That wasn't very nice though.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Predators?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh wow, she figured it out.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You were expecting a few minutes of frustration followed by swearing at you to give a hint.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You say nothing else, content to watch her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Honestly you just want Catbird off your ass. Your latest explanation should be reason enough.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her confused expression shifts into exasperation at your silence.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What about them? What does that have to do with you...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's like the last word was a trigger.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda's irritation slowly fades away as the realization hits.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Soon not even her standard glare remains.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Now she's just looking at you, only the end of her tail flicking from side to side.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're having a hard time reading any of her emotions that aren't a variation of &quot;fuck you&quot;.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;At the absolute least, you'd say Catbird looks calm.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You were semi-bullshitting about the predator bit. Luckily she doesn't know that.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;At least she shut up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You idly glance over to check on Twilight's progress.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's still writing. Her face no longer looks heated.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Speaking of...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You turn back to the gryphon in front of you, gesturing towards Book Horse with a thumb.</span><br />&quot;What did you say to her?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ask her.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She sounds a lot more female when she's not agitated and berating you.</span><br />&quot;Why can't you tell me?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Like I already said, it's not me, it's you.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Aren't breakups supposed to be the opposite?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Oh wait, that's not what this is.</span><br />&quot;Gilda, I know we're close friends, which is why that's such a /shit/ excuse.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She grins.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;If you want to know so badly, ask your purple friend.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fine.</span><br />&quot;Twilight, what did Gilda say about the booping?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight's head snaps up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...She, uh, mentioned something... uh, along the lines of...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Is Book Horse sweating?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You know what, we can talk about this later! Yes, later whenhopefullyyou'veforgettenaboutit!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With that said, she goes back to taking notes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You shake your head in resigned acceptance.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;How fucking hard is it to tell you?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What's the worst that could possibly be said?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda is still grinning.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Did she know Twilight would react like that?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Stupid catbird.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda breaks the silence.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Next up is a... massage, right?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Aw fuck, you completely forgot about that.</span><br />&quot;I dunno...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her grin falters.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What's that supposed to mean?&quot;</span><br />&quot;You said mean things and hurt my feelings. I don't think that sort of behavior deserves a massage.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda stares at you in disbelief.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...You're kidding, right? You have to be joking.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You muster up all of your strength to keep a straight face.</span><br />&quot;I don't joke about my emotions.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your face is going numb from the effort being exerted to avoid smiling.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sadly your will cracks, and you smirk a little.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Catbird notices instantly. Her expression shifts to one of half-annoyed, half-amused.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Joke all you want. I want that massage.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's really mellowed out compared to earlier. It's nice being able to talk without insults flying.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You might even be starting to tolerate her.</span><br />&quot;I'm an amateur y'know. Don't get your expectations up.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;After that boop, or whatever you call it?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda leans forward in her seat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh I /will/.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You don't like that look.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;THAT is what a predator's gaze looks like.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Combine it with her smile and you have a perfect mix of get-me-the-fuck-out-of-here.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Calm down, heart.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You only trust yourself to chuckle softly.</span><br />&quot;Don't say I didn't warn you.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're full of shit, of course.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If the boop worked (effects still unknown), you have a sneaking suspicion petting will too.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As for her reaction...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your thoughts are broken by the return of Twilight to the mortal realm.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Finally finished! Up next--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;A massage. Get moving, Anonymous.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You raise an eyebrow at the gryphon.</span><br />&quot;I'm flattered you used my name without any derogatory statements BUT, points off for ordering me around. You're the test subject, remember that.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda rolls her eyes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;And you're the tester or something. Whatever. Do your job.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;So much for tolerating her.</span><br />&quot;Damn, and here I thought we were getting along sooooo well.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda cocks her head to the side.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Are we not?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If that's a rhetorical question, the genuinely perplexed look on her face strongly suggests otherwise.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;First you don't get ponies, now you don't get gryphons.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Or Gilda. You don't get Gilda.</span><br />&quot;It's hard to tell sometimes.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She says nothing more, waiting for you to 'do your job'.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You point down.</span><br />&quot;I suggest you sit on the floor.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Why?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Because you're not a princess.</span><br />&quot;Because if what I'm expecting to happen does happen, you'll end up there anyway.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's that look again.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Shit's unnerving as fuck.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're starting to understand how the ponies initially felt when you caught their eye.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You're getting my hopes up, Anonymous.&quot;</span><br />&quot;That's on you.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Those fingers beg to differ.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Leaving you with that even-more-worrisome comment, Gilda makes the short trip to the ground.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You follow suit, plopping yourself directly next to her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Being in such close proximity makes her head stand tall above you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's a bit taller than most ponies too, adding to the height difference.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Catbird doesn't hesitate to comment on it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You're short when you sit down.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You ignore her smug smirk.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Can't even defend that; gotta roll with the punches.</span><br />&quot;Thank you Captain Obvious.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Touchy subject?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Now she's just taking the piss.</span><br />&quot;Nah, I just know when to quit early.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;As if you have a choice.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oof. That one hurt.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Despite that all-too-real burn, you can't help but smile.</span><br />&quot;You got me.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda is satisfied with her victory, and spares you from further emotional trauma.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm ready when you're ready.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her tail is back to swishing to and fro.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Don't cats do that shit when they're excited or something?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's half-cat so it counts, right?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It totally counts.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Once more your hand reaches out to Gilda. Its destination: Her back.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her head is turned to watch what you're doing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As your hand makes contact with her fur you feel her body tense up for the briefest of moments.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nothing else occurs, so you continue with your task.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Naturally, everything changes the instant you move your hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In a flash, Gilda's wing shoots open, catching you square in the chest and knocking you over.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What the fuck???</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You lay on the floor, staring at the library ceiling in confusion and slight awe.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Those wings are pretty strong.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yea, that happens sometimes when something feels... nice.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Is that a gryphon thing? Dash and Quiet Horse don't do that.</span><br />&quot;A heads up would've also been nice.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;If I knew it was going to happen, I would've said something. Stop complaining.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You bring yourself back up to a sitting position.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Catbird is giving you a flat look. Her wings are extended and even from this angle you can tell they're larger than pegasi's.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well? I'm waiting.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She seems to forget who's in charge.</span><br />&quot;Remember: Anon giveth--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You reach out to gently stroke her back.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're pretty sure her eyes glazed over.</span><br />&quot;Anon taketh away.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Off goes your hand.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Don't even think about it.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her manners could use some serious work.</span><br />&quot;That's no way to treat a friend.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda scoffs, and you can make out her mouthing the word 'friend'.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Whatever, dweeb. You promised your purple friend you wouldn't back out.&quot;</span><br />&quot;You're hurting my feelings again.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...FINE. Can you PLEASE continue the massage?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Sure.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;How long are yo-- oh.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Before Gilda can say anything else to dissuade you, your hand is again making short stroking motions along her back.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;.......</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well that didn't take long.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Catbird is lying on the floor, legs and wings lazily extended.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With her current position blocking easy access to her back, you've been petting dangerously close to her underside.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If she has any grips with it, she says nothing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Admittedly you were secretly hoping she would adopt that weird pose cats do where they fold their paws next to their chest, but this is alright too.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;From what you can see, her reaction is similar to Rarity's.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Unmoving, quiet as hell, may as well be asleep.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Speaking of sleeping...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Is she snoring?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Did she seriously fall asleep?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your hands vibrate with each exhale she makes.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Wait a second...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's purring.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Catbird is actually purring.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's like she's an oversized house kitty.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With talons.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Now here's the million-dollar question.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;To laugh, or not to laugh?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Nah.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This isn't /completely/ out of left field.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You'll just save this wonderful piece of information for the future.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That should do it, Anonymous.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Alright.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You cease your ministrations as per Twilight's instructions.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Even when your hand is still, Gilda continues to purr.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;In less than a minute, she twitches, eyes remaining closed</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Why did you stop.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She doesn't sound annoyed or agitated. Your petting really mellowed her out.</span><br />&quot;Because, all good things must come to an end. My job is done, now it's your turn.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Despite a loud sigh of reluctance, she doesn't push the issue.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;After a brief stretch, she returns to a sitting position and you try to forget just how sharp those claws look.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Catbird blinks slowly a few times, never taking her eyes off you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That wasn't exactly what I was anticipating, but I'm not picky.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Mhmm. What /were/ you expecting?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;At that, she smiles.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not a smirk, or a grin. A smile.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ask Miss Purple.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You casually flip her off.</span><br />&quot;Nice cop-out answer.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;To your confusion, Gilda looks up at the ceiling.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight once again butts in, most likely in hopes of diverting the discussion away from her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Okay Gilda, I need--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What was that supposed to mean?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You rudely gesture again.</span><br />&quot;This?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yea.&quot;</span><br />&quot;It's another insult. Basically means 'go fuck yourself'.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda's gaze drifts away in thought.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Huh...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight uses the lull in conversation to try speaking again.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Gilda, I need a recap of--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well Anonymous--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You watch as Catbird flips you off.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;The feeling is mutual.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's still smiling.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Do all gryphons make friends/acquaintances by being jerks to each other?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That would explain her behavior SOOOO much.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Well, you can't say you're not enjoying yourself.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Of course you don't need negativity in your life, but it's satisfying to talk shit once in a while.</span><br />&quot;I'm impressed with how quickly you catch on to my insults.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda sticks out her chest with pride. You swear her feathers puff out a bit.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I take pride in my work.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's like a rude gryphon version of Dash.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm glad the two of you are getting along so well, but I /need/ a response, Gilda!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Poor Twilight has been ignored twice already.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yea, yea...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda scratches her neck with a talon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It felt nice... Good, even.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Is that all?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight stares at the stone-faced gryphon in bewilderment.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anything else?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Catbird shakes her head.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Nah.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I can't only use 'It felt good'. I need details!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What details? There's nothing else to say.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You certainly had a lot to say about An--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Book Horse abruptly cuts herself off, almost choking on her words.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The fuck?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda is unfazed.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...It was relaxing? I can't think of anything else.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight groans.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Guess I'll have to work with that.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;That reminds you...</span><br />&quot;Speaking of relaxing, I didn't know gryphons purr.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yea, it's a sign of contentment. I have to admit, your fingers are something else.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Damn, you were hoping it was a super-embarrassing reflex she couldn't control and you could make heavy implications towards her being a house cat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You are a terrible person, Anon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She started it though.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You nod.</span><br />&quot;I know.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda huffs at your lack of thanks.</span><br />&quot;That's not even all of it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hmmm?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Right, next up is...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;No.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Absolutely not.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As if to send you to the gallows, Twilight pipes up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;All done! Only one test remaining!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Catbird's eyes light up as she finally recalls the final event.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The fuck is she so happy about?</span><br />&quot;No thanks.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous, after this test you'll be free to leave. Please don't bail on me now.&quot;</span><br />&quot;It's complicated, Book Horse.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br />&quot;Alright, maybe it isn't. Gilda, I know you and I no longer want to strangle each other to death--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She nods in understanding.</span><br />&quot;--But I have limits. Skittles, Rarity, and Twilight all have something in common: they are friends of mine.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;They're also small(er), adorable ponies.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not big, feisty catbirds.</span><br />&quot;I only cuddle friends. I'll give you another pet-- massage if you want though.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda doesn't flinch when you casually mention the lack of a friendship with her.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Good. That means you're both on the same page.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I understand.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thank--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Good thing you said we're /close/ friends, right?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;What.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When the hell did you say that?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You give her a flat look.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She has quite the smug expression.</span><br />&quot;Do you REALLY think I was serious?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Now I do.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;......</span><br />&quot;Okay, /that/ was a good answer.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda says nothing more.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Dumb Twilight and her sad looks and needing you to cuddle gryphons.</span><br />&quot;...Keep those talons to yourself.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;That's all she needed to hear. Her tail resumes its swishing.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You size her up, trying to figure out how the fuck this is going to work.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Catbird has other things in mind. She stands up, taking a few steps until she's by your side.</span><br />&quot;What?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Lie down.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Why?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;On this hard-as-fuck floor? Your ass is already sore, no need for your back to suffer.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Because it's not going to work with you sitting.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Not with that attitude.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda pays no mind to your stupid remark. Instead she reaches up to grab your shoulder.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You freeze.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fuck, they're as sharp as they look.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's only when she starts pushing that you realize what's going on.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yea, no.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You grab her talons, ignoring the annoyed look she gives you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With a little bit of pressure, you remove her foreleg from yourself.</span><br />&quot;I don't know what you have in mind, but I'm not breaking my back on this floor. I'll figure something out if you give me a minute.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;We don't need a minute when there's a solution /now/.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Your solution blows and I already have an idea.<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You shift yourself until you're facing Gilda. She's irked, to say the least.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Why are you so stubborn? It's annoying.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br />&quot;Lay down and keep your front half on my lap. This is as good as it's gonna get.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;THAT'S it? That's what you came up with?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She sounds disappointed more than anything.</span><br />&quot;Catbird, the only other option is spooning and let's be real: we just met. Those kind of things don't happen until the third date at least.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...I don't see the problem.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Wow.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Either she's a bigger softie than she lets on or you really DO have magic.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You raise an eyebrow.</span><br />&quot;You don't strike me as that kind of person-- pony... gryphon.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She huffs in annoyance.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I can make an exception.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda must really want this.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The same gryphon you despised earlier is now poorly hiding her desire to spoon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;If you call her &quot;adorable&quot; would she kill you?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...Probably.</span><br />&quot;Sadly there are no available couches or beds within a five-foot radius. Get down here, you!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Before Gilda can react, you wrap your arms around her midsection and tug enough for her to lose balance but not come crashing down.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As she falls, Gilda lets out a squawk of surprise.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Did she really just do that?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You've seen so many cat traits from her, you forgot she's also part eagle.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Don't laugh. Those talons are dangerously close to you now.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her head now rests on one of your legs. The front half of her body occupies the rest of your lap while the rest lay limply to the side.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Do you want me to choke y--&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her voice dies off as you adjust an arm so it now supports her head and wraps around to rest against her chest feathers.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Damn that shit is soft.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your other arm lies on her side, hand lightly stroking her fur.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This ain't half bad.</span><br />&quot;Does this work?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda only stares at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not the predator stare, thank goodness. The calmer-than-calm one.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Did Rainbow Dash look something like this?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Before you can properly settle in, Catbird wiggles her rear, sliding it over until her lower half rests along your legs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Better.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nothing else is said as you continue your intense hugging session.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not long after, you feel the familiar vibrations of before permeating your body.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sounds a bit louder though.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You know, this feels nice.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Sure you prefer cuddling smaller ponies (you'll never admit out loud Dash was your favorite), but this is a good kind of different.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda's purring up a storm, giving you a pleasant feeling.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yea.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;This isn't bad at all.</span><br /><br /><br />&quot;Feel free to get off me anytime.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Can it, dweeb.&quot;</span><br />&quot;You can't get any bits if you don't move.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda twitches ever so faintly, still staring at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Whatever, I'll live.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Isn't that the reason she came here in the first place?</span><br />&quot;I really don't want to move you--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Then don't.&quot;</span><br />&quot;--But I can't sit here forever.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Gilda?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight calls out to the lazy gryphon.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yea, yea. I'll get up in a few... hours.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Oh hell no.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not even Twilight got this needy.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Time for evasive action.</span><br />&quot;Catbird, I just want you to know... It can't work.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her expression doesn't change.</span><br />&quot;You only love me for my /body/, not for who /I am/.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;That gets a reaction. She goes from content to disgruntled.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You never stopped talking.</span><br />&quot;...Not to mention the whole long-distance thing. I mean, who wants to wait--&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Shut up, Anonymous. You talk too much&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Rude.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda sighs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm getting up.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You remove your arms from around her, allowing her to flip over onto the floor.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Suddenly you feel empty.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She proceeds to stretch out, only this time it's a lot like a cat. Back arched and everything.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When she's done, she walks over to Twilight.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br />&quot;Are you SERIOUSLY going to do this shit again???&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Catbird pauses as she reaches Book Horse.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yup.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Son of a--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You stand up, choosing not to rub your sore ass and instead taking a seat on the stool you used before.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;To be honest, there's not much of a difference.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Glancing over to Twilight, you see her writing a stream of words as Gilda whispers into her ear.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Despite a few pauses, Book Horse doesn't turn red.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Big deal.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You don't need to know what's being said.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Nothing important, you bet.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda's just doing this to fuck with you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Right, because she's--</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What are you staring at, dweeb?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When the fuck did she get here?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's perched on top of her stool, returning your stare with one of her own.</span><br />&quot;Is 'dweeb' a special nickname you use for all your besties?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda brings up talon to mock-gag at your comment.</span><br />&quot;So is that a 'maybe', or...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's a rude name for wimps, or nerds.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You hear Twilight fidget oh so softly in her seat.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;But I could set it aside as an insult just for you.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda sneers at you, but it's lighthearted more than anything.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You place a hand over your heart.</span><br />&quot;You would do that for me? Shit, this is the best gift I've ever received.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Why am I not surprised?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight, as usual, interrupts the fun.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Booping: check. Massage: check. Hugs and/or cuddling: check.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She glances up to Gilda, a smile on her face.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That's everything! Thank you very much Gilda and Anonymous. Gilda, here's your payment.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight levitates a brown pouch over to Catbird, who takes it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can hear the bits clinking together as she inspects the contents.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br />&quot;You got PAID to do this?!?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fucking hell, how did it JUST hit you?</span><br />&quot;That wasn't a job, it may have well been a day at the fucking spa!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda only smiles smugly.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Thankfully Book Horse is here to knock some sense into you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous, we had no idea what could've happened. Gryphons aren't ponies, so in reality Gilda was taking a risk when she accepted.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ugh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Technically correct is the worst kind of correct.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda tosses the pouch in the air a few times, still grinning at you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;All in a day's work.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You flip her off, which she proudly returns.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...In hindsight, teaching that to her probably wasn't the smartest idea.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Looks like I'm out of here.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You raise a hand in farewell.</span><br />&quot;You're mean, and I'm alright with that. Take care.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda shakes her head, chuckling.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You're the weirdest minotaur I've ever seen, and that's fine with me.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;D'awwww.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda returns the gesture before getting off her seat, slowly walking to the library entrance.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You watch as she opens the door, passing through the doorway before reaching back with her... tail to close it.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Cool.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Just as you turn around, a voice interrupts you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anonymous!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Looking back, you see Gilda poking her head through the doorway.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I don't know if you've ever been to Griffonstone, but... if you ever visit sometime...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She rubs the back of her head.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...maybe we could meet up again. You're not half-bad.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Eh...</span><br />&quot;Remember what I said about loving me for who I am?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda groans.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Stop it already.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You snort.</span><br />&quot;Sure. That would be... nice.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Gilda smiles.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Cool.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her head disappears behind the doorframe.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Later dweeb!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;With that classy remark, the door slams shut.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Huh.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The library is suddenly a lot quieter.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You turn back to Twilight, who's also smiling.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Looks like somepony made a new friend today.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You roll your eyes.</span><br />&quot;'Friend' is a strong word. In fact, even 'acquaintance' would be stretching it... I prefer the term 'hate-buddy'.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Call it what you want, I know a friendship when I see one.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Yessir, because you're the expert on making friends.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You should be proud, Anonymous. It's notoriously difficult for anypony to make friends with a griffon. They can be very... impolite at times.&quot;</span><br />&quot;No shit.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;All of that aside, thank you for your assistance today. I know it was difficult at times and I appreciate you sticking around.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You grimace.</span><br />&quot;Somebody has to do it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;...</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Remembrance!</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You glance over to the purple pony.</span><br />&quot;You recall earlier when I said you owe me something?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight looks at you with apprehension.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;...Possibly.&quot;</span><br />&quot;The words Gilda spoke to you in private. What'd she say?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Twilight freezes up.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can see her eyes shift around as she searches for something to bullshit her way out of the situation.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There is no escape, Book Horse.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Uhhh...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You /will/ get answers.</span></div></div>




</div><div id="page-secondary-actions"></div>			</div>
							</div>
						<div id="footer">
							<ul class="footer-info">
					<li id="footer-info-mobile-switcher"><h2>MulpWiki</h2>
<ul>
	<li>Mobile&zwnj;</li><li><a id="mw-mf-display-toggle" href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php?title=A_Magic_Touch_(AiE)(Updated&amp;mobileaction=toggle_view_desktop">Desktop</a></li>
</ul></li>				</ul>
							<ul class="footer-places">
					<li id="footer-places-privacy"><a href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php/MulpWiki:Privacy_policy" title="MulpWiki:Privacy policy">Privacy</a></li>				</ul>
					</div>
					</div>
		</div>
		<script>if(window.mw){
mw.config.set({"wgBackendResponseTime":198});
}</script><script>/*<![CDATA[*/window.jQuery && jQuery.ready();/*]]>*/</script><script>if(window.mw){
mw.loader.state({"user.groups":"ready"});
}</script>
<script>if(window.mw){
mw.loader.load(["mediawiki.toc","mediawiki.user","mediawiki.hidpi","mobile.search","mobile.startup","mobile.stable","mobile.issues","mobile.editor","mobile.languages","mobile.newusers","mobile.toggling","mobile.loggingSchemas"],null,true);
}</script>
		</body>
		</html>
		