CANTERLOT BOUTIQUE

 

Written by Amy Keating Rogers

Produced by Devon Cody

Story editing by Meghan McCarthy

Consulting direction by Jayson Thiessen

Supervising direction by Jim Miller

Directed by Denny Lu

 

Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)

 

Note:                   All ponies other than the six main characters are unicorns unless otherwise noted.

 

 

Prologue

 

(Opening shot: fade in to an extreme close-up of several rolls of fabric on the shelves of the storage rack in Rarity’s workspace/living quarters, on the upper story of the Carousel Boutique. As several of these are floated free in her magic, the camera zooms out to frame the morning sky through the window. Cut to her, reading glasses on and hooves serenely stepping across the room; she stops and glances upward after a few paces, and the camera pans/tilts up quickly to a clock high on the wall. It is 9:00 sharp, and she lets all the fabric hit the floor and darts over to stare eagerly out the window, mashing her nose on the glass. When nothing happens for a long moment, she turns glumly away and regards the clock again, seeing the minute hand click ahead one notch. Voicing a deflated sigh, she crosses to her sewing machine and begins running a length of material through it. She begins to hum to herself, but stops dead with a panicked gasp at the sound of a bell ringing; the happy expectancy returns to her face as soon as it fled.)

 

Rarity: Was that the pony post?

 

(She whirls to look behind herself, the camera panning slightly to show her cat Opalescence playing with a toy mouse—the source of the noise. Down go her spirits again.)

 

Rarity: Oh. It’s just you, Opal.

 

(The fluffy feline stands up with a grumble, gets the plaything in her mouth, and stalks off.)

 

Rarity: (moaning, pacing) Every other day he’s here like clockwork, but not today. (Zoom in slowly on the window.) What could possibly be holding him up?

 

(Stop on an extreme close-up of the panes, just in time for Pinkie Pie to pop up outside and mash her face against them.)

 

Pinkie: (slightly muffled) Strawberry-cinnamon-cilantro salutations!

 

(She drops out of sight, the camera zooming out quickly to frame the disbelieving unicorn.)

 

Rarity: What? (Pinkie zips into view behind her…)

Pinkie: “What,” indeed. (…then away to stop near the bed.) I bet you’re wondering what warrants such a welcome. Well, that welcome is warranted by a pony that whisked up a warm batch of strawberry-cinnamon-cilantro cupcakes!

 

(She produces one on the end of this line, then pitches the whole thing into her mouth and chomps down, letting it bulge her cheeks out. Her facial expression suggests that it does not sit too well with her.)

 

Pinkie: That strangely sickening flavor combination sounds just as bad as it tastes.

 

(But she forces herself to swallow it and lets her crumb-coated tongue loll out of her mouth, the poofy magenta mane deflating noticeably at the same time. Cut to the unimpressed Rarity as a plate of these questionable treats is held into view toward her.)

 

Pinkie: (from o.s.) So I came here to offer you some.

Rarity: After that visually descriptive and disturbing endorsement, I’ll pass. (She pushes them away; cut to Pinkie, her mane back to normal.)

Pinkie: Oh! (eyeing underside of plate; something is stuck to it) I almost forgot!

 

(As she continues, she flips the cupcakes away and spins the plate to show the item as an envelope.)

 

Pinkie: I have this letter for you, Rarity. (pulling it off) The post pony was going to deliver it— (Cut to Rarity; she continues o.s., holding it out and yanking it back as the latter tries to grab it.) —but after a strawberry-cinnamon-cilantro cupcake— (To both.) —he was feeling kinda queasy. (holding it out, yanking it back from Rarity) And since I was heading over anyway, I figured I could do it for him.

 

(To the designer once again; the pink hoof holds out the correspondence once more, but does not pull it away this time.)

 

Pinkie: (from o.s.) There you go.

Rarity: (seizing it) Ooh!

 

(She rips the envelope open with enough force to send shreds flying everywhere, then mumbles to herself as she reads quickly through the letter inside while sitting on her haunches. Pinkie passes the time by picking up one of her cupcakes, pulling it into her mouth with her tongue, and chomping with gusto.  When Rarity reaches the end of the letter, she utters a shuddery, smiling cry and claps a front hoof to her forehead.)

 

Pinkie: (mouth full) What’s it say?

Rarity: I GOT IT!!

Pinkie: (turning cartwheels; mouth empty) Woo-hoo! (zipping back) Got what?

 

(During the previous, Rarity stands up, trots giddily in place, and floats the letter at eye level. Next she gasps excitedly and the camera zooms in slowly on her.)

 

Rarity: I have been holding out for the perfect location and it finally became available! So now I can fulfill my dream of opening a boutique in Canterlot!

 

(On the end of this, zoom out quickly to show that Pinkie has cleared out; she pops up in the foreground with a happy squeal.)

 

Pinkie: (ducking away, then hopping past Rarity) I’m so excited, I think I’m gonna lose my cupcakes!

 

(She freezes in midair, clapping hooves to mouth as her cheeks bulge out—her digestive system has rebelled—and bails out in a pink blur. Cut to just outside the room’s window, framing Rarity eyeing the letter one last time; she looks up from it and grins broadly. Zoom out slowly and fade to black.)

 

 

OPENING THEME

 

 

Act One

 

(Opening shot: fade in to the sky above the Canterlot train station and tilt down to platform level as a train pulls in. Twilight Sparkle, the rest of her Ponyville friends, and Spike emerge, Rainbow Dash flying above the others.)

 

Twilight: Rarity’s such a savvy business-pony. I’m so impressed she used the huge bonus she earned making the costumes for Sapphire Shores’ Equestria-wide tour to open this second boutique!

 

(A reference to the events of “For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils.” Cut to the upper reaches of a building whose general shape recalls that of the ornate tents that stand in the grasslands near the Canterlot Boutique. The roof is purple, the walls white with accents in light shades of violet to resemble draperies, and a light blue crystal heart hangs above and between the gold-framed second-story windows. The magenta front door stands on a stoop, between a pair of expansive ground-floor windows framed in purple; it is set with a large, heart-shaped pane of glass, and a two-tone violet awning is mounted above it. This is Canterlot Carousel, Rarity’s new boutique. Cut to the showroom inside and pan slowly across the space. The five visiting mares and one dragon voice reactions of surprise, having gathered in front of a table loaded with refreshments. A staircase leads up to a balcony, racks of dresses are set up on both levels, and balloons and banners are present in abundance, including one decorated with Rarity’s profile. In addition, a curtained platform stands opposite the staircase, elevated off the floor by a couple of steps. Rarity has removed her glasses.)

 

Rarity: I take it from your reaction that you like the boutique? (Cut to Fluttershy.)

Fluttershy: It’s lovely!

Applejack: (stepping toward her) Gosh, Rarity. I know hard work when I see it, and it looks like you worked your hooves to the nub! (Fluttershy nods under the end of this.)

Pinkie: (from o.s.) I don’t know.

 

(Cut to her, hunched down and lifting one of Rarity’s forelegs for a good close look.)

 

Pinkie: Those hooves don’t look nubby. (Zoom out quickly to frame both; she stands up.) They look scrubbied, and buffied, and pedi-ed! (She lowers the hoof.)

Rarity: Well, despite my…nubby, scrubby, buffy pony pedi, I actually have been working very hard. However, I never could have gotten the boutique ready for the grand opening without the help of my new manager… (Zoom out quickly to frame all seven; she gestures across the room.) …Sassy Saddles!

 

(Cut to a close-up of four long, light blue legs stepping ahead. A gently curling, two-tone orange tail hangs into view behind them, and the edge of a gold-accented outfit in two shades of deep purple can be seen as well. A tilt up frames all of Sassy Saddles, a tall, slender mare whose face/head are partly hidden behind the clipboard she floats in front of herself. The outfit is a short dress whose shoulders and hem are styled to resemble flower petals, and which sports a jeweled gold saddle. Her cutie mark is hidden by the skirt, and her eyes are a light orange with dark blue shadow. The style and color of the mane match the tail, and a lowering of the clipboard discloses a streak of magenta on the inside of the portion that curls away from the side of her head. When she fully directs her gaze toward the room, she smiles and speaks in a cultured British accent.)

 

Sassy: Bust my buttons, Rarity! The ponies from Ponyville! (A round of greetings from all but Rarity.)

Rarity: I knew I needed a manager for Canterlot Carousel, so when Sassy showed me her résumé and I saw that she worked in all of the finest boutiques in Canterlot, I hired her right on the spot.

Sassy: (floating up a long, folded-up sheet) I then made out this plan, or “pattern” as we say in the fashion biz, for Canterlot Carousel— (Cut to a slow pan across the other seven; she continues o.s.) —so that Rarity’s boutique will be a guaranteed success— (Back to her.) —and those doors will never, ever, ever close!

Twilight: (crossing to her) Wow, Sassy! Your attention to detail is truly impressive.

Sassy: I’ve already put a pin in the first piece of the pattern—“Beautify the Boutique”!

 

(During the previous line, the camera tilts up to the levitating document, which unfolds to show its first section: a picture of the building, with a pin stuck through it—and then cuts to a zoom out that frames the entire room.)

 

Sassy: But next was the very crucial pattern piece…

 

(Close-up of the sheet; her magic unfolds the next bit, a blaring bullhorn aimed toward a group of listeners.)

 

Sassy: (from o.s.) …“Marketing to the Mares”! (Cut to her.) Turns out that everypony here loves royalty!

Rarity: So I created a collection that beautifully revolves around the royal element of Canterlot.

Sassy: (crossing to Twilight) And it just so happens there’s a hot new princess in Equestria.

 

(Said princess is slightly thrown off by this sudden mention of her status.)

 

Rarity: In every poll Sassy Saddles took, you were the most popular princess. (Sassy walks off.) Coincidentally, one of my gowns is inspired by the window in Canterlot Castle commemorating your coronation!

 

(She ends this line with a gesture across the showroom; cut to Sassy, now standing on the front edge of the curtained platform. Rarity’s magic slides the drapery back to expose a pony mannequin, which is brought forward as she steps up on the other side. Designer and manager proudly point out the gown it wears: translucent skirt transitioning from blue-green to blue-violet through its three layers, dark blue-green material at the short sleeves, small gems and criss-crossing seams arranged throughout to suggest a stained-glass window. Pale blue wings are attached at the shoulders. As appreciative comments are heard from o.s.; cut to the six onlookers moving a bit closer. During the next line, Pinkie looks intently at something out of view and zips off after it.)

 

Rarity: (from o.s.) Well, I’ve always prided myself on paying attention to detail. (Cut to her.) I’ve taken my latest collection to a whole new level with Rarity’s Rules of TLC.

Pinkie: (from o.s.) Judging by this baby—

 

(Pan quickly to an adjoining doorway; she rolls into view through this, riding a mannequin on a wheeled stand. It sports a half-finished yellow/deep-gold/brown outfit with a shaded blue skirt edged in white tufts to resemble a waterfall, and it wears a headpiece built as a solar system model. A workroom can be seen through the doorway.)

 

Pinkie: —“TLC” stands for “Tasty Licorice Candy”!

 

(She slides off the rump, landing on her haunches and pulling the skirt off so that it lands draped over her head.)

 

Rarity: (from o.s., floating it back into place) “TLC” stands for “Time, Love, and Couture.” (Cut to frame all of the Ponyville contingent; Pinkie stands up.) And while I do agree that this dress has potential, I’ve not had enough time to give it enough love to become couture.

 

(Back to Pinkie on this last word; the incomplete getup is magically rolled back into the workroom and the door closed.)

 

Rarity: But the rest of the gowns in tonight’s line have met Rarity’s Rules and are ready to be presented.

Sassy: (stepping down to floor, horn lit) My marketing research also confirmed that customers that viewed somepony famous wearing a gown wish to own that gown for themselves.

 

(Surprise plays across Rarity’s face at this bit of input. Zoom out as Sassy unfurls most of the remainder of her folded business plan drawing for all to see. There are three more drawings beyond the two already seen; in order, these consist of Rarity’s face within the outline of a gold star, a magazine cover featuring her, and Twilight wearing the stained-glass-design gown.)

 

Sassy: I call this piece of the pattern “Celebrity Status”!

 

(Close-up of the star/face drawing on these last two words, then cut to Twilight/Applejack/Rainbow/Spike as Pinkie rejoins them.)

 

Rarity: (from o.s., nervously) So, Twilight… (Cut to her.) …we were wondering if perhaps you might possibly wear this tonight?

 

(Pan slightly to frame Sassy’s sidelong, hopeful gaze in the fore, the focus shifting to her, then cut to Twilight.)

 

Twilight: If being a princess and wearing that dress can help your boutique in any way— (floating a pin up) —then I say, “Stick a pin in it! It’s done!”

 

(On the end of this, tilt up to the floating sheet, putting her o.s. as the pin drives itself into the star’s topmost point.)

 

Sassy: All right, everypony— (magically pushing mannequin back, closing platform curtains) —let’s set the stage! (Pan to Rarity, now on the showroom floor.)

Rarity: Ever since I was a little filly, all I’ve ever wanted was to own a boutique here in Canterlot. Somepony pinch me! (crossing floor) I am about to open the doors to that very boutique!

 

(She finishes with a giddy gasp. Cut to just outside the closed front door, which swings open to reveal her standing just inside. Before she can get a single word out, Sassy whisks up to crowd her back off the stoop, so that she has to hunker down in order to get any view of the street.)

 

Sassy: Welcome to the grand opening of Canterlot Carousel!

 

(Zoom out on the end of this to frame the throngs of ponies who have congregated here. The store’s name echoes slightly over their heads and is met with an enthusiastic cheer. Inside, Rarity recoils a bit toward the others, her mind blown over having her thunder so unexpectedly stolen. Snap to black.)

 

 

Act Two

 

(Opening shot: fade in to Sassy standing just inside the doorway as prospective customers file in past her.)

 

Sassy: Oh, hello! (chuckling) Nice to see you. Welcome, welcome! (Cut to a perplexed Rarity; she continues o.s.) Oh, I’m so happy you could be— (Zoom out slowly; Applejack eases up alongside.)

Applejack: That Sassy totally stepped on your hooves, Rarity! (Pinkie leans into view opposite her.)

Pinkie: Oh, no! (grabbing/eyeing Rarity’s foreleg) Did she mess up that nice pony pedi?

 

(There being no obvious damage to the limb in question, she pats it with a smile and relieved sigh.)

 

Pinkie: Okay. (Set it down…) Phew! (…and duck out of sight.)

Rarity: Oh, I…don’t think she meant to.

Sassy: (from o.s.) Rarity! (Cut to her, walking over.) Are you ready to reveal the collection?

Applejack: (softly, to Rainbow) Is she sure she doesn’t want to do it herself?

Rainbow: (softly, snickering) Yeah.

Rarity: Yes, I am. Uh, Fluttershy, could you help Twilight get ready?

Fluttershy: Oh, certainly.

 

(She walks off and Rarity glances across the showroom floor, the camera cutting to frame the crowd of shoppers, some of whom are taking advantage of the proffered snacks. Two grip cameras in their magic.)

 

Rarity: (from o.s.) Fillies and gentle-colts! (Picture taken; cut to her on the platform.) I am designer and couturier Rarity! I would like to welcome you, again— (Chuckle; overhead shot of the room.) —to the grand opening of Canterlot Carousel— (Close-up.) —and I’m thrilled that you are here to see my newest collection inspired by this regal city.

 

(Zoom out to frame the entire platform on the end of this, after which the curtains slide open to reveal four mannequins tricked out in an assortment of gowns. From left to right, they are as follows. Dark blue skirt speckled with white stars and an edging of larger spots to suggest asteroids; darker blue, short-sleeved blouse with a white crescent moon, stars, and pearls at collar and shoulders; blue-violet bow behind the neck with matching edging at sleeve cuffs. Short, medium green skirt that lightens toward the hem; long under-layer in light blue with white cloud-like edging; light blue band around midsection; a sunburst brooch securing a pair of wings and a small violet collar; pink winged shoes on forelegs. High-collared, medium blue blouse with long sleeves and marked by leaf/rose patterns amid small pale gems cut as bubbles; skirt in shades of light green with more such gems; short white over-skirt designed as an open flower. Long magenta skirt marked with yellow stars; yellow/black belt at midsection; short magenta sleeves with a spiral-striped piece across the chest; small matching “fascinator” hat with a short veil attached.)

 

(Appreciative murmurs drift in her direction; cut to Sassy amid the crowd and zoom in on her as a flashbulb pops. She throws a calculating little grin toward the platform and gets her horn working, floating the four mannequins up off the platform and bringing them past Rarity. The latter shows marked surprise—evidently this was not in the playbook—and watches as the outfits describe a slow circle over the spectators’ heads. The maneuvers expose dark blue, star-speckled shoes on the forelegs of the moon dress; each is set with a white crescent. Rolling her eyes with a measure of disgust, Rarity does her best to regain her composure and steps down off the platform, the camera following until the profile of a stallion’s face comes into view. Dark blue-green coat; red plaid kerchief around neck; blue eyes behind large, tinted square glasses which he frequently raises/lowers with his magic; a fringe of two-tone gray mane hanging into view. This is Fashion Plate, whose flamboyant voice stops Rarity in her tracks.)

 

Fashion: Rarity! I’m—

 

(Close-up of him, tilting slowly up from hooves to head and showing his cutie mark of three yellow stars. The mane and tail are cut short, and the mane is neatly styled.)

 

Rarity: (stepping into view) —Fashion Plate of Cosmare magazine! (He grins at this.) I’m so honored that Cosmare was able to do a piece on the grand opening of my boutique! (Gasp.)

Fashion: Well, when Sassy Saddles calls saying she’s found the latest and greatest in fashion, we hightail without fail! Now tell me all about your latest collection.

Rarity: Ooh! Uh, it’s called “Rarity’s Royal Regalia.”

Fashion: (gasping) Royally radiant! (Cameras snap behind him.)

Rarity: My favorite part of being a designer is finding my inspiration— (Cut to Sassy; she continues o.s.) —and that really wasn’t difficult when it came to Canterlot.

 

(The manager warms up another spell on the end of this; back on the platform, a large framed painting of the city’s tower rooftops descends into view under her control. Rarity does not immediately notice as it touches down behind her; she gets a bit of a mental jolt once she does, but quickly recovers. The coloration and star/stripe patterns correspond to those on the starred gown.)

 

Rarity: Everywhere I looked, the royal city just spoke to me. (The outfit is floated down to her.) I call it “In-Spire-Ation.” (Awed murmurs.)

Fashion: (from o.s.) Genius! (Cut to him.) Simply genius!

 

(Cameras click as Sassy smiles serenely. Another bit of magic shifts the painting and this mannequin away and brings over a banner striped in four pastel shades of yellow/blue/green and dotted with water lilies. The bubbly blue/green gown accompanies it. As before, Rarity is caught out by the unexpected change, but swiftly gets back to an even keel.)

 

Rarity: I spent hours by the lily pond on the castle grounds, which inspired this gown, “Water Filly.” (More murmurs.)

Fashion: Oh, the whimsy!

Rarity: Watching Celestia raise the sun each morning literally lit up my day.

 

(Shafts of golden light shine down on her at an angle as she finishes; it takes her a moment to fully wrap her head around their presence and get her smile back on.)

 

Rarity: This is…

 

(Pan/tilt up from her to the source, a glowing sun that is a large-scale copy of Princess Celestia’s cutie mark. The blue/green cloud-styled gown is levitated into view under Sassy’s control as the radiance fades away.)

 

Rarity: (from o.s.) …“Tripping the Light.” (Murmurs from ground level; cut to Fashion.)

Fashion: Fantastic!

 

(A camera goes off just before all the lights dim, and Rarity climbs to the platform with a giggle.)

 

Rarity: And of course, Luna raising the moon guided me to sleep. (Sassy’s magic brings silver stars down on strings.) I call this…

 

(The lights dim further; pan to show a large, glowing crescent moon hanging alongside in place of the previous backdrops. Standing within its curve is the mannequin with the moon/star dress.)

 

Rarity: …“Over the Moon.” (Another round of murmurs; cut to Fashion.)

Fashion: Well, I certainly am! (Laugh; the lights come back up.)

Rarity: And for our finale, I have something very special. I was inspired by the stained-glass window created in honor of Princess Twilight.

 

(Cut to a close-up of an enraptured Fashion and zoom in slowly as the flashes pop behind him.)

 

Rarity: (from o.s.) So I call this… (Back to her.) …“The Reign in Stain”!

Fashion: Because the dress is inspired by the— (They lean toward each other, cheek to cheek.)

Rarity, Fashion: —stained-glass window of a reigning princess! (Double gasp.)

Rarity: Yes!

Sassy: (from o.s., disdainfully) Oh, well— (Cut to frame her as well.) —I think “The Reign in Stain” is too difficult to explain— (Airy chuckle.) —especially for the signature piece of a collection.

Rarity: But I rather like the— (Sassy steps up in front of her, all smiles again.)

Sassy: Fillies and gentle-colts! (crossing floor; cameras flash) I, Sassy Saddles, am pleased to introduce the grand finale of the grand opening of Rarity’s Royal Regalia!

 

(Stopping at the foot of the staircase, she gestures grandly up toward the balcony in close-up and warms up her horn.)

 

Sassy: The Princess Dress!

 

(On the end of this, the camera pans/tilts up quickly to the top of the stairs and all the lights go out, but there is enough illumination to identify the silhouette here as a fully dressed Twilight. A spotlight picks her out in the stained-glass gown, the tiny gems throwing shafts of reflected light everywhere. As she smiles proudly with head held high, Fashion lets his jaw, ears, and glasses drop and his eyes bug out. He goggles at the sight for perhaps two full seconds before snapping back to himself with a smile and gasp. The lights have come back up by this point.)

 

Fashion: Success!

 

(That sets off a round of very happy exclamations among the crowd; Twilight smiles and waves bashfully down at them, but Rarity’s face shows only confusion and a shot of dismay. She rapidly gets it rearranged into a supporting smile in time for Twilight to descend the stairs.)

 

Sassy: (from o.s.) Everypony… (Cut to her, floating up her clipboard.) …please follow me, and you can all place your orders for… (Zoom out slightly to frame Twilight.) …the Princess Dress! (Murmurs as she walks off; Fashion eases up next to Rarity.)

Fashion: Rarity, I want to be the first pony to congratulate you. And the Princess Dress has just guaranteed Canterlot Carousel’s success!

 

(He pulls in a gasp and walks off toward the crowd, which has concentrated itself near a counter. Sassy stands here, magically running a quill across her clipboard to keep up with the clamoring customers. As Rarity steps down from the platform, Spike and all her friends but Twilight cross to her with a babel of congratulatory words. The Princess in attendance joins them after a moment.)

 

Twilight: Yeah! Rarity’s Royal Regalia is amazing, and everypony seemed to love the Princess Dress. (Rarity rolls her eyes with a humoring smile.)

Sassy: (from o.s.) You bet your saddle they did! (crossing to them, floating up a thick stack of pages) Rarity now has one hundred orders for her signature gown!

 

(That bit of news causes the white unicorn’s jaw to drop in pure shock. It also leaves her stammering for a long moment before she can get any intelligible words out.)

 

Rarity: One hundred orders? All at one time?

Sassy: According to my pattern, the next piece is “The Success of the Signature Dress.” So I do not see the problem.

 

(But the very dirty look and dangerously twitching eye on Rarity’s face tell a very different story. The camera pans away from her and shifts its focus to the rest of the Ponyville crew, save Pinkie, at the snack table and not meeting Sassy’s eyes.)

 

Applejack: (to the others) Uh…

 

(There follows an uncomfortable silence, which gets splintered when Pinkie pops up behind the table, holding a…)

 

Pinkie: Cupcake?

 

(That gets them all moving in her general direction. Pan back to Rarity, who smiles gratefully at the distraction and then shifts her gaze to Sassy, sternly clearing her throat.)

 

Rarity: First of all, Sassy Saddles, I would have appreciated getting to name the final gown from my collection myself.

Sassy: (chuckling) My research shows that your “Reign in Stain” name was a play on words that was both very confusing and quite unappealing.

Rarity: (chuckling) While I see your point, we should have discussed it prior to the grand opening, Sassy.

Sassy: (contritely) My only goal is for Canterlot Carousel to succeed. That’s why I changed the name, and that is why I took all those orders for the Princess Dress.

Rarity: (stammering) But…but receiving orders for one hundred dresses in one day, it…i-i-it’s just too much, too soon!

Sassy: (hamming it up) Are you actually saying we should…cancel these orders?

Rarity: (stammering) No, no, Sassy. Promises were made, and…and I shall sew my very best to provide each and every pony a Princess Dress full of TLC. (Her face falls on the end of this.)

Sassy: (tapping Rarity’s chest, hugging her) Oh, thank you, Rarity! Thank you!

 

(The dressmaker makes herself smile long enough for the manager to break the embrace and walk away, then slumps with a weary sigh—“what have I gotten myself into?” Dissolve to the exterior of the boutique; Rarity watches from one of the showroom windows as her friends wave goodbye and depart. Twilight is no longer wearing the Princess Dress. Rarity returns the wave, the camera cutting to just inside.)

 

Sassy: (from o.s.) Oh, satin and silk, Rarity! (Rarity turns away from the window.) Are you sure you don’t want your friends to help you make the dresses?

Rarity: (crossing past her) No, Sassy. These orders are my responsibility.

 

(Cut to a slow pan across the workroom, bringing her into view during the next line.)

 

Rarity: All I have to do is stick to my plan so I can deliver each and every Princess Dress, in keeping with my Rules of Rarity!

 

(The glow of her horn accompanies the end of this, and rolls of fabric float out from the shelves under her command.)

 

Gentle melody with light percussion, moderate 4 (D major)

Woodwinds/strings/mandolin/bass in at start

Acoustic guitar/bass take over once first verse begins

 

(One of them, light blue-green, unrolls to fill the screen, and a pair of scissors quickly snips its way across. The cut section falls away to expose two document trays side by side—one red, stacked high, marked with an empty square; the other green, empty, with a checked square: IN and OUT boxes. Behind them, the remaining cloth fades away to show Rarity seated on a stool and working intently at a sewing machine in the workroom. The only light comes from the window at which she sits. She has her glasses on.)

 

Rarity:                The Rules of Rarity, guaranteed quality, this I can assure

(A length of fabric floats across, filling the screen; behind it, wipe to her draping a piece onto a bare mannequin as the start of a Princess Dress skirt. Full lights on.)

                            For each and every dress, I vow to give finesse

(Here comes the upper layer to fill the screen; gems are magically set in place and a needle brought in to stitch them on. Pan to Rarity.)

                            With time, love, and couture

 

Woodwinds/strings/mandolin/snare drum in

 

(A wavering dissolve shifts the view to the building exterior, with mares gathering at the windows. One walks past the camera; behind her, wipe to just inside, framing the eager faces gazing intently through the glass. Pan to one mare walking in, her face brightening as she notices a finished dress on display; Rarity steps out from behind it, her glasses off.)

 

Woodwinds/strings/mandolin out

 

Rarity:                My favorite moment’s when a pony sees it

(She smiles to herself as the shopper, now wearing the garment, regards her image in a mirror.)

                            That special gown that she just adores

(She sweeps past the camera, the view wiping behind her to an overhead shot of the showroom and framing her circling happily in place. Zoom in as she picks up speed to become a blur.)

Woodwinds/strings in

                            That pony’s now in style, my hard work’s all worthwhile

(Dissolve to an extreme close-up of a twirling parasol, which she lifts away; now she stands on a Canterlot street. Zoom out as a kneeling stallion gently lifts one of her front hooves and kisses it; two others behind her hold flowers and a box of candy, and she beams over the attention.)

                            Oh, yes, it makes my heart, my heart just soar

 

Mandolin in

All percussion out after two bars

Modulate through several keys to E major

Tempo slows; mood saddens greatly

 

(Another wavering dissolve brings Rarity back into view in the workroom, her glasses on. She is shaken out of her reverie by Sassy’s business-plan drawing floating in through the doorway behind her; turning toward it, she spots the manager eyeing her impassively. Sassy glances back toward the showroom as a couple of mares enter; Rarity starts away from her sewing machine with a broad smile, but a flurry of materials and supplies levitated by Sassy blocks her from getting any closer to the door—more work to be done. Sassy motions for her to get back on the job, then turns away as the items settle onto the counter.)

 

(The fashion expert smiles to herself; meanwhile, Sassy is now talking with the two mares. She floats the In-Spire-Ation and Over the Moon dresses, displayed on the platform, out of view and brings out the Princess Dress to their visible delight. Zoom out through the workroom doorway; Rarity watches these events with some dismay before turning back to the machine. A dissolve frames her in profile, having lost both her enthusiasm and the vibrancy of her purple mane/tail. Another one brings up a slow pan across row on row of mannequins identically garbed in the signature creation.)

 

Bass out

 

Rarity:                The Rules of Rarity, just a parody, no dress here’s unique

(Dissolve to a pan down a block outside the boutique; every mare here is wearing one, and she watches from the window.)

                            The panels all the same, each colored windowpane

(Zoom in on her.)

                            I fashion only makes me want to shriek

 

(She drops out of sight. To the sound of a heavy sigh, the view dissolves to a close-up of her despondent expression; she sits slumped over the counter, glasses off and eyes closed, but with the life restored to her mane color. A multicolored shaft of light makes its way across, hitting her eyes and snapping her back to the here and now.)

 

Mandolin out; tempo and mood brighten

Modulate to G major, then F major and back

 

Rarity:                Oh, to create would give me elation

(Lifting her head, she finds the light being refracted through bowls of brightly colored gems before her and striking a Princess Dress on a mannequin. The room is again dark except for the window light.)

                            To feel once again some inspiration

(A smile steals across her face, overhead view of the bowls as she plunges her hooves in and gleefully tosses their contents up toward the camera. A sparkling red one fills the screen.)

                            Come on now, Rarity, give me some clarity

                            Time for your couture love to rule

 

Snare drum/bass in (F major)

 

(It floats away again, the background behind it having changed to a stretch of Princess Dress material. This gem and several others—all lozenge-shaped—are magically set in place and stitched on; Rarity has her glasses on and her spirits high. Full lights are on.)

 

Rarity:                The Rules of Rarity, extra TLC, this feels more sublime

(She pulls the cloth past the camera; behind it, wipe to a mannequin being clothed in all the parts.)

                            Soon now they will see how good things can be with a little extra shine

(Gems rain down past the camera; behind them, wipe to a semicircle of first-run Princess Dresses. The modified dress is levitated over to stand in front of the others, and she gallops up to lift it by the forelegs, her glasses off. Room dim again.)

                            The Rules of Rarity, guaranteed quality, all can see it’s true

(She swings it in a circle, the view wiping behind it to a close-up of her and then cutting to her perspective of the dummy.)

                            These new gems add such flair, their beauty can’t compare

(Overhead shot, zooming out slowly. She twirls it in the circle of light, sending up scatters of scintillating radiance from the new adornments.)

                            This old style suddenly gleams anew

 

(The glow expands to fill the screen with white as she vocalizes one last note.)

 

Song ends

 

(Fade in to a close-up of a bell hanging inside, above the front door. Said door swings open to set it off, and the camera cuts to just behind a mare walking in. Pale pinkish-gray coat; short, straight mane/tail in two shades of deep red, with a two-tone shock of pink in the mane; cutie mark of two red chili peppers and three seeds. Rarity is in the workroom, her glasses back on her nose and her attention on the modified dress in front of her; cut to a close-up, framing Sassy partly in view off to one side. The lights have returned to normal. Pan to Sassy, marking off items on her clipboard, on the start of the next line; the motion puts Rarity o.s.)

 

Rarity: Is that the customer who ordered this Princess Dress?

 

(Sassy glances up on the end of this; cut to her perspective of the new arrival, now levitating a pocket watch for a closer look. This shot reveals her eyes as bright pink-violet with light blue shadow. Back to Sassy.)

 

Sassy: I’ll take care of her. You keep working.

Rarity: Uh, actually, I’d love to see her reaction to this particular dress.

Sassy: (rolling eyes) Paisley and poplin, Rarity!

 

(Pan away from her to the IN and OUT boxes on a nearby counter, the former still has a healthy stack of orders, while the sloppily piled latter outnumbers it perhaps two to one.)

 

Sassy: (from o.s.) Look at all the orders you still have to finish. (walking into view) And you want to take a break? Now?

Rarity: (as Sassy crosses past her) Well…it’s just…I made some really lovely changes to this dress. (The manager rounds on her, suddenly panicked; she rears up to avoid getting stepped on.)

Sassy: You did what? (Rarity settles back to all fours.) But every Princess Dress is supposed to be exactly the same!

Rarity: Yes, yes, I know. But these gems just spoke to me and—

Sassy: (disdainfully) Fine. Go see her reaction.

 

(To which Rarity responds with a beaming smile. Cut to the pepper mare, looking over a rack of Princess Dresses, and zoom out on the start of the next line to frame Rarity entering the showroom.)

 

Rarity: Hello! (She floats her glasses away…) And welcome to Canterlot Carousel. I’m so pleased to present to you your— (…and floats in the new dress.)

Pepper mare: (excitedly) —Princess Dress! Finally! I’ve been simply desperate to get this ever since I saw Princess Twilight wearing it at your—

 

(It is shifted closer to her on the end of this line, and she exerts her field to take over from Rarity’s. Once she gets a good look, though, her mood shifts from elation to suspicion without even touching the clutch.)

 

Pepper mare: Wait a minute. There’s something…different.

 

(Zoom in to an extreme close-up of the new gems, then cut to Rarity.)

 

Rarity: Well, as an artiste, I did take the liberty to change a few minor details.

 

(Back to the customer, who aims a quizzically cocked eyebrow her way, on the end of this.)

 

Rarity: I— (Nervous chuckle.) —I saw these gems glistening in the light, and they just spoke to me. Aren’t they lovely? And so unique!

Pepper mare: (sighing impatiently) They’re…fine. But they’re not what I ordered… (Zoom in to a close-up.) …are they?

Rarity: (deflated, stammering a bit, hanging head) Uh, no. No, they’re not.

 Pepper mare: I want the dress to be exactly like the one Princess Twilight wore! Understand?

 

(On the end of this, she levitates an open magazine forward to show a two-page photo, then lets it drop on the last word. The picture is of Twilight, smiling and waving in her Princess Dress against a sparkly background of trailing stripes to match the three colors of her mane/tail. A large white P and D stand out from the lines of text.)

 

Rarity: Yes… (horn glowing) …y-ye-yes, of course.

 

Sad acoustic guitar/string melody, reprise of second verse (“My favorite…”)

Slow 4 (C major)

 

(She plods back toward the workroom, the revamped and rejected outfit held in her aura, and passes a concerned Sassy at the doorway. Cut to inside a scrap bin, the camera pointing straight up at the opening, as Rarity glumly lets it drop in to black out the screen. Fade in to the IN and OUT boxes, orders floating from former to latter one at a time.)

 

Rarity:                The Rules of Rarity once stood for something

(Dissolve to her, glasses on and dispiritedly stitching up one Mark One Princess Dress after another as they float onto the mannequin in front of her. Each is sent away as soon as it is finished.)

                            But now it feels just like some factory

(Dissolve to a line of mares in the showroom. Each steps up beneath a suspended round curtain, which Sassy quickly lowers and raises by pulling a rope, and emerges wearing one of the garments. The manager has her clipboard in her magical grip.)

                            Now every dress I make, with every flaw and mistake

(Dissolve to the front stoop, from which the freshly attired mares emerge, then to a close-up of a despairing Rarity.)

Brass sneaks in

                            Oh, how it makes my heart, my heart just break

 

(Her ears droop as the camera zooms out slowly into the showroom; she stands at the workroom door, and her magic closes it to hide both her, and the tears that have started to drip down her face, from view.)

 

Song ends on an ominous, swelling low brass note

(Snap to black at the same time.)

 

 

Act Three

 

(Opening shot: fade in to the workroom and zoom in on Rarity, seated on the stool and running her sewing machine. A few strands of her mane have sprung out of place. Behind her, the IN box is completely empty and the OUT untidily stacked high. A close-up picks out the deep distaste and fatigue that now saturate her countenance; she finishes a bit of stitching and whisks the cloth out from under the needle, past the camera; behind the trailing edge, the view wipes to a row of Princess Dresses on a rack. Pan quickly to the end as one more is floated over and hung up; next one last sheet rises out of the IN box—hidden by its raised edges—and comes to rest atop the OUT pile. Zoom out to frame the entire counter.)

 

Sassy: (from o.s., elated) Raving rickrack, Rarity! (jumping to Rarity, floating clipboard up to her face) You made two hundred Princess Dresses!

Rarity: (woodenly) Yes. (It is floated away.) Isn’t it spectacular.

Sassy: And I have a special surprise for you.

 

(She throws her forelegs around Rarity’s shoulders, then levitates a magazine over to them during the next line. Just as on her business plan, it features the stylish white unicorn on the cover.)

 

Sassy: The latest issue of Cosmare magazine just hit the stands. (Close-up of it.)

Rarity: (from o.s., reading with mild disbelief) “Canterlot’s Newest Rising Star.” (Back to the pair.)

Sassy: (crossing, moving magazine away) And in the hour since the magazine’s come out, we’ve gotten another hundred new orders for the Princess Dress!

 

(As she speaks, she telekinetically maneuvers a fresh mass of paperwork in from the showroom, shuts the door, and lets them slam down in the formerly empty IN box.)

 

Rarity: (dazedly) One…hundred more… (Cut to the boxes; she continues o.s. as a stray sheet settles down.) …Princess Dresses…

 

(Back to the two unicorns, one savoring this latest development and one ready to let its weight crush her off the stool and down to the floor. Zoom in slowly on the latter.)

 

Rarity: I’m the Cosmare cover pony. I have the most successful shop in Canterlot. (Sassy’s magic brings up the clipboard for a look.) I’ve gotten everything I ever wanted. But…I’m…miserable!

Sassy: (chuckling, dropping it) How could you possibly be miserable?

 

(She begins to pace, stopping near a bulletin board on which her business plan is tacked up. For the first time, its full length can be seen, showing one last picture beyond the one of Twilight in the Princess Dress.)

 

Sassy: My pattern is perfect!

 

(Close-up; she leans close to the picture of Rarity on a magazine cover.)

 

Sassy: “Cosmare Cover Pony.” (Magic drives a pin into it.) Done! (Step to the Twilight picture.) You have your signature gown— (Pin it.) —“The Princess Dress of Success”! (Cut to Rarity, rubbing her forehead.)

Rarity: I don’t want to make another hundred Princess Dresses!

Sassy: (from o.s., gasping happily) I have a piece for that!

 

(Close-up of the last drawing: six dress-clad mannequins, arranged in a double line on conveyor belts. Zoom out to frame Sassy standing alongside, floating up a third pin.)

 

Sassy: “Assemble the Assembly Line”! (Drive it home.) You’ll never have to sew again!

Rarity: (aghast) What? (She jumps off her stool.) No!

Sassy: Yes! (crossing room) Then the Canterlot Carousel never closes! And… (Cut to her, floating two dresses off the rack.) …Sassy Saddles’ boutique succeeds!

Rarity: (from o.s.) STOP!! (Cut to her.) This is not your boutique! (crossing to Sassy, magically snatching/throwing down dresses) And if this is what success in Canterlot looks like, I want no part of it!

 

(The white face leans into the blue one, eyes broadcasting such a venomous glare through the tinted lenses that the recipient has no choice but to quail before it.)

 

Rarity: Now, make up flyers for a “Going Out of Business” sale! (turning, walking off) I’m closing Canterlot Carousel!

Sassy: (panicked) What? N-N-No! Oh, you can’t, Rarity! I-I-I’ve worked too hard to make this a success! I-I-I can’t be a part of… (Zoom out through the workroom doorway.) …another failed boutique!

 

(Rarity’s magic pulls the door shut in front of her. Cut to just outside one showroom window; the fed-up fashionista strides through, glasses gone and mane back in order, and levitates the Princess Dress off a mannequin as she passes. She does the same to others when the view shifts to inside the shop; one floats toward the camera and is yanked away, and next she floats a number of dresses in varied other styles and colors from the workroom and deftly hangs them all up. Sassy, now on the balcony, can only watch in total confusion as the wares are arranged for viewing on both upper and lower levels. The banner that had showed Rarity’s profile has been taken down. Cut to a close-up of her on the start of the following; she is speaking to one of the outfits.)

 

Rarity: Ooh, don’t you look lovely. Nice to see you out here again.

 

(After a few steps across the floor, she stops and throws a sharp glance up toward the balcony, where Sassy gloomily averts her eyes without a word.)

 

Rarity: (pointedly, walking off) Seems Sassy Saddles isn’t rushing to open the door this time. Hmm.

 

(Cut to just outside the front door; her magic turns the knob and swings it open to expose her. As she speaks, zoom out to frame a few onlookers on the receiving end of her words.)

 

Rarity: Welcome to the “Going Out of Business” sale of Canterlot Carousel.

 

(She is very nearly trampled by a stampede of mares who waste no time in casting interested eyes of all colors over the goods. The slack-jawed look of shock on her face quickly gives way to a pleased little grin before an orange mare with a curly, two-tone violet mane comes up to her and speaks in a nasal voice.)

 

Orange mare: (levitating a flyer) Hey, is this Princess Dress on sale?

Rarity: Oh, no, I’m sorry, the Princess Dress has been discontinued. (gesturing about) But there are plenty of other lovely dresses on sale today.

 

(The Over the Moon dress is being inspected by a pale blue mare with a long, straight, deep blue mane/tail that curl up at the ends, with an additional curl around the base of her horn. Light brown eyes with dark blue shadow; cutie mark of a deep purple heart surrounded by four waves of blue energy aimed in toward it. She speaks in a low, throaty voice.)

 

Throaty mare: Whoa. This dress completely speaks to my soul. (Rarity approaches.) Can I try it on?

Rarity: (floating it up, letting her get it in her own magic) Certainly! (gesturing; she walks off) The dressing area is right back there. (Chuckle.)

 

(Elsewhere, the Tripping the Light dress has attracted the fancy of a bright pink mare with a messy, two-tone bright yellow mane/tail, light green eyes, and a yellow star surrounded by flecks of light as a cutie mark. Her voice is as perky as a Valley Girl after a dozen or so cups of coffee.)

 

Perky mare: This is the most amazing of amazing dresses! Just looking at it brightens my day!

 

(Rarity’s magic lifts it and the accompanying shoes off the mannequin and passes them over.)

 

Rarity: And I’m sure you’ll feel even brighter once you try it on.

 

(The perky mare trots off, levitating the lot; now a bespectacled, pale gray-white mare steps up. Dark blue-gray eyes, two-tone gray mane/tail, cutie mark of a drafting compass. A copy of Cosmare rides along in her aura.)

 

Drafting mare: (showing a page to Rarity) Do you still have this In-Spire-Ation dress that’s in the new issue of Cosmare?

Rarity: Oh, yes, I do. (Her field swiftly extracts this particular item from a rack.) It’s—it’s right here.

Drafting mare: Bats in the belfry! (taking hold, trotting off with it) I have to try it on.

 

(Close-up of a mirror, in which the reflection of the gowned throaty mare is captured.)

 

Throaty mare: Whoa. This dress makes me feel like a princess. (The perky one pops up alongside, wearing the one she chose.)

Perky mare: (throwing a foreleg around her shoulders) And this dress makes me feel like a princess!

 

(Sassy continues to watch, dumbstruck, from the balcony. Down below, a light yellow-orange mare speaks to Rarity: long two-tone orange mane, red-violet eyes, cutie mark of an open makeup compact. She gestures toward a gown rendered in two shades of pink.)

 

Makeup mare: This gown is quite beautiful, but it totally clashes with my complexion.

Rarity: (stroking chin) Hmmm… (stepping toward workroom) Perhaps you’d be even more taken with this one.

 

(She floats out a mannequin kitted out in the yellow/deep-gold/brown dress with waterfall skirt and solar-system headpiece that she put away as unfinished in Act One.)

 

Rarity: It was inspired by the fountain in the Canterlot Castle garden. (Close-up of it; tilting up from hooves to head; she continues o.s.) I call it “The Fountain of Truth.” (Back to the mare.)

Makeup mare: (rearing up excitedly, putting front hooves together) It’s exactly what I’ve been dreaming of!

Rarity: Oh! (Laugh.) Well, then, I’ll finish it. (She sends it back into the room.) And the gown shall be yours.

 

(The yellow-orange face comes over in an ecstatic smile as its owner trots away.)

 

Rarity: How can I have forgotten? This is what I have been dreaming about!

 

Same melody as second verse of Act Two song

Triumphant mood with brass, snare drum, woodwinds, strings; moderate 4 (D major)

 

(The revitalized designer walks through the knots of happy shoppers.)

 

Rarity:                My favorite moment’s when a pony sees it

(The throaty mare regards herself in the mirror, then smiles at Rarity.)

                            That special gown that she just adores

(The geeky blue-violet earth pony mare who briefed Spike in “Princess Spike” gets magically shoved into a fitting room and yanked out again. Now clad in a loose, light blue wrap dress, she eyes herself with wonder and breaks out in a bucktoothed smile.)

                            That pony’s now in style, my hard work’s all worthwhile

(Close-up of her, zooming out to a long overhead shot of the showroom.)

                            Oh, yes, it makes my heart, my heart just soar

 

Song ends

 

Rarity: Attention, everypony! Canterlot Carousel will not be closing! (Cut to a pan across the crowd, all cheering.)

Throaty mare: But this stuff’s still on sale, right? (Giggle from the o.s. Rarity; back to her.)

Rarity: Yes. Yes, of course. (Zoom out slowly.)

Sassy: (from o.s.) Oh, Rarity…

 

(The camera stops once she comes into view, reaching the foot of the stairs with a pair of saddlebags on her back.)

 

Sassy: …I’m so sorry. I focused on that one dress, and the rest of Rarity’s Royal Regalia paid the price.

Rarity: Well, so did the Princess Dress. The more I sewed, the more each dress lost its time, love, and couture, becoming terrible, lackluster, and common.

Sassy: I think I finally understand the Rules of Rarity— (walking off) —and will apply them at my next job.

Rarity: (affronted) I beg your pardon? The Rules of Rarity are only to be applied at Canterlot Carousel.

 

(These last few words freeze the blue hooves, and Rarity smiles as she makes her way across to the humbled manager.)

 

Rarity: Which is why you must continue to manage the boutique while I’m in Ponyville.

Sassy: (stunned) Ponyville?

Rarity: Oh, yes, I’ll come to Canterlot with new designs and to see the customers, of course— (Close-up.) —but Ponyville was always going to be my home base.

 

(A happy gasp from the o.s. Sassy; zoom out quick to frame her, leaning forward on her front hooves.)

 

Sassy: Oh, bobbins and bodkins, Rarity! (She flips back onto her haunches and shakes Rarity vigorously.) Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! (Release; stand up to all fours.) A-And I promise to run everything following your Rules.

Rarity: I would expect nothing less.

 

(The two unicorns embrace. Cut to a close-up of a sale flyer, seen from behind, floating in the open front doorway. It hides the face of a blobby, light blue-green shape, but leaves two pony ears and a fringe of bright yellow mane in view. The voice identifies this arrival as a mare, and during the next line, the camera zooms out and she moves the flyer aside. She does not resemble a pony so much as a giant water balloon with legs; red-brown eyes with slightly yellowed whites.)

 

Huge mare: Oh, my gosh, a sale!

 

(She trots in, exposing a cutie mark that shows her own bloated face on a white star surrounded by five small orange ones. Rarity and Sassy stare, their minds having blown at least three gaskets each.)

 

Huge mare: Do you have the Princess Dress? (Rarity and Sassy separate.)

Rarity, Sassy: NO!

 

(Both voices laugh over the absurdity of that request as the mare just shrugs confusedly to herself and goes for a look at the dresses on display. Cut to an overhead shot of the room and fade to black.)

 


RARITY INVESTIGATES!

Story by Meghan McCarthy, M.A. Larson, Joanna Lewis, Kristine Songco

Written by Joanna Lewis, Kristine Songco

Produced by Devon Cody

Story editing by Meghan McCarthy

Consulting direction by Jayson Thiessen

Supervising direction by Jim Miller

Directed by Denny Lu

Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)

Note:                All lines marked with one asterisk (*) are delivered as a voice over.

Prologue

(Opening shot: fade in to the exterior of Canterlot Carousel, the shop Rarity opened in “Canterlot Boutique,” seen from across the street during the day. Zoom in slowly as a couple of ponies stroll past, then dissolve to the showroom inside. One mare is on her way out, and a second is completing a purchase with manager Sassy Saddles at the counter. Sassy waves goodbye to this one, a unicorn who heads for the door with a shopping bag in her magical grip. Cut to Rarity near the closed workroom door, floating three pony mannequins past behind herself. First: deep red trenchcoat with pink belt and neckline bow; deep purple, broad-brimmed hat with pink band. Second: loose, long-sleeved, pale blue gown with gold bands at sleeve cuffs and midsection, the latter positioned so that the sleeves pass through it. Third: long-sleeved, dark gray suit consisting of a jacket and skirt; pink fur stole; white dress shirt; black belt and ribbon tie; small, feathered, dark gray “fascinator” hat cocked on side of head with a short veil attached.)

Rarity: Oh, Sassy Saddles, don’t you just love my new Femme Mystique Chic line of gowns? (She starts ahead on the end of this; cut to Sassy as they float past and she follows.)

Sassy: (gasping softly) Sequins and sashes, Rarity, they’re exquisite! (They are floated onto stands at the window; she steps out from the counter.) Where in Equestria did you find the inspiration?

Rarity: Oh!

(Close-up of the blue gown, tilting down slowly from body to hooves.)

Rarity: (from o.s.) I modeled them after the adventures of Shadow Spade. (The trenchcoat; tilt down.) Her stories are always full of mystery and suspense, and best of all…

(She stands up into view on the end of this, after which the camera cuts to frame all three mannequins and zooms out quickly to frame both unicorns. Rarity has dropped to her haunches, with forelegs spread wide to show her enthusiasm.)

Rarity: …fabulous costumes! (Close-up of Sassy.)

Sassy: They’re perfect! (suddenly puzzled) What are you doing?

(The answer: tweaking the position of the trenchcoat dummy ever so slightly while humming to herself.)

Rarity: Oh, uh, just making some minor adjustments.

(Exhaling onto the dark gray suit’s stole, she fluffs it with a hoof; next she drops to her belly and nudges the base of its stand a tiny bit, squinting intently.)

Rarity: Shadow Spade believes it all comes down to attention to detail, and so do I.

(A bit of magic shifts the fascinator to a new angle on the head.)

Rarity: There! Now it’s perfect!

(All is calm in the boutique for exactly as long as it takes the camera to cut to a close-up of the closed door and Rainbow Dash to fling it open with considerable force.)

Rainbow: Hey, guys! (The mannequins topple over.) How’s it—

(The rest of the greeting dies in her throat once she sees the brand-new mess and hears the fearful whimpering from both o.s. unicorns. A shot of the entire room reveals that she has not only wiped out the display, but sent fabrics every which way and swept Rarity and Sassy off their hooves. Orange and blue eyes aim dirty looks toward the stunt flyer, who can only manage a weak chuckle.)

Rainbow: My bad.

(Fade to black.)

OPENING THEME

Act One

(Opening shot: fade in to a close-up of the denuded windowsill. A grunt from the o.s. Rainbow floats up before she rises into view, righting the trenchcoat mannequin. It has lost its hat.)

Rainbow: Sorry I messed up your dress thingie.

(She brushes dust off the sleeves. A longer shot frames all three dummies standing again and both unicorns upright, Rarity doing a little telekinetic touch-up.)

Sassy: Nothing we can’t fix in a stitch. (floating up stacked fabrics, turning to counter) What are you doing in Canterlot?

Rainbow: I’m here for Princess Celestia’s Royal Garden opening tomorrow.

Sassy: (setting stack on counter) Oh, yes! Rumor has it the gardens are especially lush this season. I’ve heard that the Wonderbolts will be kicking things off with an aerial display.

(During the previous, she uses her aura to straighten out two sheets—a short one, which she sends away; and a longer one, which she pulls out to full length and lets curl above her head before propelling it off.)

Rarity: You heard right. And Rainbow Dash is here to fly with them! So exciting!

Rainbow: Well, kind of exciting. (Close-up.) Technically, I’m not flying. I’m just the lucky reserve who was called in to be the backup flyer in case a Wonderbolt can’t perform.

(Recall that she qualified for the Wonderbolt Reserves in “Testing, Testing 1, 2, 3.” Zoom out to frame Rarity on the start of the next line.)

Rarity: Oh, don’t be so modest. Out of all the reserves, you were the one chosen.

Rainbow: (slightly cocky) It is pretty sweet. (hovering around Rarity) And I do get to stay in the castle, hang out with the Wonderbolts, and eat awesome food at the dinner tonight. (A thought hits her.) Speaking of the dinner— (She flies back to look Rarity in the eye.) —you’re still coming, right?

Rarity: Heavens, yes!

(Cut to her; she gallops away to stroke/grip the hooves of the suited/gowned mannequins in turn.)

Rarity: A chance to dress up, be charming, and show off my newest Femme Mystique couture?

(Her field brings the trenchcoat dummy’s missing hat over and settles it at a rakish angle on her head.)

Rarity: I wouldn’t miss it for all of Equestria!

Rainbow: (from o.s.) Great! (Cut to her at the door.) See you tonight!

(The slam that marks her exit sets the mannequins shaking all over again as the camera pans to them, but Sassy is quick to wrap them all in her magic so that they remain standing. She and Rarity let their heads dip and their eyes close in silent relief at having averted a second disaster. However, it comes around again to the sound of the door being thrown open; this time, Sassy has no time to bring her horn into play and the displays crash to the floor. Rarity shoots a murderous glare toward the intruder from beneath the wide purple brim, but she instantly shifts into a big smile.)

Rarity: Ooh!

(She gallops to the door, where a pale green unicorn stallion holds a box on one front hoof. His blue shirt, shorts, and cap mark him as a package delivery employee, and his shorts display a box with wings and trailing dust cloud in the spot covering his cutie mark. Short, untidy, two-tone maroon mane/tail; bored brown eyes; a bit of stubble on the chin. Rarity gets the proffered parcel in her levitation.)

Rarity: The rhinestones I ordered!

(Plunking it on the floor, she undoes the flaps and extracts several wads of paper used for cushioning. A searching look within leads to a disappointed expression.)

Rarity: Oh, my. Oh, there’s been a mistake. (She floats a couple of gems out of the box.) I ordered dragon-cut stones, and these are hoof-polished.

Delivery stallion: (floating up a clipboard) Uh, I’m sorry, but I’ve got a full load of deliveries today. I’m not sure I have time to redo your order.

(The slighted customer stands up to full height, the blue eyes narrowed in the shadow of the hat brim and the mouth curled into a calculating smile. She floats the headwear away and tosses her mane back before crossing to him; in an instant, she sidles up and switches into damsel-in-distress mode. He is so startled that he lets the clipboard fall to the floor.)

Rarity: Oh, of course you don’t. Your job is so difficult. (laughing) Honestly, I don’t know how you keep all of those orders straight.

Delivery stallion: (blushing, rubbing back of neck) Oh, uh, i-it is pretty tough, what with the boxes all being…box-shaped. (Chuckle.)

(On the end of this, cut to a close-up of a wagon stacked with said items and zoom out to show it parked at the curb. The view then shifts to the front stoop of Canterlot Carousel, he now stands here, staring glumly out at the workload, and she is just inside the open doorway.)

Rarity: Oh, ye—ooh, yes. And I very much appreciate it. (easing a bit closer) But if there was any way you could squeeze in one more little delivery, I would be eternally grateful.

(On the second half of this line, cut to an extreme close-up of his chest as she gently lays a front hoof on the blue fabric, then zoom out to frame both. The faint blush and wide brown eyes tell of just how thoroughly his mind has locked up, and she adds a demure little laugh and a bat of her shining eyes to finish the job. He chuckles self-consciously, rubbing the back of his neck again.)

Delivery stallion: Well, for you, Rarity— (floating box after himself) —I’ll see what I can do.

(Off he goes; she closes the door behind him, and the camera cuts to the showroom as she crosses to a most impressed Sassy.)

Sassy: Rarity, you could sweet-talk a filly out of candy.

Rarity: Oh! (Laugh.) It was nothing. (trotting off) Nopony minds a compliment.

(The other unicorn magically adjusts the trenchcoat collar; on the start of the next line, cut to Rarity peeking out from behind the curtains of the room’s elevated platform.)

Rarity: Now you simply must help me pick out an outfit for tonight. (ducking away) Something from the new collection, of course!

(Her faithful manager smiles at this and starts across the room toward her. Dissolve to the ballroom of Canterlot Castle, festooned with streamers/banners/balloons and set out with tables of yummy stuff to bite on—the dinner Rainbow mentioned. There is even a table stacked with gifts near the windows, through which a darkening sunset sky is visible. Flight-suited Wonderbolts are all over the place: partaking of the refreshments, flying back and forth, talking with Princess Celestia as she stands on the stage at one end of the room. Cut to the section of wall immediately above the room’s entrance and tilt down past the open doorway to floor level, where Rainbow and Rarity are entering. The unicorn has donned the gown from her latest fashion line, but in white rather than pale blue, while the flying pegasus has not bothered with any finery. Both stop short, Rainbow putting hooves to cheeks to frame a smile of giddy surprise, and Rarity flicks the end of her own forelock.)

Rainbow: Let’s grab some grub!

(She flies off, Rarity following, and both waste no time in getting plates to load up. As Rainbow flies off with hers, Rarity stops and sniffs deeply of the air.)

Rarity: Mmm! Is that Juniper Phoenix I smell? (Pan to Rainbow, hovering nearby with a now-full plate, on the start of the following.)

Rainbow: No, it’s broccoli!

(Not bothering to take some utensils or even land, she proceeds to gobble down the food she has piled up. Cut to an extreme close-up of Rarity; the sound of a suave, gravelly, deep male voice takes her by surprise, and the camera zooms out to frame the speaker on the start of the next line. It is Wind Rider, a sky-blue pegasus stallion with medium brown eyes and a short, wavy, two-tone dark gray mane/tail. He wears a dark gray bomber jacket with lighter sleeve cuffs and fur trim at hem and collar, and an off-white scarf is loosely knotted around his throat. Lines on his forehead and under his thick-browed eyes speak to his age; his cutie mark cannot be clearly seen at the moment due to the position of his wings. He has filled a plate from the buffet.)

Wind: Yeah, Juniper Phoenix is one of my favorite stallion colognes. (Rainbow freezes in midair, cheeks bulging and eyes staring.)

Rarity: Ooh, mine as well. It’s masculine and yet soft, with the barest hint of floral notes, and it—

(During the previous, the gobsmacked flyer swallows her mouthful, drops her plate to smash on the floor, stares slack-jawed, lets her eyes widen with hooves clapped to mouth, and finally flies up alongside the other mare.)

Rainbow: (whispering) Rarity, don’t you know who this is?

(She backs off as Rarity smiles politely in Wind’s direction; cut to a close-up of him, tilting slowly up from hooves to head. He grins confidently, and the camera zooms out slightly as the designer eases closer.)

Rarity: A gentle-pony with fabulous taste in colognes and scarves? (Rainbow inserts herself between them and frantically waves her off.)

Rainbow: (normal volume) It’s Wind Rider!

Rarity: Ohhhh! (Rainbow smacks a hoof to her own forehead in disgust.) So nice to meet you.

Rainbow: You didn’t let me finish. (Rarity’s perspective of her.) He’s a living legend! (backing up next to Wind, lifting his wing) He holds the Wonderbolt record in the Mustang Marathon!

Wind: Well, that was a long time ago. (She lets go and backs off; stars pop in her eyes.) Honestly, I can’t believe I still hold the record.

Spitfire: (from o.s.) Wind Rider!

(She flies over to the gathering, goggles on forehead. Accompanying her is a second Wonderbolt, a cream-colored mare with a two-tone light blue mane/tail who has her goggles over her eyes. This is Misty Fly.)

Spitfire: I see you met Rainbow Dash. She’s one of our most promising reserves. (They land; her voice turns sly.) She just might beat your record. (Nudge, nudge.)

Wind: (to Rainbow) Really now!

Rainbow: Oh… (Nervous laugh.) …I’m nowhere near as good as you. (Zoom in to a close-up.) I-I mean, I’m fast, but I-I don’t have the endurance to go long distances.

Spitfire: (from o.s.) Aw, don’t be modest. (Cut to her and Misty.) A little practice and you’ll be beating records in no time.

(The latter nods at these words; zoom out to put Wind in the foreground.)

Wind: (chuckling, to Rainbow/Rarity) Well, it’s nice to meet you fillies. (He walks off, leaving Rainbow to voice an awed little sigh.)

Rainbow: (saluting) Not as nice as it is to meet you, sir.

(His departure fully exposes his cutie mark: an old-style leather aviator helmet and goggles, with wings mounted at the ears. Rainbow manages a shaky laugh, full of air, then drops into a bow during the next line.)

Rainbow: I can’t believe I just met Wind Rider!

Misty: Yeah. He’s coming out of retirement to take the spot of honor in the center of our Aerial Flower Formation tomorrow. (Rainbow snaps up with a gasp and plants both front hooves on her chest.)

Rainbow: Really? (Another gasp.) That’s incredible!

(Calming down a notch, she takes her hooves away. Cut to a shot of Celestia, now down off the stage, and Wind kissing one of her front hooves; zoom in slightly on the stallion, then cut back to the four mares. Spitfire and Misty fly off, not seeing Rainbow’s spirits drop into her hooves, and Rarity floats a cup to herself from a nearby table.)

Rainbow: Guess I’ll just watch Wind Rider being awesome from the sidelines. (Close-up.) Practice tomorrow is gonna be so boring. (Zoom out to frame Rarity on the next line.)

Rarity: I don’t suppose I could keep you company? (Rainbow instantly brightens.)

Rainbow: You could! (hugging her; the cup falls) They always let friends and family come watch practices!

(Punch ends up splashed all over the immaculate gown, as the flyer discovers when she backs away. The unicorn gets out a half-strangled noise of surprise that turns into a dismayed cry; cut to an extreme close-up of the cup sliding slowly down the white fabric.)

Rainbow: (from o.s.) Oop. (Chuckle.) Sorry about that. (It drops free; she leans in close.) Let me help clean that up.

(Her plan becomes abundantly and horrifyingly clear to Rarity when she snorts in a huge breath, raises a front hoof, and prepares to hock a loogie onto it.)

Rarity: (hastily backing off) Uh, no, no. (Rainbow swallows.) It’s almost impossible to get stains out of silk.

(She uses her magic to slide a large trunk into view, stopping it in front of herself.)

Rarity: But not to worry.

(The lid flips open toward the camera, hiding her from view, and she ducks behind it for a split second. Just as quickly, the lid closes and the trunk is slid away to expose a completely new outfit: short-sleeved red-pink gown, short cape laid over it with a slightly different hue and secured by pink/red-pink sashes tied across the chest, small, matching feathered hair clip.)

Rarity: (walking off) I’ve come prepared!

(She completely misses the very funny look and eye roll that Rainbow sends her way. Dissolve to just outside the ballroom doors, from which Spitfire exits, followed by Rainbow and Rarity. Two pegasus guard stallions are on duty.)

Rarity: That dinner was absolutely divine. Thanks for inviting me.

(They move on to another corridor whose windows give a clear view of the darkened, star-filled night sky. Behind them, one side of the curtains adorning one window has come loose from its securing rope, which has fallen to the floor.)

Rarity: Ooh, you’re staying in the east tower? Those rooms have the best view of Canterlot! (Spitfire stops at one door.)

Spitfire: How lucky are we? (opening it, walking in) Well, we better get some shut-eye before practice. (The door closes.)

Rainbow: (flying off) See you tomorrow, Rarity!

Rarity: (singsong, calling after her) Good night!

(She heads back the way they all came in. Dissolve to the bright sun in a peaceful morning sky and pan/tilt down to the cliffside, cloud-built racetrack that served as the venue for the Wonderbolts Derby in “Sweet and Elite.” As squad members zoom around the area, the camera cuts to the highest-tier box seats—from which Rarity watched that earlier race at the invitation of Fancypants—and tilts down to Rainbow and Rarity sitting on their haunches in the topmost row of the lower grandstand section. The fussy unicorn is no longer wearing her replacement gown and has brought along a bottle of sunscreen, which she is applying to her forelegs and face. Rainbow sighs contentedly.)

Rainbow: Thanks for keeping me company, Rarity. If you weren’t here— (Rarity floats the bottle up and squirts out a dollop; Rainbow scratches the back of her neck.) —well, I don’t know who I’d be talking to right now.

(She gets a little dab on the end of her nose for making this creaky joke. Both smile as Soarin’ lands behind them.)

Soarin’: Uh, you’d be talkin’ to me. (He tips his goggles onto his forehead. The sunscreen is now gone from Rainbow’s nose.) Rainbow Dash, Spitfire’s mom sent a message that she was sick. She had to leave to take care of her. (Rainbow gasps; he walks off.)

Rainbow: Oh, no! I hope her mom’s okay.

Soarin’: Me too. (Stop.) In the meantime— (turning to point at her) —we need you to fly in her place.

(This request hits her like a cement block to the cranium. Cut to an extreme close-up of her constricted eyes.)

Rainbow: L…l-like… (They go huge and shiny.) …in the actual show?

Soarin’: Unless Spitfire comes back, yes. (She stands up in a blink.)

Rainbow: (saluting) I won’t let you down, Soarin’!

(Professional poise goes down the garbage disposal perhaps a second later, when she takes off straight up with a yell of sheer joy and corkscrews upward.)

Rainbow: This is the best thing ever! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! (strutting/dancing, singsong) I’m gonna get to fly with Wind Rider and the Wonderbolts, ’cause I’m the bestest and I’m awesome and they know it—

(Cut to Rarity and Soarin’; she continues under the next two lines with a string of “uh-huh” repetitions and a “yeah” or two mixed in.)

Soarin’: (addressing himself upward) Uh, Rainbow Dash?

Rarity: (whispering) Shh, shh. Let her have this, darling.

(Zoom in to a close-up of her face as she lifts it toward the sky. Around her visage, the background dissolves to a different stretch of seating; zoom out to show her as one of several spectators now sitting in that top-tier box. Rainbow and Wind rocket upward, side by side, and return in a carefully coordinated double swerve past the pennant flying from the roof. A turn brings them around to open air, and Rainbow pulls ahead of Wind while waving in Rarity’s general direction. Caught off guard at being outpaced even for this short moment, Wind hardens his expression and closes the gap.)

(In the box seats, Rarity returns the wave as a yellow-orange pegasus mare walks to her. Two-tone orange mane; purple sweater with lighter collar/cuff/hem trim; red-pink eyes with blue-violet shadow; pearl earrings and necklace; cutie mark of a rocket whose tail fins are two different shades of orange. This is Stormy Flare, whose lined face points to the age difference between the two of them as Wind’s did. Rarity is a bit surprised at the new arrival, but quickly gives a welcoming smile.)

Rarity: Hello there. (Stormy sits on her haunches.) Friend or family?

Stormy: Family. (Close-up.) My daughter’s a Wonderbolt. (shading eyes, gazing skyward) But I don’t see her up there. Do you know Spitfire? (Pan to Rarity.)

Rarity: Ooh, you’re Spitfire’s mum? (puzzled) But I thought you were sick.

Stormy: What?

Rarity: Well, Spitfire got a note from you saying you weren’t feeling well, and…she went home to take care of you.

Stormy: I didn’t send a note. (Zoom out to a long shot of the box; Soarin’ whooshes past, goggles over eyes.)

Rarity: (softly, hard-edged) That’s so strange. (He doubles back to get a good look at them.)

Soarin’: Stormy Flare? (Goggles up.) Aren’t you supposed to be sick? (Misty and two other Wonderbolts gather in for a look.) ’Kay, what’s happening?

Stormy: I don’t know. (They pull in near the box.) But I do know I didn’t send my daughter a note.

Rarity: Could somepony have sent Spitfire a fake note?

Misty: Who would do such a thing?

Soarin’: (crossing forelegs) Somepony who wanted her out of the show, I suppose. (Rainbow rises to their level.)

Rainbow: Why would anypony want that?

Wind: (flying into view behind her) Maybe so they could take her spot.

(In less time than it takes to say “call my lawyer,” the backup stunt flyer finds herself on the wrong end of distrustful glares from one retired and five current Wonderbolts. Cut to an incredulous Rarity and Stormy, the camera zooming in slowly on the former, and snap to black.)

Act Two

(Opening shot: fade in to an extreme close-up of a patch of closed curtains within Canterlot Castle. Rainbow rises into a hover before this, putting one front hoof to her chest.)

Rainbow: Me?

(A longer shot reveals that she is in a dressing room, backed up against the curtains by no fewer than seven Wonderbolts. Among the group is Soarin’, his goggles still up. Stormy stands behind them, looking more surprised than angry.)

Rainbow: I-I would never do that to Spitfire! Why would you think it was me?

(One of the performers, Blaze, gets in her face. Mare; light yellow coat; short, swept-back orange mane; goggles over eyes.)

Blaze: I did see you and Spitfire leave the dinner together.

Rainbow: We were room neighbors in the castle! (Here comes Misty on her other side.)

Misty: And you did say you would do anything to fly with Wind Rider.

Rainbow: Yeah, but I didn’t mean anything! (Close-up of Soarin’.)

Soarin’: Spitfire came by my room and told me she had to go see her mom at around midnight. Where were you then? (Pan to Rainbow and Misty on the end of this.)

Rainbow: I was asleep at midnight— (A thought bubble forms above her head; tilt up toward it.) —having this totally amazing dream.

(The bubble, which now fills the screen, shows a clear sky above the waving roof pennant of the racetrack’s top box. Cheers float up from the imaginary ground level as four flyers, including a fully suited-up Rainbow and Wind, hurtle across. The view is ringed with white to clearly mark this as a dream.)

* Rainbow: (with growing fervor) There I was, at the arena— (She does a flip/roll to cruise upside down above Wind.) —flying with Wind Rider and the Wonderbolts— (Pull out a camera; aim it at him.) —like I’ve always wanted to—

(The flash clears away to frame her in the here and now, realizing that her description may not be doing her any favors. Her voice catches in her throat for a moment.)

Rainbow: Uh, never mind. (hoof to face) Not helping.

(A round of urgent whispers floats across to her; cut to frame the entire room. The Wonderbolts have huddled in for a quick sotto-voce conference; Soarin’ is the first to break out and address her.)

Soarin’: Rainbow Dash, if you can prove that somepony else is behind Spitfire’s disappearance before the start of the show, then you can still fly with us. In the meantime…Misty Fly, Blaze. (These two step up and salute with a wing.) Head over to Stormy Flare’s house, and try to find Spitfire and bring her back. (Take off; he steps toward Rainbow, now deadly serious.) I have to warn you—if you sent that letter, the bylaws are clear. I’d have no choice but to ban you from the Wonderbolts forever. Understand?

Rainbow: (sighing heavily) I understand. (He turns back to the others.) But how am I gonna prove I didn’t send a letter that I didn’t send?

(Cut to a black silhouette of a mare standing against a dark gray background. A broad-brimmed hat covers the head, tilted low over the eyes, and a coat collar is turned up, but the voice instantly gives away the identity.)

Rarity: With me!

(Wonderbolt eyes turn toward her, and the unicorn steps out from behind a column. She has put on the trenchcoat and hat from her collection.)

Rarity: Detective Rarity is on the case, and we are going to get to the bottom of this faster than my costume change!

Rainbow: Yeah, what’s with the getup?

Rarity: Obviously I am channeling Shadow Spade through these gorgeous garments. (Close-up of Rainbow, rolling eyes wearily; she continues o.s.) And she would say that the best way to prove that you didn’t send the letter is to find out whoever did!

(She leans hard toward Rainbow on the end of this, giving a gimlet-eyed glare. Extreme close-up of one white front hoof being raised into the air.)

Rarity: (from o.s.) First stop… (Tilt down to follow it, framing the entire group; she points ahead.) …the scene of the crime!

(A column drifts past the screen; behind it, the view wipes to a black-and-white shot of the two friends making their way slowly along a corridor. Rainbow flies and Rarity walks as a slow, melancholy jazz tune begins—piano, drums, bass, muted trumpet. The night sky shows through the windows behind them. The edges of the screen are slightly washed out, as if the scene were being played from an old film reel.)

* Rarity: We had a long road ahead of us, Rainbow Dash and I. (Another column passes; wipe to a close-up of her.) Well, not too long because we didn’t have much time, but the point is—

(The camera tracks quickly around to frame her in a head-on shot.)

* Rarity: —I was up for the challenge.

(Snap to black and tilt down into one of the castle’s bedrooms. Rainbow has pulled open a desk drawer and is looking through it; after a moment, she slides it closed and flies over to sit on the bed, where she opens a drawer of the nightstand. In the foreground, Rarity stands up into view, levitating and peering through a large magnifying glass.)

* Rarity: There I was, surveying the crime scene— (Seeing her reflection in the surface, she pauses to admire herself.) —and looking très chic while doing it.

(The patch of floor at her hooves gets a bit of scrutiny; next she lets her eyes widen in surprise, and the camera zooms out slightly to frame the case. Lying a few feet away on the tiles is an envelope; close-up of it as her magic lifts it away.)

Rarity: (from o.s.) This must be the envelope for the letter Spitfire got!

(So this is the Wonderbolt’s quarters, then. She sniffs deeply at the bit of stationery, opens the flap, and inverts it. Out comes a small tuft of rainbow-striped hair—seen not in black and white, but in muted color—to drift down onto her upraised hoof.)

Rarity: (from o.s.) Hmm. (Cut to frame both.) These look like hairs from a rainbow mane!

(The wearer of the mane in question lets her jaw drop to full length, absolutely floored by the discovery, and swallows hard.)

Rainbow: That’s not good.

(She slumps in midair and flies lackadaisically away, the camera zooming in to an extreme close-up of the sleuth’s eyes as the light narrows to a horizontal band that highlights them.)

* Rarity: Rainbow Dash was getting antsy. (Normal light resumes; she crosses the room and adjusts her hat brim.) But I had faith I could clear her name and find the real culprit.

Rainbow: What are you doing?

(In an instant, the jazz stops and full color restores itself to the scene. A change in the camera angle picks out the fact that Rarity has stopped to admire her image in the room’s full-length mirror.)

Rarity: (flustered) Huh? Uh, what? O-Oh, just thinking thoughts.

(The accused flies through an open door into an adjoining room. Once she is gone, the black-and-white re-establishes itself and the jazz resumes; she begins to pace the floor in a profile close-up.)

* Rarity: Rainbow Dash was right. In order to solve the mystery, we had to be focused. Driven. One hundred percent in the—

(Full color; jazz stops; zoom out quickly. She has reached the half-undone curtains outside Spitfire’s room.)

Rarity: (excitedly) Ooooh! (stroking fabric) The damask pattern on these curtains is exquisite! (eyeing the still-fastened side) Oh, and this velvet rope holder! Oh, it’s just— (Zoom out slightly; Rainbow hovers just behind her.)

Rainbow: (groaning, hoof to face) We don’t have time to look at the décor! (Close-up.) They’re gonna kick me out of the Wonderbolts unless we solve this thing!

Rarity: (from o.s., dramatically) I know, Rainbow. (Cut to frame both.) And I am on this case like a charm on a bracelet. (pacing) Here’s what I’m thinking. (Rainbow catches up.) Somepony had to bring Spitfire that letter, which means— (Both stop.) —somepony must have seen them!

(On the end of this, she points ahead with a smile and the camera cuts to a long shot of the closed double doors at the far end of the corridor before her. It is the same one that served as the ballroom exit for the previous night’s dinner. Zoom in quickly; the two pegasus guards who were on duty have been joined by a third, and all are enjoying a moment of levity. One has a red helmet crest and tail, one blue, one purple.)

(Black and white resumes, as does the jazz: the three guards sit side by side behind a table in a room with bare stone walls, fidgeting under the glare of a single ceiling light.)

Rarity: (stepping into view) I just have a few questions for you, and I’m sure once we get some things cleared up, we’ll—

(Color fades into the scene and the jazz winds to a stop, as if coming from a record player that has been shut off. A zoom out on the start of the next line frames an irritated Rainbow addressing her.)

Rainbow: Come on, Rarity, we don’t have all day! (She leans into the red-crested guard’s face.) Where were you on the night of last night at midnight?

Red: We were here, guarding the hallway entrance like we were supposed to. (Rainbow now leans against the table, supporting herself with one bent foreleg.)

Rainbow: A likely story.

Red: I’m telling you, we were there all night, and no one went in or out of that hallway. (The blue-crested one thinks for a moment, then speaks.)

Blue: ’Cept for you. (Rainbow leans into his face.)

Rainbow: What are you trying to say?

Blue: Just that there are only two rooms in the northwest wing, yours and Spitfire’s. So the only other pony who had access to that wing was you.

[Continuity error: This contradicts Rarity’s Act One comment about being given quarters in the castle’s east tower.]

(His assertion throws a goodly amount of sand into Rainbow’s mental gears, and she backs away from the table without taking her front hooves off it. Black and white view, jazz resumes: Rainbow settles to all fours as Rarity watches from across the room.)

* Rarity: The waters were getting choppy. Rainbow Dash’s tactics were, well…horrid. (Extreme close-up: she opens her eyes to gaze levelly ahead.) It was time for another approach.

(Back to the table.)

Rarity: (from o.s.) Perhaps I should take it from here?

(The pegasus under suspicion grimaces mightily upon glancing back toward her, and a cut to the gumshoe tells the story. Rarity has changed into the dark gray suit and fascinator she designed and draped herself fetchingly across a couch that was not there before. A moment later, she is crossing past a gobsmacked Rainbow to stop near one end of the table, having adopted her best come-hither attitude.)

Rarity: You castle guards have… (circling behind Red, stroking his shoulders) …such a difficult job. I’m guessing that at times it can be rather… (Extreme close-up; she speaks softly into his ear.) …boring.

Red: It is. I’ve counted all three hundred and forty-five bolts in the ceiling tiles two hundred and ninety-three times.

Rarity: (pacing behind the three) And of course, being a castle guard can be thankless work. (Close-up: she stops behind Blue.) I’m not saying you did— (touching one of his front hooves) —but if you took a break, you more than deserved it.

Red: (from o.s.) Ah, you’re right. (Pan to him.) We don’t get a lot of recognition for what we do. (Longer shot, framing all five ponies.)

Blue: Except for last night, when somepony was nice enough to leave a cake for us. So we did take one little break when we ate that cake.

(Rainbow’s pleading look gets cut off when Rarity shoves her aside, having instantly switched back to her trenchcoat and hat and gone all business.)

Rarity: What kind of cake was it?

Blue: Cherry with a custard filling. (Profile close-up: she climbs onto the table to watch him even more closely.)

Rarity: Was the frosting vanilla or chocolate?

Red: (from o.s.) Chocolate. (Zoom out to frame him; she scrambles to his end.)

Rarity: Was the base of the cake decorated with buttercream rosettes?

Red: It was.

Rainbow: (groaning loudly, settling down from hover) Who cares how it was decorated?!?

(Extreme close-up of the grayed-out blue eyes, looking sidelong at the room from under the hat.)

* Rarity: Rainbow Dash was questioning my methods. But I knew what I was doing.

Rainbow: (from o.s.) Do you?

(Those eyes go very wide as the jazz winds to a stop, and the camera zooms out as normal color re-establishes itself.)

Rarity: Oh! Oh, ooh. (stammering a bit.) Did I say that one out loud?

Rainbow: (panicky) I mean, even I think I’m guilty at this point! (dropping to haunches, pawing at Rarity’s coat front) I really did want to fly in that show! (Close-up.) What if I wrote that note when I was asleep? Do you know what I do when I sleep? Because I sure don’t! (Tilt up to Rarity’s serene face.)

Rarity: Oh, calm down, Rainbow Dash. We’ll get to the bottom of this. (Rainbow backs off; she turns toward the table.) There’s only one bakery in Canterlot that makes a chocolate cherry cake with custard filling and buttercream frosting rosettes, and that’s…

(Black and white, with jazz: the upper story of a building, tilting down slowly to a long overhead shot of the street on which it stands. Rainbow and Rarity pass a few sidewalk tables on their way to the front door, the latter having changed into yet another outfit whose details cannot be completely discerned at the moment due to the camera position.)

* Rarity: …Cinnamon Chai’s tea and cake shop!

(Cut to a close-up of a unicorn mare standing at one table: apron; dark eyes with shadow on lids; long, dark, well-coiffed two-tone mane/tail. This is Cinnamon Chai, whose voice carries an even more exaggerated version of Rarity’s cultured accent. On the start of the next line, zoom out to frame both Ponyville mares and the details of Rarity’s new threads. Long, light-colored skirt with a dark under-layer and a short, polka-dotted over-layer; two-tone belt at midsection; sleeveless, high-collared, light-colored blouse with a large, dark ribbon tie; dark buttoned shoes on the forelegs. She has tied her mane back in a curling ponytail. Cinnamon turns as she speaks, showing a cutie mark of a bowl of cake batter with a cinnamon stick half-submerged in it.)

Cinnamon: Hello. How can I help you?

Rarity: I’ve heard you have the best chocolate cherry custard cake with buttercream frosting rosettes in town. (Cinnamon voices a short, high laugh.)

Cinnamon: You travel in the right circles. (floating up a dirty cup, wiping it with a cloth) We have the only chocolate cherry custard cake with buttercream frosting rosettes in town.

(Pan quickly from her to the shop’s front window, where a multitude of sweet goods are on display—as is one conspicuously bare doily. Zoom in on this.)

Rarity: (from o.s.) Oh, no! But somepony’s already bought it. (Zoom out to frame her and Rainbow.) Who was the lucky pony? (Cut to Cinnamon, who thinks hard before responding.)

Cinnamon: I can’t even say.

Rarity: (from o.s.) Why? (She steps in close.) Because it was somepony famous?

Cinnamon: No, because it was hard to tell.

(She ponders again, a thought bubble forming overhead and a pony mannequin appearing within. Each named item appears on the dummy in turn, along with a broad-brimmed hat.)

Cinnamon: She was wearing a trenchcoat, sunglasses, and a scarf around her head that covered most of her face. But I do remember she had a really deep, raspy voice.

Mannequin: (Rainbow’s voice) What do you mean, raspy? (The bubble poofs away.)

Cinnamon: Well, kind of like yours.

(Cut to Rainbow. This is exactly what she did not want to hear, if her staring eyes and the hard swallow she forces down tell an accurate story. Zoom out to frame Rarity on the start of the next line.)

Rarity: If there’s anything else you can remember, dish. (She steps closer to Cinnamon.)

Cinnamon: Well, have I got a story for you! (Both lean over the table toward each other; zoom in slowly.) The pony who bought the cake threw a big fit when she accidentally got chocolate ganache on her scarf.

Rarity: That’s terrible! (She props her chin on her hooves.) What color was the scarf?

Cinnamon: White! (Pause.) No…maybe more of an ivory. (Extreme close-up of Rarity’s face.)

Rarity: You don’t say!

(Zoom out quickly to frame Rainbow behind her as color returns and jazz stops. The new dress: white blouse/skirt; pink over-skirt dotted with two darker hues; deep magenta/pink belt, deep magenta ribbon tie/shoes/under-skirt; pink buttons and bows on the shoes.)

Rainbow: I can’t believe you’re talking fashion at a time like this!

(Cut to her, approaching the table, and pan to bring Rarity into view on the start of the following.)

Rarity: Rainbow, don’t panic. I need you to trust me.

Rainbow: Trust you? You’ve spent more time changing clothes than trying to help me!

(Overhead shot of the table. Now Cinnamon’s colors become clear: pale brown coat, reddish-brown mane/tail, deep purple eyes.)

Rainbow: (hovering) I’m doomed!

Rarity: No, you’re not. (walking off) Come on!

(Her face radiating the deepest level of uncertainty about the amateur detective’s competence, Rainbow swivels in midair to follow. Dissolve to a black-and-white view of an apartment building’s window that gives onto a fire escape. Rain pours down as the jazz resumes, but now the source of at least part of it becomes apparent: a stallion garbed in trenchcoat and hat, sitting on the windowsill and playing a muted trumpet. Tilt down to an overhead shot of the sidewalk; Rarity, back in her own coat and hat and with her mane in its usual style, walks along while levitating an umbrella to keep the rain off herself. Rainbow flies slowly alongside, getting thoroughly soaked.)

* Rarity: Rainbow Dash was obviously upset. (Ground level; three ducklings walk past and down the street.) But I had all my ducks in a row. Except…  (A fourth scurries to catch up.) …one.

(It topples into a puddle. Cut to a close-up of the disaffected pegasus.)

* Rarity: She was not going to like it. (Zoom out; Rarity glances back from the corner of her eye.) But there was only one way to find out if my suspicions were correct.

(Jazz ends; cut to a full-color long shot of the racetrack and zoom in slowly on the adjoining castle tower as Blaze and Misty fly into view toward it. Another cut shifts the view into the dressing room seen at the start of this act; the door opens and the two mares enter. Soarin’ sits on his belly, eating a pie; Fleetfoot hovers restlessly near the curtains; Wind sits on a stool off to one side, next to Stormy.)

Blaze: We looked everywhere, but Spitfire wasn’t at her mom’s house.

(Close-up of Stormy and Wind. The latter’s scarf is tied differently from the dinner in Act One.)

Stormy: Where could she be?

(Sound of the door behind flung open; pan quickly to Rarity at the threshold, having ditched her umbrella, with a fully dry Rainbow right behind. A flash of lightning turns the view to black and white and starts the jazz anew.)

Rarity: (pointing ahead) I’ve found the culprit!

(Soarin’ trades an apprehensive look with Fleetfoot and swallows hard, Blaze and Misty glance uneasily at each other, and Rarity paces slowly past the two eldest pegasi in the room.)

Rarity: Somepony sent Spitfire away and framed Rainbow Dash for it. (Close-up.) And that pony was none other than… (Stop; point back the way she came.) …Wind Rider!

(On the end of this, pan quickly back to the stallion, whose expression hardens as lightning cracks the sky again. Gasps and murmurs from the o.s. Wonderbolts; cut to Rainbow, who slaps a hoof to her face in disbelief—“has she completely lost her mind?” Snap to black.)

Act Three

(Opening shot: fade in to an empty stretch of the dressing room, against which a shocked Rainbow stands up into view. Full color has been restored, and the jazz has stopped.)

Rainbow: Rarity! I can’t believe you would accuse Wind Rider of framing me! (She flies over to the two.) He’s a living legend, for pony’s sake!

Rarity: All the evidence points to him.

Rainbow: (scoffing) What evidence could you possibly have? (Slide to the snack table.) All you did was ask about cake— (Fly up to the curtains.) —admire décor— (Knock Rarity’s hat off.) —and change outfits a gazillion times!

(The fashion-conscious investigator maintains complete calm.)

Rarity: Let me explain. (pacing) I never believed you would send Spitfire away. (Cut to Rainbow and Wind; Rainbow lands as she continues o.s.) And when we found the rainbow hairs in Spitfire’s room—

(Close-up of her coat pocket, zooming out as she floats a small plastic bag up from it. Inside is the bit of multicolored hair she found while she and Rainbow were searching the place.)

Rarity: —I could tell they didn’t fall out. They were cut!

(Zoom in to a close-up of the bag on the end of this, showing that the ends have an appearance consistent with being snipped straight across. Cut to a slow pan across Stormy with Blaze/Fleetfoot/Misty/Soarin’, all well and truly puzzled by this revelation.)

Rarity: (from o.s.) Nopony loses hair in a chunk. (Back to her, floating the bag up.) And look at the ends. It’s a straight line! (Back it up.) They were clearly cut with shears! (pacing) Which means somepony planted it!

(Cut to a black-and-white shot of Rainbow and Rarity in Spitfire’s room. The former has her hat back on and is floating the envelope from the faked note at eye level to scrutinize it, while the latter sits sullenly on her haunches atop the bed and lets her hind legs dangle over the side. The jazz starts up.)

* Rarity: Then, when we were examining Spitfire’s room— (Extreme close-up; she sniffs the item.) —I smelled something on the envelope. (Eyes pop.) Juniper Phoenix! (Fierce smile.) Wind Rider’s cologne of choice!

(Outside in the hallway; she advances toward the main doors as Rainbow stands on her hind legs, lounging against a column with forelegs crossed impatiently.)

* Rarity: Then, in the castle hallway— (Stop to inspect the curtains.) —I noticed some of the damask curtains fell out of their velvet rope holder— (Think, stroking chin.) —indicating that somepony had been hiding behind them!

(The present: she now faces Wind down at close range. Full color; no jazz.)

Rarity: Perhaps after they dropped off the fake letter?

Wind: Juniper Phoenix is a very popular fragrance, and anypony could’ve moved those curtains.

Rarity: Precisely why I questioned the castle guards.

(Black and white, jazz on: overhead shot of two guards on duty at the ballroom doors.)

* Rarity: They were at their posts, at the entrance to the hallway, all night. (The third guard approaches.) Except for a small window of time when somepony brought them cake!

(He holds up the item in question—stacked high and liberally decorated with frosting and sprinkles—and the other two smile broadly at the sight of it. Back to the present, full color, jazz off; Rarity sidesteps her way across the dressing room.)

Rarity: A cake that was ordered by a girl pony with a raspy voice!

(Black and white, jazz on: just outside the door to Cinnamon’s shop. A pegasus flies out, almost completely hidden behind trenchcoat/hat/sunglasses/scarf and carrying the cake. This pony is nearly bowled over twice—first by a well-dressed unicorn stallion who gallops past, then by two stallions—earth pony and unicorn—giving chase.)

* Rarity: Whoever ordered the cake got a chocolate stain on their ivory scarf.

(Extreme close-up of that article of clothing, clearly showing a smudge of frosting on its knot. Zoom out slowly.)

* Rarity: And I couldn’t help but notice that Wind Rider’s scarf is tied in a tight Windsor knot—

(On the end of this line, the view dissolves to a close-up of the former flying ace in the present, full color, and the jazz fades away.)

Rarity: (from o.s.) —instead of its usual loose slipknot! (She steps into view at one side.) And why is that? (magically grabbing scarf end) Is it to hide…

(Extreme close-up of his chest. The knot is nimbly untied and the two ends left to fall loose; one of them is mottled with brown.)

Rarity: (from o.s.) …the chocolate stain?!?

(A round of gasps from the four Wonderbolt onlookers and Stormy.)

Wind: (jumping off stool to face them) Ah, this is preposterous. Wonderbolts! You don’t believe a word of this, right? (Close-up of his anxiously smiling face.)

Rarity: (from “o.s.”) Just admit it! (He steps aside, exposing her just behind and stepping up.) You’re just as guilty of framing Rainbow Dash as you are of ruining that ivory scarf!

(Any degree of suavity he has left disintegrates into an air of resentful admission.)

Wind: Ugh, fine! You caught me! I did it!

Rainbow: (flabbergasted) But…why, Wind Rider? Is it because I took the last broccoli at the dinner, and you really, really wanted it?

(Cut to him on the end of this. He opens his mouth, preparing to either fumble his way past this question or deliver a really scathing comeback, but Rarity zips over to cut him off.)

Rarity: No! It was because he was afraid that you would break his long-distance Wonderbolt record.

(Black and white, jazz resumes: she and Rainbow talk with Wind at the dinner. She is in her original white/gold gown, prior to getting punch dumped onto it.)

* Rarity: I heard him when Spitfire said you were close to breaking his record. He said, and I quote— (Wind walks off, mouth moving in time with the following.) —“Heh-heh.”

(Here and now; full color, jazz stops.)

Rarity: (pacing) That’s the polite but disingenuous laugh you make when you want to seem happy, but really you’re not. (Cut to Wind.)

Wind: I thought if I could get Rainbow Dash kicked out of the Wonderbolts forever, my record would be preserved. (Rainbow crosses to him.)

Rainbow: Really? That is so not cool. And I thought you were the coolest Wonderbolt ever—until now.

Wind: (hovering) I did what I had to do to protect my record! Sometimes you gotta play dirty to be the best! (He lands.)

Rainbow: That’s not what being a Wonderbolt is all about.

Soarin’: (from o.s.) She’s right!

(The lined blue face turns toward his voice; cut to just behind Wind, facing all the present professional flyers and the absent one’s mother.)

Soarin’: Wonderbolts look out for each other! (face hardening) Which reminds me…where is Spitfire?

Wind: (smirking) I sent her the letter pretending to be Stormy Flare. I told her I had pegasitis, and the only cure is the Ice Iris in the Crystal Mountains. (Zoom in on Rarity and Rainbow.)

Rainbow: No wonder she’s been gone so long! Ice Irises are almost impossible to find in spring!

Soarin’: (pacing, hovering) The Crystal Mountains are too far for anypony to make it there and back before the Royal Garden opening! Rainbow Dash, we need you to fly in Spitfire’s place.

Rainbow: But Spitfire shouldn’t have to miss this. I’m gonna get her.

Soarin’: Well, you’ll never make it in time!

(The red-violet eyes narrow intently as she turns to stare across the room. Cut to a long shot of the racetrack, the storm not having let up one bit.)

Rainbow: (flying out and away) Then there’s no time to lose!

(Dissolve to a slow pan across the dressing room. Soarin’ and Stormy talk worriedly; Blaze gazes out the window; Rarity busies herself keeping a steely glare on Wind as he sits on his stool again. The rain has now stopped.)

Blaze: Rainbow Dash is still gone!

Rarity: (crossing to her) Oh, don’t panic. If I know Rainbow Dash, she’ll come through.

(The disgraced stallion rolls his eyes wearily, just before the sound of the door opening cuts in. It swings open to expose Rainbow and Spitfire, the latter considerably more winded than the former. As Rainbow enters the room, Spitfire puts her goggles up and an overjoyed Soarin’ steps over to her.)

Soarin’: Spitfire! You’re back! I can’t believe you made it!

Spitfire: (sighing) I wouldn’t have— (Cut to Rainbow/Rarity/Wind; she continues o.s.) —if Rainbow hadn’t found me so fast. Gave me enough time to fly back.

Rainbow: (hovering) Rare, I couldn’t have done it without you. And I’m sorry I doubted you. (She touches down.) But why didn’t you tell me what you were doing?

Rarity: Well, I didn’t want to get your hopes up until I was sure. And I couldn’t be sure until I saw that chocolate stain.

Rainbow: (touching Rarity’s chest) Thank you for believing in me—even when I was doubting you. (head drooping) I’m some friend, huh?

Rarity: (touching Rainbow’s shoulder) Actually, you’re quite a good friend.

(Cut to Spitfire, Soarin’, and Stormy, all hovering and looking down with gentle, proud smiles.)

Rarity: (from o.s.) You went to get Spitfire, even though it meant you couldn’t fly today. (Back to Rainbow.)

Rainbow: (sighing, smiling) I’ll get my chance one day. (Spitfire zooms over to Wind, now off the stool.)

Spitfire: Or today! How’d you like Wind Rider’s spot in the show?

(He is so taken aback by this offer that his pupils and irises shrink away to almost nothing.)

Wind: Uh…w-w-what? Y-You can’t do this to me! I-I’m one of the greatest Wonderbolts there ever was!

Spitfire: Not anymore. For attempting to frame Rainbow Dash, I hereby strip you of your Wonderbolt status!

(On the end of this, cut to an extreme close-up of his jacket front; she reaches into view and tears a gold pin away from it—the winged lightning bolt that serves as the team’s insignia. Zoom out and tilt up to frame his angry glare before he gets walked out by a flying Fleetfoot.)

Soarin’: (to Rainbow) So, would you like to fly with us?

Rainbow: Would I! (She hurtles up to the ceiling.) Woo-hoo!

(Just as when she got the news of Spitfire’s absence in Act One, she goes into a goofy celebratory dance accompanied by a liberal dose of both “uh-huh” and “yeah.” Zoom out on the start of the next line to show Rarity, Spitfire, and Soarin’ watching.)

Soarin’: Uh…Rainbow Dash?

(She stops cold and gives him a big, squeaky, thoroughly embarrassed grin. Cut to floor level; the three spectators head for the door.)

Rainbow: (from o.s.) Coming!

(She zooms out past Rarity, who brings up the rear. Dissolve to a black-and-white stretch of clear daytime sky, the jazz starting up. Spitfire, Misty, and Soarin’ swoop down from above and fly toward/past the camera, goggles all on eyes, after which two trios of Wonderbolts approach from opposite sides and gain altitude, their paths interweaving before they split up. Next three pairs approach a central point and cut tight turns around it, leaving smoke trails in six different monochrome shades to form a gigantic floral bloom—the Aerial Flower Formation Misty mentioned—before zooming off again.)

* Rarity: So my friend got her moment in the sun—

(The display is broken up when Rainbow punches through its center, suited up in the goggles and sleeveless tunic she and the other cadets wore in “Wonderbolts Academy.”)

* Rarity: —or the center of an Aerial Flower, as the case may be.

(Cut to an extreme close-up of Rarity’s eyes, tilted up to watch the high-altitude spectacle.)

* Rarity: And as for me? (She looks around.) I got a chance to show off my Femme Mystique Chic collection.

* Stormy: That’s nice, dear.

(The eyes widen in surprise; zoom out quickly as full color resumes and the jazz winds to a stop. She and Stormy sit side by side in the racetrack grandstand seats, surrounded by other spectators.)

Rarity: Oh. Did I say that out loud?

(Fade to black.)

(The usual closing theme does not accompany the credits. In its place is the subdued melody played by the jazz combo during the black-and-white scenes.)


MADE IN MANEHATTAN

 

Written by Noelle Benvenuti

Produced by Devon Cody

Story editing by Meghan McCarthy

Consulting direction by Jayson Thiessen

Supervising direction by Jim Miller

Directed by Denny Lu

 

Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)

 

 

Prologue

 

(Opening shot: fade in to an extreme close-up of a full bookshelf. One title becomes enveloped in a magic field and is pulled away, and a long shot of the area gives more detail. Tree-patterned windows and banners, long semicircular shelves lining the back wall with a conveniently placed ladder for easy access, overarching blue/violet crystal columns, and branches of a blue crystal tree sculpture that reach up into view from the bottom of the screen. This is the upper portion of the library in Twilight Sparkle’s castle. The chosen piece of literature loops slowly toward floor level, the camera tilting down to follow it and frame Twilight and Spike in an overhead shot. Several round tables have been placed around the room; she sits at one, with books stacked up on both sides, and others litter the rest of the tables and the floor. Spike sits atop a few, reading a comic book from the box that rests before him, and a few dozen have been arranged to form a giant house of cards.)

 

(Close-up of Twilight as the selected book descends to her. Magic opens the cover and settles it on the table, but her out-of-sorts expression and weary sigh speak to a general lack of enthusiasm for heavy reading. The book is telekinetically closed and set on the pile to her left; blowing a hearty raspberry toward it, she extracts one from her right side and gives its contents a quick look. Another sigh, a slump down, and the book settles itself on that same pile—spine upward, covers open, pages fanned to support its weight. After a groan with chin nearly touching the table, she draws herself upright and immediately lets herself sag down with a third, drawn-out sigh.)

 

Twilight: I’m bored.

Spike: But you’re reading. (Long overhead shot of them.)

Twilight: (echoing slightly) I’ve read all these books already. (Ground level.)

Spike: (rolling eyes) And…?

Twilight: And I’m bored! (She plants her front hooves on the table, jarring the stacks.) I want to do something! Things have been so slow around here and I just—

Rarity: (distant) Twilight! Twilight!

 

(The Princess on duty zooms out of the library, and Spike jumps down from his improvised seat to follow, comic in hand. Cut to the closed throne room doors, seen from inside; these fly open in Twilight’s magical grip and the two race in.)

 

Rarity: (from o.s.) Ooh, Twilight, darling!

 

(Cut to her, standing at the far edge of the room’s central table and its magic map.)

 

Rarity: Oh, thank goodness! It seems that my—

 

(A clatter of hooves cuts her off, and here comes Applejack into the throne room. She downshifts from a gallop to a walk, out of breath, wiping sweat from her forehead, and with her cutie mark flaring.)

 

Applejack: Got here as fast as I c—

 

(Twilight eyes the three apples with a surprised gasp, and Rarity crosses the room to join the group. Her mark has also begun to act up, bringing a huge smile to Twilight’s face.)

 

Twilight: (pumping a foreleg) Yes! Finally! (trotting to map; Spike follows) We’ve been summoned. I wonder where the map wants us to—

Spike: Uh, Twilight?

 

(Extreme close-up of one wing as he lifts it to point out the stars on her haunch—which are doing nothing but sitting there and being pink and white. Applejack and Rarity cross to them, the earth pony giving a sheepish little grin, the unicorn a puzzled grimace. Twilight’s enthusiasm dribbles away, and she lets off a long, loud, bored sigh while sinking almost completely out of view behind the map. Snap to black.)

 

 

OPENING THEME

 

 

Act One

 

(Opening shot: fade in to the four and zoom in slowly.)

 

Applejack: Where do you think—

 

(Images of both her cutie mark and Rarity’s float up toward the room’s tree-stump chandelier, circling around each other, and descend toward a clump of high-rise buildings on the map. Rarity breaks into a giddy laugh, alternately hunching down for a closer look, straightening up again, and drumming her front hooves on the table edge. Both mares’ marks have quieted down now.)

 

Rarity: Oh, Manehattan! We’ve been called to Manehattan! (Hunch down.) Oh, I’ve simply been dying to go back for a visit— (Close-up; she stands.) —and now, I return. (fiercely) With a purpose!

Twilight: (from o.s.) Hmmm.

 

(Cut to her, now peering closely at the spot where the two marks have settled—on the outskirts of the teeny tiny big city.)

 

Twilight: It looks like you’ve been summoned to this particular neighborhood here.

 

(Zoom in to an extreme close-up of the location as she finishes, then cut to Rarity zipping over to Applejack.)

 

Rarity: (throwing foreleg around Applejack’s neck, squeezing) We’re off to solve a friendship problem in one of the busiest and most vibrant cities in all of Equestria! Isn’t this exciting?

 

(The blue eyes pop and she does her very best to bite back a squeal of joy, catching her lower lip in her teeth just to be safe. Applejack, on the other hand, keeps her composure and nudges Rarity back.)

 

Applejack: Seems a hair odd, though, don’t it? The map callin’ me to a big city like Manehattan?

 

(Cut to Twilight on the start of the next line; behind her, Spike has taken a seat on Pinkie Pie’s throne and started back in on his comic.)

 

Twilight: You may be more of a country pony at heart, Applejack, but the map picked you two because you’re the best ponies to tackle this particular mission. (Spike looks up and nods.)

Applejack: But how will we even know what our mission’s supposed to be? That neighborhood prob’ly has twice as many ponies as all of Ponyville. (Rarity sputters out her disbelief.)

Rarity: (with mounting giddiness) More like three times. Why, it’s not only home to the hay-packing district, it’s also home to the fashion district!

 

(She ends with a gasp and a chew on her bottom lip; across the way, though, Twilight lets her ears droop disappointedly.)

 

Rarity: Hmmm. Shame you weren’t called as well, though, darling. You did end up quite a fan of the hustle and bustle of Manehattan on our last visit.

 

(A reference to “Rarity Takes Manehattan.”)

 

Twilight: (smiling wistfully) It’s such an exciting city, and there’s still so much I’d like to do there. (rising slowly) So many museums and historical landmarks to visit, not to mention all the libraries.

 

(Stars twinkle in her eyes as she loses herself in her travel plan; after a moment, she snaps back to herself.)

 

Twilight: (settling back down) But this is your mission. (Chuckle.) Don’t worry about me. I’ve got plenty of…

 

(After a quick glance around, she whisks Spike’s comic out of his grip with her aura and shifts it in front of herself.)

 

Twilight: …books…to keep me…busy.

 

(Its owner glares at her and voices a short noise of disgust at having his pastime commandeered; Applejack and Rarity tack on humoring smiles.)

 

Applejack, Rarity: (nodding) Mmm-hmm. (Pause; Rarity gasps.)

Rarity: I just remembered something—the Sisterhooves Social! (Applejack pulls a hoof wearily down the side of her face.)

Applejack: We’ll have to miss it. No tellin’ how long we’ll be in Manehattan. (She slumps; zoom in slowly on the marked spot.) I sure hope Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle aren’t too upset.

 

(Dissolve to a long shot of a train crossing the suspension bridge over the river/bay at the edge of Manehattan and heading toward the city proper. The sun shines in a clear daytime sky. Zoom out slowly, then cut to a city intersection, a stretch of the bridge visible between the buildings. Carriages and taxis zoom back and forth as the train rolls through with a shriek of its whistle. Cut to the upper portion of several buildings and tilt down to the train station that served as the start of the Ponyville crew’s visit to Manehattan thirty-four episodes ago. The street is filled with speeding vehicles, the sidewalks with pedestrians and tourists, and Applejack and Rarity step out of the front entrance, the former balancing a trunk on her back. Rarity jumps to hook a foreleg onto a lamppost and let herself swing out from it.)

 

Rarity: Oh, Manehattan, what you do to me!

 

(Her companion’s only response is an irked eye roll, perhaps remembering the semi-sweatshop that she and the others found themselves thrust into the last time. Her eyes pop in surprise as she looks ahead of herself, the camera zooming out quickly to the other side of the street. Between the two sidewalks is a seemingly impassable tide of horseflesh harnessed to carriages that flow through the streets of the city. She swallows hard and her legs begin to shake as Rarity turns to her.)

 

Rarity: (waving a hoof in her face) Darling, are you all right? (Applejack shakes her head clear.)

Applejack: Ponies move so fast here, not at all like back home.

 

(She eases up to the curb, inserting herself between a stallion and mare already standing there and completely ignoring the nasty looks they shoot at her.)

 

Applejack: (to herself) Eyes peeled, ears open. Eyes peeled, ears open.

 

(Traffic thunders in both directions along the street until a police stallion blows his whistle and waves for the pedestrians to cross. Before Applejack can even begin to get a hoof off the curb, a stream of ponies pours past, leaving her disoriented for a moment. She barely regains her senses before another knot of walkers hurries by from the opposite direction.)

 

Rarity: (trotting up to her) Remember, Applejack, you’re in the big city now. No moseying. You’ve got to walk with speed and confidence!

 

(Another whistle is her cue to start purposefully across. Cut to an overhead shot of this stretch of road, Rarity nimbly swerving about to dodge the other pedestrians, then to just behind Applejack as the white mare reaches the opposite side.)

 

Rarity: (waving) Yoo-hoo!

 

(Now Applejack paws the sidewalk, snorting out steam, and gallops into the street. Overhead view; each of the following interruptions comes when she nearly plows into another pony.)

 

Stallion 1: Move it!

Applejack: Sorry ’bout that.

Mare 1: Ah, get outta my way!

Applejack: Sorry!

Mare 2, Mare 3: Watch it!

Applejack: Hey—oh, dear.

 

(Street level; she dives for the other curb and lands with a complete lack of grace on her belly, just in front of Rarity.)

 

Applejack: (standing, dusting herself off) Butter my biscuits. I can barely cross the street in this town! How am I supposed to help solve a— (Rarity’s sharp gasp cuts off that inquiry.)

Rarity: (pointing to one side) There!

 

(Pan quickly to a street-corner cart selling hats and zoom in quickly. The vendor stallion is passing a shapeless number in a rather unappetizing shade of green to a mare; its brim droops down to cover her eyes and ears as she sets it on her head. Both are earth ponies.)

 

Hat buyer: Yes, I think this is the one. (She pulls out a coin, but Rarity gallops into view.)

Rarity: No! (Strike the money away.) No.

Hat buyer: Excuse me?

Rarity: That hat clashes with your mane, not to mention it’s far too large— (Buyer’s half-blocked perspective; the hat is floated away.) —and will undoubtedly obstruct your vision.

 

(The two mares again; she moves to the cart and runs a critical eye over the goods.)

 

Rarity: Oh, dear! None of these will do. (Here comes Applejack.) Oh, Applejack! (crossing to her) What good timing!

 

(The lid of the trunk is magically flipped forward to whack the blond farmer a good one in the back of the head. Humming placidly to herself, Rarity circles around to root through it.)

 

Rarity: Here!

 

(The buyer again; a round-crowned blue-violet hat is levitated onto her head, its brim turned up in front, and she smiles.)

 

Rarity: (from o.s.) This will do splendidly. (A hand mirror is next so she can check herself out.)

Hat buyer: Oh, it’s lovely! How much would you like for it? (Rarity crosses to her.)

Rarity: Oh, no, no, please, please, keep it. I can always make another.

Hat buyer: (touching Rarity’s chest) Thank you!

 

(Off she goes at a trot, the portly, unkempt vendor glaring after her. The trunk is now closed.)

 

Rarity: (to Applejack) And you thought we wouldn’t discover our purpose here. (She sputters out her disbelief.)

Applejack: (dryly) Yeah, I’m pretty sure that wasn’t it.

Rarity: (affronted) What? I just saved that poor pony from committing a terrible crime of fashion.

 

(Her hopeful grin is met by Applejack’s quizzical, slowly rising eyebrow.)

 

Rarity: (hastily) W-Well, she could have been…meeting a friend who would’ve laughed at her new hat, and then their friendship could’ve been ruined forever, and… (She finally peters out with a weak smile.) …ooh…it’s possible!

Applejack: (dryly) Did your cutie mark glow signifyin’ a job well done?

Rarity: (glancing back at her haunch) Ye— (Face falls.) No. I suppose it didn’t. Still, a disaster was averted.

Hat vendor: (from o.s.) Averted? (He advances toward the pair.) You just lost me a paying customer!

Rarity: Oh, my. Oh, I-I-I-I’m so, so sorry. I-I never meant to—

Hat vendor: (shaking a hoof at her) Beat it!

Rarity: Uh, please accept my sincerest apologies for the misunderstanding— (Applejack pulls her back and begins to push her away.) —a-and might I add, what a lovely establishment you have here!

 

(She chuckles weakly as he finally relents and goes back to his cart, and both out-of-towners get back to moving under their own power.)

 

Rarity: (clearing throat) You’re right, Applejack. (Chuckle.) The search continues!

 

(Her partner’s green eyes just flick a hard glance back at the trunk. Dissolve to a slow pan along a block lined with apartment buildings; Applejack stands on the sidewalk, addressing the passing ponies and being thoroughly ignored. She no longer carries the luggage.)

 

Applejack: Uh, ’scuse me? I was just wonderin’… (Camera stops.) …uh…friendship problem, anypony? See, we’ve been sent here to…a-a map summoned us and, uh…if you could just take a moment to… (She lets her head drop wearily.)

Rarity: (from o.s., voice raised) Friendship advice!

 

(Applejack stares out across the street; cut to a quickly constructed wooden booth on the far side. It is decorated with an overhead sign that shows the pair’s faces with a heart between them, a stool is set up out front, and the unicorn stands behind it to lean over the counter.)

 

Rarity: Anypony looking for friendship advice? (Not a single passerby even breaks stride.) Good grief! (slumping down) This isn’t working. (Zoom out slightly as Applejack steps up with a sigh.)

Applejack: I’m not sure what we’re supposed to do. To be honest, I’m still not even sure what the map called me here for.

Rarity: (touching Applejack’s chest) Oh, try not to worry, Applejack. The map picked us for a reason. (Long overhead shot of them.) Although how we’re supposed to uncover that reason, I haven’t a clue. We can’t possibly approach every single pony in town until we find out what we’re meant to—do!

 

(During this last sentence, an advertising flyer blows into view is carried down toward the booth, and the camera cuts to them as it plasters itself across her face on the final word. She uses her magic to yank it loose.)

 

Rarity: (reading, as Applejack looks on) “Please help us restore our long-lost but beloved tradition, the Midsummer Theater Revival. With a guest performance by local theater troupe, the Method Mares, as well as games, food, and much, much more—” (Cut to Applejack and back as she continues.) “—this event promises to bring our Bronclyn neighbors together and restore our sense of community, but there’s so much to do and we need your help.” Huh.

 

(She pulls in a happy gasp and looks up from the page, flipping it to give Applejack a good look.)

 

Rarity: Darling, this is it! The contact on the flyer is Coco Pommel! (Close-up of Applejack.)

Applejack: (remembering) Oh, right! (stroking chin) She’s the one you got a job makin’ costumes for that designer friend of yours. (Zoom out to frame Rarity.)

Rarity: Don’t you see? (magically folding flyer) This must be why the map called us here! (touching Applejack’s chest) Oh, and you were so worried. (Laugh.)

Applejack: Well, I suppose it’s at least worth lookin’ into. (worried, looking around) That is…

 

(Overhead shot of the booth; the thoroughfare is as lively as before. Zoom out slowly.)

 

Applejack: …if we can ever get off this street corner.

 

(Fade to black.)

 

 

Act Two

 

(Opening shot: fade in to a group of apartment buildings, seen from across the street. Night has fallen, and a few windows are lit. Zoom in slowly.)

 

Coco Pommel: (voice over) I can’t believe you found my flyer.

 

(Cut to a close-up of the earth pony, reading it over. A rack loaded with fabric rolls is visible behind her.)

 

Coco: Quite a coincidence, don’t you think?

 

(Longer shot. She half-lies on an overstuffed cushion, facing a haunch-sitting Applejack and Rarity on a couch. The three are in Coco’s living room, which is cluttered with design supplies and materials. Before the Ponyville pair stands a table set with a tray of sandwiches, a teapot, and a cup/saucer.)

 

Rarity: Applejack and I were specifically summoned here to be of service. (floating cup upward) And you, my dear friend, are in need of help. (Applejack snags a sandwich in her teeth and chows down.) It’s no coincidence, darling. It’s fate! (Sip.)

Applejack: This Midsummer Theater Revival—what is it, exactly?

 

(Now Coco straightens up on her perch and picks up a photo album lying on the floor.)

 

Coco: An outdoor play held at the community park.

 

(She opens it to show a couple of pages, the camera zooming in to a close-up of the single photograph on the left one. A stallion is on outdoor stage in a well-kept park, delivering a monologue for a rapt audience.)

 

Coco: (from o.s.) Many moons ago, local theater troupes would perform—

(Pan to one photo on the facing page; three foals, including a young Coco, are costumed to take roles in a pony version of The Wizard of Oz. With them is a bespectacled earth pony mare, Charity Kindheart, keeping an eye on the proceedings. Light yellow coat, vivid blue eyes behind red-framed glasses, beauty mark under the right one, two-tone blue-gray mane/tail with a few hairs sprung loose, violet jacket with lighter sleeve/hem accents and white fur at the collar; orange pearl necklace, cutie mark of a red fabric heart with two pins stuck into it.)

 Coco: (from o.s.) —and ponies in the neighborhood would help make the costumes— (Pan to the page’s other photo: Filly Coco, out of costume, painting a backdrop and wearing a few splotches.) —and design set pieces—

 

(Her mane is tied in braids for the costume picture, a loose ponytail for the painting one, and she does not wear her sailor-suit collar, red tie, or three-colored flower clip in either. Page flip: on the left, a stallion and mare on kitchen duty dish up soup and fruit for a customer.)

 

Coco: (from o.s.) —prepare food to share during the performance. (Cut to frame all three; the album is now propped on the table, and she stands alongside it.)

Applejack: Y’all do look like you’re enjoyin’ each other’s company. (Rarity’s aura turns a page.) Kinda reminds me of Ponyville.

Rarity: It sounds lovely, darling.

Coco: It was… (sadly) …up until several moons ago.

Applejack: What happened?

Coco: (pointing to album, smiling) That’s Charity Kindheart.

 

(Close-up of one photo: Filly Coco and three other foals stand next to Charity.)

 

Coco: (from o.s, pointing to her) She was a well-known costume designer on Bridleway.

 

(The hoof slides to another photo, which shows her on the stage, holding a bouquet of flowers and beaming at the audience’s applause.)

 

Coco: (from o.s.) She started the Midsummer Theater Revival as a way to share her passion for theater with the neighborhood.

 

(Page flip; Charity stands before a cleaned-up Filly Coco, holding the familiar bloom in her teeth.)

 

Coco: (from o.s.) No matter how busy she was— (Pan to a second snapshot: she has tucked the flower into the youngster’s mane.) —she always made time for the Revival.

 

(Closing the album, she begins to cross to the apartment’s balcony.)

 

Coco: But when she moved away to be closer to her grand-fillies, the neighborhood lost the special tradition she had started—

 

(Cut to outside, a short distance beyond the railing; she steps out and leans her forelegs on it.)

 

Coco: —and worse, the sense of community it fostered.

 

(Pan/tilt down to the nearest intersection, still buzzing with activity at night even as it did in the day. As an elderly mare starts across the street, a stallion pulling a taxi carriage screeches to a halt to avoid hitting her.)

 

Mare 4: Hey, I’m trottin’ here!

 

(She goes on, the stallion resuming his headlong rush once she has moved far enough to let him by. Inside the apartment, Rarity has traded her teacup for a sandwich.)

 

Applejack: Nopony else stepped up to take over for Charity? (Coco comes in from the balcony.)

Coco: I’ve been trying to— (closing doors) —but I’ve just gotten a last-minute request to alter costumes for the cast of My Fair Filly, and I’m afraid I haven’t made much progress. (with growing panic) Ooh…there’s just so much to do to bring back the Midsummer Revival, and my flyers haven’t attracted a single volunteer!

 

(She pulls nervously at her face; now Rarity hops off the couch and crosses to her.)

 

Rarity: Say no more! You finish up your work, and by this time tomorrow you’ll be up to your mane in ponies who want to lend a hoof. (Applejack joins them.) Applejack and I will make sure of it.

Coco: You will? (Big squeaky grin.)

Applejack: You bet your boots we will!

Coco: (chuckling nervously) Oh, I don’t wear boots. I find they chafe my calves when I walk. (Long pause.)

Applejack: (dryly) It’s just an expression.

 

(She and Rarity smile gently at Coco, who allows herself a blush and a big grin at having let this bit of slang go over her head. Dissolve to a close-up of Applejack and Rarity standing side by side on a sidewalk, the former equipped with a saddlebag full of flyers. Rarity addresses herself o.s.)

 

Rarity: So you see, the Method Mares are only available on this one day—

 

(Zoom out. They are standing at a newsstand whose proprietor, an earth pony stallion, is busy stacking papers on the counter. It is now the following day.)

 

Rarity: —and we need all the help we can get with preparations. (She grins as he sets out a bundle.)

Newsstand vendor: Yeah, not a good time right now. (A passing stallion lays down a coin and takes a paper; he chuckles.) What am I sayin’? It’s never a good time.

 

(The two visitors turn glumly away as a copy floats across the screen. Behind its trailing edge, the view wipes to a popcorn cart; the earth pony mare working it brings up a full bag for a grinning stallion who has already put his money down. The sound of Rarity’s throat clearing draws an annoyed over-shoulder glare from the vendor; as the customer leaves, zoom out to frame her standing just behind. Still farther back, Applejack offers the flyer in her teeth to a passing stallion, who pays no mind. They are standing near a set of aqueduct-style bridge in a park.)

 

Rarity: Well, what do you think?

Popcorn vendor: I got my own problems.

 

(Longer shot: a line of customers is waiting impatiently for service.)

 

Popcorn vendor: You think I got hours to dedicate to somepony else’s?

 

(Away go the two would-be organizers. A bag of popcorn floats by; behind it, wipe to them looking hopefully a well-dressed, mustachioed dandy of an earth pony stallion in a meadow. He is sitting upright, with his hindquarters out of view.)

 

Dandy stallion: (stroking mustache) Ah, yes. Charity’s Midsummer Theater Revival. Such wonderful memories.

Applejack: So you’ll help us?

Dandy stallion: (laughing) Don’t be ridiculous. I run a very important oat and hay import/export business. Why, I can’t spare even a moment for such things.

 

(He drifts slowly o.s. to the sound of water splashing, and a longer shot discloses that he is now lying face up on a shallow, flat-bottom boat that is just large enough to accommodate him. Pan to follow his lazy journey across the stream in which he is floating—so much for “can’t spare even a moment”—then dissolve to a close-up of a downcast Coco in her living room.)

 

Coco: This is a nightmare. (Cut to Rarity nearby.)

Rarity: Oh, not at all, darling. (She floats up a hat.) It’s quite lovely.

 

(Obviously the two are talking at cross purposes. The chapeau is lowered again; cut to a close-up of Applejack, also in the room, on the start of the next line.)

 

Applejack: I think she was talkin’ about the Midsummer Theater Revival. (Back to the others; Coco haunch-sits on the couch.)

Coco: I’ve finished the alterations for My Fair Filly, but I’ve barely started the costumes for the revival and the Method Mares are coming to the park tomorrow for a costume fitting and rehearsal!

Rarity: Well, I could help you with the costumes.

Coco: But…what are we going to do about the rest? The park is in desperate need of repairs, and the sets still need to be built! (She gnaws a hoof fearfully; cut to frame all three. Applejack sits alongside, her saddlebag gone.)

Applejack: Well, I know a thing or two about buildin’ and fixin’ things. (climbing down) It’s kinda, well, my thing. (Coco smiles.) Could be the reason the map called me here! (Grin.)

Rarity: (to Coco) You see, dear? We went out looking for volunteers when all the help you need is right here.

Applejack: (crossing to her) Uh-huh!

Rarity: The map wouldn’t have chosen just Applejack and me if it was more than we could handle. (Close-up of them.) Everything is going to be just fine.

 

(The view quickly swivels 180 degrees around an invisible vertical center pivot, presenting the same view of the pair—now standing outside and staring at whatever is ahead of them with great discomfort.)

 

Rarity: (dumbfounded) Perhaps I spoke too soon.

 

(Cut to their perspective, panning/cutting/tilting up slowly through the view that greets them: a wildly overgrown stretch of park land with badly deteriorated benches, a rearing-mare statue stained with moss and marred by climbing vines, a covered stage that looks as if it might be one hard wind away from a total collapse. Cut to behind all three mares, standing at the edge of this train wreck of a park, then to a close-up.)

 

Coco: Oh, dear. You’re right. Are you sure you can manage this by yourself?

Applejack: Well, there’s a lot to do, but Rarity’s right. (pacing; all three smile) The map wouldn’t have called us here if we weren’t up for the challenge. (waving the others off) You two go on and take care of the costumes. I’ll see you at the dress rehearsal.

 

(Off they go; once they are well out of visual range, Applejack lets a deep uncertainty play over her face and swallows hard at the sheer magnitude of the project sets in. Dissolve to a path through the park; she pushes a wheelbarrow along with her teeth, stops, and turns her pearly whites to the job of yanking up the weeds that border the route. One after another is uprooted and spat into the wheelbarrow, and a clock wipe marks the passage of time and shows it now piled high. The earth pony, now tired and dirty, wipes her forehead and looks out with a relieved smile that goes bye-bye in no time flat. A zoom out reveals why: the weeds cover a vast expanse of the park, and she has managed to clear only a few square feet of ground. She puts a hoof wearily to her forehead.)

 

(The wheels of a “cylinder” lawnmower roll past in extreme close-up, followed by four badly scuffed orange-tan hooves; behind the lot, the view wipes to a ground-level view of the out-of-control grass. The mower makes a return trip, then is steered along a straightaway to get the weeds lining it. Applejack’s hat catches on a low-hanging branch and winds up dangling from its end for a second before it falls off and drops o.s. Here she comes with the mower; there comes the sound of cloth shredding, in time with a burst of brown fragments from ground level, and she stops with a horrified stare. A bend and nip allow her to bring up the tattered remains of her hat in her teeth; she stares dully at the wreck.)

 

(Wipe to an extreme close-up of a small weed growing in the middle of a path. Applejack’s hooves step up to it, and she bends down—now wearing the hat—to bite on it and yank. The first attempt yields no results, but on the second, the stem stretches and finally breaks, causing her to lose her balance and tumble backwards. She slams into the base of the park’s statue and topples onto her belly, looking up dazedly as the whole thing totters and finally comes down toward her. A last-second roll gets her in the clear, but the ruined hat falls off her head and gets mashed into the grass when the statue slams down dead center on it. Applejack stands up woozily, a bit of plant life now matted into her mane, and lets her head sink toward the ground upon taking in the damage to both the sculpture and her headwear.)

 

(A new scene falls into view as if it were a cut tree falling over: Applejack walking to one of the benches set up in front of the stage. Wearing the hat, now filthy as well as shredded, she removes it and sets it on one bench; as she wipes sweat from her brow, the seat cracks and breaks under the minor added weight. As she glumly regards the collapse, her tail sags of its own volition until it drags in the grass.)

 

(A paintbrush is drawn across the screen in two broad strokes, the view wiping behind its passage to show a paint-splattered, re-hatted Applejack using a brush in her teeth to paint a scenery flat. Zoom out to a long shot of the stage area as Rarity and Coco approach, a rack of outfits held in the unicorn’s magic. Applejack drops the brush back into the paint can.)

 

Applejack: I know it looks bad, but I’m movin’ as fast as I can.

 

(One front hoof comes down squarely in the can; she tries in vain to dislodge it and glowers over the misstep.)

 

Rarity: Don’t worry. We’ve still got plenty of time. Everything’s going to be—

Male voice: (British accent) Um, excuse me.

 

(All three turn slightly frightened eyes toward the sound; pan quickly to a quartet of earth ponies on a nearby hilltop. These are the members of the Method Mares troupe, from left to right as follows. Mare; light pink coat; deep blue eyes; two-tone grayish-purple mane/tail loosely tied back; light gray turtleneck; deep magenta beret that also appears as her cutie mark. Stallion; light gray coat; short, two-tone darker gray mane/tail; dark gray turtleneck under a tan overcoat; heavy beard stubble; eyes hidden behind black sunglasses; cutie mark not visible due to camera angle. Mare; pink-violet coat; straight, two-tone bright pink mane/tail; turtleneck striped in white and dark blue; cutie mark of a gold star; dark blue cap; eyes also concealed by black sunglasses. Stallion; orange-tan coat; curly, two-tone red-pink mane/tail; violet turtleneck; light green eyes; cutie mark of two theater tickets. The first two of these are Raspberry Beret and Onstage, respectively; the other two will be referred to as Cap and Tickets. Onstage is the one who spoke.)

 

Onstage: Is this where the Midsummer Theater Revival is supposed to be, par cheance?

 

[Note: These last two words, taken from Old French, are the source for the English word “perchance.”]

 

(Accompanied by the following. A gesture with a foreleg, revealing black hoof tips; lower the shade slightly to glance over them, showing dark brown eyes. Each troupe member has a British accent when he/she speaks.)

 

Raspberry: Uh, we’re here for the dress rehearsal.

Coco: Oh, yes! (trotting to rack) We’ve just put the finishing touches on the costumes.

Tickets: (aside, to Cap) At least those look professional.

 

(Cap turns her head toward him on this line, giving a flash of violet eyes behind the opaque black lenses.)

 

Raspberry: (crossing to rack) We’ll do a dry run of the play first, and then the fitting.

 

(The four move toward the stage, such as it is, as the camera zooms out to frame it. This shot frames Onstage’s cutie mark as a pair of drama masks. Applejack has removed the paint can from her hoof, but a sudden mental flash throws her into a panic.)

 

Applejack: No! Wait! (Close-up of a ramp leading up on the stage; she continues o.s. as Raspberry climbs it.) I haven’t got a chance to—

 

(Zoom out quickly to frame both of them and the entire structure, which begins to creak and sway in a most unwholesome manner. As Raspberry stares upward, paralyzed with fear, Applejack dives across to plow her off the stage just before the whole thing comes down a in a cacophony of splintering wood and a cloud of dust. This sequence reveals a small beauty mark at the left corner of Raspberry’s mouth, a detail not previously visible due to the camera angles. The haze clears to show them unharmed and lying on the grass; Applejack stands up, and both look back toward the others—Applejack worried, Raspberry indignant. Rarity comes out of her cringe, Coco takes her hooves down from her mouth, and the other three actors stare slack-jawed at the barely averted disaster. Cut to a long shot of the park.)

 

Applejack: (weakly) —reinforce the stage yet.

 

(Fade to black.)

 

 

Act Three

 

(Opening shot: fade in to an overhead shot of the now-empty park and the ruined stage. Pan to bring Coco into view, gazing down despondently from her balcony, then cut to a head-on shot. Applejack and Rarity stand inside the apartment, visible through the open balcony doors, and Applejack has cleaned herself up. Coco gives a heavy sigh.)

 

Coco: I just wanted to live up to Charity’s example. (She turns toward the pair.) To bring my neighborhood together again. (Gaze out again.) But the park is still a mess, we haven’t even thought about what refreshments to serve during the performance— (Cut to behind her; she turns one more time.) —and even if we had, we don’t have a stage for the Method Mares to perform on. It’s hopeless. Just…hopeless!

 

(Accompanied by a front hoof stomp to emphasize the last words. Once again she pivots to look dejectedly over the street; pan/zoom out to put Applejack and Rarity in the fore.)

 

Rarity: I don’t understand. The map summoned us here to solve a friendship problem. We’ve clearly found it, but why did it send the two of us? Why not Twilight? (pacing) I’m sure she could’ve used her magic to transform this park in an instant.

 

(Accompanied by a stomp of her own on the last word, muffled somewhat by the living room rug.)

 

Applejack: I’ve been thinkin’ the same thing. I mean, I can at least see why you’re here. Coco’s your friend, and you have an eye for costumes and all. But me? I was never gonna be able to finish a project this big. (Rarity falls dramatically back into her forelegs.)

Rarity: (hamming it up) We’ll return to Ponyville as failures! (starting to cry, makeup running) Why must this be, Applejack? Why? (She gets upright…) Why? Why?

 

(…and promptly gets her mouth corked with one of the farmer’s hooves. The waterworks instantly stop, and all traces of the tear stains vanish.)

 

Applejack: Now hold on there. I’m not suggestin’ we pack up and go home.

 

(Rarity tries to say something, but it comes out as a muffled, garbled mess due to the hoof still in her mouth. She shoves it away and tries again.)

 

Rarity: Then what are you suggesting?

Applejack: I’m suggestin’ we stop worryin’ about what we can’t do and start doin’ what we can. (The balcony; she steps out next to Coco, followed by Rarity.) I think I’ve got a plan. It won’t be anythin’ big or fancy, but it’ll be somethin’. (She and Rarity smile.) And somethin’s gotta be better than nothin’, right?

Coco: (listlessly) I suppose so.

Applejack: That’s the spirit! (Smiles run away from her and Rarity.) Sorta.

 

(To the sound of a nail being hammered in, the view dissolves to an extreme close-up of this very task. Once the head is flush with the board, cut to Applejack on the job, putting the finishing touches on a new, curtained stage. A tool belt is strapped around her midsection, and she tucks the hammer into one of its pouches before addressing herself o.s.)

 

Applejack: All right, y’all!

 

(Long shot of the structure, which has been built at the park entrance so that it fronts directly onto the sidewalk. A marquee of tragedy/comedy masks has been added up top, and a light hangs from either end of the proscenium. It is now sunset, and Rarity and Coco stand watching.)

 

Applejack: It’s ready!

 

(The Manehattan mare beams at the sight, receiving a smile from her Ponyville friend, and the builder jumps down just before Onstage pokes his head out through the curtains. He has shed his shades, and the edge of his shirt collar indicates that he has also changed his clothes.)

 

Onstage: (whispering) Should we go ahead and start?

 

(Coco nods placidly as Applejack steps out next to her and Rarity, having jettisoned the hardware; now the thespian pulls his head back and the curtain slides open. The scene is an office; he stands behind a desk as Raspberry enters. All of the scenery and props consist of wooden flats that have been roughly cut and painted. Onstage has donned a light gray suit jacket, dark gray dress shirt, and black necktie, while Raspberry now wears the mane/tail style, glasses, fur-lined jacket, and necklace that match the appearance of Charity in Coco’s album. Both have sheet of paper taped over their cutie marks—a dollar sign for Onstage, Charity’s pinned red heart for Raspberry. A rack of dresses is pushed into view from backstage with the aid of a long hooked cane.)

 

Raspberry: Excuse me. I’m Charity Kindheart. I’m here about the open design position. (gesturing to rack) I brought some samples of my work.

 

(The edge of the stage, framing the three spectators now haunch-sitting in front of it. A passing mare aims a funny look toward the performance.)

 

Raspberry: (from o.s.) I’m sorry I’m late. I had the hardest time finding my way here. (voice breaking; the newcomer sits to watch) I just moved here— (Back to her.) —and I keep getting mixed up by the street names! I had a map, but I dropped it in a puddle— (crying) —which only made the street names harder to read!

 

(Stage edge again; an earth pony mare walks past with her pegasus daughter, who stops and frantically gestures for her to do the same.)

 

Onstage: (from o.s.) I see.

Filly: (to her mother) What is that?

Mother: I don’t know, sugar. Looks like some kind of play.

Filly: Well, can we stay and watch it, please? Please, can we? (hovering up to her level) Can we?

Mother: (pushing her gently down) Oh, all right. (smiling) I suppose we could stay for a minute.

 

(Now Tickets enters the scene. Glasses, short-sleeved light green sweater marked with an alligator head, fake cutie mark of a baseball.)

 

Tickets: Excuse me— (bowing, gesturing behind himself) —but your next appointment is here. (Mother and daughter join the audience.)

Onstage: All right. Send him in. (Tickets backs offstage; he turns to Raspberry.) I’m sorry, but based on these samples, I just don’t think this is the place for you. (She snaps upright with a lung-bursting gasp.) Don’t get me wrong. These clothes are all exquisite and well-made, but more theatrical than avant-garde. Have you considered costume design? I have a contact on Bridleway. If you’re interested— (Raspberry drops to her haunches with a grateful smile.) —I can put you in touch with him. (Pause.) And scene.

 

(The curtains close, and a murmuring of voices causes Applejack/Rarity/Coco to glance behind themselves. They are rewarded with the sight of quite a few ponies who have paused their chase through the streets of Manehattan to see what is going on. All three turn their eyes back to the stage with satisfied smiles; now the curtains open for a new scene—Cap, wearing a flowered hat and pearl necklace and sitting on her haunches in the park. She tosses seed from a real bag to the prop birds before her, and a real cane is hooked onto a nearby prop bench. A bit of makeup has been applied to make her appear older, and her tail hides her taped-on cutie mark for the moment; both it and her mane are in a slightly untidy curled style now. She turns to address Raspberry in an older-mare voice as the latter pushes a cart full of outfits into view with her head.)

 

Cap: Charity, dear! Is that you? (The birds “fly” away.)

Raspberry: Hello, Mrs. Pearblossom. I didn’t see— (She exaggeratedly tosses a real cloth out of the cart.) Oops!

 

(It lands at the edge of the stage; cut to the mother and her filly, now watching raptly.)

 

Cap: (from o.s.) Oh, let me help you, dear.

 

(Back to the stage; now standing, she picks up a second fallen piece. Now the ersatz mark can be seen as a pear and flower.)

 

Cap: Are these the costumes you’ve been working on?

Raspberry: Yes. (Birds “fly” across.) I was supposed to be finished by now, but there’s just so much to do! (pulling a third cloth from cart) And I still have a few last-minute alterations to make before opening night! I’m sorry I couldn’t get enough tickets for everypony in the neighborhood.

 

(Long overhead shot of the stage and the slowly growing knot of spectators; pan slowly across.)

 

Raspberry: (hidden by roof) I hope Mr. Pearblossom wasn’t too disappointed.

 

(The stage again; now Cap is leaning on her cane.)

 

Raspberry: I know Trotter on the Roof is one of his favorites.

Cap: Oh, my dear filly, don’t worry about that. (touching Raspberry’s shoulder) We’re so proud of you. We shall be with you in spirit!

Raspberry: Thank you! You’ve all made me feel so welcome here, and have become like family to me.

 

(Cut to the crowd; now an earth pony stallion, a construction worker, walks up. The popcorn vendor from Act Two has pulled her cart in behind them all.)

 

Raspberry: (from o.s.) I just wish I could share this experience with you and the others.

Worker: (to the nearest spectator) Uh, what’s goin’ on?

Spectator: It’s the Midsummer Theater Revival. The Method Mares are performing.

Worker: (smiling, sighing) The Revival. Hm. Yeah, my pop used to bring me.

 

(He takes a seat on his haunches and removes his hard hat, holding it over his chest. Dissolve to a stretch of the city skyline, the sun slowly sinking behind the buildings and darkening the sky.)

 

Cap: (voice over) It’s so nice of you to put on this play for the neighborhood. (Cut to a slow pan through the crowd.)

Raspberry: (from o.s.) I couldn’t have done it without everypony’s help.

 

(Up on the stage; she runs a length of real fabric through a prop sewing machine as Cap watches, leaning on her cane.)

 

Raspberry: I know it’s not Bridleway, but—

Cap: (waving her off) Oh, pish-tosh. It’s perfect, dear.

 

(The crowd again; a filly with a balloon prances cheerfully across behind the popcorn vendor. Pan to follow her and stop on an elderly mare easing her way up through the rows with the help of a walker. A stubble-chinned business stallion steps aside to make room for her.)

 

Mare 5: (laughing) Oh! You’re such a dear. Thank you. This is so nice. Haven’t seen the neighborhood this friendly since Charity moved away.

 

(Coco blushes at these words, and Rarity puts a gentle hoof to her chest before trading a high five with Applejack. The crowd applauds and cheers as all four Method Mares take the stage and bow, the scenery having been reset to the office and Tickets having donned a gray suit jacket, white shirt, and red tie.)

 

Onstage: Thank you, fillies and gentle-colts. Please give a warm welcome to the one who made this entire event possible—our neighbor, Coco Pommel!

 

(The unexpected honoree grins bashfully as the crowd voices its high opinion of her. Within seconds, they have closed ranks and hoisted her overhead, passing her from hoof to hoof and setting her on the stage. Onstage takes a step back to make room for her; she clears her throat before speaking.)

 

Coco: Thank you all so much for coming. The Midsummer Theater Revival was always something that meant so much to me, and it seems it means quite a lot to all of you as well. (Close-up.) I really can’t take all the credit, though.

 

(Zoom out; Rarity enters from the wings, followed by a shakily grinning Applejack.)

 

Coco: My dear friends Rarity and Applejack helped me ever so much.

 

(Unicorn bows, earth pony blushes and somehow manages to wave without keeling over, and the crowd goes wild for some seconds.)

 

Rarity: Oh, darling, please, it was just a few costumes.

Applejack: (blushing again) Aw, shucks. I just happen to be good with a hammer, is all. To be honest, we had much bigger plans to start. (Longer shot; her voice echoes slightly over the crowd.) When those fell through, we decided to simplify. This here was the result.

Rarity: (echoing) Oh, don’t be so modest. (Close-up; echo ends.) Coco and I were lost.

Coco: You bet your boots we were!

 

(She winks at Applejack, who returns it. Dissolve to a pan through the crowd, now broken up into a multitude of happy conversations; the Method Mares are scattered among them, having changed into their civilian clothes and mane/tail styles and removed their prop cutie marks. Stop on Applejack and Rarity as an earth pony mare walks up to them, accompanied by the dandy stallion who blew them off in Act Two.)

 

Mare 6: We just wanted to say how much we enjoyed the Midsummer Theater Revival, and how much it inspired us.

Applejack: Oh, yeah?

Dandy stallion: I used to think that to help my community, I had to do something big. (Chuckle.) And let’s face it, in this day and age, who has the time for such a commitment? But here, you did something as simple as building a stage and putting on a play, and— (Another chuckle; he gestures around himself.) —look at how it’s brought everypony together.

Mare 6: I saw Coco’s flyers for volunteers, but didn’t think anything I’d have time to do would be that useful. (Close-up of Applejack and Rarity; she continues o.s.) Now I wish I’d offered to help. (Back to her.) Even if it was just pulling a few weeds or planting a few flowers.

Applejack: Not sure if you noticed, but— (gesturing toward park) —the park is far from bein’ fixed up.

 

(Cut to a slow pan across the collapsed stage and weed-choked audience area.)

 

Applejack: (from o.s.) I imagine if you look around, you’ll find there’s lots of little ways for you to get involved in changin’ this place for the better.

 

(On the second half of this line, cut to just outside the sidewalk fence and tilt down toward the sidewalk, picking out the glut of weeds and the stains on the concrete from old spills. The camera then cuts back to the four after she finishes.)

 

Mare 6: And I will!

Dandy stallion: (as both leave, touching his hat brim) And I don’t think we’ll be alone.

(Applejack’s and Rarity’s cutie marks flare up after they have gone. Extreme close-up of the three apples, then zoom out to frame both eyeing their own haunches—Applejack with a grin, Rarity with some surprise that shifts into a tranquil smile.)

 

Applejack: (rearing up) Yahoo! (They laugh and embrace.) We did it! (Rarity gasps and pulls loose; the marks go quiet.)

Rarity: I understand now! It all makes perfect sense! (She trots purposefully o.s.)

Applejack: (puzzled) Huh?

 

(Her confusion grows as the familiar magic aura envelops her mangled hat and lifts it away. It is dropped into a handy trash can, the camera zooming out to show it next to the hat vendor’s cart from Act One. Rarity passes some money over to the heavyset stallion, who is in a much better mood than when they first ran afoul of him.)

 

Rarity: (levitating two hats off the cart) I know why the map called you here!

 

(One of them is an exact match for the one she threw out; the other is stacked on top of it. This extra one is returned to the shelf.)

 

Applejack: You do? (She smiles as the brown one settles itself on her head—a perfect fit.)

Rarity: If Twilight had used her magic to fix the park— (Minor adjustment.) —it wouldn’t have fixed the real problem—which is that these Manehattan ponies didn’t think they had time to do something for their community.

 

(Her perspective on the end of this: Applejack looking out at the display of goodwill among the spectators.)

 

Rarity: But by building that stage and making sure the play went on— (Cut to frame both.) —you showed them that just by doing something small, you can make a big difference!

Applejack: Well, I’ll be!

Rarity: (stepping closer, linking a foreleg with Applejack’s) Seems you have more in common with the Manehattan ponies than you thought. (Big grin.)

Applejack: (chuckling) But all the same… (They start off down the sidewalk.) …I’d sure like to head back to Ponyville on the next train. I want to check in with Apple Bloom and find out how the Sisterhooves Social turned out.

Rarity: Oh, absolutely, my dear. (She stops short and points ahead, suddenly horrified.) Just as soon as I stop that pony in the shop over there from purchasing that dreadfully hideous scarf! (addressing herself across the street) STOOOOOP!! (galloping away) You’re making a terrible mistake!

 

(Applejack just sighs good-naturedly and crosses one foreleg over the other. Fade to black.)

 

(The usual closing theme does not accompany the credits. In its place is the bluegrass-style melody that played over Applejack’s solo efforts to clean up the park on her own. B flat major, lively 4, banjo/drum/tuba; starting on the fifth bar, a faint, repeating metallic clang comes in, as of a pickaxe striking rock.)

 


BROTHERHOOVES SOCIAL

Written by Dave Polsky

Produced by Devon Cody

Story editing by Meghan McCarthy

Consulting direction by Jayson Thiessen

Supervising direction by Jim Miller

Directed by Denny Lu

Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)

Prologue

(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of Sweet Apple Acres during the day. Zoom in slowly.)

Granny Smith: (voice over) Aw, snickerdoodle! Where is the darn thing?

(Cut to a close-up of her inside the main barn, glaring angrily into an open box.)

Granny: (groaning) I wish for once I’d remembered to label these boxes!

(Longer shot: she is standing on one, and she uses another as a step down to the floor. The end of a ladder poking up through an opening in the boards indicates that she is in the hayloft; cobwebs and stains are in abundance up here.)

Granny: Uh, Big Mac— (Pan to bring Big Macintosh into view.) —be a dear and help me move those… (eyeing a box) …maybe it’s in that one on the bottom.

(Two sizable crates are stacked on it, but the workhorse ducks to get his nose underneath and easily lifts them away. Granny approaches the container; cut to the darkened interior, filled with toys, as she pushes the lid aside and looks in. Hopefulness gives way to irritation; on the start of the next line, cut back to her and Macintosh.)

Granny: Oh, dagnabit, it’s not in there either!

(He has set the two crates aside. She clomps petulantly back across the loft, but the sound of Apple Bloom’s laughter from outside draws Macintosh to the window. Cut to just outside it, concern registering on his face.)

Bloom: (from o.s.) You can’t catch me!

(Zoom out to frame both her and Applejack in the barnyard; both laugh as the older sister chases the younger, who has a bowling pin in her mouth. A sidestep by Applejack allows her to cut off Bloom, who spits the item away.)

Bloom: Hey! (She charges off, Applejack following.)

Applejack: (fading out) You trickster! (Back to Macintosh inside.)

Granny: (from o.s.) Sisterhooves Social is right around the corner. (Cut to her, looking over other boxes.) Thought it’d be nice to award the winner of the big race a ribbon from when we hosted the very first Social.

(Being the event that figured prominently in the episode of the same name three seasons ago. Now the old green mare scratches her chin in thought before poking around again.)

Granny: If’n of course I can find the darn thing.

(She comes up with a toy locomotive and tosses it aside, moving across the loft to check another stack. A few toys tumble out of a box when she knocks it over; she smiles and points at a wooden dragonfly mounted by its thorax on the end of a stick.)

Granny: Oh, would you looky here!

(Macintosh turns toward her; close-up of the insect plaything, zooming in slowly.)

Granny: (from o.s., wistfully) My, how Apple Bloom used to love watchin’ you make that thing fly. (Back to the two; he crosses to her.) It’s like she thought you used magic. (She snaps back to business.) Hah! Right. Enough reminiscin’. (pacing) Gotta find that ribbon!

(Her grandson throws a fond smile toward the dragonfly and gets its stick in his teeth. Meanwhile, Granny is standing on a box.)

Granny: If you would just help me pull— (pushing, straining) —this—here—box— (She sinks to her haunches; zoom out to show Macintosh gone.) —then maybe I could…

(She stands and turns away from the stack, fully taking in his absence.)

Granny: …uh, Big Mac?

(The cardboard on which she is standing gives way. Down she goes into the box, putting her head up through the hole with a blue ribbon on the end of her nose; the whole thing topples over and the decoration falls off to hit the floor.)

Granny: (smiling) Found her!

(Fade to black.)

OPENING THEME

Act One

(Opening shot: fade in to Applejack and Bloom standing inside the barnyard fence. Both rise to their hind legs and tap their front hooves in rhythm with the first line of the following.)

Applejack, Bloom:                 S-I-S-T-E-R-S!

(Drop to all fours; tap a hind hoof together, then the front hooves again.)

                                Which two sisters are the best?

(rearing up) We are! Apple Bloom and Applejack forever! Yee-hoo!

Bloom: We’re gonna win every competition at the Sisterhooves Social! (touching Applejack’s chest; zoom out to show Macintosh watching) Those other fillies aren’t gonna know what hit ’em!

(Big sister takes notice of even bigger brother, who still has the dragonfly toy in his mouth.)

Applejack: Oh! Hey there, Big Mac. (Close-up of him, grinning around the stick; she continues o.s.) Did you want somethin’?

Macintosh: Ee-yup. (Zoom out to put Bloom in the fore.)

Bloom: Hold that thought. (turning from him) Applejack, you are the most awesome sister ever! (Close-up of a blushing Applejack.)

Applejack: (laughing, blushing) Aw, gee whiz. Well, I think it’s sweet that you hold that opinion, but—

Bloom: (from o.s.) It’s not opinion. (Cut to frame all three.) It’s objective fact! You’ve saved Equestria, like, a gazillion times, you’re smart, funny, strong—why, you’re the best sister of all time! (leaning into Applejack’s face; she grins) Probably the best Apple of all time! (over shoulder) Right, Big Mac?

(Caught completely off guard by this torrent of praise, he scrambles to get the grin back on his face.)

Macintosh: Ee-yup.

Bloom: (circling around Applejack) And with you by my side, I am guaranteed to taste sweet, sweet Sisterhooves Social victory!

(Macintosh nervously scratches one foreleg with the other, Applejack picking up on his mood.)

Bloom: (improvising a few dance steps) Go, Apples! Go, go! Go, Apples, go!

(She ends with a twirling leap, coming down on her haunches.)

Applejack: Uh, Apple Bloom? (pointing past her) I think Big Mac’s got somethin’ he wants to show you.

(The stallion gleefully shifts the toy from teeth to front hooves, and after rotating the stick back and forth a couple of times, he releases it into the air. It follows a high, tight arc, remaining vertical as a whirling blur, and finally clatters to the earth at Bloom’s hooves in close-up. Zoom out to frame all three siblings.)

Bloom: Oh, hey. Is that the toy we used to play with when I was little?

Macintosh: Ee-yup.

Bloom: Neat. (to Applejack) All right, then! Let’s get back to practicin’.

(She bounds away, missing both Applejack’s look of puzzlement and Macintosh’s disappointed expression as he turns back toward the barn. Close-up of the orange-tan farmer, zooming out to frame the filly on the start of the next line; she has a stack of three bowling pins balanced on her nose.)

Bloom: One more run-through of our jugglin’ routine… (They fall off.) …make sure our harmonies are tight in our song… (Hold up a pie.) …and see if we can’t beat our best pie-eatin’ time.

Applejack: Hold on, sugar cube. I need a minute to talk with Big Mac. (She heads for the barn; Bloom drops to her haunches.)

Bloom: (calling after her) Mind if I go ahead and start eatin’ this pie?

(With no response immediately forthcoming, she buries her face in the dessert, splattering filling all over herself. Cut to inside the barn; Macintosh is at the far end, hammering a piece of metalwork at an anvil, and Applejack walks in.)

Applejack: Hey, Big Mac. (He pauses.) You all right? (Hammer is set down.)

Macintosh: (sighing with irritation, pacing) Yup.

Applejack: You sure? You seemed a little down back there.

Macintosh: (scoffing) Nope. (A loose pitchfork is picked up and leaned against the wall.)

Applejack: Come on. (smiling) You can tell me. You feelin’ a little left out? Apple Bloom and I have been spendin’ a lot of time together gettin’ ready for the Social.

(He turns to face her, opens his mouth to speak—and is interrupted by the flare of Applejack’s cutie mark.)

Applejack: (gasping) What in the—?

(Close-up of the three apples sounding off on her haunch, then zoom out slightly as Bloom leans in close with a smile and gasp. Her face is now clean of pie residue.)

Bloom: Your cutie mark! (hopping around excitedly) You’re being summoned, Applejack! This is so cool! (Close-up of Macintosh.)

Macintosh: (sighing bitterly) Yup.

Bloom: (from o.s.) Wonder where you’re being called to. (His eyes pop, then a grimace; all three again.) Wonder what you’re supposed to do when you get there. (zipping to Applejack) Obviously it is something awesome because you’re awesome!

(A thought strikes under the red mane and pink bow, and she begins to pace and become increasingly worried.)

Bloom: But…but if you’re being summoned to solve a friendship problem, that means you’ll have to miss the Sisterhooves Social! And if you have to miss the Social, then I’ll have to miss the Social! (dropping to haunches) Which means I won’t be able to taste sweet, sweet victory!

(She ends with a hyperventilation fit and front hooves pressed to temples. A look of great concern passes between the green eyes of her siblings before Applejack steps forward.)

Applejack: Now calm down. Let me just go over to Twilight’s castle and see what’s what. (smiling) Maybe it’s just a false alarm.

(Zoom in on the distraught little pony, whose spirits brighten considerably at this prospect, then cut to her standing on her hind legs to block the kitchen doorway. Panic has set in all over again, and a bindle knotted onto a stick is extended toward her.)

Bloom: But you said it was a false alarm!

(Zoom out on the start of the next line to frame Applejack addressing her in the kitchen; the bindle is propped up against the door, and the cutie mark has gone quiet.)

Applejack: I said maybe it’s a false alarm. Well, it’s not. Rarity and I have to go to Manehattan.

Bloom: Can’t you just tell that map it’ll have to wait a couple days?

Applejack: No can do, sugar cube. When duty calls, I gotta answer right away. (patting Bloom’s head, pulling her closer) What kind of an example would I be settin’ for my little sister if I didn’t?

(These lines establish the current time frame as being immediately before the start of “Made in Manehattan.” Bloom pulls away from her sister’s grip.)

Bloom: This can’t be happening! (galloping farther into the barn) Your extreme awesomeness is backfiring on me!

(The blond mare sighs heavily as Macintosh steps to the door.)

Applejack: I’m sorry, Apple Bloom. (to Macintosh) Try and cheer her up, won’t you?

Macintosh: Ee-yup.

(Getting the bindle settled just so, she walks past him and into the great wide open. Dissolve to a long shot of the main barn, zooming in slowly. The sound of a clanging iron triangle cuts the tranquility.)

Granny: (voice over) Breakfast! Come and get it!

(Cut to a close-up of a downcast Bloom sitting at the dining room table, her bow drooping to underscore her glumness. The family matriarch walks over, gripping the edge of a plate of greens and fruit in her teeth, and sets it down in front. Bloom averts her eyes from the grub as the camera zooms out slightly to frame the edge of Macintosh’s chin and hitching collar across the table. Granny throws a split-second glance his way; after a chin-scratching moment of thought, he regards his own plate—two whole carrots and some lettuce—and smacks the whole thing into his own face. When he pulls the plate away, the carrots are stuck under his upper lip like tusks, the greens from their tops have wound up in his ears, and he has a pair of lettuce-leaf eyebrows, which he waggles comically. The culinary silliness gets nothing even resembling a rise out of Bloom; instead, she puts her head down on the table and pushes her plate away.)

Granny: Oh, it’s no use, Big Mac. If I know my Apple Bloom, she won’t come out of a funk this funky ’til her big sister gets back.

(Nipping the plate’s edge in her teeth, she carries it away; Macintosh’s goofy grin evaporates as one of the carrot tusks drops from his mouth. A knock and the sound of a door opening startle him back to the here and now, and the camera zooms out slightly on the start of the next line. An exterior door stands near the table; Sweetie Belle has opened its bottom half and is standing here.)

Sweetie: Hey, Apple Bloom. (Bloom lifts her head.) The Social’s gonna start in a few hours. Thought you might want to go with us. (She steps in, Scootaloo taking her place.)

Scootaloo: Since Rarity and Applejack are out of town, you and Sweetie Belle can cheer on me and Rainbow Dash instead.

Sweetie: (to her) Pretty great they’re letting you participate even though you’re not technically sisters.

Granny: (from o.s.) Well— (Cut to her in the kitchen.) —Social’s always had a pretty loose definition of what consti-ma-tutes a sister. As long as you share a bond that represents the spirit of the Social, you’re in. (The table again; Sweetie slides up alongside Bloom.)

Sweetie: So what do you say? (Scootaloo joins her.)

Scootaloo: You coming?

Bloom: (listlessly) Why not? Got nothin’ better to do. Let me wash up and I-I’ll meet you in a little bit.

(Exeunt two worried fillies, leaving the third to go face-first onto the table again. A sigh from the o.s. Granny; cut back to her.)

Granny: (crossing kitchen) Such a shame we don’t live closer to all your second cousins. (reaching table; Macintosh has shed all his facial produce and stares wide-eyed) You could maybe do the Social with one of them instead.

(Close-up of the stallion, whose mental gears begin to turn under the messy orange mane, twisting the mouth up into a knowing smile. Zoom out to frame Granny watching intently.)

Granny: What is it, Big Mac? (The smile becomes a grin.) Y’all got an idea?

Macintosh: Ee-yup!

Bloom: (from o.s., eagerly) What? (She jumps across to him, her bow perked up.) What is it?

(Zoom in slowly as he stitches on a more calculating sort of grin that takes the smile right off Bloom’s face. A dissolve shifts the scene to a slow pan through a stretch of meadow that has been set up with tents and banners for the Social, including a table at which mare/filly pairs have lined up to sign in. Carrot Top and her younger sister walk off along a path as Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo pass them.)

Scootaloo: Today’s our big day!

Rainbow: We have so got this. I’m gonna go sign us in. (She heads for the table as Sweetie walks up.) 

Sweetie: (to Scootaloo, scratching back of neck) I guess I’m just a little jealous you two get to compete and I don’t. (smiling) But at least I get to be here and cheer you on. (Big grin from Scootaloo; she looks behind herself.) I thought Apple Bloom was gonna be here too.

Scootaloo: Guess she changed her mind.

(Zoom out from the pair to put Bloom in the fore, walking nervously across the path. She halts at Scootaloo’s next words.)

Scootaloo: (waving) Hey, there you are! (She and Sweetie walk up.) You ready to cheer on me and Rainbow Dash to victory?

Bloom: Uh…not exactly. Seems I’m gonna get to participate after all.

(Spoken with much more unease than enthusiasm; Sweetie, on the other hand, pulls in a happy little gasp.)

Sweetie: Applejack is back from Manehattan already? (She jumps toward Bloom, knocking her to her back and standing on her belly.) That must mean Rarity is back too!

Bloom: No, our sisters are still gone. (gradually pushing Sweetie off, standing up) But it, uh…turns out my long-lost cousin…Orchard Blossom was able to make it last-minute.

(She finishes with a lame chuckle as the white filly gets upright.)

Sweetie: Your cousin Who-What, now?

(A male falsetto voice cuts in here, surprising both her and Scootaloo. It carries a thick Southern drawl.)

Falsetto voice: Well, I do declare—

(Cut to the speaker—Macintosh, wearing a dress whose pale blue skirt is patterned with light pink apples, and whose sleeveless white blouse has darker pink collar/waist trim and a matching bow at the neckline. He has also donned dark blue shoes on all four hooves, removed his hitching collar, and made up his face. His shaggy orange mane is hidden under a two-tone pale blond bouffant wig with a fringe of ringlets and a flower tucked in on one side. The front shoes have small pink bows attached, and lacy pink bloomers can be glimpsed under the skirt. Until/unless otherwise noted, he will speak in the affected Southern-belle voice.)

Macintosh: —it’s hotter today than the business end of a corncob pipe!

(Pulling a handkerchief out of his neckline on the end of this, he proceeds to wipe his neck while delivering his best attempt at a demure giggle. Scootaloo and Sweetie can only goggle slack-jawed at the sight of him, their minds having completely shorted out; behind them, Bloom grimaces to herself at this sudden spell of idiocy on her big brother’s part. Snap to black.)

Act Two

(Opening shot: fade in to a close-up of Macintosh’s shoes and tilt up to his face. Having stowed the handkerchief, he bats his eyelashes coyly before turning to address Scootaloo and Sweetie.)

Macintosh: Oh, my! I’m so delighted to meet your little friends, Apple Bloom. (hunching down to them) Would these be your dear and beloved Cutie Mark Crusaders?

(This shot picks out the small white apple set at the center of each shoe bow.)

Bloom: (sighing heavily) Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, Cousin Orchard Blossom. (He stands up.)

Macintosh: It is my extraordinary pleasure to make your acquaintance.

(These two are not amused, and the glares they shoot toward their third partner in mayhem are met by a big dopey “please don’t kill me” grin. Long silence.)

Sweetie: That’s Big Mac in a dress. (Bloom drops to her haunches, tapping front hooves together.)

Macintosh: (feigning confusion) Big Mac? Why, as charmed as I am that you find me in the slightest resemblance to such a…a…a fine and noble product of the Apple clan— (walking past them; Bloom is now standing again) —I’m astonished in equal measure. (Stop.) However, I shall take this startling observation under advisement— (Cut to the Crusaders; he leans down to Sweetie as he continues.) —given that it’s from such an astute and perceptive filly as yourself, Sweetie Belle.

(She gives him a cocked-eyebrow smile, then lets it become more genuine as he straightens up again.)

Sweetie: That’s awful nice of you to say, Cousin Orchard Blossom. (Bloom gapes at her in disbelief and disgust.) I’ve been told before I’m pretty observant.

Macintosh: I haven’t the slightest doubt.

(Cut to an older earth pony mare on duty at the sign-in table, filling out a sheet with the pencil in her mouth.)

Macintosh: (from o.s.) Pardon me!

(She looks up with a smile, but the pencil falls free when her whole face goes slack with shock a moment later. Cut to her perspective, tilting up to frame the inauthentic cousin now across the table from her as well as the very scared eyes of the yellow filly hunkering down alongside.)

Macintosh: My dearest cousin Applejack is regrettably unable to be here as planned, so I— (fluffing wig ringlets) —her cousin Orchard Blossom—

(Her perspective, panning slowly along the three dumbstruck ponies behind the table. All are advanced in years, and the last is an earth pony stallion.)

Macintosh: —will accompany Apple Bloom in her stead.

(The stallion puts on a hopeful little grin and adjusts his bolo tie; back to Macintosh.)

Macintosh: I trust that’s acceptable to all concerned?

Rainbow: (from o.s., skeptically) Cousin Orchard Blossom, huh?

(His eyes pop; cut to frame her and Scootaloo now in line behind the Apple pair. The younger pegasus has a hoof to her mouth to stop a giggle.)

Rainbow: I know Applejack has a lot of relatives— (He turns to her.) —but I feel like she would have mentioned you. (He thinks fast before smiling and speaking.)

Macintosh: Why, you must be Rainbow Dash! You’re Scootaloo’s…mm… (stammering a bit) …how are y’all related again?

Rainbow: Hmm. (Unsettled glance between her and Scootaloo; then a smile.) Why don’t I just let you finish signing in?

(She throws a grin to the stallion in drag, then leans close with all her good cheer instantly gone.)

Rainbow: (softly) But don’t think me and Scootaloo are gonna take it easy on you just ’cause you’re a stallion!

(She walks away on the end of this, leaving him to stare bug-eyed after her and then turn to the sign-in table with a laugh. He leans onto the end of the table opposite the old stallion, resting his forelegs on the wood.)

Macintosh: Now where were we?

(The table legs buckle under his weight, causing that end to drop sharply toward the ground and take him down with it.)

Bloom: (trying to smile) Um…excuse me. I have to…go to the bathroom! (She bugs out; Macintosh stands up with a grunt.)

Macintosh: (addressing himself after her) You mean “powder your muzzle,” don’t you, dear? (to the sign-in trio) Such a more, uh, feminine-like reference to nature’s call, don’t you agree?

(The two mares trade slightly discomfited looks, while the geriatric Casanova just lifts his overgrown eyebrows above a grin that has now taken on a slightly greasy tone. Cut to Sweetie walking through the grounds and aiming a slightly apprehensive look back over her shoulder. She stops, glancing this way and that, and the camera zooms out to frame Bloom, trying to hide behind a small barrel but still in the unicorn’s line of sight.)

Sweetie: Have they called your brother’s bluff yet?

Bloom: No, but they’re about to! (hoof to face) I can’t bear to watch!

Macintosh: (from o.s.) Yoo-hoo! (Pan quickly to him, waving from a few yards away.) Apple Bloo-oom! (walking toward her) They’ve approved us as a pair! (giggling) Hurry along now, precious.

Bloom: (to Sweetie) I can’t believe they bought it!

Sweetie: It’s sweet he wants to help you out like this. Weird, but sweet.

(The red-maned filly takes no comfort in those words as she trudges grudgingly into the open. Dissolve to an overhead shot of a stage on which one sister team is finishing up a vocal performance for the crowd. Banners with musical notes are hung from poles, a single large note tops the backstage tent, and an announcer stallion in a white shirt, striped vest, and boater hat is running a phonograph at the curtain opening. The two take a bow as the spectators applaud.)

Announcer: (stepping up front) Bravo! Bravo!

(This shot picks out the dark gray apron he wears over his shirt/vest, as well as the bolo tie encircling his collar. The sisters leave the stage.)

Announcer: Weren’t those two sisters great? (Crowd quiets down.) Now, where are our next competitors? (Here come Bloom and Macintosh from one side.)

Macintosh: (singsong) Here we are!

 (As reluctant as Bloom may be to get up there, a playful shove in the rump by her “cousin” persuades her to get her hooves moving. Now backstage, the announcer pushes forth a crate filled with records for consideration. Bloom walks queasily onto the stage, while Macintosh tosses his ringlets to the announcer’s great consternation and pulls a record out of his blouse.)

Macintosh: (passing it over) This one, please. (He heads out.)

Announcer: Excellent choice…ma’am!

Bloom: (softly, to Macintosh) You sure you know all the words? ’Cause it took Applejack a pretty long time to get it down.

Macintosh: (softly) Did it now?

(Needle hits vinyl; crank is turned; zoom in on the pair.)

Bluegrass mandolin melody with tambourine beats

Triplet feel, slow 4 (D major)

(Bloom’s nerves gradually give way to a smile.)

Bloom, Macintosh:                We all love our brothers, and our fathers and mothers

(They turn to face each other, holding out one front hoof to touch.)

                                We honor them like every family should

(Throw a foreleg over each other’s shoulder.)

                                But there’s something that’s quite unique when my sister’s there

     with me

                                And we share that special bond of sisterhood

Violin in

Bloom:                        Sisterhood

Macintosh:                        Sisterhood

Bloom:                        Is a special kind of friend

                                Sisterhood

Macintosh:                        Sisterhood

Bloom:                         Is a bond that never ends

Bloom, Macintosh:                It’s not always perfect, you might fight or be misunderstood

(Touch front hooves again.)

Bloom, Macintosh:                But together you’ll always have sisterhood

Macintosh:                        Sisterhood

Bloom:                        Sisterhood

(Macintosh gambols clumsily across behind Bloom.)

Macintosh:                        Sisterhood

Bloom:                        Sisterhood

(He tiptoes back to stop behind her.)

Macintosh:                         Sisterhood                (Whip out of view behind her.)

Bloom:                        Sisterhood

(Now he slides to the stage edge on his hocks and sings the next line in his own deep voice, surprising her badly.)

Macintosh:                        Sisterhood

Bloom:                         …hood

                        

Song ends

(Her last syllable is delivered in time with his—a unison finish that went down the drain—and he lifts a foreleg in triumph as the crowd stares dumbfounded. Cut to his perspective, panning slowly through the murmuring throng; he returns to his high voice.)

Macintosh: (giggling nervously) Ee-yup!

(The old stallion from the sign-in table pops up in the back, applauds, and hurries away, giddy over having made eye contact with “Orchard.” Back to the stage.)

Bloom: (to Macintosh, chuckling uneasily) Are you okay, Cousin Orchard Blossom? You sounded like you were catchin’ a cold or… (He lowers his foreleg.) …somethin’ else that would make your voice sound totally different, right at the end of the song. (Weak chuckle; he catches himself with a gasp and smiles.)

Macintosh: (standing up) Just a frog in my throat, dear. Probably just need to get a sip of water. If you’ll excuse us, we’ve another event in which to participate.

(They make for the curtains as a couple of front-row onlookers trade puzzled glances; cut to the backstage side entrance as Macintosh emerges.)

Macintosh: Oh, my! (descending steps) That certainly didn’t go as I had planned. (Bloom hangs back.) But don’t you worry. We’ll get you a blue ribbon yet, Apple Bloom.

Bloom: (dryly) You sure about that?

Macintosh: (walking off) As sure as my name is Cousin Orchard Blossom!

Bloom: (to herself, under her breath) But that isn’t your name!

(Dissolve to an overhead shot of another stage, this one marked with a banner of a dancing-mare silhouette. Plenty of ponies have turned out to watch this contest, and the two Apples are taking their turn as the camera zooms in. They sit on their haunches facing each other, tapping front hooves together in the same rhythm as the bit that Applejack and Bloom rehearsed at the beginning of Act One.)

Bloom, Macintosh:                C-O-U-S-I-N-S!

(Stand up; get their next moves muddled a bit.)

                                Which two sis—uh, cousins are the best?

                                We are!

(Macintosh’s wig slides down over his eyes.)

Bloom, Macintosh: Apple Bloom and Appleja— (out of sync) —uh, um/I mean, Orchardjack—Blossom forever!

(By now, they have wound up facing opposite sides of the stage and away from each other. Macintosh lifts one front and one hind leg with a whoop—and enough force to send his little sister hurtling away.)

Bloom: Whoa!

(A crash of pony against wood drifts back; only now does he shift his wig out of his eyes to see the mishap, and he chews his bottom lip fearfully. Cut to a tub full of apples, from which one exasperated young earth pony puts her head up, spitting out one of the fruit as another balances on her head.)

Bloom: (woodenly) Yay.

(Dissolve to a spot several feet above the ground. A jump rope is swung up into view and down again, and Rainbow and Scootaloo leap in time with it. They are face to face on the first bound; for the second, they have each turned around so they can each put out a hind leg for a high five. Now the camera cuts to ground level; two stallions are swinging the rope ends in their mouths, and on the next jump the unofficial sisters both do a backflip and come down to slap all their rear hooves together. Their fourth takes them up into a position with heads down and legs extended out to their sides, allowing a double high five. Pan from them to Bloom and Macintosh, also jumping rope—or trying to. The apple is gone from Bloom’s head now. She easily clears the rope every time it comes around, but he cannot get even an inch of air between his hooves and the ground no matter how hard he tries. After three failed attempts, he simply steps over the rope, earning a hard-eyed squint from Bloom.)

(Wipe to another spot several feet up. Bowling pins are tossed back and forth, and the camera zooms out to show the pair doing the juggling act Bloom alluded to in Act One. Each has three pins going, and they drop onto their backs to continue the routine. Cut first to Macintosh and then Bloom, legs pistoning in rhythm to keep the pins aloft; Bloom suddenly finds herself without any and sits up to find out what has gone wrong. Across the way, Macintosh has also stopped juggling—because all six pins have fallen into his skirt and left him in a hopeless tangle of limbs and fabric.)

(Wipe to a close-up of a very out-of-sorts Bloom glaring behind herself.)

Macintosh: (from o.s.) Oh…I don’t know why I didn’t choose to wear something more casual!

(Cut to a longer shot on the end of this; he stands next to her, having sorted out his disguise and disposed of the bowling pins.)

Macintosh: Why, I knew that juggling routine like the back of my hoof! (smiling, adjusting wig) But never you mind. There is still the race to be run.

Bloom: I really appreciate all the effort, Big Ma— (catching herself) —Cousin Orchard Blossom, but maybe we just skip the whole obstacle-course thing and call it a day.

Macintosh: (crossing to her) Why, Apple Bloom! I wouldn’t hear of it! Your cousin Orchard Blossom may be many things, but she is not a quitter.

Bloom: I’m sure she’s not, but…it’s like Applejack said. There’ll be more Sisterhooves Socials down the line, and… (deflating, pawing at grass) …I’m sure she’ll help me get a blue ribbon next time around.

Macintosh: (stammering a bit) But you wanted to win at this Sisterhooves Social! And no matter what, I am gonna get you that win! (sternly, to himself) Why, I simply have to.

(Zoom in slowly on his grim-set face and snap to black.)

Act Three

(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of the Sweet Apple Acres orchards, seen from somewhere above tree height. Tilt down to give an overhead view of the starting line of the obstacle course from “Sisterhooves Social,” where competitors are gathering and spectators watch from both sides of the track. The first obstacle—the mud pit—is filled and ready, and the start of the zigzag bucket run that follows it can be seen as well.)

Rainbow: All right, Scootaloo. Remember the parts where teamwork really comes into play.

Scootaloo: How could I forget? We’ve been training all week.

Rainbow: Okay, hot stuff. What’s our move on the grape squish? (Extreme close-up of Scootaloo, in profile.)

Scootaloo: The alley-oop. (Pan back and forth between them in turn.)

Rainbow: Apple toss?

Scootaloo: Flip-flop.

Rainbow: Egg carry!

Scootaloo: Flutter bomb. (Cut to frame both again; they leap up.)

Rainbow, Scootaloo: Yeah! (High five; take their marks.)

Macintosh: (worried) Oh, dear!

Granny: (from o.s., amplified) Competi-sisters…

(Cut to her, sitting in a rocking chair on a stage just like the first time around. The only differences—aside from Macintosh not being up there with her—are that the megaphone she used back then has been replaced with a bullhorn, and that is it properly aimed toward the crowd. Her next two lines are also boosted by the rig.)

Granny: …take your positions!

(Back to the starting line, where five teams in all are tensed to start. Macintosh snorts out a puff of steam and scrapes a front hoof over the dirt.)

Granny: (from o.s.) And ready…and set… (Bloom steels herself; back to the stage.) …GOOOO!!

(All ten racers pelt over the hard-packed earth. Rainbow and Scootaloo are first to reach the mud pit and easily clear it in one leap.)

Rainbow: Nice jump, Scoot!

(They both make quick work of the bucket run. Meanwhile, Macintosh slams on the brakes as he approaches the mud pit, but his forward momentum flings him gracelessly out of his shoes. As Bloom makes her way through the buckets, the big lug comes down behind her and gets a hind leg stuck in one of them. He half-staggers, half-bounces through the rest of them, ending up caught in two, crushing two others, and kicking the last one away.)

(Up ahead is the third obstacle, the crate pyramid. Bloom takes it in one jump without any trouble, but Macintosh simply smashes through and gallops ahead. The buckets are gone from his hooves now, and he wastes no time in catching up to Bloom.)

Bloom: Woo-hoo!

(Up next: pie eating. The Apples plunge their faces into the crusts; after a moment, Macintosh lifts his head and lets go with a hearty belch, then rips the bow off his neckline and gets back to work. It is the work of perhaps one more second to down the rest of his pie, followed by an even less decorous belch that sends the empty pan flying across the table. Up comes Bloom’s face, every square inch covered with filling; she clears it all away in one lick, and they are off again.)

(They pull ahead of the pack, Macintosh’s face now clean, but Rainbow and Scootaloo are still out in front. The pegasi come up to the hay-bale push and start to move a waiting mass slowly ahead with their noggins; only for Macintosh to overtake them effortlessly. Bloom gallops a few paces back as he gets the bale over the line, and they charge ahead side by side once he flings it backward. Berry Punch and Ruby Pinch slide to an alarmed stop, finding themselves in its growing shadow, and the thing slams to the ground and hides them from view. These two sisters cautiously poke their heads out from behind opposite ends to make sure that they are, in fact, still among the living.)

(Bloom and Macintosh barrel around a turn, now leading Rainbow and Scootaloo, and come to the grape-stomping challenge. The poorly disguised stallion scoops up one pile of grapes, throwing them into the vat just in time for Bloom to leap in after them. She gets her forelegs hooked around the edge and, after a moment’s scrabbling, manages to pull herself inside. As the yellow hooves get to work pulverizing the fruit, their pegasus competitors gallop up. Rainbow pitches their pile into a vat, nimbly tosses Scootaloo in, and then joins her to double-team the grapes. Macintosh throws them a glare of naked hostility; cut to Bloom, happily converting grapes to purple pulp. The sunlight above her is blotted out by a rapidly growing shadow, and she has just enough time for one confused look up before Macintosh plunges into the vat, having chosen to copy Rainbow’s move. A blast of grape juice covers the screen, then drains away to fill one jar after another set up below the vats’ spigots. An even more puzzled Bloom gets squeezed out and ends up wedged into one of the jars, perhaps wondering if Discord might have decided to show up for this day at the races. She gets her head out and looks up at a contrite Macintosh.)

Bloom: Yikes! You almost squished me!

(Cut to the row of stools that marks the end of this obstacle. He races up, a jar of juice gripped in his teeth, and hastily sets it on one of these before galloping on. It totters back and forth on the verge of falling, and Bloom stops for a moment to put it firmly in place, having extricated herself from the jar. On she goes; now Rainbow and Scootaloo come up with their jar, and an instant later they have unloaded it and begun to pull ahead of Bloom. Next up is the chicken coop for the egg carry; Macintosh rushes in, setting off a flurry of squawks and loose feathers, and the pegasi enter next. One chicken is forcibly ejected from the entrance, followed by Macintosh’s head.)

Macintosh: Pick up those hooves, Apple Bloom! Why, you’re barely movin’ at a mosey!

(Bloom catches up, but Rainbow and Scootaloo are already exiting, each with an egg balanced on the tip of her nose. They move gingerly to the collection basket, set their cargo into it intact, and sprint on; next the entire exit-door wall of the coop bursts outward in a shower of splinters and out come the Apples, each with an egg of his/her own. Macintosh has the doorframe hooked around his neck.)

Macintosh: (out of breath, turning to walk backwards) Come on, june bug! It’s like you’ve never carried an egg before!

Bloom: (groaning) I’m goin’ as fast as I can!

(But not fast enough to avoid being overtaken by two other teams. Macintosh, meanwhile, has shed the debris and already deposited his egg, and his hooves jitter against the dirt as he waits for Bloom. Once she gently places hers in the basket, he scoops her up and gallops along, leaving nothing behind but her cry of surprise. They begin to move up through the pack, but the other teams are already clearing one hurdle after another on the final obstacle. Macintosh takes care of this minor technical hitch by simply bulldozing through one after another, ignoring Bloom’s terrified yelps that build into a full-blown scream. Up ahead, Rainbow and Scootaloo have the lead on the home stretch, but Macintosh thunders up in between them and shoulders both aside at once, eliciting a double yell as he carries Bloom over the finish line in a cloud of dust. Scootaloo thumps down on her back, head on the line and body across it, and the long-lost Apple “cousin” slides to a stop and goes into a victory dance, still holding Bloom.)

Macintosh: (holding her up; own voice) Woo-hoo!

(Dead silence. Now Rainbow can be seen also lying on the finish line, head/forelegs forward and hindquarters back. Macintosh coughs a bit, remembering the role he is supposed to be playing, and goes back to his falsetto.)

Macintosh: I mean, um… (clearing throat, setting Bloom down) …victory is ours, sweet Apple Bloom.

(Another twitch of his throat is immediately followed by the remains of his disguise going to pieces and falling off around him. The makeup vanishes from his face, and he reverts to his normal speaking voice.)

Macintosh: Uh-oh.

Mare voice: “Uh-oh,” indeed!

(Pan quickly to the speaker: one of the mares at the sign-in table, the one who was initially surprised by his appearance in Act Two. Neither she nor any of the other ponies standing around here find this the least bit funny. Back to the siblings.)

Bloom: (to Macintosh) I shoulda known you’d eventually get busted for bein’ a stallion!

Sign-in mare: (from o.s.) Oh, no.

(Zoom out slightly; she and the other mare from the table cross to the pair.)

Sign-in mare: We’ve known all along. The Sisterhooves Social has always had a loose policy when it comes to what counts as a sister.

(Cut to Bloom and Macintosh, who trade relieved little smiles at learning that all this masquerade was completely unnecessary. Back to the mare on the start of the next line.)

Sign-in mare: But we do have a strict policy when it comes to sports-ponyship. (crossing to them, addressing Bloom) In your “sister’s” desperation to win, he used brute strength to physically take out the competitors.

(On the end of this, cut to one pair—Amethyst Star and her sister—standing among the shattered remains of the crate pyramid, then pan quickly to a couple of chickens clutching fearfully at one another near the wrecked coop. A third one morosely surveys the damage. Back to the three ponies on the start of the next line.)

Sign-in mare: Uh, that kind of behavior is not just unbecoming of a lady, but, quite frankly, of anypony!

(Macintosh’s eyes widen worriedly; close-up of him, zooming in slowly.)

Sign-in mare: (from o.s.) And for that— (To Bloom; zoom in.) …you two are hereby… (All three again.) …disqualified!

(She strides off, leaving two utterly crushed siblings in her wake, Cut to a close-up of a slightly scuffed-up Rainbow, slowly working her way up to vertical.)

Rainbow: Huh. (Zoom out; Scootaloo half-sits up, also battered and rubbing her head.) Looks like we win, squirt. (The filly snaps to.)

Scootaloo: Woo-hoo!

(Two pairs of hooves reach into view, fore and aft, and lift her up off the top edge of the screen. Behind those four limbs, the view wipes to a longer shot of the finish line; the victorious pegasi are carried overhead by a knot of cheering racers and spectators. Bloom and Macintosh are left standing alone among the tatters of the stallion’s outfit.)

Bloom: (bitterly) I told you I shoulda just waited until the next Social to win with Applejack!

(She plods off; he voices a weary sigh and follows. A moment later, here comes the old stallion from the sign-in table, now carrying a bouquet of flowers meant for Orchard Blossom. Looking around for any trace of her, he sets the blooms down and confusedly picks up a scrap of the blond wig. Cut to a long shot of the foiled Lothario and zoom out slowly as one of the balloons attached to the finish-line poles pops forlornly.)

(Dissolve to a long shot of the Sweet Apple Acres barn, seen from a nearby hillside at sunset, and pan to bring Bloom and Macintosh into view underneath a tree. She paces and ponders the view, while he sits on his haunches with his hitching collar back on.)

Bloom: (sitting) You know I’m not mad, right?

Macintosh: Ee-yup.

Bloom: I mean…let’s face it. You dressin’ up as my cousin Orchard Blossom was a pretty crazy idea in the first place.

Macintosh: Ee-yup.

Bloom: And it’s not like you got me disqualified from the Social forever or anythin’. I can participate next time with Applejack. (turning to him) Everything’s fine.

Macintosh: Ee-yup. (Long pause.)

Bloom: I just don’t understand why you went so crazy there at the end of the race. I mean, I—I know you like to win and all, but…you want to tell me what’s goin’ on?

Macintosh: (turning away) Nn-nope.

Bloom: (standing) All right. Well…it’s getting late. You comin’?

Macintosh: Nope. (Long pause.)

Bloom: (sadly) Okay. (walking off) See you later, I…guess.

(The morose red stallion gives her a silent, sidelong look that seems to last a month before speaking up.)

Macintosh: Apple Bloom? (She stops…)

Bloom: Yeah? (…and walks slowly back to him.)

Macintosh: When you were little, you used to look up to me. Thought I was the best thing since Zap Apple jam. Things are different now. (Close-up of Bloom; he continues o.s.) Applejack’s the hero of the Apple family. (Back to him; he slowly gets more worked up.) Always rushin’ off to save Equestria, and I’m just here on the farm, doin’ chores, helpin’ out the way I can, nothin’ special, nobody’s hero. (To Bloom on these last two words, then cut to frame both.) I guess I just thought… (more calmly) …aw, never mind. Here I am, about to start blabberin’ on about my feelin’s. You don’t want to hear all this.

(One small yellow hoof gently touches one big red hind leg.)

Bloom: Yes, I do.

Macintosh: I guess I just thought if I could fill in for Applejack at the Social and get you a blue ribbon, well, I could be somepony you looked up to again. (smiling) Be your hero again, even if it was for just a day. (The smile vanishes.) It was foolish, and I’m ashamed. (turning away) Please. I just want to be alone right now.

(Bloom mulls over this relative torrent of words—possibly the most she has ever heard him say at one time—and the camera cuts to a close-up of the gloomy crimson face.)

Bloom: (from o.s.) Yeah, well… (cheerfully; sound of a grab) …too bad, you big goof!

(The green eyes widen; zoom out to show that she has stretched her forelegs to hug as much of him as she can.)

Bloom: ’Cause I’m not goin’ anywhere, and I know that you’re always gonna be here when I need you. Heck, you’ll do a whole obstacle course in high heels if you think it’ll help me get somethin’ I want. (Back to his face; she continues o.s.) Y-You’re my big brother. (He perks up; back to her, zooming in slowly.) You’ve always been a hero to me, Big Mac, and…you always will be. I’m real sorry I haven’t been lettin’ you know that’s how I feel. Guess both of us have been holdin’ back when it comes to expressin’ ourselves, huh?

Macintosh: Ee-yup.

(Now he returns the hug.)

Granny: (from o.s., distant) Big Mac! Apple Bloom!

(They glance toward the barn; cut to just behind them, giving a long shot of the building and Granny standing at the open kitchen door. Zoom in slowly.)

Granny: Your sister’s home! She says she’s got quite a story to tell about her trip to Manehattan!

(Brother and sister trade smiling looks from their spot under the apple tree.)

Bloom: Be there in a bit!

(Cut to just behind Granny, the hilltop and its denizens visible as silhouettes.)

Bloom: (echoing slightly) I’m spending some quality time with my big brother!

(The old mare turns to re-enter the kitchen. Cut to a closer shot of the pair and zoom out slowly.)

Bloom: Hey, Big Mac?

Macintosh: Ee-yup?

Bloom: How do you think Cousin Orchard Blossom would describe this sunset?

Macintosh: (chuckling, assuming Orchard’s voice) Why, dear, I do declare this is the most beautiful sunset my eyes have ever looked upon! Though sittin’ here on these tree roots is a trifle uncomfortable for my hindquarters.

(He shifts back to his own voice, and both share a laugh. Fade to black.)


CRUSADERS OF THE LOST MARK

Written by Amy Keating Rogers

Produced by Devon Cody

Story editing by Meghan McCarthy

Consulting direction by Jayson Thiessen

Supervising direction by Jim Miller

Directed by Denny Lu

Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)

Note:                        Background song lyrics are in square brackets; any marked with

                        exclamation points are shouted rather than sung.

Prologue

(Opening shot: fade in to a slow tilt up the length of a large sheet of paper on a wall. It is filled with crayon drawings of several different activities, all of them marked out with red X’s, and can only be the product of the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ failed attempts to find their talents.)

Apple Bloom: (from o.s.) Okay, Crusaders!

(The top edge of the sheet comes into view, marked with a heading and the group’s insignia. Cut to frame all three in their clubhouse; Bloom sits on her haunches, perched on a crate by the list, and Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle watch.)

Bloom: Back to the business of earnin’ our cutie marks! (standing on crate) Any suggestions?

Scootaloo: (frustrated) No, we’ve tried everything!

Sweetie: (dejectedly) We’ve run out of ideas.

Bluegrass melody with acoustic guitar/mandolin/bass/light percussion, lively 4 (E major)

(Now the daytime sky can be seen through a window.)

Bloom: Are you kiddin’ me, Crusaders? We can do better than that!

(She jumps down to their level.)

                        We’ve been searchin’ for our cutie marks for a while now

(The others brighten a bit.)

                        Tryin’ to find out how we fit in

(leading them toward the wall, tacking up a fresh sheet)

                        So many ways we’ve tried before, but we keep on tryin’ more

Crusaders:                ’Cause the Cutie Mark Crusaders don’t give in

                        We’ll make our mark, one way or another

                        We’ll make our mark on the day that we discover

                        The ultimate reward of our cutie marks

Bloom: Now that’s more like it!

Song ends

(They get alarmed back into the here and now by the sound of the door opening.)

Pipsqueak (Pip): (from o.s., frantically) Cutie Mark Crusaders!

(Pan quickly to the upper portion of the door and tilt down to frame the pinto colt in time with his next word.)

Pip: HEEELLLP!!

Bloom: What’s wrong, Pipsqueak?

Pip: I’m running for student pony president! (He steps inside; they move closer.) I was hoping you three would be my campaign managers!

(An inquisitive look passes between the three fillies, followed by a smile.)

Bloom: (to Scootaloo, Sweetie) We’ve never tried gettin’ our cutie marks in campaign managin’! What do you say, Crusaders?

Crusaders: YEAH!!

(Cut to a point closer to ceiling level; each raises a hoof into view for a three-way high five.)

Crusaders: (from o.s.) Huh!

(A fourth, thinner hoof flails up toward them but falls shy of making contact—Pip, whose legs are a bit too short to reach. It drops out of sight, only to be replaced by the colt himself in the grip of Sweetie’s magic. He is a little puzzled by the sudden assist, but touches his hoof to the other three. Cut to an overhead shot of the four, all trading smiles and grins, and fade to black.)

OPENING THEME

Act One

(Opening shot: fade in to Bloom striding confidently across a stretch of grass, a couple of foals talking in the background. Sweetie shoves a crate into view with her head, and Scootaloo carries Pip into view and sets him on top. These two back off once they have done their part, and Bloom stops alongside.)

Bloom: (loudly) So, Pip…

(Longer shot of the area, which proves to be the Ponyville schoolhouse lawn.)

Bloom: …how would you help the school if you were elected student pony president? (Foals start to gather in.)

Pip: Our playground equipment took quite a beating during Twilight’s battle with Tirek.

(Case in point: the swing set, whose frame is badly bent and cracked. One of the two swings has already given way, and the other promptly does likewise, dumping the youngster sitting in it to the grass.)

Pip: If I’m voted in as student pony president, I’ll go to the school board and right this wrong!

(A round of cheers from the spectators, which gets cut off when Diamond Tiara shoves her way through from behind, followed by Silver Spoon.)

Diamond: Well, I think that’s a ridiculous waste of money! (scornfully, pointing at Twist) It’s just like when Twist proposed to repair the window that Discord destroyed. (Lean in close.) She just wanted to repair it like a plain old schoolhouse window.

(The bespectacled filly cringes; now the snooty one turns to another student.)

Diamond: But you all know voting for me was the best choice— (crossing lawn; Silver follows) —because I convinced the school board to give that window visual appeal!

(On these last two words, pan quickly to follow her pointing hoof and stop on the side wall. One of its windows depicts a stained-glass rendition of Diamond standing on a hilltop against a sparkling sunrise. After she finishes, pan back to a dismayed Pip and a disaffected Bloom.)

Bloom: ’Course, it doesn’t hurt that her mother, Spoiled Rich, is president of the school board. (Candidate and manager trade half-smirking smiles.)

Silver: (from o.s.) Exactly! (crossing to Crusaders, Pip; with growing glee) Which is why when Diamond Tiara is voted student pony president, the school will be putting a statue of her in the center of our schoolyard!

(Diamond’s sharp pull on her braid shatters the rapture.)

Diamond: Silver Spoon! (through gritted teeth, nudging her in the chest) That was my big announcement for when I won!

Silver: (sighing, shaken) I was only trying to help.

Diamond: (through teeth) I don’t need that kind of help! (Bloom pops up in front of them.)

Bloom: (to crowd) Haven’t we all had enough of Diamond Tiara? (Murmurs begin.)

Scootaloo: Do we really need a big statue of her?

Sweetie: Especially where our playground equipment should be?

(The murmurs grow as Bloom smirks at the opposing candidate, who scowls in reply at first but lets her eyes widen as she glances around at the prospective voters. Now, in close-up, Scootaloo shoves Pip up to the top of the giant upside-down horseshoe that stands in the playground. On the start of the next line, zoom out quickly to frame all the foals.)

Pip: A vote for Pip is a vote for the playground! (Diamond leaps over to the base; zoom in quickly on her.)

Diamond: A vote for Diamond Tiara is a vote for more Diamond Tiara!

Marching drum cadence with stoptime acoustic guitar/string chords, brisk 4 (A major)

(She glares upward as the Crusaders climb the horseshoe to stand with Pip.)

Crusaders:                It’s time to make a change, this is our chance

(Bloom beckons the crowd toward herself, and the three hoist Pip overhead.)

                        Don’t be afraid to do what’s right [He’s it! Vote for Pip!]

(Set him back on the horseshoe; next the four leap down off one side.)

                        You’ve got an opportunity to have fun again

(They fall into a marching line, with him in the lead.)

                        A vote for Pip and you can join the fight

Stoptime ends

                        It’s time for a new leader, it’s time to make a change

(The Crusaders double back to a merry-go-round on which two fillies are riding.)

                        We’re here to fight for what we believe [Vote for Pip!]

(The base gives way, dumping them onto the ground; now the trio hurries to catch up with Pip.)

                        It’s finally time we beat her and play a better game

(All stop at a tetherball pole; he bucks the ball away.)

                        ’Cause when we vote together, there’s nothing that we can’t achieve

Pompous orchestral waltz, slightly slower 3

(As the ball swings past the camera on its return trip, the view wipes behind it to a close-up of an incredibly annoyed Diamond. She stops it with one front hoof and begins to move about, facing down one foal and then another.)

Diamond:                I don’t believe what I am hearing, I’m the only one who should be

     cheering

(She shoves Pip’s face into the grass.)

                        Pipsqueak? Try “Pip’s Weak,” don’t you think?

(The Crusaders glower at her; now she prances and twirls, fluffing her mane.)

                        But a diamond is perfection, it’s a natural selection

(Behind her, a giant ballot slides into view to block out the sky and trees. One of its two boxes is marked with a well-drawn picture of her face, the other with a sloppy caricature of Pip’s.)

                        So your vote better be for me, not the weakest link

(One bottom corner is shoved aside from behind by Bloom, exposing her and Scootaloo.)

Bloom: We’ll let the votin’ decide!

A minor

(Diamond storms off. Bloom lets the corner fall back into place; the whole ballot them rolls up to the left, the view wiping to the incumbent smugly stepping among her intimidated classmates.)

Diamond:                 Everypony has their little secrets

(spoken, to a colt) I know you do!

(He recoils worriedly; now she turns to a filly, stroking her cheek.)

                        A vote for me will help you keep them safe

(Same response; she crosses to a filly who has tilted the entire schoolhouse up off the ground with one foreleg to get at a kickball beneath.)

(spoken) Like your creepy super-strength!

(The building crashes back into place as the instantly chastened youngster gazes after Diamond, who has already zipped away to flick at a filly’s unusually long and shaggy mane/tail.)

                        Or your mane extension, a little thing I won’t mention

(Now she pulls down a colt’s bottom lip, exposing a set of teeth much bigger than average.)

                        Or those freakish large teeth in your face

(He hastily claps hooves over his mouth.)

Bloom: (from o.s.) Come on now, ponies! (Pan quickly to the Crusaders.) Don’t listen to her!

March feel/tempo (A major)

Stoptime at first, but transitioning out of it

(The ballot slides partway into view, filling the right half of the screen, with Pip’s face properly drawn next to his box now. It gets a check mark; the left side pans to frame him marching next to Scootaloo.)

Crusaders:                You’ve gotta vote for change, it’s time for a new leader

(An X is drawn over Diamond’s face; the ballot slides left, the view wiping behind it to a close-up of the shocked/resentful incumbent.)

                        End all the tyranny, vote now and we can beat her

(Cut to the four, waving from the front porch, and zoom out. A voting booth has been set up on the lawn, and foals file in to cast ballots as Cheerilee watches.)

                        It’s now another day, and we believe in what’s right 

(One is checked for Pip and dropped into a waiting box.)

                        Vote for Pip! Vote for Pip! Our victory is in sight

Waltz feel/tempo (G flat minor)

(Diamond stands up into view, her back to the camera, and waves for attention.)

Diamond: Stop! Everypony who hasn’t voted, listen up!

(She paces to a filly with a couple of books under one foreleg, another in her teeth, and several others scattered nearby on the ground.)

Diamond:                Pip makes promises he can’t keep, but I can do more

(spoken;holding up a saddlebag) You could really use a new book bag.

(Snatching it away from the reaching hoof, she crosses to two other foals.)

                        ’Cause I’ll make things happen that none of you here can afford

(spoken, in rhythm) To do, like, ever

(Now she shoves candy into a filly’s mouth and gives an umbrella to another as shade from the overhead sun.)

                        Wouldn’t you like a little something sweet? Here’s a parasol to hide you

     from the heat

(Walking past a beanie-wearing colt, she flicks its propeller and sets the whole thing to lifting clean off his head.)

                        Who says that I can’t be nice?

                        But first there’s one thing, an itsy-bitsy little string

(Stop at a crudely drawn, unflattering picture of Pip on a sign; spin it to show her smug visage on the other side.)

                        And voting for me is the price

Gentle flute/string melody with light percussion (D major)

(Silver sidles up next to Diamond.)

Silver:                I’ve a tiny suggestion

                That you should be aware

                You could probably win this election

Horns in; intensity builds

(Zoom out as she gestures to the line of voters.)

                If you show them all you real—

Music pauses

(Zoom in quickly on the pair again.)

Diamond: I don’t recall asking you to speak! (Shocked gasps all around; cut to the porch.)

Sweetie: Well, if that’s how you treat your best friend, then I choose Pipsqueak!

March feel/tempo, stoptime over a mandolin line (A major)

Background lyrics are shouted by the other foals, over the corresponding line

(They descend the steps and parade down the front walk.)

Crusaders:                [Vote! For Pip!] Stand strong and we’ll not be afraid, ponies

(Diamond and Silver soon find themselves standing alone as their audience departs.)

                        [Vote!] Let’s free ourselves from the past

(The entire view swivels 180 degrees on a vertical axis through the center of the screen, revealing a background wallpapered with Pip campaign posters. Several foals stand before them and hold up more copies on signs.)

Foals:                        [He’s it! Vote for Pip!]

(A box is marked, and foals enter/exit the voting booth.)

Crusaders:                [Vote! For Pip!] We’ll let honor win now against the tyranny

(One of Diamond’s posters drifts down to fill the screen and is torn in half; now the screen shows the challenger and managers proceeding along the walk.)

                        [Vote!] And make a change that will last

Foals:                        [Vote for Pip!]

Stoptime ends; tambourine/horns in

(Pip walks proudly past the voters.)

Crusaders:                It’s time for a new leader, it’s time to make a change

(Diamond rolls her eyes disgustedly as Silver aims a worried glance her way.)

                        We’re here to fight for what we believe

(Two vertical panels slide in from opposite sides, framing the strong filly and the beanie colt.)

                        [Vote for Pip!]

(Fullscreen: Pip steps onto a decrepit seesaw, and a colt gallops over to pull down the high end and lift him up for a good view of the whole lawn.)

                        It’s finally time we beat her and play a better game

                        ’Cause when we vote together, there’s nothing that we can’t achieve

(Hooves of all colors shoot skyward toward him.)

                        [Vote for Pip!]

Song ends

(Snap to black.)

Act Two

(Opening shot: fade in to a long overhead shot of the schoolhouse and lawn, panning slowly toward the building. Cheerilee stands on the porch to address her students.)

Cheerilee: The votes have been counted.

(Split screen, with a nervous, hoof-biting Pip on the left and a supremely confident Diamond on the right.)

Cheerilee: (from o.s.) The student pony president is… (Diamond starts to move forward.) …Pipsqueak!

(She turns to stare popeyed at him across the dividing line, drawing in a disbelieving gasp, and her side slides away as his moves over to fill the screen. There are more than enough cheers to go around; close-up of Bloom.)

Bloom: Oh my gosh, Crusaders! Pip won! (Longer shot on the start of the next line; Pip crosses to them.)

Pip: I couldn’t have won without the hard work of my campaign managers, the Cutie Mark Crusaders!

Sweetie: (rearing up briefly) Campaign manager cutie marks!

(All three glance hopefully toward their haunches, but find no changes in them whatsoever.)

Diamond: (from o.s.) Guess you’re not as good as you thought, blank flanks!

(Cut to her on these last two words; Cheerilee, irked, stares at her from the porch.)

Diamond: (to her) In fact, I demand a recount!

Cheerilee: (dryly) Trust me, Diamond Tiara. Pip won.

Diamond: (walking up steps) I’ll be the judge of that, Miss Cheerilee!

(Cut to a long shot of the schoolhouse as she enters. Long, tense silence.)

Diamond: (from inside) WHAAAAAAAT?!?!?

(Her one word shakes not only the structure, but the surrounding turf and the camera as well. Close-up of the porch; she zips out to the doorway, utterly confounded, as Cheerilee cringes.)

Diamond: One vote! (stepping out) Silver Spoon! (zipping down to her) You didn’t vote for me?

Silver: No, I didn’t.

Diamond: But…y-you’re my best friend!

Silver: Am I? ’Cause I tried to help by mentioning your surprise statue, and suddenly I wasn’t even allowed to speak. You could’ve actually won this election if you’d just listened to me. (Diamond’s mouth falls open.) You want to know how? (leaning close, softly/viciously) Sorry, I’m not allowed to speak.

(She snaps the slack jaw closed on this last word; as soon as she takes her hoof away, its owner goes into a rising growl. Zoom out quickly to frame the president-elect and his staff as Diamond completely blows her top with a feral scream and gallops off.)

Silver: What? (Close-up.) I don’t have to follow her drama anymore.

(She walks calmly off, leaving the three fillies and the pint-size pinto trying to wrap their heads around the last few seconds. Pip exits after a moment; zoom in slowly on the Crusaders.)

Bloom: I know Diamond Tiara’s been pretty awful, but…we should probably make sure she’s okay. Just ’cause she’s never cared about anypony else’s feelings, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t care about hers.

(By this point, all six eyes have turned in the direction of Diamond’s exit. Dissolve to an overhead shot of her trudging glumly down a Ponyville street. As she approaches a shop whose overhead sign shows a mare’s head in a tall powdered wig, its door opens and out steps a pink earth pony mare with a tinge of red in her coat. The Crusaders poke their heads out from around the corner of a building across the street to watch. This mare is Spoiled Rich, Diamond’s mother, as mentioned by Bloom in Act One.)

(A close-up of mother and daughter picks out Spoiled’s carefully styled, two-tone purple mane/tail, scornful dark blue-green eyes with blue-violet shadow, hint of a double chin, and diamond-ring cutie mark. She wears a light blue blouse with short, ruffled sleeves and a gem-studded gold hem, as well as a necklace of gold links, and sounds about an order of magnitude more stuck-up than Diamond.)

Spoiled: Diamond Tiara! (The latter freezes, stunned; Spoiled circles to her other side.) Why are you making that face? That is not the face of a winner.

Diamond: (very hesitantly) Because…I didn’t win.

Spoiled: (affronted) Whaaat? You mean I hefted all these party supplies to celebrate nothing?!?

(A longer shot of the shop on the end of this line gives the lie to her claim. Two maids are hauling bags of supplies and a bunch of balloons, and the family’s old butler Randolph—as seen in “Twilight Time”—has drawn the job of lugging a large statue of the arrogant filly on his back. Once Spoiled finishes speaking, his legs give out under the weight and it crushes him flat.)

Diamond: Sorry, Mother.

Spoiled: It’s bad enough you lost to that transplant from Trottingham, but imagine if you’d lost to one of those… (voice dripping contempt) …blank flanks.

(The expression that comes across her face gives the idea that those two words cause her no small amount of gastrointestinal distress.)

Spoiled: As a Rich pony, you must always think of your social standing.

(Fancypants and Fleur stroll by, turning their noses up; he voices a self-satisfied little chuckle. Zoom in slowly on Diamond and Spoiled after they have gone.)

Spoiled: That starts here in Ponyville and reaches all over Equestria! (She leans into Diamond’s face, lifting her chin.) Don’t ever forget that, Diamond Tiara—ever!

Melancholy, quiet flute/piano/acoustic guitar melody with glockenspiel accents

Moderate 4 (A major)

(Cut to the Crusaders, still hunkered down at their vantage point, and zoom out to frame Diamond and Spoiled. The mother walks off, nose in air, and the crushed daughter slowly moves off down the street. Extreme close-up of a large diamond on display in a shop window; her reflection appears in the glass, and the camera zooms out to frame her eyeing the gem forlornly.)

Flute/glockenspiel out

Diamond:                If I’m a diamond, then why do I feel so rough?

                        I’m as strong as a stone, even that’s not enough

(She kicks a rock fragment away and begins to walk.)

                        There’s something jagged in me, and I’ve made such mistakes

                        I thought that diamonds were hard, though I feel I could break

Guitar out; flute/strings in

(The view silently shatters, the pieces falling away to show her now standing on a bridge over the stream bordering Ponyville. A happy stallion and filly walk past behind her—father and daughter, perhaps—and leave her alone as she looks morosely out over the side.)

Diamond:                 Would you believe

                        That I’ve always wished I could be somepony else?

                        Yet I can’t see

 (Close-up, seen from below; tears gather in the blue eyes.)

                        What I need to do to be the pony I want to be

(As they fall to fill the screen, the camera shifts to a close-up of her image in the water; now the tears drop away from the camera to splash down.)

Glockenspiel in

(Five stirred-up droplets of water drift away from the stream, the background fading to black. They become blue-green circles and drift down onto her haunch in extreme close-up, settling themselves onto the points of the tiara that is her cutie mark and flaring brightly for a moment. Zoom out to frame her in the fore, with ghostly images of herself being addressed by a disapproving Spoiled farther back.)

Flute/glockenspiel out; guitar in

Diamond:                 I’ve been told my whole life what to do, what to say

(Pivot 180 degrees; Sugarcube Corner fades in behind her, and Mr. and Mrs. Cake smile at Pound and Pumpkin.)

                        Nopony showed me that there might be some better way

(The background tilts up until it is nothing but clear blue sky…)

                        And now I feel like I’m lost, I don’t know what to do

(…which then recedes to become a hole in the ground, seen from below as she descends into it and falls o.s.)

                        The ground is sinking away, I’m about to fall through

Flute/glockenspiel/light percussion in

(A backdrop of glowing pink gems appears, and she rises into view on a large blue diamond.)

Diamond:                 Would you believe

(She is swept past the camera and o.s.; behind her, wipe to a slow pan down a street as she walks among the contented locals.)

                        That I’ve always wished I could be somepony else?

(The Crusaders peek out from a corner, faces showing true concern for the filly who has bullied them so mercilessly.)

                        Yet I can’t see

(tearing up)                What I need to do to be the pony I want to be

(Dissolve to a long shot of her walking slowly along an empty street.)

                        To be the pony I want to be

Song ends

(Zoom out slightly to put the Crusaders in the fore as they step a bit closer, then cut to a head-on shot of them.)

Sweetie: I-Is it weird that I feel bad for her?

Scootaloo: (scratching back of neck) If it is, then…I’m weird too.

Bloom: She wants to change, but…she doesn’t know how.

Sweetie: (smiling) Seems like she could use a friend or two to help her figure it out.

(The yellow filly’s mouth curves up as well. Dissolve to a close-up of the ringing bell in the tower atop the schoolhouse, then pan/tilt down to ground level. Chattering foals stampede and fly out the door, classes having ended for the day. Diamond lags well behind them, and the Crusaders hang farther back still, stopping on the porch.)

Bloom: (waving) Hey! Diamond Tiara!

(They gallop down the steps; close-up of the pink filly, wearing a rather sour look.)

Bloom: (from o.s.) Wait up! (She turns toward them.)

Diamond: What do you three want? To gloat? (They stop in front of her.) Rub in my defeat? (She starts away.)

Bloom: Actually, we wanted to invite you to our clubhouse to hang out.

(That gets a reaction, freezing Diamond in her tracks and causing her eyes to pop in pure surprise, and she turns back with a puzzled brow drawn down over one eye.)

Diamond: Really?

Scootaloo: Yeah, for real.

Diamond: (sourly, rising to hind legs) Well, thanks to you all, I don’t have any important class-president business to attend to or anything— (crossing forelegs) —so I might as well.

(This declaration is followed by a world-class grimace.)

Sweetie: (smiling hesitantly) That sounds like a yes.

(Bloom and Scootaloo smile as well. Dissolve to a long shot of the clubhouse; zoom in slowly.)

Diamond: (voice over, scornfully) So…

(Cut to the filled and empty cutie mark idea lists on the wall inside.)

Diamond: (walking into view) …do you three just sit around here plotting out different ways to try and get your cutie marks? (Cut to the Crusaders by the door.)

Bloom: Actually… (All three smile.) …yeah. (Sweetie nods.)

Diamond: You three are…

(She cuts herself off, thinking hard; when she resumes, the haughtiness is completely gone.)

Diamond: …uh, really lucky. (Cut to the trio and zoom in quickly.)

Crusaders: (flabbergasted) We are?

Diamond: (from o.s.) Yeah! (Back to her.) You get to explore all these options, learning who you really are before you’re stuck with something you don’t understand. (Bloom moves toward her.)

Bloom: But…y-you’ve done that…right?

Diamond: (very snarky, pointing at haunch) Yeah, ’cause I have my cutie mark, and I’m not struggling at all to figure out who I’m supposed to be and what I’m supposed to be doing with this mark that’s already on my flank!

Bloom: Uh…are you sure about that?

Diamond: (scoffing) That’s a weird question. (She narrows her eyes icily.)

Sweetie: (scratching back of neck) Not really, since we kind of overheard you yesterday.

(The spoiled-rotten filly, freshly incensed by this admission, leans toward her with an accusingly pointed foreleg and a short, acidic scoff.)

Diamond: Were you trying to get your cutie mark in spying?!? Is that on your little chart?!?

Sweetie: No! We were just worried about you when you lost the election, and then you lost your friend, and then your mom yelled at you.

Bloom: We know you want to change, and…we think we can—

Pip: (from outside, through wall) HEEEELLLP!!

(During this yell, cut to him outside, halfway up the ramp and frantically drumming his hooves against it. The door opens so that the Crusaders can get a look at him.)

Pip: Cutie Mark Crusaders! I was at the school board meeting, and they didn’t approve my request for the new playground equipment!

Sweetie: Why not?

Pip: There’s no money in the budget! So I checked my peggy bank to see if I had enough bits…

(On the end of this, cut to a close-up of an upside-down piggy bank being lifted, styled as a potbellied pink pegasus. A good shake dislodges only a dead insect, a couple of puffs of lint, and a piece of candy; he leans down over the spot where they have hit the ramp.)

Pip: …but my little peggy wasn’t nearly full enough!

Sweetie: Don’t worry, Pip!

Scootaloo: We’ll meet you back at school.

Bloom: And help you find a solution!

Pip: (wiping his forehead) Thanks, Cutie Mark Crusaders!

(As he starts down the ramp, his defeated opponent comes to the doorway, her face already rearranged into its old venomous smile.)

Diamond: Oh, I already have a solution. Our new student pony president is gonna be kicked out of office and I’ll be reinstated!

Urgent drum cadence with flute melody and string bass, fast 4 (E minor)

(She reaches the bottom of the ramp almost too fast to follow and sprints off through the trees.)

Scootaloo: Where is she going?

Bloom: Where do you think? (diving down ramp) Come on! After her! (Scootaloo follows.)

Sweetie: Wait! (She and Scootaloo take the plunge.) I’m coming too! (They start to catch up to Diamond.)

Higher strings in

Diamond:                Cutie Mark Crusaders, get out of my way

(Cut briefly to her perspective, approaching Ponyville proper, then back to her crossing the bridge over the stream.)

                        Those ponies need to know the truth, and they’ll hear it from me

(Here come the Crusaders in hot pursuit; a couple of ponies stare after them, puzzled, and the chase moves into a street.)

Horns in

Crusaders:                Stop! Diamond Tiara, this is not the way                

                        We know you’re better than this hostility

(Pan quickly ahead to a stallion hauling a cartload of apples. Diamond stops and overturns it, causing them to skid and tumble, and races off down the block.)


Flute out

Diamond:                You don’t even know me at all

Don’t understand the meaning of my fall

(Her headlong flight takes her past a gathering of affluent ponies, including both of her parents, Filthy and Spoiled Rich.)

                        What my family would think if I ever

Fail at anything

(They glance quizzically after her. Close-up of Spoiled; she tosses her head imperiously, the view wiping behind it to a head-on view of Diamond galloping toward the camera.)

Diamond:                 I’m a diamond, that means you never break

(Overhead shot; she weaves through the ponies enjoying the day and turns into an alley.)

                        No matter what be the cost of the path I take

(Another turn, then back to a main road.)

                        Whatever I have to do to win in the end

                

(The Crusaders whip into view in front of her, standing as a three-pony roadblock, but she veers around them.)

Flute in

Crusaders:                Stop! This is not the answer

(Another cutoff attempt, foiled by a hairpin turn.)

                        Wait! And it’s plainly seen

(A third try, another miss; now they start after her.)

                        Listen! You can redeem yourself

                        But by helping others, not by being mean

(They pull ahead of her and turn around, galloping backwards at full speed to face her.)

Flute out; acoustic guitar in

Crusaders:                We know you want friends who admire you

                        You want to be the star with all the power, too

                        But there’s a better way, there’s a better way

Flute in (G major)

(As Diamond continues to hurtle along the street, the three drop in alongside her.)

Crusaders:                There’s so much more still left to

                        Learn about yourself

                        See the light that shines in you

(She looks back at her cutie mark, a mix of fear and confusion in her eyes.)

                        We know you can be somepony else

(The Crusaders pull up and skid to a stop at a fork in the road.)

Crusaders:                 You can stop right now

(Zoom out; they gesture to their left, toward a gazebo standing under a bright, rainbow-lit sky. To their right, the path leads through a foreboding patch of woods to the schoolhouse, under a sky thick with gray clouds and shadow. The ballot box and posters are gone from the lawn.)

                        And try another start

(Diamond looks from one to the other, panic growing in her eyes.)

                        You’ll finally free yourself from the dark

                        And see the light, and see the light of your cutie mark

All instruments out except for flute/strings/swelling cymbal roll (E minor)

(To their very great dismay, she swerves to their right and makes a beeline for the schoolhouse. The camera is now close enough to pick out Cheerilee, Pip, and the crowd of foals gathered out front, and Diamond stops before them to catch her breath.)

Music pauses on an ominous chord accented by a heavy percussion note

Diamond: (as Crusaders gallop to the scene) Everypony, I have an announcement!

(All three recoil in horror, anticipating all too clearly the upheaval she is about to set off. Cut to a close-up of them, zooming in slowly.)

Song ends with one last flourish

(Snap to black at the same time.)

Act Three

(Opening shot: fade in to the confrontation. The sky has returned to its normal blue.)

Bloom: Diamond Tiara! Think hard about the choice you’re makin’ right now! (Head-on view of the four fillies, the focus on the Crusaders.)

Scootaloo: You can be a better pony!

(The focus shifts to Diamond as indecision tears at her mind, but before she can even get a word out, the sound of the door opening cuts in.)

Spoiled: (from o.s.) Diamond Tiara!

(All four look up in shock; back to the crowd, which parts to give an uncomfortably clear view of the materfamilias glaring from the porch. Zoom in on her.)

Spoiled: (toying with mane) I just happened to be here for the school board meeting— (gesturing to one side) —and this is what I see when we adjourn? My daughter associating with confused, insignificant lowlifes? Socializing with their kind is not how you move up in Equestria!

(During the second sentence, cut to Diamond and pan slowly to follow Spoiled as she paces behind her and the Crusaders. The level of undiluted contempt radiating from the mare is almost enough to reduce a Sherman tank to scrap metal. Bloom aims a searching look back toward Diamond, while Scootaloo sends a half-squinched glare after Spoiled and Sweetie’s brain seems to lock up. Back to Diamond.)

Spoiled: (from o.s.) Come, Diamond Tiara!

(That command kicks her out of the morass of wavering self-doubt that has claimed her, and her face rearranges itself into a look of quiet, steely resolve. Cut to behind Spoiled, walking imperiously back toward the main road.)

Diamond: (from o.s.) No, Mother! (Spoiled whirls back, unable to believe her ears.)

Spoiled: Excuse me? (Longer shot, framing all five.)

Diamond: You’ve spent your life acting like a high horse, and raised me to follow in your hoofprints! (walking slowly toward her) At first I thought this was fine, but then I finally realized I wanted something you don’t have—friends!

(There follows a tripartite gasp from the Crusaders, backed up by a round from the rest of the bunch. Spoiled puts a hoof to her mouth, unsure of how to react to this outburst—but only for a moment until she draws herself up to full height.)

Spoiled: That’s enough, Diamond Tiara! Step away from those blank flanks!

Diamond: (glancing toward Crusaders, smiling) These are the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and they are my friends! (Back to a dumbfounded Spoiled; she continues o.s.) You need to stop calling them such mean and hurtful names! (To the four; slow pan across them.) They are working harder to get their cutie marks than anypony I’ve ever seen— (The entire gathering.) —and they will get them exactly when they discover their true talent— (stepping toward Spoiled) —which I guarantee will be amazing!

(Throughout all of this, the Crusaders’ expressions shift from queasy frowns to incredulous gapes to warm smiles—their nemesis is making peace at long last. Cut to a close-up of Spoiled, so dumbfounded that her brain seems to have forgotten exactly what to do with her jaw.)

Diamond: (from o.s.) Now— (Zoom out slightly to frame her.) —will you please deliver this to Father?

(Ducking her head to one side, she comes up with a paper in her teeth.)

Spoiled: (cowed) Yes. Of course, dear.

(The sheet is transferred to her mouth, and she walks cautiously off the grounds as if fearing that her daughter might come after her with a large and heavy blunt object. Instead, said daughter turns back to the Crusaders.)

Diamond: I have to thank you, Crusaders. (pacing past them) Obviously I’ve known since I got my cutie mark that my talent is getting other ponies to do what I want. (facing crowd) I just asked my father if he could donate the money for the new playground equipment.

(Awed, appreciative murmurs from Cheerilee and foals; now she walks up to Pip.)

Same melody as her Act Two solo song, but with an upbeat feel

Acoustic guitar, bass, light percussion, off-beat pizzicato strings/mandolin, bright 4 (A major)

Diamond: I know you were worried there for a second, weren’t you? Ha! Well, I think it’s all gonna work out just fine— (winking) —Mr. President.

(She trots along the front walk as other students fall in behind her.)

Diamond:                We’ll build a playground for all of us to enjoy

(to Crusaders)                So full of games, there’s enough for each girl and boy

(They follow; now she jumps up to the porch.)

                        I want to help and do everything that I can

                        I’m here to show you I’ve changed, listen up, here’s the plan

Bowed strings in

(Dissolve to the playground. She backs into view past a few foals.)

Diamond: Bring it in!

(Zoom out. A unicorn delivery stallion is magically maneuvering a dolly stacked high with crates; Pip rides atop the lot, and several foals are walking alongside.)

Diamond: That’s right! Keep it coming!

(Now she turns to a group that includes the very strong filly she tried to blackmail in Act One.)

Diamond: Hey there. (The others bail out.) You with the amazing strength. (pointing) Can you help them move that merry-go-round across the lawn?

(During this line, the camera pans quickly to the broken-down item in question, being towed slowly along by a colt and filly—and cutting a deep furrow in the grass. The powerhouse zips over and easily lifts it with her head; zoom out to frame Diamond on the start of the next line.)

Diamond: Thank you so much! (Now she turns to the colt with the oversized chompers.) And you, with the super teeth. (He hastily covers them.) We need you to help with that teeter-totter.

(Cut to Twist, trying to drag the old seesaw away and having no luck at it. The colt whisks to the other end, clamps his teeth onto it, and effortlessly lifts both it and her so he can walk it away.)

Diamond: (from o.s.) You’ve got it! That’s the spirit!

Same melody as the Crusader’s final verses of Act Two, triumphant

Guitar/pizzicato out; glockenspiel/horns in; percussion strengthens (G major)

(Her figure floats across the screen in close-up. Behind it, the view wipes to a head-on view of her and zooms out across the playground; Cheerilee and her students are moving and unpacking the new gear, and Twilight Sparkle has arrived to lend a horn.)

Diamond:                There’s so much I can do

To help everypony else

(Her cutie mark flares with a new light.)

                        I see the light that shines in me

(Close-up of a rope being magically knotted through the board seat of a new swing, then zoom out. Sweetie has done this bit of work, and she trades a smile with Bloom and Scootaloo.)

                        And now I can be my better self

(A new tetherball pole is set into place, after which the view dissolves to her standing at a distance from the schoolhouse.)

Diamond:                I can free the past

                        ’Cause now the future’s bright for me

(The sun rises over the rooftop, bathing her in its gentle glow. Cut to Silver, hammering a nail into a fence post. One rail falls loose, eliciting a frustrated grimace around the handle in her teeth.)

                        My cutie mark has set me free

(It is lifted back into place; zoom out to show Diamond on the other end, getting a smile from Silver. Dissolve to the peak of a cupola; a pegasus mare flies up, pennant held by its pole in her teeth, and plants it on the pinnacle.)

                        To do what’s right and be the pony I want to be

(Tilt down. The cupola has been installed as a roof for the upper platform of a slide, and Diamond stands here.)

                        And be the pony I want to be

(She slides down, the camera zooming out quickly to frame an impressive complex of interconnected play equipment—slides, ramps, steps, platforms, and so on.)

Song ends

(Cheerilee, Pip, Silver, and other students gather around the reformed bully. Cut to the Crusaders, standing near the schoolhouse.)

Bloom: I’ve been thinkin’, Crusaders. We spend an awful lot of time fussin’ and frettin’, tryin’ to discover our true talent, but when we take a little time off, we end up helpin’ other ponies figure out their true talent.

Sweetie: Yeah! And I think that’s way more important that worrying about our cutie marks. (Scootaloo grins and nods.) Don’t you?

Scootaloo: Absolutely! (jumping up) I don’t care if I ever get my cutie mark— (pulling others closer) —as long as I get to hang out with my best friends.

(She breaks into an ear-to-ear grin as they share a brief three-way hug. Bloom breaks it to walk across the grass.)

Bloom: So what do you say, Crusaders?

                

(Cut to behind the rest of the crowd, looking over the new setup. Zoom out to frame Bloom on the start of the next line.)

Bloom: Want to just focus on helpin’ others find their cutie marks?                

(The camera shifts to a point a short distance above ground; as in the prologue, three hooves reach up into view and clap together.)

Crusaders: (from o.s.) YEAH!!

(This particular high five goes just a bit differently from all the others they have performed. Namely: a crackle of pink-edged white energy forms at the point of contact and begins to expand, tracing its way down the three forelegs. Within seconds, it has descended to the turf and grown into a ring that encircles them; next it splits into three separate groups of filaments edged in different colors—red for Bloom, magenta for Scootaloo, violet for Sweetie. The strange power lifts them off the ground, fading away to be replaced by a matching aura around each youthful equine. A blinding flash turns those coronas to pure white, and they slowly rise high and higher before another one washes out the screen.)

(Fade in to Diamond, Pip, Silver, Snips, and Snails. As they risk a glance toward the epicenter, the three fillies descend insensate to the ground and the light shrinks away to a small white spot on each haunch. Scootaloo is first to rise and rub her eyes, framed in a profile close-up of her face; a stunned murmuring drifts over to her, and the camera cuts to a slow pan across a sea of smiling faces. Sweetie comes up next, seen in close-up next to Scootaloo.)

Sweetie: What happened? (Zoom out slightly to frame Bloom on Scootaloo’s other side.)

Bloom: What’s goin’ on?

Diamond: (awed) It’s your cutie marks! They’re amazing!

(All three heads whip around to stare at the corresponding haunches, the lights having faded away, and a series of extreme close-ups tells the reason for Diamond’s words. Each now bears a shield striped vertically in red, light pink, and magenta; a purple symbol is overlaid on each, containing a bright pink one in turn. Bloom: heart within an apple. Sweetie: eighth note within a star. Scootaloo: lightning bolt within a wing. Their new bearers trade giddy grins before jumping wildly in place.)

Crusaders: WE ALL GOT THE SAME CUTIE MARK!!

(Extreme close-up of all three haunches being placed back to back to back.)

Crusaders: CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS FOREVER!!

Same melody/tempo as in prologue

Mandolin/acoustic guitar/light percussion (E major)

(Zoom out as they break apart.)

Crusaders:                 We were searching for our cutie marks for a while there

(Group hug.)

                        Trying to find out how we fit in

Bass in

(They circle around the others.)

                        So many ways we tried before, but we kept on trying more

                        ’Cause the Cutie Mark Crusaders don’t give in

Snare drum comes in, off-beat

(They break into a gallop; dissolve to a close-up of Scootaloo walking tall and proud.)

Scootaloo:                 Now we know what it took all along

(Zoom out; Sweetie is with her.)

Sweetie:                And our journey here is never really done

(Bloom pulls up between them.)

Bloom:                For it is more than just a mark, it’s a place for us to start

Crusaders:                An adventure that has only just begun

Trumpet in

(Now they lead the class through Ponyville.)

We’ll make our mark, show the world what we can do

                        We’ll make our mark, helping fillies to break through

(A leap takes them high above the street.)

                        To the ultimate reward of a cutie mark

(Three vertical panels slide in from top/bottom to tile the screen. Each replaces one filly and shows her new mark against a background of her coat color—left to right: Sweetie, Bloom, Scootaloo.)

All instruments out except guitar/bass/light percussion

(Dissolve to the front entrance of Sugarcube Corner. The class has gathered near the open door, where Pinkie Pie hunches down to their level. Applejack watches proudly from one foreground corner, Scootaloo and Sweetie stand in the other.)

Pinkie: All right, everypony! Get ready for the biggest cute-ceañera celebration EVER!!

(She bounds up on this last word, throwing a burst of confetti over the crowd. Cheers ring out as the camera pans slightly to follow Applejack’s glance over her shoulder, happy tears filling the green eyes.)

Applejack: Oh, sugar cube…

(Longer shot; she is addressing Bloom, and Big Macintosh and Granny Smith are also present, also wet-eyed.)

Applejack: (hugging Bloom) …if Mom and Dad were here, they’d be so proud of you. (Bloom and Macintosh both wipe away tears.)

Bloom: Aw…thanks, Applejack.

Applejack: (pushing her gently forward) Now go on and party with your pals!

(The filly gallops off, the camera panning to follow her for a short distance before stopping on Scootaloo. Rainbow Dash touches down to face her and deliver an affectionate noogie.)

Strings/tambourine/woodwinds in

Rainbow:                 I’m so proud of you, little buddy

                        You’ve taught me a thing or two

(They trade a high five and gallop off. Zoom out to put Rarity and Sweetie in the fore, the big sister supporting the little one’s front hooves with hers.)

Rarity:                 You’ve inspired everypony around you        (Sweetie blushes.)

                        And you’ve inspired me too

Tambourine out; mandolin/trumpet/full percussion in

(Cut to a patch of sky and tilt down to street level. Twilight, Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Spike have gathered to one side, Cheerilee and students on the other, and the three big sisters—by blood and by choice—are front and center, marching forward.)

Applejack, Rainbow, Rarity:        You’ve made your mark, done Equestria so proud

(Stop facing the Crusaders; Rainbow now hovering.)

                                        You’ve made your mark, and we’re here to sing it loud

(Tilt quickly up into the sky. Six panels slide into view around the periphery, each displaying one of the six mares’ marks against her coat color. The center of the screen tiles itself with the three new ones, shown similarly.)

                                        For the ultimate reward of your cutie mark

                

All instruments out except strings/bass/light percussion

(Dissolve to a close-up of Bloom, standing behind the lectern in the clubhouse. Balloons float above, anchored to the tables, and her head obscures a poster recently added to the wall.)

Bloom: Well, what do you think, Crusaders? (presenting her haunch) Were these cutie marks totally worth waiting for or what?

(Cut to just behind her; she is addressing the other two.)

Sweetie: Yeah! I can’t wait to see who we’re gonna help next!

(A screen-filling flash of white fades away in favor of a quick series of snippets from their past adventures, all rendered in soft focus.)

Mandolin/snare/trumpet in; majestic half-time feel

Crusaders:                We started out just three, Crusaders driven to see

                        What we find in our hearts, discover our destiny

(Now they float against a glowing pink background filled with stars and images of their marks’ shield outline. Large copies of the marks themselves float into view, each forming a backdrop for the filly who wears it.)                        

And here we are, best friends, about to start it again

(The marks flip down so the Crusaders can ride them like surfboards.)

                        An adventure that never will end

(They zoom o.s.; behind them, wipe to the upper boughs of a stretch of apple trees. Normal focus resumes at this point.)

Crusaders:                We’ll make our mark, helping fillies most in need

(Tilt down slowly to bring the clubhouse into view; they hurry down the ramp.)

                        We’ll make our mark, so each one of them succeeds

(The whole gang—adult and child alike—quickly gathers behind them on the grass, and Photo Finish has her camera at the ready.)

                        ’Cause the ultimate reward is a cutie mark

(Its flash fills the screen; from here, snap to Spike outside the schoolhouse, blowing fire onto a scroll to send it to Princess Celestia. Cut to her, sitting on her throne in Canterlot Castle; the wisp of sparkly smoke zooms in, solidifies, and unrolls itself before her face. Princess Luna lands next to her, and Celestia shifts the document so she can look more closely. Cut to a close-up of it, with the fresh group photo affixed to the parchment—Scootaloo and Sweetie proudly pointing to their marks, Bloom beaming for the camera and turned to show hers in full detail.)

Song ends 

(Fade to black.)


THE ONE WHERE PINKIE PIE KNOWS

Written by Gillian M. Berrow

Produced by Devon Cody

Story editing by Meghan McCarthy

Consulting direction by Jayson Thiessen

Supervising direction by Jim Miller

Directed by Denny Lu

Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)

Prologue

(Opening shot: fade in to an extreme close-up of a small tray of cupcakes, three of which are not yet frosted. In time with the following line, an icing bag is used on these, one by one.)

Pinkie Pie: (from o.s., with growing excitement) Five hundred and sixty-six…five hundred and sixty-seven…five hundred and sixty-eight…

(Zoom out slightly to frame her standing over this array of sweet stuff. Both she and it are at the level of the top of a cabinet in Sugarcube Corner; she wears a white chef’s toque, as besmirched with batter as she is.)

Pinkie: (wiping forehead) Phew!

(She sets the bag down. Tilt down quickly to follow her descent to ground level, sliding down a ladder that has been placed next to a multi-tiered display of these treats. Her pet alligator Gummy is down here, with a pacifier-sucking Pound Cake on his back.)

Pinkie: Oh, look at that, Pound Cake!

(Cut to a softly focused close-up of the lowest level and tilt slowly up to the peak.)

Pinkie: (from o.s.) I am so close to breaking my personal cupcake-icing record!

(Normal focus resumes and the camera zooms out quickly to the sound of a door opening. Here comes Mrs. Cake through the back door, studying a sheet of paper, as daughter Pumpkin rides on her back. Daytime sky can be seen through a window.)

Mrs. Cake: My goodness! I can’t believe what I’m seeing here!

Pinkie: (smugly, crossing to her) Pretty impressive, if I do say so myself.

Mrs. Cake: Pinkie, would you mind watching the counter while I pop to the supply room? We’ve just received a very special order, and the ingredients need to be perfect! (Pumpkin gurgles happily.)

Pinkie: (saluting) Okey-dokey-lokey!

Mrs. Cake: Thanks, dear!

(She rockets off toward the back with enough speed to set the pink mare whirling in place. Once the RPM’s slack off, a very dizzy Pinkie pitches face-first to the floor—and that face comes down bang on top of the paper Mrs. Cake has dropped. She sits up to her haunches, the sheet stuck over her features, and pulls it free for a quick read. As she does so, though, she gradually brings it closer and closer to her eyes, to the point that two side-by-side spots on the paper bulge to mark her bugged-out baby blues. They eventually punch holes through it.)

Pinkie: A baby?!? 

(It takes her some effort to yank the document away, exposing a big goofy grin.)

Pinkie: Shining Armor and Princess Cadence are having a baby?!?

(Floor level; Pound rises to a hover and sticks his pacifier in Gummy’s mouth.)

Pinkie: (from o.s, squealing with delight) This is the best news ever! (She bounds over and scoops them both up.) I can’t wait to tell Twilight!

(On the start of the next line, zoom out to put Mrs. Cake and Pumpkin in view, standing behind a display case.)

Mrs. Cake: Oh, and, Pinkie, uh… (hushed) …it’s a top-secret surprise!

(She cuts her eyes warily to both sides, then puts a hoof to her lips.)

Mrs. Cake: (backing slowly into supply room; Pumpkin mimics her) Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

 

(The batwing doors slowly creak shut, leaving the party pony alone. She spreads her forelegs wide, tossing Gummy to the floor and leaving Pound free to touch down.)

Pinkie: (worriedly) A top-secret surprise? (She stands up to all fours.) That means I have to keep the exciting news…

(Zoom in quickly to a close-up; she swallows hard as the zoom continues slowly.)

Pinkie: (small voice) …to myself!

(She claps hooves to cheeks and nibbles her lower lip fearfully. Fade to black.)

OPENING THEME

Act One

(Opening shot: fade in to a long overhead shot of a Ponyville street. The camera roves slowly toward the stream that runs through town and brings Pinkie into view, crossing one of its bridges as she walks away from the town square. Even from this distance, she can be seen to have put away her toque.)

Pinkie: Even though I didn’t technically make a Pinkie Promise to Mrs. Cake—

(Head-on close-up; she has cleaned herself up, and Gummy rides on her tail, still working on Pound’s pacifier.)

Pinkie: —I can’t tell Twilight or anypony the big news. (Profile.) That would make me a…a…a big old surprise-ruiner. Right, Gummy?

(In close-up, he just sucks on the thing a bit; zoom out as she stops and gives him a knowing smile, now on her hind legs.)

Pinkie: Did you take that from Pound Cake again? (She removes him from her tail.) Don’t you know it’s wrong to steal from a baby? (Zoom out again; Rarity has arrived on the scene.)

Rarity: What’s all this about a baby? (Pinkie hides Gummy behind her back.)

Pinkie: (hastily) What? Who? What? (hurrying off; Gummy on tail) Who said something about a baby?

Rarity: (puzzled) You did, Miss Pie, just now. (Pinkie stops.) What were you talking about?

(The pink face locks up, its medium blue eyes darting madly about, and a second later she plucks the pacifier from Gummy’s mouth and sets to work sucking it herself. She points at it, shrugs innocently, and trots determinedly off toward Twilight Sparkle’s castle. One very confused white unicorn stares after her for a second before starting along the path.)

(Dissolve to the throne room. The other five mares and Spike are all in their seats, and Rarity walks in to take hers, the camera shifting to a close-up of her and a rather jittery Pinkie who has ditched both Gummy and the pacifier. The central table is bare of its magical map of Equestria.)

Twilight: (from o.s.) Great! Everypony’s here.

 (Cut to her and Spike. He unrolls a scroll, which she takes in her magic.)

Twilight: Now I don’t have to wait any longer to tell you all the wonderful news! (Back to Pinkie/Rarity; she continues o.s.) Somepony special is coming to visit Ponyville— (Pinkie grins and nods; cut to Twilight and Spike again.) —and I need your help getting everything ready.

(Cheers and giggles all around the table.)

Twilight: It’s… (Pinkie stands up in her seat.)

Twilight, Pinkie: …Shining Armor and Princess Cadence!

(The resident Princess shoots an odd look across the table at the pink goofball, and Applejack is a bit flummoxed to boot. Pinkie, now propping herself on the edge with her forelegs, responds with a big silly grin over a silence that seems to stretch on and on. Close-up of Twilight.)

Twilight: (a bit shaken) Yes! And they’re coming…

Twilight, Pinkie: (Pinkie o.s.) …tomorrow!

(The look gets even stranger, and the grin gets a little wider as the eyes above it flick desperately toward Rarity. Now it is the unicorn’s turn to be perplexed. Back to Twilight.)

Twilight: Yes, on the—

Pinkie: (from o.s., rapid fire) —Friendship Express rather than the Crystal Empire train— (Cut to her.) —so as not to cause too much of a scene when they skip town to come visit? (Big squeaky grin.)

Twilight: (taken aback) Yes! (Pinkie leans across the table into her face.)

Pinkie: Aaaaaand…?

Twilight: (shrugging) And that’s it.

Pinkie: (deflated) Oh.

Rainbow Dash: (from o.s.) Uh… (Pan slightly to frame her, standing up in her seat.) …how did you know all that?

(Now the one with the inside info tacks on a very shaky grin, laughing weakly through locked teeth before speaking up.)

Pinkie: Uh…Pinkie Sense?

(Her body backs up toward her seat, but her head remains in place so that her neck stretches out like an equine rubber band. It eventually snaps back across the table; a long silence follows, broken by Rainbow addressing Twilight as she sits down again.)

Rainbow: So, you said you needed our help with something?

Twilight: (spreading wings) Follow me.

(She lifts off, the blue daredevil following. Wipe to a bedroom set up with a four-poster bed, a loaded bookcase, and a toy train with tracks on the rug. The camera is positioned near the door, but zooms out to frame the entire room as Twilight magically opens the door and the six mares enter. Model castle on top of the bookcase, posters on the walls, open toybox, a bin of what look like crystal building blocks, inflated rubber ball on floor, stuffed doll and ant farm on a shelf. Rainbow heads straight for one poster, a close-up of which depicts a fierce-looking red-orange unicorn stallion with a short white mane, matching eyebrows over deep magenta eyes, and a khaki shirt under a moonlit sky.)

Rainbow: Sweet posters! Is that Smash Fortune? (Fluttershy crosses to the ant farm.)

Twilight: It sure is. When Shining Armor said he wanted to come to the castle and visit, I started collecting things he liked when he was a colt as a surprise. (Pinkie pops her head out of the toybox, wearing a guard’s helmet.)

Pinkie: Surprise?!?

(Upon realizing that Rainbow is giving her a hovering, hairy eyeball at close range, she does her best to grin and giggle nonchalantly, then turns the helmet around so that its back completely hides her face.)

Twilight: I’ve been so excited that it’s been hard to keep it to myself! (Cut to Pinkie and Rainbow.)

Pinkie: (voice reverberating slightly) I have no idea what that’s like. (Rainbow lands to keep looking at her funny.)

Fluttershy: (from o.s.) Awwww… (Cut to her, watching the ants.) …look at the cute little ant farm.

(The camera shifts to within the glass enclosure. One inhabitant stops in its tracks upon spotting the blue-green eyes, drops the leaf it is carrying, and peels out with a tiny little scream. Cut to Spike, who fishes up a bagged comic book.)

Spike: And check out all these old comic books!

Twilight: Be careful! They’re mint-in-bag!

(The baby dragon holds the issue horizontally and blows across it to remove any dust. What he gets for his trouble, though, is a lick of fire that reduces the whole thing—bag and all—to a small heap of ash in his hands. The reptilian green eyes pop wide at the sight; after glancing furtively around to confirm that none of the others have noticed, he whistles casually, pulls out an empty bag, and dumps the residue into it. This is set back down on the stack before he walks away, still whistling and with hands behind back.)

(Now Pinkie roots around in the toybox and comes up with a small stuffed figure of an unshaven, goggles-wearing stallion. She has shed her own headwear now.)

Pinkie: What’s this? (Twilight crosses to her, smiling.)

Twilight: This is Brutus Force. Shining Armor used to carry him around like his baby!

(Pinkie instantly develops a bad case of klutzy hooves and bobbles the plaything around, almost dropping it before making the catch and stashing it away.)

Pinkie: (forcing giggles) Yeah! Really cute!

Rarity: It is a bit juvenile for castle décor, but it is very sweet of you.

Fluttershy: I’m sure Shining Armor will love it.

Twilight: Me too. But there’s a few more things I’d like to add before he gets here, and I could really use a hoof collecting them.

Applejack: (winking) Whatever you need, sugar cube, we’ll help you get it. (Noises of agreement from the others.)

Twilight: Thanks, everypony! I just can’t wait ’til they walk in and see everything!

Rainbow: Totally understandable. Watching somepony else be surprised with something is almost better than being the one who’s getting the surprise.

Pinkie: But… (Cringing little moan; her panic grows.) …what if the surprise is something so incredibly exciting that a pony can’t keep it in any longer, and she has to tell the pony who’s standing next to her what it is or she might explode?

(Accompanied by the following actions. Forelegs crawl out of the toybox, her body briefly elongating until her hindquarters catch up; flop onto her back and push across the floor with her hind legs; grab Fluttershy around the neck and hoist herself up, causing the yellow pegasus’ cheeks to bulge from her air being cut off. The sequence ends with Pinkie releasing her grip and lowering herself back down.)

Fluttershy: I would say…no.

Rarity: (ominously, crossing slowly to face down Pinkie) The pony who ruins a surprise for somepony else has to live with that guilt…forever!

(After a tense face-off, the pink pony stands up with an unsteady giggle and clamps her mouth shut for a split-second.)

Pinkie: Gotta bounce!

(Which she proceeds to do by caroming all over the room like a pinball before hurtling o.s. A loud, camera-shaking crash immediately comes from that direction, accompanied by a scatter of debris fragments. Cut to just beyond that wall—and the jagged hole she has just smashed through it—as the rest of the group gathers at it. Zoom out slowly.)

Rainbow: So I know the bar is set pretty high, but…does anypony else think Pinkie Pie was acting weirder than usual?

(This gives the others pause. Cut to the exterior of Sugarcube Corner, where all is peaceful until the pink/magenta blur that is Pinkie hurtles into view and around toward the back of the building. Inside, she slams the back door shut and puts her back to it, heaving for breath.)

Pinkie: Phew! (She slides down to the floor.) That was close! Too close. I almost spilled the beans—beans that would be really hard to clean up! (pacing) I obviously can’t be around my friends right now—or anypony for that matter! Hmmm… (An idea hits, bringing a smile.) That’s it! If Shining Armor and Cadence are coming tomorrow— (crossing to stairs) —then all I have to do is lock myself in my room away from everypony until they arrive. (climbing) Then I won’t ruin anything.

(The combined sounds of a door opening and the next voice freeze her in her tracks.)

Mr. Cake: (from o.s.) Oh— (Zoom out to frame him approaching the stairs.) —good, you’re back! Mrs. Cake needs my help, but these deliveries can’t wait. I can’t thank you enough for agreeing to be my backup delivery pony, Pinkie.

Pinkie: (puzzled) I…did?

(The scene undergoes a wavering dissolve to a close-up of a wagon parked outside Sugarcube Corner. Its side awning is raised, exposing shelves within, and Mr. Cake tucks a box in among the others that have already been loaded up.)

Mr. Cake: Maybe I should hire somepony to be my backup delivery pony.

Pinkie: (from o.s.) I’ll do it!

(He turns to look behind himself, the camera panning to the front steps. Here she sits, stirring a bowl of batter.)

Mr. Cake: Really?

Pinkie: Sure! There’s no possible way that I could ever have anything that might interfere with doing that task, like a gigantic, emotionally exhausting surprise that would make it super-hard to be around other ponies.

Mr. Cake: Great! Uh…you’re sure you won’t change your mind? (She stops stirring.)

Pinkie: No way! (miming gestures for a Pinkie Promise) Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.

(Only now does Gummy make the scene, by putting his head up from the bowl. Another wavering dissolve shifts the action back to her in the present.)

Pinkie: Oh, yeah. I Pinkie-Promised I’d do it, and I never break a Pinkie Promise. (fiercely) Never! (Zoom out to frame Mr. Cake.)

Mr. Cake: Well, thanks again! (walking into supply room) You’re a real Cake-saver.

(Once he is completely out of sight, she sinks behind the stairs’ banister with a moan as if all the air had been let out of her. Now slumped down so far that most of her front half is touching the steps, she aims two shell-shocked eyes off to one side; just as quickly, she brightens up with a little grunt.)

Pinkie: Maybe it’ll be a quiet day and I can just avoid everypony.

(Cut to just outside the closed front door, whose top half swings open to expose her broadly grinning face. Levity turns to shock as abruptly as if a switch had been thrown in her brain, and a slow zoom out gives the reason for the quick change. The street in front of Sugarcube Corner is crowded with ponies walking, pulling carts, conversing, whiling away time—the very last thing she wants to see at the moment. Snap to black.)

Act Two

(Opening shot: fade in to a busy stretch of road. From behind a bush, Pinkie puts her head out, having donned a set of Groucho Marx joke glasses whose big nose has been replaced by a red rubber ball. She ducks away for a moment and then zips out, hauling the Cakes’ delivery wagon; its side awning has been lowered, and a large cupcake bobs on a spring attached up top. She and it disappear completely behind a convenient tree, then emerge from its other side in reverse gear to roll behind a building. The disguised mare risks another peek, waiting for a passing pegasus to clear the area, and dives into the open to pull the wagon normally around a corner at a gallop. Within a few steps, she slows down to a calmer walking pace, now framed in close-up.)

Apple Bloom: (pulling up into view alongside) Hiya, Pinkie Pie!

(Pinkie grimaces behind her joke glasses; zoom out to show Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle walking on her other side.)

Sweetie: Heard any good gossip today?

Scootaloo: Yeah, we’re bored. (Close-up.) Please say you have some interesting news.

(Pan to the pink face, which grins fearfully as its eyes dart from one to another.)

Pinkie: (loudly) Nope!

(Off she goes at a gallop, leaving three rather bewildered fillies in her wake. She pulls ahead of the camera following her, but an o.s. impact shakes it to a sudden stop in time with her grunt. Cut to Pinkie, rubbing her head woozily and having lost her disguise; it is now wedged onto Fluttershy’s tail, directly in front of her—she has hit the pegasus from behind. Once she regains her senses, the camera zooms out quickly to frame both of them.)

Pinkie: (forcing a smile) Fluttershy! What a surprise! (She clamps her mouth shut for half a beat, then goes on.) I mean, not a surprise! (Big squeaky grin.)

Fluttershy: You were in such a rush earlier. Twilight wanted me to ask you if you would bring some snacks to the castle for Shining Armor and Cadence’s visit.

Pinkie: (trotting off) Definitely! Got it! Pinkie Promise! Yeah, uh-huh.

Fluttershy: You know, maybe some baby carrots?

(Wagon and puller backpedal at blinding speed and stop with a screech of wheels against cobblestone, and Pinkie somehow gets out a pained giggle.)

Pinkie: What did you say?

Fluttershy: Baby carrots. They’re Shining Armor’s favorite.

Pinkie: Mine too! (rapid fire, fidgeting) Baby carrots are kinda like big carrots, but smaller, kinda like how foals are tiny versions of their parents, but smaller and cuter and—

(She finally cuts off the torrent of words by biting down on her lips and letting her cheeks swell out for a second.)

Pinkie: (pointing into sky) Albino squirrel! (Close-up of Fluttershy.)

Fluttershy: (looking around) Where? Is it Albert?

 (The sound of Pinkie’s super-high-speed escape is heard under her words, after which she looks behind herself and her face falls. A longer shot reveals a new arrival coming in from that direction: an elderly stallion, wearing a hat, whose spectacles, nose, and bushy eyebrows/mustache are a very close match for the comedy getup still lodged in Fluttershy’s tail. His cutie mark duplicates these features, and his coat/mane/tail colors are a match for hers; he also wears a long pink beard. He tips his hat to her, exposing the mane as nothing more than a few wisps around the edges of a bald scalp. Pan/zoom out to show Pinkie hiding behind the corner of a building to watch, now unhitched and standing alongside the rear end of the wagon.)

Pinkie: (pulling out/donning a crash helmet) It’s time to kick this operation into hyper-hoof and avoid all ponies by any means necessary!

(She gallops ahead on the end of this, the wagon following—she has harnessed herself up in the split second she is out of sight—and is soon charging along an alley to veer into the next street over. Cut to a house’s closed front door; she reaches into view from above and knocks, and the camera zooms out as the door opens. Berry Punch finds a cake box sitting on her front stoop, doubtless having already been set there by Pinkie; after a quick look to either side, she nips its strings in her teeth and carries it inside, the door closing behind her. Zoom out quickly to frame the whole house, on whose roof the wagon is parked so that Pinkie can dangle over the edge from its harness struts.)

(Cut to Applejack, walking away from the town hall with baskets of apples slung over her back; Pinkie gallops past, nearly blowing the hat off the blond head. The next shot is of Rarity, reading glasses on and working the sewing machine in her workroom/living quarters on the top floor of the Carousel Boutique. An arrow trailing a cable sails through a window behind her; its o.s. impact against the far wall startles her out of her work, and the cable goes taut. She looks toward the window just in time to see a cake box slide into the room, its strings hooked around the cable, and stop at a knot tied in this makeshift zip line. Cut to Pinkie sitting on a high tree limb that overlooks the window; the other end of the cable is tied off here, and she has used a crossbow to finish the job. She drops off her perch and o.s.)

(Cut back to the road bend on which Applejack had been traveling. Pinkie gallops past, towing her wagon along and taking no notice of Rainbow’s wave as she hovers above the path. The pegasus’ face shifts from happiness to puzzlement to dejection. At the shore of a pond, a birthday party is in full swing, with colts and fillies having a good time on land and in water. Blossomforth and Thunderlane talk and laugh under a tree, and a nurse from the Ponyville hospital is on lifeguard duty. A toy boat drifts across the pond, delivering an entire cake with lit candles to one surprised and happy colt. Pinkie’s wagon is parked on the opposite shore, and a cluster of bubbles breaks the surface before she puts her head up, a diving mask over her eyes and the end of a snorkel tube clamped in her mouth. She has removed her crash helmet. With this latest delivery complete, she submerges again, leaving only the tube’s upper end to mark her return to the shore.)

(Cut to Twilight, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rainbow sitting at picnic tables in a meadow outside Ponyville proper as Pinkie hauls her wagon madly past, her helmet back in place. The Princess waves after her, but gets just as much acknowledgment as Rainbow did, and confusion writes itself across all four faces. From here, wipe to Pinkie slowly pulling the vehicle to a stop in an alley, her helmet gone.)

Pinkie: It didn’t feel good, ignoring my friends like that.

(She glances through the nearest window; cut to just over her shoulder. A unicorn mare sits on her haunches at a small table, levitating a cup to her lips for a drink. Zoom in slowly on her during the next line, putting Pinkie o.s.)

Pinkie: Maybe I can tell just one little pony the surprise?

(The room dims as an image of a disapproving Rarity superimposes itself onto the glass.)

Rarity: (echoing, ominously) The pony who ruins a surprise for somepony else has to live with that guilt…forever!

(Dissolve to a close-up of a very uneasy pink pony, turning over these words spoken in the castle’s guest room during Act One.)

Pinkie: You’re right, spooky reflection of Rarity that I know is actually my own imagination. I can’t tell anypony at all!

(Her front half thumps down to the roadbed as she lets go with a sigh.)

Pinkie: Then they would tell Twilight, and she wouldn’t be surprised, and it would be all my fault.

(Face meets ground with a piteous squish. Dissolve to the exterior of Sugarcube Corner, the camera positioned to frame the side on which Pinkie is pulling the wagon in. It then cuts to an extreme close-up of the surface of her bed as she flops onto it with a relieved sigh, back first.)

Pinkie: Finally, I’m all alone-y on my own-y.

(She turns onto her side and curls up for a nap, but the rustling of paper puts a swift end to that plan as one edge waves back and forth into view. A pan to the pillows discloses the presence of Gummy, who has a scroll in his toothless jaws and is chewing on it to stain the parchment with drool. She sits up to her haunches with a smile.)

Pinkie: Wow, great idea! (An apple is quickly retrieved from the fluffy mane.) I’m starving too.

(One jaw-busting chomp later, the fruit is completely gone except for a few spots of pulp and juice on cheeks and hooves.)

Pinkie: (mouth full) This apple is delicious! (Swallow.) Mm…what are you having, Gummy?

(Cut to him; he just keeps “munching” at the scroll, one end of which unrolls a bit to show the writing crowded across its surface.)

Pinkie: (from o.s.) Oh, no! (Back to her, now clean and holding it up.) It’s the list that Twilight helped me make yesterday so I wouldn’t forget all of my Pinkie Promises today! (Shove it into face.) And I have… (Take it away again.) …three more things to do! (Crumple it with a moan; stand up.) Four if you count bringing those snacks to Twilight’s castle!

(Longer shot of the bed; Gummy has cleared out.)

Pinkie: I’ve been getting liberal with those Pinkie Promises lately.

(Cut to a long shot of the Ponyville schoolhouse and zoom in on the lawn to one side of the front walk. She has set up shop here to make balloon animals; several foals already have these, and others are waiting their turn in line. Pennants and balloons decorate the area, and she has made and donned a balloon hat. In close-up, hooves whirl inflated latex back and forth and fashion it into a giraffe, which the filly at the head of the line eagerly carries away. Up next is Sweetie.)

Sweetie: Ooooh! I want a flamingo! (She gets one and leaves; here comes Bloom.)

Bloom: I want a goldfish! (Ditto; now Scootaloo steps up.)

Scootaloo: Surprise me!

(As the party mistress lets her hooves do their thing, a mare walks along the road, pushing a crying infant in a stroller. They draw Pinkie’s attention away from her work, but the hooves continue almost of their own accord; cut to a close-up as she finishes.)

Scootaloo: (from o.s., puzzled) Is that a baby bottle?

(A quick zoom out answers that question in the affirmative. Pinkie snaps back to herself, looks at it, and screams; it nearly floats away on her, but she leaps up to pull it back to the ground, her hat falling off. Scootaloo has sat down on her haunches.)

Pinkie: No! It’s a…a…puppy! (Laugh.) Woof-woof! (Again; Scootaloo stands up.)

Scootaloo: Are you sure? (Close-up.) Because it looks like a—

(The young pegasus gets the business end shoved into her mouth to shut her up.)

Pinkie: (from o.s.) Next! (Scootaloo pulls it loose and clomps off, now Featherweight comes up.)

Featherweight: Uh, a baby pony, please…uh, unless, of course, that would be a royal pain.

(In less than no time flat, she has zipped over to regard him in the manner of a detective ready to give a suspect the third degree.)

Pinkie: Interesting choice of words, Featherweight.

Featherweight: Was it?

Pinkie: (normal tone) I don’t know. Was it?

(The blue eyes narrow, boring into his brown ones for long seconds.)

Featherweight: Eh, maybe you’d better just make me a giraffe.

(Wipe to an extreme close-up of the pink face, eyes once again narrowed; this time, though, it is determination that has taken hold as she lifts a file folder in one hoof. A flick reveals it to be a stack of four, fanning out like playing cards, and she leaps backward and lets them fly. Cut to a close-up of an open file cabinet drawer inside the town hall; one folder drops squarely into a gap, causing it to close on its own, and a tilt down reveals a semicircle of cabinets lined up along the wall. Three other drawers stand open and each catch a file, the first two sliding shut; Pinkie walks tranquilly over to close the last one herself. Mayor Mare enters this file room.)

Mayor Mare: My! Your friends weren’t kidding when they said you had a great filing system, Pinkie! You are Ponyville’s best-kept secret!

(The confident little grin on Pinkie’s face vacates the premises in a hurry.)

Pinkie: (hastily) No, I’m not!

(Raising a foreleg up next to her face to hide it from Mayor Mare, she heads across the room. The elected official glances after her, then toward the cabinets, and slips over to Pinkie as the latter stacks some papers.)

Mayor Mare: (whispering) Speaking of secrets, have you ever known somepony else’s secret?

(The end of this line is delivered with a knowing half-smile, but the overall effect is to scare Pinkie into throwing the documents everywhere.)

Pinkie: Noooooo.

(Turn away. Clamp mouth shut and start sweating. Hold her breath as the gray-haired mare sidles up again.)

Mayor Mare: A surprise that was so big and exciting that it was all you could think about? (Pinkie’s face has now gone blue, but reverts once she resumes breathing.)

Pinkie: Nope!

(She bugs out, leaving a cloud of dust and a very confounded Mayor Mare to let out a groan.)

Mayor Mare: Me neither.

(Cut to a close-up of a string of pennants hanging above a street. A cylindrical , smiling figure made from pink fabric and sporting a unicorn’s horn inflates into view, flopping this way and that and waving elongated forelegs. A stallion’s chuckle makes itself heard; cut to a longer shot of the area. The speaker is a bulky khaki pegasus with heavy five o’clock shadow, dressed in a blue bow tie and white apron, standing in front of a shop whose hanging sign is a nightstand—a furniture store. Pinkie has set up the jolly pink display near a spread of items for sale, including a coffee table, a chest of drawers, and a couple of cribs.)

Shopkeeper: (Maine accent) That’s just what I wanted. Thanks, Pinkie!

Pinkie: You’re welcome.

Shopkeeper: Oh, by the way, could you help spread the word about the big crib sale I’m havin’?

(On the second half of this line, he points to a flyer hanging in the window and the camera cuts to a close-up of it: a crib with stars and a crown displayed above. Pinkie then turns to run a worried eye over it as the camera zooms out slowly.)

Pinkie: (reading) “Treat your foal like…” (Extreme close-up of her face.) “…royalty”?

(She backpedals wildly, toppling onto her back as the shopkeeper’s chuckle wafts over to her. Cut to him, the camera now close enough to pick out the table he has for a cutie mark.)

Shopkeeper: Pretty good slogan, huh? I came up with it all by myself.

(But the thought of it leads Pinkie to rise to her hind legs, screaming shrilly and letting the rest of her body wave bonelessly just like the inflatable dummy next to her for a long moment. Those two legs kick into gear and carry her away at ludicrous speed.)

Shopkeeper: (crushed) Oh. I thought it was clever.

(A squeal of escaping air marks the thing’s deflating collapse into a puddle of pink cloth. Dissolve to the tree-stump chandelier hanging in Twilight’s throne room; Rainbow flies past, carrying a bell with sprays of flowers attached, and the camera tilts down to an overhead shot of the thrones and the table. Applejack sweeps the floor, while Fluttershy—having removed the joke glasses from her tail—polishes the table and Rarity levitates a bowl of flowers down to rest in its center, having shed her reading glasses. She then trots across the room with a stack of plates in her field, Spike totes some folded tablecloths, and Twilight stands by the door with a clipboard in her magical grip to supervise the proceedings. Pinkie makes her way to the open doors, one tray of snacks balanced on a front hoof and a second on her head; close-up of her.)

Twilight: (from o.s.) Those look yummy, Pinkie! (Her magic takes hold…) Let me help you.

(…and floats them away, leaving the pink mare to step listlessly into the room. Twilight settles the goodies onto the table, having disposed of her clipboard.)

Twilight: But we better cover them up so they don’t get spoiled. (A domed cover is brought down onto each tray.)

Pinkie: Why would they get spoiled? (Applejack crosses to her.) We’re all gonna eat them super-soon.

Applejack: Oh. Didn’t anypony tell you? Shinin’ Armor and Cadence are held up. They may not arrive ’til Saturday.

(Her last sentence sends Pinkie into a quivery frown, then a popeyed, lopsided grimace that might be a hair’s breadth away from a full-blown conniption. Finally she snaps.)

Pinkie: (leaping straight up o.s.) WHAAAAAAAT?!?!?

(The camera tilts up to the sound of her labored, heaving breaths and stops on her—perched on one of the roots that extend down from the mighty stump.)

Pinkie: (between breaths) You mean…I have…to wait…another whole day? I don’t know if I can! (Her perspective of the others, all relieved of their tools and freight.)

Twilight: Pinkie Pie, do you have something you need to say? You seem like you’ve been keeping something in.

(Back to the unstrung mare, who sucks in a long gasp while desperately shaking her head—warring impulses to tell it all versus keeping it under wraps. She snaps out of the fit by clapping both front hooves over her mouth.)

Fluttershy: (flying up to her) We’re here to listen. (Emphatic head shake.)

Applejack: Well, go on, then, sugarcube.

Rarity: We’re not going to judge you, darling.

Spike: You’ll feel so much better once you get it off your chest.

(Up top, Pinkie has procured a balloon and is inflating it one ragged breath at a time. Rainbow hovers right in front of her with an encouraging smile.)

Rainbow: Come on. (The balloon bursts; she moves to touch Pinkie’s shoulders.) Whatever it is, you can tell us.

(Extreme close-up of the dilated, shining pupils in the wide blue eyes, which reflect her smiling countenance.)

Rainbow: We’re best friends.

(The view now shifts to the actual face, the background behind it darkening and fading away as the head becomes a balloon with all her features. That smile turns into a frown, and the next four lines echo weirdly across the distance.)

Balloon Rainbow: Friends…friends…friends! (Back to Pinkie on this last; now a balloon Twilight-head floats up.)

Balloon Twilight: Tell… (Balloon Rainbow joins her.)

Balloon Twilight, Balloon Rainbow: …tell…tell!

(Now inflated-latex versions of all five friends’ heads circle around the beleaguered mare as she covers her ears.)

Balloons: Friends…friends…friends! (A balloon Spike drifts up past the camera.) Tell…tell…tell!

(Zoom in quickly to an extreme close-up of Pinkie’s agonized, contorted visage, then back out as normal lighting restores itself.)

Pinkie: Okay, okay, you win! (Deep, lung-bursting gasp.) Shining Armor and Cadence are gonna have a— (Sound of door opening.)

Shining Armor: (from o.s.) —an awesome weekend with the best little sister in all of Equestria!

(Every head except the pink one swings toward that voice and breaks out into a smile or grin. The camera swivels quickly away from the group and stops at the throne room doors, where Princess Cadence and Shining now stand amid a pile of luggage. He has a foreleg across her shoulders, and the camera zooms in slowly as she giggles.)

Cadence: Hi, everypony.

(Only now does Pinkie allow herself to react, voicing a huge sigh of relief and tumbling backwards off the tree root where she has been sitting. Fluttershy and Rainbow stare concernedly down after her before the view snaps to black.)

Act Three

(Opening shot: fade in to the nine, now all gathered near the entrance.)

Twilight: (jumping toward the couple) Shining Armor! Cadence! You’re early! I thought something had come up and you weren’t gonna make it until Saturday.

Cadence: So did we. Turned out we weren’t needed in Maretonia until next week. (Shining nods.) And the summit we were supposed to attend today— (Cut to a slow pan across the six mares; she continues o.s.) —had to be rescheduled, so we got here even sooner than planned. (Shining darts over to Twilight.)

Shining: Surprise!

(He loops a foreleg warmly around the back of her head. None of this has done a lick to assuage Pinkie’s raging case of nerves, judging from the front hoof that she has not managed to stop chewing this whole time. Zoom out from her to frame Cadence gathering with Applejack/Fluttershy/Rainbow/Rarity on the start of the next line.)

Cadence: It’s wonderful to see you all again. (Happy responses from the bunch; cut to Twilight and Shining at the doors.)

Twilight: I’m so glad you’re here! (to him) I have a big surprise for you. (She trots away.)

Shining: (smirking) Oh, yeah?

(Pan quickly to the mare with the hot scoop, her panicked blue eyes zipping in every possible direction as the sweat pours down, then cut back to the other seven ponies. The mares walk/fly out front, talking and laughing; next comes a quietly smiling Shining, then a discomfited Pinkie, and finally Spike carrying all the gear. Pinkie catches up to Shining, avoiding eye contact.)

Shining: (hushed) Lucky we came when we did, huh? (Pinkie lowers her hoof.) I’m guessing you saw the scroll we sent to Mr. and Mrs. Cake. (She grins and blushes.) Hey, I’m impressed you’ve been able to keep our secret this long. (He stops as she leans eagerly up to his level.)

Pinkie: So you’re gonna tell Twilight now?

(Jamming a hoof over her mouth, he takes a quick look ahead and sees wife, sister, and friends, still having a grand time as they proceed along a corridor. He waits to speak until Spike has trudged by with the luggage.)

Shining: (hushed, lowering hoof from her mouth) You’re gonna have to wait just a little bit longer. We have something special planned. It’ll be worth it. I promise. (He walks off.)

Pinkie: (sourly) It had better be.

(Followed up by a heavy-caliber scowl of distrust. Dissolve to a close-up of her walking through Ponyville, sweating and with cheeks bulging out to a degree that might make Dizzy Gillespie take notice.)

Applejack: (from o.s.) So… (Cut to frame all six mares.) …do you think Shinin’ Armor liked his surprise?

Twilight: Didn’t you see him? He couldn’t stop raving about it!

(A new scene slides into view from above, pushing her image off the bottom of the screen. This view shows the two siblings in the bedroom set up for him; he gawks at the arrangement, then launches himself clear of the ground with a neigh of pure ecstasy. Almost instantly, he is across the room and pawing at the ant farm; nuzzling his old Brutus Force doll; whinnying in terror when he finds the remains of the comic book Spike torched; laughing and standing on his hind legs so he can hoist Twilight and whirl her around in the center of the room. Clearly her plan to stock it with treasured items from days gone by was an unqualified success.)

(This view is pushed back up off the screen, replaced by a close-up of a slightly weary Rainbow.)

Rainbow: (sighing softly) Where did Shining Armor and Cadence say they’d meet us? (Stomach growl.) I’m starving! (Overhead shot: they start onto a bridge over the Ponyville stream, going toward the town square.)

Twilight: In the town square. I wish they’d waited to walk over with us— (Close-up.) —but they said they had something to take care of first. (Cut to Pinkie.)

Pinkie: (very snarky, under her breath) They’re gonna have a lot more to take care of soon.

Twilight: (from o.s.) What? (Stop short; all six again.)

Pinkie: (normal volume, galloping ahead) Nothing!

(The others just trade a funny look and get moving again. Cut to a close-up of the erratic pink one, now leaning against the edge of the town square fountain as casually as she can manage, and zoom out as they approach her. The rearing-pony statue at its center has an actual parchment scroll tucked into its mouth, but there is no sign of either Shining or Cadence.)

Twilight: That’s odd. Usually they’re quite punctual. (Rainbow groans loudly; cut to her.)

Rainbow: (flying toward statue’s head) I need a hay burger in my belly right now!

(She emphasizes the last two works by thumping a hoof against the stonework on each one, causing the scroll to shift a bit.)

Twilight: (from o.s.) What’s this?

(Her magic grips the document; cut to her, floating it down and opening it for perusal that leads to a happy gasp.)

Rarity: What does it say? (Twilight whips over to her.)

Twilight: A scavenger hunt! (pacing) Shining Armor used to set these up for me when I was a filly. (Pinkie darts over, face contorting comically; she pays no mind as stars shine in her eyes.) At the end, there was always a big prize, like a new book, or several new books, or—

Pinkie: We get the picture! You like books!

(A quick turn, and she has shoved her face into the scroll.)

Applejack: So what’s the first clue?

Rainbow: (petulantly) I hope it’s something about eating lunch.

Pinkie: (pacing, reading very quickly)         

“You’ve got a scroll, you’re on a roll.

                         Why don’t you take a peek where young ones spend their week?”

(The scroll falls off her face and is caught.)

                        “A piece of paper will continue this caper.”

(After a moment’s cogitation in close-up, Twilight’s face comes alight.)

Twilight: I’ve got it! (Zoom out to frame the others.) “Where the young ones spend their week.”

Applejack: I’m not quite followin’.

(Cut to the ringing bell atop the schoolhouse and zoom out to show them coming up the walk.)

Twilight: It’s the Ponyville schoolhouse! (Pinkie zips up ahead of them, half-crazed and no longer holding the scroll.)

Pinkie: Good enough for me! (Dart even farther along.) Now where’s the next clue?

(Panting like a dog, she jams her nose down onto the ground and begins sniffing about as if suddenly possessed by the spirit of a bloodhound. Whatever scent she picks up leads her into a clump of bushes planted along the walk; she comes out with a leaf on her nose, which she quickly sneezes away, and sets to scratching a spot behind her neck as if trying to dislodge a stubborn flea. Cut to a most puzzled Twilight and Fluttershy.)

Featherweight: (from o.s.) Extra! Extra!

(Purple and blue-green eyes widen at his voice. Cut to behind the five onlookers; he walks past back here, dressed in newsboy cap/shirt/vest/pants and carrying a sheaf of newspapers.)

Featherweight: Get your Ponyville news! (All turn toward him.) Read it in the paper! (Back to Twilight; he continues o.s., fading out.) Extra! Extra! Get your Ponyville news!

Twilight: (over end of previous) “A piece of paper will continue this caper.” (Gasp; zoom out to frame Applejack and Fluttershy.) It’s in the Foal Free Press!

(She gallops off along the walk as she finishes, and in a trice she has acquired a copy from the spindly pegasus. Waving goodbye as he resumes his route, she sits down on her haunches and opens the pages. Cut to an extreme close-up of the issue, which is lowered to show all but Pinkie poring over the stories.)

Rarity: (pointing) Ooh, look at that dress Mayor Mare is wearing in the social report! Why, it’s stunning!

(Eyes roll wearily at her focus on things fashion-related at this particular moment.)

Applejack: Uh, didn’t you make that, Rarity?

Rarity: (airily, toying with mane) Yes. What is your point? (Pinkie shoves her head up among them, scattering bits of newsprint.)

Pinkie: FOCUS, EVERYPONY!!

(A longer shot reveals that she has punched the entire front half of her body through the paper, which is now jammed around her midsection.)

Twilight: (slightly snarky) You know, there’s really no time limit on these scavenger hunts, Pinkie.

Pinkie: Aha! (pointing at a page) There! (Twilight leans in for a look.)

Twilight: (reading)                “Though this hall is rather small,

                                In it you’ll find files of all kinds.

                                Take a look on the back

Of the birth certificate of Applejack.”

(The apple farmer finds herself in the hot seat.)

Applejack: I don’t like where this is goin’.

(Wipe to the upper reaches of the town hall and tilt down/zoom in to frame the front entrance, where Mayor Mare paces nervously. The rattle of galloping hooves against hard-packed earth fades up, and the camera pans across the town square to frame Pinkie coming at high speed. Having shed the remains of the newspaper, she barrels in past the politico, while the rest of the gang takes its sweet time to traverse the square. Mayor Mare jitters in place, grinning madly and looking fit to burst; once they are all inside, she finally gives voice to this manic energy.)

Mayor Mare: Baby! A royal ba—

(She gets a pink hoof jammed up to her lips, and Pinkie clears her throat pointedly and gives her best “can it” glare and scowl.)

Twilight: (from inside) Does anypony know where the birth certificates are kept?

Pinkie: (smiling, darting in) Ooh! I do, I do!

(Cut to within the main meeting hall; she zips in among her five friends, all of whom are staring uncomprehendingly around the place.)

Pinkie: (gesturing around, rapid fire; zoom in slowly) Go down that hall, then you take a left, then a right, then another right, then a slight left, and it’s the third door from the right. (She starts off toward a curtained doorway.)

Fluttershy: Wow, Pinkie. I never knew you knew so much about Town Hall. (Stop dead.)

Pinkie: (loudly, forced) There’s a lot of things I know, that you don’t know I know!

(Letting her cheeks bulge rather than say any more, she races off through the curtains. Cut to an extreme close-up of an open file cabinet drawer; she leans into view, eyeing and nosing her way through the contents until one makes her stop. This folder is swiftly extracted, opened, and crushed against her face so that she can catch one sheet in her teeth. Cut to her perspective of Twilight, Applejack, and Fluttershy in the file room where she was working in Act Two; she holds the page up for the winged unicorn to get a telekinetic grip. A note is taped to the flip side, and a close-up of the front establishes it as Applejack’s birth certificate—apples in the bottom corners, a photograph of herself as a newborn in top right.)

Fluttershy: (from o.s, over Twilight’s giggles) Oh, you’re so cute.

(She adds her own gentle laugh before the camera cuts back to Pinkie’s perspective. The slightly mortified workhorse smiles and blushes under a dribble of sweat, then flips the certificate.)

Twilight: (reading note on back)                “This next place is where

You can buy a table or chair.”

(Long shot of all six, Pinkie bouncing in place.)

(puzzled)                                        “Or some comfy beds to rest little heads”?

(The over-excited mare is out the door in a blink. A long, pensive silence ensues, to be broken when she peeks back into the file room with a loud, disgusted groan.)

Pinkie: Really? None of you?

(She charges back in with a rising snarl. Cut to a street as she bulldozes her friends along in a multicolored tangle of hooves, wings, and horns.)

Pinkie: It’s obviously the furniture store!

(Cut a close-up of its hanging sign and zoom out. She hops madly in front of the door, the others having fetched up a couple of steps back.)

Pinkie: Go in, go in, go in!

Twilight: I-I don’t know. (Pinkie jumps up with a yell and lands on the front step.)

Pinkie: Fine!

(One pink hoof shoves the door open and she darts in, a camera-shaking commotion marking her merciless ransacking of the establishment. A plethora of alarmed animal noises come through loud and clear as well before the place goes quiet and a crib comes sailing out through the doorway. Pinkie, hunkered down between the rails, stands up to point emphatically at the note taped to one end.)

Rainbow: Wow. You’re scary good at this, Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie: (rapid fire, reading)                “It seems we’ve saved the best for last.

                                        We hope that you have had a blast.

                                        Now it’s time to take a break

                                        Where you can get a slice of cake.”

Others: Sugarcube Corner!

(Now Pinkie relaxes with a dismissive smile and wave of a hoof.)

Pinkie: Pfft. That was an easy one.

(Grin. Cut to an extreme close-up of a bell hung above the sweet shop’s front door, which swings open to ring it and mark an arrival. Streamers have been hung up here, and a zoom out shows more of them stretching across walls and over the balloons and trays of goodies that are on display. All but Pinkie are walking in.)

Shining: (from o.s.) Surprise! (Stop short; cut to him and Cadence. He crosses to them…) Twilie! (…and delivers a friendly noogie.) Did you like the scavenger hunt?

Twilight: It was perfect! Just like old times— (looking to other four) —except even better because this time I got to share it with my best friends!

(Grins and smiles from the friends in questions; now Pinkie shoves her way through from behind, sparking a couple of annoyed looks. As the big brother smiles to himself, the little sister steps close to peek at the patch of floor between his legs.)

Twilight: There’s just one thing missing, isn’t there?

Shining: What’s that?

Twilight: (playfully, poking at him) Mmm—the book prize at the end. (He pushes her gently back with a laugh.)

Shining: There’s still a prize— (backing off) —but it’s a little different this time.

Twilight: (puzzled) Oh. I don’t understand.

(Behind her, Pinkie puts hooves to cheeks to keep her gigantic grin from splitting her entire face in half and hunkers down with a giddy little giggle.)

Cadence: All the places we sent you today had something in common. (Twilight begins to pace, hoof to chin in thought.)

Twilight: First we went to the schoolhouse… (Pinkie jitters in place…) …and then we read the Foal Free Press… (…and hooks lower teeth onto upper lip…) …after that we found Applejack’s birth certificate… (…and plugs her mouth with both hooves, briefly popping up/down behind Twilight…) …and then the last clue was under a crib.

(…and comes up grinning with the very happy Cake twins gathered up in her forelegs. Twilight paces another step as the grin fades.)

Twilight: Hmmm…school… (Pinkie drops out of sight.) …foal…

(Cut to the secret-keeper and zoom in slowly. She has put the babies down and is on the ragged edge of burning out every overtaxed synapse under the magenta mane.)

Twilight: (from o.s.) …birth certificate…and crib.

(The blue eyes become mad spirals, now framed in an extreme close-up, and Twilight draws in a stunned gasp as the pieces finally fall together in her mind.)

Twilight: Can it be? Are you two…

(Cut to stallion and wife, standing face to face with warm smiles directed her way. They each take a step back, the camera zooming out to frame the object behind them: a three-tiered cake marked with bows, rattles, and a baby bottle and topped with a carriage.)

Cadence, Shining: We’re having a baby!

(Pinkie’s face instantly shifts through a few more gears, the eyes returning to normal, and she bounds up off the floor with a full-throttle smile.)

Pinkie: A baby, Twilight! It’s a baby!

(The smile turns into a grin, and she starts to bounce off the walls just as she did when exiting Shining’s room in Act One. Twilight, on the other hand, has gone stock still with mouth hanging full open; one might be forgiven for thinking that a cockatrice had wandered into the place.)

Pinkie: WOO-HOO!! (Twilight eventually gets her brain working, putting hoof to forehead.)

Twilight: You mean… (Zoom in quickly to a close-up.) …I’m gonna be an aunt?

(Caught just a bit off guard, the royal couple work up humoring smiles as the camera zooms in on the cake topper. Twilight’s shocked expression shifts into a smile.)

Twilight: (spreading wings, hovering briefly) This is the best prize ever! (Cadence and Shining laugh; she rushes over to hug them both.) Ooh, I love you guys! And I can’t wait to meet your little foal.

Shining: Neither can we.  

(Laughs and cheerful conversation break out around the room, the camera zooming out to frame the entire gathering. Mr. and Mrs. Cake join in, each carrying one of their twins. The only one not in view is Pinkie; cut to her, bounding around near the door.)

Pinkie: I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it!

(Stopping in midair, she cranks off a squeaky grin and literally goes to pieces as if she were a giant doll being disassembled by invisible hands. The parts tumble to the floor.)

Pinkie: (weakly, raising a foreleg) Go, Pinkie.

(Extreme close-up of two hooves slapping together—Shining’s and Mr. Cake’s—and zoom out to frame the current and expecting fathers sharing a laugh. As the camera cuts to a pan across the room, Cadence floats up a plate with a slice of cake and glances behind herself. Pinkie is now at a corner table, fully put back together and making one last tweak to her mane; Cadence crosses to her with a giggle.)

Cadence: You did it, Pinkie Pie! You kept it a surprise! (They embrace.) Thank you.

(As they pull apart, the cake is brought in for a landing on the table.)

Cadence: Was it much trouble?

Pinkie: Piece of cake.

(After one last squeaky grin, the view “irises out” to black, centered on her, but pauses once only her face is left in view. She grimaces to the camera and shakes her head, lips silently forming the word “no,” and the iris closes to black out the screen.)


HEARTHBREAKERS

Written by Nick Confalone

Produced by Devon Cody

Story editing by Meghan McCarthy

Consulting direction by Jayson Thiessen

Supervising direction by Jim Miller

Directed by Denny Lu

Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)

Prologue

(Opening shot: fade in to a patch of daytime sky marked by feathery clouds. Snow is falling as the camera tilts down to a Ponyville street, with Twilight Sparkle’s castle standing in the distance. It and every house along this path have been liberally decorated in preparation for Hearth’s Warming Eve: bells, lights, wreaths, garlands, and so on. Ponies wave to each other on the street, and one is up on a ladder to run a string of hanging lights from one side to the other.)

(Dissolve to a room within the castle, also liberally bedecked. Twilight levitates a pastry onto a table already loaded with sweets, while Spike eyes a pile of presents near the opposite wall and gives one of them a shake to try and figure out what it is. A fireplace at the far end already has plenty of gifts on its mantel, and a rattling sound from within catches them off guard. Puffs of soot waft down from the chimney, promptly followed by chunks of ash and the badly stained head and forelegs of Pinkie Pie.)

Pinkie: Happy Hearth’s Warming Eve!

(She falls onto the hearth with a grin, exposing the saddlebags on her back and prompting giggles from Twilight and Spike. Applejack enters through the open doors at the opposite end, her own bags slung up.)

Applejack: Shucks, Twilight. Y’all done it up nice and cozy in here.

Twilight: (levitating dolls of herself and Spike) We’re about to hang our Hearth’s Warming dolls, if you want to join us.  (Pinkie backs up to Applejack…)

Applejack: Well, that’s mighty sweet of you— (…then wipes soot off her face and grins.) —but we’re just stoppin’ in to wish y’all a happy Hearth’s Warmin’ before we go. (Pinkie nods.)

Twilight: (crossing to fireplace, floating dolls onto mantel) I think it’s sweet that your families are spending the holiday together.

(The filthy pink pony zips over to her and throws a foreleg across the violet shoulders, gesturing with the other as she speaks.)

Pinkie: Picture the most fun-tacular thing you can think of. Now multiply that times infinity! (She jumps over to Applejack with a squeal.) Gonna be great!

(Now the farmer finds herself getting swept up and spun around before a train whistle sounds off somewhere beyond the castle walls. Applejack pulls loose at this point.)

Applejack: That’s us. (waving to Twilight, Spike) See you later! (Pinkie hops toward the door; she walks a bit more slowly.)

Spike: (to Twilight) Now can we open presents?

(The orange-tan hooves come to an instant dead stop, the face above them rearranging to show its bemusement.)

Applejack: (turning back to them) But tonight is Hearth’s Warmin’ Eve. Everypony knows you don’t open presents ’til tomorrow.

Twilight: When Spike and I spent our first Hearth’s Warming Eve together, he couldn’t wait all night to open his presents. (stroking his head spines) Ever since then, we’ve always opened them the night before.

Spike: It’s kinda like our tradition. (Pinkie peeks in.)

Applejack: That’s not how our family does it, and I reckon it can’t be how Pinkie’s does it. (to her) Is it?

Pinkie: No-sirree!

Twilight: To each their own, I suppose.

(The train whistle butts in on the discussion, bringing a yelp of panic from Pinkie.)

Pinkie: Gotta go! Bye!

(The sooty hooves latch onto Applejack and whisk her out of the place. As Twilight shakes her head with a humoring smile in close-up, Spike clambers onto her back. She throws him a puzzled look, the camera zooming out to show that he is trying to get at the gift-laden mantel that is just out of reach. A bit of magic floats one box into his grip, and her smile and nod are all the permission he needs to turn its wrapping paper into confetti. Once he gets through it, the gleeful grin on his face turns into a look of sheer disappointment; seeing the hopeful grin on Twilight’s face, though, he forces himself to smile.)

Spike: Just what I always wanted! (He holds up…) A book.

(Both grins widen a notch, and the view fades to black.)

OPENING THEME

Act One

(Opening shot: fade in to a stretch of railroad tracks running through a snowy expanse of flatland. A train chugs into view, the camera swiveling slightly to follow it, and the view cuts to within one heavily decorated car. Passengers in assorted winter gear are arrayed on the seats; among them are Applejack, a fully cleaned-up Pinkie, Big Macintosh, and Granny Smith, on two seats facing each other. Apple Bloom’s bow is visible between them at floor level, Granny is asleep and snoring loudly, and both Applejack and Pinkie have shed their bags. The conductor stallion pushes a snack cart down the aisle.)

Conductor: Chancellor Puddinghead puddings! How about a windigo frosted snow cone? (Bloom hurries after him.)

Applejack: (to the others) It’s so excitin’! Related or not, it’s gonna be a hoot havin’ our families together under one roof.

Pinkie: (picking up an apple and a pie, smashing them together) Apples and Pies, together again for the first time, maybe. (stroking chin/cheek, smearing on pie filling) Unless we’re related, which maybe we’re not—aw, I think I just confused myself.

(A reference to “Pinky Apple Pie,” in which no definitive proof of a relationship between the Pie and Apple families was ever found. Applejack is quick to put a foreleg across her shoulders and perk her back up.)

Applejack: Friends or family, this here’s about togetherness.

(Bloom pops up between the two mares, carrying a hoof-load of rock candy on sticks and with plenty of gooey residue all over her face. Her next two lines are delivered through a very full mouth.)

Bloom: Have you tried the Equestria-flag crepes? (Applejack shields herself from a spray of droplets.) The blue is blueberry!

(Cut to Pinkie; Bloom pops up next to her.)

Bloom: (aside, to her, very giddy) And don’t tell Granny I saw, but her trunk is full of presents!

Applejack: (from o.s.) Now hang on, sugar cube. (Bloom wipes her mouth; cut to Applejack.) You know Hearth’s Warmin’ isn’t just about candy and presents, right?

Bloom: (sullenly, mouth empty) Uh-oh. That’s your “boring sisterly lecture” voice.  (Macintosh hides a grin behind a hoof.)

Applejack: ’Fraid so. (Clear throat; hold up a pony-shaped cookie.) A long time ago…

(A wavering dissolve shifts the scene to a wintertime panorama of mountains and cloudy sky, built entirely from candy and frosted cakes. A gingerbread house and candy-cane flagpole stand in the fore, and a cookie in the shape of each named pony type is held up on the end of a peppermint stick in time with the next line. The following eight lines are delivered as a voice over.)

Applejack: …the earth ponies, pegasus ponies, and unicorn ponies weren’t friends.

Unicorn: (Pinkie’s voice, high-pitched, to pegasus) I don’t like you!

Pegasus: (Applejack’s voice, deep) I don’t like you either! (Snow begins to fall.)

Applejack: But then, the icy chill of the windigos almost iced up everythin’.

(On the end of this line, the view dissolves to show snowdrifts reaching to roof level; the three cookie ponies, having vanished from sight, pop up from behind them into clear air.)

Applejack: So the ponies decided to work together.

(Tilt up into the sky, where three blue windigo-shaped cookies hang from the clouds on strings. A stick of rock candy is swung across to sweep them off the screen.)

Applejack: And their friendship drove them nasty critters away. (The pegasus is lifted into view.)

Pegasus: (Pinkie’s voice) Beat it, windigos! (It is pulled down; back to ground level.)

Applejack: Triumphant, they raised a new flag to celebrate all three tribes, and Equestria was born.

(During this line, a fourth peppermint stick swings up to display a cookie rendition of the standard raised by the three tribes’ leaders in “Hearth’s Warming Eve”—a stylized Princess Celestia and Princess Luna circling the sun and moon and rendered in icing, with stars at the bottom edge. The majesty of the display is promptly wrecked when a big bite disappears from one corner; cut back to the train car. A rather confused Applejack is holding the chomped treat in place of her original pony cookie and facing Bloom, whose face is now entirely clean, on the seat.)

Applejack: Uh, what happened to the flag?

(A loud crunch is heard; cut to Pinkie, cheeks bulging and still speckled with pie filling.)

Pinkie: (innocently, shrugging, mouth full) I don’t know.

(She swallows the lot and licks her face clean, bringing the Apple sisters to smiles. Applejack has put down the partially eaten snack.)

Bloom: (to Applejack, sitting down onto her haunches) Is that why we celebrate with the flag-raisin’ tomorrow?

Applejack: (nodding) Mmm-hmm. And tonight we’ll have the traditional Hearth’s Warmin’ Eve dinner, to remember the shared bounties of our ancestors.

Pinkie: We do that too!

Applejack: (pulling Bloom closer) Then, we’ll hang our Hearth’s Warmin’ dolls over the fireplace, to remind us of the warmth shared on that fateful night.

Pinkie: That’s what our family does too!

Applejack: And tomorrow, we open presents. (Bloom grins; Pinkie jumps toward them on the seat.)

Pinkie: Ah! We do that too! (She sits; Bloom hops down to the floor.)

Bloom: Sounds like the Apples and the Pies do everything the same way!

Applejack, Pinkie: Of course! We might be related! (Pause.) Hey! I was gonna say that! (Both scowl at each other.) Stop sayin’ what I’m sayin’! (Point angrily.) You stop it first!

(Irritation gives way to a double gale of laughter that sends them sliding off the seat. The train’s whistle brings Granny out of her nap; cut to a long shot of the station that served as the setting for the final scene of “Maud Pie.” Under an early-sunset sky, the train pulls in, stops for only a moment, and speeds away again. The five travelers now stand on the platform, Pinkie hopping in place for a moment. She and Applejack have their saddlebags on, Granny sets down a small suitcase in her teeth, and Bloom heaves a trunk up onto Macintosh’s back, slipping and falling flat in the snow.)

Pinkie: I’m so happy, I need to make up a new word for how happy I am. (A moment’s thought.) What about…“roof-tastic”? (Big squeaky grin; cut to Applejack.)

Applejack: “Roof-tastic”?

Pinkie: (from o.s.) As in… (Zip; Applejack looks worriedly upward.) “I gotta get on the roof—” (Long shot; she has done exactly that.) “—and yell to everypony how roof-tastic this is!”

(She punctuates the end of this statement by leaping ecstatically skyward, but the impact of the subsequent touchdown shakes all the snow off the roof and half-buries the other four. Close-up of Applejack as she shakes herself clean.)

Applejack: What if our families don’t like each other? (Pinkie jumps down next to her.)

Pinkie: We are friends, Applejack, and after tonight— (briefly squeezing Applejack’s cheeks) —our families are gonna be friends too. (smiling knowingly) Do you know what that means? (rapid fire, counting on hooves) Number of Apples times number of Pies is twenty-four, minus my pre-existing friendships, plus one for Maud and you, makes five from twenty-four is…

(Deep breath. As she holds up both front hooves, seventeen more extend into view from the edges of the screen. The surfeit of limbs forms a frame around her beaming face and Applejack’s dumbstruck one.)

Pinkie: …nineteen new friendships!

(She lowers her forelegs; the others retract, leaving the apple farmer at a total loss, and now Pinkie’s sister Maud steps onto the platform. The other Apples have now divested themselves of the snow piled on their heads.)

Pinkie: Maud!

(She bounds over with a squeal to deliver an enthusiastic hug to the stolid mare.)

Maud: I’m so excited to see you, Pinkie Pie. You too, Applejack. I hope you had fun sledding yesterday. (Close-up of Applejack, her mind blown.)

Applejack: How’d you know that? (Zoom out; Maud now stands before her.)

Maud: Isn’t it obvious?

(She lifts one orange-tan foreleg, showing bits of material adhering to the hoof.)

Maud: There’s specks of extrusive andesite on your hoof.

(Extreme close-up of it, the focus shifting from it to her peering face.)

Maud: It’s a mountain rock.

Granny: (awed, to Macintosh) Oh, she’s good! (Pinkie pops up alongside Maud.)

Pinkie: How’s school going?

Maud: If you thought quartz was high on the Mohs hardness scale— (heading off platform) —wait ’til I tell you about corundum.

Pinkie: I missed you so much!

(As she hops after her older sister, the four Apples trade a perplexed little grunt and follow them, Granny clamping chompers onto her bag’s handles. Dissolve to the group reaching the top of a hill—Granny no longer with the suitcase—then cut to just behind Maud and tilt up slowly to frame the Pie family rock farm dead ahead, as seen in Pinkie’s flashback during “The Cutie Mark Chronicles.” Lights decorate the house, silo, windmill, and farmyard perimeter, and glowing crystals have been planted in the snow to line the path.)

Applejack: This place looks amazin’! (Maud reaches the house’s front door.)

Pinkie: Come on, everypony! Meet my super-mega-funderful family!

(During this line, Maud opens the door and their parents—father Igneous Rock and mother Cloudy Quartz, both as unemotional as when Pinkie was a filly—emerge onto the walk. Blue-gray sister Limestone follows them out, showing four changes from her earlier youthful appearance. One: the rearward portion of her mane no longer hangs straight down, but rather sweeps back from her head. Two: her haunch bears a cutie mark of half a lime and two white stones. Three: her eyes have lightened from the medium brown of her youth to a pale yellow-green hue. Four: her face is set in a permanent scowl. She walks right past Pinkie without so much as a glance; the latter’s puzzlement shifts to elation as she beckons in through the doorway. Out comes her other sister, the gray Marble, who cringles mightily before a pink hoof shoves her into the open. The dark gray mane/tail have each lengthened and acquired lighter stripes, rather than being solidly colored as in her early years, and her forelock is now long enough to completely hide one eye. She has a cutie mark of three marbles and a timid demeanor that calls to mind Fluttershy’s behavior upon first meeting Twilight.)

(The families form up into two lines, facing each other uneasily as Pinkie hops to a point between the far ends.)

Pinkie: (gesturing first to Apples, then Pies) Everypony, meet everypony!

(Marble bolts for cover; the others close the distance. Granny to Cloudy and Igneous. This shot is close enough to reveal that his eyes are a slightly darker shade of amber than they were in Pinkie’s youth.)

Igneous: Surely thy name is not but Granny Smith? I am called Igneous Rock Pie, son of Feldspar Granite Pie.

Cloudy: Thou shalt know me as Cloudy Quartz.

Igneous: (inclining head just a notch) May Providence favor thee well, and to thou comfort our humble homestead bring.

(Husband and wife are both about as uptight and humorlessly pious as they come—evidently the party that Pinkie threw for the family to get her cutie mark had very little in the way of lasting effects. This last tangle of old-school syntax earns a skeptical squint-eye from the old green mare.)

Granny: Y’all gabbin’ with words real funny-like. (mumbling a bit) What’d you say them names were? (pointing, leaning toward them) Iggy? And I’m-I’m just gonna call you Big Mama Q.

(She backs off, leaving the couple to trade confused/annoyed stares. Cut to a close-up of Limestone, pulling at her cheek to expose as much of the white of that eye as possible. Her voice is a perfect match for the unveiled hostility on her face.)

Limestone: Gaze into the eyes of Limestone Pie. (Longer shot; she is staring down Bloom.) Ma and Pa may own this rock farm, but I keep it running. Cross me and— (Pinkie whips over to push her back.)

Pinkie: Aye-aye, Captain Grumpy! (patting her head) No one’s gonna mess with your precious mine. (Limestone slaps the hoof away.)

Limestone: Or Holder’s Boulder!

(The pink sibling sighs wearily, glances back behind herself, and zooms over to a massive egg-shaped rock standing off by itself in a nearby patch of the yard. Balanced on its large end, it is nearly four times her height.)

Pinkie: Everypony stay away from Holder’s Boulder. (Back to Limestone.) There. You happy now?

(The surly sister glares off in some other direction. Now Applejack approaches Marble, who has taken cover behind one corner of the house.)

Applejack: And you must be— (Marble gets spooked; Pinkie flashes over to drag her out.)

Pinkie: This is Marble Pie, my baby sister who’s only a few minutes younger than me, but she’ll always be a baby to me, isn’t that right? She’s so excited to meet everypony!

(Punctuated by a pat on the head and a pinch of the cheeks; after she lets go, Marble massages her face to dissipate the flush from her skin.)

Pinkie: Oh, and she wishes you all a happy Hearth’s Warming.

(When a moment passes without any sound from her “baby” sister, Pinkie gives her an impatient nudge.)

Marble: (very softly, smiling a bit) Mmm-hmm. (Big grin from Pinkie; cut to Applejack and Bloom.)

Applejack: (hushed, aside, to Bloom) Guess Pinkie Pie always did the talkin’ for her.

(Giggle from the filly. A shrill whistle slices the air; cut to the pink mare now standing atop Holder’s Boulder.)

Pinkie: Attention! (The others gather.)

Limestone: What’d I say about the boulder?!?

Pinkie: (irritated, rolling eyes) I’ll just be a second. (cheerfully) Everypony get settled in. There’s plenty of room upstairs. (standing up to hind legs) And then it’s time for Hearth’s Warming Eve dinner!

(She throws out a burst of confetti on this last word, then jumps down to join the others on their trek to the farmhouse.)

Applejack: (nudging Pinkie) So far, so good…cousin.

(The pink maybe-cousin giggles as they head in. Dissolve to an upper-story bedroom equipped with two pairs of bunk beds and plenty of glowing crystals for light. Macintosh has taken one top bunk, while Bloom bounces gleefully on the other; Applejack sets down her saddlebags, and Granny opens the trunk Macintosh carried in, now resting on the rug. Zoom in slowly.)

Bloom: Oh, I can’t wait to taste their fresh sweet rolls! They’re my favorite part of Hearth’s Warming Eve dinner.

Granny: (fishing out a present, setting it on bunk under Macintosh) I’m more of a “six-layer bean dip” filly, myself. (Bloom stops jumping; Applejack has lain on the bunk underneath.)

Bloom: I love that too!

(The blond mare tilts her hat over her eyes.)

Bloom: (leaning over edge to her) Oh, Applejack— (Close-up of them.) —do you think theirs’ll be even better than ours?

Applejack: (tipping hat back) Oh, that’s a mighty tall order, but… (smiling) …it wouldn’t surprise me in the least.

Pinkie: (from o.s.) Are you excited for dinnertime? (She comes up the stairs, having shed her saddlebags.) Because guess who is! (to the camera) Spoiler alert… (to the room) …it’s me!

(Down she goes. Cut to a doorway elsewhere in the house as the Apples step into view around the frame. A cabinet full of dishes stands nearby, suggesting a dining room, and a cut to their perspective discloses a grinning Pinkie, who ducks aside to confirm that impression. A long table is set with bowls of soup for ten—three along each side, two at each end—and a large pot stands in the middle, with a rock sitting among its contents. The three sisters stand along the side opposite the room’s fireplace, Cloudy and Igneous at the far end; their bowls each contain a smaller stone, and a teacup with a little fragment of its own has been placed next to Maud for her pet rock Boulder. Cut to close-ups of the pot, Limestone’s bowl, then of an unoccupied place as the greenish liquid is served up and a rock dropped in after it. This highly unorthodox cuisine throws the Apples for a loop, and Applejack hangs back as the other three family members hesitantly enter the dining room and take places opposite the sisters.)

Applejack: What about hot rolls? And mulled cider? (walking in) And double-baked pot pie?

Granny: (stammering a bit, poking at her bowl) What about six-layer bean dip?

Maud: We have rock soup. (Applejack and Pinkie are at the table’s end; both have been served.)

Pinkie: (airily) Po-tay-to, po-tah-to. Double-baked pot pie, rock soup. Dinner is dinner. Am I right or am I right?

(Very long, uneasy silence. Close-up of Applejack and Bloom, the latter staring glumly down at her full bowl.)

Applejack: (forcing a smile) Yeah! Um…you know what? This is what we were expectin’! (Bloom throws her a totally baffled look.) Right, everypony?

(Zoom out slowly to frame all the Apples, who can only mumble and smile/grin halfheartedly in reply Macintosh and Granny have their bowls loaded up now. Surprised by Pinkie’s worried expression, Applejack works her way up to a grin and chuckle that are in no way convincing, then turns her eyes toward her bowl as the pink party pony lets a huge grin split her face. Snap to black.)

Act Two

(Opening shot: fade in to an extreme close-up of one bowl of rock soup. Applejack leans into view over it, casting her dismayed reflection in the rippling surface; cut to her and Pinkie. She grimaces to beat the band as her table-mate slurps the stuff down and plunks the bowl back onto the table. Both the soup and the rock are gone.)

Pinkie: Is everything all right, Applejack?

Applejack: (smiling weakly) Of course. I’m just bein’ a rusty fiddle. (picking up her bowl) Tune me up and let’s get back to dinner.

(Easier said than done, judging from the extreme distaste that steals over her face—but she manages to drink some of the funky-looking brew. Cut to her perspective of the table, panning slowly from her family’s side to the Pies’; Igneous bites into the rock from his bowl, while Limestone grins savagely toward Applejack. The camera then returns to the Ponyville farmer, who finishes her bowl and sets it down with a disgusted grimace. Her attempt at a smile gets ruined by a sudden retch and bulge of cheeks, and she proceeds to spit the rock from her serving back into the bowl, completely intact. Her weak grin is met with a wave of one pink hoof, aimed down the table.)

Pinkie: More rock, please!

(Two ladles extend into view and reload the bowls with soup and fresh stones.)

Pinkie: (nudging Applejack) Eat up so we can get to our Hearth’s Warming dolls! (She lifts her bowl and drinks.)

Applejack: (smiling) Now that’s something I know all about!

(Wipe to a long shot of the rock farm, seen from below the edge of a cliff or ravine, and tilt down to the sound of tools striking stone. The exposed face has had a zigzagging, gradually sloping ramp cut into it, and all ten ponies stand in a small clearing at the bottom of this. A set of cart tracks leads into a mine tunnel. Pickaxes have been provided, and all but Pinkie have a stone to work on; Limestone’s is a boulder nearly as big as she is.)

Pinkie: (holding up a rock) Who wants a Hearth’s Warming doll? (Grin; cut to the Apples, all in low spirits.)

Applejack: Are you sayin’ that rock is a Hearth’s Warmin’ doll?

Pinkie: Don’t be silly, silly!

(Setting the chunk on a handy outcropping, she takes her pick in her teeth and drives the point home once. The mass crumbles into a rough-hewn miniature of herself; zoom out from it to frame her.)

Pinkie: Our dolls are these little pieces! (looking off to one side) Isn’t that right, Marble Pie?

(Cut to the non-talkative sister, who has already carved a stone doll in her approximate likeness and freezes in mid-swing.)

Marble: (blushing) Mmm-hmm.

(She starts chipping at a spot, the camera panning to Maud, the elder Pies, and Limestone, all refining their own mineral avatars. Applejack turns her wondering green eyes away from the industrious work to Granny, who swings her pick only to land a glancing blow that knocks her rock away. Pan slowly toward Bloom and Macintosh, neither having made any progress.)

Bloom: Our dolls are…rocks?

(Macintosh takes a crack at it, but the head of his pickaxe breaks off and clatters to the ground. Seeing nothing for it, Applejack bites down on hers and slams it into her stone; this one crumbles to pieces.)

Applejack: (hopefully) Uh…y’all don’t have traditional crochet dolls passed down in your family? (Pinkie hurries over.)

Pinkie: Ohhhh, you’re just a frown factory because you got a weird rock.

(Close-up of the dejected orange-tan face on the second half of this; Pinkie holds up one piece, whose surface has chipped and fractured to resemble a frowning face. Putting it down, she leans toward Applejack in irrepressible high spirits.)

Pinkie: Cheer up! (throwing foreleg around shoulders) I’m sure you’ll do great in the flag-finding mission.

Applejack: What-findin’ what, now?

(All she gets is a placid little grin. Wipe to the ten equines gathered at Holder’s Boulder, seen in an overhead shot, and zoom in slowly.)

Pinkie: Limestone Pie, you’re the judge.

(Ground level; she bulldozes Macintosh over in front of the huge rock at warp speed.)

Pinkie: Big Mac… (She does the same with Marble, leaving them face to face.) …Marble Pie, you’re Team One.

(The two avert their eyes with bashful little grins and blushes. Next Pinkie plunks Bloom down next to Maud.)

Pinkie: Apple Bloom and Maud, you’re Team Two. (Over to her parents.) Ma, Pa, you’re gonna be with Granny Smith.

(She ducks out of sight, instantly replacing herself with Granny, and pops up alongside them as they train bewildered/annoyed glances on her.)

Pinkie: Don’t think of it as Team Old. Think of it as Team Three. (Over to Applejack, throwing a foreleg around her neck.) And I’m with Applejack, of course, since we might be cousins. (Both faces break out in grins.)

Applejack: So now that we’re all split up, mind tellin’ us what we’re doin’?

(Cut to the top of the monolith as Pinkie trots up the side to balance on it.)

Pinkie: As everypony knows…

Limestone: (from o.s.) Stay off Holder’s Boulder!

Pinkie: Sheesh! (She jumps down.) …when the three tribes united to form Equestria, the first flag was sewn by Nimble Thimble. It’s tradition to raise the flag on Hearth’s Warming to celebrate that famous day. (Murmurs of agreement from the group.) But who gets to put the flag on Holder’s Boulder? (Cut to Applejack.)

Applejack: (puzzled) You mean on the flagpole?

Pinkie: (from o.s.) No, silly. (Overhead shot of the group; she gestures toward the top.) It goes on the highest point. And who’s the lucky pony? (Ground level.)

Applejack: Uh, traditionally, it’s the youngest—

Pinkie: On your mark, get set, go!

(As Teams One through Three spread out, Applejack just watches them go and scratches her head, good and flummoxed.)

Applejack: Pinkie Pie, will you please tell us what’s goin’ on? (Pinkie hooks a foreleg around her neck.)

Pinkie: I’ll explain on the way!

Applejack: (as Pinkie yanks her o.s.) Whoa!

 

(Dissolve to an overhead shot of the mine tunnel entrance at the bottom of the cliff and zoom in slowly.)

Applejack: (from inside, echoing slightly) I still don’t understand.

(Inside the tunnel, Pinkie pokes her head out among formations of pink/violet-hued crystals. As she speaks, she ducks here and there and the camera pans to follow Applejack’s uncomprehending walk across this chamber.)

Pinkie: Earlier today, Limestone Pie hid an obsidian stone.

(The hatted mare stops at a loaded mine cart on the tracks, from which her teammate pops up to scatter crystal chunks everywhere.)

Pinkie: Whoever finds it gets to raise the flag. (Duck away again.)

Applejack: It’s all just so…complicated. And…rock-based. (Now Pinkie hangs into view from above.)

Pinkie: Well, how else would we do it? (Hoist out of sight.)

Applejack: I don’t know. I sure hope everypony else is havin’ a better time.

(As she plods away, the view dissolves to a long shot of the rock farm. Zoom in slowly; Macintosh and Marble are looking around separate areas of the yard.)

Marble: Mmm-hmm.

Macintosh: Ee-yup. (Close-up of each in turn.)

Marble: (smiling briefly) Mmm-hmm.

Macintosh: (ditto) Eeeeeee-yup.

(They resume their leisurely search. Dissolve to Granny, Cloudy, and Igneous on a snowy field studded with sizable rocks. The family patriarch flips one of these up for look underneath, then lets it slam down during the next line.)

Granny: (to Cloudy) So, how’d you meet this Iggy feller? (Close-up of Cloudy.)

Cloudy: We were chosen by the Pairing Stone and betrothed within a fortnight. (Pan to Igneous.)

Igneous: The Choosing Stone decreed, “Thou shalt love one another.” And lo, it was so. (Cloudy gives the slightest of nods.)

Granny: (stroking chin thoughtfully) Hoo-wee! I gots to look into this old-fangled Choosin’ Stone thing. (She leans slyly toward the couple.) Do you reckon it knows any apple-farmin’ hunks? (They smile; next two lines overlap.)

Cloudy: (nodding) Mmm-hmm.

Igneous: (blushing) Indeed so.

(Dissolve to a close-up of Bloom standing atop a formation and shading her eyes with a hoof to stare ahead. After a moment, she drops the leg and addresses herself down o.s.)

Bloom: What does the rock look like?

(Ground level; Maud is down here, poking at a fragment from the luminescent crystals that dot the area.)

Maud: (kicking it away) It looks like something that formed when volcanic lava cooled quickly.

Bloom: Oh. (Focus shifts to each speaker in turn.)

Maud: (holding up another piece) Have you ever wished you could turn into a rock?

Bloom: I had a dream once I was an apple.

Maud: We have a lot in common when it comes to thinking about turning into things.

(In close-up, the yellow filly smiles warmly as a blush tints her cheeks. Dissolve to a close-up of a couple of vividly tinted stones on the ground in the subterranean mine chamber. Applejack leans down over these, picks one up with a scowl of disgust, and throws it aside.)

Pinkie: (from o.s.) Found it, found it, found it!

(This exclamation startles the blond pony into straightening up and clunking her head a good one on a low overhang. Once she gets clear of this, she looks across the cavern and spots Pinkie, who stands up to her hind legs with a drawing of a black stone in her teeth. Zoom in to a close-up of this.)

Applejack: (from o.s., annoyed) A picture? (Cut to her.) I’ve been lookin’ for a real stone, Pinkie Pie! (Pinkie lets the paper fall.)

Pinkie: Um, that would be weird.

(She drops to all fours, instantly regaining her giddiness and bouncing in place for a moment.)

Pinkie: Do you know what this means? I get to raise the flag—and now it’s time to hide the presents! (She picks up the drawing.)

Applejack: (incredulously) Y’all hide your presents?

Pinkie: Of course! What’s more fun than getting a present? (rising to hind legs, spreading forelegs wide; drawing out of sight) Finding a present! (To all fours; cross past Applejack.) Although most years, nopony finds one.

(Applejack’s mind proceeds to throw about six rods at once.)

Applejack: So…nopony gets presents? (She hurries after Pinkie; they walk along the cart tracks.)

Pinkie: Eh, not usually.

Applejack: So let me get all this straight. You’re only allowed to eat rock soup for dinner, then the pony who finds this rock gets to raise the flag, but not really ’cause you don’t got no flagpole— (They stop near the exit.) —and to top it off, you don’t even get presents?

Pinkie: Well…doesn’t sound very fun when you say it that way.

Applejack: (smiling) Well, how ’bout you picture this? (Zoom in slowly on her.) Both our families… (Sit down on haunches.) …openin’ presents…raisin’ the flag?

Pinkie: (pensively) Picturing it… (smiling) …loving it!

(The two walk out side by side, an orange-tan foreleg across the pink shoulders. Dissolve to the exterior of the farmhouse, now standing under a crescent moon and star-filled night sky, and zoom in slowly.)

Pinkie: (from inside) Good night, everypony!

Applejack: (from inside) Good night, Pinkie Pie!

(Inside, the party pony descends the stairs from the Apples’ room, the candle balanced on her hoof providing the only light. As she passes from view, Applejack peeks down after her, having removed her hat; the camera then cuts to her, addressing herself across the room. Normal light is restored up here.)

Applejack: We gotta do somethin’, y’all. Pinkie Pie’s family never had a real Hearth’s Warmin’. (Cut to Granny, tucked into a bunk.)

Granny: Is that really what she said?

(Longer shot; Applejack paces the floor, the camera panning to follow her past the other bunks. Macintosh is starting to nod off up top, his weight causing the mattress to sag so badly that it presses against that of the bottom bunk.)

Applejack: Well, I-I’m sure it’s what she meant. (Bloom pushes her head out from under the sag.)

Bloom: These are their traditions. (Macintosh shifts position, squashing her.)

Macintosh: Ee-yup.

(The yellow face retracts out of sight, Macintosh closes his eyes, and the camera shifts to frame all four bunks. Granny is in the other top bunk, and an unconvinced Applejack stands between the two pairs to let out a sigh.)

Applejack: I know they have their traditions— (pacing) —and we have ours—

(Cut to outside the window near the bunks, zooming out slowly as she watches the snow come down.)

Applejack: —but I just want them to see how much better theirs could be.

(She settles into some heavy pondering. Dissolve to a close-up of Pinkie’s face, peacefully composed in sleep, as a shaft of sunlight falls across it. The distant crowing of a rooster brings her to full, shining-eyed, grinning consciousness in about ten microseconds flat, and she sits bolt upright in the bed she is sharing with her sisters.)

Pinkie: HEARTH’S WARMING!!

(Limestone and Marble snap awake, Limestone falling out of bed, but Maud does not even stir. A moment later she is in her parents’ room. Cloudy and Igneous are using separate beds, Cloudy’s glasses and a set of dentures in a glass of water rest on a nightstand between them, and Igneous’s hat hangs on his bedpost. This shot reveals that the stallion has gone bald on top.)

Pinkie: Hearth’s Warming, Hearth’s Warming! (They wake up; now she zips into the Apples’ room.) Hearth’s Warming, Hearth’s Warming!

(She throws confetti here, but three heads rise from the pillows this time—all but Applejack accounted for. Her next move is to the front step.)

Pinkie: Hearth’s Warming, Hearth’s—

(All that gusto vanishes in one terrible instant, her mouth falling open and her hind-legged pose looking as if all her bones might turn to water at any moment. She drops to all fours as her parents step out behind her, their respective accessories back in place, and stare in greatly muted horror.)

Igneous: Oh, my. Oh, my. (Here come the other three daughters, Limestone shoving to the front.)

Limestone: What—happened—to—my—FARM?!?

(On this last word, the camera zooms out quickly to frame the entire yard. Applejack stands out here, amid a path of giant candy canes and glowing starts on poles that lead toward Holder’s Boulder, and is wearing her hat again. A beribboned, lighted, candy-striped pole has been planted next to it and hung with the flag of Equestria at half-staff. More stars stand atop the farmhouse roof, and a large dose of lights/wreaths/bows has been applied to every square inch of that structure. The apple expert’s absence from Pinkie’s wake-up call is now explained—she spent the night setting this up. Not too far beyond the perimeter fence is the edge of the ravine in which the previous day’s doll carving took place.)

Applejack: It’s Hearth’s Warming, Apple style! (Close-up.) We’ve been doin’ everything your way.

(Zoom out slightly as the Pies step out; on the next line, pan to frame the other Apples doing likewise.)

Applejack: I thought we could mix it up a bit. (These three pairs of eyes widen confusedly; she shepherds Marble forward.) Marble Pie, you could raise the Equestria flag up this pole—

(Cut to a close-up of it on the end of this, then zoom out to frame both mares at the base.)

Applejack: —because you’re the youngest Pie. (Cut to Pinkie/Cloudy/Igneous; she continues o.s.) Maw and Paw Pie— (crossing to them) —we’ll cook you up a meal you’ll never forget. (pointing across yard) And look!

(Pan quickly to a colossal pile of wrapped gifts, placed to block the glare of the rising sun but allowing its rays to spill around them.)

Applejack: (from o.s.) We all get presents— (She pops up into view.) —without havin’ to find ’em!

(Bloom, standing between the impassive Maud and the gobsmacked Granny, lets her face light up and dashes across to pick one box up and give it an experimental shake in close-up. A penetrating glare from the white-maned mare, and she contritely sets it down.)

Pinkie: (from o.s., uncertainly) Yeah! (Zoom out to frame all.) This is gonna be great— (Close-up, with Applejack.) —all the stuff she said! Right, everypony?

Igneous: (from o.s., sternly) Pinkamena Diane Pie! (Cut to him and Cloudy.) Truly thou do not favor this madness.

Pinkie: Well…I-I want to be one big family. (Limestone crosses to her.)

Limestone: But what about what we usually do?

Pinkie: I…um…well… (tearing up) …I-I don’t know! (sobbing) Don’t make me choose! (She collapses to her haunches.)

Applejack: I didn’t mean to cause a fuss. Why don’t we just open presents around the flagpole? It’ll be fun. You’ll see.

Maud: (from o.s.) Excuse me.

(Cut to her, hunched down and scrutinizing the ground at the base of the flagpole. She straightens up before continuing.)

Maud: You planted your pole on a fault line.

(As if it had been waiting for that very cue, the earth begins to shiver and fracture and a crack snakes toward the base of Holder’s Boulder. It settles into the widening fissure and, now unbalanced, starts to roll away toward the fence. Smashing through this as if it were made of toothpicks, the monolith plunges out of sight to a camera-shaking crash that marks its landing at the bottom of the ravine.  Cut to a point several yards below the edge, the camera pointing up out of it as all six Pies poke their heads over for a panic-stricken look, then to an overhead of the rock from deeper down and zoom in slowly.)

Limestone: (from o.s., anguished) NOOOOOO!!

(The camera cuts back to the yard as her voice dies away, just in time for the flagpole to snap near its base and topple over.)

Applejack: (sighing) Oh, boy.

(Snap to black.)

Act Three

(Opening shot: fade in to a close-up of a trash can. A string of lights dangles over the edge, and a wreath is flung in to join them. On the start of the next line, zoom out to show it standing outside the house; Limestone has dumped the decorations in, and Pinkie is addressing her. Behind them, Maud takes down another of the wreaths.)

Pinkie: You didn’t have to ask them to leave!

Limestone: They wanted to go. We don’t need anypony forcing their way into our family. (Marble is now out with them.)

Pinkie: This was all a misunderstanding, everypony. I know Applejack, and she’d never do anything bad to anypony.

(Overhead shot of the yard, whose candy canes and stars have all collapsed amid a scatter of debris that used to be the presents.)

Limestone: Look around, Pinkie Pie! It’s gonna take me ages to get this rock farm back on track! (Cut to her and Pinkie.) And how are we gonna lift Holder’s Boulder? (The family gathers in.) This is all her fault!

Pinkie: (crushed, plodding away) Then it’s my fault too.

(Cut to a close-up of the Apples’ trunk in their room, the lid open and swung up toward the camera. Granny reaches up from behind to close it, having lost every vestige of holiday cheer.)

Granny: Prob’ly best if we head back to Sweet Apple Acres. (addressing herself o.s.; camera pans to frame Bloom and Macintosh) Maybe in time we’ll be friends again. (now o.s.; they hang their heads) Eh—but for the now, it’s best if we give them a little space.

Bloom: I wish we didn’t have to. (She moves to the window, seeing the cleanup in progress.) I really like Maud. She’s sweet, once you get to know her. They all are.

(With the possible exception of Limestone, who locks eyes with the filly and points forcefully toward the edge of the property. So much so, in fact, that she could not make her message any clearer if she shouted “get out” at the top of her lungs through a bullhorn. Bloom flops onto her haunches.)

Bloom: Worst Hearth’s Warming ever. (Zoom out slowly.)

Granny: (looking around) Eh—has anypony seen Applejack?

(The two younger pairs of eyes join her cursory search but turn up no sign of the prodigal granddaughter. Wipe to the mine tunnel entrance and zoom in slowly to the sound of her quiet sniffling and sobbing inside, then cut to her sitting on her haunches among the crystal growths within.)

Applejack: I really cracked the corn this time.

(Pan to Pinkie, sitting a short distance away with her back turned and also crying.)

Pinkie: I really popped the piñata this time.

Applejack: (from o.s.) Pinkie Pie?

(Pinkie looks up with a yelp; pan quickly back to Applejack, who straightens up as the other mare zips over to her.)

Pinkie: What are you doing here? (Applejack falls back to her haunches.)

Applejack: What are you doin’ here? (Pinkie follows suit.)

Applejack, Pinkie: I-I came here to think! (Pause.) You did? So did I!

(Just as on the train in Act One, the unison-speaking routine gives way to a round of gentle laughter.)

Applejack: I’m too ashamed to go back up there. Your family, my family, they all must think I’m such a nincompoop. (Pinkie stands.)

Pinkie: Aw, no one thinks that. (Applejack smiles; she drops to haunches.) Pushy, aggressive, mean…

(These unflattering adjectives cause Applejack to harden her expression and cock one eyebrow.)

Pinkie: Oh. I’m not helping. (Stand, grin, nuzzle Applejack’s cheek.) Sorry. (Sit.)

Applejack: (standing) I’m sorry I forced my traditions over yours. I don’t want you to have to choose between the family you were born into and the friends who love you like one. (She turns away.) I really hoped we could be one big happy family. (softly) I guess not. (Pinkie stands.)

Pinkie: Don’t say that!

(She takes a couple of steps toward Applejack, but the distant sound of a train whistle at the surface stops any further words in her throat.)

Applejack: I-I wish I could stay, but…I-I have a train to catch. (She walks off.)

Pinkie: (crying) H-H…Happy Hearth’s Warming.

Applejack: (ditto) You too.

(Dissolve to a train car window, seen from outside and framing a downcast Applejack and Macintosh as the train rumbles along, then cut to the Apple family on two facing seats. Granny is morosely leafing through a book next to a curled-up Bloom; after a few silent seconds, she closes it.)

Granny: D’you want to know why Holder’s Boulder’s so dang-ed important? (She breathes on the window, fogging it up.) Well, now—

(Extreme close-up of the surface; she draws a stick-figure pony and adds an upright oval beneath it while narrating.)

Granny: (from o.s.) —their great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather, Holder Cobblestone, he found that boulder in a dragon’s nest. Older than time itself. (Cut to a thoughtful Applejack.) They built the family farm around it—

(Back to Granny, who has added a house to the tableau and is drawing a circle around the whole thing.)

Granny: —even though it was just a ordinary rock [sic]. It’s always brought them good luck.

Applejack: (hoof to forehead) Oh, crickets. That is important! (She climbs down off her seat.) I got so caught up in the things they were doin’, I never asked why they did ’em.

(A sudden lurch of the train causes a lumpy, sloppily wrapped package to drop into view and whack her over the head. She shakes the sense back into herself as it rolls away, then hurries across the aisle to get a look at its tag.)

Applejack: (reading, smiling) “To Applejack. From Pinkie Pie. Cousins forever.”

(The green eyes water up as Bloom scurries over.)

Bloom: You just found your first Pie Hearth’s Warming present ever!

Applejack: (chuckling) Only Pinkie Pie could hide a present on a movin’ train. (A moment’s thought.) What a great tradition!

(A bigger idea comes to her.)

Applejack: (galloping along aisle, toward camera) STOP THE TRAIN!!

(Fade to black as her face fills the screen, then in to a long shot of the rock farm, seen from slightly below ground level in the ravine. Tilt down to the sound of straining, and stop on the Pie family pushing with all their might on Holder’s Boulder. They have managed to get it to the bottom of the ramp, but can move it no farther, and Pinkie’s face briefly flushes red with exertion.)

Pinkie: Come on…you…boulder…come on… (A frustrated shriek.)

Maud: I’m pushing as hard as I can, too.

(Still totally deadpan. After a few more seconds, Limestone relents with an angry growl.)

Limestone: Oh, it’s hopeless! (All others stop.)

Applejack: (from o.s.) Need a little help?

(Surprise from Cloudy and Igneous, rancor from Limestone, and a beaming look from Pinkie. Pan quickly across the clearing to frame the…)

Pinkie: (from o.s., gasping) Apples! (Cut to frame all ten.)

Limestone: What do you want?

Applejack: (crossing to her) I wasn’t tryin’ to take your traditions away. (removing hat) I was tryin’ to share ours. I was so focused on us being one big happy family, I thought we needed the same traditions right away. What I shoulda done is learn about yours and teach you about ours. (Slow pan across the Pies; she continues o.s.) And over time, we’d make new traditions together.

(Back to her, letting go with a heavy sigh.)

Applejack: I’m sorry, y’all.

(Donning her hat, she stands her ground before the rock-farming clan as five pairs of eyes train themselves on Limestone. She glares from one to another for a tense moment.)

Limestone: Well, don’t just stand there. (smiling) We got a boulder to move!

(Smiles break out on the other Pies’ faces except for Maud, then the Apples’, and the latter four move in to help.)

Limestone: And I’m in charge!

(Every single one of them, young to old, puts might and muscle to it with a chorus of heaves and groans. Slowly, ever so slowly, the boulder’s narrow upper end starts to tip toward the ground.)

Pinkie: I think we just invented our first combined tradition—pushing Holder’s Boulder out of the quarry! (Squeal; tilt up slowly, putting them o.s.) I can’t wait for Applejack to knock it over next Hearth’s Warming!

(Laughter floats up from both families as the view dissolves to a close-up of one end of the dining room’s fireplace mantel, on which two rough-hewn rock dolls have been set—Maud and Pinkie. The camera pans slowly to the other end, passing likenesses of Igneous, Cloudy, Macintosh, Bloom, and Granny before stopping on an empty spot, and zooms out to frame Applejack. She has her misshapen, frowning doll in her teeth, and she sets it up here with a smile. Elsewhere in the room, Maud is holding up Boulder for Bloom to pet, and a fiercely smiling Limestone enters with a tray of freshly baked pastries balanced on a front hoof. Her eyes soften a bit as Bloom scoops up three of them, chomping into one and placing another on the floor for Boulder when Maud sets it down. The stolid bluish-gray face displays the tiniest of smiles as Bloom swallows her mouthful and grins. Macintosh and Marble sit on their haunches before the fire, facing away from each other at first but glancing at other from the corners of their eyes with small smiles. The red and gray heads turn toward each other, Macintosh opening his mouth to speak, but Pinkie drops into view before he can do so and pulls them close.)

Pinkie: Marble Pie, you want to wish Big Mac a happy Hearth’s Warming, don’t you? (Macintosh blushes.) And you too, right, Big Mac?

Marble: (a bit louder than before) Mmm-hmm.

Macintosh: (chuckling) Ee-yup.

(Pinkie leaves them, trotting across the room and passing the table where Granny, Cloudy, and Igneous have cups of tea set out.)

Granny: Eh, let me see here, uh… (slowly) …if thou asketh me, uh, thou two art, uh, okay-eth in my book.

Igneous: Y-Yee-haa.

(All three beam at this first step toward getting a grip on each other’s parlance. Over in one corner, Applejack has sat down with the irregular gift that beaned her on the train; As Pinkie crosses to her and sits as well, she gives it a shake—nothing doing—then eagerly rips into the wrapping paper to find a sizable rock underneath it.)

Pinkie: Happy Hearth’s Warming! (Applejack stands.)

Applejack: Happy Hearth’s Warmin’, Pinkie Pie. (The pink mare stands so the two can embrace.)

Bloom: (from o.s.) Attention, everypony! (Close-up of her.) Maud wants to sing some Hearth’s Warming carols that she wrote!

(Longer shot: Maud has plunked her haunches on the rug at the center of the room, and Bloom sits next to her as the other eight gather around cheering. Macintosh and Marble are sitting side by side near the fire.)

Maud: The first one is about rocks. (Extreme close-up.) They’re all about rocks.

(Longer shot again, zooming out slowly; she pulls out a sheet of paper.)

Maud: (reading)                 “Hearth’s Warming is great,

                                Like calcium silicate.”

(Dissolve to an overhead shot of the house, zooming out slowly under the falling snow. Holder’s Boulder has been returned to its original place, hung with a wreath, and propped up with giant candy canes, and the house has retained the extra lights. All of Applejack’s extra decorations have been cleared away, except for the extra lights she added to the farmhouse roof.)

Maud: (from inside)                “What a wonderful day,

                                As good as mica or clay.”

(Fade to black.)

(The usual closing theme does not accompany the credits. In its place is a quiet, lush orchestral string/woodwind piece in E major, not unlike a Christmas carol.)


SCARE MASTER

Written by Natasha Levinger

Produced by Devon Cody

Story editing by Meghan McCarthy

Consulting direction by Jayson Thiessen

Supervising direction by Jim Miller

Directed by Denny Lu

Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)

Prologue

(Opening shot: fade in to a close-up of one of Fluttershy’s cottage windows, seen from inside. The darkening sunset sky can be seen through the glass, but the pegasus pays no mind as she flies into view and hurriedly pulls down the shade. She does the same to another window as her rabbit Angel, a spider, and a bear watch, then pulls the curtains closed on a third. A noise draws her unsettled gaze off to one side; pan quickly in that direction to a fourth window swinging open in the breeze and banging against the frame.)

Fluttershy: Fuzzylegs, do you think you could secure those windows?

(The spider throws her a salute and shoots two strands of silk across the room, snagging the errant panes and pulling them shut. Now Fluttershy turns to a group of birds on a perch.)

Fluttershy: And you’ll alert me if anything scary comes close to the cottage? (They nod and chirp an affirmative.) Oh, who am I kidding? When something scary comes close to the cottage! (to the bear) Please tell me my hiding place is ready!

(A smiling ursine nod and growl. Cut to within a darkened area, a length of hanging cloth cutting off the light beyond; the bear’s claws reach into view underneath this and pull up part of it. Fluttershy crawls partway through the opening and looks in, features rearranging into a look of surprise and then relief.)

Fluttershy: Oh, look. You’ve filled it with everything I need to survive this awful night.

(The camera cuts to her perspective, panning slowly across the space—a small, low-ceilinged enclosure hemmed in by cloth hangings and stocked with stuffed animals, pillows, books, food, and a vase of flowers. A lantern gently glows yellow. After she finishes, cut to her bedroom; she is peeking in under her bed at the homemade panic room she has assembled there, and the bear is holding up the edge of the quilt for her. Pulling her head out, she gives the big lug a big hug as it lets go of the cloth.)

Fluttershy: Thank you. (The other animals gather around.) Thank you all. (Close-up.) Now I don’t have to step a hoof outside until this whole thing is over.

(Her reverie is broken by a tug on her mane; tilt down to floor level, where Angel lets go of the pink hair. He indignantly shakes an empty bucket he has procured, then holds it out to her.)

Fluttershy: Oh, no. You don’t have any carrots? (She leans down to him.) Do we have any other fresh veggies you may enjoy? (He growls at her.) Or maybe some hay?

(The bucket is flung aside and one white paw gestures imperiously—“snap to, grunt!” Instantly the yellow face grimaces in brain-locking fear.)

Fluttershy: But…that means I’ll need to go out…

(Cut to outside the bedroom window as she peers out, terrified and shaking from head to hoof.)

Fluttershy: (barely getting the words out) …on Nightmare Night!

(Zoom out quickly to frame the whole cottage and the front walk. Lightning rips the sky as a few costumed revelers make their way past. Snap to black.)

OPENING THEME

Act One

(Opening shot: fade in to a patch of sky above the Ponyville rooftops. Nightmare Night decorations are already on display as they were in “Luna Eclipsed,” and ponies at all altitudes continue with the setup job as the camera tilts down to street level. Fluttershy advances fearfully into view, doing her best not to bolt at the sound of a distant firecracker and the sight of a ghost-marked balloon that drifts by on the breeze. Pan quickly to a jack-o’-lantern on a windowsill, then cut back to her; she backs away ever so warily, but relaxes upon spotting Amethyst Star and Twinkleshine standing at a tent and laughing at something within. Their combined magic causes several toy spiders to drop from the ceiling on strings, throwing a fresh scare into her and sending her backpedaling again.)

(She backs up into a wall and swivels to face it, getting an eyeful of the spider and pony skeleton hung up in the nearest window. This startles her into a long gasp, hoof pressed to her chest, as three foals walk past behind her.)

Foals:                Nightmare Night, what a fright!

(She relaxes upon seeing them and hearing the old chant.)

                Gimme something sweet to bite!

(They wheel to face her, each showing off a set of fake teeth—two with fangs, the third with crooked buck teeth—and she gasps and bugs out. The foals stare confusedly after her for a moment, then continue on their way.)

Foals:                 Nightmare Night, what a fright!

                Gimme something sweet to bite!

(On the second line, the camera cuts to a close-up of Big Macintosh, clamping his teeth onto the rope cinched around one of several hay bales on the ground, and zooms out. He flips it into a wagon already piled high, and Granny Smith is tying up another one. The foals’ chant fades into the distance over this. Macintosh shifts a second into the wagon; in close-up, the third one he lifts reveals a shivering Fluttershy hunched down beneath the vehicle.)

Granny: (from o.s.) Fluttershy? (Peek out; cut to the pegasus’ perspective of both Apples.) What are you doin’ out and about? It’s Nightmare Night, remember? (Back to Fluttershy.)

Fluttershy: How can I forget? (She glances at a bale still on the ground and smiles hopefully.) Oh, I don’t suppose I could borrow a few pieces of hay from you. (Crawl out; stand up.) I forgot to stock up on food for Angel, and you do seem to have quite a lot. (Macintosh tosses his bale into the wagon.)

Granny: We need it for the Apple family haunted maze. (spooky voice, waving forelegs about) The scariest maze that there ever was. (She leans into Fluttershy’s face.) Who knows what lurks inside?

Fluttershy: Oh, I’m sure I don’t. (Granny leans over her back, feigning alarm.)

Granny: Is that the mummified pony that just leaped out at you? (Fluttershy crumples to the ground as she speaks, ending up on her back.)

Fluttershy: I don’t know! (pulling a bale over herself) Is it?

Granny: (reaching over it past her) And what’s that crunchin’ sound beneath your hooves? Maybe it’s the bones of ponies that didn’t make it out alive! (Fluttershy shoots upright.)

Fluttershy: (shaking all over) B-B-B-Bones?

Granny: And are those peeled grapes— (Close-up; eerie light shines on her eyes as they counter-rotate.) —or a thousand slimy eyeballs starin’ at you from beyond the grave? (Normal light resumes.)

Fluttershy: (on the edge of a breakdown) Please tell me they’re grapes!

Granny: (slyly) Oh, I’ll never tell.

(She rears up and lets go with a cracked, cackling laugh as a lightning strike silhouettes her against the evening sky. Having had quite enough, Fluttershy voices a cry of pure fear and gallops headlong away from the mad matriarch and her grandson.)

Granny: Huh. I wonder what got stuck in her craw.

(To which Macintosh just gives her a slightly weary “are you kidding?” sort of glance. Dissolve to the exterior of Twilight Sparkle’s castle, the camera tilted to frame it at a slightly off-kilter angle. Hanging from a dead tree branch in the foreground is a stone slab into which a crown has been crudely carved. A thin mist wreathes the ground as more lightning rips across a sky that has now darkened into night. The uppermost window is the only one lit. Fluttershy steps slowly into view toward the castle, the camera zooming out slowly to frame her as she shoots a panicked glance over the countryside.)

(Cut to an overhead shot of the entrance hall, dimly lit, as she eases one of the double doors open and risks a look inside. Her next two lines echo slightly.)

Fluttershy: Twilight?

(Ground level, she inches along the carpet, hooves clopping softly but coming through loud and clear in the stillness.)

Fluttershy: Hello?

(A faint rustling sound freezes her in place; up ahead, an eerie glow spills from around a corner and a huge, hunched, reptilian shadow shambles along the far wall. Fluttershy develops a very bad case of the shakes and, after holding her tongue as long as she dares, cuts loose with a scream. The source of the shadow proves to be Spike, suited up in a dragon costume colored almost identically to his own hide. His head, arms, and legs remain uncovered, a not-quite finished second head is stitched onto one shoulder, and two extra hind legs are attached ahead of the tail—he is posing as a two-headed dragon.)

Spike: You think it’s scary now, just wait until it’s done. (The fake head droops; he hoists it up and walks toward her.)

Fluttershy: That’s okay. I’ll take your word for it. (Spike struggles with it a little more.)

Spike: Hey…wait a minute. It’s Nightmare Night, and you’re here and— (smiling) —not holed up in your cottage. (excitedly) Does this mean what I think it means?

Fluttershy: (rapid fire) That I foolishly forgot to stock up on food for Angel and had to go out to get him something, but got spooked in town, so I came here hoping Twilight had some lettuce I could give him?

Spike: (deflated) Oh. I thought maybe you’d decided to come out with us tonight.

Fluttershy: Goodness, no! I couldn’t be out tonight. I just couldn’t!

Spike: Technically speaking, you already are out right now. (He nods the fake head.)

Fluttershy: Oh. I guess that is true.

Spike: So, what if you stayed out a little longer with your friends? I know they’d be super-excited.

Fluttershy: You think so?

Spike: It would make them so happy if you joined in! They wouldn’t believe their eyes! Come on, Fluttershy. (Cut to her; he continues o.s.) What do you say?

(She turns this over a few hundred thousand times, her cogitations interrupted by the sound of laughter from far overhead. Tilt up into the heights of the entrance hall and fade to black.)

Pinkie Pie: (voice over, ominously) And then…

(The tilt stops, bringing the camera to rest on a silhouette of her head. Behind her is the dimly lit castle library.)

Pinkie: …it got very, very quiet. And suddenly they realized—  (A light snaps on, illuminating her face; she raises a lantern.) —the balloons had never been inflated!

(Cut to just behind her. She has been telling this tale to Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity, all seated on their haunches before her on the floor; the four scream in fright, then break out into a round of hearty laughter. Once they settle down, Rarity shifts into ghost-story mode and floats the lantern over to herself.)

Rarity: Did I ever tell you about the night that the mannequin came to life and haunted all the costumes? (Rainbow leans over to her.)

Rainbow: What happened? (Rarity rolls her eyes and shifts back to her usual tone.)

Rarity: I just told you, darling. A mannequin came to life. Haunted all the costumes.

(This bite-size yarn is enough to spook a short, sharp cry out of Pinkie and make her fall onto her back. Rarity lets the lantern settle to the floor.)

Fluttershy: (from o.s.) Hi, everypony!

(All the lights come on as Pinkie sits up, and the five mares yell in fright. Zoom out to put Fluttershy partly in view in the fore.)

Twilight: Fluttershy— (Cut to the pegasus and dragon; she crosses to them.) —what are you doing here? Is everything okay?

Fluttershy: Everything is fine. (crossing to others) In fact, it’s more than fine. I’ve decided to join you in your Nightmare Night festivities.

(Rainbow is first to work up a response, prefacing it with an incredulous scoff.)

Rainbow: Seriously? You? Out? Tonight?

(An incensed Rarity steps over, gives her a “shut it” nudge in the chest, and backs off. Twilight and Spike cross to the others.)

Fluttershy: Every Nightmare Night, I shut myself in my cottage and refuse to come out until morning. (Close-up.) But it’s just like when I was afraid to sing in front of anypony. If I hadn’t given it a try, I never would have found out how much I enjoy it. (Zoom out to frame Applejack.)

Applejack: And we’d have missed out on how great you sound.

(A reference to “Filli Vanilli.” The farmer’s words bring a blush to the yellow cheeks.)

Rarity: (from o.s.) Fluttershy with us on Nightmare Night? (Cut to her.) Why, that’s positively the most wonderful news I’ve heard in ages! (Pinkie zips over to Fluttershy.)

Pinkie: (hopping around, with growing enthusiasm) You could get dressed up in a costume with us and play Nightmare Night games with us and eat candy apples with us? (Applejack whips across and throws a foreleg around Pinkie’s shoulders.)

Applejack: Don’t forget the best part—goin’ through my family’s corn maze!

(The pink and orange-tan faces bust out in big squeaky grins, but the yellow one is absolutely flummoxed.)

Fluttershy: Oh, right. The maze.

Applejack: Uh… (crossing to Fluttershy, touching her shoulder) …o-only if you’re up for it.  (Close-up; she backs off and Fluttershy forces a smile.)

Fluttershy: Oh, I am. I am ready to take on Nightmare Night.

(A round of cheers from the o.s. others sends her diving to the floor; cut to them. Once their jubilation fades out, her soft whimper floats across and the camera zooms out to frame her huddled on the floor. She comes out of it with a weak laugh and looks back toward them.)

Fluttershy: Just practicing.

(A grin and another laugh fail to reassure the gang. Fade to black.)

Act Two

(Opening shot: fade in to a tree bough liberally hung with toilet paper. Rolls are tossed back and forth, after which the camera cuts to a long shot of the tree. It stands next to the Carousel Boutique, and the laughing Cutie Mark Crusaders are the perpetrators. They gallop off—Apple Bloom as a platypus, Scootaloo as a Wonderbolt, Sweetie Belle as a French noble-pony complete with tall powdered wig.)

(Cut to an extreme close-up of a rack of costumes inside. Rarity’s magic parts them to give a head-on shot of her and Fluttershy in the ground-floor showroom. The unicorn has donned a long blue-violet skirt decorated with green seashells and held in placed by sashes tied across her chest. A seashell clip is fixed to her mane above one eye, and small, pale yellow spangles have been sprinkled into her mane. Outfits are slid across, one by one, as she names them.)

Rarity: Mummy?…No…Headless pony?…No…Vampire fruit bat?…Ugh, definitely no.

(The “mummy” outfit is a mass of bandages with a gold neck piece. The “headless pony” costume is a short, ragged cloak tied with a piece of rope. “Vampire fruit bat” features a sleeveless, dark gray dress whose skirt is decorated in a cobweb pattern, as well as fake ears and wings. With no more ideas forthcoming, Rarity magically slides the entire rack away.)

Rarity: You see, Fluttershy—

(Longer shot of the two mares. Now her blue-violet seashell foreleg shoes are seen, as is the fact that her skirt has a scaly pattern and tapers/shades down into a long, blue-green fishtail. It has blue-violet fins that drag the ground, completing her outfit—a mermaid.)

Rarity: —the beauty of Nightmare Night is that you don’t have to dress up as something scary.

(She gently pokes Fluttershy’s nose on “don’t,” then turns to summon another rack—inadvertently slapping the pegasus in the face with her fishtail. Extreme close-up of the outfits; an ornate gown in shades of light blue is selected and floated off.)

Rarity: (from o.s.) Ooh, yes! (She hovers it in front of Fluttershy.) This one will look gorgeous on you. Period costumes are all the rage this year. (Uneasy reaction.) What? No good?

Fluttershy: What if we encounter something terrifying and need to get away quickly? All those layers could slow me down, or worse, make me trip!

Rarity: Huh…I never…considered that. (turning to rack, floating gown away) Never fear.

(The pivot leads to a second fishtail slap, but she does not notice while humming to herself a bit. The blue outfit gets hung up and she rustles behind the rack before inspiration strikes.)

Rarity: Ohhh! (Her magic picks out a new one.) Now this is a real stunner.

(“This” is floated off the rack: a simple, sleeveless dark dress and a blue eye mask decorated with small gems and long multicolored plumes, with an extra one above each eye trimmed to a wing shape.)

Rarity: I call it “Masquerade”! (She maneuvers the pieces down to Fluttershy.) Just a simple black dress underneath— (Close-up of the yellow face; the mask hovers down to it and she continues o.s.) —but with this ornately decorated mask!

Fluttershy: (unsettled) A mask? (She pushes it away.)

Rarity: No?

Fluttershy: They can just be so difficult to see out of. (Rarity brings it to her own eyes.)

Rarity: Yes, but this one has eye holes.

Fluttershy: W-What about being able to see what’s to the left or right of me? (Brief pause.)

Rarity: (floating mask off) I suppose your vision would be somewhat obscured. (Send it away.) It’s your first Nightmare Night out and about, and we do want you to be comfortable.

Fluttershy: (taking hold of dress) What if I just wear the dress? (She flips it onto her back and heads for the fitting rooms.)

Rarity: (caught off guard) Oh…sure, dear. That’s…fine. (to herself) It’s so plain, it’s frightening!

(The sound of the opening front door draws her eyes away, and the quiet clop of approaching hooves prefaces two of them stepping partly into view. One belongs to Twilight and is clad in a gold bracelet and hung with a loose cloth; the other, booted, hovers just off the ground and is Rainbow’s.)

Rarity: (beaming) Oh, my!

(Cut to a slow pan across the rest of her friends. Pinkie: sparkly, light blue tank top; violet/light-blue shorts, hind-leg socks, and headband; violet lightning bolt framing one eye; white roller skates with violet bows on all four hooves; mane gathered into two huge puffs on the sides of her head. Twilight: gold armor similar to that worn by the Royal Guard stallions, with a red helmet crest; bracelet on one foreleg; hock guards on both hind legs; white cravat tucked into the armor, free end hanging down the bracelet-clad leg; white/gold pteruges—see “For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils” for full description—covering her midsection. Rainbow: white astronaut jumpsuit with an integrated skintight cap that covers her mane and ears; light green boots on all hooves; transparent domed helmet. Applejack: full-body lion costume that leaves only her face, forelock, and tail exposed; fake nose/whiskers/ear covers; tail braided, no hat.)

        

Rarity: (from o.s.) Look at all of you! My costumes fit you to a T!

Applejack: Hoo-wee! We’re gonna have the best time!

(The squeak of the fitting room door cuts in; zoom out slightly to put Fluttershy’s chin and the end of her mane in the fore as all five look toward her, registering surprise. Rainbow’s voice reverberates slightly due to her helmet and will do so whenever she is wearing it throughout the remainder of this episode.)

Rainbow: Hey, Fluttershy, where’s your costume?

(Cut to the timid pegasus, who has put on the Masquerade costume dress.)

Fluttershy: I’m wearing it.

(Pinkie scratches her chin, thinking a second, then gasps as a brainstorm hits.)

Pinkie: I get it! (rolling past her) You’re a robber escaping into the night! (Head shake; she returns, balancing on one hind leg.) You’re a ninja escaping into the night! (Head shake; she rolls up to point-blank range on all fours.) You’re black licorice escaping into the night!

Fluttershy: Close. (pushing gently; Pinkie rolls backward o.s.) I’m going to a masquerade ball—without the mask.

(She smiles behind her hoof as the nut coasts back and trips on Rarity’s fishtail, coming down hard on her back. After a rather uncomfortable silence, Twilight forces a smile onto her face.)

Twilight: Ohhhh! (nudging Rainbow) That’s great! Isn’t it great?

(After Pinkie stand again, she, Applejack, and Rainbow speak up; the next three lines overlap.)

Applejack: Uh…great costume!

Pinkie: So creative!

Rainbow: Oh…yeah!

(Fluttershy allows herself a pleased little smile. Dissolve to a close-up of a crudely drawn picture of Nightmare Moon, horn missing and tongue hanging out. A couple of small black horns have been attached to her billowing mane in random spots, and another floats into view under Rarity’s control and sticks itself onto the neck. A zoom out shows this game—a Nightmare Night version of Pin the Tail on the Pony—stuck to a wall on the ground floor of Sugarcube Corner, with another horn affixed to the dark foe’s tail. Rarity magically removes the blindfold that covers her eyes, having just taken her turn, and walks back toward the group. Pinkie finishes tying the cloth over Rainbow’s eyes, the latter having removed her helmet.)

Pinkie: I figured I’d save the really scary games for next year when Fluttershy’s more used to it.

(Close-up of Fluttershy on the second half of this line; she blushes and lets her ears droop in embarrassment. Zoom out as Twilight gives her shoulder a reassuring pat; next Pinkie grabs hold of Rainbow’s rump and heaves hard enough to set her spinning in place as a varicolored blur. Cut to a slow pan across the other five.)

Other five:                 ’Round and ’round and ’round you go.

                        Where you stop, nopony knows!

Pinkie: Okay… (A hoof stops Rainbow.) …go!

(Seemingly unaffected by this attempt to wreck her sense of direction, the blue flyer flips and leaps and whirls her way toward the drawing. The paper horn in her teeth gets stuck onto the end of its nose, closer to the correct spot than any of the other tries.)

Rainbow: Hah! (She pulls off the blindfold and picks up her helmet.) Good luck beating that, Fluttershy!

(Plunk it back on her head. The next player up seems more than a little reluctant.)

Fluttershy: Well…um…it’s just that if I’m blindfolded and somepony were to leap out in front of me, I’d never have the chance to defend myself.

(All the levity goes out of the room in an instant, but Rarity tries to bring it back with a humoring smile. In the process, though, she inadvertently nudges Pinkie hard enough to send her rolling out of view.)

Rarity: That’s fine, darling. (A crash marks meeting of mare and wall.) You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.

Twilight: (touching Fluttershy’s shoulder) We’re just glad you’re here.

Pinkie: (rolling past, basket of apples on back) We don’t have to finish that game. (now o.s.) I have another one I know you’ll love. (Cut to her, lifting the cargo on one front hoof.) Bobbing for apples!

(Zoom out; a quick swivel brings her to a large tub of water on the floor, and she dumps the apples in and tosses the basket aside. Close-up of Fluttershy, whose hard swallow broadcasts her continuing unease.)

Twilight: (from o.s.) Fluttershy… (Zoom out to frame both.) …what’s wrong?

Fluttershy: It’s just that…um… (Close-up of the floating fruit; she leans into view, reflected in the water.) …what happens if when my head is deep down in the water, some kind of scary monster appears?  How would I even hear to know I was under attack?

(Pinkie is stunned into silence for a moment, but comes out of it with a huge smile.)

Pinkie: (pushing on tub, sending herself backward) Time for candy!

Fluttershy: It is?

(Cut to a display case; Pinkie pops up behind it and spreads out five paper bags, each decorated with a rough drawing of one of the other mares.)

Pinkie: I made candy bags. (Close-up of them, panning slowly along the row and framing her standing behind.) Each bag has been made with each of you in mind, complete with each of your favorite candies.

(All of the others save Fluttershy walk/fly over to the spread.)

Rainbow: (laughing) Awesome!

(They take their own bags; only now does Fluttershy ease up to hers in close-up, cringing back as Pinkie pushes it closer.)

Pinkie: Here, take it, take it! What are you waiting for?

Fluttershy: Well, it’s just…

(Cut to inside the bag, the camera pointing straight up through the sweets as the worried blue-green eyes peek in.)

Fluttershy: …what if when I’m eating one of these chewy taffies, my mouth becomes glued shut— (The counter again.) —and I can’t scream for help?

(Her nervous little grin is answered by Pinkie wordlessly taking the bag off the counter and putting it away. Cut to the other four, all staring in hopeless confusion; all but Twilight have stopped mid-chew, and Applejack’s cheeks are speckled with crumbs. Rainbow has dumped her bag into her helmet—which she is still wearing—and stuck the empty onto the curved transparent surface. It falls off as Twilight levitates hers away; back to Fluttershy.)

Fluttershy: Oh, goodness! We’ve only just started to celebrate Nightmare Night together, and I’m already taking all the fun out of it, aren’t I?

(Cut to frame all six; she walks away in a funk as Pinkie rolls out from behind the counter. Rainbow has emptied her helmet, Applejack’s face is clean, and these two and Rarity have swallowed their mouthfuls.)

Pinkie: You’re not taking out all the fun. (Close-up of Rainbow.)

Rainbow: (rolling eyes) Just, like, ninety per—

(A magically thrown piece of candy bounces off the helmet, propelled with some force, and cuts her off. Zoom out to frame Twilight as the culprit, sending a dirty look up for good measure.)

Rainbow: (chastened) Some of it.

Fluttershy: (from o.s.) I really want to do this. (Cut to her at the door; its bottom half swings shut.) But…there’s just so many things that terrify me about tonight. I couldn’t possibly predict what might upset me.

(Twilight considers the problem very carefully, stroking her chin, and comes up with a very bright idea.)

Twilight: Unless…you were the one doing the scaring!

Rainbow: Her? Scaring us? 

(The very thought sends her into a gale of derisive laughter, which in turn earns her a quartet of very nasty looks and a hurt one. She cuts herself off upon seeing these reactions.)

Rainbow: Oh. You’re being serious.

Twilight: (to Fluttershy) The thing you hate is being scared. (coaxingly; close-up of the pair) But if you’re the one doing the scaring, then…

Fluttershy: (catching on) …then I can help you all have fun, and I can still be a part of Nightmare Night!

Twilight: So, you like that idea?

Fluttershy: I think I do! And I don’t want to get ahead of myself— (Soft gasp.) —but I think I have the perfect idea for how I’m gonna do it.

Pinkie: (from o.s.) Really? (Cut to her and the others; she squeals with delight.) This is so exciting!

Fluttershy: (ominously, backing out the now-open door) Meet me at my cottage in an hour.

(As soon as she is completely out of view, she pokes her head back in.)

Fluttershy: (giddily) Oh, I’m excited to see everypony soon!

(Duck away again, whereupon the other five trade smiles and grins. Dissolve to the upper reaches of a stand of trees and tilt down to frame Fluttershy’s cottage, all its lights out. The five invitees are on their way up the front walk; cut to just inside the front door. A knock is heard through the boards, and it creaks open to give a head-on view of the group, looking ahead with some degree of befuddlement. A cut to their perspective frames a large round table set with six chairs, a teacup and saucer at all but one of them and a sugar bowl, and a layer of mist swirling around the floor in the darkened living room.)

*** All lines marked with one asterisk (*) are spoken from o.s. in a spooky tone with a bit of reverberation. ***

* Fluttershy: Welcome to Fluttershy’s Tea Party.

Rainbow: (to Twilight) Did she just say “Tea Party”?

Twilight: (smiling uncertainly) It sounds like it’s a scary tea party?

(To which the pegasus just gives a disgusted sidelong glance and sighs. The five enter.)

* Fluttershy: Have a seat. (They do so; slow pan across the table.) Don’t be scared of what awaits you. (A round of smiles.) Go on. Pass the sugar.

(Applejack and Rarity both reach toward the sugar bowl, which rests between their places; close-up of this as the unicorn’s magic takes hold and passes it so Applejack can get it in her front “paws.”)

* Fluttershy: Oh, no! There is none! (Grimacing slightly, Applejack inverts the bowl and shakes—empty.) You’re a terrible host! Rarity, put your coat on.

Rarity: Why would I do that?

* Fluttershy: You need to cover up, because no one has complimented your dress! (Slightly disgusted eye roll.) Pinkie Pie, look to your left— (She does so; that next seat is empty.) —and ask your best friend to pass the cucumber sandwiches.

Pinkie: Huh? I-I can’t. There’s nopony there.

* Fluttershy: That’s right— (Close-up of the chair; zoom in slowly.) —because she didn’t care to show up.

Pinkie: (really confused) What?

* Fluttershy: A friend who didn’t come through. That must scare you to the core. (Brief pause.) Quick! Everypony, look behind you!

(Zoom out slightly from the table as the edges of a couple of squarish items drop into view. All five mares stare toward these, really perplexed.)

Rainbow: Uh…what are those?

(A close-up shows them to be five roughly cut wooden panels, each displaying a caricature of a mare in black ink. They hang from strings and clack faintly together as they swing.)

* Fluttershy: They’re unplanned guests. Your worst nightmare! (Back to the group.) You don’t have enough food for them!

(A wind-up cat doll bounces off the table, just in front of a heavily uninterested Rainbow. Twilight leans in for a look, chewing her lower lip.)

* Fluttershy: Oh, no! (Close-up of the jittering plaything, now on the floor.) There’s a tiny kitten that needs a home! (Cut to Applejack and Rarity.) But you are over-scheduled right now. You don’t have time to help!

(There follows a most awkward silence from the quintet.)

* Fluttershy: I said, you don’t have time to help!

(On the end of this line, they all look off to the same side and the camera zooms out to frame a nearby couch—and Fluttershy half-huddled down behind it. Her voice loses its reverberating tone once she is fully in view; once she finishes speaking, she pulls her head down behind the furniture. In close-up, she speaks into a tin can on a string, generating the reverb effect of her previous narration.)

Fluttershy: This should appear to scare you!

(Her mouth turns up into a little grin, lower lip caught in teeth—“this is gonna be good”—but she is met by a complete lack of bedlam, or any other sound for that matter. Standing up, she peeks over the couch and finds her five friends throwing her a collective funny look. Close-up of them, panning slowly across the table.)

Fluttershy: (from o.s.) Why don’t you look terrified? You showed up to a party and everypony was extremely disappointed in you! (Back to her.) Can you imagine anything more upsetting? (Cringe.)

Rarity: (from o.s.) It was a really good try, darling. (Cut to her.) But the scares at Nightmare Night are of an entirely different nature. (Twilight crosses to Fluttershy.)

Twilight: It was really creative, though. I-I never would’ve thought of, uh… (Zoom out; she gestures at the room as a whole.) …all this!

(One of the suspended panels comes loose from its string and thuds to the floor.)

Fluttershy: (crushed) Oh…I’m just not cut out for this. (waving others away) Just go on without me. (Cut to Applejack and Rarity.)

Rarity: Oh, no! We couldn’t possibly!

Fluttershy: (from o.s.) You have to. (Back to her.) This is the night you look forward to all year.

Pinkie: We could…stay here? (Surprised/irritated look from Rainbow.)

Fluttershy: (passing table) It’s okay. I really want you all to have fun. (now at door; others approach) This is how I spend every Nightmare Night (Push it open; they exit.) Please, go. I’ll be fine. (Applejack pushes Pinkie slowly out.)

Pinkie: (to Applejack) Eh, it’s funny. I actually thought she had an idea for something really scary for a second there. (Just outside.)

Applejack: She definitely tried her hardest.

(The door swings shut as the faux lion and the skating maniac make their way down the walk. Cut to Fluttershy, letting her head droop.)

Fluttershy: I did try my hardest.

(A rapping against wood startles her out of this bout of self-pity, but a zoom out reveals that the door is not the source. Rather, it is Angel, standing on a table with front paws on hips and thumping a hind foot on the surface. Close-up of the furball; he crosses his forelegs and turns his nose up disdainfully.)

Fluttershy: (from o.s.) Or…maybe not. (crossing to him) I suppose I could have gone with something a bit scarier. (Big nod; she gathers herself.) You’re right! I’ve been taking baby steps. I think it’s time for grown-up ones!

(A confident grin, which turns into a worried look and then a hopeful smile.)

Fluttershy: (turning to Angel) I…don’t suppose you have any ideas how I could do that?

(He turns away from her and toward the camera, rubbing his front paws together with a savage grin and a soft growl—something cooking under those long white ears. Fade to black.)

Act Three

(Opening shot: fade in to a tract of land on the grounds of Sweet Apple Acres, shrouded in wispy fog. Lemon Hearts walks into view, costumed as a mouse—ears, long nose/teeth, tail, gray paw-shoes—in the company of an earth pony stallion wearing a ninja’s black hood. Pan away from these two and across the fields; the motion brings the five tea party guests and Spike into view on the start of the next line. They are heading toward the entrance to a maze constructed from tall, trimmed rows of cornstalks; glowing ghosts, skulls, and jack-o’-lanterns are set up on poles within and without, and a gnarled, bedecked tree stands at the center. Cobwebs and strings of lights mark the front wall, a banner decorated with a silhouette of Nightmare’s head is strung over the entrance, and a few jack-o’-lanterns rest on hay bales outside.)

Applejack:  Everypony’s linin’ up for the corn maze, y’all. Let’s go! (Close-up of them; Spike has finished his costume’s second head.)

Spike: Aw, yeah! I can’t believe we’re finally doing this!

(The camera zooms out slightly to frame the edge of a dark cloak covering a figure at the entrance. All stop short, grimacing/gaping in fear, and the shape throws back its hood to reveal a brown horse-head mask with a white blaze between the eyes. The wrinkled green hoof pushing the cloth away marks the wearer as Granny, who lets off a lively neigh that elicits a scream from all six throats. Their panic passes within seconds, though, and they break into laughter as the old mare gestures for them to head into the maze. Cut to just inside.)

Rainbow: It’s a good thing Fluttershy isn’t here, because she would never be able to handle this.

(Lemon and her companion start in behind the group. Cut to an overhead shot of the maze, a thin scream ringing out in the distance, and pan to bring the group into view as they walk along one path. Terrified squeals drift on the wind as the camera cuts to a close-up of them; as they pass a niche, the barely-visible figure of a mummy steps out from it and directs a green-eyed glare after them. Its move into full light freezes them in place and brings up a six-part gasp; enough hide is seen through the leg wrappings to mark the pony as Macintosh, and a close-up confirms both his identity and his use of Rarity’s mummy costume.)

Macintosh: (rearing up, reaching toward them) Booooo! (smiling) Yup.

(The ensuing round of laughs takes the wind out of his sails; cut to frame the entire face-off. The five mares and the dragon turn to continue their journey as he skulks back to his hiding place. In close-up, Rarity—now walking point—and Twilight let their eyes bug out at the sound of crackling and breaking from ground level.)

Rarity: What…is…that…sound?

(Both look back the way they came; pan to frame an equally unsettled Applejack and Pinkie.)

Pinkie: (looking down) It looks like…

(Close-up of this pair’s hooves, around which are scattered white objects that look like…)

Pinkie: (from o.s, lifting a front hoof) …bones!

(Silhouette view of all six; they voice a shrill cry of panic in unison, and Rainbow drops into a low hover to inspect the debris. Close-up of her, framed normally.)

Rainbow: (contemptuously) Looks like a bunch of dried sticks painted white to me.

Applejack: (from o.s., softly, annoyed) Hey. (Zoom out to frame her.) Try to keep up the illusion, would you?

(She gets her hooves moving to catch up with the rest of the gang, and the unconvinced pegasus turns to wing it after her. Rarity and Spike, now well ahead of the others, find the light slowly fading away around them until only their eyes can be seen against the total blackness. The unicorn conjures a light at the tip of her horn, illuminating herself, Spike, Applejack—and the dozens of eyeballs floating motionless around them. All three give a startled yell, after which the camera cuts to just outside the lightless area’s exit; the effect was achieved by cornstalks bent overhead to block the sky. All but Pinkie fly/gallop out into the open, laughing heartily, and the pink party pony rolls out last with a whoop of mixed fear and enjoyment. Rarity’s horn light is now out. A small black shape whisks across the passage behind them; Applejack cries out and stops moving; zoom in quickly on her as she looks back the way they came.)

Applejack: What was that?

(Cut briefly to her perspective of a perfectly empty and harmless stretch of the path, then to a visibly unnerved Spike as Rarity passes behind him.)

Spike: (to the o.s. Applejack) Don’t you know? (Zoom out to frame the others all slowly grouping up.)

Applejack: Uh, of…of course I do. I-It was a…

(She never gets to finish the sentence, as a couple of sepulchral moans assert themselves in time with the bottom edges of two green-glowing ghosts’ sheets drifting into view. Cut to a close-up of these apparitions, soon joined by a third, then back to the spooked six. All twelve eyes bug out toward this new source of scares before their owners clear out at top speed. They take a corner at a full, yelling gallop/fly/run, but reverse course once the ghosts give chase. Around another turn they go; now Rarity finds herself at the back of the pack and the fishtail of her costume flips forward so that one rear hoof comes down squarely on it. She pitches forward onto her face, drawing a look from the fleeing Spike.)

Rarity: Fluttershy had a point with the layers on the dress!

(As the ghosts close in, he runs back to help her up and both of them get moving again. Applejack leads the charge toward the maze’s central tree, but suddenly drops out of sight with a short yelp; a longer shot reveals that she has gone down a hole among the roots. Twilight skids and Rainbow flaps to a stop at the edge, but Pinkie’s forward momentum knocks the Princess into the depths. When the rolling mare jumps up and grabs hold of Rainbow, the added weight is too much for the pegasus to support and both drop into the hole with a yell. Now Rarity and Spike barrel toward it, looking back instead of forward; cut to just below the surface as they both plunge screaming out of sight. Zoom out to a collective pained groan, framing the hapless bunch sprawled out in a natural underground chamber whose walls and ceiling are studded with the tree’s twisted roots. As they slowly come to their senses and begin to stand, Rarity is first to get her tongue back in gear and gasps.)

Rarity: (with growing panic) What is this? Is it a tunnel? Where does it lead?

(Overhead view of them, now upright and framed within the circle of light cast by the opening. It begins to shrink into a narrowing crescent, accompanied by the grinding of stone on stone, and the screen fades to black as a cover is fitted into place. This time, it is Twilight who gets a light going so she can turn to an Applejack who is just as freaked out as she is.)

Twilight: Which way are we supposed to go now?

Applejack: Uh…I-I don’t know! I don’t know what’s goin’ on!

(Across the way, Rainbow is aloft and straining to push the blocking stone; no good.)

Rainbow: What do you mean? Didn’t you help plan this?

(The earth pony has no response but to back a couple of steps away and cut her eyes toward the sound of a soft creak. Cut to a long shot of the source: a hunched silhouette seated in a rocking chair, under the glow of a natural phosphorescence.)

Applejack: (from o.s., relieved) Whoo! There’s Granny Smith!

(Zoom out to frame her on the end of this line.)

Applejack: (smiling as best she can) Not that I was ever scared, ’cause I-I wasn’t. (walking toward rocker) I’m a pretty good actress when I want to be. (touching figure’s shoulder) Granny?

(The head contour matches the white coloration and bun of the old mare’s mane—now free of the horse-head mask she used while ushering the group into the maze— and a close-up picks out the edge of the apple-patterned shawl around the neck and shoulders. It also picks out the head, which completely falls off the neck and rolls to a stop at Applejack’s hooves—a pale green skull with empty eye sockets. Throwing decorum and dignity to the wind, she gallops full tilt past the remaining five with a yell of terror; they stare toward the macabre spectacle, then follow suit in voice and speed. Both Twilight and Rarity have their horns lit now.)

(Cut to another passage as they fly/sprint into it from around a corner. The two horned mares have extinguished their lights, and Pinkie rockets ahead of the bunch to wipe out o.s. Spike hurries up to…)

Spike: Applejack! Didn’t you know about any of this?

Applejack: (pacing) All right. I got to admit, I didn’t know about any of this, but… (Stop; smile as an idea hits.) …maybe they’re just tryin’ to make it interestin’ for me too. I’m sure Granny Smith or Big Mac is behind this.

(She crosses one foreleg over the other, proud at having come up with a plausible explanation so quickly. However, the voice of Granny shakes her out of that self-satisfaction.)

Granny: (from above, muffled, spooky voice) Are those peeled grapes— (Tilt up through the earth.) —or eyeballs starin’ at you from beyond the grave?

(As the camera moves, her voice gradually becomes clearer until she comes into view—without the mask, sitting on her haunches within the eyeball chamber, holding a lantern, and addressing the Crusaders. None of them appear to be particularly scared by the décor, the description, or the mad cackle that follows it. Here comes Macintosh in his mummy costume, shambling along on his hind legs.)

Macintosh: Ee-yup.

(Now the three fillies smile, scream in fake terror, and gallop away; the stallion drops back to all fours and trades a smile with his grandmother. Cut to a close-up of the middle grandchild, staring up apprehensively at the ceiling of the underground chamber; the green eyes shrink to fear-stricken points as the teeth chatter—this has gone very far off the rails indeed.)

Applejack: That’s what we were supposed to do! (Sweat runs down her face.) I don’t know why we’re down here! This is really scarin’ me now!

(Zoom out slightly as Pinkie rests her own head against the lion-maned one and lets her own choppers do the cha-cha. The chamber begins to shake from a series of heavy footfalls, and fragments of rock rain down from the ceiling as the mares and dragon gather in to face whatever might be approaching. It emerges from around a corner as a green-skinned reptilian behemoth, walking on its hind legs and reaching out with the webbed hands on its forelegs as the needle-toothed mouth slavers copiously. The body tapers down into a tiny fishtail at the rump. Stopping to tower over them, it voices a guttural roar that sets the whole area vibrating anew.)

Pinkie: How did that get down here?!?

(The thing lets go with a second roar, this one intense enough to shake the entire area.)

Rainbow: RUUUUUNNNNN!!

(All but Pinkie do exactly that, but her wheeled hooves scrabble uselessly for a purchase against the dirt until Spike races back to grab her tail and tow her away. These two easily take the lead in the get-the-heck-out-of-Dodge wind sprint, the camera panning to follow and bringing a large spiderweb into view dead ahead. They hit it and stick fast; as the camera moves past, the grunts of other ponies running headlong into it are heard as well. Cut to an extreme close-up of Pinkie, the fishtail from Rarity’s costume covering her eyes.)

Pinkie: (sobbing, flailing) I can’t see! (Zoom out quickly to frame all six caught up in the mesh and straining futilely against it.)

Rainbow: I can barely move! It’s like glue!

(The beast’s growl wafts toward the trapped ponies and dragon, and here it comes in a flat run. As it closes in far too fast for their comfort, Twilight kick-starts her horn and teleports the entire group to a spot on the ground several feet ahead of the web. It runs into this on the opposite side, prompting them to bug out as fast as legs and wings can take them, and rips a hole in the center to shove its head through. Cut to the group’s perspective of an opening that gives into the night sky, then to just outside—a cave entrance at the edge of a small cliff. As they emerge, the camera zooms out to show that they are now overlooking the maze.)

(The six step warily to the edge, but freeze at the sound of mad laughter drifting down from above. All eyes turn in its direction, and the camera pans/tilts up to a bat-like silhouette hanging from a bare tree branch and backlit by the moon. The wings unfurl, the shape lets go and swoops down, and enough ambient light strikes it to leave no doubt as to the identity—it is Fluttershy. She dives on them with a vicious hiss, missing by the barest margin due to their last-second duck, and pulls up into a clear patch of air to glare down at them. She has changed into the cobweb-decorated dress from Rarity’s “vampire fruit bat” costume, but the rest of her appearance matches the pony/bat form she assumed in “Bats!” Another hissing dive allows her to rip the fake head from Spike’s costume; as the others stare in mute horror at this attack, Fluttershy gains a bit of altitude and throws the head aside. She regards them coldly from the air, scaring them into a shuddering back-pedal toward the cliff’s edge—and then the savage red eyes widen in concern, seeing her friends well and truly spooked out of their wits. Despite her fearsome appearance, she speaks in her usual sweet tone.)

Fluttershy: Oh, my!

(She slowly descends to a soft landing and steps toward them. Now her wings and bat ears can be seen to be a different color from the rest of her coat—the rest of the costume, covering her real anatomy.)

Fluttershy: I’m so, so sorry! Can you ever forgive me? (Rainbow stands up, then Applejack, both completely floored.)

Applejack: Fluttershy?

Rainbow: It was you the whole time? (Twilight and Spike join them.)

Twilight: I can’t believe it!

Rarity: (smiling) That…was… (Pinkie pops up alongside.)

Pinkie: …THE BEST THING EVERRR!! (Big squeaky grin; Rainbow flies over to Fluttershy.)

Rainbow: (circling briefly around her in a blur) It was way more terrifying than the most terrifying thing I could’ve thought of!

Applejack: Heh. (Rainbow lands next to her.) You out-nightmare’d the scariest part of the corn maze!

Twilight: How did you do all this?

Fluttershy: (pacing toward cave) After you left, I realized that I wasn’t ready to give up on Nightmare Night. So I asked Granny Smith if I could try to make the maze even scarier for my friends.

Rainbow: You came up with all of this?

Fluttershy: (beckoning) I had some help.

(The three ghosts respond to her gesture and shuck their coverings, revealing birds underneath. One of the sheets comes down on Fluttershy’s face, but she pulls it away.)

Fluttershy: Angel was the scary figure that kept scurrying after you in the maze.

(On the end of this, the camera tilts up to the top of her head and the rabbit pops up here, wearing a black vampire cape with red inner lining. He throws part of it over his face, striking the best Dracula pose he can given his size, then smiles and bows. Tilt back down to Fluttershy’s face; now Fuzzylegs, the spider that closed one of her cottage windows in the prologue, scuttles out from behind her head.)

Fluttershy: Fuzzylegs made the sticky wall that made it difficult for you to see and move.

(The arachnid salutes and Applejack cheerfully returns the gesture.)

Fluttershy: And of course, Harry was the especially scary monster.

(During this line, the reptilian creature steps out from the cave, a patch of web strands adhering to the face. It proceeds to pull the entire head off, revealing the face of the bear that assisted with Fluttershy’s Nightmare Night emergency prep work. Harry smiles and grunts smugly down at the bunch; close-up of Twilight and Applejack.)

Twilight: Wow! That was inspired! (Zoom out to frame all six maze runners.)

Pinkie: You have to do this every year! (General consent from the others. Angel and Fuzzylegs have climbed off Fluttershy’s head.)

Fluttershy: We…could celebrate Nightmare Night together every year. (Her smile fades.) But…

(She strips off the costume ears and extracts a set of fake fangs from her mouth.)

Fluttershy: …the truth is, I really don’t want to.

(Pinkie has now fluffed her tail up into a huge magenta ball and is sitting on it.)

Pinkie: You don’t?

Rarity: But you’ve done it! (Close-up of her and Spike.) You’ve found a way that we can all have a fabulous time together.

Fluttershy: (from o.s.) Yes… (Back to her, removing the fake wings.) …but I’ve also realized something. You all may love Nightmare Night, and I may be good at being a part of it… (The others; slow pan as she continues o.s.) …but it’s no fun for me to see my friends feel like they’re in danger, even if I know they’re not.

(Longer shot, framing the entire tableau and panning slowly across.)

Fluttershy: I really don’t like it. It’s just not my cup of tea.

(Close-up. Pinkie leans in close, turning on a flashlight and shining it up under the pegasus’ chin.)

Pinkie: (ominously) Spoooooky tea?

Fluttershy: (covering light with a hoof, pushing her back gently) No, just regular tea. We do lots of fun things together, but I’m afraid this just isn’t gonna be one of them. Actually, I’m not afraid. I’m perfectly fine with it. (The others gather close around her.)

Twilight: Then we are too.

(Harry sweeps them up all up in a colossal hug; Angel perches on his head, the birds hover nearby, and Fuzzylegs stays on the ground. Tilt up to the moon hanging low and bright, just in time for a swarm of chittering bats to fly past it, The sky around the lunar orb dissolves to show a different pattern of stars, and the camera tilts down to the exterior of Fluttershy’s cottage, which shows a light in one upper-story window. Cut to her bedroom, where a sliver of light shines from underneath the bed and Harry is hunched down to put his head in, having changed out of his scaly costume. Zoom in slowly.)

Fluttershy: (from under bed, sighing contentedly) I don’t know why I doubted myself for a second.

(Cut to her, sitting comfortably on her haunches atop a cushion. Angel and the birds sit among the varied provisions, a few of the latter perched on Harry’s head, and she is holding a book. The lantern she had placed down here is out of sight, but doing its job properly. She has shed her dress, and her coat, mane, and eyes have returned to their normal appearance and coloration.)

Fluttershy: Now this is what I call a perfect Nightmare Night.

(Fade to black.)


WHAT ABOUT DISCORD?

Written by Neal Dusedau

Produced by Devon Cody

Story editing by Meghan McCarthy

Consulting direction by Jayson Thiessen

Supervising direction by Jim Miller

Directed by Denny Lu

Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)

Prologue

(Opening shot: fade in to a close-up of the uppermost portion of a pile of books, with an empty shelf stretching behind them. During the following line, the camera zooms out slowly to frame it as one of three on the floor of the library within Twilight Sparkle’s castle, with Spike standing at its base and holding a book. The shelves have been completely cleared, and each pile stands as tall as the uppermost one.)

Spike: (groaning) Didn’t we just shelve all the books in the library a few months ago? (The one he holds is magically floated away.)

Twilight: (from o.s., perkily) Yes, but that was because we needed to. (Cut to her at one end.) This is just because I want to. (floating it and others onto a shelf; Spike walks over) I call it my “book-sort-cation.” Three uninterrupted days of reorganizing books. Can you think of anything more relaxing?

Spike: (counting off on fingers) Well, claw massages, back rubs, bubble baths… (More literature floats past; he deflates.) …you weren’t really looking for an answer, were you?

Twilight: I’ve even devised a better system for organizing them. (with growing glee) It decreases the amount of time it takes to find a book you’re looking for by nearly three-quarters of a second!

Spike: (dryly) Whoa. That much?

(Surprise replaces snark when her aura envelops him and pulls him in for a hug.)

Twilight: Look at them all.

(Long shot of the pair, seen from the opposite side of the room. A slow pan picks out the vast heaps of heavy reading that litter the floor, as well as a previously unseen feature of this library: the fact that the shelves run around its entire perimeter.)

Twilight: Why, there must be at least twenty thousand books to organize!

(The camera motion brings her trusty avian assistant Owlowiscious into view, perched on a high shelf. He turns his head toward the camera and lets off a soft, knowing hoot, after which the view cuts back to Twilight and Spike.)

Twilight: (floating him away) Best long weekend ever!

(The field dissipates to the sound of her excited gasp; he settles back to his feet, turning away with a grumpy, disappointed look.)

Twilight: I’m sure we can make some time for a claw massage and a back rub too.

Spike: (instantly perked up) Yes! Best long weekend ever!

(He grins broadly as the boss rolls her eyes with a little “oh, you” smile. Fade to black.)

OPENING THEME

Act One

(Opening shot: fade in to the sun shining bright in a tranquil daytime sky, the rays striking the star mounted on the pinnacle of Twilight’s castle. Tilt down to frame the front entrance in a long shot; one door begins to swing open, and a close-up shows Twilight emerging for a deep breath of outside air. She trots placidly down the steps, the camera zooming in to a close-up of Spike emerging behind her; he stops when a sunbeam swings onto him.)

Spike: (squinting, averting eyes) Whoa! (Close-up of the sun; he continues o.s.) That strange yellow orb in the sky!

(Back to him and Twilight, the latter slightly put out at his jape.)

Spike: What is that?

Twilight: (smiling) All right, all right, so it’s been a little while since we’ve seen the sun. (She walks off.)

Spike: A little while? (following) We’ve been in that library for three straight days!

Twilight: Yes, but they were three very productive days— (Close-up.) —even if you did take that two-hour claw massage break. (Tilt down to Spike.)

Spike: (needled) Hey! You promise a claw massage, I’m getting a claw massage.

Twilight: (laughing) It’s not like we missed anything.

(Two blazes of white light rip across the sky, leaving side-by-side contrails—one rainbow-striped, the other a most improbable plaid. Princess and dragon duck just in time to avoid getting their heads taken off by the low-flying projectiles, which wipe out o.s. and throw up clouds of dust that fill the screen. Once the view clears, the twin causes of the light show are clearly seen standing behind them. One, predictably, is Rainbow Dash, while the other is Discord on all fours. Both are grinning like idiots as Twilight and Spike come up off the dirt to glance back at them.)

Rainbow, Discord: (waving in unison) Hello, Twilight! Hi, Spike!

Twilight: (crossing to them, a bit rattled) Hi, Rainbow Dash. Good to see you, Discord. (Here comes Spike.)

Spike: Did you rehearse before you found us?

Rainbow, Discord: What makes you think we practiced?

Twilight: Come on, Rainbow Dash. What’s going on here?

(The blue speedster stifles a laugh behind a hoof, then lets it grow into a guffaw while hovering up to Discord’s head level.)

Rainbow: Sorry. (throwing a foreleg around his neck) Me and Discord are just messing around. (Laugh; nudge.) Like we do. (Cut to Twilight, really puzzled.)

Twilight: Since when?

Discord: (from o.s.) Oh, Twilight— (Close-up of his face.) —we simply had a momentous time together these past three days. You could say it was… (Pupils of eyes become slits; a forked tongue hisses out.) …hiss-s-s-terical!

(As he finishes speaking, the camera zooms out to show that he has shed his limbs and wings and elongated/coiled the rest of his body as a giant snake. The tuft of hair on his tail has even re-shaped itself as a rattlesnake’s rattle, which he shakes vigorously with a laugh.)

Rainbow: (laughing) Sneaky snake!

Discord: (laughing) Just s-s-snaking around!

(His forelimbs pop out in their normal places, causing part of his hide to tear away, and he peels it off himself and kicks it aside like a shed snakeskin, laughing all the while. The high-speed molt leaves him with his normal appearance.)

Rainbow: Good one, Discord! (She laughs as they trade a high five.)

Twilight: It is? (Rainbow hovers down to her.)

Rainbow: Kind of an inside joke from this weekend. You wouldn’t really get it unless you were there. (Back off.)

Twilight: (smiling weakly) Oh…okay.

Rainbow: Cool! Well, uh…catch you later, Twilight. (She rockets off in a multicolored blur.)

Discord: (chuckling, waving) Catch you later, Twilight.

(On this last word, the camera zooms in slightly and his eyes narrow to impart an unsettling overtone to his grin. He turns around, letting his hind legs piston against the ground so fast that they kick up enough dirt to completely bury Spike—but instead of racing off at several hundred miles per hour, he simply teleports away. The baby dragon’s head breaks upward through the mounded earth so that he and Twilight can exchange truly baffled looks.)

(Dissolve to them walking along a Ponyville street.)

Twilight: That was strange, right? Since when have Rainbow Dash and Discord had inside jokes?

Spike: (dryly) Since sometime in the last three days, I guess.

(He runs flat into her tail, not realizing until that moment that she has stopped.)

Twilight: Hey! Nopony made you join me on my book-sort-cation.

Spike: I’m joking, I’m joking!

(She starts off again and he follows. Cut to just inside the front door of the Carousel Boutique; it swings open to admit them, the bell above jingling to announce their arrival.)

Twilight: Rarity?

(She steps in. Cut to the unicorn in question, reading glasses perched on nose as she stitches up an outfit on a pony mannequin. Looking up with a happy gasp, she floats the spectacles away.)

Rarity: Twilight! (All three meet in the middle of the floor.) You’ve returned from your book-sorting sabbatical. (lifting Twilight’s chin) All that organizing has done wonders for your complexion.

Twilight: Thanks. It was very relaxing. (Spike rolls his eyes wearily.) And we were able to clear a shelf for those old-fashioned books you wanted to donate.

Rarity: Oh, pfft! They’re not old, darling, they’re vintage. (gesturing to one side) And they’re over there.

(Pan slightly in the indicated direction to frame a bag stuffed with books, resting on the showroom’s three-mirror platform, then cut to a close-up of it.)

Rarity: (from o.s., levitating it away) I’ve even included my favorites by former Canterlot designer to the stars…

(Back to her; she floats one volume out of the bag.)

Rarity: …Rococo Frou-Frou!

Spike: Oh, I love her! (She tucks it back in.)

Rarity: (slightly put out) Him. (The bag is set down in front of him.)

Spike: Uh… (Weak chuckle.) …both.

Discord: (from o.s.) Twilight!

(She and Spike turn to look back toward the door; pan quickly to the draconequus, entering the shop with Fluttershy.)

Discord: This makes twice I’m seeing you in one day. Aren’t I lucky!

Twilight: Weren’t you just with—

Fluttershy: Hi, Twilight! Hi, Spike! How was your book-sort-cation?

Twilight: It was good.

(The yellow pegasus smothers a giggle while tossing a glance back toward Discord.)

Fluttershy: “Orange” you glad you did it?

(She, Rarity, and Discord break into a round of laughs as the trickster crosses to the others.)

Rarity: “Orange” you glad…oh, Fluttershy, you’re a card! (Close-up of Fluttershy.)

Fluttershy: Oh, please. You’ll make me blush. (Zoom out; Discord leans toward her.)

Discord: You do seem to be turning a shade of…

(He straightens up with a gasp. Cut to an extreme close-up of Fluttershy’s face, now tinted bright orange with her mane in a lighter hue, and zoom out quickly on the next line. She has been transformed into this particular citrus fruit, with only her head protruding from the rind.)

Discord: …orange!

(The quick change brings a hearty laugh from Rarity, and Fluttershy joins in demurely as Twilight and Spike stare in total confusion. As soon as Discord plucks the stem away, the rind scores itself from top to bottom and peels to the floor, leaving Fluttershy exactly as she was. The fragment it tossed aside; cut to the winged unicorn and assistant.)

Rarity: (from o.s.) Oh, sorry, darling. (crossing to them) You see, we were at Sweet Apple Acres and, uh, uh…oh, how to explain?

Discord: (leaning down to them) Well, let me try and paint her a picture, dearest. (He backs up o.s.)

Spike: (sourly, under his breath) “Dearest”?

(Cut to Discord, standing under a beam of light in a darkened space and painting a picture of the Sweet Apple Acres main barn on an easel-supported canvas. He has donned a smock and is holding a palette, and he has grown a full head of bushy brown hair and a matching beard, his normal white beard protruding from the latter.)

Discord: (softly) You see, we were all at Sweet Apple Acres, and I ended up turning the trees into the most— (normal volume and playful tone) —oh, who am I kidding?

(On these last five words, the dark backdrop is yanked aside, giving way to the showroom, and he throws aside his brush/palette and sheds the smock and extra hair.)

Discord: (flicking easel away with tail) I simply can’t do it justice. (slyly, leaning to Twilight) You really had to be there.

Fluttershy: We would’ve invited you to come along too, but we didn’t want to interrupt your organizing. We know how important it is to you.

Discord: (curling behind Fluttershy, gathering her and Rarity in) And I’m sure it was much more important than the fun that we had. (Chuckle; cut to Twilight and Spike.)

Twilight: I appreciate that. (to Spike) Speaking of books, I should get these on the shelf.

(Another round of the sillies draws their attention. Cut to a point just above Discord’s head; here, several pieces of fruit are describing a slow right-to-left arc. They start out as apples on the upswing, but become oranges once they pass the peak. A tilt down shows that the joker has the produce going in a large circle, the oranges reverting to apples at the low point. Fluttershy and Rarity laugh as the camera zooms out to frame Twilight and Spike looking on from across the showroom floor. They trade a bewildered look at the display.)

(Dissolve to a close-up of a basket of oranges resting at the base of an outdoor produce stand.)

Twilight: (from o.s.) Hmmm.

(Zoom out on the start of the next line; she and Spike walk among the stands, he with the bag of Rarity’s books slung on his back.)

Twilight: Rainbow Dash bonding with Discord…Rarity finding something he did genuinely funny? Must have been some weekend.

Spike: (smugly) Somepony sorry she missed it?

Twilight: Of course not.

(Passing Sugarcube Corner, they stop short at the sound of mingled laughter from Applejack and Pinkie Pie. Both turn toward the building, and the camera cuts to just inside the front door, whose top half is open. The apple expert has sprawled helplessly on her belly, and the assistant baker topples down onto her back as Twilight and Spike get an eyeful from the step.)

Twilight: What’s got you two in hysterics?

(Once they calm down, Discord pops up from behind the display case, holding a cupcake which he proceeds to chomp down.)

Discord: Oh, we were just reminiscing about the best weekend ever!

Twilight: (whispering, to Spike) He’s everywhere today, isn’t he? (Applejack and Pinkie are now standing.)

Discord: Oh, now where was I? Ah, yes. (Twilight and Spike approach.) We had just finished our soup, and then Applejack said…

(A flash of magic turns his head into a snaggle-toothed copy of Applejack’s, hat and all, with his original eyes and brows and his own short dark fringe of mane running down behind the tousled blond forelock.)

Discord: (imitating Applejack badly) “Peanut butter hoof? Yuck! Not even with jelly!”

(This sets Applejack and Pinkie laughing all over again.)

Twilight: Uh, I don’t get it. (Close-up; Pinkie crosses to her, giggling.)

Pinkie: It was hilarious! I wish we’d taken a picture for you.

Discord: (from o.s., normal voice) Oh, well, this should do.

(Cut to an extreme close-up of his hind legs tap-dancing across the floor, each wedged into a full jar of peanut butter whose contents are slopping out. A quick zoom out shows that he has reverted his head back to normal, and he strikes a pose that brings fresh laughs from the two ponies who seem to be in on the gag. Cut to floor level, the camera pointing at the clueless pair through the jars.)

Twilight: (uncertainly) I guess that’s funny?

(Discord leans down into view to regard his own limbs; cut to frame all of him as he raises one and tries to pull the jar off .Peanut butter spills onto the floorboards.)

Discord: Well, seems this has become quite the sticky situation! (More laughs from Applejack and Pinkie.)

Pinkie: (between laughs) Sticky situation…

Applejack: (crossing to Twilight/Spike) Aw, shucks, Twilight. We haven’t even asked how your weekend went.

Twilight: It was fine. (Discord leans over the group and stares upside-down at her.)

Discord: (borderline baby talk) And yet you look so glum. (Closer; now right-side up.) Does somepony need a huggy-wuggy?

(He pulls her in with his lion paw on the end of this, then follows it up with a soothing coo and a couple of strokes along her forelock with his talons. These cause her horn to bend and spring back as if it were made of rubber. She is not amused, and she roughly nudges him aside.)

Twilight: I am not glum. (pushing him back) I’m glad. I’m glad you all had such a good time together. Having inside jokes can really create a lasting bond between friends. (Close-up of Discord.)

Discord: (eyes big and shining) I’m just sorry that all this bonding happened while you were holed up in your castle.

(A chuckle from the o.s. Applejack; cut to frame all five again. Discord has removed the jars.)

Applejack: Oh, don’t you worry about Twilight. (to her) Bet you were in hog heaven organizin’ all them books. (Brief pause.) Again. (Close-up of Twilight.)

Twilight: (smiling, but slightly strained) I’m sure I had just as much fun as the rest of you.

(Dissolve to a close-up of her, sitting grumpily on one of the seats in her castle’s throne room with her chin propped on a front hoof. The sound of crunching drifts across to her.)

Twilight: I can’t believe I missed out on all that bonding!

(Zoom out. She is on her own throne and Spike is sitting on his small one alongside, having put away the bag with Rarity’s books. A bowl of rubies is on the table in front of him. He swallows the mouthful he has been chewing. The central table is bare of its magical map.)

Spike: I knew it! You are jealous!

Twilight: (smiling) Spike, I’m the Princess of Friendship. (laughing a bit) I don’t get jealous.

(Longer shot of the throne room, showing the other five seats empty. Slow pan across the table.)

Twilight: I’m sorry I missed out because sharing that experience would’ve helped me with my Princess of Friendship duties.

(Close-up of the baby dragon, whose expression tells just how much he is not buying this as he munches on another ruby.)

Spike: (mouth full) Come again?

Twilight: If our friends could enjoy three full days with Discord that much— (pacing; he swallows) —it must have something to do with the specific things they did together! (smiling) If we could find out what those things were, it could be a real breakthrough in the science of friendship.

Spike: (grunting, shrugging) I guess so.

(Twilight, having moved o.s. by this point, teleports back to stand in front of her throne. The sudden return startles Spike into dropping the gem he holds.)

Twilight: I know so! (laughing) You thought our book-sort-cation was fun? This is gonna be even better!

(His only response is to narrow his eyes over a mild scowl—“it’s gonna be one of those days, isn’t it?” Snap to black.)

Act Two

(Opening shot: fade in to a stretch of park land outside Ponyville proper. Two picnic tables are set up here; Twilight and Spike stand on one of these, facing the other five mares and Discord. Spike stands ready to take notes on a clipboard as the camera zooms in slowly. Rainbow hovers off the ground.)

Twilight: Thank you for coming. I wouldn’t have asked you here if it wasn’t important. (Cut to Pinkie.)

Pinkie: I love important! (To Twilight and Spike.)

Twilight: I want to know how these “funny moments” you shared came to pass. I can use this data to help advance friendships all over Equestria. (To Applejack and Rarity.)

Applejack: Well, I like the sound of that.

(Zoom out to frame the rest of the audience, to the sound of the other four mares’ agreement, then cut back to the winged unicorn and her scribe.)

Twilight: Perfect. (Spike jots a note.) Let’s start with the snake.

(This is the cue for Rainbow and Discord to try and bite back a laugh in close-up, then fail miserably and give it full voice. The pegasus keeps at it through her next line.)

Rainbow: I don’t know if I can get it out! It’s too funny!

Discord: (grabbing her briefly) Oh, but we must! It’s for the greater good! (Zoom in slowly.) It started when we were helping Granny Smith with her garden…

(Zoom out quickly to frame Applejack, Fluttershy, and Pinkie.)

Applejack: Uh, I reckon you mean my sister Apple Bloom.

Discord: (waving it off dismissively) Uh, all you Apples look the same. (resuming) And then Rainbow Dash saw a snake!

Fluttershy: I think it was a garden hose.

Rainbow: It was a hose snake. Super-deadly!

Applejack: I recall it bein’ a large stick that looked like a hose— (Cut to Spike, quill now in teeth; she continues o.s.) —that in turn did in fact resemble a snake. (He writes; zoom out as Pinkie leans to him over the table.)

Pinkie: Point is, we galloped away. (Rainbow drops into view, knocking her flat.)

Rainbow: And it chased after us! (She flies o.s.)

Twilight: The hose? (Pinkie pops up…) A snake? (…and zips away.) A stick?

Rainbow: A snail [sic]!

Fluttershy: A hose!

Applejack: A stick!

Discord: We literally trotted for our lives. (grinning) Isn’t that hilarious?

Fluttershy: (crossing to table) I guess you had to be there.

Twilight: (thoughtfully) I do need to be there.

Rarity: But you weren’t, and it’s already happened. (Pause.) Ooh! Are you suggesting…

(Now it is Pinkie’s turn to whip over to the investigators, having donned a wristwatch and insulated vest and propping a pair of mirrored sunglasses on her forehead.)

Pinkie: (eagerly) …time travel?!?

Twilight: (shoving her nose against Pinkie’s to push her back) Absolutely not! Time travel is not something to be messed with. (Pinkie retreats.) We simply need to re-create everything that led to these jokes.

(Longer shot of the entire group; Pinkie has shed her getup.)

Discord: Oh, what a brilliant idea! Shall we begin with the lunch date that kicked off the glorious weekend you missed out on?

(He leans down into her face on these last four words, and she smiles in response. Dissolve to him and the six mares gathered around an outdoor lunch table that is bare except for its cloth. Rainbow hovers above the others.)

Twilight: Are you sure it was this table?

Rainbow: Uh…does it really matter? (Cut to Twilight/Fluttershy/Pinkie.)

Twilight: When it comes to science, everything matters. One change to the equation could ruin the experiment. (Pan/tilt up to Discord.)

Discord: Noooo…

(He trails off into a mumble while fiddling with his beard; cut to a long shot that shows their table as one of several standing outside a café. The chaos master teleports himself to another cleared table, hunkered down over it with head propped on forelimbs.)

Discord: …it was this table here.

(All but Twilight gather around and seat themselves on the cushioned stools that ring the table, Discord pulling one out for Fluttershy. He settles down next to her as Pinkie takes a menu from the provided stack and Twilight arrives.)

Twilight: All right. So you sat down at the table, and then what happened? (Cut to Rarity.)

Rarity: (levitating a menu) Oh, well, first I expressed my displeasure with the design of the menu, and— (Zoom out to frame Discord and Fluttershy.)

Discord: Oh, I’m sorry to interrupt, but I’ve just noticed something. (Rarity sets the menu down; Twilight leans into view.)

Twilight: Yes? (Zoom out to frame all.)

Discord: (gesturing) The tablecloth. It isn’t the same color as the one the restaurant used on the day in question.

Twilight: (slightly baffled) Really?

Rarity: He’s right! The tablecloth was red! I remember because it clashed with the font on the menus.

Applejack: I don’t suppose that means we’re gonna need to get a new tablecloth, does it?

Discord: Oh, most definitely!

(One talon comes down on the cloth, causing bright red color to spread all over it from the point of contact and bringing a round of awed murmurs.)

Pinkie: (during previous) Wowee!

Discord: (stepping back from table) One change to the equation could ruin the experiment.

(Copies of Twilight’s mane, horn, and wings manifest themselves on him.)

Discord: Twilight said so herself.

(He throws a sidewise smirk toward the others. An instant later he is pacing past the table, having traded these new features for a white lab coat and a set of goggles on his forehead.)

Discord: Anything stand out as being different? Anything at all?

Fluttershy: Um, I’ve noticed a couple of things.

Pinkie: Me too! (He whips back to them.)

Discord: Excellent!

(A burst of Twilight’s magic summons up a notepad and quill. Zoom in slowly on her, face shifting from indecision to a tentative smile, then dissolve to Rainbow in the sky above. She pulls a cloud down into view.)

Discord: (from o.s.) A little to the left! (She nudges it toward screen right.) No, my left!

(Push it back. Cut to ground level, where he has traded his white coat for a gray one and donned a reflective orange safety vest over it. The goggles are still on his forehead, and he waves two glowing orange signal beacons as if guiding an airplane in for a landing as Twilight takes notes.)

Discord: A little bit more… (Pinkie joins them.) …uh, no, no, no, no, no, a little more might…

Pinkie: The cloud over our table looked like an ice cream sundae!

(Discord strokes his beard, pondering this detail; up top, Rainbow bugs out just before his paw and talons—no longer carrying the beacons—reach into view to stretch out the cloud she has brought in. When he lets go, it snaps back and assumes the shape Pinkie has described.)

Pinkie: (singsong) Perfect!

(She lets her eyes go big and shiny at the sight and licks her chops for good measure; meanwhile, Twilight just keeps writing away in her pad. Cut to a close-up of a full soup bowl in which a thermometer has been submerged. As Discord leans in to watch closely, the mercury slowly rises to the top of the scale and then drops sharply without any warning. He stands up to full height.)

Discord: No, no, no, no, no! This is barely room temperature! (calling o.s.) Garçon!

(Pan quickly to the café’s closed door, next to which Twilight is standing to take notes. On the next line, the door opens to let a second Discord out into the fresh air, dressed as a waiter—white dress shirt, dark gray vest and bow tie, towel over one arm, thin black mustache curled at the ends.)

Discord: (from o.s.) Garçon! Over here!

(The instant duplication sparks the Princess of Friendship to scratch down a few words. Dissolve to an extreme close-up of Discord’s hind legs, dancing on the table and jammed into the peanut butter jars he used in Act One. The sound of mares’ laughter is heard as the camera zooms out to show one dryly taking notes and five more enjoying the show. He has disposed of all of his safety gear, and his waiter duplicate is nowhere to be seen. After several seconds, he leans down to Twilight.)

Discord: No? Nothing?

(He straightens up and she begins to pace, floating the pad and quill onto the table as she speaks.)

Twilight: Are you sure there’s not something you’ve missed? Some other detail about your lunch together that you’re forgetting?

Discord: (a bit snippy) Well, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I feel we’ve been pretty exhaustive in our attempts to re-create every single detail of our previous encounter.

(The others voice halfhearted, weary assent, and Rainbow flies across to Twilight.)

Rainbow: Yeah, Twilight. If you don’t get it by now, I-I don’t think you’re ever gonna get it.

Twilight: But it is really important that I figure this out. It’s for the good of all Equestria.

(Across the way, Discord has shed the jars and dressed himself as an old-time banker—white dress shirt, brown vest, gray tie, sleeve garters, half-moon glasses, mane slicked back—and is standing over a running stock ticker. The paper tape issuing from it snakes along the heads of Applejack and Fluttershy and has formed a huge coil on the ground next to Rarity. Rainbow flies over to them.)

Discord: Well, perhaps we should have another look at the data we’ve collected.

(Picking up a stretch, he runs his eye over it and pulls in a sharp gasp with a smile.)

Discord: (clapping lion paw to forehead) Of course! (reading closely) There is one last variable that we haven’t accounted for.

Twilight: (smiling) What?

(The maestro of randomness shoots her a knowing smile as the red-pupiled eyes gaze over the tops of his glasses.)

Discord: You!

Twilight: Me? (The financial getup is instantly gone. Zoom in slowly.)

Discord: You weren’t there observing us. No matter how hard we try, we can’t possibly re-create our weekend of fun exactly as it happened, because you’ll always be watching. And you weren’t there.

Other mares: (nodding) Hmmm.

Pinkie: He makes a good point.

Discord: (crossing to Twilight) It has only served to prove that moments of levity and bonding between friends simply cannot be re-created— (Cut to Twilight; he continues o.s.) —so that others might share in the experience. (Pinkie slides over to her.)

Pinkie: He makes another good point.

Rarity: (crossing to them) Oh, don’t worry, darling. I’m sure there’ll be plenty of other chances for you to share in the kind of frivolity we had with Discord while you were away.

(Her last few words are nearly lost under a sudden giggle. Rainbow swoops down toward Twilight as the other mares head off.)

Rainbow: Yeah. And I’ll bet they’ll be just as “hiss-s-s-terical”!

(She chuckles over the pun she has borrowed from Discord; he joins in, then the others, and she flies off after her friends. Fluttershy is last to go, walking between Twilight and Discord.)

Fluttershy: Absolutely.

(He exits with her, leaving Twilight standing gloomily alone outside the café. Dissolve to a close-up of Spike’s bowl of snacking rubies on a table within the castle; one of the library’s bookshelves—now full—is visible behind it.)

Twilight: (from o.s.) I’m not buying it. (He reaches into view and takes one.) Not for a second.

(On the start of the next line, zoom out to show him sitting on the table next to it and chewing away, having stowed the clipboard and quill he was using to assist her in the park. She paces the floor; behind them, all the shelves have been filled and the floor is clear of books.)

Twilight: There is definitely something else going on here, Spike. (He swallows his mouthful.)

Spike: Or, maybe there isn’t, and you should just drop this whole thing and admit that you’re a little jealous. (He continues to eat under the next line.)

Twilight: Even if I’m not able to laugh at what happened, I should be able to figure out why they find it funny! Why they think they had this amazing and hilarious time together! But I can’t figure it out! (smacking forehead) It doesn’t make sense!

Spike: (idly tossing a ruby) Some things just can’t be explained.

(She leans toward him forcefully enough to make him bobble and drop the tidbit.)

Twilight: Our friends think something great happened to them while I was away. But no. It was something awful!

(After a moment’s hard thought, the purple eyes pop wide open. Spike now stands to pick through his bowl.)

Twilight: If we don’t break the spell they’re under, who knows what terrible things could happen!

Spike: (floored) Spell?

Twilight: Come on, Spike! There’s no time to lose!

(She gallops for the door, wrapping her magic around the mildly fed-up Spike and towing him away. The yank drags him off balance so that he again drops the jewel is about to chew on. Snap to black.)

Act Three

(Opening shot: fade in to a close-up of Twilight’s reflection, framed upside-down on the surface of a glowing green liquid.)

Twilight: Zecora, what do you think? Can you undo Discord’s magic?

(Some purple granules drop into view and sink into the mix, causing her image to disappear into ripples and sluggish bubbles. Cut to frame her and Spike facing Zecora across the caldron that stands in the center of the zebra’s hut.)

Zecora:                        In what way can you tell

                                That they are indeed under a spell?

Twilight: (rolling eyes) They’re having fun with Discord, that’s why!

Zecora:                        Ah. A friendship with Discord is truly a shock.

(turning to shelves)                But who says it is something that we must block?

Twilight: Trust me. They would never laugh like that unless something magical was involved! (laughing a bit) It’s not that funny! (smiling) I know funny.

(Spike just grimaces and gives a world-class eye roll. Meanwhile, across the room, Zecora snags a bottle from a shelf in her mouth and carries it over to Twilight, who floats it free in her magical grip.)

Zecora:                        All right. This potion will break the spell.

(Twilight shakes it.)                Then you will be able to tell.

Spike: (from o.s.) Wait. (Cut to him.) If that’s the potion, then what’s brewing in your caldron? (Zoom out on the start of the next line; Zecora now stands across from him.)

Zecora:                        It ties the room together and emits a warm glow.

                                But if I am to be honest, it’s just for show.

(Dissolve to a long shot of the castle, now standing under a pre-dawn sky. Zoom in slowly and cut to the upper reaches of the throne room; on the start of the next line, tilt down to show Twilight’s five friends seated around the table.)

Applejack: (yawning) I wonder why she asked us here so bright and early.

Rarity: Another map adventure, perhaps?

(Pinkie stands up on her throne to get a good look at her own cutie mark, then whisks from one to the next. Fluttershy’s rump is hoisted up and dropped onto the cushion, while the other three get theirs peeked at from over the arms of their thrones. No action on any of the five fronts, but Rarity ends the scrutiny by giving Pinkie an icy stare.)

Pinkie: (grinning) Nope! No glowing tushies here! (She zips back to her place.)

Fluttershy: Or maybe it’s more of a non-adventure. (Gasp.) Maybe she just wants to tell us how last night’s slumber went?

(The doors swing open to admit a chipper Twilight and Spike.)

Twilight: Hey, gang!

Pinkie: Ooh! You look excited!

Twilight: (trotting to her) I am excited! We’re gonna have fun today!

Pinkie: (pumping a hoof) Yes!

Twilight: Just one tiny, miniscule, microscopic thing before fun times. (floating potion bottle up) I need everypony to sip this potion to break Discord’s spell on you.

(Her big grin is met by five looks of undiluted confusion, as seen when the camera cuts to her perspective.)

Applejack: Uh, what now?

Twilight: Don’t be embarrassed.

(Back to her; she sets the bottle on the table and begins to circle behind the thrones.)

Twilight: So what if Discord cast a spell on you so you thought you had a great time, and now you have all these inside jokes that you seem to be constantly laughing at? Don’t worry! You didn’t have your defenses up. I get it.

(The bottle is floated up, as are five cups with silly straws, and she begins to pour up a round of drinks. The first goes to Rainbow, who regards it with the clearest distrust.)

Rainbow: You’re kidding.

Rarity: (as one floats to her) Twilight, darling, we simply had a nice time with Discord. (magically dumping it on the floor) As I recall, we spent much of yesterday afternoon re-enacting it for you. (Here comes another.)

Twilight: (from o.s.) Uh-huh.

(Back to her. Two more cups hover in front of her, a third above Spike’s head. She fills this one while speaking, but lets it slop over and pour down over the scaly noggin, to his growing discontent.)

Twilight: Or, you re-enacted what you thought was fun, but really wasn’t because you were under a spell that made you think that what happened was fun! (A shot is slid across the table to Applejack.)

Applejack: What kinda fertilizer have you had your nose in, Twilight? (Back to Twilight; the bottle is now back on the table, and Spike is dry.)

Twilight: (corking it) Be honest. The only reason you won’t drink the potion is because deep down in your hearts, you know there’s a chance that Discord has you under his power!

Fluttershy: (from o.s., offended) Twilight! (Cut to her, with a cup of her own.) How could you say such a thing?

(She rests her front hooves on the table, jarring the cup so that a bit of liquid sloshes out.)

Fluttershy: I know Discord still makes mistakes sometimes, but you’re accusing him of being downright evil!

(Pan to frame Rainbow, who knocks her own drink over while matching the yellow pegasus’ pose.)

Rainbow: Yeah! And to top it off, you’re accusing us of not being able to tell he was up to something! What do you take us for?

(Cut to a close-up of a mildly disbelieving Twilight and zoom out to show Pinkie half-slumped across the table edge toward her. The pink mare has done away with the straw in her cup and is regarding Twilight through a half-squint.)

Pinkie: Yeah! (Drink; Twilight smiles with a hint of smugness.) What do you… (Again.) …take us for?

 

(The camera zooms out to frame the other four watching in complete shock. After a long moment, Pinkie grins and raises her cup.)

Pinkie: Dee-licious! Got any more, Twilight?

(The doors swing open to reveal Discord standing on their other side and ready to go fishing. Bucket hat, T-shirt, rod over shoulder, life jacket with a jar attached that contains a tiny copy of the Smooze—the slimy buddy he brought to the Grand Galloping Gala in “Make New Friends but Keep Discord.”)

Discord: Hi, Twilight! (He steps in.) The gang mentioned we’d all be hanging out together today.

(Cut to the table; Pinkie has now commandeered the potion bottle and is dumping its contents straight down her throat.)

Twilight: (suspiciously) “The gang”?

Discord: (from o.s.) Yeah! (Close-up of him.) The Peanut Butter Hoof Gang!

(He points toward the floor, the camera tilting down to frame his dancing hind legs—and the peanut butter jars that have once again wedged onto them. Laughs float across the room, but the sound gets on Twilight’s last good nerve even as Pinkie cuddles the now-corked bottle to herself and giggles.)

Pinkie: It’s still funny!

(She topples backwards to the floor, leaving the container on the table, as the rest of the disgruntled Princess’s friends leave their seats.)

Applejack: (aside, to Twilight) So much for that whole spell theory.

(They are now gathered with Discord and yukking it up, but Twilight just voices a frustrated groan while rubbing an eye. He has stopped dancing and  taken off the jars again.)

Twilight: But it’s still not funny! (Cut to them.)

Rainbow: It’s funny if you were there.

Twilight: (from o.s.) But I wasn’t’ there!

(All fall silent; back to her and Spike, who backs off warily.)

Twilight: (with growing rancor, stomping, slowly tearing up) I wasn’t included! Maybe it’s my own fault for staying in and having a book-sort-cation when I could’ve been making jokes and memories and having a great time with my friends! (wiping eyes) But I didn’t do that, did I? You all did! You were all there, but…

(She snaps out of the fit at last and straightens up with a nearly inaudible gasp, taking in the profoundly concerned looks on the six unlikely buddies’ faces.)

Twilight: (sadly) …I wasn’t there. I missed out. (Slow pan across them; she continues o.s.) And seeing you having all these jokes I wasn’t a part of and couldn’t understand made me—

(Back to her on the end of this; now Spike ventures a few steps in her direction.)

Spike: —jealous?

Twilight: No. The Princess of Friendship can’t get jealous.

Applejack: (from o.s.) Sure you can, Twilight. (Cut to her and the others.) And none of us begrudge you for it.

Fluttershy: We’re sorry if we made you feel left out.

Twilight: (toying with bottle on table) You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re allowed to share things that don’t include me.

Rarity: And you’re allowed to feel a little jealous about it. You just have to be able to admit that that’s what you’re feeling— (Applejack nods.) —so you can let it go.

Rainbow: And, you know, not try to make us re-create everything that happened when you weren’t around.

(Cut to Twilight. Discord poofs over next to her, instantly conjuring up a throne like the others to sit on—set with a picture of his own laughing face. He has shucked his fishing gear and now wears a crown crookedly over his horn and antler.)

Discord: Of course, none of this would have happened if I hadn’t encouraged everypony not to invite you this weekend.

Twilight: (not quite buying it) They wanted me to be there? And you convinced them to not invite me?

Discord: Well, I didn’t think that they should interrupt you. But now I see that we should have. (He draws in a long breath and pulls at his face.) Oh, I feel just terrible.

(But when he lets go, his cheeks snap back into place over a mischievously smiling mouth. Pinkie slips up on the side opposite Twilight.)

Pinkie: (accusingly) You don’t look like you feel terrible.

(In reply, the walking anatomical grab-bag takes hold of his beard, twists it upward, and rotates his entire snout 180 degrees to make his smile look somewhat like a frown. The beard is then slid back down onto his new “chin.”)

Discord: Better?

Applejack: (from o.s.) Wait a minute. (She and the other three close in.) You didn’t suggest not inviting Twilight ’cause you wanted to make her feel left out, did you?

(Now he is back in “painter” mode as in Act One, complete with bushy hair/beard, and has created a picture of a smiling Twilight under a moonlit sky. The crown is gone, and his facial features are back in order.)

Discord: Of course not! That whole jealousy thing was just a happy accident.

(A touch of brush against canvas transforms the image into a scowling, green-tinted one with bat wings. Moments later, he has popped back into existence atop the table, as his normal self and with the extra throne gone. All six mares have gathered near him at the edge.)

Discord: Certainly we can all agree that Princess Twilight learned a valuable lesson here— (Close-up of him, tilting down to her as he continues.) —that even she can have feelings of jealousy. (now o.s.) That she should recognize said feelings rather than try to pretend that she doesn’t have them.

(Her head droops contritely during this last sentence, the camera zooming in very slowly, and the next cut is to the entire group.)

Discord: (to himself) Mmm-hmm. (aloud) Did I get the tiniest bit of glee out of watching her try to re-create our weekend of fun in the name of science?

(Cut to a now-slightly-disgruntled Twilight, who recoils just a trace as his shadow looms toward her.)

Discord: (from o.s., cheerfully) Oh, most definitely! (Back to him, all business again.) But what’s important here is that it was never my intent to make Twilight feel jealous. That’s something the old me would have tried to do.

(As he speaks this last sentence, he steps aside to reveal a sinister caricature of himself—dark cape and top hat, hooded eyes, twiddling thumbs, prominent dark eyebrows and thin curling mustache. A shove promptly sends this one flying, and the genuine article produces an orange from nowhere with a smile.)

Discord: “Orange” you glad I’ve changed?

(He waggles his bushy white brows, but there is not a single laugh coming from the tableside gallery. Taken slightly aback, and with the fruit now vanished, he tries again.)

Discord: (exaggeratedly) I said… (Oranges rain down around him.) …“orange” you glad I’ve changed?

(Still no response except for a cough from Pinkie.)

Discord: (fed up) Orange! Like the ones at the Applejack farm! I-I-I mean, from this weekend!

(The deluge of citrus stops and the last samples roll off to the floor.)

Discord: No? Nothing? (Close-up.) Really? (Zoom in on his eyes.) I thought you’d find this…

(Closing them for a moment, he opens the lids to show the pupils slitted, as in his Act One snake impression.)

Discord: …hiss-s-s-terical!

(A quick zoom out on this line reveals that he is now doing the whole bit, forked tongue and all—but a shake of the rattle still fails to make the mares roll in the aisles.)

Rarity: (pushing it aside) Y-yes, no. Discord, I think these jokes have run their course.

Pinkie: (smiling) Only way we’d find them funny now is if you put us all under some kinda spell! (A grinning Twilight steps up next to her.)

Twilight: Come on. You’d have to be a complete crazy pony to think he’d do something like that! What are you gonna say next, Pinkie? (Cut to the other four, all smiling; she continues o.s.) That we all have to drink some weird potion to break the spell?

(There follows a round of laughs, but Discord straightens up in close-up, now fully himself again.)

Discord: (sputtering indignantly) What’s so funny?

Rainbow: (flying to him) Come on, Discord. Do we really have to “spell” it out for you?

(She backpedals to the other five, sharing in their mirth as he gapes at them over finding himself on the other end of an inside joke.)

Discord: I-I-I don’t get it. Somepony want to tell me what’s so hilarious? (waving for attention) Anypony? Hello? (He teleports down off the table and knocks on Pinkie’s head.) I’m talking to you! You, a-and you and you!

(Each of these last three “you”’s is accompanied by a cut to a close-up of one mare—Fluttershy, then Rainbow, then Rarity—after which the camera cuts back to Discord.)

Discord: Wh-Wh-What’s—what’s funny about “spell”? (He begins to shrink, losing steam and starting to blubber.) I-I mean, I really, I don’t get it! I’m being left out and I feel really bad about that.

(He ends with a pathetic little sniffle; only now does Spike walk brightly to the table. The draconequus is now about the same size as his head.)

Spike: Sorry, buddy. Guess you had to be there.

(A proportionately sized orange pops into being in front of Discord, but due to Twilight’s magic rather than his own. He plucks it from the air with an understanding smile as the violet mage approaches to give him one of her own, and he teleports over to the laughing septet and sweeps them into a double-armed hug with an exuberant laugh. He is back to full size, and the orange is gone. “Iris out” to black, centering on his face.)


THE HOOFFIELDS AND McCOLTS

Written by Joanna Lewis, Kristine Songco

Produced by Devon Cody

Story editing by Meghan McCarthy

Consulting direction by Jayson Thiessen

Supervising direction by Jim Miller

Directed by Denny Lu

Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)

Prologue

(Opening shot: fade in to the living room of Fluttershy’s cottage, with the daytime sky visible through a window. She sits on her belly, sharing the couch with her rabbit Angel, and animals of all sizes have arrayed themselves about the floor and furniture. A few of them are holding hardback books in different sizes.)

Fluttershy: Does every animal have their copy of Wuthering Hooves?

(A pig and swan each hoist one, Angel whips his out from behind a couch cushion, and Harry the bear—identified by name in “Scare Master”—and a mouse find themselves holding copies better sized for one another. They quickly trade, and Fluttershy brings hers up, framed in profile close-up from the neck up.)

Fluttershy: Hooray! I love Furry Friends Book Club! (opening it) Now, let’s discuss the theme of nature as it applies to Hoofcliff’s love.

(A steady pulse of light from somewhere close behind prompts her to put the book down and look around with no small measure of confusion.)

Fluttershy: Did somepony leave a light on?

(Pan slightly to frame Angel, who pokes impatiently at her mane and then at the source of the disruption as the camera zooms out slightly. It is her cutie mark, flaring to indicate a summons for a friendship-related mission.)

Fluttershy: Oh, it’s me.

(She turns back to her reading, but realizes after a few seconds what it all means.)

Fluttershy: Oh! (standing, setting book down) It’s me!

(An image of the butterfly cluster lifts away from her haunch and zips out through an open front window. She flies out after them, but opens the top half of her front door a moment later.)

Fluttershy: (hastily) We’ll continue this discussion when I get back!

(Zoom away, then back to pull the door shut. With the mare of the house now gone, the rest of the book club members promptly fall to a lively discourse in a babel of their own languages. Fade to black.)

OPENING THEME

Act One

(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of Twilight Sparkle’s castle and the path leading to it from Ponyville proper. The spectral butterflies wing toward it, chased by Fluttershy, and vanish through the closed front doors. Fluttershy touches down on the stoop just in time for the doors to be magically thrown open, barely missing her head, and Twilight hurries out to grab hold of one yellow foreleg.)

Twilight: You’re here!

(She teleports them away; cut to within one of the castle’s corridors as they materialize. Now her cutie mark can be seen to be sounding off as well.)

Twilight: (showing it off) Isn’t this exciting?

(Fluttershy drops to her haunches, initially covering her eyes with a foreleg to shield them from Twilight’s tail, but soon risks a look at the starred haunch.)

Fluttershy: Oh! You were called too! Thank goodness. (She stands up.) I feel so much better going with a friend.

Twilight: (excitedly, taking telekinetic hold of one set of doors) I was about to come and get you, but then I got distracted.

(Cut to an extreme close-up of the doors she has selected, which swing open to reveal the two mares in the hallway. Fluttershy’s eyes pop in puzzlement as the camera zooms out to frame the throne room, whose central table has manifested the map that called them. Books are stacked/scattered on the floor and any bit of the table with enough free space to accommodate them, and sheets of notes and graphs are taped up on the walls.)

Fluttershy: Oh. (Close-up; they step in.)

Twilight: Ever since the map called us, I’ve been doing a ton of research— (She teleports over to a heavily chalked blackboard.) —testing out potential friendship problems—

(On the end of this, she floats up a piece of chalk and adds a second underline to a pair of smiling pony faces. The next pop of magic takes her back to Fluttershy’s side, where she maneuvers a thick book over to herself.)

Twilight: (patting it) —diversifying my solution portfolio…

(Trot perkily across the room. Leave it floating in place, then poof it away before Fluttershy can get more than a brief look at the cover.)

Fluttershy: Ever since the map called us? But…that happened five minutes ago. (Twilight is now sitting on Applejack’s throne, a book lying open before her.)

Twilight: I know! But I want to be one hundred percent prepared. (spreading wings) I mean, I’m the Princess of Friendship. (Close-up.) How would it look if I couldn’t solve a friendship problem?

(Her face splits in an unconvincing grin. On the start of the next line, zoom out to frame Fluttershy crossing to her; both cutie marks go quiet.)

Fluttershy: Oh, I’m so lucky I’m being sent with you. Speaking of which, where are we going?

Twilight: (pointing across table) The Smoky Mountains!

(The pegasus turns to follow the gesture; cut to a close-up of the stars and butterflies circling above a pair of mountain peaks standing on opposite sides of a broad valley. Zoom out to frame Fluttershy eyeing the spot.)

Fluttershy: Oh, I’ve never been there before.

Twilight: (from o.s.) Neither have I. (Cut to her, walking to stacked/strewn books and notes.) And there isn’t a lot of information on them.

(While saying this, she floats a pile of tomes off the floor to reveal Spike beneath, reading one of his comics. The target of her search is a book lying right in front of him, which she levitates up.)

Twilight: All I could find was this.

(It is slung back across the room, the rest of the literature being set down to bury the baby dragon again. In close-up, Fluttershy cringes as the book hurtles toward her, but it stops just short of her face and flips open. On the start of the next line, cut to a close-up of it, showing a two-page illustration of the two vegetation/tree-crowned summits and the lush valley and stream between them.) 

Twilight: (from o.s.) The Smoky Mountains harbor the most beautiful valley in all of Equestria, between its two majestic mountain peaks. (Back to Fluttershy.)

Fluttershy: That’s gorgeous. (Book closes; she rises to her hind legs and claps her front hooves as she continues.) And where there’s nature, there’s a ton of animal friends! (Twilight darts over.)

Twilight: (scooping up book) I can’t wait to get started! I’m a little nervous since that’s all I could find. (floating it away) I usually like to be a bit more prepared.

(Fluttershy looks concernedly around herself, the camera zooming out slowly to frame the extensive background work again.)

Fluttershy: You seem pretty prepared to me.

(A glance off to one side; cut to two pairs of bulging saddlebags by one wall as the two cross to them.)

Fluttershy: Are those…for us?

Twilight: (tucking book into hers) Yep. I’ve prepared our things. Snacks, books, blankets, books…

Fluttershy: You said “books” twice.

Twilight: There are a lot of books.

(The bags come off the floor, held in her aura. She settles hers onto her back and trots off with a grin and no visible effort, but the ones for Fluttershy nearly crush her to the floor when they settle into place.)

Fluttershy: Oof!

(She struggles to get upright; cut to just outside the open front doors as Twilight trots out.)

Twilight: What do you think our friendship problem’s gonna be?

Fluttershy: (crawling after her, straining) I don’t know, but I’m sure we’ll figure it out.

(Another attempt to stand up to full height just causes her legs to buckle further. Twilight, meanwhile, has reached the hot-air balloon she and her friends have used in the past, moored at a platform among the houses of Ponyville. She climbs in as Fluttershy heaves and groans her way across the cobblestones; in close-up, she tests a connecting rope as the pegasus gets her bags up onto the edge of the basket.)

Twilight: Do you think it’ll be a problem about lying? (They topple in; Fluttershy hoists herself up.)

Fluttershy: (out of breath) I’m sure we’ll find out when we get there.

Twilight: You’re right.

(Fluttershy gets herself onboard, and the Princess undoes a rope to cast off. Up they go, the view dissolving to a long shot of the balloon drifting over the countryside.)

Twilight: (echoing slightly) Ooh! Could it be about when two friends just randomly decide to do something together, but they forget to invite the third friend, and the third friend feels left out?

(Dissolve to the craft now parked at the edge of a forest. Twilight walks ahead, eyeing a sheet and still toting her saddlebags, while Fluttershy secures the mooring line with her own bags resting on the grass. The winged unicorn stops after a few steps.)

Twilight: (as Fluttershy struggles into her gear) Or where one friend tells another friend’s secret after they ask them not to?

Fluttershy: (walking toward her, straining) We’ll know very, very soon, since we’re almost there.

(Whereupon Twilight lifts off, document and all. Dissolve to her in flight, still reading intently; after a few flaps, she shifts into a hover, grins, and rolls/stows the page. Her eyes flick worriedly behind herself; to the sound of Fluttershy’s weary moan, the camera zooms out to show her slowly and painfully trying to gain altitude. Magic takes hold of her overstuffed bags.)

Twilight: Here. Let me get that.

(Both sets of luggage are levitated away, and Fluttershy rises to her level with a relieved sigh.)

Fluttershy: Thank you.

Twilight: Sorry I feel a little skiddly-bop-de-boo. (giddily) I just can’t believe this is finally happening!

(Her high spirits vanish in the fraction of a second it takes for a pumpkin to hurtle across from behind the pair, plowing their equipment away. A telekinetic downward yank on Fluttershy’s mane saves her from being brained, and Twilight is left with nothing but the solution portfolio she mentioned during her prep work in the castle. A long shot of the area shows that they are hovering between the two peaks of the Smoky Mountains—but the landscape is noticeably different from that shown in Twilight’s book. The stands of timber on both pinnacles are gone, replaced by scraggly saplings on the left one and stumps on the right. The left one is topped with a plethora of pumpkins—the side from which the shot came—and a scatter of ramshackle wooden buildings. The grass on the right one is dead and brown, while a sturdy log fort stands at the highest point. Between them, the valley is now a weed-and-boulder-choked expanse split by the long-dried-up stream bed.)

(More pumpkins are fired off toward the fort, one nearly wiping out both airborne mares in close-up.)

Fluttershy: Whoa!

Twilight: Whoa! What in Equestria is happening? (Another projectile threads the needle between them.)

Fluttershy: It’s nothing like your book said it would be!

Twilight: Oh, boy. I’m feeling very unprepared. Where do we even start? (She ducks a pumpkin.)

Fluttershy: (pointing back the way it came) Maybe by figuring out where the flying pumpkins are coming from?

(They head toward the left peak. Cut to a close-up of an elderly, medium brown mare with darker, bushy eyebrows over deep blue eyes and yellowed buck teeth. Her curly mane is in two shades of faded dust-brown and tied back, and a red kerchief is knotted around her neck above a faded blue shirt collar. This is Ma Hooffield, who speaks with a pronounced backwoods accent.)

Ma: Ready!

(Longer shot of the area. The shirt sleeves are rolled up, and she wears a blue denim vest over it; her cutie mark is a pumpkin. Nearby is a cannon carved from a log, attended by two stallions in shades of red and brown; one loads a pumpkin into the muzzle and packs it down with a ramrod, while the other has his teeth clamped onto the free end of a rope attached to the breech. All three are earth ponies.)

Ma: Aim! (The loader nudges the muzzle upward, then bails out.) FIRE!!

(A yank on the rope sends the gourd on its way, and she shades her eyes to follow its trajectory toward the opposite mountain. A splat of orange just outside the walls tells the near miss.)

Twilight: (from o.s.) Um, hi! (Ma glares back; cut to frame the two visitors walking up.) Hello. Excuse us, but what are you doing?

Ma: (pointing) We’re pumpkin-in’ our neighbors!

Fluttershy: Yes, but, um…why are you “pumpkin-ing” your neighbors?

Ma: (scornfully) Well, because the McColts are just plain rotten! (suspiciously) Hey, wait a tick. Who are you two? You’re not spies for the McColts, are you?

(Several similarly colored stallions and mares—earth ponies all—gather around with a round of hard glares.)

Twilight: I am Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship, and I’m here to solve your friendship problem.

Fluttershy: I’m Fluttershy, and, um, I’m here too.

Ma: (shaking hooves with Twilight) Ma Hooffield. Pleased to meet you, but you’re wastin’ your time. We don’t have a friendship problem—we have a McColt problem.

(On these last three words, cut to a close-up of her seamed face and zoom in on her squinting, distrustful eyes. The camera then zooms out to show an equally aged, green-eyed stallion now standing alongside Ma, with long beard/mustache, brows, and wisps of curly mane in faded blond.)

Hooffield stallion: And there’s absolutely no friendship there!

(He zips away; Ma nods grimly, but Twilight just brings her portfolio over to herself and Fluttershy so they can check an entry.)

Twilight: Well— (sending it away) —maybe there could be if we figure out what the McColts did to make you so mad.

Ma: (stomping) Oh, well, they’ve done so many things! Why, just today, they shot pebbles at our farmhouse and wrecked it!

(Pan quickly in the direction of her gesturing hoof to the collapsed remains of a building, one that could never have passed for a paragon of sound architectural design even when it was intact. The camera then cuts back to Ma.)

Ma: See, we’re not very good at buildin’, so all it took was a little pebble. (indignantly) But still!

(As Twilight checks the portfolio again, Fluttershy looks away toward ground level. Cut to a close-up of a loose pumpkin, in which a family of mice has gnawed a window and door and taken up residence. As one of the Hooffield stallions nips it up by the stem, a straggler leaps for the door and grabs hold of the paws being held out toward it. The whole thing is unceremoniously jammed into the muzzle of the cannon, prompting a rush of panicked squeaking.)

Fluttershy: Oh, no!

(She gets over there just in time to pull it loose before the stallion shoves the ramrod down the barrel, oblivious to the theft. Twilight lowers and closes the portfolio as Ma shifts her eyes from trying to bore a hole through the covers to trying to make sense of the contents.)

Twilight: I know what to do. (floating it away) We’re gonna talk with these McColts and hear their side of the story. Once we have all the facts, we can put an end to this, using reason and rationale.

(The old mare just looks at her as if she has grown two extra heads; across the way, Fluttershy has set the mice’s pumpkin down with its inhabitants safe and sound.)

Fluttershy: Good plan! (They scurry out; she lowers her voice and addresses them.) That’s why she’s the Princess.

Twilight: (to Ma) In the meantime, could you please call off the pumpkin-ing?

Ma: (begrudgingly) Oh, all right.

Twilight: Thanks. (trotting away) Come on, Fluttershy.

(Both lift off. Wipe to an extreme close-up of a barrier of wooden planks; one light violet hoof reaches into view and knocks, and a longer shot frames the Ponyville pair standing before a set of closed gates in a sturdy wall. This can only be the fort on the other peak—McColt territory, according to Ma. A male voice, as rural-sounding as hers, calls down from above.)

Male voice 1: State your business!

(Both pairs of eyes glance upward, the camera tilting quickly upward to the speaker—a stallion with a drab grayish-blue coat, dark blue eyes with birdcatcher spots, and a short, light blue mane—glaring down at them from the wall’s top. A similarly colored mare joins him, a pink kerchief with white polka dots knotted over her darker blue mane. Both wear light gray shirts and have no horns.)

McColt mare 1: (to him) Don’t even bother. They’re probably spies for the Hooffields.

McColt stallion: Hey, wait! (leaning over wall) You’re an alicorn! (His perspective of the pair.) I thought just the three Princesses were alicorns!

Twilight: (echoing slightly) There are four alicorn princesses in Equestria now. I am Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship.

Fluttershy: (softly) And I’m Fluttershy. (Back to the two McColts.)

McColt stallion: We have a new princess? When did that happen? (stammering a bit) And-and how did the Hooffields come by a princess spy? (Zoom out to ground level, framing Twilight and Fluttershy.)

Twilight: We are not spies! (to Fluttershy) Why does everypony assume we’re spies?

(The sound of several bolts being undone throws them for a loop; cut to a close-up of the gates, which open to expose a tall, dirty, round-crowned hat whose brim is level with the bottom of the screen. A second male voice speaks up, this one with a deeper tone and drawling quality to it.)

Male voice 2: Because we don’t get a lot of visitors!

(A tilt down to ground level brings this speaker into view, Big Daddy McColt, framed in a head-on shot. Lined face, light grayish-blue coat, straight mustache/beard/tail in two shades of dark gray, brown eyes under thick brows, baggy overalls. His most distinctive physical feature, though, is his height—or rather, his lack of it; he might be as tall as the average colt, and the hat stands nearly as high as he does.)

Big Daddy: I’m Big Daddy McColt. You caught us at a weird time. We’re in the middle of a giant feud with our TERRIBLE NEIGHBORS!!

(These last two words echo through the air as he darts forward to shout them at the Hooffields’ side with all the lung-power he can muster. The camera angle shifts during this motion to clearly show his close-cropped tail and lack of wings. His yell sets the scrawny trees vibrating on the opposite peak, scares a flock of birds into flight, and causes a couple of rickety structures to come crashing down.)

Twilight: Well, actually, that’s why we’re here. (He passes between her and Fluttershy…) To solve your problem with the Hooffields! (…then whirls to face them.)

Big Daddy: So you’re here to help us get rid of ’em!

 

(Several other members of the clan put their heads out around the gate, cheering, blowing party favors, and throwing confetti.)

Twilight: No! That’s not what I meant at all!

Big Daddy: (menacingly) Well, if you ain’t fer us— (tilting head forward to shade eyes; zoom in) —you’re agin’ us.

(Princess and traveling partner recoil in shock at this pronouncement. Snap to black.)

Act Two

(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of the McColts’ fort and zoom in slowly. The gate has been closed, and both the path leading to it and the outer wall are clear of ponies—the group has moved within.)

Twilight: (from inside) We are not on anypony’s side. (Close-up of her and Fluttershy, the latter grinning shakily.) We’re here to help you become friends again!

(Zoom out quickly to show family members giving them the hairy eyeball—some resembling the two on guard duty at the gate, others closer to Big Daddy’s coloration. Like the Hooffields, they are all earth ponies. The diminutive patriarch approaches.)

Big Daddy: Well, that’s gonna be hard. I don’t believe we’ve ever been friends with the Hooffields.

Twilight: But you could be. They’re just really upset you ruined their farmhouse. (He leans into their faces.)

Big Daddy: Wait a hog-wogglin’ minute! We only did that because the Hooffields— (pointing to one side) —pulled the pin out of our wagon wheel!

(Pan quickly in the indicated direction to the vehicle in question, which is loaded with produce—mostly pumpkins and squash—and is missing one wheel. That corner is propped up on a stick, which promptly gives way; when the wagon topples, several items are jolted out and one pumpkin smashes on the ground.)

Big Daddy: A whole week’s worth of food, rollin’ down the mountain! (removing hat, exposing bald scalp) Us McColts are mighty fine builders, but we don’t know the first thing about farmin’.

(The kinfolk around him nod and neigh softly in assent as he claps the hat back on.)

Big Daddy: We have to travel a ways away to buy our food.

(Extreme close-up of one gourd splattered on the hardpan—the aftermath of a Hooffield strike. On the start of the next linen, zoom out to frame him glaring at it and the other debris spread around him.)

Big Daddy: And now we’ll be stuck eatin’ the pumpkins the Hooffields launched at us! (with slight fondness) Pumpkin bread, pumpkin soup, pumpkin quesadillas… (Cut to Twilight and Fluttershy; he continues o.s.) …pumpkin paella, pumpkin cheese, pumpkin pie… (Back to him.) …pumpkin frittatas…actually, that all sounds pretty good. (venomously, leaning into their faces) But it’ll get old!

(His pronunciation of “quesadillas” differs from the typical one in two ways. First, he turns the S sound in the second syllable into an X; second; he voices the double L as a single one, rather than a Y as in “yes.” Twilight floats up her portfolio and skims a page as Fluttershy turns her attention elsewhere. Across the compound, as soon as a dustpan-load of pumpkin scraps is emptied into a barrel, a stallion promptly moves in and scrapes the load into a bag he holds in his mouth, delivering it to a full table next to which a mare is tending a cooking pot over a fire. One chunk falls to the ground, catching the eye of a squirrel behind a table leg; it starts out from this hiding place, only for a broom to come down and sweep the morsel away. The furry brown face falls in disappointment, but another piece is pushed into view by Fluttershy and it answers her smile with one of its own.)

(Cut back to Twilight, still reading.)

Twilight: Have you tried meeting at a neutral location, talking about your problems, and really listening to each other? (Book down.)

Big Daddy: What?!? No! (He whisks up to a lookout point atop the wall.) They’d sooner launch their dinners at us than listen to us!

Twilight: Well, they’ll listen to me. I’m an impartial third party.

(A few quick flaps bring her to an airborne vantage point between the two mountains. Here she casts a spell that projects a spark of white light onto her throat, where it fades away on contact. Its effect is to magnify her voice so that it easily carries to both sides, with a bit of an echo.)

Twilight: Attention, Hooffields and McColts! I’m not on anypony’s side, but I can see you’re both wasting time and resources on being mean to each other. Ponies are supposed to help each other and be kind. So let’s stop this senseless fighting!

(During her second and third sentences, the camera cuts first to Ma and a couple of her kin listening with some bemusement, then to Fluttershy, Big Daddy and another mare on the McColt wall. For the last sentence, the view shifts to frame both sides again and the speck that is Twilight. She returns to the McColts’ side after she finishes, the camera cutting to the top of the wall as she touches down next to Big Daddy. The amplification spell is no longer in effect.)

Twilight: There! That should do it. Ready to go home, Fluttershy?

Fluttershy: I’d love to, but…if we solved the problem already— (glancing at her haunch) —shouldn’t our cutie marks be glowing again?

Twilight: (a bit smugly) Oh, yeah. (glancing at hers) They should be glowing any minute now.

(Except that hers is not. It does, however, get redecorated in red when a tomato sails into view and splats wetly against it. She grimaces fearfully and cuts her eyes back toward the Hooffield side as the report from their cannon drifts across the gap and a salvo of vine-ripened ammo whistles through the sky. All the McColts in the vicinity quickly evacuate it.)

Twilight: Or not.

(She and Fluttershy get hit, the screen instantly filling with pulp and clearing to show a knot of McColts panicking and getting their hooves in gear to stay ahead of the new barrage. Twilight and Fluttershy race across the grounds, wings up to protect their heads as best they can, and take cover in a shed. Shaking herself clean, the thwarted peacemaker brings out her portfolio.)

Twilight: (magically tearing out/balling a page) So much for potential friendship solution number twenty-eight. (It winks out.)

Fluttershy: (as Twilight closes book and floats it away) I guess we should find out why the Hooffields are launching tomatoes now.

(Cut to that side, where three clan members have set up slingshots and are firing at will. Ma catches sight of one mare who is about to fire two tomatoes at once.)

Ma: One at a time, Greenhoof. If you smush them tomaters in the slingshot— (smiling savagely) —they won’t break on the McColts.

Twilight: (from o.s.) What are you doing?

(On the start of the next line, zoom out to frame her and Fluttershy coming in for a landing. Fluttershy is now clean of tomato residue.)

Twilight: I-I asked you to stop fighting!

Ma: Oh, is that what you were hollerin’ about? (picking up a tomato) We thought the McColts rubbed you the wrong way— (tossing it idly) —so we tomater’d them for you. (Throw it aside.) My mistake. (to the shooters) STOP THE TOMATER SLINGSHOTS!!

(They are quick to comply with this order, but through the sudden silence, a new sound is heard as of a catapult being triggered. Cut to a close-up of three hay bales hurtling through the air, then back to the Hooffield firing line. A mare is hit dead on and instantly buried, and Twilight and Fluttershy get the same treatment not long afterward; this result gets Ma’s dander up all over again.)

Ma: Reload the tomater slingshots! We’re gonna paint their mountaintop red!

(The out-of-towners poke their heads up from the mess, Twilight shaking hay off her head and Fluttershy spitting out the clump in her mouth.)

Twilight: (dryly) Well, that didn’t work. (puzzled) I was so sure it would.

(Her trusty portfolio pops out of the pile under her control, and she goes for a quick refresher as Fluttershy glances away. Cut to a tortoise frantically running for cover at top speed—which might rival that of a typical glacier—as the McColt bales rain down. One is the barest of misses, and the shelled slowpoke does a U-turn away from the impact site only to get spun in place and nearly trampled by a stampede of Hooffields. It ends up lying upside down, having retracted head/limbs/tail into its shell; when these pop out again, Fluttershy gasps in fright and is on the scene within a blink to lift and right it.)

Fluttershy: It was a good plan. (She flies the tortoise over to a bush.) We need to think of another one, and soon. (Lift the leaves to make an opening.) This fight is really affecting the animals around here.

(When it makes no immediate move toward the improvised shelter, she pushes it in and lets the foliage drop back into place.)

Twilight: Not to worry. I’ll just, uh… (Page flip; read closely for a moment, then a smile.) …find the root of the problem and work from there!

(Close the book. The McColts’ next shot takes out a barn and the jerry-built hayloft mounted above it. Ma loads a slingshot, locks her teeth onto the pouch, and backs up to fire, but Twilight and Fluttershy are now out of the hay and standing right behind her. The portfolio is within easy reach.)

Twilight: Pardon us, Ma, but do you remember what started this whole feud in the first place? (Ma lets fly and turns to face them.)

Ma: (menacingly) They know what they did.

(The entire scene pivots 180 degrees around a vertical line through its center, becoming a close-up of Big Daddy seen from the eyes up. The would-be-diplomats are facing him.)

Big Daddy: They know what they did! (Twilight grimaces as he walks between them to the wall.)

Twilight: I’m starting to think neither of you know what either of you have done!

Big Daddy: Sure we do. Them Hooffields did us a grave injustice some time ago for some reason.

McColts: Hear, hear!

Twilight: (floating up book, flipping pages) Okay, backup plan to the backup plan. (Read; smile.) Maybe we can find some common ground that you can bond over. What do you do when you’re not fighting?

Big Daddy: That’s easy. Gettin’ ready to fight!

(Pan quickly to the two now back on Hooffield turf and going over the portfolio.)

Fluttershy: (reading) “What do you hope to get out of fighting?”

(These words are addressed to Ma, who is now watching a stallion loading and preparing to fire a watermelon, using a catapult made from planks lashed to a log.)

Ma: The satisfaction of winnin’!

(Launch; pan quickly to Twilight and Fluttershy in the McColt fort, the former levitating a quill and note pages along with the book and writing a bit.)

Twilight: Of winning what?

(Meant for Big Daddy, who pounds his hoof against a nail protruding from a board.)

Big Daddy: The fight, of course! To prove our family is the best!

(Pan quickly to the pair in the pumpkin fields; Twilight’s notes have multiplied a bit.)

Fluttershy: The best at what? (Ma dumps out a basket of tomatoes for a slingshot gunner.)

Ma: Winnin’! Haven’t you been listenin’? (She shoves the basket away.)

Twilight: (to Fluttershy) So the only thing they have in common is that they both want to win a fight, and neither of them know what it’s over. How can I end this feud if I don’t know what it’s about?

(Portfolio, notes, and her face all hit the ground in a dejected scramble, but Fluttershy brightens as an inspiration strikes.)

Fluttershy: Ooh! Maybe somepony just needs to say they’re sorry! (Twilight straightens up with a smile.)

Twilight: That’s a good idea! (floating book up) And friendship solution number forty-eight—but we can move it up.

(Dissolve to a profile close-up of Twilight and Ma walking side by side, the latter harnessed to a load.)

Twilight: I’m so glad you agreed to do this.

(A longer shot reveals that “this” is a towering, three-layer carrot cake, liberally iced and studded with whole carrots and being pulled by Ma on a wagon. Fluttershy walks behind, keeping a front hoof on the edge of the platform it rests on for stability.)

Twilight: This apology cake will go a long way to making amends between you two. (floating up book, notes, quill) Which part of my argument changed your mind? The part where I said the benefits of friendship outweigh the cost of war, or the part where I said forgiveness is an investment in happiness?

Ma: (impatiently) Yeah, yeah, all of it! (Long shot behind them, tilting up; they are nearly at the fort.)

Twilight: Wait. Are you even listening to me?

(The camera motion puts her o.s. as she finishes, and the camera then cuts to the gates as they pull up.)

McColt stallion: Who goes there?

Ma: It’s Ma Hooffield!

McColt stallion: (calling o.s.) Hooffield alert! Arm the cannons!

(It takes less than a second for two such weapons—metal, with ignitable fuses—to be produced and pointed over the top of the wall, but Ma just gives them a bucktoothed smile.)

Ma: With an apology cake!

McColt stallion: (softly) Did you say “cake”? As in…

(He licks his chops hungrily; cut to a close-up of the gargantuan dessert, ringed by a heavenly glowing aura, and zoom out slowly.)

McColt stallion: (from o.s.) …cake? (The aura fades; Ma leans into view.)

Ma: Consider it a gesture of goodwill, from us to you.

(Mare 1 licks her chops as a runnel of drool works its way down from the stallion’s gaping mouth.)

McColt mare 1: (wistfully) I haven’t had cake in ages! (The drool falls loose.)

McColt stallion: Open the gates!

(The cannons are swiftly pulled down and out of sight, and the gates swing open. Twilight magically lifts the cake off the wagon and steers it inside, where it is set down on a waiting wooden sheet. McColts gather around the offering, unable to believe their eyes.)

McColt mare 2: (sniffling, wiping eyes) Oh, it’s such a beautiful cake! (Twilight and Fluttershy are now inside, standing next to it; Twilight no longer has her portfolio.)

Twilight: Think of this as more than just a cake. It’s the first step in the long road to forgiveness.

Fluttershy: Nothing says “let’s be friends” like a cake that says “Let’s Be Friends.” (aside, to a stallion) I wrote that in icing on the top.

(Her giddy grin at this admission is interrupted by a most unexpected rustling and quivering of the cake, and the top tier explodes in a burst of icing and carroty mush to show why. Three Hooffields have stowed away inside and are spoiling for a fight.)

Hooffields: FOR GLORY!!

(Hurling lumps of cake, they effectively disperse the crowd and jump down to the ground—only to be swept up in a net and suspended several feet above it. Big Daddy, up on the wall, has triggered this trap by pulling a lever.)

Big Daddy: McColts! Assume Delta Force formation!

(Ten of them gallop over and arrange themselves into a large triangle, and he races down to take a position at its leading tip. All eleven sprint in a roaring body out the gate, sending Ma into a panicked retreat and leaving Twilight and Fluttershy alone in the dust they have kicked up.)

Ma: Ready!

(Two of her family members, waiting alongside the path, each have a piece of produce impaled on a stick in their teeth—an ear of corn for one, a pineapple for the other. They brace themselves.)

Ma: Aim!

(Pan quickly to a third Hooffield on the opposite side, readying two loaded watermelon catapults, then cut to a couple of mares attending to a large platform crammed with cupcakes. One mare adds two more on the last open spot, while the other stands ready at a pedal mounted in the base. Ma slides to a stop near them.)

Ma: FIRE!! 

(A stomp on the pedal causes the platform to pop up on a spring and send its delectable payload flying. The McColt contingent slides to a stop, finding itself about to be on the very wrong end of a bombardment of items fresh from farm and oven. They squat down, holding wooden doors flat above their heads to shield themselves; one stallion is a bit slow to catch on and is struck down as the projectiles find their marks. A horde of Hooffields charges into the fray, directed by Ma, as Twilight touches down to face her.)

Twilight: Ma Hooffield! You planted ponies in that cake?!?

Ma: Yeah! (Laugh.) Wait. Were you serious about apologizin’? (A brawl has now broken out; she rushes up to Twilight.) Why in Equestria would we do that?

(The violet Princess is tossed aside like a sack of potatoes.)

Ma: (to the McColts) We didn’t do anythin’ wrong! (Big Daddy lowers his door-shield.)

Big Daddy: What are you talkin’ about? (Throw it aside.) You done so many things wrong! (Ma gets in his face.)

Ma: Not as many as you!

(Growling at each other like a pair of rabid dogs, the two family leaders start throwing hooves on the spot. Fights continue around them, involving younger stallions and mares from both sides, and the camera zooms out slowly as Twilight and Fluttershy walk despondently through the valley that has become a free-for-all. Snap to black.)

Act Three

(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of the fracas, zooming in slowly, then cut to the scene where the individual combats continue to rage. Among the chaos, one beefy McColt stallion simply shoves away the less muscular Hooffield who is trying ineffectually to push him to the ground. A squirrel darts here and there, barely avoiding both the incoming vegetable artillery and the hooves of a Hooffield mare backing up from a fight, but Fluttershy slides across the dirt to pull it to safety. Once she has set it down in a relatively calm spot, she turns two worried blue-green eyes back toward the fighting and steps between two arguing mares. One of them is Greenhoof, whom Ma cautioned against overloading the tomato slingshots in Act Two.)

Fluttershy: Um, if you could just not yell so much, or maybe stop saying words altogether…

(No go; they fall to it again, catching her up in the violence, and she crawls away only to be brought up short by a salvo of carrots.)

Fluttershy: Whoa! Twilight?

(She catches sight of her friend trudging away along the dried stream bed and gallops to intercept. Twilight sits listlessly on her haunches, bringing out the portfolio that has done nothing but let her down, and magically tears out several pages so she can ball them up and poof them away. Shutting the book, she sets it down with a defeated sigh; on the start of the next line, pan slightly to bring Fluttershy into view.)

Fluttershy: Um, Twilight? We should probably get back there. I mean, if you need a break, that’s fine, but I really can’t do this without you.

Twilight: I don’t know if we can do this at all. Even if I make things right, they’re just gonna fight again.

(A chittering noise draws Fluttershy’s focus away from the heartbroken Princess. It is coming from a rustling patch of greenery, which she lifts up to expose the cowering squirrel, a chipmunk, and a mouse. They cringe away at being bowled out, but she gives them a tender smile.)

Fluttershy: Hey, little fellas. Oh, that’s okay, you can come out.

(They do so, followed by quite a few other small cute critters who emerge from their own refuges, and Fluttershy sits down on her haunches as they gather around her. The moment of tranquility is broken by a sudden low growl or grunt.)

Twilight: What was that?

(The answer: the grumbling of the squirrel’s empty stomach. Cut to Fluttershy, who stands up and moves to get a better view of a tumbleweed blowing forlornly across the ravaged valley.)

Fluttershy: Oh, you poor things! There isn’t enough food here for you! (They hug her legs.) Oh, brrrr! (Sit down on her belly.) And you’re freezing! (draping wings around them) I’m gonna take you all home with me and get you all hot cocoas. How do you feel about book clubs?

Twilight: (from o.s.) I don’t get it.

(Longer shot and slow pan, framing both; Twilight is standing.)

Twilight: This was supposed to be the most beautiful valley in all of Equestria. What happened?

(Close-up: the squirrel clambers onto the now-standing Fluttershy’s back and squeaks in her ear.)

Fluttershy: What’s that?…Oh!…Uh-huh…Twilight! They know what happened here!

Twilight: What?

(The battle royal continues unabated as she flies up for a bird’s-eye view.)

Twilight: Stop! You have to listen to me!

(Here comes a cupcake upside the head; wiping the mess away, she decides that she has had quite enough of this culinary incivility and kick-starts her horn.)

Twilight: EVERYPONY FREEZE!!

(Her second word rings through the air as she unleashes a spell, which surges out in a magenta-edged blast of white to blank out the screen for a moment. When the view clears, every feuding pony and launched projectile is caught in her grip and stopped dead in his/her/its tracks—a souped-up version of the spell she used to calm her friends down near the end of “Castle Mane-ia.” She touches down among them, one eye squeezed shut to betray the degree of effort it is costing her to keep up the enchantment.)

Twilight: Fluttershy! You have to tell them! (Grunt.) It’s a lot harder to freeze an army of ponies than just six of them!

(Her vocal strain continues as the timid pegasus emerges from behind a bush, rising above the crowd with the squirrel on her back and the other animals watching.)

Fluttershy: (voice raised) Before you keep fighting, there is something you should know! (normal volume) Long ago, there were two best friends.

(The view undergoes a wavering dissolve to a sepia-toned close-up of a bearded earth pony stallion in straw hat and ragged overalls, walking into view. On the next line, the camera zooms out slightly to frame a second one, similarly dressed and bearded, traveling with him. The first has buck teeth and a curly two-tone mane/tail/beard, and he carries saddlebags stuffed with produce. The other’s beard/mane/tail are darker brown, two-tone and straight, and his bags are packed with boards and nails. They are, respectively…)

Fluttershy: (voice over) Grub Hooffield and Piles McColt.

(On the next line, cut to a long shot of the valley as it appeared in Twilight’s book—bustling with plant and animal life—and zoom out to put these two in the fore, trading a glance of agreement as they look on.)

Fluttershy: (voice over) When they found the valley between the Smoky Mountains, they knew it was something special. (They enter the valley.) So they made a promise to each other to protect and preserve the valley for all its adorable furry inhabitants. (Part ways for opposite sides.) But they disagreed on how to go about it.

(Cut to a close-up of several containers of fruit/vegetable seeds laid out on the ground. Pan slowly across them, then zoom out to frame Grub standing alongside; he scrapes up a bit of earth and taste-tests it, liking what he finds.)

Fluttershy: (voice over) Grub wanted to start by planting crops so that everypony would have something to eat.

(A house blueprint is lifted into view, blocking out the screen.)

Fluttershy: (voice over) But Piles thought it would be better to start by building a shelter— (Cut to him; he lowers the sheet and squints over its top edge.) —to protect them against the cold and wind.

(He beams widely; in close-up, Grub’s seeds are swept aside and several logs are dropped in their place.)

Fluttershy: (voice over) The two ponies were unable to come to an understanding. (Zoom out; Piles has his plans spread on the ground and gets a mallet in his teeth.) So Piles went ahead and built a shelter anyway—

(Here comes a shovel-toting Grub, who stops short in surprise upon finding that Piles is already working on a house frame.)

Fluttershy: (voice over) —exactly where Grub was gonna start his farm. (The spilled seeds, tilting up to Grub’s glare; shovel down.) Grub was upset. (He bucks the frame repeatedly.) So he tore down Piles’s shelter so he could plant his crops.

(The farmer trots contentedly away after it collapses, but the architect gapes at the demolition from where he has been sawing a log. Next they get into an argument from opposite sides of the stream that runs through the valley.)

Fluttershy: (voice over) They kept fighting, back and forth, until it turned into a feud.

(The straw hats are thrown into the water and begin to float away, and the two former friends turn back toward their own halves of the valley. Cut to Grub, replacement headwear already in place and all set to plant some new seeds; he gets the shovel shaft in his teeth, but the handle and blade instantly fall off. Here comes Piles, wearing a new hat of his own and with a saw over his shoulder to tell of the sabotage. As Piles pushes a wheelbarrow full of bricks with his head, the wheel pops off and rolls away, leaving the load to capsize on the ground. Grub walks past, idly tossing the bolt he has removed. Grub waters a patch of earth in close-up, causing seedlings to sprout up, but a massive log slams down to hide both him and them from view. Zoom out to frame its entire girth as he puts his head up from behind for a good look and a hostile glare toward one end, then pan to Piles as the culprit, leaning smugly on the axe he has just used to fell this tree.)

(Grub yanks down a house frame and Piles reciprocates by kicking a seed container and bucket of dirt into the stream. Cut to a long shot of the valley; a tent has been set up on the left bank of the stream for Grub, a cabin on the right for Piles, and items are being flung back and forth.)

Fluttershy: (voice over) The valley suffered from the constant destruction, until finally the Hooffields and McColts moved to separate mountains.

(As she speaks, a series of three dissolves shifts each encampment farther up its respective peak and the unconventional artillery exchange continues. At the same time, the trees slowly thin out, the stream dries up, and the valley becomes a barren waste. One last dissolve brings the action back to the present day.)

Fluttershy: (echoing slightly) Even then, the valley and all the animals in it continued to be caught in the crossfire. (Close-up.) You see, by fighting, you’re destroying the very thing that brought you here in the first place!

(During this second sentence, the camera cuts here and there among the immobilized combatants, whose eyes are the only visible sign of the contrition that has taken hold. She comes in for a landing among them, the camera zooming in slowly as the other animals gather around her hooves.)

Fluttershy: So it’s time you both put your differences aside and come together— (smiling) —if not for yourselves, then for the sake of these cute and cuddly guys!

(She gathers them all in for a hug. As Twilight strains to keep her spell in place, Ma and Big Daddy—stopped in the middle of a grapple and a mallet swing, respectively—have softened from their previous unyielding hostility. Big Daddy’s hat has fallen off.)

Big Daddy: Aw, shucks. We never meant to hurt you, little critters.

Ma: Yeah. We’re sorry. (Fluttershy straighten up; the squirrel on her back chitters in her ear.)

Fluttershy: They say they accept your apology. (Long pause.)

Big Daddy: Uh, Princess? Uh, you can un-freeze us now.

(Said Princess continues to strain through gritted teeth for a moment until his words sink in, then relaxes visibly.)

Twilight: (brightly) Oh. Right.

(The spell is released, and fighters all over the valley tumble to the ground. Ma sets Big Daddy back on his hooves, and he puts down the mallet and dons the dropped hat.)

Big Daddy: Ma Hooffield, we promise we won’t fight you no more.

Ma: Us too, except we promise not to fight you. I suppose it doesn’t matter who’s right. We’re both wrong.

Big Daddy: That’s one thing we can agree on.

(Both clan leaders spit on a front hoof and mash them together to shake. Fluttershy smiles, the squirrel informant having finally dismounted from her back, and the Hooffield stallion standing with her smiles as well in time with the animals’ noises of approval. Twilight teleports over to Ma and Big Daddy, all smiles.)

Twilight: This is wonderful! I am so proud of you two!

Ma: Oh, thanks, Princess. (pointedly, to Big Daddy) Though I would just like to point out that I was the, uh, first to admit I was wrong.

Big Daddy: (needled) That may be, but I promised not to fight first. That counts for more.

Ma: (really steamed) Oh, yeah?

(Blue and brown eyes lock, seething with rapidly growing enmity, but the camera zooms out slightly to the sound of beseeching animal noises. They have all clustered nearby and are doing their best to defuse the renewed tension—along with annoyed looks from Twilight and Fluttershy. The squirrel is now on Fluttershy’s head and yelling angrily. After a long pause, they two contenders relent.)

Ma: Oh, all right. We don’t have to speak animal to know what y’all are sayin’. (to Big Daddy) Truce.

Big Daddy: Truce.

(The Ponyville two grin at them, then each other, and the squirrel jumps off Fluttershy’s head. Dissolve to a stretch of the valley floor, now revitalized and with a full stream running through it, as members of both families come together in work and play: hauling fruit and vegetables, raising a house frame, enjoying a picnic, planting a crop. The McColt stallion and Hooffield mare on this last job shake hooves cordially as several of the critters look on with approval.)

(Three planks drop horizontally into view to cover the screen; from there, cut to another pair completing a cabin wall for an audience of one squirrel and three mice. The next shot is of two sculptures—Grub rendered as a topiary, Piles in stone—smiling and shaking hooves. Zoom out to show this work mounted atop a fountain; as a Hooffield stallion waters the surrounding hedges, a McColt mare opens a valve to start the flow.)

Big Daddy: (from o.s.) Hoo-wee! (Twilight, Fluttershy, and Ma approach the fountain.) Ain’t that a pretty sight! (He is last to appear, mostly hidden behind Ma.)

Ma: Sure is! (to Twilight) The McColts are gonna help us rebuild our homes—good ones this time.

Big Daddy: And the Hooffields are gonna help us grow some crops.

McColt stallion: (hastily) Not pumpkins! (He backs off cautiously.)

Ma: Thanks for teachin’ us that friendship is so much better than winnin’ a silly argument.

(She and Big Daddy stroll away contentedly, and the two visitors’ cutie marks flare up—mission accomplished. Cut to an extreme close-up of Fluttershy’s mark and zoom out to frame both, eyeing their haunches with surprise and then beaming at each other.)

Fluttershy: Yay! I told you we’d figure it out.

Twilight: We did. (floating portfolio up) And we didn’t need my friendship portfolio to do it. (touching Fluttershy’s chest) We just needed each other.

(They embrace for a moment as she magically dispatches the thing to who-cares-where.)

Twilight: So, what do you think’ll happen next? (floating their saddlebags over) We’ve all been called by the map now. (They land on the backs, Fluttershy again nearly being flattened by hers.)

Fluttershy: Oof! (Twilight walks off; she strains to follow.) I’m sure we’ll find out when we get home.

(They make their way toward the setting sun, one rather slower than the other, and their cutie marks have settled down again.)

Twilight: (with mounting excitement) What if it summons all six of us to another place? Or another pony we weren’t expecting? (Gasp; her voice slowly fades out.) What if it wants us to solve other kinds of problems, like quantum physics? Or why the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree?

(Fade to black.)

(The usual closing theme does not accompany the credits. In its place is the light bluegrass melody that accompanied the first portion of Fluttershy’s history lesson—acoustic guitar/slide guitar/banjo with light percussion, bright 4, in D major.)


THE MANE ATTRACTION

Written by Amy Keating Rogers

Produced by Devon Cody

Story editing by Meghan McCarthy

Consulting direction by Jayson Thiessen

Supervising direction by Jim Miller

Directed by Denny Lu

Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)

Prologue

(Opening shot: fade in to a close-up of a long staircase that arcs gracefully down from a curtained entrance. The pin spotlight shining on it from above suggests a stage, and a set piece of a giant candy apple on a stick is tipped upright with ropes to stand near the one already in place. The camera zooms out slightly to frame more of the setup: a bank of overhead spotlights, a mirrored disco ball, apples on both sides of the stairs, and Applejack directing three ponies in the heavy lifting. Rainbows and stars form the rest of the backdrop.)

(Cut to a stretch of daytime sky, where Rainbow Dash flies up with the end of a string of pennants in her teeth. She hooks it to a pole and looks across the way, where Cloudchaser is securing the other end, and Applejack smiles her satisfaction from ground level. Each pole is hung with a banner that shows a heart between two diamonds. Fluttershy and Rarity are using mouth and magic, respectively, to string bunting along the edge of a runway that projects outward from the stage. After getting the farmer’s approval, they turn to other work and she checks a clipboard held at eye level in Amethyst Star’s field. A nod, and the unicorn departs with the board as two pegasi fly a pennant string overhead and Twilight Sparkle approaches. Towers of speakers have been set up on the grass at either end of the stage, which projects from a band shell styled as a giant apple. All of this work is taking place in a meadow among the Sweet Apple Acres orchards. During this scene, various shots show more lights mounted on pennant-decorated poles that stand in the grass.) 

Twilight: Wow, Applejack! Are you sure you’ve never managed a concert before?

Applejack: Well, it turns out doin’ up a concert’s the same as settin’ up a rodeo.

Twilight: And thanks to Pinkie’s connections organizing the Ponypalooza Rock Concert— (floating up a very long scroll) —we’ve got quite a lineup for the Helping Hooves Music Festival.

[Note: She is referring to the events of the book Pinkie Pie and the Rockin’ Ponypalooza Party!]

(The bottom end of the document is shoved/crumpled upward by Pinkie Pie’s head when she straightens up into view.)

Pinkie: Twilight! Applejack! Rainbow Dash! Rarity! Fluttershy! Spike! Pinkie Pie!

(She zips to each other pony and dragon in turn as she names them—Spike relaxing on a lawn chair and reading a comic book—and ends by addressing her own reflection in close-up. A zoom out on this last reveals that she is grinning at her image in a pane of mirror glass being carried by two stallions.)

Pinkie: Oh, wait, that’s me. (The other six gather in.) Everypony!

Twilight: What is it, Pinkie?

Pinkie: I have the most amazing news ever. (She whisks to Twilight and throws a foreleg around her neck.) It is totally gonna freak your frizz!

Rainbow: Well, spill it, Pinkie!

Pinkie: (pacing past them) It wasn’t easy. In fact, it was terribly difficult. (with growing excitement) But I have managed to book the biggest pony pop star in all of Equestria as the main attraction of the Helping Hooves Music Festival!

(She finishes this line by standing right in front of Applejack and popping her hindquarters into the air, as if ready to buck a tree.)

Applejack: Sapphire Shores? (Pinkie drops back to all fours.)

Pinkie: (disdainfully) Sapphire Shores? Please! (pacing) Sapphire Shores is merely the second-biggest pony pop star in Equestria. (She stops at a distance, facing away from them.) I have booked the one, the only…

(Zoom in to a close-up as she pivots back toward the group, eyes going big and shiny.)

Pinkie: …Countess Coloratura!

(Cut to a slow pan across the other five mares—four awestruck, one not catching on.)

All others but Applejack: Ahhhh…

Applejack: Who in the hay is Countess Coloratura?

(Comes now a round of incredulous gasps from virtually every other pony on the premises, and Applejack abruptly finds herself at the center of a great many popeyed stares. Pinkie, still at a distance, shows her disbelief through her mane/tail, which pop upward from head and rump to form an even messier tangle of curls than usual.)

Pinkie: My frizz has been freaked!

(Snap to black.)

Act One

(Opening shot: fade in to Pinkie, who briefly sits down on her haunches and pulls her mane back into place as Applejack crosses to her.)

Applejack: Pinkie Pie, who is this Countess Coloratura pony?

Pinkie: (standing up, fixing tail, scoffing) I just told you that she’s the biggest pony pop star in Equestria! How, how, how, how, how have you not heard of her?

(She punctuates each “how” by leaning closer to Applejack and pushing/tipping her backward until she is on her back, with Pinkie standing on her belly to stare her down at point-blank range. The apple expert is not fazed in the slightest.)

Applejack: Don’t know. (pushing Pinkie off, standing up) Though I did know a gal named Coloratura when I was just a filly. (snorting laughter, to Twilight/Rarity) Wouldn’t it just be the funniest thing if that Coloratura and this Coloratura were the same Coloratura?

(She finishes this line by transferring her attention to Pinkie, who responds to her final chuckle with an icy glare.)

Pinkie: (stepping closer) Do you mean to tell me that you actually know Countess Coloratura?

Applejack: (pacing) Well, I don’t think it’s the same pony, since my friend wasn’t any sorta highfalutin countess.

Pinkie: Do you remember her cutie mark?

Applejack: Sure do. It had this super-colorful buncha musical notes that just shimmered in the light.

Pinkie: You mean…like this?!?

(She punctuates the last two words by pivoting 180 degrees to bring her left flank, which has been turned away from the camera, into view. Taped over the three balloons on this haunch is a photograph, and a quick zoom in frames a pale grayish-green haunch with a mark of a yellow star from which five eighth notes in different colors protrude. A black spiked band encircles the base of a three-tone, dark gray tail, and the ragged hem of a dark purple garment with lighter streaks is also visible. Cut to frame both ponies, Pinkie aiming an irritated hoof at the picture as Applejack takes it in with a smile of recognition.)

Applejack: Well, fancy that! That there’s the very same cutie mark!

Pinkie: Do you have any idea the number of hoops I had to jump through to get her to perform at the festival?

(This time, she underscores her vexation by turning back to Applejack and—with only the bare minimum of forward motion—stretching her neck as if it were made of rubber until she can glare down at her friend. Applejack collapses to her haunches, shrinking into herself until her hat falls off, and can only shake her head timidly. The elastic mare snaps back, falling to her own haunches as Applejack stands up.)

Pinkie: A whole lot of hoops! That pony is very demanding!

Applejack: Naw. (Pinkie stands up.)

Pinkie: (mimicking her) Y-aww! (Cut to Twilight and Rarity.)

Rarity: I completely understand. We artistes require certain necessities in order to do our best work. (Close-up of Applejack; her hat is back on.)

Applejack: This was clearly some sorta misunderstandin’, ’cause Ra-Ra was just as down-home as me. (Zoom out to frame the other five mares, Spike, and a few more ponies.)

Crowd: Ra-Ra?!?

Applejack: Even that big name was too fancy for her, so I shortened “Colo-ra-tu-ra” to “Ra-Ra.”

(The scene undergoes a wavering dissolve to a lakeside camp for foals: cabins, canoe with dock, flagpole. Youngsters play in the water and on the shore as the camera zooms in slowly. On the start of the next line, cut to four of them engaged in a tug-of-war, all in khaki shirts and red neckerchiefs. A young Applejack is at one end, paired with an earth pony filly whose coat, mane/tail colors, and cutie mark give her away as Coloratura. The mane and tail are three shades of dark gray and styled in loose corkscrews, and the eyes are a deep blue-green. She and Applejack wear khaki caps, as does one of their two opponents, and a mud pit stands between the teams.)

Applejack: (voice over) We had the best time at Camp Friendship.

(A hard yank deposits Filly AJ and Filly CO in the muck, but they come up smiling.)

Applejack: (voice over) Ra-Ra was just so easygoin’. (They gallop off the dock and dive into the lake.) We were like two apples from the same branch.

(Both heads break the surface, soaked but clean of mud, and they get into a splash fight. From here, dissolve to a stage on which an acoustic guitar rests in a stand. Filly AJ and Filly CO are up here, now dry and stepping to the edge for an audience of campers and counselors gathered around a fire.)

Applejack: (voice over) Ra-Ra and I prepared this song for the camp talent show. (Filly AJ picks up the guitar and sits on her haunches.) When we performed— (Close-up; Filly CO’s face betrays her jitters.) —she belted it out, singin’ in the most colorful, clear voice I’d ever heard.

Quiet acoustic guitar melody, lively 4 (E flat major)

Filly CO:                Equestria, the land I love

                        A land of harmony

(Slow pan across the other foals, who gradually stop whatever they are doing and pay rapt attention.)

                        Our flag does wave from high above

(Her cutie mark emits a gleam of yellow light, its reflection playing in the pupils of her stunned accompanist.)

                        For ponykind to see

Much stronger vocals (A flat major)

(The glow fades away.)

Filly CO:                Equestria, a land of friends

                        Where ponykind do roam

                        They say true friendship never ends

                        Equestria, my home

Song ends

(Setting down the guitar, Filly AJ turns to an iron triangle hanging from a nearby pole and rings it once with a striker rod in her teeth. There follows a round of appreciative reactions from the campers, and Filly CO’s eyes fill with happy tears as she and Filly AJ trade grins and embrace.)

Applejack: (voice over) After camp, we wrote to each other for a bit, but—

(A wavering dissolve begins during this line and shifts the action back to the present.)

Applejack: —then we lost touch. (smiling) But Ra-Ra always did want to go to Manehattan to try and make it big. (puzzled) But a demandin’ diva?

(She shakes her head a bit, as if trying to dislodge that concept from the neurons under the blond mane and brown hat, then smiles.)

Applejack: Just you wait, Pinkie. Once Ra-Ra gets here— (foreleg across Pinkie’s shoulders) —you’ll see she’s just a plain old pony like you and me. (All other eyes pop in surprise.)

Pinkie: I don’t have to wait. (eyes shining) She’s here!

Applejack: Really?

(Coming over the last rise is a colossal brown crystal with a cluster of smaller ones near its upper end, carried on poles by a quartet of earth pony stallions. Manes and tails are cut short, all four wear dark gray vests with studs along the edges, and one also sports matching bands on his forelegs. The most unconventional vehicle is set down, and jets of steam hiss out from the edges between the front faces before they fold outward, one of them becoming a set of steps. Brilliant yellow light spills over the grass, silhouetting a figure within as it reclines on a couch; behind it is a backdrop panel decorated with Coloratura’s cutie mark. Banks of speakers pop out from the base on either side, and yellow panels emerge from the rear to form a stylized starburst.)

(The shadowy figure stands up on the couch, showing a mane tied into a high ponytail and a tail tied at the base. Both are straight, the tail dragging the ground and the mane nearly doing likewise. As the figure steps forward, the camera cut to an extreme close-up of four pale grayish-green hooves, the front two adorned with spiked bands, matching sleeve cuffs attached to a purple garment, and blue bracelets. The end of the mane waves into view as well—white, with streaks of violet, light pink, and pale pinkish-blue—and the camera zooms out to frame the owner of these body parts in full detail upon reaching the ground. The garment is a jacket with studs along its hem and upturned collar, over a blue top; she wears studded and blue necklaces to match her foreleg accessories, heavy black eyeliner/mascara, and a translucent, dark gray veil over her nearly emotionless face. Only the eye/coat colors and cutie mark give any hint that this is the same Coloratura who went to camp with Applejack as a filly. The streaks in her tail run down the side nearest her rump, and only the violet mane streak is visible throughout its entire thickness; its other streaks are only on the interior surface facing her body. She tosses her head, flipping her ponytail from one side to the other, and all the spectators except Applejack look fit to burst with excitement. Zoom in slowly.)

Applejack: (dumbfounded) Ra-Ra?

(Snap to black.)

Act Two

(Opening shot: fade in to the tableau of Coloratura facing the crowd. Her conveyance glimmers silently in the background for a long moment before Pinkie goes into a peal of ecstatic squealing and laughter, falling to her haunches and instantly bounding up to her hind legs. She has removed the photo of Coloratura’s cutie mark from her left haunch.)

Pinkie: Countess Coloratura!

(Those two words are about all she manages to get out before going over in a dead faint. Now a pale bluish-white, bespectacled earth pony stallion with brown eyes strides imperiously through the gathering. Seen in profile from the knees/hocks up, he has a curly mane/tail that show two shades of light pink and are carefully trimmed and styled, and he has heavy eyebrows and wears a blue suit over a white shirt, red necktie, and yellow vest. This is Svengallop, whose voice manages to be both overbearing and slightly effeminate at the same time. Behind him comes Coloratura, with a litter-carrier ahead and behind. During the next line, each of these four bounces briefly upward at the same point, generating a series of squeaks that marks the contact of hooves on the supine Pinkie.)

Svengallop: Clear the way! Step back! Keep your hooves and tails to yourselves! (Flashbulbs pop.)

Applejack: (softly, to herself) No. That can’t be her.

(Cut to just in front of the stage, where Coloratura and Svengallop have stopped to survey the facilities. The sound of Applejack’s throat clearing catches their ears; zoom out to frame her now standing alongside.)

Applejack: (to Coloratura) Um, hi. Remember me? We met at Camp Friendship? I-I gave you the nickname “Ra-Ra”?

(The veiled face scrunches in thought, then breaks into a smile.)

Coloratura: AJ?

Applejack: Yeah! (Chuckle.) Howdy, Ra-Ra!

(Svengallop whispers in Coloratura’s ear for a second; the pop star nods in silent assent, then pokes a front hoof against Applejack’s cheek. When the appendage is withdrawn, there is a horseshoe imprinted below one green eye in red ink—due to the rubber stamp Coloratura has attached to her hoof. Svengallop holds an ink pad at the ready.)

Coloratura: Hoofsies! (Giggle.)

(Lowering the pad, Svengallop gestures in another direction and Coloratura follows.)

Rarity: (from o.s.) Ooh! (Pan slightly to frame her coming up to nudge Applejack knowingly.) You got hoofsies from Countess Coloratura!

(Close-up of Applejack; a hand mirror is levitated under Rarity’s control so she can see the mark clearly.)

Rarity: (from o.s.) Look! (Mirror down; zoom out to frame her. Giddy little squeal.) She clearly thinks you’re very special!

Coloratura: (from o.s.) Hoofsies!

(Cut to her, standing at the head of a line of mares; Svengallop has the ink pad out again.)

Coloratura: (stamping Lyra’s cheek, then another mare’s) Hoofsies! Hoofsies! (Giggle.)

Applejack: (to herself, dryly, rubbing hers clean) Yeah. Real special.

(Coloratura administers one more, after which one litter-carrier moves up to cut off the line. Svengallop has put away the ink pad.)

Svengallop: (removing/tossing stamp, leading her off) Now that’s how you make an entrance! Big! Bold! Absolutely stunning! (dismissively, rolling eyes) Though it was muddied a bit with your interaction with that dusty farm pony. Do you actually know her?

Coloratura: Oh, yeah! That’s my childhood filly-friend AJ. She was the one that started calling me Ra-Ra.

Svengallop: Oh, yes. How cute and… (disgustedly) …common. (haughtily) Of course, I was the one that started calling you “Countess,” and just look at how you’ve moved up in Equestria since then. Why— (Close-up of Coloratura; zooming in slowly; he continues o.s.) —you’ve gotten everything you’ve ever wanted, hmm?

(Cut to frame both again; he looks off behind himself.)

Svengallop: Speaking of which— (stomping impatiently) —where is the pony Pinkie Pie?

Pinkie: (from o.s.) Ooh! (She trots up, pulling a wagon loaded with goodies.) I’m the pony Pinkie Pie, Mr. Manager, sir!

Svengallop: Do you have the water imported from Rainbow Falls that I requested for Countess Coloratura?

Pinkie: (holding up a crate of bottles) I have twenty glass containers full, right here. (He takes a close look, then grimaces.)

Svengallop: Did I not tell you to provide straws in all of Countess Coloratura’s beverages?

Pinkie: Uh, I don’t think so. (She sets the crate down and smiles.) But lucky for you, I have the biggest straw collection in Equestria! (pulling a flexible straw from her mane) I call this straw… (Extreme close-up of it; she continues o.s.) …Fernando.

(She waggles her eyebrows knowingly at the less-than-impressed manager, who trots past her to check over the rest of the wagon. The camera pans to follow him toward the rear, putting Pinkie out of view.)

Svengallop: Hmph. Let us confirm that you acquired the rest of the items that Countess Coloratura requested before she performs her run-through, shall we? (She pops out from this end, having unhooked herself and ditched the straw.)

Pinkie: Ooh! We shall! (Close-up of a vase of flowers.)

Svengallop: (from o.s., pointing to it) Floral arrangements from the Royal Canterlot Gardens…

(Pan to him, opening a glass case to expose a stack of éclairs within.)

Svengallop: …chocolate éclairs made by Gustave LeGrand… (peering at a bowl of jewels) …a selection of crystals from the Crystal Empire…

(Close-up of two bowls of cherries, one full of red fruit, the other yellow.)

Svengallop: (standing up into view behind them) …freshly picked cherries from Cherry Jubilee’s farm, separated red from yellow?

Pinkie: Abso-tutely!

Svengallop: (to Coloratura, crossing to her) Well, by some miracle, your requests have been reasonably met, so let us move on. To rehearsal!

(These two trot purposefully away, Pinkie stopping briefly as she follows, having harnessed herself to the wagon again.)

Pinkie: See, Applejack? (singsong) Demanding! (Pan to Applejack and Rarity.)

Applejack: Pinkie’s right, Rarity. The Ra-Ra I knew didn’t hide behind a veil, givin’ out fake stamp kisses, sippin’ up imported water, and needin’ her cherries separated.

Rarity: Oh, I do understand. Sometimes it’s hard to see our friends change.

Applejack: She’s become a whole other pony!

Rarity: Trust me. (gesturing toward stage) Once you see Countess Coloratura perform, you simply won’t believe it!

(Cut to a dimly lit backstage area, with a sliver of sky visible beyond part of the backdrop. At Svengallop’s impatient beckoning, three of the litter-carriers fall in line before him. He glances toward the opening, and the view fades to black.)

Staccato synthesizer chords accented by bass/snare drum beats, fast 4 (D flat minor)

(The lights pulse on and off, illuminating the stage as Coloratura emerges at the top of its staircase. She tosses her head to flip her ponytail back and forth as she descends toward the fog-machine mist that billows everywhere.)

Coloratura:                Time for the spectacle, time for the show

                        The lights are bright and the colors glow

Closed hi-hat in

                        I’m not just anypony, I think you know

                        The time is now, it’s about to blow

(Pillars of flame roar up on either side and lasers sweep the air, her mane/tail blowing straight up due to air nozzles set into the stage. The lights come up full at this point, with a scatter of spotlights flaring like flashbulbs, and her voice becomes electronically distorted and stutters with the music. Fade to black for an instant.)

Thumping synth dance melody with drums

(A flash, and the view fades in to the three litter-carriers who were backstage with Svengallop, now acting as backup dancers. The fourth is on the other side of the stage, along with two more earth pony stallions in similar attire.)

Coloratura:                Razzle-dazzle, glitz and glam

                        Turn it all up, it’s a spectacle

(Brief stutter on the end of this line. She is briefly lost under a burst of fog.)

                        Razzle-dazzle, glitz and glam

                        Turn it all up

A cappella

It’s a spectacle

Music resumes

(The lighting effects throw sparkles over the apple/star/rainbow backdrop.)

                        Give me more razzle-dazzle

                        Glitter eyes, big surprise, lights, cameras

(A costumed, heavily made-up unicorn stallion fires a spell onto her throat, causing her next long, held-out phrase to take on the electronic warble and stutter again over four bars. The six backup dancer stallions continue to do their thing.)

Coloratura:                Razzle-dazzle, glitz and glam

                        Turn it all up, it’s a spectacle

(Brief stutter on the end of this line.)

                        Hear the applause, here to impress

                        Not just a pony

A cappella

(Zoom in to a close-up as she holds her final pose.)

                        I am the Countess

Song ends

(Cheers and whoops erupt from o.s. Fade to black, then in to the jubilant spectators and the very gobsmacked Applejack. Zoom in to a close-up.)

Applejack: Rarity was right. I don’t believe it.

(Onstage, the backup dancers exit toward the wings as Svengallop approaches Coloratura. The special effects have been shut off.)

Svengallop: Oh, my shining star! Thanks to the sparkling costumes, dazzling choreography, and brilliant vocal effects that I designed— (Laugh.) —your performance was spectacular, Countess Coloratura!

Coloratura: (chuckling nervously) Oh, thank you, Svengallop!

(As she speaks, the camera pans/zooms out to put her out of view and frame Applejack. The slight frown on the orange-tan face broadcasts her discomfort all too clearly as she turns to Rarity.)

Applejack: Correct me if I’m wrong here, but that feller isn’t actually complimentin’ Ra-Ra. He’s complimentin’ all the bells and whistles he’s piled on to make her Countess Coloratura.

Rarity: (airily) Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You don’t understand, Applejack. Creating all those elements is a lot of work, and Countess Coloratura’s performance wouldn’t exist without them.

Applejack: (walking away) If you ask me, that wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing.

(The fashion-forward unicorn has no immediate response. Cut to Coloratura and Svengallop.)

Coloratura: (wearily) Oh, if we’re all done here, I’d love to go back to my trailer and rest, Svengallop. (Zoom out quickly; Pinkie stands behind Svengallop, holding a clipboard. She is free of her wagon.)

Pinkie: Actually, right now you’re scheduled for your meet-and-greet with the school ponies.

Svengallop: (groaning) I can totally get you out of meeting with the school ponies, Countess.

(On the end of this line, the camera pans slightly to show Applejack watching from just beyond the runway’s end, and the focus shifts to clearly show her disbelief at his words. In close-up, her face rearranges into a mid-level grimace.)

Coloratura: (from o.s.) Absolutely not! (Applejack smiles broadly; back to the pair.) My favorite part of any event is meeting with the school ponies.

Applejack: (from o.s.) The school ponies’ll be so happy to hear that, Ra-Ra.

(Zoom out on the end of this to frame her, now up onstage to lead her away. Both mares completely miss the disapproving glare originating from behind Svengallop’s lenses. Cut to a small stage set up not far from the main barn at Sweet Apple Acres, with a simplified version of the full-scale backdrop. A table has been set up with a quill and inkwell for autographs, and Coloratura stands among a crowd of school-age foals that includes the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Photo Finish stands near the stage, one camera set up on a tripod and a second around her neck; each goes off as the camera zooms in slowly during the next line. Coloratura is in much better spirits than she was immediately following the rehearsal.)

Coloratura: Ponyville school ponies! As part of the Helping Hooves Music Festival, I’m holding a contest where some of you will get a chance to sing with me onstage at the concert tomorrow! Sound fun?

(Close-up of her on the second half of this; Sweetie Belle and a colt step up, and she puts a foreleg around each one’s neck. Their classmates cheer and whoop it up as both Photo and Featherweight snap pictures.)

Coloratura: All right! Now who wants more hoofsies?

(As she finishes, the camera pans away from the stage to show Applejack looking on with a relieved smile. More shutter clicks and cheers are heard.)

Applejack: Now that’s more like the Ra-Ra I remember.

Pinkie: (from o.s., pleadingly) But…I got everything you requested!

(The workhorse looks behind herself, catching sight of Pinkie and Svengallop beyond a horseshoe-shaped hedge arch. Pinkie has put away her clipboard.)

Svengallop: That was for Countess Coloratura. This is for me! And what I want is premium oats!

Pinkie: (brightening) Oh! Well, we have lots of tasty oats right here in Ponyville.

(Cut to Svengallop on the end of this; a plate of the grains in question is held up to him, but he is far from pleased.)

Svengallop: (knocking them away) I would not feed those to a chicken! (They are all over Pinkie’s mane/tail, the plate in her mane. He circles around her.) I want top-of-the-line Appleloosan oats!

(Zoom out to put Applejack in the fore, eavesdropping from behind the arch.)

 

Svengallop: Next, it appears that we are surrounded by apple trees.

(Close-up of the listener during this line, face twisting into a very dirty look, the back to the manager and temporary flunky—her mane/tail now clean.)

Svengallop: Bring me five hundred pre-peeled, pre-cored apples, and I want those things in twenty-four hours!

(Zoom in quickly to a close-up of Pinkie as her face falls and her eyes go big and sad.)

Pinkie: But that’s impossible! (He leans into her face.)

Svengallop: Do you want me to pull Countess Coloratura from your little podunk charity show? Because I will!

(Giving her one last withering glare, he struts off. Here comes Applejack.)

Pinkie: Applejack, Svengallop just made all of these new demands and he said—

Applejack: I heard, Pinkie, but don’t you fret. (smiling, looking toward foals’ stage; zoom in on it) I’ll talk to Ra-Ra and fix things right up.

(At the scene, she steps up just in time for Apple Bloom to gallop excitedly toward her. Coloratura follows at a more sedate pace, then Scootaloo and Sweetie.)

Bloom: Did you see, sis? Did you see?  

Coloratura: Is this the little sister you wrote to me about, AJ?

Bloom: Hold on, Applejack. You wrote to Countess Coloratura…about me?!? (Close-up of Coloratura.)

Coloratura: AJ said you were the best little sister ever, Apple Bloom.

(Zoom out quickly to put all three Crusaders in view around her. Jaws drop, eyes bug out, powers of speech are lost, and Bloom thoroughly fails to respond to Applejack’s hoof waving in front of her face.)

Applejack: (laughing a bit) All right now. (closing Bloom’s mouth; all three start to move) You best get along, little ponies.

(As the Crusaders leave the stage, Bloom chooses to do so in reverse so she can keep her admiring eyes fixed on the veiled pop star. Sweetie follows suit and Scootaloo swivels her head to maintain her gaze, prompting a giggle from Coloratura in close-up.)

Applejack: (from o.s.) Uh…hey, Ra-Ra? (Zoom out to frame her approaching as she continues.) You mind if I talk to you about your manager?

Coloratura: Sure. What about him?

Applejack: (scratching back of neck) Well, while you were meetin’ with the school ponies, he was demandin’ all sorts of stuff from Pinkie Pie.

Coloratura: Svengallop works very hard as my manager, AJ, so if he needs some things when we’re on the road, I-I don’t see anything wrong with that.

Applejack: Well, do you see somethin’ wrong with him tellin’ Pinkie that if she doesn’t get those things by tomorrow, he’d pull you from our charity festival?

Coloratura: (taken aback) What? But…he knows how important charity is to me, and leaving the festival would completely ruin my image.

Applejack: I’m afraid Svengallop doesn’t give a pickled pippin about your charity work.  

Coloratura: (needled) That’s not true! Svengallop has always supported me in all my interests. (leaning toward Applejack) You’re just saying those things because you’re jealous.

Applejack: Jealous of what? (flicking Coloratura’s veil) A pony who hides behind a veil so thick, she can’t see when somepony’s usin’ her? (chuckilng dryly) No, I’m not jealous of that, Ra-Ra!

Coloratura: I am not Ra-Ra! I am Countess Coloratura! And while we may have been friends when we were young— (walking away) —we have clearly gone in different directions!

(Cut to a close-up of Applejack and zoom out slowly as concern and sadness mingle in her eyes, then snap to black.)

Act Three

(Opening shot: fade in to a close-up of a device set on the ground just outside the Sweet Apple Acres barn. It consists of an upside-down bucket with a spike extending upward from the bottom, a pair of bicycle pedals on the sides, and a blade on a post that angles slightly toward the spike. A pile of apples lies nearby, and Applejack impales one on the spike and works the pedals, turning the apple so that the blade removes the skin. Tilt up to her severely disgruntled expression.)

Applejack: It just ain’t right! He’s manipulatin’ her, and she’s just not seein’ it! (Pinkie leans into view, apple slices and bits embedded in her uncombed mane.)

Pinkie: Enough stewin’.

(Longer shot: her tail is in as sorry a state, and two piles of peeled apples are in the barnyard—one cored, the other not. She holds an un-cored one over a second device: cylindrical, with a pedal on each side and the top of a shaft just visible within.)

Pinkie: (tossing apple onto shaft) More peelin’!

(A press on the pedals causes the shaft to retract into the rig; when she steps off, the cored apple is ejected into the pile of finished goods. Applejack stops her peeling work and stands up.)

Applejack: Sorry, Pinkie, but there is no way I’m lettin’ that lousy Svengallop use my friend like that!

(As she strides off across the yard, Pinkie lets go with a dispirited moan and collapses into the mass of peeled, un-cored apples. Wipe to the edge of the main stage; Applejack walks up as Coloratura signals to two of her backup dancers.)

Applejack: (voice raised) Countess Coloratura! (Who turns to her with a smile.)

Coloratura: Wow, AJ! You said my real name.

Applejack: (normal volume) I said your new name, but I saw the real you hangin’ out with those school ponies yesterday. (Coloratura moves a bit closer.) And I know somepony that’d prefer if you stopped doin’ those little events.

Coloratura: (groaning) Not this again.

Applejack: Come on now. You just gotta give me a chance to prove what I’m sayin’ is true.

Coloratura: And just how are you going to do that?

Applejack: Do exactly what I say. We’ll see if that Svengallop truly has your best interests at heart.

(Cut to a close-up of Coloratura on the end of this, her heavily made-up eyes rolling as if to say, “The things I put up with.” A dissolve shifts the view to a point several feet above ground, the camera aimed at the tracts of apple trees as two spotlights are magically maneuvered through the air. Pan to follow them toward the stage.)

Coloratura: (from o.s.) Svengallop?

(The pan stops; she is addressing the wings, Rarity is levitating the equipment, and Fluttershy and Rainbow are moving a strip of bunting into position up top as Twilight directs them. Big Macintosh steps behind one of the speaker towers.)

Coloratura: Svengallop? Where are you, Svengallop? (He leaps into view, all smiles.)

Svengallop: Here I am! Did you need something?

Coloratura: (hesitantly) Yes. I was…considering…m-maybe canceling the contest with the school ponies?

Svengallop: (beaming, adjusting collar) Countess, this is wonderful! I’ve been waiting forever for you to cancel that pointless school pony contest.

Coloratura: You…have?

Svengallop: (scornfully) You do it at every charity event and it does absolutely nothing to promote the Countess Coloratura image that I built! (Chuckle.) Consider it canceled. (addressing himself toward the wings) Pinkie Pie!

(The normally perky pink party pony zips into view, gasping for breath and with her mane/tail still an apple-spattered mess.)

Pinkie: Yes, Svengallop, sir? (She coughs up an apple core.)

Svengallop: We are making some adjustments to the show. (walking past her) Follow me.

(As Pinkie does so, Coloratura aims an apprehensive look over the grass. Now standing out here at close range, Applejack just smiles and nods before pivoting to throw a hoof signal to Twilight, who has taken up a hovering position just past one end of the stage. The winged unicorn acknowledges and flies out of sight behind the display; cut to an overhead shot of the backstage area as she stealthily eases into view with horn aglow. A trailer is parked back here, and scenery flats are stacked up near a tented annex meant to serve as the performers’ entrance. A makeup counter with mirror has been set up out here as well. Svengallop steps into view from behind the trailer, followed by Pinkie; the latter stumbles and falls, and the camera cuts to a close-up of him as she stands.)

Svengallop: Cancel the contest for the fillies and schedule me a spa treatment. Now that I don’t have to oversee a rehearsal with those brats— (adjusting collar, fluffing mane) —I have time for the works. (Chuckle; he glowers toward Pinkie.) You know the drill. Deliver, or the diva ditches your dippy charity!

(He straightens up with a smug little smile; cut to a visibly displeased Coloratura on the runway as he walks out to her.)

Svengallop: (cheerfully) Okay, Countess Coloratura. All taken care of. (The sound system crackles to life.)

Voice of Svengallop: (on speakers) You know the drill.

(Hearing his own words being broadcast in public is enough to scare the daylights out of him. Cut to just behind the two ponies, facing the stage—on which a giant projection screen has now been hung up, covering most of the backdrop. Twilight’s spell is playing over the screen, giving a bird’s-eye view of Svengallop’s browbeating, and every equine watching it is either disbelieving or disgusted.)

Svengallop: (in playback) Deliver, or the diva ditches your dippy charity!

Coloratura: (voice breaking a bit) So that’s how you’ve been managing things?

Svengallop: Yeah, so, what’s the problem?

Coloratura: (advancing on him, slowly building anger) The problem is, is you’ve been using my name to intimidate ponies to get what you want! (Stomp.)

Svengallop: But I work incredibly hard for you! I deserve everything I get!

Coloratura: But not because you scare ponies into thinking I won’t perform for their charities otherwise! I would never do that to my fans—which is why you should have known that I would never cancel the school ponies’ contest! (She adds a stomp for emphasis on the second “never.”)

Svengallop: (circling around her) Hmph. All this charity and school pony contest nonsense is just remnants of that boring little Ra-Ra I met back in Manehattan!

Coloratura: You clearly don’t understand the real me! (She throws her veil back.)

Svengallop: Heh! That’s a joke! (circling again) I made you somepony! What can you even do without me? Good luck, Countess Coloratura! (viciously) Good luck!

(He heads for the wings, nose turned up over an expression of the purest contempt, as Applejack walks on to console the instantly despondent performer.)

Applejack: Oh, Ra-Ra, I’m so sorry. Are you gonna be okay for the concert tonight?

Coloratura: (smiling weakly) Of course. After all— (Zoom in to a close-up.) —the show must go on.

(Cut to a close-up of her distraught reflection in the mirror of the backstage makeup counter. She has dialed back the eye makeup by several notches, and her mane/tail are now dyed in several shades of purple, done in an artfully messy wave, and set with small blue gems. The tail is bound with a feathered clip, and she wears a similarly styled purple top with feathers above each eye and a flower brooch at her throat. The evening sky is visible behind her.)

Coloratura: Oh my gosh, Rarity.

(Zoom out slightly as she begins to trot back and forth, exposing Rarity’s image in the glass; the unicorn uses her magic to steer a small “fascinator” hat after her. The motion reveals jeweled, silver-tipped purple shoes on all four hooves.)

Coloratura: Svengallop’s right! This is gonna be a disaster! I’m gonna be terrible! (Applejack, reflected in the mirror, approaches Rarity.)

Applejack: Can you give us a minute, Rarity?

Rarity: Certainly.

(She and her image both exit the vicinity, taking the fascinator, and Applejack starts to move. Cut to a longer shot of the backstage area, framing the two old friends. Coloratura’s shoes can now be fully seen as platforms.)

Applejack: Now, why’s it gonna be so terrible?

Coloratura: Because Svengallop was in charge of everything. The lights, the visuals, the sound. Without Svengallop, I have nothing!

Applejack: Now, now, don’t go gettin’ yourself into a tizzy there, Ra-Ra. (pacing past mirror; Coloratura follows) Svengallop turned you into Countess Coloratura and acted like your friend so he could enjoy the perks that came with bein’ a star. But the real perk of friendship is gettin’ to see your friend bein’ true to theirself.

(Close-up of the mirror; which already shows Coloratura’s uncertain visage in profile. Applejack’s reassuring one emerges from beyond the opposite edge.)

Applejack: And Ra-Ra, when you’re simply yourself, you’re the brightest star I’ve ever seen shine.

(The performer’s mouth curves up into a small smile at these words, and Applejack backs off to give her a bit of space to think. Zoom in slightly and dissolve to a patch of starry night sky, then tilt down to a long shot of the stage and the capacity crowd eagerly waiting for the main event. A curtain has been drawn closed to leave only the edge and the runway visible beyond the band shell, and a spotlight flicks on to pick out Twilight as she emerges to a round of applause. The projection screen that she and her friends used to expose Svengallop’s improprieties has been removed.)

Twilight: (amplified) Good evening, everypony! (Close-up.) Welcome to opening night of the Helping Hooves Music Festival! Now it my great honor to introduce you to our headlining act— (backing off to one side; spot follows) —Countess Coloratura!

(To a fresh swell of applause, the curtain opens to reveal an opaque fabric scrim, in front of which a grand piano has been placed with Coloratura standing at the keys. The original stage setup can be dimly discerned through the cloth. Zoom in slowly as a second spot illuminates Coloratura fully: simple, sleeveless, dark gray dress with a lace-trimmed collar and translucent skirt, eye makeup and feathers removed, no shoes, mane/tail back to their natural three-tone dark gray and styled in the corkscrews she wore as a filly, without the added gems. The only significant change from then to now is that her eyebrows have thickened a bit. Any trace of her over-the-top Countess persona is gone from her voice and bearing.)

Coloratura: (amplified) This song may be familiar, but yet it’s totally different—kind of like me, Ra-Ra.

(Puzzled murmurs ripple through the crowd before the camera cuts to a long shot of the stage. Zoom in slowly as she begins to play; the audience has now gone completely silent.)

Quiet piano melody, brisk 4 (A flat major)

(A series of dissolves/pans frames her from various angles at closer range.)

Coloratura:                I’m here to show you who I am

                        Throw off the veil, it’s finally time

Strings in

                        There’s more to me than glitz and glam, oh

                        And now I feel my stars align

(One by one, unicorns in the audience kindle spots of light at the tips of their horns in a silent salute. Behind the scrim, the faint silhouettes of a backing orchestra slowly rise into view on a hidden platform.)

Vocals build power

Coloratura:                For I had believed what I was sold

                        I did all the things that I was told

                        But all that has changed and now I’m bold ’cause I know

(The lights behind the scrim come up to clearly frame the musicians’ outlines: violins, cellos, guitar, harps, conductor.)

                        That I am just a pony

                        I make mistakes from time to time

                        But now I know the real me

                        And put my heart out on the line

                        And let the magic in my heart stay true

(She stretches “true” out into a two-bar phrase.)

                        And let the magic in my heart stay true

(Again; cut to the Crusaders in the audience, gathering into a three-way nuzzle.)

                        Just like the magic inside of you

Intensity builds

(The stage again.)

Coloratura:                And now I see those colors

Right before my eyes

                        I hear my voice so clearly

And I know that it is right

                        I thought I was weak, but I am strong

                        They sold me the world, but they were wrong

                        And now that I’m back, I still belong ’cause I know

(Zoom in to an extreme close-up of her cutie mark, which blazes up just as it did when she sang at Camp Friendship, then cut to a long shot of the stage and zoom out as the audience erupts in applause.)

                        That I am just a pony

                        I make mistakes from time to time

(The Crusaders are right in the thick of it; behind them, enough of Pinkie’s mane is in view to show that she has managed to clean herself up from apple-peeling/coring marathon.)

                        But now I know the real me

(Applejack’s eyes slowly fill with joyful tears as the camera zooms in slowly on her.)

                        And put my heart out on the line

(The stage again; Coloratura’s mark and the audience go quiet again, and her own tears flow unchecked.)

                        And let the magic in my heart stay true

(Two-bar phrase on “true.”)

                        And let the magic in my heart stay true

(Again.)

                        Just like the magic inside of you

Much softer

(The orchestra is lowered out of sight.)

                        Just like the magic inside of you

Song ends on a held-out note and chord

                

(Zoom in slowly to a close-up of Coloratura as the music dies away. The moment she takes her front hooves off the piano keys and drops to all fours, she is met with a thunderous round of cheers and applause. She steps away from the instrument and along the runway, the spotlight following.)

Coloratura: (amplified, voice trembling) Thank you, everypony! (Crowd quiets down.) When I arrived at the Helping Hooves Music Festival, I had forgotten who I really was. (gesturing to one side) But then an old friend reminded me what real friendship is about, and she told me that if I was true to myself, I couldn’t go wrong.

(During the first half of this last sentence, the camera cuts to Twilight and company, gathered behind the Crusaders alongside the runway, and zooms in on Applejack. Smiling eyes turn her way as the full weight of the star’s words sinks in. For the second half of the sentence, cut to just behind the cowboy-hatted head to frame Coloratura looking directly at her.)

Coloratura: (amplified) So I have a very special surprise for her. (Cut to the Crusaders; she continues o.s.) Apple Bloom? Sweetie Belle? Scootaloo? Come on up!

(They gallop toward the stage as the grown mares look on warmly, and are front and center with her in a blink as a second spotlight kicks on to illuminate the entire tableau.)

Same melody as her song in Applejack’s Act One flashback

Quiet piano/string/acoustic guitar arrangement with glockenspiel accents

Lively 4 (E flat major)

(A giant flag of Equestria is lowered behind them to cover the scrim, as seen in “Hearth’s Warming Eve” and “Hearthbreakers.”)

Coloratura, Crusaders:        Equestria, the land I love

                        A land of harmony

                                Our flag does wave from high above

                                For ponykind to see

Brass/percussion in; stronger vocals (A flat major)

(Applejack is surprised to find Coloratura’s hoof extended toward her, but smiles and takes hold for a boost onto the runway.)

Coloratura, Crusaders:        Equestria, a land of friends

                                Where ponykind do roam

                                They say true friendship never ends

                                Equestria, my home

Song ends

(And the crowd goes wild all over again. Applejack gets another surprise in the form of an iron triangle being levitated by Sweetie, and the camera zooms in on the two old friends as Applejack gives a knowing smile and rings it with her hoof as she did at Camp Friendship. Coloratura puts a foreleg around her shoulders and pulls her close, both faces breaking into blissful smiles, and the view fades to black.)


THE CUTIE RE-MARK—PART ONE

Written by Josh Haber

Produced by Devon Cody

Story editing by Meghan McCarthy

Consulting direction by Jayson Thiessen

Supervising direction by Jim Miller

Directed by Denny Lu

Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)

Prologue

(Opening shot: fade in to a close-up of Twilight Sparkle standing behind a lectern.)

Twilight: If somepony had told me when I was a blank flank that one day I’d give a speech to a class at Celestia’s School of Magic, I wouldn’t have believed it. But…

(Long pause, followed by a brief, nervous grin and a slight scowl. Warming up her horn, she floats a stack of note cards up off the lectern and sorts through them for a moment—she has lost her train of thought. The smile quickly returns to her face, though, and she tucks them away.)

Twilight: …I hope that I’ve been up to the task, because I can tell that all of you are, and that the future of Equestrian magic is in good hooves.

(She is met by the sound of a solitary individual’s clapping, and a long shot of the entire area discloses her audience as Spike. The two are in a lecture hall at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, and a solitary overhead light picks her out while he stands among the cushions scattered on the raised tiers of seats. The evening sky can be seen through the window.)

Spike: (faking enthusiasm) Wow! (Chuckle.) That was even better than the first eleven times. (He clears his throat; she sighs petulantly when the camera cuts to her.)

Twilight: I don’t know, Spike. (floating cards up, stepping out from lectern) I’d like to be able to get through the whole speech without looking at the cards.

Spike: (from o.s.) Come on, Twilight. (Cut to him.) You can’t be nervous about giving a speech to a bunch of magic students.

Twilight: (from o.s.) Oh, I’m not nervous, Spike. (Cut to just behind his shoulder, facing her.) But I do have to set a good example, especially for magic students. (Close-up.) That’s why this speech has to be… (Very long pause.)

Spike: (sighing heavily) Perfect?

Twilight: Exactly. (returning to lectern; cards put away) Let’s go through it one more time.

(She clears her throat; cut to the crestfallen baby dragon, who flops wearily back against one of the cushions and slumps down on the start of the next line.)

Twilight: (from o.s.) When Princess Celestia asked me to speak to you today, I was honored— (Long shot of both.) —to have the opportunity to talk about my favorite subject, magic.

(Fade to black.)

OPENING THEME

Act One

(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of the exterior of Celestia’s School, tilting down slowly from rooftop towers to grounds. It is daytime, and unicorns congregate on the lawn and gallop toward the front entrance. Cut to inside the now-packed lecture hall, the camera positioned in the upper rows and aimed toward the floor. During the next line, the door is heard opening and two late arrivals ease in, getting shushed as the camera tilts up to frame Twilight at the lectern. Projected on the screen behind her is an image of three interlocking circles, each showing the face of one Cutie Mark Crusader. The two-part symbols from their cutie marks are shown in the overlaps between each pair of circles; at the central junction of all three is their common shield backdrop.)

Twilight: Obviously the long-term effects of the simultaneous acquisition of cutie marks has yet to be determined, but… (She pauses to float up a glass of water for a sip, then clears her throat pointedly.) …next slide, please?

(When a whole lot of nothing happens, she shades her eyes for a worried glance toward the audience. Cut to Spike, fast asleep next to the projector and snoring noisily. Twilight’s old friend Moondancer, intently taking notes on a clipboard held in her aura, gently nudges him awake; after a couple of drowsy blinks, he snaps to and rummages feverishly through a box of slides, nearly dropping two before reaching to insert one of them. As Twilight continues, an image of a sunglasses-wearing Spike enjoying a cool drink on a beach comes up and is replaced by the picture of her and the gang from the end of Part Two of “Twilight’s Kingdom”—first upside down, then right-side up.)

Twilight: I can speak from my own experience that the power of cutie mark magic is very real. (gesturing toward screen; zoom in on it) And in the instance of my friends and I, it can be traced to a single event.

(New slide: blank except for one wedge that shows a pre-cutie-mark Rainbow Dash in flight and her cloud/lightning-bolt mark. The tip of the wedge, at the center, disappears into a small graphic of the multicolored shock wave from her Sonic Rainboom. The other five fillies are added one by one in a series of further slides, each in a wedge of her own at the moment after the big bang; all are unmarked, but their respective symbols are on display.)

Twilight: (now o.s.) Without Rainbow Dash’s race to defend Fluttershy’s honor, this Rainboom wouldn’t have happened. (Fluttershy, surrounded by animals.) Fluttershy might never have discovered her love of animals. (Applejack, gazing out a window toward Sweet Apple Acres and the rainbow arcing over it.) Applejack might never have realized that she belonged on her farm. (Pinkie Pie, mane freshly frizzed up and smiling hugely as the rainbow plays across her pupils.) And Pinkie Pie might never have decided to leave hers. (Rarity, standing before the huge rock that has split open to reveal its cache of gems.) It might be hard to imagine Rarity without her sense of fabulousness. (Twilight, standing over Spike as he emerges from his egg.) But it’s even harder to fathom what my life would be like.

(Zoom out slightly as she steps to the screen, then follow her toward the center of the floor.)

Twilight: Without this Rainboom, I might not have gotten into magic school, Celestia wouldn’t have taken me on as her pupil, or sent me to Ponyville to meet my friends.

(Cut to her perspective, panning across the rows of spectators—one of whom is Starlight Glimmer, the proponent of extreme equality who fled for the hills in Part Two of “The Cutie Map.”)

Twilight: And the most powerful thing about cutie mark magic that I’ve found is the connection I share with them.

(Cut to her, eyes going very wide with an unpleasant realization. She shades them and squints across the room; back to her perspective, zeroed in on the spot where Starlight had been sitting only a moment ago. She is nowhere in sight, as confirmed by a quick back-and-forth sweep, but another close-up tells how badly the thought of that mare’s presence has rattled Twilight. She shakes her head clear in order to get her mind back on the matter at hand.)

Twilight: But, um… (floating up note cards) …the real question about cutie mark magic is who it seems to affect.

(Cut to a long shot of the hall on the end of this, zooming out slowly, then dissolve to a Ponyville street. She flies down and comes in for a landing, with a backpack-wearing Spike, a wheeled suitcase, and her saddlebags on her back; he hops off, taking the case with him, and the two move off down the block.)

Spike: Starlight Glimmer?

Twilight: I was sure I saw her, Spike. But when I looked again, she was gone. I’m just worried what she could be up to.

Spike: Nothing good, I bet. I heard she wasn’t very happy the last time you saw her.

Twilight: Forcing everypony in her village to have the same cutie mark wasn’t right. We had to do something. (Spike stops briefly.)

Spike: And now she’s coming back for revenge.

(Looking ahead, he finds that his boss has stopped dead in the middle of the street, pupils/irises shrunk almost to points over a queasy set of the mouth. A faint, full-body trembling is the only thing distinguishing her from a statue.)

Spike: (hurrying to her; she snaps out of it) Uh, or she was just really interested in your speech.

Twilight: Honestly, Spike, I’m not really sure what I saw. (She smiles as they start toward her castle.) But as long as I have my friends, I know everything will be all right.

(Dissolve to a wall within the castle. Her saddlebags are levitated into view and hung on a hook, and Spike rolls his suitcase over to park it underneath them. However, he is still wearing his backpack. On the start of the next line, zoom out to frame Twilight crossing the corridor.)

Twilight: Maybe I was just more stressed about that speech than I thought.

Spike: (laughing, following her) Yeah. That sounds better than Starlight Glimmer coming back with an evil plot for revenge.

(Extreme close-up of one set of doors, which are magically swung open toward the camera to frame the two travelers entering from the corridor outside.)

Twilight: Well, when you say it like that, it does sound kinda silly. (Spike stops dead, eyes shrinking to points and ears wilting.)

Spike: Or it’s totally true!

(Total shock sets in on the violet mare’s face when she looks across the room. Cut to their perspective—they are at the entrance to the throne room, and the devious unicorn has plunked herself on Fluttershy’s throne. Her forelegs are crossed behind her head, and she has propped her hind legs up on the edge of the central map table, which is bare. Zoom in quickly to a close-up, which frames her smirk all too clearly.)

Starlight: (leaning over table) Welcome home, Twilight.

(An old scroll is telekinetically brought up from behind the edge and zapped with a beam to send it up toward the tree-stump chandelier. Stopping among the strings of glowing gems, it crackles with energy for a moment before sending a beam into the center of the table. The map manifests itself, spreading out toward the edges, and Twilight and Spike race into the room.)

Twilight: What are you doing, Starlight?

Starlight: (cackling) I’d tell you, but I don’t want to ruin the surprise. (She levitates the scroll down and crumples it into a ball.) Won’t be needing that anymore.

(Her magic pitches the wad to bounce across the table. A boiling-mad Twilight fires up her horn, but Starlight’s spell causes waves of energy to boil up from the table. She stands up to her hind legs, laughing crazily at the heart of the maelstrom; the beam Twilight fires at this new light show has no effect. A wind begins to blow through the room, nearly sweeping Spike away before he grabs one wing and is pulled in close. Just below the chandelier, a small ball of blinding white light grows into a glowing, translucent dome set with arcane symbols that tick and shift like the gears of a clock. Starlight grins madly up at this creation, which begins to crackle with sparks around its lower edge, and uses her magic to float herself up toward it.)

(Once Starlight is a few feet away, the dome sucks her into its lower opening like a vacuum cleaner and she disappears from sight. It then contracts to a ball and winks out, the wind dying away in time; only the balled-up parchment on the floor gives any indication that she was ever here. Spike runs to the table, followed by Twilight.)

Spike: Where’d she go?

Twilight: I don’t know, Spike— (Close-up.) —but I think we better find out.

Spike: (from o.s.) I guess we could start with this.

(Looking over her shoulder, she sees him eyeing the scroll and instantly panics.)

Twilight: Spike, no! (He wraps fingers around it.) Don’t touch that!

(The warning comes too late; as soon as he picks it up, the power surge resumes and the dome forms anew to pull them screaming out of sight. Again it vanishes as abruptly as it appeared, followed by the sound of the doors opening. Pan to frame Pinkie entering the room and wheeling a good-sized three-tier cake on a dolly. She stops for a look around, only to find not a single equine or draconic buddy around to share the sweet stuff.)

Pinkie: Hm.

(So she makes sure it will not go to waste by scarfing down half of it in one gut-busting bite. Cut to Twilight and Spike, hurtling through the space between spaces; Spike has one hand locked onto the now-unrolled scroll, Twilight has her forelegs clamped around his belly, and both are yelling their lungs out. A glowing hourglass appears within this passage ,rotating slowly as it drifts away from the camera and disappears into the measureless void of distance. From here, cut to an untroubled patch of blue sky marked only by a few stray clouds. A few sparks spit from nowhere and swell into the magic dome, from which the two unwilling travels plummet screaming downward. Spike no longer holds the scroll, which flutters out after them.)

(Twilight is first to shut off her lungs and get her brain working, remembering that she has something that can be of use in situations like this—namely, a pair of wings. Flapping like mad, she brings herself into a hover, then wraps Spike up in her field to stop him with inches to spare before he can redecorate a paved runway. The spell dissipates, allowing him to land on his feet as she touches down next to him. Off to one side of the runway is a hangar/barracks built from clouds, and a zoom out from the pair frames more such structures, floating hoops for flight practice, and pegasi of various ages talking and flying around the area. They have wound up at a flight camp in…)

Spike: Cloudsdale? Starlight doesn’t even have wings. Why would she come here?

Twilight: I don’t know, Spike. But it looked like she could fly with just magic. Keep your eyes open. We don’t know what she has planned.

(A tiny little blue/rainbow blur zooms past in the distance as she says this, then doubles back to skim the runway and corkscrew her way between the pair, eliciting a double yelp of surprise. Zoom in slightly.)

Spike: Isn’t that…Rainbow Dash?

Twilight: Did Rainbow Dash look really young to you?

(The number-one assistant sets down the backpack he has worn throughout this strange trip as she speaks, then pulls out a pair of binoculars. Cut to his perspective of two foals confronting a third on a cloud several dozen yards away. Filly RD joins them, and on the next line, the lenses are brought up to magnify the scene: Filly RD standing up for Filly FS against Colt Dumbbell and Colt Hoops. The latter colt is the only one of the four who has a cutie mark. This, then, is the lead-up to the race that ended with all six mares receiving their marks in “The Cutie Mark Chronicles.”)

Twilight: (from o.s.) And I didn’t see a cutie mark. You don’t think— (Back to Spike, lowering the binocs; he has the pack on again.)

Spike: —we traveled back in time to when Rainbow Dash raced the bullies who made fun of Fluttershy and performed her first Sonic Rainboom?

Twilight: (hoof to forehead) Spike, only Starswirl the Bearded could do something like that! And even his spell just went back a week! How could Starlight do more than the greatest wizard in Equestria?

(A rustling noise draws both pairs of eyes toward the runway, caused by the dropped scroll that Spike now picks up and reads.)

Spike: (turning written side toward Twilight) With this.

(The violet mage gives it a look and almost immediately grimaces in barely contained panic, her wings half-unfurling out of reflex.)

Twilight: Starswirl’s spell! Oh, no!

Spike: (rolling/stowing it) Come on! Let’s go! (He starts off.)

Twilight: Go where?

Spike: To watch the race. I don’t want to miss the Rainboom.

(He steps off the edge of the runway and onto the cloud plateau on which it is laid out, forgetting that he is most definitely not a pegasus. Gravity drops him through the condensed water vapor like a scaly rock, but Twilight just steps along the pavement with a smile and a glowing horn. Spike floats back up under her control and drops onto her back just in time for her to lift off.)

Spike: Whoa!

(Wipe to an overhead shot of the starting line, high above Equestria, and pan slowly away from it. The three racers are crouched for a fast start, Filly FS stands on a nearby cloud with checkered flag in teeth, and cloud bleachers have been built to either side and are packed with spectator foals. In close-up, Filly FS waves her flag and promptly gets it swept out of her grip when the three rocket past her. She spins and wobbles toward the edge of her cloud and topples out of sight; pan/tilt up to a slightly higher cloud on which Twilight and Spike are watching. She tenses to take flight, but he seizes both wings to reel her in. A tap on the head for attention turns into the chiding waggle of a finger—this is how events actually unfolded—and Filly RD charges on through the course. She has the lead on Colt Dumbbell and Colt Hoops, the first of whom misses a turn and crashes into a column to get firmly stuck and knock himself silly. The grinning daredevil-to-be zooms ahead, only to get body-checked out of view by Colt Hoops.)

Filly RD: (now o.s.) Whoa!

Colt Hoops: (saluting) Heh. Later, Rainbow Crash! (He dives; cut to Filly RD.)

Filly RD: Hey!

(She drops after him and starts to close the gap with remarkable speed—and now things start to go just a bit differently as Starlight slowly rises from a cloud.)

Starlight: (mock pity) Aww, sorry about this.

(She kicks her horn into third gear. Filly RD is now going fast enough to build up the wave front that is the precursor to a Rainboom, with sparks and flecks of color crackling along its length. Just as it seems she is about to either break the barrier or tear herself apart, Starlight’s spell connects squarely with her flank and envelops her, bringing her to a complete midair stop. All four legs get pulled in different directions, but end up pointing straight downward.)

Filly RD: Hey! What gives?

(The result of this mucking about is to give Colt Hoops a clear run at the finish line, which he crosses to the spectators’ cheers and the disbelief of Twilight and Spike now among them. A quick tilt down to ground level reveals that Filly FS is safe and sound, giggling at the butterflies flitting around her; zoom out to frame the other woodland creatures she first encountered on her unplanned trip down this way. They disperse quietly to their homes, not having been thrown into a fright by the Rainboom, and her face falls at the loss of these companions.)

(Wipe to a stretch of Manehattan apartment buildings, seen from roof level, and zoom out to put Filly AJ in the fore. The camera has backed up into the bedroom she used while staying with her Aunt and Uncle Orange, and she gazes dejectedly over the skyline as the rainbow that was supposed to point the way back to Sweet Apple Acres never appears. Sighing heavily, she closes the curtains and walks off. Another wipe shifts the scene to the fields of the Pie family rock farm, under its gloomy gray sky. Filly PP nudges a small chunk toward a pile with her head, then stands up to wipe the sweat from her face and catch her breath. The two sad blue eyes flick toward the sky, but there is no blast wave to sweep the clouds away and no rainbow to tangle up her hair and make her smile. She returns to her work.)

(Wipe to Filly RA, standing before a giant rock resting on a ledge—the one whose hidden internal trove of gems sent her horn into overdrive and dragged her out here. No Rainboom means no blast wave means no splitting open; she gives it a disdainful push and walks away, leaving it to tumble off the ledge and crash down o.s. A fourth wipe shifts the scene to Filly TS, straining with all her magical might to hatch the dragon egg presented to her at her entrance exam for Celestia’s School. Without the Rainboom to freak her out, the best she can manage is a feeble spark that only bounces off the egg. The four unicorn examiners in this lecture hall quickly levitate their clipboards and start writing, disapproval clearly etched onto every face, and hers falls in crushing defeat.)

(Wipe to an extreme close-up of Filly RD’s flank and zoom out to frame all of her, remaining caught and held fast in Starlight’s magic. Twilight, with Spike still riding shotgun, flies over to the smug unicorn.)

Twilight: What did you do?

Starlight: You are about to find out.

(The dome forms overhead, sucks Twilight and Spike away into its portal, and disappears to leave Starlight alone in this time. Cut to a stretch of misty, pale blue sky, where it reforms to drop them screaming out of view. A double thud from o.s. below marks their very rough landing, and the portal shrinks away. In close-up at ground level, Twilight has fetched up in a chair that vaguely suggests one of the thrones in her castle; however, most of the back has crumbled away and the portion that remains has gone yellow with age. Also of note is the fact that the walls of the throne room are not visible behind her—only the rolling hills in the distance. A second ruined throne is off to one side. She moans weakly, rubbing her head, and snaps upright to find the table laid out with its map—now tinted an unfriendly red instead of its usual cool blue.)

Twilight: I don’t know what Starlight’s up to yet— (Spike straightens up into view, rubbing his head.) —but we’d better figure it out before it’s too late. (His eyes pop.)

Spike: Um, Twilight? (hesitantly, pointing ahead) I think it already is.

(She looks in the indicated direction and pulls in a disbelieving gasp, her jaw falling open for good measure. Cut to a long shot of the area; except for the map table and the remnants of a few thrones, her entire castle is simply gone from the grassy meadow in which it should be standing. A waterfall thunders down into a river that runs behind the plain where it had once stood, sending up curtains of mist that shroud the hills in haze. Zoom out slowly and snap to black.)

Act Two

(Opening shot: fade in to this radically altered tableau and zoom in slowly.)

Spike: Uh, Twilight? Where’s your castle?

Twilight: The map pulled us back. (Close-up of her.) But whatever Starlight did in the past changed things here!

Spike: (from o.s.) But why? (Cut to him.) And how did we get here? And where’s here?

(A bit of her magic fishes the scroll out of his backpack and unrolls it; on the start of the next line, zoom out to frame her crossing to him.)

Twilight: More like when. (She paces, reading.)

Spike: What do you mean?

Twilight: Starlight altered Starswirl’s spell, then somehow used it on the map to travel into the past and change something. Once she did, the map pulled us back to the present.

Spike: So we’re back where—I mean, when we started?

Twilight: Not exactly.

(She takes a closer look at the map, which proves to have rather extensive changes all over the place—including several twisting ridges of dark, jagged mountains. The scroll has been put away now.)

Twilight: Everything’s different. Look. (He pulls himself up to see. Overhead shot, just behind them; tilt up slowly to frame the layout.) The map doesn’t even make sense anymore. The Crystal Empire takes up half of Equestria!

(By the time she finishes speaking, she and Spike are out of frame and that northern realm is seen in uncomfortably good detail. It has gone as dark as the mountains that lead to it and is protected by a glimmering force field. Back to the pair.)

Spike: Plus, there’s the whole “missing castle” thing.

Twilight: Right! (Both think hard for a moment.) This is too big to handle on our own.

Spike: (dryly) You think?

Twilight: We need to find our friends and get help!

(Dissolve to the two walking along a dirt road that winds through what might once have been a lush grassland. The vegetation has long since died or been stripped away, and denuded trees and bushes line the path. Zoom out slowly, then cut to a slow pan through the streets of a thoroughly ravaged and deserted Ponyville: doors and windows boarded up, gaping holes in the thatched roofs, spots of decay on the walls. A second such pan follows, then a cut to just behind Carrot Top, staring forlornly at them from an upper-story window as Spike waves to her. Outside again; she pulls the curtains shut, and the camera zooms out to frame him. The sky here has gone a faded gray.)

Spike: I’m getting a bad feeling about this, Twilight.

(Cut to just behind Twilight, who is now topping a rise and not paying attention to the silhouetted building that slowly emerges beyond it as the camera moves with her.)

Twilight: I know, Spike. But this is Ponyville. How bad could things be?

(Turning her eyes ahead, she stops short next to Spike in the structure’s lumpy shadow.)

Spike: Is that Sugarcube Corner?

(A long shot of the edifice reveals that it is just about the only building in town that has not gone to ruin—but it bears only a superficial resemblance to the shop they know so well. All of the gingerbread/candy-cane décor is gone, including the cane held by the weather vane, and replaced by a drab beige paint job and a shingled brown roof. The violet chimneys styled as rock-candy projections have had their icing accents stripped off, the upper-story loft is built as a loaf of bread rather than a pair of stacked cupcakes, and the hanging sign displays a loaf instead of a cupcake. The top half of the front door stands open, and all the lights are out.)

Twilight: I don’t understand.

(Spike gasps and runs off to one side. Cut to the upper portion of the Carousel Boutique and tilt down slowly to the sound of his panicked breathing and running. The windows and front door are boarded up, the horse-decorated sign that had hung over the door now lies propped against a side wall, and the surrounding trees and bushes are dead and bare under a darker gray sky. Spike rushes to the door.)

Spike: Rarity?

(After a bit of pounding against the wood, he darts to a window and hoists himself up to peer through a gap in the planks covering it. Sweat runs down his face in close-up.)

Spike: Rarity?

Twilight: (from o.s.) I don’t think she’s here, Spike. (Cut to frame both; he lets himself down.) I’m not sure anything we know is the same. (She gathers him into a hug with a smile; zoom in.) But I know one place that could never change.

(Cut to a close-up of the apple-cutout board that hangs above the entrance to the Sweet Apple Acres barnyard. The chains holding it up creak faintly as it swings back and forth, and the camera zooms out to put the lie to the winged unicorn’s words. Approaching the fence, she and Spike find themselves staring at a main barn that has had a sizable extension built onto the far end and a water tower added to its roof. A chute leads from an upper-story window down to ground level alongside stacks of barrels. Three soot-belching smokestacks project skyward from behind the structure, and a pulley frame is set up next to an outbuilding that is making its own contribution to the bad air. Neither Twilight nor Spike can believe their eyes.)

(Cut to just inside one grimy window as she steps up to its exterior and rubs a spot clean so she can press her face to it. Her eyes pop in surprise, the camera zooming out to show a conveyor belt of open cans whose labels bear Granny Smith’s face. One by one, they are carried under a nozzle that fills them with applesauce. Elsewhere, a large pot steams on a stovetop, its lid rattling a bit before a rope tied to the handle lifts it away. A second conveyor dumps in a fresh load of apples, and the lid drops back into place. Now the cans move along their belt, having been fitted with lids, and a large mallet swings down to pound each one into place. Zoom out from this operation to frame the entire interior of the barn. Applejack and Big Macintosh are minding the cannery, dressed in brown coveralls/aprons that sport both camouflage patches and more than a few work-related stains. Cloth surgical masks cover both muzzles, and they wear close-fitting camouflage caps with holes cut for their ears; the tails are bound in hairnets, as are the exposed mane portions that run down their necks. Their forelocks are left free, and the band of Applejack’s cap has a small bow tied to rest above hers.)

 (Cut to outside the window. Twilight trades a hopelessly bewildered look with Spike, who has hoisted himself up to the sill, and Applejack impassively rolls a barrel into view from around the corner. She has removed her mask.)

Twilight: Applejack?

(She rushes over and gleefully hugs the working mare, who pushes her back before speaking in a humorless, no-nonsense tone. Not a flicker of recognition from the hard green eyes.)

Applejack: What can I do for you? (She starts moving the barrel again.)

Twilight: It’s so good to see you! (Spike catches up to her.) We couldn’t find Pinkie or Rarity or Fluttershy or Rainbow Dash— (Applejack rolls her cargo into a waiting cart.) —but I just knew you’d still be here.

Applejack: Of course I am. (Tip barrel upright.) This is my home. (Shove it up against the others.) But who in tarnation is Pinkie-Bow and Flutter-Dash… (She passes them.) …or you, for that matter?

Twilight: (stunned) You…don’t know who I am?

Applejack: (now o.s.) Nope. (rolling another barrel toward cart) Honestly, the only name I recognize is Rarity, but she left for Manehattan years ago.

Spike: (to Twilight) Probably to become a world-famous fashion designer, I bet.

Applejack: (now o.s. again) Not that I know of. (Cut to her.) Last I heard, she went to help with the cause like everypony else. (She closes the cart’s tailgate.)

Twilight: The cause?

Applejack: The war against King Sombra and the Crystal Empire?

Twilight, Spike: What?!?

Applejack: (suspiciously) Where have you two been? (Close-up of Spike.)

Spike: Actually, it’s “when.” (Tilt up to Twilight.)

Twilight: I know this is hard to believe, but you and I and those other ponies I mentioned are friends!

Applejack: Did you bump your head on a crate of cider or somethin’?

Twilight: I’m telling you the truth. And if you come with me, I’ll prove it.

(She gallops off, Spike scrambling after her. The blond canner turns back to her cart, but gets no further once the Princess’s magic aura envelops her and tows her away. Dissolve to a clearer patch of blue sky and tilt down slowly.)

Applejack: (from o.s.) Well, I’ll admit—

(The camera motion brings her, Twilight, and Spike into view around the map table.)

Applejack: —I’ve lived in these here parts my whole life and I’ve never seen this before.

Spike: There’s also supposed to be a castle that goes with it. (Close-up of Twilight and Applejack.)

Applejack: But I still don’t see what this has to do with you and I being friends. (Zoom out slowly.)

Twilight: Another pony named Starlight Glimmer used this map to travel through time and change things in the past. For some reason, the map’s here, but everything else is different.

Applejack: Different, how?

Twilight: Well, for one thing, where we came from, there’s no war with King Sombra.

(The orange-tan face slides from skepticism to muted despondency at this prospect.)

Twilight: Maybe you could tell us how the war started. Then we can figure out when everything changed.

Applejack: That’s easy enough. (Close-up; she sighs, the camera tilting down toward the map.) When the Crystal Empire returned, it brought King Sombra back with it.

(As she finishes speaking, the view dissolves to a long overhead shot of the actual Crystal Empire, standing under a lurid red sky and ringed by the jagged peaks Twilight and Spike saw in the revised map. The Crystal Castle is a thing of deep gray/purple peril, tipped and studded with lethally sharp barbs and crags. Cut to a balcony; King Sombra—very much in one piece, as seen during Princess Celestia’s history lesson in Part One of “The Crystal Empire”—steps out, torches flaring up purple/green/white at the railing. The only difference between then and now is in the whites of his eyes—white rather than a nauseous green. The camera tilts down to ground level, where—again just as before—a long, lusterless line of crystal ponies trudges past, forelegs shackled and connected one to the next by the chains running through the collars around their necks.)

Applejack: (voice over) And it didn’t take long for him to force every one of his subjects to fight for him against Equestria.

(Profile close-up of one weary stallion, already clad in dark spiked armor. An equally unpleasant-looking helmet is magically clapped onto his head, obscuring everything but his ears; a black crest of hair and two short red horns stand up on top, and a sick green light comes to life in the eye slits. Sombra stands before a platoon of ponies equipped with this armor, as well as cannon guards on all four legs, and the camera pans slowly along the assembly. Atacked to each pony’s armor is a tail to match the helmet crest. Dissolve to a close-up of a patch of snow, through which the dark troops begin to march, then cut to a close-up of a grim-faced Celestia raising a foreleg. As she points ahead, the camera zooms out to show her standing on a ridge; armored, spear-carrying unicorn and earth pony soldiers advance as pegasi rip through the cloud-choked skies above.)

(In close-up, three aerial troops pull ahead, giving a clear view of their blue coverall-style flight suits with yellow accents; they also wear visored helmets marked with yellow lightning bolts. As they peel off, the maneuver brings their tails into view, allowing a positive identification of one of the three as Rainbow; the tail is cut shorter than usual, and her left wing has been replaced by a fully functional steel prosthesis. Sombra’s and Celestia’s forces thunder toward one another, every throat voicing a savage war cry, and collide in a blast of snow and dust. Pan slowly through the free-for-all of grappling and brawling that instantly breaks out, then cut to a wall of haze through which Sombra makes a slow, inexorable advance onto the battlefield. Warming up his wickedly curved horn, he raises himself off the permafrost on a wall of massive, dark violet crystals. A few of Celestia’s soldiers stop their charge just in time to avoid hitting the barricade headfirst, and their foe just laughs down at them from his catbird seat.)

(One, two, three of his conscripts get the sense knocked out of them by Rainbow; when she lands on the contested ground, though, a fourth drops onto her back. She throws him off with ease, losing her helmet and fully exposing her face. The forelock has grown long enough to hang down to her nose, while the portion of mane running down her neck is cut short and sharply upswept; a scar bisects her left eye socket, and a ragged chunk is missing from that ear. Her features set in an unyielding grimace, she charges back into the fray.)

(Tilt quickly up to the top of a cliff that stands behind the battle and zoom in. Something massive begins to move up the slope and into view; cut to its level—an enormous boulder, being pushed by two of Sombra’s fighters. It tumbles over the edge, and the daredevil finds herself in its rapidly growing shadow and throws a panicked glance up the cliff as it whistles through the air on its deadly plunge. Before it can turn her into multicolored mulch, two figures in dark gray-brown coveralls with knee/hock pads leap up toward it from opposite sides and begin pummeling it relentlessly with their front hooves, chewing through it like a blowtorch through butter. Pinkie is on the right, her sister Maud on the left, their manes/tails straight and cut considerably shorter than usual. The camera cuts to a split-screen close-up of the two pulverizing ponies, showing the scuffs on their faces and the rock-filled pouches clipped to their belts, then back to its previous distance. They finish reducing the boulder to gravel and slabs, which rain down harmlessly around Rainbow, and drop to the ground on either side of her to salute before racing off. The battle-scarred pegasus takes flight again; cut to a visibly horrified Celestia walking among her fallen forces.)

Applejack: (voice over) And even with Princess Celestia leadin’ the charge…

(Four Sombra soldiers burst up out of the snow to pen her in during this line. She counters by generating a force field around herself and expanding it sharply outward to plow them away. Cut to a set of boat docks in Manehattan, panning slowly from water to land; sheep are being unloaded from every sailing ship at anchor, under the supervision of Derpy Hooves, in khaki coveralls and cap.)

Applejack: (voice over) …it still takes every last pony in Equestria…

(The camera passes a stack of crates, behind which the view wipes to Fluttershy shearing the woolly beasts at top speed in a barnyard. Her mane/tail are cut short, and she is decked out in khaki utilities and a fair bit of mud from her work.)

Applejack: (voice over) …doin’ their part…

(Next the camera passes a pile of wool and the view wipes to a workshop in which a number of ponies, including Rarity, toil at sewing machines. The weary white unicorn, in dark gray coveralls and cap, wears her mane/tail short and raggedly cut. She pauses briefly to wipe her forehead.)

Applejack: (voice over) …workin’ day and night…

(A completed set of coveralls floats away from her workstation and onto a huge pile.)

Applejack: (voice over) …to keep up the fight.

(Behind the mass of standard-issue clothing, the view wipes once more to a train station platform and the pan stops. Ponies of varied ages and sizes are lined up here, each wearing a pair of loaded saddlebags and being stared at by the image of Sombra on a propaganda poster. A guard unicorn stallion transfers a package of gear from his control to that of the unicorn mare at the head of the line, and she turns to board the train—off to boot camp and the front lines. The train whistle pierces the air as steam billows from the locomotive to fill the screen.)

(The view clears to give a close-up of a thunderstruck Twilight.)

Twilight: I just can’t believe it! We stopped King Sombra! (Zoom out; she grabs Applejack’s shoulders beseechingly.) You and me and all of our friends!

Applejack: (pushing her back) But we aren’t friends, at least not here.

Twilight: (softly) Right.

Applejack: Look. I hope all this helped, but— (walking off) —I really need to get back to cannin’ those apples.

Twilight: Thank you. We’re going to set things right. (Applejack stops with a quiet sigh.)

Applejack: I hope you do. (She continues on her way.)

Spike: (to Twilight) So how are we gonna set things right?

Twilight: (shrilly) I DON’T KNOW!

(She lets her face plunk onto the table; in close-up, she lifts it away and calms down.)

Twilight: The only thing we know for sure is that Starlight stopped the Rainboom. (Zoom out slightly; Spike crosses to her.)

Spike: And that the map’s still here. (She thinks briefly and comes up with a gasp and smile.)

Twilight: Spike, that’s it! (This outburst startles him into falling behind the table.) The map is connected to the Tree of Harmony! (He climbs back up.) It must sense that something isn’t right! That’s why it’s still here!

(Close-up of the baby dragon.)

Twilight: (from o.s., floating scroll out of his backpack) I’ll just use Starlight’s version of the spell— (Cut to her, unrolling it.) —and go back a little earlier and stop her before she even knows we’re there!

(The document is levitated up a bit higher above the table, where she proceeds to sock it with a beam from her horn. Just as in Act One, the energy washes upward from the table and the dome portal opens to draw them toward itself. Spike snags the scroll as they ascend past it.)

(Cut to a long shot of the Cloudsdale flight camp. The passage opens above the floating cloud hoops and ejects them toward the runway; Spike launches into a terror-stricken scream, having packed the scroll away, but cuts himself off as Twilight’s magic gently brings him to a high-altitude stop. She hovers composedly next to him.)

Twilight: All we have to do now is find Starlight and—

(She never gets to finish that thought, as a beam of the meddling mare’s magic lances into view for a direct hit on them both. They are left encased in a single giant blue crystal, unable to do anything but blink as it drops o.s. A few puffs of cloud float up to mark its muffled impact; cut to them, stuck in the water-vapor turf next to the runway and sinking at an almost imperceptible rate.)

Starlight: (from o.s.) Well, finding her will be easy— (Cut to her, self-levitating across to them.) —but stopping her’s gonna be harder than you think! (She pulls up alongside the imprisoned pair.) Sorry to disappoint you, but I created that spell to send myself back in time. So even when you cast it, I still get sent back here.

(Extreme close-up of the Princess’s frozen face, zooming out to frame the gloating unicorn on the start of the next line.)

Starlight: It wasn’t difficult to change Starswirl’s spell. He’d already done the hard part. But figuring out I could use the map to go to any time or place and pull you along with me? (Nasty chuckle.) I even impressed myself with that. (Cut to within the crystal; her voice slightly muffled by it.) I knew you’d try to stop me. You’re so predictable. Why else would I leave the scroll behind? Touching it triggered the map to whisk you here and watch me erase the one thing that linked you with your friends.

(A crazed grin is followed by a long shot of the three; the crystal has now sunk nearly halfway into the cloud, and she lands on it to drive it in a bit deeper and speed the slippage. Her self-levitation spell fades out.)

Starlight: My village was a sanctuary of equality, where nopony’s cutie mark allowed them to feel superior! (Close-up.) It was a special place, and you and your friends took it away!

(Her venomous scowl gives way to a truly baffled look, and a longer shot tells the tale: the crystal holding Twilight and Spike has gone all the way through the cloud, on which she is now standing. Rolling her eyes in disgust over her hubris, she restarts her spell and maneuvers herself away; tilt down to show the crystal now protruding from the cloud’s lower surface and still sinking. Starlight brings herself in next to it.)

Starlight: (increasingly unhinged) Now it’s my turn to take something special from you! Without the Rainboom, you and your friends will never form your special cutie mark bond! Cutie marks for cutie marks! Sounds like a fair trade to me!

(A flick of one hoof against the glassy surface dislodges the whole thing to let it plummet o.s. Cut to an extreme close-up of it, seen from above and hurtling away from the camera toward the distant grasslands of Equestria—much too far away for any living creature’s comfort. Twilight and Spike can only stare in frozen, mute horror as the mineral mass carries them toward what will surely be the last, roughest, most spectacular landing wipeout of their lives. Snap to black.)

Act Three

(Opening shot: fade in to a very long shot of the flight camp, the trapped Princess and dragon visible only as a minute speck accelerating toward the earth below. They continue their fall in close-up and drop past the camera, which swivels downward to keep them in frame for a moment, and Twilight manages to scrunch her face up in desperate concentration as her horn ignites. An aura begins to spread from its tip with agonizing slowness—and in another very long shot, the hunk of crystal disintegrates with a flash to leave two specks in midair. One stops dead, while the other keeps right on going—Twilight and Spike, respectively. Cut to the winged mare, hovering and smiling serenely at her breakout success.)

Spike: (from o.s., drawn-out, sobbing) TWIIIILIIIIGHT!!

(During this one hyperextended word, her self-satisfaction turns to a freaked-out glance downward and the camera cuts to an extreme close-up of him, seen from above and dropping away fast.)

Twilight: Oops!

(She hits the gas and zooms down after him; he, on the other hand, just yells and flails uselessly at the air, dropping straight through a cloud. A well-timed swoop allows her to snap him up in a foreleg with no loss of speed.)

Spike: Thanks.

Twilight: No problem, Spike. At least now we know exactly what we have to do!

(She flies o.s. Wipe to a stretch of hoops on the course above the flight camp; the two of them peek out from behind a nearby cloud for a quick look. Nothing going on, so she teleports them over to one hoop so they can scout from opposite sides of it. Two more pops take them out of sight and deposit them behind a different cloud; Twilight risks a glance from here, then pulls her head back down and comes up flying with Spike on her back. They dart into a third cloud and push their faces out through its billows.)

Twilight: Okay. Keep your eyes peeled. (Spike whips out his binoculars.)

Spike: Right!

Twilight: (as he starts using them; she shades her eyes) We have to stop Starlight as soon as Rainbow Dash and those bullies race by.

(Close-up; he lowers the instrument, green eyes widening in surprise.)

Spike: Um, Twilight?  

Twilight: (from o.s.) So be ready.

Spike: I know, but— (Cut to her.)

Twilight: Because she could pop up anywhere! (One clawed finger taps her shoulder for attention.)

Spike: (from o.s.) Like— (Both again; he points down to one side.) —over there?

(Her magic pulls the binoculars over to her own eyes, and she cranes her neck out over the cloud’s edge for a better view. Now it is her turn to register pure shock, an image of one popping eye appearing in each objective lens, and she sucks in a sharp gasp for good measure. Pan/tilt down quickly to the cloud plateau next to the runway, where Starlight is addressing Colt Dumbbell and Colt Hoops, with Filly FS standing next to her.)

Starlight: (sweetly) Just remember how you’d feel if someone said those things to you. 

(The two colts trade a chastened look—she has managed to head them off at the pass without Filly RD getting wind of their taunts, evidently. Twilight comes in for a landing with Spike on her back and the binocs put away, and she is not too happy about this swerve.)

Twilight: What’s going on here?

Starlight: Oh, I was just reminding these two colts how hurtful teasing can be.

Twilight: Well, don’t!

(Cut to a slow pan across her audience; the three foals trade confused murmurs as the goody-goody unicorn puts on a savagely triumphant little smile. Back to Twilight, who realizes just how dumb she has made herself sound and tries to play it off.)

Twilight: I mean…you were?

Starlight: Of course! In a world where everypony is unique— (ruffling Filly FS’s mane) —some are bound to feel more special than others. (leaning into Twilight’s face) But that isn’t a license to be cruel, is it? (She backs off.)

Twilight: (a bit flustered) No. Of course not.

Starlight: (lifting Filly FS’s chin, gathering her and Colt Hoops into a hug) Oh, isn’t it shame we don’t live in a world where everypony is equal? No one would ever tease anyone there. Wouldn’t that be nice?

Filly FS, Colt Dumbbell, Colt Hoops: (nodding) Mmm-hmm!

Twilight: (panicked) No! It wouldn’t! (catching herself) I mean…it’d be nice not to be teased, of course, but…that’s not the same thing!

(This bizarre argument gets her a round of weird looks from the foals and a narrow-eyed smile from Starlight.)

Colt Hoops: Come on, Fluttershy. Maybe I can help you get through the course this time.

Filly FS: Well, I…I sure could use the practice.

(All three exit the scene together as Twilight advances menacingly toward their impromptu counselor. Zoom in slowly.)

Twilight: I know you only convinced those bullies to not tease Fluttershy to stop the Rainboom!

Starlight: Aw, that’s not true. I convinced them not to be bullies because everypony should be equal. (scowling) Stopping the Rainboom is just a bonus.

(The rancor in Twilight’s expression is a match for hers as Filly RD streaks past behind her, a blur of sky-blue and vivid hues. Spike is first to notice and point after her.)

Spike: Look! (Filly RD  flies on.)

Twilight: This isn’t over yet! (She lifts off.)

Starlight: (smiling nastily, calling after her) If you say so!

(As the junior speedster threads through hoop after hoop, a broadly grinning Twilight pulls into view, leaving the end of her tail cut off by the edge of the screen.)

Twilight: Hi!

(Zoom out slightly to show that Spike has a death grip on the streaked dark blue hank of hair. He waves with his free hand.)

Filly RD: (uneasily) Um…hi?

Twilight: You think you can stop for a minute?

Filly RD: Sure!

(She instantly slams on the brakes, but Twilight’s reflexes are far too slow to duplicate the move and she barrels o.s. A muffled whump and a few puffy white wisps float back, and here comes the less-than-adept flyer and her rider, both covered in bits of the cloud they have just hit.)

Twilight: I hear you’re pretty fast. (Close-up of the youngster.)

Filly RD: “Pretty fast”? Please! I’m even faster than that. (All three again; Twilight and Spike are clean.)

Twilight: Okay! So, um… (nudging her) …hey, you want to race?

Filly RD: Um, that wouldn’t really be fair. (Big grin from Twilight.) I mean, you’re a full-grown pony, and…wait. Are you an alicorn?

Twilight: (egging her on, foreleg around shoulders) Come on. I thought you were fast.

(The baby dragon gives a beaming thumbs-up with the hand not clamped onto her tail.)

Filly RD: (smiling uneasily, pushing Twilight away) Uh, actually, I just remembered I have somewhere I need to be.

(Off she goes, but the full-grown pony is quick to pull even.)

Twilight: Okay, listen. You don’t have to race me. I just need you to fly fast enough for a Sonic Rainboom. (Close-up of Filly RD.)

Filly RD: What?!? I can’t do that! Nopony can! It’s not even a real thing. It’s just an old mares’ tale. (Zoom out to frame Twilight/Spike.)

Twilight: But it’s not! I know it’s not. I’ve seen you do it, in the future!

(Her calculating grin is met with a cocked eyebrow that says it all about just how much the young aerialist is absolutely not buying this line.)

Filly RD: (smiling tentatively, pulling ahead) Okay. I’m gonna…go now. (Twilight slows to a hover, watching her speed back to Cloudsdale.)

Twilight: No! Wait!

(Skunked again; now Starlight lowers herself down into view behind Twilight, her best devious grin fixed firmly in place.)

Starlight: (mock pity) Gee, Twilight, what’s the matter? Couldn’t convince her to do the impossible? That’s too bad.

(Twilight rounds on her, intent on delivering a comeback that would surely roast the smug unicorn to a crisp on the spot, but ends up gasping in surprise instead as the portal opens up overhead to pull her and Spike in. The camera cuts to a close-up of the map, now reconfigured and tinted a queasy shade of green; the portal’s light flares up from above, and they are dumped onto the table and bounce to the ground. A longer shot reveals that the furniture and damaged thrones now stand in the midst of a clearing amid warped, wildly overgrown trees—the Everfree Forest has apparently claimed some more territory. The passage vanishes, leaving them to get dazedly to hooves and feet for a look around the new neighborhood.)

Spike: (groaning) Well, that didn’t work.  (A bit of horn magic pulls the scroll from his bag so Twilight can study it. Close-up.)

Twilight: This is gonna be harder than I thought. We’ll have to try again. (Zoom out slightly; Spike backs up nervously toward her.)

Spike: Hey, Twilight?

Twilight: (still reading) I don’t want to live in that awful future we saw.

Spike: (small voice) I don’t think you’ll have to.

(The purple eyes flick up from the parchment just in time to see a half-dozen stone-tipped spears being thrust toward the pair, the camera zooming out several feet in a split-second. She lets the scroll fall, and the camera cuts to a slow pan across the aggressors, a group of ponies spattered with mud and bearing tribal stripes and markings on faces and bodies. Among the grimly set faces are three familiar ones: Fluttershy, Pinkie—their manes braided, Pinkie with her three-balloon cutie mark clearly visible through her stripes—and Berry Punch.)

Twilight: (from o.s.) Pinkie? (Back to her and Spike.) Fluttershy? (The deadly sharp tips are pushed even closer.)

Pinkie: (from o.s.) Silence… (Cut to her.) …changeling.

(Pan to Fluttershy. This camera angle exposes the edge of her usual mark under the layer of paint that covers most of her body from the neck backward.)

Fluttershy: All servants of Queen Chrysalis found in these woods must be destroyed!

(Zoom in to an extreme close-up of her face on this last word, then cut back to a fear-stricken Twilight and Spike. She swallows hard as the camera zooms in slowly, after which the view cuts to a “To be continued…” title card and fades to black.)

Continued in Part Two


THE CUTIE RE-MARK—PART TWO

 

Written by Josh Haber

Produced by Devon Cody

Story editing by Meghan McCarthy

Consulting direction by Jayson Thiessen

Supervising direction by Jim Miller

Directed by Denny Lu

 

Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)

 

 

Prologue

 

(Opening shot: fade in to a “Previously on My Little Pony” title card, then cut to a close-up of Twilight Sparkle during her speech at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns in Part One, Act One. Her eyes widen in surprise, and she shades them with a hoof to peer into the audience.)

 

Spike: (voice over) Starlight Glimmer?

 

(Her perspective, panning slowly across the spectators in the lecture hall.)

 

Twilight: (voice over) I was sure I saw her, Spike.

 

(Close-up of Starlight Glimmer, lounging on Fluttershy’s throne within Twilight’s castle and smirking to beat the band.)

 

Starlight: (leaning over map table) Welcome home, Twilight.

 

(Longer shot of the throne room: her time-travel spell kicks into gear, creating the domed portal above the table and sucking Twilight and Spike in with a paired scream. Starlight has already transported herself away. During the next line, cut to the Cloudsdale flight camp that Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash attended in their youth. The race between Filly RD, Colt Dumbbell, and Colt Hoops—the last two of these being the ones who bullied Filly FS—is in progress, as in “The Cutie Mark Chronicles.”)

 

Spike: (voice over) We traveled back in time to when Rainbow Dash performed her first Sonic Rainboom?

 

(Just as she is on the cusp of pulling it off, Starlight’s beam scores a bullseye and paralyzes her. On the next line, cut to four other fillies being affected by the lack of the light show: Fluttershy being abandoned by animals in the forest…Applejack pulling the curtain shut on her Manehattan bedroom window…Pinkie Pie staring up at the gloomy gray sky over her family’s rock farm…Rarity knocking the huge gem-concealing rock off its ledge.)

 

Starlight: (voice over) Without the Rainboom, you and your friends will never form your special cutie mark bond!

 

(Twilight and Spike are sucked into the passage. On the next line, cut to the first altered present: the table with its red-tinted map and the shattered thrones stand alone in a meadow.)

 

Twilight: (voice over) But whatever Starlight did in the past changed things here!

 

(Act Two: cut to King Sombra, arrogantly surveying his holdings from a balcony of the dark and twisted Crystal Castle as shackled crystal ponies trudge past, then to a flight-suited Rainbow giving one of his helmeted soldiers what for. During the next line, cut to her on the ground, helmet gone, battle scars on display and receiving salutes from Pinkie and her sister Maud after they have saved her from being crushed under a boulder. These two return to their posts, and she lifts off to rejoin the fight.)

 

Twilight: (voice over) I don’t want to live in that awful future we saw.

 

(Act Three: cut to her and Spike, standing in front of the map table in the second altered present, with the table surrounded by the now-overgrown Everfree Forest. She scrutinizes the scroll with the spell Starlight has been using as he stares fearfully ahead.)

 

Spike: (small voice) I don’t think you’ll have to. (Spears are thrust toward them; Twilight drops the scroll.)

Fluttershy: (voice over) All servants of Queen Chrysalis found in these woods must be destroyed!

 

(During this line, cut to a slow pan across the mud-streaked, tribally painted warriors holding the weapons—including Fluttershy and Pinkie. The last word is accompanied by a cut back to the two good-and-scared temporal sojourners. Twilight swallows hard as the camera zooms in slowly, and the view snaps to black.)

 

 

OPENING THEME

 

 

Act One

 

(Opening shot: fade in to an overhead view of the standoff and zoom in slowly as more ponies trot up to join the natives’ side.)

 

Twilight: Wait! We’re not changelings! (Close-up.) I’m a pony— (pointing at Spike) —and he’s a dragon! (Pinkie leans into his face.)

Pinkie: A likely story! (poking him) Do something dragon-ish!

 

(He obliges her by belching up a small flame that disperses a cloud of smoke into her face and elicits a violent cough.)

 

Pinkie: (hoarsely, backing off) That works.

Fluttershy: The servants of Chrysalis will do anything to save their evil skins.

 

(Close-up of the two suspects on the end of this, spear points once again coming dangerously close to their heads.)

 

Zecora: (from o.s.) STOP!

 

(The holders of these weapons look up toward the boughs of the trees behind them. Pan/tilt up to follow their eyes and stop on the zebra’s shadowed form standing on a thick branch. She steps along its length into full light, revealing a few noticeable changes to her appearance. Tribal paint around the eyes; gold foreleg hoops gone; fur half-chaps on one fore and one hind leg; saddlebags hung with potion bottles on her back; the Mohawk cut of her mane greatly lengthened and with a braid hanging down behind one ear. She is the only one not marked by patches of mud on coat or mane.)

 

Zecora:               If they are changelings, we’ll soon see, (She jumps down to face them.)

                            Though I think they’re not what they appear to be.

Twilight: Zecora! Please, you have to listen!

 

(Her tentative step forward is immediately hemmed in by the stone spearheads. Now, in a head-on shot, the zebra advances stoically through the ranks of her bloodthirsty comrades, who step aside to make room. She holds up a gourd.)

 

Zecora:               Beneath this salve, no changeling hides,

(She gets a hoof-load and extends it toward the camera.)

                            For it reveals the truth inside.

 

(Fade to black as her hoof fills the screen, then snap to her backing off from Twilight in close-up. The winged unicorn has been daubed around her eyes and various body parts, and splotches of mud dot her form as well. A zoom out shows that Spike has received similar treatment. A faint glow appears around Princess and dragon, prompting a round of gasps from every equine but Zecora, who just stares wide-eyed as they retreat to a safer distance. She puts a hoof to her chin for a moment’s thought before Pinkie pops her head back into view.)

 

Pinkie: What does it mean?

Zecora: (crossing to Twilight, Spike)                  The meaning is far worse, I see,

(turning to others)                                                   For it is we who should not be.

Twilight: I think I can explain.

Zecora:                                                               I’m sure you can, but let’s not talk here.

                                                                                Chrysalis and her army will soon draw near.

 

(She moves off, the pair following. Wipe to a path, the camera focused on a stallion standing on a tree limb in the foreground and keeping watch. He flips a hoof signal toward the line of ponies making their way through the territory, then jumps down and o.s. as the focus shifts to them. The glow has faded from Twilight and Spike.)

 

Zecora:               The changelings took over not long ago,

                            Though I’ll wager in your world that isn’t so. (Ground level.)

Twilight: Chrysalis and her army tried to take over Canterlot, but my friends and I stopped her. (Close-up of Zecora.)

Zecora:               Those friends as you know them are not here, alas.

                            But tell me how all this came to pass. (Pan to Twilight on the end of this.)

Twilight: Starlight Glimmer, a pony who traveled back in time to stop my friends and me from ever coming together.

Zecora:               And it is these friends you have in life

                            That keep Equestria free from strife?

Twilight: I guess so. But this is the second time I’ve come back, and this world is even worse than the last one! If Starlight keeps doing the same thing in the past, how could the present be so different?

Zecora: Ahhh. (All stop.)

Time is a river, where even the tiniest changes seen

(Close-up of a trickle of water on the ground; she puts a hoof down to dam the flow, but it works its way around to a new course. She continues o.s.)

                            Can lead to a cascade of effects downstream.

 

(Back to these two; she moves off along the trail, leaving the winged unicorn to ponder these words. Dissolve to Zecora coming to a stop at a new spot.)

 

Zecora:               This part of the forest is dark and damp.

(She pushes a curtain of vines aside; behind it, a small settlement of huts and ponies can be seen in a clearing, out of focus.)

                            But it’s done well to hide our camp.

 

(As she finishes, the camera zooms in and re-focuses to show potion bottles hanging from tree branches and a stream running through the area. The camp’s inhabitants bear stripes and marks on their bodies, similar to the ones who have intercepted Twilight and Spike. A stallion splits a chunk of firewood with a hatchet in his teeth as a filly gallops fearfully to him and huddles in close—father and daughter. The cause for her alarm is Twilight’s approach, and Cherry Berry risks a look out from the doorway of a nearby hut as the two out-of-timers pass, accompanied by Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Zecora. Spike waves to the locals.)

 

Spike: (approvingly) This is cozy.

 

(They stop short at a cry of panic from the o.s. Rarity. Pan quickly ahead to a clump of bushes, through which she and Rainbow gallop into view. Coats are scuffed, manes disheveled, and both haunches carry their proper cutie marks.)

 

Rarity: Please! (Applejack catches up to them.) You have to help us!

 

(She is in just as sorry a state as these two, and the three apples are in their expected place on her haunch. None of them wear the wartime outfits they sported during the campaign against Sombra in Part One.)

 

Rainbow: The changelings attacked Ponyville! (Zecora moves a bit closer.) We barely escaped with our lives!

 

(Twilight begins to trot across to them, overjoyed at having discovered the rest of her old friends, but Zecora throws out a foreleg to block her.)

 

Zecora:               The only changeling attack I see

                            Is the one that come [sic] here looking for me!              

 

(Applejack moves up past the other two fugitives, head down and hat tilted forward to further obscure her face—but a small smile can be seen just past the brim.)

 

Applejack: It’s taken quite a while to find you… (raising head, smiling crazily) …Zecora.

 

(She laughs in a voice that is decidedly not her own as a ring of yellow-green flames forms around her and erupts into a blazing pillar that hides her from view. Defenders charge toward her, leaving Spike to stand thunderstruck and Twilight to back gingerly toward him. In extreme close-up, a tattered, translucent wing materializes on an orange-tan flank, a crackle of magic turns a leg dark gray and fills it with holes, and a gnarled horn pieces itself together to lift the brown cowboy hat on its tip. A pulse of power traces up to disintegrate the item, and a few last troops fall in behind Zecora as the shadow of Chrysalis—the changeling queen not seen on camera since Part Two of “A Canterlot Wedding”—extends toward them. Her rich, demented laughter rings out over the clearing before the camera cuts to the shape-changer in all her ruined glory. Behind her, Rainbow and Rarity are now smiling cruelly. Her voice does not carry the buzzing undertone it exhibited during that previous episode.)

 

Chrysalis: (stepping forward, emptying a hanging bottle) What a lovely village you’ve chosen to stage your little resistance. (She leans toward Zecora…) It looks absolutely delicious!

 

(…and licks her chops. Bon Bon and a stallion advance on the intruder, the purest bloodlust in their eyes, and back her up thanks to their spears.)

 

Chrysalis: Oh, come now, Zecora. You’re vastly outnumbered.

 

(Each of the two equines who came in with her disappears briefly behind a yellow-green flare and comes out of it as an armored changeling. They rise to a hover as the camera zooms out to show dozens more un-armored, airborne fighters closing in slowly. Some land on rooftops, but most simply go into a dive toward the populace. One stallion stares in mute terror, but the sight of a nearby filly becoming a changeling scares him into a mad dash, with it in hot pursuit. Cut to a long shot of Chrysalis addressing the surrounded resistance cell and pan slowly across.)

 

Chrysalis: I know you don’t want your charges hurt. Come quietly to the dungeons of Canterlot— (Close-up.) —and I promise to leave the others alone. (Fluttershy moves up, spear ready.)

Fluttershy: Why would she ever trust you? (Pan to Zecora’s other side; Twilight steps in.)

Twilight: (to Zecora) Even if there’s a chance Chrysalis will honor her word, shouldn’t you try?  

Zecora: (softly)               Race to the map while we hold off the attack.

                                        Stop Starlight and put the whole world back on track!

 

(With a resolute nod, the violet Princess gallops away from the face-off, not even breaking stride as she extends a wing to flip Spike onto her back.)

 

Chrysalis: Time to make a decision, Zecora!

Zecora:                           Even if what you are saying were true,

                                        We’d never surrender to a creature like you!

 

(Her rear-up and feral yell are the cue for the whole crew to charge in a body across the clearing, and Chrysalis leads her forces in. Cut to a silhouette view of the instant melee; Zecora and Chrysalis grapple briefly, but a burst from the latter’s twisted horn sends the former to the dirt. Full color resumes as one of the armored changelings gets blasted away with Twilight’s beam just before she gallops past. Here come far too many aerial attackers, ready for a round of payback and closing the distance as she heaves for breath. Cut to her perspective, topping a rise and approaching the map table, then back to her and Spike. The baby dragon ducks just in time to avoid getting a good chunk of his head bitten off; next, several changelings pull ahead to cut off the run, but she handily teleports him and herself away to reappear at the table and its queasy-green map. Twilight magically whips the scroll out of the backpack Spike has carried throughout the pair’s temporal gallivanting and unrolls it. Within seconds, the portal has energized itself, drawn them in, and begun to shrink, leaving the changelings with nothing to show for their efforts.)

 

(Cut to the flight camp. They are ejected above the runway, and Twilight comes down in a crouching four-point landing while safely levitating Spike down next to her. The scroll has been packed away again. Instantly she conjures up a force field to encompass both of them and stop a shot from the o.s. Starlight; the barrier drops as soon as it has done its job, and Twilight glares daggers at the vengeful unicorn on a nearby cloud. She does a vertical liftoff, gaining several hundred feet and returning fire—but Starlight floats herself to the other end of her cloud and lets the beam slice away the portion she had been standing on.)

 

Starlight: Not bad, but it’s gonna take a lot more than that.

Twilight: Lucky for you there’s more where that came from!

 

(Doing a wide vertical loop-the-loop, she unleashes a barrage that Starlight blocks with a brief, effortless shield around herself. Spike hunches down to protect himself from the magical ricochets, then looks up to find Starlight swinging a beam toward Twilight, who charges through a row of cloud hoops. The onslaught chops through every one, leaving the lower halves to drop free. The winged unicorn’s flight catches the attention of a couple of fillies, who stare after her in wild wonder. A blast from Twilight’s horn obliterates the rest of Starlight’s cloud, but does no other damage thanks to the unicorn’s vertical sidestep.)

 

Starlight: You’ve really gotta work on your aim!

 

(She gets around that minor technical hitch by uncorking a wide beam that homes in on the cloud where her opponent has perched. Twilight teleports away a fragment of a fraction of a second before the energy rips a hole into the heaped water vapor and burns straight through from front to back. Cut to a series of freeze frames, zooming out slowly on each: Twilight firing at Starlight, who barely dodges…Starlight shooting back and scoring a hit on the shield Twilight has put up…the two exchange horn-fire and barely miss each other. Normal motion resumes with a cut to the race between Filly RD, Colt Dumbbell, and Colt Hoops. All three stop and stare toward the epic shootout, their competition instantly forgotten.)

 

(Cut to Twilight as she lands on a cloud plateau, gasping for breath, sweaty of face, and with her mane/tail slightly disheveled. Down comes Starlight across from her, equally worn out but not looking quite so messy; she can manage no more than a weak spell, which Twilight blocks with a momentary shield.)

 

Filly RD: (from o.s.) Whoa!

 

(Twilight looks behind herself with a shocked grimace. Cut to the three foals, who have taken seats on the sidelines to watch; Filly RD is chowing down from a bag of popcorn. The sound of a teleport is heard from o.s., and the winged unicorn promptly poofs onto the runway to face them down. Her mane/tail are back in order.)

 

Twilight: What are you doing? You have to finish your race!

Filly RD: No way! (Spike crosses to Twilight.) This is way more exciting!

Starlight: (from o.s.) See?

 

(Cut to her, ready for another go and walking across the runway.)

 

Starlight: (warming up horn) You can’t stop me no matter what you do!

                

(The blaze of light from o.s. above marks the re-emergence of the portal, and it drags Twilight and Spike up off the runway with remarkable speed.)

 

Filly RD: (tossing popcorn aside, as it fades away) Aw, man…

 

(Cut to the map table, now standing in an Everfree Forest clearing at night. An overhead crackle of light and sparks heralds the travelers’ return to this present time; they hit the table and bounce off for a very hard landing on the ground. Spike is first to begin peeling himself up with a groan and look around. The map has turned a darker shade of its normal blue.)

 

Spike: That’s strange. (Twilight stands.)

Twilight: (very snarky) Well, you obviously don’t mean us falling, because that’s becoming pretty routine.

Spike: No. It’s just the other times we’ve come back, it’s been day. (pointing ahead) But look!

 

(Cut to a stretch of sky seen through the treetops and tilt down to frame them from behind. A rustling noise makes itself heard under the next words.)

 

Twilight: Why would the map bring us back to a different time of day than when we left? (Spike turns toward the sound, eyes popping in sudden terror.)

Spike: Um, maybe we should figure it out later!

 

(The Princess swivels her head for a look, just in time for a hefty paw to thud onto the grass in the foreground. A cut back to the table reveals it to be attached to a timber wolf, which is soon joined by a second one that leaps onto the flat surface. Feral snarls and yellow-glowing eyes broadcast the woody beasts’ intentions all too clearly. Twilight gathers herself to cast a spell, but the flight camp shootout has left her so drained that she can only manage one spark that plops feebly to the ground. The timber wolves get a good lungful of her scent and send up a long howl as she sprints away, hefting Spike onto her back and powered by nerves and panic.)

 

(One after another, pairs of yellow eyes begin to glow in the underbrush lining the path. Cut to a head-on shot of the fleeing mare and rider; she slides to a sudden stop, and the camera zooms out to show that she has reached the edge of a ravine spanned by a stone bridge. A confused upward glance is followed by a cut to behind them and slow tilt up. The bridge is one of two that cross the gap; on the far side, a path winds through a grassy plateau to stop at the front entrance of a tall, imposing castle. Its façade of gray stone contrasts with the shades of blue on the towers, and mist swirls around the base to diffuse the moonlight into an eerie glow. A yellow crescent moon gleams from the topmost spire.)

 

Twilight: (now o.s.) The Castle of the Two Sisters!

 

(Also known as the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters. Close-up of the pair; the timber wolves’ howls are heard from somewhere close.)

 

Spike: (jumping off her back) Well… (now o.s.) …don’t just stand here!

 

(On the end of this, cut to the nearby bridge as he runs across. She gallops after him toward the castle, and the view cuts to a close-up of a pair of closed double doors as they burst in from outside and slam them shut. Once they have their lungs working properly again, they risk a look around and the camera zooms out to a very long shot of this entrance hall. It has the same structure as that seen in their visits to the ruined castle they know, but the décor is markedly different. The whole place is done in shades of purple, blue, and blue-green, and the rug, stained-glass windows, and hanging tapestries have a recurring star/planet/crescent-moon motif. Torches in the side entrances blaze to life with pale blue flames. Cut to their end at ground level, framing the stairs that stand at the far terminus; they walk into view toward these, and the camera then cuts to the landing as they mount to its level. A tapestry lies on the floor up here.)

 

Spike: This place looks a lot cleaner than I remember.

 

(The textile is swept away in a glow of magic that is not Twilight’s, and both she and Spike cringe mightily as the caster strides across in the fore. Seen only from the neck down, this pony has a white coat, purple foreleg shoes, sleeveless black/purple tailcoat over a blue blouse with a crescent-moon pin at the collar—and three very familiar blue lozenge-shaped gems on the haunch, just ahead of a purple tail tied into a bun. Both faces break into relieved smiles.)

 

Twilight: Rarity?

 

(Cut to frame the unicorn from behind; her mane is in a bun as well. Once she has the tapestry properly hung, she turns away from it with an air of irritation.)

 

Rarity: The castle isn’t open for viewings today. The tapestries all need changing—again! (Another tweak; Spike zips over to her.)

Spike: Rarity! It’s me! (She recoils in disgust.)

Rarity: (turning away) I don’t socialize with dragons. (walking off) I don’t know anypony who would.

 

(The reptilian face falls, the head spines droop, and the green eyes go big and sad as he utters a crushed little whimper. Now Twilight bounds over him and wheels to face Rarity.)

 

Twilight: Rarity, you have to listen to me. The future of Equestria is at stake!

Rarity: I don’t know how you know my name, but I am far too busy to entertain some tourist’s ridiculous fantasies. (She floats another tapestry up off the floor.)

Twilight: I have to get back to the map so I can stop Starlight from changing the past, because every present I come to is worse than the last!

 

(And now comes a voice she surely hoped, expected, and prayed never to hear again.)

 

Nightmare Moon: (from o.s.) Time travel, you say?

 

(Twilight swivels toward the source, a bat-winged throne standing in shadow on a two-level dais at the far end of the room. Even if the gleam of Nightmare’s blue helmet and chest piece were not dimly visible, the amorphous blue-violet vapor of her mane/tail would be a dead giveaway. Twilight and Spike recoil in horror, finally getting a good look at one of the hangings Rarity has been putting up: the midnight-hued villain of old, standing tall and proud on a full moon as the mists of her mane/tail snake down to envelop the trees below. Other windows and decorations in this throne room only serve to hammer the point home in both adventurers’ skulls, and the camera tilts down from the huge crescent moon mounted on top of the royal seat and zooms in on the former Mare in the Moon.)

 

Nightmare: (leaning forward into the light) Now that’s something I would like to see.

 

(Snap to black.)

 

 

Act Two

 

(Opening shot: fade in to Nightmare, cackling madly, and zoom out. Six armored, bat-winged ponies—similar to the ones that pulled Princess Luna’s chariot during her visit to Ponyville in “Luna Eclipsed”—advance from the dais to fall in on either side of Twilight and Spike. Their helmets incorporate face guards that leave only the eyes and chins visible.)

 

Nightmare: (flying off throne to land in front of them) Tell me how you came by this magic to travel through time.

 

(One of the six—with a sky-blue coat—speaks up in an instantly recognizable raspy voice that brims with barely checked anger.)

 

Rainbow: The Princess asked you a question!

 

(She pulls off her helmet, revealing a buzz-cut mane; zoom in on her. Unlike her counterpart in the Part One war against the Sombra, this one has an intact eye and ear.)

 

Rainbow: And unless you want to end up in the dungeon, you’ll tell her what she wants to know! (Twilight just stares, her mind blown.)

Nightmare: (quietly, menacingly) Nopony in my kingdom but me should possess a magic powerful enough to change time.

Spike: Your kingdom? (Twilight gives a him a “shut it” nudge.)

Nightmare: Who else?

Spike: Um…Celestia, of course.

 

(The mention of that name sparks uneasy glances between Rainbow and the nearest guard; Nightmare just goggles at him for a moment, then breaks into wild laughter.)

                                                                                                                 

Nightmare: My sister has been imprisoned in the moon for years!

 

(As she says this, she points toward a window and the camera zooms in on it; sure enough, there is the full moon, showing a mirror image of the “Mare in the Moon” crater pattern that had denoted Nightmare’s millennium of imprisonment. The two sisters’ showdown at the end of it resulted in the tables being turned, no doubt. Now Nightmare leans down into Twilight’s face.)

 

Nightmare: But it is no less a fate than she sentenced me to. (stomping a hoof) Now, reveal to me the source of this time magic!  

 

(After a brief pondering that seems to last a month, Twilight makes up her mind.)

 

Twilight: (quietly) All right.

Spike: (horrified) Twilight, no!

Twilight: We have no choice, Spike. (to Nightmare, stepping ahead) I can take you to it, but you’ll have to get past the timber wolves.

Nightmare: I am the ruler of all of Equestria. Do you think I can’t deal with timber wolves?

Twilight: No. I know you can.

Nightmare: (lighting horn) And if you were thinking of trying to escape…

 

(Her magic floats Spike up to eye level and conjures up several lengths of chain, which wrap around his body to pin his arms to his sides.)

 

Nightmare: …it would be very unfortunate for your friend.

 

(To which Twilight responds by cringing and chewing her lower lip fearfully, wondering just exactly what she has gotten herself into. Dissolve to the marred moon and tilt down to a path through the underbrush; in the distance, timber wolf snarls are met by flashes of magic. The creature bounds into view, yelping in pain and fear, but Nightmare pursues at a leisurely walking pace and blows it to kindling before it can clear the next turn. She is accompanied by a sullen-faced Twilight.)

 

Nightmare: How does it work? (Two guards bring up the rear; Spike is levitated along.)

Twilight: A pony from my time used a spell to go back and change the past. (They have reached the map table.)

Nightmare: (walking to it) And now you will give this spell to me. (Close-up.) With it, I will ensure that the Elements of Harmony are never found and my reign lasts forever!

Twilight: (from o.s.) But it won’t.

Nightmare: What? (Cut to Twilight, smiling savagely.)

Twilight: In my world, my friends and I found the Elements and used them to defeat you! (spreading wings) And I will do everything in my power to bring that world back!

Nightmare: (rearing up) No!

 

(Twilight teleports away to avoid the beam Nightmare fires at her, and a second burst takes Spike off the scene, leaving only broken chain fragments in his place. She reappears on the table, the baby dragon safe on her back, and hits it with a shot to open the portal and get off this crazy train.)

 

Nightmare: NOOOOOO!!

 

(The glare of the portal’s closing fills the screen. From here, snap to the skies above the flight camp as they are ejected; Twilight instantly comes up in a hover and lets go with a blast. It scores a bullseye on the hovering Starlight and encases her in a chunk of crystal, just as she did to Twilight and Spike in Part One. The only difference is that this one is magenta instead of blue. The trapped unicorn drops a few yards and whumps onto a layer of cloud, and Twilight flies over to her.)

 

Twilight: Now more than ever, I know how important it is to stop you!

 

(Starlight’s horn blazes up to shatter the prison; she rises off the cloud, looking as if she and sanity are about to part ways once and for all.)

 

Starlight: Well, good luck!

 

(She flies off, chased by Twilight/Spike. The foals’ race ranges through the cloud hoops, but Rainbow loses her lead when one pinkish-violet hoof is thrust into view to send her tumbling away with a yell. Starlight aims a satisfied glare after the two colts once they have passed; Twilight mounts a midair charge, but it gets cut off when the portal reopens to pull her out. Again the glare of its closing whites out the screen, which then snaps to a close-up of the map table as she and Spike thump gracelessly onto it. None of the broken thrones stand around it anymore, as will be the case in all subsequent trips, and the surrounding land has been absolutely torn apart. Both the map and the sky have gone a sick shade of red, different from the map’s color during the war with Sombra, and a tremor shakes the ground. Mare and dragon look up in wordless terror and find themselves regarding Tirek—the centaur who tried to drain all Equestria of its magic in “Twilight’s Kingdom.” Grown once again to giant size, he fires a wide beam from his horns and sweeps it across the shredded landscape to blow away anything and everything it touches. Spike whips out the trusty scroll, which Twilight levitates up and away to jump-start the portal.)

 

(A flare of white light fills the screen; snap to the Cloudsdale sky again as she arrives, carrying Spike and with the scroll stowed away. She fires off a spell, which Starlight dodges; behind her, Filly RD hovers above Filly FS, Colt Dumbbell, and Colt Hoops. The wannabe stunt flyer, in the midst of berating the two bullies, takes the hit and ends up frozen in a crystal block that thumps onto the clouds. Starlight claps slowly and sarcastically at this grade-A screw-up. Another flash from the portal, and the view has shifted to a pile of squeaky pony dolls, from which Twilight and Spike pop their heads up—the map has been switched out. The silhouettes of floating midair islands can be seen in the grayish-green sky behind them, and the two time travelers are very surprised to see Princesses Celestia and Luna gallop past—ridiculously colored clothing, red rubber-ball noses, manes/tails fluffed up like clown wigs. A cut to just behind the pile gives away the glaringly obvious conclusion—Discord has taken over the joint. Houses and buildings have been inverted and stuck up in the air, and the path leading to Ponyville is done in a light blue checkerboard pattern. The draconequus has donned a crown and a red fur robe trimmed in white and is carrying a gold scepter topped with a likeness of his own head. He rides a unicycle in a circle, chasing the deposed Princesses around and around and loving every second of it. Pies begin to rain down, one landing squarely on Twilight’s head, and she throws the dirtiest look she can muster.)

 

(Flash to the Cloudsdale sky. A now-clean Twilight drops out of the portal with Spike on her back, prepares to launch a humdinger of a spell, but checks it with a look of stunned surprise. Filly FS is being maneuvered through the cloud hoops by Starlight’s magic in an impromptu flying lesson. Colt Dumbbell and Colt Hoops applaud the effort and fly off after the yellow pegasus, and Starlight grins nastily back toward her nemesis. Another flash, and Twilight and Spike are lying atop the map table under a sky that has gone a rather unhealthy shade of smoggy grayish-brown that is matched by the map. They get up for a look around, only to be shocked when a large mechanical arm reaches into view and clamps onto the nearest tree, ripping it up with seemingly no effort. Cut to a close-up of a stylized drawing of the Flim Flam Brothers standing under a sunburst graphic and zoom out. The image does not include the unicorns’ boater hats, and this is matched by the pair at the controls of a caterpillar-tracked “feller buncher”—a machine that can cut down or uproot trees and stack them in piles for later removal—with a pair of fuzzy dice hanging from the ceiling. The rig rumbles away, carrying the tree it has just torn out; in the distance, more than one factory belches filth into the sky. The soot and smog are thick enough to hide the summit of a nearby mountain.)

 

(Flash to the Cloudsdale sky. Here come Twilight and Spike again, barely avoiding the magic blast that Starlight sends their way.)

 

Starlight: (from o.s.) Up for another race-ending fight, Twilight?

 

(Cut to her on this last word, standing on a cloud high above the race’s starting line. The main event is about to begin, and Twilight flies to perch on a second cloud at her level.)

 

Twilight: (quietly, resolutely) No. You were right. I can’t stop you.

 

(The pinkish-violet unicorn rises to her hind legs, warming up her horn with an expression of savage triumph, but Twilight raises a shield to block her shot. Dropping it just as quickly, the winged pony glares across at her opposite number.)

 

Twilight: But you can’t stop me from trying. And we could be stuck doing this for all eternity!

Starlight: If that’s what it takes to keep you and your friends from getting your cutie mark connection, then I’m game!

 

(Another shot, another block. The camera stays on Twilight as she floats a wisp of cloud over toward herself and shapes it into a slope, with a house at the bottom.)

 

Twilight: What you’re doing goes way beyond cutie marks. (pushing a little ball up to the top) Everything we do here in the past— (letting go; it grows while rolling) —even the smallest change, can snowball into an avalanche of trouble for the future!

 

(The ball hits the house and pulverizes it on the end of this line, after which the whole display gets blasted into nothingness by Starlight.)

 

Starlight: (from o.s., casually) Oh. (Cut to her; mocking singsong tone.) Next I suppose you’ll tell me that the fate of all of Equestria hangs in the balance.

Twilight: It does!

Starlight: Spare me your overblown ego! (as Filly RD flies past in the background) No group of friends, not even Princess Twilight’s, is that important!

 

(A well-placed spell zaps the young flyer, throwing her into a wild, yelling tumble and leaving Colt Dumbbell and Colt Hoops to race on. The portal opens above Twilight’s head, sucking Spike in on the start of the next line.)

 

Twilight: I don’t know how important other ponies’ friendships are to the future, but I can show you what the world is like without mine!

 

(With that, she hurls herself across the gap between the two clouds, seizing Starlight and dragging her along for the ride. Fade to white as the portal shrinks away, then in to a landscape unlike any other alternate-present version of Equestria seen so far. As far as the eye can see, there is simply nothing alive in this place. The ground is a rocky, blasted waste, while the sky is cloudless and dark, with only a dim orange fringe of sunset at the horizon. Only a few dead, gnarled trees and lifeless clumps of grass suggest that any living thing once resided here. A relentless wind howls across the land as the camera pans slowly to Starlight; she faces the desolation silently for some moments before turning away with a glare of purest fury.)

 

Starlight: Where are we?

 

(Long shot: she faces the map table, with Twilight standing next to it and Spike on top. The map has taken on the no-color of the ground.)

 

Twilight: The future, or rather, the present.

Starlight: But there’s nothing here.

Twilight: I wish I could say I was surprised, but every world I come back to is worse than the last. I don’t know why my friends and I are so important to Equestria, but we are.

Starlight: (grimacing) I don’t believe you!

Spike: Come on, Starlight, look around. (She does so.)

Twilight: Like I said, everything in the past affects the future. (Close-up; she lifts some dirt on a hoof and the wind blows it away.) Even the tiniest act. And what you’re doing leads here.

 

(Zoom out to put a suddenly pensive Starlight in the fore.)

 

Twilight: I know I can’t stop you, but I thought showing you this might change your mind. (The rancor returns to her opponent’s face.)

Starlight: (stomping a hoof, turning to Twilight) Change my mind? You don’t know anything about me. (jumping toward her) I was perfectly happy before you and your friends ruined what I built!

Twilight: I don’t know what happened that led you to make your village without cutie marks. And I’m sorry my friends and I had to take it away.

Starlight: You want to know what happened to me?!? (She floats up, horn blazing, and positions herself over the table.) I’ll show you!

 

(All four hooves hit the surface so she can let her magic wash over the map to blank it out. The ticking arcane symbols that had marked the portal spring into being around the circumference as all three are pulled through the luminous circle and out of sight. Those runes are last to go, the sheen of power instantly evaporating to leave the map as it was.)

 

(Cut to a tranquil village elsewhere in Equestria during the day. A flash in the foreground deposits them not too far from a cluster of houses.)

 

Twilight: Where are we?

Starlight: (scornfully) That map of yours is connected to every part of Equestria. (walking ahead) And this part is my home.

 

(Princess and dragon trade an uncertain look, but set off after her. Cut to inside one house, the camera positioned well above floor level to frame the high arched ceiling and the upper portion of a very tall stack of books. One is levitated onto the top, and the camera tilts down to show the whole assembly balanced on a small table in the living room. Two unicorn foals regard it from opposite sides, neither having yet gained a cutie mark. One, sitting on her haunches and applauding this display, is a young Starlight wearing her mane tied in two pigtails with blue-green ribbons. The other, a standing colt who drops to match her position, is Sunburst: bright yellow-orange coat, pale tan “blaze” stripe down his nose and matching “sock” markings on all four legs, short mane/tail in two shades of red-orange, blue-green eyes. He is the one who set the last book, and a set of shelves behind them has been picked clean to provide the building materials. On the start of the next line, zoom out slowly to show Twilight, Spike, and the full-grown Starlight looking on from a window outside.)

 

Starlight: (wistfully) Sunburst and I did everything together. In fact, I don’t remember us ever being apart— (Just inside the window; her face hardens.) —until today.

 

(Her tongue clamped between her teeth, Filly SG uses her field to ease a volume out from the lowest levels of this tower. This move destabilizes the whole thing and sets it toppling toward her; she hunches down in close-up to protect herself, but the sheer poundage of all the hardbacks never makes contact once the glow of Sunburst’s magic seizes them. His playmate’s eyes widen disbelievingly as he effortlessly floats them all away and gets them going in a circle around himself, levitating his own body off the floor in the bargain. Golden light blazes out around him, and within seconds the books are back on the shelves; it fades away as he drops back to his hooves, and a glowing spot appears on his haunch. In close-up, this flares brightly for a moment and then fades away to leave behind a cutie mark consisting of an orange sun surrounded by two-tone blue sparkles and throwing off a cluster of bright beams. Letting off an ecstatic neigh, he jumps nearly halfway to the top of the doorframe behind him and trots out past a floored Filly SG.)

 

(Cut to just inside the front door; outside, Sunburst and his parents, both unicorns, instantly become the center of attention. His father magically lifts him off the ground to show off the new mark as Filly SG moves across the floor for a look. A head-on shot of her picks out the utter dejection that has settled in at being so easily ignored, and tears gather in the bright blue eyes.)

 

Starlight: (from o.s.) And just like that, my friend was gone. (Zoom out as she continues; she stands at the bottom of the stoop.) His family recognized his magical talent— (Filly SG goes back into the house.) —and sent him off to Canterlot. I never saw him again.

 

(On the end of this, pan slightly to frame Twilight and Spike looking on.)

 

Spike: Well, why not? (Starlight rounds on him, her anger instantly returning.)

Starlight: Because of his cutie mark! (poking his chest) He got his, and I didn’t! (She turns to Twilight.) He moved on, and I didn’t! (tearing up) I stayed here and never made another friend because I was too afraid another cutie mark would take them away too!

Twilight: That’s ridiculous. A cutie mark can’t take your friends away.

Starlight: (wiping eyes; horn glows) Not everypony’s lucky enough to get her cutie mark at the same time as her friends!

 

(A bolt of lightning crackles upward from the tip, opening the portal and dragging all three of them in for yet another ride. The accompanying flash whites out the screen, and here they are again in the Cloudsdale sky, above the foals’ racecourse as they take off. Starlight drops out first, then Twilight with Spike on her back; they land at opposite ends of one cloud, facing each other, the former with her horn still glowing.)

 

Starlight: (viciously) You don’t know what it’s like to lose a friend because of a cutie mark— (shifting gears, smiling madly) —but once I stop the Rainboom, you will!

 

(She magically relieves Spike of his backpack and hovers it in front of herself, opening it to bring out the scroll and unroll it. Zoom in slowly.)

 

Starlight: And when I destroy this scroll— (Drop the bag.) —there’ll be no way for you to change it!

 

(Cut to an extreme close-up of the parchment’s blank flip side. A rip begins to work its way slowly down from the top edge, the halves pulling apart to frame the horror-stricken visages of Twilight and Spike. Snap to black.)

 

 

Act Three

 

(Opening shot: fade in to a point just behind Starlight, the camera aimed at a desperate Twilight and Spike.)

 

Twilight: Starlight, you’re right! I don’t know what you went through, but I do know you can’t do this! (The three foals zoom through the hoops.) I’ve seen where this leads, and so have you!

Starlight: I only saw what you showed me. Who knows what’ll really happen?

 

(Around a column; Colt Dumbbell is no longer with them—evidently he has had his race-ending wipeout.)

 

Twilight: I’ve seen it a dozen times. Things don’t turn out well in Equestria without my friends.

Starlight: (rolling eyes, tearing scroll further) Ugh! What’s so special about your friends? How can a group of ponies that are so different be so important?

 

(Filly RD flies past, barely keeping ahead of Colt Hoops.)

 

Twilight: (moving slowly toward Starlight) The differences between me and my friends are the very things that make our friendships strong!

Starlight: (tearing up) I thought Sunburst and I were the same. But we turned out different— (ripping scroll nearly in half) —and it tore our friendship apart! (Twilight rises off the cloud.)

Twilight: So try again! Make new friends! And if something that you can’t control happens that changes things, work through it together! (Cut to Starlight, zooming in slowly; she continues o.s.) That’s what friendship is! (The rancorous expression begins to soften; she blinks her tears away.) And it’s not just my friendships that are important to Equestria.

 

(Back to her and Spike, the camera focused on one pegasus foal bringing a wrapped gift to two others on a cloud.)

 

Twilight: Everypony’s are! (Focus shifts to her.) When yours ended, it led us here. (Back to Starlight; she continues o.s.) But just imagine all the others that are out there waiting for you if you just give them a chance!

Starlight: (tearing up again, voice trembling) How do I know they won’t all end the same way?

Twilight: (touching down) I guess it’s up to you to make sure they don’t.

 

(She smiles gently and extends a hoof as Colt Hoops rockets past, followed by Filly RD with the beginnings of a Sonic Rainboom forming around her. Starlight glances hesitantly toward the foals…then blinks her eyes dry and  recoils as if the hoof might become a cobra and sink its fangs into her…and then, with infinite delicacy, rests one of hers on top of it with a watery-eyed smile and lets her horn wind down, tears again gathering under the blue pupils for a moment. The nearly-bifurcated scroll flutters down, forgotten by the two mares, but Spike makes a last-second grab to haul it in. In a long overhead shot, Filly RD sets off the Rainboom and launches into the steep climb that follows, tracing out a rainbow with her contrail as she arcs over the reconciled foes. Once more the portal opens overhead, draws the mares and dragon up into itself, and vanishes.)

 

(Cut to the throne room of Twilight’s castle, exactly as it was before all this temporal insanity began. The camera is positioned at the level of the tree-stump chandelier, where the portal forms and belches them out onto the floor. The rolled-up scroll is whisked out of Spike’s grip; he can do no more than reach futilely upward as it floats up, unfurls on its own, and becomes encased in a sphere of magical energy. All three get upright in time to see a beam shoot upward from the map table and connect with it; the power is gradually siphoned away to leave the map in its original blue color and showing Equestria as it should be. With the connection broken, the scroll floats slowly upward through the portal, which disintegrates in a blinding white flash. Cut to a long shot of the castle, the brilliance pouring out from every window and doorway to white out the screen, and zoom out as it fades away in a rain of sparks. All the damage done to Ponyville has been reversed—the long, strange trip is finally over.)

 

(Inside the throne room, Spike throws himself down and kisses the floor repeatedly.)

 

Spike: One Castle of Friendship, check.

 

(Its first mention by that specific name. The doors swing open; on the start of the next line, pan slightly to frame them fully, as well as the five mares standing/hovering at the entrance. They too are back to their old selves, as seen in crystal-clear detail when the camera focus shifts to them.)

 

Rarity: What in Equestria was that?

Fluttershy: Is everypony okay? (Squeal from Pinkie.)

Pinkie: Can you do it again? (Cut to the returned travelers; Spike is now standing again.)

Spike: One group of amazing friends, check.

Twilight: (patting his shoulder) Yeah, Spike. It looks like we’re home.

Applejack: (from o.s.) Uh…

 

(Cut to her, Fluttershy, and Rarity; she aims a hairy eyeball into the room, while the others show different degrees of shock and fear.)

 

Applejack: …what’s she doin’ here?

 

(“She” averts her eyes as Twilight moves a bit closer.)

 

Twilight: Actually, it’s kind of a long story.

 

(She lays a hoof across her opposite number’s back, and both faces come over smiling—one gentle, one tentative. Dissolve to Starlight pacing worriedly outside the now-closed doors of the throne room. Zoom in slowly to the sound of muffled discussion within, then cut to an overhead shot of the Ponyville septet on their thrones and zoom in slowly.)

 

Rainbow: I mean, I knew my Rainboom was awesome— (Close-up.) —but I never thought all of Equestria depended on it. (Zoom out to frame Fluttershy and Pinkie.)

Pinkie: Or on us!

Twilight: (from o.s.) I think it’s more than that. (Cut to her and Spike.) Friendship connects all of Equestria, and undoing one group of friends made its magic less powerful.

Applejack: I can’t believe y’all were able to travel through time like that.

Pinkie: That Starlight must be pretty magical.

Twilight: She obviously has more talent for magic than almost anypony I’ve seen.

 

(Cut to the opposite side of the table, framing her through the opening between Applejack’s and Rarity’s thrones. Slow pan.)

 

Twilight: My magic couldn’t stop her. I had to convince her to stop on her own. Once I realized that, everything fell into place. (Cut to Applejack.)

Applejack: But…if she’s as powerful as all that, we can’t just send her on her way…can we?

Twilight: Actually, I kind of have something else in mind.

 

(She and her number-one assistant trade smiles.  Cut to Starlight in the corridor; one door swings open and Spike steps out to beckon her in, prompting her to recoil as if he had come out swinging a machete. As he retreats beyond the doors, she swallows hard, voices a sigh from the bottom of her lungs, and turns to follow him. Inside, she slowly moves toward the table, the camera tilting down from a long overhead shot to follow her.)

 

Starlight: I know there’s no excuse for what I did, but I want you all to know that I’m ready for whatever punishment you think is fair. (Table level.)

Twilight: I’ve been thinking a lot about how badly Equestria fared without just one group of friends. Because even when one friendship dies, the results can be disastrous. (Cut to Starlight.)

Starlight: (sighing) I know first-hoof how true that can be. (Zoom out slightly; Twilight moves to her, smiling.)

Twilight: And that’s why I’ve asked you here. (lifting Starlight’s chin) If you’re willing to learn, I’m willing to teach you what I know.

 

(The blue eyes widen as the brain behind them starts to comprehend that no brutal reprisals are about to come down the pipe. Cut to a slow pan across the rest of the gang, a smile or grin on every face.)

 

Twilight: (from o.s.) You’ll have the power to make Equestria an even better place. (Back to her and Starlight; the latter’s grin melts into uncertainty.)

Starlight: (softly, behind a hoof) How do I start?

Twilight: Starting is easy. (touching Starlight gently) All you have to do is make a friend— (Smile.) —and you’ve got seven of them right here.

 

(On the end of this line, zoom out as the others gather around.)

 

Light mandolin/flute melody with bass drum beats, moderate 4 (D major)

 

(Everything around Starlight fades to black.)

 

Starlight:            I never thought that I would find a place

(She becomes her pigtailed filly self; a flare of light washes into view from o.s. It is coming from Sunburst’s family and friends, who are tossing him cheerfully into the air; she turns away dejectedly.)

                            To step right in and start again

Cymbal in

(She passes ghostly images of colts and fillies playing, and ages up again just in time to stop before a phantom Twilight, who fully solidifies.)

                            I never thought that I could just begin

(The winged unicorn beams at her.)

                            Right where I left off and make a friend

 

(Twilight lets a light blaze up from her horn to fill the screen; it fades out to show them in a castle corridor, and they trot along it.)

 

Strings, snare drum in; flute, cymbal out

 

Twilight:             Don’t ever think that it might be too late

(Outside; the front doors open under her magic and they stand looking out. Twilight waves to the other five mares on the path leading to the steps.)

                            You don’t have to wait, there’s no mistakes with the friends you make

(The two descend to ground level, Twilight shifting into a hover with the others.)

Bass guitar in

                            A friendship’s only made of what you bring

(Applejack shakes the unicorn’s hoof, Fluttershy and Rarity greet her warmly, and Pinkie lands a gleeful flying tackle.)

                            And if you do it right, you can do anything

Cymbal in

 

(Amused reactions from the five not laid out on the ground. A leafy tree bough rises past the screen; behind its trailing edge, the view wipes to an overhead shot of Spike and the seven mares. Playing a snare drum, he leads them along the path in a single line that reaches from one side to the other.)

 

Mares:                Just use your eyes this time, no lies

(Two horizontal panels slide in from opposite sides to fill the screen: Applejack/Rainbow/Rarity on top, Twilight/Fluttershy/Pinkie on bottom. These slide away to give an extreme close-up of Starlight’s face; zoom out to a slow-motion shot of all eight bounding ahead.)

                            Just don’t disguise who you are inside

 

(A gale of light blue-green gems floats past, the view wiping behind them to the showroom of the Carousel Boutique. Starlight stands on the three-mirror platform, wearing a simple dark dress that Rarity is altering with the help of her reading glasses and being observed by Spike. The designer levitates several gems into view and affixes them to the skirt, to the approval of herself, the model, and the one-dragon audience who has put away his drum.)

 

Mandolin out; horns, glockenspiel in

Mares:                Because your friends are always there for you

(A swarm of butterflies surges past; behind them, wipe to Fluttershy and Starlight in a sunlit forest, one hovering and the other floating. They settle down, the camera zooming out to show a gathering of the pegasus’ animal friends—including Harry the bear.)

                            You don’t have to be the same for friendship to be true

(The jumbo ursine sweeps Starlight up in a crushing hug. Now a cloud and patch of sky slide down from above to replace this view; Rainbow flies through a floating hoop and waves for Starlight to duplicate the maneuver, and the two then zoom off together.)

                            Because your friends are always there for you

(Apples rain down next, the view wiping to a couple of trees in Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack and Starlight do a little applebucking, bringing down a shower of fruit. Balloons float up, triggering a wipe to the Sugarcube Corner kitchen. Pinkie brings up a tray of cupcakes, one of which Starlight chomps down to leave a few crumbs on her cheeks; both wear white chef’s toques.)

                            Around the world it’s still the same, together you have more to gain

(The pink star from Twilight’s cutie mark appears and grows to fill the screen; from here, snap to the throne room and zoom in on her and Starlight. The unicorn has cleaned up and ditched the toque, and both are avidly studying one of several books on the now-bare map table as Spike snoozes.)

                            There’s nothing that a friend won’t do

 

Full percussion with horns/strings/bass; intensity builds

Background lyrics are in square brackets

 

(Cut to behind the pair, stopping on the last ridge before the road leading down to the desert village over which Starlight held sway in “The Cutie Map.” Among the houses, Double Diamond, Night Glider, Party Favor, and Sugar Belle break off their conversation and glance up the road with unease and suspicion.)

 

Mares:                Everywhere you go, friendship there will grow                       

(As Twilight hangs back, Starlight stands before them and bows her head in contrition; they respond with a round of smiles and a forgiving group hug.)

                            When you find it, it’s the key, friends can change the world, you see

(Cut to a slow pan across the septet of new friends walking along a Ponyville street. Pinkie and Rarity have shed their toque and glasses, respectively.)

                            Everywhere you go, friendship there will grow             

(They stop, other ponies falling in around them by the dozens.)

                            When you find it, it’s the key, friends can change the world [oh-h]

(Starlight and her new friends, including Spike—who has now ditched his drum—gather in for a blissful hug at the center of the sea of smiling faces.)

                            Friends can change the world, friends can change the world, you see

 

All instruments out; piano in for a final four-bar figure

Tempo slows gradually before song ends

(Zoom out slowly and fade to black at the same time.)