### Douche Anon and the Pregnant Dazzlings (Part 1) - by Anonymous

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>Be Anon >Be staring at the Dazzlings as they wave positive pregnancy tests in front of you >Ohshitniggayoudunfuckedup.jpg >It probably wasn't a good idea to have a fourway without protection >Adagio grins predatorily >"So what are you going to do, Anon? Either man up or pay up. >Parenting? Fuck that shit! >You did NOT want kids, and you knew you'd be a shitty parent anyway. >Child Support? You're sitll in high school! >You ain't got no job! >It was a bad idea to stick your dick in the evil magic fish horse things that tried to mind control everyone a few months ago... >Wait a minute >You grin >"How can you get child support from me without legal identification? I bet you just used your magic to ignore paperwork. But now you don't have that anymore." >Their eyes widened in horror >Victory! >Aria turns to Adagio with a glare >"Damn it, Adagio! I knew this was a bad idea." >Adagio glared back >"Well if you thought it was such a bad idea, why did you go along with it?!" >The blue one starts crying >"Oh god, I don't wanna be a mom. Kids suck!" >Kek >You walk away, whistling a tune with your hands in your pockets. >"WAIT JUST A DAMN MINUTE!" >Oh what does this bitch want now? >You turn to see Adagio glaring daggers at you >"What do you want? I already told you you're not getting child support out of me." >She grins >"Ah, but we have witnesses. Tons of people saw us leave that party with you two weeks ago." >Fuck >You are not being a dad anytime soon! >"T-True, but they won't be able to say for sure if you three had sex with me. Nobody from the party followed us back to your apartment!" >She chuckled >"Yeah, but do you really think they won't believe you're the dad once we start showing." >No >NO! >You clench your fist >"Just get a damn abortion!" >Aria smirked, stepping forward >"We don't want to. We would like to experience the.... joys of motherhood for ourselves. " >You frown >"That's bullshit. You're just doing this to get my parents' money!" >It was known around school that you were well off. Like, REALLY well off. >You didn't think this would happen to you >Popanon and Mommanon warned you about gold-diggers! >But you didn't listen. >Adagio smirks >"Maybe we do, maybe we don't." >Oh fuck this shit. >"You won't scare me. You have no ID! You can't collect SHIT from me if you don't legally exist! If you raise a stink about this you'll get deported to whatever hellhole you came from!" >The orange one scowled. >"We'll see about that." >They walk away, leaving you alone in the empty school gym >You sigh, leaning against the wall >"Shit..." >Shit was serious. >You had to tell someone >Parents? No. >Sunset Shimmer and her magical group of friends? Not sure how they'd react... >Your bro Flash? He usually had good advice... >Either way you were late for class. ---------------- >Still be Anon >Be in History class >Be ignoring Miss Cheerilee's lecture and thinking about the news you had been given >Like, shiiiitttt.... >They weren't really going to go the whole nine months with this, right? >They'd give up once they realized you weren't going along with their scheme and get an abortion, right? >The kids probably weren't yours anyway... >Who KNOWS how many guys they've slept with? >"Anon!" >"GAH!" >You jump in your seat >Miss Cheerilee was glaring at you >Your classmates were snickering at your bad luck >Man, fuck them. >"You were already late for my class. At least TRY to pay attention." >You groan. >"Ugh, sorry." >She rolls her eyes and goes back to lecturing about Algebra or something >Bitch >She didn't know your problems! >You eye Flash, who was sitting in the front of the class. >You needed to grab him at the end of the period before he went to his next class >You needed to talk to SOMEBODY about this shit. (SKIP TO THE END OF CLASS) >*RRRRRRRRRIIIIIINNNNNNG* >As the bell rang, you gathered up your shit. >You speedwalked after Flash and tapped him on the shoulder >"Flash?" >He turns back to you. >"What's up, Anon?" >You glance from side to side, watching as people left the class. >"Look, its about Pinkie Pie's party two weeks ago. It's important." >He frowned >"How important?" >"Life changing. Let's go somewhere more discreet...." >"Dude, I have class in five minutes." >"This is more important! I need to talk to someone about this." >He groaned >"Fine" >You two head to a nearby bathroom. >You bend down, checking under the stalls to see if anyone is there. >All clear. >"Okay good. Whatever I tell you right now Flash, you have to keep a secret. Don't tell anyone. Especially my parents." >He nodded. >"Does it involve the Dazzlings?" >He snickered. >Asshole >"Did they give you magic herpes?" >You punch him in the shoulder and glare at him. >"Man, fuck you! No! Although it does involve them.." >He cringes, rubbing his shoulder. >"Okay, ow. Jeezus it must be serious if you're being so pissy. Tell me." >You gulp nervously. >"O-Okay. At the end of last period, they dragged me into the gym and..." >You shudder. "They told me all three of them are pregnant. They told me to either man up or PAY up." >Flash's eyes widen. >"Hooooooly shit. Dude, you're fucked." "Ya think? B-But look, they can't do this right? Remember how they used their magic to control everyone?" >He nodded "Well I was thinking.... They're old as dirt, and they probably had to use their magic just to get into school. They can't have legal documents, r-right? Without those, they can't file for child support right?" >Flash scratches his head. "I-I don't know, man. Maybe? Are you sure you're the dad? Plus, how likely is it that you got all three of them pregnant at the same time?" >You needed. "That's what I was thinking! Who knows how many guys they've fucked? But I'm scared. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be a dad, Flash." >Flash was silent for a moment. >"Anon, I'm not sure what to tell you. But if even one of those kids is yours, then you have to take responsibility." >Nigga what. "I JUST SAID I don't want to be a dad!" >He sighed. >"I know, I know. But I warned you not to go with them." >Fuck, he did. >"And odds are they aren't going to let this go even if they can't get any money. Everyone in school who was at the party will know, or at least think, that you're the dad once they start showing." >They would. >"All the Dazzlings would have to do is convincingly act like a victim, and everyone would fucking HATE you for 'abandoning' them." >You grit your teeth. "Screw that! I'm not changing diapers just so people don't hate me!" >"It's not just that. You have to take responsibility for your actions." >You just stare at him. "You're ignoring what I have to say, aren't you?" >He sighs again. >"I'm not. Anon, you weren't drunk at the party. You went with them and had unprotected sex with them like a dumbass. If you are the father, then you at least owe it to the kid, or kids, to get them away from the Dazzlings and find someone who would adopt them." >He had a point. >You didn't want to be a father, but those kids didn't deserve to grow up with magic fish horse monster-things as mothers... >You sigh. >"Fuck. Okay, say I go through with this plan. How would I go about getting the kids AWAY from the Dazzlings?" >Flash shook his head. >"I don't know. You have to tell your parents though." >You threw your hands up >"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT TELLING THE-" >Flash covered your mouth with his hand. >"Don't be so loud, you idiot!" he hissed. >Right. It would be bad if people heard. >You nodded and he removed his hand. >"I know you don't want to, but they can hire lawyers for this kind of stuff." >You scoffed. >"And what do I tell them? That I managed to impregnate three magic fish horses from another dimension?" >Like anybody who wasn't at the Battle of the Bands would believe it. >*RRRRRRRIIIIIIINNNNNNNG* >And now you were late for class again. >Just fucking great >"I don't know, Anon. Think of something. You have to make the first move before they do. I have to go to class." >Flash walked away, leaving you alone in the bathroom. >You sigh >Might as well go to class and try to figure out a way to tell your parents. --------------------------------------- >Be Adagio Dazzle >Be in your apartment with Sonata and Aria >Be thinking of a way to deal with your current situation >Anon had a point >Without legal ID, they couldn't sue him for child support. >That meant no money. >To be honest, you HAD legal documents >Multiple times over the years for various reasons. But nothing recent >Certainly nothing saying that you were a teenager. >After the Battle of the Bands, your powers were gone >That meant you couldn't sing your way out of paying rent. >You could get a job if you really needed to, but why work when you could leech off of other people? >Aria was a fool to get that job at a fast food restaurant. >"What are you thinking about?" >Speaking of the devil. >You roll your eyes as she comes in wearing that ridiculous uniform. ."None of your business." >Aria glared at you. >"You're still thinking about going after that kid's money, aren't you?" >You scoffed. "So what if I am?" >"Give it up." >You scowl >"Why should I?" >Aria shrugs. >"Maybe because he pointed exactly WHY this won't work?" "There has to be something!" >"Is it really worth pushing out an entire baby?" "Hey, you went along with it too!" >Aria grunts >"Not one of my best decisions, but at least I don't have my head so far up my ass that I can't admit that." >You growl, standing up. >"Excuse me?!" >Aria smirks at you >"You heard me." >She frowns >"Where's Sonata?" >You frown as well. >"Panicking or something. She hasn't left her room since we got back." >Aria rolled her eyes. >"Typical. Anyways I'm going to work. If you want dinner, make it yourself." >She grabs her keys and walks out the door. >You sit back down. >Damn it. >You needed to get something that would make Anon pay up. >But what? >A kid probably won't work now. >"Hmmm....." >Or would it? >Blackmail? >You doubted he told his parents or even intended to. >He pays the three of you to shut up? >You grin >"Now we're getting somewhere..." >All you needed now was their phone number. ------------------------------ >Be Anon >Be sitting on the bus that takes you to school everyday >You sigh >You had chickened out of telling your parents last night at dinner. >Seriously, how the fuck were you supposed to tell them?! >Even if they believed you about the Dazzlings being evil and helped you get any hypothetical kids away from them, they'd still be pissed at you >They'd probably make you take care of them and get a job! >Fuck that shit! >No >What you needed was a way to make this all disappear >But they didn't want to get an abortion. >Maybe you could... push them down a stairwell? >You gulp >..... >Nah. They'd probably murder you or something if they found out you were responsible >"I can't believe I even considered that..." you muttered to yourself. >No. You had to think of something else... >You would do almost anything to get out of this mess that DIDN'T involve telling your parents. (SKIP TO LUNCH PERIOD) >Still be Anon >Be nervously eating your lunch with Flash and your other friends >Still thinking of a way out of the mess you made. >Thankfully, you didn't share that many classes with the Dazzlings. >You had English with Aria, but she didn't say or do anything. >She didn't even look at you! >That was a good sign, right? >"So... Anon?" >You look up to see Flash looking at you expectantly. >"Yeah?" >"Did you do that thing we talked about?" >Niggawhatareyoudoing.png >Why is he bringing it up in front of everyone? >Does this dumbass not know the meaning of subtlety?! >You glare daggers at him. >"No. Why are you bringing it up now? In front of everyone?" >Flash sighed, shaking his head. >"Because I didn't think you did it. I just wanted to confirm it. Besides, its not like anyone will figure it out unless you explicitly tell them." >Norman turned to you with a raised eyebrow. >"What are you talking about?" >You grit your teeth. >"Nothing." >"It doesn't sound like nothing" >"Drop it!" >He raises his hands in defeat. >"Okay, okay. Geez.." >You turn back to Flash, giving him the stink eye. >"Great. Now they're curious. Nice going, jackass." >He rolled his eyes. >I should slap the shit out of him for that. >"Putting it off is only going to make everything worse." >You growl, clenching your fist >"That doesn't give you the excuse to mention my private business in public!" >He shrugs. >"Probably. But I know that if I don't get on your ass about this, you'll keep putting it off until its too late." >You flip him off "Fuck you Flash." >He actually LAUGHS at that. >"I wouldn't say it if its not true." >Like hell it is! >You weren't that bad! >.... Were you? >You sigh. >You hear a familiar chuckle. >"Trouble in paradise, Anon?" >Fuck >You slowly turn around to see Adagio, standing there with a smirk on her face and a hand on her hip. >Time for a poker face. >"Do I know you?" >She chuckles. >"Really? As if you don't know the name of the mo-" >You stood up faster than you ever had before, putting on a fake smile. >"ADAGIO! How are you? I'm sorry about not recognizing you before. I must be still sleepy." >Her smirk turned into a shit-eating grin >Bitch >"That's what I thought." >She turned around, and waved at you to follow her. >"Come with me. We need to talk." >Like you had a choice. >You follow after her, feeling the gazes of your fellow students on your back. >Did nobody know how to keep a secret?! >You follow her out of the cafeteria, into the hallways, and into an empty classroom. >"Look, if this is about the child suppo-" >She raises a hand. >"Oh no, you were right. We can't sue you for that without drawing too much attention to ourselves." >Her grin turns predatory. >"But I doubt you've told your parents about me and my friends?" >"Uhh.... well." >She laughs. >"That's what I thought. And I also doubt you want them to know." >Oh wait a minute... >"So what? You're going to blackmail me? You don't know where I live or what my home phone number is! >She hummed, circling around you like a shark. >"True, but it can't be that hard to find out." >She stops, staring at you with her piercing eyes. >"And even if it is, I'm a VERY determined woman." >You growl at her. >"You're no woman. You're not even human!" >"So? The point still stands. All you have to do to keep me and my friends quiet is pay us every month once the babies are born." >You glare back at her, teeth gritted. >Your hands were clenched, but shaking with anxiety. >"Bullshit! You'd still draw too much attention and get your asses kicked out of the country, or this dimension, or whatever! You're bluffing." >Adagio shrugged. >"Maybe. But do you REALLY think your parents will arrange for the mothers of their grandchildren to get deported?" >"Not if I tell them about what you did at the Battle of the Bands!" >She laughs. >"Like they'll believe that! At most, they'll believe that we're teenage immigrants or something like that." >You gulp. >"Y-You don't know my parents." >She smirks. >"No. But I do know human nature. I've spent enough time hiding among them to figure that out. Unless they see blatant, undeniable proof they won't believe the truth." >You almost step back at that, before you catch yourself. >You can't afford to look like a wimp in front of her. >You take a deep breath, and stare her right in the eyes. >"What if.... what if I told them myself? What if I got Sunset Shimmer and her friends to prove it by doing that pony transformation thing? I might even be able to get that Twilight girl to come back! Then they'll get lawyers and I never have to see you again!" >When in doubt, lie your ass off. >You barely knew any of them. >Her eyes widened, then settled into a glare of her own. >"You're bluffing." >You chuckled nervously. >"People get desperate when they're pushed into a corner." >She stepped forward, her face getting uncomfortably close to yours. >"I know your type. A spoiled brat who'd rather avoid his problems then face them." >Oh well fuck this bitch. >Your glare returns in full force. >"I don't have to take this shit from you, y'know?" >Her glare intensified. >"You will if you know what's good for you." >"I may not be the smartest guy around, but I know anything involving you has to be hazardous to my health." >You lean forward, causing her to lean back with wide eyes as you started to tower over her. >"Now get out of my face." >Adagio stared back you for a moment, before scoffing. >"This isn't over." >She turned around and walked away, with the clicking of her heels echoing in your ears. >You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding. >That was dangerous >But at least she left you alone for now, right? >Still, you might have to follow up on what you said you would do. >.... You had a feeling that things were going to get worse if you didn't. -------------------------------- END OF PART 1