THE LAST LAUGH
Written by Michael P. Fox, Wil Fox
Produced by Devon Cody
Story editing by Josh Haber
Supervising direction by Jim Miller
Directed by Denny Lu, Mike Myhre
Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)
Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of the Castle and School of Friendship during the day. Rainbow Dash barrels into view, making a beeline for one of the former structure’s balconies; cut to a set of closed doors inside as she bursts in and stops dead, looking confusedly around herself. The camera angle changes to frame a rather bored Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Spike standing/lounging on the floor in the throne room, the central table bare of its magical map.)
Rainbow: (flying toward them) I thought Pinkie Pie said to get here right away. (Close-up of Applejack.)
Applejack: She sure had a burr in her britches about somethin’. (Pan to Spike.)
Spike: So where is she?
Pinkie Pie: (from o.s.) Pfft! Yeah!
(The reptilian green eyes go very wide at the sound of her voice; zoom out to frame the speaker now lying insouciantly on the table.)
Pinkie: What is taking her so long? (She straightens up with a giggle.) Just kidding. (Spike hops onto the table.) You guys really need to look behind you once in a while.
Twilight: (from o.s.) Uh, Pinkie? (Cut to frame all seven.) You said you had something important to tell us?
Pinkie: Not tell you, so much as show you. (dramatically) In fact, what you’re about to see may shake the very foundations of your perception for all time!
(Close-up of it being held aloft for the others’ consideration—a cupcake topped with yellow-orange frosting and a cherry. Long, uncomprehending pause.)
Fluttershy: Um…a cupcake?
Pinkie: (from o.s.) Yes! (Back to her.) But wait. There’s more!
(One pink hoof presses down on the bright red fruit, causing the frosting to pop loose on a hinge as a single solid piece. Up comes a picture of Cheese Sandwich, the traveling party-thrower who made his way through Ponyville in “Pinkie Pride,” marked with a line of printed text. It bobs on the end of a spring and is accompanied by a burst of confetti and streamers. Pinkie backs out of view.)
Pinkie: (from o.s.) It’s an invitation to visit the Cheese Sandwich Amusement Factory!
Spike: (flying up, inspecting it) Cheese Sandwich opened a factory? (The group again.)
Applejack: (teasingly) Heh. What do they make there? Rubber chickens? (Spike sits on the table with the thing.)
Pinkie: That’s ridiculous! They make way more there than just rubber chickens! (Giggle.)
Rarity: Gosh, Cheese hardly seems the factory type. I just assumed he’d continue to wander Equestria throwing parties. Still, you must be excited to see him.
Pinkie: I am! I can’t wait to tour his factory, catch up, have him tell me my life’s purpose, swap gag tips—
Applejack: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What did you say? (Close-up of Pinkie.)
Pinkie: Uh, catch up? I mean, it has been a while. (Zoom out to frame Twilight on the next line.)
Twilight: I think Applejack’s asking about the part about Cheese Sandwich and your life’s purpose?
(The levity drains right out of Pinkie as her eyes widen.)
Pinkie: Oh, that. Yeah. It’s just…all of you have found your thing. (Cut to Twilight; she continues o.s.) You’re gonna rule all of Equestria… (To Rainbow.) …Rainbow Dash is a Wonderbolt… (Zoom out to frame Fluttershy.) …Fluttershy has her animal sanctuary… (Back to her and Rarity.) …Rarity has her boutiques… (She slides over to Applejack and pulls the brown hat forward.) …Applejack has that hat…
(Accompanied by the following from the addressed mares, in order: a smile, a confident midair pose, a blush, a smile, a quizzical look as Applejack sets herself right.)
Pinkie: …and the farm, so that’s like…two things.
(The orange-tan face relaxes into a smile.)
Pinkie: (flopping onto table) I don’t even have one.
(She takes the cupcake back from Spike with a sigh and bites down, ignoring the crunches that tell her it is absolutely not meant to be eaten.)
Pinkie: (popping it open again) When I first got Cheese’s invite, I was a little jealous. (Her perspective of the photo and her friends.) It felt like even he was moving on to bigger and better things— (Pull it down and o.s.) —and everypony was leaving me behind. (Back to her, brightening as she sits up.) But then I realized, Cheese Sandwich is a party pony just like me. If he figured out his purpose, he can help me figure out mine!
Twilight: I think talking to Cheese Sandwich is a great idea, but the only pony who can really find your life’s purpose is you.
Pinkie: (leaning down into her face) I know, silly. That’s why I’m going to visit Cheese Sandwich’s factory so I can ask him to help me. (Back off; take another chomp of the cupcake.)
Spike: Uh, Pinkie? Are you sure this is edible?
Pinkie: (cheerfully) I am not!
(But that does not deter her from biting and chewing with gusto. The other five mares trade knowing smiles—with a few cocked eyebrows mixed in—as the view fades to black.)
OPENING THEME
Act One
(Opening shot: fade in to a long cinderblock wall plastered with posters that depict Cheese in the midst of various goofy activities. It runs parallel to a road, along which Pinkie hops into view; she stops after several yards and runs an eye over one sheet.)
Pinkie: Yep. Anypony with a smile like that— (Close-up of the nearest poster, zooming out to frame her.) —is exactly the kind of pony I want helping me!
(She moves on, a split second before one corner peels away from the wall, and approaches a set of wrought-iron gates at which two uniformed earth pony security guards are stationed—one stallion, one mare. The hazy silhouette of a factory building can be seen through the bars, topped by the rise of twin smokestacks. The guards move to block Pinkie’s approach to the gates.)
Pinkie: Oh, hey, guys. Pardon me. (trying to push past them, with some effort) Just gonna…squeeze by…
Stallion guard: Can we help you? (He pushes her back.)
Pinkie: You sure can! I’m here to see Cheese Sandwich!
Mare guard: Cheese Sandwich doesn’t see anypony!
Stallion guard: This factory is shut tight. Nopony ever comes out and nopony ever goes in, including you! (Cut to the dismayed Pinkie; he continues o.s., waving her away.) So move along.
Pinkie: Oh, that’s a shame. To think I came all this way because of this personal invitation from Cheese Sandwich himself.
(She produces the remains of her ersatz cupcake as she speaks; the two guards start in surprise at the picture when it pops free of the housing.)
Mare guard: You…you have an invitation? (Both smile.)
Stallion guard: Well, why didn’t you say so?
(He slams a hoof down on a large button, setting off sirens and red strobe lights mounted on the wall, and Pinkie grins from ear to ear as the gates swing open so she can enter the property. She has put her invitation away.)
Mare guard: (petulantly) Next time, I get to push the button!
(The commotion stops. Inside, the factory stands at the far end of a walled-in concrete yard, shorter stacks extending skyward from the rooftops at either end. A few random crates, oil drums, and dumpsters are scattered here and there, but Pinkie finds herself the only living thing in the vicinity.)
Pinkie: Ooooh! Desolate-y! (She stops at a set of doors and raises her voice) Hello? Anypony there?
(The entrance opens on its own, exposing an industrial interior illuminated by hanging light fixtures. She has no time to offer any critique before a long red carpet comes bouncing out toward her, unrolling as it goes. Yelping in fear, she peels out to keep from being struck by the runaway textile, only to trip and fall. Cut briefly to her perspective, framing a set of four legs standing before her on it—greenish-gray, the front pair in long dark gray sleeves that end in white shirt cuffs, the whole backed by a straight, dark gray tail—then back to her. Once she realizes that this new figure is not about to eat her, she opens both eyes to look fully at it and the camera shifts back to her perspective, tilting up from ground level. The grinning, yellow-orange face is that of Cheese, but the eyes are a bit too dark a green. In addition, he has traded the poncho, flat-crowned hat, and yellow shirt he wore at different times in “Pinkie Pride” for a cardigan worn over a white turtleneck.)
Pinkie: Cheese!
(Profile of both; she stands up to hug this very odd figure—tall, with a cutie mark of a soaked, dripping blanket.)
Pinkie: I’m so happy to see you!
(The grin does not waver in the slightest until the figure yanks its entire face off as a rubber mask, with holes cut for the wearer’s eyes. Balding earth pony stallion, the remains of his mane matching his tail, pince-nez glasses before green eyes set in a critical expression. This is Sans Smirk, who speaks in a precise, analytical tone of voice.)
Sans: Hmmm. This should have gotten a big laugh. I wonder if we need to add more carpet rolls.
(Two employees in white lab coats, hoof booties, and mane-covering shower caps emerge carrying clipboards. One, a unicorn, is carrying his with magic and extends his hold over the mask.)
Sans: I suppose it could be the mask. (His perspective, pointing to the nose.) Let’s try taking the nostril flare down ten percent. Thoughts? (Drop it, framing Pinkie.)
Pinkie: I have a thought. Who are you? (Cut to frame all four.)
Sans: So sorry. (shaking hooves with her; the unicorn drops the mask on his own back) Sans Smirk, vice president of amusement integration. Mr. Sandwich is very excited you’re here. If you’ll just follow me, it’s a short trip through the factory to Cheese’s office.
(He and the employees start back into the plant.)
Pinkie: Wow. A whole factory dedicated to gags! (Jump in place.) Ooh! I bet this is the funnest place ever!
(She races after them along the red carpet; cut to just inside the entrance doors as she throws them open. Eagerness quickly gives way to bewilderment.)
Pinkie: Huh.
(Zoom out quickly to frame the entire area. Except for two ponies in white off to one side, all the employees here are dressed in yellow raincoats and hard hats and are preparing items for shipping as they move along conveyor belts.)
Pinkie: (leaning on one belt; it drags her along) Maybe the fun is behind all this boring-looking factory stuff.
(The stallion overseeing this bit of the operation is more than a little shocked to see her riding the belt and being dumped into a large carton at its end. A canister drops in next, bonking her in the back of the head.)
Sans: (crossing to her) The fun is the factory stuff. We take a fairly serious approach to comedy here. Observe.
(He walks off, Pinkie hopping out of the box and after him. They arrive at a workstation staffed by a mare who is inspecting a trick squirting flower.)
Sans: (stilted) Oh, look. A pretty flower.
(He leans in to sniff it, gets a burst of water in the face, and offers Pinkie a satisfied smile.)
Pinkie: The squirting flower’s a classic. (Sans nods; she gets an idea.) Ohhhh! (Grab it and put it on.) What if the flower was part of a shirt, but the flower didn’t squirt? (Drop to haunches.) The shirt did!
(Widened eyes from the listeners are quickly replaced by smiles of agreement.)
Sans: That is literally the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.
Pinkie: (laughing, standing, removing flower) Oh, come on. (Sans dries himself with a proffered towel.) That’s just off the top of my head. (Close-up; she tosses the flower and sits on a stool.) You probably get, like, seventeen thousand ideas like that from Cheese every minute.
(Sans’s next words throw a monkey wrench into her thoughts. On the start of the next line, cut to frame him addressing a worker and jotting notes on a pad.)
Sans: We’d have to use a series of interconnected tubes in the fabric. (to Pinkie) What do you think of this?
(He holds up a whoopee cushion on one front hoof and mashes it with the other to set it off.)
Pinkie: I think it’s a whoopee cushion.
Sans: (coaxingly) Yes? (Three white-clad workers gather in at his nod.)
Pinkie: (standing on stool) But what if you made the embarrassing sound come from somepony else? (Cut to her audience of four.)
Sans: I sit on it, but the sound comes from you. We could call it the “Ventriloquoopie Cushion.”
(Murmurs of assent; notes are taken.)
Pinkie: (from o.s.) So… (She hops off the stool and begins to pace.) …which way is Cheese’s office again?
Sans: Right, of course. It’s been quite a while since we’ve had the opportunity to work with true comic inspiration like this.
Pinkie: What about Cheese? (Green eyes pop.)
Sans: Oh! One more thing.
(He brings over a banana peel on a wooden stand, protected by a glass bell jar.)
Sans: Our Super-Slip banana peel. (setting it down) Still in development, but we think it’s pretty special.
(As soon as he lifts the cover away, the peel drops to the floor and skids crazily away, leaving behind a thin trailing layer of pulp. It veers down the aisle formed by two adjacent conveyor belts and is briefly lost to sight, with only the yells and stumbles of the ponies on duty to mark its progress. Once the peel emerges into the clear, it launches itself up an impromptu ramp consisting of a board propped against a barrel, smacks into a wall, and ricochets neatly back onto its stand. Sans claps the bell jar back in place.)
Sans: So…too slippery?
Pinkie: (chuckling deviously) What if, instead of slipping, you were sticking? One step on this banana peel, and you can’t get it off! (giggling, poking Sans’s nose) That’s funny.
Sans: Wow. Just…wow. You’re exactly the pony Cheese Sandwich needs to see.
Pinkie: Great! (She trots after him; they head up a staircase.) Because he’s exactly the pony I need to see.
(Cut to just inside a closed door in a darkened room. It swings open to admit a shaft of light and Pinkie’s cheery face, the latter of which shifts to confusion without touching the clutch.)
Pinkie: Uh…hello?
(Her perspective. She has arrived in a large office whose floor is littered with piles of novelties and joke items, including a large cardboard cutout of Cheese in his golf shirt off to one side. The far wall is taken up almost completely by a set of floor-to-ceiling windows. An imposing desk is placed before this, its chair swiveled to face away from the camera. Only a dark-maned head and the tips of two ears can be seen; the occupant speaks in a low, somber male voice.)
Occupant: Pinkie, I’m…I’m glad you came.
(The camera shifts to point at her from the desk, one edge of his head just in view—yellow-orange, with a curly brown mane tied back.)
Pinkie: (smiling, walking in) Of course I did! Your factory is… (Sans appears at the door.) …biiiiig! It really seems like you’ve found your purpose, which is perfect, since I came here for help.
Occupant: That is perfect.
(He turns to face her, confirming what has been hinted at by their exchange—it is Cheese in the horseflesh, but with not a trace of his old goofy demeanor. He is wearing a heavy, dark gray turtleneck.)
Cheese: I knew I could count on you to help me.
Pinkie: Well, that’s triple-perfect because—uh, wait. Why do you need my help?
Cheese: Because, Pinkie, I…
(The office lights come on in response to his clap.)
Cheese: (freaking out) …I’ve completely lost my laugh!
(The visiting party pony draws in a lung-bursting gasp of unadulterated horror. Snap to black.)
Act Two
(Opening shot: fade in to an overhead shot of the office. Large posters of Cheese and his favorite trick items adorn the walls.)
Pinkie: You lost your laugh? (Close-up; Sans crosses the floor.) Is that some kinda joke? Because it’s not a funny one.
Cheese: It’s not a joke. And even if it was, I… (propping head on a front hoof) …I wouldn’t be able to laugh at it.
Pinkie: (approaching desk) Riiiiight.
(She loops a foreleg around a can standing on the desk, the camera now framing her and Cheese.)
Pinkie: Why don’t we continue this discussion over some delicious canned peanut brittle, hmmm?
(As soon as she pops the top, spring-loaded snakes go flying.)
Pinkie: Aha! (One bounces off Cheese’s nose; no response.) Wow. (tossing can aside) You did lose your laugh! That’s horrible!
Sans: (from o.s.) Sorry to interrupt… (Pan slightly to frame him walking up, notepad in hoof.) …but it occurs to me that a seven percent tighter wind on the snake springs would yield a twelve percent increase in giggle output.
(His analysis earns a very hairy eyeball from Pinkie.)
Cheese: This is why we’re a team. Sans here has always been able to eke every last laugh out of my gags, which—which is a help, since I haven’t come up with any good ones in a while.
(He lets his head thump onto the desk as Sans tucks the pad away.)
Pinkie: Wait. So you can tell if a gag is funny or not, you just can’t laugh at it?
Cheese: (sobbing, eyes tearing up) Yes! And it’s torture!
(Now he lets his entire front half flop bonelessly across the wood.)
Pinkie: (raising his chin) How did this happen?
(He gives up any vestiges of dull restraint and lets real anguish come through in his words.)
Cheese: I don’t know. (He sits up.) Back when I was a party pony, I—I laughed at everything.
(Dissolve to him on the move through Equestria at sunset, wearing his old poncho and hat. Boneless Two, the cowboy-hatted rubber chicken he began to use after giving its predecessor to Pinkie in “Pinkie Pride,” rides floppily in the saddle attached to the poncho.)
Cheese: (voice over) I spread my party cheer wherever it was needed.
(He happens upon an outdoor gathering for adults and spots three fillies lying on the grass, bored out of their skulls. One of them is Kettle Corn, who earned a haiku-writing cutie mark in “Marks and Recreation.” On the next line, Cheese darts over to the tree, having changed into his yellow shirt; spins her in place; presses a bat into her hooves; and points her toward a star-shaped piñata hanging from a tree.)
Cheese: (voice over) I even started making individual one-of-a-kind novelty gags for each and every one of my parties.
(As the other two youngsters follow, he carries Kettle over on his back so she can get the height boost needed to bash away at the thing. It resists stoutly, but the same cannot be said of the bat; which snaps in half after a few hits to release a shower of candy. The fillies laugh as it rains down past the camera, the view wiping to a long shot of all four having a grand old time. A prod at his shoulder brings Cheese out of his mirth, and he finds a unicorn mare dropping a few coins to him with her telekinesis.)
Cheese: (voice over) Soon it seemed like everypony in Equestria wanted one.
(Pan away to frame a sizable line of clamoring customers, all with legal tender at the ready, then cut back to him as a toothy grin bisects his face. A dissolve puts him in a small workshop whose walls are plastered thick with diagrams and notes. Supplies, scraps, and finished products litter the floor and the table at which he is toiling. He takes a moment to mark off a couple of items on a checklist, then tests a joy buzzer on himself. Finding the device powerful enough to frizz out his mane and send sparks crackling up and down his body, he voices a laugh.)
Cheese: (voice over) It was more work than my hooves could handle— (His face falls and he unrolls the list to its full, daunting length.) —but I didn’t want to disappoint all those smiling faces. (Sound of a door opening from o.s.) Luckily…
(Pan quickly to Sans, who has just let himself into the workshop and is holding a rolled paper under one foreleg. On the next line, the balding stallion unrolls this to show it as a blueprint for the factory.)
Cheese: (voice over) …Sans Smirk came to me with the idea for a factory. A gag factory.
(Dissolve to a long shot of the facility itself, a rainbow arcing past the smokestacks as the two stand facing it. Cheese grins and throws a foreleg around Sans’s shoulders. On the next line, one of the posters on the perimeter wall is rolled upward to cover the screen and camera zooms out to frame the pair out here, saddlebags filled with other copies.)
Cheese: (voice over) I could finally keep up with demand and make everypony happy.
(Dissolve to the production floor, yellow-clad workers going hard at it, and tilt up to frame Cheese looking on contentedly from his office windows.)
Cheese: (voice over) Soon we were sending gags all over Equestria.
(Dissolve to him and Sans standing over one belt, their bags gone. One item at a time is advanced and given a quick test by Cheese, who nods approval so Sans can mark it on a clipboard. A mare passes him an aerosol can, which sprays a burst of “silly string” into his face without the button being pressed. This too gets the nod, and she returns to her station as he wipes himself clean. Throughout this entire sequence, his face displays a certain degree of weariness instead of a smile, which has instead found its way over to Sans. Zoom in slowly as his eyes pop and a great unease takes root.)
Cheese: (voice over) But then, one day, my laugh was…just gone.
(Dissolve to a close-up of him in the present—same pose—and zoom out.)
Cheese: I haven’t left the factory since. (covering eyes) I-I don’t want anypony to see me like this. (tearing up) I-I-I mean, look at me! (gesturing to one side) Boneless Two doesn’t even recognize me anymore!
(Pan quickly in that direction to a dim corner of the office. The pliable poultry sits on a swivel chair among a scatter of props, its cowboy hat gone, and pivots slowly to present its back to the tableau.)
Cheese: So…can you help me, Pinkie? (hunching down) W-What do you think?
Pinkie: (firmly) I think I’ve got two words for you. Knock, knock.
Cheese: Uh, who’s there?
Pinkie: Boo!
Cheese: Boo who?
Pinkie: (smiling) Don’t cry, because I’m gonna get you your laugh back!
(Wipe to them and Sans out in the yard, Cheese on a stool and Sans holding his notepad.)
Pinkie: Let’s start with something small. Excuse me, Mr. Smirk, but is there something in my…eye?
(She turns briefly away from him as she asks the question, then finishes it by turning back to him wearing a big grin and a pair of joke glasses whose googly eyes dangle from springs.)
Sans: Top-notch eye googling, Miss Pie. (Cheese just grunts dispiritedly.)
Pinkie: (removing/tossing glasses) Why, thanks, Sans, old pal! (extending a hoof to shake) Put ’er there!
(He does so and immediately falls victim to that industrial-strength joy buzzer, dropping his pad. The jolt leaves his mane standing up in spiky, crackling tufts, but Cheese just crumples a little further into himself.)
Pinkie: (laughing, putting buzzer away; Sans straightens his mane) Oh, sorry about that. Let me make it up to you. (Hop away a short distance.) How about some…
(She reaches o.s. and produces a cream pie.)
Pinkie: …pie?
(Almost as soon as she starts back toward the stallions, she loses her balance and tumbles across the yard, ending up with the tin stuck on her face. Sans, having recovered his pad, stares as it falls free and the pink joker beams through the mass of smashed pastry and filling. She takes a bow and quickly licks herself clean as Sans takes notes, but the bit fails to get even a flicker from Cheese.)
Sans: (dictating) “Googly eye to hoof buzzer to pie-face pratfall.” (He kisses his own hoof loudly.) Masterful.
Cheese: (shrugging) Eh.
Pinkie: Come on! Those classic bits put Rainbow Dash’s funny bone in a cast for a week!
Cheese: Don’t blame yourself, Pinkie. Whatever I got, I got it bad.
Pinkie: Hmmm…maybe we need to start even smaller.
(Uncertain yellow-orange frown meets confident pink grin before the view undergoes a clock wipe to an open patch of the factory floor. Pinkie paces into view, wearing a gray track-suit jacket and a darker headband, as Cheese and Sans watch. The bespectacled stallion no longer has his pad.)
Pinkie: You can’t run before you can walk, and you can’t laugh before you can smile. (pointing to Cheese) And your smiler’s all outta whack. (Cross to him.) Now, let’s see what we’re working with. Gimme your biggest, bestest smile!
(She demonstrates with a grin that shows off every one of her teeth; Cheese responds with a couple of badly lopsided attempts that suggest facial paralysis or nerve damage.)
Cheese: (strained, sweating) Am I doing it? Am I smiling? I feel like I’m smiling!
Pinkie: (uneasily, trying to humor him) Almost. (A nervous little laugh; he relaxes.) Maybe I just need to spot you for a rep or two.
(A quick hop carries her to one side; standing a foot or two behind his shoulders, she seizes the corners of his mouth and begins to stretch and knead as if his face were a wad of pizza dough. She ends by holding them pulled up as far as possible.)
Pinkie: (straining) Okay! You got this! It’s all you! Ready?
(But as soon as she lets to and backs off, both cheeks sag down past the jawline like deflated balloons.)
Cheese: Anything?
(Pinkie allows herself no more than a disappointed moan as he shakes his face back into order with a grunt.)
Pinkie: I’m not giving up on you yet, Cheese. (pacing) I know there’s something somewhere that’ll make you laugh. I just have to figure out where to look.
Sans: I would like to take this opportunity to point out that we are in a gag factory.
(Cut to within a brightly lit area, the camera pointing at a pair of closed double doors. Sans opens one and leads Pinkie in, followed by Cheese.)
Sans: This is where the magic happens.
(Zoom out on this line to a long shot of this area—a sizable laboratory, with white-clad researchers bustling about. From here, cut to a unicorn mare using her field to manipulate pliers on a disassembled toy snake as an earth pony coworker takes notes.)
Sans: (from o.s.) Research and Development. (Whoopee cushions are tested by dropping various weights onto them.) It’s where we figure out the science of funny. (Back to him and Pinkie, now crossing the room.)
Pinkie: How do you science funny?
Sans: Of course, there’s no one-size-fits-all joke, no grand unified gag theory.
(They and Cheese stop at a counter set with a pie, a toy snake, and two cans of peanut brittle—one rather larger than the other.)
Sans: But if we figure out the funny of one gag, we can combine it with the funny of another gag and make a third, funnier gag.
(He indicates the pie, small can, and large can in order during the previous line. Pinkie opens the lid on this last item and is promptly hit in the face by a pie in a spring-loaded tin—a meeting of the pie-in-the-face and trick-snakes-in-a-can japes. Puzzled, she wipes herself clean.)
Pinkie: I…guess that makes sense. (She crosses to a blackboard and reads.) “Rule of threes.” Hmmm… (counting off lines of text) …one, two, three. Yep, that math checks out. (crossing to Cheese) Hmmm…at this point, I’m willing to give anything a try.
(Wipe to her suiting up in white lab coat and hard hat, then to the factory blueprint being unrolled on a countertop. As other researchers gather to watch with curiosity piqued, she gets a pencil in her teeth and begins to sketch. The end result, hidden from view by the camera angle, draws a round of appreciative murmurs. Cut to a door and welcome mat that have been set up in the middle of the lab; Cheese approaches with great trepidation, followed closely by Pinkie who circles around to face him. The door has been left slightly ajar, swung in toward his side with a bucket balanced on the top edge. Cheese pushes the door closed and is rewarded by having the bucket fall upside down on his head. It is empty, but a high-velocity upward jet of water from the mat blasts it away and leaves the victim thoroughly soaked. Pinkie’s stifled laugh evaporates at his failure to get a rise out of the revamped joke, and the workers mumble concernedly as they take notes.)
(A blueprint page unrolls past the camera, wiping the view to a close-up of a mare showing off a fountain pen to Pinkie. The visitor shakes her head and talks/gestures a bit, earning an enthusiastic smile, and is soon hopping over to Cheese with the writing instrument balanced on a hoof. She squirts a dollop of ink onto his sweater; the stain quickly vanishes—disappearing ink—and the camera zooms out slightly to frame Sans watching. Pinkie turns to face him just as no fewer than half a dozen splotches appear all over his cardigan; she snickers to herself, but again Cheese gets no joy in this new twist on a classic prank.)
(A gush of ink washes over the camera lens, draining away to present a close-up of Pinkie poring over sheets of notes as translucent images of her calculations drift past and the camera zooms in slowly. After some seconds, she throws aside the pages she holds with a frustrated grunt and the superimposed lines disappear. She addresses Cheese across a countertop while Sans watches from one end with the ink gone from his clothing.)
Pinkie: I don’t understand! We’ve tried everything. (tossing pages/items over shoulder) Stand-up, classic gag, physical humor, prop comedy, vaudeville, surrealist alt-scene character pieces—nothing’s worked!
(What she throws, in order, are as follows. A sheet colored as a brick wall; one showing a pie; one that briefly sticks to her hoof; a watermelon; a top hat; a picture of a man with face blanked out and a leaf attached to his hatband.)
Sans: It seems we’ve exhausted every avenue that even the science of comedy can provide.
Cheese: That’s it, then. (He plods toward the doors.)
Pinkie: What do you mean?
Cheese: (sighing) I appreciate everything you’ve done, Pinkie, but if you can’t make me laugh, nopony can.
Sans: But, sir, you can’t just surrender.
Cheese: It doesn’t look like I have a choice. I need to figure out how to live without a laugh. (sighing, exiting) I know you tried your best, but it’s time you went home.
(Pinkie sucks in a terror-stricken gasp and claps both front hooves to her mouth.)
Sans: (adjusting his glasses) I too am horrified.
(Fade to black.)
Act Three
(Opening shot: fade in to the lab, which has taken on a rather less chipper mood in light of the failed attempts to bring Cheese around. Pinkie has shed her white coat and hard hat.)
Pinkie: So that’s it? You’re all just giving up?
Sans: I’m afraid Mr. Sandwich is right. You are the funniest pony in Equestria. And if you can’t bring back his laugh, it is surely gone forever.
Pinkie: But…Cheese was just as funny as me. I…I can’t believe that’s all gone.
(The factory floor; the doors open and she and Sans step out.)
Sans: None of us can. I shudder to think what will become of the factory.
Pinkie: (aghast) You’re not gonna close down, are you? I thought this place was Cheese’s life’s purpose!
Sans: It certainly was mine. But if Mr. Sandwich has finally given up, there’s only so long we can retool his old ideas before we run out of gags to produce. (They reach the front entrance.) I don’t suppose…you’d consider working here? Your fresh take on our classic gags rivals Mr. Sandwich in his prime.
Pinkie: I need to find my life’s purpose, but I don’t think that’s it. (hopping in place) I’m a party pony. I need to make ponies happy in real time.
Sans: (opening doors) Ah, yes. In our early days, nothing brought Mr. Sandwich more pleasure than seeing the laughter his gags brought to ponies first-hoof.
Pinkie: Guess it’s back to the drawing board.
(She hops out; cut to just outside the doors.)
Sans: Well, there will always be a place for you here if you change your mind.
(A thought flashes through the curly-topped cranium, whose owner freezes in midair.)
Pinkie: Hold on. (She turns to face Sans and touches down.) What did you just say?
Sans: “There’ll always be a place for you here”? (She zips back to him.)
Pinkie: No, no, no, no, before that.
Sans: “Back to the drawing board.”
Pinkie: (scoffing) That was me!
Sans: “Nothing brought Mr. Sandwich more pleasure than seeing the laughter his gags brought to ponies first-hoof”?
Pinkie: (beaming) Yes! That! We’ve been going about this all wrong! We don’t need to make Cheese laugh, he needs to make us laugh!
(She bugs out, leaving only a cloud of dust and a very puzzled stallion in her wake. Cut to a despondent Cheese sitting in his darkened office, facing the windows; she bursts in, the lights instantly coming on.)
Pinkie: Cheese! I figured it out! (He turns to her, surprised.) I know why you can’t laugh!
Cheese: What? Why?
Pinkie: (crossing to him) You started this factory because you didn’t want to disappoint smiling faces, but in here, you can’t see any! (Sans arrives, slightly out of breath.)
Sans: It does make a certain sense, sir. Spreading laughter has always brought you joy.
Cheese: (stepping away from his chair) But spreading laughter is what this factory does.
Pinkie: Except you don’t see it! You’re a party pony like me! You need to make ponies smile in person!
(Whipping back to the door, she leads Sans in by a foreleg as a few employees peek in.)
Pinkie: (pushing Sans toward Cheese) Here. Just try it!
Cheese: (tentatively) Okay…um… (Clear throat.) …why did Boneless Two cross the road?
(The business-minded stallion offers no response beyond a little “get on with it” gesture.)
Cheese: To prove to Boneless One he wasn’t a chicken.
Sans: (adjusting glasses) Very funny, sir. Excellent joke. (catching himself) Oh! I mean…ha, ha, ha? (Pinkie rises to fix him with a venomous glare.)
Pinkie: Really?
Sans: (adjusting glasses) Sorry. Not much of a laugher.
Pinkie: (to Cheese, smiling) Here, try me. (singsong) I promise I’ll laugh. (Big grin; close-up of him.)
Cheese: Pinkie, you laugh at everything. I appreciate what you’re doing, but I think it’s a cost laws. (stammering, catching himself) A lost cause.
(The sound of soft snickering draws his focus toward the door.)
Cheese: What was that?
(The answer, as revealed when most of the crowd backs off, is one badly unnerved stallion.)
Stallion employee: (entering office) I’m—I’m sorry, but when you swapped the letters of those words, it was just a bit— (The boss leans close to give him a searching look.)
Cheese: Funny?
Stallion employee: (nodding) Uh-huh.
Quiet piano/string chords, slowly building intensity, moderate loose 4 (A major)
Cheese: So you’re saying it’s a mix-up of the sounds that I just made
That coaxed the snicker from your throat in a delicate cascade
If I did it one more time, if I reproduced that feat
Mixed up some letters here and there, you’d lelly-baff tout de suite?
(French for “right away.” He holds out the last note, eliciting a round of chortles from the group at the door for his deliberate mangling of “belly laugh.”)
Banjo/tuba/drum/clarinet/accordion polka melody, fast 4
(Hopping onto his desk, he does a quick change into a yellow suit jacket and top hat, with a white shirt and blue tie that matches the hatband, and unties his mane. The old Cheese has now fully returned, in both attitude and appearance.)
Cheese: Then that’s all I need to do, it’s who I need to be
I thought I needed laughter, but it has to come from me
(He squirts Sans with a trick flower and ties his own forelegs in a knot for Pinkie’s amusement.)
Squirting flowers and knobby knees
(Pop up from a box of trick items and hold up a diploma.)
Rubber chickens, my expertise
(Lead Pinkie, Sans, and several workers along the balcony outside his office; pull the hat off to release a blast of confetti over all.)
If you want laughter, then stick with Cheese
(He gets plenty of it from those up here and at the conveyor belts, and he dons his hat and somersaults down the stairs.)
Pinkie: Yeah!
Cheese occasionally shifts from singing to speaking at the end of a line
(A giant switch is pulled, bringing a torrent of balloons and funny props down from a chute.)
Cheese: I s’pose now I should amp things up to get the thing I’m after
Move whole syl-la-bles around and change em-pha-sis to get laughter
(Balance on a beach ball, then hop off and bounce it off his back so he can hold it up.)
Can’t stop now, I’m on a roll, I’ve almost got it back
(Jump back on and bounce it around until it pops on a loose tack, blasting confetti everywhere.)
Bright folks like you aren’t subject to my play-on-words attack
(The paper bits clear to show him walking against the motion of one conveyor as if it were a treadmill.)
Cheese: With something else I’ll have to play
(Sit.) To get me where I’m going
(He falls off the end and lands on an inflatable pool float.)
Pinkie: Whatcha gonna do?
Classical feel; no percussion
(He comes up in a loose outfit and cap somewhat similar to the clothing worn by opera clowns, his eyes covered by a mask with a long, beak-like nose.)
Cheese: (falsetto) Some commedia dell’arte
(Switch masks as the workers laugh uproariously.)
(normal) To get the laughter flowing
Polka
(Balloons fly up past the camera; behind them, wipe to the factory floor. He rolls into view on a unicycle, back in his yellow suit/hat and juggling props; a football helmet is perched on the hat’s crown.)
Cheese: And it’s what I need to do, it’s who I need to be
(He jumps off and ditches the small items in favor of dancing with Pinkie.)
I thought I needed laughter, but it has to come from me
(March across the space, leading her and a line of workers; helmet gone.)
Follow right behind, if you please
(They imitate his silly walk, and all tumble when the Super-Slip banana peel from Act One skids under their hooves.)
Walk this way and I guarantee
(Somersaults and flips carry him into the lab.)
If you want laughter, then stick with Cheese
(spoken) Accordion solo! (Pinkie throws him a squeezebox.)
Pinkie: Shred it, Cheese!
(He whoops and begins to play and gambol his way around the facility, stopping ever so briefly to kick a switch that activates a machine to deliver pie after pie to an automated catapult. An occasional laugh punctuates the mayhem as the desserts go flying and he climbs up onto a pony-shaped mannequin set up in front of a target. One near miss…two…three…and then he takes a direct hit to the face that he is only too happy to lick off.)
(His tongue carries a wad of filling past the camera, the view wiping behind it to the factory floor; he jumps down onto a crate, no longer playing his accordion. One catch of a thrown cane later, he is up on his hind legs and doing a soft-shoe number.)
Cheese: And it’s what I need to do, it’s who I need to be
I thought I needed laughter, but it has to come from me
(Now wearing only a pair of overalls, he plops his rump onto a whoopee cushion to fire it off.)
Whoopee cushions and dungarees
(Jump down off a stack of crates and use a pointer to pick out key concepts on a blackboard.)
I know jokes like my ABC’s
(Toss the rod aside; spin the board on its frame.)
If you want laughter, then stick with Cheese
(The flip side presents an equation in pictorial form: rubber chicken plus laugh equals cheese. The nearest workers proceed to laugh themselves silly.)
Half-time feel; rock ballad with added bass guitar (B minor)
(Dissolve to Cheese standing under a spotlight, back in his suit and hat and holding a microphone. He slides to the edge of the illuminated circle on his hocks. A translucent Pinkie appears for the duration of each of her lines, equipped with her own mic.)
Cheese: And now my biggest test, the hardest fish to fry
Pinkie: Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
(Another spot picks out Sans.)
Cheese: A mind so analytical, a sense of humor dry
(Pinkie throws sparkles over herself and Sans.)
Pinkie: (spoken in rhythm) So dry
(Now Cheese pops up behind Sans from various angles.)
Cheese: To make you laugh would prove to me that this
experiment’s done
Pinkie: Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Cheese: Something ridiculous and not too smart, something
like a pun
Music pauses
(He crosses to the staid stallion without his mic.)
Cheese: Hey, Sans! How did the laughing bird’s eggs hatch? (Quizzical look.) They cracked up!
(A drum sting is heard as the camera zooms in to a close-up of Sans, who suddenly finds himself struggling to limit his reaction to a silly smile.)
Sans: Sir, that is so ridiculous!
(He gives up the fight and dissolves into a gale of full-throated laughter.)
Half-time feel ends; polka (D flat major)
(Pinkie bounds across to embrace Cheese.)
Cheese: Then that’s all I need to do, that’s all I need to see
(He leaps onto a crate surrounded by jubilant workers.)
I thought I needed laughter, but it had to come from me
(A kick line forms on one conveyor.)
All: Squirting flowers and knobby knees
(He juggles rubber chickens as Boneless Two rolls past on a chair and two mares spring back and forth.)
Rubber chickens and dungarees
(Gathering Pinkie and Sans in close, he puts googly-eye glasses on the former and Groucho Marx glasses on the latter.)
If you want laughter, then stick with Cheese
(Zoom out quickly to frame the three now standing atop a mountain of crates. Red carpets snake down on the three sides not facing the factory wall. As Pinkie and Sans slide/roll down the ones to either side, he tumbles along the one in front and comes up on his hocks, forelegs raised in blissful triumph.)
Song ends
(Laughter rings throughout the building as Sans removes his joke specs and gets a helping hoof up from his boss.)
Sans: It’s so good to have you back, sir. Finally we can get the factory back to how things used to be.
Cheese: Sans, my good pony, I don’t think I could run this factory anymore.
(Sans reacts with visible shock at this pronouncement; cut to Cheese’s perspective of him.)
Cheese: (pointing at him) But you can!
Sans: W-Without you? (adjusting glasses) I-I-I don’t understand.
(Cut to frame both; the yellow-clad party pony reels the pink one toward himself.)
Cheese: Pinkie was right. (Pan away to a knot of workers goofing around; he continues o.s.) This is what I need! (Back to the trio.) I just can’t have funny ideas. (Pinkie removes her silly glasses.) I need to wander the land and see ponies laughing at them! You can run the factory, but I need to live!
(He holds the last word out in an operatic tenor, shucking off his fancy duds and instantly back in his old poncho and hat.)
Cheese: (pointing over shoulder) And don’t think I’ve forgotten about you, little buddy!
(Pan quickly in that direction to stop on Boneless Two, slumped in a swivel chair and facing into the corner. A half-turn allows it to face him straight on, the miniature cowboy hat plunked back on its head at last. Cheese scoops it up and expertly tosses it to land on the poncho’s saddle.)
Cheese: I knew you’d be on board. (He heads for the open front doors, followed by Pinkie and Sans, and addresses Sans.) Don’t worry. Out in Equestria, I’ll have more great ideas for gags, and I’ll send them all to you!
Sans: Sir, are you sure this is what you want to do?
Cheese: Of course! (rising briefly to hind legs) It’s my life’s purpose!
Pinkie: Hey! That’s what I came here looking for!
Cheese: You did? (laughing) Well, come on! Let’s figure it out!
(The flighty pink mare considers the issue for a moment, letting her eyes rove across a factory floor now filled with merrymaking employees and a grinning Sans, and finally speaks as the camera zooms in.)
Pinkie: Actually, I think I’m good.
(Around her grinning visage, the background dissolves to her seat within the Castle’s throne room.)
Pinkie: And then I said goodbye, and then I came here! (Longer shot, framing a very slightly bored Applejack and Rarity on their thrones.) Oh, and then I gathered you all together and started telling you about it. First I said— (Twilight hastily stands up from her throne to cut off the tale.)
Twilight: Well, that sounds like quite a trip. (Cut to Fluttershy in her seat.)
Fluttershy: And…Cheese Sandwich just left his own factory? (One more shot frames Rainbow in attendance.)
Pinkie: Yep! But I think Sans Smirk’s hooves were the perfect ones to leave it in. As much as Cheese was born to wander Equestria and make ponies laugh in person, Sans was born to run that factory.
Applejack: And you don’t sound so worried about findin’ your life’s purpose anymore.
Pinkie: Nope! I figured out Cheese and I are pretty much the same.
(Close-up; behind her, a cart at the wall is loaded with trick cans of peanut brittle.)
Pinkie: We both need to see ponies laughing to feel fulfilled, and I already do that. My life is purposing itself all over the place! (Big grin.)
Rarity: (laughing) I agree completely.
Pinkie: Thanks. Oh, I almost forgot! (grabbing one can from the cart; pan from it to her) I got you all a little something from my trip. Who likes peanut brittle?
(The grin returns as she begins to pry the lid loose. Cut to a long shot of the Castle’s upper stories; a mighty explosion of confetti shakes the whole edifice and streams from the windows, accompanied by hearty laughter from those within. Zoom out slowly and fade to black.)
2, 4, 6, GREAAAT
Written by Kaita Mpambara
Produced by Devon Cody
Story editing by Josh Haber
Supervising direction by Jim Miller
Directed by Denny Lu, Mike Myhre
Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)
Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to the exterior of the School of Friendship during the day. Zoom in slowly on a bridge off to one side that spans its encircling lake as Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Snails make their way across toward the surrounding meadows.)
Twilight: I have to admit— (Close-up of the four.) —I was a little shocked when Princess Celestia told me she wanted to start a scholastic buckball league. But I was even more surprised that she wanted the first game to be between her school and ours! Apparently she’s a huge sports fan.
Pinkie: I always thought Celestia was kind of a jock— (flipping her mane) —just with really wavy hair.
(Twilight throws her the briefest of odd looks before continuing.)
Twilight: Anyway, we don’t have much time.
(Cut to various spots on and around the School’s buckball field, which is being fixed up by a team of construction workers—bleachers, new pole-mounted baskets, painting, and so on.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) The game is in two weeks. (They stop at the edge.) And I want all of you to coach the team.
(Zoom out on this last to frame the entire area, littered with unused fresh lumber and a few spare balls. Several students have gathered at midfield, talking animatedly among themselves and trying a move or two on their own. Back to the three newly drafted coaches—Pinkie smiling brightly, Snails halfway zoned out as usual, Fluttershy going into panicked hyperventilation as she stands between them.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) I know how you feel. (Cut to her, excitement building.) Young athletes ready to take the field—ooh, you can almost breathe in the excitement!
(The freaked-out pegasus stops doing exactly that, cheeks bulging out, and collapses to the grasss.)
Snails: Uh, I don’t think you should breathe it in so hard.
(Pinkie reaches o.s., comes up with a glass of water, and dashes the contents into Fluttershy’s face to bring her around; she shakes herself dry.)
Fluttershy: It’s just…two weeks doesn’t feel like a whole lot of time to train a whole team.
Pinkie: (helping her up) Mmm—maybe the School of Magic could play a few other schools first, like the Mane and Tail Styling College or the Scroll-Making Institute?
Twilight: Relax. You’re gonna do just fine.
Fluttershy: Um…what makes you so sure?
Twilight: Because I have faith in my friends—who also happen to be… (hovering excitedly) …the best buckball players in Equestria!
Pinkie: (cockily) Oh, yeah!
(Rushing onto the field, she slides to a stop behind an idle ball, bounces it up, and proceeds to knock it back and forth between her front hooves at a speed almost too fast to follow with the naked eye. After a few dozen reps, she deftly flicks it upward, then flops onto her back and launches it with one hind-leg kick. The sphere homes in on Fluttershy, who lifts off just in time to avoid stopping it with her face; instead, the long pink tail snags it out of the air and whips it back down the field. The half-closed eyes of Snails follow it lazily, and his magic hefts a basket for a neat catch above the gathered students’ heads.)
Fluttershy: I guess that is sort of true. (She touches down as Pinkie rejoins the other three.)
Twilight: I asked Rainbow Dash to help too, but I’m not sure when she’s—
(She gets no farther before a familiar multicolored contrail rockets past her and describes one full circuit of the field. Rainbow Dash comes to a stop in front of the four, hauling a large, bulging bag and wearing a baseball cap; a whistle hangs on a lanyard around her neck.)
Rainbow: Sorry I’m late. But when Twilight said she needed my help with the buckball team— (dumping bag out) —I figured I’d better grab every piece of coaching equipment I could find.
(This proves to be a pile of balls, jump ropes, dumbbells, and miniature traffic cones. All but Pinkie regard the collection with some degree of bewilderment.)
Rainbow: So, what should I focus on? (Drop the bag; grab a ball.) Offense? (Throw it; pick up a cone.) Defense? (Balance it upside down on her head, topped by a ball.) Trick plays?
Twilight: I was thinking of something even more important.
Rainbow: Awesome! Lay it on me. Whatever it is— (Now she hoists the entire pile of gear on her back.) —I’ll give it a hundred and twenty percent!
Twilight: I knew I could count on your enthusiasm! That’s why I want you to coach the cheer squad!
(This last sentence causes every muscle in the blue flyer’s wings to lock solid, dumping her gracelessly to the turf. She winds up buried under the mass of equipment and takes a few seconds to get her dumbfounded face clear of it.)
Rainbow: Cheerleadiing?
(She deflates into an indignant pout. Fade to black.)
OPENING THEME
Act One
(Opening shot: fade in to the field. The newly recruited players execute a few passing drills as the three coaches cross to them; pan to Twilight and Rainbow at the edge, the headmare turning toward the School.)
Rainbow: I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. (She extricates herself from the pile of gear and flies to catch up.) It’s just…when you said you wanted my help with something important, I thought you meant something important.
Twilight: The cheer squad is important.
(Rainbow wastes no time in laughing herself stupid, not noticing that Twilight has stopped walking and is aiming a mildly vexed glance after her. Once she catches on to this face, she stops short physically and vocally.)
Rainbow: Oh. (circling to face Twilight) Well, sure, cheer squad is totally important to somepony who isn’t me, but I’m more about ponies playing in the game, not cheering for it.
(She points back toward the field, drawing Twilight’s gaze to the laughter of the athletes practicing with a little demonstrative help from the coaches.)
Rainbow: I mean, it’s great that some ponies only want to cheer—though I don’t know why they would.
Twilight: Hmmm…well, maybe this’ll be a good opportunity for you to find out.
Rainbow: (disdainfully) Of course I’ve seen cheer squads before, on the sidelines, but… (uncertainly)…I’m not even a hundred percent sure what they do. I’ll probably just mess it up.
Twilight: (laughing) I think you might be surprised. In fact, I’m more sure than ever that you’re the perfect choice.
(She goes serenely on her way, leaving an unconvinced Rainbow in her wake. On the start of the next line, zoom out slightly to frame Snips standing alongside—outfitted in a long-sleeved shirt, tall floppy stovepipe hat, and streaks of face paint all in pink, violet, and pale green. He has adorned the clothing with pins and pennants, and a drawing of a ball flying toward a basket is taped over his cutie mark.)
Snips: I’m actually one hundred and twenty percent sure. And it’s a good thing, too. (dropping to haunches) The cheer squad really needs you.
Rainbow: What do you mean?
Snips: Well, I’ve been helping out. (standing again) And let’s put it this way. We’ve got two weeks until the big game, and…we could use two years. (confidently) But that’s all gonna change— (rising to hind legs) —because you’re here to save the day!
Rainbow: (not buying it) Ooo-kay… (Touch down from her hover.) …so why are you here?
Snips: What? A pony can’t show school spirit?
Rainbow: You don’t even go to this school.
Snips: (scoffing, affronted) Okay. When I went to the Buckball Hall of Fame…
(He darts away, the camera panning a short distance to frame him now standing by a closed trunk.)
Snips: …I found out buckball souvenirs are big bits!
(During this last, his aura opens the lid to expose assorted fan paraphernalia in the same color scheme as his outfit and dollar signs ring up briefly in his eyes as he floats out a pennant. He is referring to the events of “Common Ground.”)
Snips: (returning pennant to trunk) If Twilight’s team does well, I could start selling ’em full-time in Ponyville! (Cross to Rainbow.) So I have a vested interest, and you have an assistant coach.
(He pulls out a whistle on a lanyard around his neck, previously hidden under his shirt, and blows a blast; Rainbow responds with a disgusted groan and eye roll. Wipe to the two approaching a pair of closed doors within the School, Snips hauling his now-closed trunk. Excited chatter is heard from the other side as Snips knocks them open to reveal the darkened gym beyond, on whose floor the silhouettes of two mares are standing. Zoom in slightly as Rainbow and Snips enter; both figures speak with Valley Girl accents, the second more pronounced than the first.)
Mare 1: She’s here!
Mare 2: Get the lights!
(The clunk of a switch being thrown, and a spotlight is illuminating the pair—earth ponies in brown/red/white cheerleader uniforms with long sleeves. On the left is Shimmy Shake: pale brown coat; short red-brown mane/tail, the former tied back in a ponytail; darker red-brown eyes with brown shadow. The one on the right is Light Hoof: pale blue-gray coat, mane/tail in two shades of blue-green, medium blue eyes. Their cutie marks are hidden from view by their skirts. Throwing a quick nod to each other, they go into a choreographed routine that includes Shimmy tumbling across Light’s back and Light bounding over Shimmy’s.)
Shimmy: Over and over and over again!
Light: We want to dance for each other and for all of our friends!
(The difference in their accents picks Light out as the first speaker when the lights were down. They end with a high five, each balanced on one hind leg and pulling the other up to the vertical. The spotlight flicks off as the rest of the gym lights come on.)
Rainbow: (rolling eyes; the pair drop to all fours) Dancing. Right. I’ve seen you two around school, haven’t I? (Close-up of Shimmy.)
Shimmy: (laughing) I’m Shimmy Shake. (gesturing toward Light; zoom out to frame her) And this is Light Hoof.
Light: And we are your lead dancers.
(They strike a pose, but get only a bored shrug from the coach followed by a very puzzled look. She rises into a hover to get a clear view at what is behind them—or who, in this case: Ocellus, Smolder, and Yona.)
Rainbow: I didn’t know you three would be here.
Yona: (laughing) Yona want to cheer and make pony pyramid!
(Three hearty, four-legged stomps shake the dragon and changeling badly enough to dump them flat on the floor. Ocellus is first to stand again.)
Ocellus: And I thought this could be my chance to make an impression on everypony—you know, for something other than changing shape. (Rainbow lands in front of Smolder.)
Rainbow: I didn’t realize you were into school spirit, Smolder.
Smolder: (standing) Eh, I just came with these two. Guess they think you can make cheer squad cool or something.
Rainbow: Don’t count on it. (She paces pensively.)
Snips: Okay! Now that we’re all here, why don’t you tell us the plan? How are you gonna make us into the most awesome cheer squad ever?
Rainbow: Uh…
(She finishes the thought with an “I don’t know” grunt and shrug and lifts off, sparking a round of downhearted moans from the five students.)
Rainbow: I mean, if you guys were an actual buckball team, I’d have plenty of ideas. (She rises further and lands on an elevated windowsill.) But I don’t know anything about cheerleading.
Snips: (laughing) Oh, yes! Good one, Coach! But Headmare Twilight picked you for the job, so I’m pretty sure you know what you are doing.
(Said coach stares moodily out at the buckball field.)
Rainbow: If you say so.
Snips: (chuckling) Right. (to the others) Okay, gang. Let’s show Rainbow Dash what we’ve been working on, and she can take it from there.
Yona: Cheer squad can do that! (She begins stomping as Ocellus and Smolder fly off.)
Light: Yep. All we need is a little music!
(The camera pans quickly to follow her and Shimmy’s pointing forelegs and stops on Snips, now stationed next to a crank-operated phonograph. He drops the needle onto the record, starting an accompaniment that leans heavily on military-style drum cadences, and the two mares begin their routine—only to keep losing their balance and place thanks to Yona’s room-shaking stomps.)
Shimmy: Over and over and over again!
Light: We want to dance for each other and for all of our friends!
(She trails off into a yell as both pitch to the floor. Next, a worried Ocellus nudges Smolder, who is running an eye over a scroll and not looking too hyped up about it.)
Smolder: (woodenly, reading) “Two, four, six, eight.”
(Pass it off to Ocellus.)
Ocellus: (nearly inaudible) Uh…“Friendship school is really great.”
(Clawed orange fingers cup to a frilled ear in an attempt to hear better. The recitation ends with a weak grin from Ocellus and a helpless shrug from Smolder, who then exhales a thick jet of smoke that settles over Light, Shimmy, and Yona, The yak’s gallivanting ends with one final, camera-shaking crash, and the record stops as the view slowly clears.)
Smolder: Well, that was a disaster. (Close-up of Shimmy, flat on her belly.)
Shimmy: It’s kind of hard to stick to our choreography when the floor is moving. (Pan to a similarly disposed Light.)
Light: (scoffing) Yeah, Yona. Your stomps are a little too powerful. (Zoom out; both are pinned under Yona’s bulk.)
Yona: Can we make pony pyramid instead?
Ocellus: Maybe we should figure out what cheers we should do first.
Smolder: (sarcastically) Pssh. Yeah, because that’ll fix everything.
Snips: (addressing the o.s. Rainbow) So, I mean there’s a few…uh, a lot of problems, but nothing you can’t solve, right?
(The Wonderbolt snaps only partway out of her buckball-induced reverie. Ocellus has put the scroll aside.)
Rainbow: Huh? Oh, yeah, listen. You guys don’t have anything to worry about.
Smolder: We don’t?
Rainbow: Nope. In fact, I think what you all just did is totally fine. You guys have got this. So, uh, I’m just gonna head down to the field. (She flies down to hover just above them.) Uh, great practice, everypony!
(And out she goes, the camera shifting to frame five extremely confused cheer squad members and one equally flummoxed assistant coach through the doors before they swing shut. Fade to black.)
Act Two
(Opening shot: fade in to the School’s entrance hall. Rainbow flies calmly into view and lands in close-up to continue on hoof, but stops short with a pained grunt as her tail is jerked out straight behind her. A longer shot puts it in Snips’ grip.)
Rainbow: What are you doing?
Snips: (with effort) What are you doing? You gotta come back and coach the squad!
(A brief tug-of-war ends in Rainbow’s favor; she resumes her walk as Snips scuttles to catch up.)
Rainbow: I watched them cheer stuff. Looked fine to me. (He cuts her off, pushing back with a grunt.)
Snips: Well, it’s not! Do you know what’ll happen if they do what they just did at the big game?
(She disengages herself and lifts off, causing him to fall on his face and lose his hat.)
Rainbow: Uh, nothing?
Snips: (standing, calling after her) Uh, wrong!
(This time, he brings her to a stop by getting a telekinetic grip on her tail while plunking the headwear back in place.)
Snips: A good cheer squad gets the fans excited, which gets the team excited. But if nopony’s excited— (with effort, as Rainbow strains to pull free) —then nopony buys any souvenirs!
(She yanks loose on this last word and pivots to face him in midair.)
Rainbow: I think you’re blowing this a little out of proportion.
Snips: Point is, if I’m going to make any bits at these games, that squad has to get better! And to do that, they need a coach!
Rainbow: (gasping softly, smiling) You know what? You’re right! Why don’t you do it? (plucking a pennant from his hat) I mean, you’re the one with a vested interest.
(Off she goes, cavalierly flicking the tiny flag down for him to catch. The bucktoothed mouth curves into a calculating smile as the view dissolves to a close-up of Snails—blindfolded, levitating himself, and sitting cross-legged just above the field with both forelegs raised as if meditating.)
Snails: The trick to being a good buckball keeper is to do nothing. (trance-like tone) Just empty your mind. Be the ball.
(A longer shot frames three School players, one of each tribe, standing before him and wearing jerseys that match the of Snips’ outfit—the official School colors, no doubt. A basket has been placed here.)
Pegasus: Uh, balls don’t have minds.
Snails: Exactly!
(Perplexed looks flick from one player to another, but they have no time to mull over his words before Fluttershy and Pinkie start slinging balls at them. All three duck and cover, but Snails expertly wraps the basket in his aura and brings it up to catch every shot. Wonderment yields to a spate of eager chatter as they get upright, and a longer shot puts Rainbow in the bleachers and enjoying both this display and a bag of popcorn as Smolder flies in to stare her down.)
Smolder: Why are you watching Snails’ weird practice when you’re supposed to be practicing with us?
Rainbow: (chuckling) Snails’ practice is definitely weird. (Her eyes pop as the words sink in.) Uh, I thought Snips was practicing with you. (Smolder lands.)
Smolder: (sourly) He was.
(She gestures toward the field; pan to bring the other four squad members into view. Ocellus is now wearing a jersey, scarf, sweatband on one foreleg, and a huge fluffy wig, Yona has been fitted with a stovepipe hat and a cape that drapes over the blanket on her back. Both of them have been daubed with face paint, and Light, Shimmy, and Yona have all had pennants stuck into their manes. Both these new accessories and the pins adorning all four are in School colors, and not a single one of them is happy about having had the lot forced on them by Snips.)
Shimmy: (sighing) Do you have any idea how hard it is to dance in this stuff?
Ocellus: (fidgeting; buttons rattle) Plus, all these buttons jingle so much, you can’t hear my cheers.
Smolder: Speaking up might help a little.
Rainbow: So don’t dance and cheer.
Yona: Uh, then what cheer squad do?
Rainbow: (shrugging) I don’t know. (Smolder leans hard into her face.)
Smolder: Maybe you should! Or, whatever. You’re the coach! You’re supposed to come up with stuff for us to do.
Rainbow: (a bit flustered) Okay. I’ve got something for you to do.
(This camera angle picks out the two dancers’ cutie marks for the first time, previously hidden by their skirts: horseshoe and pompoms for Light, wind gust and pompoms for Shimmy. Close-up of Snails floating in the School gym, exactly as he was on the field, and zoom out slowly.)
Snails: Just do nothing. Empty your minds. Be the squad.
(The camera motion brings Rainbow, Snips, and the five squad members—minus their new duds—on the end of this line.)
Smolder: (testily) We are the squad.
Snails: (laughing, pushing blindfold up) Oh, yeah.
Snips: (tossing a pennant into his trunk) At least helping sell my souvenirs was…something.
(His magic closes the lid and ties a band of cloth across every member’s eyes.)
Yona: Yona still not understand how this make us better.
(She pushes hers away from one eye; cut briefly to her perspective of Rainbow heading for the doors, then back to her.)
Yona: Huh?
(She breaks into a spooked gallop, the blindfold falling away. Profile close-up of the departing coach, who stops short as a cloven hoof is thrust toward her.)
Yona: (from o.s.) Professor Dash needs to stay and coach!
Rainbow: (groaning) You guys asked me to come up with something, and I did. (The other four uncover their eyes; Smolder pops up to a hover.)
Smolder: I don’t think “nothing” counts.
Rainbow: (pacing) Then I’m out of ideas! (Snails magically maneuvers himself over to her.)
Snails: (trance-like) This is the School of Friendship. If you need ideas, you should ask your friends for help. (He drifts away.)
Rainbow: Ugh, fine.
(She resumes her exit from the gym. Dissolve to a long shot of her and Pinkie on the field and zoom in slowly; she explains her situation, and Pinkie thinks hard for a second before smiling and peeling out in a cloud of dust. She wheels in her party cannon and sets it off, blasting the hapless pegasus squarely in the face with confetti and streamers, but this tactic seems to do little good. Wipe to Rainbow laying out the problem for Rarity, who stands in the doorway of her classroom. A split second after she finishes, the dressmaker is wheeling out a rack of five sparkly cheerleader uniforms in School colors, one considerably larger than the others. Sets of matching hoof-mounted pompoms hang from one end of the rack. Rarity grins over her latest burst of creativity; Rainbow looks the new threads over uneasily, but manages a humoring smile.)
(Wipe to her and Applejack standing outside the main barn at Sweet Apple Acres. The workhorse beams and gestures to a hay bale as Big Macintosh pushes it over to them with his head. It leaves her even more puzzled than the cheerleading outfits did, but she grins gamely. Another wipe shifts her to within Zecora’s hut, the zebra leaving the brew she has been stirring in her caldron once Rainbow finishes giving her the rundown. From here, dissolve to her hovering over the squad members in the gym.)
Rainbow: Okay. Since you guys have been nagging me nonstop about this cheer stuff for, like, ever—
Smolder: It has literally been one day. (Close-up of Rainbow.)
Rainbow: —I went around and got everything you need.
(Zoom out quickly. Something large, irregularly shaped, and covered with a tarp sits on the floor before the students, and she yanks the covering away to let them see: hay bales, party cannon, rack of cheerleader outfits, a few extra pompoms, a book. Light and Shimmy go straight for the rack, Yona marvels at her reflection in the artillery piece’s barrel, and Smolder pokes skeptically at the hay.)
Smolder: Uh, what are we supposed to do with hay?
Rainbow: Beats me, but Applejack seemed pretty sure about it. Oh! I almost forgot. (She throws the book over to Ocellus.)
Ocellus: A rhyming dictionary?
Rainbow: Yeah, Zecora’s a lot less helpful than you’d think. That’s from the library so you can come up with cheers. (turning toward doors) Okay! Good practice! (Close-up of Smolder.)
Smolder: So you’re just leaving again?
(Pan/tilt up to the daredevil, who stops short with a groan at having been foiled again and turns to face her.)
Rainbow: Look. I talked to my friends, and they said this is the stuff you need. Wouldn’t a true cheer squad be able to figure out what to do with it?
Light: But Fluttershy and Pinkie wanted us to show ’em everything we’ve come up with tomorrow!
Shimmy: They want us to get the team all excited before the big game!
Rainbow: Well, then, it’s a good thing I got you all this stuff. You better get to work!
(She does actually manage to make it out of the gym this time, knocking the doors open in her haste. Cut to the properly confounded squad members as their slam echoes through the space, then pan quickly to Snips sitting on top of his trunk and magically holding/shaking a small upside-down sack. A single coin falls out and lands on his hoof—slow sales day, apparently.)
Snips: Don’t look at me!
(He hunkers down and eyes the sack dejectedly. Wipe to a spot somewhere above ground level outside and tilt down to the field, where Fluttershy and Pinkie are standing in front of the bleachers. A ball bounces off the midfield line and is promptly chased by the School team’s pegasus; catching it in a wing, she spins her entire body to build momentum and lets it rip toward the earth pony. A hard buck sends it toward the unicorn, whose field brings up a basket; the ball hits the edge, bounces and rolls through most of a complete circle, then drops in. He extracts it and sets the container down afterward.)
Fluttershy: Good work, everypony! Let’s take a break!
(A shrill whistle sounds as the players clear the field; cut to Rainbow, hovering and pulling a hoof from between her teeth.)
Rainbow: Yeah! (More whistles; she drops to the ground.) Wow! This team is really shaping up! Nice job.
Fluttershy: Thanks! I’m excited to see what you’ve been up to.
Pinkie: (rising briefly to hind legs) Yeah! I can’t wait to see the cheer squad!
(The unlikely coach answers with a long guffaw, but lets it peter out upon realizing that neither of the others has joined in.)
Rainbow: Oh. You’re serious.
(A visibly down-in-the-mouth Light trudges past in the fore, now wearing one of Rarity’s cheerleader outfits. Pinkie is hopping with elation in an instant.)
Pinkie: WOO-HOO!!
(Cut to all five, all kitted out in the uniforms and not looking too thrilled. All wear pompoms on their hooves except for Smolder, the only biped. Shimmy is towing in a cart loaded with hay bales, and Ocellus tends to a phonograph. Yona has a small pompom tucked in above each ear.)
Pinkie: Go, team! This is so exciting!
Fluttershy: (to Rainbow) Well, I’m sure you’ve put in a lot of hard work.
Rainbow: (sitting on haunches) How much work does cheer squad need?
(A funny look from the yellow mare. Now a mass of souvenirs is held into view; on the start of the next line, cut to a longer shot that frames Snips hawking them.)
Snips: Anypony want to buy an official School of Friendship cheer squad hair dec?
(His magic lodges a pennant in Pinkie’s mane as he says this, and he then zips over to her.)
Snips: Now I personally would buy them before the performance. (Dart away.)
Fluttershy, Pinkie: Huh?
(The drum-heavy tune that Light and Shimmy used for their Act One rehearsal begins to play on the phonograph, and the camera pans to the half of the field opposite these three. The party cannon has been placed near midfield and is aimed slightly over their heads, the cart has been put away, and Yona stands between two bales at the rear of the formation. Ocellus consults the rhyming dictionary she was given, and Smolder now has a pair of pompoms covering her hands. As Light and Shimmy do their thing, Yona’s stomps leave them badly shaken up as before.)
Shimmy: Over and over and over again!
Light: We want to dance for each other and for all of our friends!
Smolder: (halfheartedly waving pompoms)
School of Friendship, rah, rah, rah.
Ocellus: Let’s win this game and hit the…
(Check the book.) …uh…oh, what rhymes with “rah”?
…spa?
(The two dancers backflip onto the bales as Yona’s stomps shake the needle off the record and cause the cannon’s muzzle to droop just a few degrees.)
Light, Shimmy: (softly, urgently) Yona!
(The yak halts her hooves with a sheepish grin, but the cannon continues to swivel down until it is pointing directly at the five. The breech swells to ridiculous proportions, as if the whole thing were an overinflated balloon, and all have just enough time for one terrified cringe before it discharges and blows them flat. Amid the hail of School-colored confetti, Shimmy shakes some sense back into her head and an infuriated Smolder spits out a mouthful. Cut to Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Snips.)
Pinkie: (sitting, removing pennant from mane) Uh, I know I said I couldn’t wait to see the cheer squad, but… (Laugh.) …maybe I could’ve waited just a teensy bit longer.
Rainbow: (from o.s., stoked) Oh, yeah! Nice one!
(Pan quickly to the other end of the field. She knocks a ball into the air with her head for the School team’s unicorn to catch, but he—facing the catastrophe—is so thrown off that he forgets to move the basket.)
Rainbow: Huh?
(A half-turn tells her the whole story in exceedingly clear detail: hay bales knocked askew, confetti all over the place, two dismayed team coaches, and five cheer squad members who look ready to either flee the field or burn it to cinders.)
Rainbow: (puzzled) What?
(None of the students have any words for her. Fade to black.)
Act Three
(Opening shot: fade in to the exterior of the School and zoom in slowly.)
Rainbow: (voice over) I don’t know what everypony’s so upset about.
(Overhead shot of her, Snips, and the squad in the gym; she tosses a ball idly, and all have removed their hoof pompoms.)
Rainbow: So it wasn’t great. Cheerleading’s never great. That’s why everypony gets up to get a snack during it.
(If Yona’s sudden, sobbing charge out of the room is any indication, these were the least helpful words the jock could have possibly said.)
Rainbow: What is the big deal?
Shimmy: If you don’t know, there’s no point in us trying to explain it to you!
Light: Lead dancers, out!
Light, Shimmy: (tossing heads disdainfully) Huh! (Exeunt the pair.)
Smolder: (to Rainbow) It’s not that we were bad—it’s that you didn’t even want to try to help us get better!
Rainbow: (sputtering a bit) Didn’t try? What are you talking about? I got you a party cannon! It’s not my fault you couldn’t figure out how to use it right.
Ocellus: Well, you could have showed us! (She copies Yona’s tearful exit.)
Rainbow: Whoa. Ponies might actually care about cheer squad if she cheered like that all the time.
Smolder: Why would you say ponies don’t care about cheer squad?
Rainbow: (dropping to haunches) Because they don’t.
Smolder: (kicking ball away) No, you don’t! (Surprised, Rainbow stands again.) But they do! I bet Headmare Twilight does, and you know what? I do too! I actually got excited when I found out you were gonna be our coach! I figured, if anypony can make cheer squad awesome, it’s you!
Rainbow: Me? Why?
Smolder: Because everything’s always awesome with you! Or twenty percent cooler! Or…whatever! You’re the most enthusiastic pony in Equestria when it’s something you care about. I just wish we were one of those things.
(She plods out of the gym, leaving Rainbow alone with Snips. The young unicorn exerts horn-power to open his trunk and stuff his hat in, then does the same with the whistle under his jersey during the next line.)
Snips: And it looks like my assistant-cheer-coach-slash-souvenir-selling business is a bust. (Close the lid.) So I’m gonna take off, unless you can think of something else for me to do.
(Rainbow mulls things over for perhaps one second before coming up to a smile of dawning comprehension.)
Rainbow: Maybe I can.
(So Snips magically flips the trunk open and gets his whistle back in place. Wipe to Ocellus, fast asleep and snoring quietly in the top bunk of a School dormitory room, and tilt down to frame Yona doing likewise on the bottom level. Both are jolted awake by a blast from the little huckster’s whistle as he leans into view. He has shed his fan trappings, and they have changed out of their cheerleading togs.)
Yona: Yaks hate loud noises!
(Ocellus falls out of bed with a scream, blanket and all, but is caught by Snips’ field just short of the floor.)
Snips: Squad meeting! (Set her down.) Outside! ASAP!
(He pronounces it “A-sap,” then heads for the door. Wipe to Light and Shimmy sitting side by side on mats spread on the floor of a classroom, eyes closed and heads tilted back. They have changed into their original brown/red/white outfits. Gentle music plays from a phonograph behind them as they shift into a yoga position—all four legs spread side, heads down, rumps lifted—and the camera shifts to a profile close-up. The sound of the needle being yanked off the record sends tranquility right down the drain, and Light bends her head down to look between her legs. Cut to her upside-down perspective of the culprit—Snips, who blows his whistle.)
Snips: Dance ponies, buckball field! Pronto!
(Back to the pair, Shimmy losing her balance and crashing to the floor, then wipe to said field. He ambles across the green as sonorous snores ring through the air and soon finds Smolder napping under the bleachers. She sits with her back against one of the supports, cheerleader outfit and pompoms lying in the dirt. A whistle blast wakes her up in a hurry.)
Snips: Hey! Dragon! Get out here and join your squad!
(Puzzled, she grabs her gear and follows orders. By the time she emerges from the bleachers, she has donned her outfit and found the other four members already present and wearing theirs.)
Smolder: So what? Is there some new button you want to sell?
Snips: Not a button…
(Rainbow’s contrail slashes a wide arc through the air, and she pulls into a hover—but the squad members just mumble disapprovingly and start off the field. They now have their pompoms on.)
Smolder: Not this again.
Light: Sorry, we’re not buying.
Rainbow: Wait! (She zooms ahead to stop them.) Look. I know I haven’t been a great coach because I don’t care about cheerleading. Buuut all of you do, and I care about you. So I guess maybe I care about cheer squad. (descending to face a smug Smolder, sitting) And a good friend reminded me that I can make anything I care about totally awesome. (The collective mood begins to rise.) So— (Stand.) —from now on, I’m gonna give this thing a hundred and twenty percent. And I expect the same from you. (Point to Light/Shimmy.) We are gonna dance. (To Ocellus.) We are gonna cheer. (The changeling grins.) We’re gonna make the biggest pony pyramid Equestria’s ever seen!
(She rockets into the sky; cut to Smolder and Yona.)
Rainbow: (from o.s.) And when we’re done… (Cut to her, hovering.) …we’re gonna make sure everypony on that field is so pumped up, they’ll forget they even came to see a game!
(An interruptive noise from Snips.)
Snips: (floating items into view as he names them) But not so pumped up that they forget to buy a pennant, or a button, or a quality souvenir T-shirt.
(Long pause and funny looks from all others present.)
Snips: What?
(Dissolve to a close-up of the phonograph with needle set back on the spinning record, then cut to the field. Yona begins to stomp, shaking Light and Shimmy off their hooves even despite the pair’s attempts to synchronize their moves with hers, and Rainbow claps a frustrated hoof to her forehead. She gets an idea upon spotting the whistle that hangs around her neck; wipe to an extreme close-up of it being raised to her lips and blown in a steady sequence of short blasts. A longer shot puts her facing Yona, who quickly gets her hooves moving in time with the signals. The screen split vertically, with the yak in the left half and Light/Shimmy now successfully doing their choreography without ending up on the grass. In fullscreen, Rainbow lets her whistle drop and offers a broad grin.)
(Wipe to her blowing it in Ocellus’s face as the latter shudders and stammers her way through a cheer with the help of her rhyming dictionary. The blue mare leans close and cups a hoof to her ear, but can barely hear any words—and the other four, several feet away, are faring no better. Rainbow looks around herself, the camera panning to follow one glance and stopping on a discarded megaphone. Wipe to Ocellus, who raise the item to her mouth and tries again; now her voice is so greatly magnified that she nearly drops it out of alarm. Nevertheless, she smiles at its efficacy and begins putting both it and the dictionary to use, easily making herself heard by the others.)
(Wipe to Smolder in flight, scattering confetti and blowing a jet of smoke that sends all those on the field into a violent coughing fit. Once the air has cleared, Rainbow has a new brainstorm and starts digging through the pile of sports equipment she brought out in the prologue. She comes up with a pair of red/yellow signal flags, the kind that might be used to send messages by semaphore, and Smolder smiles and nods. Wipe to a close-up of the flags being aloft into view and waved gently back and forth; the dragon soars overhead and blows smoke that settles into a giant ring as she circles the field. Rainbow triumphantly waves the flags in a new signal, prompting Snips to move the party cannon into position. It tilts down to the horizontal, now aimed directly at his face, and he peers quizzically down the barrel an instant before it goes off and blasts him onto his back, sending his whistle off to who knows where. Sitting up with a faceful of confetti, he sees the squad and their coach laughing over the mishap and smiles along with them.)
(Dissolve to the field. The training equipment and construction debris have been cleared away, and the stands are filled with fans cheering for either the School team or their opponents in a spirited game. Two facts are readily apparent. One, Princess Celestia has come to see this game and is seated next to Twilight—this can only be the game between their two schools. Two, all three members of Celestia’s team are unicorns, the “earth pony” player wearing an engraved ring around the base of her horn and the “pegasus” sporting a pair of translucent butterfly wings. They are in light blue-green jerseys with edging in white and pale green. Celestia’s team has the ball, the pegasus heading it down to the earth pony for a shot on goal, only for the School pegasus to bang it away with her own noggin. Her unicorn teammate shifts his basket for a clean catch and basks in a round of cheers. On the sidelines, a unicorn referee stallion uses his magic to flip a score placard and change the tally to 1-1.)
Twilight: YAHOO!!
Celestia: I realize the game of buckball traditionally requires an earth pony, a pegasus, and a unicorn, but I appreciate you allowing my students to compete.
Twilight: Of course! And the wings and magical dampening ring you made seem to be working really well.
Celestia: Indeed, though not as well as your team.
(With not a speck of warning, she jumps straight up to the thundering Royal Canterlot Voice.)
Celestia: COME ON, SCHOOL OF MAGIC!!
(Pan quickly to Fluttershy/Pinkie/Rainbow at the sidelines, the first mar dropping into a terrified huddle.)
Fluttershy: Ohhhh, the suspense is horrible! I’m the most nervous I’ve ever been—and that’s saying something.
Rainbow: I know how you feel!
Pinkie: Don’t worry. Celestia’s team might be tough, but we can still win this thing!
Rainbow: What? Oh, yeah, totally. But I wasn’t talking about the game. (jittering in place) Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on…
(A stallion announcer’s voice is heard over the loudspeakers.)
Announcer: And that’s the end of the first half! (Rainbow pops into a hover with a panicked cry.)
Rainbow: Sorry! Can’t talk right now. (She zips away.)
Fluttershy: (to Pinkie) I sure hope Dash being nervous is a good sign.
(Murmurs course through the bleachers as the squad’s musical accompaniment record starts to play. Yona stands between two hay bales, stomping on the first and third beats of each bar. Shimmy and Light raise their heads in turn and flick each other a confident glance before starting their routine.)
Shimmy: Over and over and over again!
Light: We’ll cheer for our team ’til the very end!
(The grinning yak continues her ponderous rhythm, which is answered by bleacher bums pounding the seats with their hooves on every beat. The music shifts keys at this point, from C major to E flat major. Cheers erupt from every row as Smolder makes an aerial pass to scatter confetti, and Rainbow waves the signal flags as a cue to follow it up with a field-circling blast of smoke. The unlikely coach smiles proudly as the whole place shakes with the combined stomping of Yona and the crowd, and Ocellus strides through the slowly clearing haze and flips to midfield with megaphone in hoof. She has no trouble making herself heard with lung-power alone, and only deploys the device to boost her voice for all her words starting with “hip” below.)
Ocellus: Everypony in the crowd, if you’re feeling hip,
When I say “friend,” you say “ship”!
(The music shifts back to C major.)
Friend!
Crowd: Ship!
Ocellus: Friend!
Crowd: Ship!
Ocellus: Welcome, everypony, to the halftime show!
(Light and Shimmy jump onto the bales.)
We’re the Friendship Squad, and we’re ready to go!
(E flat major.)
We’re here to cheer and get you all excited!
(The dancers shift their positions to put two hooves each on Yona’s back.)
If you’d like to join in, then you’re all invited!
(She flies across the field and pulls up to hover in front of one section, the key shifting to F major.)
It’s a simple cheer, so don’t chime in late!
(Somersault back to balance atop Light/Shimmy; Smolder perches on her in turn, and the party cannon’s muzzle peeks out through the formation.)
Squad: It goes, “Two! Four! Six! Great!”
(The music stops on a G major chord, in time with a mighty confetti/streamer-filled detonation, and Smolder adds the finishing touch with a massive, fiery exhalation to draw a tidal wave of cheers and whoops from the spectators. Rainbow claps and laughs to herself, then whisks back to where Fluttershy and Pinkie have been watching with jaws ready to hit the ground.)
Rainbow: Not bad, right?
Fluttershy, Pinkie: They…were…awesome! (The squad revels in its collective success.)
Rainbow: Well, they have a pretty decent coach.
(She gets a round of laughs and appreciative nods from the five as they head off the field. A basket floats across the screen in close-up and is pulled back, shifting the view to the second half of the game, and the ball plunks neatly in for a goal. Cheers erupt as the camera zooms out to frame it under the control of the unicorn on Celestia’s team.)
Announcer: And that’s the game! (The pegasus and earth pony embrace joyfully.) Final score—School of Magic, five; School of Friendship, four.
(The referee uses his field to flip the score placards on the end of this line, after which Fluttershy addresses the School team.)
Fluttershy: Nice work, everyone. You can’t win them all.
Pinkie: Sometimes that’s just how the cupcake crumbles. (The crowd slowly clears out.)
Rainbow: (trotting past) You guys were amazing!
(She does not even slow down to acknowledge the deflated sighs from team and coaches, but instead stops to face the squad at the sidelines. Ocellus has put away her megaphone.)
Rainbow: It was flawless. I can’t think of any way that could’ve been better!
Smolder: (sourly, rolling eyes) We coulda won the game.
Rainbow: (laughing dismissively) The game was just a sideshow. (sitting on haunches; pan away from her to them) You guys were the main event!
(Their outlook brightens a bit at this, and Rainbow gets upright as Twilight and Celestia cross to them.)
Celestia: I’m glad to see such good sports-ponyship on display. Your cheer squad was an inspiration, Rainbow Dash. I’ll have to start one at my school as well.
Twilight: (slyly) Wow, Rainbow Dash! It’s almost like you were the perfect pony to coach cheer squad after all.
Rainbow: Wait a second. Was this one of those things where you knew the lesson I needed to learn before I learned it?
Twilight: You mean like how you don’t have to care about a thing other ponies like as long as you care about the ponies who like it? (innocently) Nope. Don’t know what you’re talking about.
(Her big dopey grin earns a groan from Rainbow, but this vexation lasts for only a moment until she smiles over her shoulder toward the squad. Cut to a long shot of the gathering and zoom out slowly.)
Celestia: (to Twilight) Nicely done.
(The two trade a high five, and all laugh as the view fades to black.)
A TRIVIAL PURSUIT
Written by Brittany Jo Flores
Produced by Devon Cody
Story editing by Josh Haber
Supervising direction by Jim Miller
Directed by Denny Lu, Mike Myhre
Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)
Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to Spike pacing fretfully before a set of closed doors within the Castle of Friendship. He is clad in a nightshirt and nightcap.)
Spike: Okay, Spike. You know you might get distracted by the stacks of books and copious charts, so remember what to say.
(He hovers up to a wall mirror and addresses his reflection.)
Spike: (firmly) Twilight, I know you’re in full prep mode for Trivia Trot tomorrow, but you need to get some sleep. (relaxing, chuckling) Huh. Nice work! You got this.
(Dragon and image trade a fist bump. Cut to the other side of the doors as he pushes one open and enters, stopping short with a gasp after only a couple of steps. Zoom out to put him within the library, which is conspicuously devoid of all other life.)
Spike: This is weird.
(Close-up, ground level; he scratches his head and turns to leave, but runs flat into a fixedly grinning Twilight Sparkle. The Princess is wearing a grungy, oversized T-shirt decorated with the face of DJ P0N-3 and cut to accommodate her wings.)
Spike: Uh, Twilight! What are you doing?
Twilight: Great question, Spike. (She levitates a desk bell.) And the answer is… (Ring.) …going to bed. Brains need eight hours of sleep to perform at optimum levels.
Spike: (scratching head) Oh. Uh, cool. I thought I’d have to force you to go to bed, since tomorrow is your chance to be the first pony to win Ponyville Trivia three times in a row. That is tomorrow, right?
Twilight: The answer is… (Ring.) …yes!
(The little guy tries to sidestep, but she cuts him off.)
Twilight: (nudging him) Ask me another one.
Spike: (cautiously, backing off) Another what?
Twilight: Another question! I want to stay in the zone. That way I can sleep in the zone, wake up in the zone— (bucking at the air) —and be totally in the zone tomorrow.
(Spike thinks very, very hard as she leans expectantly toward him, that crazed grin now even wider and a hoof poised to hit the bell.)
Spike: Uh…this is a whole new level of Twilighting, isn’t it? Heh.
Twilight: The answer is… (Ring.) …yes!
Spike: Are you okay?
Twilight: The answer is… (Ring.) …yes!
(Cut to the corridor outside the library; he backs warily out through the still-open door to keep ahead of her, bell and all.)
Spike: Well…good night, Twilight. Good luck with your brain sleep and getting that third win. Heh.
Twilight: The answer is… (Ring; rise up to hind legs.) …good night! And…yes!
(She hops off in a giddy, half-whacked-out haze and takes the bell with her, leaving a thunderstruck Spike standing at the library doors.)
Spike: That wasn’t a question.
(He sets off in the opposite direction. Fade to black.)
OPENING THEME
Act One
(Opening shot: fade into a stretch of a busy Ponyville thoroughfare during the day. Twilight and Spike emerge from a side street, both properly rested and no longer wearing their sleeping clothes; Twilight carries her saddlebags, but not the bell.)
Twilight: I’m glad you decided to come watch your first Trivia Trot, Spike. I hope the rules aren’t too confusing.
Spike: Rules? Isn’t trivia just asking questions and answering them?
Twilight: (giggling; close-up) The Trot is a little more involved than that.
(Her magic extracts a book from one bag, its cover presents a question mark fashioned from a horseshoe and overlaid on a circle divided into eight wedges, each a different color.)
Twilight: Let’s start with the first category of rules. (Open it and start reading.) “Categories, Rule One. Each category must be categorically designated and thoroughly researched in all categorical…”
(As she reels off the verbiage, the camera pans ahead of her to Spike and the enthusiasm that is slowly draining from his face. Her last words fade out in time with a dissolve that shows just how much of a slog this journey has become for him, and her next words fade up to take over.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) “…participating in Trivia Trot.” (Pan back to her as she continues.) And that wraps up Rule Forty-One-point-Six.
(They are now traveling a path that runs through the grasslands outside the town proper.)
Twilight: Of course, the exception to that, Forty-One-point-Six-A, is interesting itself because— (Spike stops abruptly and jumps up to a hover.)
Spike: Oh, uh, look, we’re here!
(Zoom out. They have wound up at a building whose rooftop sign depicts the same graphic as on the rulebook cover, with a few extra question marks scattered around; a similarly decorated lectern stands by the doors. Spike lands, and Twilight returns the book to her saddlebags.)
Twilight: (trotting excitedly in place, jumping ahead) Ooh, I can’t wait to see who my partner’s gonna be!
Spike: You don’t get to pick your own team?
Twilight: (floating/opening book) Rule Twenty-point-One-Six-B, Spike. To keep things fair, the teams are randomly selected. (Close it.)
Spike: (dryly) Twenty-point-One-Six-B. (Put it away.) How could I forget?
(Now the egghead’s field extracts a scroll.)
Twilight: And based on the regular attendees… (Unroll; it is covered with sketches of ponies’ faces and accompanying bar graphs.) …I’ve charted every potential teammate’s strengths and weaknesses, plus my percentage of winning with each one.
(Top to bottom: Fluttershy, Applejack, Doctor Whooves, Rainbow Dash, Bulk Biceps, Cranky Doodle Donkey’s wife Matilda, and Pinkie Pie’s sister Maud. Spike flies up into her face.)
Spike: Hah! I knew there’d be a chart! (Touch down.) Glad I’m just watching. I don’t think I could handle being your teammate. What if I let you down? (Twilight rolls/stows the document.)
Twilight: (laughing) You could never let me down, Spike. But I’m glad you’re watching too. I’m gonna need all the support I can get for win number three!
(Hooves and webbed wings propel the pair toward the doors; cut to just inside as they enter and zoom out. The place is packed with ponies in the throes of lively conversation and strategy discussions, and Granny Smith sits at one table near the doors, a glass bowl filled with paper slips set before her. She has traded her apple-patterned shawl for an oversized bow tie cut from the same material. Starry curtains and hanging banners are present in abundance, as are a banner and lectern at the far wall that carry the rulebook’s logo.)
Applejack: (tauntingly, crossing to Twilight) Well, well, well. If it ain’t our reignin’ champ. Think you can win again this week, Twilight?
Twilight: Everypony here has a different area of expertise. (Her magic picks up a quill and blank slip from Granny’s table.) So it really is anypony’s game. (Draw her cutie mark; set the quill down.) But, yes!
(The paper is folded and dropped into the bowl as Rainbow flies over to the pair.)
Rainbow: Then you better hope you get paired with me, because I’m gonna rule this game! (Sound of the doors opening.)
Sunburst: (from o.s.) We’ll just see about that.
(Purple, green, and red-violet eyes turn confusedly toward that voice; cut to the bespectacled stallion walking in.)
Sunburst: (drawing/adding his mark to the bowl as Twilight did) I didn’t come all the way from the Crystal Empire to lose. (magically removing/cleaning glasses on his cloak) I hope you realize I have the highest percentage of correct answers— (They go back on.) —and I aim to keep it that way.
(Rainbow expresses her opinion of this boast with an impatient huff.)
Rainbow: I hope you realize, not every category is gonna be “Spells So Old Not Even Starswirl the Bearded Remembers Them.”
(On the next line, cut to Fluttershy entering the joint, cradling her rabbit Angel with a wing and using a foreleg to run a brush through his fur.)
Fluttershy: I hope there’s one on fur maintenance for adorable creatures, because I’ve been brushing up.
(She giggles at her own pun, but a close-up of the white face tells just how little he thinks of both is and the grooming.)
Mudbriar: (from o.s.) Technically— (Cut to him and Maud approaching and holding hooves.) —that was a category last week.
Maud: It won’t be in the game tonight.
Twilight: Rule Thirty-Seven-point Two-C. No back-to-back categories. But I think Fluttershy was joking. (Sound of the doors opening.)
Pinkie: (from o.s.) Sure sounded like a joke to me!
(Every single one of Twilight’s mental processes screeches to a halt as she turns two constricted eyes toward the entrance and spots the pink goofball now inside the threshold. A couple of giggly hops bring Pinkie over to Granny’s table so she can draw out her own mark, using a pencil concealed in her mane and held by her forelock.)
Twilight: Pinkie Pie?!?
Pinkie: Present!
(The writing implement goes flying as she nips the paper in her teeth and blows it into the bowl, and Twilight can only stare in mingled shock and horror at it lying among the other entries. Once the brain starts working, she gallops frantically away from the crowd and fires up her horn to reel an insanely long scroll from her bags, mumbling her way through yard after yard as Spike flies over.)
Spike: What’s wrong, Twilight?
Twilight: I hadn’t anticipated Pinkie Pie as a potential player! She’s never played before! My chart is completely off! (dropping it, shaking him) I have no way to predict what’ll happen, and “unpredictable “is not good for Trivia Trot three-peat! (She brings up the scroll again.)
Spike: Do I have to do that thing where I list all your successes as Princess of Friendship to put things into perspective and remind you this is just a game?
(She drops the massive parchment and rounds on him, eyes popping and hooves getting caught in the folds.)
Twilight: Spike, this has nothing to do with being the Princess of Friendship! (stomping for emphasis) And this is not just a game… (Zoom in by steps to an extreme close-up.) …this…is…TRIVIA TROT!!
(These last two words are delivered with enough force to shake the entire trivia club. Cut to a longer shot; Granny has now shifted to the lectern at the back wall and is tapping a hoof on it for attention. She has brought the bowl of paper slips with her.)
Granny: Okay, settle down, everypony! (The crowd gravitates toward her.) I’m fixin’ to pick these here teams! (Cheers.)
Twilight: (gasping) It’s starting! (Her aura scoops up several folds of her scroll.) I have to re-evaluate my chart! (Shove it over to…) Spike, I need you to find the part on matchups! Can you look outside?
(A burst of energy teleports him and it out, dumping him gracelessly onto the road and the mass of documentation over his head. He is none too happy over the split-second scenery change, but starts to look through the first bit he can easily clap eyes on. Clock wipe to inside; he re-enters with it neatly rolled up, but finds his boss paralyzed with nerves.)
Spike: What’d I miss? (She floats it back to herself and reads.)
Twilight: Granny’s about to call out the fifth team! Sunburst gave me the highest chance of winning, but he’s been paired with Cranky Doodle!
(Cut to these two seated at one of several side tables near them, a desk bell placed at the ready. The old donkey mumbles a bit and falls asleep, drooling slightly with his head on the surface; Sunburst prods him awake, and he sits up with another burst of confused verbal hodgepodge.)
Twilight: At least Rainbow Dash and Applejack aren’t together. (Zoom in quickly on her and Spike.) Team Apple-Dash is basically unstoppable!
(Cut to another table—Applejack and Whooves, the latter dressed in a white shirt collar and green bow tie. The farmer aims a murderous, growling glare across the room; pan to Rainbow and Matilda seated here, the Wonderbolt responding in kind. Both tables are equipped with bells, and the camera zooms out to frame the face-off before cutting back to Twilight and Spike.)
Twilight: (giddily) And apart, they’ll spend all their energy trying to one-up each other! (showing him a chart) So that only helps my chances.
Bulk: (from o.s.) LET’S DO THIS!!
(He, Fluttershy, and Angel have taken a table on Rainbow/Matilda’s side, leaving one still empty. All three have bells and are now equipped two sets of placards that can be flipped to hang over the table edge as a score display. Each is currently showing a double blank.)
Bulk: YEAH!! (Back to Twilight/Spike.)
Twilight: Eh, not every team is a threat. But there aren’t many ponies left.
(On the start of the next line, cut to Granny and zoom in slowly; her bowl is nearly empty.)
Granny: (reaching in) All righty, hold on to your horseshoes! (pulling/checking two slips) ’Cause the next pair of players is…Maud and Mudbriar!
(There follows a cacophony of disgruntled mutterings, accompanied by Twilight clapping a hoof to her face.)
Spike: What’s wrong?
Twilight: Maud and Mudbriar have been paired together every week! It’s a statistical improbability, which would be fine if they weren’t so good!
(Horn-power brings out her trusty quill and sets it to scratching madly across the page, fast enough that smoke begins to rise. Spike tries desperately to fan it away with hands and wings until she stops writing and pulls in a long, shaky gasp.)
Twilight: Oh, no! According to my calculations, the only pony who could really threaten my winning streak is—
(Her brain locks up before she can finish the sentence. On the next line, cut to an extreme close-up of Granny’s wrinkled hoof pulling the last two slips from the bowl and zoom out to frame her holding them up.)
Granny: And our final pair of contestants for this week’s Trivia Trot is…Twilight and Pinkie Pie!
(The utterly dumbfounded Princess’s quill and scroll hit the ground.)
Pinkie: (from o.s.) Twilight! (She trots over, grinning ear to ear.) It’s you and me! (gesticulating broadly, knocking a table over) Isn’t that great?
Twilight: (waving, forcing a huge grin) Yeah! Great!
(Spike eyes her almost-mechanical motions and twitching eye with no small degree of concern. Fade to black.)
Act Two
(Opening shot: fade in to the exterior of the trivia club and zoom in slowly. On the start of the next line, cut to Twilight and Spike inside.)
Spike: So I’m guessing the one pony who could mess up your winning streak is Pinkie. (Who pops up between them right about now.)
Pinkie: (pulling Twilight into a headlock) Twilight! I can’t believe we’re partners for a game! (Let go; hop around her.) I love games! And I’m super-duper-excited for this game because it’ll be my first time ever playing— (poking Twilight’s nose) —and I get to play it with you, which makes it even funner!
(In an instant, she has darted off and returned with balloon sculptures in their likenesses.)
Pinkie: Twilight and Pinkie Pie forever!
(One string is quickly tied around each violet foreleg; the buoyancy slowly lifting a very confused Twilight off the ground.)
Pinkie: Ooh! We can be Team Twinkie! (Twilight summons a pair of scissors and cuts herself loose.) Or… (Gasp.) …Team Pink-Light! (Again.) Sparkle-Pie! (Shake head.) No, no, no, no! (Deep breath.) TWI-PIE!!
(Capped off by a big squeaky grin.)
Twilight: (gently pushing her back, floating quill/scroll into bags) Pinkie, I-I’m glad you’re excited. But tonight’s game is special. I could be the first pony ever to win three consecutive Trots in a row! And I’m really hoping I do.
Pinkie: You don’t have anything to worry about. I’ll do everything I can to be the bestest and most funnest teammate ever.
(Tossing a pinch of sparkly glitter over the Princess’s head, she moves to the tables and occupies an empty one on the same side as Applejack/Whooves and Sunburst/Cranky. It has a bell, which she eagerly hammers, but none of these three positions has any scoring placards yet. Back to Twilight, who regards this display of enthusiasm with barely contained panic scribbled all over her face.)
Spike: (hovering toward her) So, uh, still think you can win? (She takes a breath and composes herself.)
Twilight: I know I can. Pinkie might not be the partner I expected, but I can coach her along. And besides, I’m pretty good at this game. If she misses a few, I’m sure I can pick up the slack.
(Her new confidence is shattered by a long, bellowing blast; cut to the tables, where Pinkie has just deployed an airhorn.)
Pinkie: Let’s get this party started!
(Twilight can only manage a strained chuckle before crossing the floor to take her own seat. Dissolve to a long shot of the competition area; Maud and Mudbriar are at the last table on the same side as Rainbow/Matilda and Fluttershy/Bulk. The score placards have been cleared away, as have Granny’s bowl and Pinkie’s airhorn, and Twilight has shed her saddlebags.)
Granny: Now, the first order of business is… (Pinkie taps at their bell.) …we need somepony to keep score. (Spike flies eagerly to her, the camera shifting to him.)
Spike: I’ll do it!
(Indulgent chuckle from Applejack’s direction; cut to frame her side.)
Applejack: I’m not sure you want to take that job, Spike. The scorekeepin’ could get a mite intense.
Sunburst: Yeah. Starlight used to do it, but now… (Shiver.) …well, I can’t even say the word “trivia” around her.
Granny: (shifting Spike to her other side) Pffft! Apple mash! Don’t let them scare you. You’ll be fine!
(The old green mare produces a half-dozen binders filled with placards and passes them over. Spike busies himself with issuing one to each table, flipping them open to show two blanks as seen in Act One.)
Granny: Now let the games begin!
(Cheers abound from all angles as two vertical panels slide in from opposite sides to fill the screen—Applejack on the left, Rainbow on the right.)
Applejack, Rainbow: Get ready to get squashed/squished! (Pause.) Hey, don’t copy me!
(Fullscreen; Spike has distributed the placards, and Granny has a box of question cards on her lectern. She draws one.)
Granny: The first category is…Literary Figures. (Groans from all teams except Twilight/Pinkie.)
Twilight: (clapping) Ooh! A category about books! We’re off to a great start!
(Pinkie raises a hoof for a high five, but finds herself left hanging after Twilight’s attention shifts toward the lectern—so she delivers one to herself with a giggle. Slow pan across the room.)
Granny: (clearing throat) Who is the pony that despises the holiday season in the old classic A Hearth’s Warmin’ Tail?
(Twilight gets ready to hit the bell but is interrupted by a pink hoof slamming onto the button. Pinkie vaults up onto the table to balance on her hind legs.)
Pinkie: The answer is nopony! (twirling) Because everypony ends up loving the holiday with singing, festive cakes, and thoughtful presents!
(Spectators and contenders alike stare at her, utterly dumbstruck.)
Granny: Well, as much as that ain’t exactly wrong, it ain’t exactly right neither.
(A solemn nod to Spike is his cue to fly over to the table, Pinkie sinking back to her seat with a chagrined giggle. He flips a placard on the right stack to show a 1 and pencils in a negative sign on the blank left one to put their score at -1, not dissuaded by a crushed little whimper from his boss.)
Spike: Just doing my job, Twilight. (He flaps away; she moans softly.)
Pinkie: (shrugging) Sorry. I didn’t know we could have negative points.
Twilight: (managing a smile) It’s fine, Pinkie. (patting her shoulder) But maybe it’ll help our chances if I coach you as we go. (Pinkie nods.) Tip one—try sitting still.
Pinkie: (saluting) Can do, Coach Twi—
Twilight: And don’t get distracted, or be distracting. Oh, and remember to listen carefully. Also, it’s best to keep quiet between questions.
Pinkie: (overwhelmed, moaning faintly) Got it.
(She slumps forward, chin on the table and spirits sinking fast, and the camera zooms in to a close-up of their scoreboard. A dissolve turns it into 2, Spike flipping a placard to take it up to 3; he flies off to the tune of a nervous, squeaky moan from the o.s. Pinkie. Zoom out to frame her sitting ramrod-straight and Twilight hunched intently over the bell.)
Pinkie: (softly) Sitting still, sitting still, sitting still…
(She repeats these words time after time under the next line, the camera cutting to Granny—reading a new question—at the start of it.)
Granny: Which topographical locale used to be a cavern, but after thousands of years of erosion is now a gorge? (Back to Twilight and Pinkie.)
Twilight: (sharply) Pinkie!
Pinkie: What?!?
(The ring of another team’s bell stops them both cold; pan quickly to Maud and Mudbriar, whose score stands at 6. The bluish-gray mare has signaled.)
Maud: The answer is the Ghastly Gorge. (Mudbriar nods.)
Granny: That is one hundred percent correct!
(Spike hustles in to put up the point; zoom in to a close-up of the display, then cut back to Twilight/Pinkie. Now it is Twilight’s turn to slam her chin onto the table in disbelief. Rainbow and Matilda exchange cocky grins over the 11 points they have racked up; Applejack munches into an apple, the tally for her and Whooves at 10; Bulk flexes and sweeps Fluttershy/Angel into a headlock, their score at 9. Back to Twilight/Pinkie, the former clutching at her own face in the throes of an incipient freak-out, then cut to Granny/Spike on the start of the next line.)
Granny: Next category is…Apples! (She throws a wink to her granddaughter; Rainbow hovers out of her seat.)
Rainbow: Rigged!
Applejack: I didn’t hear you complain when the category was Wonderbolt History!
Rainbow: (sputtering, sitting) But…that’s—that’s totally different!
(Matilda offers a soothing pat on the shoulder as if to say “shake it off.”)
Twilight: Okay, Pinkie. Remember, the category is Apples. Keep your mind on apples.
Pinkie: (massaging temples) Apples, apples, apples… (smiling) …apples! Ooh, and oranges! And grapes! And strawberries! (Gasp.) Strawberry cupcakes! I’m hungry.
(She falls to licking her chops as Twilight slaps an incredulous hoof to her own face.)
Granny: (from o.s.) Which variety of apple… (Cut to her.) …only blooms for five days?
(She aims a knowing look toward Applejack, the camera panning to frame the blonde returning it and getting ready to ring in.)
Rainbow: (from o.s., under a cough) Don’t choke!
(Applejack fires a vicious glare across the room and leaves her seat to approach the blue pegasus, who has turned in her seat and is whistling innocently. The effect is far from convincing.)
Applejack: Now why would I choke on a question about apples? (A moment’s shock; she backs off and addresses Granny.) Uh…w-what was the question again?
Granny: (irritated) You kiddin ‘me?
(Whooves begins to think very hard, the camera panning from him and past Sunburst/Cranky doing likewise over their score of 3. Stop on a nervous Twilight and a grinning Pinkie.)
Twilight: Come on, Pinkie, you know this one! (Pinkie puts her mind to it, hooves to temples and tongue out the corner of her mouth.) Mysterious apples? Only around for five days?
(The pink party pony gasps as a brainstorm strikes—but a loud, prolonged rumble from her gut sounds off to stop her from going for the bell.)
Pinkie: (poking it) Quiet down there! Pretty sure there’s a rule against tummies ringing in.
(Ring; cut to Fluttershy/Bulk/Angel. The animal expert has signaled.)
Fluttershy: Um, I’m just guessing, but…is it Zap Apples?
Granny: Finally! (smiling; Spike flies off that way) Yes, Fluttershy, it is. (to Applejack, under her breath) At least somepony here knows her apples!
(The orange-tan mare is so ashamed by this upbraiding that she pulls her hat down to cover her face, and the respondents’ score is flipped from 9 to 10.)
Bulk: YEAH!!
(He and Fluttershy trade a high five that knocks her out of her seat and to the floor behind Rainbow/Matilda’s table. She offers a woozy little giggle as these two help her up. Cut to Twilight/Pinkie, the winged unicorn’s mane now in severe disarray and her lower lip clamped in her teeth over this calamitous turn of events. She slams her face onto the table and gets a consoling pat from her teammate, whose empty stomach asserts its presence again.)
(Dissolve to an overhead shot of the room. All involved have left their posts and congregated around a pair of snack tables set up near the entrance to strap on the metaphorical feedbag. The only one not present is Twilight.)
Spike: (voice raised) One minute left in the refreshment-slash-bathroom-break!
(He trails off into a yell as the violet mage’s telekinesis yanks him off his feet; cut to her in a corner as he is plunked down. Her tail is as badly scrambled as her mane.)
Twilight: (setting him upright) Spike! I don’t think I can coach Pinkie well enough for us to get my three-peat! I don’t want her to feel bad, she’s trying so hard, but I might have to start answering everything myself!
Pinkie: (from o.s.) Look, Twilight! (Cut to her, a piled-high plate of snacks balanced on one hoof.) No more belly-growl interruptions for Team Twi-Pie!
(She plops her haunches onto the planks as she finishes, then opens wide and dumps all the food—and the plate—down her throat in one swift move. On monster swallow later, she throws Twilight a toothy grin; pan quickly to Princess and dragon, the former doing her best to copy the mood but not even remotely succeeding.)
Spike: Maybe instead of focusing on Pinkie, you should just focus on how you’re playing.
Twilight: (calculatingly) Or…I should look at how everypony else is playing!
(She flies back toward the tables, the dragon plodding sullenly after her, and finds the others and Granny back at their spots as she resumes hers.)
Granny: Hope you’re all in your seats, ’cause the break is over— (dramatically) —and it is time for more questions!
(She mumbles and flips her way through the box of question cards, a sotto-voce “let me see” working its way to the surface, before finding a good one.)
Granny: How do you say “reward” in Old Ponish?
(Twelve minds strain themselves over this tough nut; Pinkie utters an inspired gasp in close-up, but Twilight slaps her hoof back before she can touch the bell. Another team’s signal breaks the quiet; pan to follow the scared purple eyes to Sunburst/Cranky, the donkey having nodded off to mark the unicorn as the answering player.)
Sunburst: “Reward” in Old Ponish is “hliet.” (He adjusts his glasses.)
Granny: Correct!
[Note: I have chosen to transliterate his answer as an approximation of spoken German, in which “ie” is pronounced as a long E. This pronunciation differs slightly from that offered by Twilight in “Uncommon Bond.”]
(As Spike flaps in to change the team’s score, Twilight stands up and points accusingly their way.)
Twilight: SLEEPING!!
(Cranky opens his eyes drowsily and is met by a round of confused murmurs; catching herself, Twilight clears her throat and sits down.)
Twilight: Sunburst’s partner is sleeping— (levitating/opening rulebook) —and according to Rule Fifty-Seven-point-Six, sleeping at the table is subject to… (over-enunciating) …disqualification!
(Granny fishes up her own copy, consults it, and lets her eyes widen at what she finds.)
Granny: Well, looky here. That’s an actual rule. Cranky is disqualified! I’m sorry, Sunburst. Without your teammate, you can’t play neither.
Sunburst: (groaning) Fine! But I’m counting that as a correct answer!
(He strides away from the table, enveloping the old jack in his magic and towing him along.)
Sunburst: (grumbling, under his breath) Can’t even stay awake for five minutes…
(Twilight has now put her book away.)
Twilight: (pulling Pinkie close) Don’t worry, Pinkie. We’re not out of this game yet.
(The peppy mare grins just a bit shakily before several interlocked rows of question cards slide past the camera. Behind them, wipe to a close-up of an extremely apprehensive Fluttershy getting a little whispered advice from Angel; what she hears causes her to gasp, grin and ring the bell.)
Fluttershy: Is the answer…carrots?
Twilight: (from o.s., jabbing a hoof toward her) Ah! Rule Thirteen-point-Two! (Cut to her, opening/leafing through the book with her field.) No help from pets!
(Spike reluctantly docks the team a point, dropping them from 14 to 13, and Twilight smiles smugly while snapping the covers shut. More cards tumble past the lens, wiping the view to a close-up of Applejack and Rainbow sticking their tongues out at each other. Zoom out slightly to frame Twilight leaning over her table toward them.)
Twilight: Rule Seventy-Two-point-Eight! (She shows off a book page.) No sticking tongues out at opponents!
(Two vertical panels slide together to fill the screen, each showing a close-up of one team’s score being rolled back by Spike. Applejack/Whooves end up at 15, Rainbow/Matilda at 14. More cards fly past, the view wiping to a close-up of Twilight with book put away and hoof poised over the bell. Pan quickly to Maud/Mudbriar with 18, the impassive stallion ready to ring. After his incredibly slow blink, the camera whips to a sweaty-faced Twilight and back to the couple’s utterly inscrutable expressions. Both of them blink this time, prompting the trivia fanatic to lean toward them. Pinkie just sits there, bored out of her gourd.)
Twilight: Motion to establish new rule—no expressionless contestants!
Granny: (sardonically, drawing a card from her box) Nice try.
Twilight: (petulantly, sitting down) Fine.
Granny: The next category is…Cupcakes!
(Pinkie’s apathy gives way to a starry-eyed gasp of delight in perhaps ten microseconds flat.)
Pinkie: (grabbing/shaking Twilight) Twilight! I know all about those! You have to let me help!
Twilight: (completely unhinged, laughing) Suuuure! (caressing scoreboard) Just when we’re finally back in the game! Why, that sounds perfect, Pinkie, but— (calmer, pointing past Pinkie toward front of club) —ooh! Isn’t that a confetti appreciation parade I see?
Pinkie: Where?!? (She is gone in a blink; Granny consults her card.)
Granny: What flavor cupcakes did Princess Celestia order for Princess Luna’s surprise birthday party last year?
(Cut to just outside one front window; Pinkie is here, face mashed to the glass so she can peer out.)
Pinkie: (slightly muffled) Wait. What? (Twilight rings in.)
Twilight: (crazed) Double midnight chocolate fudge with chili pepper frosting!
Granny: Correct!
(Twilight pumps a hoof in savage triumph as Spike augments the team’s score from 10 to 11.)
Pinkie: (returning, scoffing) Hey! I knew that! I made those cupcakes! (She slumps over the table.)
Twilight: Sorry, Pinkie, but you were looking at the parade and I didn’t want our team to miss out on the point.
Pinkie: (propping head on front hooves) Guess that makes sense, but…
(Just outside the window again; she hustles over and puts her face to it.)
Pinkie: (slightly muffled) …which way did that confetti parade go, anyway?
(She pouts as cards rain past the camera, wiping the view to a close-up of Granny picking one from the box with her teeth. Pinkie, back at the table, perks up and gets ready to hit the bell, but Twilight’s magic yanks it out of reach so she can ring it herself; Pinkie is surprised to strike only the tabletop.)
Twilight: Fifteen-forty-seven, Pony B-E!
(A rapidly flipping scoreboard drifts by the camera; behind it, wipe to Pinkie’s hoof being slapped away so Twilight can reach the bell.)
Twilight: Vanhoover!
(Another such transition yields a close-up of Pinkie, who lifts a foreleg with gusto and brings it down, only to get a splat of some semi-liquid stuff instead of a bell ring. She raises the limb, finding a cupcake now stuck on it, and glowers as Twilight magically shifts the bell to herself and sounds it.)
Twilight: Cutie pox!
(A third flip, and she is ringing the bell with one foreleg and holding back a flailing Pinkie with the other.)
Twilight: Bananaaaas!
(A fourth, and her gung-ho attitude has progressed to the point that she is holding the bell and grinning dementedly, while a surly Pinkie lounges against the wall.)
Granny: The category is…Sticks and Stones.
(Vertical panels of Twilight and Maud/Mudbriar slide in from opposite sides to fill the screen. Her score is 15, theirs 13. The Princess’s jaw drops almost all the way to the table, a donkey’s bray escaping her lips, while Pinkie leans in beaming fit to burst. From here, cut to a fullscreen close-up of Twilight flopping onto the table and letting her bell roll away.)
Twilight: I don’t know anything about those! That’s not any kind of category!
Mudbriar: Mmm—technically, it’s a kind of category where we know the answers and you don’t.
(Her nerves even more frazzled, Twilight summons a paper bag to herself and begins hyperventilating into it. Zoom out to frame Pinkie, fully at ease; the bell is standing upright between them.)
Pinkie: Don’t worry, fellow Twi-Pie. I grew up on a rock farm. I’m sure I know some of these.
(Instead of settling Twilight down, this bit of reassurance rattles her even more and causes her to speed up her cycling lungs.)
Granny: What kind of stone can be used to start a fire?
(Vertical panels framing close-ups of two bells slide in to fill the screen. Pinkie and Maud ring them very nearly simultaneously; fullscreen shot of the face-off.)
Pinkie: (leaning over table) The black one! (Twilight, now without her bag, covers her face in shame.)
Maud: The answer is flint.
Pinkie: Yeah, that one! (Sit.) We both get points, right?
Sunburst: (from o.s.) Sorry, Pinkie.
(Cut to him standing among the audience and holding an open rulebook in his power.)
Sunburst: Rule Four. Answers must be specific and exact. I’d help you if I could. (Close it; send it away and adjust glasses.) I know this category pretty well.
Twilight: (coaxingly) Gee, Pinkie, I forgot the name of that famous rock in Griffonstone. Could you ask Maud?
Pinkie: You got it! HEY, MAUD! WHAT’S THE NAME OF THE FAMOUS ROCK IN GRIFFONSTONE?
Maud: Pinkie, you can’t ask me that.
Pinkie: Sure I can. I just did.
(Disapproving mumbles and stares from the other teams and the onlookers throw her for a loop.)
Pinkie: What?
Granny: You can’t go and ask another player about rocks when that’s the category! (brandishing rulebook) It’s in the rulebook! (flipping through) …somewheres… (Set it aside.) Um, uh, sorry, Pinkie, but you’re disqualified.
(Cut to the gobsmacked pink pony and zoom in quickly to a close-up.)
Pinkie: What?!?
(Snap to black.)
Act Three
(Opening shot: fade in to an overhead shot of the club interior, zooming in slowly on Twilight and Pinkie, and cut to them.)
Pinkie: I-I-I can’t believe I’m disqualified! (Shiny-eyed frown and whimper.)
Twilight: (giggling shakily, patting Pinkie’s shoulder) I’m sorry, Pinkie. (pushing her away) Guess I forgot about that rule.
Pinkie: Oh, no! If I’m out, you don’t have a partner! You won’t be able to get your third win!
Twilight: Actually, since there’s another player who has also had his teammate disqualified…
(Here comes Sunburst in a blur of starry cloak and unkempt mane, rulebook hovering overhead.)
Sunburst: Rule Nineteen-point-Seven-B. (Open it to show Pinkie a passage.) Whereby players whose teammates were disqualified may form a new team.
(He shuts it and drapes a chummy foreleg over Twilight’s shoulders as he finishes, and the new partners grin widely to punctuate the thought.)
Pinkie: Oh! Okay. Um…I’ll just cheer you on from… (eyes tearing up, pointing across room) …over there.
(She clumps away with another piteous little whimper and sits at a table by the front windows. The balloon sculptures of herself and Twilight that she procured in Act Two are still floating here, but a knot on the Twilight one comes loose and the outrush of air propels the rubber effigy away. Pinkie gasps softly, an instant before hers springs a leak and crumples to the floor, and her chin lowers to the table in time with her mood.)
Granny: (from o.s.) The next category is…
(Cut to her and the tables on the end of this, Sunburst taking Pinkie’s vacated spot next to Twilight.)
Granny: …Ancient Legends. (Close-up of Twilight.)
Twilight: (laughing) Oh, we’re gonna crush this round! (Zoom out to frame a less sure Sunburst.)
Sunburst: I don’t know, Twilight. You seem out of the zone today. (patting her head) But don’t worry. I can pick up the slack.
Twilight: What?!? I am the reigning Trot champ. If there’s any slack that needs picking, I’ll be the “up”!
(Her eyes pop as she realizes how badly she has mishandled that expression.)
Twilight: I mean…wait.
Sunburst: (adjusting glasses) I’m just saying, you seem a little frazzled and I do have a correct-answer percentage to maintain. (Twilight deflates a bit at his smug chuckle; cut to Granny.)
Granny: Who traveled to Equestria from a distant land, seeking to steal the magic from its pony inhabitants? (Bell; back to Twilight and Sunburst. She has rung, ignoring his grimace.)
Twilight: That would be Lord Tirek.
(The sound of a second bell catches her like a two-by-four to the head, and Granny looks across the room to Mudbriar, who removes his hoof from it.)
Mudbriar: Technically, that answer is incomplete. The answer is Lord Tirek and Scorpan.
(Recall that the two are brothers, as explained in “Twilight’s Kingdom.”)
Twilight: (rapid fire) But Scorpan tried to convince Tirek not to do it, so technically he wasn’t part of it, even if he started out… (Relent, sighing.) …never mind.
(Sunburst’s field shifts the bell to his side of the table, and Spike scores a point for Maud/Mudbriar to bring them up to 14 and put the slightest hint of a smile on the geologist’s face. Question cards surge past the camera, shifting the view to a close-up of Granny picking one from the box with her teeth and reading. Twilight gets ready to sound the bell, but Sunburst throws up a force field to stop her and does it himself.)
(More cards rain past the camera, moving the action back to Granny as she reads a new question. This time, the overeager Princess stands up on the table but again gets no joy, thanks to Sunburst levitating the bell out of reach. The passage of another wave of cards brings yet another question from Granny, her eyes flicking from one side to the other. As Twilight hesitantly positions a hoof over the signal, Sunburst uses his field to distract her with a copy of the rulebook and slide the bell closer so he can tap it. The discovery that she has been faked out stuns her greatly.)
(Cards surge by, wiping the view to Rainbow/Matilda’s table and their score of 50. Pan to Fluttershy/Bulk/Angel with 48, then Maud/Mudbriar with 59. Twilight turns frustrated eyes from these teams to the 46 showing on her table’s placards.)
Twilight: Uh, look, Sunburst. I realize I may have been a little off earlier, but I’m really good at this game. (Back to Granny on the start of the following.)
Granny: How many holes are there in Daring Do’s hat?
(Back to the pair, the Crystaller sternly pulling the bell toward himself with his aura. The winged mare, deciding that she has had quite enough of this high-handedness, yanks it back in like manner. However, the sound of another team ringing in stops her short; cut to Rainbow lifting her hoof from the button.)
[Error: Twilight/Sunburst’s score appears as 48 in this shot, then switches back to 46 later.]
Rainbow: Twenty! (She cups a hoof to one ear.)
Granny: (from o.s.) Correct!
Rainbow: (pointing across room) Hah!
(Applejack rolls her eyes disgustedly at this jibe, her and Whooves’ score now up to 49.)
Sunburst: (irked) Twilight, I knew that one! (adjusting glasses) You just cost us a point and the correct answer I needed to boost my percentage! (He turns away with a crossed-foreleg pout; she sets the bell on the table.)
Twilight: Well, I knew it too! You’re not the only pony to ever read a book, you know! (Sunburst relents.)
Sunburst: You’re right, Twilight. I’m sorry. Uh, but now that I think about it, I’m not so sure about Dash’s answer. Could you do a quick fact check?
Twilight: Oh, I know it’s twenty. But if you want proof…
(She conjures up a book and lets her magic do the walking through several dozen pages before stopping short.)
Twilight: Wait. (closing it—a Daring Do novel) According to Rule Eighteen-point-Three, I can’t check outside reference materials. (Vanish it with a stunned gasp, then round on him suspiciously.) Are you trying to get me disqualified? What kind of pony would do that to their own teammate?
(By the time she finishes, she has left her seat and is leaning over him with such rancor that he is hunching down and shivering in abject fear. He slides to one side, giving her an exceptionally clear line of sight to one very unhappy pink pony, and her fury melts with remarkable speed.)
Sunburst: You’re right, Twilight. I don’t know what got into me. I was so focused on my correct answers, I-I wasn’t thinking straight. (touching her shoulder) Can you forgive me?
Twilight: It’s okay, Sunburst. I understand. And I have a teammate of my own to apologize to. (smiling) Lucky for you, Cranky’s awake. And according to Rule Fifty-Seven-point-Six-B— (Sunburst looks across the room and grins.)
Sunburst: —players previously disqualified for sleeping may rejoin the game, provided they’re well-rested.
(Cranky, sitting at a table in the audience, shakes himself out of his nap and mumbles his way up to full consciousness.)
Cranky: Where am I? What time is it? (angrily) Where are my morning hay cakes?
(Twilight cautiously approaches the teammate she ditched, her mane/tail now back in order except for a couple of stray hairs.)
Twilight: (touching Pinkie’s shoulder) Pinkie, you were the best teammate I could ask for. But I let wanting to win keep me from seeing that.
Pinkie: Pffft! I knew you wanted to win, but I probably could’ve helped a little. (propping head on hooves) And even if I couldn’t…
Twilight: …we still could’ve had fun. I’m so sorry for not realizing it. I got so obsessed with one thing, I forgot what really mattered.
Pinkie: (very snarky) No! That doesn’t sound like you at all.
Twilight: (smiling sheepishly) Well, win or lose, nothing is more important than my friend—or my team. (extending a hoof) Twi-Pie forever?
Pinkie: (hesitantly) Uh, I don’t know.
Twilight: (sadly, turning away) I understand. I guess even the Princess of Friendship can mess things up with her friends. (Pinkie stands up.)
Pinkie: Oh, it’s not that.
(Smiling, she brings up a sheet cake decorated with the faces of Twilight and Sunburst from somewhere beneath the table. The former image is fully colored, but the latter is little more than an outline over smudges of pink icing.)
Pinkie: It’s just that I already changed it to Team Twi-Burst and…now I guess I should change it to Sun-Doodle?
(She swipes a hoof through the sugary violet face, reducing to a smear and taking out some of the edging in the process, and proceeds to lick the residue away.)
Twilight: (smiling) Actually, I have a better idea.
(A copy of the rulebook floats past the camera, held by her telekinesis; behind it, wipe to the team’s table. She flies to a seat, reading from another copy that rides at eye level, and Pinkie is not far behind and no longer carrying the cake.)
Twilight: According to Rule Thirteen-point-Two, players can join the game at any time— (Put the book down; flip the score placards back to double blank.) —provided they start from zero.
Pinkie: (hefting book) Wow. These rules are really convoluted. (Toss it aside.) But doesn’t starting from zero mean we’ll lose?
Twilight: Well, our chances aren’t good, but the odds of having fun on Team Twi-Pie are one hundred percent.
(An enthusiastic, forgiving hug is all the confirmation she needs that the matter is closed and in the past, and Twilight fires up her horn to shift the bell so that either of them can reach it. Cut to Granny, reading a question.)
Granny: What is the name of the Ponyville Day Spa’s most popular candle?
(Bell; cut to the reconciled pair. Both have gone for it, but Pinkie has gotten in just barely ahead of Twilight. The next two lines overlap.)
Twilight: Competitive Library Musk!
Pinkie: (standing up) Candle-licious Wax!
Granny: Uhhh…no.
(Even though the ruling has gone against them, they share a good laugh as the camera zooms out slowly. Cut to the exterior of the trivia club, Derpy Hooves pulling at the doors in a fruitless attempt to gain entry. The zoom out continues as the view faces to black.)
THE SUMMER SUN SETBACK
Written by Michael Vogel
Produced by Devon Cody
Story editing by Josh Haber
Supervising direction by Jim Miller
Directed by Denny Lu, Mike Myhre
Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)
Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to Grogar pacing the floor in his lair. He is brought up short by the sound of Cozy Glow’s pointed throat-clearing and glares back over his shoulder to find her flying sweetly toward him.)
Cozy: Where you going?
Grogar: Since you three were unable to retrieve my bewitching bell, we need another source of great magical power to defeat Twilight and her friends.
(Referring to the “failed” attempt by Chrysalis, Cozy, and Lord Tirek to recover that article in “Frenemies.” The filly offers a big grin as Grogar exits the area, but lets it drop in favor of a level stare immediately afterward. Cut to the old goat emerging from a side entrance and onto a broken walkway that curves over the swamp in which he has made his base of operations. Cozy peeks out just long enough to confirm that he is in fact leaving; cut to inside as she addresses herself across the cavernous space.)
Cozy: (singsong) He’s go-o-one! (Chrysalis and Tirek emerge from side tunnels.)
Tirek: I don’t trust him.
Cozy: None of us do.
Chrysalis: (floating the bell up to eye level) Which is why double-crossing him with his own bell will be so satisfying.
Tirek: If we can figure out how to use it.
Chrysalis: Hmmm…
(He grabs it out of the air, shakes vigorously, and shrugs upon getting no result.)
Cozy: Twilight Sparkle may be the worst, but she does know stuff. She once said the archives in Canterlot has [sic] a restricted area.
Tirek: Celestia and Luna love to hoard information for themselves. If there’s an answer, it’s there. (Close-up of Chrysalis.)
Chrysalis: My triumphant return to Canterlot? I like the sound of that. (Zoom out to frame all three on the next line.)
Cozy: (excitedly) Oh, my gosh! Road trip!
(All three revel silently in the prospect as the view fades to black.)
OPENING THEME
Act One
(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of Canterlot at sunset, zooming in slowly, then cut to one of the bedrooms within Canterlot Castle. Books are stacked high on the dresser and on the floor by the bed, and Twilight Sparkle sits on her haunches before a pair of portable bulletin boards covered with tacked-up notes, drawings, and lists. Spike is taking it easy, lounging on the bed to do a bit of light reading. The boss sticks a card onto one board as the doors open to admit Princesses Celestia and Luna.)
Celestia: Sorry to interrupt. We know you’re busy planning the Summer Sun Celebration as we requested, but…
Luna: (caught off guard) Oh! Things seem, uh, uh, calmer than we would have expected.
Spike: No complaints here.
Twilight: (levitating list and pencil, marking an item) With the exception of the odd trivia night, I’ve made a lot of progress since the Royal Swanifying Ceremony. (airily, sending items away) You may not know this about me, but I occasionally freak out.
(Referring to “A Trivial Pursuit” and “Between Dark and Dawn,” in that order. She offers up a cocky grin as the two sovereigns trade baffled looks.)
Twilight: Uh, that was a joke. (standing) I wanted to show you, with the Summer Sun Celebration, how much I’ve improved. So I’ve focused on delegating and trusting others. (laughing) It’s been great!
Luna: That’s…actually what we came to talk to you about. This may be the last Summer Sun Celebration you’ll need to plan. (This jolts both Twilight and Spike.)
Twilight: Did I do something wrong?
Celestia: Of course not. It’s just that the Celebration has always been about us. My defeat of Luna…
Luna: …and, thanks to you and your friends, my reunion with my sister. (The two nuzzle.)
Celestia: Now that we’re leaving, we don’t see a need for the holiday any longer.
Twilight: Now that you’re…?
Celestia: My sister and I have decided. (touching Twilight’s shoulder) The time for us to retire is upon us. You and your friends have proven you are ready to lead Equestria.
(Spike hovers off the bead, leaving his book on the blanket, and Luna floats up a circular gold device whose surface depicts a sun. The sight of this item causes the youngest Princes to flop to her haunches on the eldest one’s next words.)
Celestia: So let this be the last Summer Sun Celebration, as Equestria leaves behind the old to embrace the new.
(A close-up reveals a hinge set into one edge and a yellow-orange gem set into the sun’s center—a replacement for the sun/moon-moving amulet that the sisters left in Twilight’s care during “Between Dark and Dawn,” and which she ultimately broke. She grasps this one, first with magic and then her hoof, and swallows hard as the weight of this responsibility sinks in. Around her, the background dissolves to a corridor elsewhere in Canterlot Castle.)
Rarity: (from o.s.) My goodness! (She leans into view.) How are you feeling about all this?
(On the start of the next line, cut to a longer shot that frames the whole gang of six as well as Spike, who hovers next to Rainbow Dash. The sky beyond the windows has darkened into night.)
Pinkie Pie: Something like this could definitely send you into full freaky-outy mode!
Twilight: I’m actually fine. But if this is gonna be the last Summer Sun Celebration, I want to make sure it’s the best Celebration ever.
Rainbow: (softly) Please don’t give us more work, please don’t give us more work, please don’t give us more work…
Twilight: (standing, pacing, vanishing the amulet) So even though everything was done, I thought of a few last-minute changes I could use your help with.
Rainbow: (groaning loudly) I knew it!
Voice of Discord: (echoing slightly; zoom out slowly) Ohhh! The end of a beloved holiday? Last-minute changes to a celebration?
(One flash later, the trickster is standing before them in all his haphazard glory.)
Discord: That sounds positively chaotic!
Applejack: What are you doin’ here?
Discord: I’ve known Celestia and Luna longer than any of you. I terrorized them, they turned me into stone…
(He emphasizes his point by petrifying himself and immediately crumbling to pieces on the red carpet—but this does not stop him from continuing to speak and gesture.)
Discord: If this is the last Summer Sun Situation, I simply can’t miss it.
(He stands up, whole and organic, and faces Twilight and the bulletin boards and files she has brought in.)
Discord: Well, I see I’ve arrived just in time for the “Twilight gives her friends an impossibly long and overly detailed list” predicament.
Twilight: (smugly, levitating six note cards) I guess some draconequus isn’t the know-it-all he thinks he is.
(One makes its way to the dragon and each of the other five mares, leaving a whole lot of nothing in Discord’s outstretched, expectant palm. All are left more than a bit puzzled.)
Rainbow: This is it?
Twilight: What?
Rainbow: We were kinda with Discord on this one.
Twilight: No more crazy lists. No more freaking out. With your help, I know we’ve got this.
Discord: (petulantly) Oh, character growth is so boring. Do I at least get my own note card?
(The slightly put-out planner obliges him by magically bringing up a card and pencil, writing a quick line on the former, and sending it over to him while dropping the latter. Cut to him, grinning as he snaps it out of the air and earning a funny look from Rainbow.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) There. (All eight again.) Now I need to go rewrite my speech. But if you all look at your cards, you’ll see—
Discord: Can’t talk now. Have so much to get done before sunrise.
(A snap of his lion-paw digits clears away all but Twilight, who has to sidestep quickly in order to avoid being hit by one of her boards when it topples over. She smiles, taking it in stride, and the view wipes to a tilt down from the upper reaches of Canterlot Castle to stop on festival preparations underway in the courtyard. The giant fans that were set up on rooftops as part of Shining Armor’s security overhaul in “Sparkle’s Seven” are running in top gear. Cut to a side alley, the camera aimed at its intersection with a main road and framing a few ponies tending to their jobs, and zoom out quickly on the following to frame Chrysalis, Cozy, and Tirek keeping watch from behind a scatter of barrels. They keep their voices down for the next five lines, Tirek no longer carrying the bell as in the prologue.)
Tirek: Why are so many ponies up in the middle of the night?
Cozy: It’s that silly sun holiday.
Chrysalis: How many holidays do you ponies have? No matter. Getting into the castle won’t be a problem.
Tirek: Are you sure about that?
(He points up and ahead, the camera panning/tilting up quickly to stop on those huge fans and a bird being thrown violently off course by the wind they generate. It comes in for a hard landing on his palm and, after a moment to clear its head, flies away as he stares flatly down at it. Pan from him to Chrysalis/Cozy.)
Chrysalis: Oh. Those are new. But even so…
(A flare of green magic washes over her form and subsides to reveal her as a gray pegasus mare in gold Royal Guard armor. Wipe to her trotting purposefully across the courtyard toward the doors, where two white-coated, gold-armored pegasus stallions are standing watch. She pushes at the doors but is unable to budge them. Her next three lines are delivered in a slightly higher, scratchier tone than her natural speaking voice.)
Chrysalis: Transfer. Have to head inside. Open up.
(A third guard, this one a pale blue unicorn mare in dark gray armor, steps up and telekinetically detaches the star crest from the front of her rig. This is pressed to the doors, triggering one of them to open—another of Shining’s security upgrades—and then reattached as she enters. Chrysalis hustles after her, but gets only a faceful of wood when the door closes behind the guard.)
Chrysalis: Right, of course.
(Chuckling, she plucks the star from her own armor and taps it against the doors a few times. Nothing doing.)
Chrysalis: (to stallions) Uh, do yours get glitchy too? (casually, walking past them) More medallions, more problems, am I right?
(She is wearing her star again by this point, and the two sentries send odd looks after her and to each other. In the alley’s hiding place, Cozy and Tirek are deep into a game of chess as she plods back to them and resumes her natural voice.)
Chrysalis: (hushed) They’ve increased security into the castle. This is going to be more challenging than I thought.
(She reverts to her normal appearance an instant before Discord, Spike, and Twilight’s friends materialize in the alley several yards away. All except the draconequus have their note cards in hoof or field.)
Rainbow: (to Discord) Could you go not popping us all over the place, please?
Discord: Time is of the essence. Let’s…
(A flash puts him in a sparkly cheerleader’s uniform done out in the colors of the School of Friendship—pink, violet, pale green—as seen in “2, 4, 6, Greaaat.” He has even procured a pair of pompoms that fit over his talons and paw.)
Discord: (waving them) …go, team!
Fluttershy: We need to know what we’re doing before we go and do it. (Cut to frame all but Rainbow and Spike; Discord has shed the outfit.)
Applejack: Pinkie, you and I are givin’ Braeburn and the Appleloosan ponies some adjustments to the menu. (Cut to Fluttershy/Rainbow/Rarity on the next line.)
Rainbow: Fluttershy and I are meeting the pegasi from Cloudsdale, to give them changes to the weather.
Rarity: Spike, we’re going to update the Flaming Sky Firework Unicorn Troupe with Twilight’s new vision.
Discord: And I’m supposed to…
(Donning a pair of gold-framed pince-nez spectacles on a chain, he finally brings out his own card.)
Discord: (reading) “…make sure Discord doesn’t do anything Discord-y”? Well, that’s annoyingly specific.
(The seven split up, having taken no notice of the three eavesdropping villains. The next two lines are delivered sotto voce.)
Tirek: Increased security on a crowded holiday, with Twilight and her friends bumbling around? This is impossible.
Chrysalis: Oh, no. This is perfect. We need a distraction, and those ridiculous ponies just gave it to us. Now, do exactly as I tell you.
(Nasty smiles spread across the faces of Cozy and Tirek as they lean in to hear her whisper behind a hoof. Fade to black.)
Act Two
(Opening shot: fade in to a lawn crowded with snack stands, loads of treats and the ingredients to make more, and earth ponies bustling here and there to set everything up. The presence of Applejack’s cousin Braeburn and the prevalence of Western-themed clothing items mark this bunch as being from Appleloosa. Pinkie sparks a moment’s panic—and at least one dropped pie—by popping up from a parked cart filled with desserts. She is no longer carrying her note card.)
Pinkie: Step away from the wagons! (The nearest ponies scramble back.) Official food tasters here on official food-tasting business!
(One stallion aims a dirty look at her and trots off as she proceeds to eat her way to the bottom of the cart. He passes Applejack and Braeburn, the latter sighing as he studies the former’s note card.)
Braeburn: Well, it ain’t gonna be easy, but I think we can whip up these new cookies Twilight wants before sunrise.
Applejack: If anypony can handle some last-minute bakin’, Braeburn, it’s y’all. (Pinkie begins to chomp down cupcakes on a shelf.)
Braeburn: We brought plenty for the Celebration, but if she keeps testin’, we might be in trouble.
(After three have gone down the hatch, Applejack decides that enough is enough and bites down on the fluffy magenta tail to drag Pinkie away.)
Pinkie: But I see a suspicious-looking cookie!
(None of the three spots a pair of red hands reaching through a bush from behind and parting the leaves so Tirek can get eyes on the situation. Spotting a mare walking by, he swiftly quits the post and peeks over the shrubbery; a spell kindles to life between his horns, and she stops dead as a red-orange glow envelops her and he inhales her magic. She collapses, eyes dulled and all vitality gone, and he grows a size before taking in the last of the energy. Braeburn is first to notice and turn back; cut to Tirek flexing a beefed-up bicep with malicious glee.)
Braeburn: (from o.s.) You okay? (Duck out of sight.)
Mare 1: (feebly) I feel…w-weak all of a sudden.
(As he and another mare tend to the stricken one, a stallion races over and gets the same treatment from the hidden Tirek. Cut to the centaur’s side of the bushes, Braeburn visible through the hole he cleared as he strides past the camera.)
Braeburn: Is somepony back there?
(He peeks warily in; cut back to the lawn side as he paces along the length of the bushes—and right into Tirek’s spell, which drops him like a load of bricks.)
Mare 2: What is it?
Braeburn: (feebly) Everypony! Get away from the food, ’til we figure out what’s goin’ on!
(Murmurs give way to a screaming, stampeding panic and quite a lot of edibles being flung to the ground. Once the lawn is empty, Tirek emerges from the bushes and voices a rich laugh, having bulked up a bit farther; he steals a pie from the nearest wagon and ducks back the way he came. Wipe to another lawn, this one liberally decorated with lights and banners and filled with pegasi hauling barrels of assorted weather supplies—wind, rainbows, sunshine, and so forth. Their supervisor, Feather Flatterfly, is a bespectacled blue-gray stallion with a frazzled, two-tone blue-green mane/tail, blue-green eyes, a blue-violet necktie with rainbow stripes, and a cutie mark of a weather vane. Fluttershy and Rainbow are addressing him, neither one carrying her card.)
Feather Flatterfly: The Princess wants what?!?
Rainbow: (producing/passing her card) Just what’s on that little card. (Cut to him; she continues o.s.) No big deal.
Feather Flatterfly: “No big de—” (stammering badly) —it’s a much more aggressive weather pattern than what was originally ordered! (dropping to haunches) This—this is very irregular. (standing, dropping card, pacing) We’ll need to—no! Uh, first we must—wait! We could…
(He trails off into a panicked wail, crumpling back to his haunches, but Fluttershy crosses serenely to him and lays a gentle hoof on his shoulder.)
Fluttershy: Take a breath… (He does so, cheeks bulging out.) …let it out slowly. (Exhale.)
Feather Flatterfly: (more calmly) Tell the Princess we will do our best.
Fluttershy: We’re sure you’re doing an excellent job.
Rainbow: Oh, yeah, totally! You’re not gonna panic and screw it up at all.
(Exeunt the two mares; the boss starts to shiver as his nerves kick in all over again.)
Feather Flatterfly: I-I-I’m not built for high-pressure situations!
Cozy: (from o.s.) Golly!
(A glance to one side tells him that she is standing by him.)
Cozy: Sounds like you need some help.
Feather Flatterfly: Who are you?
Cozy: (hovering) Somepony who’s organized enough to handle the small stuff, so you can focus on the big picture.
Feather Flatterfly: The big… (nodding enthusiastically) Yes! That sounds right!
(The little megalomaniac scoops up the dropped card, runs an eye over it with a predatory little giggle, and is all smiles for the high-strung stallion in a blink.)
Cozy: This kind of weather has to be handled delicately. (foreleg around his shoulders) Good thing I’m here. (grinning slyly) I’ll take care of everything.
(Wipe to the moon hanging low in the sky and tilt down to ground level as fireworks fly up to burst in showers of vivid sparks. They are being launched by a quartet of unicorns on a stage set up in an amphitheater. Speakers and spotlights have been installed, and the curtains have been drawn back to expose a large gold frame of a merged sun and crescent moon on a stand. The whole display is framed by a proscenium arch shaped as a giant, upside-down horseshoe topped by a bright yellow son. Rarity and Spike approach using the broad central aisle, both with their cards tucked away. From this distance, three of the four unicorns can be discerned wearing white vests and pants trimmed in blue; the fourth wears only the vest.)
Spike: Wow!
Rarity: The Flaming Sky Firework Troupe is a marvel.
(Cut to the stage. The vest-only unicorn is a tall mare, with pink flames across the front of her garment and at the collar—Fire Flare, the leader of this group. Her mane/tail are mostly red, with stripes of yellow and orange, and the former is short and swept back. Pale brown coat, light orange eyes with dark red shadow, cutie mark of a deep red flower with a yellow spark at its center. Two of the other members send up fresh pyrotechnics, showing small pink fireballs at the hems of their vests.)
Fire: We take pride in what we do.
Spike: (pulling out his card) These last-minute changes aren’t too challenging, are they? (Her field pulls it close for a read.)
Fire: Ha! (stomping) The more challenging, the better! We aim to astound. (sending it back) Now if you don’t mind, we do have a new routine to prepare.
(Back to Spike, who catches it, then cut to all four performers on the start of the next line.)
Fire: Horns at the ready!
(Rarity and Spike hustle away, watched by Chrysalis from a hidden corner behind the stage. A bit of magic turns the changeling into a light greenish-gray unicorn mare with two-tone red-brown mane/tail, medium green eyes, and a cutie mark of a ladybug and a scatter of seeds—the same disguise she assumed to pass herself off as a photographer at the start of “The Mean 6.” She strolls confidently out from her nook and circles to face the stage, using a voice very close to her usual haughty one and assuming the identity of one Crackle Cosette.)
Cosette: Very impressive.
Fire: Thank you. Unfortunately, we have no room for anypony else at this time. (Clear throat; gesture toward Cosette.) I’m sorry…?
Cosette: Crackle Cosette. And I don’t want to join your silly little troupe.
Fire: (needled) Pardon me?
Cosette: Oh, I meant no offense. (slowly moving closer) It just seems a pity for unicorns to waste their talents on something so…inconsequential.
(Murmurs ripple among the other three performers as she ascends the steps toward the stage.)
Cosette: Unicorns wield magic. We are the most powerful ponies in the land. (pacing around Fire) Don’t you ever feel you’re destined for more than…performances?
(She departs, leaving the foursome to think very carefully about her words. Wipe to the Canterlot Castle corridor in which Twilight and company first assembled in Act One. Her boards and files have been cleared away, and all eight have gathered at the end opposite the open doors leading to the throne room. Twilight and Rainbow are the only ones hovering, and Discord has shed the pince-nez glasses he used to read his “instructions” at the end of Act One. Any who had been carrying their cards have pocketed them now.)
Twilight: It’s all coming together. (Land.) I really think this is gonna be the best Summer Sun Celebration ever!
Rarity: You’ve done an outstanding job. (Seven-way group hug, excluding Discord.)
Twilight: We’ve all done an outstanding job!
Discord: And what about me? You’ll be happy to know that I have been watching myself all night, and I have yet to do one Discord-y thing.
(He demonstrates in close-up by picking up a pair of binoculars, peering through them so that the objective lenses magnify his eyes, and swiveling to put half their length off the left side of the screen. This portion immediately extends into view from the right, the lenses aimed at the back of his own head.)
Luna: (from o.s.) Now that truly is amazing.
(The anatomical hodgepodge lowers the binocs and turns to find both royal sisters entering the corridor.)
Celestia: Twilight, we know you had, uh… (Chuckle.) …uh, difficulties using the amulet to raise the sun and moon. (as she and Luna cross to Twilight) We thought perhaps a practice session before the festivities might be in order.
Twilight: That’s a good idea. (to the others) Thank you all so much.
(She follows Celestia and Luna into the throne room, the doors booming shut behind them.)
Applejack: I sure am proud of her. (All start for the exit.)
Spike: Yeah! She finally realizes things’ll turn out fine, even when she isn’t micromanaging every little detail.
(All stop short when Braeburn steps into view in the foreground, framed to present only his forelegs and the edge of his vest.)
Applejack: Braeburn? W-What’s wrong?
(A head-on shot tells that he has not recovered one bit from having his magic consumed by Tirek; it is all he can do to keep himself upright.)
Braeburn: (feebly) Earth ponies…sick…food missin’…can’t…bake…anything…
(He comes unstrung and passes out as a Royal Guard pegasus stallion flies in, not wearing his helmet.)
Guard: Something is wrong with the weather! Storms, hurricanes, fog! (Here come Fire and her troupe.) You name it! It’s a disaster out there!
Fire: Rarity! Please inform Her Highness that we will not be performing. A simple fireworks show is beneath us! (leading others away) We’re better than that!
Applejack: What the…? Everything was fine a minute ago.
(Fluttershy turns to the nearest window; cut to just outside it, framing the seven.)
Fluttershy: (muffled by glass) Apparently a lot can change in a minute.
(The others hurry over for a look. Down on the lawn, Appleloosa ponies who have lost their magic are either fetching up against any solid surface for support or being dragged away by their still-healthy compatriots. Rain begins to fall, going from drizzle to downpour in seconds as pegasi fight their way through the unfriendly clouds and strong winds. Back to the window.)
Rainbow: (muffled by glass) It’s total chaos out there! (Twelve eyes bore into Discord.)
Discord: (muffled) Don’t look at me!
(Inside again; close-up of Fluttershy and Spike.)
Fluttershy: What are we gonna do?
Twilight: (from o.s.) Do about what?
(Here she comes, in good spirits and levitating a stack of note cards; except for Applejack, the others waste no time in adopting the best casual poses and tones of voice they can.)
Spike: (laughing) Uh, what are you doing here?
Twilight: I forgot these. You guys okay?
Applejack: Twilight, w-we’re sorry, but—
Rainbow: —but, uh, we don’t know what to do now that everything’s all ready. (Big fake laugh.)
Twilight: I guess I was too organized. (walking off) I’ll try to come up with a few last-minute errands for you before sunrise. (The others revert to their normal tones.)
Rainbow: Well, that’s a relief!
Applejack: (to Rarity) Explain to me why we didn’t tell her the truth?
Rarity: Well, Twilight is finally learning not to let her stress get the better of her. If she finds out everything went wrong, it could be devastating!
Fluttershy: Oh, she’ll be so upset.
Rainbow: She’ll totally freak out! (Close-up of Applejack.)
Applejack: Well, w-what do y’all suggest?
Pinkie: (from o.s., waving a hoof into view) Ooh, ooh, ooh! (She slides in and drapes a foreleg across Applejack’s shoulders.) Let’s just fix it all before she notices. (poking her nose) No lying necessary.
Applejack: (reluctantly) I guess. (Cut to Fluttershy/Rainbow/Spike.)
Spike: We’d need a miracle.
Rainbow: We have a miracle! (addressing herself o.s.) Don’t we?
(The sound of spellcasting drifts toward the trio; cut to one window. Discord stands up within a glowing white nimbus, wearing angelic robes and a halo attached to a wire that stands up from the back of his head.)
Discord: I suppose I could fix everything. (pulling out a small lyre, strumming it) But isn’t the real miracle here the miracle of teamwork and character growth?
(The light fades and he poofs out, leaving only a scatter of feathers to tumble toward the group.)
Rainbow: (supremely exasperated) Oh, come on!
Fluttershy: Discord is right. Twilight needs us. Whatever happened, we can fix this.
(Lightning rips the sky, sapping her resolve; cut to just outside one window as the remaining six gather for a better look.)
Spike: (muffled by glass) What did happen?
(Tilt down quickly to the Appleloosa crew’s area, now littered with ruined treats, tumbled boxes, and ponies who are either panicking or have barely the strength to move on their own. The driving rain has stopped, but lightning still crackles through the air as a few stray pegasi break for cover. Chrysalis, Cozy, and Tirek poke their heads up from a pile of crates to watch the bedlam, Chrysalis having reverted to her natural form.)
Cozy: Best road trip ever!
(Her mouth curves into a savage smile, another flash throwing Tirek’s shadow over her. Fade to black.)
Act Three
(Opening shot: fade in to a slow pan across the wrecked snack area and the ponies strewn about it under a blanket of threatening black clouds. Pinkie, now wearing a doctor’s white coat, stethoscope, and forehead reflector, leans down to one drained victim and reels out a length of his tongue. After a moment’s close inspection, she lets it snap back into his mouth and stands up, clipboard in hoof. Behind her, Applejack is running a worried eye over a display of pies.)
Pinkie: Even if I was an actual doctor, I would have no idea what’s wrong.
Applejack: There’s gotta be a reason. Something got ’em all sick. (Pinkie starts on a cupcake.) Maybe the food? (Blue eyes pop; slam down the clipboard.)
Pinkie: I ate the food too! (Throw the snack aside.) Does that mean I’m sick? (sobbing) Oh, no!
(She manages one ragged cough before pitching sideways to the turf—and then bounces upright, healthy as ever.)
Pinkie: Nope, I feel fine.
(And she proves it by digging a fresh cupcake from her mane and wolfing it down, leaving residue on her cheeks and vexing Applejack no end. Wipe to the Canterlot Castle entrance as a dark gray unicorn Royal Guard stallion in gold armor approaches through a slowly thickening layer of fog. He stops short, turning to find Cozy a few feet back; she just offers up an innocent grin that keeps him distracted as Tirek’s shadow falls over both of them. The stallion catches on, but too late to stop the massive centaur from siphoning his magic and sending him down in an unconscious heap. Now Chrysalis steps in to grasp the star crest from his armor in her power and wrench it loose; the doors unlock at its touch, and the camera cuts to just inside as they swing open to frame the three miscreants. Fade to black as they approach, having discarded the crest.)
(Snap to Rainbow and four other flight-suited Wonderbults straining to power through the relentless winds of the storm Cozy tricked the pegasi into creating. She and two of the others are carrying barrels to catch every cloud they can grab. Down below, Fluttershy sits with the Feather Flatterfly, who is rocking back and forth on the very edge of a full nervous breakdown.)
Feather Flatterfly: I don’t know how this happened! I’m gonna be fired for—for sure!
Fluttershy: (patting his shoulder) Rainbow Dash and the Wonderbolts will have all the weather rounded up any minute.
(She almost immediately has to eat her words when one screaming blue pegasus plummets out of the sky and goes headfirst into a bush, her coat/mane/tail badly singed and her barrel gone.)
Rainbow: Or not!
(The supervisor proceeds to topple backward in a dead faint. Wipe to the entrance to the throne room as the three villains approach. The doors are closed; cut to just inside as Cozy opens one and hovers just over the threshold.)
Cozy: Not here.
(Long overhead shot of her—and the snoozing geese that have roosted atop the pillars, another of Shining’s security add-ons from “Sparkle’s Seven.”)
Cozy: The archives are in a different part of the castle.
(She backs away as one of the birds comes to with an irritated little hunk. Cut to the corridor, the trio leaving without bothering to close the door; the wakened goose peeks out and begins to creep stealthily after them. Wipe to the amphitheater stage, where Fire is hauling a load of fireworks with horn-power; Rarity and Spike are hurrying to catch up.)
Rarity: What about aiming for perfection?
Fire: (descending steps) We’ve set our sights higher.
Spike: Higher than perfection? (Fire sets the cargo in a wagon.)
Fire: Higher than putting on a silly little show for the other ponies.
Rarity: But you were so excited before. What changed?
(Wipe to the loosed goose flapping to the corner of a passage within Canterlot Castle, then pan quickly ahead a short distance to frame a second one waiting. The first honks to the second, gets a reply, and flies off—message received and understood, whatever it is. Once the coast is clear, the second goose transforms into Chrysalis, who ambles away and soon finds Cozy and Tirek outside a locked gate made from a grid of steel bars—the entrance to the Canterlot Archives, as seen in “It’s About Time.” As the big bruiser stands there looking bored, the devious youngster picks the lock with a paper clip and opens the way for all three to enter.)
(Wipe to the courtyard. The fog has cleared here, the sky partly so, and things have at least calmed down somewhat on the food preparation front. Twilight leads Celestia and Luna through the area.)
Twilight: You two just enjoy the festivities. I have a few surprises in store for—
(Before she can finish the sentence, Discord floats lazily into view on his back, having ditched the angel getup he wore at the end of Act Two and slapped on a smarmy smile.)
Twilight: (annoyed) Yes, Discord?
Discord: Oh, well, don’t mind me. I’m just here for the chaos.
(By the time he finishes this line, he has drifted ahead, seated himself at a table, put on a garish flowered shirt and sunglasses, and begun to peruse a menu. A thunderclap and the glare of a lightning strike bring a merry giggle from his throat.)
Discord: (propping shades on forehead) And here we go! (Rainbow flies past, the singe marks gone from coat/mane/tail.)
Twilight: What is Rainbow Dash doing?
(She starts to take wing after the pegasus, but immediately pulls up short to avoid running into a large, sloshing caldron that Pinkie is sliding into place. The earth pony has shed the medical outfit she sported at the start of this act. Upon spotting Twilight, she blocks as much of the vessel from sight with her body and forelegs as possible—that is to say, not much. A clamor of angry voices begins to make itself heard from o.s.)
Twilight: Pinkie, is this soup?
Pinkie: (thinking fast) Yes! I…was really hungry?
(On the start of the next line, cut to Rarity and Spike standing on a refreshment table before a knot of hacked-off unicorns—the source of the commotion.)
Rarity: Nopony understands wanting to take pride in your work more than I do! (They fall silent.)
Troupe member: (stomping) You could do more with your magic than make frilly dresses!
Rarity: Oh, pfft! Nopony makes frills anymore. (The muttering resumes.) Uh, this season’s actually all about simplicity and—
Spike: Not the point, Rarity!
(Twilight’s aerial approach to this budding civil unrest is cut off when Feather Flatterfly desperately launches himself into her path.)
Feather Flatterfly: Princess! (Drop pleadingly to haunches.) I beg your forgiveness! It’s entirely my fault!
Twilight: What is? (Lightning, accompanied by instant heavy rain.)
Feather Flatterfly: THAT!!
Fluttershy: (sliding him away) Oh, um, just a slight hiccup in the weather.
(Her placating giggle leaves the young Princess at a loss, as does the split-second clearing of the sky. Now Applejack barrels across the grass, towing a cart loaded with baking ingredients; close-up of her face.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) Applejack— (Stop; cut to frame both.) —what is going on?
Applejack: (pointing at Fluttershy/Pinkie/Feather Flatterfly, removing/throwing down hat) I told y’all this was a bad idea, but nopony ever listens to me!
Twilight: That’s it!
(A few flaps and a bit of magic later, she has gathered up her friends and number-one assistant and dumped them gracelessly in one pile. Applejack has her hat back on.)
Twilight: I thought everything was fine! (They start to get up.) What is going on? (Slow pan across the group.)
Applejack: Everythin’ was goin’ fine…
Pinkie: …until it totally wasn’t.
Fluttershy: We tried to fix it ourselves.
Twilight: Why didn’t you tell me?
Rainbow: W-We didn’t want you to freak out.
Twilight: And you thought not telling me everything was a total disaster would avoid a freak-out?!?
Spike: When you say it like that, it sounds like a really bad plan.
(Close-up of Twilight talking a deep breath to compose herself, the camera zooming out to frame her as through a pair of binoculars, and cut to Discord watching from his table with the help of these instruments. As before, his eyes are magnified by the lenses.)
Discord: (eagerly) Here it comes… (Back to Twilight.)
Twilight: I know how I used to react— (smiling) —but I really have changed. Panicking won’t solve anything.
(The joker lowers his binocs, disappointed and a trifle disgusted at having missed out on a sure laugh, as Celestia and Luna pass behind him. Back to the Ponyville bunch.)
Twilight: But we can handle whatever problems come our way, as long as we handle them together.
Celestia: (from o.s.) Spoken like a true leader. (All eyes and heads turn to the sisters.) How can we help?
Twilight: (floating/opening a scroll) I love a good to-do list. (Overhead shot; zoom out slowly. The fog is creeping back in.) So tell me exactly what happened so we can figure out exactly what to do to fix it.
(Wipe to a pan through the Appleloosa crew’s area. They have regained their magic, and Celestia and Fluttershy are looking after some who are still unsteady on their hooves. Applejack waves a brace of pegasi in for a landing, and they get their marching orders from Feather Flatterfly before lifting off again. Ascending with another pair, Rainbow flies several tight circles around a storm cloud to wrap it with her contrail; one last hard pull breaks the whole thing in half, and her two assistants push the pieces away. Luna puts her horn in drive to shove another cloud from the sky, whereupon Discord pops in—without his flowered shirt and sunglasses—and gets rid of a small one in a most unconventional way. Namely: he pulls up the bottom edge of the screen as if it were a curtain, exposing a mass of television static beyond, and shoves the offending thunderhead through before letting the image snap back into place. Luna’s bewilderment at his tactics shifts into a mildly peeved eye roll once he snaps himself away.)
(Tilt down to ground level, where Twilight and Rarity are conferring with Fire and her colleagues. All six trail off into hopelessly confused stares at the sight of Spike in flight, hauling Pinkie by her tail and followed by two ponies wheeling the fluffy-maned nut’s party cannon along. A pegasus stallion wings past the camera, the view wiping behind him to one set of shelves within the Archives. Chrysalis walks past, giving them only a cursory glance, and Tirek does not even bother with that much as he goes by. Cozy, though, pauses in mid-flight to give the tomes a serious look; her eyes widen in close-up, and a longer shot picks out the focus of her attention—a book, held in place by heavy chains and with an image of Grogar’s bell on its cover. She squeezes through one set of shelves to get to it, knocking a few books loose in the process, and tries for some moments to yank it free. Meeting with no success in this effort, she glares at the restraints, then smiles as she hefts a volume marked with a key. One good swing shatters the chains, and she tosses the improvised bludgeon aside and grabs the now-unbound book. The other two gather in, drawn by her return, and all three grin menacingly over the find.)
(Wipe to a close-up of Feather Flatterfly’s legs advancing through the ground-level fog and zoom out/tilt up to frame him intently watching the skies over the amphitheater. A firm nod and signal to Rainbow and her two helpers on the stage, and all three are on the move to break up and bulldoze the clouds. The daredevil loops back down, nearly blowing the boss’s mane/tail/tie off but making him very happy, and in short order ponies are taking their seats before the stage as Twilight paces behind its microphone, amulet held in her magic. The fog has now entirely dissipated. Fire and her troupe are standing at the back of the crowd, and she smiles firmly to the others as the pegasi shift the last obstructions out of the sky. Four horns send up an incendiary salvo whose rounds spiral together before detonating in front of the moon, temporarily casting a pattern of sparks across its surface that replicates the craters of Luna’s millennium-long imprisonment.)
(Fire whistles to the next hilltop over, where Pinkie stuffs a load of pyrotechnics into a launcher before hopping away. A longer shot picks out no fewer than five of these rigs, whose attendants fire off their charges at her signal for a dazzling display. Celestia and Luna watch from the courtyard, the older sister wiping away a happy tear and receiving a pat on the hoof from the younger, and both fly to the stage and land on either side of Twilight. She brings up the amulet, whose surface now shows a crescent moon and stars around a purple central gem, and gives it a twist; the graphic shifts to the sun it displayed in Act One, and the gem goes yellow-orange. Framed by the sun/moon frame, the moon dips below the horizon and is replaced by the rising sun, whose brilliance bathes all three winged unicorns and draws a hearty round of cheers from the spectators. Then the mare steps right up to the microphone, amulet put away, and levitates it off its stand as she speaks.)
Twilight: (amplified) This celebration has always been a reminder not to fear the night, for there is always a new day to look forward to. (solemnly, pacing) But as we look towards Equestria’s future, I am sad to say that today will be the last Summer Sun Celebration. (Stunned gasps from the audience; she continues with a smile.) Because there is something even more important to celebrate.
(This pronouncement catches Celestia and Luna off guard.)
Twilight: (amplified) There are two ponies who have watched over us, night and day, for as long as we can remember. (Her friends and Spike smile from their spot off to one side.) We will no longer commemorate their battle or their reunion. Instead, we will take this day to celebrate how much they mean to all of us. From this day forward, today will be known as…the Festival of the Two Sisters!
(This one hits said siblings like a cinderblock upside the head, but sets off a chorus of wild cheers among the spectators.)
Celestia: (deeply touched) We don’t know what to say.
(So she sweeps her faithful former student into a long hug. Twilight then heads toward her friends, having returned the microphone to its stand, as Celestia and Luna wave gratefully to the multitude. Pinkie hops up to meet her with a giggle in close-up.)
Pinkie: A brand-new holiday? (hugging her tightly) You’re my kinda princess!
Twilight: I’m just glad we pulled it off.
Applejack: (from o.s.) About that. (Zoom out to frame her.) We just wanted to say… (doffing hat) …we’re real sorry.
Rarity: You did tell us you’d changed.
Fluttershy: As your friends, we should’ve trusted you. (Rainbow flies up to Twilight.)
Rainbow: (nudging her; both wink) Next time you say you’re not gonna freak out, we’ll believe you.
Twilight: Good. (She flies down; Applejack has her hat on.) Because I’m sure there’s gonna be plenty of things I’ll need my best friends’ help with.
(Cut to a close-up of her, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow, and Rarity as they come together for a group hug.)
Pinkie: (from o.s.) Whee-hee!
(These five yell as she launches herself off the stage and plows into them, leaving a pile of ponies and one hovering dragon to share a good laugh. Zoom out slowly overhead to bring Discord into view, lounging on a cloud and seen from behind.)
Discord: You know… (Head-on shot; he is holding a frosted crescent-moon cookie.) …it really does seem like you just might be ready for whatever comes next, Your Majesty.
(He tosses the sweet into his mouth and crunches away. Dissolve to the interior of Grogar’s lair; he paces the floor grumpily, only to be brought up short by a hovering Cozy.)
Cozy: Sooooo? Did you find what you’re looking for?
(Sweeping the little pest aside with a hoof, he enters the meeting room seen in “Frenemies” and finds Chrysalis and Tirek lounging in two of the three rude chairs. The centaur’s reduced stature indicates that he has given up the magic he stole from the Appleloosa ponies.)
Grogar: Once again, I’ve found success where you all find failure! (Stomp for emphasis on this last word.) I have located what I sought, and tomorrow I will set out to retrieve it. (pacing away) When I return, Equestria will finally be ours for the taking.
Tirek: (grumpily) Hmph!
Chrysalis: (to him) Oh, stop pouting. (Cozy flies backwards to them, lounging on her back.)
Cozy: You knew you couldn’t stay that buff. (settling into Tirek’s crossed arms) You had to return all the life force to those earth ponies so Grogar doesn’t suspect anything.
Tirek: (dropping her) I don’t have to like it.
Cozy: Well, I don’t like that we worked so hard to destroy their party and they still pulled it off. (grinning, stretching cheeks) But you don’t see me complaining. (She drops into a sullen pout.)
Chrysalis: (pacing) Our goal wasn’t to destroy, it was to distract.
(Channeling power through her horn, she lifts the book Cozy found in the Archives from behind Tirek—he has been sitting on it—and brings to herself as he stands.)
Chrysalis: And now we have exactly what we need. (Cozy hovers up from the floor.)
Tirek: (socking fist into palm) And no time to waste. We have to master the bell before Grogar returns.
Chrysalis: We’ve managed to stay one step ahead of everypony so far. (Cozy flies to her.)
Cozy: You know, it really was super-easy to get all those earth ponies and pegasi and unicorns to turn on each other. (Chrysalis directs the book across the room during this line.)
Chrysalis: It was, wasn’t it? Now that is something to think about.
(It drifts past in the foreground, the view wiping to black behind it.)
SHE TALKS TO ANGEL
Written by Nick Confalone
Produced by Devon Cody
Story editing by Josh Haber
Supervising direction by Jim Miller
Directed by Denny Lu, Mike Myhre
Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)
Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to a close-up of a snake coiled up on a beach chair during the day, on the grounds of Sweet Feather Sanctuary. It voices a series of indignant hisses.)
Fluttershy: (from o.s., patiently) Mmm-hmm?
(A longer shot frames her sitting on a stool alongside. Behind her, a long checklist scroll and a ring of keys have been hung up on nails driven into a tree trunk. The snake continues to vent as her rabbit Angel hops into view behind her.)
Fluttershy: Mmm-hmm? (He tries to get her attention…) Oh! (…then sulks as she addresses herself across the clearing.) Antoine believes what he eats is his business. Do other predators feel that way too?
(Cut to a gathering of animals taking it easy on chairs, stools, and cushions—Antoine the snake, a wolf, three raccoons, and a rather large bear. All mumble vague assent as Fluttershy leans into view, addressing herself past them.)
Fluttershy: Would any prey like to respond?
(Across the way, families of koalas and mice offer very little in the way of rebuttal, as do a young female giraffe and elephant. The first of these two, Clementine, wears a neck brace; the second, Muriel, has a bandage wrapped around her head to immobilize the trunk. Angel’s next attempt to get Fluttershy to turn his way earns him a hoof waving him off.)
Fluttershy: Muriel, does it bother you when Antoine tries to eat you?
(The pachyderm nods and touches her wrapped trunk with a slight wince. On the next line, Angel crosses the grass and the camera cuts briefly to him as he pulls her tail, eliciting a surprised trumpet.)
Fluttershy: Just because you’re on opposite ends of the food chain doesn’t mean you can’t work t—huh?
(The troublemaker scurries for cover, but not fast enough to avoid a disapproving look from the yellow mare. However, she is quick to drop it in favor of a gentle smile.)
Fluttershy: —it doesn’t mean you can’t—
(She cuts herself off again; cut to Angel now pulling one of the bear’s ears and jumping out of reach as it voices an irritated growl. A pointed throat-clearing from the o.s. Fluttershy, and the camera cuts back to her and the ursine resident.)
Fluttershy: —it doesn’t mean you can’t work togeth—
(Now she spots him stepping on the wolf’s tail; it responds by snarling and lunging toward him.)
Fluttershy: Oh!
(He is carried over to her in the beast’s jaws—quite intact, except for the saliva soaking his fur—and spat into her forelegs.)
Fluttershy: (to him, groaning) I’m sorry, but the more you distract everyone, the longer this will take.
(Wiping himself clean, he delivers an angry tirade at close range.)
Fluttershy: I am listening to you! But if you really want to be heard— (gesturing around clearing) —you should join our predator-prey support group.
(Her perspective, holding him up; he fixes the group with a dirty look.)
Fluttershy: Then you could talk to everyone here. (Back to her; zoom in slowly.) You could teach all these hungry predators the delights of a carrot-based cuisine. (Angel grins deviously and hops down.) Sorry, everyone. I think somebunny just wants a little attention. Now, since we all need to get along, what if all predators promise to only eat vegetables while staying at the sanctuary?
(Muted agreement from both sides, with the wolf being the most reluctant.)
Fluttershy: (to it, gently) Oh, Sandra, you can do it.
(Sandra rubs her growling stomach and lies down with a petulant whimper, crossing her forelegs under her chin. Fluttershy offers an encouraging grin, an instant before Angel shows up to stuff a load of carrots into the lupine jaws. Sandra is up in an instant, shoveling them out of her mouth and racing after the fuzzball.)
Fluttershy: (gasping; they almost knock her over) Angel! Sandra! Wait!
(She vacates her stool to get after them, but not fast enough to head off a chain reaction that degenerates into a brawling brouhaha and a cloud of dust. Zecora and local veterinarian Dr. Fauna make their way toward the stream that runs through the sanctuary, just in time to get an exceptionally clear view of the tumult. The zebra has an animal carrier balanced across her back.)
Fauna: (tittering softly) It might look like chaos, but Fluttershy makes it work— (Cut to the fight; she continues o.s.) —even with Angel running around. (Back to the pair.)
Zecora: (thoughtfully) Ooh, perhaps I can help those two get along,
Before something here can go terribly wrong.
(They venture ahead as the view fades to black.)
OPENING THEME
Act One
(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of the sanctuary, whose residents have calmed down and fanned out across the area, and pan to the clearing in which the support group meeting took place. The various seats have been put away, and a visibly frazzled Fluttershy flies down from checking the koalas on an elevated platform to land before Fauna and Zecora, the latter now toting her carrier by a handle in her teeth.)
Fluttershy: Zecora found this little guy and brought him to my office— (Set it down; Angel crosses to it.) —but I thought he might do better at the sanctuary.
(A peek through the gate at one end informs him that the inhabitant is a small red lizard with orange stripes on back and tail and bulbous black eyes, chewing placidly on a leaf and nestling in a bed of straw. Once he finishes his mouthful, he exhales a cloud of thick gray smoke that leaves Angel sooty-faced and coughing.)
Zecora: Bringing him here seemed the right thing to do.
I’ve never seen geckos breathe smoke, though. (He keels over.) Have you?
(Cut to Fluttershy.)
Fluttershy: Oh! I certainly haven’t! (She moves off just as Angel sits up, wiping himself clean.)
Fauna: (from o.s.) I thought we could take a look at his diet—
(Fluttershy reaches her and the carrier on the end of this and hunches down for a look at the little fellow.)
Fauna: —plus, it’s about time for me to give all of the animals here a checkup.
Fluttershy: (opening gate) That’s a wonderful idea.
(The gecko crawls onto a proffered hoof and is lifted, dropping the leaf he was eating and pressing a foot to his belly to indicate his continued hunger.)
Fluttershy: If we really want to know what’s going on, we need to make sure the problem isn’t your food.
(He grumbles, but allows Fauna to carry him away on her foreleg. Zecora, though, takes particular interest in the fact that Angel has climbed onto Fluttershy’s head and is imitating everything she says.)
Fluttershy: I wouldn’t worry too much. It’s probably just something he’s been eating. (She notices Angel.) Oh! (Wave him off; he slides down her mane, drawing a grunt.) Um…is there anything else we can do for you?
Zecora: Ahhh, seeing what you two do,
The real question is, “Can I help you?”
(The pegasus manages a grin as the rabbit jumps down and blows a sullen raspberry.)
Fluttershy: You mean me and Angel?
Zecora: (nodding) Mmm-hmm.
Fluttershy: Oh, he’s fine! We’re fine. I…I just don’t always have time to indulge him. (hastily, hugging/nuzzling him) But we’re best friends.
Zecora: Even the best of friends need help from time to time.
(closing carrier) Come visit me in my hut, should you change your mind.
(She clamps her teeth on the handle and departs.)
Fluttershy: Okay, thanks! (Stand; drop Angel.) But Angel and I are great!
(On the start of the next line, pan slightly to frame Fauna looking over the checklist attached to its tree trunk.)
Fauna: Oh, goodness, Fluttershy! Is this the list of what you do every day? (Incredulous little laugh.) How do you find time for anything else?
Fluttershy: Between here and teaching at the School, I’m not sure I do.
(Angel shoots her a withering look as she pulls the scroll down and rolls it up under a wing. In short order, she is easing the gecko into a grassy space under a wooden box lid propped up by sticks at each corner.)
Fluttershy: You’re gonna love it here, little gecko. (He looks up at her.) What is it? Not fluffy enough? (He points at his belly.) Oh, I’m sorry. We need to see if your food is causing your issue.
(He settles down after a soothing pat on the back, and the camera zooms out quickly. The impromptu terrarium has been set up among the tree platforms, and Angel has climbed up to Fluttershy’s level.)
Fluttershy: (shocked, noticing him) Huh?
(He hunches down and points at his own back—“my turn for a massage.”)
Fluttershy: Mmm… (firmly) …not now, Angel.
(She takes wing across the sanctuary. Wipe to Antoine hissing at Muriel, the two on opposite sides of the pool at the base of the waterfall. On the start of the next line, pan slightly to frame a cookie being held into view toward the fanged predator on a yellow hoof.)
Fluttershy: (from o.s., brightly) They’re snake treats made to look like chocolate chip cookies!
(He tries a bite, enjoys the taste, and readily crunches down the remainder; cut to frame both, a cookie jar resting behind Fluttershy.)
Fluttershy: They’re vegan. Pinkie Pie made a whole jar of them. (setting it down before Antoine) They’re all yours if you promise— (sternly) —no more trying to eat Muriel the baby elephant.
(The beady black eyes flick from said elephant to the jar…then back and forth again…and Antoine finally agrees with a smile and nod. Coiling himself around the container, he pulls it into a small cave under one rock ledge and is soon lost to sight. Fluttershy brings out her checklist and unrolls it for a quick read, but gasps sharply as her tail is pulled out straight behind her, its tip trailing off the left edge of the screen. Pan slightly in that direction to bring the cause into view—Angel, waving happily to get her attention.)
Fluttershy: (backing him off and pointing to list with a wing) No, Angel. I have too much to do.
(His face falls as she walks away. Wipe to Fluttershy and Fauna standing on a platform to get the height boost needed for an examination of Clementine As soon as they remove her neck brace, she goes into a spasm of barking coughs. Fluttershy has her list under a wing again.)
Fauna: Oh, careful, girl. That neck is still pretty sore.
Fluttershy: (calling o.s.) Don’t forget to shift your weight, Scout!
(Cut to the recipient of these words—a flamingo standing on one leg in a pond, head tucked under a wing as it naps. Scout switches legs without waking up; zoom out quickly to frame Fluttershy looking on.)
Fauna: (from o.s., sighing) What does she want?
(Cut to her and Clementine, the latter pointing at her own throat, and pan to frame Fluttershy on the next line.)
Fluttershy: Her neck is feeling better, but a massage every day for the next week wouldn’t hurt. (opening scroll) I’ll add it to my list.
Fauna: (laughing, massaging Clementine’s neck) Fluttershy, I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again. This place would be a zoo without you!
(She adds quotation marks with her front hooves on “zoo” and finishes with a snorty little giggle. Fluttershy, meanwhile, has tacked her list up on the tree next to the ring of keys and has a pencil in her teeth, ready to make a new entry. The impact of dropped acorn against equine cranium causes the writing tool to fall away, and she looks up to find Angel on a platform.)
Fluttershy: (crossly) Angel! (He gesticulates for a moment.) Listen to you for once? Just what exactly is that supposed to mean? (He jumps down and bounds away.) Come back! I-I meant “tell me,” not… (She trails off into a moan.)
Fauna: Well, whatever it is, you’re the only one he can tell about it. Little fella just wants you all to himself.
Fluttershy: Unfortunately, that’s not an option.
Fauna: Oh, he’s not causing any real trouble.
(A camera-shaking crash brings a scared yelp from the vet and spooks a flock of birds into flight.)
Fauna: Other than that, possibly. (Another one, accompanied by Muriel’s trumpeting.) Or that. I’ll just stop talking.
(She peels out to the sound of more panicked elephant noises, while Fluttershy scoops up her re-rolled list with a weary moan.)
Fluttershy: I’ll take care of it.
(She lifts off as if every single one of her bones were filled with lead shot. Cut to Angel at the edge of the waterfall’s pool, fidgeting before a closed wooden door emblazoned with a butterfly. Fluttershy comes in for a landing.)
Fluttershy: (testily) I hope this is important, Angel. (brandishing scroll) I’ve barely made a dent in my to-do list for today.
(She puts a hoof to the door handle; cut to the other side as it swings outward, framing one suddenly delighted little white rabbit. This area proves to a supply closet when both of them enter, every shelf stuffed with containers of all make and model. He stops at the base of a ladder placed to give access to the uppermost tiers and points beseechingly up along its length; tilt up quickly to a jar on the highest shelf—filled with orange liquid, its label showing a carrot. Fluttershy has put her scroll away now.)
Fluttershy: Concentrated carrot extract? That’s for reviving energy-sapped herbivores. (feeling his forehead) Are you feeling rundown?
(He shakes loose and squeaks urgently, pointing to his open mouth.)
Fluttershy: You just like the taste?! (hoof to forehead) Ugh! Angel, that extract is in short supply! What’s gotten into you? Every day this week, you’ve been causing trouble when I have work to do! (Angel chitters impatiently.) Of course I know you can’t talk to anypony else, but that’s not my fault! I have responsibilities!
(The white face settles into a snarl, the yellow one a silent answering grimace. After a few tense seconds, Angel lets his features melt into a deflated, shiny-eyed pout and helpless shrug that prod Fluttershy to relent as well.)
Fluttershy: You’re right. We can’t go on like this. I guess we do need to see Zecora for help.
(He jumps onto her extended foreleg, and she shifts him onto her back while turning toward the door. Wipe to the exterior of Zecora’s hut within the Everfree Forest and zoom in slowly.)
Zecora: (voice over) No need to sit and silently stew.
(Inside, she stirs a phosphorescent green brew in her caldron; Fluttershy and Angel sit facing her.)
Tell each other what’s bothering you.
Fluttershy: He’s so impatient, even when he knows I have work to do.
(Angel crosses his forelimbs over his chest and yanks them apart in a silent denial. He adds more gestures at each pause in the following line; meanwhile, Zecora continues stirring and adding a bit of this and that.)
Fluttershy: Well, that’s not true. We talk all the time…Of course talking at the sanctuary counts. That’s where I am when I don’t have a class to teach…What do you mean, that’s the problem?…You feel like I’m the only pony you can talk to and all I do is ignore you. Well, I feel like you don’t care about my responsibilities!
(The rabbit grumpily turns his back, and Fluttershy offers an apologetic chuckle to the potion-maker.)
Fluttershy: Um, as you can see, we’re kind of at an impasse.
Zecora: Ahh, such luck your coming here, indeed.
(holding up a full ladle; close-up as she continues)
Behold the antidote you need.
Fluttershy: (puzzled) Is this what you meant by “help us”?
Zecora: (from o.s., raising ladle) When trouble brews between you two,
(filling two vials) Turning sister against brother,
True understanding is what’s due.
Each must come to know the other.
(Both lean toward her with hopeful smiles, and she corks the vials and steps out from behind the caldron with them.)
There’s no time to waste. Go directly home.
But you both must taste when you’re finally alone.
(A firm double nod precedes a wipe to a street in Ponyville proper. Fluttershy emerges onto the scene, saddlebags on back and mane/tail/face still careworn. Angel pops up from one pouch, cheerfully holding up both vials.)
Fluttershy: Not yet, Angel. Zecora told us to take it together when we got home.
(The hopper stows them away, then tugs at her mane to bring her to a stop. His energetic pointing draws her eye to the sight of Bon Bon and Lyra Heartstrings, who have set up a roadside picnic for themselves.)
Fluttershy: Oh! I suppose we could dust off the old picnic blanket. It’ll be just like old times. (Angel approves.) We’ll drink the potion and settle in for a nice tea party. I can barely remember the last time we did that. I’ve been so busy at the sanctuary. (becoming increasingly fretful) Though I really need to keep an eye on Zecora’s gecko, and I haven’t finished any of today’s chores. If I don’t, the animals won’t get the care they need. Oh, maybe we should just save the potion until af—
(On the end of this, Angel decides he has had quite enough and hops out of the bags, taking both potion doses with him.)
Fluttershy: Angel! Zecora said to go home first!
(He responds by setting one down, pulling the cork from the other, and gulping the contents. The empty is thrown aside with a little bunny burp, and he hurls the full one across to his owner so hard that she very nearly fails to catch it.)
Fluttershy: I know she said we have to take it together, so…I guess I have to now.
(Pulling the cork with her teeth and spitting it away, she glugs down her shot and voices a sound somewhere between a belch and a gasp as the vial hits the cobbles.)
Fluttershy: I wonder what it’s gonna dooooOOOOO!
(The cause of her alarm is a white glow that envelops both bodies and smears each into the other’s position before subsiding. Fluttershy winds up on her haunches and without her bags, while Angel finds himself hunkered down between their strap—they have landed on the ground where Fluttershy was standing. As he hops clear, she bonks her chin on the roadbed and quickly straightens up. When she speaks next, her voice has lost its demure tone and taken on a faster, slightly panicked quality. Her mane/tail are back in order, and the fatigued lines are gone from her face.)
Fluttershy: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on, hold up. Am I a pony? Why am I a pony?!?
(Down below, Angel looks himself over with a measure of real fear and voices a tiny bunny scream of sudden anguish. Based on Fluttershy’s words and the light show caused by drinking the potion, the two have switched bodies. Zoom out quickly to a long overhead shot and snap to black.)
Act Two
(Opening shot: fade in to a close-up of the affected pair, seen from ground level, and zoom out to put the discarded vials in the fore. Fluttershy, in Angel’s body, hops over to inspect them as Angel stands up in Fluttershy’s, adopting a slightly snarky tone with the borrowed vocal cords.)
*** Until further notice, “Pony AN” and “Rabbit FS” will be used to indicate these two in their body-swapped states. ***
Pony AN: Question. Did we switch bodies?
(Rabbit FS tries a few tentative hops to get used to her new physiology, but ends up tumbling to the ground among the passing ponies. Pony AN fares little better, yelping and stumbling his way across the road, and both consider their reflections in a fountain with great trepidation.)
Pony AN: Seriously? I’m a pony? La-la-la-la. Talking’s so cool. Do you think this is what Zecora meant to happen?
(Rabbit FS shakes her head emphatically, then gestures an inquiry.)
Pony AN: (incredulously) “How are you gonna do your chores?” Really? That’s what you’re worried about?
(The mare in a lagomorph’s body pistons her front paws back and forth in a “turnabout” sort of signal.)
Pony AN: (scornfully) Pfft! Well, maybe I don’t want to switch back. I’ve only been able to talk to you since we met, and now I can talk to anypony I want!
(As he trots away with a grin, she scowls and gets moving after him. It takes Pony AN only a moment to pop up from a flower stall run by Daisy and Rose and get on their nerves.)
Pony AN: Roses are red, violets are blue.
(to each in turn) You sell flowers, and so do you!
(And away he goes, peeking out from around the corner of a different stall to surprise a mother pushing a baby carriage.)
Pony AN: Rubber baby buggy bumpers, rubber baby buggy bumpers!
(The occupant of said carriage begins wailing up a storm as the unnerved mare clears out.)
Pony AN: Toy boat, toy boat, toy bo—
(He trails off into a yell due to being yanked to the ground by his tail.)
Pony AN: (pulling it out of Rabbit FS’s grip) Oh, come on! (Rabbit FS indicates her own ears.) I am so too listening! Quit being so bossy because—
(A popeyed gasp replaces whatever he was about to say next, and he stands up to full height and sniffs the air.)
Pony AN: Are there carrots around here?
(Cut to his perspective, zooming in quickly to a close-up of a bunch in a basket carried by Cherry Berry, then back to the pair. Rabbit FS scrambles ahead to cut off Pony AN’s approach and does a bit of bunny hand jive.)
Pony AN: You think Zecora gave us the wrong potion, so you’re gonna go to her hut in the forest and get something to switch us back. (Nod.) All by yourself? You really don’t know what it’s like, being a bunny. (Brush it off.) Good luck with that. (walking past her) I’m gonna go find those carrots!
(A stomp brings him up short, and he turns to find Rabbit FS pointing back the way they came.)
Pony AN: I need to finish your chores? (snickering) I don’t work for you. And caring about other animals is a “you” thing.
(She proceeds to hit him with…)
Pony AN: (gasping deeply) The Stare? You can still do that? (Loud, prolonged groan.) No fair making me do your bidding against my will!
(Rabbit FS proceeds to kick it up a notch, the camera shifting from one to the other and zooming in slowly on each pair of eyes. Only when Pony AN gives up the fight does it zoom out again.)
Pony AN: (unwillingly) All right! I’ll go do your lame chores while you go see Zecora.
(Mollified, Rabbit FS hops away and leaves Pony AN to plod toward his duties. Dissolve to a close-up of a length of bamboo being inserted into the stream that runs through the sanctuary and tilt up. Here stands Clementine with the other end in her mouth and using it as a drinking straw. Pony AN crosses the bridge over the stream.)
Pony AN: Anypony know where that useless list of Fluttershy’s chores is?
(This question sparks confused noises among the residents, as evidenced when the camera cuts here and there among them on the end of this line. Back to him after he finishes.)
Fauna: (from o.s.) Hey, Fluttershy! (Stop short; she is looking after raccoons and koalas on a platform.) I was starting to wonder if you’d make it back.
Pony AN: (hastily) Fluttershy! Oh, yeah, uh, that’s me. Definitely Fluttershy, a hundred percent. (Fauna and the raccoons are left very puzzled.)
Fauna: Ooo-kay.
Pony AN: (impersonating Fluttershy badly) See how shy I am? (Giggle.) I talk to animals, I want to marry Discord—
Fauna: (pointing to one side) Your list is over there.
(“Over there” being the tree on which it was originally tacked up, along with the keys.)
Pony AN: (sullenly, crossing to it) Oh, yeah. There’s my good old list of chores that I will absolutely not rush through because I definitely do not have better things to do.
(A sneaky smile plays over his face at the sight of one item. Cut to a close-up of Sandra, curled up and sleeping at the base of a tree; she wakes up on the next line as Pony AN’s shadow falls over her.)
Pony AN: (from o.s.) Well, well, well. (Cut to frame both, the yellow face splitting in an unsavory grin.) Remember me?
(The wolf on its receiving end can do little more than offer a shaky little whimper. Wipe to Twilight Sparkle and Spike walking through a tract of meadowland outside Ponyville proper.)
Spike: (shuddering happily) I hope the gem tart stall is still there again. I could use a snack.
Twilight: You nearly bought every tart they had last time, Spike. I can’t imagine they wouldn’t show up when there’s a great customer like you.
(Rabbit FS hops into view facing them, and they stop short.)
Twilight: Oh, hi, Angel. What’s going on?
(The pony in the wrong body pulls her ears forward and down in a rough approximation of her mane style, crosses her forelegs to indicate a switch, and tries in vain to form words.)
Twilight: (to Spike) Do you know what he’s trying to say?
Spike: (shaking head) Nope.
Twilight: Sorry, Angel. You should probably find Fluttershy. If I see her, I’ll let her know you’re looking for her.
(She and Spike continue on their way, taking no notice of the despair on the fuzzy white face. Rabbit FS tries to chase them down, but is badly winded and sweating by the time she tops the first rise in the path. A glance along a side trail tells her all she needs to know and would much rather not—that she is at the edge of the Everfree Forest.)
(Dissolve to a close-up of Sandra, asleep by a different tree and tethered to it by a leash that runs to a collar buckled around her neck. A carrot is thrown into view, plunking down in an empty food bowl; the noise startles Sandra awake, and she barks and pulls at the leash for a second before slumping dejectedly where she sits. Here comes Pony AN, toting another one of the root vegetables and enjoying the spectacle far too much.)
Pony AN: And we’re gonna keep at it until you start to develop a taste for it!
(Sandra whines as the second carrot is tossed into the bowl. Pony AN marks off an item on the checklist, then removes the pencil from his mouth.)
Pony AN: Eh… (reading) “Check Muriel’s trunk…”
(He crosses to the little elephant, pulls the bandage off her trunk with his teeth, and watches as one powerful inhalation sucks the ring of keys off its nail. The whole lot ends up lodged in her schnozz, leaving it swollen and inflamed.)
Pony AN: (walking off) Eh, seems fine to me, as long as we don’t need those keys. Anyway, let’s see. (reading) “Massage Clementine’s neck…”
(The young giraffe husks out a breath and paws at her throat as a ladder is set up alongside. Pony AN climbs up, thumps her roughly in the back of the neck a couple of times, and dismounts to look over the scroll once more.)
Pony AN: (reading) “Get Scout to switch legs…”
(Scout is snoring heartily away and balanced above the water on one leg, just as in Act One.)
Pony AN: (shrugging) Eh, probably best not to wake him. (skimming list) Did the thing with the thing, yadda-yadda-yadda, animals, animals, animals, all that’s left is… (reading) “Monitor Zecora’s gecko until bedtime”?
(Lowering the parchment, he finds this selfsame critter on the grass right in front of him. The protruding black eyes blink slowly, each in its own rhythm.)
Pony AN: All right, dude. How about we do bedtime now?
(A bewildered grunt drifts up as yellow feathers roll up the scroll and slip it under a wing.)
Pony AN: Yeah, eating makes me tired too. Which reminds me—there’s some carrot extract with my name on it.
(Pan quickly to the closed door of the supply closet that contains the good stuff, then cut back to him.)
Pony AN: Okay. Let’s get you fed and off to dreamland. What do you eat, anyway?
(The gecko grumbles a bit and points off to one side; cut to Antoine sleeping on the rocks, his jar of cookie-styled treats resting securely within his coils. On the start of the next line, zoom out quickly to frame Pony AN and the gecko hunched down over him.)
Pony AN: What do you say, snake? (Antoine wakes up.) Can you find something else to eat if I borrow those cookies for my friend here?
(With an enthusiastic nod, the snake empties the jar in front of the gecko. A long sticky tongue lashes out to pull one into the mouth, then another, and he hops onto the remaining pile and lets off a smoky belch, which both Pony AN and Antoine wave away with mild revulsion.)
Pony AN: Eh, sure that’s normal. There you go. Problem solved. (crumpling up list) I don’t see what’s so hard about this job. (Toss it away; walk off.) Fluttershy is such a whiner.
(A sneaky little hiss marks Antoine’s slide into the water. Wipe to a close-up of Rabbit FS hopping frantically along a path in the Everfree Forest. A fallen log blocks her path, covered with moss and luminous mushrooms and with a diameter at least twice her height. A first attempt to climb over it comes up short, but she discovers a gap caused by the decay of the wood and easily slips through only to find a second log smack in her way. An experimental tap produces a solid thud—nothing rotten in this one—and Rabbit FS voices a frustrated little yell but cuts it off sharply upon noticing an eagle on a nearby tree branch. The bird of prey launches itself toward her with a keening cry, and Rabbit FS dives into the undergrowth a fraction of a second before the deadly sharp talons can snap shut on her. Scratched and disheveled from the plunge, she risks a peek skyward and sees/hears the eagle retreating into the distant sky.)
(Dissolve to a close-up of Zecora nipping up one of the glowing fungi with her teeth. It goes into a basket with others she has found, just before Rabbit FS collapses to the dirt in front of her, heaving for breath.)
Zecora: Quite a day, my fuzzy friend.
Did things work out for you in the end?
(The pony-turned-bunny heaves herself upright, coat back in order, and waves her forelegs frantically.)
Zecora: I’m sorry, dear bunny, that things seem so grave,
But I don’t understand when you sign and wave.
(Rabbit FS’s ears droop dejectedly as the zebra leans down to look her straight on.)
A single link to all the world, only one in all the land.
How special she must be to you, the one who understands.
(picking another mushroom; the two are just outside her hut)
Perhaps if you explained what you wanted to somepony who understood,
If you truly felt heard and valued, all would return to good.
(Surprise on Rabbit FS’s face as the words sink in.)
And if you were to both apologize, having learned this little lesson,
I imagine that might bring an end to the friendship therapy session.
(The whiskered white face breaks into a big smile, and the owner hops across to hug as much of Zecora’s foreleg as she can reach, earning a pat on the back in return. Dissolve to a close-up of the supply closet door’s handle; Pony AN wraps both front hooves around this and strains to get it open, without any luck.)
Fauna: (from o.s.) Fluttershy? (She descends a flight of steps to this level.) Do you mind helping me look for Muriel the baby elephant?
Pony AN: Oh, she’s having dinner with Antoine. (Pull at the door again.)
Fauna: (taken aback) Antoine the python?
Pony AN: It was on the list. (reciting) “Remember, Antoine wants to have Muriel over for dinner.”
Fauna: (darting to him) Not over for dinner— (shaking him) —he wants to have her for dinner! (She gallops away.)
Pony AN: Wait. What?!?
(Fade to black.)
Act Three
(Opening shot: fade in to Pony AN approaching the bridge across the stream. On the opposite lies Antoine, most of his length distended by a large bulge to mark a meal he has swallowed whole. A very worried Fauna is keeping watch over him, putting an ear to the bulge and hearing a muffled trumpet that tells her where Muriel has ended up.)
Fauna: Bad snake! (trying to force his jaws apart) Open your mouth this instant, mister!
(The mouse family swipes the last carrot from Sandra’s bowl; she snarls and charges after them, but her leash snaps taut and yanks her back so that her fall wipes out the house of cards being assembled by the bear. It adds its angry vocalizations to Sandra’s as Scout tries to run down the mice, but one of the flamingo’s legs goes rigid with a sudden cramp and sends it yelping in pain to the grass—the result of not shifting its balance in the water. A cough from Clementine startles the gecko into exhaling a burst of fire, from which an ember falls to cause a flare-up in the bushes. Fauna cries out in fear as a couple of birds go airborne to get away from the spreading mayhem, then races across to Pony AN.)
Fauna: What is going on? You did all the chores on your list, huh? Didn’t you?
Pony AN: Well, technically, I did ’em, kind of, but more technically, it’s not my list.
Fauna: You wrote it!
Pony AN: Did I, though?
Fauna: (shaking him) WHAT’S GOTTEN INTO YOU?!?
Pony AN: (pushing her back) You do not want to know.
(Turning away from the vet, he finds a bedraggled, utterly spent Rabbit FS crawling along the path toward him.)
Fauna: (horrified) Huh?
(She turns the little one face-up and sits for a closer look.)
Fauna: Angel?
Pony AN: What’s wrong with her? (catching herself) H-Him? W-What happened? (Close-up of the wiped-out bunny.)
Fauna: (from o.s., stroking her) He’s exhausted.
(Close-up of Rabbit FS’s thunderstruck features, mouth wobbling in a nearly inaudible whimper, and zoom out to frame Fauna.)
Fauna: Fluttershy, I need a jar of concentrated carrot extract, stat!
Pony AN: (gasping) It’s locked in the supply room!
Fauna: Where are your keys?!
(The connections fall together in the brain of the rabbit in a mare’s body, causing the blue-green eyes to pop wide open in unpleasant surprise.)
Pony AN: (hoof to forehead, slightly strangled tone) Uhhhh…
(Wipe to him pressing an ear to Antoine’s swollen hide and hearing panicked trumpets within.)
Pony AN: (addressing himself o.s.) Any ideas how to get the keys out of the elephant that’s inside the snake?
(Cut to just behind him. This question has been aimed at the other animals, every single one of which turns its back pointedly. Scout is upright and standing on both legs now. Long pause.)
Pony AN: Okay, point taken, and I totally deserve it. I did not provide you with the care that Fluttershy would. (angrily, stomping) But now you know what it’s like not to get the level of attention to which you’ve become accustomed! (A funny look from Sandra; she calms down.) The point is, Fluttershy is trapped in my bunny body. If we don’t help her, maybe none of us will get her attention! I get that you don’t want to help me, but don’t you want to help her?
(Grudging agreement from the gathered species. Dissolve to a close-up of Clementine walking up to a pair of crossed palm trees, the tree end of Sandra’s leash in her mouth. She drops it over the juncture for the gecko to bite on and drag away. This is quickly cinched around the end of Antoine’s tail, and a thumbs-up from the little fire-breather and a lifted wing from Scout are Sandra’s cues to stand ready. The other end of the leash is still clipped to her collar.)
Pony AN: Here goes nothin’.
(He flips a signal to Scout, who lowers the wing as a prompt for Sandra to run straight ahead. The leash goes taut, hauling Antoine up to the trees’ intersection by his tail and dragging foot after foot through the gap. The bulge of the engulfed Muriel is forced closer and closer to the head, and the raccoons have no time to jump clear before the elephant goes flying—trumpeting wildly, trunk still swollen with the keys she inhaled, the rest of her smeared with saliva. She tumbles gracelessly to the turf, and Pony AN gasps and hurries across to her.)
Pony AN: (raising her trunk) Now we just need to get those keys outta there.
(A looming shadow falls across both of them from behind, cast by a rearing, hissing Antoine and scaring Muriel into blatting the keys loose. Now liberally smeared with slime, they hurtle through the air and land neatly on their original nail.)
Pony AN: (laughing) Nice one, snake!
(He crosses to retrieve them as Muriel topples backward to the grass.)
Pony AN: (taking keys down) I guess Fluttershy was right. Predators and prey can work together.
(The leash has now been disconnected from Antoine’s tail and Sandra’s collar, and he gallops away over the bridge. Dissolve to a close-up of an unconscious Rabbit FS lying on a pillow; Fauna strokes her gently, concern etched onto every square inch of her face. It gives way to a flat look directed toward Pony AN, who heaves the jar of carrot extract from the supply closet up to the ledge with considerable effort.)
Pony AN: (out of breath) This place is so…much…work! (He flops onto his haunches.)
Fauna: (smiling, opening jar) Oh, I know! I have no clue how you do it all— (setting lid down, crossing to Rabbit FS; Pony AN hauls himself up) —but we are so grateful.
(She brings out an eyedropper by the time Pony AN can make his way up and across. Close-up of Rabbit FS.)
Pony AN: (from o.s.) I can’t believe she does this every day! (Back to him and Fauna, the latter with dropper now full and in her teeth.) I just wish I could tell her myself.
Fauna: (shifting it to a hoof) What?
(The little mouth is gently pried open and the dose of extract squirted in, and both pairs of equine eyes stare down at Rabbit FS with deepest concern. Pony AN voices a terrified little whimper over the motionless form until black eyes flutter open to meet blue-green, and Rabbit FS sits up so quickly that Fauna lets the dropper fall from her mouth.)
Pony AN: (overjoyed) You’re awake! (Rabbit FS hops in place and gestures.) It was so hard getting to Zecora’s hut, and impossible getting back? You can’t believe I survive like this? (Rabbit FS nods solemnly.) Well, I can’t believe you work here every day! These animals are crazy! No wonder you don’t have time for me.
(One white paw points at the speaker.)
Pony AN: My life is hard? No, your life is hard. (Again.) You never appreciated me? No. I never appreciated you!
(The one-sided exchange leaves Fauna at such a loss that she chooses this moment to back slowly away from it.)
Pony AN: You’re sorry? I’m sorry too! (hugging Rabbit FS) Come here, you little bunny-who’s-a-pony-who’s-a-bunny!
(He coos over her as the magic glow that switched them in Act One kicks up and reverses their positions once more, restoring Angel to cleanliness and health. Fauna, for her part, busies herself replacing the lid on the jar of carrot extract. A glance at the pair prompts her to rub her eyes in order to make sure she is not seeing things, and Fluttershy and Angel stand up to look themselves over.)
*** The use of “Pony AN” and “Rabbit FS” ends here, since the two have been restored to their proper bodies. ***
Fluttershy: Oh, my goodness! I’m back! (jumping in place) I’m a pony again!
(Her pet goes up for an ecstatic leap of his own, clicking the heels of his hind paws together in midair, and finishes with a bit of running in place.)
Fluttershy: Oh, Angel, I promise to always make time for you from now on. (He waves her off with a grin.) What do you mean, maybe I won’t have to? (A gesture.) You want to do what?
(Wipe to a close-up of her on the grounds of the sanctuary.)
Fluttershy: And that’s when I realized Fluttershy doesn’t have to be the only one I talk to.
(The odd combination of first- and third-person speech is explained in a longer shot. A new meeting of the predator/prey support group has been called, with Angel sitting on a stool next to Fluttershy and letting her translate his gestures into words. A fresh copy of the checklist scroll has been tacked up on the tree behind them.)
Fluttershy: (speaking for him) I can come here and talk to all of you.
(A still-longer shot of the entire gathering. Muriel’s trunk is fully healed, all of Antoine’s digestive juices have been cleaned off her, and Sandra no longer wears her collar.)
Fluttershy: (speaking for Angel) And now that I know how much work goes into this place— (Close-up of him; she continues o.s.) —I suppose I could kinda-sorta help out every now and then.
(He finishes with a happy little blush and is met with a round of approving nods/chitters/grunts.)
Fluttershy: (wiping a tear from her eye) Oh, Angel, that is so sweet. But now that I know what you go through every day— (Close-up of him; she continues o.s.) —I understand why your time with me is so important. (Both again.) I promise to always make time for you.
(White and yellow cheeks tint pink as the fuzzy hellion jumps across to her stool for a hug, earning a round of applause from the group. Pan away from them across the stream, where Fauna is bringing Zecora’s animal carrier back to her with handle in teeth.)
Fauna: (setting it down, turning gate end toward Zecora; the gecko is inside) Turns out your friend here doesn’t have a problem at all.
(Close-up of the red/orange reptile.)
Fauna: (from o.s., opening gate) He isn’t a gecko, he’s a fire lizard.
(A cheerful little burst of flame greets these words.)
Fauna: I forgot that before they get their flame, it’s hard to tell them apart. (Sheepish chuckle.)
Zecora: I’m glad to discover where the source of it lies,
Or the fire that he breathes would be quite the surprise.
Fauna: Speaking of surprises… (glancing toward Fluttershy/Angel) …can you please never do that again?
(Cut to the pair on the end of this, a hank of pink mane draped over the fuzzy white noggin, then back. Zecora answers Fauna’s glare with a “who, me?” look followed by a knowing wink and smile. “Iris out” to black, the aperture centered on the striped face and pausing briefly before it closes altogether.)
DRAGON DROPPED
Written by Josh Haber
Produced by Devon Cody
Story editing by Josh Haber
Supervising direction by Jim Miller
Directed by Denny Lu, Mike Myhre
Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)
Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to an extreme close-up of the knob on a closed door within the Castle of Friendship. A magic glow envelops and opens it, and Rarity puts her head in from the corridor beyond. The room is cast in dim light.)
Rarity: (singsong) Oh, Spi-i-ike! Are you in here?
(Zoom out; she has arrived in Spike’s bedroom, and the top of his head and the end of a busily moving quill are now visible in the foreground. She steps fully through the doorway.)
Rarity: (singsong) Hel-lo-o-o!
(Not getting an immediate response, she shades he eyes to peer intently across at him. The camera cuts to just behind her shoulder, framing him seated at a small desk by a window whose open curtains admit a shaft of daylight. He is wearing a bathrobe.)
Rarity: Spike?
Spike: (distractedly) Uh-huh?
Rarity: Oh, there you are! I was starting to think you weren’t here. I realize this is last minute, but I’ve decided on a quick trip to the gem cave! (flicking mane) I am on an urgent mission to find some faceted iridescents for my new design, and I can’t think of anypony I’d rather have along than my favorite basket-holder-slash-bodyguard, Spike.
(She finishes with front hooves tented under her chin and an alluring little smile—which turns into an irritated grimace as he takes only the briefest pause from writing to scratch his head.)
Rarity: Spike! (sidling closer) Spi-i-ike? (Still nothing.) SPIKE!
(Normal illumination resumes in a blink; the bathrobe falls off, its wearer jolted back to reality so sharply that he drops his quill and nearly overturns his desk.)
Spike: What? (noticing her) Oh, hey, Rarity. (She leans in to stare him down point-blank.)
Rarity: Honestly, Spike. It’s almost as if you haven’t been listening.
(He gathers up the scroll he has been working on, then hits it with his fire to send it on its way as a tendril of smoke out the window.)
Spike: Oh! Uh… (laughing) …of course I was, but just to be sure, could you say it all again? (Dopey grin; cut to Rarity.)
Rarity: (sighing) I was saying that I’ve planned on visiting the gem cave, and—
Spike: (from o.s., panicked, pushing her aside) Oh, no!
(Zoom in quickly on a bookshelf at the opposite wall; one shelf holds a clock that reads a few minutes before 12:00. Back to the two.)
Spike: Is that the time?
(He stuffs a few things into a backpack, slings it up, and is flying out the door even before Rarity can finish her indignant yelp. Out in the corridor, he rounds a corner and the unicorn catches up at a brisk trot.)
Rarity: Of course you’re right. This is a bit of a late start and those gems won’t pick themselves.
Spike: Uh-huh.
(Cut to just outside the front doors of the Castle, which burst open so Spike can continue his rattled flight—at least until Rarity exerts her field to pull him back.)
Rarity: But the real question is— (levitating out two wicker baskets) —which basket do you want to hold?
(One is considerably larger than the other, with shoulder straps attached to allow it to be worn on the back.)
Rarity: The smaller one, right? (Laugh.)
Spike: Oh, right. (He pushes it away, she drops both.) Sorry, Rarity. Can I take a rain check on…what was that again? (Another dumb grin.)
Rarity: (floored) The…gem cave?
Spike: Right. Sounds great. But I need to get to the post office before noon. (Close-up of Rarity.)
Rarity: (laughing airily) All right, very funny. (magically lifting baskets) Obviously you get the bigger basket, and I sh—
(The rest of the sentence dies on her tongue as the blue eyes pop in surprise and the containers hit the steps. A long shot reveals that Spike has bugged out.)
Rarity: (softly) Spike? (Zoom out to a long shot of the Castle and School of Friendship.) Hello?
(Not another living soul on either set of grounds. Fade to black.)
OPENING THEME
Act One
(Opening shot: a patch of sparkles against the black screen, which form the outline for a largish gemstone that fades into view. It is pulled away in Rarity’s magic, the camera pointing out at her through the hole in the rock wall where it had been embedded. She is in the gem-studded cavern that she has visited on occasion in past episodes, and is wearing her bejeweled, blue-bowed, headlamp-equipped hard hat. In addition, she has donned a pale blue blouse with a gem pattern and a broad, light green ribbon tie. She keeps her voice down while in the cavern.)
Rarity: I don’t understand. For as long as we’ve known each other, Spike has never turned down an opportunity to join me here. (The cavern proper.) It’s his favorite place!
(Her magic tosses the stone over her shoulder; it clunks off the floor in close-up and the larger of her two baskets is set down next to it. Over at the wall, Rarity has floated a jeweler’s loupe up to her eye in order to do a bit of detailed examination.)
Rarity: (pointedly) Ideally you catch the gems, dear. (Multiple reflections appear in the facets of another; loupe gone.) And for a trip to the post office, of all places!
(This one is wrenched free and slung back, only to ricochet off the basket’s edge and graze a hind leg as it rattles to the floor.)
Rarity: Maybe you should move closer? (levitating another one loose with effort) And why would Spike need to go to the post office at all? He sends mail by breathing! Breathing, darling! (It shatters in her aura.) Breath mail!
(The fragments go flying across the cavern as the basket holder—Applejack—steps into the light and manages to catch exactly none of them. One end of a branch has been tied to the crown of the workhorse’s hat, and a lantern hangs on a string from the other to dangle in front of her face. With teeth clamped on one handle, she glowers at Rarity.)
Rarity: Honestly, Applejack. If you’re going to fill in, you could make an attempt to hold the basket the way Spike would! (Applejack spits it out.)
Applejack: (normal volume) And how’s that?
Rarity: (pushing lantern aside) Well, for one thing, Spike knows how to keep things quiet so as not to waken the bats!
(Green eyes flick fearfully up to the cavern ceiling and the dozens of sleeping bats that hang upside down from it. Now Rarity shifts the lantern away with her power so she can address Applejack at close range.)
Rarity: And he usually follows me closely so no gem ever touches the ground!
(Applejack sucks in a sharp breath and has to stop the light from bashing her in the face; meanwhile, a disconcerted Rarity twiddles a hoof over the surface of an outcropping.)
Applejack: (hushed, crossing to her) Rarity, Spike’s been followin’ you closely since he got to Ponyville. And in case you hadn’t noticed… (full volume) …I AIN’T SPIKE!!
(The increased decibels and the huff that follows them rouse the bats with remarkable efficiency. Cut to outside the mouth of the cavern as both mares exit at a yelping, yelling gallop to keep ahead of the swarm, having left the basket behind.)
Rarity: ACTUALLY, APPLEJACK, I HAD NOTICED!!
(They and the airborne rodents charge past the camera, the view wiping behind them to a pair of closed doors within the Castle. These are magically swung open to frame Twilight Sparkle hovering in the library, her field holding one book open at eye level and several dozen others in stacks. The interruption startles her into dropping the lot, but she manages a smile nonetheless.)
Twilight: (descending) Um, hi, Rarity! What’s up?
(Cut to the white unicorn at the doorway—accessories gone, mane/tail in a state of general ruination, and voicing a supremely frustrated sigh.)
Rarity: Besides my mane? Well, that is a question for Spike. (Pout; cut to Twilight.)
Twilight: (floating/stacking books) Oh. Well, Spike isn’t here. I think he’s at the post office.
(Something large and heavy begins to grind its way across the floor toward her, and a cut to Rarity picks it out as a couch she is pushing.)
Rarity: Again? (She flops to the cushions on her back.) What is it with Spike and the post office?
(She turns onto her belly and buries her face in a pillow as the Princess flies over to sit on the nearest table.)
Twilight: Rarity, what’s going on? (Rarity flips again.)
Rarity: Spike declined my invitation to the gem cave, and I intend to find out why! (Pillow over face.)
Twilight: Hmmm…that doesn’t sound like Spike. Did you two have some sort of fight? (Down; Rarity sits up.)
Rarity: A fight? Goodness, Twilight, what in Equestria would we fight about?
Twilight: I’ve had arguments with friends before, and they can put a real strain on friendships.
Rarity: Well…certainly… (lying down on back) …but I think I’d remember if we had an argument.
Twilight: Maybe you didn’t realize it? Do you think you could’ve done something that unintentionally hurt his feelings?
(The white mare’s eyes go very wide as she sits up indignantly.)
Rarity: Well, if I didn’t realize what I did, how would I know what I have done when I did it?
(A brainstorm hits under the rumpled purple mane, and she claps hooves to cheeks while voicing a stunned little bray. Off the couch she goes, scattering the stack of books Twilight holds with horn-power.)
Rarity: I wonder if that’s it. (pacing; Twilight gathers them up) It certainly would explain his behavior. (resolutely) I must apologize!
Twilight: For what?
Rarity: Oh, pfft. That’s hardly the point. (overwrought) Poor Spikey-wikey! This calls for a grand gesture!
(All four legs kick into gear to propel her out of the library, leaving its resident proprietor sitting confusedly amid the scattered literature.)
Twilight: Okay. Good talk.
(After a beat of silence, she takes in the extent of the mess and grumbles softly at the prospect of having to clean it up all over again. Wipe to a close-up of two taloned hands being held out across a counter, together with palms up. Derpy Hooves leans into view to transfer a twine-tied bundle of letters onto these from her mouth, after which the camera tilts up to frame the new holder as Gabby. She has barely enough time to grin and salute the pegasus before the sounds of an opening door and Rarity’s labored breathing interrupt. Cut to a longer shot; they are in the Ponyville post office, Derpy on duty behind the counter in her brown/white uniform, and a shadow of considerable size casts itself across them both in time with the grind of weight against the plank floor. A different camera angle frames the source as a large crate taller than either of them, filled to brimming with a mélange of items—gems, toys, muffin tins, comic books, and so forth—and adorned with a large green ribbon tied in a bow. The sight of this behemoth spooks Derpy into yanking down a roll-up door to close off the counter, while Gabby is too flabbergasted to stow the letters in the mail pouches she wears. However, she snaps to with a smile. Rarity has put her mane/tail back in order.)
Gabby: (hovering, plowing in/through crate to Rarity’s side) Wow! That’s a big crate of stuff you’re mailing!
Rarity: I’m not mailing it. (She stops pushing and crumples onto her back.)
Gabby: Then why are you pushing it into the post office?
Rarity: (noticing her for the first time) Oh! I didn’t realize griffons worked at the Ponyville post office.
(By the time this particular griffon extracts herself from the cargo and flies down to pull the mare upright, she has put the correspondence in her pouches.)
Gabby: (giggling) Oh, no, I don’t work here exactly. (holding up one pouch) I’m the official mail carrier of Griffonstone. Gabby Griffon. (Cut to Rarity; she continues o.s., holding out a hand to shake.) Nice to meet you!
(Rarity demurely smiles and offers a hoof, only for Gabby to seize it in both hands and deliver a bone-rattling, mane-mussing shake. Both pouches are strapped to her sides again.)
Rarity: Ah, yes, well. (patting mane back in place) Uh, these things aren’t for sending, they’re for apologizing to Spike.
Gabby: Oh! Spike was just here! He went to go make us a— (Close-up of Rarity on the end of this.)
Rarity: That’s perfect! It’ll give me a chance to practice. (pushing Gabby back a step) Uh, you stand there and tell me if I hit the right apologetic notes. (She climbs up and roots around in the crate.)
Gabby: What are you apologizing for?
Rarity: Darling, I don’t see why that matters.
(Her magic pitches a few items down for the out-of-towner to catch, followed by several dozen more that bury her completely. Talons flick a pair of loose jewels away to clear a field of vision for the blue-green eyes as the lights are switched off to cast the room in semi-darkness. Rarity rises to her hind legs, holding a crank-operated phonograph above her head, and drops to her hocks as a spotlight beam picks her out and a melodramatic orchestral score begins to play. The music is a perfect reflection of the tone she uses for the next line.)
Rarity: And that is why I simply cannot bear the thought of having hurt you! (Throw the player aside; stand up.) And even though I don’t know what it is that I did, I want you to know that it doesn’t matter! (Drop to hocks.) Because I am prepared to do anything to make it right!
(She throws herself full length on the floor with a shuddery sigh, holds the pose for a moment, then rises to her hocks.)
Rarity: (quietly) And scene.
(The spotlight and music shut off and the normal light level re-establishes itself. She gets on immediate response except for a string of indistinct mumbles from the junk pile covering Gabby.)
Rarity: (crossing to her) Oh, sorry, dear. (She levitates some of it away so Gabby can sit up.)
Gabby: I said, “That sure sounds genuine.”
Rarity: (needled) Well, of course it sounds genuine. It is genuine! (Gabby winds up buried again.)
Spike: (from o.s.) Rarity?
(Pan to him at the open door, backpack gone and an ice cream cone in each hand.)
Spike: What are you doing? (He walks in.)
Rarity: (casually) Obviously I’m working on my apology to you, Spike. (leaning on pile) I don’t know how I could be more genuine. I mean— (Huge gasp; she realizes he is here.) Spike!
(An instant later, she has darted away, dimmed the lights, and dropped to hocks in her spotlight with phonograph above head. The soppy music and manner of speaking resume.)
Rarity: Oh, Spike, I am so sorry! Please forgive me!
(Standing up on her hind legs, she hurls the player to one side; a crash and cat’s affrighted yowl drift back, and the music stops.)
Rarity: You have to forgive me! I don’t know what I did or why you are mad at me! (Down to hocks again.) Just please say you forgive me! (sobbing, throwing herself at his feet) Pleeeeease!
(Tilt up from her to his hopelessly flummoxed visage.)
Spike: Of course I forgive you, but, uh, what are you apologizing for? (Spot off; lights on; she straightens up.)
Rarity: (angrily) Why does everypony keep harping on that— (catching herself) —wait. Don’t you know?
Spike: No. I’m not mad at you about anything.
Rarity: B-But—but I don’t understand. If you’re not upset with me, why in Equestria would you refuse to go to the gem cave?
Spike: Uh, because I had other plans? (Gabby bursts out to hover above the pile.)
Gabby: With me!
(She touches down next to the baby dragon, beaked and scaly faces beaming with delight—but those last two words cause Rarity’s mental machinery to seize up in a flash. She pulls in a lung-bursting gasp and gnaws a hoof in terror before the view fades to black.)
Act Two
(Opening shot: fade in to the three and zoom in slowly.)
Rarity: I don’t understand. You two know each other?
Spike: Gabby and I are sort of pen pals.
Gabby: Yeah! (rapid fire) There was this whole thing where I pretended to get a cutie mark because griffons don’t get cutie marks, so Princess Twilight had Spike send a bunch of letters off to Griffonstone about the first griffon ever to get a cutie mark— (sheepishly, normal cadence) —which I really didn’t have.
(A highly condensed re-telling of the events of “The Fault in Our Cutie Marks.” She emphasizes the essential bits by first pointing to the clip on one of her pouches—given to her by the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and styled after their own marks—and then holding up Spike.)
Spike: Gabby wrote back explaining things, and after that, we just started writing back and forth.
Gabby: (taking an ice cream cone from him) Turns out we have a lot in common! We both come from cultures that don’t have the friendliest of reputations.
Spike: (licking his own) And we’re both in the message-sending business!
Gabby: (nodding) Uh-huh!
(They clunk their treats together in a toast and proceed to hork them down in one bite each.)
Gabby: I sure wish I could send scrolls with my breath!
(She and Spike share a hearty laugh, the camera zooming in on Rarity as she stare coolly at the pair and offers a little artificial mirth of her own.)
Rarity: Yes. Now I understand why you didn’t come to the gem cave. Having a friend in town is a rare treat. (Gabby and Spike gather up the spilled contents of the crate.) Look, since you’re busy today, maybe we can do something tomorrow. Fabric shopping? I know how you love to pick out the colors.
Spike: Uh, actually, now that there’s a griffon at Twilight’s school, Gabby’s here all the time. (Surprise from Rarity.)
Gabby: (dumping a load into the crate, dusting off palms) Grandpa Gruff asks for a lot of updates about how Gallus is doing. (Groan.) Speaking of which… (Hover down to Rarity/Spike.) …I better get going!
Spike: (dropping his armload, hovering up to her) I’ll fly with you.
Rarity: Well, all right. You two fly along. I’m sure Spike and I can do something some other—
(She stops short, realizing that they have exited the post office while she was talking. Cut to an overhead shot of its entrance, zooming out as she steps out to watch the two winged pen pals soar away, then back to a close-up of her.)
Rarity: (deflated) —time?
(Her entire demeanor crumbles into verge-of-tears dejection as she slumps against the doorframe. Dissolve to an extreme close-up of two lengths of cloth in nearly identical shades of purple, both held in her magic. These are pulled apart and away from the camera to frame her in a fabric shop; she glances indecisively from one to the other.)
Rarity: I cannot decide which shade of purple is the most royal!
(They are rolled back onto their spindles and tossed into a pile on the far side of the showroom that seems to shiver of its own free will. Next she brings down a pink bolt from an overhead cabinet.)
Rarity: And there’s the pink! How will I ever choose?
(A tilt of her head on the end of this line reveals that the weighty accumulation of textiles is being supported on Rainbow Dash’s back, with considerable difficulty.)
Rainbow: (straining a bit) Too bad Spike’s not here. I bet he could help you narrow it down.
(Cut to one window, through which Gabby and Spike can be seen delivering a package to a unicorn mare at her home. Rarity, dismayed, steps up and puts her face to the glass; close-up of her, seen from outside.)
Rarity: (muffled by glass) He is a good sounding board, isn’t he?
(Punctuated by the blue daredevil finally collapsing under the load she carries. Rarity turns her face away and fires up her horn to lower a set of blinds, blocking out the view; however; she cannot resist making a small gap for one last forlorn peek. The view undergoes a wavering dissolve to a softly focused, extreme close-up of her eye intently studying a tray of loose gems with the help of her loupe. One piece is magically lifted away; cut to her in a jewelry shop, standing across the counter from the impassive earth pony who runs the place, and zoom out. Spike is here with her, and he confidently pokes at her mane to get her to drop the gem into his waiting hands. A lick at the gleaming surface prompts a grimace of revulsion, and he passes it back with a disdainful shake of the head. Rarity in turn shoots a hard sidewise glance at the jeweler, who grins and sweats nervously at having been bowled out for offering poor-quality goods. Her field returns the reject stone to the tray and brings out a different one, which causes Spike’s eyes to pop wide open as soon as it touches his tongue. He delivers his verdict in the form of a grinning thumbs-up; Rarity grins in reply, and the jeweler smiles in relief and wipes his forehead dry.)
(Dissolve to a normally focused extreme close-up of her loupe-magnified eye going over a tray of stones, then cut to the counter. A different pony is in charge of the store now, this one an earth pony mare, marking the previous sequence as a flashback in Rarity’s mind. The unicorn sets the loupe aside, floats up one gem, and aims a smile behind herself—but the camera pans to frame only an empty patch of floor. Her face falls at the absence of her favorite assistant, and she puts out her tongue for a tentative lick at one facet that gives her no useful information whatsoever. Glancing out the window, she spots Gabby delivering a letter to Gallus, who tucks it away in the bags slung across his back. She is accompanied by Spike, he by Silverstream and Yona. Gabby pulls a camera from one pouch, passes it to Gallus, and pulls Spike close so he can snap a picture of the two. Gallus hands over the photo that slides out, and Gabby and Spike smile broadly over it. Zoom out through the window to frame a discomfited Rarity, who absently plunks a sack full of coins on the counter with her field and leaves with all the gems, to the jeweler’s delight.)
(Wavering dissolve to another softly focused flashback, this one of the exterior of a different shop, and zoom in on Rarity as she opens the door and emerges onto the step. A small shopping bag floats under her power, and she flicks her mane and trots serenely away so Spike can follow, carrying a very tall pile of much larger parcels. He stumbles at the edge of the step, but Rarity extends her influence to steady the lot. Smiling at his helpfulness, she leads him away down the block.)
(Another wavering dissolve shifts the view to the exterior of the same shop, normally focused and in the present day. The door swings open again so Rarity can exit, this time relying on magical muscle to move some purchases and her back to transport the rest. Despite her best straining effort, the load ultimately proves too much and she goes flat in a rain of boxes and bags. Across the way, she spots Gabby and Spike seated at a table outside the Ponyville Café to enjoy a pair of ice cream sodas. The glasses clink together in a toast, and griffon and dragon slurp down their drinks through straws. Once these are gone, Gabby pulls out the cherry that had topped hers and holds it out to Spike by the stem so he can take a bite. Rarity scowls at the display of camaraderie from her prone position on the step.)
(Wavering dissolve to a softly focused close-up of her lying on a lounge chair in the Ponyville Spa, wearing a robe and with a towel wrapped around her mane. A beauty treatment is slathered into her face, and her eyes are hidden behind cucumber slices—one of which is promptly yanked away by a tongue snaking into view from o.s. The exposed eye pops open in surprise and trains itself in that direction; cut to a longer shot framing Spike on the next chair over, having already gulped it down. He too is outfitted in robe and facial treatment, and he reads a magazine as Lotus files one of his head spines and Aloe does likewise with one of Rarity’s hooves. Both customers smile over the swipe, and Rarity’s corona plucks the cucumber from her other eye and passes it over so he can eagerly continue snacking.)
(Dissolve to a normally focused close-up of Rarity receiving the same pampering in the present. She floats the slice off one eye and o.s., but hears only a plop, and sits up while moving the other one away to see what has happened. Zoom out to frame the empty chair where Spike had lain; the first slice has landed on its pillow, and she glumly lies back down and begins to munch on the second.)
(Dissolve to an extreme close-up of a length of fabric being run through her sewing machine, the occasional pin being removed by her horn-glow, and zoom out to the sound of her pitiful little moan. She is working in her upper-story workroom/living quarters within the Carousel Boutique and has donned her tinted reading glasses. A few pins drift away and o.s., sticking themselves into a pincushion in close-up, and she pauses in her sewing.)
Rarity: Could you bring the pincushion a little closer, dear? (grumpily, bringing more up) I suppose now that Spike’s always so busy with Gabby, I’m just now realizing how much his presence has meant to me over the years. (A moment’s rumination.) Even closer, darling. (The pins are driven into the cushion.) I don’t want to prick you.
(Now she restarts the machine, her aura removing one pin as she continues but leaving others in place and causing the cloth to tangle up.)
Rarity: I have to admit, everything feels a bit “less than” without him.
(The cushion is thrust into her face, balanced on a light yellow hoof.)
Rarity: Too close!
(She topples to the floor; cut to frame her lying near Fluttershy, who has been pressed into duty as her assistant. The pegasus offers her free foreleg.)
Rarity: Oh, darling, it’s no use. (She allows herself to be pulled up.) Thank you for trying. (Fluttershy sits on her haunches.) I’m just accustomed to the help of a small, highly attentive dragon.
Fluttershy: Maybe you should let Spike know how grateful you are for everything he’s done for you.
(The designer’s mouth curves into a calculating little smile. Dissolve to a long shot of the Castle and School that night, zooming in slowly, and cut to Spike asleep in his room. The curtains are drawn, the lights down, and the zoom continues toward the snoring, nightshirt/nightcap-clad dragon before the view shifts to a close-up. A single-horned shadow casts itself over his form, disturbing his slumber; he rubs and opens his eyes, then utters a cry of fear and pulls the blankets up to his nose. A longer shot establishes the intruder as Rarity, who kindles a point of light at her horn tip; she stands on the bed, hunching down toward its occupant with a half-crazed grin, and is no longer wearing her glasses.)
Rarity: Oh, I am sorry, Spike. I didn’t mean to frighten you.
Spike: (drowsily) Rarity? What are you doing here?
Rarity: (hastily, sitting on haunches) Well, I realize it’s late, or rather early— (laughing) —but I have a surprise and I just couldn’t wait to share it.
(She fishes out a brochure, unfolded to expose a map marked with photos of gem clusters.)
Rarity: The Great Gem Crevasse of the Crystal Mountains!
(Big grin; he takes it from her, climbs out of bed, and crosses the room to turn on a lamp so he can study it properly. She douses her horn at the same moment. Reptilian green eyes widen at what he finds.)
Spike: (awestruck) Whoa!
Rarity: It is only accessible once a year, and I thought a little day trip would make a wonderful thank-you for all the help you’ve given me over the years.
Spike: Oh. But…I’m supposed to meet Gabby today for her rounds.
(Rarity’s good cheer turns brittle with remarkable speed.)
Rarity: (levitating/folding brochure) I see. (crossing to door) Well, there’s always next year.
(Stuffing it into a bucket of loose gems, she makes to let herself out.)
Spike: You know what? (pulling it out) I’ll just write her a note. (Rarity wheels back to him, all smiles again.)
Rarity: Are you sure?
Spike: Absolutely!
(He climbs up onto a stool at a desk, plucks a waiting quill from its inkwell, and begins to write as Rarity claps and grins blissfully. Dissolve to a long shot of the Ponyville train station, seen from across the tracks. It is now the following day; as a train pulls in, the camera cuts to the platform and one car door opens to let Rarity and Spike out. Both are now dressed in cold-weather gear, Rarity sporting a pair of sunglasses to boot, and Spike is hauling a large backpack stuffed to bursting with gems. He sets this down with a thump once all feet and hooves are on the platform.)
Spike: Wow. Rarity, you weren’t kidding. The Gem Crevasse was amazing! I’ll be snacking on these for a week.
Rarity: What did I tell you?
Gabby: (from o.s.) Hey, Spike!
(Zoom out to frame her, standing at the ticket window and passing in a few letters.)
Spike: Gabby! (crossing to her) You won’t believe where I went today!
Gabby: Actually, I think I will. (She pulls a scroll from her pouches.) I got your scroll. The Great Gem Crevasse sounds a lot better than doing my rounds.
Spike: (nodding) Mmm-hmm.
(He doubles back, pushes the overstuffed pack closer, and undoes one flap to show off the mineral bounty within.)
Gabby: Wow! (rising briefly to hind legs) It was definitely better! (hovering) I gotta get back to Griffonstone, but you have to tell me all about the Crevasse tomorrow! (She flies off.)
Spike: Absolutely!
(He gets the pack settled on his shoulders with a grunt.)
Spike: Thanks again, Rarity. (walking off) What a great day.
(She does not answer him, having become lost in her own thoughts as she gazes after the departing griffon. A bit of magic pulls the sunglasses down slightly, and the blue eyes shift worriedly in his direction. Dissolve to the exterior of Sugarcube Corner, the adjoining stretch of road thick with market stalls/carts and customers.)
Gabby: (from o.s.) Okay.
(She and Spike swoop in side by side, both free of their respective encumbrances; Spike has also shed his winter wear.)
Gabby: Start from the beginning, because I want to hear everything!
Spike: Well, to get to the Crevasse, you have to climb across a rope bridge because the air’s too thin to fly! (He does a lazy roll; Gabby turns to face him while still flying ahead.)
Gabby: That is amazing! Then what?
(Her failure to pay attention to the road leads to a collision with Rarity when the latter tries to cross it, having done away with her own warm clothes.)
Gabby: Whoa! (Rarity falls to her haunches, briefly dazed; Gabby helps her up.)
Spike: Uh, sorry, Rarity!
Rarity: (smiling, dusting herself off) Oh, no apology necessary, Spike. In fact, I was just looking for you. (He and Gabby touch down.)
Spike: You were? Why?
Rarity: (lighting horn) Because I just acquired…these!
(“These,” brought out as she says the word, are a pair of badges clipped to lanyards that depict a pegasus in superhero attire. After a moment’s close inspection, Spike’s eyes pop and a huge grin bisects his face.)
Spike: Passes to Power-Pony-Palooza? For today? (Rarity nods with a giddy, lip-chewing little squeal.)
Rarity: I know we just went to the Crevasse, but I feel I’ve barely scratched the surface of expressing my gratitude for all you do.
(The badges settle into his hands at nearly the same instant that Gabby’s spirits sink to roughly ten feet below ground level.)
Spike: Well…of course I want to go, but… (to Gabby; she instantly perks up) …that’ll be two days in a row we haven’t hung out.
Gabby: (laughing) Are you kidding? It’s Power-Pony-Palooza. You have to go. And… (Tiny hitch of breath; she holds up two talons.) …now you’ll have two things to tell me about.
Spike: Okay! Come on, Rarity! Let’s go!
(Four legs and two wings carry them away; Gabby waves goodbye brightly, but deflates all over again and slinks off down the street once they are out of range. Dissolve to the front steps of the Castle, where Spike is slowly hauling in a cart overflowing with souvenirs from the event and wearing a few more—shirt, cap, eye mask similar to the one he wore as Humdrum in “Power Ponies.” He blows out a breath and sits on the bottommost step, massaging his feet.)
Spike: Are my claws sore!
(Here comes Rarity, tricked out in a few keepsakes of her own that include a headdress styled as the wild green coiffure of the Mane-iac, the Power Ponies’ nemesis in that same episode.)
Rarity: Indeed! I had no idea how much walking there is at a Power Pony convention.
(She sits during this line, after which Spike lifts off and circles to the rear of the cart. An effort to get it up the steps fails when the harness struts swing down far enough to catch against the edge of the first one; he drops to the turf with a groan as a squeaky toy falls out.)
Spike: I know I told Gabby we’d hang out tomorrow, but I might need the whole day to rest.
Rarity: (sighing) I know what you mean. (lifting cart in her field) Perhaps you could, uh, just send her another note.
(Muscle and magic wrangle the load up to the doors.)
Spike: (laughing) I think maybe you’re right.
Rarity: Honestly, I might need to spend tomorrow putting my hooves up as well.
(Laughing, she gives him a brief hug and departs; he pushes the cart on in, knocking one door open with its front end. Dissolve to a long shot of the Castle and School at sunrise of the following day, zooming in slowly, and cut to just inside the closed front doors. A knock brings a very sleepy, nightshirt/nightcap-clad Spike on the wing; he pulls one door open to find an equally fatigued, swag-free Rarity on the steps.)
Rarity: I hadn’t counted on Power-Pony-Palooza being quite so draining, but… (levitating a boxed game out from behind herself) …I thought we might spend the day recuperating together. (Spike grabs it, forgetting his tiredness.)
Spike: No way! Ogres and Oubliettes?
Rarity: Well, I know how much you enjoy it, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity for you to teach me the game.
(Recall that this is the role-playing game that Big Macintosh, Discord, and Spike played in “Dungeons & Discords.” Grinning broadly, Spike leads her into the entrance hall. Wipe to a long shot of the Castle and School, the doors now closed, and zoom in slowly as Gabby loops into view with a thermos bottle in hand. It is now later in the day, and she homes in on the Castle doors before the camera cuts to the hall and she opens one to peer in.)
Gabby: (voice raised, echoing slightly) Spike! I got your note! (stepping in) I figured I’d come by before my rounds with a bowl of energizing turnip soup!
(No response; she flies through the hall and along a corridor, eventually picking up the sound of distant laughter by Rarity and Spike. Cut to an extreme close-up of a shut door, the next line sounding muffled at first but then becoming clear when Gabby opens it. She is treated to the sight of a now-rested Rarity and Spike sitting at a table loaded up with game paraphernalia in the library; the little dragon has changed out of his sleepwear.)
Rarity: (dramatically) Can Princess Shmarity use her Shield of the Coiffure to defend herself from the Purveyor of Poor Color Coordination now?
Spike: (shaking dice) Uh, she can try.
(Gabby’s eyes widen in mingled shock and disappointment, but neither player takes notice of her as Spike rolls the bones behind a cardboard screen.)
Spike: (hovering briefly) Success! Shmarity’s shield holds against the green-eyed monster’s attack, and that—
Gabby: (entering) Spike?
(The interruption freezes him in his tracks for a second.)
Spike: Oh. Hi, Gabby. Uh, we were just—
Gabby: (pulling out a scroll) Your scroll said you were too tired to do anything today—but I guess you were just too tired to do anything with me!
Spike: N-No, no, no, no, that’s not true! (climbing down from stool, crossing to her) I-I can come with you on your rounds right now! (She puts out a palm to stop him.)
Gabby: I don’t think so, Spike. (thrusting thermos toward him) Maybe I’ll just handle the rounds on my own from now on!
(She lets it thump to the floor and flies off, taking the scroll with her; he picks it up and considers it dispiritedly as Rarity floats a sheet of notes off the table.)
Rarity: Ooh! Princess Shmarity uses her Prismatic Beam to change that poor monster’s color to a more pleasing shade of purple!
(By the time she finishes, the slit-pupiled green eyes look ready to uncork a flood of tears. Fade to black.)
Act Three
(Opening shot: fade in to a shelf loaded with fabrics, the camera pointing out through them and into the fabric shop Rarity visited in Act Two. She leans into view, pushing a couple of samples aside and finally exerting her telekinesis to extract one; cut to her and a down-in-the-mouth Spike holding a basket. A second specimen is brought out and held alongside the first—s single color versus a pattern of white polka dots.)
Rarity: What do you think, Spike? (indicating each in turn) Solids or prints?
Spike: (sighing heavily) Prints, I guess. You already have a lot of solid colors.
(The single-colored textile goes back on the shelf.)
Rarity: Ooh, you are so right. (dropping the dotted material in his basket) Prints it s. (They cross to the sales counter.) So nice to have you back, Spike.
(She maneuvers the whole thing up to the countertop for a unicorn mare clerk to ring up, while the little guy turns to a window in close-up and espies an equally glum Gabby plodding down the street, pouches slung up. On the next line, she pulls out her camera, aims it at her own face, and snaps a picture of herself grinning and flashing a V-for-Victory sign with her free hand.)
Rarity: (from o.s.) Although I hope you’re able to reconcile with Gabby.
(The griffon’s false cheer evaporates as she pulls the photo from its slot, tosses it down, and bags the camera before trudging away.)
Spike: I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want to.
(The tiniest of whines escapes his throat and he looks as if he might melt into a puddle of high-proof misery on the spot. Dissolve to the pair in the jewelry shop seen in Act Two; now without her basket, Rarity looks over a tray of loose gems being shown to her by the jeweler. She selects two with her aura, one at a time, and brings each down to rub against Spike’s tongue for a taste test. Receiving only an apathetic shrug, she returns them to the tray and grins apologetically to the jeweler.)
(Dissolve to the exterior of the shop she visited in that same act. The door swings open under her control so she can trot out with a bag; several seconds later, Spike emerges at a glacial pace, towing a stack of considerably larger boxes. The purchaser aims a worried frown his way as she adjusts her pace to match. Another dissolve shifts them to side-by-side lounge chairs within the Ponyville Spa; both are kitted out in robes and facial treatments, and Rarity has towels on her mane and cucumbers on her eyes. One of these is floated away and waved in front of Spike, whose lethargy does not shift even one iota even after she parks it on his eye and it slides off.)
(Dissolve to the entrance hall of the Castle, the two stepping in through an open front door and without their spa accoutrements. Twilight backs slowly into view, pulling a couch piled with full trash bags in her field.)
Rarity: I quite enjoyed our day together, Spike.
Spike: (woodenly) Yeah.
Twilight: Hi, Spike.
Spike: Uh-huh.
Twilight: (to Rarity) Hmmm. I’ve never seen Spike this sad before. (Rarity slaps on an artificial grin.) Do you know what happened?
Rarity: (clearing throat) Yes, well, perhaps he’s still just tired from Power-Pony-Palooza.
Twilight: I don’t think that’s it.
Rarity: (stretching her words out) I suppose it’s possible it could have something to do with— (under a cough) —Gabby not wanting to spend time with him anymore. (Twilight’s eyes pop.)
Twilight: What? I thought the two of them were hanging out all the time.
Rarity: They were! (floating a couch over to herself, flopping onto it) Honestly, it took everything I had to convince him to spend any time with me at all. (smiling) But between crystal gem crevasses, Power Pony conventions, and a marathon game of O-and-O, I managed to get some time in.
Twilight: (scowling) It sounds like you made sure he didn’t have any time to spend with Gabby at all.
(Now the blue eyes pop in indignant surprise.)
Rarity: What? Pfft! (sitting up, turning away, crossing forelegs) I certainly did not.
(A cocked-eyebrow gaze from the resident Princess causes her to relent a bit.)
Rarity: Well, I…suppose I may have monopolized him a teeny bit. (She sighs deeply as Twilight climbs onto the couch.) I’ve just grown so used to having Spikey-wikey around. I wasn’t prepared for how much I’d miss him when he wasn’t.
Twilight: (patting Rarity’s shoulder) Friendships change. (smiling) But just because Spike made a new friend doesn’t mean he stops being yours.
Rarity: (petulantly) I know, but now I have to share him! (gradually shifting to a smile) Which I suppose I’ll have to get used to. (Gasp.) Right after I fix this mess I’ve made!
(She is off the couch and out the door like a shot.)
Twilight: (nodding, satisfied) Good talk.
(Realizing that the intended recipient of these words has left the building, she rolls her eyes wearily and lies down with hoof to forehead. Wipe to the post office, whose window is open for business and staffed by Derpy; she passes a batch of letters to Gabby, who slips them into one of her pouches with a heavy sigh. She turns to leave; cut to just outside the closed door as she opens it and steps out. A blip of record static brings her up short, issuing from a phonograph held aloft by a most contrite Rarity on her hocks. Scattered around the mare are various items from her activities with Spike; the melodramatic music from her Act One visit to the post office begins to play.)
Gabby: Rarity, is all this stuff for Spike again? (turning away huffily) Wouldn’t it be easier to just give it to him? And why are you even here?
Rarity: (throwing phonograph aside; music stops; sheep’s alarmed bleat from o.s.) I am here to apologize, actually, more to confess. And all of this stuff isn’t for Spike. (overwrought) It’s the evidence against me!
Gabby: (puzzled, turning to her) Evidence? For what?
Rarity: (standing) For my acts of utter selfishness!
Gabby: I don’t understand.
Rarity: (leaning toward her, pushing a hoof-load into her chest) These are the items I used to lure Spike into spending as much time with me as possible!
Gabby: They are? (pushing her back) You did?
Spike: (from o.s.) Rarity?
(Cut to him, walking up and carrying an ice cream cone.)
Spike: What are you doing?
Rarity: (calmly) Well, obviously I’m apologizing to Gabby so the two of you can renew your friendship, Spike. (to Gabby, melodramatically) Now, please, even if you can’t forgive me, you simply must forgive—
(Once her brain fully registers his presence, her performance comes to a grinding halt in the form of a huge gasp, and she drops all the goodies she holds.)
Rarity: Spike?!? (composing herself) Oh, I actually owe you an apology too.
Gabby: You apologize a lot. (Rarity sighs as Spike gulps down his cone. Zoom in slowly.)
Rarity: I wish I didn’t need to, but the more time you two spent together, the more I missed my time with Spike— (gathering up a few comics) —and the more I used every means at my disposal to get it back. I am truly sorry. (Spike gently pats her foreleg; close-up of the two.)
Spike: You really missed spending time with me?
Rarity: (dropping comics) Oh, of course!
Gabby: (from o.s.) I have to say— (All three again; she is addressing Spike.) —after not hanging out with you, I understand why. (beaming) You’re kinda awesome! (Rarity flinches; she continues calmly.) And…I know what it’s like to miss that now, too.
Spike: So…do you think maybe we could start hanging out again?
Gabby: Absolutely!
Spike: (blushing, scuffing a foot against the ground) I don’t suppose you’d like some company on your rounds right now?
Gabby: I sure would!
Rarity: Wonderful! (Close-up.) I can’t tell you how pleased I am that the two of you have—
(Words fail her in time with a cut to an overhead shot of the area; the two flyers have lifted off together and are flapping away. Back to ground level.)
Rarity: (laughing) —reconciled.
(She walks away. Dissolve to a close-up of a section of wall in the gem cavern, a pick chipping at the stone under her influence, and zoom out to frame her on the start of the next line. She is wearing a new mining outfit in shades of light/medium pink and blue: sun hat with headlamp and band tied in a large bow, blouse, shorts, neck scarf patterned with white diamonds. The next five lines are delivered in hushed tones.)
Rarity: I suppose Twilight is right. (She floats a stone free.) Friendships do change.
(It is directed back over her shoulder and o.s., but the near-simultaneous sounds of its fracture and bats’ chittering cause her to wince in fear.)
Rarity: (chiseling another one out) Of course, Spike and I will always be friends— (setting pick down) —and I can get used to sharing him.
(She propels this one behind herself after a lick, only to hear a string of nervous yelps from the direction. Pan to follow her glance across the cavern; here stands Pinkie Pie, headlamp-fitted hard hat over the magenta curls and a small basket of gems sitting nearby. She is up on her hind legs and bobbling this one back and forth, finally throwing herself onto her belly to catch it just short of the ground.)
Pinkie: Sorry. I just didn’t want to drop another one and wake the bats.
Rarity: (crossing to her, levitating basket) Darling, catching the gems is what the basket is for.
(This shot picks out the yellow edging on the sleeve cuffs of her blouse.)
Spike: (from o.s.) Wow. You two need to be a lot quieter.
(Cut to him, jumbo basket slung on back, headlamp strapped to forehead, and sliding down a rope that hangs down from the edge of a hole in the ceiling. He and Rarity approach one another, returning to normal speaking volume.)
Rarity: Spike! How wonderful to see you! (They embrace.)
Spike: Yeah. Gabby and I had a great day— (clasping her hoof) —but I’ll always still want my Rarity time.
(Her power brings the pick up from the floor, knocks a gem loose with one strike, and drops it into his basket. Now Pinkie hangs upside down into view from above.)
Pinkie: (slyly) Ohhh, so that’s how it works!
(All three trail off into a cacophony of shrill cries and screams as the bats wake up and swarm across the screen.)
Pinkie: The bats! Get outta here!
(Wipe to black behind them.)
A HORSE SHOE-IN
Written by Ariel Shepherd-Oppenheim
Produced by Devon Cody
Story editing by Josh Haber
Supervising direction by Jim Miller
Directed by Denny Lu, Mike Myhre
Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)
Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to the exterior of the School of Friendship during the day and zoom in slowly. On the start of the following line, cut to Starlight Glimmer seated at the desk in her office, hovering a watering can to irrigate a potted plant that sits before her.)
Starlight: I think you really spruce up the office, Miss Philodendron. (Gasp; set it down.) Oh! I’m gonna call you Phyllis! (baby talk, patting it) Don’t you look good, Phyllis? (A knock; she continues in this vein.) Come in!
(She catches herself with a hasty cough at the sound of the doors opening and steps out from behind the desk. This shot reveals that she has replaced the office’s couch with a couple of low-slung armchairs.)
Starlight: I mean, uh, come in! (Twilight Sparkle and Spike enter.)
Spike: Uh, were you just talking to someone? (Starlight’s magic slides Phyllis to the opposite end of the desk.)
Starlight: No. Why? (Nervous laugh.)
Twilight: Starlight, I have something very important to discuss with you.
Starlight: If this is about leaving early yesterday, I didn’t have any students on my schedule— (sitting on haunches, then standing again) —and Trixie was having a magical emergency which actually turned out to be nothing s—
(She adds quotation marks with her hooves on “magical emergency,” then gets the end of her explanation cut off by a bubbly giggle from the headmare.)
Twilight: It’s not anything like that!
(Her number-one assistant steps forth, producing a scroll from behind his back and opening it to unfurl several feet of parchment.)
Spike: (clearing throat, reading) “Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship, in light of her impending ascension to the throne of Equestria, and in anticipation of her many duties and responsibilities forthwith, does hereby intend to make good on her previous offer to you, Starlight Glimmer, of replacing her as headmare of the School of Friendship.”
(By the time he finishes, he has reeled through the entire length of the document and piled it up on the floor. Starlight’s eyes pop as the full import of this declaration settles in.)
Twilight: I want you to take over the School when I move to Canterlot.
Starlight: I know! (Flop to haunches.) It’s just so… (pulling cheeks back into a smile) …amazing! (Stand.) I’m a little…do you think I’m really up for it? Of course you do. I’ve covered for you every time you’ve had to run off and save Equestria, but… (To haunches again, stretching cheeks.) …I mean, yes, of course! Thank you!
(The torrent of verbiage leaves Twilight so far off balance that she is completely unprepared to get hit with a flying, squealing tackle-hug by the unicorn. Spike gets swept into it with just as much warning, Starlight gripping him and Twilight strongly enough to nearly pop their eyeballs from the sockets.)
Twilight: (strangled) You’re welcome, and I can’t think of anypony who’d be better for the job! (Starlight lets go.)
Starlight: I’m a little nervous, and excited, and mostly just nervous. (All three straighten up; Spike gathers the scroll and carries it o.s.)
Twilight: I understand. Of course I’ll have lot of important responsibilities as ruler of Equestria, but I’ll always be available to help whenever you need.
(The end of this sentence overlaps with a heave from Spike’s gut; pan slightly to frame him belching up a scroll, which he catches and opens. After a bit of silent reading, he raises his eyes to Twilight.)
Spike: Are you supposed to be at a royal etiquette lesson with Celestia and Luna right now?
Twilight: (stunned) Right! Uh, can’t underestimate the important responsibility of royal napkin placement!
(She teleports away, Spike departs, and Starlight crosses to her desk.)
Starlight: Wow. (leaning against it) I mean, no biggie, right, Phyllis? (stretching forelegs, knocking it off) I’ve totally got this.
(The smash of ceramic against floor takes a second or two to filter into her mind, the camera panning/tilting down to show the new mess. Starlight offers an embarrassed little laugh, and the view fades to black.)
OPENING THEME
Act One
(Opening shot: fade in to Starlight and Trixie walking along a corridor within the School, the blue mare without her trademark hat and cape.)
Trixie: You know I’m nothing but proud that you’ve been officially offered the position of headmare. (She stops; Starlight continues on.)
Starlight: (uncertainly) Thanks? (Trixie moves again, but stops as she continues.)
Trixie: But I can’t help wondering if it’s gonna cut into our social schedule.
(The pinkish-violet legs lock up.)
Starlight: What do you mean?
Trixie: (catching up; Starlight starts to walk again) Take now, for example. Instead of heading to the delightful lunch I had planned, we’re striding with determination toward what I can only assume is Twilight’s office. (Both stop.)
Starlight: (sitting on haunches) Obviously our lunch is super-important, but so is taking over the School. And the only pony who’s really run the School of Friendship is the Princess of Friendship. (Stand.) And I’m worried about doing it all alone, so I want to get as much advice from Twilight as I can while she’s still here. (She starts walking.)
Trixie: But Twilight’s never really done anything alone. She always has her friends.
(The moving mare stops short and turns back to her with a smile.)
Starlight: But that just gave me an idea! Thanks, Trixie! You can give good advice when you don’t mean to. (Off she goes with renewed vigor.)
Trixie: (bewildered) Uh, thanks? (calling after her) Are we still doing lunch?
(Cut to Twilight sitting at the desk in her office. A stack of napkins rests within easy reach, and she is intently folding one this way and that with her magic. It eventually assumes an ornate three-dimensional shape, but comes undone almost as soon as she sets it down. A frustrated grimace comes over her face as the sound of the opening door drifts to her and Starlight steps in.)
Twilight: Getting royal place settings just right is a lot harder than it looks. (She starts fiddling with the napkin again.)
Starlight: Okay! Uh, I know how busy you are, but I wanted to talk to you about running the School because honestly, I was a bit worried about taking it over all on my own. But I just realized, you never did it alone.
Twilight: (setting napkin down; it unfolds again) Having a friend help out is pretty great.
(Seeing her friend’s displeasure at another failed folding effort, Starlight kick-starts her own horn. Close-up of the napkin as her spell connects and folds it into a bird shape.)
Starlight: (from o.s.) Exactly! (Back to her and Twilight.) So…what do you think about me hiring a vice-headmare to help run things?
Twilight: I trust you to run the School any way you want. And if that means hiring a vice-headmare, I think it’s a great idea.
Starlight: Really?
Twilight: Like you said, I’ve always had ponies around to help. And don’t worry. You can always call on me to—
(In walks Spike, no longer dragging around either of the scrolls he dealt with in the prologue.)
Spike: Uh, Twilight? Uh, Rarity says you were supposed to be at the boutique five minutes ago for your second fitting for the coronation gown.
Twilight: Ugh! How many fittings are there gonna be?
Spike: (shrugging) A lot?
Twilight: (to Starlight, stepping out from desk) Anyway, good luck finding your vice-headmare. (touching her shoulder) I know you’ll pick the right pony for the job.
(She teleports away, and Starlight makes to follow Spike out of the office but stops when Trixie puts her head in.)
Trixie: Wow. (stepping in) I heard the whole thing, and all I can say is, “I am humbled.”
Starlight: Uh, why?
Trixie: I hadn’t ever considered it, but hearing you say it out loud made me realize what a great and powerful vice-headmare I’ll be! (Sidle up to Starlight; throw a foreleg around shoulders.) Plus, we get to work and socialize at the same time!
Starlight: (with a humoring smile) Uh, well, sure, that would be fun, but— (Pull free.) —I can’t just give you the job.
Trixie: (dropping to haunches, playing it off) Oh! Oh, oh, no. Of course not. I imagine there’s a lengthy process to go through before you inevitably hire the best pony for the position. Wink.
(Accompanied by hoof quotation marks on “process” and “best pony,” and capped off with a wink on the last word.)
Starlight: Exactly. I’ll probably interview several ponies. (Trixie stands up.)
Trixie: Of course. (slyly) Several. (Finish with a…) Wink.
Starlight: Why do you keep saying “wink”? (Trixie sits again.)
Trixie: I’m not saying “wink.” (Another…) Wink.
(This one is met by an uneasy little laugh from the headmare-to-be. Dissolve to an overhead shot of her in the entrance hall, facing a line of five ponies: Spoiled Rich, Doctor Whooves in a white shirt collar and green bow tie, Octavia, Big Macintosh, and Trixie in her hat and cape. Standing by Starlight is a chart on an easel, which shows a triangle divided into three horizontal bands of different colors. On the next line, cut to a slow pan across the quintet.)
Starlight: I’m glad you all decided to be part of the search for the School of Friendship’s vice-headmare.
Spoiled: (stepping forward) Honestly, if you’re looking for somepony to fund-raise, I can bring in enough bits to have several buildings named after me.
Starlight: (scratching back of head) Well, that’s not the primary responsibility of the vice-headmare. (smiling) But a-anypony is welcome to apply. I think the selection process I’ve come up with is pretty special. (Zoom in on Trixie.)
Trixie: (whispering loudly) Albeit unnecessary. (She adds a…) Wink!
Starlight: (clearing throat impatiently) Since you all have to prove you have what it takes to be vice-headmare, I’ve designed the interview in three stages.
(A pointer rod drifts up under her control to indicate the bottommost zone of the triangle.)
Starlight: Each stage will test a different skill the vice-headmare needs.
(Close-up of the sheet, tilting slowly up as each portion is tapped.)
Starlight: (from o.s.) Only those who do well will move through the stages until finally the best candidate rises to the top. (Back to the group.) So… (Banish the pointer.) …without further ado, it’s time for Stage One—substituting for the teachers.
(Pan slowly down the line of candidates, who murmur among themselves with varied degrees of anticipation and apprehension, and stop on Trixie at one end.)
Trixie: Once the students get a sample of my great and powerful instruction, they might not want to go back to the regular faculty.
(An irked eye roll from Macintosh, her neighbor, followed by a long groan from Starlight. The chart drifts past the camera in close-up; behind it, the view wipes to Starlight looking in through the open doorway of Rarity’s classroom with a clipboard and pencil in her aura. Macintosh hunches down on the central raised platform, assiduously stitching a length of fabric with a mouth-held needle, as the designer and several students watch—including a seated Ocellus. A tug at the thread snaps it, and the broad red stallion lets the needle drop as the changeling leans in to see what he has wrought.)
Ocellus: Wow! That seam is so straight! (standing) You really learned how to sew from mending apple sacks on the farm?
Macintosh: Ee-yup!
(Satisfied, Starlight jots a note and moves on. Wipe to her approaching the open doors of the gym; Spoiled stands at the center of the floor to address a class.)
Spoiled: Obviously loyalty is the foundation of friendship and trust.
(Inside, Rainbow Dash hovers over a gathering that includes Yona.)
Spoiled: But nothing gets more loyalty than a big stack of bits. (holding up a book) This book on business will teach you all how to earn your own. (She opens it.) Chapter One—Equity.
(Unnerved by the display of snobbish avarice, Starlight backs out of view while writing at her clipboard. Wipe to her on the move through a corridor; she breaks into a gallop upon hearing the strains of an orchestral melody and is soon at the doorway of Pinkie Pie’s classroom. Here, Octavia is playing her cello and leading a group of laughing students—including Silverstream on saxophone—through a lively rehearsal. Everything proceeds normally until Pinkie pops up in the back row and uncorks a room-shaking blast from the yovidaphone she tried to master in “Yakity-Sax.” Octavia loses hold of her bow, but flips her cello onto its side and begins to play it like a bass guitar, missing not a single beat and drawing appreciative laughs from the young musicians. A pleased Starlight takes notes and backs off from the doorway.)
(Wipe to Fluttershy’s classroom; she and several of her students, including Sandbar, observe as Whooves finishes setting up an experiment on the front desk. He has donned a lab coat and a pair of safety goggles, and Starlight keeps an eye on things from the balcony. A Bunsen burner heats a flask of liquid, causing it to boil and generate vapor that runs through a tube to inflate a balloon attached to the free end. This grows large enough to tip a board on which an electric fan rests, turning it on so that it spins a pinwheel standing upright in a flowerpot. Wedged among the vanes is a ball, which falls loose in the rotation and lands on the grips of an open pair of scissors. The blades snap together, cutting a string that holds one end of a pivoting rod in place; the other end supports a small weight hanging from a rope that is looped around the handles of a pair of pliers. With the string gone and the rod free to turn, the weight descends and the tension in its rope forces the handles together, squeezing the rubber bulb of an eyedropper held in the pliers’ jaws. It dispenses a drop of liquid neatly into the mouth of a baby bird in a nest, drawing a round of awed murmurs and enthusiastic applause from the students. Fluttershy directs a smiling nod to Starlight, who makes a note of the proceedings.)
(Wipe to yet another classroom whose attendees include Gallus. Trixie lounges behind the front desk, bored half out of her mind as she holds an open book at eye level in her corona. She is wearing her hat, but not her cape.)
Trixie: In the pre-Equestria era, year thirteen-twenty-two, Abraxias the Bold did… (mumbling, flipping ahead) …ooh, a bunch of boring stuff… (Again.) …for a really long time. (Close the book.) Okay, I know history’s important— (Float it away.) —but I never learned any of it, and look how I turned out.
(Unenthused mumbles from the class; pan slowly across the desks, Gallus having fallen asleep at his, then cut back to the substitute teacher as an idea occurs to her. A dissolve shifts the view to Starlight walking into the room; she stops short at the sound of many young voices mumbling in their sleep, and a shot of the whole area informs her that the entire class has dozed off. Trixie, lying atop the front desk on her back, wakes up from her own nap.)
Trixie: (hushed, winking) Wiiiiink!
(And she is off to dreamland again; Starlight voices an annoyed grunt and writes on her clipboard. Wipe to a close-up of the triangle chart, now set up in her office and with photos of Macintosh, Octavia, and Whooves attached to its middle zone, and zoom out. Starlight is seated at her desk with clipboard/pencil put away, Phyllis has been re-potted, and the chart is off to one side.)
Starlight: Okay, Phyllis. Obviously those three are moving on.
(Close-up of two other snaps on the desk—Spoiled and Trixie.)
Starlight: (from o.s.) But what about the rest? (Spoiled’s picture floats up; back to her, turning it to face Phyllis.) Mmm-hmm. I think we’re in agreement on this one.
(It is deposited in a file folder marked with a red circle-and-slash, and the photo of Trixie rises next, drawing an apprehensive sigh from the soon-to-be-former guidance counselor.)
Starlight: I know what you’re gonna say, but it would be so much fun to have my vice-headmare be a friend! (Tentative smile.) She just needs a little more hoof-holding that some of the others, but i-i-it could still work out. (Smile fades.) Right?
(The plant offers no verbal response as the doors open to admit Trixie, wearing neither hat nor cape.)
Trixie: (crossing to desk) Starlight, I’ve given this a lot of thought. And even though I still believe naps are a valid use of class time, you’ll be the one running the School. So if you say “no naps,” then no naps. And I know I can be a little stubborn and not the best listener— (leaning across desk) —but I just can’t wait for us to tackle this job as a team. Two great and powerful friends taking on the world! And I know you still have to go through all this interview stuff— (She adds a…) —wink!—but I just had to tell you how excited I am!
(Hoof quotation marks on “interview stuff”; she caps off the monologue by trotting excitedly out of the office and magically pulling the doors shut.)
Starlight: (smiling weakly, floating up the photo) See? I told you it could work.
(She sticks it crookedly to one side of the three definite contenders, but Phyllis’ assessment consists of shedding one leaf. Starlight groans softly, and the view fades to black.)
Act Two
(Opening shot: fade in to Starlight addressing the remaining four candidates in the entrance hall. Octavia no longer has her cello with her, Trixie is in her hat and cape, and Whooves has shed his lab coat and goggles.)
Starlight: All right, remaining vice-headmare candidates. Welcome to Stage Two. (Slow pan across them; she continues o.s.) All of you are here because you performed well— (Stop on Trixie.) —or well enough—
(The blue mare grimaces at this addendum; back to Starlight.)
Starlight: —to face your next challenge—parent-teacher conferences! (trotting out past them) The vice-headmare will need to be a master communicator, and I can’t think of a better test of that than meeting with our students and their parents or guardians. (They follow her; profile close-up of Whooves.)
Whooves: I eagerly look forward to sharing my love of science with both progeny and progenitors. (Pan to Octavia.)
Octavia: Indeed. An orchestra is made up of different parts, and good communication is the key to harmony. (To Macintosh.)
Macintosh: Ee-yup. (Cut to Trixie, who has stopped.)
Trixie: A lifetime onstage has taught me that good communication is essential to holding your audience’s attention— (full ham mode, spreading cape wide on hind legs) —which is why Trixie is also known as a great and powerful communicator.
(It takes her a moment to figure out that the rest of the group has left the entrance hall and move after them, a sour look taking hold on her face. Dissolve to the library, the camera positioned to frame Octavia addressing Ocellus and her parents in one corner, and Macintosh with Silverstream and her father Skybeak in another. The heads of Yona’s parents are visible at a third corner in the foreground, and Starlight keeps an eye on the proceedings with clipboard and pencil at the ready.)
Octavia: Life at the School of Friendship is like a song. (Close-up of her group.) And although she started out singing her part pianissimo, Ocellus is now soloing fortissimo.
Ocellus’s father: That’s good, right?
Octavia: (laughing) Indeed.
(Pleased looks pass between all three changelings; on the start of the next line, pan to the table where Yona’s family is seated. The young yak is with them, and Whooves is in charge of this particular meeting.)
Whooves: The science curriculum at the School is somewhat lacking, but Yona has taken to the subject like a yak to smashing. (He thumps a hoof on the table to emphasize this last, then stands up to his hind legs.) If fostered, I believe she could easily blaze a trail and expand our understanding of science itself.
Yona’s parents: (standing on hind legs) Yaks best! Yaks best! Yaks best!
(Cut to Starlight on the second repetition, the pencil doing its thing, then back for the third as they toss Yona upward and catch her. Next, the camera follows the mare as she crosses to another table—Trixie seated with Gallus and old Gruff.)
Trixie: Gallus is a fantastic student. (hushed) He’s even taught me a thing or two about napping.
Gruff: (yawning) Is that why you’re puttin’ me to sleep?
Trixie: (needled, normal volume) Um, excuse me?
Gruff: I don’t know why I have to come to these things.
Trixie: Well, most parents or guardians want to be involved in our students’ lives! (leaning across table) Maybe we should find a different representative from Griffonstone to be Gallus’s guardian! (Gruff copies the gesture.)
Gruff: Oh, that’d be great. If you find one, LET ME KNOW!!
(The illusionist has to grab at her hat to keep it from being blown off by the force of these last three words. Cut to a badly rattled Starlight, who starts toward the group but stops short at the sound of the next voice.)
Skybeak: (from o.s.) I’m so confused.
(Pan to him, Macintosh, and Silverstream; he is addressing the workhorse.)
Skybeak: You’re saying Silverstream is exuberant?
Macintosh: (nodding) Ee-yup.
Skybeak: And enthusiastic?
Macintosh: (with very slight hesitation) Ee-yup.
Skybeak: But aren’t those the same? (Macintosh has no immediate response.) And are they good? I mean, you could be trying to tell me she’s unfocused, but then you might just be explaining that you appreciate her high energy. (A grinning wave from his daughter.)
Macintosh: (sweating, stammering badly) Nope…uh, yup…uh, maybe?
Skybeak: Uh, there seems to be a lot of nuance here, and I just want to make sure I understand exactly what you’re saying. So what are you saying?
Macintosh: Uh…
(Now good and scared, he waves to get Starlight’s attention; she starts toward him, but freezes at Gruff’s next words. On the start of the next line, pan to the acrimonious face-off between him and Trixie, Gallus’s facial expression suggesting a wish to disappear forever into the loaded bookshelves.)
Gruff: Gallus doesn’t need to know I’m proud of him, and he certainly doesn’t need me trekking all the way to Ponyville!
Trixie: Good, because you’re no longer welcome!
Gruff: Oh, well, fine with me!
(He wheels away from the table and takes flight as Starlight crosses to Trixie, no longer toting her pencil and clipboard.)
Starlight: Trixie, what happened?
Trixie: I’m not sure. (smugly) But we’ll have one less conference to worry about next semester.
(Zoom in on Starlight, who claps a disbelieving hoof to her face and pulls it all the way down to her chin, the skin and muscles snapping back to form an irritated scowl. From here, dissolve to her behind the desk in her office and zoom in slowly. Macintosh sits facing her in one of the low armchairs.)
Starlight: I really appreciate your honesty, Big Mac, and you’re right. Parents expect a lot of detailed communication when it comes to their kids. And if you aren’t comfortable with that, vice-headmare probably isn’t a job for you.
Macintosh: Yeah, nope.
(The two shake hooves with a smile to indicate no hard feelings, and he stands up from the chair and heads for the exit. Starlight plies her field to detach his photo from her chart and drop it into the “rejected” file where she consigned Spoiled’s image in Act One. Now Trixie opens the doors, bare of hat and cape.)
Trixie: (trotting in; doors close behind her) Starlight, I know why you wanted to see me, and you don’t have to worry.
Starlight: Uh, good! (Trixie sits in one of the chairs.)
Trixie: (levitating photos out of the reject folder) It’s thoughtful that you’d want to check in on me after my shocking confrontation with Grandpa Gruff, but never fear. I shall recover.
Starlight: (shifting them back in) Trixie, that’s not exactly what I wanted to talk to you about. You can’t get into a shouting match with parents or guardians. For the final stage of the interview process, you’ll each have to put together a field trip. And if you really do want the job, I need yours to be exceptional— (floating Trixie’s picture off the chart) —because if I had to pick a vice-headmare right now— (resting it on folder) —it wouldn’t be you.
Trixie: (smiling knowingly) Oh, I see what you’re doing. Obviously you’re not gonna give the job to somepony else, but you want to see my best. Well, message received! (She leans in with a…) Wink.
(…and then backs off as Starlight lets go with a loud, fed-up groan.)
Starlight: Trixie, I—
(She gets no further before the one-mare ego trip is up on her desk, clad in hat and cape.)
Trixie: (full ham mode) The Great and Powerful Trixie is about to pull out all the stops!
(Punctuated by an expansive gesture that knocks Phyllis off the desk; only a last-second telekinetic grab by Starlight reels the plant in and sets it down out of reach.)
Trixie: (poking Starlight’s nose) I hope you’re ready for the most exceptional field trip to ever grace this school!
(A smoke bomb hovers out of an inside pocket under her control and is dashed against the desk, sending up a dense blue-violet cloud that dissipates well before she can crawl down to the floor and slink away.)
Starlight: (to Phyllis) Is it wrong for me to think she might actually pull it off? (No response; she moans sadly and slumps down, chin on desk.) Don’t answer that.
(Dissolve to an auditorium filled with murmuring students, seen from a balcony level. Octavia stands before the closed curtains, cello and bow in hoof, and Starlight picks her way through the floor-level seats with clipboard/pencil in her magical grip. Zoom in slowly and cut to Gallus, who yawns expansively and gets a dirty look from the nearest mare.)
Starlight: Not looking forward to the performance?
Gallus: (resting chin on talons) I know Octavia loves music, but a field trip to a classical music performance isn’t my idea of an exciting time.
(Octavia poises her bow over the strings as the lights abruptly come down and the curtains are reeled back to expose three new elements. Two of these are a stool and music stand; the third is DJ P0N-3, stationed at a set of turntables amid a formidable range of speakers. The earth pony shoots a calculating glance to the unicorn, who nods and pushes a pair of slider controls up to maximum, and fluid cello lines merge with thundering synthesizer chords and percussion rhythms as the show begins in earnest. A multicolored light show plays over them both, sending a pulse of intense pink energy over the audience and prompting wild cheers and applause. Even Gallus finds himself unable to tear his eyes away, Starlight smirking from her vantage point behind him. Strings and records and electronics are all brought to bear.)
Gallus: (grinning) Okay, I take it back.
(He starts pumping a taloned fist to the beat. Wipe to Whooves leading Starlight and a delegation of students, one of whom is Smolder, through his laboratory as seen in “Slice of Life.” The dragon starts out hovering, but touches down on the next line.)
Whooves: When I heard we’d be arranging field trips, I knew right away I wanted to take you all to my lab. I can think of no better trip than one through the quantum field.
(The audience finds itself hopelessly lost.)
Whooves: (holding up a clock) I am referring to time travel. (Big grin; Starlight cringes and he drops it.) I’ve been working on a temporal transportation device!
(A few trotting steps bring him to something covered with a large tarp. Grabbing a mouthful of cloth, he yanks this away to expose an ordinary wooden chair that has had quite a few not-so-ordinary accessories taped on. A clock on the front legs; perforated ladles to serve as arms, one with an attached kitchen timer: teapot and coffee mugs on the top corners of the back; canister vacuum cleaner standing behind the lot, with a taped-on jar of liquid from which an armature extends with an upside-down colander—a helmet for whatever poor sap might choose to sit here. The group’s response is considerably less than animated.)
Smolder: A chair? (Whooves tosses the tarp away and motions for her to sit.)
Whooves: (checking a pocket watch full of gears) And three…four…five…congratulations! You are now five seconds into the future! (holding it up, foreleg across her shoulders) You see, we are all already time travelers, hm? Who’s next?
(Long, uneasy silence.)
Smolder: Uh, now what?
Whooves: (deflating) Oh. I hadn’t actually thought that much beyond this.
(The dragon voices an exasperated groan, and a less-than-amused Starlight lets her pencil do the talking across her board. Wipe to the classroom in which Trixie turned a history lesson into a group nap; Starlight stands at the back, and Yona has replaced Gallus among the pupils. A great blast of blue-violet smoke erupts from the front desk and clears to present Trixie standing atop it, coughing madly to air out her lungs and then clearing her throat.)
Trixie: Ponies and other students, welcome to the greatest and most powerful field trip of your lives!
Yona: Where Yona and friends going?
Trixie: I am thrilled you asked, because today we’re not doing a normal old boring field trip where you go somewhere.
Yona: So…not field trip. (Slow pan.)
Trixie: Au contraire. I could have easily taken you to Froggy Bottom Bog— (sitting on haunches) —but we don’t need to leave the comfort of the classroom for our field trip. (Stand again.) I can bring the field trip to us!
(A flare from her horn causes a small tract of swampland to materialize directly above her head and crash down, covering the entire front end of the classroom. She remains untouched by the resulting splatter of muck due to a spherical force field she has erected around herself, and she dispels this in time with a round of delighted gasps and murmurs. A hanging beehive is knocked loose by her head when she takes a bow; this lands on a mossy stone and fractures, and a most unfriendly yellow glow kindles within. Trixie aims a questioning glance toward the spot, but her eyes widen in brain-freezing fear as the source emerges—a blue/white/yellow-crackling swarm of very angry flash bees, which waste no time in chasing her off the desk.)
Starlight: (dropping clipboard/pencil) Trixie, what did you do?! (Trixie peeks out from behind a tree.)
Trixie: Well, I found the perfect little patch of bog to teleport into the School.
(She ducks to avoid the bees’ lunge, which chars a large hole in the bark.)
Trixie: I guess I just didn’t consider the possibility that a hive of flash bees might have nested there!
(One buzzes into the foreground and unleashes a sting whose high voltage fills the screen with its blinding white intensity. Snap to black.)
Act Three
(Opening shot: fade in to the upper reaches of the transported bog area as the flash bees surge into view, then cut to a long shot of the classroom. They split up to harass as many students as possible, sending them into a screaming, fleeing panic; Starlight just stares, paralyzed with fear, but Trixie jumps down to a clear patch of floor. Any thoughts of making a stand go bye-bye when a few dozen of the pests charge her, eliciting several yelps and leaving her coat and clothing badly scuffed and her mane frazzled and charred.)
Trixie: Who told you bees to nest in my patch of field trip bog?
(She pulls a smoke bomb from an inside pocket on the end of this and lets fly, followed by a magically propelled second, but stops with a third in hoof as the fumes boil toward her. The flash bees’ discharges have turned them into an out-of-control thunderhead, and the students race out the door to keep ahead of it. Starlight and Trixie are the only two left in the place.)
Starlight: Trixie, go with the students. I’ll handle this.
Trixie: I was only trying to give them an exceptional field trip experience— (smiling) —which you have to admit I did. (Both mares yell and dodge the swarm’s next rush.)
Starlight: We’ll talk about it later!
(Trixie pelts toward the door, while Starlight holds her ground and cranks off a spell whose power whites out the screen. Fade in to a close-up of the broken hive, tendrils of black smoke wafting up from the interior, then cut here and there to various spots of the ruined classroom. After a cautious peek in to make sure the coast is clear, Trixie re-enters.)
Trixie: Um, Starlight?
(The pinkish-violet mare sits up to her haunches, smeared with tree sap and sporting plenty of charred spots all over her own coat/mane/tail, and throws off the remains of a desk and stool. The icy set of her features says more than any words could.)
Trixie: Hey there. So, um…they’re gone?
Starlight: Yes.
Trixie: Nice teamwork! Am I right?
Starlight: (voice trembling with rage) Are you kidding? (standing, backing her down) I don’t know what team you’re on, but it isn’t mine. (Trixie stumbles and lands sitting on a rock.) This was a disaster, it was dangerous—
Trixie: I think the words you’re looking for are “great and powerful.”
(Hoof quotation marks on these last three, after which Starlight completely blows her top.)
Starlight: It wasn’t even acceptable! You went from not taking it seriously to blowing things so out of proportion, you put everycreature in danger! And I wanted to work with a friend so much, I ignored the fact that you would never be right for the job!
Trixie: I’m confused. What are you saying? (Cut to Starlight.)
Starlight: I’m saying you’ll never be vice-headmare!
Trixie: (from o.s.) But— (Cut to her.) —but I thought you created the position for me.
Starlight: Why would you think that?! (leaning into Trixie’s face) I created the position because I need help! But I can’t think of any way that you would ever help me! (She turns away; Trixie stands up.)
Trixie: Twilight’s friends always helped her.
Starlight: (laughing sourly) Oh, that’s because Twilight’s friends are competent! They care about what they’re doing, and they know how to do it!
(Stomp for emphasis on this last, sending a jolt of real hurt into the conceited unicorn’s mind.)
Trixie: (crossing to door) Well, I guess I won’t take up any more of your time, Headmare Starlight.
(Out in the corridor, she races away to keep the approaching Twilight from seeing the tears that have pooled in her violet eyes. The Princes reaches the door just in time to see a large gobbet of mud fall from the ceiling and land squarely on Starlight’s head, sending her down to her haunches.)
Twilight: Starlight? (stepping in) I just thought I’d check in to see how the search for a vice-headmare was going.
(Without even the slightest hint of visible effort, she casts a spell whose white glare fills the screen. The view clears to present a close-up of a fully cleaned Starlight, who hesitantly swivels her head this way and that with a relieved smile. On the start of the next line, zoom out to frame the entire classroom, which is now back in order and entirely free of flash bees, bog muck, and any other bits of non-standard-issue wildlife and habitat.)
Starlight: A lot better now.
Twilight: (puzzled) Okay? (Cut to just outside one window.)
Starlight: (sitting at sill, head on hooves) I really wanted it to be a friend, so I ended up pushing aside some pretty big signs that it wasn’t gonna work out. (Inside again.)
Twilight: Not everypony is right for every job. (She sits by Starlight.) But everypony has something to contribute. (Rest a hoof on the unicorn’s back.) The trick is figuring out what. (Outside the window.)
Starlight: What if you and your friend can’t figure it out?
Twilight: If you have a job to do, you have to decide what’s best and be upfront and honest, even if that means you can’t work with a friend on it. (Inside; she allows herself a hint of a smirk and a cocked eyebrow.)
Starlight: Soooo…I guess that means talking to them at the beginning, instead of stringing them along until you get so frustrated you totally lose it and say a bunch of really awful things?
Twilight: Pretty much.
(Starlight can manage nothing beyond a defeated sigh. Dissolve to her approaching Trixie’s wagon, parked outside the Castle of Friendship; she knocks on the swing-out windows at the front end, whose curtains are partly open.)
Starlight: Trixie? I know you’re in there.
Trixie: (from within, muffled by door) Well, you’re wrong!
(Her magic jerks the curtain shut; the visitor circles to an open side window as three things issue from inside—a clatter of glassware, a cloud of purple smoke, and a violent coughing fit.)
Starlight: I’m sorry for all those things I said. I just really wanted it to work out, even though I knew it probably wouldn’t. I should’ve said something sooner.
Trixie: (from within, very snippy) Obviously we can’t have what we want— (A hoof pokes over the sill.) —because I’m terrible at everything and could never help you with anything. (The appendage is withdrawn.)
Starlight: You aren’t terrible, and you have a lot of great qualities—maybe not vice-headmare qualities, but “great and powerful friend” qualities.
(Trixie’s aura opens the front-end windows and unfolds a step for Starlight’s use; cut to the dim interior of the wagon, the itinerant performer crashed out in a hammock. She has cleaned up after her run-in with the flash bees, but is not wearing her hat or cape. Full lighting switches on as Starlight enters.)
Starlight: Well, you really stand by the ponies you care about. Gallus even said nocreature’s ever stuck up for him the way you did with Grandpa Gruff. (Trixie turns two baleful eyes toward her.) It would’ve been nice to run the School together, but not everypony is right for every job. (She moves a bit closer; Trixie is now sitting up.)
Trixie: I know how you take your responsibilities seriously, and maybe I shoulda known I wasn’t exactly a perfect fit. (Hop down off the hammock.)
Starlight: If it makes you feel any better, nopony was.
Trixie: What do you mean?
Starlight: Well, Doctor Whooves has decided to go back to his experiments, and Octavia is worried the responsibilities of vice-headmare will take too much time away from her music. Maybe getting a vice-headmare was a bad idea.
Trixie: Starlight, obviously you’d like some help, and hiring a vice-headmare is a great idea.
Starlight: But who could it be?
Trixie: Well, you need somepony who’s responsible, like you. And detail-oriented, like Twilight. And…smart, obviously. It is a school, after all.
(By the time she finishes listing these attributes, she has levitated three smoke bombs from a nearby box, stacked them on a front hoof, and dropped to her haunches. She then commences to juggling them.)
Starlight: It would be nice if I got along with them, since having it be a friend can’t work out. (Trixie has a brainstorm and catches the balls.)
Trixie: Maybe it can.
(She reflexively raises her forelegs, tossing the bombs up without fully letting her brain have a say in the matter, and has just enough time for one scared grimace before they shatter on the floor and detonate. A cloud of blue-violet smoke rises past the camera, the view wiping behind it to Starlight’s office. The grinning guidance counselor is seated behind the desk, Trixie smiling from her spot alongside the chair, and Sunburst paces before them.)
Sunburst: And I knew as soon as I read Trixie’s scroll that it was the exact right thing for me to do.
Starlight: But…what about being Flurry Heart’s Crystaller?
Sunburst: Well, honestly, now that Flurry Heart’s a little older, there really isn’t much for me to do outside of the occasional tradition or festival. A-And working at a school is what I always thought I’d do—I mean… (Close-up; he leans across the desk toward her.) …if you’ll have me.
Starlight: Are you kidding? (grabbing his hoof) You’re hired! (Pan to Trixie on the next line.)
Trixie: I had a feeling this would work out.
Starlight: (hugging her with gusto; Trixie’s eyes bug out) Oh, Trixie, thank you so much!
Trixie: Between being insightful when I want to be, and giving good advice when I don’t mean to, I suppose I can be a pretty good friend. (Something clicks in Starlight’s mind.)
Starlight: More than that, actually. You really did give good advice— (circling to Sunburst) —a-and you helped me talk through the problem of finding the right pony for the job, and we know you care about the students.
Trixie: (full ham mode) Trixie, the Great and Powerful Advice-Giver, Problem Talk-Through-er, and Student Care-About-er! (Pause.) Eh, I think I’ll go with “friend.”
Starlight: “Friend” is perfect—but there’s a position at the School you might be right for, too. What would you say to being the School of Friendship’s new student counselor?
(The blue mare mulls this over and comes up into a smile.)
Trixie: I’d say this office needs a bit of redecorating. (levitating Phyllis off the desk) Potted plants scream “desperation.”
(It is unceremoniously dumped into the trash can.)
Starlight: (anguished, eyes tearing up) PHYLLIS, NO!!
(Snap to black.)
DARING DOUBT
Written by Nicole Dubuc
Produced by Devon Cody
Story editing by Josh Haber
Supervising direction by Jim Miller
Directed by Denny Lu, Mike Myhre
Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)
Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to the exterior of Rainbow Dash’s cloud house during the day. Fluttershy arcs toward it, reading intently from a book and with saddlebags slung up; cut to just inside the front doors, which the blue pegasus flies to open at the sound of the yellow one’s knock. Fluttershy, standing on the step, is so engrossed in her reading—a Daring Do tale, judging by the cover art—that Rainbow has to push the book down from her face to make eye contact.)
Fluttershy: Oh! (stepping in, closing book and door) I just stopped by to thank you for letting me borrow your Daring Do books. I loved them! (Rainbow touches down.)
Rainbow: Wait ’til you get to Daring Do and the Riddle of the Sphinx!
Fluttershy: (slipping book into her bags) This is actually my second time through! I read them all, from Daring Do and the Sapphire Statue to Daring Do and the Fallen Idol!
Rainbow: (baffled) Fallen Idol? (shaking head) That’s not in the series.
Fluttershy: Oh. It just came out last week. Maybe that’s why you haven’t heard of it?
Rainbow: (hovering) No way Daring Do’s biggest fan—me—would miss a book coming out. Besides, A.K. Yearling always sends me a copy.
Fluttershy: (pulling book out) Well, I’m happy to let you borrow mine until yours arrives.
(It is snatched from her grip and brought up close to the red-violet eyes.)
Rainbow: (reading cover) “The true story of the thieving fraud known as Daring Do”? What?!? Why would A.K. Yearling write that about herself? (Fluttershy moves in for a look.)
Fluttershy: Oh! It looks like she didn’t!
(Close-up of the book.)
Fluttershy: (from o.s., pointing to text in bottom corner) This book says it’s by Groom Q.Q. Martingale. (Both mares again.)
Rainbow: Who?
Fluttershy: I guess he’s a new writer.
(Turning away in midair, Rainbow flips through a few pages.)
Rainbow: (scornfully) A bad one! (reading) “The only thing worse than Daring Do’s destruction of temples is her cruelty to the mild-mannered Dr. Caballeron”?
Fluttershy: It was written from his point of view. (Rainbow pivots back to her.) I figured it was an artistic choice.
Rainbow: (closing book) More like a disaster! Listen. (opening, reading) “Daring Do isn’t just a fictional character from over-the-top adventure stories.” (with growing apprehension) “I’ve met her, and she is a real live pony!” (Slam it shut.) That’s supposed to be a secret! (Throw it aside with a savage snarl.) We’re the only ones who know Daring Do is really A.K. Yearling in disguise! (Fluttershy paces after it.) But if other ponies read this book, how long will it take them to figure that out? We have to go warn her! (exasperatedly) Fluttershy!
(Across the way, the meek mare has gone right back to the pages; Rainbow once again has to push the book down from her face to get her attention.)
Fluttershy: Hmm? Oh. Sorry.
(She returns it to her saddlebags and offers a big, dopey, embarrassed grin. Fade to black.)
OPENING THEME
Act One
(Opening shot: fade in to the entrance hall of the cloud house as Rainbow hovers into view, holding up an advertisement. Front and center is a picture of A.K. Yearling, wearing her cape and glasses but not her cloche hat and sitting among stacks of books, quill in hoof.)
Rainbow: A.K. Yearling is signing all her books at the bookstore today. (stuffing it under a wing) We can warn her about what’s going on!
Fluttershy: (holding up book) Don’t you think you should read Martingale’s book first, just to hear both sides of the story?
Rainbow: Uh, why? The only true thing in that pack of lies is that Daring Do is real.
Fluttershy: There’s also a lot of insight into Dr. Caballeron’s life choices. Did you know he’s actually a history professor and amateur birdwatcher? (Rainbow leans into her face.)
Rainbow: Are you serious right now? A random writer trashes our friend and exposes her secret, and you want to talk about BIRDS?!?
Fluttershy: (whispering) Also spider cruelty.
Rainbow: What?!?
Fluttershy: (opening book, showing a picture of Daring pushing through thick cobwebs) You have to admit, Daring Do wrecks a lot of spiderwebs in her adventures. (Lower it.)
Rainbow: In order to save precious artifacts from the bad guy—who, you seem to have forgotten, is Dr. Caballeron! Are you sure you read the same series I did?
(Dissolve to just inside the closed door of another building, which opens to admit Fluttershy and Rainbow, and zoom out. The stacked/shelved volumes filling the floor, and the poster set up on a folding stand, give it away as the bookstore in which Yearling is signing. Fluttershy still has her bags on, but has put the Martingale book away.)
Rainbow: Wow. At least A.K. Yearling’s true fans know Martingale’s book is bogus.
(Fluttershy registers a degree of worry; cut to just behind the pair. They are at the end of a line of ponies decked out as Daring to varying degrees of accuracy, the non-pegasi wearing fake wings attached to their bush shirts, and the faces all broadcast confusion and hostility. Yearling is setting up a table and poster, her cloche gone as in the ad Rainbow showed to Fluttershy.)
Fluttershy: I’m not sure those are all fans.
(Cut here and there among the queue during this line, picking out the general air of disquiet, then to the table. Almost as soon as Yearling has seated herself in a chair, the first stallion slams a hoof onto the edge with enough force to rattle all the books piled on it.)
Stallion 1: Why didn’t your books say Daring Do is real? This changes everything! (Another one speaks up from farther back.)
Stallion 2: (stammering a bit) And why do you only write about her good side? Is she bribing you?
Stallion 1: (checking his copy—actually Martingale’s book) On page five-thirty-one, it says Daring Do kicks puppies!
Filly: (shocked) She does?
Yearling: (pounding table) What?! No! Look, are any of you here for my actual book signing?
(A chorus of murmured responses in the negative.)
Stallion 2: Uh-uh. Frankly, I don’t even know how you can call it fiction if it’s all real. (scoffing) You’re as much of a fake as Daring Do!
(The others voice agreement in a decidedly less-than-friendly tone and exit with him, tossing their books to the floor and closing the door behind them under the next line.)
Rainbow: (to Yearling) Uh, I guess we’re a little late to warn you about the new book, huh?
(They step up to the table as the shunned author heaves a sigh.)
Yearling: I always feared that someday everypony would learn Daring Do was real.
Fluttershy: But why? Aren’t you proud of your adventures?
Yearling: Of course! But I’m not in it for the fame. The stories just seemed too good to keep to myself. I wish I knew who this Martingale author was, and why he’s determined to ruin my character—and me!
Fluttershy: Maybe we can ask him.
(She steps aside, giving the camera a clear view of the front window—and a second bookstore directly across the street from this one. Posters and banners depicting the cover art of Martingale’s book have been pasted/strung up on the windows and over the door, and one more ad has been set out on the sidewalk with a folding stand. Rainbow rushes to the window for a better look at the sizable line of ponies waiting to get in. The architecture of this building and its surroundings suggests that these events are occurring in a city such as Manehattan, rather than Ponyville.)
Rainbow: No way! He’s doing a signing across the street?
Yearling: You’d better go without me. (raising/lowering glasses) I can’t risk the chance Martingale might recognize me as Daring Do.
(The ace flyer nods agreement; cut to the exterior of the second bookstore as she flies in through the front doors, followed by Fluttershy, then to inside. The first threads expertly through the line, while the second bumps into one pony after another.)
Fluttershy: Oops! Um, sorry. Uh, excuse us.
(By the time she gets in the clear, Rainbow has hunkered down behind a spare table to scope out Groom Q.Q. Martingale in the horseflesh, seated at the next one over. His coloration and facial features are a match for those of Dr. Caballeron, Daring’s archaeological rival, but he wears a gray cap and a thick beard/mustache in two lighter shades. A patch of blue shirt fabric is visible from this angle as he listens to a customer. Both mares peek up from behind the stacked books they are using as a blind, and Rainbow gasps sharply at what she sees. Cut to Martingale and the tough-looking assistants who flank his table as he waves to the departing bibliophile; now a pair of white suspenders can be seen running over his shoulders. Fluttershy and Rainbow keep their voices down for the next three lines.)
Rainbow: (from o.s.) That’s not Martingale, it’s Dr. Caballeron in disguise! (Back to the pair.) Now it all makes sense! Daring Do’s arch-nemesis created a fake author self so he can write books that make him sound like a hero! Who does that?
Fluttershy: Uh, A.K. Yearling?
Rainbow: This is totally different.
(The next customer has barely made it away from the table before she flies across to face Martingale straight on; normal speaking volume resumes.)
Rainbow: Well, well, well. (leaning across table) Up to your old tricks again, huh? Just like in Somnambula— (pounding it) —spreading lies to make Daring Do look bad!
(A reference to the events of “Daring Done?” Fluttershy hustles in, bumping her aside and placing her book before Martingale with a sweet little smile.)
Fluttershy: Would you sign our book?
(Martingale’s voice is an exact match for Caballeron’s.)
Martingale: I am just a simple author, telling it like it is. Uh, who should I make it out to? (He takes pen in teeth.)
Fluttershy: Fluttershy, with two T’s.
(Her fellow pegasus glares daggers at her and knocks the copy aside with a scoff before Martingale can get more than one or two characters down.)
Rainbow: We know who you really are! (indicating ponies in line) And unless you want us to tell all of them, you’d better answer some questions!
Martingale: (standing up, addressing crowd) I’m afraid that’s all we have time for today. (Chuckle.)
Customers: (dejectedly) Awww…
Martingale: But please take a free copy of my book on your way out.
(Cheers ring out as they race up to the table and clamor to catch the books being thrown by the assistants. The camera angle now picks out the blue pants Martingale wears, a darker hue than his shirt. Rainbow rises to a hover above the hubbub, looking this way and that for any sign of her quarry, and hits paydirt upon zooming off down one aisle; her next words freeze him in his tracks.)
Rainbow: We aren’t gonna let you get away with this, Caballeron!
Martingale: Get away with what? I’m merely telling my side of the story. (Fluttershy flies over, holding her book.)
Rainbow: You mean lying!
Martingale: You think everything in A.K. Yearling’s books are true [sic]? Daring Do and the Quetzal’s Quest—she states that the fangthorn flowers are red. In fact, they are blue!
Fluttershy: (to Rainbow) It’s true! They are!
Rainbow: (scoffing) That sounds like more of an editor’s mistake.
Martingale: Still, if that is wrong, is it not possible that other, bigger things are too? (pointing) Take a look. It’s in my book.
(Fluttershy offers it to Rainbow, who angrily shoves it back.)
Rainbow: But I don’t have to take your word for it! (flying away) Come on, Fluttershy!
(Her fellow traveler makes to follow, but stops at the sound of Martingale’s defeated moan; he drops to his haunches as she stashes the tome in her bags.)
Fluttershy: Is something wrong?
Martingale: (voice breaking) It is terrible being misunderstood. It is true in the past, I have not been as nice to Daring Do as I should, but I have my reasons. (He wipes away tears as she lands before him.)
Fluttershy: Want to talk about what happened? (He composes himself.)
Martingale: My team and I were only ever interested in researching artifacts and taking them to our museum where other ponies could study them.
(The entire bookstore slides out of view on the second half of this line, taking him with it and revealing an archaeological dig site laid at the base of desert cliffs. The view takes on a slightly washed-out coloration with occasional flickers and specks of static, as if it were being played from an old film reel. Caballeron and three of the hench-ponies who have done his bidding in the past—Biff, Withers, and Vest—have already unearthed a few buried items and are searching for more. The boss makes the next find, digging up a cracked pottery jar that brings smiles from the underlings. Tilt up quickly to the ridge behind them; Daring stands up here, silhouetted by the harsh daytime sun, and throws herself into a dive.)
Martingale: (voice over) But Daring Do always seemed to get there first— (She snatches the jar and pulls up.) —with her own plans!
(Caballeron pleads with her from ground level, but is soundly rebuffed; the item goes into a pouch hanging at Daring’s flank.)
Martingale: (voice over) I offered to team up with her, but she refused.
(She flies away. Cut to the exterior of her—or Yearling’s—secluded forest cottage. Caballeron and company gather at the window to peek in and spot her placing the jar among the antiquities that fill the mantel above her fireplace.)
Martingale: (voice over) She had her own ideas of where the treasures belonged.
(The narrative is interrupted by the arrival of a full-color Fluttershy, who casts a shadow over the scene as if it were being projected on a movie screen.)
Fluttershy: Daring Do did have a lot of artifacts on her shelves at home.
(As she continues, cut to her facing down Martingale in the bookstore.)
Fluttershy: But didn’t you try to sell them to the highest bidder?
Martingale: Only because I had to.
(The “film” resumes: Biff and Withers restrain Daring as Caballeron flips the golden Ring of Scorchero she had hidden—see “Daring Don’t”—from a table and down around his neck.)
Martingale: (voice over) Since Daring Do kept taking our artifacts and the museum closed!
(She throws off the two thugs and lunges at all three, filling the screen with a cloud of dust to mark their bust-up. This floats up past the camera, wiping the view to a long shot of a pile of rubble that might once have been a temple or tower.)
Martingale: (voice over) We were desperate for money to keep it open.
(Daring’s jungle enemy Ahuizotl drags himself up to daylight from amid the crumbled slabs, voicing a feral roar. Zoom out quickly to frame Caballeron and his crew watching fearfully from the underbrush and Daring doing likewise from the air, all keeping quite a bit of distance between him and themselves. The pegasus has recovered a sizable diamond from the site, and she throws her wings in gear to make good her escape.)
(Dissolve to Fluttershy and Martingale in the bookstore.)
Fluttershy: She does destroy a lot of ancient sites, not to mention the homes of the animals that live there.
Martingale: (standing up) And I felt it was my duty to tell the world. (sitting/standing again, smiling) Thank you for listening and understanding. Ms., uh…?
Fluttershy: Fluttershy. Two T’s.
Martingale: And I am Dr. Caballeron.
(These words are accompanied by the stripping away of his beard/cap/shirt/suspenders/pants to leave the treasure-seeker standing in his usual shirt and ascot.)
Caballeron: “Martingale” is merely a nom de plume to build my brand. (crossing to Fluttershy) You know, my team could use an insightful pegasus like you, Fluttershy. Have you ever thought of being…an adventurer?
Fluttershy: Who me?
(A big grin steals across her face at the thought. Wipe to the exterior of the bookstore, Rainbow pacing impatiently above the sidewalk for some seconds. The door finally opens and Fluttershy steps out.)
Rainbow: Finally! What took you so long? (Close-up of Fluttershy.)
Fluttershy: I decided to find out which author is really telling the truth, so I joined Dr. C’s Tenochtitlan expedition!
(She gestures toward the doors on the end of this, the camera panning to frame the emerging Caballeron, Biff, Withers, and Vest. The four stallions pause for the briefest instant so Caballeron can toss a smirk back toward Rainbow, then set off down the sidewalk with Fluttershy.)
Rainbow: (mind blown) Say whaaaaat?
(Fade to black.)
Act Two
(Opening shot: fade in to a rather gloomy-faced Yearling, still at her book signing in the first store Fluttershy and Rainbow visited. The filly who was so distraught over the mention of Daring kicking puppies stands facing her, front hooves propped on the edge.)
Filly: So Daring Do doesn’t kick puppies?
Yearling: That was one time! Accidentally! (Sound of the door opening.)
Rainbow: (from o.s., out of breath) A.K.! (Cut to frame her hovering above the table.) You have to help me! Groom Q.Q. Martingale is really Dr. Caballeron, and he has Fluttershy! The book thing was his new plan to ruin Daring Do’s reputation, and he’s trying to make my friend a criminal! They’re off to Tenochtitlan right now!
Yearling: He must be after the Truth Talisman of Tonatiuh! It requires the wings of a pegasus to retrieve it!
Rainbow: That’s gotta be why Caballeron tricked Fluttershy into joining his gang!
Yearling: (standing up, pounding table) Then it’s up to us to stop him!
(She pulls her cape off and throws it toward the camera; by the time it drifts away, she has changed into her trusty bush shirt and pith helmet and ditched her glasses. Daring stands tall and resolute.)
Filly: (awestruck, hooves to cheeks) Whoa…
(Wipe to a close-up of a map held by Caballeron, outlining a route that winds through forests and mountains before ending at a tower. This is lowered to show a patch of thick vegetation, which he parts with a hoof to reveal the end of the line on a clifftop not too far off. Caballeron grins avariciously at the sight and beckons the crew ahead, having pocketed the map; cut to Biff, Withers, and Vest moving stolidly through the jungle and pan to a smiling Fluttershy keeping pace. She still has her saddlebags and has donned a bucket hat. A step by Withers crushes a flower and brings a reproving look from Caballeron.)
Caballeron: Watch where you put your hooves, everypony. We do not want to disturb the fragile jungle ecosystem.
Fluttershy: Oh, that’s so thoughtful.
Caballeron: (lifting a vine out of Fluttershy’s way) Yes, unlike Daring Do, who slashes plants aside with her cruel machete.
(Up ahead, Vest plucks a large, yellow-spotted red fruit from a tree in a clearing.)
Fluttershy: Thank you.
(Close-up of the big stallion, who prepares to bite down on his find only for a spear to shoot it out of his grip and impale it on the trunk. A furious Caballeron jumps toward him.)
Caballeron: Fool! Don’t you know that’s poison?
(Realizing that Fluttershy has seen the whole thing, he backs off with a hasty smile.)
Caballeron: Uh, I don’t want you to get hurt, my friend. (Chuckle.)
Vest: But I’m hungry.
Fluttershy: Oh! (Now all five are in the clearing.) I can help with that.
(She produces a wrapped bundle from her bags and spreads it on the ground: apples and bottles of their juice laid out on a picnic blanket.)
Fluttershy: Here.
Caballeron: (puzzled; Vest licks his chops) You are…willing to share?
Fluttershy: Of course! That’s part of the fun of having an adventure with friends.
(The general confusion lasts for only a second or two before all four plunderers dig in with relish. A rattle of leaves draws Fluttershy’s attention; pan quickly to a stretch of bushes, from which a roaring panther leaps out. A snarling lynx emerges from another direction, a growling leopard from a third, and the ponies gasp in fright and forget their snacks as the predators close in. A fourth feline joins the party, this one a small and fluffy white kitten that balances on top of the panther’s head. Caballeron smiles at it, but backs off in a hurry when it utters a maddened yowl and swipes its claws at him. The stallions bug out, Caballeron grabbing Fluttershy’s foreleg to pull her along, but she skids to a stop and turns to face the cats as the hench-ponies dive into the bushes for cover.)
Caballeron: Fluttershy! Run! (Head-on shot of the pack; he continues o.s.) These ferocious beasts want to eat us for dinner!
(Back to the pegasus, who has barely even blinked.)
Fluttershy: That’s a common misconception. Have you ever tried just talking to them?
Caballeron: That’s crazy! (jumping into bushes) You’re on your own!
(The quartet’s perspective, Withers parting the leaves to see the cats bearing down on Fluttershy.)
Withers: She’s a goner. (Head-on shot: now Biff peeks through the hole.)
Biff: I can’t watch!
(He squeezes his eyes shut, but puts the lie to his words almost immediately by reopening one and then letting both pop wide in surprise. Their perspective again: instead of being torn limb from limb, Fluttershy has all four cats totally at ease with a combination of nuzzling and petting.)
Fluttershy: We’re very sorry for coming into your territory. We’re just passing through. (The stallions again, all positively dumbstruck with heads out of the bushes.)
Caballeron: How did you do that?
Fluttershy: Everycreature likes to be listened to. You just need to take the time to understand them.
Caballeron: (emerging) You are more talented than I realized.
Fluttershy: Thanks. I’m having the best time with you all!
(Little smiles of genuine appreciation work their way onto the miscreants’ faces. Wipe to a close-up of Rainbow in flight through the jungle.)
Rainbow: Fluttershy must be having the worst time with Caballeron’s goons! (Pan ahead to Daring.)
Daring: We need to catch up to them before they reach the Truth Talisman!
Rainbow: Why? What’s so special about it?
Daring: It has the power to make the pony holding it tell the truth, but Caballeron only wants it because it’s made of solid gold. He’ll melt it down and use it to get rich. (Rainbow pulls even.)
Rainbow: So if this talisman is so important, why didn’t you already save it? You said only a pegasus can get it, right?
Daring: Yes, but the temple traps are far too dangerous to face without a map, and maybe even with one.
(She pulls ahead, leaving Rainbow to swallow fearfully and pump her wings to catch up. Wipe to a head-on shot of Caballeron and company; he stands in the fore, studying his map carefully, and looks up with more than a little unease. A cut to behind them and tilt up tells the reason: a very narrow, very steep staircase rising hundreds of feet up the side of the tower on his map. Its pinnacle is nearly lost in the sun’s yellow glare. Down below, Caballeron rolls up the sheet.)
Biff: Boss, h-how about we take the shortcut?
Caballeron: (rounding on him, pocketing map) How about you be quiet!
(The rebuke drops the tough to his haunches, but Fluttershy’s silent presence lends him the resolve to stand and fix said boss with a level glare. Caballeron takes notice and quickly lets his anger subside.)
Caballeron: I-I mean…no, thank you, Biff. Let’s just follow the map. (He, Withers, and Vest move out; Biff sits again.)
Biff: (to Fluttershy) Aw, I’m supposed to be Dr. C’s second in command. He never listens to me!
Fluttershy: (walking past him) Well, keep trying. I believe in you.
(Her encouragement prompts the big guy to smile and stand up for the climb. In due time, all five have made it to the topmost level.)
Caballeron: At last!
(Zoom out to a long overhead shot. The flat roof on which they are standing might once have played host to a garden, but is now choked with wildly overgrown trees and other plant life. A circular area in the middle is bare, cracked stone ringed by the shattered remains of several pillars; a stubby, indented one juts from the center.)
Caballeron: Now we simply have to wait for the sun to reach its highest point.
(Cut to it during the previous line, then back to the five adventurers. Caballeron crosses to the center of the circle, the shadow cast by this pillar slowly contracting.)
Caballeron: And our path will be revealed.
(Behind him, Withers flops onto his back in the grass for a rest, not noticing the cobweb-covered hive suspended directly overhead. Cut to an overhead close-up as he waves a few of its denizens away from his face—the gray, red-streaked flyders that wreaked havoc during “Campfire Tales.”)
Fluttershy: (from o.s., urgently) Withers, don’t move.
(Longer shot, zooming out, he is too scared to do anything but stare up over his sunglasses at the growing swarm, while Fluttershy crouches facing him with a short length of bamboo in easy reach. Biff and Vest bug out and Caballeron watches, transfixed, as she picks up the item and blows into one end. The resulting flute-like tone draws all the flyders away from Withers, and he too scrambles to safety as she gets upright and leads the swarm to the edge of the roof with additional notes. One more sends them right back to the hive; Withers laughs in relief, and Caballeron once again smiles at the mare’s unexpected talents.)
(Wipe to the base of the tower, the camera pointing up toward the roof. Rainbow and Daring steps into view and turn their eyes upward.)
Daring: There they are! We can catch them before they enter the temple!
(Eight hooves pelt toward the treacherous staircase, but only two wings get airborne for the flight up due to a length of vine that lashes into view from behind and snags Daring. She is pulled to the ground with a yell; Rainbow gasps, doubles back, and starts tearing at the bonds.)
Daring: Get back, Rainbow Dash! It’s Ahuizotl!
(And here comes a second vine to tie up the Wonderbolt. A bulky shadow throws itself over the two prone forms, accompanied by a low, unsettling chuckle, and the camera cuts to Ahuizotl with the free ends of both vines in one hand.)
Ahuizotl: Daring Do, my old nemesis. (with growing rage) You may have outsmarted my jungle cats, but you cannot escape me!
(He slams his free hand to the turf on this last word, setting off a small tremor.)
Rainbow: (struggling) We didn’t see any cats! We’re just here to rescue Fluttershy!
(Daring flips herself end-over-end so she can bite down on a small stone lying nearby and put it to work sawing through the vines holding her.)
Ahuizotl: Hmmm…it must be a coincidence that only a pegasus can retrieve Tonatiuh’s treasure. And there are two of you here.
(An instant after he slams a palm to the dirt, the archaeologist breaks loose and spits out the stone with a savage grin. Ahuizotl tries to mash her into the forest floor, but she is a shade too quick in getting airborne and gone. Sinking her chompers into Rainbow’s wrappings, Daring rockets up the stairs to tow her along. Ahuizotl can do nothing but voice his frustration in a jungle-shaking roar.)
(Wipe to an overhead shot of the roof, then cut to an extreme close-up of the base of the central pillar, whose shadow has now disappeared entirely—the sun is directly overhead. With a devious smile, Caballeron pulls out a small ceremonial mask carved from crystal and fits it into a depression atop the pillar. It sinks in, becoming flush with the stone surface, and a shaft of sunlight strikes it with an intensity that forces Fluttershy and Caballeron to avert their eyes as it grows to white out the screen. Fade in almost immediately to an overhead shot; the beam has split into a slowly rotating pattern similar to a wagon wheel, and Fluttershy takes a step back from the outer edge as one radial spoke traces past her. Caballeron follows her cue, jumping off the stone circle to join the other four an instant before the whole thing splits down the middle and begins to grind open. Within seconds, the pillar is left standing alone on a central plinth, at the center of a spiral staircase that winds down into darkness. The rotating pattern vanishes at the same time, and the sun’s motion begins to cast a shadow from the pillar over the stairs.)
Caballeron: (galloping toward stairs) Quickly! Before the sun moves any closer!
(The party of five sprints down…the bright sunbeam stops…and the halves of the great stone hatch begin to close as a freed Rainbow and Daring gain the roof. They streak down through the opening with inches to go; Daring’s helmet falls off, but she zips back to pull it through with only the barest whisper of a split second to spare. They find themselves in a torchlit circular chamber with several identical closed doors.)
Rainbow: Phew! (Daring puts her helmet back on.) That was cutting it close.
Daring: (trotting across) And without a map, we’ll have to guess which way to go.
(The blue mare falls in as she opens one particular door, which closes by itself once they are out. Dissolve to a close-up of another door, which grinds upward in its frame to open a way for Caballeron and his crew. He casually brushes a spiderweb out of his path, then stops short and stars wide-eyed at the thing before him—a broad gold necklace with a clasp formed from a string of yellow pearls. Three gems are set into a stylized dog’s face—rubies for the eyes, an emerald in the open mouth—and the item is suffused with a yellow-green light. A longer shot puts the group in a large chamber, at the edge of a deep pit from which a lurid orange glow is emanating; the necklace hovers high above a small pedestal at its center. They have found the Truth Talisman of Tonatiuh.)
Caballeron: (hamming it up) Oh, no! I knew the Truth Talisman could not be moved by magic, but I never realized we’d have to fly to retrieve it! (sobbing, flopping to floor) Our journey has been for nothing!
Fluttershy: (trotting ahead) Don’t be upset. I can get it.
Caballeron: Oh, Fluttershy, you are too kind. But I could never ask that of you! It might be dangerous.
Fluttershy: (firmly) I want to do it, for all of you— (glancing at hench-ponies) —my new friends, and to protect a historical treasure.
(She easily flies up to the Talisman and hooks a foreleg through it, the aura fading away—but the moment she does, the whole place starts to do the mambo and spurts of lava erupt from the pit. Fluttershy cries out and tries time after time to get out of danger, but the fountains of molten rock keep cutting off her escape. Biff is first to recover his senses, darting to a pillar at the perimeter and straining to tip it over—no good.)
Biff: Gimme a hoof here!
(Vest hops onto his back, and Withers clambers onto Vest’s and gets a boost up to a higher ledge. He manages to dislodge a chunk of the masonry at this level; it lands flat in front of Caballeron, jutting over the edge of the pit, and he jumps on and gallops out toward the imperiled mare. The geysers keep bringing her up short, and one last mighty burst sends her plummeting with a scream. Cut to an extreme close-up of her, momentum abruptly reducing itself to zero, and zoom out as she fearfully takes in her surroundings. The only thing keeping her out of this extreme fondue pot is Caballeron’s hoof, looped through the strap of her saddlebags. He drags her up and onto the makeshift bridge, which immediately begins to crack under the force of the lava jetting up on either side. All three thugs are back on the floor now, and Biff frantically waves for Fluttershy and Caballeron to get moving; they make it back to solid ground just before the whole bridge goes into the drink, and the lava quickly calms down.)
Withers: We did it!
Vest: You’re safe!
Fluttershy: Thanks, everypony!
(She passes the Talisman to Caballeron, who eagerly lets it fall around his neck.)
Daring: (from o.s.) Give us the Talisman, Caballeron! (Longer shot; she and Rainbow have reached this chamber.)
Rainbow: We’re not taking no for an answer!
Fluttershy: (crossing to them) Wait! You don’t understand! My friends are researchers! They only want to study the Talisman and keep it safe in a museum. Right, Dr. C?
Caballeron: (sweating; it and his eyes flare yellow-green) Uh…no.
Fluttershy: (gasping) But…but…you said— (She drops to her haunches, stunned.)
Daring: Now that he’s holding Tonatiuh’s talisman, he has to tell the truth!
Rainbow: Admit it, Caballeron! You’re only pretending to like Fluttershy because she has the wings you needed to steal the Truth Talisman! (She leans in, nose to nose.) Isn’t that right?
Caballeron: (flare) No! I-I admit, that was the original reason, but my hench-ponies and I have come to value your friendship and kindness.
(Nods from said hench-ponies leave one pegasus smiling and two others very confused—no points for guessing which is which.)
Rainbow: Didn’t see that coming. (An o.s. rumble and growl from Ahuizotl.) Or that!
(Pan quickly to the blue meanie entering through another doorway.)
Ahuizotl: More intruders? And you dare to steal Tonatiuh’s talisman? Guardian-goyles, attack!
(One, two, three stone statues on the upper ledges come to life. These are pony-shaped, with fangs and bat wings, and all four legs end in sets of claws rather than hooves. The eyes glow a featureless red, and they wear tribal necklaces, headdresses, and foreleg bracelets. The guardian-goyles menace the seven interlopers with low, rumbling growls, while Ahuizotl laughs maniacally and backs out through the doorway he used to get in here. The pull of a lever seals both this exit and the one employed by Caballeron and company. One of the three golems charges at the camera, the view fading to black as its open mouth fills the screen.)
Act Three
(Opening shot: fade in to the face-off. The hench-ponies flee before one guardian-goyle’s screeching airborne charge, while the other four hit the deck to keep their heads intact.)
Caballeron: (dodging another rush) Fluttershy! Can’t you ask them to stop, like the jungle cats? (She stands up and addresses one menacing Daring.)
Fluttershy: Um, excuse me? Uh, guardian-goyles?
(For her trouble, she gets a clawed swipe that comes within a flicker of removing her bucket hat, her mane, and at least half of her skull. The thing shifts its focus from her to Rainbow.)
Daring: It’s no good! They’re only stone and magic, not alive! (It lands with its tail to her.) I encountered some like this in Marapore!
Caballeron: Ah, yes. I seem to recall similar creations in Flankladesh.
Rainbow: So? How do you get rid of them?
(One set of stone jaws very nearly takes her tail off.)
Daring: I-I know they don’t like bright light!
Fluttershy: There’s none of that in here!
Daring: Not yet! Caballeron! Do you still have the Diamond of Lapis Lux?
Caballeron: (eyes/Talisman flaring, struggling for words) Yes! I-I mean…yes! I-I mean…
(Giving up on his effort to hide the truth, he voices a loud groan.)
Caballeron: Ay-ay! (pulling a diamond from his pocket) How did you know I stole it?!
Daring: Lucky guess. Hold it high!
(He does so; she pulls out a flashlight, switches it on, and trains its beam on the gem. The light refracts through the facets and emerges in narrow, concentrated rays that sweep across the chamber. The guardian-goyles snarl and screw up their eyes, rising back to their original perches and returning to their original inanimate state. With the hazard gone, Daring shuts off her flashlight and Caballeron lowers the stolen jewel.)
Fluttershy: Wow! You two make a great team!
Rainbow: (landing next to them) Yeah, I’m not sure how I feel about that. (Daring straightens up, the flash packed away.)
Daring: Feel later! Now it’s time to escape!
(She throws her weight and a couple of kicks against one sealed exit, to no avail. Caballeron has now re-pocketed the diamond.)
Biff: If we want to get out of here, we’re all gonna have to work together!
Caballeron: That’s…uh, actually a good idea.
Fluttershy: (to Rainbow/Daring) See? Told you he’d listen.
Daring: (to Caballeron) A truce until we escape? But how can we trust you?
Caballeron: (flare) I cannot lie. Now, all together!
(All seven ponies put their backs into it—the stallions at ground level, the mares near the top—and succeed in tipping over the slab closing off one doorway. Dust boils up to fill the screen, then clears to present a view of the chamber from within the passage they have just opened. They hustle through, but stop in their tracks at the sound of a file’s soft rasping and Ahuizotl’s tuneless humming. Cut to him in the next room, doing a little touch-up work on his fingernails; he drops the file with a shout and whirls to face the group on all fours.)
Ahuizotl: You again!
(A rising growl escapes his lips as he hoists Caballeron bodily off the ground with his tail hand and beckons for the loot to be handed over. Instead, Caballeron removes the Talisman and throws it to Daring, who hovers up to catch it around her neck.)
Ahuizotl: (dropping Caballeron) If I wanted to play games, I would get out my pinochle deck!
(The stallion ends up somewhere behind him, near an open passageway at the wall opposite the others. Ahuizotl makes a grab for Daring, who reverses to stay clear and spots the egress.)
Daring: This way!
(She flies point to lead the others, getting them away just in time to avoid Ahuizotl’s leap, and Caballeron falls in with them. However, the blue beast barricades the exit with his body; Daring goes into a sharp ascent just shy of a collision and hurls the Talisman back across the chamber.)
Daring: Rainbow Dash!
(Cut to the speedster on the end of his; she catches it and is almost immediately forced to lift off so that Ahuizotl cannot grab her.)
Rainbow: (eyes/Talisman flaring) I’m gonna need the deluxe spa package after this adventure. (pointedly, to Fluttershy) Uh, that doesn’t leave this temple.
(The bauble is pitched down to the yellow pegasus, who spends a moment admiring it instead of paying attention to the hulking adversary who is banging his fists together. The game of keep-away resumes, with passes from Fluttershy to Biff to Withers to Vest; all get moving toward the doorway except for this last, who backs up toward the wall with his mind completely frozen up by fear. Only a grab for his throat gets his hooves moving in the right direction and at a high enough speed. Cut to within the passage, the camera pointing out toward the chamber, as he skids to a stop near the rest of the equine septet.)
Vest: (flare) That’s it! I’m quitting the hench-pony business to finally follow my dreams of becoming an opera star!
(This admission surprises not only him, but the other six when the camera cuts to them. Though safe in the passage, they can go no further due to the wall of blocks closing it off.)
Vest: (sheepishly, passing Talisman back to Caballeron) Uh, maybe you should hold this.
(No sooner has the boss got it back around his neck than the whole place shakes; on the start of the next line, cut to frame Ahuizotl reaching in after the group.)
Ahuizotl: You cannot hide in there forever! It’s a dead end!
(He backs away with a deranged laugh; cut to him slamming his weight against the chamber wall, then to the group again as stone fragments rain down from his onslaught, which continues during the following exchange.)
Daring: Ahuizotl won’t give up until he catches us!
Fluttershy: (smiling) I think our problem is the solution! (She turns toward the chamber.)
Rainbow: Uh, did you forget there’s a monster out there that wants to crush us?
Fluttershy: But why? Nopony ever asked Ahuizotl what his side of the story is. He must have a reason for being so upset.
Rainbow: Or maybe he’s just a bad guy! Do I need to remind you he tried to squash Daring Do, like, a hundred times?
Caballeron: (flare) And me as well. I was so scared, I had to change my ascot. (Vest grins; he rips the Talisman off with a yell and throws it away.) Curse this truth-teller!
(Fluttershy catches it on the fly…)
Fluttershy: Understanding begins with listening.
(…and lifts off into the chamber as Rainbow and Caballeron exchange “she’s done for” looks. Cut to Ahuizotl, who is bracing to ram another shoulder into the wall; he checks himself upon spotting Fluttershy.)
Ahuizotl: Ah. (socking one fist into other palm) Prepared to meet your doom?!
Fluttershy: Um…not really. (sitting on haunches, holding up Talisman) Just here to ask—why are you chasing us, Mr. Ahuizotl?
(The forthrightness of her question stuns him into a moment’s silence, while the other six ponies look on from the relative safety of their dead end. When he continues, any trace of rancor is gone from his voice.)
Ahuizotl: (sitting, taking Talisman; it and his eyes flare yellow-green) Well, the thing is, I’m in charge of protecting this jungle. (scratching head) If another artifact goes missing on my watch, I’m going to be in so much trouble with the other guardian creatures!
Fluttershy: (moving closer, patting an elbow) Oh, that sounds like a lot of responsibility.
Ahuizotl: (sputtering) It is! (Cut to a chastened Caballeron and Daring; he continues o.s, voice slowly breaking.) And those two have taken so many relics from my land, my job is on the line! (Back to him and Fluttershy; he lays the Talisman down.) So maybe I am a little violent and ferocious, uh…can you blame me?
(He accepts a proffered handkerchief, blows his nose loudly, and wipes away tears as the two rivals step back into the chamber. Each one places a front hoof on the item, bringing a smile back to the elongated face.)
Daring: (flare) The only reason I’ve been taking the artifacts is because I thought I was protecting them.
Caballeron: (flare) I was stealing them to get rich.
(And those words get an instantly hacked-off Ahuizotl’s mug thrust hard into his own.)
Caballeron: (flare; smiling hastily) Uh, but I never realized you had a noble cause. I thought you were just being a monster.
(The big galoot backs off with a resigned sigh, having put the hanky aside.)
Ahuizotl: I get that a lot. (Caballeron and Daring are now sitting with hooves off the item.)
Rainbow: (trotting out to them, sitting) Maybe there is something to this whole “listening to everypony” thing.
Fluttershy: It doesn’t always mean they’re telling the truth, but everycreature deserves kindness.
Ahuizotl: True. And because you returned the Talisman and took the time to understand me… (He zips over to a lever protruding from the wall.) …I will let you all go.
(A pull with his tail hand, and the circular stone hatch in the roof grinds open; now he crosses to the group and sits facing them. The hench-ponies have now left the passage as well.)
Ahuizotl: On one condition! (He picks up the Talisman.) You swear to never steal artifacts from the Tenochtitlan Basin again!
(It is held out toward the veteran adventurers, each of whom places a hoof on it.)
Caballeron, Daring: (eyes/Talisman flaring yellow-green) I promise!
Daring: I’ll even write that in my next book. (Ahuizotl withdraws the Talisman.)
Caballeron: (taken aback) Your next book? You mean you’re actually A.K. Yearling?
Daring: Don’t tell anypony!
Caballeron: That gives me an idea.
(And Ahuizotl’s brain has started to work as well, if the finger tapping against his chin is any indication. Dissolve to the bookstore in which Yearling held her signing; she and Caballeron, the latter once again in disguise as Martingale, are sitting side by side at a table with books on display and absolutely no takers.)
Rainbow: (trotting to them) Hey, what’s going on? I thought your first co-written novel would bring out a ton of fans.
(Close-up of the unlikely collaborators and their work, whose cover shows Caballeron and Daring standing back to back between spiked walls and smiling. Yearling smiles, while Martingale scowls behind his fake beard/mustache.)
Yearling: (pointing) We’ve been upstaged by a new author.
(Her hoof is directed out the shop window, through which the second bookstore can be seen across the street. Rainbow pivots to see that the posters and banners celebrating Martingale have been replaced with a set glorifying Ahuizotl—he has decided to get into the literature game. Inside, the former monster sits behind a table far too small for his king-size physique, it is stacked with books, and he has donned a pair of reading glasses to address the enraptured foals seated on the floor facing him. Zoom out slowly.)
Ahuizotl: (reading from a copy) “And so the noble Ahuizotl bravely toiled day and night to protect the jungle’s precious artifacts.”
(Fade to black as he finishes this sentence.)
GROWING UP IS HARD TO DO
Written by Ed Valentine
Produced by Devon Cody
Story editing by Josh Haber
Supervising direction by Jim Miller
Directed by Denny Lu, Mike Myhre
Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)
Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ clubhouse during the day and zoom in slowly. On the start of the next line, cut to Apple Bloom inside, sitting on her haunches and looking over an advertisement she holds. The festive design and pictures of rides and game booths indicate a carnival or fair.)
Bloom: I can’t believe we’re goin’ to the Appleloosa County Fair! (Sweetie Belle pops up to read over one shoulder.)
Sweetie: Animal shows, carnival rides— (Scootaloo at the other, wearing her saddlebags.)
Scootaloo: —and all kinds of food on a stick!
(She topples backward while licking her chops and lands hard enough to shake the building.)
Sweetie: (backing up to an easel at one side; Bloom sets the sheet down) Speaking of food, did you pack snacks for the train?
Scootaloo: (opening one bag; it is stuffed with fresh/packaged foods) For there and back!
Bloom: (standing, holding up three tickets) And our train tickets are all set.
(Sweetie’s field levitates a marker and checks off three items on the chart supported by the easel: luggage, food, tickets. It tucks itself behind her ear as she flips to the next page, which is densely packed with notes and graphs.)
Sweetie: And I’ve got our whole itinerary planned!
Bloom: (teasingly) Are you sure you’re not Twilight’s sister? (She and Scootaloo laugh; Sweetie crosses to them and Scootaloo sits.)
Scootaloo: Weeks of planning has all come down to this. (standing) All we have to do now is wait for our chaperone to get here.
Bloom, Sweetie: (nodding) Mmm-hmm!
(All three fillies pivot to face the closed door and sit on their haunches. Cut to a close-up of its upper section and zoom out to frame them as it remains quite inert for several seconds.)
Bloom: (to Scootaloo) So when’s Rainbow Dash comin’?
Scootaloo: (puzzled) I thought you were gonna ask Applejack.
Bloom: (to Sweetie, uneasily) I don’t suppose you asked Rarity?
(The shaky little grins on the yellow and orange faces paint a genuine scare onto the white one.)
Sweetie: (standing) You mean we spent all this time planning a trip and none of us asked anypony to take us?!
Scootaloo: In our defense, every other part of the trip was planned really well.
(Bloom claps a disgusted hoof to her own forehead, while Sweetie kicks the easel over in a fit of pique and gives Scootaloo a glare that could vaporize a diamond. Fade to black.)
OPENING THEME
Act One
(Opening shot: fade in to a stretch of wall within the Carousel Boutique, against which Sweetie straightens up into view in close-up. The marker she used to fill out her checklist is now gone.)
Sweetie: We really did think of everything, except finding somepony to take us! And the Fair is only today!
(Longer shot: she and Rarity are within the latter’s upper-story workroom and living area. Rarity has her tinted glasses on and is manipulating several items at once to assemble a formal outfit on one of her pony-shaped mannequins.)
Rarity: I’m sorry, darlings, but I can’t possibly go to Appleloosa. (Close-up.) I promised to deliver a new design to Fancypants for his Monocle and Top Hat Appreciation Society soiree.
(She turns to cross the floor, but something from o.s. below pulls her to an abrupt halt. On the start of the next line, zoom out to frame the cause as Sweetie, holding on for dear life to one hind leg.)
Sweetie: (as Rarity tries to shake her off) Can’t you finish it tomorrow?
Rarity: (magically pulling her loose) Well, I could. But you’ll learn as you get older how important it is to keep your promises— (crossing floor, floating her away) —especially when running a business.
(In close-up, the younger sibling is unceremoniously plopped to the floor between her two partners in cutie mark mayhem. Scootaloo is no longer wearing her bags.)
Sweetie: Maybe we should just go by ourselves?
Rarity: (from o.s.) What?!? (Zoom out to frame her.) Oh, my dear, no! Appleloosa is far too long a train ride for young foals without accompaniment! You could end up in the wrong place entirely! (pacing) Uh, why don’t you see if Rainbow Dash is free?
(Wipe to a close-up of Rainbow Dash, peeking over the edge of a cloud as she finishes donning her Wonderbolt flight suit and goggles. She addresses herself downward.)
Rainbow: Sorry, but I just heard from Spitfire that a whole bunch of storm clouds got loose from the cloud factory, and she needs every Wonderbolt to help bust ’em.
(Cut to just behind her shoulder; she is speaking to the Crusaders on a stretch of park land.)
Scootaloo: Aw, come on, Rainbow Dash! They won’t miss one pony, and we really want to go to the Fair! (Close-up; she lets plenty of petulance into her voice.) Apparently we’re too young to go alone. (Pout.)
(Longer shot: the blue pegasus has been at the edge of the clouds on which her house is built.)
Rainbow: (flying down, hovering before them) Well, duh. Young ponies like you could get lost and never find your way back. But I still can’t go. Being a Wonderbolt isn’t just about showing off. It’s also a responsibility. You’ll understand when you get older. (flying back up) I’m sure you’ll find somepony else to take you.
(The youngsters plod away. Wipe to a close-up of Applejack tending a pot of soup on the stove in the kitchen of the Sweet Apple Acres house/barn. She dips out a ladleful and transfers it to a bowl she holds.)
Applejack: I wish I could, sugar cube—
(Longer shot: the Crusaders are here, pleading gazes and all, and she shifts the bowl and a spoon onto a tray.)
Applejack: —but Big Mac’s not feelin’ well today. (Exit toward the living room.)
Bloom: (as the Crusaders follow her) Awww, but Big Mac’s old enough to take care of himself, and…we’d all have so much fun together.
(They arrive at the sickbed—or rather, sick-couch—of the ailing red workhorse, who has covered himself with an apple-patterned blanket and removed his hitching collar.)
Applejack: (sitting by him) Sometimes taking care of somepony is more important than havin’ fun.
(She bites down on the spoon handle, loads it up, and offers it to Macintosh. He strains to lift his head and bring teeth and tongue within tasting distance, but before he can get even a drop of the soup, Applejack drops the lot and rounds on the Crusaders with fresh suspicion.)
Applejack: Speakin’ of which— (Macintosh pouts.) —don’t you even think about tryin’ to go without a grown pony there to take care of you. You could end up in hot water, or worse.
Bloom: (crushed) We know.
(All three fillies trudge out, heads so low they could almost use their chins to sweep the floor. Wipe to them on the move through Ponyville proper.)
Scootaloo: The Fair could be over before we find somepony to take us! (All smile.)
Bloom: But then we thought of you, since the Fair will be full of all sorts of animals and creatures.
(Zoom out. They have been addressing Fluttershy, who is walking a few paces ahead.)
Fluttershy: I’m sorry, but Twilight has an important magical research project, and she’s asked for my help. (Shock registers on all three young faces.)
Sweetie: I guess that means Twilight’s busy too?
(Cut to a close-up of Twilight Sparkle, lowering a book from eye level in her aura.)
Twilight: I’m afraid I am.
(Pan slightly to bring a faintly glowing flower into view, hovering within an irregularly shaped transparent crystal case that stands on a small table, as she continues. It has seen better days, judging by its drooping stem and the fact that all but two of the petals have bid adieu. The survivors are a deep pinkish-violet, stippled with dark purple spots and edged in pale blue.)
Twilight: Starswirl sent me this enchanted flower and it isn’t doing well.
(An overhead shot puts her, Fluttershy, and the Crusaders in the throne room of the Castle of Friendship. A pile of books has been deposited on the floor by the closed doors, and a movable chalkboard covered with notes and diagrams is over by the wall.)
Twilight: (pacing, studying book) If I figure out its magical properties, maybe we can save it. (Close-up of a pouting Scootaloo.)
Scootaloo: So that’s a no on going with us to the Fair? (Pan to Bloom.)
Bloom: We’ve already asked Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity, and none of them can come! (Pout with big sad eyes; pan to Sweetie.)
Sweetie: And everypony made it clear we’re too young to go on our own!
(She adds her pout; now both mares look up with a measure of alarm, Fluttershy crossing to Twilight on the next line.)
Twilight: Oh, definitely. You could take the wrong train, or miss your stop—
Fluttershy: —or get lost in a strange town and end up in a dangerous situation with nopony to help you! (She gnaws a hoof.)
Crusaders: (wearily, rolling eyes) We know!
Twilight: (floating book away, hunching down to them) I know it’s hard, but sometimes you just can’t do what you want.
Scootaloo: I’m pretty sure if you wanted to go to the Fair, you could.
Twilight: (straightening up, closing book, smiling gently) Sure, grownups can do a lot of things that foals can’t. But there’s plenty we can’t do either. (annoyed, consulting book) Like right now, I can’t find a single reference to this flower! (Shut it; Fluttershy eyes it closely.)
Fluttershy: None of the birds or insects I’ve talked to have heard of it, either.
Twilight: (propelling book away) I wonder if there’s anything in Shadetail Evergreen’s Tome of Flora and Fauna.
Fluttershy: That book’s pretty out of date, but it might be worth a try. (She and Twilight head for an open exit on the following.)
Twilight: I think there’s a copy in the library filed under” Discontinued but Still Potentially Useful Ancient Texts.” (Her field pushes the door farther open.) Unless I put it under “Hokum with a Slight Chance of Practical Applications.”
(The fillies are left alone with the odd bit of plant life.)
Bloom: I guess this flower’s the most interestin’ thing we’re gonna see today. (Pout.)
Scootaloo: (crossing to her) Unless you count watching Twilight struggle to remember how she organizes her books.
Sweetie: (ditto) I bet everypony in Equestria is in Appleloosa right now!
Bloom: Everypony but us.
(All three flop glumly onto their haunches; close-up of Scootaloo.)
Scootaloo: I wish we didn’t have to wait to grow up.
(She turns away with forelegs crossed, not seeing a brief flare of light from one flower petal. Pan to Bloom on the next line.)
Bloom: I wish it would happen all at once! Then we’d know everything we need to get to the Fair and back with no problem.
(Her grumpy expression matches Scootaloo’s as the pulse repeats itself. Zoom out to frame Sweetie on the next line.)
Sweetie: I just wish we were as old as our sisters. (Close-up; the light is illuminating her face.) Then nopony could tell us what to do, and we’d be able to take care of ourselves. (Another brightness boost, this one sustained, as she hangs her head.)
Scootaloo: from o.s.) Hey, Sweetie Belle.
(The green eyes open in surprise; cut to the young pegasus.)
Scootaloo: Why’s your face all lit up?
(Her jaw and Sweetie’s fall open once they turn their attention back to the flower, which disappears under a blaze of blinding white light. Zoom out to a long overhead shot of the throne room, the fillies staring around themselves in confusion and whimpering fearfully as tendrils of deep pink radiance swirl out from the vortex to envelop them. With no warning, enormous blue-violet petals with pale edges fold upward from the floor to enclose all three in a single growth not unlike a folded-up water lily blossom. The light slowly fades away, and the oversized petals begin to peel open while one from the actual flower continues to glow white. Bloom is the first to gain her hooves in close-up, moaning woozily and rubbing her head—and with her bow appearing to have shrunk a size or two. Sweetie and Scootaloo do likewise in turn, the camera zooming out slightly to frame all three in full and shed more light on the change: all three are now adults, with grown-out manes/tails and the appropriate height boost. The appearance of Bloom’s shrinking bow is accounted for by the growth of her head, while Scootaloo’s wings have not changed in size and now seem disproportionately small on her flanks. The remnants of the giant flora have vanished by the time the former fillies take in the sudden transformation; the glowing petal goes dormant, detaches from the plant, and falls to shatter into dust at the bottom of its container. Three more gasps, these in unison; when they speak, their voices are a note deeper and more mature than normal to reflect the age jump.)
Scootaloo: Do you know what this means?
Crusaders: (beaming) We can go to the Fair!
(They attempt a three-way high five, but the elevation change throws them off enough to leave the hooves tangled up in midair instead of clacking solidly together. After a bit of sheepish giggling, they get the celebratory gesture right and the view fades to black.)
Act Two
(Opening shot: fade in to the outskirts of Ponyville, the Castle and School of Friendship visible in the distance. Scootaloo’s laugh precedes her arrival over a rise in the path, riding her scooter with her crash helmet strapped on, and the passersby aim confused/irritated looks after her. Their mood is not helped by the galloping passage of Bloom and Sweetie, the latter with saddlebags on back; cut to these two.)
Bloom: (to Sweetie) I hope you brought the tickets! We gotta hurry if we’re gonna make the train!
Sweetie: I think we’ll be fine! Check out how fast we’re going! (Cut briefly to her perspective of her own forelegs, then back.) Grownup legs are strong.
Scootaloo: (from o.s.) You’re not kidding!
(Up ahead, she spares a very worried glance for her scooter’s wheels, which have begun to wobble badly on the axles.)
Scootaloo: I don’t know how much of this my scooter can take!
(But that does not stop her from kicking off against the ground to keep her speed up; bystanders move out of the road with shocked gasps.)
Bloom: And nopony yelled at us to slow down even once! (Laugh.) Bein’ a grownup is great!
(They put on a burst of acceleration. Cut to a close-up of a pocket watch being held up, its hands ticking off the final seconds to 2:00, and zoom out quickly. It belongs to a conductor at the Ponyville train station, and after checking it against the clock tower in the distance, he puts it away and prepares to board the train. Here come the Crusaders at full tilt, Sweetie telekinetically flipping their tickets to him as they barrel through the door he is holding open. The whistle sounds and the train pulls away from the platform; cut to inside as the three flop onto a seat with immensely relieved sighs. Scootaloo has shed her scooter and helmet, and Sweetie no longer carries her saddlebags.)
Sweetie: We made it!
Bloom: Of course we did! We’re grownup ponies now. (standing up, throwing forelegs wide) We can do anything! And all those worries Twilight and the others had don’t apply anymore— (Zoom in slowly.) —because we’re big! And bein’ big is all it takes.
Cheery mandolin/percussion melody with handclaps, brisk 4 (D major)
(The entire view slides upward and is replaced by a pan across a bedroom, the sunrise visible through a window and the wallpaper patterned with the central elements of the trio’s cutie marks. Pan to their filly selves, waking up in a single jumbo bed.)
Crusaders: Woke up this morning feeling tired and small
(They stand and throw off the blanket; as it falls away, the view changes to the newly minted adults marching proudly down the aisle of the train car.)
But look at us now, we must be ninety feet tall
(They leap and twirl among the seats, then high-five one another in a circle.)
Don’t have to worry ’bout making mistakes
Woodwind flourish; bass guitar in
Because being big is all it takes
Acoustic guitar in; handclaps out
(Scootaloo breaks out her scooter and helmet to do a spinning wheelie, followed by a charge down the length of the car that generates some consternation.)
Scootaloo: A tiny twist of fate brought on this big change
Gimme room, gotta zoom, I’ve got plans to arrange
(Toss the scooter aside.)
Can do what I want, be it run, trot, or traipse
(She winks to a crying infant being bottle-fed by its mother, prompting a confident smile.)
’Cause being big is all it takes
Horns in
(The Crusaders trot together, helmet/scooter gone.)
Crusaders: Being big isn’t just a size
(Pan quickly to them tucked into one large bed that floats against a starry expanse; they pull themselves out from the blankets and bounce on the mattress.)
At bedtime we don’t even have to close our eyes
(The bed grows three steering wheels, which they use to steer a tight turn around the planet and o.s.)
We’re in control now, for goodness’ sake
(Now free of the furniture, they rise as giants over the surface, accompanied by a spray of stars in vivid hues.)
’Cause being big is all it takes
Horns out; piano, strings in
(Sweetie jumps clear; cut to the train car aisle, where she promptly hip-checks her younger counterpart away.)
Sweetie: Leaving behind the little pony you’ve known
(She appropriates a top hat and walking stick from a passenger and gives the latter item a deft twirl.)
Stepping out, growing up, making moves of my own
(Ditching the formal gear and putting her face to a window, she sees a second copy of herself soaring over the landscape and passing each named bit of terrain.)
You can’t tell me no, there’s no place I can’t go
Mountains, cities, jungles, or lakes
(This last sends her off a cliff and into the depths to ride on the back of a whale.)
’Cause being big is all it takes
(The aquatic mammal curves past the camera. Behind it, wipe to an amusement park ride attendant refusing to let a couple of colts board because they do not meet the minimum height requirement. Here come the Crusaders, who clearly do; they are allowed onto the ride, a roller coaster, which immediately zooms off.)
Horns in
Crusaders: Being big isn’t just a size
(Bloom stands at a lectern, wearing a tasseled mortarboard cap and holding a rolled diploma. Zoom out; she is on a stage and flanked by a capped Scootaloo and Sweetie on one side and two capped/gowned professor types on the other.)
We’ll tell you our opinion ’cause we’re oh-so-wise
(The three friends throw their caps upward; behind the spinning edges, the view shifts to them wearing dark grey berets and working on a movie set. Bloom directs, giving instructions through a megaphone; Scootaloo works a clapper board; Sweetie runs the camera, using her magic to adjust the angle. The scene being filmed is from the prologue, with younger lookalikes acting out the parts.)
We’re in control now, for goodness’ sake
(winking) ’Cause being big is all it takes
Piano out; woodwinds in
(Pan quickly to Scootaloo, walking through a kitchen and swiping a bag of candy that a filly has been trying to pull down from a high shelf. She tears it open with her teeth and gobbles away, earning a sour glare from the younger pony.)
Scootaloo: I can eat all the snacks ’cause that’s for me to decide
(Pan quickly to Bloom, lounging above an open furnace hatch in a train locomotive. She twiddles a few controls and vacates the spot just ahead of an engineer, who shakes an angry hoof in her direction.)
Bloom: We know how it all works, even what we ain’t tried
(Pan quickly to the classroom in the Ponyville schoolhouse. Bloom passes a stack of books and an apple to Scootaloo, who in turn gives them over to Sweetie’s field; the unicorn dumps them into a waiting trash can in full view of the students at their desks.)
Sweetie: Facts don’t matter now, ’cause it’s not what we know
(Twist raises a hoof to ask a question, but the three quickly face her down, Bloom holding a pointer rod.)
We can win any argument with
A cappella
Crusaders: “Because I say so”
Full instrumentation in with handclaps
(Pan quickly to the train car; they climb over one seat after another, getting on the other riders’ nerves in a very big hurry.)
Crusaders: Can’t stop us now, don’t try to stand in our way
(They bound and gambol in a meadow filled with flowers and butterflies.)
We’re awake, gonna take all we can from today
(Pan quickly to the clubhouse; their filly selves are being lectured by Twilight/Applejack/Rainbow/Rarity, but even larger copies of the adult Crusaders arrive with megaphones to stop these four in their tracks.)
Once we had to listen, now you’ll hear what we say
(Overhead shot of the three lying on their backs in the meadow; zoom in, the camera rotating at the same time.)
Everything is always okay
(The train caboose; they step out onto its rear platform, getting stuck in the doorway for a tick.)
’Cause being big is all it takes
All it takes
Song ends in time with a three-way high five
(Cut to a train station that is no more than a platform and ticket booth constructed at the edge of a dismal swamp under a queasy greenish-brown sky. The train pulls in, stops for the briefest instant, and rolls out as if trying to get shut of the place without spending more than the barest minimum of time in it. Three very confused Crusaders are left standing on the planks, and Scootaloo’s gut emits a warning rumble.)
Scootaloo: I think I ate too many snacks.
Sweetie: Uh, this doesn’t look like Appleloosa.
Gravelly stallion voice: That’s because it isn’t!
(A door in the side of the booth creaks open, the suddenly apprehensive mares edging away from it.)
Bloom: Y-You all heard that, right?
(Scootaloo and Sweetie nod, and the camera cuts to the booth end as Sweetie eases toward it.)
Sweetie: Uh, hello? (to Bloom/Scootaloo as they follow) Do you think we got on the wrong train?
Scootaloo: I thought trains just took you where you wanted to go.
(The mystery voice breaks into a peal of deranged laughter as the camera zooms out to frame its owner—the same decrepit old stallion who ran the Peaks of Peril train station in “Sounds of Silence,” now standing where they had been. The Crusaders scream at his presence, Scootaloo clutching at Bloom and Sweetie very nearly toppling off the platform’s edge.)
Ticket seller: (approaching slowly) Sorry, I don’t mean to laugh, but you three must not travel much. This is Hayseed Junction. The train to Appleloosa isn’t for a few hours. (Lean close; they recoil from the ravaged face.) Or you could set off on hoof.
(A frightened glance across the tracks presents them with a path that disappears into murky darkness among the unchecked trees and weeds.)
Ticket seller: It’s treacherous, and confusing. Unfit for the young or timid. (He drops his creepy tone and addresses them more normally.) Eh, but you three are grownups. You’ll be fine. (stepping into booth) I-I’ll write down some directions.
(Once the door has closed, Bloom motions for the other two to gather in and the camera cuts to point up at their faces in a huddle.)
Sweetie: Maybe we should wait for the train.
Scootaloo: And miss the Fair?
Sweetie: We already ended up in the wrong place, which is exactly what we were warned about. And…what if we can’t follow the directions?
(Scootaloo risks a glance toward the booth; cut to the ticket seller, who is putting the finishing touches on a map that fills one sheet of paper and starting in on a second. Zoom out from him to frame the Crusaders, now all really concerned, then cut back to within their huddle.)
Bloom: Come on. We didn’t come all this way for nothin’. Besides, I’ve been through a swamp as a young pony. As a grownup, it’ll be a snap.
(Referring to the events of “Somepony to Watch Over Me.” All three smile and break the huddle.)
Scootaloo: Grownups always know the way.
Sweetie: Because being big is all it takes!
(The old stallion turns from his work with a prolonged, unhinged laugh, having extended his map onto a third sheet. This is followed by a fit of hacking coughs, but he remedies this by pulling out an asthma inhaler and sucking down a blast. It goes back in his pocket once he is breathing normally.)
Ticket seller: (crossing to Crusaders with maps) Sorry. I’ve got kind of a throat thing.
(Sweetie takes the pages, and the mares nervously exit the platform after a brief study. Dissolve to a slow tilt down from the shaggy trees to frame them on a path through the marshlands. They pause so Sweetie can shuffle the maps in her aura and consider their next move at the fork they have just reached. She chooses a path that leads into light rather than shadow, and on they go. A wipe shifts the action to a line of stepping stones that lead across the murky water, one with a splotchy yellow coloration. Sweetie leads the way across these; she and Bloom hop neatly from one to the next, but Scootaloo slips on this last and ends up flat on her belly. It rises slightly to expose several glaring black eyes with red-orange whites and the curve of a closed, scowling mouth—not too different from the froglike bufogren that Rainbow and Rarity encountered in “The End in Friend.” This one, though, sends up a soft warning growl that prompts Scootaloo to scramble upright with a cry and dive into the swamp. It submerges completely once she has splashed down.)
(Dissolve to Bloom and Sweetie proceeding with caution along a new path. As the unicorn walks point, the earth pony gets her face caught in a loop of vines; she pulls it away, only to yank down several more yards of the tough growths and wind up completely entangled. An attempt to pull free causes them to snap back and yank her clear of the ground. Another dissolve frames Sweetie in a profile close-up; she is so intent on reading the maps that it takes her a moment to stop and register a glutinous bubbling from ground level. Zoom out; she has walked directly into an expanse of mud, and she scuttles back and forth while getting two sheets stuck on her hooves and trampling the third into the mire.)
(A clump of trees drifts past the camera, the view wiping behind it to a befouled and bedraggled Scootaloo coming around a turn on a different route. A hard full-body shake dislodges quite a lot of water from her coat, but does nothing to shift the smears of mud.)
Scootaloo: (clapping water out of one ear) Sweetie Belle, are you sure this is the right way?
(Nervous looks in all directions tell her that no other pony is anywhere in the vicinity. The wind sings mirthlessly through the trees, causing a branch to creak.)
Scootaloo: Sweetie Belle?
(She moves ahead, arriving at a patch of bushes just as the unicorn in question pops her head up. They have their backs to each other at the moment, and Sweetie has fared little better in the grooming department.)
Sweetie: Scootaloo? (Scootaloo spots her, screams, and topples backward to the ground.)
Scootaloo: Don’t do that!
(Sweetie climbs out of the undergrowth and exerts her magic to set her friend upright. The soiled maps are gone.)
Bloom: (from o.s.) Girls?
(As two pairs of very scared eyes scan the area, the camera zooms out to frame the third Crusader—still hanging from the vines and now just as filthy and disheveled as they are. Sweetie’s magic snaps the bonds, dumping her to the earth.)
Bloom: M-Maybe we should head back to the station. (She shakes off the scraps of vines and stands up.)
Sweetie: I’m not sure we can. (Hunch down, hooves to temples.) I think we’re lost. (Scootaloo follows suit.)
Scootaloo: Just like Twilight and the others said!
(The sound of a filly’s voice, not too far off, stops their mutual shivers and brings them to their hooves.)
Filly voice: Well, where were you when I was feeding and caring for him?
(All three set out toward the source; cut to their perspective, Bloom pushing some foliage out of the way to reveal two foals. The speaker, Spur, is a dark brown pegasus filly who wears her mane/tail in ringlets that are two shades of blue-green. The eyes are a third variant of this color, marked by birdcatcher spots at the outer corners and across the bridge of the nose, and a yellow kerchief is tied around her neck. Her folded wings hide her cutie mark for the moment. The other, holding a wooden box, is Biscuit—deep pinkish-red earth pony colt, light brown eyes, short untidy mane/tail in three shades of blue, cutie mark of a cookie with a bite taken out. A sliver of white shirt collar can be seen around his neck, but most of it is hidden by the box, whose hinged lid incorporates a lattice; the sides have decorative patterns of their own. Biscuit cries out in fear and backs off a step as Spur places herself between the Crusaders and the container.)
Biscuit: Wild swamp ponies!
(Overhead shot of the area; a couple of passing, rustically dressed locals stop briefly and give the foals a disdainful eye.)
Swamp dwellers: Hmph! (They carry on.)
Sweetie: (to Biscuit/Spur, as Crusaders emerge from bushes) We’re not wild swamp ponies! We’re just grownups!
Scootaloo: And we are definitely not lost.
(She goes flat on her face, prompting the young pair to trade highly suspicious glances. On the next line, Biscuit shifts his grip enough to show that his collar is secured by a short string tie with a star clip.)
Spur: Okay, but that swamp is pretty confusing if you’re not from around here. I’m Spur, and this is Biscuit.
(The box starts to vibrate and emit squeaking noises—an animal carrier whose cargo is getting a bit antsy, perhaps.)
Bloom: I’m Apple Bloom. Nice to meet you. But, uh, we’re not confused, we’re just… (thinking fast) …explorin’ new ways to Appleloosa.
Biscuit: (walking along trail) Hey! That’s where we’re going!
Spur: No, it isn’t!
Sweetie: Uh, which is it?
Spur: Biscuit thinks he can just take Bloofy here to the Fair. (Biscuit stops.)
Biscuit: Why not? It’s just up the road, and Bloofy’s my pet too.
Spur: (flying to him, taking carrier) Since when? Bloofy’s never even seen a crowd—which you’d know if you ever took care of him.
(The flight exposes her cutie mark—a cowboy boot with an attached spur.)
Biscuit: (snatching it back) Did you ever think meeting all those ponies might be good for him?
(Bloom steps up for a look in through the lid. Cut to the interior of the carrier, the camera aimed up at her through the lattice; soft coos drift up, and a tuft of bluish-pink fur protrudes into view. The whatever-it-is begins to whirl madly in place; back to Bloom, Biscuit, and Spur as wisps of dust drift up.)
Bloom: He seems okay meetin’ us. (She turns away.)
Biscuit: (smugly, to Spur) See? They’re grownups, and they get it. (to Crusaders) Bloofy should totally come to the Fair with me, right?
Spur: (taking carrier, hovering) Y’all don’t really think that, do you?
Sweetie: Um…hold on. Us grownups need to confer.
(By this point, the mud is gone from said grownups’ coats/manes, but the general air of untidiness remains. They turn away; as on the Hayseed Junction station platform, cut to frame their faces from below in a huddle.)
Sweetie: What do you girls think?
Scootaloo: If they go to the Fair, we can tag along.
Bloom: And Spur probably should share Bloofy. I-I mean, that’s somethin’ a grownup would say, right?
(Her tentative grin is met by smiling nods from the other two, and they break the huddle and turn back to the foals.)
Sweetie: As grownup ponies, we think you should share Bloofy and let Biscuit take him to the Fair.
(The colt whisks the carrier away.)
Biscuit: That is some quality grownup advice! (He starts off down the road, followed by Sweetie and then Scootaloo; Bloom hangs back.)
Spur: But Bloofy’s never been around anything that exciting! What if something goes wrong?
Bloom: (nudging her) We’re headed to the Fair too. Since we’re such great advice-givers, feel free to ask us for more.
(She trots to catch up, followed by a very uneasy Spur on the wing. Dissolve to a close-up of the Crusaders’ hind legs in motion and zoom out/tilt up to put them at the edge of the grounds for the Appleloosa County Fair, as seen in their advertisement during the prologue. It is just as stuffed with rides and games and attractions as that sheet suggested, and ponies are already flitting excitedly from one to another. The mares’ appearances are now fully back in order. At one stall, a customer throws a horseshoe onto a peg and is rewarded with a stuffed Ursa Minor toy nearly twice her size; pan quickly to another area, where ponies scope out their comically distorted reflections in funhouse mirrors and munch various treats on sticks. Another such pan brings a dunk tank into view, where Trouble Shoes—the massive pony who found his calling as a rodeo clown in “Appleoosa’s Most Wanted”—is taking a turn as the potential victim. A colt throws a ball at the target but falls well short—and then the bench on which Trouble is sitting collapses under his weight and drops him into the water. He smiles while the colt and the spectators laugh.)
(The Crusaders can barely contain their glee, Scootaloo’s wings buzzing in top gear for good measure.)
Sweetie: (laughing, hugging Bloom/Scootaloo) It’s everything I thought it’d be!
(Pan from them to Biscuit and Spur. Bloofy begins to screech and fuss within his carrier like an alley cat ready to throw down, very nearly flipping open the lid of his carrier. Biscuit claps it shut as a mare approaches with great interest.)
Mare: Well, my goodness, what an interesting critter! You should enter him in the Animal Showcase! You’d be sure to win Most Interesting Creature. (She departs.)
Biscuit: (smiling) Animal Showcase? That’s exactly what we should do!
Spur: That seems like a bad idea. (to the o.s. Crusaders) What do you grownups think?
(No answer, and a zoom out tells the reason: the newly minted adults have cleared out. Pan quickly to them galloping and giggling down the midway, followed by Spur in the throes of a full-scale panic, then to the three at a “high striker” game. Bloom takes the mallet handle in her teeth and delivers a mighty blow, sending the weight all the way up to ring the bell at the top. The crowd cheers her success and carries her away over their heads; Spur flies into view looking for the Crusaders, only for them to race giggling past her. Brown wings beat furiously to propel her after them.)
(Pan quickly to a ride similar to a Ferris wheel, with separate carriages mounted at the outer ends of long petal-shaped spokes. The Crusaders charge around a corner toward this, pursued more slowly by Spur on hoof, and are completely unfazed by the attendant at the admission gate. However, this pony stops Spur from following them in and points to an oversized ruler showing the minimum height needed to ride, which she does not even come close to meeting even with an assist from her wings. The attendant shakes his head as jubilant whoops float down from the airborne Crusaders, and Spur can only aim two baffled eyes up into the sky.)
(Dissolve to the trio enjoying an assortment of Fair fare, including a helping of cotton candy held in Sweetie’s aura. They stop in their tracks as soon as Spur plants herself in their way, the sugary fluff falling off its paper cone.)
Spur: (angrily, hovering) What happened to being able to ask your advice? You ran off the second we got here!
(She lands and shoots them a venomous glare; Scootaloo swallows her mouthful as Bloom looks around herself.)
Bloom: Where’s Biscuit and Bloofy?
Spur: That’s why I came to find you!
(Dissolve to the exterior of the stadium that was constructed as part of the Appleloosa buckball complex in “Common Ground,” serving as a venue for Fair events. An airborne Spur leads the Crusaders toward one entrance as the camera zooms in slowly; from here, cut to her perspective, traveling down a tunnel and onto the field that has been set up for a plethora of events in the Animal Showcase. In close-up, Biscuit has set the carrier down on one table and is busily filling out a form. Spur’s voice startles him into letting the pencil drop from his mouth; pan to frame her and the Crusaders, all on the ground, as she speaks.)
Spur: It’s one thing to bring Bloofy to the Fair— (stomping for emphasis) —but it’s another to stick him in a showcase!
Biscuit: (lifting carrier; Bloofy stirs) What’s the big deal?
Sweetie: You’re supposed to be sharing him.
Scootaloo: Yeah, I’m with Biscuit. (rising to hind legs) The Showcase looks like fun. (Biscuit sits and tries to keep hold on the now-wildly jittering box.)
Spur: (sarcastically) Sorry if I think taking care of Bloofy is more important than having fun!
Biscuit: (standing) Bloofy’s just excited. He probably just wants to get out.
(The container is set down on the ground and the lid opened. The tuft of bliuish-pink fur Bloom spotted rises into view, attached to the top of an oval head with a paler face, small round eyes black as oil drops, and a snaggle tooth protruding from the upper lip. The interior surfaces of his outsized ears are the same color as his face, and the rest of his body proves to be covered with long fur in the same shade as his head tuft when he hops out with a bird-like cluck. Overall, Bloofy looks something like a small, shaggy dog with a stubby tail. He begins to sniff inquisitively at the ground, then follows Biscuit away.)
Bloom: (to Spur) Are you sure you’re not just upset you have to share him? What if you took a little break?
Spur: You mean like…leave?
Sweetie: If sharing him is too hard, that might be the best thing. Take our word for it. We are grownups.
(Exeunt the Crusaders, leaving one very disconcerted pegasus filly in their wake.)
Bloom: (to Scootaloo/Sweetie) I don’t know what Spur’s so worried about. Bloofy and Biscuit are havin’ fun.
Scootaloo: Yeah! What could go wrong?
(They watch Biscuit coax Bloofy through a course of hoops, ramps, and jumps from one platform to another. The fluffy critter earns a round of cheers at the end, his eyes dilating slightly as sweat begins to run down the pale face; as the crowd response ratchets up, so too do his own. Suddenly, Bloofy starts to spin in place so rapidly that he becomes a whirling blur of circulating winds, which grows and grows until it towers over every single pony in attendance. His head protrudes from the upper end, remaining perfectly normal even during a headlong charge for the exits, while the Crusaders can only stare at the force of nature that has just blown its cork.)
Scootaloo: Me and my big grownup mouth.
(Fade to black.)
Act Three
(Opening shot: fade in to a ground-level shot of the field. A few ponies flee screaming before the advance of the tornado that is Bloofy, but others get sucked into the maelstrom along with a few loose items and livestock. The next five lines are delivered in raised voices.)
Bloom: Do you think this qualifies as “gettin’ into a dangerous situation with no grown pony to help us”?
Sweetie: I think we’re the grown ponies that need to be helping today!
(Instead of wasting her breath on words, Scootaloo puts it to use fueling a gallop over a cart stocked with lollipops. She seizes one in her teeth and races back to the epicenter, leaving Sweetie to levitate a coin to the hapless vendor. Cut to the so-called adult pegasus’ perspective, waving the candy into view toward Bloofy.)
Scootaloo: (singsong) Bloofy! Treats, treats, treats! (Long shot; he lurches toward her.) Who wants a treat?
(The air currents wrench it from her grip and come within an ace of pulling her in as well, stopped only by Bloom and Sweetie rushing in to pin her down. Bloofy catches the lollipop in his mouth, letting the stick protrude as his shadow falls over a terrified Biscuit. Now Sweetie gets it in gear, sprinting across the grass to grab him and teleport them both away; they materialize behind/within a pile of hay bales as the other two Crusaders dive for cover here.)
Biscuit: What do we do now? (The bales are ripped away.)
Crusaders: RUN!!
(They bug out; it takes him a moment to catch on and do likewise. Wipe to a train pulling out from a station with a cheerful toot of its whistle; the departure reveals Twilight and Fluttershy heading for one end of the platform, the Princess carrying the magic flower in her saddlebags—crystal case and all—and reading her book held at eye level with horn-power. The apples worked into the architecture give the location away as Appleloosa.)
Fluttershy: I hope you’re right about the girls coming here. (They start down a street amid fleeing/screaming residents.)
Twilight: Well, once we read Shadetail Evergreen’s warning that the flower grants wishes, it wasn’t a stretch to think they wished themselves to the Fair. It’s all they were talking about.
(She has taken no notice of the tumult, engrossed as she is in her reading, but Fluttershy has gotten a good clear eyeful and earful. They stop.)
Fluttershy: (increasingly unnerved) Or maybe since we told them they were too young to come, they wished to become grownups, then came here and caused some kind of trouble that led to a town-wide panic!
(Twilight lowers the literature and throws her a questioning look, but a light yellow hoof pointed ahead fills her in. They are on a ridge overlooking the Fair site, including the chaos in the stadium.)
Twilight: (closing book, tucking it in bags) Yeah, or that.
Bloom: (from o.s.) Twilight! Fluttershy! (galloping to them, dropping to haunches) Oh, thank goodness! (Scootaloo and Sweetie arrive, followed by Biscuit.) I know you’re not gonna believe it, but it’s me, Apple Bloom!
Scootaloo: And I’m Scootaloo. We kinda got turned into grownups. (Bloom stands.)
Sweetie: And we thought we could take the train here since we were old enough, but we ended up in the wrong place just like you said we would!
Bloom: And got lost!
Scootaloo: Just like you said we would.
Bloom: Then we met these foals who led us to the Fair and we tried to give them some grownup-style advice, but it turned their pet into a tornado that might destroy the whole town!
(Dry sidewise glances pass between the two real adults on this desert plain; the one who knows her way around animals allows herself a fed-up eye roll before both of them start forward. Wipe to Force Ten Bloofy rampaging through the thoroughly trashed stadium field as the five enter through one of its tunnels.)
Fluttershy: Goodness! (Cut to Bloofy’s face, no longer chomping the lollipop stick; she continues o.s.) A whirling mungtooth! (Back to the group.) They are very rare, and just the cutest little things when they’re not excited.
(A cart full of fruit slams into the wall, barely missing them and leaving a splatter of its contents on the wood.)
Fluttershy: (hastily) This one’s excited. (Their perspective of Bloofy.)
Scootaloo: How do we calm him down? (The group again.)
Fluttershy: When they’re young, a mungtooth forms a tight bond with its caretaker. They’re the only ones who can get them to stop spinning. (All eyes turn to Biscuit.)
Biscuit: Spur’s the one who really took care of Bloofy. We have to find her!
Twilight: (to him and Crusaders) You all go look for Spur. Fluttershy and I will do our best to keep everypony here safe.
(She teleports herself away as Fluttershy lifts off and the other four pelt along the tunnel. A snack stand is uprooted in the gale-force winds, leaving no cover for the three foals who had taken shelter behind it; Twilight poofs in here, throws up a force field around them and herself, and teleports them off the field. Fluttershy makes a very lucky catch of an airborne lamb, sets it down, and pats its head reassuringly before it and several other animals book it through the tunnel. Right on cue, here come the Crusaders, Biscuit, and Spur, the last of whom is completely flabbergasted by the tempest raging up and down the field.)
Spur: That’s Bloofy? (Twilight teleports over to the group.)
Biscuit: I’m so sorry, Spur. You knew what was best for him all along.
Bloom: And even though we seemed like grownups, you were way more responsible than us.
Spur: What do you mean, “seemed like grownups”?
Sweetie: Uh…we don’t have time to explain. Right now we have to stop this, and you’re the only one who can do it.
Spur: How?
Fluttershy: I’ll show you. (laying a hoof across her back, passing her Bloofy’s carrier) He mostly just needs to see you.
(The filly lifts off hesitantly toward the head end of her pet’s cyclone.)
Spur: (soothingly) Hey there, Bloofy-poo.
(He turns to face her; now Fluttershy has joined her in midair.)
Spur: It’s okay.
(She opens the lid gingerly, as if the box were filled with old dynamite ready to blow her to kingdom come and back, and dives in. The tornado dissipates almost immediately, leaving her holding the original-sized Bloofy in one foreleg and the box in the other. He nuzzles Spur with a happy little squeak and climbs in; at ground level, she and Fluttershy rejoin the others, the lid now closed.)
Spur: How did you know what to do?
Fluttershy: After years of experience with animals, I’ve picked up a few things.
(She tips a knowing smile to the other four youngsters—one normal-sized, three artificially bigger than life—who all have the good sense to display a healthy measure of chagrin. Dissolve to the seven stepping up onto the platform at the Appleloosa train station. Spur is carrying Bloofy in the carrier, lid open and a blue ribbon attached to the front.)
Spur: Well, one thing’s for sure. (Close-up.) Bloofy definitely earned the Most Interesting Creature prize.
Biscuit: (contritely, as Bloofy shuts himself in) I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you.
Bloom: (from o.s.) We all are.
(Zoom out to frame the Crusaders on the end of this.)
Spur: I guess grownups aren’t always perfect.
Twilight: They sure aren’t. (pointedly, to Crusaders) But young foals pretending to be grownups are even less so. (Stung, they let their heads drop.)
Spur: (perplexed) What do you mean?
(The Princess’s power extracts the enchanted plant within its case from her saddlebag.)
Twilight: There’s only one petal left, but I think the three of you know what to wish for. (smiling) And I’m pretty sure Starswirl won’t mind.
(She sets it down before the ersatz mares.)
Crusaders: (glumly) We wish we were foals again.
(As when they made their wish in Act One, a swirl of blinding white light and deep pink wisps flares up, and a giant blue-violet water lily forms and folds its petals up around them. When the boiling energy dissipates and the blossom reopens, the Crusaders are back to their original dimensions and voices and all small and large traces of the magic flower have vanished for good. Biscuit and Spur are taken aback by the instant de-aging, which has left the Crusaders a fair bit shorter than they are.)
Biscuit: Hold on. You three are actually younger than us?
Sweetie: The flower turned us into grownups, so…we figured we could do whatever we wanted, but I guess that’s not exactly true.
Bloom: We did everything real grownups told us not to and caused all kinds of trouble.
Scootaloo: And things could’ve been a lot worse. I guess we were pretty selfish.
Twilight: I’m glad you learned something. That’s what growing up is—which is why you probably shouldn’t skip any of it.
Sweetie: (to Biscuit/Spur) I know we didn’t make the best impression, but we sure would like to visit you and Bloofy someday. (The two trade neutral glances.)
Spur: (as Bloofy peeks out to chitter a bit) I guess that’d be okay, on one condition. (She and Biscuit smile.) You get a real grownup to bring you.
Crusaders: Deal!
(All seven share a hearty laugh. Zoom out slowly and fade to black.)
THE BIG MAC QUESTION
Written by Josh Haber, Michael Vogel
Produced by Devon Cody
Story editing by Josh Haber
Supervising direction by Jim Miller
Directed by Denny Lu, Mike Myhre
Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)
Note: All lines marked with one asterisk (*) are spoken directly to the camera.
Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to a close-up of a downcast Spike, a patch of bushes serving as a backdrop. A sliver of daytime sky is visible above the leaves.)
* Spike: (sighing heavily) I just wanted everything to be perfect. I mean, this was a big deal. But when Discord insists on being involved…
(Cut to Discord, backed by a different expanse of greenery and looking a touch put out.)
* Discord: Regardless of what Spike might say, that little dragon begged me to help. And let me tell you, he can cause plenty of chaos all on his purple lonesome.
(To Mrs. Cake, similarly disposed.)
* Mrs. Cake: I pride myself on baking under pressure, but I just…oh, dear.
(A deflated shake of the blue head; cut to the Cutie Mark Crusaders in yet another spot.)
* Apple Bloom: You’d think we’d be used to stuff like this in Ponyville.
* Sweetie Belle: I still have nightmares. (To Spike.)
* Spike: (sighing) It seemed simple when it started.
(The scene undergoes a wavering dissolve to leave him standing in the same position, but now under a tree in the Sweet Apple Acres orchards A glimmer of light from something just off the bottom edge of the screen causes him to voice an ecstatic shudder.)
Spike: (eyes widening/shining) It’s…beautiful! (Close-up of Big Macintosh before him.)
Macintosh: Ee-yup!
(A healthy degree of concern crosses his face; cut to a longer shot of Spike and the source of the light—a small box balanced on one hoof, open to show a ring set with a sizable diamond. The dragon, now salivating and consumed with thoughts of a very crunchy midday snack, makes a grab for it.)
Macintosh: (from o.s., yanking it away) Nope!
Spike: (angrily) I’m not gonna eat it!
(Longer shot; the stallion holds it distrustfully out of reach while sitting on his haunches. Discord chooses this moment to appear out of thin air.)
Discord: Eat what?
(His arrival startles Spike into a face-first meeting with the grass. One beady red eye stretches out from its socket, curves around the back of Macintosh’s head to scope out the jewelry, then retracts as its holder turns away protectively and Spike gets up.)
Discord: (excitedly, peeking from several different angles) What is it? I want to see!
Macintosh: Nope!
Discord: Why not?
Spike: Because you have a big mouth.
Discord: (affronted) Me? (righting himself) I keep tons of secrets—like Fluttershy’s secret fear of clowns— (hovering briefly, then walking in place with forelimbs extended) —or that time I caught Twilight sleep-trotting through town. Oh! And did you know that Octavia went on a date with Bulk Biceps? Hmph! Talk about an odd couple. I heard that—
(Cut to Macintosh and Spike trading “I rest my case” glances on the end of this, then back to the now-chastened trickster.)
Discord: Oh. All right. Point taken. (brightly) But we’re pals, right? Comrades. Amigos.
(He suits all three of them up as a mariachi band on this last and scoops them into a bone-mashing hug.)
Discord: Come on!
(Getting a resigned shrug from Spike, Macintosh pulls out the ring box and gives a moment’s rapt contemplation to its contents—that is, until Discord drops both of them and grabs it up with a big, beaming, shuddery breath.)
Discord: BIG MAC IS GOING TO PROPOSE TO SUGAR BELLE?!?!?
(These last two words echo from the hilltop on which the three are situated, over the entire grounds, and through Ponyville proper, bringing activity in the streets to a dead stop. One mare peeks fearfully out from an upper-story window of her house, then goes back inside when the world somehow fails to end then and there. Fade to black.)
OPENING THEME
Act One
(Opening shot: fade in to a close-up of a confident Spike among the bushes. Based on the events of the prologue, these shots are set in the present time, while the orchard sequence from the prologue was a past event.)
* Spike: Of course Big Mac asked me to help with his proposal. I’m the most romantic dragon I know.
* Discord: (groaning) It really is a curse, having infinite powers. Everypony is always asking you to move a couch or help with a proposal.
(Wavering dissolve to them and Macintosh under their hilltop apple tree and without the mariachi outfits; Spike has popped into a hover, and Macintosh is on his haunches.)
Spike: Spill it! Every detail! Don’t leave anything out!
Discord: (scoffing) Do we have to hear all the details? Is that like a “friend” thing?
Macintosh: (sighing, tucking ring box into his hitching collar) Ee-yup.
(He stands up as the draconequus summons a recliner, sits, and puts up the footrest to make himself comfortable.)
Macintosh: I don’t talk much, so I want to show Sugar Belle how committed I am. First…
(Stepping out of view behind the tree for a moment, he tosses a bundle of planks back into view and returns with the handle of a paint can in his teeth. Cut to Spike, who gasps happily as the sound of its being set down drifts to him.)
Spike: (rapid fire) You’re making a picnic table that matches the shelf you made Sugar Belle for her shop when you had a crush on her, and you’re setting up a romantic meal overlooking Sweet Apple Acres?
Macintosh: Ee-yup.
(The first half of Spike’s spiel is a reference to “Hard to Say Anything,” and the whole thing leave Discord more than a bit confused.)
Discord: (to Spike) Uh, how did you figure that out?
Spike: If you were a hopeless romantic, you’d know that was the only logical choice.
Macintosh: Then…
(His next step away is followed by the pushing into view of a basket brimming with apples, each with a tag tied to its stem. Spike picks one up for a close look, finding its skin—and that of every other fruit in the batch—marked with a pink or red heart.)
Spike: You painted apples to leave around Ponyville with little riddles tied to the stem that will lead her up here to meet you?
Macintosh: Ee-yup.
Discord: Seriously?
Macintosh: Now…
Spike: Y—
(He trails off into mumbles and drops the apple once Discord claps a taloned palm over his mouth.)
Discord: Oh, I know!
(The little guy manages to pull free, but the appendage pops loose and maintains its grip, wrist and all.)
Discord: You need a giant rhino named Dolores who can knit a romantic sweater for two.
(During this line, Spike drops o.s. while trying to uncover his mouth and Discord magicks up a sweater with two neck holes and a puckered-up Macintosh and Sugar Belle within a heart on the front.)
Macintosh: Uh…nope.
(A lion-paw snap banishes the garment; now Spike rises into the air, carrying the disconnected hand by its wrist. It points at Discord for emphasis on the following.)
Spike: Come on! He needs food for the picnic. That was a gimme. (Discord, unimpressed, grabs and reattaches it.)
Discord: I do not get this game.
Spike: (to Macintosh) Okay. You finish you table, I’ll pick up whatever you need to eat, and Discord will put all the apples in place.
Discord: (surprised) I will?
Macintosh: Ee-yup.
(He pulls a scroll from his collar and passes it to Spike, who opens it to reveal a map of Ponyville on which several locations are marked with apples. One, at Sweet Apple Acres, has been circled. Still not looking too enthused about the whole scheme, Discord looks it over and snaps to vanish himself, Spike, the apples, and his chair. Wipe to a goat pulling a carrot into its mouth from one of the town’s market stalls and chomping placidly away. Both it and the chicken resting on its back get spooked into a bleating, squawking retreat by the instantaneous arrival of Spike, Discord, and the apples. Throwing a puzzled look after the livestock, he pulls out a pair of pince-nez spectacles on a chain, dons them, and picks up one apple to study its tag. Spike still has the map in hand.)
Discord: (reading) “From the Sugarcube Corner, look for your next clue.
Red, delicious, sweet like you.
Find it, you’ll know what to do.”
(He trails off into a disgusted mutter and lets it drop into the basket.)
Discord: He should stick to bucking apples.
Spike: Sugar Belle’s gonna love it!
(He has stashed the map by this point. Both of them head toward the nearby Sugarcube Corner, an eyewear-free Discord hauling the basket and setting it down for Spike to pluck one apple. This is taken from him and dropped to land on one corner of the doorstep.)
Spike: I’ll get the food. How long will it take you to place all the apples?
(One snap later, the basket contains nothing but air; two slit-pupiled eyes peer skeptically within, then shift to the joker.)
Spike: Are you sure you put them in the right spots?
Discord: Those terrible riddles on the apples were very clear on the location. I’m sure that they were placed properly. (He quails under Spike’s glower.) I-I-I think. Maybe. (scoffing) It doesn’t matter. (A cocked eyebrow joins the fight.) Oh, okay, fine! I’ll double-check.
(Before he can do so, both halves of the front door burst open and the Crusaders charge out, Sweetie carrying a pie in her magic. They are followed closely by Sugar with saddlebags on, and all four faces show highly preoccupied expressions. The apple rolls off the step and onto the cobblestones, having gone totally unnoticed by its intended recipient, and Spike picks it up and hovers to show it to Discord.)
Spike: She didn’t see the apple! What are we gonna do?
Discord: Well, we could just give it to her.
Spike: That’s not romantic! She needs to discover it!
Discord: Don’t be such a drama dragon. I’ve precipitated liquid cocoa on Equestria and herded long-limbed Leporidae. (taking apple from Spike) I can certainly make a pony see an apple!
[Note: “Leporidae” is the Latin term for the family of animals that includes rabbits and hares—a reference to part of the mayhem he unleashed during “The Return of Harmony.”]
(He snaps it, himself, and the empty basket away, leaving Spike to voice a heavy sigh. Cut to the kitchen at the height of a messy, full-tilt baking session by Mrs. Cake. As Spike peeks in over the batwing doors, the ring of a timer draws her away from a counter littered with ingredients and baked goods to remove a pie from the oven. Baskets of apples stand ready on the floor.)
Spike: Hey, Mrs. Cake. (flying in) I need to pick up a few things.
Mrs. Cake: (flustered, stirring a bowl) Oh, I-I’m afraid you’ll have to wait. I’m a bit busy at the moment. (checking another one) Oh, is this sour cream or sweet cream?
(A lick at the contents causes her eyes to pop, and she wastes no time in shoveling this lot into the first bowl.)
Spike: Oh, it’s kind of important. Maybe I could take some of these off your hooves?
(Close-up of several plated treats on the countertop as he reaches for them.)
Mrs. Cake: (from o.s., slapping his hands away) No! (Both again.) Those are for…uh, something important too. (Back to mixing.)
Spike: All of ’em? (counting items) There’s…one, two, three, four—
Mrs. Cake: Twenty-one! And yes, all of them.
Spike: Who needs twenty-one desserts?
Mrs. Cake: (hastily) I can’t tell you! It’s a secret! (calmer) Come by later.
Spike: Later won’t work!
Mrs. Cake: Why not? (She carries the bowl away.)
Spike: I can’t tell you. It’s a secret.
Mrs. Cake: (moving o.s., to herself) Put the vanilla in…uh, everything…
(Spike sneaks a taste from a plated slice of cake and voices his disgust loudly as a clatter of cooking implements is heard.)
Spike: Did somepony else bake these? (Mrs. Cake is now at the oven, loading in a tray of muffins.)
Mrs. Cake: No. (suspiciously, closing door) Why?
Spike: (trying to play it off) No reason.
(Wipe to a zoom in on an outdoor stall at which Rose is selling flowers. Sugar trots up, her mood now much improved, and points to a particular bouquet. Rose nods approvingly and turns away toward the back as Discord poofs in behind the customer. His lion paw detaches itself, holding the apple she missed.)
Discord: (to it, talon to lips) Shhh!
(The rest of him vanishes, and the paw sets the produce on the display counter and whisks out of sight an instant before Rose returns carrying the sort of bouquet Sugar requested. A bit of horn-power opens one saddlebag and extracts a few coins.)
Sugar: Thank you! These are perfect!
(The money goes to Rose, the flowers into Sugar’s bag by way of her field, and the two part ways—leaving the apple untouched once again. An irate Discord teleports in to glare after Sugar, his paw back where it belongs; he picks up the item and addresses it.)
Discord: You know, if she’s too busy to read the horribly written clues, maybe you should just tell her.
(A smile, a snap, and spindly, stem-like arms and legs are punching their way out through the red skin. A mouth forms as well and emits a jabbering noise. Next Discord produces the basket that had contained all the others and snaps; they appear in midair and tumble into the container, one bouncing loose to the pavement, and a third snap brings them to life. As they climb out, the grumbling gremlins find themselves being stared down at by a Discord who has outfitted himself as a military general, complete with sunglasses and corncob pipe. He adopts a gruff, commanding tone.)
Discord: Listen up! (They form ranks.) Each of you has a job to do. Take a look at your stems.
(They do so, reading the attached tags, and are less than thrilled at what they find. During the next line, he conjures a roll-up chart and pulls it down like a windowshade to present the map Spike showed him.)
Discord: Oh, tell me about it. But regardless, go to your designated location, deliver your messages, and make me proud. (saluting) Dismissed!
(The troops return the gesture and begin to fan out, and a snap banishes the map and returns him to civilian life.)
Discord: (sighing, satisfied) I just have to say, Big Mac is really lucky to have me as a friend.
(Wipe to a close-up of a bowl filled with paper slips on the kitchen counter in Sugarcube Corner. Mrs. Cake lifts one away in her teeth, lays it on an unoccupied spot—now the writing it bears can be discerned—and rolls it into a tiny scroll. The teeth nip it up, and nervous sweat runs down the baker’s face as she very carefully pokes it into the crust of a finished pie.)
Mrs. Cake: (pushing it in fully, sliding pie to a queasy Spike) Ooooo-kay. (She backs o.s.) One down, twenty to go.
(The baby dragon winces and claps hands to face at the prospect of anything as horrible as what he tasted earlier being released on a large scale. Cut to frame both.)
Mrs. Cake: Then I can help you.
Spike: (smiling) Maybe I can help you.
(Taking the bowl from her, he hovers over the loaded counter.)
Spike: Delivering parchments is my thing. A little dragon breath, and foosh! We deliver each scroll into each dessert. Then you can help me. Watch.
(She utters a panicked yelp and tries to grab him, but he shifts position to stay out of her reach; in close-up, he inhales deeply and sends out a small burst of green fire. The slips vanish instantly, while the bowl is left charred and smoking.)
Spike: Ta-da!
(His self-satisfaction evaporates in the very short time it takes for many more flames in this same color to start licking up from below. A longer shot discloses that the papers have all hit their marks but also set the desserts ablaze; the fires die away to leave only a mess of blackened sweets. Mrs. Cake looks as if ready to tear a strip off the well-meaning dragon, but a sudden commotion from outside makes her think better of it and gets both of them moving toward the front door. Spike drops the ruined bowl during the hasty exit. Out in the street, ponies are fleeing before the advance of one of Discord’s bewitched apples.)
Apple 1: Hurry, there’s no need to sneak.
(A second one pops up from a stack of hay bales, scaring off a mare.)
Apple 2: (running after her) The next apple is at the boutique!
(The mobile fruits are raising a ruckus all over Ponyville: harassing locals in the streets, spooking a mare who has opened her shutters into slamming them closed again, even popping up from a cake made by old Grand Pear. This one addresses him.)
Apple 3: At Twilight’s castle, take a right.
The next apple sits in plain sight.
(He bugs out, chased by the apple. Cut to a slow pan across the street, now filled with a scramble of wrecked stalls/goods and freaked-out ponies. Mrs. Cake and a hovering Spike take it all in, their minds completely blown.)
Mrs. Cake: What in the blazes is going on?
Spike: (softly, venomously) Discord.
(He appears right on cue—stretched out in his recliner, glasses on, reading a book, taking a sip from a hovering cup of tea. It takes him a second to register their presence and put the reading material down.)
Discord: Ohhhh! Are you finally finished? I’ve been done for a while.
(Spike throws a hard glare from the reigning madness to the one who set it off. A pie carried by Lily gets ruined in a blink when one of the apples lands in it, snarling; she drops the remains and gallops for her life.)
Discord: You know, thinking back, I probably could have been clearer which pony to deliver the messages to.
Spike: (very snarky) You think?
(A casual snap from the lion paw dispels all the animated produce, and he stands up from his recliner and lays his book on one armrest. The teacup is gone now, as are all the other ponies.)
Discord: (removing/pocketing glasses) I sent them back to Sweet Apple Acres. Apples are terrible at taking directions. Couldn’t even manage to stay in one location. Now, bananas— (chuckling richly) —are much better at listening.
Sugar: (from o.s.) What’s going on?
(The camera shifts to frame her at a distance down the block, without her saddlebags.)
Spike: (to Discord, exasperatedly) Apples running everywhere, and she didn’t see the poem to get to the hilltop?!
Discord: Getting her to the hilltop is easy. (smiling, poking Spike’s nose) Not seeing the poems is actually a blessing when you think about it.
(He snaps, teleporting himself and Sugar away; they emerge on the hilltop in the Sweet Apple Acres orchards an instant later. Macintosh’s construction supplies have been cleared out, and a freshly constructed picnic table stands in their place. Sugar does not immediately spot this item since her back is turned to it, and Discord magicks a blindfold over her eyes to keep her from getting wise to it. Back among the trashed stalls, Mrs. Cake decides to shift back to the excoriation she was about to deliver to Spike as they walk/fly down the street.)
Mrs. Cake: Why would you think sending flaming messages into my desserts would work?!? You’ve ruined all of them!
Spike: To be honest, I tasted some, and burning them might have been an improvement.
Mrs. Cake: What?! I never!
Macintosh: (from o.s.) Spike?
(Both stop short, he with a cry of surprise, and meet him out in front of Sugarcube Corner on the start of the next line.)
Spike: (stammering) Oh! Uh, hey there, Big Mac. Heh. I bet you’re wondering what—
(Discord zaps in, accompanied by…)
Macintosh: Sugar Belle!
Sugar: Uh, Big Mac? (Discord snaps the blindfold away.)
Macintosh: (with rising anger) Discord!
Discord: (brightly) Mrs. Cake!
Mrs. Cake: What did I do?
Discord: Nothing. I thought we were just saying each other’s names.
Spike: I guess this can’t get any worse.
Discord: As the Lord of Chaos, I’d advise against saying things like that.
(A babel of young and old voices draws all ten eyes up the block; cut to Granny Smith and the Crusaders screaming at the top of their lungs and galloping as if live grenades were tied to their tails. Sweetie is no longer carrying the pie she took from Sugarcube Corner earlier.)
Granny: It’s coming! Save yourselves!
(Thundering footfalls begin to shake the entire town as they bolt down the street, and flocks of birds hurriedly take flight from the orchards. An immense, growling, rumbling male voice easily makes itself heard even from this distance.)
Voice: SUGAR BELLE!
(Something very large and lumpy begins to climb the last rise in the path before the stream that borders Ponyville. Its shadow falls over Sugarcube Corner, Granny and the fillies having joined up with the other five here, and opens a broad, jagged mouth.)
Voice: SUGAR BELLE!
(Fade to black.)
Act Two
(Opening shot: fade in to the Crusaders in the present, contrition stenciled across every face.)
* Bloom: We have a bit of a reputation for gettin’ carried away.
* Sweetie: Especially when romance is involved. Heh.
* Scootaloo: But that wasn’t the case with this. We were just helping Sugar Belle with her plan.
(Wavering dissolve to the Sugarcube Corner kitchen. As Mrs. Cake keeps her cooking groove going, Bloom and Sweetie sit at the counter to work on a batch of paper slips. The unicorn writes with a quill held in her aura, while the earth pony minds the bowl of finished missives. Scootaloo sits on a stool off to one side, and Sugar keeps an eye on the state of things.)
Sugar: And the last one should just say “Ee-yup.”
(Mrs. Cake mumbles to herself a bit and stirs a bowl feverishly before speaking up.)
Mrs. Cake: So you’re saying you want to put each one of those inside a dessert.
Sugar: Well, since Big Mac’s plan to send me a Hearts and Hooves Day pie with a message inside didn’t go so well, I thought it’d be fun to do it right.
Sweetie: Awww, that’s so romantic! (Close-up of Sugar.)
Sugar: He’s a pony of few words. I love that about him. So I thought I’d use as many words as possible to propose to him. All he has to say is— (Zoom out to frame Bloom/Sweetie on the following.)
Bloom: “—Ee-yup!” (Giggle; Sugar blushes.) I can’t wait for you to be a part of the family!
Sugar: (as Scootaloo hops off her stool) You three played such a big part in Big Mac and I getting together. I’m glad you could help with this.
(In close-up, the orange filly climbs up to sit next to her two friends and starts leafing through the slips in the bowl.)
Scootaloo: (reading) “I-love-you-Big-Mac-would-you-like-to-spend-the-rest-of-our-lives-together-I-hope-you-say-ee-yup.” And each word has to go into a dessert? That’s… (counting) …one, two, three, four, five, six, seven…w-whoa! (Zoom out to frame Mrs. Cake on the next line.)
Mrs. Cake: Twenty-one! I know!
Sugar: Actually, it’s twenty-two.
(She turns away from the counter; cut to the oven as her power opens it, lifts out a freshly baked pie, and shuts it again.)
Sugar: Mrs. Cake was kind enough to help me bake all the apple-flavored treats I made to get Big Mac to visit me in my old shop.
(She crosses the floor on the end of this, after which the camera cuts to the Crusaders as the pie is set down before them.)
Sugar: (from o.s., pointing to it) That one has the invitation for him to come here.
(Back to her and Mrs. Cake as she finishes.)
Mrs. Cake: Oh, it’s—it’s no bother. I do love a challenge. (pondering two bowls) Did I add the sugar to this one or to that one?
(With a shrug, she hefts a bag of this staple from the floor and starts pouring into the first one.)
Scootaloo: I think I’ve seen her add sugar to that bowl six times so far.
Sugar: Now you three go deliver that pie.
(She exits to the shop floor, the Crusaders right behind and Sweetie holding the item with her telekinesis.)
Sugar: I have to get some flowers to spruce the place up.
(Opening the front door with her own magic, she is greeted with the sight of a hovering Spike and a standing Discord arguing on the step; she slams it shut with an unnerved gasp.)
Sugar: Uh-oh. Spike and Discord are outside. If they figure out what we’re up to, they’ll spill the beans, and I want this to be a surprise!
(Grins come across all three young faces as they put their eyes on the pie. Outside, the door bursts open and the three fillies charge out, followed by Sugar with her saddlebags on. The apple that Discord placed on the step rolls unnoticed to the ground. It should now be clear that the events of this act have been unfolding simultaneously with those of Act One. Sugar and the Crusaders part ways after a few dozen yards, the trio taking cover with the pie behind a produce stand.)
Sweetie: I don’t think they suspect anything! (Big grin from Bloom.)
Scootaloo: Why would they suspect that we’re holding an invitation pie and that Mrs. Cake is baking a twenty-one-dessert proposal?
Bloom: I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M GONNA HAVE A SISTER-IN-LAW!!
(Just as with Discord’s exclamation in the prologue, the end of hers echoes all over Ponyville, brings passersby to a very sudden stop. The mare who looked out from her window with trepidation does so again, but chooses not to go back inside this time. Scootaloo and Sweetie clap their front hooves over Bloom’s mouth to shut her up.)
Scootaloo, Sweetie: Shhh! (All three duck out of sight with the pie.)
Sweetie: This is our shot to make up for all the trouble we caused when Big Mac first asked Sugar Belle out! (She and Scootaloo each lower one hoof.)
Scootaloo: We can’t give away the surprise. You need to play it cool. (Bloom pushes the other ones down.)
Bloom: Right, right. (She crosses to a tub of apples.) Uh, how’s this?
(The pose she strikes—up on her hind legs, leaving insouciantly against the wood, a cocky smirking grin across the yellow face—does very little to set the two observers at ease.)
Scootaloo: (hesitantly) Better?
Sweetie: (levitating pie) Come on. Let’s go find your brother!
(They set off. Wipe to the hilltop, where Macintosh is in the process of putting together the picnic table with the help of a wagonload of tools and materials. Close-up of this lot.)
Macintosh: (from o.s., poking around) Screwdriver… (Cut to him.) …nope.
(He turns his steps toward the main barn, the camera panning to frame it and the Crusaders approaching its entrance. Inside, they push one door open and put their heads in.)
Bloom: (voice raised) Big Mac? (normal volume) He ain’t here. Let’s go.
Scootaloo: (walking in) Hold on.
(She spots a blueprint for the picnic table tacked up on the side of some stacked hay bales.)
Scootaloo: That looks just like the shelf Big Mac made for Sugar Belle. Weird.
Sweetie: Maybe we should wait here for him. He’s bound to show up soon.
Bloom: You know, when I’m lookin’ for somethin’, Granny says it’s best to check the least likely place. Come on!
(She leads the others in a gallop across the barn, pie and all; they pass o.s. just before Macintosh ambles in. A look around tells him where the wayward tool has ended up—right next to that blueprint.)
Macintosh: Screwdriver!
(Teeth grip the handle and carry it away. Dissolve to the interior of the town bowling alley; one stallion steps up to the line, ball at the ready, as a second polishes his and a third lounges about on the floor cushions behind the scoring desks. Scootaloo lets herself in.)
Scootaloo: BIG MAAAAC!
(His concentration shattered, the bowler inadvertently heaves the sphere toward the ceiling, knocking a suspended light fixture loose to smash a hole through the lane surface. All three stallions aim baleful looks at the filly, who offers a supremely embarrassed grin while fumbling to open the door and get gone. From here, wipe to a close-up of a monkey napping among the leaves of a palm tree and tilt down to Fluttershy at ground level, tucking a blanket in over a family of snoozing raccoons in a hammock. The scene has shifted to Sweet Feather Sanctuary, at the top of whose waterfall Bloom steps into view.)
Bloom: (echoing) BIG MAAAAC!
(The monkey snaps awake and jumps out of the tree with a screech, landing squarely on Fluttershy so that she, it, and the raccoons become no more than a whirling blur of fabric and eyes. The blanket ends up on the stone plateau beneath them, and all five peek warily out from the folds of the hammock. Bloom’s eyes pop at the blunder she has committed, and she slaps on a big stupid grin. Wipe to the interior of a steam-filled sauna room at the Ponyville Spa; the door swings open to put Sweetie on the threshold, still hauling that pie.)
Sweetie: BIG MAAAAC!
(She is met with a shrill scream and a towel flung into her face. Cut to the corridor as the door slams shut and she groans in frustration. A passing Aloe takes notice of the intrusion; cut to just outside the front door as it opens and she bulldozes the filly out, now free of the towel. Sweetie ends up sitting on the step, and her apologetic grin goes unacknowledged as Aloe retreats into the building and shuts her out. Here come Bloom and Scootaloo; the earth pony puts a hoof to her forehead with a weary sigh, the unicorn gets up, and all three trudge away.)
(Wipe to a long shot of them approaching Sugarcube Corner.)
Bloom: How is Sugar Belle supposed to propose to Big Mac if we can’t even find him?!
(One by one, they hop over a low hedge on the end of this; next, Scootaloo climbs up to peek in through a window and spots Mrs. Cake working in the kitchen with Spike watching.)
Scootaloo: Mrs. Cake isn’t finished yet! We still have time! (She drops to the ground.)
Bloom: You know, when I’m lookin’ for somepony, Granny says it’s best to just stay in one place. Let’s head back to the farm and wait. Big Mac is sure to show up soon.
(The other two stare flatly at each other, then at her.)
Bloom: Well, don’t just stand there! Come on!
(Seeing no percentage in any other course of action for the moment, the other two follow her pelting departure. Not a one of them sees the Discord-affected apple that scrambles past the corner of the building—or the one that pops out of a windowsill planter and jumps down onto it. The collision is marked by a flare of light, which subsides to show that they have merged into a larger specimen: red, with smaller apples in different shades protruding here and there. This one speaks in a male voice clearer than the others.)
Bigger apple: Love is in the air!
(But it goes back to the same gibbering patter as it runs off. Dissolve to a slow pan across the grounds of Sweet Apple Acres and stop on the hilltop. Macintosh sits contentedly at the now-completed/painted picnic table, tapping his front hooves idly, and has cleared away all his equipment.)
Macintosh: Yup.
(Nothing immediately happens, so he taps a few more times.)
Macintosh: Ee-yup.
(A faint chittering catches his ear; the source turns out to be a squirrel climbing the tree, and he quits his seat to survey the orchards with a measure of irritation and dismay. Wipe to Granny, asleep and snoring/mumbling in a rocking chair by the now-closed doors of the Sweet Apple Acres barn, then cut to a close-up as the Crusaders lunge into view toward her.)
Crusaders: Granny!
(The elderly green mare jolts awake in one swift instant.)
Granny: Who goes there?
Bloom: Granny! Have you seen Big Mac?
Granny: Oh! Hey there, little dumplin’. I just had the most peculiar dream.
Scootaloo: (hastily) That’s nice, Granny, but we really need to find Big Mac, so—
Granny: It was about Grand Pear, but it wasn’t. And we were in outer space, on some kinda mission to explore strange new worlds.
Sweetie: (hushed, to Scootaloo) If we get stuck listening to Granny, we’ll never find Big Mac!
Granny: And Mudbriar was there, bein’ as logical as ever. (stretching ears upward briefly) But his ears was all pointy-like. And then Discord showed up, and—well, you know, he was purty much the same.
(Cut to Bloom/Scootaloo; she continues indistinctly under the next line.)
Bloom: (hushed) Once she gets goin’, there’s nothin’ in Equestria that can stop her.
(A series of thunderous, slowly approaching impacts causes the water in a nearby bucket to quake and ripple and brings the rambling dream account to a halt.)
Scootaloo: You sure about that?
(The trees start trying to do the cha-cha, and all four boggle as a massive shadow envelops them, accompanied by a grating roar. Wipe to the front of Sugarcube Corner, at the meeting of Macintosh, Mrs. Cake, and Spike near the end of Act One.)
Macintosh: Spike?
Spike: (stammering) Oh! Uh, hey there, Big Mac. Heh. I bet you’re wondering what— (Discord teleports in with a blindfolded Sugar, her saddlebags gone.)
Macintosh: Sugar Belle!
Sugar: Uh, Big Mac? (Discord snaps the blindfold away.)
Macintosh: (with rising anger) Discord!
Discord: (brightly) Mrs. Cake!
Mrs. Cake: What did I do?
Discord: Nothing. I thought we were just saying each other’s names.
Spike: I guess this can’t get any worse.
Discord: As the Lord of Chaos, I’d advise against saying things like that.
(The screams of Granny and the Crusaders cut in, and the camera shifts to them zeroing in on the bakery, Sweetie no longer carrying the pie.)
Granny: It’s coming! Save yourselves!
(The mighty footfalls begin to shake the town and send birds into spooked flight, and the same rumbling voice from the end of Act One asserts itself.)
Voice: SUGAR BELLE!
(Now the owner of that voice and the foreboding shadow comes up over a rise in the path: an overgrown conglomeration of apples with gnarled, branch-like arms and legs and a badly formed mouth. This horror is roughly apple-shaped in its overall contour. Its shadow falls over the party of nine.)
Apple monster: (from o.s.) SUGAR BELLE!
Macintosh: (with rising anger) Discord!
(It stops its advance just short of them, now showing itself to be several times the size of the average pony in all directions.)
Discord: Why does everypony immediately assume that this has something to do with me?
(Now it speaks again, sending out sprays of pulp and juice and opening a smaller mouth on one of the side protuberances as well.)
Apple monster: I love you! You love me!
Our love will grow like an apple tree!
So let me ask, “Will you marry me?”
(There follows a very long pause, during which Discord takes his time wiping himself clean as nearly all of the others try to bore holes through his skull with their eyes. The lone exception is Sugar, who is too scared for anything resembling a rational thought at the moment.)
Discord: Okay, but to be fair, the message did get to Sugar Belle.
(The not-quite-engaged ponies trade worried looks, and Macintosh puts a hoof to his face while Sugar lets her head droop dejectedly. Fade to black.)
Act Three
(Opening shot: fade in to an annoyed Discord in the present.)
* Discord: This whole story is being twisted to make it seem like it was all my fault—which it wasn’t!
(Wavering dissolve to him, Macintosh, Mrs. Cake, Sugar, and Spike. The baker is the first to regain her power of speech.)
Mrs. Cake: (to Discord/Spike) Wait. So you two were orchestrating a proposal? That’s what I was doing!
Discord: Who were you proposing to? (Pan to Granny and the Crusaders on the following.)
Bloom: (crossly) Discord!
Discord: Me?
(His obtuseness earns three young forelegs and a wrinkled green one being jabbed impatiently toward the overgrown piece of produce.)
Apple monster: I love you! I love you! I love you!
(Back to Discord on the end of this; he snaps his lion-paw digits, and the behemoth falls apart into its component fruits—all thankfully immobile and insensate.)
Spike: So the messages that were in the desserts—
Mrs. Cake: —were Sugar Belle’s proposal to Big Mac, before Spike set them on fire!
(The winged flamethrower tacks on a silly grin that does nothing to quell her silent rancor.)
Discord: Ohhh! So I’m not the only one who messes things up, am I, Mr. High and Mighty Dragon?
Spike: Hey! Those desserts were ruined way before I ruined them!
Mrs. Cake: They were not! (A moment’s thought.) Well, I may have mixed up a—a few ingredients. It was such a rush. (Cut to Discord.)
Discord: You should both be very disappointed in yourselves. (Pan/tilt down to Granny and the Crusaders on the next line.)
Scootaloo: What about you and your apple monster?
Discord: Yes, but you all expect that of me. (Close-up of the Crusaders.)
Bloom: All we wanted to do was make up for messin’ things up the last time. Sugar Belle, Big Mac, we’re really—
(Eyes widen in mild shock, and a longer shot reveals that the couple have vacated the premises.)
Sweetie: Where’d they go? (Six borderline-murderous glares fix themselves on Discord.)
Discord: Okay, this time it really wasn’t me!
(Wavering dissolve to Mrs. Cake in the present.)
* Mrs. Cake: I shouldn’t have taken all those desserts at once. It’s just, how can you say no to such a sweet idea? (Eyes widen.) Oh! (laughing) Sweet! (Wipe a tear away.) Oh, I made a joke. (Cut to Spike.)
* Spike: In retrospect, a dragon flame and baked goods aren’t the best combo. (To the Crusaders, on their haunches.)
* Bloom: We felt like it was all our fault.
* Scootaloo: Except for the apple monster. That was Discord. (Unamused stares from the other two.) And Mrs. Cake messing up those recipes, and Spike burning the messed-up recipes, and—
* Sweetie: The point is, we all felt bad for ruining Big Mac and Sugar Belle’s proposals. (Cut to Granny.)
* Granny: It was all green, and then Grand Pear looked at me all dramatical and says, “Where nopony has gone before!” And, whoosh! Away we flew!
(She has evidently been finishing the interrupted description of her dream from Act Two. Wavering dissolve to Macintosh and Sugar walking glumly side by side down a path through the Sweet Apple Acres orchards.)
Sugar: Today was… (laughing weakly) …interesting.
Macintosh: Ee-yup. (They stop; above them, the sky is slowly darkening into sunset.)
Sugar: (touching his foreleg) You okay?
Macintosh: I…
(Cut to just behind them and tilt up slowly. They have arrived in the clearing with the intertwined apple and pear trees that grew from the seeds planted by Bright Macintosh and Pear Butter on their wedding day in “The Perfect Pear.”)
Macintosh: I’m sorry, Sugar Belle. I wanted everything to go right today. I wanted our love to be as perfect as my parents’ was when they planted these two trees together. Instead, it turned into a mess, just like when I asked you out, just like Hearts and Hooves Day. (sitting on haunches) No matter how hard I try, I always seem to mess up when it comes to you. (Sugar sits and smiles gently.)
Sugar: I think you’ve got things backwards.
Macintosh: What do you mean?
Sugar: From everything you told me about your parents, they had to deal with things a lot tougher than some burnt desserts and an apple monster. (She stands and paces toward the trees.)
Macintosh: I…guess that’s true.
(A few more steps bring her to the massive trunks and the rock on which Bright carved his cutie mark and Butter’s, within a heart and joined by a plus sign. Zoom out to frame the entire double tree as she speaks.)
Sugar: This apple tree and pear tree are stronger together. They’ll survive whatever comes because they don’t have to do it alone. (turning to Macintosh, raising his front hooves in hers) They belong together, like your parents— (hugging him) —and like us.
(The big lug comes around to a smile at long last and folds his forelegs gently around her back.)
Macintosh: Ee-yup.
(The sun descends to just the right angle to fill the heart-shaped gap between the two sets of branches with blazing gold. Pan slowly across the clearing.)
Sugar: And today was a disaster, but today was also the last day we’re ever gonna have to do anything apart. From here on out, we’ll be together, and we’ll make sure everything always works out just right.
(They nuzzle contentedly as a gust of wind plays through the leaves, then abruptly speak up at once.)
Macintosh, Sugar: Sugar Belle, will you— / Big Mac, will you— (blushing) Sorry. / No, I’m sorry.
Macintosh: (offering a hoof) On three?
Sugar: (placing hers on it) Sure. One…
Macintosh: …two…
Macintosh, Sugar: Will you marry me? (Just the briefest pause.) Ee-yup!
(He pulls the ring box he had shown off to Discord and Spike and flips it open. Sugar can only stare enraptured with cheeks ablaze as he fastens the ring around her neck on a thin gold chain, and they share a quick kiss.)
Sugar: We’ll have to thank our friends for messing up so bad that they made it all work out perfectly.
(A rustle from the bushes and a bit of angry blabbering mark the emergence of one of Discord’s enchanted apples—having apparently been too well hidden to be affected by his dispelling magic. It runs across the grass in close-up, the camera zooming out on the start of the next line to frame the seven “interview subjects” around a table loaded with fresh desserts. With the exception of Discord and Granny, who is asleep in a rocking chair, all of them are trying to keep their cool in the presence of the other charmed fruits running free about the place. Sweetie is once again holding the pie entrusted to her by Sugar.)
Discord: (catching the late arrival as it jumps to his paw) Well! We’ve all made up and we’re here for a do-over, and this time—thanks to me—we’ve got it right. So why don’t you two…you know…
(Macintosh and Sugar nozzle into each other without a care in the world; Spike hovers up to Discord.)
Spike: Uh, I think they did okay without us.
(Wavering dissolve to three very happy Crusaders in the present.)
* Bloom: And that’s how we were responsible for the perfect proposal! (Chuckle.) Or should I say “pear-posal”?
* Sweetie: If we hadn’t messed up so bad—
* Scootaloo: —it wouldn’t have worked out the way it did! (Zoom out to frame each speaker in turn.)
* Mrs. Cake: It’s just like baking. Sometimes it’s the mistakes that help you discover something truly special. (Spike is in a short-sleeved blazer, white dress shirt, and loose bow tie.)
* Spike: And when all the planning and grand gestures go wrong— (knotting tie) —it reminds you the most romantic things are usually the simplest. (Discord sports a white shirt collar and black bow tie.)
* Discord: Which is what I knew all along. (He bends his neck to present his face upside down.) You’re welcome.
(And now, at long last, the camera shifts to reveal exactly who it is that has been on the receiving end of this convoluted tale—Applejack, dressed in country-formal attire and with her mane braided. She wipes away some of the joyful tears brimming in her eyes, and all turn their attention to the clearing with the paired trees under the peaceful daytime sky. Bunting and lanterns have been hung up as decoration, snack tables and tubs of apples are present in abundance, and friends and relations from both the bride’s and groom’s sides have turned out for the big day. Mayor Mare stands at the trees, a book of officiating instructions at the ready, and waits for the approach of Macintosh and Sugar. He is in a dark gray suit jacket, lighter gray vest, off-white shirt with a string tie secured by a clasp shaped as his cutie mark, and a dark gray cowboy hat. Sugar is in a white gown with light blue hem edging and a translucent under-layer to the skirt, her ring on its chain, and a pale blue sash that matches the ribbon tying back her mane. Double Diamond, Night Glider, and Party Favor have nothing but proud smiles for her, and Party even has to dab at his eyes with a handkerchief.)
(Macintosh and Sugar reach Mayor Mare and turn to face one another as their friends and fellow conspirators gather in, along with Applejack.)
Mayor Mare: It is my sincere pleasure to say— (Cut to Sugar and Macintosh in turn; she continues o.s.) —for my second Apple family wedding— (The entire gathering.) —that I now pronounce you husband and wife. (to Macintosh) You may kiss the bride.
(Cheers erupt from all sides as the newlyweds readily do as instructed, and leaky waterworks become the special of the day among all the guests. Macintosh and Sugar turn proudly to face Applejack.)
Discord: (addressing himself upward) That’s your cue!
(Down come a plethora of enchanted apples to dangle from strings among the branches of the apple/pear trees. They have been decked out in bow ties for the occasion.)
Apples: (singing tunelessly) Happy marriage, happy Apples
Happy marriage, happy Apples
Spike: Discord!
Discord: Oh, just let me have this one. (He produces a hanky to dry his eyes.)
Apples: Happy marriage, happy Apples
Happy marriage, happy Apples
(“Iris out” to black, centered on one of them; the aperture pauses briefly before closing altogether.)
THE ENDING OF THE END—PART ONE
Written by Nicole Dubuc
Produced by Devon Cody
Story editing by Josh Haber
Supervising direction by Jim Miller
Directed by Denny Lu, Mike Myhre
Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)
Note: The transcripts of this episode and the two that follow it were prepared from
the versions available through iTunes, which present them as three separate half-
hour broadcasts. In their original airing on Discovery Family, though, they were
broadcast as a single 90-minute block. Changes between the two versions,
pertaining mainly to the transitions at the start/end of each act, are noted at the
end of each transcript.
Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to the road leading to Canterlot during the day. A unicorn stallion in a chef’s white jacket/toque, red scarf, and saddlebags walks briskly toward the great city, but stops short when Crackle Cosette—the unicorn identity briefly assumed by Chrysalis during “The Summer Sun Setback”—peeks out from behind a tree. She wears a camera in a jointed holder around her neck.)
Cosette: Hey there, my unicorn friend. Have you heard?
Chef: About Princess Twilight Sparkle’s coronation? Who hasn’t? I’m on my way there now. So much baking to do, and—
Cosette: No, no. (fearfully, whispering in his ear) About the earth ponies.
Chef: I know their crops have been underperforming, but, uh—
Cosette: That’s not it. They’re hoarding the food for themselves! I heard the mayor of Appleloosa say that if unicorns and pegasi want to eat, they can use their own hooves to dig.
Chef: How awful!
Cosette: We unicorns have to stick together, right?
(He answers her knowing wink with a solemn nod and continues on his way, making a show of ignoring a cordial wave from Mrs. Cake as he crosses the open drawbridge to the main gate. Cosette chuckles malevolently to herself as she turns away; dissolve to her entering Grogar’s lair and transforming into Chrysalis. She arrives in the meeting area that she, Cozy Glow, and Lord Tirek have used at times in the past; the filly hovers just off the shoulder of the centaur, who sits reading the book that the three stole from the Canterlot Archives in “The Summer Sun Setback.”)
Tirek: Ah, Chrysalis. Another successful field trip, I presume?
Chrysalis: Spreading distrust among the unicorns and earth ponies is almost too easy. (sitting in a chair, in close-up) We could take down Twilight and her friends a hundred times— (rolling eyes disgustedly) —but as long as they have the love of Equestria behind them— (slamming front hooves on table) —they’d crawl back to defeat us. Not anymore. (Cozy drifts over to her.)
Cozy: No friendship, no magic! (chuckling) It’s so obvious when you think about it. I did my part, freaking out the pegasi. (Cut to Tirek on the next line.)
Tirek: And Grogar’s long absence has given me time to prepare the next part of our plan.
(He stands up with the book, crosses to one of the room’s wall-mounted torches, and blows it out. A quick dose of magic dislodges the stone in which it is set to expose a small cubbyhole that contains Grogar’s bewitching bell, found by the trio in “Frenemies.” He pulls it out and holds it up triumphantly while sliding the stone back into place.)
Tirek: Grogar’s bell! (returning to table) This artifact can steal any creature’s magic. (setting book down, open) It holds that magic until it is released by this spell.
(Close-up of the illustrated pages as he finishes; one shows the old goat draining power from a pony and into the bell, while the other depicts him transferring it into himself. Tirek points out the latter before the camera cuts back to him.)
Tirek: (giddily) Which means all the power inside is ours for the taking!
(He plants a few kisses on the cracked metal surface before Cozy yanks it away.)
Cozy: You’re drooling on the bell. (She wipes it clean.)
Chrysalis: (levitating it away from her) Let’s try the spell before Grogar gets back. I’m sick of waiting for that old goat’s master plan.
(She sets it down on the book as Tirek holds one hand out to each of them.)
Tirek: Take my hands. (Distrustful glances come his way.) So we can all be part of the spell. Unless you’d prefer I take all the magic myself? (Cozy reluctantly lays a hoof on his palm.)
Chrysalis: Our pact stands. (She follows suit.) What we do, we do together. Once we defeat the protectors of Equestria, we can claim this land and rule our kingdoms alone once more.
(The centaur fires up a spell between his horns and lets it surge into the bell, the group’s joined hands/hooves glowing faintly and crackling with sparks. The thing rises clear of the table, wreathed in a lurid yellow/black aura and with its inscriptions and clapper lighting up, as the pages flip madly under their own power. It rises to just above the level of Tirek’s head, the corona fading away, and turns to aim its clapper at him before emitting one long, doleful ring. A swirling vortex of black and yellow emerges from the open end, bringing mad grins to all three faces, and pours energy into them from point-blank range. The glare from the power surge fills the screen with its whiteness; when this fades, the bell settles down on the book and goes silent once more in close-up, the vortex gone. The camera pans slowly to a stretch of wall, against which Tirek’s shadow begins to grow…and grow…and grow. The lengthening of his horns and the bulking-up of his entire form speak to the boost he has received, and the shadows of the other two cast themselves to either side. A tiara grows to frame Chrysalis’ face, and a horn pokes out through the ringlets above Cozy’s brow. Wild laughter rings out from every throat as the view fades to black.)
OPENING THEME
Act One
(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of Grogar’s lair in its fetid swamp and zoom in slowly.)
Grogar: (voice over) I have returned!
(Cut to him inside, making his way down from one entrance.)
Grogar: Twilight Sparkle’s coronation is today, and we are going to ruin it with this artifact.
(On the end of this, he ignites his horns and collar bells to levitate a brooch consisting of a large red gem in a gold setting.)
Grogar: But to succeed, you must work together!
(He arrives at the main chamber during this line, finding it empty; in addition, the crystal ball on the center table has gone dark and inert. Two glowing yellow eyes open in a shadowy recess.)
Voice of Chrysalis: Oh, way ahead of you, Grogar.
(Enough light comes up to frame her hanging upside down from the ceiling, the whites of her eyes having taken on that unhealthy hue and the irises so dark as to be nearly indistinguishable from the slitted pupils. A green tiara now rests behind her horn, which shades from black at the base to that same color at the tip. She rotates her head 180 degrees to put her face right-side up and spits a gobbet of slime across the room, gluing Grogar’s front hooves to the stepping stone on which he stands. His struggle against the muck comes to an abrupt halt once the entire place begins to shake; the cause is Tirek, who is trying to squeeze in through a doorway far too small for him, but he eventually gives up and just smashes through. Here comes Cozy from the other side of the chamber, with two noticeable changes to her own appearance in addition to the new horn: fuller wings that shade to a deeper pink at the tips, and a pale gold necklace matching the bands in her mane and tail. She vaporizes the brooch with a spell, Chrysalis drops from the ceiling, and all three glare contemptuously down at Grogar from their elevated vantage points as Tirek levitates…)
Grogar: (straining to break loose) The bell?! You had it all this time? Why didn’t you tell me?
(Now Chrysalis can be seen in full light for the first time. The sides of the tiara reach down to her jawline, shading from green to blue-green that matches the necklace and armored shoes she has donned. The glare of Cozy’s horn has subsided to brick red.)
Cozy: We’re villains. Duh!
(All three hit the bell with their magic, activating it and causing it to ring and generate a vortex faced toward Grogar. He can do nothing but scream in agony as it vacuums up his power, the camera cutting to a close-up and panning away to frame only his shadow on the water. It undergoes a sharp contraction, taking on the contours of Discord’s form, and a moment later the chaos master has gone chin-first onto the rocks. A woozy blink gives way to a start of surprise, and he sits up and offers a sheepish grin and wave to three former minions who absolutely cannot believe this latest turn of events. The slime pinning him in place is now gone, and the bell has shut down.)
Tirek: That was unexpected.
(A casual snap—and Discord is more than a little puzzled to find himself still in the metaphorical hot seat. He tries twice more, with just as much luck, and then makes a beeline over the stepping stones toward the exit as the three descend to ground level.)
Cozy: (to Chrysalis/Tirek) Wait. Discord was Grogar? Like, the whole time. Should we follow him?
Chrysalis: (floating bell up) Without magic, he’s no threat. (menacingly, pacing) Besides, we have plans.
(The other two fall in, relishing whatever nasty thoughts might be rattling around in their brain buckets. Dissolve to an overhead shot of the Canterlot Castle courtyard, which has been outfitted for a whopper of a coronation festival. A huge circular carpet marked with the pink star from Twilight Sparkle’s cutie mark has been laid out on the grass, runners of red carpeting connect it to the doors and the lawns beyond the courtyard, and stalls and refreshment tables are set up around the perimeter. On the start of the next line, cut to Princesses Celestia and Luna in the throne room.)
Celestia: Doesn’t she look so adorably regal up there?
Luna: (levitating a handkerchief to dab tears from her eyes) Our little Twilight, all grown up. Should we tell her that we’ve cleared out our royal suites so she and Spike can move in?
(Cut to just behind them, facing the dais. The twin thrones have been removed, and Celestia’s has been loaded onto a cart for transport; in their place stands a single one with a slightly different contour, topped with a gold rendering of the star from Twilight’s mark. She sits up here, with Spike hovering alongside.)
Celestia: Oh, maybe wait until after the coronation. Twilight doesn’t need anything else to worry about today.
(On the end of this, the camera zooms in on the incoming Princess and the two outgoing ones take their leave, while a stallion hauls the cart out after them. In close-up, Spike loops a measuring tape around Twilight’s head.)
Spike: So, you freaking out yet?
Twilight: About what?
Spike: Oh, I don’t know. (pulling out clipboard/pencil, taking notes) It’s not every day the princesses that have ruled Equestria for hundreds of moons retire and pass all their responsibilities on to you and your friends.
(He finishes by putting his notes away, shoving the pencil behind his ear, and plying the tape again.)
Twilight: Oh, that. Actually, I’m feeling pretty good. We’ve all faced so much and come out okay. I know we’re up to the challenge of keeping Equestria safe and happy. There’s nothing we can’t handle together. Which reminds me…
(The baby dragon finds a small box being levitated into his grip; close-up of this as he opens the lid to find a medal waiting for him. It is gold, with her cutie mark standing out from the center and a horizontal upper bar set with three six-pointed stars.)
Spike: (from o.s.) Royal Advisor? (Both again; her magic pulls it out and drapes it around his neck.) What’s that?
(He closes the box, tosses it over his shoulder, and settles down on the throne.)
Twilight: A new position I created for you. (Zoom in slowly.) You’ve been at my side for every step of this journey. Knowing I had you to count on gave me the strength I needed to grow and succeed. (Cut to Spike; his eyes tear up as she continues o.s.) I wouldn’t be here without you. (They embrace warmly.)
Spike: Thanks, Twilight. You know I’ll always be your right-hoof dragon.
(A clawed finger flicks a tear away from a green eye.)
Twilight: I was hoping you’d say that. (hovering) Because now that my crown’s been fitted, we have some royal errands to run.
(Both of them throw their wings in gear and head for the doors. Dissolve to a Canterlot street that is oddly bare of all life except for a tumbleweed blowing forlornly past in the sighing wind. An eagle’s cry echoes in the far distance as Fluttershy and Rarity, the latter with saddlebags slung up, round a corner and find a produce stand bereft of its goods. Cut to their perspective of it on the next line, panning slowly across bins that contain only crumbs and cobwebs.)
Rarity: And you’re sure this is where Pinkie told us to get the blackberries for her special coronation dessert? (Back to them.)
Fluttershy: (peeking in) Maybe they keep their produce in the back?
(An earth pony grocer stallion leans out the door of the nearest shop.)
Grocer: Nope, this is all we got. (smirking) But I got a special on these taters.
(Close-up of two tubers being held out to them on a platter as he finishes. The wrinkled skins, sprouts growing from the eyes, and copious fumes indicate that they are not even remotely fit for consumption. Rarity gags at the stench and claps hooves to mouth to stop herself from vomiting on the spot.)
Fluttershy: Um, no thank you. We’ll keep looking.
(She wastes no time in pushing her friend away from the toxic foodstuff and around a corner. Rarity coughs out the last of the smell just before Twilight and Spike swoop down on them. Spike has shed his pencil, clipboard, measuring tape, and medal.)
Rarity: Ooh, Twilight, darling, you’re just in time. (Land; all four get moving.) Only one more pre-coronation stop. We’re picking up the final touch for your après hors d’oeuvre gown.
Twilight: (smiling, eyebrow cocked) Is that before or after the Royal Marshmallow-Eating Contest gown? (All stop; Rarity flops to her haunches in a sudden panic.)
Rarity: What?! I haven’t made one of those! (standing, magically opening bag, pulling out quill/paper) You must tell me when they add these sorts of things!
(Cut to the Princess’s perspective of her, writing frantically with the sheet lifted to block her face from view.)
Twilight: (laughing, pushing it down) It’s okay, Rarity. (The three mares again.) I was just joking.
(As a smugly smiling Spike hovers into view toward Twilight, Rarity crumples to the sidewalk in a swoon and gets a little fanning from Fluttershy.)
Spike: Joking? Day of her coronation? You’ve come a long way, Twilight.
(In very short order, the fashionista is on her hooves and crossing the street to a thread shop. Her magic grips the handle of the shut door, but is unable to budge it.)
Rarity: Well, that’s odd. They look open.
(At her knock, a small window set in the door slides open to expose a pair of narrowed eyes in a mare’s yellow face. She keeps her voice down.)
Thread shop owner: What do you want?
Rarity: (laughing casually) Oh. Well, this being a thread shop, I thought I might…buy some?
Thread shop owner: Put the bits in the mail slot.
(An understandably puzzled Rarity exerts her horn-power over her bags to pull out a few coins and slip them through the aperture in question. A spool of thread is tossed out to her the same way in a glimmer of magic—the proprietor is a unicorn—and she floats it up with a satisfied smile.)
Twilight: What was that about?
Rarity: You know designers. Don’t like being interrupted when they’re on a creative roll. (She looks the spool over.) Ooh, with thread this exquisite, can you blame them?
(It goes in the bags as a shadow passes overhead; on the next line, cut to Rainbow Dash pushing a cloud over the street and out of the way.)
Rainbow: Weather for the coronation is sunny skies! (She lands facing them.) It was weird, though. Not many pegasi wanted to help me clear the clouds. They were kinda on edge.
(So is a unicorn stallion crossing behind her; he plasters himself against a wall and opens the nearest door just long enough to dive inside.)
Spike: They’re not the only ones.
Rarity: It’s the first shift in royal power in over a millennium. Of course everypony is a little jumpy. Change does that.
Fluttershy: (to Twilight) But I’m sure it’s not because they’re worried about you.
Rainbow: How could they be? How many times have you saved their flanks by now?
Twilight: You’re right. (pacing; Rainbow hovers) I’ll just have to let everypony know that even with Celestia and Luna gone, we’ll make sure things stay the same.
(Dissolve to an overhead shot of the courtyard as all five make their way in. Applejack is now on the scene and unloading a wagon as a Royal Guard pony keeps watch; a close-up picks this one out as a sour-faced unicorn stallion. His foul mood has sapped the farmer’s usual good cheer as she slides a basket of apples down off the tailgate for his inspection, but she brightens upon glancing past him.)
Applejack: Twilight! (crossing to group) There you are! (indicating the stallion) You mind tellin’ your friend here that I don’t need an official guard wherever I go—especially if he ain’t gonna help carry apples?
Twilight: (to him) I appreciate you taking such good care of my friends, but we’re fine now. (He bows curtly and clears out.)
Applejack: It was the strangest thing. He kept callin’ me “earth pony,” like I didn’t have a name, and watchin’ me like he thought I’d steal the silver.
(The doors burst open with a rumbling crash, spilling a tsunami of cupcakes along the red carpet, and Pinkie Pie burrows partway up to daylight from within the mess. Several specimens of it are squashed into her mane and coat.)
Pinkie: Do not go in that kitchen!
Rainbow: You look like you were in a sugar war. (Pinkie jumps clear.)
Pinkie: For some reason, the bakers are super-grouchy with each other. (leaping/crossing to them) That unicorn chef started throwing dessert at Mrs. Cake! I tried to help, but I got caught in the crossfire! (shuddering ecstatically) Tasty, tasty crossfire.
(And she proceeds to gulp down a chunk of it from one foreleg and lick her chops.)
Twilight: (to Rarity, worriedly) Are you sure this is just pre-coronation nerves?
Discord: (from “o.s.”) Oh!
(All turn toward the sound of his voice, which seems to be coming from farther down the courtyard, and shift to one side or the other. Here he stands, looking very much a wreck and massaging his reptilian hind leg.)
Discord: (flopping onto his back) My aching metatarsals! (Fluttershy flies over to him and lands.) You know, you forget how convenient snap travel is.
(The others approach; Pinkie is now clean except for one glob stuck to her forelock, which she proceeds to pull off and start chewing.)
Spike: Wait. Did you just walk here? On foot?
Discord: Yes, actually, and I have a confession to make. You see, I might have made the teeeeeeniest boo-boo—all very well-intentioned and noble on my part, of course, but— (Cut to Twilight/Applejack/Rarity on the end of this.)
Applejack: Get to the point, Discord. (Back to him, now standing.)
Discord: Uh, you remember that whole thing with King Sombra? That was slightly my fault, and by “slightly,” I mean “I brought him back.”
Rarity: You did?!? But why?
Discord: Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time— (holding up three lion-paw digits) —which is why I also brought back three other villains— (chuckling weakly) —who are now on the loose and not really big fans of yours. (shrugging) So, uh…my bad.
(A round of horrified gasps from the seven recipients of this most unwelcome update, followed by a snap to black.)
Act Two
(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of Canterlot at sunset and zoom in slowly.)
Luna: (voice over) Let me get this straight.
(Cut to the Canterlot Castle throne room. Twilight is on the throne, the soon-to-be-ex-royals one level down to either side and hopping mad. They are facing Discord and the rest of the Ponyville contingent. Rainbow is the only one hovering, and Rarity no longer carries her bags. Zoom in slowly.)
Luna: You wanted to boost Twilight’s confidence, so you brought back Chrysalis, Cozy Glow, and Tirek to attack her?
Discord: (smiling stupidly) Don’t forget Sombra.
Celestia: And while you united these three villains, you pretended to be Grogar? (Discord deflates noticeably.)
Fluttershy: (stepping forward) Discord, how could you do this to Twilight— (crying) —and us? (She drops to her haunches as Applejack moves to comfort her.)
Discord: Look what a great job you did defeating Sombra. All the confidence you gained. Remember the cheering? (balling talons and lion paw, thumping them together) The hoof bumps?
Twilight: (quietly) Except it was all a lie.
Discord: (approaching dais) A well-intentioned lie.
Applejack: For all the time you’ve spent with us, you really haven’t picked up too much in the way of friendship lessons, huh?
Twilight: You’ve been setting up challenges for us the whole time, haven’t you? None of our successes were actually real!
Discord: Of course they were. (Close-up.) You just had an extremely good-looking safety net. (Cut to Spike, hovering/landing out past Applejack/Fluttershy, on the following.)
Spike: And how was that supposed to help again? (Discord leans down to him.)
Discord: I intended to prepare Twilight for anything, by orchestrating an epic attack at her coronation.
(Now Rarity gallops up so close that two furious blue eyes can stare into mismatched red ones at point-blank range.)
Rarity: (pinning his beard under a hoof) You beastly beast! (She lets him stand again.) Don’t you know how much this day means to Twilight—and me? I made her dress! Why wait until now for such a horrible plan?
Discord: You don’t take a final exam on your first day of class. (showing one talon and two lion-paw digits) Just think. After defeating three baddies, Twilight would have to believe that she’s the leader we all know she is.
(Here comes Celestia, who hovers to get in his face.)
Celestia: (icily) You have made a grave misjudgment, Discord. Do you have anything else you would like to tell us?
Discord: Would you like the good news or the bad news?
Luna: That wasn’t the bad news?!?
Discord: All my chaos magic is…gone. Trapped in Grogar’s bell.
Spike: (sighing, hand to forehead) So what’s the good news?
Discord: Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy Glow now have all of the real Grogar’s magic.
Rainbow: (flying into his face) In what world is that good news?!?
Discord: (testily) Compared to me losing my powers, anything else is good news.
Celestia: (landing by dais) Twilight, Luna, we need to make a plan. Maybe it’s not too late to stop this disaster from happening.
(Twilight cringes mightily, finding the eyes of both sisters on her.)
Twilight: (massaging temples) I…I need some time to think first.
Discord: Well, there isn’t any time! Look what I overheard them saying!
(A snap accomplishes exactly nothing due to his lack of magic and leaves him rather vexed.)
Discord: Oh, just listen to my voice and use your imagination.
(Wavering dissolve to a white-ringed flashback of him watching the nefarious trio from a distance in Grogar’s lair—he has stopped briefly in his run for the exit after being found out in Act One. Each one speaks in his voice, with an appropriate exaggerated intonation—haughty for Chrysalis, goody-goody for Cozy, low-pitched and gravelly for Tirek with a hint of a Southern accent mixed in.)
Chrysalis: (floating bell up) Let the fool go. Without magic, he’s no threat. Besides, we have plans. (They gather around the central table.)
Cozy: The Lame Six are so busy being perfect. (Tirek flicks the dead crystal ball away and the bell is set down in its place.) They haven’t even noticed what we’ve been up to. Have I mentioned how great revenge is?
Tirek: Oh, I hope you got a name picked out for your future kingdom, because it’s time to destroy Equestria.
(All three laugh exultantly as Discord’s brain completely freezes up at what he has heard. Zoom in slowly on his stricken visage; a wavering dissolve presents him in the same pose in the present, and a quick zoom out frames the entire throne room.)
Discord: They’re probably on their way to attack Canterlot right now!
Pinkie: (fiercely) Then we’ll stop ’em!
Twilight: (flying down to floor level) How? Stopping Sombra by himself was hard enough, and that was with “Lord of Chaos” training wheels!
(Celestia swings down to lay a comforting, gold-shod hoof across the violet back, and Luna does the same during the next line.)
Celestia: Twilight, it doesn’t matter if Discord set up your successes or not. We believe in you, and always have.
Luna: Lean on your strengths to counter your weaknesses.
Twilight: My strengths?
(She looks ahead of herself, the camera cutting to her perspective and panning slowly across five ponies and one dragon whose mouths are stretched into the most supportive smiles of their lives. That dragon is also giving a thumbs-up. Behind them is one draconequus who is feeling more or less entirely out of place. The view shifts back to her, a new resolve taking hold.)
Twilight: Right! (trotting ahead a few steps) Spike! (He rises to meet her, pulls out quill and scroll, and starts writing.) Send a letter to Starswirl. Tell him we need the Pillars to guard the borders of Canterlot.
(The end of this line is delivered as a voice over when the view cuts to Starswirl the Bearded levitating in a meditative pose among an expanse of temple ruins. A wisp of pink smoke swirls into view and forms into a scroll, which he opens and reads.)
Twilight: (voice over) If the villains are coming for a fight, we’ll have one waiting for them.
(The eyes in the lined face narrow in steely determination, and a fold of his star/moon-decorated cape swings past the camera to shift the view to the headmare’s office within the School of Friendship. Starlight Glimmer—newly installed in the post as of “A Horse Shoe-In”—sits at the desk to read her own copy, and rookie guidance counselor Trixie stands by the chair to get a peek, having foregone her hat and cape. Worry and fighting spirit cross both faces.)
Twilight: (voice over) With Chrysalis on the loose, she’ll go after Starlight.
(Both of them gallop away in close-up and leave the letter behind, Trixie’s tail waving across the screen; behind it, wipe to Princess Cadence and Shining Armor perusing a copy within the Crystal Castle, up in the Crystal Empire. Flurry Heart naps peacefully, cradled in her father’s foreleg, and her mother’s field holds the message.)
Twilight: (voice over) Warn Cadence and Shining Armor.
(Longer shot: they are standing atop the dais in the throne room as three of their Royal Guard stallions await orders.)
Twilight: (voice over) They’re our final line of defense if we fail.
(A nod from Shining sends them to their duty stations. Wipe to the Canterlot Castle throne room.)
Twilight: (hovering) The ultimate battle for the fate of Equestria… (Zoom in quickly to a close-up.) …is coming!
(Dissolve to a stretch of Grogar’s lair, an incredulous Cozy hovering up into view.)
Cozy: We’re not going anywhere until you two stop arguing!
(Longer shot: Chrysalis and Tirek stand facing her across the central table.)
Cozy: (smiling sweetly) Chrysalis, say something nice about Tirek.
Chrysalis: (groaning loudly) He’s…red.
Cozy: Tirek?
Tirek: (very reluctantly) She’s, uh, not as annoying as I expected.
Cozy: Good! Now we were talking about Grogar’s bell.
Chrysalis: We should take the magic inside it. You know how powerful Discord was. That much chaos magic in our veins?
Tirek: But taking it all would be madness! It’s impossible for any other creature to control!
Cozy: I guess if you need a guinea pig to find out if anypony can use chaos magic, I’ll volunteer.
(She raises a hoof on the end of this and caps off the thought by dropping to rest her chin on the table, eyes big and gleaming eagerly. Her two fellow conspirators speak not a word, but fire up their horns and give the bell a hearty zap. Energized, it rises from the table, aims its clapper at the souped-up filly, and rings to create a vortex which proceeds to deliver a payload with all the grace and artistry of a fire hose. Reduced to a silhouette under the glare, Cozy begins to grow before the camera cuts to Chrysalis and Tirek, who soon find cause for alarm as her shadow extends to cover both of them. The bell has gone silent now. A gale of frighteningly unhinged laughter echoes through the cavernous space, and the camera cuts to a Cozy who has changed out of all proportion. She is still a winged unicorn, but now dwarfs Tirek roughly fourfold in height; the wings have become webbed and batlike, the mane/tail are masses of ringlets and tresses that wave on their own, and the eyes have gone a manic, pupil-less red with yellow whites and deep red lids above a cruelly fanged mouth. The band in her mane is now wrapped around her midsection, and both it and the one in her tail stream out for yards and yards in the unseen wind that surrounds her. A red helmet covers her head, and she wears an armored chest piece and shoes patterned after the chess castle/rook piece on her haunch. These latter two items fade from red to white, working upward. Her voice, considerably deeper than before, reverberates through the lair.)
Cozy: Fools! Now I have more power than all of you! Kneel before my might!
(She underscores the order by firing a horn blast into an upper reach of wall—but on impact, it forms into a rain of rubber chickens in various colors. These patter squeakily to the ground, bringing mocking grins to the faces of Chrysalis and Tirek. Angered by the unexpected comedy, the newly minted tyrant tries three more shots but only succeeds in creating a horde of jumping pineapples with mouths full of jagged teeth. The deranged fruits promptly swarm on their creator, chomping any bits of her they can reach and bringing a panicked cry from her throat.)
Cozy: Take it back! Take it back!
(The others use their magic to ring the bell again and reverse the transformation and Cozy’s spells, and she heaves for breath as it settles onto the table.)
Tirek: Still think chaos magic is a good idea?
Chrysalis: Leave it in the bell. We’ve got a kingdom to conquer. (They step to an exit, Cozy flying and carrying it.)
Cozy: So, where should we strike first?
Chrysalis: (chuckling nastily) Everywhere.
(Cut to a long shot of the lair and zoom out quickly as they dive/leap out and head in three different directions, then dissolve to the Canterlot Castle throne room. Twilight is now alone on the dais, all others facing up from ground level and joined by several members of the Royal Guard. Zoom in slowly.)
Twilight: (descending one level) We’ve faced enemies of Equestria before, and we’ve always succeeded. That wouldn’t be possible without all of you.
Discord: You’re welcome! (Displeased glares all around.)
Spike: Dude, read the room.
Twilight: (pacing) So I ask for your help again today, in what is our biggest battle yet. (hovering over dais) All of Equestria is at stake, and I can’t do this alone. (smiling) But I’m not afraid.
(Cut to Celestia/Luna at one end and zoom out slowly to frame the others.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) Because with friendship as our armor and teamwork as our power— (Longer shot of the entire gathering.) —nopony can ever bring us down!
(Comes now the sound of the doors being thrown open, accompanied by a camera-shaking crash.)
Cozy: (from o.s.) Oh, come on!
(Cut to her hovering in the doorway and dumping a squad of Royal Guard troops in an undignified, insensate heap.)
Cozy: (landing on them) Where’d you get that? A Daily Affirmations calendar? Yeesh!
Twilight: Cozy Glow? You’re—
Cozy: —about to wipe the floor with you!
(A carefully aimed spell drives the Princess into the back of her own throne, from which she dribbles to the dais in a moaning, semi-boneless pile. The onlookers voice a unison gasp of undiluted disbelief.)
Cozy: (from behind them) Wow. (They part just enough to allow a clear view of her.) It’s true. (Close-up.) Alicorns really do have more fun!
(She cranks off another shot on this last, firing directly at the camera. The screen goes pure white with its sheer intensity, then snaps to black.)
Act Three
(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of a grassy plain that ends abruptly at a ridge overlooking a wasteland of rocky spires. A cluster of ponies is barely visible on the ridge at this distance, but the next voice gives away one of them. It is now the following day.)
Starswirl: Spread out, and stay ready, friends.
(Head-on shot: he and the other Pillars of Equestria—Flash Magnus, Mage Meadowbrook, Mistmane, Rockhoof, Somnambula—make up the group, with Somnambula hovering above the others. Canterlot is now visible far behind them.)
Starswirl: Canterlot depends on us.
(The others fan out. In the air, Somnambula does a quick scan of her surroundings and throws a salute to Magnus, who returns it from a few hundred yards away. On the ground, Rockhoof makes ready with his shovel planted upright on the turf, blade end up; Meadowbrook pulls her bird mask down over her face, while Mistmane prepares a spell. The six guardians watch the silent crags intently for a long, silent few seconds that seem to last a week—and then they get a little action when some of the formations seem to collapse into dust and rubble on their own. Starswirl hurriedly levitates a spyglass up to one eye; cut to his perspective through it and zoom in quickly to a close-up of a ferally grinning Tirek as he surmounts one peak. A mighty leap, and he is gone from sight; cut back to Starswirl, who lowers the instrument because he does not need it to see this one crumbling away under the force of those four broad hooves. They slam onto the grass behind Starswirl, who drops the glass and quick-fires a spell that Tirek casually blocks with one of his wrist bracers. As he advances on Starswirl with a threatening chuckle, Rockhoof bites down on his shovel handle and charges in. One stomp from the colossus buckles the ground, raising a jagged line of stone slabs that Rockhoof hits head-on to knock himself out. Meadowbrook, Mistmane, and Magnus rush to join the fray by hoof, teleport, and wing respectively, but the spells from Mistmane and Starswirl and a packet of powder flung by Meadowbrook have no effect whatever. Tirek laughs off their efforts, snatches Magnus out of the air, and hurls him into the trio, knocking them flat. Somnambula dives toward the foe only to be swatted aside by one meaty red hand, and she winds up skidding away across the hardpan on her back. Tirek fires up his horns and greedily inhales streams of magic from the downed quartet before him.)
Tirek: (smacking lips noisily) Magic seasoned with age! Delicious!
(Cut to Rockhoof on the end of this line, Tirek’s hind leg planted in the foreground. The massive earth pony gradually comes around.)
Rockhoof: NO!!
(Jaws clamp onto wood for a fresh charge, he swings the shovel—and its blade shatters on contact with Tirek’s leg. Rockhoof barely has time to wrap his mind around the failure before the centaur’s magic envelops him from end to end; the ruined tool falls from his mouth as he is levitated up and drained of his power. By the time he hits the ground, he has shrunk to the scrawny, beardless appearance he originally had when introduced during the storytelling portions of “Campfire Tales.”)
Tirek: (leaning down to him) Oh, run along. The big stallions are playing. (Somnambula struggles to rise.)
Rockhoof: (weakly) Go, Somnambula! Warn the Princesses!
(In a burst of desperate exertion, the pegasus lifts off and rockets toward Canterlot. Tirek, though, leaps up and ahead to plant himself directly in her path; she slams flat into his chest and bounces to the ground, getting scooped up in almost the same instant. He promptly sucks down her power and tosses her aside.)
Tirek: Ahhh.
(Ground levels, she hits the dirt on her back and slides gracelessly to a stop near the other Pillars. On the start of the next line, cut to frame Tirek clomping away from them toward Canterlot.)
Tirek: The perfect dessert to a legendary meal.
(Wipe to Sandbar and his five friends in a crystalline cavern. A filly slides down a natural incline; Silverstream tries to catch her but is a bit too slow on the draw, and Smolder makes the interception and sets her down safely. Pan/tilt up quickly to Trixie at the top of the ramp, now wearing her hat/cape and helping another youngster down through an open hatchway in the ceiling. The sliver of library shelves visible through it suggests what the next shot confirms—that this is the library entrance to the caverns under the School that served as the milieu for most of “What Lies Beneath.” The floor grate covering the hatch has been set aside, and Starlight keeps an eye on the students who have lined up for this emergency bug-out.)
Starlight: Stay with your buddy! No running! Just follow Counselor Trixie!
Chrysalis: (from outside) Starlight, star bright,
Where’s the pony I want to fight?
(During this rhyme, the camera cuts to just outside the library windows, Starlight peeking fearfully out through one, and pans/tilts up to the hovering changeling. The view then returns to inside, Trixie having put the last student on the basement express.)
Starlight: I have to go. You got this?
Trixie: Nopony does a great and powerful escape like Trixie.
(After a last frantic embrace, the blue unicorn descends into the depths while levitating the grate back into place behind herself. The pinkish-violet one straightens up with a steely glare and teleports herself away; outside, she pops back in on a rooftop several feet behind Chrysalis.)
Chrysalis: (touching down to face her) Ahhh. Just the headmare I want to see.
Starlight: (icily) You didn’t make an appointment.
(With a savage yell and a blazing horn, she hurls herself across the space and tackles the foe, winking both of them away at the moment hooves meet carapace. They reappear in a snowy, windswept mountain pass, bouncing across the drifts and coming up separately.)
Chrysalis: What is this place?
Starlight: (horn glowing) Somewhere you can’t hurt anypony.
Chrysalis: (ditto) Wrong. I can hurt YOU!
(There begins a life-size game of whack-a-mole, with Starlight popping from one place to another and Chrysalis barely missing with every spell she fires off.)
Chrysalis: (groaning) Stay still so I can blast you!
Starlight: Oh, yeah! Real motivating!
(The next shot strikes home before she can teleport away, throwing her to the base of a rocky outcropping. An upward glance tells her of the unstable snow accumulations high overhead; she winks up to one of these ledges and holds her ground until an enraged, screeching Chrysalis flies up to this level. Only now does the unicorn go on the offensive, socking her in the gut with a close-range beam.)
Chrysalis: You’ll pay for that!
Starlight: (smirking) Put it on my tab.
(This time, her teleport deposits her just behind Chrysalis in midair; she hurtles backward while firing a blast into the snow-covered ledges to get them shaking. The frozen freight slides loose from its most precarious resting place and thunders down toward Chrysalis.)
Chrysalis: No!
(Try as she might, she is unable to get ahead of the avalanche before it engulfs her. Starlight poofs down to ground level and turns to walk stoically away from the scene, but a flare of yellow-green light from within the mounded snow stops her cold. This develops into a mighty blast, hurling her across the plateau and allowing Chrysalis to hover in the flurry-filled air. The hard landing leaves Starlight unconscious in close-up, and tendrils of green goo snake around her form and drag her away. By the time she comes to, Chrysalis has wrapped her from neck to tail in a cocoon and hoisted her up.)
Chrysalis: Now I’ll have all eternity to take my revenge on you!
(She flies off with her prize. Wipe to the Canterlot Castle throne room; a new contingent of Royal Guard unicorns has arrived and is shooting it out with the airborne Cozy, who has constructed a spherical shield to repel the fusillade. Her mocking pout goads them into a yelling charge, to which she responds by dropping the barrier and opening a portal directly in their path that leads to the outside. They slam on the brakes, but are unable to get enough traction on the carpet to stop themselves and end up toppling through. The other end proves to be several yards above the river outside the city’s main gate, and they plunge into the water with a series of undignified splashes. Inside the throne room, Cozy lets go with a maniacal laugh as Twilight, Celestia, and Luna regard her stonily from the dais. The portal has now been closed.)
Celestia: (stomping for emphasis) Stand down, Cozy Glow!
Cozy: (sweetly) Gee, I guess I could, but… (crazed) …I’m having too much fun!
(The full-power beam she fires down at the three leaves Twilight just enough time to cry out and project a force field to cover them.)
Celestia: (to Luna) Ready, sister?
(The younger sibling nods, and both lift off as Twilight drops the shield in confusion.)
Twilight: Wait! What are you—
(White and blue-violet horns go straight into overdrive and fire, their beams converging on a point a few feet ahead. From here, a single beam emerges in stripes of white, yellow, blue-violet, and dark blue—their respective coat and magic aura colors—and rips toward an insufferably smug Cozy. She levitates the bell out from behind herself, aims the clapper at the sisters, and lets it ring and produce a magic-sucking vortex. Celestia and Luna scream in agony as their power is vacuumed up, and they crash to the carpet once every last drop of it is gone—their manes/tails no longer billowing on their own.)
Twilight: (horrified) NOOOOO!! (She gallops down to them.)
Cozy: That’s the problem with you magic types. You’re so reliant on all your special power, you forget to use your brains!
Twilight: Keep telling yourself that. NOW!!
(Her five friends pour out from behind the throne. Rainbow is first up, flying an impossibly tight circle around Cozy that leaves her spinning out of control.)
Cozy: Whoooaaa!
(Pan to an extreme close-up of Pinkie, held aloft in a magic field and with a tubular device balanced on one shoulder and aimed directly at the camera. A longer profile shot picks this out as a bazooka sporting the same color scheme as her party cannon and aimed directly into Cozy’s face.)
Pinkie: SURPRISE ATTACK!!
(She fires a blast of confetti and streamers, knocking the winged terror back and herself in the opposite direction due to the recoil. The lifting power is courtesy of Rarity, who arrests her momentum safely. Cozy has barely had time to cough the colored paper bits from her lungs before Fluttershy is in the air, surrounded by several of the throne room’s guard geese.)
Fluttershy: Fly, my pretties!
(They do so in a raucously honking mass that sets Cozy to screaming and tumbling, but she gets herself and the bell under control. Spike shoots up to her level and empties his lungs in a mighty belch of fire, which she barely avoids, but Pinkie backs him up with a boost from Rarity and another salvo from her party bazooka. This too is a near miss, but it does leave her off guard for the geese’s next pass; once she has cleared her head, she fires after the birds and finds herself dodging more fireballs from Spike. The two-pronged assault leaves her reeling and yelling—and wide open for a lasso to flick up and catch her around the midsection. Applejack has the other end of the rope in her teeth, and one hard yank is all it takes to dump the adversary on the carpet. The bell clanks down within easy reach, and Cozy clutches it to herself with an almighty scowl as the whole Ponyville crew closes in from all sides. Pinkie no longer has her artillery piece.)
(Twilight spreads her wings to full extension and warms up her horn, ready to let this usurper have it in at least ten different ways. In close-up, a growing light begins to spill toward the terrified usurper from the throne end of the room. Her eyes widen in disbelief, then narrow in malicious glee as she lifts off with the bell, Applejack’s rope trailing behind her. The other seven turn in the direction she was facing and are rewarded with the sight of a blinding white radiance that is pouring through the stained-glass windows in the end wall. A mighty detonation shatters all of them, shreds the draperies, and blows all the occupants toward the doors, and Chrysalis and Tirek make their imperious entrance. She flies in through one frame, no longer hauling the cocooned Starlight; he climbs in after her, lands on the dais, and pushes Twilight’s damaged throne off the side as if it weighed no more than a folding chair. Discord stands exposed, having taken cover behind it; he slithers over the back edge, but Cozy’s magic snags him before he can get away and tosses him down with the other nine. Twilight erects a hemispherical shield around the group, whose members begin to stand up as the diabolical triumvirate approaches. Cozy has shed the rope, but the bell floats behind them.)
Chrysalis: You think your pathetic shield can stop us? (Laugh.) The Pillars have been defeated. Your school is abandoned. Face it, Twilight—you’ve lost!
Twilight: You can attack us, and we may fall— (Cut to Celestia/Luna standing by Rarity; she continues o.s.) —but Equestria will still stand— (To Fluttershy/Discord/Spike.) —united in friendship. (The entire group.) And we won’t stop until we defeat you— (To the villains; she continues o.s.) —no matter how many ponies you take down!
(This bit of oratory brings derisive laughter from its recipients, and Tirek leans down over the dome.)
Tirek: Didn’t you all notice something was wrong in Equestria? We’ve been busy. (Chrysalis hovers down by him.)
Chrysalis: A whisper here, a rumor there.
Tirek: Destroy some crops, cause some damage.
Cozy: (flying lazily past) Turn pony against pony.
Chrysalis: (leaning over Tirek’s shoulders) Until your whole kingdom is on edge, waiting for just one tiny thing to push them over the brink!
Tirek: There’s no backup friends or rainbow magic to save you now!
Cozy: Golly. I think it’s time for some redecorating!
(They turn to face the shattered windows and ignite their horns. Cut to a long shot of Canterlot—most of whose castle proceeds to disintegrate into gravel under their cranked-up three-way combo. Those protected by Twilight’s shield can only boggle in despair at their instant open-air view of the surrounding countryside as stone fragments rain down around them. An upside-down Chrysalis hovers into view from above.)
Chrysalis: (slowly rotating to plant her hooves on the floor) You know what’s stronger than friendship, Twilight?
(She slams her front hooves on the barrier, setting off a crackle of green sparks.)
Chrysalis: Fear!
(The violet mage cries out and strains to keep it in place, but it quickly cracks and shatters under the overload. Cut to a close-up of the group; on the next line, zoom out to frame Tirek approaching, then cut to Twilight being dragged up by his field, then back to him.)
Tirek: Because when you have to protect yourself, you don’t have time for anypony else!
(She ends up with both wings crushed together in one set of scarlet fingers and facing the whole trio.)
Cozy: Too bad you never taught that in school.
(The centaur prepares a spell…all the auras play across the whites of Twilight’s terror-stricken eyes…she throws up her forelegs in a last, surely fruitless attempt to ward off the inevitable…and then a broken slab goes flying under arcane control and plows the villains toward the doors. Dropped by Tirek, Twilight hits the carpet and looks up in surprise.)
Twilight: Huh?
(Only now does she see the white unicorn’s glowing horn and the hooves she has planted wide to brace herself. The grins they trade are cut short when the three stand up, Tirek idly brushing dust from his hands, and they let go with a magical triple whammy as Twilight scrambles back toward the others. Another corona-enveloped chunk is shifted into the line of fire, and a zoom out reveals this one to be under Twilight’s influence. She strains with every bit of her ability to hold it in place and let it take the brunt of the attack, but Rarity races up to push against it with plain ordinary leg-power.)
Rarity: Go, Twilight! Get help! (Applejack joins her.)
Applejack: We’ll hold him ’til you get back!
Twilight: No! I can’t leave you here!
Fluttershy: (joining in) It’s our only chance!
Rainbow: (ditto, from the air) You’ll come up with something to save the day!
Pinkie: (ditto) You always do!
(Celestia and Luna flank Rainbow to offer up a bit of higher-altitude reinforcement, and Spike hovers to pat Twilight’s shoulder.)
Spike: We believe in you!
(He zooms ahead to hold the line as Discord yanks Twilight back, the latter so startled that she extinguishes her horn.)
Discord: Fly, you foal!
(Seeing nothing more for it, and with the whole room now shaking and debris raining down from the ceiling, the “foal” in question turns away from the onslaught to face the dais while Discord throws his weight against the barricade. Cut to a head-on close-up and slow zoom in; tears pool in the purple eyes and her whole face scrunches up in a titanic effort as her horn works its way up to an incandescent white. She teleports away, leaving the others to brace a stone that has already begun to crack under the overwhelming magical strain. The glare grows to swallow them up and fill the screen, and the view snaps to a “To be continued…” title card and then to black.)
Continued in Part Two
CHANGES BETWEEN iTUNES VERSION AND DISCOVERY FAMILY PREMIERE
End of Act Three No “To be continued” title card
Scene fades to black after the glare of the three villains’
attack whites it out
Closing credits Deleted
THE ENDING OF THE END—PART TWO
Written by Michael Vogel
Produced by Devon Cody
Story editing by Josh Haber
Supervising direction by Jim Miller
Directed by Denny Lu, Mike Myhre
Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)
Note: See note at start of Part One.
Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to a “Previously on My Little Pony” title card, then to black, then snap to an overhead shot of the Canterlot Castle courtyard—Part One, Act One: preparations underway for Twilight Sparkle’s coronation as ruler of Equestria.)
Spike: (voice over) It’s not every day the Princesses pass all their responsibilities on to you and your friends.
(During this line, cut briefly to him measuring her head size as she sits on her new single throne, then to a slow pan across him, her warmly smiling friends, and Discord gathered before the dais in the throne room. Spike offers a thumbs-up, while Discord looks very much on edge. From, here, the view shifts to Chrysalis, Cozy Glow, and Lord Tirek in Grogar’s lair in the prologue; the goat’s bewitching bell rings and pours power to charge them all up.)
Princess Luna: (voice over) You wanted to boost Twilight’s confidence— (They drain Grogar’s magic, exposing him as Discord.) —so you brought back Chrysalis, Cozy Glow, and Tirek to attack her? (Cut to Cozy on the next line.)
Cozy: Discord was Grogar? (The throne room.)
Twilight: (to Discord) You’ve been setting up challenges for us the whole time, haven’t you? (He addresses the group in the courtyard.)
Discord: My bad.
(Cut from one Act Three battle to another: Tirek inhaling the magic from four knocked-out Pillars of Equestria, Starlight Glimmer being thrown back by Chrysalis’s explosive excavation from an avalanche in the snowy mountains, Cozy blasting a spell toward Twilight in the throne room and having it blocked just in time.)
Twilight: (voice over) The ultimate battle for the fate of Equestria is coming!
(Most of Canterlot Castle gets blown to pieces by the combined magical might of Chrysalis, Cozy, and Tirek. Inside the ruined throne room, Rarity shifts a hunk of debris to block another triple decker.)
Applejack: (voice over) We’ll hold ’em ’til you get back!
(Twilight’s five friends brace the rock, as do Luna and Princess Celestia—their motionless manes/tails speaking to the loss of their magic to the three assailants. Head-on close-up of Twilight, zooming in slowly on her teary eyes and blazing horn until she teleports out of the battle zone.)
Discord: (voice over) Fly, you foal!
(Behind her, he has joined the effort to hold the line. The stone begins to crack, and the glare from the mingled spells grows to engulf the defenders and fill the screen. Snap to black.)
OPENING THEME
Act One
(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of Canterlot, the sky now choked with a mixture of black clouds and the smoke wafting up from the razed castle. Zoom in slowly.)
Cozy: (voice over) And now for your complete destruction!
(Cut to a screenful of translucent green strands that have been stretched every which way in a crystalline cavern. The crazed filly hovers up into view beyond these.)
Cozy: Won’t that be fun?
Chrysalis: (from o.s.) Patience, Cozy.
(Cut to the cavern as she steps up to her partner in regime change. The strands—made of the same slime she uses in her cocoons—have been placed across an opening in a wall to pen in Twilight’s friends and Spike.)
Chrysalis: Destruction is so…permanent. We need to show the rest of Equestria that we’ve broken their heroes first. Besides…
(Long shot and slow pan across the space, which proves to be immense in all three dimensions. The walls are studded with more of these makeshift cells, and a few stone enclosures hang by cables from the ceiling. All are sealed with the green gunk, and Starlight and all six Pillars have been individually confined within some of them. Starlight has been released from the cocoon in which Chrysalis bound her during their Part One fight, and Rockhoof is still as scrawny as Tirek left him after the Pillars went down. Tirek enters, the bell already floating above the center of the floor and charged up for use.)
Chrysalis: …we should have fun with our guests.
Tirek: No! We should hunt down Twilight Sparkle! As long as she’s out there, she’s dangerous!
Chrysalis: (mockingly) Is that big strong minotaur that scared of one little pony?
[Note: Although modern interpretations of Greek mythology would classify Tirek as a centaur, some depictions from the Middle Ages did represent a minotaur as having four legs.]
Chrysalis: Relax. It’s not like her friends are going anywhere.
(Cut here and there among the Pillars during this line, ending on Starswirl the Bearded; he tries to get a spell going, only to have it fizzle out on his horn. Next, Chrysalis launches herself up to grab the side of Starlight’s suspended cage and set it swinging.)
Chrysalis: (climbing to the top) The fools brought the remains of my throne to Canterlot to protect themselves.
(Referring to the destruction of her magic-absorbing throne within the changeling hive during “To Where and Back Again.” She laughs, leaning close to cast her reflection in a gleaming fragment set in the roof.)
Chrysalis: Those shards block their magic.
(Cozy advances on the Ponyville prisoners, but Chrysalis yanks her back. Now other bits can be seen worked into the walls.)
Chrysalis: Careful. Too close, and the shards cancel even our powers. (She scratches a line in the dirt.) But on this side of the cavern, we’re the most powerful beings in Equestria! (All gather around the bell.) Thanks to Grogar’s bell.
(She addresses herself o.s., levitating a length of chain from the floor.)
Chrysalis: Isn’t that right…
(Cut to a defeated Discord standing in a near-lightless niche, the free end wrapped around his midsection.)
Chrysalis: (from o.s.) …“Grogar”?
(A solid yank topples him onto his face, and she and Tirek move slowly toward him, savoring the idea of getting a little payback. Cozy, on the other hand, takes advantage of their distracted attentions by turning the bell’s open end toward herself. Before she can ring it, though, Tirek leans hard into her face; she gasps in fright and lets go of the artifact.)
Tirek: What are you doing?! (backing her up slowly; camera follows) You saw what happened when you tried to take Discord’s chaos magic.
Cozy: (petulantly) Yeah, but there’s alicorn princess magic in there now too. (reaching for bell) I could be sooo much more powerful if I just could have—
Chrysalis: (from o.s.) What do you mean, you could be?
(The pint-size megalomaniac backs off at these words; cut to frame all three on their end, Chrysalis hovering to stare Cozy down.)
Cozy: Um, hello? I’m the best one out of all of us. (A rising growl from Tirek.) Nobody sees me—
Tirek: (drowning her out) WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?
Chrysalis: The best at what?
(During these last two lines and the lively argument that follows them, the camera slowly zooms out through a curtain of slime strands and stops in the Ponyville squad’s cell.)
Fluttershy: (to Rarity) This is really bad!
Applejack: (hushed) We gotta find Twilight! She’s probably already figured out some way to defeat those monsters!
Rainbow Dash: Any idea how we get out of here to do that?
(As the farming expert mulls this one over, Spike flies to the doorway and gives an experimental tug to tone strand; it takes some effort to pull free.)
Spike: (hushed) Too sticky. There’s no way anypony could get through this.
Discord: (from o.s.) I’m so sorry.
(Pan slightly to frame him standing outside the cell with head bowed in contrition.)
Discord: It made so much sense in my head. Twilight defeats her worst enemies and is filled with confidence. I truly did have the best intentions. I swear I’ll make it up to you.
(Not only does this reassurance completely fail to assuage the borderline-murderous looks from Applejack, Rainbow, Rarity, and Spike, it actually brings Fluttershy to the verge of tears.)
Rainbow: That’s gonna need to be a pretty epic make-up.
Tirek: (from o.s.) Stay away from the bell, you pest!
(Cut to the three wardens on the end of this; Cozy has made another move for it, but dives away when he fires a spell at her.)
Tirek: (grabbing it) None of us can use the alicorns’ magic until we figure out how to handle that fool’s ridiculous chaos magic!
Discord: (from o.s., casually) I could always tell you how.
(All the horns warm up as their wearers pivot toward his voice; cut to him, idly tossing a loose gem.)
Discord: It would give you power over all reality, but you’d have to ask nicely—and spare my friends. (Pan/zoom out to the cell on the next line.)
Spike: No, Discord! This isn’t the way to help!
Cozy: (sweetly) Discord, could you pweeeease— (Chrysalis’s aura shoves her back.)
Chrysalis: Threats are more my speed. SPEAK!!
Tirek: He’s lying! He won’t tell us! (Slow pan across the cavern.)
Discord: (affronted) I certainly won’t tell you, after the way you lied to me last time we teamed up, you muscle-bound cretin.
(Referring to the bargain they struck in “Twilight’s Kingdom” and Tirek’s decision to go back on his word.)
Tirek: (socking fist into palm) This cretin could destroy you before you blink, so choose your words carefully!
Discord: You’re right. “Cretin” is too polite. (pacing, tossing stone back and forth overhead) How about “pathetic centaur who uses magic to compensate for the fact that deep down, he’s afraid he’ll never be enough to please dear old Dad”? (Lean tauntingly into Tirek’s face.) King Vorak?
(Badly stung, Tirek gives him both barrels from his horns and sends him crashing into a pile of crystal shards. The spell ricochets off the gem he has been toying with and bounces crazily off walls, floor, and ceiling; Tirek gets one horn slightly singed, Chrysalis very nearly loses a hoof, and Cozy comes within an ace of being a blank flank. Once the energy has dissipated and the dust has cleared, the pegasus directs a gale of nasty laughter in the trickster’s direction.)
Cozy: You missed!
Starlight: (from o.s.) Did he, though?
(Cut to the upper portion of her cage. The gleaming piece set in the stone—a fragment of Chrysalis’s shattered throne—has taken the hit and broken to slivers that fall away one by one. Tilt down to frame the pinkish-violet horn going straight up to top gear; in a longer shot, Starlight swings it in the widest arc her head and neck will allow. Stone and slime alike part like wet tissue paper, and the entire bottom half of the cage falls away while she stays up with a bit of self-levitation.)
Chrysalis: GET HER!!
(The attackers begin launching spell after spell, but Starlight easily teleports away from each, adding a mocking wave or blown raspberry every now and then to rub it in. She fetches up next to Discord and the Ponyville cell.)
Applejack: Get Twilight!
Starlight: No way! She’s always needed you guys!
(Channeling full power into her horn, she floats a foot or two off the ground and uncorks a shock wave that radiates out in all directions to disintegrate the slime sealing the cells and cages. Almost as soon as she settles down to all fours, though, she takes one from Chrysalis in the back and ends up face-down on the floor. The power-mad threesome close in, ready to finish the job, but Celestia drops into view and plants all four hooves protectively around Starlight. Luna touches down a moment later—and if they were angry with Discord when he revealed his deception in Part One, they are now ready to eat these three alive. The Ponyville six emerge from their cell.)
Celestia: Find Twilight! We may not have our magic, but we aren’t completely helpless! We’ll hold them off as long as we can.
(The two sides charge at one another—Celestia/Luna/Starlight against Grogar’s all-stars—as the others back off with great trepidation.)
Rainbow: (to Discord, awestruck) That was a pretty epic make-up!
Discord: Just save Equestria! (calling after them, as they peel out) And keep Fluttershy safe!
(With the Pillars joining the free-for-all, he starts gathering up the shiny bits from where he fell and scattering them around the floor. Wipe to an extreme close-up of a brick wall, a healthy portion of which flies apart under the impact of Applejack’s rear hooves from the other side, and zoom out. She pushes a few more blocks aside, their mortar loosened by the hit, and the whole gang pours out into what remains of the daylight. The wall is one that Shining Armor ordered built to seal off the entrances to the tunnels beneath Canterlot Castle, as part of the security upgrade in “Sparkle’s Seven.” A jittery unicorn stallion leans into view in the foreground to face them.)
Stallion: Why are you out in the open? (A longer shot frames a bulging sack on his back.) Hide!
(The mares and dragon approach, slowly and cautiously.)
Rarity: Where is everypony?
Stallion: (pointing off to one side) The unicorns have been gathering in Celestia’s School of Magic ever since the attack. That’s where I was headed when I saw you.
Rainbow: What about the earth ponies and pegasi?
Stallion: It’s everypony for themselves.
Applejack: That ain’t right.
Stallion: Well, you can all stand out here and debate. I’m going where I’m safe.
(He gallops away toward the educational facility in question, also known as Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, whose windows have all been boarded up.)
Spike: Chrysalis was telling the truth. They really have turned ponies against each other! (Fluttershy huddles behind Pinkie Pie.)
Applejack: Everypony’s scared, that’s all. We just need to get to Ponyville and find Twilight, pronto. (Stomp for emphasis.) She’ll know how to set things right.
(They race for the city gate, Rainbow and Spike flying—and none of them noticing a single snowflake that has begun its leisurely journey from sky to grass. Dissolve to a long overhead shot of the Ponyville town square, zooming in slowly. A significant crowd has gathered in front of the town hall, on whose second-story balcony Mayor Mare can just be discerned at this distance.)
Mayor Mare: Please, stay calm! (Closer shot from ground level.) I know it seems bad, but there’s no need to panic!
(Cut to just behind her on the balcony; now one more detail becomes apparent—every single member of the crowd is an earth pony.)
Mare 1: GIVE US ONE GOOD REASON NOT TO!!
(Her outburst touches off a steady stream of angry yells and waving hooves, leaving the elected official looking wildly about herself for any way to escape the crowd’s wrath. She calms down with a sigh upon looking off to one side, and her next smiling words go far to lower the hostility level.)
Mayor Mare: (pointing that way) Because Ponyville’s own heroes of Equestria are here to save us!
(Eyes turn to follow her hoof and are rewarded with the sight of the six escapees making their way onto the scene. Applejack steps in among Apple Bloom, Big Macintosh, Sugar Belle—his new wife, as of “The Big Mac Question”—and Granny Smith.)
Applejack: Where’d all these ponies come from?
Granny: Earth ponies been pourin’ in, lookin’ for somewhere safe.
Mare 1: We don’t have unicorn magic to protect us, or a city in the sky to hide in like those cowardly pegasi! (Rainbow swoops down to get in her face.)
Rainbow: Cowardly?!
(Any further words go unspoken for the moment as a shadow casts itself over the entire town square, caused by a steady thickening in the cloud cover. Cloudsdale can be seen floating above it, visible through a shrinking gap.)
Mare 1: They’re blocking Cloudsdale! Said they didn’t want any grounded ponies up in their business.
Rainbow: (jabbing her in the chest) Listen up, buddy! (Fluttershy shoves them apart.)
Fluttershy: Don’t! That’s exactly what Chrysalis and the others want—more fighting. (Overhead shot.) We know you’re scared. (Rainbow backs off.) We’re here to help!
(Ground level; a second, incensed mare rises to her hind legs among the throng.)
Mare 2: Oh, you better fix this!
(There follows a cacophony of angry words directed at the group as Fluttershy backs up worriedly to the others.)
Applejack: (to the group) Twilight’s probably as worried as everypony else and tryin’ to find somewhere safe. That’s why I was sure she’d be waitin’ for us in Ponyville. Where else could she be?
(Equine brains process this puzzler silently, but the one with wings and scales is first to hit on something promising.)
Spike: (gasping, snapping fingers) I know where Twilight is!
(Wipe to a pair of closed doors, which open under magic control to frame the throne room of the Crystal Castle, in the Crystal Empire. Royal Guard stallions are lined up stoically on either side of the carpet leading to the dais, on which Princess Cadence and Shining are standing before the throne. Cadence holds Flurry Heart in a foreleg, and Shining has donned his armor, but no helmet. Applejack and company enter.)
Cadence: Oh, thank Celestia you’re all all right. (glancing toward ceiling) She’s upstairs. It’s…not good.
(Close-up of another door, which bursts open to admit the gang as the camera zooms out quickly. They are standing/hovering inside a small room cluttered with books, notes, and scrolls; a blackboard covered with formulas and notes, both chalked and tacked on, is off to one side on a movable stand. Twelve eyes go very, very wide in brain-locking confusion, and the camera cuts to just behind them, framing a distraught Twilight sitting on her haunches in the middle of the floor and studying several pages held in her aura.)
Twilight: You’re here?
(The documents have barely hit the floor before she finds herself enveloped in a massive group hug.)
Twilight: I was so worried! Where are the Princesses?
Pinkie: They put up a crazy fight so we could escape and find you. (saluting) Mission accomplished! (Twilight stands and backs off slowly.) Now let’s save Equestria!
(A banner unrolls itself from the ceiling amid its hanging models and a shower of confetti and streamers. It displays two images of Twilight’s grinning visage, one of them winking, along with a horseshoe, star, heart, and a copy of her cutie mark.)
Pinkie: Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Yeah!
Twilight: (softly) They made a terrible mistake. You all did. (levitating/opening a book, floating a scroll and paper away) From the second I got away, I’ve been searching every book, scroll, and spell for a way to rescue you and stop Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy, but I haven’t found anything!
(Her field slams the covers together and dashes the reference to the floor.)
Twilight: I failed. (She sits facing away from them; Spike hurries across.)
Spike: You’ll come up with something. We can’t save Equestria without you.
Twilight: (bitterly, standing/pacing) You all escaped without my help. You didn’t need me then, so why would anypony need me now? (She sulks at a table.)
Rainbow: We know things look bad, but we’ve been in tough spots before and we always—
Twilight: Look around. Nothing we’ve ever done has mattered.
(She crosses to a group of photographs tacked up on a wall: one each of King Sombra, Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy, all connected by strings to a higher-placed one of Discord. On the next line, her field removes and crumples the images of the named villains, then lets them fall.)
Twilight: Sombra? Returned and destroyed the Tree of Harmony. Chrysalis, Tirek, Cozy Glow? Returned and more powerful than ever. The School of Friendship? Shut down. Everypony in Equestria is so blinded by fear, they can’t remember what friendship is! Nothing we do makes any difference!
(Having reached the apex of her frustration, she thumps her face into a nearby book stand. Long pause.)
Pinkie: (smiling) But we’re still free and together.
Rainbow: And it’s not like things could get any worse.
(A screeching roar scares the whole lot of them into a glance across the room. Cut to just outside one window as they open it, the camera zooming out quickly to a longer shot. The wind has already begun to howl through a sky streaked with foreboding gray clouds, one of which forms into a thickening spiral to serve as a backdrop for the appearance of three spectral, circling windigos.)
Spike: (dryly) Haven’t we learned never to say that by now?
(All gaze skyward, minds paralyzed with fear. Fade to black.)
Act Two
(Opening shot: fade in to the screaming windigos in a sky rapidly filling with snow flurries. Zoom out to frame a freaked-out earth pony mare pointing at them from ground level.)
Mare 3: The windigos!
(Overhead shot of the Ponyville town square; she is among those gathered here, and Mayor Mare is down at the front steps of the town hall rather than on the second-story balcony.)
Mare 1: Pfft! That’s just a Hearth’s Warming Eve story.
Mare 3: Creatures made of wind that spread cold and misery across the land to punish ponies? (Cut to them; she continues o.s., jabbing a hoof toward their circle.) Seems pretty real to me!
(Ground level; she gallops up onto the porch and leans over its railing.)
Mare 3: Let the pegasi deal with this! There’s nothing we can do except hide!
(There follows a jabbering flight in all directions, leaving the square empty except for one—Sandbar, whose bafflement gives way to grim resolve as he holds his position. Cut to a long shot of Cloudsdale and zoom in slowly, the view partly obscured by pegasi straining to push clouds into place against the high wind. One stallion goes tumbling, his cloud flying apart.)
Mare voice: That’s enchanted wind!
(Cut to the speaker, standing on a crate and addressing a crowd in a street. She and they, naturally, all have wings.)
Mare 4: We can’t control it, and we can’t rely on those snooty unicorns for any help. Build up the cloud bank! We’ll try to block it!
(She receives a round of solemn nods from her listeners, all of whom lift off to get on the job except for one colt.)
Pegasus colt: What about everypony down below?
Mare 4: They’re on their own. We all are.
(She gets flapping to join the effort, leaving him alone to begin thinking carefully. Wipe to the windigos in fine voice—relatively speaking—and zoom out to frame their image in the objective lens of a spyglass held in a unicorn’s field. It protrudes through the boards covering one window of Celestia’s School, as seen in Act One, and a cut to inside frames the user as Chancellor Neighsay in one of the classrooms. He pulls back with a fearful grimace, but gets himself under control in time to set the glass down and direct a stoic nod to the unicorn who left the Ponyville six to fend for themselves. This one turns to the horned ponies who have taken shelter here.)
Stallion: Fortify the shields around the School of Magic! We need to protect ourselves! It’s all we can do.
(The refugees disperse to follow his orders—all except for one very worried filly. A mass of snowflakes blows past the camera, the view shifting to just outside the open window in the Crystal Castle room that Twilight commandeered for her emergency study session. She and the rest of the bunch are staring out, at a loss for how to proceed.)
Rainbow: We have to do something! (Inside, Twilight sullenly paces the floor.)
Twilight: I’ve already done enough.
(She rests her head on a table, face down, and Applejack crosses to her as Rarity magically shuts the window. Pinkie’s celebratory banner has been taken down from the ceiling.)
Applejack: You want the truth, Twilight? Bad things happen. No matter what you do, there’s never gonna be a time when everything’s perfect. But that don’t mean you quit tryin’! (Twilight lifts her head and rounds on the earth pony.)
Twilight: What if I make things worse?! (despondently, standing; slow pan) Ever since Celestia told me I was taking over, I’d been gaining confidence. Then I find out it’s all a lie. Equestria’s been falling apart around us and I didn’t even notice! What kind of princess does that make me? (crying) I’m scared.
(None of the other six can think up any appropriate way to respond to this expression of her self-doubt and fear for a few unbearably long seconds. Fluttershy is first to move, stepping across to Twilight; close-up of the violet face being lifted gently by a yellow hoof. Fluttershy’s own features are reflected in the teary purple eyes.)
Fluttershy: I probably know more about being scared than anypony. (Cut to her; she backs off while continuing.) But thanks to all of you, I’ve learned I’m always less scared when I’m with my friends.
(The others are all smiling by the time she finishes; now Rainbow darts forward.)
Rainbow: If we’re facing impossible odds, we’re facing them together!
Rarity: It’s what we always do, darling. (Twilight stands up.)
Twilight: But we’re on our own, and we have no idea what to do. (Pinkie slides across the floor on her back, head propped on a foreleg.)
Pinkie: That’s true pretty much every time something terrible is about to happen.
Twilight: (stepping over her) We don’t have the Elements of Harmony anymore. How can you all be so calm about this? (Spike flies to her side.)
Spike: Because even if you don’t believe you can do this… (patting her shoulder) …we do.
(Cut to her perspective and pan slowly across four of the five mares who have, singly and in combination, seen just about every type of craziness Equestria can throw at a pony. Pinkie is the only one missing.)
Spike: (from o.s.) We believe in you— (leaning into view) —and us.
(The pink nut pops up with a dazzling grin; back to Twilight.)
Applejack: (crossing to her) The truth is, all our lives wouldn’t be the same if we hadn’t met. (poking Twilight’s chest) We’re better off because of our friendship with you. (backing up) So when you say you haven’t made a difference, that’s just not true. You’ve made a big difference—to us.
(Tears start to collect in the purple eyes again, this time over a grateful smile.)
Twilight: Thank you. (She floats a handkerchief over to dab them away.) Sometimes even the Princess of Friendship needs a reminder that there’s more to the magic of friendship than rainbow lasers. (Spike drifts over to her, hovering on his back.)
Spike: Although that part is pretty cool.
(The two share a wink as she pulls him into a hug and the other five waste no time joining in.)
Twilight: We still need a plan.
(The door swings open to frame a determined Cadence and Shining on the threshold, the Princess carrying Flurry.)
Cadence: That sounds like the pony I used to foal-sit for. (All turn to her.) Count us in.
Twilight: (crossing to her) No. You need to stay here and protect Flurry Heart. If we don’t—i-if things don’t work out, she’s Equestria’s last hope.
(Her BBBFF’s eyes tear up as the full import of her words sinks in.)
Twilight: (pacing) Okay. Three of our worst villains have taken over, powered up by ancient magic. Everypony in Equestria is so scared and divided that the windigos re circling, and it’s up to us to fix it all.
Pinkie: What are we gonna do, Twilight? (Twilight gazes out at the frigid airborne menaces.)
Twilight: The same thing we do every time, Pinkie… (pivoting to her with a mad grin) …try to save the world.
(Dissolve to the remains of the Canterlot Castle throne room. Framed from behind in a long shot, Tirek paces the dais, staring at the windigos and the nightmarish winter they have unleashed.)
Tirek: Every prisoner is safely in their cells.
(His movement exposes the presence of Chrysalis and Cozy on the end of this. Cut to an overhead close-up of all three, the youngest having wrapped herself in a blanket for warmth.)
Tirek: (socking fist into palm) Now we can hunt down the rest of the… (puzzled, shading eyes to peer ahead) …windigos?
Cozy: (shivering) I’m not hunting anypony d-d-d-d-d-down in this weather. Can’t we magically get rid of them and w-w-w-warm things up?
Chrysalis: I don’t think we should. (Close-up; she rubs her front hooves together calculatingly.) This could work out quite well for me.
Tirek: (from o.s.) You mean “us”!
(Zoom out on the end of this to frame the massive centaur glaring down at her and jerking a thumb toward himself.)
Chrysalis: The harsh weather is the final blow to break the ponies’ spirits. (pacing dais) Once Equestria is a frozen wasteland, we’ll use our magic to destroy those windy beasts. (Cozy rises to a hover, blanket and all.) Ponies will be so grateful, they’ll do whatever I want.
(One armored hoof clinks against the marble surface as she finishes this bit of monologuing.)
Tirek: The windigos are ancient magic. It would be unwise to leave them unchecked. (Profile close-up.) Best we deal with them now.
(Chrysalis responds by leaning into his face with a growling hiss; zoom out to frame Cozy on the start of the next line.)
Cozy: (shivering, but not as badly as before) We probably should deal with Twilight and her friends before anything else.
Tirek: I thought it was too cold for you to hunt anypony down.
Cozy: (needled) We don’t need to. (She points at a distant speck in the countryside.) They’re right there!
(Zoom in quickly on the speck, which resolves into a small dark blotch, and cut to Twilight and company on their grim advance across the windswept plain.)
Spike: (to Twilight) You think they know we’re here?
(All halt, popeyed and poleaxed, as a vortex opens in their path to disgorge the three schemers and the bell.)
Applejack: I’d say they have an idea.
(Snap to black.)
Act Three
(Opening shot: fade in to the windigos and tilt down to a long shot of the face-off. In close-up, the unholy trinity advances slowly across the plain, Tirek socking one fist into his other palm in sadistic anticipation. Zoom in quickly on the bell keeping pace with them, then cut to Twilight and company on the start of the next line.)
Twilight: That bell has Discord, Celestia, and Luna’s magic inside. If they use it against us—
Fluttershy: Discord’s magic is so chaotic, he’s the only one who can use it. (Back to the villains on the next line.)
Chrysalis: You just can’t accept that you were beaten before you even realized there was a fight, can you? (To Twilight’s faction.)
Twilight: You can’t beat us if we never give up! As long as I have my friends by my side, I’ll put my faith in friend—
Cozy: (from o.s.) Ugh! (The trio again.) Can we get on with this, please?
(She goes into a slow, rotating ascent, power trailing from her horn, and uncorks a humdinger of a spell toward the septet. Its sheer force turns the spot where they are standing in to a smoking crater and leaves no trace of them. However, a zoom out into a patch of bushes several yards away is accompanied by the flash of Twilight’s magic and her reappearance on the far side of the greenery—she made it out just in time. She peeks through to see the aspiring conquerors move toward the blast site.)
Twilight: We need to get that bell and get Discord and the Princesses their magic back.
(Cut to frame her addressing the others, also safe and sound thanks to a group teleport.)
Twilight: Rainbow Dash, Pinkie, you’re with me. (Close-up of Rainbow.)
Rainbow: Sweet! I’ll grab that bell in ten seconds—
Twilight: (from o.s.) No… (Back to her.) …we’re the distraction. (Her perspective, pointing at Applejack/Fluttershy/Rarity/Spike.) They’re gonna get the bell.
(Genuine surprise steals across all four faces at this pronouncement. Now Chrysalis blows apart a stand of trees, while Tirek hefts/throws a boulder knocked loose by the explosion and Cozy peers into the crater.)
Chrysalis: Come out, come out, wherever you are.
Cozy: (pointing) There!
(Twilight, Pinkie, and Rainbow break into the open with a feral yell, hooves and wings working overtime, and the villains race to meet them. Beams from Cozy rip up the meadow in a vain attempt to wipe out the nimble pegasus, who cuts a hairpin turn around her tight enough to leave her spinning in its wake.)
Cozy: Whoa!
(Tirek makes a move to assist, but Twilight zaps herself into his path and lights her horn. He just smirks and jerks his head from side to side in order to loosen up his neck, then floats up a scatter of boulders and projects them her way. Bounding easily from one to the next, she hurls herself and a spell toward him with a scream; the shot finds its mark on his face, dumping him onto his belly and knocking out a tooth. Tirek works his lower jaw back and forth to make sure nothing else is broken, gets to his hooves, and rushes at the winged unicorn—too slow, though, as she has more than enough time to teleport out of the way. Chrysalis has hung back with the bell throughout the fracas, but gets an up-close visit from Pinkie in a red/white-striped vest, red bow tie, straw boater hat, and black mustache.)
Pinkie: Step right up, evil fillies and gentle-villains!
(In an instant, she has produced a carnival wheel divided into six sections, each marked with the face of a different mare. A pointer extends from the center to brush against the pegs set in the outer edge.)
Pinkie: Try your luck!
(Chrysalis instead chooses to try blasting her into powder, but Pinkie jumps away and plasters herself across the wheel. It breaks loose from its mounting and rolls away through the meadow, away from her growling second shot; a third scores a direct hit and burns the thing to ashes. Pinkie sticks her head out from a nearby bush, having somehow bailed out before the incineration, and manages to shift from one hiding place to another as the spells keep coming. First up after the bush is a hole in the ground, covered by a rock that she lifts above herself.)
Pinkie: Missed me! (Another bush.) Close, but no cherry chimichanga! (Chrysalis’s shoulder, with a laugh and holding up a doll in the changeling’s image.) Thanks for playing!
(It is promptly burned to cinders on her hoof; she offers a big goofy grin and makes a break for it with Chrysalis hot on her tail. The bell is left unattended as all three miscreants slug it out with their respective adversaries, giving Applejack’s squad ample opportunity to gallop toward it.)
Cozy: Do they have to be so annoying?! (A thought occurs to Chrysalis.)
Chrysalis: Not annoying… (pointing toward bell; zoom out quickly to frame it) …distracting!
(Rarity has risen to her hind legs and lifted her front hooves so Applejack can balance on them, one end of her trusty rope in her teeth. The lasso loop on the other end is held by a hovering Fluttershy and Spike, who are getting into position to drop it over the bell. A beam from Chrysalis very nearly gets all four at once and sends them into a hasty retreat. Spike takes one in the back and hits the turf hard; Rarity pivots to face Chrysalis and conjures up a small shield to stop the next assault, but it shatters after a few seconds. The maddened changeling zeroes in, ready to finish her off, but Spike gets up and exhales a jet of flame to counteract her beam. Their two attacks cancel out partway between them, with the point shifting first toward Spike and then Chrysalis as they strain to overwhelm one another. Spike eventually wins, forcing her backwards into the air, but she quickly recovers and fires again, throwing him and Rarity in opposite directions and carving a deep divot in the grass.)
(Elsewhere, Applejack still has her rope in her teeth and is galloping at full speed to stay ahead of Tirek and his spell rampage. She lassos the bell and slides to a stop, pulling with all her might; it does not budge, though, and the centaur is quick to break the rope and sling the blond mare away. Here comes Fluttershy, wings pumping as she closes in on the prize, but a cruelly smiling Cozy drops in next to her.)
Cozy: Now, now, Professor. We all know you’re not the fast one.
(Pulling ahead, she lets one rip at point-blank range. The screen fills with its blood-red glare and snaps to an overhead shot of the other five mares; the semi-conscious sixth tumbles from the sky and is caught by Rainbow. Pinkie has now shed her carnival getup.)
Chrysalis: (from o.s.) Enough!
(All three foes gather facing them, Cozy holding the bell. During the next line, Chrysalis floats Spike out from behind herself, his wings magically stretched out to either side.)
Chrysalis: Or the dragon’s wings get plucked!
(A jerk pulls them out even farther and elicits a yell of pain from the little guy.)
Twilight: Please! Don’t hurt him!
Spike: Don’t worry about me! Just save—
(He trails off into another yell, and Rainbow sets Fluttershy down. Five equine heads sag in defeat, the only exception being that of the ace aviator, who shoots Twilight a look that might translate as “what are you, nuts?” The terrible team closes the gap slowly, Chrysalis tossing Spike across to be caught in Twilight’s aura; cut to these two on the start of the next line.)
Tirek: Turns out that the magic of friendship is your biggest weakness! (Back to the three, all horns warming up.) A fitting end to your pathetic story.
Rainbow: (to the others) No matter what, we face it together!
(They huddle in, facing front with assorted degrees of fear and defiance, and the camera cuts to a long shot of the two sides under the whirling, screeching windigos. The spells fire as one, the camera shifting to ride with them toward the unmoving targets, and the view fades to white as they rip toward Twilight’s eyes.)
Voice of Spike: What happened? Can I open my eyes?
Voice of Applejack: You sure can!
(Fade in slowly to the group, still in one piece and surrounded by a sparkling domed shield. They open their eyes, flabbergasted to find themselves alive and thus protected from the malevolent energy coming their way. Neither Twilight’s nor Rarity’s horn is lit, leaving the source of this barrier a mystery.)
Applejack: Way to go, Twilight! (The bombardment stops.)
Twilight: It’s not me.
(The sound of hooves pounding against ground—dozens, hundreds, more—draws their attention toward the mountain peaks, and a long shot frames a small army of black specks gaining one summit. They are suffused with the same glow as the shield, and a close-up picks out the new arrivals. The unicorns who took cover in Celestia’s School, every horn aglow to mark them as the ones casting the shield; the Wonderbolts, griffons, hippogriffs, changelings; dragons, yaks; buffalo; kirin; earth ponies; pegasi; even Zecora. Neighsay and Tempest Shadow are on the front lines, the latter having traded the armor she wore in My Little Pony: The Movie for a dark cloak and scarf. The sky and land are soon thick with defenders of all shapes, sizes, and species, and Macintosh leads a ground-based charge while Spitfire gives a signal for the air crews to back him up. As the reinforcements pour down the mountain, the pegasi make pass after pass near the three villains, stirring up dust and fog to obscure their vision. Changelings at full gallop transform into duplicates of Twilight and her friends, and yaks bring up the rear as the real ponies find themselves being lifted clear of the ground within their shield.)
Tirek: DON’T LET THEM ESCAPE!! (Cozy climbs onto his head for a better look.)
Cozy: Which ones?
(Chrysalis fires blindly into the haze, but stops short when the ground begins to tremble—caused by the yaks’ rhythmic stomping. She loses her balance and winds up on her haunches; meanwhile, Tirek swats fruitlessly at the airborne figures darting this way and that and Cozy, now off his head, finds herself spinning in place.)
Cozy: Whoa!
(Total mayhem reigns on the field, with the trio unable to score any hits. Twilight and her crew are lowered onto the mountaintop with those who have hung back—including Sandbar and his friends—and the shield expands to cover all of them.)
Thorax: (to Twilight) The changelings won’t fool them forever, and I don’t know how long the unicorns’ shield will hold! (She turns to survey the brawl.)
Twilight: I don’t understand. How are you all here?
Gallus: (from o.s.) That’s kinda our fault.
(Cut to the circle of student friends.)
Smolder: You know those long lectures about friendship you give at school?
(Wavering dissolve to the windigos, then cut to the Act Two panic in the Ponyville town square. Sandbar holds his ground among the tumult for some moments, then throws a crate onto the turf and stands atop it. The pell-mell scramble stops at his words.)
Sandbar: We all know the story of Hearth’s Warming Eve! We can defeat the windigos together!
Berry Punch: You really think if we all sing a couple songs, everything will be fine?
Sandbar: (pushing her back) It’s not just singing that saved the founders of Equestria! It’s what it represented!
(Dissolve to the unicorn filly who seemed a bit discomfited at the situation in Celestia’s School and zoom out slowly. She is standing on the classroom’s front desk for the height boost needed to look this bunch straight on.)
Unicorn filly: Earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi becoming friends. We learned at Twilight’s school that friendship is the most powerful magic there is.
(Pan quickly to the pegasus colt who had trouble accepting the order to barricade Cloudsdale. He hovers above one of its streets to address his fellow citizens.)
Pegasus colt: Focusing on our differences keeps us divided! (Zoom out slowly.) Villains and creatures like the windigos use that division against us!
(Tilt down quickly to a close-up of Yona.)
Yona: (holding up one front hoof at a time) Yaks strong! Ponies strong! (clapping them against each other) But yaks and ponies stronger together!
(Longer shot: she is in Yakyakistan, seated at a table to address an outdoor meeting of her elders.)
Yona: (pounding table) Yaks must be loyal to pony friends!
(A massive, stony outcropping passes the camera; behind it, wipe to a gathering in the Dragon Lands. At this distance, two colored specks can be discerned on the natural throne: a blue one as Dragon Lord Ember with the Bloodstone Scepter in hand, and an orange one as Smolder. Zoom in slowly.)
Smolder: I know helping other creatures by being kind and generous sounds lame. (Close-up; she hovers just off the edge as she continues.) But I’ve seen how powerful it can be!
Gallus: (swooping past in extreme close-up) Playing together!
(His passage wipes the view to the upper reaches of Griffonstone, and he pulls into a hover.)
Gallus: Singing together, even laughing together! (Long shot; he is speaking to locals gathered in the street.) That’s what real heroes look like!
(Pan quickly to a close-up of Silverstream, underwater as a sea pony.)
Silverstream: Were we really happy by ourselves at the bottom of the ocean?
(A long shot puts her in Seaquestria, speaking to a crowd that includes Queen Novo and Princess Skystar.)
Silverstream: Be honest! It’s the ponies that showed us a better way!
(Ocellus rises into view in extreme close-up. She hovers away from the camera as she speaks, revealing that the scene has shifted to the changeling hive.)
Ocellus: They’ve taught us how powerful love and the magic of friendship truly is!
(Longer shot: she addresses a gathering in Thorax’s open-air throne room, with him on the seat of power.)
Ocellus: We can’t let them stand alone! We’re their friends! They need us!
(Wavering dissolve to the six star students in the present, zooming out slowly.)
Applejack: (from o.s.) How ‘bout that.
(Cut to Twilight and company, the former headmare’s eyes shining with proud tears.)
Applejack: (to her) It’s just like you said the day we opened that school.
Spike: The more creatures who know about friendship, the safer we’ll be.
Pinkie: We told you you had it all figured out.
(Twilight basks in her friends’ gentle encouragement for as long as it takes a changeling to hit the shield spreadeagle and slide slowly down. Soarin’ is next to wipe out in this manner, followed by the shattering of the entire barrier. Through the dense fog stirred up by the pegasi, the three invaders have begun to get the upper hand, tossing and shooting their harassers with relative impunity. Tirek puts an end to it by leaping high and slamming one huge fist into the ground, sending out a shock wave that clears the air and sends all the resistance tumbling. He, Chrysalis, and Cozy regroup with unbridled fury in all six eyes and charge the mountain, only to be brought up short by a blinding beam that rips a furrow into the sod at their hooves.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) ENOUGH!! (Cut to her, hovering near the peak.) Because of you, I almost lost my way. (gesturing to the massed forces) But everycreature here has reminded me of the true power of friendship. (The downed troops ascend.) There will always be darkness in the world, but there will also always be those who find the light.
(Her entire body begins to glow a brilliant violet; cut to Flash Magnus, Rockhoof, and Somnambula within one of the slime-coated underground cells. White energy wreathes them and they too vanish.)
Twilight: (voice over) The Pillars knew this.
(Celestia, Luna, and Starlight exit their shared cell in this way; now prisoners start vanishing all over the cavern, to Discord’s joy.)
Twilight: (voice over) That’s why they created the Elements of Harmony.
(He is a little sad at finding himself all alone, but his spirits rise again as he too gets a dose of the mystic energy as his ticket out. Celestia/Luna/Starlight fade in on the mountaintop; the still-glowing Pillars float alongside Twilight and Rockhoof regains his king-size stature.)
Twilight: The Elements showed me and my friends how strong our friendship could be. (Cut to her friends and Spike; she continues o.s.) Together we work to bring harmony to Equestria! (The white aura surrounds and lifts them.) But there will always be more to do— (Cut to Sandbar and his crew.) —which is why we teach others about the magic of friendship. (They too are raised up.) Others who will continue our mission after we are gone.
(The last two groups float up to her and the Pillars—those who protected Equestria in past times, who have the job now, and who stand to take up the mantle in the future.)
Twilight: Now I truly understand. The Elements were just symbols. The real magic has always been right here. (Cut to some of the unicorns; she continues o.s.) And the more who understand how powerful friendship is— (To Celestia/Luna/Discord and several of the non-pony leaders.) —the stronger we will all be.
(Close-up of her, eyes glowing pure white.)
Twilight: Together!
(A broad rainbow shoots into the sky from each of the three hexads, converging on the Princess. She raises her head and fires a blisteringly intense white beam into the black clouds; rainbows spiral their way up its length toward the windigos, and the whole thing detonates in a multicolored shock wave to obliterate them and blast through the overcast gloom. The beam becomes a solid doubled rainbow shooting high into the clear blue sky beyond, to the utter disbelief of Chrysalis, Cozy, and Tirek.)
Cozy: This is bad, isn’t it?
(And now, as a single spectrum, that rainbow does the mother of all U-turns and bears down on their position. Their figures are initially lost under the glare when it connects, the ground shaking as if the entire planet might tear itself apart to dirt clods at any second. When their silhouettes do finally become visible through the polychromatic haymaker, their added features rapidly shrink away; the bell’s glowing inscriptions and clapper go out as well, and it clanks dully to the grass.)
(It takes nearly eight full seconds for all the rainbows to shrink away and extinguish themselves, leaving the sky clear and blue. Cozy is first to hit the ground, uttering a pained grunt as she feels for the horn that is no longer there. Tirek stands up, shivering and horrified at the sight of a physique as spindly as when he escaped from Tartarus five seasons earlier. Finally Chrysalis gets to her hooves, tongue lolling out, and boggles as all nineteen heroes settle to the meadow, the glow fading from them and from Twilight’s eyes. Cozy and Tirek back away, scared out of their wits, but Chrysalis voices a soft, furious growl through clenched teeth.)
Chrysalis: You think friendship will save you? We will always return! Nothing will ever stop—
(This is as far as she gets before the biggest cupcake in the history of Equestria—or probably any other civilization, for that matter—drops out of the sky and lands squarely on the trio. Including the frosting, it measures at least five times her height in every direction. This in itself is weird enough for Twilight, but the brown rain that immediately begins to fall really dumps a bucket of sand into her mental gears. Spike catches a few drops on his palm and licks; cut to a longer shot, framing him and all the mares save Pinkie.)
Spike: Chocolate rain?
(Pan from them to a hovering Celestia and Luna, who touch down as Starlight and then Discord teleport in, the latter free of his binding chains at last. Finding himself on the receiving end of their quizzical stares, the anatomical grab bag throws his lion paw and taloned forelimb up in a gesture of innocence.)
Discord: Don’t look at me!
(The missing pink pony rises slowly into view behind Twilight and Spike, holding the now-reactivated bell and wearing a huge, slightly disturbing smile under fixed blue eyes. Energy snaps and spits over every last fiber of her quivering form.)
Twilight: Pinkie! You took Discord’s magic from the bell? How do you feel?
Pinkie: Hmm! (twitching an ear) Tingly, itchy, also like…
(Before any of the others can react, she has grown so large that the cupcake she conjured up might serve as a midnight snack for her. The curly mane now juts crazily in every conceivable direction, and the tail has fluffed up out of all measure. Behind her, the landscape takes on a decidedly surreal violet tint and balloons, sweets, confetti, and streamers drift past as the rain ceases.)
Pinkie: (deep voice, echoing weirdly) …I COULD TRANSFORM THE COSMOS SO EVERYTHING IS MADE OF ICING!!
(She finishes by standing on her hind legs and letting her irises/pupils turn into cupcakes.)
Discord: Perhaps maybe I should…
(He finishes the thought by flying up, plucking the bell from her grip, and ringing it at her. In much less time than it takes to say “that ain’t funny, man,” the magic has flowed from her to it in a black/yellow torrent, she has returned to her normal size, and the environment is its usual peaceful self again. Pinkie drops like a rock and is caught by Twilight, but her eyes are filled with hypnotic spirals.)
Pinkie: (woozily) Waiter, there’s some chaos in my soup.
(She passes out; now Discord rings the bell at himself and smiles broadly upon being able to snap a crazed, chomping pineapple into existence—one of Cozy’s mistakes when she tried to commandeer his magic in Part One. By the time he poofs down to Celestia, Luna and Starlight, the fruit is gone; he rings the bell in the winged unicorns’ faces, bringing their manes/tails back to life and allowing them to reignite their horns. Only now do the not-so-big three manage to dig themselves partway out from under the colossal cupcake, the camera set to frame them at ground level. One gold-shod white hoof slams to the grass just in front of them; on the next line, cut to two royal sisters who have absolutely had all they can stand of this nonsense.)
Celestia: There isn’t a punishment worthy of all you’ve done!
(Two Discords lean into view from opposite sides, each whispering into a different princess’s ear; and devilish smiles come over the white and blue-violet faces as a result.)
Luna: Oh! That does seem fitting.
Luna’s Discord: May I help? (All four red eyes go big and shiny.)
Celestia’s Discord: (beseechingly) Please?
(All three gather their power, Discord back to just one of himself; horns blaze, paw and talons crackle, and the magics thunder toward the hapless, half-embedded hooligans. The cupcake is blown apart on impact and all three are dragged upright—standing for Chrysalis and Tirek, hovering for Cozy—with energy crackling up and down every inch of their bodies and slowly petrifying them. Faces twist in sudden, horrified realization as the features become set in stone, Chrysalis trying to throw herself into one last screeching lunge before she can move no more. Cut to a close-up of one splotch of cupcake icing on the ground; the edge of a pedestal’s base slams down here, and the camera zooms out quickly to frame the new statue it supports—the three in their final poses. Celestia, Luna and Discord approach slowly.)
Discord: Together forever. I can’t think of anything that they would want less.
(He delivers a mocking little flick to the tip of Chrysalis’s horn, and cheers erupt from mountainside and plain alike. Pinkie is awake, and her eyes have returned to normal.)
Celestia: (turning to Twilight) When I sent you to Ponyville, I had high hopes. When you became Princess of Friendship, I knew I’d made the right choice. (pulling her gently in with a wing) But nothing could prepare me for how proud I am right now. (backing away) Equestria is definitely in the right hooves. (She stands with Luna and Discord.) You are ready.
(They bow to the one-time faithful student as a show of deepest respect—even Discord, whose obeisance catches her just a little off guard.)
Twilight: You know what? I think I am. (The others gather around her.)
Applejack: Thank goodness! Uh, first question, Your Highness— (gesturing toward mountaintop) —what do we do with all these creatures?
Pinkie: We’re gonna need a lot more chairs for the coronation. (Twilight glances that way.)
Twilight: Actually, as ruler of Equestria, I’d like to postpone the coronation for a while—at least until the castle’s rebuilt. Besides, there’s something we need to do first.
(Dissolve to a close-up of a plate piled high with donuts on a table inside a restaurant. Rarity is seated here, visible from chin to chest with one of them on her plate, and the camera tilts up to frame all of her as she levitates it toward her mouth.)
Rarity: The…post-apocalyptic donuts!
(Longer shot: the magnificent seven are all sitting around a table in the shop run by Pony Joe, or Donut Joe. He runs a field-held cloth over the glass of his display case as they chow down, Pinkie with a stack of sinkers on her plate as tall as she is.)
Rarity: Interesting choice.
Twilight: I know. (Close-up of her, Applejack, and Spike.) But there’s gonna be plenty of time for all the challenges and struggles and adventures to come. (hovering her donut up) For now, I just want to spend a quiet moment with the six best friends I’ve ever had. (She takes a bite.)
Applejack: (glancing away knowingly) Well, mostly quiet.
(Cut to frame her watching Pinkie gobble down every donut in that belly-busting tower except the last one, which gets snagged by a blue feather.)
Fluttershy: It’s like the end of an era.
Rainbow: Or the beginning of an even more awesome era! (One gulp dispatches the purloined treat; cut to Twilight and zoom out slowly.)
Twilight: All I know is, whatever comes next is going to be perfect.
Spike: How do you know that?
Twilight: (chuckling softly) With you guys by my side, how could it not?
(Laughs all around the table as the view fades to black.)
CHANGES BETWEEN iTUNES VERSION AND DISCOVERY FAMILY PREMIERE
Prologue Deleted
Opening theme Deleted
Closing credits Deleted
THE LAST PROBLEM
Written by Josh Haber
Produced by Devon Cody
Story editing by Josh Haber
Supervising direction by Jim Miller
Directed by Denny Lu, Mike Myhre
Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)
Note: See note at start of “The Ending of the End—Part One.”
Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of Canterlot during the day and zoom in slowly. Not only has the castle been completely rebuilt after its near-total destruction in “The Ending of the End,” but the city has expanded considerably—both up the mountain and into the surrounding foothills and plains. The general impression is that a significant amount of time has passed since that world-shaking throwdown. Creatures of various and sundry species are amusing themselves in the meadows and flying toward the city proper, and a particularly large dragon wings past the camera in extreme close-up. Behind the broad form, the view wipes to a pan through an equally busy stretch of lawn within Canterlot, then cuts to a square in which a statue of Twilight Sparkle and her friends has been constructed. One mare takes a picture of her own buddies standing in front of it as another one leads a group of youngsters on a field trip.)
(Cut to within the throne room, the camera aimed at the closed doors. The walls have been repainted a soothing sky-blue, with white cloud edging along the lower portions. One door opens to admit Spike—now grown to at least half again the height of the average pony, broad of chest and shoulders, prominent jaw, and wearing the medal Twilight gave him in “The Ending of the End” to mark him as her Royal Advisor. As he enters, he speaks in a deeper tone than in his younger days.)
Spike: I got here as soon as I could— (showing off medal) —but Friendship Ambassador is a full-time job these days. Making peace between Abyssinians and the Diamond Dogs has not been easy.
(Two ponies stand at the base of the dais. One is a unicorn stallion in a short, dark red robe with gold collar edging, while the face of the other is momentarily obscured by a scroll levitated in front of its face. The light violet coloration, wings and horn, and dark blue, pink/purple-streaked tail give it away as Twilight, but one grown to proportions very similar to Princess Celestia. Her mane/tail nearly reach the floor, sparkling and waving gently in an unseen wind. She wears gold shoes on all four hooves, and the rest of her regalia proves a match for them when she lowers the scroll: a broad necklace on which the central six-pointed stars from her cutie mark stand out in relief, and a tiara set with a pink, six-pointed star jewel. Zoom in slowly.)
Twilight: That’s why I picked you for the job.
(The stallion’s field takes the scroll from hers, and he bows and departs with it.)
Twilight: (crossing to Spike) But I’m glad you could come.
(Following a brief embrace, they fly to the dais—set with not only her throne, but a lower-backed chair to its side.)
Spike: So, what’s the emergency? (They sit.)
Twilight: Ever since I took over Celestia’s School, my focus has been on teaching magic. But now it seems my top student has missed the most important lesson of all.
Spike: What do you mean?
Twilight: Let’s just say it’ll be good to have my Royal Advisor and Friendship Ambassador by my side.
Gallus: (from o.s.) Your Majesty…
(His voice, too, sounds deeper than usual; cut to a long shot of him at the far end and outfitted in gold armor—he has reached adulthood and is serving in the Royal Guard. He stands at one open door, the other still closed.)
Gallus: …she’s here.
Twilight: Send her in, Gallus.
(The griffon bows and swings the other door wide to expose a rather nervous unicorn mare. Bright pink coat; golden brown eyes; slightly unkempt, two-tone blond mane/tail shading to lighter hues at the ends, with part of the former tied back in a loose ponytail; cutie mark of a sun rising over water. This is Luster Dawn, who trots up to stop a few feet short of the dais. Now the wall behind the throne can be seen in full since the reconstruction, having been painted a light blue-green. The stained-glass framings for the two doorways leading to the balcony have been replaced with new ones—a pastel rainbow on one side, a night sky marked by suns, moons, and an eight-pointed pink star on the other. The large window above them presents these same three symbols amid an expanse of evening clouds. Luster’s voice is that of a serious-minded young scholar, not too different from Twilight when she left Canterlot for Ponyille two hundred and twenty episodes earlier.)
Luster: (bowing) Your Majesty.
Twilight: Luster, I may be the ruler of Equestria, but I’m still just your teacher.
Luster: And you’ve been wonderful. I’ve enjoyed every moment at the School of Magic. But…I-I’m just not sure it’s the right place for me.
Twilight: I see.
Luster: And it’s not the work. (laughing a bit) I could spend weeks in the library doing research. I-I-It’s just that…there’s a lot of focus on making friends. (Spike stands up.)
Spike: If that’s your problem, you’ve come to the right place.
Luster: But that’s just it. I don’t want to make friends.
Spike: (wings flaring) What?!?
(At a brief, sharp glance from Twilight, he clears his throat and settles down, but still aims a funny look in the student’s direction.)
Twilight: So you’d rather leave the School of Magic than make friends?
Luster: I was hoping to set up an independent course of study. I want to accomplish as much as you have someday.
Spike: It’ll be hard to do that without friends.
Luster: I’m not so sure. Friendship looks like more of a distraction than anything else— (chuckling dismissively) —and ultimately a waste of time.
Spike: (hands to temples) What?!?
Luster: I know you and your friends accomplished a lot together, but that was sooo long ago, and as far as I can see, you rule by yourself now.
Spike: (irked, showing medal) Uh, hello? Royal Advisor right here!
Luster: (hastily) A-And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. In fact, I think it’s better. Plus, if friendships ultimately fade, why even make them in the first place?
(Twilight ponders this carefully for a long moment in close-up.)
Twilight: You know what, Luster Dawn? (smiling) You’re right. (Zoom out to frame the gobsmacked dragon, again clutching his temples.)
Spike: WHAAAT?!?
(He crumples to his knees, utterly unable to process these last two words. Fade to black.)
OPENING THEME
Note: For the remainder of this transcript, the headings “NOW” and “THEN,” centered
in bold, will be used to indicate the time frame. “NOW” corresponds to the same
time as the prologue, with familiar characters appropriately aged: foals will be
fully grown, and adults will show wrinkles and age lines. “THEN” corresponds
to the time frame of the rest of the series, some years before the prologue. Details
on appearance changes between the two time frames will be added as necessary.
Act One
NOW
(Opening shot: fade in to the throne room, seen from one side, and zoom in slowly on the three.)
Spike: Friendship is more trouble than it’s worth? (whispering, to Twilight) This is your top student?
(The violet sovereign flaps gently down to land in front of Luster.)
Twilight: Friendships take work, and there’s no guarantee they’ll last.
(She exits the room, Luster following, and the two proceed down a corridor lined with stained-glass windows that commemorate the heroic actions of those she has known—including a full-grown, crowned Flurry Heart.)
Twilight: They can be complicated. They can be messy. (Spike catches up.) And they never go the way you plan. Friendship is a hard thing to navigate. (They stop at a window that captures her younger self.) I remember the first time I realized it might not last forever.
(Wavering dissolve to…)
THEN
(…an extreme close-up of a checklist held in Spike’s clawed grip. He marks off a box as his boss’s frantic panting makes itself heard; cut to her galloping madly back and forth within a corridor of the Castle of Friendship. Boxes and loose items are piled up willy-nilly, and the number-one assistant sits calmly on one stack.)
Spike: Twilight? Uh, I’m pretty sure that’s everything.
Twilight: I’m just doing a final check, Spike!
Spike: But we did a final check, of every room. Twice.
(She peeks out from around one doorframe, a big shiny-eyed grin on her face and a comic book in her aura.)
Twilight: Aha! (She trots out and shoves it into his face; he drops his gear.) See? An issue of Power Ponies! Now aren’t you glad we triple-checked?
Spike: (taking it) Thanks, but I already read this one. I don’t need to take it to Canterlot.
Twilight: (shaking head) No, no, no. You love Power Ponies. (magically yanking it back) We’re taking it.
(By the time he can sort out this bit of oddness, she has raced into the library, the contents of whose shelves have been fully boxed up. A very nervous Spike steps in through the doors.)
Spike: Really, Twilight. We don’t have to bring the comic. (flying to her) I’m not even sure how much longer I’ll collect ’em. (She fretfully shifts the issue from one box to another.) A lot is changing, and I am getting older.
(He touches down with a smile, satisfied that he has made his point, but she is far from being at ease.)
Twilight: Just because things change doesn’t mean you leave everything you love behind!
(Voicing a crushed moan, she flops face-first onto the nearest box.)
Spike: (stroking her mane) You’re not still worried about ruling Equestria, are you? (She raises her head a notch.)
Twilight: No. I know it took some time, but I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life. (Stand.) Just because I’m ready to sit on the throne in Canterlot doesn’t mean I’m ready to leave Ponyville.
(She floats up a newspaper, the camera shifting to a close-up that picks it out as an issue of the Foal Free Press—the newspaper put out by the students at the Ponyville schoolhouse. As she continues, the pages flip to show photos of the battle against Chrysalis, Cozy Glow, and Lord Tirek and their petrified final state, among others. The front page even shows birds using the statue as a place to rest their wings.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) When we were all fighting to save Equestria from Tirek, Chrysalis, and Cozy Glow, I was too busy to think about it. But now it’s all happening at once!
Spike: (from o.s., gripping a page) What is? (Both again.)
Twilight: (voice trembling) The coronation, moving, leaving our friends…
Spike: I thought we’d all be ruling Equestria together.
Twilight: (closing paper, setting it down) Of course we will, but it won’t be the same. (pacing, sitting on haunches) They all have lives here. We’re moving away and they’re not, and I can’t help but feel like we’re leaving them behind. What if we all just drift apart?
Spike: I guess I hadn’t thought about it like that. (smiling) Maybe you should talk to them. I bet they’re feeling the same way.
Twilight: (smiling, standing) You’re right, Spike. Thanks. (crossing floor, rubbing his head) Sometimes talking to a good friend is all it takes.
(Furred and scaly cheeks meet in a cheerful nuzzle. Dissolve to a close-up of a crate filled with glass jugs; Applejack’s hoof reaches into view to set a lid in place and apply a rubber stamp of a dripping apple within a circle—a beverage shipment. Pan to a second crate loaded with apples, which gets closed and stamped with an image of a circled apple. Another pan frames a crate full of jars, which gets lidded and receives a stamp of a circle enclosing an apple above two wavy lines—applesauce or jam, evidently. From here, cut to a slow tilt down the length of a checklist on a clipboard held by Applejack, several lines marked off one way or another; she apples her stamp to an empty box, then lowers the sheet. All of this packing has been taking place in the barnyard at Sweet Apple Acres during the day, and Big Macintosh is pushing a crate toward a half-loaded cart with his head. Twilight leans into view, with Spike riding on her back.)
Twilight: (to the o.s. Applejack) So you’re not worried about how things might change with me living in Canterlot? (Cut to the blond mare, gesturing with an apple.)
Applejack: Of course not! Change is natural, like the seasons. That’s just life on the farm.
Twilight: (deflated) I guess so.
Applejack: Anyhoo, I really need to get all these boxes packed and sorted. There’s a lot more work now that the folks beyond Equestria are comin’ to the coronation too.
(Her casual demeanor fails to put Twilight at ease. Wipe to Pinkie Pie’s party-planning cave beneath Sugarcube Corner; she sits on the floor, facing a standing Twilight and a hovering Spike.)
Pinkie: Worried? Pfft! No way! Unless you’re talking about the coronation, because then, yes. Obviously the cakes are handled, but there’s the whole rest of the party to stay on top of.
(She does the following during this line. Stand up; dart over to a bin full of wrapping paper and pull out one roll; open a filing cabinet and extract a folder; kick the drawer shut and zip away; inspect a party hat; climb up, open another drawer in the cabinet, and stuff in several wayward balloons. Finally she slams this shut, hops down, and whisks back over to Twilight.)
Pinkie: (hushed) But honestly, I’m not convinced Gummy really took care of the fireworks.
(Pan quickly to the baby alligator in question, who has a lit sparkler clamped in his toothless jaws and offers an out-of-sync blink, then cut back to the action. Pinkie continues to dart here and there, rooting around for supplies, as Twilight speaks.)
Twilight: But what about after the coronation? Don’t you think things are gonna be…different?
Pinkie: Well, since I’ll be in charge of all the Canterlot galas from now on, I’ll have to go there a lot more. So I guess that’s different, but I don’t think I mind.
(Zoom in slowly on the less-than-reassured Twilight as she continues rummaging.)
Twilight: No. Of course not.
(Wipe to a close-up of her on the grounds of Sweet Feather Sanctuary. Birds and butterflies fly around her head in a choreographed formation, eliciting a smile of wonder, and two swans descend gently with a makeshift tiara of leaves and twigs held in their beaks. This is carefully set on her head; from here; cut to Fluttershy sitting on her haunches and clapping as the critters gather in.)
Fluttershy: Wonderful work, everyone! We couldn’t be more ready. (She stands and addresses one of several doves.) Josephine, if you and the rest of the doves leave now, we should all arrive in Canterlot at the same time. (They fly off; she turns to the swans.) Eloise and Hubert, you should go too. (One nods.) I know it’s a long way, but don’t worry. I’ll bring plenty of snacks to restore your energy before we perform.
(These two also take wing; now she approaches several hummingbirds and butterflies hovering near an open cage and a glass-walled terrarium.)
Fluttershy: (opening the latter lid) Everyone else gets to ride, since the trip’s too much for your little wings. We need everyone in tip-top shape for the coronation.
(By the time she finishes, the birds are in the cage, the butterflies in the box, and Spike is hovering by Twilight’s side. Securing both enclosures, Fluttershy crosses to the pair.)
Fluttershy: I’m glad we got the chance for one last rehearsal. Everyone’s so excited, but I can’t imagine anypony’s more excited than you! (Gasp.) Moving to Canterlot, being crowned—I can’t think of a single bad thing about any of it!
Twilight: (forcing a chuckle) Yeah, me neither.
(Fluttershy fails to pick up on her case of nerves, but Spike gets the message loud and clear. Wipe to a long overhead shot of the Wonderbolts’ compound and zoom in slowly on the central runway plateau. Several squad members stand at one end, a few others are in the grass to one side, and Rainbow Dash stands at the center of the tarmac near Twilight and Spike. All the pegasi are in their flight suits.)
Rainbow: In three, two, one…
(Close-up of the Ponyville trio; she has put down the hood of her suit and foregone the goggles in favor of a cap and whistle hanging around her neck, and Twilight has shed her prop tiara.)
Rainbow: (checking/pocketing a stopwatch) …aaaaand…
(Two Wonderbolts buzz past and through them, barely clearing the runway before pulling up, and two trios zoom overhead to leave smoke trails in the colors of Twilight’s mane/tail. Next they approach each other in pairs, clap their front hooves together, and backflip away; the first two pairs get it right, but the third—Spitfire and Soarin’—instead clunk their heads together and drop out of the sky. Rainbow whooshes away and swiftly tows back a cloud in her teeth, which she positions to catch them.)
Spitfire: (raising goggles) Look, Rainbow Dash. (hovering out, landing) I know this is important to you and we all want the routine to be special, but are you sure it needs to be this complicated?
Rainbow: Of course! And I know we can pull it off. (over her shoulder) Uh, sorry, Twilight. (turning to her) I don’t have time to talk. We’ve got a lot more work to do before the coronation.
(Twilight heaves a deep sigh and lets her head droop almost all the way to the pavement. Wipe to Rarity’s upper-story workspace and living quarters in the Carousel Boutique. She has a measuring tape around her shoulders and is using her aura to add a waist sash to a sweeping gown on one of her pony-shaped mannequins. It is short-sleeved, in varied shades of light/medium blue with a layered train and small copies of Twilight’s cutie mark around the hem, and pale blue shoes. Twilight and Spike watch the work in progress.)
Rarity: Darling, change is an integral part of fashion. (taking measurements) I myself am considering opening boutiques for non-ponies. Things must evolve, or they become stale. For example…
(Neither she nor Twilight sees the little guy take notice of a bucket brimming with gems, fly over to it, and help himself to a little snack under these words. Her next move is to cross the room and magically whisk away a sheet covering something on a low stand with an ear-to-ear grin; this proves to be a terrarium containing two large spiders with stars on their backs and two very small sewing machines. Cut to within, the camera aimed at her as the arachnids work the rigs and Twilight moves for a better look.)
Rarity: …I was just struck with a sudden inspiration to change my design for your gown by including the webs of these star spiders.
(Outside again; she floats up one strand as Spike strolls up, munching on a gem.)
Rarity: They glow for a short while after they’re spun. They won’t have much time to weave the sash, but the effect will be dazzling! (Cut to a downcast Twilight; she continues o.s., moving the strand around her and Spike.) You see, darling? Change can be fabulous if you embrace it.
(Back to her on the end of this, now so lost in the creative process that the departure of Princess and dragon does not faze her one iota. Dissolve to the library within the Castle of Friendship, now completely cleaned out; Twilight sits in the middle of the floor, silently contemplating the shelves that are as bare as the day she moved into the place. A widening shaft of light falls onto her, cast by an o.s. set of opening doors, and Spike walks into view and stops.)
Spike: Starlight is supposed to come over soon. There’s a little something we wanted to give you before we leave.
(Long pause. Cut to a close-up of the Power Ponies comic Twilight found, lying on the floor at her hooves.)
Spike: (walking into view, picking it up) You know what? I think you’re right, Twilight. I should take my comics to Canterlot. We can’t leave the Power Ponies behind.
Twilight: I don’t think the Power Ponies care, Spike, just like all of our friends. (Applejack’s shadow extends toward them.)
Applejack: (from o.s.) All right, Twilight. Are you ready?
(Cut to her at the doorway, the other four mares popping up around her. Rainbow is out of her flight suit, cap, and whistle, and Rarity has shed her measuring tape and lit her horn.)
Applejack: We all wanted to see you off— (Rarity levitates the star spiders’ terrarium into view; Fluttershy carries her hummingbirds’ cage.) —but there’s still a lot to do.
Spike: Aren’t you coming on the train?
Applejack: I-I gotta go with Big Mac so we can go over our packin’ list, or we won’t know who gets what deliveries.
Rainbow: And I’m gonna meet the Wonderbolts so we can go over the routine one last time.
Pinkie: I’m going with Gummy. He said he knows when the fireworks display should start— (frantically) —but does anypony really believe that?!?
Fluttershy: And I still need to pick up food for the swans and doves who flew ahead to Canterlot. If I don’t get them fed, they’ll be too pooped to perform. (All enter the library.)
Twilight: (standing, with slight bitterness) Well, I’ll be living in Canterlot alone. (walking past them) Might as well take the train alone, too. (Pause.) Bye, I guess. (Rarity hustles to intercept.)
Rarity: Oh, you won’t be traveling alone, darling. I’ll have just enough time on the train to weave the star spider sash for your gown. (pushing her out) But we should leave now. (The other mares follow.) There’s no time to dawdle if you want the coronation to be perfect.
(The brain under the straight dark mane decides that it has finally had enough and orders the legs to stop; the remaining five do likewise to avoid running into her.)
Twilight: That’s the problem! (She rounds on them.) You’re all so worried about making my coronation perfect— (tearing up) —that I’m leaving Ponyville and none of you even care!
(A quintuple unison gasp of unadulterated disbelief, followed by a snap to black.)
Act Two
NOW
(Opening shot: fade in to Twilight, Luster, and Spike in the Canterlot Castle throne room. Twilight paces toward the dais, followed by her student.)
Luster: Exactly! You moved away, your friends didn’t care, and that was that.
Twilight: (smiling, sitting on throne) Actually, not exactly.
(Wavering dissolve to…)
THEN
(…the confrontation outside the library in the Castle of Friendship. Spike has now joined Twilight’s friends and is still carrying his comic book.)
Applejack: Of course we care that you’re movin’, Twilight. (Close-up of Fluttershy.)
Fluttershy: I can’t believe you’d think we don’t. (Zoom out to frame Pinkie on the next line.)
Pinkie: What could possibly make you think that?
Twilight: (angrily) I tried to talk to you all about how I was feeling, but you seemed more worried about what you had to do for the coronation!
Spike: It’s true. I was there.
Rarity: I suppose it gave us something else to focus on.
Applejack: I knew you were worried about everything changin’. I-I guess I thought if I made it seem like everything was okay, i-it would be.
Fluttershy: I was just trying to make you feel better. (head drooping) That way, I wouldn’t feel so terrible.
Twilight: Before I moved to Ponyville, I didn’t really know what friendship was. You’ve all taught me so much. (fresh tears pooling in eyes) I-I can’t believe it all might be ending!
(She drops to her haunches and promptly finds herself on the receiving end of a consoling pat by Rarity as the others gather in.)
Twilight: But when I imagine the future, all I can think about is that we won’t be together! I’m literally moving away from you and it’s terrifying!
Fluttershy: I’m scared too.
Pinkie: Me too.
Rarity: (hoof to forehead) Rattled to the core. (She and Pinkie tear up.)
Applejack: Ee-yup. (Ditto, with a nibble on the lower lip.)
Rainbow: I wouldn’t say “scared.”
(The other twelve eyes, both watering and dry, fix themselves on her.)
Rainbow: Buuuuut just because I won’t say it, doesn’t mean I don’t feel it.
Pinkie: (sobbing) I’m gonna miss you so much! (She huddles on the floor; Twilight offers her a hoof to hold.)
Rarity: (floating up a handkerchief to dab her eyes) I just can’t stop thinking about how much things are going to change.
Rainbow: (scrubbing at her own wet eyes) Wh-What if we don’t see each other?
Fluttershy: (crying) What if we don’t talk as much?
Applejack: What if we don’t stay friends?
(Twilight and Spike can only watch helplessly as these five dissolve into full-throated wailing. Cut to a close-up of the violet mare, who manages to smile through her tears.)
Twilight: I know it’s weird— (They stand up; she wipes her eyes.) —but knowing you’re all as upset as I am actually makes me less worried. (Group hug.)
Spike: (from o.s.) That’s nice— (Cut to him.) —but you should be more worried about missing the train to Canterlot!
(On the end of this, he pulls out a pocket watch and the camera zooms in quickly to a close-up. Cut to just outside the front doors, which burst open in Twilight’s magic so all seven can gallop/fly out, then to Starlight Glimmer on her way up the path toward the entrance. Spike has stashed the timepiece, and a flat, wrapped gift box hovers under Starlight’s control.)
Starlight: Sorry I’m so late. Actually thought I’d missed y— (Cut to all eight on the next line.)
Spike: THERE’S NO TIME!!
(The departing travelers barrel past Starlight quickly enough to leave her spinning in place; she crashes dizzily onto her back, the present landing on the grass by the path. Wipe to the Ponyville train station as all seven scramble onto the platform and a whistle sounds off, then to the train itself—pulling away to begin its run.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) Oh, no, we missed it!
(The platform again; all deflate visibly and Rarity sets her terrarium down, but Twilight gets an idea.)
Twilight: But maybe…
(She fires up her horn and teleports the whole lot of them away to materialize in the aisle of one crowded car.)
Twilight: Okay. We’re on the train. Everything should be fine, right?
(The discomfited looks on her friends’ faces suggest that it is not. Rarity hops onto an empty seat, floating up the terrarium and a folded length of pale blue fabric. This latter is pinned with a brooch that consists of the two central stars from Twilight’s cutie mark within an eight-pointed gold one.)
Rarity: I’d worked out exactly how much time I needed to weave my star spider sash, and now I’m behind! (Applejack and Spike claim a spot.)
Applejack: I hope Big Mac can figure out who gets what deliveries on his own.
(Pan quickly to the great red stallion, pushing a crate across the Canterlot Castle courtyard toward a highly critical Horte Cuisine. Two others have been stacked up to one side.)
Horte: I assume these contain the finest sparkling apple juice?
(The mark stamped on the lid has been smudged somewhat, but is still recognizable as the one for liquid products. Macintosh checks a clipboard and smiles broadly.)
Macintosh: Ee-yup.
(Wipe to a bakery going great guns, with a toque-wearing Rumble among the staff. Here comes Macintosh, pushing a crate in through the open doorway. A baker stallion turns to him.)
Baker: Ah, the Sweet Apple Acres applesauce for my coronation parfait! (He crosses to it.) This is the applesauce?
(The mark on this crate looks almost exactly like the one delivered to Horte, smudges and all. Macintosh checks his list with noticeable trepidation.)
Macintosh: Uh…ee-yup.
(Capped by a very shaky grin. Pan quickly back to the train car.)
Fluttershy: (gasping) I don’t have the snacks the doves and swans will need to perform after their long flight! I’d better find the food car!
(She shoves the cage of hummingbirds into Rarity’s hooves and gets moving. The unicorn sets it down next to the terrarium, whose occupants hiss at the tiny flyers and send them fleeing to the back wall. Rainbow opens a window.)
Rainbow: And I need to meet the Wonderbolts!
(She is gone in a multicolored blaze. Wipe to a long overhead shot of the team facilities as she rockets into view, the plateau now empty except for a lone figure on the runway. A close-up frames it as an earth pony stallion on janitor duty; on the next line, zoom out to show Rainbow hovering nearby.)
Rainbow: Where’s the coronation team?
Janitor: (stammering) Th-They waited, but when you didn’t show, they thought you musta meant to meet outside of Canterlot.
(The blue flyer claps both hooves to her face and pulls them down to stretch her cheeks, uttering a barely audible growl of supreme exasperation. Pan quickly to a spot just outside one window of the train car, Twilight gazing happily out as Pinkie ponders.)
Pinkie: The only thing I’m worried about is Gummy handling the fireworks display. (shakily) But I’m sure it’s fine. (Weak giggle.)
Twilight: Well, it could always be worse.
(Cut to inside the car, which decelerates rapidly to a stop in a horrid screech of brakes. Spike is thrown from his seat, losing hold of his comic book, and friends and strangers alike send vexed glares in the winged unicorn’s direction for her ignorance of the calamity those words always seem to bring. The camera cuts to a head-on view of the train and the reason for the unscheduled stop—a herd of sheep grazing on and around the tracks.)
(Wipe to a long shot of the Canterlot Castle courtyard at sunset. The prep work for the main event is now complete, and a few winged attendees start to gravitate toward the guests’ tables. Inside, Celestia and Princess Luna regard the panorama from just inside a doorway leading to a balcony as the sound of an opening door is heard; a winded, badly disheveled Twilight bursts into view.)
Luna: (crossing to her) Goodness, Twilight! Are you all right?
Twilight: My friends and I had a few hiccups on the way, but everything’s fine now.
(Behind her, a sheep wanders past in an adjoining corridor.)
Celestia: We really are both just so proud of you. If you need a moment, that’s all right. It is your coronation.
(A trumpet fanfare rings out; cut to a close-up of the doorway and zoom out to the sound of cheers drifting up from ground level. The camera movement brings the sisters into view on the start of the next line.)
Luna: (slightly worried) Although it would be nice to get started. Are you ready?
Rarity: (from o.s.) No!
(She races in, her aura carrying the gown and shoes she was working on in Act One along with the terrarium. The pale blue cloth she brought out on the train is pinned between the lid and the top edges of the walls and is now glowing faintly—the sash woven from the star spiders’ silk.)
Rarity: She can’t possibly be crowned without her coronation gown!
Celestia: Very well.
(She and Luna turn toward the balcony. Out in the courtyard, the crowd has thickened considerably; she cannot be seen from this distance.)
Celestia: (from castle) Citizens of Equestria and beyond!
(Cheers and stomps and fire-breathing greet these words; in close-up, the outgoing royals have emerged onto the balcony.)
Celestia: My sister and I have ruled this land for quite some time, but even we know that change eventually comes to us all.
(Cut/pan through the gathering area, filled with dozens of familiar faces, on the second half of this line.)
Celestia: (from o.s.) And though we know it can be unsettling, it’s as natural as the rising and setting of the sun and the moon—
(As she continues, cut to Twilight and Rarity. The incoming ruler is now in her gown and shoes, her mane neatly brushed and held back by a pale blue band, and she mutters to herself as the couturier’s magic makes a few last tweaks and gives her a 360-degree spin.)
Celestia: (from o.s.) —both of which my sister and I feel confident leaving in the hooves of the pony who will come after us.
Rarity: (over end of previous) You look amazing. (A thought occurs.) Ooh! I almost forgot!
(Now she levitates up the sash and loops it across Twilight’s chest, securing it with the stars-within-star brooch seen during the train ride. However, it also takes along both star spiders, unnoticed by all present.)
Celestia: (from outside) And so, without further ado— (Twilight walks toward the balcony.) —I give you the new ruler of Equestria…
(Rarity shuts the terrarium; cut to the sisters.)
Celestia: …Princess Twilight Sparkle!
(Who manages to step on the free end of her sash and tumble forward with a most undignified yell, landing on her back. Celestia’s soft gasp of shock is mirrored at rather higher volume by the audience, but Twilight is soon up on her hooves and flexing her corona to adjust the brooch.)
Twilight: (sheepishly) Sorry.
(Her dopey grin melts into a warm smile as Celestia and Luna kindle their horns. Their tiaras drift clear of their heads and toward each other, combining in a brilliant flash to form the one worn by Twilight’s older, taller self.)
Crowd: (from o.s., awed) Ooooh…
(One of the star spiders emerges from the loops of the sash and scuttles onto a violet wing, causing Luna some consternation.)
Luna: Um, Twilight?
(By the time the butterflies and hummingbirds from Fluttershy’s routine have swooped in for their part, both of the silk-spinners have worked their way out. A hissing swipe at one of the fine feathered friends prompts a lively argument. Zoom out to frame the yellow pegasus watching fearfully from a higher balcony to one side.)
Fluttershy: Oh, dear.
(She turns to the doves and swans, all of whom look plenty cranky.)
Fluttershy: I know these aren’t the snacks I promised— (Close-up of a single carrot lying on the stones; she continues o.s.) —but it’s all I could find.
(Zoom out to frame all the birds eyeing it and each other with clear hostility, then cut to Spitfire on a hilltop well away from the grounds. Sitting on her haunches and with her goggles up, she lowers the binoculars she has been using to scope out the area.)
Spitfire: Well, Dash or no Dash, Twilight’s about to get that crown.
(Setting them on the grass, she stands up; five other Wonderbolts are lined up behind her.)
Spitfire: (socking goggles in place) Wonderbolts, roll out!
(The six speedsters zoom away an instant before Rainbow flies up to the hill.)
Rainbow: No, wait!
(She blazes off after them. On the balcony, the skirmish between the birds and star spiders ends with Eloise and Hubert, the two swans, sullenly grabbing the new tiara in their beaks and lowering it toward Twilight’s head. At almost the same time, the Wonderbolts arc in and hover, spreading their smoke trails in her mane/tail colors, and fireworks begin to launch and burst in all directions. They have been ignited by Gummy, who stands among them on a hill with a piece of slow-burning fuse in his jaws, and a few of the explosions are far too close for the stunt flyers’ comfort. One dives for cover past the balcony, startling the swans into dropping the tiara; Twilight hurls herself forward over the railing to catch it and plummets out of view, drawing a collective gasp of horror from the crowd. After a long, unbearable beat of silence, the new ruler flies back up with the tiara sitting on her noggin at a decidedly un-Princess-like angle. Cut to Applejack, Pinkie, and Spike at one table, empty glasses at the ready.)
Applejack: (raising hers) To Twilight!
(Only now do all three realize that they have no beverages; Horte, off to one side, angrily motions for three unicorn waiters to get on the job. They levitate full pitchers and start to circulate through the crowd; when Applejack gets her glass filled, she is more than a little dismayed to find it full of thick gunk instead of easily flowing liquid. Evidently the smudged marks on the crates led Macintosh to make an error or two in his deliveries—Horte got the applesauce intended for the bakery instead of the juice he was expecting. Applejack throws a puzzled look across the courtyard; pan quickly to the rest of the immediate family, including Sugar Belle wearing her wedding ring on a thin gold necklace, at another table. Macintosh hunkers down and wraps his forelegs around his head, wishing he could be anyplace except on the wrong end of Granny Smith’s disapproving glare. Puzzled murmurs ripple through the crowd as Spike gulps down his “drink”; now Starlight is seen at the table with him, Applejack, and Pinkie.)
Luna: (shrugging) Hm, close enough.
(In close-up, Twilight just moans softly over the way the whole shebang has gone off the rails. Now the damage to her coiffure and gown can be seen more clearly.)
Luster: (voice over, wearily) Okay…
(Wavering dissolve to…)
NOW
(…Twilight, Luster, and Spike on the dais in the throne room.)
Luster: …I get it now. Your coronation was such a disaster that you and your friends never really recovered, and that’s why you all drifted apart.
Spike: Well…you’re half right.
(Dismay settles across the young mare’s face as the view fades to black.)
Act Three
NOW
(Opening shot: fade in to Luster and Spike on the dais.)
Luster: (to the o.s. Twilight) So…the coronation wasn’t a disaster and your friendships just faded away over time? (Cut to a smiling Twilight.)
Twilight: (climbing off throne) Not exactly.
(One of the doors at the opposite end opens and Pinkie enters with a relieved sigh. Her mane/tail have fluffed out to even more exaggerated dimensions than when she was younger, the former now gathered into a loose bouffant. Various sweets, confetti, strings of pennants, and even small toys are worked into them.)
Pinkie: Sorry I’m late, but it is so hard to find a sitter with a sense of humor for Li’l Cheese.
(A rubber chicken comes flying into the room, marked with a number 6, and a light yellow earth pony filly gallops in after it. Li’l Cheese’s pink mane/tail are a shade darker than Pinkie’s coat and very curly, her eyes are bright green, and her cutie mark is a slice of pie filled with cheese. It is no stretch to pin her as the daughter of Pinkie and Cheese Sandwich, who has apparently had to replace Boneless Two at least four times since “The Last Laugh.” Li’l Cheese bounces Boneless Six off her head a couple of times, then lets it hit the carpet; her mother pats her head before both head toward the dais. Not far behind them is Rarity, who enters on the start of the next line. She is wearing a sparkly, dark blue fur cape with lighter two-tone collar trim; her mane/tail are just as elegant as ever, but now showing one gray streak apiece.)
Rarity: Honestly, I would have been here sooner— (tossing cape off one shoulder) —but you would not believe how busy Yakyakistan is these days.
(Up near the dais, Luster stares in bewilderment at the three new arrivals.)
Rainbow: (from o.s.) Maybe we could get to places on time—
(The doors again; now she and Applejack are entering side by side, on wing and hoof respectively. Rainbow now wears her mane in a swept-back style similar to Spitfire’s, while Applejack has her mane in a bun and her tail braided. A few of the blond hairs have sprung loose, and she sports Granny’s apple-patterned shawl in addition to her trusty brown hat. Rainbow’s clothing consists of an orange turtleneck worn under a dark gray flight jacket with a Wonderbolt insignia and rolled-up sleeves.)
Rainbow: —if you let me do some of the chores instead of always doing everything yourself.
Applejack: Maybe I would if you did them the right way. (They take notice of the others.) Oh! Heh. Sorry. We’re not the last ones, are we?
(A portal opens in the empty air off to one side, and Fluttershy bounds through—tail as full as ever, mane bound into a loop with a flower-shaped scrunchie. A smiling Discord leans partway through to pass her a lunch bag marked with her face and a sun; he then waves and retreats through the portal as it seals itself.)
Fluttershy: Discord’s headed to an O-and-O convention, or he’d be joining us.
(Ogres and Oubliettes, that is. Cut to Luster, who is now having even more trouble making sense of this get-together.)
Luster: I just assumed that since you aren’t together all the time now— (Zoom out slightly, framing Twilight.)
Twilight: —that we aren’t friends?
(The Ponyville seven share a laugh, but not an unkind one.)
Twilight: That’s not the point of my story. It’s true my coronation was a disaster.
(Wavering dissolve to…)
THEN
(…a long shot of the Canterlot Castle courtyard. The crowd has cleared out except for a group at one table. Zoom in slowly and cut to Applejack and Pinkie at it; the pink goofball takes a swig from a fresh glass of applesauce.)
Pinkie: Well, at least the coronation is over.
(Longer shot: Twilight’s friends are sitting here, and she plods to them with a weary sigh. Despite the general disarray of her appearance, her tiara is finally on straight. She takes a seat and flops her chin onto the table as if her whole head were filled with lead shot. A few suppressed giggles from the others turn into a gale of genuine, hearty laughter, with Twilight herself joining in soon enough.)
Twilight: That was something.
(Pan to frame the approaching Starlight and Spike on the next line; behind his back, Spike is holding the gift Starlight was bringing in Act Two.)
Starlight: I was just about to say the same thing. I know maybe it wasn’t the coronation you planned, but it’s good to see all of you laughing.
Spike: We wanted to give this to you before you left Ponyville, but…things got a little hectic. (He holds the box forward.)
Starlight: Since you’re moving away, we thought if you missed any of us, or Ponyville, this might help.
(Twilight hops off her seat and plies her field to unwrap the package—a photo album whose cover bears the crest of the School of Friendship. Flipping the pages reveals picture after picture of the adventures she and her friends have had—with the added feature that these images actually move.)
Twilight: (deeply touched) Awww…
Pinkie: It’s a book of memories.
Applejack: And we all chipped in some.
Fluttershy: No matter how much things change, you’ll always have this to look back on.
Twilight: I love it. (Close the cover.) Thank you so much. But I don’t want to only look back. (Tuck it away.) Obviously the coronation wasn’t perfect, but that doesn’t matter. It’s our relationships that really count, and we have to maintain them.
Rarity: But now that we’ll be living in different places, I’m not exactly sure how.
Twilight: I am. I suggest we meet once a moon. In fact, my first royal decree as ruler of Equestria is to establish this Council of Friendship. (Cheers all around.)
Celestia: (from o.s.) And what a wonderful decree it is.
(Cut to her and Luna crossing the courtyard toward the group.)
Luna: We always knew that whatever adversity you faced, you and your friends would find your way through it together.
Celestia: We know Equestria is in the perfect hooves with you and your friends looking out for it. (Twilight steps toward them.) And while we’ll always be here if you need us, it’s time for us to be on our way.
Twilight: (taken aback) You’re leaving? (Close-up of Luna.)
Luna: We hope you’ll come and visit us in Silver Shoals. (Pan to Celestia.)
Celestia: But now it’s time for you to rule on your own.
(Cut to a slow pan across them and the rest of the Ponyville bunch, tears collecting in the purple eyes above Twilight’s tender smile.)
Celestia: (from o.s.) You’re all more than capable.
Twilight: (softly) Thank you—for everything.
(She launches herself into a cooing, giggling hug with her former teacher/ruler and everlasting role model, which quickly swells to a group embrace among these ten who could now write a dozen books on all the craziness their world can throw at them. Zoom out slowly, the view undergoing a wavering dissolve to…)
NOW
(…a close-up of a wondering Luster in the throne room.)
Luster: (to the o.s. Twilight) So even though everything changed, and you moved away from your friends, you didn’t grow apart? (Overhead shot of the entire group; slow pan.) And this is the Council of Friendship. That’s what you’re all doing here? (Cut to Rainbow.)
Rainbow: Duh! This time, every moon. (Pan to Applejack.)
Applejack: Heh. What she means is, this is how we’ve been rulin’ together.
Rarity: And how we’ve continued to face every problem and threat to Equestria over the years.
Pinkie: But mostly, it’s how we keep in touch—
(Spike spreads one wing to reveal Li’l Cheese hanging on.)
Pinkie: (pulling her down, cuddling her) —no matter how busy life gets.
Twilight: Sometimes friendships can be hard, and it takes work to maintain them. But without friends, things can be a lot harder.
Luster: I never thought about friendship being something to work at. (smiling) A-And I don’t mind work. I-I guess if they don’t have to fade away, maybe making friends isn’t the waste of time I thought. (sighing; face falls) But I’ve been so focused on my studies, I wouldn’t know where to start.
Twilight: That’s all right, because I know exactly where to send you.
Gentle acoustic guitar melody with closed hi-hat cymbal, moderate 4 (E major)
Twilight: When I started out, I was unsure
I thought I knew all that I needed, didn’t know what to expect
Piano, flute, bass guitar, light percussion in
But when my walls came down, I saw the truth
All along something was missing
And I think you’ll see it too
Percussion builds
(She teleports the group to the Ponyville town square; overhead shot, zooming out slowly, followed by a slow pan down one street filled with known and new faces. Derpy Hooves swoops past, scattering letters from the mailbags she carries for her delivery rounds.)
Twilight: This is where the magic happens
This is where the magic lives
(She, Spike, and her friends gather and watch Luster begin to return the waves of passing ponies—tentatively at first, then with more enthusiasm.)
Our friendships weave together, stronger
The bonds grow deeper, lasting longer
And the greatest spell you’ll know
Is how the magic of friendship grows
Mandolin in; piano, flute out
(Pinkie, Rarity, and Li’l Cheese lead Luster to Sugarcube Corner and are met by Pound and Pumpkin Cake at the door. His cutie mark is a cake with one slice gone; hers is a whole pie.)
Pinkie: And no matter how much time goes by
(Close-up: the filly blows a raspberry and gets her mane tousled by Pumpkin, while Pound blows a noisemaker. Zoom out from them to frame Gummy—now grown to at least twice Pinkie’s height and three times her length. Pinkie jumps up to join Cheese on his back as he blows on his own party favor, and Gummy blinks as slowly as ever, still with no coordination between left eye and right. Cheese’s mane has picked up a few touches of gray.)
The party will still be here, with some fun new games to try
(Rainbow flashes past, the view wiping behind her contrail to the group gathered on bleachers for an airshow. She arcs gracefully through a couple of pole-mounted hoops, then flies to keep up with a squad of new Wonderbolts.)
Rainbow: Big adventure’s waiting, obviously
Long as we’re still here together
(The others zoom ahead as she rises to silhouette herself against the sun.)
We’ll be flying happily
Piano, flute, strings in; background lyrics in square brackets
(Now the group approaches the School of Friendship and is met at the doors by Silverstream, who leaps from the perimeter lake as a sea pony and lands on the step as a hippogriff.)
All six: This is where the magic happens [where the magic happens]
(Starlight and Sunburst are waiting for them in the entrance hall. She is in a white blouse with a gold brooch and a magenta blazer whose deep purple lapels match her skirt; he looks much as he did, except for a longer beard that has spread most of the way up his jawline.)
This is where the magic lives [where the magic lives]
(Trixie, talking with a griffon student in a side corridor, has done away with her hat and cape. She now favors a short-sleeved tailcoat in the same color with lighter cuffs/lapels and stars sprinkled across the hem, and a matching tie with a white shirt. The youngster flies on and is welcomed into a classroom by the Cutie Mark Crusaders, whose only significant change is that Apple Bloom is now wearing Cousin Goldie Delicious’ shawl in addition to her bow.)
Our friendships weave together, stronger
(Scootaloo teaches the class, seeing eager hooves/talons go up from desk after desk.)
The bonds grow deeper, lasting longer
(The campus courtyard: Ocellus hovers to wave to Twilight, Starlight, Sunburst, Trixie, the Crusaders, and Luster, then flies up to a treetop to offer a mug of tea to Smolder. The dragon is lounging on a branch and doing a bit of midday stargazing with the help of a sextant; she readily accepts the mug and takes a pull.)
And the greatest spell there is [the greatest spell there is]
What the magic of friendship gives
Strings/bass/piano/percussion/horns only; vocal harmonies behind lyrics
(She lifts off, scattering leaves past the camera; behind them, wipe to Applejack leading Luster through Sweet Apple Acres.)
Applejack: And it’s somethin’ true to pass on down
(They find Macintosh and Sugar in the barnyard—he with mane neatly cut, hitching collar gone, and wearing a brown vest and off-white shirt with rolled-up sleeves, she with a faded streak in her mane and a blue-green scarf around her neck. A couple of puppies whose dark/light coloration pattern resembles that of the Apples’ past pet Winona are out playing, and a purple earth pony colt with a shock of pale orange mane/tail and deep green eyes—the couple’s son—bounds out of a full apple cart to get a hug from his aunt. Birdcatcher spots play across the bridge of his nose, and he has a cutie mark of a cupcake topped by an apple slice.)
To generations yet to come
Mandolin in
(A rain of apples shifts the view to the front door of the Carousel Boutique. Rarity leads Luster here just as it flies open and a light yellow unicorn filly with magenta mane/tail and green eyes races happily out. Her parentage comes to light when Yona greets the two visitors—now wearing gold bands on her legs, a dress styled after her old blanket, and clips of three blue gems to keep her braids secured—and is followed by Sandbar.)
Rarity: And we’ll never stop believing in
(She and the couple embrace joyously.)
The generosity of the friendships we’ve won
Mandolin/guitar/strings only with closed hi-hat; vocal harmonies out
(A flock of birds swarms past the camera; behind it, wipe to Fluttershy at Sweet Feather Sanctuary. Portals open and close behind her so a few small animals can enter the grounds.)
Fluttershy: And because the love that I feel
(Luster marvels at how easily they flock to her and Fluttershy, including more than a few white and mostly-white rabbits whose lineage can easily be traced back to her old pet Angel.)
For every single living creature is something that is real
Percussion in
(Discord flies in through a portal above them; next Twilight approaches and lifts off.)
Friendship happens so naturally
Twilight: Oh, and how I used to wonder [ah-h-h-h]
(She fires up her horn and sends out a curling rainbow.)
What friendship could be
Full instrumentation in
(Fade to white, against which one mare at a time trots/bounds/flies into view, leaving behind a swath of individuals who have benefited from meeting the crew against a differently colored background. In order, with the screen clearing for each: red for Pinkie, orange for Fluttershy, yellow for Rainbow, green for Applejack, blue for Rarity, purple for Twilight.)
All six: This is where the magic happens [where the magic happens]
This is where the magic lives [where the magic lives]
Our friendships weave together, stronger
The bonds grow deeper, lasting longer
And the greatest spell you’ll know [you’ll know]
Is how the magic of friendship grows
(Twilight spreads her wings as her friends, Spike, and Luster gather on a hilltop overlooking Ponyville at sunset, and she bends to nuzzle her faithful student.)
Quiet piano, woodwinds, strings, mandolin, guitar only
Twilight: How the magic of friendship grows
Opening phrase of the series theme, marked by a horn flourish
Song ends with a final gentle chord
(Luster runs a short distance along a path and waves goodbye to Twilight as a small group congregates around her—pony, griffon, kirin, yak. The seven members of the old guard gaze proudly after her, knowing that the lessons they strove to instill in themselves and others will live on into the next generation, and the five younger creatures hurry away, perhaps to start into some adventures of their own.)
(As the sun sinks behind Twilight and company and their shadows lengthen on the hilltop, the camera zooms out to frame their image on the last page of a book resting on a stretch of grass. The facing page bears one legible word—“fin,” French and Spanish for “end”—and the cover slowly closes. The book is the same one that opened to begin the prologue of “Mare in the Moon”: bound in brown leather, with gold bands on the spine, and the cover depicting a unicorn’s head in gold with jeweled eyes. Fade to black.)
CHANGES BETWEEN iTUNES VERSION AND DISCOVERY FAMILY PREMIERE
Prologue Begins with a fade in to a title card with the words “Many
moons later…” zooming toward the camera, then a cut to
the long shot of the repaired/expanded Canterlot
Opening theme Deleted
Closing credits Cover all three episodes, including separate listings for
the voice cast and storyboard staff involved with each