CELESTIAL ADVICE

Written by Joanna Lewis, Kristine Songco

Produced by Devon Cody

Story editing by Joanna Lewis, Kristine Songco

Supervising direction by Jim Miller

Directed by Denny Lu, Tim Stuby

Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)

Prologue

(Opening shot: fade in to a close-up of a door within the Castle of Friendship. Spike reaches into view and knocks, and a burst of magic turns the knob to swing the door inward. Starlight Glimmer puts her head out into the corridor.)

Starlight: Hey, Spike. (stepping out) What’s up?

Spike: Just, uh, wanted to make sure you’re ready for your big ceremony today.

Starlight: Yep.

(The next shot frames the area beyond as her bedroom, within which Twilight Sparkle teleports into view for a glance around, unnoticed by Starlight.)

Starlight: Oh, I still can’t believe my friends and I are getting medals of honor.

Twilight: (under end of previous, almost inaudible) Shhh!

Spike: (to Starlight) Are you kidding? You totally deserve it! After all, you saved Equestria from…

(Looking past her shoulder, he trails off and lets his eyes contract to panicked points. A second later he resumes with slightly forced gusto.)

Spike: …Queen Chrysalis—with the help of Trixie and Thorax and Discord, and—

(Cut to Starlight on the end of this; now Twilight is plying a levitated tape measure against a spot on the far wall.)

Starlight: (a bit confused) Uh, yeah, I know what happened. I was kinda there.

Spike: Uh, right. (Pause.) Uh… so what are you wearing? (Big grin.)

(Behind Starlight, Twilight has brought out a quill and scroll to take notes as she keeps measuring.)

Starlight: Not sure. Why? Am I supposed to dress up?

Spike: (hastily) No! (calmer) I-I mean, you could. It’s like Rarity always says.

(A quick rub of one palm along his head spines turns them into a decent approximation of the white unicorn’s curls.)

Spike: (imitating Rarity) “There’s no such thing as overdressed, darling. You’re just the best-looking pony in the room.”

(He reverts to his normal voice with a weak chuckle and throat-clearing and lets his spines snap back. A sudden tilt of his head to one side raises Starlight’s suspicions.)

Starlight: What are you looking at? (She starts to turn her head; he yanks it back.)

Spike: No! Don’t look!

(Twilight throws him an all-clear signal and vanishes along with her tools; zoom out to frame the entire doorway as Starlight shoots Spike a nasty look. He releases his hold and backs off while she rubs her chin.)

Spike: (thinking fast) ’Cause there was a spider there, but it’s, uh, gone now. So, uh… (hastily) …thanks, Starlight. Bye! (He peels out.)

Starlight: (to herself) Huh?

(Walking back into the room, she lets her magic shut the door behind her. Cut to Twilight in her own bedchamber, pacing the floor with quill and scroll floating in her grip. A telescope stands on a tripod at one window, and hanging over a bookcase is a mirror with several photographs affixed to its edges. The doors swing open to admit Spike, who voices a smug chuckle.)

Spike: She had no idea. (lounging against a wall) We’re a good team, Sparkle.

Twilight: “Sparkle”? (laughing, tucking quill/scroll away) Yeah, we are. So, do you think she’ll like it? I want this present to say, “I’m so proud of you, both as a mentor and a friend. Equestria is safer thanks to you.” (Close-up of Spike.)

Spike: Oh. I thought you were getting her a mirror, like yours.

(He points in its direction as he says this, and the camera then pans/tilts up to frame it. The photos depict her with various combinations of friends past and present, as do a couple of framed ones on top of the bookcase. Twilight steps into view, regards her reflection, and turns happily to him.)

Twilight: I am!

Spike: Uh, maybe you should get her a card, ’cause I don’t think the mirror will say all that. But I think she’ll like it.

Twilight: It’s just what her room needs. (Cut to it; her reflection appears.) The first thing she’ll see when she wakes up is herself surrounded by all her friends. (Zoom out slightly to frame her; she turns toward Spike.) I plan on giving it to her after the ceremony.

Spike: Yeah, about that. Don’t you need to get the Castle ready for the celebration?

Twilight: Nah. Pinkie Pie’s got that covered.

(Wipe to a very large and noticeably empty meeting hall elsewhere in the Castle. Pinkie Pie hops into view and runs her eyes over the space.)

Pinkie: Hmm.

(Reaching up past the top edge of the screen, she pulls one front hoof back down into view with the end of a rope now looped around it. One tug drops tables onto the floor, vases of flowers onto these, and releases a torrent of confetti, which clears to expose a few more instant party preparations. Namely: balloons and garlands lining the walls, a stage at the far end with a small pedestal, and a banner above the lot that depicts a pink heart in a gold setting with a backdrop of a curling white ribbon.)

Pinkie: (wiping forehead) Phew!

(She tranquilly exits the scene as the view fades to black.)

OPENING THEME

Act One

(Opening shot: fade in to the same meeting hall, now packed with ponies—and a few changelings—from one side to the other. Twilight stands on the stage with Princesses Celestia and Luna, as well as the four who effected Queen Chrysalis’s downfall in “To Where and Back Again”: Starlight, Trixie, Discord, and Thorax. Trixie is wearing her starry hat and cape. Zoom in slowly.)

Twilight: Starlight, Trixie, Thorax, and Discord were brave in the face of danger, resourceful when things got challenging— (Slow pan across the front row; she continues o.s.) —and proved that the bonds of friendship, no matter how unlikely, are stronger than any adversity.

(Back to the stage. This shot is close enough to pick out a small cushion resting on the pedestal and four items nestled on it.)

Twilight: By stopping Queen Chrysalis, not only did they save Equestria, they set the changelings free from her reign.

(The front row again, in close-up. A flash of light splits the air behind them, and the camera tilts up to follow their gazes and frame Discord standing amid the throng, with a “We’re #1” foam-finger hand on his lion paw and a pennant decorated with his own eyes and horn/antler held in his talons. He is wearing a blue athletic jersey and a two-tone fuzzy hat in this same color, complete with the mismatched growths.)

Discord: Go, Discord! Yahoo!

(The trickster trails off into exuberant laughter as he waves the hand and pennant; up onstage, Starlight stifles a giggle as Trixie rolls her eyes disgustedly. Twilight, meanwhile, narrows her eyes at him but quickly shifts into a slightly ingratiating grin once Celestia steps forward alongside her.)

Celestia: And that’s why we’re proud and honored to give them the Equestrian Pink Hearts of Courage.

(Close-up of the pedestal on the end of this; one gold-shod front hoof gestures to it. The items on the pillow are medals, each with a pink heart-shaped jewel in a gold setting backed with a pair of wings. Cheers erupt as Luna’s magic lifts them clear and sends them toward the quartet, Discord now back among them and with his fan gear stripped off. All four bow, Trixie’s aura sweeping her hat off her head. The two unicorns’ medals settle around their necks in short order, but Discord makes the job of receiving his own a bit easier by simply popping his head off and then reattaching it once the medal is in place. Thorax poses quite a bit more of a challenge due to the length and curvature of his new antlers, and Luna strains a bit to stretch the ribbon far enough to get past them. Cut to Pinkie, Rarity, and Spike at one table. The general mood shifts from jubilation to tension during the next line.)

Pinkie: Yeah!…Oh…uh…no…

(A panicked little squeal; cut to Luna, still fighting to make it past the great bend.)

Pinkie: (from o.s.) …not quite… (A nervous little shudder; back to the table. Now she smiles.) …all right, there it is… (Pop into place.) …yaaay!

(The Princess of the Night has finally managed to bring Thorax’s medal down onto his neck without breaking the ribbon. She is a bit surprised to see Celestia step up and regard him with a proud look.)

Twilight: We are so proud of you all.

(Trixie has her hat back on by this point. More cheers as she and Starlight regard their new decorations and trade warm grins. Cut to Twilight and Celestia side by side and zoom in slowly on the former for a moment, then dissolve to a close-up of a record being raised and spun in the air on an off-white hoof. A zoom out shows it in the grip of DJ P0N-3, who quickly slaps it down on her turntables and starts a pulsing dance beat. Attendees dance and talk among themselves as the camera pans across the hall, stopping on Trixie as she regales Double Diamond, Night Glider, and Sugar Belle; Starlight and Thorax are talking nearby.)

Trixie: (full ham mode) It was the Great and Powerful Trixie’s pleasure— (Close-up.) —to save you from your imminent doom. (Discord’s head/neck materialize to peek over her shoulder.)

Discord: (teasingly, poking her in the nose) Yes, because you did it all by yourself.

(Pan to Starlight and Thorax. She giggles and Sunburst joins them, as do two changelings. The first to speak will later be identified as Cornicle.)

Sunburst: I can’t believe you managed to do it without magic.

Cornicle: It was amazing!

Changeling 1: No one’s ever stood up to Chrysalis like that! (Zoom out across the hall.)

Starlight: Oh, I just did what anypony would’ve done. (Deprecating laugh.)

(Twilight catches sight of her on the end of this, and the camera shifts to a close-up of her warmly smiling countenance. Zoom out slightly on the start of the next line, Celestia crossing to her.)

Celestia: It’s a wonderful feeling, isn’t it? Watching your student shine the way you always knew they could.

Twilight: (laughing) My cheeks are sore! I don’t think I’ve ever smiled this much in my life!

Celestia: (knowingly) I can only imagine what that feels like.

(She steps away with a wink; an instant later, Discord pops up out of nowhere and coils around Twilight’s midsection.)

Discord: Yes, Starlight is student of the year, isn’t she? She has so much potential. (throwing lion-paw forelimb around her shoulders) So what are we going to do with her? And by “we,” I definitely mean “you.”

(He pokes her nose with a talon on this last word.)

Discord: Being her mentor and all that, her destiny falls squarely on your haunches.

(She extricates himself from the coils of his body by teleporting a few feet away; now he stands up on his hind limbs.)

Twilight: Oh, don’t you worry. I’ve planned enough friendship lessons to cover the next three years. (Hearty laughter from him.) What’s so funny?

(It takes a few seconds for him to compose himself.)

Discord: Clearly Starlight is beyond basic friendship lessons. (pulling his medal briefly out to full length) She just won a medal, for Equestria’s sake! I thought you were joking. (smiling, but serious) You are joking, right?

Twilight: (laughing lamely) Of course I was. (He straightens up.)

Discord: Obviously you should have a grand master plan for her, the same way Celestia set you on a path that eventually made you a princess.

(He gestures toward her to emphasize each “you” and pulls her wings out to full extension as he finishes to hammer the point home. Her response is to stitch on a big shaky grin and start sweating more than she really ought.)

Twilight: Yep.

Discord: Oh, good! I’m sure she can’t wait to hear all about it.

(With a rub of his talons and lion paw, he winks out; in his absence, the violet sovereign utters a scared little moan and adds a shiver on top of her overactive perspiration. Cut to Starlight and Thorax crossing the hall. When he speaks, his voice is exactly the same as it was before his transformation.)

Starlight: So, how’s the whole “ruling a kingdom” thing going?

Thorax: It’s a bit…overwhelming, but we’re adjusting.

(They stop at a table at which Applejack, Rarity, and the two earlier changelings—now slightly confused—have congregated.)

Changeling 1: So…you can’t have friendship without makeovers? (Rarity grins and nods.)

Applejack: Uh…not—not exactly.

[Error: #1 speaks in Cornicle’s voice from the previous scene.]

(Starlight and Thorax tack on the most reassuring grins they can muster up.)

Discord: (from o.s.) Oh, Starlight… (Zoom out slowly; he stands next to her. The music stops.) …Princess Twilight has something very important to tell us… (briefly twisting his head upside down) …well, just you, really—

(As he continues, he pulls out a set of Groucho Marx joke glasses and puts them on.)

Discord: —but I’m nosy and I want to hear.

Starlight: Okay. (to Thorax) Would you excuse me?

(He lifts her bodily off the floor as she says this, and she has barely finished before they disappear in a flash. The glasses go flying and settle themselves on Thorax’s face; a moment later the two short-hoppers rematerialize next to Twilight as she speaks with a stallion.)

Starlight: (dryly) Never mind. (Discord sets her down; the stallion leaves and she smiles.) What’s going on?

Discord: (coiling behind Twilight, pushing her forward) Well, Twilight was just about to reveal her grand master plan—for you!

Starlight: Really? I was kind of wondering what we were gonna do next.

Discord: Yes, I’d say we were both fairly interested. (He tosses Twilight a sly grin.)

Twilight: (trying to sound casual) Of course you are, and I do have a plan, obviously. (She floats a cup of punch off a passing waiter’s tray.) But now’s clearly not the time to do it. You should enjoy your party.

(As she averts her eyes and takes a sip, the camera cuts back to Starlight and Discord.)

Trixie: (from o.s.) Starlight, come on! (Zoom out to frame her.) The Ponyville Chronicle wants to take our picture!

(Only after a bit of nervous-excited trotting in place does she notice the draconequus, letting her face fall with a groan.)

Trixie: You too, Discord.

(As all three head off to find the photographer, the camera pans to frame Twilight still drinking her punch. She lets go with a relieved sigh an instant before a flash of light within the cup deposits a bite-sized Discord within it, throwing her off guard all over again.)

Discord: Psst!

(Close-up; he has donned a shower cap and is taking a bath in the beverage.)

Discord: I see what you’re doing.

Twilight: You do?

Discord: You already planned the perfect moment during the party to make the grand announcement to everypony about your plan.

(Reaching down into the cup, he comes up with a drain stopper on a chain and the soapy punch begins to empty out as if from a bathtub. A split second later he has returned to full size, decked out in a gold-trimmed blue tailcoat, blue top hat, and white shirt with dark gray vest and bow tie. This is the first moment since receiving his medal that he is no longer wearing it.)

Discord: (clapping) Brava, Twilight! (Twilight magically sets her cup on a table.) I can’t wait to tell Fluttershy and the others. (Vanish.)

Twilight: Discord, no!

(She jitters her hooves madly in place for a second before magically yanking a door open and galloping through it. Elsewhere in the hall, Spike eyes a plateful of muffins hungrily and licks his chops at the prospect of free baked goods. Just as he is about to chomp into one, the sound of the slamming door yanks his attention away. Cut to another set of closed doors, which open to admit him.)

Spike: Twilight, are you reading during a party—again?

(Now he is thrown off by the sound of rustling paper; zoom out on the start of the next line to show both him and Twilight in the library. She is half-buried in a mass of opened scrolls and is frantically running her eyes over one after another.)

Twilight: (tossing one aside) No, no, no, she’s already good at that! (Again.) She mastered this! (reading a third) She taught me about this one!

Spike: (dryly, crossing to her) Wild guess. Something’s wrong.

Twilight: Spike, I’m a terrible mentor. (throwing scroll aside) Why didn’t I come up with a path for Starlight? Princess Celestia had it all figured out for me!

(She straightens up with a gasp and smile.)

Twilight: That’s it!

(Her next move is to bound out of the library with a slightly crazed giggle, dragging the end of one ridiculously long parchment across the floor in the process. The other end wraps around Spike’s midsection and tows him along.)

Spike: Whoa!

 (Dissolve to an overhead shot of the throne room, whose central table is set with its magical map, and zoom in slowly. Twilight paces the floor across from her and Spike’s thrones, the camera angle framing only their backs. However, Celestia’s mane waves past the armrest of the larger to mark her presence on it, and Spike can be seen in the smaller. The resident Princess has brought the pile of scrolls with her and is floating one at eye level.)

Twilight: I had years’ worth of friendship lessons ready to go. But when we were captured by Chrysalis, Starlight took charge and really stepped up. (Close-up; she nibbles her bottom lip and turns the scroll to show Celestia.) I don’t think friendship lessons are enough for her anymore.

Celestia: So you have an overachieving student. Sounds familiar. (Spike snickers; Twilight drops the scroll.)

Twilight: That’s why I had to talk to you. You of all ponies would know what to do. I mean, you were me and I was Starlight. But for now, I need you to pretend you’re you and I’m me.

Spike: Huh?

Celestia: (chuckling gently) Go on.

Twilight: When I was your student and you were in this place, you… (softly, suddenly horrified) …oh, no.

(The good humor fades from the solar mare’s face, replaced by a downcast expression. Cut to Twilight and zoom in slowly.)

Twilight: You sent me to Ponyville…which means it’s time for me to send Starlight Glimmer away!

(Snap to black.)

Act Two

(Opening shot: fade in to a close-up of Twilight.)

Twilight: I can’t believe it! It really is time for Starlight to go, isn’t it?

Celestia: (crossing to her) Only you can make that decision. It’s a difficult one— (smiling, touching Twilight’s chest) —but your heart knows what’s right, even as it hurts.

Spike: Where are you gonna send her?

(The query sends a fresh jolt of sheer undiluted panic through every last neuron in Twilight’s brain.)

Spike: (sheepishly) Heh…too soon?

Twilight: (sadly) No. This is something I have to do.

(Crossing to the map table, she rests her front hooves on its edge and looks from side to side.)

Twilight: Oh, boy.

(Cut to a close-up of a very cheerful Fluttershy in the meeting hall.)

Fluttershy: Oh, boy!

(Cut to just behind her and the rest of Twilight’s friends, gathered behind a table and facing one window. Discord has contorted his body to fit within its frame, and has done away with his Act One formalwear and put his medal back on.)

Discord: Whatever Twilight’s planning for Starlight is going to be so exciting.

Applejack: Hmm…wonder why she didn’t tell any of us about it.

Discord: Probably because you’re not as close as you think you are.

(Concerned looks pass among the five mares before he chuckles richly and makes a throwaway gesture with his taloned forelimb.)

Discord: Just kidding. She wanted it to be a big surprise. (leaning to them) Just between us, she’s getting ready to make a big announcement! (Grin; Pinkie squeals out her delight, touching her nose to Rarity’s in close-up.)

Pinkie: That’s so exciting—and surprising. Usually you tell your party planner about all your plans for your party.

Rainbow Dash: (from o.s.) Well, she definitely has one. (Pan/tilt up to her, hovering over the table.) I mean, when has Twilight not had a plan?

(No response from the others. Wipe to an overhead shot of the throne room and zoom in slowly on Twilight, Celestia, and Spike on the far side of the map table.)

Twilight: (quickly, whispering to herself) Ooh, gosh, I don’t know, I just don’t want to send her to the wrong place, ooh…

(Close-up; she sighs and puts a hoof to her temple, resting the other one on the edge. After a bit more sotto-voce mumbling, she pulls in a happy gasp.)

Twilight: I got it! (Race over to Celestia; Spike follows at a leisurely pace.) Since defeating Chrysalis, Starlight’s given the changelings an opportunity to revolutionize their society. Maybe I can send her there.

(She casts a spell that sends hexagonal waves of energy radiating out around the three; the effect is to change their backdrop to a stretch of craggy hardscrabble. All three have become translucent, palely tinted, glowing monochrome figures—violet for Twilight, gray for Celestia, green for Spike. As they look around themselves, a changeling touches down next to Spike and trots clean through him without encountering resistance or taking any notice of his cheery wave.)

Spike: (to Twilight) Cool spell!

Twilight: If Starlight goes to the changeling hive, she can help them adjust to their new way of life.

(Across the way, Starlight and Thorax stand facing a small group. Zoom in slowly on them.)

Starlight: Okay! Friendship 101. (Close-up.) Thorax and I are going to show you how to compromise.

(The next two lines are delivered in a stilted fashion, as if being read from cue cards.)

Thorax: I want to have honeysuckle nectar for lunch.

Starlight: I would like a sandwich. (distressed) Oh, no. What should we do?

Changeling 2: (fiercely) Attack! The winner gets to choose!

(Sounds of assent from the audience, which throw the two presenters for a loop.)

Starlight: Or…Thorax and I can talk about it and come up with a solution that works for everypony.

Thorax: (stilted) Starlight, how do you feel about honeysuckle and peanut butter sandwiches?

Starlight: (ditto) Why, that sounds delicious!

Starlight, Thorax: (normal tone) Compromise!

(They shake hooves and the audience members talk among themselves as the camera zooms in on the three spectral eavesdroppers.)

Spike: Uh, this doesn’t seem like something Starlight and Thorax would do.

Celestia: Uh, this is Twilight’s fantasy, Spike. There is no wrong way to fantasize.

(So this is all a “what-if” scenario that Twilight has conjured up.)

Twilight: (smugly) Thank you.

Changeling 2: Starlight Glimmer is a most apt and perspicacious pony.

Spike: (irked) Yep. Definitely a Twilight fantasy.

Celestia: This seems like a lovely path for Starlight. The changelings have so much to learn about how to enjoy love through friendships. Starlight would be busy for a very long time, but her work there would be very rewarding.

(A smile steals over the violet mare’s face, but disappears all too soon as a fresh worry takes hold. Zoom in slowly.)

Twilight: Or dangerous. It would only take one changeling to deviate from the pack.

(She pivots to find Starlight approaching a clutch of eggs tucked into a niche in the rocky ground. These are levitated into the open and carried off as she trots away; behind her, a changeling peeks up from a ridge, eyeing her with bad intent, and assumes her form in a wash of magic. “She” hurries away, cackling nastily as she passes the trio, and stops to address three changelings, one of whom is Cornicle.)

Fake Starlight: Hi! I’m Starlight Glimmer. What’s your name?

Cornicle: Uh…Cornicle?

Fake Starlight: (laughing loudly) What kind of name is that? (pulling another’s wings with her magic) Oh, your wings are so, um… (peering through one) …see-through. I’m so glad I’m a pony. (Chuckle.) Are you, like, bugs or what?

[Error: Similar to the voice mistake in Act One, Cornicle speaks with the voice of Changeling 1 in both this line and his next one.]

(To their very great consternation, she conjures up a giant flyswatter and uses it to smack two of them down at once. She hurries around a corner and out of sight just before the real Starlight walks up, just in time for the two assault victims to regain their senses and Cornicle to gasp.)

Cornicle: There she is! (Cut to her; he continues o.s.) Get her!

(She grimaces in terror and peels out, chased by all three. The waves of Twilight’s spell flare over the scene to return her, Celestia, and Spike to the throne room and restore their normal appearance.)

Spike: Uh, that probably won’t happen.

Twilight: But it could! (pacing a bit) I can’t just send her off to Celestia knows where without thinking it through!

Celestia: Hm. (smiling) I was not aware that I was an expression. An appropriate one, of course, for even I don’t know the answer. (pacing to Twilight) This is a momentous decision. (touching her chest) You must consider all the possibilities.

Twilight: (tapping her own temple) Rethink, rethink, rethink! (Back to the map.) What about the dragons? (turning to Celestia, Spike) I can send Starlight to the Dragon Lands! She and Ember would totally hit it off.

(Ember, recall, succeeded her father Torch as Dragon Lord in “Gauntlet of Fire,” with an assist from Spike. Twilight casts her “what-if” spell again, transporting the three ghostly selves to the stony expanse of the Dragon Lands; zoom out to frame the giant, throne-like formation on which Torch held court. It has been festooned with pennants and enormous red gems, and a blue banner depicting a gout of fire hangs from the front edge of the seat. As dragons wing their way back and forth, the camera cuts to a close-up of Ember, sitting impassively on a ledge and regarding the goings-on. Starlight teleports in several yards away; when she speaks next, her voice carries a distinct surfer tone.)

Starlight: Ember!

(Who promptly hops down and crosses to her, speaking in like manner.)

Ember: Starlight!

(One front hoof and one clawed hand seize hold of each other, and their owners do a quick bit of arm wrestling before jumping up to bump chests with a grunting shout.)

Ember: You ready to do some death-defying dragon stuff?

Starlight: (laughing) Totally!

(A moment later, the three travelers are alone again.)

Spike: Okay, that doesn’t sound anything like Ember or Starlight.

Twilight: Who knows what their dynamic would be, Spike?

(Cut to a vaguely pony-shaped collection of small stacked rocks, which become gravel when a gout of flame hits them. A longer shot picks out several dragons at a firing line, with five more such arrangements placed at various distances—a target range. Starlight and Ember are now among them, the three travelers watching from the sidelines. A purple one takes a turn, then Ember, and Starlight outdoes them by wiping out the last three with a beam from her horn. A scaly fist and a front hoof bump together in extreme close-up, creating a flash of light that clears to give a close-up of one very puzzled baby dragon. He gasps sharply upon looking down, and a longer shot reveals that he, Twilight, and Celestia are now hovering in midair amid thick gray clouds. He clutches at his boss for support, but works up the nerve to pat the “ground” under his feet, generating a couple of hollowly reverberating thuds. Finding it solid enough for his liking, he climbs down.)

Spike: Freaky. (Dragons fly past.)

Twilight: Starlight will love it in the Dragon Lands! In her letters, Ember said dragons do a lot of fun things. The Feast of Fire, the Dragon Bowl, Claw-chella…

(She is cut off by a whooping laugh from Starlight, now riding a saddle strapped to a massive broad back. Cut to her mount, Torch, as he flaps mightily through the aerial traffic.)

Twilight: (from o.s.) Starlight could be there for a really long time! (Back to the three; she becomes concerned.) But then again, not all dragons like ponies as much as Ember does.

(Tilt down quickly to a cliff on which Garble and his delinquent buddies from “Dragon Quest” have gathered. Starlight and Ember stroll up to the bunch as they start doing high dives.)

Garble: Hey, Twinkle Star!

Starlight: It’s, uh, Starlight Glimmer.

Garble: (confused) Star…kle…Lightstar?

Starlight: (enunciating very carefully) Starlight Glimmer.

Garble: Yeah, whatever. (throwing an arm around her shoulders) You want to hang with us?

(Not waiting for a response, he charges toward the edge of the cliff with her in tow and the pair hurtle into empty space.)

Starlight: What are we diving into?

Garble: Lava!

Starlight: What?!?

(Cut to a pool of the hot stuff at the base of the cliff, in which several of the other ne’er-do-wells are taking a dip. As Starlight and Garble plummet toward certain doom for one of them, the view zooms out quickly to become a reflection playing in Twilight’s terrified eye.)

Spike: Twilight, this is crazy!

(She dispels her enchantment to return him, herself, and Celestia to the throne room.)

Spike: Starlight’s really good with magic. She could just stop herself from falling into a pit of lava.

Twilight: What if she didn’t realize it was happening?!? You just never know, Spike! (turning to map) I just need to think of someplace safe to send her. (to herself) Someplace safe, someplace safe, someplace safe…

(The tiny representation of the Crystal Castle gives her an idea.)

Twilight: I could send her to the Crystal Empire to continue her magical studies with Sunburst!

(A clatter of hooves, and she is back with the others to cast her spell again. This time, it deposits them in the Crystal Castle’s immense library, and a zoom out and turn of Celestia’s head frame the bespectacled unicorn in question at a table on the bottom floor. As Twilight continues, the incorporeal voyagers turn for a better look from the top of the nearest staircase and Starlight can be seen at the table as well, safety goggles strapped on as she floats a full test tube over a flask of liquid. A second flask stands at Sunburst’s end, and a sawed-off log section rests vertically between them. He leafs through one of two floating books as the camera zooms in slowly; others are stacked nearby on the floor.)

Twilight: It’ll be perfect! Sunburst’s knowledge of magic is only matched by Starlight’s abilities. (Starlight pours the tube’s contents into her flask; Sunburst checks the second book in close-up.)

Sunburst: I’ve got it! Try placing your horn directly on the potion, and picture the clock you wish to make.

(His research assistant pours her entire flask over the wood, touches the end of her horn to the purple liquid, and closes her eyes. A split-second spark of light consumes it and subsides to reveal a well-crafted cuckoo clock in its place. As soon as the hands advance to 2:00, a little replica of Flurry Heart pops out from the hatch above the face to announce the hour. On the start of the next line, pan/tilt up to Twilight, Celestia, and Spike.)

Twilight: They could challenge each other into becoming the most talented unicorns Equestria’s ever seen! (The table again; Starlight’s goggles are propped on her forehead.)

Starlight: We did it! Quick! What’s next? (Sunburst checks a book.)

Twilight: (increasingly worked up) Of course, the study of magic is a lifelong pursuit, and Starlight could be there for a while, especially once they start attempting the really complicated stuff.

(The two unicorns trot past, book in tow, as she says this; from here, cut to a rather bored Spike.)

Spike: (counting down on fingers) Three…two…one… (Zoom out to frame all three on the following.)

Twilight: What if they become too ambitious?

(Wipe to just outside a window of Sunburst’s house and zoom in slowly. He and Starlight are inside, poring over an array of documents, as Twilight and company look on. Starlight has removed her goggles altogether.)

Starlight: I never would have thought to combine Starswirl’s apparition spell with Spatium Flexibus. (Close-up; she flips pages.) But…what would happen if we added Somnambula’s Tempus Objectus?

Sunburst: If we do it just right, it should allow us to materialize an object that was lost in the past.

(His field brings up a piece of chalk and lowers it to start sketching on the floor. Two concentric circles are quickly drawn, one slightly smaller than the other, as both sets of hooves step up and Twilight cringes in mute horror. Cut to an overhead shot of the drawing and zoom out slowly; it now consists of an intricate combination of circles, triangles, and runes, and Sunburst completes a five-pointed star at the center to finish it up.)

Twilight: (softly) No! Don’t do it!

(Her warning unheard and unheeded, the investigators kick-start their horns. The chalk lines between them fade to deep blue and become infused with a lighter glow—and then a dead black aperture opens at the center of it all and begins to generate an intense suction. Each screams in turn as books, scrolls, and every single one of Sunburst’s material possessions go down the hole, and Starlight ends up being yanked in after them. Cut to just below the surface.)

Twilight, Sunburst: Starlight! (reaching in futilely after her) NOOOOO!!

(The room again. Now it is Sunburst’s turn to get dragged in, and the job finishes with the entire room simply winking out of existence to leave Twilight, Celestia, and Spike standing against a black field. Tears gather in the young Princess’s spectral eyes and run freely down her cheeks.)

Spike: Twilight, snap out of it!

(She breaks the spell, but the tears are still there.)

Spike: Easy, Twilight. (She wipes her face.) It didn’t happen.

Twilight: But it could! (pacing, in close-up) I just don’t think I can send her anywhere. What am I gonna do?

(She freezes in her tracks at what, for her, must surely be the last sound she expected to hear at this moment: a peal of laughter from Celestia. Cut to her, rearing up and loving every second of this, then back to a slow zoom in on an utterly gobsmacked Twilight.)

Twilight: Are you laughing at me?

(She grimaces a bit before the view snaps to black.)

Act Three

(Opening shot: fade in to an overhead shot of Twilight, Celestia, and Spike. Zoom in slowly as Celestia continues to laugh herself silly, then cut to a close-up of Twilight.)

Twilight: I can’t believe you’re laughing at me. (The laughter finally stops.)

Celestia: (from o.s.) Oh, Twilight, I’m not.

(She lifts Twilight’s chin gently; cut to frame both.)

Celestia: I’m laughing because I had the exact same fears you’re having.

Twilight: What?!? (Celestia sits down on her haunches.)

Celestia: Let me tell you a story. (Twilight does likewise; Spike hurries to join her.) Once upon a time, there was a very bright young filly.

(A wavering dissolve shifts the action to a classroom; she paces behind the front desk as seven unicorn fillies in safety goggles conduct science experiments. Six of them are in pairs—Minuette and Twinkleshine, Lemon Hearts and Moondancer, Lyra Heartstrings and Ruby Pinch—while Twilight’s younger self works alone. This flashback is set during her days at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns.)

Celestia: (voice over) She was one of my best students.

(Close-up of the book in which Filly TS has her nose buried.)

Spike: (voice over) Are you talking about Twilight? (Book down.) I can’t see what you’re thinking about. (Filly TS telekinetically mixes reagents.)

Celestia: (voice over, sighing a bit) Yes, Spike.

(The last drop causes a flower-shaped burst of blue/yellow smoke to issue from her flask. Filly MI and Filly TW get a small bloom to sprout from their flowerpot, as do Filly LH and Filly MD, the latter jotting some quick notes. Now Celestia glances off in Filly TS’s direction.)

Celestia: (voice over) I was constantly surprised and impressed with her discoveries.

(During this line, the camera cuts back to the young bookworm, who adds a drop of mixture to her pot and is met with the emergence of a large, glowing, blue/green bit of flora that stands even taller than she does. Celestia grins proudly, then shifts her eyes to the rest of the room; cut to the area and pan slowly across. The other six students are laughing and chattering over their successes.)

Celestia: (voice over) But I noticed that her pursuit of academia was preventing her from reaching her full potential.

(The monster flower lifts a leaf to give Filly TS a high five, and she goes back to her reading.)

Spike: (voice over) You mean it was keeping her isolated and alone?

Celestia: (voice over) Uh…yes, Spike. (She looks toward Twilight with evident concern.) I had a decision to make.

(As the regal face turns away, the camera pans in that direction to put it out of frame. The view toward which she turns becomes a long overhead shot of Canterlot proper under the setting sun; she stands on a ridge overlooking it.)

Celestia: (voice over) Oh, but it wasn’t easy.

Celestia: (on screen, as the sky slowly darkens) Maybe I could close the library, or throw a party in the castle. Oh, she’d have to talk to the other fillies then. (Face falls; she glances skyward.) Oh…

(Cut to a close-up of the moon, which at this point still bears the crater-pocked likeness of Nightmare Moon, and zoom out to frame Celestia gazing ruefully at it with tears gathering in her eyes.)

Celestia: I must send her away.

(Dissolve to the pennant flying atop the Ponyville town hall during the day and tilt down to ground level. The camera zooms out at the same time to frame more of the town square; Celestia and Mayor Mare are here for a talk, and the rest of Twilight’s future friends except for Pinkie cross the square. All are grown, indicating that the action has jumped ahead some years.)

Celestia: (voice over) I knew there was a special group of fillies in Ponyville— (Pinkie hops in; all five head off together.) —but I kept inventing all kinds of reasons why I shouldn’t send you.

(Cut to a close-up of Celestia’s uneasy countenance on the end of this, hoof to mouth in heavy thought, then dissolve to her pacing the floor in her throne room. Two guards are on duty here.)

Celestia: (gasping) What if she runs into a manticore? Or what if she gets pulled into Tartarus? Or worst of all, what if she doesn’t get along with anypony? (She chews a front hoof fearfully.)

Guard 1: (aside, to Guard 2) Are we supposed to say something?

Guard 2: (ditto) I don’t think so.

(Dissolve to Twilight and Spike leaving Canterlot by pegasus-drawn chariot—the start of their trip to Ponyville in “Mare in the Moon.” On the next line, zoom out to show Celestia staring after the vehicle.)

Celestia: (voice over) I kept you in Canterlot longer than I should have.

(She turns away, letting a tear dribble down one white cheek, and a wavering dissolve brings the scene back to the present time.)

Celestia: Eventually I realized all the anxiety I felt was because I didn’t want you to go.

Twilight: (smiling) Really?

Celestia: (standing) I loved having you as a student. You challenged me and taught me just as much as I taught you. I am embarrassed to admit it, but I was afraid if you made friends, you wouldn’t need me anymore.

(Now it is Twilight’s turn to tear up.)

Twilight: (standing) Princess Celestia, that is so not true. (Spike gets up.) I will always need you. (She wipes her eyes.)

Celestia: I think Starlight Glimmer might feel the same way about you—

(A gentle poke in the chest emphasizes the claim.)

Celestia: —if that is what you’re afraid of.

Twilight: Maybe it is, just a little.

Spike: (chuckling) Oh, it definitely is. Like, a lot. (Twilight aims a hairy eyeball at him.)

Celestia: Here we are after all these years, Twilight. (touching her chest again) We are living proof that letting someone spread their wings doesn’t mean you no longer have a place in their lives.

(She suits the action to the word on this second sentence by unfurling her wings and using one of them to scoop Twilight and Spike in for a sideways hug. Close-up of Twilight.)

Twilight: Thank you. (Pan/tilt up to Celestia.)

Celestia: And if you’re still worried… (stifling a giggle) …you can always make her write you letters.

(She tacks on a knowing wink, bringing a snicker from Spike. Dissolve to the meeting hall, where the party is still in full swing; all quiet down, though, when Twilight’s magic envelops the doors and opens them so she can enter. Floating alongside her is a large, flat gift box, which she maneuvers away from herself just before an unexpected spotlight beam picks her out. As she shields her eyes from the glare, a microphone is lowered into view on the end of a long pole, whumping her in the head.  A longer shot frames her on the stage, Discord working the equipment and holding the pole, and a movie camera set up to catch all the action. He has removed his medal and changed into a white T-shirt, red jacket, and blue cap, and he wears a set of headphones connected to the mic. Twilight narrows her eyes at the inept operator.)

Discord: I may have let it slip that you’d be unveiling your big plan for Starlight tonight. Silly me. (tossing mic aside) But we’re all very excited to hear what you’ve cooked up. (Big squeaky grin.)

(Cut to a slow pan across the room from stage level, framing the expectant crowd and Twilight staring at them all like a deer caught in headlights. She ducks fearfully behind Discord to get out of their line of sight.)

Discord: You weren’t coming up with a plan just now, were you? Oh, dear. This could be pretty embarrassing for you. (Slightly mischievous grin; close-up of Twilight.)

Twilight: (sourly) Gee, thanks, Discord. (Zoom out to frame him.)

Discord: Anytime. (patting her hoof) I really do love being helpful.

(He and all his gear vanish in a blink, and she levitates an unused spoon and glass off a table. Tapping the former against the latter for attention, she addresses the crowd.)

Twilight: If I could have everypony’s attention? (gesturing to Starlight; slow pan) As you all know, Starlight Glimmer’s been my pupil for a while now, and I’d hoped she’d be my pupil for a long time yet to come. But it turns out that’s just not meant to be.

(Cut to Starlight, Sunburst, and Trixie, their shocked gasps joining with those of all the others.)

Twilight: (from o.s.) Starlight… (Back to Twilight.) …you have proved yourself to be a kind, loyal, strong, honest, and truly magical friend. (Pan across the room; she continues o.s.) Just looking around this room at all the new friendships you’ve made, I know there’s nothing more I need to teach you. (Stop on her, looking at a perturbed Starlight.) So we have a second reason to celebrate today. Three cheers for Starlight Glimmer on her graduation day!

(That catches the unicorn student upside the head; meanwhile, the crowd goes wild and Pinkie lets go with an ecstatic squeal, knocking her front hooves together.)

Pinkie: What a great surprise! (The blue eyes go big and brim with joyful tears.)

Twilight: (to Starlight) Your future’s in your own hooves now. (Close-up of Starlight.)

Starlight: Wow. I was not expecting this.

(Zoom out; Trixie and Thorax stand to either side, and they are quick to sandwich her in a hug as Sunburst gives her a gentle smile. Back to Twilight.)

Discord: (from o.s.) Darn it.

(He leans into view, having ditched his work clothes and put his medal on again.)

Discord: I was hoping you’d send her to my realm. We could’ve been roomies. Way to not pick up what I was putting down.

(The only response he gets is a sidewise eye roll before Twilight walks away.)

Trixie: (to Starlight) How do you want to celebrate? Girls’ trip to Las Pegasus?

Thorax: We can throw you a changeling gorb-fest! (Starlight cringes a bit.) Uh, it’s more fun than it sounds.

(He manages a shaky grin; Starlight responds with a much broader one before a lion-paw digit taps her shoulder. She turns to face Discord.)

Discord: Or we could go cause a little mischief. I know a trick that’ll turn Celestia’s castle into cheese. Do you think it’s a Gouda idea? (Laugh.) That’s just the first of many cheese jokes, if we go down this path.

Starlight: (laughing) That all sounds wonderful. But, um, give me a minute, would you?

(She mounts the stage, where Twilight, Celestia, Luna, and Spike are enjoying themselves, and Twilight turns to her.)

Twilight: Congratulations.

Starlight: Thanks.

Twilight: So, how do you feel?

Starlight: Happy, surprised, overwhelmed… (Weak chuckle.) …I mean, not that I’m not grateful, but…are you sure?

(Twilight looks to the other three for support and finds what she needs in their six eyes.)

Twilight: Believe me, I’ve thought long and hard about this.

Starlight: Of course you did.

Twilight: Starlight, trust me. You’re ready.

Starlight: (forcing a smile) Yeah. (She paces away, then returns deflated.) No, I’m not.

Twilight: What are you talking about?

Starlight: (loudly) I’m not ready to leave! (Twilight grins and hugs her.)

Twilight: Oh, good! ’Cause I’m not ready for that, either. Here. (She floats the gift box over.) I got you this present.

(Snap to black, which resolves into the interior of the box as the lid is lifted away so Starlight can get an eyeful of the contents. She stares popeyed for a moment, then lets her mouth curve into an ear-to-ear smile while her magic lifts something to block out the entire screen. From here, snap to an extreme close-up of a photo tucked into the edge of a mirror frame, then move slowly around the perimeter to frame others during the next line. They show Starlight with various combinations of the friends she has made in Ponyville.)

Twilight: (from o.s.) It was going to be a “congrats on getting a medal of honor” present, but then I was afraid it would have to be a going-away present, but now it’s an “I couldn’t be happier you’re staying” present!

(Zoom out to frame the whole thing as she catches her breath. The mirror is styled identically to the one seen in Twilight’s room during the prologue, and Starlight’s puzzled reflection appears in the center portion of the glass. A wobbly smile comes over the pinkish-violet face.)

Twilight: (from o.s.) It fits perfectly over your dresser! (Cut to them both; Starlight floats the mirror aside as her eyes water up.) I know. I measured.

Starlight: (softly) Thank you.

Twilight: I may not know what comes next for you, but whatever it is— (Starlight dries her eyes; Twilight touches a hoof to her chest.) —I promise I’ll always be there for you. (They embrace.)

Starlight: Ooooh…

Twilight: Ohhh…

(The royal sisters nod their quiet affirmation of the lessons that both have learned, and the buzz of conversation resumes as the camera zooms out from the stage. Fade to black.)

(Snap to the hall, now empty of guests and littered with trash and dirty dishes—the party is over. Pinkie hops into view, takes a good look at the mess, and comes up with a brainstorm. She disappears back the way she came in a pink blur; after a moment, she rolls an upright canister-style vacuum cleaner into view. It has a smiling face painted on one side, and the hose is attached at the point where the nose would be. Pinkie switches the rig on, causing the hose to flail all over the hall and suck up absolutely everything—junk, balloons, tables, banners, the works—with the exception of the stage. Within seconds, the place is as spotless as it was when she set up the party in the prologue. However, the vacuum is so overstuffed that it looks as if it may burst at any moment, and the face’s cheeks have swelled to ludicrous proportions.)

Pinkie: (wiping forehead) Phee-yew!

(Snap to black.)

ALL BOTTLED UP

Written by Joanna Lewis, Kristine Songco

Produced by Devon Cody

Story editing by Joanna Lewis, Kristine Songco

Supervising direction by Jim Miller

Directed by Denny Lu, Tim Stuby

Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)

Prologue

(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of the Castle of Friendship, seen through the houses on the outskirts of Ponyville at dawn. Zoom in slowly and dissolve to the kitchen, where Starlight Glimmer and Trixie are each doing their own thing at a table. The former is manipulating an icing bag in her aura to decorate a tray of small cakes, while the latter has focused on a set of salt and pepper shakers. Trixie is not wearing her wizard’s hat and cape. The slow zoom continues.)

Trixie: Come on, come on! Turn into a teacup!

(She shoots the salt shaker with a beam, but the only result is to tip it slightly off balance for a moment.)

Trixie: (trying again) No…teacup! (Again.) No! Teacup! (snarling) No!

(She glances toward the other unicorn in the room, who is assiduously going about her own task, and voices a whiny moan.)

Trixie: Starlight, I can’t put a trick that’s not working into my act. (petulantly) How come it’s not working?

Starlight: (chuckling a bit) It could be because you’re just yelling “Teacup!”— (tapping own temple) —and not picturing it in your mind.

Trixie: Oh. Yeah, that could be it.

Starlight: What does your teacup look like? What shape is it? What color?

(The performer gives it a moment’s hard thought, takes a deep breath, and lets the salt shaker have it with both barrels. This time, it does become a teacup in two shades of pink; when Trixie cracks one eye open to see the result, her whole face lights up.)

Trixie: Ooh! Starlight, I did it!

(And she follows up with an overly enthusiastic hug that causes Starlight to lose control of her icing bag and drown the cakes in the sweet stuff. Close-up of the ruined treats as Trixie’s giddy laughter rings out, then pan/tilt up to her and Starlight.)

Trixie: I did it, I did it, I did it! (She squeals as Starlight shoves her off.)

Starlight: Hey!

(Now the blue mare goes way overboard, firing beams at one piece of kitchenware after another and calling “Teacup!” on each, the camera alternating between her and the targets. Once the barrage ends, cut to a close-up of an irked Starlight.)

Trixie: (from o.s.) You know what you need. (Zoom out to frame her.) A teacup!

(Now the icing bag gets it, ending up as an inverted cup with a large reddish-pink dab on its base. The handle has been replaced by a similarly decorated tail, and four stubby legs protrude out past the rim, showing reddish-pink fur at the upper joints. Starlight gapes in utter disbelief at this creation, which lands amid the cakes and bounds among them to make an even worse mess as it yips like a puppy. After some seconds of confectionary chaos, it jumps off the table and runs off. Starlight directs a thoroughly annoyed groan at Trixie, who just grins innocently.)

Trixie: Oops! I guess I pictured a teacup poodle?

Starlight: Trixie, you ruined my tea cakes!

Trixie: I just got excited. This is the first time I did a transfiguration spell—real magic! (Laugh.) Come on. Be impressed by me.

(Zipping behind Starlight, she lowers her voice and starts to move the forelegs around to make the uncooperative baker “cheer” for her.)

Trixie: “Yay, Trixie! You’re so great at magic and having good hair!”

(To which Starlight responds by levitating her across the kitchen with a chuckle.)

Starlight: Good job, Trix. But I was baking these to give to Twilight and the girls for their friendship retreat. Pinkie Pie gave me her recipe and everything.

Trixie: Oh! You need some snacks to give to Twilight? I have got you covered.

(Cut to a close-up of a very discomfited Starlight as Trixie’s humming drifts over to her, then zoom out. The blue cake-wrecker has returned, floating a bag of pretzels in her field, and she lets this drop with a final splat into the remains of Starlight’s project.)

Trixie: Problem solved.

(She walks off, taking no notice of Starlight’s furious narrowed eyes—or the cloud of unwholesome, sparking red vapor that boils up from her horn. It retracts back in as she lets out a held breath.)

Starlight: (dryly) Not exactly.

(Fade to black.)

OPENING THEME

Act One

(Opening shot: fade in to the roof of a stopped train at the Ponyville station, steam pouring from the locomotive’s smokestack as the whistle splits the air. It is now later in the day. Pan/tilt down on the start of the next line to frame Twilight Sparkle and her friends making their way along the platform. Starlight, Trixie, and Spike are with them, Starlight toting a pair of saddlebags.)

Twilight: I am so excited for this friendship retreat. I can’t remember the last time we all got to hang out without having to save Equestria.

(Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity board the train, but Rainbow Dash hangs back for a moment.)

Rainbow: Well, we are awesome, but technically we weren’t the last ponies to save Equestria.

(Trixie beams at this, while Starlight allows herself a slightly sheepish smile.)

Twilight: I was speaking in a broader sense. (to the other three, as Rainbow boards) Are you sure you don’t want to come with us? 

Spike: Yeah. I have three new comics to get through.

Starlight: (crossing to Twilight) And I promised Trixie we’d practice more magic. It might be better if the Castle was empty, if you know what I mean.

(Twilight grins and bites back a giggle as Trixie sighs wearily.)

Trixie: Relax. If anything breaks, Starlight will just go back in time and fix it.

(A funny look from the Princess; a weak chuckle from the time traveler.)

Trixie: Kidding.

Starlight: We’ll take good care of the Castle while you’re gone. (Twilight boards the train.)

Trixie: (waving) Have fun on your friendship retreat! (whispering, to Starlight) What in Equestria is a friendship retreat, anyway? (Both keep their voices down.)

Starlight: They’re gonna bond, share laughs, and if I know them, they’re gonna sing a song.

Trixie: (giggling) We are gonna have so much more fun than them. (Both laugh.)

Starlight: Shh!

(Extreme close-up of one of Starlight’s bags as Trixie’s magic extracts the pretzels she procured as an alternate snack.)

Trixie: Twilight, wait! Starlight has something for you!

(The latter’s face falls a notch as Twilight puts her head out an open door.)

Twilight: Huh?

Starlight: (thinking fast, taking hold from Trixie) Here! I, um…brought you snacks. (The bag is floated over to Twilight.)

Twilight: (forcing a smile) Oh! How…thoughtful. Thanks. (passing it inside) We will…not get hungry on the train.

Starlight: It was supposed to be tea cakes, but… (shooting Trixie a look) …it’s a long story. Have a great time!

Twilight: You too!

(As soon as she has ducked back inside, the door slams and the train chugs away. Starlight, Trixie, and Spike head off the platform. Dissolve to an overhead shot of the Castle throne room, the central table bare. Spike sits in his small seat, reading a comic book, and the unicorns eye a book held in Starlight’s magic as she flips pages.)

Starlight: Okay, Trixie. (Floor level.) What kind of spells did you want to work on next?

Trixie: Well…every self-respecting magician has a disappearing act, so maybe we could start with that?

Starlight: Hmmm…nothing just disappears, so that’s technically a teleportation spell—and those are pretty hard. Maybe we should start with something smaller.

Trixie: (scoffing) No, no, no, no. The Great and Powerful Trixie goes big or not at all! Just tell me how you do it.

Starlight: Well, I’ve always found magic is tied to my emotions. Whatever I’m feeling fuels whatever I’m doing, and the stronger I’m feeling, the stronger the magic.

Trixie: Riiight. Like when you were so upset that cutie marks took away your friend, your magic was strong enough to enslave an entire village!

(She utterly fails to spot the very great unease that her words cause Starlight. So great, in fact, that the latter scowls and lets a gout of red mist surge from her horn before sucking it back down.)

Starlight: Yep. Thanks for bringing that up.

Trixie: See? I’m already learning. If anypony is gonna teach me how to do a disappearing spell—

Starlight: Teleportation spell.

Trixie: (scoffing) Whatever. I’m complimenting you—and me. We can do this ’cause we’re amazing! (nudging her) And magic is friendship, and stuff.

Starlight: (laughing) I guess we can give it a whirl. Now…

(Her perspective, panning across the room to stop on Spike.)

Starlight: …we just need to find you something to teleport. (He looks up with sudden alarm; cut to just behind him, framing the others.)

Trixie: Spike! How ’bout it? (He gets out a scared chuckle before Starlight cuts her off.)

Starlight: Uh, let’s pick something…I don’t know…not living?

Trixie: (grudgingly, sitting on haunches; zoom in) I mean, it won’t be as impressive, but okay. (smiling) Teach away, Mini-Twilight!

(“Mini-Twilight” just groans to herself. Wipe to a hallway filled with doors in assorted styles, along which Twilight and company are proceeding behind a young and very bored earth pony stallion. Very light yellow-brown coat; blue eyes with birdcatcher spots behind red-framed glasses; braces on buck teeth; short, two-tone blond mane/tail, the former held back by a dark blue visor; matching shirt; cutie mark of a padlock. The clothing and dull tone of his voice mark him as an employee of this facility.)

Employee: Welcome to Manehattan Escapes.

Rarity: (to Twilight) Ooh, I’m going to start with a facial, and then get my hooves done, and—

Twilight: Oh, it’s not that kind of retreat.

Rarity: Isn’t it called Manehattan Escapes because it’s a deluxe spa where you can escape all of your troubles? (They have stopped by this point.)

Twilight: Nope. It’s because we get locked in a room and we have to solve puzzles and riddles in order to escape!

(Cut to within one room, whose door opens to admit the six and their guide, and zoom out to frame more of it. The place has a “jungle temple” feel to it, and the implements for various challenges are laid out on floor and walls: treasure chests, central platform bearing a wheel studded with gems, nets filled with rocks to act as pulley counterweights, and so on. The employee turns to a clipboard hanging by the door.)

Employee: The clues will lead you to a key to get out.

Twilight: (enthusiastically) Team building! (Discontented sighs from all but Applejack.)

Applejack: Come on, girls. This could be fun.

Twilight: “Could be”? Some of the brightest minds in Equestria put together these puzzles!

Fluttershy: I’m just happy to be with all of you. (Pinkie zips over to her and Applejack.)

Pinkie: Me too! (forelegs around both their shoulders) I’m not great at solving riddles, but I’m super-great at cheering other ponies on while they do it.

(Away she goes, returning instantly with a pink/yellow bow in her mane, small pompoms in those two colors around her neck, and two big yellow ones on her forelegs. Seen in close-up for the moment, she gives a view of a blue skirt with yellow pleats.)

Pinkie: Go, us! (Whoop.) Woo-hoo!

Rarity: Yes, yes, woo-hoo. (Clear throat.) But just so we know, exactly how long will we be locked in here?

Employee: (eyeing clipboard) A group of griffons set the record for the fastest escape. It only took them an hour.

Rainbow: Hah! Griffons barely like each other. We’re basically the poster-ponies for amazing friendships. (She zips down into his face.) So get your quill ready, bub. You’re gonna have to write down a new record!

(Wipe to Starlight and Trixie in the throne room, Starlight levitating an apple up to rest it on the table.)

Starlight: If you master this spell before the girls get back, you’d be setting some kind of record.

Trixie: Challenge accepted.

Starlight: Okay. What you want to do is concentrate on the object that you want to teleport.

(Spike, still reading his comics, looks up to find that the fruit is a bit too close for comfort.)

Spike: Yeah, I’m gonna go…

(Zip out of his seat; close-up of him standing before a set of doors.)

Spike: …all the way over here.

(Zoom out quickly to put him at the opposite end of the corridor outside the throne room. The camera stops on the unicorns.)

Trixie: Concentrate on teleporting. Got it! (Horn fires up.) Doing the spell!

Starlight: (panicked) No, Trix, wait! Not just—

(Here it comes—but the aim is just a hair off and the beam hits the table instead. It disappears to expose the star-marked gold circle that had been visible in the center of the floor before Twilight and company triggered the table’s appearance in “The Cutie Map.” The apple, intact, falls onto this and bounces to a stop between the two sets of hooves; after an agonizingly long beat of dead silence, Starlight moans and collapses in a dead faint.)

Trixie: (weakly) Ta-da!

(Fade to black.)

Act Two

(Opening shot: fade in to an overhead shot of the throne room. Starlight paces the floor as Trixie lounges in Twilight’s seat.)

Starlight: (groaning, hyperventilating) No, no, no, no, no, no, no! You made Twilight’s friendship map disappear!

Trixie: (clearing throat) Teleport.

Starlight: (ticked off) Really?

(Having had her own correction thrown back at her does little to improve her mood.)

Trixie: Well, it was behind the apple. It was bound to happen. On the plus side, my magic is getting better. I made a whole table go poof! That was pretty impressive. (Starlight gets in her face.)

Starlight: Trixie, we have to get that map back.

Trixie: We’ll find it, no big deal.

Starlight: (pacing a bit) Twilight’s never gonna trust me to be alone in this castle again! What were you thinking?

Trixie: “Teleport,” like you told me to.

(That stormy red murk begins to issue from Starlight’s horn all over again.)

Starlight: No, you’re supposed to concentrate on the object, not just teleporting!

Trixie: (scoffing) Well, gee. You probably shoulda told me all the steps before you let me do the spell.

Starlight: (fed up, hoof to face) I tried.

(She finally notices the miniature tempest above her head and gasps in shock.)

Starlight: I…need a minute.

(Out she goes at a gallop, Trixie taking a moment to catch on to the departure. Cut to a close-up of a stack of the teacups made by the overeager mare in the prologue and zoom out/tilt down to frame Spike at the kitchen sink next to them. He has donned a pair of yellow rubber gloves to get at the job of washing all this lot. The door bursts open and Starlight races in and o.s., a steady stream of pots, pans, and dishes flying back from that direction to mark her ransacking of the cabinets.)

Spike: Hey. Are you okay? (Cut to frame both.)

Starlight: I will be— (She floats a corked, empty bottle down from one shelf.) —once I cast a spell to contain my anger in this bottle. (A new angle picks out the stool Spike is using to reach the sink.)

Spike: Wait, what?

Starlight: (pointing above herself) Do you see this storm cloud? This has never happened before! All this magical energy has to go somewhere, and if I’m not using it to fight a-a magical duel or-or bend my friends’ wills to obey my every command…

Spike: Hah. I remember that.

Starlight: (needled) The point is, I don’t know what my magic’s going to do, so I’m hoping if I bottle up my anger, I won’t do who knows what to Trixie.

Spike: Are you sure that’s a good idea?

Starlight: What choice do I have? I’ve got to get that map back, and…I don’t want to lose Trixie. (Zoom in on her.) If she knew what I was thinking right now, she’d probably never talk to me again.

Spike: (uncertainly, pulling one glove off) Okay. You do what you need to do. I’ll see if I can find the map somewhere in the Castle.

(He jumps down off his stool. Close-up of the bottle being set on a table and the cork being pulled, then zoom out to frame Starlight. Ever so gingerly, she uses a spell to drain the entire red cloud into the vessel and stopper it, then smiles with relief. Close-up of her saddlebags hanging on the wall; her field opens one flap, lowers the full bottle in, seals the flap, and pulls the pair away and onto her back. Her determination and confidence restored, she trots away.)

(Cut to Trixie, idly using her magic to spin the core of the apple she was supposed to teleport—the rest of it has evidently become a snack.)

Starlight: (from o.s.) Trixie! (Zoom out; she is at the throne room doors.)

Trixie: Oh, there you are! (Core thrown away.) For a minute, I didn’t think you were coming back and that you might be upset with me for some weird reason. (Float up a napkin.) But then I remembered—you never get mad at me.

(As she wipes her mouth, Starlight lets go with a subdued snarl and a red cloud of anger gushes up from her horn. The cork is pulled from the bottle in her saddlebags just long enough to vacuum it all in, and she sighs with relief as Trixie lets the napkin drop.)

Starlight: (chuckling) Nope, not mad at all. So, the map is probably in the last place you were thinking of. Where was that?

Trixie: Ooh, great question! I wish you’d asked it, like, right after I did the spell. I don’t remember anymore.

(Another snarl, another cloud, another Hoover job.)

Starlight: (trying to keep her cool) No worries. We’ll just take a walk around town. Maybe that’ll jog your memory.

Trixie: (hopping off throne) Okay, that sounds fun! (Gasp; cross to Starlight.) Ooh!

Starlight: Did you remember?

Trixie: Nope— (passing her) —but I did think we could stop for cinnamon nuts while we’re out.

Starlight: (horn boiling over) Cinnamon nuts?

(This batch goes in the bottle too, accompanied by an almost inaudible growl, and she forces herself to smile.)

Starlight: That’s a good idea.

Trixie: Yes! I’ve been craving something sweet since I couldn’t have any tea cakes this morning.

(She finishes this line in a sweetly accusatory tone and moves toward the exit, missing a heavy sigh from Starlight.)

Starlight: (to herself, following) You got this, Starlight.

(Dissolve to a patch of heavy vegetation within the escape room, against which Pinkie pops up in close-up with her cheerleader gear still firmly in place.)

Pinkie: Woo-hoo! Go, Twilight!

(Longer shot of the entire room, framing her outfit in full: the blue skirt, a sleeveless yellow top edged in pink, bullhorn hanging around neck, pink/gold tail ribbon to match the one in her mane. As Twilight and Applejack study a floor panel that contains a mostly-assembled gem mosaic, Fluttershy, Rainbow, and Rarity pay attention to a fabric “waterfall” studded with smaller stones that has one missing.)

Pinkie: You can do it!

(Close-up of the panel as Twilight floats one last piece down to fill in the gap; as soon as it makes contact, the whole thing slides apart in two pieces to expose a purple gem whose shape matches that of the outline of the missing one on the waterfall. The egghead Princess floats it up as Pinkie gambols across and the panel closes.)

Pinkie: Woo-hoo!

Applejack: Hoo-wee! You solved that triangle-y thing mighty fast. (toward the waterfall) Uh, does anypony need a purple jewel?

Rarity: Ooh! Plum or boysenberry?

Applejack: Don’t both those fruits mean “purple”? (Close-up of Rarity.)

Rarity: Yes, but one’s a lovely purple and one’s…well, icky.

(A frustrated groan from the o.s. Rainbow; zoom out to frame all six. Pinkie is out of uniform.)

Rainbow: Just put the gem in! We’re trying to set a record here!

(Taking it in her teeth, Fluttershy flaps her way up to the empty spot and sets it in place, triggering a mechanism that reels the fabric up into the wall. Behind it is a scroll on a ledge. Pinkie darts away and immediately returns suited up to cheer again.)

Pinkie:         Yay!

We solved another clue,

’Cause our friendship is so true!

Yay, us! Woo-hoo!

(She throws an ecstatic grin to the camera before the view dissolves to a close-up of an extremely put-out Starlight, her forelock having gone somewhat limp. Behind her, the display cases of a jewelry store can be seen; pan to follow her glare over to Trixie, who is obliviously pouring snacks into her mouth from a levitated bag. As she chews over the lot, the camera cuts to frame more of the establishment and the mare in charge steps out from a back room. Seen from the back up for the moment, she is a blue-gray earth pony with a curly, two-tone mane/tail in light gray and medium green eyes. The mane is held back by a dark green eyeshade and a gold band, she wears small jeweled earrings, and portions of a dark gray scarf and brown upper garment can be seen. The camera angle and distance obscure her cutie mark.)

Jeweler: Well, hello, fillies. Uh, how can I help you?

(A close-up picks out the brown garment as a vest, under which the edge of a light yellow blouse trimmed in light blue is visible, and the mark as a pair of earrings. The tail is bound in a gold band of its own.)

Jeweler: Oh! Are those cinnamon nuts?

Trixie: (mouth empty) Mmm, yes! (pointing through the open front door) I got them from the cart outside. They’re delicious!

(The cart in question has Bulk Biceps harnessed to it, in a red apron, white shirt collar, and red/white paper cap. She maneuvers the bag toward the jeweler.)

Trixie: Do you want some?

Starlight: (hastily, slinging it aside) Have you seen a big table? (Trixie brings it back.) Magical map on it, sometimes glowing cutie marks shoot out?

Jeweler: A big t—? No, no! Uh, why in Equestria would something like that be in here? (Chuckle.)

Trixie: Well, I cast a pretty amazing spell that transported it to the last place I was thinking of. But I might have been thinking of how I’d treat myself to a nice brooch instead.

[Animation goof: Starlight’s forelock briefly resumes its normal appearance during this exchange.]

(On the end of this line, cut to her perspective of one in the case right in front of the jeweler as she points to it. The camera then tilts up to the blue-gray mare.)

Jeweler: Ah, well, no huge table here. Uh…are you still interested in that brooch? (Back to Trixie.)

Trixie: Sure!

Starlight: No!

(With a glare that could etch glass, she magically drags the showboating unicorn away, nuts and all. They settle down on the other side of the shop floor, Starlight’s entire mane now going limp.)

Starlight: We don’t have time for this! (Trixie eats.) Twilight and the girls are gonna be back soon!

(Her horn storms up on the end of this, so she lets her magic bottle do its thing to clear the air and collects herself.)

Starlight: But I’m not upset. What’s our next stop?

(Wipe to a long shot of the main barn at Sweet Apple Acres, zooming in slowly. The two mares are at the side door to meet with Granny Smith, who has opened its top half for them; close-up. Starlight’s mane has regained its usual curl, though her forelock has not, and Trixie keeps chowing down.)

Granny: Nope, I ain’t seen it.

Starlight: Are you sure? It’s really, really important that we find it. And it might be here because somepony was craving apples.

(She fires another hard look at Trixie on “somepony” as the red haze swirls up afresh. Into the bottle it goes.)

Trixie: I’m still craving them. They’d go so well with cinnamon nuts. (She floats the bag over to Granny, who sniffs deeply.)

Granny: Oh, them nuts sure do smell good. (Chuckle.)

Starlight: (magically pitching it away) Granny Smith, please! The table?

Granny: (mumbling a bit) Huh? Well, my eyes ain’t what they used to be, but I’d know for sure if a big old table done appear out of thin air.

(Starlight just groans and plods away, Trixie following. Dissolve to a patch of earth near the base of a tree somewhere in Ponyville. The “teacup poodle” Trixie created in the prologue bounds out from the roots with a yip and scrambles down the block, the camera panning to follow it and stopping on Bulk and his cart across the street. He is out of the harness and checking over his latest batch of treats. Zoom out to a longer shot as the mares walk past from the opposite direction, Trixie trotting brightly ahead; now all of Starlight’s mane/tail are hanging listlessly off both ends of her, matching her gait and demeanor perfectly.)

Trixie: Darn! I could’ve sworn it’d be at the ice cream parlor, because it was warm in the Castle and I thought I wanted ice cream and— (Stop; Starlight catches up.) —ooh! Maybe we should check out the Crystal Empire ’cause Twilight’s castle is made out of crystal, so I totally had crystals on my mind.

(Here comes the cloud again, which Starlight wearily siphons into her container.)

Starlight: (trudging off) Okay, we better start moving if we want to make it to the Crystal Empire.

Trixie: Are you okay, Starlight? (She catches up.) Because you seem a little… (Sigh.) …what’s the word?

(She finishes the thought by uttering an inarticulate, tongue-lolling sound meant to convey a general feeling of glumness. It stops the disheveled unicorn in her tracks; Trixie pauses as well, and this time she gets a good clear view of Starlight snarling and venting a cloud of anger that ends up in her bottle.)

Starlight: (woodenly) Nope. I am great.

Trixie: Did your saddlebag just glow?

Starlight: (scared) No.

Trixie: (trying to levitate it off) Gimme!

Starlight: No…

Trixie: Give it here!

Starlight: Don’t… (She pulls back on the bag.)

Trixie: What’s in this?

Bulk: CINNAMON NUTS!!

(Here comes the jeweler to buy a batch; a moment later Granny is standing with her.)

Granny: Ooh, I have had a hankerin’ for these all day.

Jeweler: Uh, me too, ever since that Trixie came by with them.

(The tug-of-war over Starlight’s saddlebags continues for another moment until one heave on her part yanks them out of Trixie’s grip and sends her tumbling across the cobbles and o.s. A camera-shaking thud marks her impact with part of the architecture, and the action shifts to slow motion as the bottle tumbles through the air. It shatters at the hooves of the three ponies at the cart, normal speed resuming, and the scarlet miasma of Starlight’s enmity toward Trixie wells up among them. The pinkish-violet mare straightens up with a choked gasp of terror, seeing the swirls absorb into their bodies and turn all six eyes to a pupil-less, glowing red. The jeweler, having just set her teeth into a bag of nuts to take it from Bulk’s own, lets it drop to the ground, and all three faces harden into expressions of clear hostility. The ponies advance slowly across the street toward the dazed, supine Trixie and loom over her; shaking her head clear, she stands up and looks from one to another with purest bewilderment.)

Trixie: (small voice) Um, why are they looking at me like that?

(Fade to black.)

Act Three

(Opening shot: fade in to an overhead shot of the face-off and zoom in slowly. Starlight has fetched up near the tree and is watching with deep worry. At ground level, Bulk snarls quietly and Granny smacks her front hooves together, ready for a scrap, as Trixie gets partway upright.)

Trixie: Whoa!

Granny: You ruined my tea cakes!

Trixie: What?

(She drops to her haunches and scrambles frantically backwards, only to run into the jeweler.)

Jeweler: You just had to give Twilight those smelly pretzels!

Trixie: Were they your pretzels? I don’t understand.

Bulk: YOU DON’T PAY ATTENTION WHEN I’M TRYING TO TEACH YOU!!

Trixie: (diving through his legs and away) Starlight, can you help me, please?

(Wipe to a close-up of a smiling Applejack in the escape room.)

Applejack: (backing to one side, pointing to a patch of wall) Uh, Twilight, can you help me, please?

(Twilight promptly wraps those stones in her power and pulls them away. Behind them are three jewels—triangle, square, circle—set into the masonry. Rainbow flies over for a look.)

Rainbow: I’ve seen those symbols! (She flashes across to the gem wheel on the central platform.) Over here!

(Pinkie is already standing next to it, out of her cheerleader garb.)

Pinkie: You can do it!

(One violet, one pink, and one blue hoof each press the section for a different one of the three gems, causing them to glow and trip a mechanism. Pan from them to Fluttershy and Rarity, next to a trapdoor in the floor.)

Rarity: Almost there!

(It drops open so that a small pedestal can emerge up into view, bearing a key.)

Fluttershy: I’ve got the key!

(Snatch it in teeth. Fly across the room. Slot it into the keyhole on the door through which they entered this room. Twilight pulls into a hover.)

Twilight: This is it! (landing) I’m so impressed. (Rainbow joins them.)

Rainbow: I’m not. I knew we were the best!

(Wipe to a Ponyville street; Granny stands up into view in close-up.)

Granny: You’re the worst! (Camera shift: she is facing down Trixie.)

Trixie: That seems harsh.

Granny: (swinging at her) Hai-yah!

Trixie: (ducking) Whoa! (sprinting away) STARLIGHT!!

(Cut to her, slumped dejectedly on her hooves with head nearly brushing the ground. Trixie races by.)

Trixie: I don’t know what’s happening! (now o.s; the other three charge after her) Starlight, help me!

(The exhausted unicorn tries to get a spell going, but it fizzles out in a weak spark.)

Starlight: I’m glad Twilight isn’t here to see this.

(Wipe to a close-up of a proudly smiling Twilight.)

Upbeat mandolin melody with bass drum and pizzicato strings, fast 4 (B flat major)

Twilight: I wish that Starlight was here to see how strong friendships can be when we trust each other and work together. You’ve all taught me so much.

Mandolin out; electric guitar/bass, percussion in

Twilight:                Friendship used to make me so queasy, queasy

(The room behind her fades to black and the other five each train spotlights on her.)

                        But you made it all so easy, easy

(She sings against a backdrop of question marks and fades to a silhouette, with a thought bubble appearing in her head that contains all six mares.)

                        Now I don’t have to say what I’m thinking

(Zoom in on this; a group hug commences.)

                        You already know without even blinking

Pizzicato strings, electric guitar out; mandolin, acoustic guitar, bowed strings in

(A rain of apples changes the scene to a path in Sweet Apple Acres; Applejack pulls a loaded cart and all others but Rainbow put their heads up among the fruit.)

Applejack:                 You girls are the apple of my eye

(Rainbow loops around them and past the camera, the view changing to a patch of sky.)

Rainbow:                The race that doesn’t end in a tie

Piano in

 (A checkered flag waves past; now Pinkie stands in close-up, holding a plate of fried goodness.)

Pinkie:                 You are the funnel cake at my fair

(Zoom in on it; a cherry drops onto it, splattering whipped cream that clears to show Fluttershy being hugged by her bear friend Harry.)

Fluttershy:                 The warm hug of a fuzzy bear

(All six appear together, trotting through a countryside that displays a pronounced curve as if they were on a very small planet. The seasons change through an entire year, their accessories shifting accordingly.)

Piano out; lyrics echo slightly

All:                        Best friends until the end of time

(They cluster against a backdrop of hearts, then advance toward the camera and peel off to alternating sides.)

                        We’ll have each other’s backs and let our true selves shine

Stoptime; echo ends

(Panels showing Twilight and Rainbow slide in from opposite sides to fill the screen, which then splits four more times to show all six.)

                        And that’s because everything we need is all right here

(The panels slide apart; now they are in a pyramid formation, with Twilight at the top.)

                        When we’re with our team

Stoptime ends; original instrumentation resumes

(Wipe to Trixie fleeing madly past a dispirited Starlight across a Ponyville street to stay just ahead of her three crazed pursuers.)

Trixie: STARLIGHT!! (climbing a tree) A spark of magic could be very helpful right about now!

Starlight: (straining, then giving up) I can’t.

Mandolin out; electric guitar/bass, percussion, pizzicato strings in

(Wipe to a close-up of Twilight walking ahead; Applejack and Pinkie fall in to either side.)

Twilight:                I simply can’t imagine there’d be a day

(Zoom out; all six march in a line, each on a different color of a rainbow.)

                        Where I wouldn’t want to be walking your way

(A quill sweeps past, the view wiping behind it to show her marking off the last box on a checklist that shows the faces of the other five.)

                        Whatever new problems there may be, may be

(It is swept away; now she fits the key to leave the escape room into a door, opens it, and swings it open so the other five can enter in a happy mass.)

                        A friendship is always the door with a key

Pizzicato strings, electric guitar out; mandolin, acoustic guitar, bowed strings in

(Rarity trots in place atop one of five diamonds, each showing the face of a different friend.)

Rarity:                You are the jewels in my friendship crown

(Twilight fires a spell into the night sky, setting off fireworks that leave all six faces floating among the stars.)

Twilight:                The sparks that make my world go ’round

Piano in

(The pyrotechnic images sing next.)

All:                        We bring the best out, that’s our goal

(A blue eye rises into view in extreme close-up; it is Pinkie’s, magnified by a spyglass, and the camera zooms out to put the group on a small boat.)

                        There’s no telling how far we’ll go

Piano out; lyrics echo slightly

(A wave washes over the screen and shifts the view back to the small-planet trot of the previous chorus. The visuals accompanying this chorus are identical to the first one.)

All:                        Best friends until the end of time

                        We’ll have each other’s backs and let our true selves shine

Stoptime; echo ends

                        And that’s because everything we need is all right here

                        When we’re with our team

Song ends

(The escape room fades into view behind them as they hold the pyramid pose and the last chord dies away. Behind them, a hidden wall panel slides open to show the employee in a control room behind a window. A microphone rests on the desk before him.)

Employee: (amplified) That was lovely. But, um… (Close-up; he is heard normally.) …you know the game isn’t over until you turn that key?

(Pan/tilt down quickly to an extreme close-up of it, still hanging in the door’s lock, then cut back to the six mares. Rainbow yelps in sudden fright and charges toward the door, leaving the other five to hit the floor in a pile, and clamps her teeth on the key to turn it. An electronic chime rings out.)

Rainbow: Did we do it?

(The control room again; the employee taps a button and looks at a wall clock behind him.)

Employee: So close. (The room again; Rainbow returns to the others. Voice amplified.) You missed the griffon record by two seconds. (Control room again; normal.) Probably shouldn’t have sung that song.

Rainbow: Aw, nuts!

(Wipe to the upper portion of Bulk’s nut cart; it rises in the red-eyed meathead’s grip.)

Bulk: AWWWWWWWWWW… (He lets fly toward Trixie.)

Trixie: NUTS!!

(She kicks her hooves into overdrive and disappears between two houses a fraction of a second before the rig crashes down there. In close-up, she staggers woozily around the corner and back into view, taking a moment to shake her head clear as loose nuts rain down around her.)

Bulk: (galloping to her) YOU JUST DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO!! (She peels out again…)

Trixie: Starlight! (…but skids to a stop before Granny and drops to her haunches.)

Granny: (slightly short of breath) And you don’t always have to bring up my darned past!

Trixie: I didn’t know you had one, Granny Smith!

(With an inarticulate, mumbling cry, the Apple matriarch whips out a purse and throws it to the ground—a weak attempt at assault. Trixie stands up at the sound of a shout from the o.s. jeweler, whose eyeshade whistles into view; she ducks to avoid it as it arcs back like a boomerang, and the blue-gray mare catches it and settles it back on her head.)

Jeweler: I just can’t believe you sometimes! You make me so mad!

Trixie: I barely even know you! (as they all close in) I don’t understand why you’re all so mad at me!

Starlight: (from o.s., tiredly) They’re not.

(Zoom out slightly to put her in the fore.)

Starlight: I am.

(She is very surprised to find a white spark with a red corona flaring up at the tip of her horn. The red mist pours from the eyes of the three affected by it, coalescing into a single large cloud, and they return to their normal appearances and behaviors. Starlight’s mane and tail regain their usual curl.)

Trixie: (floored) You are?

Starlight: (sighing, but gaining strength) I’m really…mad at you. You lost Twilight’s map table. You make jokes like it’s no big deal. It’s like you don’t even care you could get me in a lot of trouble. If we can’t find that table, Twilight’s never going to trust me again! And the worst part is, you didn’t even say you were sorry!

Trixie: I…I-I’m sorry. I had no idea you felt that way.

Starlight: Yeah! I do!

(One heavy sigh causes the cloud to dissipate and the spark on her horn to wink out; she continues in a calmer tone.)

Starlight: But to be fair, I don’t know how you could’ve known. I did a spell that bottled up my anger, but when the bottle broke, it infected these three. I’m really sorry. I used magic so I wouldn’t use magic. I should’ve guessed that would backfire. (Close-up of the jeweler, smiling.)

Jeweler: Oh, that’s all right. It was a slow day.

Granny: (from o.s.) Yeah… (Pan across Bulk to her.) …I was gonna get my dentures cleaned ’fore y’all showed up.

(She cranks off a grin that shows them to be in remarkably good shape as it is. After a beat of silence, Bulk yelps in alarm.)

Bulk: (galloping away) OH, NO!! (Zoom out; he brings back the remains of…) MY NUT CART!!

(He drops the wreckage to the street; cut to Starlight. With barely a pause, she works up a spell that not only reassembles it good as new but also repacks all the spilled snacks.)

Bulk: YAY!! MY NUT CART!!

Jeweler: (from o.s.) Uh, hang on. (Cut to her and Granny.) Don’t you work at the spa? (He sucks in a huge, panicked gasp.)

Bulk: I’M LATE FOR MY OTHER JOB!! (suddenly calm; he shrugs) What? I wear many hats.

(He proceeds to trundle the cart away, and the other two victims depart to get back to their daily business, leaving Starlight and Trixie alone in the street.)

Trixie: Not gonna lie. Hearing you and those random ponies say all those terrible things about me wasn’t easy, but I needed to hear it. Why didn’t you just tell me how you felt?

Starlight: I didn’t want to lose you as a friend.

Trixie: (smiling, touching Starlight’s shoulder) Pfft! Come on. (Starlight smiles as well.) It’d take a lot more than that to lose me. Our friendship is stronger than a few angry words.

Starlight: And a magical temper tantrum?

Trixie: Listen. I’d take that over the boring pony you were becoming any day. The Starlight I love is passionate, lively, and yeah, sometimes angry. Those are my favorite parts of you—that, and the fact that you forgive me every time.

(Starlight touches Trixie’s chest with a giggle.)

Starlight: I’ll forgive you if you forgive me. (They embrace.)

Trixie: Deal. (Gasp.) I remember what I was thinking about!

(Wipe to the waiting area of the Ponyville Spa; the door swings open to let the pair in. The camera angle frames a portion of a very familiar, flat, crystalline surface directly in front of them, and part of a mare’s forelegs and towel-wrapped head stretch into view on it. A zoom out tells it all: the missing table has wound up here and is being used by Bulk to give a massage to the client lying on it. He has donned the headband and jersey he used while on masseur duty in “Castle Sweet Castle” and “Applejack’s ‘Day’ Off.”)

Starlight: You’re kidding me.

Trixie: There’s more to it than that. I was thinking about how glad I am to have met you, and I remembered our first meeting—here at the Ponyville Spa. (horn glowing) And now I just have to teleport it back.

Starlight: (tackling her) No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

(Recall that the meeting in question occurred in “No Second Prances.” The tackle sends both of them o.s., and a hearty crash marks their wipeout. Bulk just shrugs his massive shoulders and goes right back to his massage.)

(Wipe to the throne room. The table is being lowered slowly back into place under Starlight’s control, with Trixie watching and Spike supervising. Close-up of him.)

Spike: A little to the left…Oh! Now rotate it just a hair…

(The doors behind him swing open so that Twilight and company can come in, scaring him a bit.)

Twilight: Hey, girls. How’d it go?

(Starlight and Trixie look in her direction, the former losing her concentration so that the table thuds perfectly into place.)

Starlight, Trixie: (hastily) Nothing!

Twilight: (puzzled) What?

Starlight: Uh, let’s just say I learned a friendship lesson while you were gone.

Twilight: (smiling) You’ve barely graduated, and you’re already taking initiative! (wiping away sudden tears) Oh…so proud.

Fluttershy: We learned about team building, and problem solving…

Pinkie: And when not to sing songs!

Rarity: We certainly had a good time, but I really was looking forward to a spa day—and the Ponyville Spa’s still open. Anyone?

(She gets a round of agreement from the other five as Spike crosses to them. All eyes turn in the direction of Starlight and Trixie; cut to them. They trade disbelieving looks before smiling back at the bunch.)

Trixie: We’ll meet you there.

(She waits until the sound of exiting hooves has begun to fade before addressing Starlight.)

Trixie: Quick! Do you have a spell that will make the spa ponies forget that the map table was there?

Starlight: Haven’t you learned anything about using magic to solve your problems?

Trixie: (slyly) No. If we learned that lesson, how will we ever have fun?

(The two partners in mayhem share a giggle. Dissolve to a long shot of the Castle in late afternoon, zooming out slowly through the houses on the outskirts of Ponyville, and fade to black.)

A FLURRY OF EMOTIONS

Written by Sammie Crowley, Whitney Wetta

Produced by Devon Cody

Story editing by Joanna Lewis, Kristine Songco

Supervising direction by Jim Miller

Directed by Denny Lu, Tim Stuby

Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)

Note:                   Sammie Crowley’s last name is misspelled as “Crawley” in the opening credits.

Prologue

(Opening shot: fade in to the uppermost spire of the Castle of Friendship during the day and tilt down to ground level. A mare’s voice speaks up.)

Mare voice: Oh, Princess Twilight…

(Overhead view of a corridor within; Twilight Sparkle and the speaker—Nurse Redheart—walk along its length, trailed by Spike with a quill and lengthy scroll at the ready.)

Redheart: …everypony at the hospital is so excited for your visit today.

(Head-on view. The symbol on her white cap has changed slightly from her previous appearances; now it is a white cross with a red heart at its center and an additional heart tucked in at each outside corner.)

Twilight: I’m never too busy to visit sick foals. (Close-up of the mares.) I can’t believe a whole class just came down with the horsey hives.

Redheart: On school picture day, too.

(The close-up shows that Redheart’s cutie mark has also changed to match the new design on her cap. A camera flash changes the scene to a photo taken within the Ponyville schoolhouse. Two rows of students covered with red spots, only one foal grinning for the camera as the others itch and mope and cough, and Cheerilee trying to keep her distance from them at one end. A second flash returns the scene to the corridor; now Twilight, Redheart, and Spike have reached the entrance hall, and they stop on the following.)

Redheart: Oh, the poor dears really do need cheering up.

Twilight: We’ll do our best. We’ll bring snacks, I’ll read to them, and get them gifts!

Spike: Food and presents always cheer me up.

(Nods pass among the three heads, and they start off again. Cut to just outside the front doors as Twilight’s magic swings them open so Redheart can trot down the steps.)

Twilight: (waving, with Spike) We’ll see you soon! (Inside; the doors close again.)

Spike: (skimming scroll; it is a checklist) Okay. If we want to be at the hospital by lunch, then we have three hours to buy get-well presents, borrow a book from the schoolhouse, and pick up treats.
Twilight: It’s a lot, but if we stick to the schedule, I know we can get it all done.

Spike: (not entirely convinced) Yeah. Knock on wood.

(He reaches toward the doors to do so, but a knock from outside sounds off before the scaly knuckles can make contact. Twilight, equally flummoxed, let her field pull the doors open again and finds a patch of empty air beyond them. It is quickly filled by a badly disheveled and fatigued Princess Cadence and Shining Armor, who somehow manage to smile, and Flurry Heart pops up between them in a carriage under Cadence’s control.)

Shining: Surprise!

(Flurry gurgles happily; Twilight gets out an openmouthed gasp of shock and Spike’s jaw drops before they too break out in smiles.)

Twilight: Oh, my gosh!

(The royal family crosses the threshold and she leans down to nuzzle the baby.)

Twilight: How’s my favorite niece? Oooh… (Shining crouches down behind Flurry.)

Shining: (high-pitched, “speaking” for Flurry in baby talk) I’m good. I was hoping my favowite aunt could watch me for a few hours.

Cadence: I hope you’re not too busy.

Spike: (pointing at checklist) Actually, we kind of are— (Twilight corks his mouth with a hoof.)

Twilight: Busy? Pssh! Would the best aunt ever be too busy to spend time with this adorable little one?

(She grins as Spike holds up the document and points emphatically at one of the items on it.)

Twilight: (smugly) No.

(Fade to black.)

OPENING THEME

Act One

(Opening shot: fade in to a close-up of Twilight planting kisses all over Flurry’s cheek, to the latter’s great enjoyment, then floating her up to blow a raspberry on her belly. Zoom out to frame all five.)

Twilight: (singsong) Flurry, I’ve got a surprise for you.

(Settling Flurry on her back, she trots across the entrance hall and stops at a closed set of doors. Here the toddler is floated down to the floor, losing traction on the slick surface and ending up spreadeagle, but she is quick to get up and trot eagerly in place.) 

Twilight: Just a couple of toys that reminded me of Flurry.

(As soon as she opens one door with her magic, an avalanche of wrapped gifts pours out to bury Flurry. Twilight gasps in fright and quickly levitates her up from the tumble, but the youngster just laughs it off as she is set down again so she can start poking at a box.)

Twilight: I’m excited to show you I’ve done some shopping for Flurry Heart.

Cadence: (laughing) You’re so sweet! You didn’t have to do all that. (Close-up of Twilight.)

Twilight: I know, but I can’t help myself. Best aunt ever!

(Pan/tilt down to Flurry, who sets down the box she has been playing with as Twilight floats a different one to her and shakes it.)

Twilight: (from o.s.) Open this one, Flurry.

(The lid is pulled off to reveal two teddy bears, one blue and one pink, and the recipient gleefully plucks up the blue one and gives a playful little snarl.)

Twilight: Exactly! (floating the pink one up) They’re bears! (winking) You’re one smart cookie.

(Pan to follow it in her hold across the entrance hall, then cut to a bookcase as it touches down on top. With her adding sound effects from o.s., it gracefully climbs and leaps among the tomes scattered up here. Back to Flurry, who applauds and giggles before exerting her magic over the blue one. It describes a rather less graceful journey across the top of the bookcase, which ends with it knocking a volume askew. Pink then cruises by to strike a final pose, followed by Blue hanging upside down and lazily spinning its way through. Flurry laughs as Twilight makes Pink touch down and bound away like a ballet dancer, then clumsily duplicates the move herself and follows Twilight across the hall.)

Shining: (calling after them) We’ll just put Flurry’s things over here, Twilie! (Twilight returns on the end of this, floating Pink along.)

Twilight: (distracted) Uh-huh. Totally.

(Blue drifts toward her, accompanied by laughter from the o.s. Flurry. Now the proud parents take turns levitating packages of the items they name.)

Shining: Mashed peas. Her favorite.

Cadence: And diapers. Uh, extra diapers. Oh, and backup extra diapers.

Shining: Mashed peas. Her favorite. (Pause.) Wait. Did I say that already?

(Cut to a veritable rockslide of baby food jars and diaper packs, one of which shifts and falls away to expose Spike at the heart of the tumble. He no longer has the quill and checklist.)

Spike: (dryly) Uh-huh.

Shining: Oops.

Cadence: Oh! (shifting a stuffed snail toy forward) And this is the most important thing of all. Her whammy. (It lands in Spike’s hands.)

Shining: I take it Flurry named it?

Cadence: Yep. If she gets fussy— (Shining nods.) —just give her the whammy and she’ll calm right down.

Shining: You getting all this, Twilie?

(Who is currently occupied in helping her niece make the two bears dance.)

Twilight: Whammy. Got it. (She floats Flurry onto her back and crosses to them.) Where are you guys headed, anyway?

Shining: You remember my friend from the Royal Guard, Spearhead?

(A very confused look passes between the violet Princess and her number-one assistant.)

Spike: Honestly, all of your friends’ names are very similar.

Shining: Well, he has a pop-up art show at the Ponyville Café, and we decided to go at the last minute.

Cadence: We’re not exactly art enthusiasts, but we could really use a night out.

Spike: (skeptically) You mean “day”?

Cadence: (hastily) That’s what I said. Isn’t that what I said?

Spike: (shaking head; Twilight nods hers) Mmm…mm-mmm.

Cadence: (to Twilight) Either way, are you sure you can watch her?

(Twilight beams even as Flurry climbs up to chew on one ear.)

Spike: (pulling out/tapping checklist) Ah-ah-ah.

(His boss’s dejected moan is no match for Flurry dropping down to nestle just above one wing.)

Twilight: (smiling) Have no fear. (winking) The best aunt ever has everything under control!

(As Spike scowls to himself, a reassured Cadence uses her aura to maneuver Flurry over so she and Shining can each kiss one cheek; she then releases her grip and the baby flies back.)

Shining: Thanks again, Twilie. (He and Cadence exit; Flurry is on Twilight’s back again.)

Spike: (to Twilight) Okay, let’s grab that warmy thing and go.

(One swift flash of Flurry’s magic teleports her around for a look point-blank in her aunt’s face. She shakes her head and growls while levitating the blue teddy bear up from the floor; Twilight has the pink one.)

Twilight: Ohhh, you want to pretend we’re the bears. (Flurry nods.) I suppose we have time for a quick game.

(She moves off, Flurry landing to ride on her back; pan slightly to a vexed Spike holding the rolled-up checklist. He is no longer carrying the “whammy” snail toy by this point.)

Spike: Do we, though? (Flurry jumps off, dropping Blue; he drops the list.)

Twilight: Hey! All right… (Pretend roar; race off after her; drop Pink.) I’m gonna get you!

(The baby dragon starts after them, but steps on Pink and pitches face-first to the carpet. He props his chin on one palm with a resigned little moan—“this will not end well.” By the time he regains his footing, the chase has taken to the air.)

Spike: You should catch her soon, ’cause we’ve got lots to do! (holding up list) Horsey-hives-covered foals counting on us, remember?

Twilight: Got it! (Another playful roar; she closes in on Flurry.) I’m catching up!

(The pursuit ranges closer to floor level, with a few more yips and growls added for effect. Twilight throws herself into a sharp climb, leaving Flurry at a loss as she keeps cruising. The resident Princess suddenly pulls up right in front of her, rears up, and delivers a more fearsome growl; she responds by wrapping both her voluminous wings and a spherical shield around herself. Both winged unicorns sink to the floor.)

Twilight: Uh-oh. Sorry, bug. Did that scare you?

(Tapping the shield to see just how solid it is, she hunches down for a closer look; close-up of her face, seen from inside. The barrier adds a reverberating quality to her next line.)

Twilight: It’s okay. (smiling) It’s just Auntie Twilie.

(She mashes first one cheek and then the other against it, putting her face through a few comical contortions as a result. Cut to her side; Flurry lowers her wings and dispels it with a smile, and she lets her tongue loll out goofily as Twilight stands again and hugs her.)

Twilight: You know, that was a very advanced spell for somepony your age. Looks like you’re already taking after your Auntie Twilie.

(She tips Flurry a wink, which the youngster tries and fails to return, settling for a blink instead. Here comes Spike.)

Spike: All right, that was pretty adorable. (holding up list) But now…

Twilight: I know, Spike. We’re leaving.

(Just as Flurry begins to reach up for a boost, her stomach emits a most prodigious rumble. She sits down to her haunches, both forelegs covering her belly.)

Twilight: (floating a spoon and baby food jar into view) I just have to feed her real quick.

(The lid is twisted off, and a load of mashed peas is dipped out and shifted down to the baby—who gives the lie to daddy dearest’s assertion by steadfastly refusing to open her mouth for it. She counters by grabbing the spoon in her magic and flicking the legume puree back the way it came; Twilight ducks to avoid stopping it with her face, and it flies between her and Spike to hit the wall. Reptilian green eyes shoot a hard sidewise glare up at the purple ones, whose owner grins sheepishly at the mealtime malfunction. He has stowed his scroll by this point.)

(Dissolve to the exterior of the Ponyville Café, the restaurant seen at various times in past episodes. Locals mill among the tables set up out here before the camera cuts to inside; abstract paintings have been hung on the wall, and all the furniture has been cleared out so that patrons have room to move around and ponder them. Pan slowly to stop on a close-up of Cadence and Shining staring intently up past the camera; both are now properly groomed and rested. After a brief, confounded tilt of their heads to one side, the pink and white faces both break out in understanding smiles, which disappear just as quickly once they tilt their heads again. A longer shot behind them picks out the work they are contemplating: a conglomeration of shields and twisted spears balanced on a small pedestal.)

Shining: (hesitantly) Is this art or…a mistake?

Cadence: I have no idea.

(Behind them, a heavyset, deep tan pegasus stallion advances partway into view. Short, two-tone blue mane/tail; three-tone striped pink scarf with a snowflake pattern wound several times around his neck; medium blue eyes. This is Spearhead, who waves and addresses the couple in a surfer dude’s voice after Cadence’s next line.)

Cadence: But who cares? We’re not changing diapers. (Chuckle.)

Spearhead: Shining Armor! (He zips up between them.) Cadence! How’re the new ’rents? (to Shining, holding up a front hoof) Gimme some hoof.

(The two stallions trade a high five; when Spearhead makes the gesture to Cadence, she bemusedly taps a knee against his hoof instead.)

Spearhead: Oy, it is so— (Grunt; pull them close.) —good— (Another, squeezing them even tighter.) —to see you dudes! (nudging Shining) Hey, thanks for coming.

Shining: Of course! We’re having a great time. (gesturing vaguely) Loving all the…art!

Spearhead: (puzzled, pointing) Uh, that’s a trash can.

(This angle frames his cutie mark as a cluster of crossed spear heads. Cut to a close-up of the receptacle in question, a flip-top model overflowing with refuse, and zoom out to frame both Shining and Amethyst Star, the latter of whom drops an apple core into it from her mouth. Noticing the white stallion staring in her general direction, she lets her eyes pop open in surprise and cautiously backs away. On the wall above the trash can is a canvas whose every square inch has been painted a uniform gray only a shade or two away from full black.)

Shining: (forcing a grin) So it is! I knew that.

Spearhead: But hey, who’s to say it’s not art? Art can be anything that speaks to you. (crossing floor) It changed my world. (Head-on view; he points ahead as the two gather behind him.) This is my latest piece.

(Close-up: it is the monochrome dark canvas.)

Spearhead: (from o.s.) A Thousand Nights in a Hallway! (Cut to behind all three regarding it.)

Cadence: (trying to sound enthusiastic) Uh, wow! I guess nighttime in a hallway can be pretty dark. (Head-on view of them.)

Spearhead: (solemnly) There is none more dark.

Shining: Yeah. Totally.

(His loving wife gives him an odd look and rolls her eyes.)

Cadence: We’re just so happy to be here. Usually we’re covered in mashed peas by now.

(Cut to Twilight and Spike, both rather out of sorts and heavily slathered in that very foodstuff. The architecture behind them has fared no better.)

Spike: When they said mashed peas were her favorite…

 (He takes another hit in the face. Cut to Flurry, who laughs merrily as she paces around on one of the dining room chairs—the feeding fracas has moved in here. Spike wipes one eye clear and spits out some of the peas as Flurry hovers a sizable glob in front of herself.)

Spike: …did they mean her favorite thing to decorate a room with?

(She giggles and lets it rip, forcing both to dodge so that the gobbet nails the large window set in the back wall. It leaves silhouettes in the shape of both intended targets’ heads. Up come a few new loads.)

Twilight: (smiling) Aw, come on, Spike. That wasn’t too bad.

Spike: (snarky) Yeah, and we’re only twenty minutes behind schedule.

Twilight: (suddenly shocked) Twenty minutes?!? (She blows out a breath and composes herself.) It’s fine. We can totally do this.

(A new burst of farm-fresh goodness to the face forces her to rethink her assessment, but she gets out a weak little chuckle before the view fades to black.)

Act Two

(Opening shot: fade in to the interior of a large toy store. Twilight’s magic opens the front doors from outside, and she walks in pushing Flurry in a shopping cart. Spike carries the checklist scroll, extended to full length. All three are clean now.)

Twilight: Okay. (floating items off shelves into cart) We just need to grab some toys, and we are outta here.

(As the acquisitions continue, the little passenger magically brings out her blue teddy bear and waves it toward Twilight with a little snarl.)

Twilight: (chuckling) You want to play, don’t you? (Spike taps her shoulder and points at the list with his quill.) Well, I know a game that’s even more fun! (aside, to him) And more efficient. (Zoom out quickly.) Playing race carts!

(Exerting her hold over the vehicle, she hooks both hind legs onto its rear to get them off the ground and starts rolling with a hearty laugh. The baby dragon hustles after them on foot. Cut briefly to an overhead view of the aisles, the cart and Spike doing a serpentine pattern through them as Flurry’s gleeful squeals float up. Twilight’s power yanks toy after toy into the cart, and the camera cuts to a profile of the two winged unicorns, the older one now relying on hind legs rather than magic to keep the charge going.)

Twilight: Woo-hoo!

(She and the cart screech to a stop at a checkout counter manned by a slightly bored mare, Spike sweating and out of breath once he catches up to them. The list is rolled up now.)

Spike: Hey-hey, nice thinking, Twilight! (She starts levitating toys onto the counter.)

Twilight: Best aunt ever! (Flurry tugs on her tail for attention.) Hang on, Flurry. (pulling it loose with magic) The race cart’s taking a pit stop.

(The little one turns two forlorn blue eyes elsewhere, but her deflated mood lasts only a moment before she splutters with laughter and fires up her horn. The wheels of the cart begin to vibrate under her control, and a bit more fierce concentration starts the whole thing rolling away from the counter. It swerves this way and that, barely missing Carrot Top and a pegasus counterpart of Cherry Berry, and homes in on a stacked display. The camera rides along with the cart on this home stretch, and the screen fills with scattered toys on impact.)

(The view clears to give an overhead shot of the area; the display has been stripped completely clean by the hit, and the merchandise now covers quite a bit of the floor. Customers goggle at the instant mess as Twilight, Spike, and the cashier hurry across to it; he has put the checklist away.)

Spike: I’m not a detective—

(Close-up of one doll, behind which the tips of a white horn and ear can be seen.)

Spike: (pulling it away to expose Flurry) —but I think we got a suspect.

Twilight: Huh?

(She narrows her eyes at her niece, whose face falls, and her own does the same with a sigh once Spike points out the checklist.)

Twilight: Well, we better get to cleaning. (floating Flurry onto her back) We’ve got no time to waste.

(The dolls float up, filling the screen for a moment, and in no time flat the display has been restocked in a considerably different fashion from before. The cashier’s next words stop Twilight in her tracks as she starts to leave.)

Cashier: Thanks, but they were organized by color.

(The Princess lets off an irritated huff and sigh and gets back to the job, replacing all the dolls of one type before moving on to the next. One floats up past the camera, filling the screen; behind it, wipe to Twilight magically propelling Flurry in her carriage down a road in Ponyville proper and towing a cart piled with playthings at a full gallop. Both vehicles slam on the brakes as they pull up in front of the schoolhouse, the chasing Spike lost in the clouds of dust that they throw up. As the view clears and he closes the last few feet, again sweaty of face and short of breath, Twilight levitates a pocket watch up for a critical look, smiles, and tucks it away. He has again packed away his scroll by now.)

Twilight: Yes! We gained back a whole five minutes from running here!

Spike: Yeah, but if you add that to the forty minutes we were already behind, we’re still fifty-five minutes behind! (Hard look from Twilight; he relents.) I mean… (Weak chuckle.) …yay, team?

Twilight: (smiling, nodding) Mmm-hmm.

(She gets hooves and horn in gear to pull the lot toward the door, Spike following. Cut to the classroom, where Cheerilee rolls a book cart toward her and Flurry with her head. Meanwhile, Spike pulls himself up over a loaded shelf in the fore to have a quick look.)

Twilight: Thanks for helping us out, Cheerilee. Sorry we were late.

Cheerilee: Oh, no problem. But I gotta say, I’m surprised you came to me for a book. Don’t you have a huge collection? (Flurry starts bouncing and laughing in the carriage.)

Twilight: Yes, but… (She holds the baby aloft in her field.) …sorry, one second.

(Being set back on the cushions is not what Flurry had in mind, if her fussing and reaching for Twilight is any indication. Spike pitches in by clambering up the side of the carriage and fishing out the whammy, which Twilight takes in her aura with a smile. It drops into the carriage, instantly brightening Flurry’s mood as she cuddles it.)

Twilight: (to Cheerilee) I didn’t think the foals would be interested in The Unabridged History of Amulets in Pony Latin.

Cheerilee: Yeah. It was good you came to me. How about The Complete Collection of Ponyville Fables and Stables?

(A quick duck behind the cart, and this one is dropped onto an open display stand on the top shelf.)

Twilight: Mmm—too long. (Cheerilee brings up another.)

Cheerilee: Alien Alicorns versus Space Pirates?

Twilight: Well, the science there is preposterous. (Now Spike holds one up in front of his face, its cover depicting a fierce dragon flexing his muscles.)

Spike: How about Burnferno, Warrior from Within? (Lower it.) It’s about a handsome dragon warrior who slays evildoers with his breath—and his snappy comebacks.

Twilight: (giggling) Let’s borrow that for you and keep looking.

Spike: Eh. (He sits on the floor and starts reading.)

Twilight: (to Cheerilee) What else?

(In a fit of pique, Flurry throws the whammy over the side of the carriage. She continues to be ignored as Cheerilee brings up another book, which Twilight rejects, and gurgles brightly upon spotting the filled blackboard at the front of the room. Teleporting over to it, she goes into a hover and levitates up a piece of chalk. Cut back to Twilight, Cheerilee, and Spike.)

Cheerilee: Uh, how about Gusty the Great?

Twilight: Ooh, that was one of my favorites when I was a filly! We’ll take it!

(Close-up of the teacher, whose face suddenly rearranges itself into one of brain-paralyzing shock as she raises a trembling front hoof to point toward the front of the room.)

Twilight: (from o.s.) Um, should I go with something more current?

(Pan from her to Twilight, who turns her head to follow the gesture and sucks in a sharp gasp, then cut to her perspective and zoom in. Flurry has erased most of the board’s notes and replaced them with stick-figure drawings, three of which represent herself, Twilight, and Spike. She makes a “ta-da” gesture and vocalization, after which the camera cuts back to Twilight.)

Twilight: Cheerilee, I am so, so sorry. I didn’t even hear her leave!

(A quick burst of power brings the little scamp back and settles her in the carriage, and the beleaguered aunt crosses to the board and telekinetically puts an eraser to work. Flurry whimpers a bit as her masterwork goes bye-bye; a second later the surface is completely bare.)

Twilight: There. All clean. (Cheerilee steps up.)

Cheerilee: Great. Now I’ll just write it up again… (wearily, chalk in teeth) …with my mouth.

(The Princess makes a sheepish sound that might translate as “sorry, I did my best” and exits as Cheerilee sets to the task of replicating all those notes. Wipe to Cadence, Shining, and Spearhead in the Ponyville Café, the camera placed just below their eye level within an enclosure of velvet ropes.)

Spearhead: (pointing downward) Feast your eyes. This one’s called…

(Overhead shot of the enclosure, putting all three out of view. The ropes surround a large patch of floor covering marked with horseshoe prints.)

Spearhead: (from o.s.) …A Kitchen Guard’s Journey! (The group again, from a distance.)

Cadence: (trying to sound enthused) Ahhh!

Shining: (chuckling warmly) This reminds me of the time Flurry got into the chocolate pudding, and we found little chocolate hoofprints all over the carpet.

Cadence: (laughing) That took forever to clean up! But remember how cute her little face looked when we caught her.

Shining: Yeah. She was like… (big sad eyes, baby talk) …”uh-oh!” (Both laugh over the memory.)

Spearhead: Whoa! Art is so evocative! I wasn’t even going for that memory! Score!

(Wipe to a quiet stretch of road within the town. Twilight and Spike barrel around a corner and into view, the former still towing her cart—now with the borrowed books tucked in among the toys—and using horn-power to push Flurry in her carriage.)

Spike: Honestly, Twilight, I don’t even want to tell you how late we are. Should I just cancel our visit to the hospital?

Twilight: What?!? Cancel? We can’t cancel, Spike! The sick foals are counting on us! And the BAE would never throw in the towel like that.

Spike: (puzzled) BAE?

Twilight: “Best Aunt Ever”? Besides, this errand is gonna be different.

Spike: Well, how do you figure that?

Twilight: Because Flurry can play with the Cake twins and stay out of trouble. Best aunt ever!

(She pulls ahead, leaving one thoroughly unconvinced dragon in her wake. Wipe to the exterior of Sugarcube Corner, the cart and carriage parked out front. Zoom in slowly, then cut to an overhead shot of the shop floor as Twilight and Spike walk in, Flurry being levitated alongside. Pinkie Pie stands at the cash register, and twins Pound and Pumpkin Cake sit on the floor near a display case, playing with toys. Twilight’s field shifts Flurry down to the floor alongside them in close-up; a moment’s skeptical glance from the local tots swiftly yields to a round of happy burbling and sharing among the three. Zoom out on the start of the next line to frame Twilight and Spike.)

Twilight: Wonderful! They’re friends already!

Spike: Huh. I shouldn’t have doubted you.

Twilight: Thanks! (His words sink in after a moment.) Wait. You doubted me?

(He is quick to offer up a placating little shrug.)

Twilight: Spike, you watch Flurry. I’ll take care of everything else.

(Now he flips her a smart salute and the two move out, Twilight crossing to Pinkie.)

Twilight: (rapid fire) Hi, Pinkie, how’s it going? I need to pick up the cupcakes for the foals at the hospital, and can you do apology treats?

Pinkie: I’m good. (pulling out a full box) Here they are. Of course I can!

Twilight: (normal speed) Do you still have a giant file of everypony’s favorite treat?

Pinkie: In my secret party-planning cave.

(Recall that the rest of the gang found said cave by accident in “Party Pooped.” Pinkie hits a key on the cash register, triggering a small hatch in the floor to open and a lever to protrude upward from it.)

Pinkie: BRB!

(Short for “be right back.” One yank opens a trapdoor directly beneath her, and she plunges out of sight only to re-emerge in a blink with a colossal stack of documents. Twilight lets off a giddy little laugh at the sight of it; when set on the counter, it reaches nearly to the ceiling.)

Twilight: Remind me to tell you later how amazing you are. Cheerilee?

Pinkie: Eh, I am pretty awesome.

(Casting a practiced eye toward the mass of paperwork, she nips one sheet out in her teeth and transfers it to her hooves for a bit of perusal.)

Pinkie: Cherry oatmeal cookies with yellow sprinkles.

Twilight: Great! Can you write “sorry” on them?

Pinkie: I’ve got a stamp for that.

(She ducks behind the counter, produces a rubber stamp, and applies it to Twilight’s forehead. It leaves behind a red ink imprint of a sad pony’s face with droopy ears. As Twilight gives her a slightly hairy eyeball, the camera cuts to the three toddlers playing happily and the one baby dragon eyeing his checklist with growing unease. There begins a tussle between Pound and Pumpkin over a hot-air balloon toy; Flurry, playing with blocks, tries to get Spike’s attention and finally succeeds by throwing one and hitting him. He sets his list aside and stands up.)

Spike: Hey, you guys, no need to fight. (They ignore him.) Uh…hang on, I-I’m sure there’s another one! 

(A few steps carry him to a toybox near the door, and he plunges in and starts rooting around.)

Spike: Ah, no, not this one… (Back to the twins; panning to Flurry; he continues o.s.) …that’s cute…

(As playthings sail overhead and both Twilight and Pinkie continue their discussion, the royal tyke has a brainstorm. Her magic floats the balloon out of both contenders’ grips and drifts it across the room so that it thumps against the back of Twilight’s head. She has cleaned the mark from her forehead.)

Twilight: (not turning around) Hold on, sweetie. We’ll play in a second.

(Not the answer that Flurry was hoping to get, but a new inspiration strikes in short order. She lets her magic tear the balloon’s canopy away from the basket and give one portion to each of the twins, who have degenerated into lusty bawling by this point. Perplexed brown and blue eyes flick from the ruined toy to Flurry, who coos hopefully; the eyes go back to the pieces, then each other, and they throw the offerings aside with sudden anger. Flurry has just enough time for one fearful, wide-eyed stare before Pound and Pumpkin charge at her; she creates a shield around herself and hastily flaps away to stay ahead of them. Spike continues to ransack the toybox and Twilight carries on with Pinkie and her gargantuan file.)

Twilight: The sales-pony at the toy store.

Pinkie: Apple strudel cupcake with caramel drizzle!

(Figuring out that hooves alone may not be enough to bring down the interloper, Pound and Pumpkin shift to anti-aircraft artillery in the form of hurled cupcakes. Flurry darts aside so that they hit a wall instead, but the twins fire off another salvo that arcs jut over the airborne filly. Cut back to Twilight and Pinkie just in time for the sound of splattering dessert to come through loud and clear; Pinkie has retrieved yet another sheet from her file, but inadvertently rips it in half as her eyes pop nearly out of her head and she whinnies in sudden shock. This is followed by a pair of drooping pink ears that clue Twilight in to something being not quite right.)

Twilight: Oh, no. You’re making the same face Cheerilee made!

(She swivels her head to follow the blue-eyed gaze and lets her mouth fall open at the sight of cupcakes smashed against walls, display cases, and floorboards—and even a dollop dripping from  a ceiling light fixture. Incredibly, Spike has avoided taking even a single hit and is still searching through the toybox.)

Twilight: Pinkie, remind me what your favorite treat is?

Pinkie: (glumly) Hmm…the sampler platter.

Twilight: We’ll take three of those.

(Down comes Flurry, her shield gone and also not having even a crumb on her. The “best” aunt ever gives her a decidedly annoyed sidewise look as Spike finally pulls himself out, holding an intact balloon toy.)

Spike: Aha! Told you I’d find another one.

(It instantly pops in his hand, startling a yelp out of him, and zooms crazily around the room. The flight lasts just long enough for him to get out one embarrassed chuckle, and ends with him being hit upside the head with it. A cupcake connects with his brain bucket as a final insult.)

(Wipe to the trio charging through the park land outside Ponyville as if at least one of their tails was on fire. Twilight pulls the cartload of toys and pushes Flurry in the carriage with her magic; the baby drinks from a bottle; Spike holds on to the canopy now folded out to give a little shade. He has cleaned himself up.)

Spike: Uh, Twilight?

Twilight: Out of the question! We are not canceling! (Cut to him and Flurry; she continues o.s.) It’s gonna be okay. It has to be okay!

(One set of clawed fingers grasps the bottle; back to the borderline-unhinged mare.)

Twilight: It’s been so terrible so far that it can’t possibly end up—

(A spray of milk into her face causes her to trail off into a splutter and pitiful little moan.)

Spike: Uh, sorry. (She shakes herself off and sighs.)

Twilight: No, I needed it.

Spike: I was just gonna say, we’re here!

(She slams on the brakes for herself and the carriage, propelling him ahead o.s. and leaving the bottle to drop neatly back into Flurry’s hold. They have indeed arrived at Ponyville General, Spike lying flat on his back in the grass.)

Spike: (standing up) And we’re only four and a half minutes late.

Twilight: (suddenly panicked) Four and a half?!?

(She sprints ahead, taking the carriage along and sweeping Spike up in the bargain. Cut to a slow pan across a hospital ward and stop on Twilight at the far end on the next line. Several colts and fillies from Cheerilee’s class photo in the prologue are gathered around to listen to her read from the book floating before her, while others pay attention from their beds. Most have cupcakes from the batch she picked up at Sugarcube Corner, and one has a stuffed doll. Spike stands off to one side of Twilight, and Flurry sits on the other, her carriage resting nearby.)

Twilight: (reading) “And while nopony had ever tried to reach Cloudsdale on hoof, Gusty the Great was not deterred. She and her unicorn warriors marched up the hill.”

(A shot from behind her picks out the newly delivered toys that some of the patients are enjoying.)

Twilight: (reading) “But suddenly they encountered…” (Spike gasps in fear.)

Spike: What? What was it? (He scarfs down a cupcake; close-up of Twilight.)

Twilight: (reading) “It was the treacherous Grogar! And Gusty could tell he was ready for battle. Gusty called out to the unicorn warriors.”

(During this last, Flurry voices her displeasure from o.s. and the camera pans/tilts down to her. Even though she has her whammy, it is doing little to bolster her spirits, and she moves on to a hearty yank at Twilight’s tail.)

Twilight: Ow! (aside, bending over to her) Not right now, Flurry. These foals really want to hear this.

(Enough and too much for the infant, whose face slowly darkens to an unsettling shade of deep pink as a teakettle sings its rising warning note in her head. When she finally blows her top, it comes in the form of a full-scale tantrum and a kick that launches the whammy for distance.)

Twilight: (reading) “We can fight Grogar together!” And the unicorn warriors shot magical beams into the clouds that wove into one! The beam, stronger than a thousand armies, shined down. It wrapped around Grogar and pulled him to the ground. “Don’t let him escape!” yelled Gusty.

(Accompanied by the following. A brief cut to the floor crowd, the toy sailing over their heads. A cut back to Twilight and the whole group. The whammy bouncing out the door and landing on a cart pushed by a passing unicorn orderly. Flurry recovering from her outburst and frantically starting to look for it: under a blanket, teleporting into her carriage to check under and inside her bottle, then zapping herself under a filly’s pillow and levering her up, away again and emerging from a nightstand drawer.)

(After Twilight finishes this bit of the tale, Flurry takes wing toward the door and disappears in a flash. Cut to an examination room elsewhere in the hospital; a unicorn doctor has levitated a rubber mallet and poised it before an elderly patient sitting on the end of the table. Before he can tap a hock, though, the wayward baby rematerializes under the hammer, peeks down the oldster’s shirt collar and around the place, and is gone again. Cut to a different room; here Redheart faces a down-in-the-mouth stallion.)

Redheart: Say “ahhhh.”

Patient: Ahhhh…

(She nips a tongue depressor from a container in her teeth, but before she can put it to use, Flurry pops in and it drops from her teeth. The stallion trails off into a yell of fear as the winged intruder pries his jaws farther apart for a searching look down his throat. Nothing there, so she clears out again.)

(Out in the hall; she veers from room to room, then telekinetically slings two supply carts toward the ceiling and teleports away. They crash to the floor, one upside down and one on its side, and a couple of orderlies, one doctor, and another cart end up hovering once she winks back into view and flies past. In the foals’ ward, the camera pans away from Twilight and company to one side as she continues the story.)

Twilight: (reading) “Grogar was strong, for fear gave him power.” (now o.s.; Flurry reappears and magically lifts a bed) “And he broke through the bonds.”

(Nothing doing beneath, so the discomfited filly sends up other patients and their bunks in quick succession, prompting assorted cries of fear and surprise. Twilight is next to rise in close-up, but she completely fails to notice the change in elevation.)

Twilight: (laughing) I know! So good, right?

Spike: (from o.s.) Twilight, look up! (She does so.)

Twilight: Spike, you’re floating. (Her eyes pop once the words sink in.) You’re floating!

(Cut to just behind her, framing him up near the ceiling thanks to Flurry’s magic. Foals, food, and fun things are doing likewise around him.)

Spike: So are you!

(Now she sees the full extent of the mayhem her niece has caused: every single thing, living and otherwise, that had formerly been in contact with the floor is now above it—with the exception of the carpet. Flurry teleports here and there, still hunting fruitlessly for her whammy and peeking under a loose blanket along the way.)

Twilight: (coaxingly) Flurry, honey, you need to stop this. Put us down, please.

Spike: (pointing ahead) Twilight, look out!

(The adult Princess finds a bed and its occupant coming straight at her and gasps in undiluted terror, Spike’s expression a silent mirror for her own. Snap to black.)

Act Three

(Opening shot: fade in to an extreme close-up of Twilight and Spike, now both screaming as the bed bears down on them. She exerts her magic over it, overriding Flurry’s grip, and sets it down. A second hapless patient and his rack are next to meet the floor again, but the first goes right back up.)

Twilight: Nopony panic! Everything’s gonna be okay!

(Two more are put down, but one immediately rises again under Flurry’s control as she pops into view beneath it and then out again. Twilight sets it back on place, but the whole sequence plays out again with the other bed. Turning away from these two foals, a horrified Twilight sees yet another unwilling rider headed for the ceiling and wrests control from Flurry to bring her and her bed down safely. The juggling/searching continues a bit longer, and a zoom out reveals that Flurry has managed to outmatch Twilight and get everything floating again. The toddler keeps popping here and about in the great whammy hunt, and Twilight shudders in fear and uncertainty.)

Twilight: I can’t keep up with her! (Spike spots the carriage and gets an idea.)

Spike: Oh yeah! Where’s her snoozle?

Twilight: Her what?

Spike: (sighing) You know, her wacky, whompy thing, the snail? (looking in carriage) Where is it? Cadence said it calms her down!

Twilight: I don’t see it!

(A fresh cry of alarm draws their eyes toward the other end of the ward, where one filly’s bed is slung up as Flurry appears beneath it. This time, though, she is not so careful about keeping an even keel and the whole thing lists badly to one side, dumping the patient out. The pillow hits the tiles first, the filly thumping down onto it as her doll lands alongside. Redheart enters, notices the craziness, and gets literally swept up into it as Flurry swoops across. After a long, tense moment of watching the magical maelstrom rage on, Twilight’s very last good nerve finally gives way.)

Twilight: Flurry Heart, put us all down this instant!

(Hearing that stern a tone throws a real fright into Flurry and brings tears to the big blue eyes. She lets her magic wink out, sending ponies and furnishings plunging amid a cacophony of screams. Twilight gets her wings working to make a safe landing, Spike drops into the carriage, and a quick application of magic brings all the others down without incident.)

Twilight: Is everypony okay?

(Pan across them, accompanied by various nods, smiles, and affirmative responses; Redheart, sitting on her haunches among them, holds her composure for a moment and then flops onto her back in a faint. A stray pillow keeps her from cracking the back of her head on the tiles.)

Twilight: (crossing to Flurry) Flurry, that was very, very bad! You could’ve hurt somepony!

(That does it. The little winged unicorn bursts out crying, creates a shield around herself, and floats away from her caretaker, whose face instantly shifts into regret at having gone too far. Twilight kneels down to Flurry, who has turned her back and half-spread her wings as a secondary defense.)

Twilight: Oh, Flurry, I didn’t mean to…

(Flurry shifts herself a little farther away. Close-up; Twilight smiles and moves closer.)

Twilight: Sweetie, you don’t have to be scared. (bending closer; voice reverberates through shield) It’s just me. (mashing a cheek against it) See?

(The silly face may have worked in Act One, but not here; Flurry gabbles disconsolately and slides a few more feet away to huddle miserably against the wall. Twilight stands up, recognition coming to her.)

Twilight: You’re scared of me—because I yelled at you. Like a big scary bear. (slowly crossing floor) Flurry, I’m so sorry. I’ve been a terrible aunt today. (sitting down on her belly) All you wanted to do was play, and I’ve barely been able to pay attention to you. None of this is your fault. It’s mine. So much for being the best aunt ever. (smiling, reaching toward Flurry) But I hope you know how much I love you.

(That does it. The filly turns to face her, eyes instantly drying and face shifting into a beam, and she dispels the bubble with a cheerful gurgle and launches herself up to hug as much of the violet chest as her stubby legs can reach.)

Twilight: Oh, I take it you forgive me? (Flurry mashes her nose against one cheek.) Thanks, Flurry. How about we head home?

(A white foreleg gestures past her with mild trepidation.)

Twilight: After we find your whammy, of course.

(Rather than leave a tender moment alone, the o.s. Redheart butts in by clearing her throat. A floor-level shot frames one impatiently tapping white hoof in the fore as Twilight straightens up and magically sets Flurry on her back. What she finds waiting for her are a great many ill foals staring at her with some hesitation, and two doctors, one nurse, and one baby dragon all glaring at her with open hostility among a tumble of upended beds and furniture.)

Twilight: (smiling sheepishly) And clean up. (Chuckle.)

(Wipe to a close-up of a painting of a cake with blue/violet frosting and topped by a yellow cherry, and zoom out on the start of the next line. The action has shifted back to the Ponyville Café, and Cadence and Shining stand gazing soppily at this artwork.)

Cadence: (voice breaking) This one kind of reminds me of Flurry’s hair.

Shining: (ditto) Uh-huh.

(They turn in Spearhead’s general direction, focusing on a small shield-shaped medallion that rests on a pedestal and is turned away from the camera. Tears spill down the royals’ cheeks.)

Shining: And this one reminds me of Flurry too.

Spearhead: How so?

Shining: It’s small, like her! (He and Cadence lean their heads together.) I…I can’t do this anymore! Spearhead, this has been great, but—

Spearhead: Say no more.

(Close-up of both him and the medallion, which depicts a heart on its face.)

Spearhead: My art has always spoken to me about what I love. But knowing that it spoke to you about what you love speaks to me. (Zoom out to frame all three.)

Shining: What?

Spearhead: Go to her.

(They bail out of the joint. Dissolve to a corridor within the Castle as Twilight chases after a joyfully blabbering Flurry, both on wing. A quick turn and teleport put the quarry out of sight of her pursuer, who touches down in the entrance hall for only a moment before lifting off again. Next she enters the library and drops back to her hooves to pace the floor; a muffled squeal brings her up short, and she spots Flurry partially exposed under the edge of a rug. Twilight levitates the fabric away, shifts Flurry onto her back, and breaks into a laughing gallop. Cut to just inside the front doors, one of which opens under Cadence’s control; the carriage is parked nearby, next to the piled-up spare supplies. She and Shining walk in, the hubby in a panic.)

Shining: Flurry? Where’s our little foal?

(The answer, disclosed by an upward glance: getting a high-looping ride from her aunt, who comes in for a landing in front of them. Shining chokes out a noise of relief, and Cadence floats Flurry over so both of them can hug her.)

Shining: Oh, we missed you so much!

Cadence: Ohhh…

(Shining sighs blissfully, but Flurry slips out of their hooves and plants herself right back in her riding spot to hug Twilight. The sight instantly deflates both parents in close-up and brings up a double sigh. The doors behind them are closed now.)

Cadence: But it looks like you had a great time without us.  

Twilight: (from o.s.) Actually, not so much. (Cadence’s eyes widen; cut to frame all four.) Flurry got into some mischief. (smiling) But it wasn’t her fault. I shouldn’t have agreed to watch her with such a jam-packed schedule. It was too much to juggle, but Flurry taught me an important lesson today.

(Long overhead shot of them, framing the missing whammy now back in the carriage. Pan slowly toward the doors.)

Twilight: It turns out being the best aunt ever isn’t about spending the most time with your niece, but spending quality time with her. (Close-up; Cadence’s magic floats Flurry away.) And she taught me a really cool bear game, so I guess I learned two things.

(The Prince and Princess from up north laugh as their daughter settles into her carriage.)

Shining: Well, we definitely should’ve given you more of a heads-up.

Cadence: Yes. From now on, we’ll give you plenty of notice.

Twilight: Ohhh…that would be great.

Cadence: Hey, what are you doing next Tuesday?

(Twilight’s face goes slack, eyes widening, and she lets off a scared little whinny.)

Cadence: For dinner, not to babysit.

Twilight: (laughing) I’ll have to check with Spike, but I think we’re free.

Cadence: Where is Spike, anyway?

(Cut to an extreme close-up of a book in the little guy’s hands—the one he picked out at the schoolhouse in Act Two. On the start of the next line, zoom out to frame him reading to several foals on the floor of the ward at Ponyville General, all hanging on his every word.)

Spike: (reading) “The dashing dragon warrior breathed a scorching flame from his snout—”

(Behind him; the others are in or on their beds, Redheart sitting with one of them, and they too are deep into the story. An empty supply cart sits nearby.)

Spike: (reading) “—then chuckled to himself as he flew into the sunset.” (Jump onto the cart in close-up; flex muscles.) “ ‘If you can’t stand the heat, don’t fight a dragon.’ ”

Filly: (from o.s., pointing) Hey, you kinda look like him! (He turns to face her.)

Spike: Thank you! (Drop book.) Okay. Now who wants more cake?

Foals: Yaaay! Hooray!

(During this and further jubilation, the camera cuts to an overhead shot of a second cart, this one bearing a three-tier cake that has had a chunk cut out of it from top to bottom. The topmost tier has been decorated with a scaled-up copy of the sad-face “sorry” stamp that Pinkie demonstrated for Twilight at Sugarcube Corner. Forks and loaded plates, some fresh and some used, are scattered around the hefty dessert along with a few crumbs. Twilight’s apology to the foals, in the form of a fresh treat and storytime with Spike, has clearly gone over very well. Fade to black.)

ROCK SOLID FRIENDSHIP

Written by Nick Confalone

Produced by Devon Cody

Story editing by Joanna Lewis, Kristine Songco

Supervising direction by Jim Miller

Directed by Denny Lu, Tim Stuby

Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)

Prologue

(Opening shot: fade in to the campus of a college or university whose main building is constructed entirely from stone, with the exception of the windowpanes, doors, and thatched roof. The ground cannot qualify as a lawn, since there is hardly any vegetation on the sandy soil—a match for the rocky, arid landscape that stretches away into the distance. It is daytime, and a stage has been set up here. On it are two figures in academic mortarboards and gowns: an elderly, white-maned stallion at a lectern and microphone, and Pinkie Pie’s older sister Maud sitting in a chair. Two rows of seats have been set up in front, but the only occupants are the other members of the Pie family, namely Pinkie, her other sisters Limestone and Marble, and their parents Igneous Rock and Cloudy Quartz. Zoom in slowly, then cut to the speaker during the next line. Dark tan earth pony, glasses balanced on nose, white dress shirt and dark gray necktie, stole across shoulders, gold trim on robe collar, mortarboard styled as a slab of rock. Both his words and Maud’s are amplified by the microphone.)

Speaker: So in closing, earning a rocktorate in rock studies from the Equestrian Institute of Rockology is no easy feat. I’m proud of each and every one of you. (suddenly puzzled, glancing toward Maud) Uh…each of…no…just you, actually.

(Longer shot, framing Maud dressed in the same fashion. The newly minted graduate blinks impassively, and the camera cuts to a pan across the row of spectators and stops on Pinkie. A tiny chair is partly in view on the seat next to her.)

Pinkie: (waving pennants with her own cutie mark) Go, Maud! Woo-hoo! (chanting, pulling out “#1” foam-finger hand) Number one! Number one!

(Limestone reacts with a scowl, Marble with a fearful cringe.)

Speaker: Fillies and gentle-colts…

(He stares dumbfounded past the lectern; cut to the audience and zoom in on the tiny chair, showing that it is indeed occupied by Maud’s pet rock Boulder.)

Speaker: (from o.s.) …and is that magnesium-rich basalt? (Maud waves to it; back to him.) It is my honor to present our vale-rock-torian, Maud Pie—excuse me, Dr. Pie.

(Limestone and Marble trade a glance, deciding that now is the time to show their pride with a smile—but they are swiftly interrupted by the pink goofball popping up between their seats with an ecstatic gasp. She has done away with her fan gear.)

Pinkie: (grabbing them both) Dr. Pie! Dr. Pie! (slyly) Rocktor Pie?

(The pun does nothing to ease either sister’s shaken nerves. Pan to Cloudy and Igneous, the former dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief and the latter patting her shoulder, then cut back to the stage. The speaker steps aside to make room for Maud, whose throat-clearing generates a squeal of feedback through the lectern’s microphone. All the spectators hastily cover their ears except for Igneous, who just lets his eyes pop; she waits to continue until the noise has subsided.)

Maud: I’m Maud. (Pinkie stands up.)

Pinkie: Yeah, you are! Brilliant speech! (chanting) Encore! Encore!

Maud: There’s more, Pinkie. (starting again) I’m Maud. (She shifts to the next index card in her notes.) Pie. Thank you.

(She steps down and accepts a diploma from the speaker—engraved, appropriately enough, on a flat sheet of stone. He smiles toward the camera as a flash fills the screen, accompanied by a shutter click, but she remains deadpan as ever. The view clears to frame Igneous as the picture-taker, having used a “bellows” camera.)

Pinkie: (from o.s.) You are so welcome! (Longer shot behind the seats, framing all.) Brilliant speech! (chanting) Encore! Encore! Encore!

(Leaning over her armrest, she gives a high five to Boulder. Fade to black.)

OPENING THEME

Act One

(Opening shot: fade in to a train rolling through the countryside. Pinkie’s long, drawn-out, giddy squeal is heard right along with the engine’s chuffing, and continues as the camera cuts to within one car and she cartwheels down the aisle. The rest of the passengers cover their ears and glare at her until one final leap carries her to land on the seat next to Maud, who has changed back into her usual dress and is tucking Boulder into her collar. The younger sister’s next move is to grab said collar and whirl the older sister so that they end up nose to nose.)

Pinkie: You’re moving to Ponyville! We’ll live together and get bunk beds and I’ll make us fuzzy slippers that say “Best Sister Friends Forever.” Although I probably can’t fit all those words on a slipper, so maybe just “BSFF.” But we don’t have to decide right now, because we’ll be together all the time since when it comes to Ponyville, the doctor is in!

(She punctuates this gusher of verbiage with a bit of rear-hoof wiggling on the slipper description, then ends it by throwing a foreleg around Maud’s shoulders and pulling her close. After a beat of silence, the geology enthusiast gently pushes her away and sits up.)

Maud: Slow down, Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie: Yooouuu’rrre moooviiinnng tooo Pooonyyyviiillle.

(Taking the suggestion a bit too literally, it seems.)

Maud: I’m not definitely moving to Ponyville.

Pinkie: (normal speed, nudging her) Of course you are, silly! You said…

(In an instant, she has transformed her face, mane, and tail into a pink/magenta copy of her sister, complete with eyeshadow.)

Pinkie: (deadpan) “There’s nothing left to study back home on the rock farm, so I might move to Ponyville.”

(Breaking into a big grin, she sticks a front hoof into her mouth and blows hard, causing her mane and tail to pop back to their usual curly state. The eyeshadow disappears just as quickly.)

Maud: I’m also considering Ghastly Gorge.

Pinkie: (laughing loudly) Classic Maud sense of humor! (nudging her) You should do stand-up!

Maud: I do, but that wasn’t a joke. (Pinkie gasps softly, eyes widening.)

Pinkie: Ghastly Gorge? That terrible, awful, no-fun, all-alone canyon in the middle of nowhere?

Maud: There, or Ponyville.

Pinkie: But Ponyville is so…

(She finishes the thought by stretching her cheeks into a gigantic grin and adding a peal of squealing laughter.)

Pinkie: …and Ghastly Gorge is so…

(This time, she pulls her cheeks down and lets her tongue loll out, throwing in a sound of revulsion as if someone had just tried to force-feed her a pound of sugarless candy.)

Maud: It’s a rock-based decision.

Pinkie: But… (dropping onto back, waving hind legs) …what about BSFF’s?

Maud: That’s why I’m giving Ponyville a chance. (Pinkie sits up and lets out a breath.)

Pinkie: So all I have to do is prove Ponyville has better rocks than Ghastly Gorge? (poking Maud’s shoulder) Challenge accepted! We’ll drop your stuff off at my place, and then hold on to your world, ’cause it’s about to get rocked!

(After each of “about,” “to,” and “get,” the camera cuts to a still-closer shot of the sisters, Pinkie gradually building in intensity, jabbing a hoof into Maud’s chest, and leaning toward her until their noses touch.)

Maud: Okay.

(Pinkie’s full-throttle expression gives way to a nearly manic grin. Dissolve to a slow pan that follows them through a cavern whose walls are studded with large, faintly glowing gems; both are wearing hard hats with headlamps attached.)

Pinkie: Ghastly Gorge may have rocks, but our gem cave rocks!

(Older sister glances upward, taking in the plethora of exposed stones, as an ethereal harp begins to play. She then cuts her eyes to one side, the camera panning quickly in that direction to reveal the instrumentalist as Pinkie herself.)

Pinkie: (encouragingly) Huh? Huh? (pointing past harp) Oh, and look!

(A quick pan in that direction picks out Rarity and Spike doing a little gem hunting, Rarity wearing the bow/cutie mark-decorated hard hat she used in “Gauntlet of Fire.” Spike, standing over a basket that contains their haul, finds a small one.)

Pinkie: (from o.s.) You’ll never know who you’ll see!

(The unicorn turns away from her work with a happy gasp as Maud crosses to her.)

Rarity: Maud, darling! It’s lovely to see you again. Oh, congratulations on your rocktorate. What are you doing now?

Maud: Talking to you.

Rarity: (caught off guard, sputtering a bit) Right. (Giggle, then clear throat.) Well, if your trained eye happens to see a chartreuse gem, I’m desperate to find one.

(It is the work of a moment for the stoic mare to turn and pick one up off the ground—yellow with a faint green tinge.)

Maud: I found one.

Rarity: (crossing to her, floating it to basket) Oh, you’re an absolute darling! This will surely make my gown stand out at Countess Coloratura’s album release party. Do you know how rare this is? (Pinkie pops up next to Maud.)

Pinkie: Just another day in Ponyville!

(With a wink and grin, she trots off across the cavern.)

Maud: That’s actually a really common gem.

Pinkie, Rarity: Huh/Oh?

(Not even bothering to shift position, she casually kicks at a rock formation with one hind leg, the strike causes it to fracture and spill out a small flood of chartreuse jewels. Six disbelieving eyes turn her way, but she just redirects hers incuriously toward the ceiling.)

Maud: These are all really common gems. (Rarity puts a hoof to her mouth in shock and slowly tears up.)

Pinkie: They are? (laughing, trying to play it off) I mean, come on! Of course they are! (crossing to Maud) That’s why I didn’t bring you here to impress you. (sweating a bit) I wanted to make sure you had a chance to, uh, say hello to your old pal…

(She darts away and returns carrying…)

Pinkie: …Spike! (Who grins and waves timidly.)

Maud: Hello, Spike. (Pinkie throws him aside.)

Pinkie: Way to go, Maud! Cross that off the to-do list, you know what I’m saying?

(A quick reach out of sight, and she produces a pale green gem shaped like a check mark.)

Pinkie: Check! (Toss it away; push her across the cave.) Now let’s get moving, ’cause I’m about to show you something that’ll make you yell, “All right!”

Maud: All right.

Pinkie: See? (Laugh.)

(In the distance behind them, Rarity has collapsed to her haunches and is discarding a few gems from the basket, her mind completely shorted out by Maud’s blunt evaluation. Spike, meanwhile, picks one up from the ground and pops it into his mouth. Dissolve to a stretch of meadowland outside Ponyville proper; Pinkie pushes Maud into view, the latter blindfolded and both having ditched their hard hats. Once they stop, the pink party pony leans in to nip the cloth band in her teeth; cut to Maud’s perspective as it is removed and her vision is restored. They have stopped a short way from the Castle of Friendship, and Pinkie stands up into view with forelegs spread wide.)

Pinkie: Ta-da! (She backs off to one side.) It’s a castle made of rocks! (Back to Maud; she stands up alongside, pushing her own cheeks into a grin.) Whaaat? Did I just blow your mind? I think I just blew your mind.

Maud: A lot of structures are made from rocks, Pinkie. (Blue eyes pop wide.) They’re a very stable building material.

(Younger sister cringes a bit, but recovers quickly and trots a bit closer to the front doors.)

Pinkie: But this place grew out of nowhere after a magical key-filled gem followed a rainbow and buried itself in the ground! (dropping to hocks) I mean, have you ever seen rocks like this?

Maud: Yes. (Pinkie gets indignantly in her face.)

Pinkie: No, you haven’t!

Maud: We literally just saw hundreds of them in the gem cave.

Pinkie: (sputtering) But…but… (pointing off to one side) …oh, look at those rocks!

(She zips away; cut to her rummaging furiously through a bush, then standing up with dozens of burrs stuck to her coat/mane/tail and holding an extra load. Her facial expression clearly broadcasts her fraying nerves.)

Maud: Those are stingbush seed pods.

Pinkie: (eyeing them) So they are! (Weak laugh; shake a few away.) But, uh… (pointing away) …look at that rock!

(Off she goes, the remaining pods falling away; cut to her, peering intently at a tortoise with head retracted into its shell.)

Pinkie: It’s even got four smaller rocks around it like legs!

Maud: That’s a tortoise.

(Out comes the head in close-up marking this animal as Rainbow Dash’s pet Tank. Tilt up to Pinkie as she processes this earth-shaking revelation.)

Pinkie: (full force, blowing him o.s.) WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON, TANK?!?!?

(Dropping back to all fours, she trots frantically in place for a second before a fresh idea hits.)

Pinkie: Oh! (hanging briefly in midair) Wait a minute! (pointing) What’s that? It’s a rock shaped like Lyra Heartstrings!

(She is off like a shot. Cut to Bon Bon and Lyra Heartstrings out for a stroll; she nips in behind the unicorn and propels her back to the meadow, plunking her down in front of Maud.)

Pinkie: Total rock!

(As Lyra is about to voice her absolute bewilderment at this very strange turn of events, Pinkie slaps on a world-class scowl and adds a growl and emphatic head shake to shut her up. The unwilling mare stands paralyzed with fear, being pointed out by Pinkie, until Bon Bon trots across to push her away and give Pinkie an incredibly dirty look. Her latest sales pitch having gone down in flames, the pink pony literally deflates like a parade float balloon and ends up as a boneless puddle on the path. Close-up.)

Pinkie: (sighing) I guess you won’t be moving to Ponyville after all. (Maud’s shadow advances over her.) Those rocks at Ghastly Gorge don’t know how lucky they are to have you.

(Older sister helps the younger up, now fully back to herself.)

Maud: Actually, rocks aren’t the only reason I’m considering Ponyville.

Pinkie: You said it’s a rock-based decision. (Cut to just behind her shoulder and zoom in slowly on Maud.)

Maud: I’m obviously passionate about exotic rocks, but I’ve always studied them alone. (Pinkie’s eyes pop.) I could handle some less exciting rocks if it meant I’d have somepony to talk to besides Boulder.

(She holds up the pet rock on the end of this, and she tucks it back into her collar as Pinkie gasps and smiles.)

Pinkie: Are you saying you want…a friend?

Maud: I wouldn’t mind one. (Huge gasp from Pinkie.)

Pinkie: Maudalena Daisy Pie, this’ll be easy! (She pulls a clipboard out of her mane.) What are you looking for in a friend? Give me six qualities, assigning each one a numerical importance rating between one and seven, seven being essential and one being “eh.”

(Realizing that she has forgotten to grab something to write with, she proceeds to belch up a pencil and catches it in her teeth, ready to take notes. Maud regards her impassively.)

Maud: It isn’t hard to meet somepony I like. It’s finding somepony who gets me. (Pinkie leans in close, the clipboard and pencil gone.)

Pinkie: I get you.

Maud: You’re my sister. It’s different.

Pinkie: (smiling, pulling Maud closer) Maud, you are the best! You never know when the lightning of friendship will strike. (Move near the Castle doors; gesture at them.) Somepony could come barreling through that door at this very moment and become your best friend! 

(The next few seconds are taken up by a whole lot of nothing happening.)

Pinkie: You know, I really thought somepony was gonna come barreling through that—

(Now the doors fly open and Starlight Glimmer hurries down the steps, saddlebags on back and face buried in a book floating at eye level. She runs flat into Maud, sending both of them to the turf in a shower of books that tumble from the carriers; a moment later, Starlight is up to her haunches and rubbing her head.)

Maud: Uh.

Starlight: Oh! My fault! (She levitates the tomes back into her bags.) Totally my fault. Are you okay? (Both stand up.) I should’ve been watching where I was going.

(She cuts herself off sharply and aims a searching gaze at the unflappable mare.)

Starlight: You look really familiar. Have we met before?

Maud: Yes.

Starlight: I knew it! (Pan quickly from them to Pinkie, who freezes in her tracks.)

Pinkie: Whaaaat?!?

Starlight: No, no. Don’t tell me. Um…

(There follows a very long pause, during which she thinks hard and Pinkie slowly rises into view between them—eyes saucer-wide, mouth grinning and emitting a tiny little squeal near the top end of the audible frequency spectrum.)

Starlight: Yeah. See, I was really hoping you’d tell me while I pretended to remember. (Pinkie throws a foreleg around each set of shoulders.)

Pinkie: How is this possible? (Wild laughter.)

Maud: I traveled Equestria for my rocktorate dissertation.

(As she finishes this line, the view undergoes a wavering dissolve to a chunk of stone on a patch of barren ground. Her forelegs are visible off to one side, a compass and hammer rest nearby, and a pick swings down into view to split the mass. Zoom out to frame her with the handle in her mouth and a set of saddlebags slung up, filled with mineral samples. She sets the tool aside and pokes at the fragments as Starlight steps into view, visible from the neck down at first. However, her cutie mark is the fake equals sign she wore in “The Cutie Map,” and when the camera cuts to her, it frames her forelock as the straight, evenly divided style she sported in those episodes. Maud straightens up, now with a pencil in her teeth to jot notes on a pad, as the unicorn glances nervously around this area.)

Starlight: Psst! Do you know a lot about rocks? (Maud puts down the pad/pencil and lifts a pebble.)

Maud: Yes.

Starlight: (smiling, trying to sound casual) Have you ever come across some kind of super-powerful stone that can store the cutie mark magic of…I don’t know… (smile vanishing) …an entire village?

Maud: Yep. (Starlight is taken aback; she points.) In the big cave.

(A sinister grin steals across the unicorn’s face and she hustles away in the indicated direction. As Maud continues to inspect the stone she has found, the camera zooms out to show that she is on the ridge overlooking the village Starlight used to rule—or will eventually rule, based on the fact that not all of its houses have been built yet and some of the existing ones are half-done. She turns impassively away from the scene as Starlight gallops madly toward her house at the far end.)

(Another wavering dissolve brings the action back to the present, Starlight very much ill at ease over the recollection and Pinkie’s mind jammed up but good. The latter forces a loud laugh.)

Pinkie: Hey! I got an idea. (to Maud) Let’s not tell anypony that part where you maybe for-sure accidentally helped Starlight enslave a town!

(Another big fake laugh, which goes bye-bye in a twinkling; zoom in to an extreme close-up as she jams her nose up against Maud’s and glowers for all she is worth.)

Pinkie: Tell nopony!

Maud: It’s not like she’s enslaved anypony lately.

(That gives the younger Pie pause, and she backs off to find Starlight averting her eyes with a sheepish smile, laugh, and sigh.)

Starlight: (to Maud) Well…great seeing you again. (walking off) I gotta run a few errands.

(The ersatz good cheer evaporates as she voices a heavy sigh and lets her head droop.)

Pinkie: (to Maud, talking out of one side of her mouth) Offer to help.

Maud: What?

Pinkie: (speaking a little more clearly) Offer to help! (Starlight pauses.)

Starlight: You…want to help? (Pinkie grins.)

Maud: (to Pinkie) Do I?

Pinkie: (clapping front hooves) Of course you do! Go!

Maud: Okay.

(A determined smile steals over the pink face before those hooves ram the restrained mare ahead to catch up with Starlight, who grins as they get on the way toward Ponyville proper. In close-up, Pinkie grins widely and makes a tiny funny happy noise in the back of her throat.)

Pinkie: They’re totally gonna be best friends and then Maud will chose Ponyville— (hovering in midair, twiddling rear hooves) —and we’ll get to wear BSFF slippers!

(The shock of unpleasant realization comes across her face an instant before gravity reasserts itself, and she plunges o.s. to the earth and sends up a cloud of dust. Fade to black.)

Act Two

(Opening shot: fade in to a block in Ponyville that is thick with vendor stalls, tables, and customers. Maud and Starlight take their time walking through the area.)

Maud: Rocks take on different properties when interacting with magic. With the right stone, you could rule all of Equestria if you wanted to.

(Both stop short, Starlight throwing her a very funny look.)

Starlight: You’re messing with me.

Maud: Am I?

(Suspicious blue eyes bore into unblinking blue-green ones; Starlight is the first to crack with a hearty round of laughter.)

Starlight: So, other than rocks, what else are you into?

Maud: Minerals. Plate tectonics. Oh, and stand-up comedy, of course. (Slightly uneasy pause from Starlight.)

Starlight: I like…kites.

(She chews her lip worriedly, but Maud’s expression does not so much as flicker for a long moment.)

Maud: Kites are cool.

(Starlight sighs with relief and they resume walking. As they pass a bin of asparagus spears, Pinkie’s head breaks through to daylight, concern writ large over her face. Wipe to a patch of clear sky in which a kite swings into view, then cut to Starlight in a meadow, controlling its string with her magic as Maud ambles up. Spare materials are spread on the grass. Starlight no longer wears her saddlebags.)

Starlight: (animatedly) The trick with an SLK is not to make the spars too heavy. But if they’re too light, you got no ballast, and then good luck tacking against the AOI. (She relents a bit under Maud’s stare.) I really like kites. (Nibble bottom lip.)

Maud: They’re starting to grow on me.

[Note: “SLK” = single-line kite; “AOI” = angle of incidence.]

(Seeing Maud turn her attention to the flying rig, Starlight relaxes and goes back to working it around. However, the sudden arrival of Pinkie throws a brick through the quiet camaraderie. The intruder has now stuck a giant foam pizza slice around her neck and strapped an insulated bag to her back, the sort that would be used to keep the goods warm while making a…)

Pinkie: Pizza delivery! (Starlight bobbles her spool away; both turn toward her. She feigns surprise.) Oh! Maud and Starlight? You’re here too? (crossing to them, laughing) Whoa! What a coincidence! ’Cause I was just, you know… (pulling pizza box from bag) …delivering this pizza to…um…

(She looks around; cut to her perspective, panning past these two—one of whom is giving her a hairy eyeball. No other ponies are anywhere near here until Derpy Hooves trots over a rise and into view; zoom in on her.)

Pinkie: (pointing) …you!

(Derpy stops, well and truly confounded, and grins as the box is flung in her general direction. Pinkie’s aim is just a bit off, though, as it smacks her in the head and bounces away. However, the prospect of free food quickly brightens her mood again and she gallops off to retrieve it from the bushes.)

Pinkie: (encouragingly) So how’s it going?

Starlight: Uh, just hanging out. (Pinkie leans over to her and Maud.)

Pinkie: Hey! You could use this time to bond and talk about feelings! For example, do you feel like you’re becoming friends? (Cut to Maud and Starlight.)

Starlight: (hesitantly) Um, I feel like I don’t want to talk about feelings?

Pinkie: (from o.s.) Great! (All three again.) I’ll go next. I feel like I love that you two are becoming best friends!

(Cut to the new acquaintances, Maud cocking her head ever so slightly to one side—“let’s get out of here”—and Starlight smiling to acknowledge on the start of the next line, then back to all three after the first few words.)

Pinkie: I mean, your friendship could be the friendship that makes Maud move to Ponyville! No pressure, Starlight.

(By the time she finishes, the other two have already cleared out. She only notices this fact after she cracks off a sly grin and finds it without a recipient; cut to a long shot of her and zoom out to frame the pair walking off.)

Pinkie: (calling out) Um, hello? Where’d you two go?

Maud: (to Starlight) Sorry about my sister. There’s no half-excited with her.

Starlight: Oh, I know. But she always calms down—eventually.

(Dissolve to a passage within the gem-studded cavern seen in Act One. The two mares make their way along, both wearing hard hats with headlamps.)

Starlight: Why do you find rocks so fascinating?

Maud: Each one has a different story to tell. (They stop; she holds Boulder up.) Like Boulder here.

(Extreme close-up of it; she pokes at a spot as Starlight leans in for a close look.)

Maud: (from o.s.) This tells me he’s over two thousand years old. (Both again; she addresses it.) You don’t look a day over six hundred. (Back into her collar it goes.)

Starlight: Wow. You can tell that from a line?

Maud: I didn’t get a rocktorate because I can shred on guitar like nopony else.

(Starlight laughs at this and moves to scope out a particular large gem embedded in the wall. Maud’s reflection appears next to hers in the rough facets.)

Maud: Another reason I like rocks—they don’t exclude you if you’re…different than other ponies.

Starlight: They’re beautiful and strong, but they don’t judge you or make you feel less than in any way [sic]. (Chuckle.) Think I’m starting to like rocks too.

(As she moves off across the cavern, the earth pony allows herself just a trace of a smile. Cut to Starlight, who has stopped at a large bare patch of wall across the way so she can knock experimentally on it a couple of times. The reverberating quality of the impacts makes her eyes widen as she realizes that…)

Starlight: It’s hollow?

Maud: (from o.s.) It’s granite. (crossing to her) Hollow granite is highly unusual.

(Starlight exerts a touch of her magic over the expanse, setting off a tremor that shakes the entire cavern and sends a small avalanche of increasingly larger fragments down toward them. They take a few cautious steps backward before the screen fills with dust; when it clears, the camera has shifted to behind them, exposing a new opening that shines with brilliant light on its other side. Maud and Starlight move toward this, and the camera cuts to a long shot of them in this newly opened space and zooms out. They have arrived in a vast chamber with lush foliage, bisected by a river fed with small springs and waterfalls; the light source is a cluster of giant gems that hangs from the ceiling, and small ones are set here and there around the place.)

Starlight: (awestruck, echoing slightly) Wow. Have you ever seen anything like this? (Close-up.)

Maud: No, and that’s unusual…for me.

(The quiet reverie is smashed to pieces when Pinkie pops up between them, now wearing a hard hat of her own instead of her previous pizza delivery gear. She claps a foreleg around each mare’s shoulders.)

Pinkie: There you are! I thought you went your separate ways, but you can’t imagine how happy I am to find you both together and to witness one of your firsts as friends!

(As she delivers this vocal barrage, she hops away, returns to set up two photography lights with backing shades, and pulls a scene backdrop into view behind them—a stretch of ocean with dolphins leaping happily about. Her last step is to set a “bellows” camera, aimed directly at them, and trigger it. The flash of its bulb fills the screen and clears to give a close-up of them, mouths slightly open in hopeless confusion. All four pupils contract from the sudden brightness, Starlight covering hers and turning her head aside as Maud blinks to restore her own vision. Pinkie gives them no quarter, though, and rushes in to shove a copy of the photograph at them.)

Pinkie: First time discovering an underground cavern! (Squeal.) I can’t wait ’til you’re old and eating pistachios together and telling your grand-foals about this.

(Starlight floats the picture over to Maud in her aura and fixes Pinkie with a frosty stare, prompting the latter to grimace and turn away.)

Pinkie: (to herself) Oh, no! They’re not bonding!

(Sweat runs down the pink face as front hooves massage temples in a desperate attempt to jump-start her mental processes. Soon enough, a new smile comes over her face.)

Pinkie: I got an idea!

(With a dazzling grin, she plows straight through the entire photography setup and out of this chamber. Cut to the cavern side, where she hops backward with a small stone, sets it on the ground, and fakes tripping on it and stumbling away.)

Pinkie: (exaggeratedly) Whoa! I’m tripping on a rock at this very moment, and now I’m falling down!

(During this line, the camera pans slowly to follow her toward a dynamite plunger whose wires trail off into the distance. She finishes by slamming the handle down and setting off a blast that drops tons of rock from the ceiling and fills the screen with dust. As the view clears, she straightens up into view with an innocent shrug.)

Pinkie: (exaggeratedly) Oh, no! (Maud and Starlight cross to her; the exit is now blocked.) My accidental clumsiness has trapped us here! (cheerfully, pushing them together) Where you’ll be forced to bond until we’re rescued. (Away she goes.)

Starlight: (airily) Oh, we won’t have to wait for that. (Maud fishes in her collar…) There’s gotta be a spell that— (…and pulls Boulder out.)

Maud: Get us out of here, boy.

(The chunk is flung sharply upward, hitting the ceiling hard enough to bring down a decent portion of it, expose daylight above, and throw up yet another solid curtain of dust. This one clears to frame the aboveground side, which is in a forest; the two make their way up and out of the fresh hole, Maud now carrying Boulder again.)

Starlight: Boulder, that was awesome!

Maud: (putting it away) No. That was sandstone.

(Close-up of the hole, through which a sheepishly grimacing Pinkie can be seen. This angle frames Maud’s forelegs and the tips of Starlight’s hooves.)

Starlight: (from o.s.) More sand than stone, apparently.

(Ground level again; the miscreant mare arrives in a tick, having stripped off her own hard hat and knocking theirs away as well.)

Pinkie: (hanging cowbells around their necks) I’m thinking you wear these around your necks at all times so I don’t lose you again, you sillies. That way I can track your progress as friends.

(She smacks both rumps, causing them to face forward and start walking away together—Starlight now getting really fed up as Maud glances levelly back at Pinkie from the corner of her eye. After only a few steps, though, Pinkie races up and wheels to walk backward facing them.)

Pinkie: Ooh! And tomorrow, we can have a friendship brunch! What’s your favorite kind of omelet cupcake? (whispering, to Maud) Mine’s jalapeño red velvet!

Maud: Uhhh… (All stop, Starlight putting a hoof over Pinkie’s mouth.)

Starlight: Yeah, um, I-I don’t know if I can make it.

Pinkie: (singsong, poking her nose) You’ll change your minds when you smell the yummy food! (hopping ahead) Come on!

(Once she is well out of sight, Starlight weaves a quick spell to snap the loops of rope holding the cowbells on and pitch the lot into the undergrowth.)

Starlight: (innocently) Oops.

(As she walks off, her unlikely companion again lets her mouth curve into a tiny smile. Dissolve to the exterior of Sugarcube Corner that night, all its windows brightly lit, and zoom in slowly.)

Pinkie: (voice over) Tomorrow’s brunch is gonna be the scrump-chiest, brunchiest, munchiest brunch ever!

(Cut to her bedroom, framing Maud at a mirror in a head-on close-up—wearing the pony equivalent of “footie” pajamas in dull gray-green and putting curlers in her mane. Pinkie’s tail and the quilt on her bed are visible in the background.)

Maud: Yeah, about that.

(Zoom out slightly on this line to frame the rest of her younger sister lounging on the bed, dressed in blue pajamas with pink polka dots. Sheets of notes are spread out before her, and she has tied most of her mane back in a loose bun.)

Pinkie: The problem is, while you two were alone— (Maud pivots slightly; her tail is in curlers as well.) —I couldn’t get data points on your friendship probabilities. Were you making Starlight smile? (holding up a graph) How was Starlight’s smile-to-frown ratio? Anything over five to one is great.

(Close-up of the mirror; Pinkie’s reflection pokes into view behind Maud’s.)

Pinkie: Oh, and how many times did you smile like this? (Big squeaky grin; Maud turns toward her.)

Maud: Zero times.

(She turns back to the glass as the pink image’s mood deflates. Cut to frame both again, Pinkie now half-risen to her hooves on the bed.)

Pinkie: Oh, Maud, don’t be so hard on yourself. (jumping in place) You’ve got the best friendship maker in Ponyville on the case. I’ll be by your side the whole time!

(Cut to the stoic sister, who straightens up from the mirror.)

Pinkie: (from o.s.) Oh, speaking of which— (She drapes one of the cowbells around Maud’s neck.) —your bell fell off, silly.

Maud: Pinkie Pie, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but—

Pinkie: (expectantly, leaning toward her, pushing her down and o.s.) Buuuuuuut…?

(Overhead shot of the pair. Maud has landed on the mattress, and Pinkie slides in next to her and pulls the quilt up over them.)

Maud: (sighing) Never mind.

Pinkie: Don’t worry, Maud. When you see this brunch, you’ll realize everything’s gonna be okay.

(She rests her head on the pillow; cut to Maud’s side, the camera aimed across the back of her head.)

Pinkie: (from o.s.) And then, I have amazing bonding activities planned for the next seventeen days!

(Older sister turns over during this line, her unchanged countenance somehow managing to convey the degree of frustration taking hold in her mind.)

Pinkie: (from o.s.) You and Starlight will be besties in no time!

(The gray lips part as if to deliver a response, but the camera cuts to an overhead shot of them before she can get any words out. Now they are face to face again.)

Pinkie: Good night!

(A kiss on the forehead, two claps, and the lights go out. She does the same without even lowering her forelegs and is snoring loudly within less than one second. Cut to a longer shot of the bed and zoom out slowly as Maud lies awake, pondering this decidedly bizarre and not entirely welcome interference.)

(From here, dissolve to a close-up of Pinkie, forelegs still raised, as the morning light advances across her face and birdsong is heard outside. Just as quickly as she conked out, she snaps her eyes open, sits up in bed, and throws off the covers.)

Pinkie: Friendship brunch!

(She aims a big grin toward Maud’s side, but it vanishes into a look of bewildered disappointment. Cut to that other pillow, with nothing but a note and the cowbell resting on it. Pinkie bends down to scrutinize these two items, then sits up with the note. Zoom in slowly.)

Maud: (voice over, dictating) “Pinkie Pie: Thank you for trying so hard to help me make friends. But my decision has to be rock-based.” (Pinkie bites her lip.) “And Ghastly Gorge has such great rocks. I won’t even have time for friends. It’s better this way. Sorry it didn’t work out. Maud.” (Throw the note aside.)

Pinkie: Maud!

(She bounds off the bed. Long shot of Sugarcube Corner, seen from down the street. The front door flies open and out she comes at a full gallop, having shed her sleepwear and untied her mane.)

Pinkie: Wait!

(Cut to the train station, a train pulling away; she gives chase briefly, but stops in front of the platform.)

Pinkie: Maud! (whimpering softly, voice breaking) Maud…

(She fights to hold her composure as the view fades to black.)

Act Three

(Opening shot: fade in to an extreme close-up of Starlight fast asleep in her own bed. As she shifts position, the camera zooms out quickly to frame Pinkie standing on the mattress.)

Pinkie: Starlight! Wake up! (Starlight snaps awake and slides backwards.)

Starlight: (half-scrambled) Where are the kites?

(Down and o.s. she goes, shaking the camera once she meets the floor.)

Starlight: Huh? (She sits up and sees Pinkie.) Oh. If this is about brunch, I-I, uh…uh… (Back in bed and under the covers; blunt tone.) …you know what? Jalapeño red velvet omelets sound gross. I-I just can’t. (Head meets pillow; close-up of it.)

Pinkie: (from o.s.) Maud left in the middle of the night! (That wakes her up.)

Starlight: Oh. (Sit up.) I guess Ghastly Gorge really does have the best rocks.

(She hunches down into herself as Pinkie sits on her haunches by the foot of the bed, sniffling miserably with teary eyes.)

Pinkie: Why couldn’t you two just be friends? (Starlight leans over to her.)

Starlight: Pinkie Pie, I like Maud.

Pinkie: You do?

Starlight: Yeah! (laughing a bit) She’s weird.

Pinkie: Hey!

(The force packed into that one word sends Starlight tumbling back onto her pillow.)

Starlight: (sitting up) No, in a good way! (Zoom in slowly.) She sees the world in a totally different way than anypony I’ve ever met. She accepts me for who I am. She taught me that a rock is never just a rock, and… (laughing) …she can make anything funny. We never had to say it, but…we got each other. (Pinkie sits up with a hopeful smile.)

Pinkie: You really were becoming friends?

Starlight: I think so. But you kinda sorta…got in the way.

(Pinkie backs away with a deep gasp, and Starlight pulls in a little one of her own upon realizing just how much of a shock to the system this is.)

Starlight: You’re right. Too harsh. Let’s go with “you ruined everything all the time”?

(She offers a weak smile, but all she gets is a piteous whimper.)

Starlight: (sighing) That’s worse. What I’m trying to say is— (Pinkie snaps upright to her hind legs and turns her face away.)

Pinkie: (sobbing) I have to go! (Gallop o.s.; sound of door opening/closing.)

Starlight: (lamely) Ta-da! Friendship lesson…learned?

(Referring to her experience in holding back her irritation toward Trixie in “All Bottled Up.” She lets her head drop with a weary sigh, realizing that she has made a total hash of the situation. Flopping back down onto her bed, she magically yanks the blanket all the way up over her head. Dissolve to the floor of a long canyon with winds whistling unceasingly through its rocky terrain. A campsite has been set up near the base of one wall: tent, cooking fire, mineral samples/tools/containers—it can only be Maud’s new home base in Ghastly Gorge. Pan away from this area toward the opposite wall, where she has donned her dress and hard hat, removed her mane/tail curlers, and taken up a position to gaze into a lightless horizontal shaft bored into the rock. Next to her is a small stool piled with fragments. She has a small pick in her teeth and begins to tap it against the stone; cut to a close-up as she works a bit of it free. Setting the tool down, she nips up the specimen and carries it over to add it to the pile.)

Maud: Sigh.

(She raises a hoof to shield her face from a strong gust, which blows the just-added rock off the stool and across the hard-packed earth. Hurrying after it, she gallops along the length of the gorge; in close-up, it clicks off an egg-shaped lump shot through with green and gray streaks and comes to rest. The bluish-gray hooves step up to it, and a longer shot frames her near the mouth of another cave.)

Maud: (bending down to the second rock) Emerald jasper?

(A quarray eel—one of the fearsome reptilian beasts inhabiting the walls, as seen in “May the Best Pet Win!”—extends slowly from the hole, saliva streaming from the massive mouth.)

Maud: This must be my lucky day.

(The jaws open wide with a soft growl, poised to make a midday snack of this little pony. Cut to a water tank on a platform alongside a set of railroad tracks—a bare-bones station. The train Pinkie tried to chase pulls in, stops for only the briefest moment, and then gets rolling again to expose her now on the platform and wearing her hard hat. A flock of crows roosting in a nearby dead tree takes flight with a riot of cawing, flying toward the camera until their plumage fills the screen.)

(As they disperse, the view changes to a long shot of Pinkie walking through Ghastly Gorge. Once past Maud’s campsite, she stops at a trail of hoofprints leading in the direction she is moving. One of them gets a good sniffing over, followed by a nibble at the dirt in which it is impressed.)

Pinkie: Maud tracks!

(The maker’s identity confirmed, she gallops on for a few hundred yards, then slows to a walk and puts her nose back to work in close-up. Two things bring her up short: a puddle of greenish liquid and a most inhospitable growl. Zoom out to reveal the source of both at the slavering quarray eel that sneaked up on Maud—but she is nowhere in sight. Pinkie stares fearfully at the beast and is greatly surprised when it opens its mouth to expose her sister on its tongue. Maud is not only still in one piece, but has picked up the egg-shaped rock she found and is squinting at it through a jeweler’s loupe screwed into one eye.)

Maud: Hello, Pinkie Pie. I found emerald jasper.

(The great jaws slam shut, scaring a cry out of Pinkie. She peels out at top speed and promptly returns with an automobile jack, which she wedges between the teeth. A few quick pumps of the handle are all she needs to lever them apart, and she ducks inside to push Maud to safety.)

Pinkie: Are you okay, Maud? That eel almost ate you! (It strains against the jack…)

Maud: What eel?

(…and snaps it apart. They jump a little farther away from it, Pinkie yelping in fear and Maud dropping her rock and loupe, and get doused in drool when it roars down at them. Without any further words, they bail out and are barely able to stay clear of the lunges of other eels. They become clean as soon as they start to move.)

Maud: You didn’t need to come. I’m having a great time on my own.

(Pinkie cannot come up with a response, stunned as she is that Maud could so casually ignore these sources of mortal peril.)

Maud: I even made a new friend.

Pinkie: Is it a rock?

Maud: Yes.

(An eel snaps at them, sending them tumbling off the narrow ledge they have been following. Pinkie yells in fright as they drop o.s.; cut to a close-up of her landing flat on a small outcropping among the howling winds, her hard hat bouncing away. One of Maud’s hooves has clamped onto the edge of this precarious perch.)

Pinkie: MAUD!!

(Zoom out slightly to frame the geology buff hanging from the edge, having lost her headgear as well. Pinkie seizes the grasping front hooves. The next seven lines are delivered in raised voices to be heard over the wind, Maud speaking almost imperceptibly louder than normal.)

Maud: I don’t belong in Ponyville. It only proved I’m better off all by myself, like I always have been.

Pinkie: Don’t say that! (as an eel passes from one cave to another overhead) It was all my fault! I—

(She trails off into a yell and covers her head as debris stirred up by the monster’s passage rains down. Zoom in slowly once the air has cleared.)

Pinkie: I thought I knew everything about making friends, but I didn’t even know my own sister! I forced you to do things my way— (Her perspective of the impassive face.) —but my way isn’t your way!

(Maud glances briefly down below herself.)

Maud: This way. (Profile of both.)

Pinkie: Exactly!

Maud: No.

(She lets go, dropping into free fall among the maelstrom of air currents—and stops with her head still in view above the bottom edge of the screen.)

Maud: (pointing behind herself) This way.

(As she walks calmly away, the camera zooms out to show that the flat on which they have fetched up is only a few feet above the floor of the gorge. Cut to the campsite, the two emerging into view from around a bend to approach it and leaving the turbulence behind.)

Pinkie: Maud, I thought you couldn’t make a friend without my help. (They stop.) But it turns out you couldn’t make a friend with my help. I underestimated you, and I’m sorry.

Maud: (raising Pinkie’s chin) I know you did it out of love. (Her perspective of the downcast pink visage.) You’re my Best Sister Friend Forever.

(Pinkie chews her bottom lip, trying to keep from crying—and very quickly failing. Cut to frame both; she has fallen to her hocks and let her forelegs dangle.)

Pinkie: Oh, Maud, I love you bigger than all Equestria!

(She stands and wraps Maud in a tearful hug, a bluish-gray foreleg landing gently on her back.)

Maud: And you melt my heart more easily than sodium-rich plagioclase feldspar. (Pinkie pulls away, wipes her eyes, and rests her front hooves on Maud’s dress front.)

Pinkie: I don’t know what that means— (shaking her gently) —but please, please, please, please, please give Ponyville another chance. But more importantly, give me another chance—to leave you alone. (Long pause.)

Maud: (addressing herself back and o.s.) What do you think, Boulder?

(Cut to a close-up of the pet rock, resting on a chopping block next to an axe and a pile of split firewood and wearing a tiny knit cap, then dissolve to a patch of tranquil blue sky. The kite Starlight flew in Act Two swings into view and is soon joined by a second one that leaves something to be desired in the technical details of its construction. Cut to Starlight in a meadow, spool held in her magic, then zoom out slightly as she notices Maud standing alongside, the other kite’s string pinned under a hoof.)

Starlight: You’re back!

Maud: Mmm-hmm.

Starlight: (grinning hopefully) For good?

Maud: (nodding) Mmm-hmm. This doesn’t mean we need to start talking about feelings, does it?

Starlight: (laughing, relieved) No way.

Maud: Maybe after this, we could decorate my new place.

Starlight: Totally! Where is it? (Tilt up slowly toward their kites.)

Maud: Well, it’s not in Ponyville. More like Ponyville-adjacent.

(The camera motion puts them out of view on the second half of this line. From here, dissolve to the forest in which they surfaced after their Boulder-assisted escape from the Act Two cave-in. The hole is still open, and a mailbox and front walk of stones have been set up leading to it. The camera then cuts to the chamber Starlight opened; part of one riverbank has been comfortably outfitted with furniture, hanging lanterns, and a large fabric canopy as a ceiling. Gems and crystals of assorted size and hue have been placed for accents. Maud and Starlight advance into view, the former wearing Pinkie-head slippers on all four hooves, and Starlight goggles at the radical redesign that has already taken place. Zoom out slightly to frame a couple of small docks now attached slightly farther downriver and a flight of rough-hewn steps leading down to them from the living area, then cut to the pair.)

Starlight: It’s perfect. (Pinkie drops into view between them.)

Pinkie: (forelegs across both their shoulders) Yes! My sister’s totally staying in Ponyville! (Squeal.) I mean, Ponyville-adjacent!

(Her wild peal of laughter is met by a testy look from the unicorn and an unblinking stare from the new resident, and she quickly withdraws her limbs.)

Pinkie: (hastily) Sorry, sorry, I’m leaving, I promise. I’m not even here.

(That claim goes out the window when she spots Maud’s slippers and lets out a joyous yell.)

Pinkie: You’re wearing the slippers! (backing off toward river) Okay, now I’m really leaving. (galloping away) Bye-bye!

(A moment later, she trots back the way she came with an embarrassed little laugh, now heading toward the entrance that Starlight broke open.)