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				<a id="mw-mf-last-modified" data-timestamp="1494191009" href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php/Special:History/4chan_University_-_5" data-user-name="HotRobotSlave" data-user-gender="unknown" class="top-bar truncated-text">Last modified on 7 May 2017, at 21:03</a>		<script>
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			<h1 id="section_0">4chan University - 5</h1><ul id="page-actions" class="hlist"><li id="ca-edit" class="icon icon-32px icon-edit" title="Edit the lead section of this page."></li><li id="ca-talk" class="hidden icon icon-32px icon-talk"><a href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php?title=Talk:4chan_University_-_5&amp;action=edit&amp;redlink=1" title="Discussion about the content page [t]" accesskey="t">Discussion</a></li><li id="ca-watch" class="watch-this-article icon icon-32px"><a href="http://mulpwiki.org/index.php?title=Special:UserLogin&amp;returnto=4chan+University+-+5" title="Add this page to your watchlist [w]" accesskey="w"></a></li></ul>		</div>
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This page was created by a <a href="./User:HotRobotSlave" title="User:HotRobotSlave">bot</a> and has not undergone revision yet.
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<td><b>Writefag</b>
</td>
<td> LeonidIslay
</td></tr>
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<td><b>Pastebin link</b>:
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<td><a rel="nofollow" class="external free" href="http://pastebin.com/zs7bX6ce">http://pastebin.com/zs7bX6ce</a>
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<td><b>Pastebin creation</b>
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<td>Thursday 13th of October 2016 05:21:23 PM CDT
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<td><b>Last Pastebin update</b>
</td>
<td>Thursday 13th of October 2016 05:21:23 PM CDT
</td></tr></table>

</div><h3><span class="mw-headline" id="4chan_University_-_1">4chan University - 1</span><a href="4chan_University_-_5#/editor/1" title="Edit section: 4chan University - 1" data-section="1" class="edit-page icon icon-32px icon-edit enabled">Edit</a></h3><div>
<div dir="ltr" class="mw-geshi mw-code mw-content-ltr"><div class="gettext source-gettext">&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Be Seamus</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Move-in day at 4chan U (Go Clovers!)</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;majoring in music</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;concentration: musical saw</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;arrive at your dorm, Blue Hall</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;long ass line to check in, stand behind a guy playing pokemon</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;guy gets in line behind you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wearing a trenchcoat, mask, and a fedroa</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he's holding a box of plastic-wrapped comics</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stare for a moment</span><br />&quot;Lemme guess, art major? Animation?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;N-no, undecided. I can never figure out if I want comics or movies. Comics are pure, but only please through sight. Animation dilutes the product, but engulfs sight, sound, smell, tassssste.&quot;</span><br />&quot;I hear ya. I've got all three Nolan Batman soundtracks on FLAC. Hans Zimmer nailed it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well if you like that, the 1989 Batman soundtrack was pretty good too. It really set the tone for every Batman movie after it. I'm Conrad&quot;</span><br />&quot;Seamus&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;finally get to the front of the line</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a guy with a headset is behind the desk</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hi, can I help you&quot;</span><br />&quot;I'm here to get my room assignment&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Name?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Seamus&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Okay Seamus, you're on the second flood, room /mu/. Will that be all?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yes, thank you.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;walk to the stairs humming the batman theme</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;all the dorms have different abbreviations on them</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;/3/, /a/, /c/, /g/</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;upstairs, all the doors have abbreviations as well</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;/adv/, /biz/, /co/</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you find your down the hall a ways, in between /mlp/ and /n/</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you unlock your room door and survey the scene</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a desk, a twin bed, a window, a closet, a bathroom you share with /n/</span><br />&quot;Just pretend you're living on the road. It's a cheap-ass hotel room you'll be stuck in for the next year.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you leave the room to go start getting things from your van</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;see Conrad walking into /co/</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Seamus!&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yo!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Nice! Same floor. He we ought to go check out the other dorm tonight. Red Dorm. That's where all the upperclassmen live. I bet they party hard.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Ehhhhh, I was thinking about...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What? Staying here and alphabetizing your record collection?&quot;</span><br />&quot;N-no!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;yes</span><br />&quot;Let me think about it. I still have a lot of setting up to do. I'll swing by later once I'm done.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Later tater!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;literally what</span><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're unloading dorm stuff from your van.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;gotta hurry before the notice you stole a dolly</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;record player, tube amp, boxes of records</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;fuck carrying all this</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ooohhh, neat van. How often do you pick up kids in it?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a young girls voice catches your ear</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you poke your heard out the back</span><br />&quot;what did you just say?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's in a purple dress with pigtails and a hat that says &quot;TOP KEK&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what the hell is TOP KEK?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what is a child doing here?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;why did she just insult your van?</span><br />&quot;I used this van to schlep around my stuff when I was in a band.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You play instruments? Can you play Wonderwall?</span><br />&quot;Why would I want to play that?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Because it's the best song ever! Duh.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Seriously, who's fucking kid is this</span><br />&quot;One, it's not. Two, I could play it but I don't want to.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I don't see a guitar. How can you play it if you don't have a guitar?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Hey I'm pretty busy trying to get my stuff out. Shouldn't you be with your parents saying good bye to your older brother or sister?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Nope, I go here. I kinda run the place really. Hey, check'em!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She spins her arms and finger-gun points at your license plate.</span><br />&quot;what&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Your license plate, it has dubs. You gotta check your dubs.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;an awkward silecence fills the air as you stare at this weird child</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's like she's speaking a langue that is indistinguishable English, but totally different all the same</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anyway, we're having a party over at Red Dorm tonight and we needed some music. Buuuuut, if you don't have a guitar, I guess you can't come.</span><br />&quot;Oh darn&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;B-but if you change your mind, the password is &quot;none&quot;.</span><br />&quot;I'll keep that in mind.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wheel your stuff back into the dorm but are stopped by the stairs</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;sonofabitch</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're tapped on the shoulder, hard</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a muscular dudebro in a tank-top that says &quot;GOMAD&quot; is behind you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;need help?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The german accent is thick but you get the message</span><br />&quot;I would love it&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;He takes the heaviest part as you both walk up the stairs</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You both make it up to the top and he sets it down</span><br />&quot;Thanks bro&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You too!&quot;</span><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Back in your room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;plug in record player and dig through record stash</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The Chronic</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;whynot.jpg</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the beats and rhymes fill the air as you work to set your new room just as you want it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're plotting how to ironically hang a Bob Marley poster when you hear a knock at the door</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you answer it to see a guy dressed head to toe in cycling gear carrying a bike</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey, I live next door. I'm Lance&quot;</span><br />&quot;Seamus.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I just got back from doing 20 miles and I heard the good tunes. You bike?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Not even a little.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well I thought I'd offer. If you ever change your mind, hit me up.&quot;</span><br />&quot;I will.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You going to the party next door?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Maybe, still working on getting things set up in here.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, if you do want to, I'm going over with a group at 9.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He carries his bike off to his room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You go and change the record to something less &quot;good&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven oughta dampen the mood around here.</span></div></div>
</div><h3><span class="mw-headline" id="4chan_University_-_2">4chan University - 2</span><a href="4chan_University_-_5#/editor/2" title="Edit section: 4chan University - 2" data-section="2" class="edit-page icon icon-32px icon-edit enabled">Edit</a></h3><div>
<div dir="ltr" class="mw-geshi mw-code mw-content-ltr"><div class="gettext source-gettext">&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Be Seamus</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Move-in day at 4chan U (Go Clovers!)</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;majoring in music</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;concentration: musical saw</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;arrive at your dorm, Blue Hall</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;long ass line to check in, stand behind a guy playing pokemon</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;guy gets in line behind you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wearing a trenchcoat, mask, and a fedroa</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he's holding a box of plastic-wrapped comics</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stare for a moment</span><br />&quot;Lemme guess, art major? Animation?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;N-no, undecided. I can never figure out if I want comics or movies. Comics are pure, but only please through sight. Animation dilutes the product, but engulfs sight, sound, smell, tassssste.&quot;</span><br />&quot;I hear ya. I've got all three Nolan Batman soundtracks on FLAC. Hans Zimmer nailed it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well if you like that, the 1989 Batman soundtrack was pretty good too. It really set the tone for every Batman movie after it. I'm Conrad&quot;</span><br />&quot;Seamus&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;finally get to the front of the line</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a guy with a headset is behind the desk</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hi, can I help you&quot;</span><br />&quot;I'm here to get my room assignment&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Name?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Seamus&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Okay Seamus, you're on the second flood, room /mu/. Will that be all?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yes, thank you.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;walk to the stairs humming the batman theme</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;all the dorms have different abbreviations on them</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;/3/, /a/, /c/, /g/</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;upstairs, all the doors have abbreviations as well</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;/adv/, /biz/, /co/</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you find your down the hall a ways, in between /mlp/ and /n/</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you unlock your room door and survey the scene</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a desk, a twin bed, a window, a closet, a bathroom you share with /n/</span><br />&quot;Just pretend you're living on the road. It's a cheap-ass hotel room you'll be stuck in for the next year.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you leave the room to go start getting things from your van</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;see Conrad walking into /co/</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Seamus!&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yo!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Nice! Same floor. He we ought to go check out the other dorm tonight. Red Dorm. That's where all the upperclassmen live. I bet they party hard.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Ehhhhh, I was thinking about...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What? Staying here and alphabetizing your record collection?&quot;</span><br />&quot;N-no!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;yes</span><br />&quot;Let me think about it. I still have a lot of setting up to do. I'll swing by later once I'm done.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Later tater!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;literally what</span><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're unloading dorm stuff from your van.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;gotta hurry before the notice you stole a dolly</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;record player, tube amp, boxes of records</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;fuck carrying all this</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ooohhh, neat van. How often do you pick up kids in it?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a young girls voice catches your ear</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you poke your heard out the back</span><br />&quot;what did you just say?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's in a purple dress with pigtails and a hat that says &quot;TOP KEK&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what the hell is TOP KEK?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what is a child doing here?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;why did she just insult your van?</span><br />&quot;I used this van to schlep around my stuff when I was in a band.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You play instruments? Can you play Wonderwall?</span><br />&quot;Why would I want to play that?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Because it's the best song ever! Duh.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Seriously, who's fucking kid is this</span><br />&quot;One, it's not. Two, I could play it but I don't want to.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I don't see a guitar. How can you play it if you don't have a guitar?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Hey I'm pretty busy trying to get my stuff out. Shouldn't you be with your parents saying good bye to your older brother or sister?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Nope, I go here. I kinda run the place really. Hey, check'em!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She spins her arms and finger-gun points at your license plate.</span><br />&quot;what&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Your license plate, it has dubs. You gotta check your dubs.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;an awkward silecence fills the air as you stare at this weird child</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's like she's speaking a langue that is indistinguishable English, but totally different all the same</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anyway, we're having a party over at Red Dorm tonight and we needed some music. Buuuuut, if you don't have a guitar, I guess you can't come.</span><br />&quot;Oh darn&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;B-but if you change your mind, the password is &quot;none&quot;.</span><br />&quot;I'll keep that in mind.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wheel your stuff back into the dorm but are stopped by the stairs</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;sonofabitch</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're tapped on the shoulder, hard</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a muscular dudebro in a tank-top that says &quot;GOMAD&quot; is behind you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;need help?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The german accent is thick but you get the message</span><br />&quot;I would love it&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;He takes the heaviest part as you both walk up the stairs</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You both make it up to the top and he sets it down</span><br />&quot;Thanks bro&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You too!&quot;</span><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Back in your room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;plug in record player and dig through record stash</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The Chronic</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;whynot.jpg</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the beats and rhymes fill the air as you work to set your new room just as you want it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're plotting how to ironically hang a Bob Marley poster when you hear a knock at the door</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you answer it to see a guy dressed head to toe in cycling gear carrying a bike</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey, I live next door. I'm Lance&quot;</span><br />&quot;Seamus.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I just got back from doing 20 miles and I heard the good tunes. You bike?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Not even a little.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well I thought I'd offer. If you ever change your mind, hit me up.&quot;</span><br />&quot;I will.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You going to the party next door?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Maybe, still working on getting things set up in here.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, if you do want to, I'm going over with a group at 9.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He carries his bike off to his room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You go and change the record to something less &quot;good&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven oughta dampen the mood around here.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Be Seamus</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've been lounging most of the day organizing and listening to records</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's 8pm, an hour before Lance heads to the party</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You get up and leave your room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wonder if Conrad is still going</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;maybe you can talk him into explaining Speed Force to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your other next door neighbor's door is cracked open</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;/mlp/</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you knock, being polite is the least you can do</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;come iiiiiiinnnnnn&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's a female voice, but at least this one is your age</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You step in, and are instantly overwhelmed in a flood of pastel colors</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ponies. The room is wall to wall with small colorful equines.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The girl sitting on the floor is wearing a fedora, scarf, white shirt, and blue jeans</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she's playing with several figurines</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You spend several moments taking in the room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;So are you my next door neighbor? The one playing the sad music?&quot;</span><br />&quot;That would be me, Seamus.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm Emily.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She gets up and enthusiastically shakes your hand</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh it's wonderful to make friends. Here, have a pony.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She hands you a grey figure holding a cello.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That's Octavia. She's a house musician for Princess Celestia.&quot;</span><br />&quot;She plays the cello with magic?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No silly *giggle*, just with her hooves. She's an earth pony. They can't use magic.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fascinating</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You inspect the pony for a few moments and put it in your pocket.</span><br />&quot;So you collect My Little Pony merch?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yeah, when I'm not watching the show, writing fics, arguing about the show online, or drawing pony art.&quot;</span><br />&quot;You really like ponies, don't you?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's the only thing I've ever been good at.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The awkwardness is heavy and permeating</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She sees you're nervous and adds</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Are you going to the party tonight?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Is that the only thing to do tonight? You're the fourth person to ask me.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I guess so. This is college after all. I'm going over with my brother Conrad.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Conrad is your brother? I met him earlier.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yeah but you wouldn't know it. Dude has no respect for my craft.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Man doesn't like My Little Pony. Film at 11.</span><br />&quot;As much as I enjoy hating everything that regular people like, I guess I'll go.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Sweet! We'll come get you when we go.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Cool, I'm gonna go wander for a bit.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;As you leave her room, you see a girl carrying a milk crate full of books</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As she opens the door, one falls off the top of the stack</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you rush to grab it for her as she closes the door</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;House of Leaves</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you knock on the door</span><br />&quot;Hey, you dropped your book.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she opens it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the ghost of David Foster Wallace appears</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You hand her the book</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she scowls at you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Have you ever read it?&quot;</span><br />&quot;House of Leaves? NO, but I have the companion album by Poe. I'm Seamus by the way.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Read it. Come back to me when you're done.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Uh okay. Unrelated question, when do you go on?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she stares</span><br />&quot;I mean the band, when do you go on? You're with the E Street Band right?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;more staring</span><br />&quot;YOUR BANDANNA. MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE. THE GUITARIST. FROM THE E STREET BAND. I AM MAKING FUN OF YOU!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;nothing</span><br />&quot;Okay, cool, well I'm gonna go read this. Your name was?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;door slams</span><br />&quot;Yeah, I am smooth as fuck.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;walk back to your room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;start reading House of Leaves</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hear Conrad next door</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You get up and examine yourself in the mirror</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;plaid shirt, corduroy pants</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;could be worse</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;walk out and run into Conrad along with a few other people you haven't met</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You coming to the par-tay bro.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Provided you don't do that again, sure.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Right.&quot;</span><br />&quot;So are we ready to head over?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Got one more guy coming&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Suddenly, voice appears behind you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Dr. Conrad, I'm CIA&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh good lord</span><br />Emily chimes in<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;He wasn't alone.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not you too</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a flood of spaghetti rushes past you as they complete the scene</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Lotta loyalty for a hired gun.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;new guy points a finger gun at you</span><br />&quot;Or perhaps he's wonder why you would shoot a man before throwing him out of a plane.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you put zero effort into the line</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Okay, he's cool. I'm Trevor.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Seamus.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you shake hands as the group moves towards the stairs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you get outside and start walking towards Red Dorm</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you get close, you see two figures standing on the doorsteps</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you remember the girl telling you about a password, but you cant remember what it is</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;walking up, one of the figures wearing a wrinkles black suit stops the group</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Answer, and the party is yours to attend.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what was that password?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you look the man over and see something red on his arm</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a red arm band</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;How many lives were lost in the Holocaust.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the group freezes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;god fucking dammit</span></div></div>
</div><h3><span class="mw-headline" id="4chan_University_-_3">4chan University - 3</span><a href="4chan_University_-_5#/editor/3" title="Edit section: 4chan University - 3" data-section="3" class="edit-page icon icon-32px icon-edit enabled">Edit</a></h3><div>
<div dir="ltr" class="mw-geshi mw-code mw-content-ltr"><div class="gettext source-gettext">&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Be Seamus</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Move-in day at 4chan U (Go Clovers!)</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;majoring in music</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;concentration: musical saw</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;arrive at your dorm, Blue Hall</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;long ass line to check in, stand behind a guy playing pokemon</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;guy gets in line behind you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wearing a trenchcoat, mask, and a fedroa</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he's holding a box of plastic-wrapped comics</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stare for a moment</span><br />&quot;Lemme guess, art major? Animation?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;N-no, undecided. I can never figure out if I want comics or movies. Comics are pure, but only please through sight. Animation dilutes the product, but engulfs sight, sound, smell, tassssste.&quot;</span><br />&quot;I hear ya. I've got all three Nolan Batman soundtracks on FLAC. Hans Zimmer nailed it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well if you like that, the 1989 Batman soundtrack was pretty good too. It really set the tone for every Batman movie after it. I'm Conrad&quot;</span><br />&quot;Seamus&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;finally get to the front of the line</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a guy with a headset is behind the desk</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hi, can I help you&quot;</span><br />&quot;I'm here to get my room assignment&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Name?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Seamus&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Okay Seamus, you're on the second flood, room /mu/. Will that be all?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yes, thank you.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;walk to the stairs humming the batman theme</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;all the dorms have different abbreviations on them</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;/3/, /a/, /c/, /g/</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;upstairs, all the doors have abbreviations as well</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;/adv/, /biz/, /co/</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you find your down the hall a ways, in between /mlp/ and /n/</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you unlock your room door and survey the scene</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a desk, a twin bed, a window, a closet, a bathroom you share with /n/</span><br />&quot;Just pretend you're living on the road. It's a cheap-ass hotel room you'll be stuck in for the next year.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you leave the room to go start getting things from your van</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;see Conrad walking into /co/</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Seamus!&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yo!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Nice! Same floor. He we ought to go check out the other dorm tonight. Red Dorm. That's where all the upperclassmen live. I bet they party hard.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Ehhhhh, I was thinking about...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What? Staying here and alphabetizing your record collection?&quot;</span><br />&quot;N-no!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;yes</span><br />&quot;Let me think about it. I still have a lot of setting up to do. I'll swing by later once I'm done.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Later tater!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;literally what</span><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're unloading dorm stuff from your van.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;gotta hurry before the notice you stole a dolly</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;record player, tube amp, boxes of records</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;fuck carrying all this</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ooohhh, neat van. How often do you pick up kids in it?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a young girls voice catches your ear</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you poke your heard out the back</span><br />&quot;what did you just say?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's in a purple dress with pigtails and a hat that says &quot;TOP KEK&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what the hell is TOP KEK?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what is a child doing here?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;why did she just insult your van?</span><br />&quot;I used this van to schlep around my stuff when I was in a band.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You play instruments? Can you play Wonderwall?</span><br />&quot;Why would I want to play that?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Because it's the best song ever! Duh.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Seriously, who's fucking kid is this</span><br />&quot;One, it's not. Two, I could play it but I don't want to.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I don't see a guitar. How can you play it if you don't have a guitar?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Hey I'm pretty busy trying to get my stuff out. Shouldn't you be with your parents saying good bye to your older brother or sister?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Nope, I go here. I kinda run the place really. Hey, check'em!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She spins her arms and finger-gun points at your license plate.</span><br />&quot;what&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Your license plate, it has dubs. You gotta check your dubs.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;an awkward silecence fills the air as you stare at this weird child</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's like she's speaking a langue that is indistinguishable English, but totally different all the same</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anyway, we're having a party over at Red Dorm tonight and we needed some music. Buuuuut, if you don't have a guitar, I guess you can't come.</span><br />&quot;Oh darn&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;B-but if you change your mind, the password is &quot;none&quot;.</span><br />&quot;I'll keep that in mind.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wheel your stuff back into the dorm but are stopped by the stairs</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;sonofabitch</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're tapped on the shoulder, hard</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a muscular dudebro in a tank-top that says &quot;GOMAD&quot; is behind you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;need help?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The german accent is thick but you get the message</span><br />&quot;I would love it&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;He takes the heaviest part as you both walk up the stairs</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You both make it up to the top and he sets it down</span><br />&quot;Thanks bro&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You too!&quot;</span><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Back in your room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;plug in record player and dig through record stash</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The Chronic</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;whynot.jpg</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the beats and rhymes fill the air as you work to set your new room just as you want it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're plotting how to ironically hang a Bob Marley poster when you hear a knock at the door</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you answer it to see a guy dressed head to toe in cycling gear carrying a bike</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey, I live next door. I'm Lance&quot;</span><br />&quot;Seamus.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I just got back from doing 20 miles and I heard the good tunes. You bike?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Not even a little.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well I thought I'd offer. If you ever change your mind, hit me up.&quot;</span><br />&quot;I will.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You going to the party next door?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Maybe, still working on getting things set up in here.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, if you do want to, I'm going over with a group at 9.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He carries his bike off to his room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You go and change the record to something less &quot;good&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven oughta dampen the mood around here.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Be Seamus</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've been lounging most of the day organizing and listening to records</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's 8pm, an hour before Lance heads to the party</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You get up and leave your room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wonder if Conrad is still going</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;maybe you can talk him into explaining Speed Force to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your other next door neighbor's door is cracked open</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;/mlp/</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you knock, being polite is the least you can do</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;come iiiiiiinnnnnn&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's a female voice, but at least this one is your age</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You step in, and are instantly overwhelmed in a flood of pastel colors</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ponies. The room is wall to wall with small colorful equines.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The girl sitting on the floor is wearing a fedora, scarf, white shirt, and blue jeans</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she's playing with several figurines</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You spend several moments taking in the room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;So are you my next door neighbor? The one playing the sad music?&quot;</span><br />&quot;That would be me, Seamus.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm Emily.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She gets up and enthusiastically shakes your hand</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh it's wonderful to make friends. Here, have a pony.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She hands you a grey figure holding a cello.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That's Octavia. She's a house musician for Princess Celestia.&quot;</span><br />&quot;She plays the cello with magic?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No silly *giggle*, just with her hooves. She's an earth pony. They can't use magic.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fascinating</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You inspect the pony for a few moments and put it in your pocket.</span><br />&quot;So you collect My Little Pony merch?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yeah, when I'm not watching the show, writing fics, arguing about the show online, or drawing pony art.&quot;</span><br />&quot;You really like ponies, don't you?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's the only thing I've ever been good at.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The awkwardness is heavy and permeating</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She sees you're nervous and adds</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Are you going to the party tonight?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Is that the only thing to do tonight? You're the fourth person to ask me.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I guess so. This is college after all. I'm going over with my brother Conrad.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Conrad is your brother? I met him earlier.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yeah but you wouldn't know it. Dude has no respect for my craft.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Man doesn't like My Little Pony. Film at 11.</span><br />&quot;As much as I enjoy hating everything that regular people like, I guess I'll go.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Sweet! We'll come get you when we go.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Cool, I'm gonna go wander for a bit.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;As you leave her room, you see a girl carrying a milk crate full of books</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As she opens the door, one falls off the top of the stack</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you rush to grab it for her as she closes the door</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;House of Leaves</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you knock on the door</span><br />&quot;Hey, you dropped your book.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she opens it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the ghost of David Foster Wallace appears</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You hand her the book</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she scowls at you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Have you ever read it?&quot;</span><br />&quot;House of Leaves? NO, but I have the companion album by Poe. I'm Seamus by the way.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Read it. Come back to me when you're done.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Uh okay. Unrelated question, when do you go on?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she stares</span><br />&quot;I mean the band, when do you go on? You're with the E Street Band right?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;more staring</span><br />&quot;YOUR BANDANNA. MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE. THE GUITARIST. FROM THE E STREET BAND. I AM MAKING FUN OF YOU!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;nothing</span><br />&quot;Okay, cool, well I'm gonna go read this. Your name was?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;door slams</span><br />&quot;Yeah, I am smooth as fuck.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;walk back to your room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;start reading House of Leaves</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hear Conrad next door</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You get up and examine yourself in the mirror</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;plaid shirt, corduroy pants</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;could be worse</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;walk out and run into Conrad along with a few other people you haven't met</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You coming to the par-tay bro.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Provided you don't do that again, sure.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Right.&quot;</span><br />&quot;So are we ready to head over?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Got one more guy coming&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Suddenly, voice appears behind you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Dr. Conrad, I'm CIA&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh good lord</span><br />Emily chimes in<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;He wasn't alone.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not you too</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a flood of spaghetti rushes past you as they complete the scene</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Lotta loyalty for a hired gun.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;new guy points a finger gun at you</span><br />&quot;Or perhaps he's wonder why you would shoot a man before throwing him out of a plane.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you put zero effort into the line</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Okay, he's cool. I'm Trevor.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Seamus.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you shake hands as the group moves towards the stairs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you get outside and start walking towards Red Dorm</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you get close, you see two figures standing on the doorsteps</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you remember the girl telling you about a password, but you cant remember what it is</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;walking up, one of the figures wearing a wrinkles black suit stops the group</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Answer, and the party is yours to attend.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what was that password?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you look the man over and see something red on his arm</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a red arm band</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;How many lives were lost in the Holocaust.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the group freezes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;god fucking dammit</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Be Seamus</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;standing outside of Red Dorm with the Autistic Avengers</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;suit guy at the door asks again</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;How many lives were lost in the holocaust&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're reminded of what the girl said</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;the password is none.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you groan</span><br />&quot;The answer you're looking for is 'none', correct?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;he stares you down</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;you may pass. I'm Poe.&quot;</span><br />&quot;You're a nazi&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;cuck&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;College is such a wonderful place.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You enter into the dorm and see that everyone is gathered in the common area.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's a bar with booze being handed out</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the small girl from before dances up to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey! Music man. Come here.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she drags you to the stereo before you can say no</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she stops the music and puts another CD in</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Do you like Huey Lewis and the News?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She does that finger gun point thing again at the stereo</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what hath god wrought</span><br />&quot;I'm going to need a beer before I can cope with this.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you wander over to the bar</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's a guy with a chef's hat passing out red cups</span><br />&quot;You got PBR?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;bartender stares you down</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I have a homebrewed IPA with subtle notes of lemon and basil. I also have trashcan punch.&quot;</span><br />&quot;You brought an IPA to a college party? Jesus, I thought I was pretentious.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Not Jesus, Chuck. You new here?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Seamus, and yeah just moved in today.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you shake hands</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, here, try the IPA.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he hands you a glass and you take a sip</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's like pine tar, with a splash of lemonade.</span><br />&quot;Well, it's something.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;come on back if you want anything else.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you will probably not</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Chuck turns to another customer</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you walk to the center of the room to get your bearings</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Emily and Conrad are standing in the corner</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Emily is staring off into the distance</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you look where she's looking</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;goddamn Medusa out of fuckin nowhere</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't decide whether to talk to her or call Perseus</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you walk over to them</span><br />&quot;I didn't know you we're into tentacles, Emily&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I just want to hold her hand.&quot;</span><br />&quot;What?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Uh, I mean, ew, no hooves.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Right</span><br />&quot;So, Conrad, who all do you know here?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;He looks around the room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;besides us, there's Usagi and Lily&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he points to two girls in high school uniforms sitting next to each other on the couch</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Sarah and Brandon&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a girl wearing a short skirt and tube top standing talking to a guy in a suit</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;in there corner is a guy in a ghillie suit with a fake rifle</span><br />&quot;Who's the guy in the full military gear&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That's Konner. I think he's in ROTC, which is weird because he only wears Rhodesian camo and pretends to speak broken english.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;God bless America</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you continue scanning the room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The 80's new wave is tearing at your soul</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's a door to a courtyard in the middle of the building</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you go through it hoping to get some air</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;outside you find two people, one with a camera and one with a magnifying glass.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the girl with the magnifying glass is crouched down looking at an ant mound</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the guy with the camera is taking artsy photos of her</span><br />&quot;If you're trying to get rid of the ants, might I recommend pesticide?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she turns and looks at you through the glass</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Why would I want to get rid of them? Ants are marvelous creatures.&quot;</span><br />&quot;maybe because they're crawling up your skirt and I bet a bite there looks worse than herpes.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she squeals and brushes the ants off her legs</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You look at the camera guy</span><br />&quot;Were you planning on telling her?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I wanted to capture the exact moment she felt that pain. And you took that from me.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stare</span><br />&quot;I'm very sorry I took that sadistic opportunity away from you. Can I make it up to you by driving you to the nursing home so you can film old people die?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;silence</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he takes your picture</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm Patrick, this is Annabelle.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Seamus.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;First time here a Red Hall?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yeah, it's a little much.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You'll get used to it. Even Keksandra grows on you.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Keksandra?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;The child prodigy. She's getting her masters in cultural communication.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you continue to stare, your mind slowly pieces the statement together.</span><br />&quot;Is, is that a degree on memes?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes. Yes it is. She teaches the into class.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Kornheiser_why.png</span><br />&quot;Is that why she's playing Huey Lewis and the News?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yeah she said some music major was supposed to come play some songs.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;fuck</span><br />&quot;I guess I had better figure out what she wants me to play&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you walk back in and see Keksandra holding an acoustic guitar</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Mister Music! We got you a guitar! You gotta play for us now!!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;everyone stares at you</span><br />&quot;You all seriously want me to play?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Da comrade, the child speaks of your vast abilities.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Everyone else nodded</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;everyone except the two schoolgirls on the couch, they were making out</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Conrad was them watching intently</span><br />&quot;Okay, I'll play a couple songs.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you adjust the strings and strum a couple chords</span><br />&quot;SO MUCH DRAMA IN LBC. IT'S KINDA HARD BEING SNOOP D-O-DOUBLE G&quot; <span class="br0">&#40;</span>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur1N3UyT1lE<span class="br0">&#41;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;everyone cheers and sings along</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;even Poe was nodding his head</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you finish the song give a bow</span></div></div>
</div><h3><span class="mw-headline" id="4chan_University_-_4">4chan University - 4</span><a href="4chan_University_-_5#/editor/4" title="Edit section: 4chan University - 4" data-section="4" class="edit-page icon icon-32px icon-edit enabled">Edit</a></h3><div>
<div dir="ltr" class="mw-geshi mw-code mw-content-ltr"><div class="gettext source-gettext">&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Be Seamus</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Move-in day at 4chan U (Go Clovers!)</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;majoring in music</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;concentration: musical saw</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;arrive at your dorm, Blue Hall</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;long ass line to check in, stand behind a guy playing pokemon</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;guy gets in line behind you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wearing a trenchcoat, mask, and a fedroa</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he's holding a box of plastic-wrapped comics</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stare for a moment</span><br />&quot;Lemme guess, art major? Animation?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;N-no, undecided. I can never figure out if I want comics or movies. Comics are pure, but only please through sight. Animation dilutes the product, but engulfs sight, sound, smell, tassssste.&quot;</span><br />&quot;I hear ya. I've got all three Nolan Batman soundtracks on FLAC. Hans Zimmer nailed it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well if you like that, the 1989 Batman soundtrack was pretty good too. It really set the tone for every Batman movie after it. I'm Conrad&quot;</span><br />&quot;Seamus&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;finally get to the front of the line</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a guy with a headset is behind the desk</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hi, can I help you&quot;</span><br />&quot;I'm here to get my room assignment&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Name?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Seamus&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Okay Seamus, you're on the second flood, room /mu/. Will that be all?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yes, thank you.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;walk to the stairs humming the batman theme</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;all the dorms have different abbreviations on them</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;/3/, /a/, /c/, /g/</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;upstairs, all the doors have abbreviations as well</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;/adv/, /biz/, /co/</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you find your down the hall a ways, in between /mlp/ and /n/</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you unlock your room door and survey the scene</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a desk, a twin bed, a window, a closet, a bathroom you share with /n/</span><br />&quot;Just pretend you're living on the road. It's a cheap-ass hotel room you'll be stuck in for the next year.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you leave the room to go start getting things from your van</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;see Conrad walking into /co/</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Seamus!&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yo!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Nice! Same floor. He we ought to go check out the other dorm tonight. Red Dorm. That's where all the upperclassmen live. I bet they party hard.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Ehhhhh, I was thinking about...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What? Staying here and alphabetizing your record collection?&quot;</span><br />&quot;N-no!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;yes</span><br />&quot;Let me think about it. I still have a lot of setting up to do. I'll swing by later once I'm done.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Later tater!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;literally what</span><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're unloading dorm stuff from your van.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;gotta hurry before the notice you stole a dolly</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;record player, tube amp, boxes of records</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;fuck carrying all this</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ooohhh, neat van. How often do you pick up kids in it?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a young girls voice catches your ear</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you poke your heard out the back</span><br />&quot;what did you just say?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's in a purple dress with pigtails and a hat that says &quot;TOP KEK&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what the hell is TOP KEK?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what is a child doing here?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;why did she just insult your van?</span><br />&quot;I used this van to schlep around my stuff when I was in a band.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You play instruments? Can you play Wonderwall?</span><br />&quot;Why would I want to play that?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Because it's the best song ever! Duh.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Seriously, who's fucking kid is this</span><br />&quot;One, it's not. Two, I could play it but I don't want to.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I don't see a guitar. How can you play it if you don't have a guitar?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Hey I'm pretty busy trying to get my stuff out. Shouldn't you be with your parents saying good bye to your older brother or sister?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Nope, I go here. I kinda run the place really. Hey, check'em!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She spins her arms and finger-gun points at your license plate.</span><br />&quot;what&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Your license plate, it has dubs. You gotta check your dubs.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;an awkward silecence fills the air as you stare at this weird child</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's like she's speaking a langue that is indistinguishable English, but totally different all the same</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anyway, we're having a party over at Red Dorm tonight and we needed some music. Buuuuut, if you don't have a guitar, I guess you can't come.</span><br />&quot;Oh darn&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;B-but if you change your mind, the password is &quot;none&quot;.</span><br />&quot;I'll keep that in mind.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wheel your stuff back into the dorm but are stopped by the stairs</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;sonofabitch</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're tapped on the shoulder, hard</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a muscular dudebro in a tank-top that says &quot;GOMAD&quot; is behind you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;need help?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The german accent is thick but you get the message</span><br />&quot;I would love it&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;He takes the heaviest part as you both walk up the stairs</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You both make it up to the top and he sets it down</span><br />&quot;Thanks bro&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You too!&quot;</span><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Back in your room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;plug in record player and dig through record stash</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The Chronic</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;whynot.jpg</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the beats and rhymes fill the air as you work to set your new room just as you want it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're plotting how to ironically hang a Bob Marley poster when you hear a knock at the door</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you answer it to see a guy dressed head to toe in cycling gear carrying a bike</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey, I live next door. I'm Lance&quot;</span><br />&quot;Seamus.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I just got back from doing 20 miles and I heard the good tunes. You bike?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Not even a little.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well I thought I'd offer. If you ever change your mind, hit me up.&quot;</span><br />&quot;I will.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You going to the party next door?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Maybe, still working on getting things set up in here.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, if you do want to, I'm going over with a group at 9.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He carries his bike off to his room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You go and change the record to something less &quot;good&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven oughta dampen the mood around here.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Be Seamus</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've been lounging most of the day organizing and listening to records</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's 8pm, an hour before Lance heads to the party</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You get up and leave your room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wonder if Conrad is still going</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;maybe you can talk him into explaining Speed Force to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your other next door neighbor's door is cracked open</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;/mlp/</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you knock, being polite is the least you can do</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;come iiiiiiinnnnnn&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's a female voice, but at least this one is your age</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You step in, and are instantly overwhelmed in a flood of pastel colors</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ponies. The room is wall to wall with small colorful equines.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The girl sitting on the floor is wearing a fedora, scarf, white shirt, and blue jeans</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she's playing with several figurines</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You spend several moments taking in the room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;So are you my next door neighbor? The one playing the sad music?&quot;</span><br />&quot;That would be me, Seamus.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm Emily.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She gets up and enthusiastically shakes your hand</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh it's wonderful to make friends. Here, have a pony.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She hands you a grey figure holding a cello.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That's Octavia. She's a house musician for Princess Celestia.&quot;</span><br />&quot;She plays the cello with magic?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No silly *giggle*, just with her hooves. She's an earth pony. They can't use magic.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fascinating</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You inspect the pony for a few moments and put it in your pocket.</span><br />&quot;So you collect My Little Pony merch?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yeah, when I'm not watching the show, writing fics, arguing about the show online, or drawing pony art.&quot;</span><br />&quot;You really like ponies, don't you?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's the only thing I've ever been good at.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The awkwardness is heavy and permeating</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She sees you're nervous and adds</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Are you going to the party tonight?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Is that the only thing to do tonight? You're the fourth person to ask me.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I guess so. This is college after all. I'm going over with my brother Conrad.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Conrad is your brother? I met him earlier.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yeah but you wouldn't know it. Dude has no respect for my craft.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Man doesn't like My Little Pony. Film at 11.</span><br />&quot;As much as I enjoy hating everything that regular people like, I guess I'll go.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Sweet! We'll come get you when we go.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Cool, I'm gonna go wander for a bit.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;As you leave her room, you see a girl carrying a milk crate full of books</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As she opens the door, one falls off the top of the stack</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you rush to grab it for her as she closes the door</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;House of Leaves</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you knock on the door</span><br />&quot;Hey, you dropped your book.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she opens it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the ghost of David Foster Wallace appears</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You hand her the book</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she scowls at you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Have you ever read it?&quot;</span><br />&quot;House of Leaves? NO, but I have the companion album by Poe. I'm Seamus by the way.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Read it. Come back to me when you're done.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Uh okay. Unrelated question, when do you go on?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she stares</span><br />&quot;I mean the band, when do you go on? You're with the E Street Band right?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;more staring</span><br />&quot;YOUR BANDANNA. MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE. THE GUITARIST. FROM THE E STREET BAND. I AM MAKING FUN OF YOU!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;nothing</span><br />&quot;Okay, cool, well I'm gonna go read this. Your name was?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;door slams</span><br />&quot;Yeah, I am smooth as fuck.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;walk back to your room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;start reading House of Leaves</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hear Conrad next door</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You get up and examine yourself in the mirror</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;plaid shirt, corduroy pants</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;could be worse</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;walk out and run into Conrad along with a few other people you haven't met</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You coming to the par-tay bro.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Provided you don't do that again, sure.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Right.&quot;</span><br />&quot;So are we ready to head over?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Got one more guy coming&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Suddenly, voice appears behind you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Dr. Conrad, I'm CIA&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh good lord</span><br />Emily chimes in<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;He wasn't alone.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not you too</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a flood of spaghetti rushes past you as they complete the scene</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Lotta loyalty for a hired gun.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;new guy points a finger gun at you</span><br />&quot;Or perhaps he's wonder why you would shoot a man before throwing him out of a plane.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you put zero effort into the line</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Okay, he's cool. I'm Trevor.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Seamus.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you shake hands as the group moves towards the stairs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you get outside and start walking towards Red Dorm</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you get close, you see two figures standing on the doorsteps</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you remember the girl telling you about a password, but you cant remember what it is</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;walking up, one of the figures wearing a wrinkles black suit stops the group</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Answer, and the party is yours to attend.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what was that password?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you look the man over and see something red on his arm</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a red arm band</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;How many lives were lost in the Holocaust.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the group freezes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;god fucking dammit</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Be Seamus</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;standing outside of Red Dorm with the Autistic Avengers</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;suit guy at the door asks again</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;How many lives were lost in the holocaust&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're reminded of what the girl said</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;the password is none.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you groan</span><br />&quot;The answer you're looking for is 'none', correct?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;he stares you down</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;you may pass. I'm Poe.&quot;</span><br />&quot;You're a nazi&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;cuck&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;College is such a wonderful place.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You enter into the dorm and see that everyone is gathered in the common area.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's a bar with booze being handed out</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the small girl from before dances up to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey! Music man. Come here.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she drags you to the stereo before you can say no</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she stops the music and puts another CD in</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Do you like Huey Lewis and the News?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She does that finger gun point thing again at the stereo</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what hath god wrought</span><br />&quot;I'm going to need a beer before I can cope with this.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you wander over to the bar</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's a guy with a chef's hat passing out red cups</span><br />&quot;You got PBR?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;bartender stares you down</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I have a homebrewed IPA with subtle notes of lemon and basil. I also have trashcan punch.&quot;</span><br />&quot;You brought an IPA to a college party? Jesus, I thought I was pretentious.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Not Jesus, Chuck. You new here?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Seamus, and yeah just moved in today.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you shake hands</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, here, try the IPA.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he hands you a glass and you take a sip</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's like pine tar, with a splash of lemonade.</span><br />&quot;Well, it's something.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;come on back if you want anything else.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you will probably not</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Chuck turns to another customer</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you walk to the center of the room to get your bearings</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Emily and Conrad are standing in the corner</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Emily is staring off into the distance</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you look where she's looking</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;goddamn Medusa out of fuckin nowhere</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't decide whether to talk to her or call Perseus</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you walk over to them</span><br />&quot;I didn't know you we're into tentacles, Emily&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I just want to hold her hand.&quot;</span><br />&quot;What?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Uh, I mean, ew, no hooves.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Right</span><br />&quot;So, Conrad, who all do you know here?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;He looks around the room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;besides us, there's Usagi and Lily&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he points to two girls in high school uniforms sitting next to each other on the couch</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Sarah and Brandon&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a girl wearing a short skirt and tube top standing talking to a guy in a suit</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;in there corner is a guy in a ghillie suit with a fake rifle</span><br />&quot;Who's the guy in the full military gear&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That's Konner. I think he's in ROTC, which is weird because he only wears Rhodesian camo and pretends to speak broken english.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;God bless America</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you continue scanning the room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The 80's new wave is tearing at your soul</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's a door to a courtyard in the middle of the building</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you go through it hoping to get some air</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;outside you find two people, one with a camera and one with a magnifying glass.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the girl with the magnifying glass is crouched down looking at an ant mound</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the guy with the camera is taking artsy photos of her</span><br />&quot;If you're trying to get rid of the ants, might I recommend pesticide?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she turns and looks at you through the glass</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Why would I want to get rid of them? Ants are marvelous creatures.&quot;</span><br />&quot;maybe because they're crawling up your skirt and I bet a bite there looks worse than herpes.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she squeals and brushes the ants off her legs</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You look at the camera guy</span><br />&quot;Were you planning on telling her?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I wanted to capture the exact moment she felt that pain. And you took that from me.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stare</span><br />&quot;I'm very sorry I took that sadistic opportunity away from you. Can I make it up to you by driving you to the nursing home so you can film old people die?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;silence</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he takes your picture</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm Patrick, this is Annabelle.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Seamus.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;First time here a Red Hall?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yeah, it's a little much.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You'll get used to it. Even Keksandra grows on you.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Keksandra?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;The child prodigy. She's getting her masters in cultural communication.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you continue to stare, your mind slowly pieces the statement together.</span><br />&quot;Is, is that a degree on memes?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes. Yes it is. She teaches the into class.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Kornheiser_why.png</span><br />&quot;Is that why she's playing Huey Lewis and the News?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yeah she said some music major was supposed to come play some songs.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;fuck</span><br />&quot;I guess I had better figure out what she wants me to play&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you walk back in and see Keksandra holding an acoustic guitar</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Mister Music! We got you a guitar! You gotta play for us now!!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;everyone stares at you</span><br />&quot;You all seriously want me to play?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Da comrade, the child speaks of your vast abilities.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Everyone else nodded</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;everyone except the two schoolgirls on the couch, they were making out</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Conrad was them watching intently</span><br />&quot;Okay, I'll play a couple songs.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you adjust the strings and strum a couple chords</span><br />&quot;SO MUCH DRAMA IN LBC. IT'S KINDA HARD BEING SNOOP D-O-DOUBLE G&quot; <span class="br0">&#40;</span>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur1N3UyT1lE<span class="br0">&#41;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;everyone cheers and sings along</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;even Poe was nodding his head</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you finish the song give a bow</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;be Seamus</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;just finished an improptu concert at Red Hall</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;everyone liked it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you suppress an urge to play Oh Comely to make them take back their applause</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;taking off the guitar, you hand it back to Keksandra</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I expected something danker, but that was a soft 7.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;glaring intensifies</span><br />&quot;Okay Kekthony Sandratano&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she runs off</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Conrad comes up to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;dude that was tits! Nice job. Did you play in a band.&quot;</span><br />&quot;sort of, but I didn't play guitar. I'm more into appreciating art than creating it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I gotcha. So you see anyone cute?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you look around the room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Emily is still in the corner staring at the medusa</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The sisters are giggling to each other while another girl listens</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a cute girl walks through the door of the common room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;cute sailor-esque dress, curly brown pig tails in her hair.</span><br />&quot;Who the hell is that?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;that's Ayunami's sister, Chiyo.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Dibs&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she could be the groupie you swore you never wanted</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;tfw you'll never listen to records while she asks you why you like songs about Anne Frank and incest</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;conrad starts to protest but remains silent</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;HEY Huey! Huey! Huey!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a shrill voice reaches your ears</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Keksandra is yelling and running around looking for someone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she grabs your arm</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;There you are Huey!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;staring</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;your new nickname is Huey. Like Huey Lewis and the News! I named you after the best band ever.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you recoil in horror</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;let's go meet people Huey!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;groan</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she parades you around the room introducing you to other students</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stop in front of a tall skinny guy in a greasy shirt and the longest neckbeard you've ever seen</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Huey, this is Tyler. He runs the DnD campaign for the dorm. He also has a huge collection of toy soldiers.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Tyler clears his throat</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Actually, you may call me Teeg. And they're not toy soldiers, they're tabletop miniatures. I specialize in tradi...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;that's probably what he said</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're too entranced by the crumbs in his beard</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;They float effortlessly in a tangle of matted hair</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;like stars in a picture of space</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;And that's why I play Warmachine and not pleb-tier Warhammer. Do you game, Seamus?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Uhh, Monopoly?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;he stares</span><br />&quot;Okay, well it was great to meet you. I'll hit you up if I want to play DnD sometime.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Keksandra moves you to the couch</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;This is Haruhi. She's an art major.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Keksandra points to a girl in short pleated skirt, thigh-highs, and a tight blouse</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Haruhi shakes your hand</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I major in the best porn&quot;</span><br />&quot;What kind of porn is 'the best porn'?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;The best porn is the one that gets you off&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;majestic</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Keksandra points to the two other girls on the couch</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That's Usagi and Lily. They're super gay.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Super duper gay&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;they spoke at the same time</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;terrifying</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you look around for the cute girl, Chiyo.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;shes up getting a drink</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;is she even legal to drink?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;let's go find out</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;keksandra grabs your arm</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You want me to introduce you to Chiyo? She's a freshman too.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Why are you being so nice to me?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You got dubs. I have to respect the dubs.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this tiny meme-addicted child could teach you a few things</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but for now, time to talk to a girl</span><br />&quot;Lead the way&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she takes your hand and leads you to the Chiyo</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;right as you get next to her, Keksandra taps her on the shoulder</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Have you met Seamus?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she runs off</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;bitch</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hi Seamus, I'm I'm Chiyo.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;her voice is soft and angelic</span><br />&quot;H-hi. Did you c-catch my song?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;spaghetti is in your pockets</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You were the one playing? You had just finished when I got here.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Y-yeah. Keksandra convinced me to play.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Who?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;goddammit</span><br />&quot;The small girl running around here, somewhere. It's not important.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;palms soaked</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;will Chuck steal your spaghetti for pasta night?</span><br />&quot;What kind of music do you like?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Whatever's on the radio, at a comfortable volume</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;screams internally</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she sees your displeasure and starts giggling</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Only joking. I like like emo mostly. With a little bit of punk on top.&quot;</span><br />&quot;My Chemical Romance emo or American Football emo?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;American Football is pleb-tier. I like Sunny Day Real Estate.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;more sweating</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;more spaghetti</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;is your nose bleeding</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;shes giggling again</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I don't suppose you're called a pleb very often Mr. Seamus?&quot;</span><br />&quot;I pride myself on having an extra-obnoxious opinion about music.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well maybe you can show me your record collection sometime.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Only if I can see your art collection.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh you wouldn't like my art. I'm not very good.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she blushes and looks down</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;now shes the one with spaghetti</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;too fucking cute</span><br />&quot;I doubt that very much. What do you draw?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Cute things.&quot;</span><br />&quot;I like cute things, like you.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she goes red</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you go red</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;spaghetti fills the room</span></div></div>
</div><h3><span class="mw-headline" id="4chan_University_-_5">4chan University - 5</span><a href="4chan_University_-_5#/editor/5" title="Edit section: 4chan University - 5" data-section="5" class="edit-page icon icon-32px icon-edit enabled">Edit</a></h3><div>
<div dir="ltr" class="mw-geshi mw-code mw-content-ltr"><div class="gettext source-gettext">&#160;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Be Seamus</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Move-in day at 4chan U (Go Clovers!)</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;majoring in music</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;concentration: musical saw</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;arrive at your dorm, Blue Hall</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;long ass line to check in, stand behind a guy playing pokemon</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;guy gets in line behind you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;wearing a trenchcoat, mask, and a fedroa</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he's holding a box of plastic-wrapped comics</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stare for a moment</span><br />&quot;Lemme guess, art major? Animation?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;N-no, undecided. I can never figure out if I want comics or movies. Comics are pure, but only please through sight. Animation dilutes the product, but engulfs sight, sound, smell, tassssste.&quot;</span><br />&quot;I hear ya. I've got all three Nolan Batman soundtracks on FLAC. Hans Zimmer nailed it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well if you like that, the 1989 Batman soundtrack was pretty good too. It really set the tone for every Batman movie after it. I'm Conrad&quot;</span><br />&quot;Seamus&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;finally get to the front of the line</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a guy with a headset is behind the desk</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hi, can I help you&quot;</span><br />&quot;I'm here to get my room assignment&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Name?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Seamus&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Okay Seamus, you're on the second flood, room /mu/. Will that be all?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yes, thank you.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;walk to the stairs humming the batman theme</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;all the dorms have different abbreviations on them</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;/3/, /a/, /c/, /g/</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;upstairs, all the doors have abbreviations as well</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;/adv/, /biz/, /co/</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you find your down the hall a ways, in between /mlp/ and /n/</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you unlock your room door and survey the scene</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a desk, a twin bed, a window, a closet, a bathroom you share with /n/</span><br />&quot;Just pretend you're living on the road. It's a cheap-ass hotel room you'll be stuck in for the next year.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you leave the room to go start getting things from your van</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;see Conrad walking into /co/</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Seamus!&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yo!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Nice! Same floor. He we ought to go check out the other dorm tonight. Red Dorm. That's where all the upperclassmen live. I bet they party hard.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Ehhhhh, I was thinking about...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What? Staying here and alphabetizing your record collection?&quot;</span><br />&quot;N-no!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;yes</span><br />&quot;Let me think about it. I still have a lot of setting up to do. I'll swing by later once I'm done.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Later tater!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;literally what</span><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're unloading dorm stuff from your van.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;gotta hurry before the notice you stole a dolly</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;record player, tube amp, boxes of records</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;fuck carrying all this</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Ooohhh, neat van. How often do you pick up kids in it?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a young girls voice catches your ear</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you poke your heard out the back</span><br />&quot;what did you just say?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She's in a purple dress with pigtails and a hat that says &quot;TOP KEK&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what the hell is TOP KEK?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what is a child doing here?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;why did she just insult your van?</span><br />&quot;I used this van to schlep around my stuff when I was in a band.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You play instruments? Can you play Wonderwall?</span><br />&quot;Why would I want to play that?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Because it's the best song ever! Duh.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Seriously, who's fucking kid is this</span><br />&quot;One, it's not. Two, I could play it but I don't want to.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I don't see a guitar. How can you play it if you don't have a guitar?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Hey I'm pretty busy trying to get my stuff out. Shouldn't you be with your parents saying good bye to your older brother or sister?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Nope, I go here. I kinda run the place really. Hey, check'em!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She spins her arms and finger-gun points at your license plate.</span><br />&quot;what&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Your license plate, it has dubs. You gotta check your dubs.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;an awkward silecence fills the air as you stare at this weird child</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's like she's speaking a langue that is indistinguishable English, but totally different all the same</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Anyway, we're having a party over at Red Dorm tonight and we needed some music. Buuuuut, if you don't have a guitar, I guess you can't come.</span><br />&quot;Oh darn&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;B-but if you change your mind, the password is &quot;none&quot;.</span><br />&quot;I'll keep that in mind.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wheel your stuff back into the dorm but are stopped by the stairs</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;sonofabitch</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're tapped on the shoulder, hard</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a muscular dudebro in a tank-top that says &quot;GOMAD&quot; is behind you.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;need help?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The german accent is thick but you get the message</span><br />&quot;I would love it&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;He takes the heaviest part as you both walk up the stairs</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You both make it up to the top and he sets it down</span><br />&quot;Thanks bro&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You too!&quot;</span><br /><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Back in your room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;plug in record player and dig through record stash</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The Chronic</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;whynot.jpg</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the beats and rhymes fill the air as you work to set your new room just as you want it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're plotting how to ironically hang a Bob Marley poster when you hear a knock at the door</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you answer it to see a guy dressed head to toe in cycling gear carrying a bike</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey, I live next door. I'm Lance&quot;</span><br />&quot;Seamus.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I just got back from doing 20 miles and I heard the good tunes. You bike?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Not even a little.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well I thought I'd offer. If you ever change your mind, hit me up.&quot;</span><br />&quot;I will.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You going to the party next door?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Maybe, still working on getting things set up in here.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, if you do want to, I'm going over with a group at 9.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He carries his bike off to his room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You go and change the record to something less &quot;good&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven oughta dampen the mood around here.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Be Seamus</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you've been lounging most of the day organizing and listening to records</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's 8pm, an hour before Lance heads to the party</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You get up and leave your room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You wonder if Conrad is still going</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;maybe you can talk him into explaining Speed Force to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Your other next door neighbor's door is cracked open</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;/mlp/</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you knock, being polite is the least you can do</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;come iiiiiiinnnnnn&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's a female voice, but at least this one is your age</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You step in, and are instantly overwhelmed in a flood of pastel colors</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ponies. The room is wall to wall with small colorful equines.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The girl sitting on the floor is wearing a fedora, scarf, white shirt, and blue jeans</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she's playing with several figurines</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You spend several moments taking in the room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;So are you my next door neighbor? The one playing the sad music?&quot;</span><br />&quot;That would be me, Seamus.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm Emily.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She gets up and enthusiastically shakes your hand</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh it's wonderful to make friends. Here, have a pony.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She hands you a grey figure holding a cello.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That's Octavia. She's a house musician for Princess Celestia.&quot;</span><br />&quot;She plays the cello with magic?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No silly *giggle*, just with her hooves. She's an earth pony. They can't use magic.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Fascinating</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You inspect the pony for a few moments and put it in your pocket.</span><br />&quot;So you collect My Little Pony merch?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yeah, when I'm not watching the show, writing fics, arguing about the show online, or drawing pony art.&quot;</span><br />&quot;You really like ponies, don't you?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;It's the only thing I've ever been good at.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The awkwardness is heavy and permeating</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She sees you're nervous and adds</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Are you going to the party tonight?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Is that the only thing to do tonight? You're the fourth person to ask me.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I guess so. This is college after all. I'm going over with my brother Conrad.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Conrad is your brother? I met him earlier.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yeah but you wouldn't know it. Dude has no respect for my craft.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Man doesn't like My Little Pony. Film at 11.</span><br />&quot;As much as I enjoy hating everything that regular people like, I guess I'll go.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Sweet! We'll come get you when we go.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Cool, I'm gonna go wander for a bit.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;As you leave her room, you see a girl carrying a milk crate full of books</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;As she opens the door, one falls off the top of the stack</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you rush to grab it for her as she closes the door</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;House of Leaves</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you knock on the door</span><br />&quot;Hey, you dropped your book.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she opens it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the ghost of David Foster Wallace appears</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You hand her the book</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she scowls at you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Have you ever read it?&quot;</span><br />&quot;House of Leaves? NO, but I have the companion album by Poe. I'm Seamus by the way.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Read it. Come back to me when you're done.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Uh okay. Unrelated question, when do you go on?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she stares</span><br />&quot;I mean the band, when do you go on? You're with the E Street Band right?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;more staring</span><br />&quot;YOUR BANDANNA. MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE. THE GUITARIST. FROM THE E STREET BAND. I AM MAKING FUN OF YOU!&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;nothing</span><br />&quot;Okay, cool, well I'm gonna go read this. Your name was?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;door slams</span><br />&quot;Yeah, I am smooth as fuck.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;walk back to your room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;start reading House of Leaves</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you hear Conrad next door</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You get up and examine yourself in the mirror</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;plaid shirt, corduroy pants</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;could be worse</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;walk out and run into Conrad along with a few other people you haven't met</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You coming to the par-tay bro.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Provided you don't do that again, sure.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Right.&quot;</span><br />&quot;So are we ready to head over?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Got one more guy coming&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Suddenly, voice appears behind you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Dr. Conrad, I'm CIA&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;oh good lord</span><br />Emily chimes in<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;He wasn't alone.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Not you too</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a flood of spaghetti rushes past you as they complete the scene</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Lotta loyalty for a hired gun.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;new guy points a finger gun at you</span><br />&quot;Or perhaps he's wonder why you would shoot a man before throwing him out of a plane.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you put zero effort into the line</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Okay, he's cool. I'm Trevor.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Seamus.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you shake hands as the group moves towards the stairs.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you get outside and start walking towards Red Dorm</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;When you get close, you see two figures standing on the doorsteps</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you remember the girl telling you about a password, but you cant remember what it is</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;walking up, one of the figures wearing a wrinkles black suit stops the group</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Answer, and the party is yours to attend.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what was that password?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you look the man over and see something red on his arm</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a red arm band</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;How many lives were lost in the Holocaust.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the group freezes</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;god fucking dammit</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Be Seamus</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;standing outside of Red Dorm with the Autistic Avengers</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;suit guy at the door asks again</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;How many lives were lost in the holocaust&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're reminded of what the girl said</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;the password is none.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you groan</span><br />&quot;The answer you're looking for is 'none', correct?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;he stares you down</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;you may pass. I'm Poe.&quot;</span><br />&quot;You're a nazi&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;cuck&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;College is such a wonderful place.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You enter into the dorm and see that everyone is gathered in the common area.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's a bar with booze being handed out</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the small girl from before dances up to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey! Music man. Come here.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she drags you to the stereo before you can say no</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she stops the music and puts another CD in</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Do you like Huey Lewis and the News?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She does that finger gun point thing again at the stereo</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;what hath god wrought</span><br />&quot;I'm going to need a beer before I can cope with this.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you wander over to the bar</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's a guy with a chef's hat passing out red cups</span><br />&quot;You got PBR?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;bartender stares you down</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I have a homebrewed IPA with subtle notes of lemon and basil. I also have trashcan punch.&quot;</span><br />&quot;You brought an IPA to a college party? Jesus, I thought I was pretentious.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Not Jesus, Chuck. You new here?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Seamus, and yeah just moved in today.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you shake hands</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well, here, try the IPA.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he hands you a glass and you take a sip</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;It's like pine tar, with a splash of lemonade.</span><br />&quot;Well, it's something.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;come on back if you want anything else.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you will probably not</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Chuck turns to another customer</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you walk to the center of the room to get your bearings</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Emily and Conrad are standing in the corner</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Emily is staring off into the distance</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you look where she's looking</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;goddamn Medusa out of fuckin nowhere</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You can't decide whether to talk to her or call Perseus</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you walk over to them</span><br />&quot;I didn't know you we're into tentacles, Emily&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I just want to hold her hand.&quot;</span><br />&quot;What?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Uh, I mean, ew, no hooves.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Right</span><br />&quot;So, Conrad, who all do you know here?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;He looks around the room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;besides us, there's Usagi and Lily&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he points to two girls in high school uniforms sitting next to each other on the couch</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Sarah and Brandon&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a girl wearing a short skirt and tube top standing talking to a guy in a suit</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;in there corner is a guy in a ghillie suit with a fake rifle</span><br />&quot;Who's the guy in the full military gear&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That's Konner. I think he's in ROTC, which is weird because he only wears Rhodesian camo and pretends to speak broken english.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;God bless America</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you continue scanning the room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The 80's new wave is tearing at your soul</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;There's a door to a courtyard in the middle of the building</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you go through it hoping to get some air</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;outside you find two people, one with a camera and one with a magnifying glass.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the girl with the magnifying glass is crouched down looking at an ant mound</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;the guy with the camera is taking artsy photos of her</span><br />&quot;If you're trying to get rid of the ants, might I recommend pesticide?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she turns and looks at you through the glass</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Why would I want to get rid of them? Ants are marvelous creatures.&quot;</span><br />&quot;maybe because they're crawling up your skirt and I bet a bite there looks worse than herpes.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she squeals and brushes the ants off her legs</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You look at the camera guy</span><br />&quot;Were you planning on telling her?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I wanted to capture the exact moment she felt that pain. And you took that from me.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stare</span><br />&quot;I'm very sorry I took that sadistic opportunity away from you. Can I make it up to you by driving you to the nursing home so you can film old people die?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;silence</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;he takes your picture</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm Patrick, this is Annabelle.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Seamus.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;First time here a Red Hall?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Yeah, it's a little much.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You'll get used to it. Even Keksandra grows on you.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Keksandra?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;The child prodigy. She's getting her masters in cultural communication.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you continue to stare, your mind slowly pieces the statement together.</span><br />&quot;Is, is that a degree on memes?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes. Yes it is. She teaches the into class.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Kornheiser_why.png</span><br />&quot;Is that why she's playing Huey Lewis and the News?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yeah she said some music major was supposed to come play some songs.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;fuck</span><br />&quot;I guess I had better figure out what she wants me to play&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you walk back in and see Keksandra holding an acoustic guitar</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Mister Music! We got you a guitar! You gotta play for us now!!!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;everyone stares at you</span><br />&quot;You all seriously want me to play?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Da comrade, the child speaks of your vast abilities.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Everyone else nodded</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;everyone except the two schoolgirls on the couch, they were making out</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Conrad was them watching intently</span><br />&quot;Okay, I'll play a couple songs.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you adjust the strings and strum a couple chords</span><br />&quot;SO MUCH DRAMA IN LBC. IT'S KINDA HARD BEING SNOOP D-O-DOUBLE G&quot; <span class="br0">&#40;</span>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ur1N3UyT1lE<span class="br0">&#41;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;everyone cheers and sings along</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;even Poe was nodding his head</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you finish the song give a bow</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;be Seamus</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;just finished an improptu concert at Red Hall</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;everyone liked it</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you suppress an urge to play Oh Comely to make them take back their applause</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;taking off the guitar, you hand it back to Keksandra</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I expected something danker, but that was a soft 7.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;glaring intensifies</span><br />&quot;Okay Kekthony Sandratano&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she runs off</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Conrad comes up to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;dude that was tits! Nice job. Did you play in a band.&quot;</span><br />&quot;sort of, but I didn't play guitar. I'm more into appreciating art than creating it.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I gotcha. So you see anyone cute?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you look around the room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Emily is still in the corner staring at the medusa</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The sisters are giggling to each other while another girl listens</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a cute girl walks through the door of the common room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;cute sailor-esque dress, curly brown pig tails in her hair.</span><br />&quot;Who the hell is that?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;that's Ayunami's sister, Chiyo.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Dibs&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she could be the groupie you swore you never wanted</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;tfw you'll never listen to records while she asks you why you like songs about Anne Frank and incest</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;conrad starts to protest but remains silent</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;HEY Huey! Huey! Huey!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a shrill voice reaches your ears</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Keksandra is yelling and running around looking for someone</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she grabs your arm</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;There you are Huey!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;staring</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;your new nickname is Huey. Like Huey Lewis and the News! I named you after the best band ever.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you recoil in horror</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;let's go meet people Huey!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;groan</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she parades you around the room introducing you to other students</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stop in front of a tall skinny guy in a greasy shirt and the longest neckbeard you've ever seen</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Huey, this is Tyler. He runs the DnD campaign for the dorm. He also has a huge collection of toy soldiers.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Tyler clears his throat</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Actually, you may call me Teeg. And they're not toy soldiers, they're tabletop miniatures. I specialize in tradi...&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;that's probably what he said</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You're too entranced by the crumbs in his beard</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;They float effortlessly in a tangle of matted hair</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;like stars in a picture of space</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;And that's why I play Warmachine and not pleb-tier Warhammer. Do you game, Seamus?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Uhh, Monopoly?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;he stares</span><br />&quot;Okay, well it was great to meet you. I'll hit you up if I want to play DnD sometime.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Keksandra moves you to the couch</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;This is Haruhi. She's an art major.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Keksandra points to a girl in short pleated skirt, thigh-highs, and a tight blouse</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Haruhi shakes your hand</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I major in the best porn&quot;</span><br />&quot;What kind of porn is 'the best porn'?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;The best porn is the one that gets you off&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;majestic</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Keksandra points to the two other girls on the couch</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That's Usagi and Lily. They're super gay.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Super duper gay&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;they spoke at the same time</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;terrifying</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you look around for the cute girl, Chiyo.</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;shes up getting a drink</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;is she even legal to drink?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;let's go find out</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;keksandra grabs your arm</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You want me to introduce you to Chiyo? She's a freshman too.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Why are you being so nice to me?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You got dubs. I have to respect the dubs.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this tiny meme-addicted child could teach you a few things</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;but for now, time to talk to a girl</span><br />&quot;Lead the way&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she takes your hand and leads you to the Chiyo</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;right as you get next to her, Keksandra taps her on the shoulder</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Have you met Seamus?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she runs off</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;bitch</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hi Seamus, I'm I'm Chiyo.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;her voice is soft and angelic</span><br />&quot;H-hi. Did you c-catch my song?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;spaghetti is in your pockets</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You were the one playing? You had just finished when I got here.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Y-yeah. Keksandra convinced me to play.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Who?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;goddammit</span><br />&quot;The small girl running around here, somewhere. It's not important.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;palms soaked</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;will Chuck steal your spaghetti for pasta night?</span><br />&quot;What kind of music do you like?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Whatever's on the radio, at a comfortable volume</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;screams internally</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she sees your displeasure and starts giggling</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Only joking. I like like emo mostly. With a little bit of punk on top.&quot;</span><br />&quot;My Chemical Romance emo or American Football emo?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;American Football is pleb-tier. I like Sunny Day Real Estate.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;more sweating</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;more spaghetti</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;is your nose bleeding</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;shes giggling again</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I don't suppose you're called a pleb very often Mr. Seamus?&quot;</span><br />&quot;I pride myself on having an extra-obnoxious opinion about music.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well maybe you can show me your record collection sometime.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Only if I can see your art collection.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Oh you wouldn't like my art. I'm not very good.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she blushes and looks down</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;now shes the one with spaghetti</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;too fucking cute</span><br />&quot;I doubt that very much. What do you draw?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Cute things.&quot;</span><br />&quot;I like cute things, like you.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she goes red</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you go red</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;spaghetti fills the room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Be Seamus</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you just told Chiyo you thought she was cute</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you're both furiously blushing</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;And here I thought all you musicians were about flowery metaphors&quot;</span><br />&quot;I-I like getting t-to the p-point.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;knees weak</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;a taller girl in a similar outfit comes up</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Is this guy bothering you sis?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She must be Ayumani</span><br />&quot;Hi, you're Ayunami right?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm not talking to you, b-baka&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;well then</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;No sis, we're just talking.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Well I'm going home.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;OKAY BYE SIS!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Ayunami storms off</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;She means well. She's just a little overbearing&quot;</span><br />&quot;Do you want a drink?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;That sounds lovely&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You grab her some punch</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Chuck winks at you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You give her what should have been yours, just in case</span><br />&quot;You want to go sit down?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she grabs your hand and leads you to the couches</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;So what's your major?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Music. Concentration is musical saw.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Musical what?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Saw. I'll play for you some time.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Lowes or Home Depot?&quot;</span><br />&quot;Please. I design all my own insturments.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Now I know you're full of shit.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Sometimes.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She giggles</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Conrad comes and sits next to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;seriously bro?</span><br />&quot;Chiyo, this is Conrad. He lives down the hall from me.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she waves at him</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Dude, I'm trying to convince Emily to go talk to that medusa.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;well can you do it somewhere else?</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you turn to Chiyo</span><br />&quot;Give me a second.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You get up and walk over to Emily</span><br />&quot;Need help?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;What do you mean?&quot;</span><br />&quot;You've been staring at that tentacle monster since we got here. Want me to introduce you to her?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;her eyes glaze over</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you grab her arm and lead her to her</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You tap the monster on her shoulder</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Yes?&quot;</span><br />&quot;My friend Emily wanted to meet you.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;She looks down at Emily</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;My my, aren't you precious. I'm Demona&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;mission accomplished</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you go back to Chiyo</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Conrad is putting his mack on</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;And that's why Superman is actually the worst superhero ever.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Sorry about that.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You sit down next to Chiyo and she leans back into you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you wrap your arm around her</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You make eye contact with Conrad</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;WELL I MUST BE GOING NOW&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;He gets up and wanders over to Brandon and Sarah</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you look down at Chiyo</span><br />&quot;He means well.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;He said you were a good guy. Should I trust him?&quot;</span><br />&quot;I sure hope so.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;suddenly the music turns to an acoustic cover of Telephone Line (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DihMwnF3jY)</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You start singing out of habit</span><br />&quot;That's what I'd say. I'd tell you everything.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;If you pick up that telephone&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Her voice is angelic</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stare into each others eyes</span><br />&quot;Wanna dance?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;your mouth is dry</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you go dizzy as you forget to breathe</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Absolutely.&quot;</span><br />You lead her to the dance floor<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Pairs are starting to form</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Usagi/Lilly, Emily/Demona</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You look down at Chiyo</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She looks up at you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you kiss</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;time stops</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;WOO! GET SOME HUEY!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;god fucking dammit</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;The music ends and everyone stares at you two</span><br />&quot;What? Has nobody here seen a straight couple?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;You go back to the couch with Chiyo</span><br />&quot;So...&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;So?&quot;</span><br />&quot;I'm just trying to process all this.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You don't have a girl back home do you?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she looks panicked</span><br />&quot;OH! No. Didn't mean to scare you.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she sighs and lays her head on your shoulder</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;this is heaven</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Keksandra comes up to you</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I'm taking credit for all this.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You&quot;shurg</span><br />&quot;You can be the flower girl at the wedding&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Conrad comes up</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Hey, I'm gonna bounce. You good here?&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you look around</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;everyone's starting to leave</span><br />&quot;You ready to go Chiyo?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she nods</span><br />&quot;Okay, let's bounce&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Chiyo grabs your hand as the three of you walk towards the door</span><br />&quot;Where's Emily?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;Conrad gives you a knowing look</span><br />&quot;Enough said.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;As you walk home, Chiyo starts singing again</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;All I want to get is. A little bit closer.&quot; (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9e9NSMY8QiQ)</span><br />&quot;All I wanna know is. Can you come a little closer?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;she takes off running</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;IT'S NOT JUST ALL PHYSICAL. I'M THE TYPE WHO WON'T GET OH SO CRITICAL&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you chase</span><br />&quot;SO LET'S MAKE THINGS PHYSICAL. I WON'T TREAT YOU LIKE YOU'RE OH SO TYPICAL&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you catch up to her</span><br />&quot;I won't treat you like you're typical&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;you pick her up and spin her around</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;she squeals and giggles</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You set her down before your skinny arms give out</span><br />&quot;I can get used to this.&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;me too&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;HEY WAIT UP, I DON'T WANNA GET RAPED!&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Conrad runs up, panting</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you all walk back to the dorm</span><br />&quot;What room are you in?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;/c/&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you stop at her room</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;Conrad continues walking</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;good man</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;You look down at your girl</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;I had a really great time tonight.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Oh is the night already over?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;You boys are all the same.&quot;</span><br />&quot;Can we at least get food tomorrow?&quot;<br /><span class="co4">&gt;&quot;Definitely. Goodnight Seamus.&quot;</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;She kisses you on the cheek</span><br /><span class="co4">&gt;you float back to your room</span><br />&quot;I love college.&quot;</div></div>




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