PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE—PART ONE
Written by Meghan McCarthy
Produced by Sarah Wall, Devon Cody
Story editing by Meghan McCarthy
Supervising direction by Jayson Thiessen
Co-directed by Jim Miller
Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)
Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to a stretch of grassland between buildings in Canterlot during the day. Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Spike stand at the edge of a stream, looking up at the hovering Rainbow Dash. Twilight Sparkle flies erratically into view toward her, and the two gain a bit of altitude as the violet flyer becomes increasingly unnerved at being off the ground.)
Rainbow: You gotta really flap ’em hard.
(Twilight does so, generating enough of a draft to push Rainbow back a few feet, and goes into a tumble.)
Twilight: Whoa!
(Momentum carries her o.s.; a thud, and the camera cuts to the tree branch that has most unceremoniously halted her flight. She hangs dazedly over it, a bird’s nest on her head and its former occupant chirping angrily at her. Here comes the blue pegasus as she pulls herself up to sit on the limb.)
Rainbow: Ooh—maybe not quite that hard.
(Cut to another patch of sky, where Twilight puts forth her best effort at a controlled descent only to have it get away from her in a hurry. She has shed the nest.)
Twilight: Whooooaaaa!
(This time, the ground gets the honor of stopping her cold; she ends up sprawled woozily on the grass as Applejack trots over to her.)
Applejack: (helping her up) Lookin’ good up there, Princess Twilight!
Twilight: (smiling sheepishly; Applejack steps back) Applejack, you know you don’t have to call me that.
(On the start of the next line, pan to Fluttershy and Rarity standing nearby.)
Rarity: Why do you protest so? (stepping a little closer) You’ve already given up wearing your crown all the time. The least you can do is embrace your new title.
Twilight: (crossing to her) If other ponies want to address me that way, I suppose it’s fine, but… (Zoom out to frame the entire group.) …not my friends. (Rainbow lands.) It just doesn’t feel right. (sighing, spreading wings) And neither does all this flying business.
(Cut to a slow pan across the area; ponies are maneuvering balloons and banners to hang on buildings and boughs—of trees, that is.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) The Summer Sun Celebration is only two days away, and I’m never gonna be ready to perform my part. (Cut to her, Fluttershy, Rainbow, and Rarity.)
Rainbow: Not if you spend all your time down here, you won’t. Now get up there and show everypony the big finish!
(Twilight nods, having found new resolve, and stretches every feather as far as it will go. Her takeoff is smooth, her rise crisp, and she gets a round of cheers from the ground crowd. In short order she is zooming ahead, the wind singing in her ears.)
Twilight: Woo-hoo! (Elation turns to sudden panic; she hits the midair brakes.) Whoooaaa!
(Too late to avoid smashing through a line of clouds, though. Once she finally comes to a stop, she coughs out a few puffs of water vapor, then—having forgotten to keep flapping—drops like a four-legged rock. Flailing legs/wings and screaming lungs accompany her plummet, which she turns into a swoop just in time to avoid wiping out the rest of the gang. This in turn gives way to the world’s shrillest loop-the-loop, capped by a belly landing and slide through the dirt that leaves Twilight at the bottom of a very deep trench. Cut to just inside it, the camera pointing up toward the sky, as the other mares and the number-one assistant gather around. All are worried save Pinkie, whose excitement comes through loud and clear.)
Pinkie: Wow! That was a big finish!
(Zoom out slightly to frame Twilight, still face down in the topsoil. She voices a weary groan before the view snaps to black.)
OPENING THEME
Act One
(Opening shot: snap to a stained-glass window within Canterlot Castle: a hovering Twilight wearing her tiara. Zoom out to frame the Ponyville seven regarding this work. At the bottom edge are two open books; one has a quill poised over its pages, and is the volume containing the spell by Starswirl the Bearded that she rewrote in “Magical Mystery Cure,” while the other bears her cutie mark.)
Rarity: (to Twilight) You look amazing, darling! They’ve really captured your regality.
Twilight: I suppose.
Rarity: Oh, don’t be so modest. (Overhead shot, tilting slowly toward the window.) It’s everypony’s dream to someday wear a crown and have their coronation ceremony preserved in stained glass for all to see. (Happy little squeak; cut to a skeptical Rainbow.)
Rainbow: I don’t know if it’s everypony’s dream.
Pinkie: Most of my dreams are about frosting.
(The idea sends her into a brief, blissful shudder with a lick of the chops and a lot of drool.)
Fluttershy: We’d better get going. We don’t want to miss our train.
Applejack: Fluttershy’s right. Don’t know about y’all, but I’ve still got bushels to do to get ready. The official Celebration may be here in Canterlot, but hoo-wee! Has the Mayor put us in charge of one heck of a party back home!
(One hot-off-the-press Princess lets her head droop dejectedly at the prospect of missing it, but Applejack crosses to lift her chin gently.)
Applejack: Aw, don’t look like that, sugar cube. You get to be right there with the other Princesses when Celestia raises the sun.
Twilight: And I’m honored. Really I am. It’s just that the Summer Sun Celebration is what first brought us all together. (The others gather closer.) It just doesn’t feel right, not getting to spend such a special day with my Ponyville friends.
Rarity: It doesn’t feel right to us either, darling. If the Mayor wasn’t so desperate for our assistance, we’d most certainly stay here in Canterlot. (Cut to Twilight and Applejack; she continues o.s.) And of course, we do understand that your royal duties must come first.
Applejack: (touching Twilight’s chest) The Summer Sun Celebration may have brought us together— (pointing to her own) —but it’s somethin’ much bigger that’ll always keep us connected.
(She gestures to another window whose lower half is in view: the six mares using the power of the Elements of Harmony to defeat Nightmare Moon, suspended above them in the purifying energy.)
Applejack: Exhibit A!
(Close-up of the winged unicorn figure, tilting down slowly.)
Applejack: (from o.s.) The six of us are united by the Elements of Harmony. No amount of royal duties is gonna change that. (Cut to all but Pinkie.) Right, everypony?
(Nods and sounds of assent from Fluttershy/Rainbow/Rarity; Twilight looks off to the side, puzzled, and Applejack follows her gaze.)
Applejack: (testily) Right, Pinkie Pie? (Others look this way; cut to her.)
Pinkie: (dreamily) Creamy, creamy frosting…
(Out comes the tongue to lick at her chops again; this time, Fluttershy zips over with a handkerchief to wipe up the drool as she shudders happily.)
Fluttershy: (over her shoulder) You should take that as a yes.
(Pan to the others, who smile confusedly, then dissolve to a close-up of a train whistle as it sounds off. The next shot is a head-on view of the locomotive, panning to frame the group of seven on the platform at the Canterlot train station during the next line. The engineer glances out the window and back toward them.)
Pinkie: We’re gonna write you and give you so many details, it’ll be like you’re in Ponyville with us! Right, girls?
(Cut to a close-up of Applejack and Rarity, panning to frame Fluttershy and Rainbow on the following.)
Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow, Rarity: Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.
(Accompanied by the gestures Pinkie used when she first took this oath in “Green Isn’t Your Color.” The view cuts to Twilight and Spike, then zooms out to frame Rarity crossing to her on the start of the next line. The designer has her reading glasses on and is levitating a notebook, scroll, and set of color swatches.)
Rarity: And you will be with us right after the Celebration. (magically opening book, flipping pages) We already have an appointment on the books to discuss the royal upgrades to your loft décor. (She floats the items away; whistle blows.)
Engineer: (from o.s.) All aboard for Ponyville!
(There follows a quick group hug administered by all mares except Pinkie; they then head for the train, after which the party pony rockets into view.)
Pinkie: Whee!
(She tackles Twilight to the platform for a good long hug and hops back toward the train. The violet bookworm stands up in time to see all five waving goodbye as the wheels start to roll; she turns away, letting her head droop with a heavy sigh. Rarity has put away her glasses.)
Twilight: I can’t help it, Spike. They’ve only been gone a minute, and I already feel like I’m missing something. (A mail-carrier pegasus stallion flies over to her, pink envelope in hoof.)
Mail carrier: For the Princess.
(Passing it to Spike, he flies away. The baby dragon pulls out a sheet.)
Spike: (reading) “Dear Twilight: You aren’t missing anything. Your friend, Pinkie Pie.” (The two trade a smile.)
Pinkie: (from o.s, distant) THAAAT’S MEEEEEEE!!
(Surprised by her call, the two look out along the track and see the train chugging away, their friends’ laughter carrying back even at this range. Cut to the platform, zooming out slowly.)
Twilight: (softly) But I am. I just know it.
(Dissolve to a close-up of a checklist held by Spike; he reaches into view with a pencil in his free hand.)
Spike: (from o.s., marking boxes) Check, check, check…
(Head-on view of him; the list stretches along the floor, that of a bedroom in the castle. Books are stacked up behind him.)
Spike: (marking more boxes) …check, and check! Huh, what do you know? We’re way ahead of schedule. (Zoom out; Twilight drops to a hover alongside.) I credit your extremely competent assistant.
(As her forelegs touch the tiles, she very nearly topples forward but manages to get all four hooves firmly on the ground.)
Twilight: So do I.
Spike: The Celebration isn’t until the day after tomorrow. We could still fit in a quick trip to Ponyville and be back in plenty of time to finish off these last few things before the main event.
Twilight: (sighing) That would be nice, Spike. But what if something else came up while we were gone? (pacing) What if we were delayed getting back and I wasn’t able to finish everything on that list? (increasingly flustered, rising toward ceiling) What if we lost the list on the way to Ponyville and then couldn’t remember which things we’d done and which things we hadn’t done, and then spent so much time trying to figure out what we hadn’t done and what we had done that we ruined the entire Celebration by not doing the one really important thing that we were supposed to do?!?
(Her half-unhinged rambling and her unplanned ascent both end when she bangs her head into the ceiling, crashing back to the floor.)
Spike: Uh…so that’s a no, then? (She gets in his face.)
Twilight: These are the first royal duties Princess Celestia has given me. I can’t risk letting her down!
Princess Celestia: (from o.s.) And I’m sure you won’t.
(The violet royal throws a fearful glance back over her shoulder; pan quickly in that direction to the open door, where her longtime teacher just stands calmly and walks in.)
Spike: Your Highness!
(He bows low in front of her, Twilight doing likewise a moment later.)
Celestia: No need for that now, Princess Twilight.
(Both raise their faces as she speaks, and she gently lifts Twilight up to full vertical with a knee under the chin.)
Twilight: Sorry.
Celestia: (laughing softly) No need to apologize.
Twilight: Sorry! (Big placating grin; Spike stands up.)
Celestia: (walking farther into room) I must admit that it is wonderful to actually be looking forward to the Summer Sun Celebration. (Cut to Twilight as she finishes.)
Twilight: What do you mean?
(Celestia gazes out a window, through which the sky is deepening into evening. Across the way, Princess Luna stands on a tower balcony, using her magic to raise the moon. The white sovereign continues in a tone of regret not heard from her in any of the previous three seasons.)
Celestia: For my subjects, it has always been a celebration of my defeat of Nightmare Moon. But for me… (Heavy sigh; zoom in slowly on the balcony, putting her o.s.) …it was just a terrible reminder that I’d had to banish my own sister.
(A look of concern passes between bibliophile and dragon.)
Twilight: I guess I’d never really thought about it that way. (Celestia turns from the window and smiles.)
Celestia: But now it has become a wonderful reminder of her transformation back into Princess Luna and our happy reunion. I am so pleased that you will be playing a role the festivities. I know it must have been difficult to see your friends return to Ponyville without you. (Cut to a close-up of Twilight on the end of this.)
Twilight: Maybe a little. (Back to Celestia.)
Celestia: You may no longer be my student, Princess Twilight, but I hope you know that I will always be here if you need me… (She bends down to look Twilight in the eye.) …just as I hope that you will always be there when I need you.
(The two Princesses share a comforting nuzzle, which is interrupted when Spike reaches into view and taps Twilight’s shoulder for attention. The sound of his clearing throat snaps her back to the here and now; zoom out to frame both him and the mail carrier from the train station. The pegasus carries an envelope, this one a normal white rather than pink.)
Spike: I think this guy needs you.
Mail carrier: (stammering a bit) Message for Princess Twilight.
(The envelope is floated out of his grip; he leaves the bedroom, and she magically tears it open. What emerges is a burst of confetti and streamers, along with the sound of a cheering crowd, both of which instantly lift her mood.)
Celestia: A letter from Ponyville, I presume?
Twilight: Never mind. (She makes the envelope vanish.) It’s not important. Spike—where were we?
Spike: About to call it a night?
Twilight: We should probably go over the checklist one more time.
Spike: (grumpily) I knew you were gonna say that. (He whips the very long scroll out from behind his back.)
Celestia: (exiting) I’ll leave you to it.
(As the pair begin to study the list, the camera cuts to the solar princess walking placidly along a corridor elsewhere in the castle. At floor level, the gold-shod hooves pass o.s. and the varicolored tail waves after them—and then a black tendril breaks upward through the tiles. It reels out, thickening as foot after foot emerges into the light, and stretches off in the direction she has gone. The view snaps to black in time with Celestia’s shocked gasp and sharp, short cry of fear.)
(Fade in to a shot of Twilight sleeping at a desk, seen from outside the bedroom window, and zoom in slowly. She gradually works her way back to approximately full consciousness, rubbing her eyes with a front hoof and straightening up. After a moment’s bleary staring ahead, those eyes pop wide open.)
Twilight: Huh?
(Cut to Spike, snoring away and sprawled out in an upscale version of his usual basket, his trusty pencil still gripped in one hand.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) Spike?
Spike: (poking pencil at air, still asleep) Check, check, check, check, check, check… (Zoom out; she now stands alongside.)
Twilight: Spike! (He sits up, stows the pencil, and stretches with a yawn.)
Spike: What time is it?
Twilight: It’s the middle of the night. (glancing toward window) But it could be morning. That’s just it! I can’t tell!
(Cut to their side of the window as they cross to it. The sun and moon are both visible at once, and the sky is split down the middle between the blue of morning and the purple of night.)
Spike: Whoa. That is weird! (Zoom in slowly.)
Twilight: Come on, Spike. We have to find out what’s going on.
(The zoom ends with the camera passing through the glass entirely, and it then tilts down into a city street below. The very large crowd of locals gathered here is very close to a full panic, judging from the murmurs flying in all directions.)
Mare 1: What do you think it means? (Twilight and Spike emerge at ground level.)
Mare 2: (pointing at them) Princess Twilight will know!
(They are immediately beset by a throng of ponies and a torrent of anxious questions.)
Twilight: I’m—I’m sure it’s just…well, there’s certainly a logical ex— (A unicorn guard leans down to her.)
Guard 1: Your Highness, you must come with us.
(He backs off and she follows. Cut to just inside a doorway of Canterlot Castle; once she and Spike have entered, the unicorn guards on duty magically close the doors. One of them is the guard who just spoke.)
Guard 1: It’s Princess Luna and Princess Celestia. (He pauses with a grimace.)
Guard 2: They’re gone!
(Cut to Twilight and Spike and zoom in as they both gasp sharply, then snap to black.)
Act Two
(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of Canterlot on its mountainside under the divided sky. Zoom in slowly.)
Twilight: (voice over) But I don’t understand. Where are they?
(Dissolve to the foursome; the zoom continues. They are in the throne room, gathered near the conspicuously empty seat at its head.)
Guard 1: We don’t know. It seems that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna have simply… (lowering his voice) …vanished.
Spike: Vanished?!? (He topples over in a faint.)
Guard 1: This is why we have come to you. (He and Guard 2 bow.)
Guard 2: We await your command.
Twilight: (greatly unnerved) My command?
Guard 2: We’re officers of the Royal Guard. We take our orders from royalty. (Spike sits up.) With Princess Luna and Princess Celestia gone… (Guards and Spike stand.) …and Princess Cadence overseeing the Crystal Empire now, that means we take our orders from you. (Bow again, dropping o.s.; Spike goes woozy.) Princess Twilight…
(The little dragon measures his height on the red carpet again. Zoom in slowly on the violet winged unicorn, whose eyes dart this way and that as if sizing up her chances to bail out in a hurry.)
Guard 2: (from o.s.) …there’s no time to waste. We need to know what you want us to do.
(A moment’s thought delivers inspiration and a shot of courage, and gives Spike enough time to sit up again. She spreads her wings authoritatively.)
Twilight: I want you to continue the search for Princess Luna and Princess Celestia. (Guards stand up.) We have to find them before ponies start to panic. (folding wings) There must be some clue that can tell us what’s happened to them. (Cut to the stolid guards; she continues o.s.) If you find something, anything, let me know immediately.
(Only after they have saluted and galloped away does she let out the breath she has been holding—and with it goes the stiff upper lip. Spike gets back to vertical.)
Spike: (nudging her) Way to take charge, Twilight. (She smiles at this; now the doors fly open to reveal a third guard.)
Guard 3: Your Highness! (galloping in) News from Ponyville! The Everfree Forest appears to be…well…invading!
(A gasp from Twilight, and this is Spike’s cue to hit the floor for the third time. Wipe to a ground-level close-up of Fluttershy’s hooves, panning to follow them across the floor of her cottage. The view is partly obstructed by the spooked horde of small animals that have gathered inside the structure.)
Fluttershy: Excuse me…oh, oh, pardon me… (She stops before a squirrel and picks it up.) Are you all right?
(It takes cover within her mane; she moves on a bit farther only to find her path blocked by a wall of fur, which turns out to belong to a rather large bear.)
Fluttershy: My goodness! What is it that has caused you all such distress?
(The ursine behemoth growls a bit, covers one eye with a forepaw, and points off to one side with the other. Cut to just inside the cottage’s closed front door.)
Fluttershy: (walking into view toward it; the squirrel has left her mane) Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s nothing you need to really worry about.
(One yellow hoof reaches up for the handle; cut to just outside as she opens the door for a look. The blue-green irises contract to points, and she uncorks a shrill scream of terror. A quick zoom out reveals the reason: the entire area around her dwelling has been overgrown by thick, black, spiky vines that do not look at all friendly. The new foliage writhes a bit to drive the point home, spooking her into slamming the door shut. Inside, she has put her back against it.)
Fluttershy: Oh, no, you were right. You should be worried. Very, very worried!
(Wipe to a ground-level view of a patch of land, where one of these vines is starting to poke through. Granny Smith leans down to catch it in her teeth and pull, but try as she might, the plant will not yield. It eventually snaps back down with enough force to slam her chin into the ground, leaving her dazed for a moment.)
Applejack: (from o.s.) Come on, y’all! Put your backs into it!
(Zoom out quickly on the end of this line to frame a stretch of Sweet Apple Acres, whose crop fields and main barn are being taken over by the encroaching vines. Applejack and Big Macintosh are in fields some distance away from Granny; the orange-tan pony has just as much luck trying to rip up one of the black shoots, while another is ducking to avoid being snapped up by the red one. Elsewhere, Apple Bloom is pulling on one, only to unearth yard after yard without being able to break or uproot it. Macintosh eyes the tendril coming up in front of him.)
Macintosh: Ee-yup. (Bite; it ducks away.) Nope. (Up again.) Ee-yup. (Another miss.) Nope. (Up.) Ee-yup. (Miss; another one pops up behind, smacking his rump and knocking him forward onto his face.) Nope.
(Cut to a long shot of the barn; Applejack’s grunts of effort are heard from o.s., and the camera pans to frame her still struggling with a vine. She lets go after a long few seconds.)
Applejack: Dagnabit! We ain’t never seen this kinda trouble with weeds before. (Bend down; eye one closely.) Now that I think about it, I’ve never seen these kinds of weeds at all! (The other three continue their efforts; Macintosh now upright.) Have y’all?
Macintosh: Nope. (He takes another hit in the rump and almost falls forward again.)
Applejack: Where the heck are these things comin’ from?
(During this line, zoom out to a long shot of the fields, now thick with thorny black growths. As she continues, tilt up into the sky, which is steadily filling with threatening dark gray clouds studded with thorns of their own.)
Applejack: And what in tarnation is goin’ on with the sky?
(One of them drifts past the camera; behind its trailing edge, the view wipes to an overhead shot of the Ponyville town square, also badly overgrown. Rainbow swoops past the town hall.)
Rainbow: Oh, no, you don’t! (Tilt up to follow her rise; she stops and addresses herself o.s.) This is Ponyville territory.
(Longer shot; she is talking to one of the hostile clouds.)
Rainbow: And we aren’t due for rain until after the Summer Sun Celebration. (backing up a bit) You Everfree clouds need to just head on back to where you belong.
(She charges straight at the offending bit of weather, hits it dead on—and ends up mired in the gray-black murk.)
Rainbow: Whoa!
(Just as quickly, she falls free of it, managing to pull up out of her plunge just short of the ground and doubling back for another face-off.)
Rainbow: (menacingly) Gonna make me do this the hard way, huh?
(This time, it responds with a lightning bolt that she barely dodges; zoom out to frame several other clouds nearby. The weather wrangler soon finds herself caught in a high-voltage crossfire.)
Rainbow: Whoa…whoa…hey!
(The glare from one bolt whites out the screen. Fade in to a long shot of the Carousel Boutique, whose surrounding grounds have been thoroughly infested, and zoom in to the sound of Rarity’s humming. The curtains hung inside one window open under her influence to expose her tranquil smile, which turns into a very pensive look once she gazes out.)
Rarity: Hmmm…something strange about the sky.
(She walks off as the black vines slowly curl up past the window, their tips emitting a pale sparkly aura. Zoom in quickly through the glass to stop in the kitchen, where Rarity approaches the table with a teapot and cup in her telekinetic grip. Just after she sets them down, the sparkles flow into her horn, causing its normal glow to give way to theirs. The teapot is levitated toward the cup and tilted to pour, but the liquid never reaches its mark. Instead, it veers crazily past the rim, describes a jagged loop in front of Rarity’s face, and finally shoots past her. The pot sails after it, and she glances warily around the doorframe and into the showroom—just in time to see the pot spill its contents over a hat parked on a pony mannequin’s head. The bright pink material wilts into a sodden mess as the vessel floats away.)
Rarity: (walking in) What in the name of calming chamomile is going on?
(Her cat Opalescence, doing a bit of grooming, gets both her bow and its tuft of hair thoroughly soaked by a jet of tea; zoom out to frame the pot hovering nearby. She jumps clear to avoid the next burst, aimed at her paws, and runs off with a hiss and angry meow as it gives chase. A mannequin gets bowled over as the pursuit ranges around Rarity.)
Rarity: Opalescence, darling, I’m so sorry! I promise I am not doing this on purpose!
(Licking a hoof and touching it to her horn, she is able to extinguish the funky enchantment; the crazed teapot falls to the floor and shatters.)
Rarity: It wasn’t me. I swear!
(Opal growls in her general direction, then stalks off with a feline noise of contempt. Her owner rubs her chin in thought and turns it into sudden indignation.)
Rarity: Ooh, Sweetie Belle! (addressing the room in general) If this is some sort of prank you and your little Crusader friends are pulling, I find very little humor in it!
Sweetie Belle: (from o.s.) Rarity!
(She comes bouncing down the stairs—upside down on her head, horn sheathed in the same sparkly glow that hitched up her sister’s magic.)
Sweetie: You have to help me! (now floating) I think something’s wrong with my horn!
(It fizzles out; she thumps to the floor, but the magic takes control of a nearby drapery and stretches it toward her. The filly sprints away screaming, prompting a gasp from Rarity as her horn flares up anew; now the fabric pulls loose from its frame and floats after Sweetie. She doubles back toward Rarity, who cries out and starts to flee as well, and the drapery settles down to fill the screen. Fade to black.)
(Fade in to a staircase leading to an upper-story entrance of Canterlot Castle. Twilight gallops down, tiara magically in tow and followed by Spike.)
Spike: Where are we going?
Twilight: The Everfree Forest is…invading! (She settles the tiara on her head.) Whatever is going on, I’m sure we’re going to need our friends and the Elements of Harmony to stop it. I just hope we haven’t missed the train.
Spike: (out of breath) Uh…Twilight…there is another way for us to get to Ponyville, remember?
Twilight: There is?
(She skids to a stop on a bridge; he slams into her rump, knocking the sense out of himself. As he topples over the side, she instinctively extends a wing for him to grab so he can stay out of the stream below. He is quickly hoisted back onto the bridge.)
Spike: You can fly!
Twilight: (smiling sheepishly) Oh! Right.
(She flips him onto her back and lifts off very unevenly, almost tossing him away and accompanied by the sound of an engine struggling to turn over.)
Twilight: Whoa!
(After her first few flaps, she gets it in gear and begins to fly more smoothly. Dissolve to another area of sky; one of the dark Everfree clouds zooms across, chased by Rainbow, but the situation quickly reverses itself with three of them coming after her and firing off lightning. Tilt down to the town square, where several screaming ponies bug out ahead of the vegetation’s inexorable advance.)
Rarity: (trotting up, kicking away one vine) Something very strange is going on, and—
(The weird magic that brought the drapery after her has faded out. Her protestations are cut off by a sudden gasp as a massive vine erupts in front of her; she gallops up onto the town hall’s porch.)
Rarity: —I for one would appreciate an explanation! (Rainbow flies down near her.)
Rainbow: (as clouds/vines move in) All I know is the sky’s split in two, and these clouds moving in sure aren’t from around here!
Applejack: (from o.s.) Neither are all these crazy plants!
(Long shot of the square; she is trying to pull one up, while other ponies scramble every which way.)
Applejack: They’re comin’ from the Everfree Forest! (A thick vine unrolls near the camera.) And try as we might, us earth ponies can’t do anythin’ to get rid of ’em!
(On the end of this, Pinkie slides along the black bends and executes a perfect four-point landing.)
Applejack: (to Rarity) Don’t suppose you know any magic that might stop ’em from spreadin’?
Rarity: (horn sputtering) Alas, this whole “raging forest” situation seems to have left my horn on the fritz. (Pan to frame Fluttershy, hovering nearby, on the start of the next line.)
Fluttershy: We have to figure out something. I don’t know how much more of this Ponyville can take.
(One hind leg gets snagged; she pulls up as far as she can with a cry, and Rainbow blasts across to kick the snare apart. The camera tilts up to follow the rise.)
Fluttershy: I don’t know how much more I can take!
Applejack: (now o.s.) The forest is expandin’, y’all. (Cut to these three and Pinkie, who is stomping down one vine.) And judgin’ by how fast it’s movin’… (She pins down another one.) …it doesn’t seem content just takin’ over Ponyville. (All five look worriedly around the area.) I reckon before long, it’ll cover half of Equestria!
(Zoom out slowly past the tangled black brambles to a long shot of the square. A few new coils snake into view, blacking out the screen.)
Act Three
(Opening shot: fade in to Twilight in flight. She sails past one Everfree cloud, then dodges another that nearly causes her to spin out; when she rises back into view, Spike has fallen off her back and is clutching her tail for dear life.)
Twilight: Whoooaaa…
(His cheeks take on a queasy green tint as he regains his seat, but he fights back the urge to lose his lunch and pulls out a seat belt. Looping the ends around her rump and his waist, he buckles himself in place and tightens the slack.)
Spike: (woozily) I’m starting to wish we’d taken the train!
Twilight: Almost there. Come on, Spike. We need to get the Elements of Harmony and find the others.
(She goes into a dive, bearing down on the library.)
Spike: INCOMING!!
(The speed demon’s reckless confidence yields to panic when she realizes that she has no good way to stop in a hurry…)
Twilight: Whooooaaaa!
(…so she teleports away, leaving Spike to follow her original trajectory toward one of the upper-story windows. Cut to inside the reading room, strewn with stacks of books being perused by five diligent friends; she materializes in a screaming violet tumble and rolls o.s., a thud and scatter of literature marking her landing. Spike arrives a moment later, thumping spreadeagle against the window behind Fluttershy, and she drops her book and turns to look just after he slides down out of view. His boss puts her head out of the scrambled books, badly disoriented by the hit she has taken; the seat belt is gone.)
Rarity: Oh, thank goodness!
Fluttershy: Oh, I hope you know we wouldn’t normally go through your books without permission.
(As Twilight shakes her head clear, the front door opens and Spike crawls in.)
Spike: (half-delirious) Sweet ground! (He kisses the floor repeatedly.) Sweet, sweet, wonderful ground!
Twilight: (grumpily) Okay, I get it! (More kisses.) I need to work on my flying! (Pinkie zips over, bumping into Rarity.)
Pinkie: I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the Everfree Forest is just a teeny tiny bit out of control.
(Her tail chooses this moment to twitch madly—the “watch for falling items” warning of her Pinkie Sense—and she hits the deck. A thorny vine punches across the room, missing her but plowing Rarity away; pan quickly to the open window where it has barged in. Applejack stands on a stack of books alongside.)
Applejack: (reaching to sash) Guess it turned out you were missin’ somethin’ here in Ponyville after all.
(With some effort, she gets the window closed and cuts off the length inside the building; a dazed Rarity stands up and shakes some sense into herself.)
Rarity: But perhaps you already know what’s causing all of this calamity. (Rainbow flies over, followed by Fluttershy.) Has Princess Celestia sent you to dispel it post-haste? (Cut to just behind Rarity; zoom in slowly on Twilight and Spike.)
Twilight: (with growing unease) Not exactly. You see, Princess Celestia is…well, she and Princess Luna are both… (Zoom out quickly.)
Spike: They’re missing!
(Two clawed hands clap over his mouth as he realizes that he has spilled way too many of the beans. The outburst earns a five-way gasp from the rest of the audience.)
Twilight: I don’t know who has taken them, but I’ve got a hunch we’re going to need the Elements of Harmony to get them back.
(On the second half of this line, she turns her attention to the glass case by one wall that holds the other five Element necklaces—seen in “Magical Mystery Cure”—and levitates its cover away. Cut to Fluttershy and Rainbow as their necklaces are floated over and clasped on.)
Rainbow: Oh, yeah! Just like old times!
(Rarity gets hers next, smiling fiercely, then Pinkie; Twilight walks over to her pink friend.)
Pinkie: (high-fiving her) Ah, boo-yah!
(Last is Applejack; now the violet Princess steps over to her.)
Applejack: (touching Twilight’s chest) I told you we’d always be connected by the Elements. (Sigh.) Now we just gotta figure out who to aim these bad boys at— (A vine inches up behind her.) —so we can get Celestia and Luna back and keep the rest of Equestria from becoming plant food!
(One orange-tan hoof pins the unwelcome flora to the floor on the end of this.)
Applejack: Any ideas?
Twilight: Hmmm…
Pinkie: (from o.s.) I haven’t found squat in any of the books I’ve been looking through!
(Quick pan to her—hunkered down on the boards with a couple of coloring books and a box of crayons.)
Pinkie: Oopsies! Missed a spot.
(So she grabs a crayon in her teeth and plies it on the offending page. Cut to a window, through which the bizarre sky, weather, and weeds can be seen.)
Twilight: (standing up into view, gazing out) Half day, half night…strange weather patterns…out-of-control plants… (Some of them start to reach toward the group.) …I think I’m starting to get a pretty good idea of who we’re up against.
(Wipe to a pan through a street, following her purposeful trotting, and zoom out to frame all six mares moving by hoof and wing. They gather in an open area that is not too badly choked with vines, and Twilight throws her horn into high gear. The energy spreads to her tiara, a brilliant white glow building around its star jewel and throwing off magenta rays, and the gems in the others’ necklaces ignite as well and lift them clear of the ground. Ribbons of rainbow light lace from one to the next in both directions, finally curling around Twilight and connecting to her tiara before swirling across the screen in a varicolored tornado.)
(The view clears to reveal Discord sitting in a bathtub under a running shower and scrubbing various bits of his crazy-quilt anatomy with a soapy brush.)
Discord: (singing) Winter Wrap Up, Winter Wrap U— (noticing the six) —ooh!
(Throwing the brush away, he conjures up a towel and wraps it around himself with a slightly embarrassed laugh. The shower stops, and he steps out of the tub.)
Discord: Now, Twilight, you know Princess Celestia said that you were to give me a heads-up before you summon me— (tapping her tiara) —with that little spell she gave you. (vanishing tub, drying himself off) In case you haven’t noticed, I was in the middle of a particularly invigorating shower.
(On the end of this, cut to Twilight, who reacts with first disgust and then anger at having a length of snaky brown body thrust into her face.)
Twilight: Enough! (She shoves him away and starts to back him up.) Release Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, and stop the Everfree Forest from invading!
(In a blink, she finds herself thoroughly wrapped up in a heavy black vine whose end stops inches in front of her face. The growth transforms into Discord, looking her straight on from point-blank range.)
Discord: (chuckling innocently) Why, whatever are you talking about? (Here comes Applejack.)
Applejack: Don’t you play dumb with us, Discord! We know you’re the one behind all of this! (He slithers away and reappears at roof level behind a house; the towel is now gone.)
Discord: Don’t get me wrong. (pulling out a camera, taking pictures) I absolutely love what you’ve done with the place. (He sidles up to Fluttershy; camera gone.) But I couldn’t possibly take responsibility. I’m reformed. (nudging her) Don’t you remember?
(Down comes an irate Rainbow to get in his face.)
Rainbow: Yeah, right! This has got your cloven hoofprints all over it!
Discord: (offended) I’ll have you know that I have only one cloven hoof.
(The hind leg to which said hoof is attached hops its way up his body, swings itself in an arc, and connects squarely with the blue flyer’s rump. Limb and draconequus both disappear in a flash, then rematerialize in front of the group; he paces away, the leg back in place.)
Discord: (feigning hurt) Such accusations. And here I thought we were friends. (He gives them the big sad soulful eyes; cut to Pinkie.)
Pinkie: Drop the act, buster! (Zoom in; she squints his way.) We’re on to you.
Discord: (from o.s., putting one lion-paw digit to her mouth) Ladies, ladies! (Cut to him.) I’m innocent! Would I lie to you?
All but Fluttershy: Yes!
Fluttershy: Um, maybe? (Long pause; Discord hovers just off the ground.)
Discord: Well, then, it seems we’ve reached an impasse. I’m telling the truth, but you think I’m lying. (Cut to Twilight; zoom out to frame him leaning down to her.) What do friends like us do in a situation like this… (poking at her tiara) …Princess Twilight? (He throws a forelimb over her shoulders.) Congrats, by the way, on the promotion. You totally deserve it.
(He pinches and stretches her cheeks on “totally” and scratches her nose, working one of her last good nerves. Zoom out to frame Rarity and Rainbow nearby.)
Rainbow: I say we blast him back to stone! (Applejack crosses to them.)
Applejack: Works for me.
Rarity: Hear, hear!
(These three warm up their Elements, ready to crank off a bit of petrifying vengeance, but Fluttershy moves to intercept.)
Fluttershy: Hey! We can’t do that! (Power down.) What if he really is telling the truth?
(Discord stitches on an ear-to-ear grin, a halo appearing above his head to drive the point home. It disappears as he speaks next.)
Discord: Well, finally! Somepony willing to give me the benefit of the doubt. (Cut to him, reaching o.s. with one forelimb.) The rest of you could learn a lot about friendship from my dear friend Shutterfly here.
(On the end of this, he reels in the limb—wrapped around an irked Rainbow. The yellow pegasus flies up on his other side.)
Fluttershy: Um, it’s Fluttershy. (He throws Rainbow aside and puts the other limb around her shoulders.)
Discord: Oh, right, whatever.
Twilight: If you’re not the one responsible, then help us figure out who is!
Discord: I suppose I could— (turning away, crossing forelimbs) —but after all the hoof-pointing and besmirching of my good name— (producing knitting needles, stretching out vine) —I just don’t know if I’m up to it.
(He passes the time by doing a little crocheting; Twilight voices a loud, frustrated groan that just makes her nemesis’ smirk a bit wider in close-up.)
Discord: Why don’t you ask your zebra friend if she knows anything?
(Zoom out on the end of this; he has knitted a large arrow pointing off to his left, and the camera pans in that direction to show Zecora trudging into view. She is hitched to a cart piled high with some of her belongings, and the rest are held in a bindle tied around her neck. Twilight smiles hopefully.)
Twilight: Zecora!
(The six mares gallop over as the zebra drops to her haunches. Fluttershy and Rainbow airlift the bindle away, and Applejack and Pinkie unhitch the cart and roll it back.)
Zecora: From my home I’ve had to flee.
(standing) The forest has grown too wild even for me!
(As she finishes, zoom out to a long shot of the tableau—and the writhing vines that are moving in from the fore. The next cut is to a close-up of Applejack.)
Applejack: Any idea why all this is happenin’? (A vine steals her hat; cut to Twilight and Zecora on the start of the following.)
Zecora: I’m afraid it is a mystery to me as well.
But…
(Zoom out to frame her cart; she crosses to it.)
I may have something that, if combined with a spell…
(A bit of rummaging is followed by a close-up of a bottle being set on the ground. Its contents are a vivid purple. Zoom out slowly.)
Zecora: (from o.s.) I do not dare to use it myself. (now in view) The results would be tragic.
(The mares eye it cautiously; Applejack has her hat back on.)
It only responds to alicorn magic.
(Two purple eyes flick upward to the tiara resting above their owner’s horn, then back to one spreading wing.)
Zecora: Princess Twilight, you can turn the potion from purple to white.
(Tilt down slightly to focus on the bottle as she finishes, then cut back to her.)
Zecora: After a sip, you may see why the sky is day and night.
(On the end of this, zoom out to frame both sun and moon; she gestures to each in turn. The Princess in question drops into a half-crouch with magic boiling around her horn—the same green-rimmed purple aura favored by King Sombra in “The Crystal Empire.” After a long, pained groan of effort, she fires a beam of black energy into the potion and its purple hue fades away as Pinkie leans down for a closer look.)
Pinkie: Ooooh!
(The other four onlooker mares are stunned beyond words at this display, but Twilight just floats the bottle up to head level. Zecora steps over with a nod and nudges its trailing edge up with her nose, positioning it for the mage to take a long swig. Cut to a pan across the five mares and one zebra, trepidation stenciled across every face except the striped one, then back to Twilight as she stops drinking. A lot of nothing proceeds to happen as she licks her lips.)
Twilight: (shrugging) Doesn’t seem to be worki—
(The lack of action comes to a screeching halt; her wings spread to full extension and her eyes blaze white, the potion bottle dropping to the ground. Zoom in quickly until the screen is filled with the ocular brilliance, then out to frame her in a place that is definitely not that Ponyville street. Two side-by-side flights of steps are visible behind her. She shakes her head and eyes clear, realizing that she is nowhere near home base, and the camera zooms out quickly to frame the new surroundings.)
(She is now in a torchlit throne room, and the steps lead up to a pair of thrones, which she is currently facing away from. The end of a banner showing sky and clouds hangs above each—blue on the viewer’s left, yellow on the right, to match the thrones’ colors. They stand on separate daises, connected by a short walkway. In addition, the carpet under Twilight’s hooves depicts a sun nestled within a crescent moon. She looks around herself.)
Twilight: Where am I?
Luna: (emerging from behind blue throne) Not another step!
(Her voice reverberates in the stillness. Zoom in to frame her in close-up, putting Twilight out of view. The Princess of the Night is in a foul mood indeed.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) Princess Luna! (Cut to her, approaching the dais.) I don’t understand. (Sit on haunches.) Where are we? Why did you and Celestia disappear?
Luna: (every word soaked in venom) Did you really expect me to sit idly by while they all basked in your precious light?
Twilight: (puzzled) “Precious light”? (Luna steps onto the walkway.)
Luna: There can only be one Princess in Equestria—and that Princess will be me!
(This last word is accompanied by a blaze of white from her eyes and a rear/stomp that pulverizes most of the walkway’s railing. Tilt up along the wall behind her as a jagged crack races up the masonry and shadows stretch toward the ceiling. The fracture reaches a stained-glass window showing a white tree and shatters it, exposing the sun and a patch of blue sky beyond the wall. The uppermost sections of the two banners can now be seen; the blue one—for Luna—displays planets, stars, and a crescent moon, while the yellow—doubtless for Celestia—shows a multitude of suns.)
(Twilight cringes before the shower of masonry fragments and can only watch, gobsmacked, as Luna rises slowly off the walkway and raises her forelegs. The moon rises into view outside to eclipse the sun, instantly darkening the sky into night. Rays of black radiance flood into the throne room, catching the dark sovereign off guard when they encircle her. The view blacks out completely in the process, then fades in to a close-up of a sphere of whirling, red-rimmed yellow/gray/white energy that slowly backs away from the camera. A fearful Twilight hunches down a little farther into herself as the core of the ball goes yellow…then totally black…then assumes the appearance of an all-too-familiar blue-violet vapor. This explodes outward to both sides, forming the mane and tail of a winged and horned silhouette that now floats against the red remnant of the energy sphere.)
(One eye in the deep blue-black face opens to reveal a blue-green iris and a pupil that contracts to a catlike slit. The edge of a blue helmet is visible around the eye. Next the mouth opens for a scornful laugh, every tooth lengthening and taking on a deadly point, and two armored hooves hit the broken stone of the formerly intact walkway. A wisp of shadow drifts away, exposing the crescent-marked breastplate, and the camera zooms out to frame all of the cackling, exultant Nightmare at last. Cut to Twilight and zoom in as she only stares silently, her wings folding down to her sides as she tries to force her mind to come to grips with the reappearance of the foe who became her first trial by fire.)
(Cut to a “To be continued…” title card and snap to black.)
Continued in Part Two
PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE—PART TWO
Written by Meghan McCarthy
Produced by Sarah Wall, Devon Cody
Story editing by Meghan McCarthy
Supervising direction by Jayson Thiessen
Co-directed by Jim Miller
Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)
Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to a “Previously on My Little Pony” title card, then to black, then to a long shot of Canterlot under the divided day/night sky as seen in Part One, Act Two. Zoom in slowly as the voice of one of the Royal Guard unicorns is heard—from the end of Act One.)
Guard 1: (voice over) It’s Princess Luna and Princess Celestia.
(Cut to Twilight Sparkle and Spike in the reading room of the Ponyville library, addressing the rest of her friends in Act Three. Twilight is wearing her tiara and will continue to do so until further notice.)
Spike: They’re missing!
(Long shot of these latter five mares in the town square, suffering from a severe infestation of spiky black Everfree Forest vines at the end of Act Two. Zoom out.)
Twilight: (voice over) The Everfree Forest is…invading!
(The library again, Act Three; they get kitted out with their Element of Harmony necklaces.)
Twilight: (voice over) I think I’m starting to get a pretty good idea of who we’re up against.
(On the end of this, cut to the rainbow twister they have unleashed, which clears to reveal Discord busily showering off. Next he chums up to Fluttershy.)
Discord: I’m reformed. (nudging her) Don’t you remember?
(Cut to the six mares rushing to the aid of Zecora, whose legs have just given out hauling her possessions out of the forest.)
Discord: (voice over) Why don’t you ask your zebra friend? (Zecora, now standing, addresses Twilight.)
Zecora: You can turn the potion from purple to white.
(As she finishes, tilt down slightly to focus on the potion bottle resting on the ground before her. Cut to the Princess levitating it in front of herself; it has gone white from her spell, and Zecora nudges it into position so she can drink.)
Zecora: (voice over) You may see why the sky is day and night.
(During this line, cut to her as she gestures at the split heavens, then to Twilight. Having taken a slug from the bottle, she snaps her wings wide and lets her eyes burn white. Zoom in quickly until the glare fills the screen, then fade in to an angry Princess Luna standing before her throne in the unfamiliar castle Twilight was transported to.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) Princess Luna! (Who rises into the air near the freshly shattered tree window.)
Luna: (voice over) There can only be one Princess in Equestria!
(As she proclaims this, tilt up to frame the eclipse she has just triggered. The view then cuts to the red/yellow ball of energy that has enveloped her, its core turning black.)
Luna: (voice over) And that Princess will be me!
(The blackness bursts into the blue-violet mist of Nightmare Moon’s mane and tail, exposing her silhouette, and her fully illuminated form laughs madly from the half-destroyed walkway connecting Luna’s throne to that of her sister. Snap to black.)
OPENING THEME
Act One
(Opening shot: fade in to an extreme close-up of Nightmare’s laughing mouth and zoom out to frame her. The cackle gives way to an enraged grimace that spooks Twilight into taking a step back; now the usurper fires a beam from her horn, tearing a gash through the ceiling. Twilight finds herself caught in a rapidly growing shadow and dives for cover just before a freshly cut hunk of masonry crashes down on the carpet. Skidding to a stop on her belly, she finds herself looking up at the approach of Princess Celestia, whose eyes are turned down in muted regret. The white ruler lifts them slightly as Nightmare steps imperiously forward through the clearing dust.)
(Celestia takes to the air and dodges a shot from her twisted sister; it carves a fresh hole in the ceiling to expose the full moon above. The flying Princess touches down as Twilight, now upright, skids over next to her.)
Twilight: Luna! Think of how long you were banished to the moon! You’ll give us no choice but to send you back there if you don’t stop! (Close-up of her, panning to frame Celestia some steps back.)
Celestia: Luna! I will not fight you! You must lower the moon! It is your duty! (Cut to Nightmare.)
Nightmare: Luna? I am… (Zoom in to a close-up.) …Nightmare Moon!
(Hearing those two words again, straight from the horse’s mouth, throws a scare into Twilight.)
Nightmare: I have but one royal duty now… (She lifts off, horn powering up.) …to destroy you!
(Here comes the next blast; thanks to Celestia’s leap, it takes out only a patch of floor instead of everything from her knees/hocks down. She bolts out through the ceiling hole.)
Nightmare: And where do you think you’re going?
(She gives chase, followed by Twilight. The pursuit ranges into the sky high above the castle, and Nightmare sends one blast after another toward her sister as Twilight gapes in horror. The fusillade does a number on the architecture in the bargain. As the high-speed pursuit skims the ground through a courtyard, Nightmare fires off one more shot and finally hits home, scoring a bullseye on Celestia’s chest. The stricken pony screams in agony and plunges out of the air, falling through the ceiling hole into the throne room.)
Twilight: CELESTIA!!
(She dives after her mentor, with Nightmare paying no mind and voicing a long, triumphant laugh. Zoom out to frame her backlit by the moon, then cut to the fallen Princess as Twilight descends to land alongside her. For the first time, Celestia’s mane/tail are perfectly still, rather than seeming to shift in an intangible breeze. Purple eyes well with tears as they take in the impossible development sprawled on the floor before them.)
Twilight: No…why would Luna do this? Why now?
(She sobs quietly over the prone equine, but grief turns to confusion as the latter slowly stands up to her full height and the four-colored hair begins to do its thing. Finally Twilight backs up a step, letting a relieved smile come over her face.)
Twilight: You’re all right. (And plenty angry, too.) You’re all right!
(But Celestia does not acknowledge this expression of joy in any way—nor has she taken any notice of Twilight throughout this entire sequence.)
Twilight: Princess Celestia?
Celestia: Oh, dear sister. I am sorry, but you have given me no choice but to use these.
(On the end of this, she lights her horn and channels magic into a patch of floor; cut to a close-up of it on “these.” It rises slightly and splits into two halves that slide apart, revealing a hatch from which a contraption of five small platforms rises. They are mounted on radial shafts that revolve independently around a central pedestal, which is attached to a turntable on a pillar. Resting atop this pedestal is a large stone sphere. It is the same arrangement that Twilight and company found in the ruined castle during “Elements of Harmony,” but without ten centuries’ worth of disrepair. Each of the five small platforms holds a gem of a different color.)
Twilight: Are those…the Elements of Harmony? (puzzled) But that’s how they looked in…
(Now she puts it all together and realizes that she is in the middle of a thousand-year-old playback. The location can only be that old castle, whose ruins hosted her climactic battle against Nightmare sixty-five episodes ago.)
Twilight: …the past. (Celestia flies up toward the central sphere.) This is the night you banished her.
(The solar sovereign’s magic envelops each of the five gems, lifting them away, then touches the sphere to cause a sixth to emerge—a duplicate of the pink six-pointed star in Twilight’s tiara. Celestia regards it gravely for a moment, then sets all six Elements whirling around her in a circle. Faster and faster they spin, eventually throwing off a blinding multicolored corona and merging into a single ribbon of rainbow light. Twilight shades her eyes at first, but soon risks a glance and sees the grim resolution broadcast by a Princess who knows what must be done, unpleasant though it will surely be.)
(Celestia gains enough altitude to look Nightmare straight on. The younger sister conjures up a magical wave and holds it in check; the older—tears streaming from her eyes as she squeezes them shut—creates a field bright enough to turn the sky around her golden. As Nightmare unleashes power from her horn, Celestia focuses on the six Elements now floating in front of her—five gems at the periphery, the star Element of Magic at their center and placed slightly ahead. The other five pour energy into this one, causing a broad rainbow to pour forth from it.)
(The two sisters’ attacks meet at a point between them and cancel out, but it does not take Celestia long to begin overpowering Nightmare’s offensive. With the rainbow almost touching her horn, the slitted pupil of one blue-green eye narrows in shocked realization—and then the golden aura is upon her, leaving her visible only as a rapidly disintegrating silhouette.)
Nightmare: NOOOOOOO!!
(The screen goes completely white from the glare, and the view then snaps to a long overhead shot of the battleground. Pan to follow Celestia’s beam toward the moon; when it hits, a multicolored shock wave emanates through the heavens, similar to that from Rainbow Dash’s Sonic Rainboom. A pattern of dark spots emerges on the lunar surface, forming the unicorn-head pattern that will come to be known as the Mare in the Moon.)
(The view fades to white, and the camera zooms out to frame it as one of Twilight’s glowing eyes—she is back in Ponyville. She closes them, opens them to find one still lit, and gets it to behave itself with a quick rub. Looking around herself, she finds five mares, one dragon, and one zebra who are all too stunned for words.)
Twilight: Why are you all looking at me like that? (Long pause before Applejack speaks up.)
Applejack: It’s just…you were mumblin’ to yourself.
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! And don’t forget the uncontrollable sobbing.
Fluttershy: We were really worried about you. (A poof from o.s.)
Discord: (from o.s.) I for one found it delightful.
(On the end of this, cut to the trickster lounging on a thorny vine and grinning like an idiot.)
Discord: Sort of a one-pony theater piece, if you will. (reaching toward Twilight with a poster and unrolling it) You should really consider taking it on the road.
(The sheet depicts a video clip of the Princess crying her eyes out, accompanied by the sound of a bawling infant.)
Rainbow: (hovering, kicking at air) Did you find out whose rump we need to kick and where we can find ’em?
Twilight: (softly) I saw something from a long time ago, but it didn’t explain what’s happening now. (Zecora crosses to her, along with Spike.)
Zecora: Perhaps farther back still are the answers you seek.
(Close-up of the potion bottle being held forward in her hoof; she continues o.s.)
Another sip of the potion will give you a peek.
(It is floated out of her grip and up to the unsettled violet mare and equally nervous dragon.)
Spike: You sure about this?
(She looks to it, then across the way to the four friends with their hooves on the ground, all of whom recoil a bit at the thought of what she—or they—might see next. Up goes the bottle, and down the hatch goes another swallow of the white stuff; she lets her tongue hang out at the taste, and suddenly Discord appears on the scene with a movie camera on a tripod. He is dressed as a director with incredibly bad fashion sense: half-green/half-purple jacket, white pants, red ascot with white polka dots, beret, pencil-thin mustache.)
Discord: (laughing, starting camera/looking through eyepiece) Oh, I do hope she breaks into a song this time!
(The potion lights Twilight’s eyes; zoom in until their whiteness fills the screen, then out to show her against a blurry crazy-quilt landscape studded with floating buildings under a loopy magenta sky. Schools of fish swim past her in midair, and as she looks off after them, the scene comes fully into focus. Hauling loaded saddlebags, Celestia and Luna advance resolutely across the blue checkerboard terrain toward the chaos master, who sits on a throne atop a nearby pink-checked hill with his back to them. The buildings are thatched-roof stone huts. They stop to glare at the back of Discord’s head; this shot is close enough to pick out the scuffs and scrapes on their coats, suggesting that they have had a rough time getting to this point. Discord swivels his throne to face them, revealing it to be the same horned one he sat on in Part Two of “The Return of Harmony,” and laughs heartily. By this point, the camera has zoomed in to a close-up of him.)
Discord: This is so much fun! (holding up Celestia’s tail) How about a game of Pin the Tail on the Pony?
(Back to the royal sisters. The elder has in fact had her tail filched, but she does not notice it until Luna glances toward her rump and she takes the hint. She draws her wings in with a surprised gasp, and both of them move closer.)
Celestia: Playtime is over for you, Discord!
(Back to him, now messily scattering seeds from a bag.)
Discord: Oh, I doubt that. (He chomps one, shudders happily, and offers them.) Hungry?
(One bounces off each regal forehead, improving their moods not a fraction. Celestia has her tail back in place.)
Discord: Suit yourselves.
(More eating and scattering. Now Celestia magically opens one of her saddlebags and levitates out three of the Elements, including Magic; Luna produces the other three from her own gear. The sight of the six gems causes Discord to toss his bag of seeds aside in mild surprise.)
Discord: Ohhhh! (rubbing chin) What have you got there? (The Elements circle the pair…)
Celestia: The Elements of Harmony. (…and generate a pink force field.)
Luna: With them, we shall defeat you!
Twilight: (to herself) This must be when they turned Discord into stone.
(The walking zoological contradiction just laughs himself stupid and comes within an inch of falling sideways over the arms of his throne. It takes him a moment to sit up again.)
Discord: You should see yourselves right now! (Cut to the pair; he continues o.s.) The expressions on your face—so intense, so sure of yourselves!
(His mocking laughter drifts across as their glowing horns touch, kindling a spark at their tips and projecting a rainbow spiral skyward. This straightens out into a long, graceful arc that bears down on the still-gleeful draconequus.)
Discord: Hilarious!
(And he keeps right on laughing up until the moment the spectrum washes over his form and turns every inch of it to stone, freezing him in the position he will hold until breaking loose in “The Return of Harmony.” Fade to white and zoom out to frame Twilight in a different, darker place; an eye-closing and hard head shake bring her fully back to her senses. Looking ahead of herself with a gasp, she sees a tree whose blue-glowing trunk and branches appear to have been roughly hewn from chunks and sheets of crystal. Bunches of pale, luminous fruit hang from every branch, five of which are set with the peripheral Element gems. Embedded in the trunk are three symbols—bottom to top: a crescent moon, a sun, and the six-pointed star for the Element of Magic. The overall contour of this tree is very similar to the one on the stained-glass window that shattered during Luna’s transformation at the end of Part One. It stands in a cavern whose walls are studded with gems, and Celestia and Luna approach it slowly, their steps echoing ever so slightly in the stillness. Luna utters a soft gasp as Twilight slips up behind them.)
Luna: (shakily) The Tree of Harmony. (Twilight pushes up even with them.)
Twilight: The Tree of Harmony?
(Cut to a close-up of the moon on the trunk, tilting up to the sun, then zoom out slightly to frame all of the star as the camera tilts up to it as well.)
Twilight: (stunned) My cutie mark.
(Celestia wings her way gently up to this last and shoots a spell into it; the Tree responds by emitting a brilliant white glow, and she glances behind herself. Cut to Luna.)
Luna: Are you sure? (She lifts off; cut to the pair as Celestia continues.)
Celestia: We have managed to discover the only means by which we can defeat Discord and free the citizens of Equestria.
(Cut to one branch gem, then another, her magic easing them away.)
Celestia: (from o.s.) Even without these Elements, the Tree of Harmony will possess a powerful magic.
(The facets on the star slide apart to reveal its pink jewel counterpart within, and she floats it out to join the five, now all removed and floating in a circle above the sisters.)
Celestia: As long as that magic remains… (The Elements descend toward them.) …it will continue to control and contain all that grows here.
(Twilight has observed these events from the ground; now her eyes go white and the camera zooms in, then out to put her back in the present time. A head shake clears her mind, and Spike is first to speak up.)
Spike: So what’d you find out?
Twilight: I still don’t know what’s happened to Princess Luna and Princess Celestia.
(Cut to the other four-legged onlookers; as she speaks, the view shifts to Discord—now out of his movie-director garb, sitting in a floating recliner, wearing red/blue 3-D glasses, and munching popcorn from a bag. A soda rests on one arm of the chair.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) But I think I know why the Everfree Forest is acting this way.
(The goofball lowers his glasses to peek over them, suddenly interested; back to Twilight and Spike.)
Twilight: Something’s happened to the Tree of Harmony. (A round of confused looks among the others.)
Rainbow: The Tree of what, now? (Cut to Twilight.)
Twilight: It’s where Princess Celestia and Princess Luna found the Elements. I think it’s in danger. (Zoom out slightly; Applejack walks over.)
Applejack: Well, all right, then! Let’s go save a… (losing steam, trying to recover) …tree. Uh…where is it exactly?
Twilight: (pointing ahead) I think it’s in…
(Pan quickly ahead to the treacherously overgrown entrance to the Everfree Forest.)
Twilight: (from o.s., small voice) …there!
(Not one member of the crew is wild about the thought of having to venture into that mess. Fluttershy lets off a barely audible cry of fear; Discord, on the other hand, voices a giddy little laugh.)
Discord: (to camera; zoom in) I’m going to need more popcorn!
(He holds up the now-empty bag on the end of this, and the view snaps to black.)
Act Two
(Opening shot: fade in to the forest entrance, the thorny vines creaking ominously as they twine a little tighter around the trees. Pan back to the intrepid septet on the approach, then cut to just behind the hovering Rainbow and zoom out to frame them all. They have stopped just short of the wild flora.)
Rarity: Seems like only yesterday we were heading into these woods to find the Elements of Harmony.
Twilight: (stepping ahead) Seems like only yesterday I was foolish enough to think I should go after them on my own. I don’t know what we’re going to face in there. (The others have fallen in behind her; she smiles with newfound courage.) But whatever it is, I know we need to face it together.
(Assorted noises of assent from the rest of the gang. Dissolve to an expanse of noxiously bubbling green swamp and zoom out slightly to frame them moving toward its edge. An irregular line of small rocks breaks the surface; pan to frame Twilight eyeing them.)
Twilight: We can use those to cross.
(She leaps toward them; close-up of the first few as her hooves make contact, causing them to sink slightly into the unwholesome water. She yelps and cries out in surprise, and the camera zooms out as she trots hesitantly in place for a moment. The entire line of stepping stones rises out of the muck; they are in fact ridges on the tail of a long reptilian creature covered with rocky brown hide. Its overall body shape is very similar to a crocodile, and it is plenty angry at finding its tail being used as a pedestrian walkway. Twilight cries out and is flung back the way she came, her accompanying scream fading out over the distance and quickly replaced by its roar, and she lands on her back in front of the others. Rarity voices a shuddery cry of terror; cut to a head-on shot of the approaching beast.)
Rarity: (from o.s.) A cragodile! (The group again; they bug out in all directions.) Run for your liiiiiives!
(It advances slowly over the land, the grating of stone on stone making itself heard to mark the movements of its body. Twilight and Spike find themselves backed up against a tree trunk with nowhere to go; she tries desperately to fly away, but gets nothing but a few haphazard wing flaps for the attempt and thuds back to the earth. Here comes the cragodile with a feral roar—but before it can close those immense jaws on her head, it is suddenly jerked backwards. When mare and dragon get their wits back and look ahead, they find a black vine wrapped around the tail and pulled taut. Assorted grunts of effort are heard from o.s.; pan back along the vine to the source—the rest of the girls, hauling in for all they are worth. Fluttershy pulls with her front hooves, while the others have sunk their teeth in.)
(Applejack lets go, coming up with a fresh length knotted into a lasso, and lets fly. It is joined by a second airborne loop that snares the cragodile’s jaws and cinches them shut. Here comes a fresh length, which wraps itself around a tree under Twilight’s control; an instant later the thing is being securely roped down—all four legs, tail, snout. The six mares eye it with great trepidation.)
Twilight: That was close.
Applejack: (slightly out of breath) A little too close, if you ask me. You sure you’re all right?
Twilight: (crossing to her) I’m fine. (spreading/folding wings) I just can’t seem to get these new wings to do what I want them to do, when I want them to do it.
Rainbow: Aw, you’ll figure it out eventually.
Twilight: (walking past her) “Eventually” isn’t soon enough. (Others follow.)
Applejack: You have been havin’ an awful lot of trouble with those things. And…well…who knows what else is gonna come after us? You know… (Cut to all but Twilight; they stop.) …maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea for Twilight to go back to Ponyville and let us look for the Tree of Harmony without her. (Twilight, also stopped, glares at her.)
Twilight: What? Why?
Applejack: For starters, you just about got eaten by a crago-dilly.
Twilight: We all did. He wasn’t after just me!
Applejack: Sure, but…well…the rest of us aren’t princesses.
Twilight: What’s that got to do with anything?
Applejack: Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are gone. (Cut to just behind her, touching Twilight’s chest.) If something happened to you, I—I just don’t think Equestria can risk losin’ another princess. (Cut to frame the entire group on the start of the following.)
Rarity: Applejack does make a valid point. Even if we manage to save the Tree of Harmony, it won’t necessarily mswoopsean Princess Celestia and Princess Luna will return. (crossing to Twilight) Equestria will need somepony to lead in their absence.
Twilight: But the Tree of Harmony! I’m the only one who has seen it and knows what it looks like! (Rainbow swoops over.)
Rainbow: Huge tree, cutie marks on the trunk, probably being attacked by something hideously awful? (smiling smugly) Yeah, I’m pretty sure we’ll know it when we see it.
(The left-handed reassurance deflates Twilight’s spirits considerably, and tears gather in the purple eyes.)
Twilight: All of you feel this way? (Cut to a slow pan across the downcast others; she continues o.s.) Feel like I shouldn’t be here?
Fluttershy: It is probably for the best.
(The tears spill over as the Princess walks away; Spike hurries after her, while the other five carry on in the other direction. Dissolve to a close-up of Discord’s taloned forelimb, whose claws he is filing down by using the back of Pinkie’s alligator Gummy as an emery board. He has disposed of the recliner, snacks, and 3-D glasses he used at the end of Act One. His humming drifts down over the unorthodox manicure, which is going on with no visible source of Gummy’s back-and-forth movement. Zoom out to frame all of him, relaxing on a curl of vine; panicked cries for help are heard from o.s., and he looks back toward the source as the camera pans to it. Two ponies, one of whom is Cherry Berry, have been snagged in the crazed overgrowth and are suspended in midair. Here come Twilight and her number-one assistant.)
Twilight: (irately) Discord!
(Realizing that he has been caught in the act, the joker vanishes Gummy and snaps his lion paw to wipe out the vine. The two caught-up ponies hit the ground in very short order and clear out.)
Discord: (calling after them, sarcastically) You’re welcome! (Dry chuckle; he turns to face Twilight, floating in midair.) No luck finding your Tree?
(She and Spike start down the street and he whirls around to drift after them.)
Twilight: We ran into some trouble. (Stop; sit on haunches; he floats down.) And my friends decided it would be best if I return to Ponyville while they continue the search. Equestria will need me if Princess Celestia and Princess Luna don’t return. (Discord stands up.)
Discord: I’m just surprised that you agreed to their plan. I never thought you’d be the kind of pony who would think she was better than everypony else.
(He shifts into a subtly needling tone on the end of this, glancing sidelong in her direction. It has the intended effect.)
Twilight: I don’t think I’m better than anypony! (He leans down over her.)
Discord: Oh, well, how silly of me to assume that you would think that.
(He conjures a royal purple robe, trimmed in purple-spotted white fur, onto her back.)
Discord: All you did was choose to keep your precious Princess self out of harm’s way while your friends thrust themselves right into it.
(Accompanied by the following actions. Create a gold scepter in her grip, topped with a red gem at one end and a sculpture of her own head at the other; make air quotes on “Princess self”; gesture toward the forest and the thorny tangles framing it now. The new finery does not please Twilight a bit, and she promptly throws both items aside in close-up. Zoom in slowly.)
Discord: (from o.s.) I’m sure you’ll all be the best of pals again— (He reappears, greatly shrunken, protruding from one ear, and hams it up.) —when they return from their terrifying yet deeply bonding experience that they’re having without you.
(On the latter part of the previous, he retreats into her head and peeks out from the other ear. Following his nasty little chuckle, Twilight mulls it over, then looks daggers at him and gallops away, causing him to pop loose. Spike hustles after her.)
Twilight: I never should have agreed to come back here!
Spike: Come on, Twilight. Discord may be reformed, but he’s not that reformed. He’s just trying to get under your skin.
Twilight: Well, it’s working!
(One magical heave deposits the dragon on her back, and the race toward the forest primeval is on. A full-sized Discord poofs into view to watch them go and wave goodbye. Wipe to the other five, now proceeding through a dimly lit tract of wild woodland.)
Rainbow: Anypony else starting to think this is a lost cause? We’re almost at Celestia and Luna’s old castle. Maybe whatever Twilight saw when she took that crazy potion wasn’t real. Maybe there is no Tree of Harmony. Maybe— (Stop; Applejack points ahead.)
Applejack: Maybe it’s right down there!
(Long shot. They have reached the edge of a deep ravine; Rainbow gasps softly.)
Rainbow: It can’t be!
(Cut to their perspective of the depths. The old ruined castle stands on the opposite side, and masses of vines stretch along the length of the gulf toward a glow issuing from a cavern mouth in one of the walls. Zoom in on this, then cut back to all but Pinkie.)
Rarity: How are we supposed to get to it?
Pinkie: (from o.s.) Whoa!
(Followed by a string of thumps and yelps. The others look toward the noise, and the camera cuts to a very long shot of them—and the steep flight of stairs leading down to the floor of the ravine. The pink wacko is busy tumbling down them and does not speak until she reaches the bottom.)
Pinkie: Take the stairs, silly!
(Dissolve to Twilight and Spike, now making their way through the forest as well.)
Spike: Are we there yet?
Twilight: I don’t know where we are! (Stop.) We’re lost! (Sit on haunches; zoom out slightly.) I never should have left my friends. (He hops off her back…)
Spike: We can’t just give up. (…and spots a vine-wrapped tree.) Maybe if I get up there, I’ll be able to spot ’em.
(Cut to a high branch and pan to follow him as he scurries toward its end. Through a gap in the leaves, the castle is visible in the blurry distance; he pushes the foliage aside, the scene coming fully into focus. Now he can also see the ravine and the rest of the gang, with Applejack starting down the stairs and Rainbow descending with her wings.)
Spike: Well, what do you know. (He backs off to call down to her.) Twilight?
(What he finds on this side is a good bit less disheartening: Twilight hemmed in by four black flowers on long flexible stems that take turns ejecting bursts of vapor over her. She coughs as the stuff hits her lungs, and he sucks in a wide-eyed gasp. Wipe to a long shot of the Tree in its cavern and tilt up slightly to frame the devastation that the unwanted plant growth has wrought in this area. Vines snake every which way across the ground and over the Tree, and the otherworldly glow of its bark and fruit is gone, replaced by diseased grays and blacks.)
Fluttershy: (from o.s., gasping in shock) I think it’s dying! (Cut to the five, now at the mouth of the cavern.)
Applejack: (leaping ahead) So let’s save it already!
(She grabs a tendril in teeth and pulls, but it just whips her off so that she tumbles down on the rock flat.)
Rainbow: Nice try.
(Up she goes, angling one hind leg for a flying kick; a vine slaps her out of the air.)
Rainbow: Whoooaaa…
(One graceless touchdown and bounce/skid on her back later, and the camera pans to Fluttershy and Rarity with the still-dazed Applejack.)
Rarity: Valiant efforts on both your parts, but the Tree remains in jeopardy.
Applejack: And I suppose you’ve got a better idea?
(The fashion-conscious unicorn mentally chews it over and grimaces ever so slightly. Fluttershy helps Applejack stand.)
Applejack: That’s what I thought. (Close-up of Fluttershy.)
Fluttershy: I know who would know what to do! (dejectedly) But we sent her home.
(Zoom out slightly and pan across the group, heads dropping and faces falling as the full meaning of her words sinks in. Rainbow is back on on her hooves. Fade to black.)
Act Three
(Opening shot: fade in to the sun and moon in the split sky and tilt down into the ravine. Applejack faces down the hovering Rainbow as the other three Element bearers watch. Zoom in slightly.)
Rainbow: It was your idea, Applejack! (She lands on this last word; Applejack gets in her face.)
Applejack: We all agreed it was the best thing, Rainbow Dash! We were tryin’ to protect her!
(The confrontation is interrupted by a loud grunt from the o.s. Spike; cut to him, tumbling to the bottom of the stairs. One badly scuffed baby dragon rolls to a stop on his belly, and five pairs of equine eyes pop in surprise at his arrival. Their owners gallop over, Applejack hunkering down to cradle him.)
Spike: Twilight! Trouble! HELP!
(He passes out; the apple farmer glances worriedly up from the limp form in her hooves. Snap to black and tilt up to bring Twilight into view—now at the mercy of five vapor-spitting flowers rather than four as before. She is stretched out insensate on the forest floor, and the malevolent blooms are slowly closing in, their petals extended like grasping pincers. One of them fires a fresh burst into her face; another one hisses and prepares to dive on her, but a vine lasso cinches it shut and drags it to the ground. Another yank on the line ties it into a compact ball; tilt up slightly to frame the other end in Applejack’s teeth. Her hat is tilted down over her eyes, but it flips back to its normal position as she spits the vine away.)
Applejack: Listen here, you rabid rhododendrons! You mess with one of us…
(Zoom out; the other four non-Princesses are with her, ready to throw down. Pinkie has a party favor in her teeth.)
Applejack: …you mess with all of us!
(The favor gets a hearty blow, but two of the black flowers take it as an insult and spit their vapor at the group. Rainbow rises a bit higher behind the gang.)
Rainbow: Up here!
(She charges in, the flowers’ next shots hitting nothing, and buzzes past close enough to set them whirling and tangling into each other. Down they go; now Pinkie hops past, another one close behind. She has disposed of the party favor.)
Pinkie: Yoo-hoo! Come and get me! (Rarity does likewise.)
Rarity: (singsong) Don’t forget about me!
(Even Fluttershy gets in on the action, flying a tight turn around a tree so that the flower chasing her ends up looped around its trunk. Applejack slides across, going over/under/over the stems in her way as this one shifts its attention to her. When she comes to a stop, the flower strains to get at her but cannot due to all the tangles in its stem; it snaps backward, winding up in a pile with all the others. Pinkie pops up out of nowhere, throwing a hoof-load of confetti and streamers.)
Pinkie: Ta-da!
(The sound of a cheering crowd is heard under her words, but of more importance is the flower rearing up behind her—which she does not notice. She does, however, give consideration to the beam of magic lancing into view and ducks so that it wipes out the flower instead of her. Two disbelieving blue eyes look back the way it came; cut to a dazed Twilight half-sprawled on her belly. Spike is at her side in an instant to help her up, having put himself back in order from his earlier tumble down the stairs, and the rest of the group soon clusters around as well.)
Applejack: I sure am glad you came lookin’ for us.
Twilight: Not as glad as I am that you found me.
Rarity: The truth of it is, Twilight, we’re simply lost without you.
Rainbow: Yeah. Equestria may need its princess…
Fluttershy: (touching Twilight’s shoulder) …but we need our friend.
(A seven-way group hug ensues. Dissolve to a long shot of the afflicted Tree, then cut to the group in the cavern. Twilight steps forward, regarding the impenetrable knots of vines that have encased it, and flies up for a closer look. As she eyes the large six-pointed star on the trunk, a vine whips out to snare both forelegs; a gasp, and she begins to pull against their grip, finally cutting herself free with a spell. Within seconds, the vines have extended to block another approach at the star.)
Celestia: (Twilight’s memory) Even without these Elements— (Close-up of the spot from which one Element was removed.) —the Tree of Harmony will possess a powerful magic. (Twilight eyes the Tree again; zoom in slowly.) As long as that magic remains, it will continue to control and contain all that grows here.
(Glancing up at her tiara, Twilight lets her features rearrange themselves into a look of grim determination and flies down to her friends.)
Twilight: I know how we can save the Tree. We have to give it the Elements of Harmony. (Shocked silence from the others.)
Rainbow: Whoa, whoa, whoa. (Chuckle; she lands in front of them to face Twilight.) How are we supposed to protect Equestria? (Rarity steps up next.)
Rarity: How are we meant to rein Discord in if we can’t use the Elements to turn him back to stone? (Applejack is next.)
Applejack: Twilight…the Elements of Harmony. (Closse-up of her chest; she touches her necklace. Tilt up to her face.) They’re what keep us connected, no matter what.
Twilight: You’re right about one thing, Applejack. The Elements of Harmony did bring us together. (smiling) But it isn’t the Elements that will keep us connected.
(Cut to a slow pan across the line, starting at Pinkie and ending at Spike. Understanding smiles steal across every face.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) It’s our friendship, and it’s more important and more powerful than any magic. (Back to Twilight and Applejack.) My new role in Equestria may mean I have to take on new responsibilities— (touching Applejack’s shoulder) —and our friendships may be tested.
(The rest of the group again, now stepping a bit closer.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) But it will never, ever be broken. (Back to her and Applejack.) There’s no time to lose. (Brace for liftoff.) Everypony ready?
(Up she goes; the blond mare backs up to join the rest of the crew.)
All mares but Twilight, Spike: Ready!
(The hovering Princess puts her horn in gear and floats the apple jewel free of its setting in Applejack’s necklace. The other four come loose as well and drift upward under Twilight’s control; all five end up circling around her, and she adds the one from her tiara last. Just as when Celestia used them against Nightmare a thousand years ago, they whirl around her form so rapidly that they are lost in a band of rainbow light.)
(Several of the strangling vines lash out and wrap around her midsection, prompting a round of gasps from below and stopping the Elements in mid-spin. Twilight, straining against them, can only watch as one shoot curls around Magic—that is, until she kicks her horn into overdrive and wrenches the gem loose. All six of them float down toward the tree; in close-up, Kindness, Laughter, and Loyalty nestle themselves into the depressions on the branch-ends from which Celestia retrieved the original Elements. There is a brief glimmer of white light around each gem as it settles in.)
(The vines wrapping Twilight work their way up to cover all of her, including her still-glowing horn, and the five mares’ jaws drop open in shock while Spike grimaces mightily. The star on the trunk opens, revealing the same compartment from which Magic first emerged, and the gem floats into place. When the star’s facets close, they do not cover it over, but instead seal themselves around it so that the gem ends up embedded in the trunk. It too glows white, the others responding in kind as the bark seals to them as well, and the camera zooms out as a sudden flash of brilliance radiates out from the Tree to white out the screen and tear the intruding vines to pieces.)
(The zoom stops on a long shot of the entire Tree, now blazing white, and rainbow-tinted pulses race along the ground to burn away the remaining tendrils. A similarly colored wave washes through the entire forest, purging it, and more pulses obliterate the vines that have invaded Ponyville proper. One of them is being used as a lounge chair by Discord, who has donned a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses and is sipping a drink from a coconut shell. He does not notice anything amiss until the vine beneath him has burned away, dumping him to the ground.)
Discord: Oh, poo!
(In the cavern, enough of the glare fades away to expose the fully healed Tree, fruit and all—but two piles of vines still remain, one on either side. Flying back to her friends, Twilight lands in their midst and squints ahead; in due time, these last masses of plant debris are consumed by rainbow light from the top down. Luna’s figure appears within one, Celestia’s in the other, and seven faces light up at the sight. Now fully free, the two royals cross the cavern floor as the Tree’s glow fades back to normal. Twilight gallops over and into a warm hug from both.)
Celestia: We know how difficult it must have been for you to give up the Elements. It took great courage to relinquish them.
(Smiles all around, the biggest being that of the violet winged unicorn. It turns into a look of sudden concern as a spark of light dances across her pupils—a reflection from the o.s. Tree. Looking up, she sees it begin to glow again and breaks the hug to move a bit closer. Ribbons of colored light snake along five branches, working inward from the Elements embedded in them, and come together at the exposed Magic. A sixth, varicolored light thread courses down from this, touching first the sun and moon marked on the trunk; each lights up in turn, and the light continues down along one root to end in a brief flare of white.)
(From this spot emerges a magenta flower, its petals tightly folded together. It grows to reach the level of Twilight’s head; she extends a hoof to brush the bloom ever so gently, and it opens in a multicolored aurora that forces her to avert her gaze. Resting within is a blue box shaped to resemble a large jewel or crystal; top and bottom halves each have six lateral faces, whose edges come together in hexagonal top and bottom panels. The three lateral faces on the top half that are visible from this angle are each set with a keyhole. Zoom out slightly as Celestia and Luna step up to look it over along with Twilight.)
Twilight: What’s inside it? How am I supposed to open it?
(Overhead view of the box, rotating slowly. Now all six top lateral faces can be seen to have keyholes.)
Luna: (from o.s.) Six locks…six keys.
(Cut to her and Twilight; they glance toward Celestia, and the camera cuts to her.)
Celestia: I do not know where they are. (smiling, stepping away to frame the others) But I do know that it is a mystery you will not be solving alone.
(Her sister walks away, leaving Twilight to smile placidly at these words. Dissolve to the forest entrance, now back to its normal semi-wild self. The seven travelers emerge into the bordering grassland, no longer wearing the stripped necklaces and tiara, and are greatly surprised to see banners drop down and signs pop up from nowhere. The former are marked with “#1” and pictures of the mares’ faces, and the signs show “#1,” one showing an arrow that points to them; confetti, party horns, and cheers accompany these. Discord winks into existence, a giant “#1”foam finger on his lion paw and a pennant striped with the group’s coat colors in his taloned grip. He has done away with the Hawaiian shirt and shades from his previous appearance.)
Discord: Bravo, ladies, bravo! (He leans over to Rainbow.) However did you save the day this time? (dropping gear, waving fingers) Blast the beastie with your magic necklaces, I presume?
(An instant later, he appears on Applejack’s back, miniature-sized and dressed as a cowboy.)
Discord: (peeking under her mane) Where are those little trinkets of yours? You know, the ones you used to send me back to my extremely uncomfortable stone prison.
Applejack: (sighing) Gone.
(A flash, and he is back to his normal dimensions and out of the duds.)
Discord: (gleefully) Gone? (thoughtfully, twiddling paw/talons) Gone? (Fluttershy flies over to him.)
Fluttershy: But our friendship remains. (glaring at him) And if you want to remain friends, you’ll stop thinking whatever it is you’re thinking and help us clean up.
(He shrinks down on the latter part of this, having had his plans thoroughly punctured, and winks out only to reappear—full size, in a French maid outfit and holding a feather duster.)
Discord: Fine. (walking toward Ponyville) But I don’t do windows. (The group follows him; cut to Twilight and Applejack.)
Applejack: One thing I don’t get. Why’d all this happen now?
Discord: (from o.s.) I have no idea.
(Zoom out; he has stopped and disposed of the outfit. The two mares stop behind him, as does Rainbow.)
Discord: Those seeds I planted should’ve sprouted up ages ago.
Twilight: What did you say?!?
Discord: Oh, why should I try to explain it when you can see for yourself?
(And with a blip of light, Zecora’s white potion is in his grasp. The irked young Princess floats the bottle over and takes a chug; her eyes flare white, the camera zooming in quickly. Fade in to Celestia and Luna stepping up to face down Discord—a return to the flashback of his defeat.)
[Animation goof: Unlike the original sequence, Celestia has her tail back on by this point.]
Celestia: Playtime is over for you, Discord!
(Cut to him, now messily scattering seeds from his bag.)
Discord: Oh, I doubt that. (He chomps one and offers them.) Hungry?
(One bounces off each regal forehead, improving their moods not a fraction.)
Discord: (voice over) Well, obviously things didn’t go according to my original plan.
(The seeds hit the ground and tunnel in, sending out their first black shoots.)
Discord: (voice over) My plunder seeds should have stolen the magic from the Tree of Harmony and captured Princess Celestia and Princess Luna thousands of moons ago.
(Those tendrils encounter a shimmering sheet of subterranean magic and are repulsed; tilt up to show the source as the Tree itself, its Elements removed.)
Discord: (voice over) Alas, it seems, the Tree had enough magic to keep the seeds from growing up big and strong.
(The tilt continues until the Tree is out of view and only the dark ceiling of its cavern is visible.)
Discord: (voice over) Until now, that is.
(Fade to white, then zoom out to frame Twilight in the here and now. She shakes the light out of her eyes and uses them to aim her most hostile glare his way.)
Twilight: You realize this is information we could’ve used hours ago?!?
Discord: And rob you of a valuable lesson about being Princess? (pinching her cheek) What kind of friend do you think I am?
(A joking pull at the violet hide, and he lets go so that her cheek snaps back; she glowers while he just smiles and extends the little finger of his taloned forelimb. Dissolve to a long shot of Canterlot, resplendent under a fully normal night sky and moon, and cut to squads of unicorn guards blowing a brass fanfare. They stand at the front edge of an outdoor stage on which a golden sun and silver crescent moon are displayed on stands. The scenario is identical to the Summer Sun Celebration that Twilight witnessed as a filly, detailed in her flashback during “The Cutie Mark Chronicles,” with the exception of the stage decoration. The sun stands to the left of the gathered crowd, the moon to their right. A second difference emerges when the camera pans through the spectators: Twilight’s five friends and Spike are here for this one.)
(Somewhere offstage, a nervous Twilight watches and smiles as Celestia and Luna walk past. The violet mare now wears a small gold tiara tipped with pink gems in place of the one that had held her Element. The two sisters step up, each in front of her symbol, and spread their wings.)
Celestia: Citizens of Equestria, it is no longer with a heavy heart, but with great joy that I raise the summer sun. For this celebration now represents not the defeat of Nightmare Moon… (Close-up.) …but the return of my sister… (Zoom out to frame both.) …Princess Luna!
(A cheer goes up from the multitude, and Luna rises in front of her stage prop with horn glowing. A lowering of her forelegs and wings causes the moon to sink slowly toward the horizon; the crowd shifts to awed murmurs, and now Celestia copies the move but raises her forelegs/wings. The sun slowly rises in time, and Twilight takes this as her cue to go airborne. As the two heavenly bodies pass one another, she rockets over the sisters to send out a bright pink burst of light in the shape of the central star in her cutie mark. It washes over both the courtyard and all of Canterlot, which now stands under a bright blue morning sky and rising sun. More ooh’s and ahh’s from the crowd; Twilight loops back as Celestia and Luna descend back to the stage and touches down next to them. She directs a grateful smile at the pair, who return it, then aims a grin toward the crowd before the view fades to black.)
CASTLE MANE-IA
Written by Josh Haber
Produced by Sarah Wall, Devon Cody
Story editing by Meghan McCarthy
Supervising direction by Jayson Thiessen
Co-directed by Jim Miller
Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)
Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to Twilight Sparkle deep into a study session in her upper-story living quarters in the library. She is reading at a desk piled with books, and stacks of other volumes take up most of the rest of the floor. A calm blue daytime sky can be seen through her bedroom loft window. The camera, positioned behind her, zooms in slowly before cutting to a close-up that highlights the intense frustration that has taken hold in her mind. She groans loudly and uses her magic to slam the book shut; cut to Spike as he reaches the top of the stairs. He wears the frilly, heart-decorated apron he used while watching the Great Dragon Migration in “Dragon Quest,” and he carries a feather duster, which he begins to ply on a patch of wall. Twilight’s book sails into view, smacking most of its plumes off and mashing them against the paneling; he eyes the remains sadly, then addresses himself across the room.)
Spike: What’s wrong, Twilight?
Twilight: (sighing, turning to face him) I’ve gone through every book in Ponyville, Spike. (levitating one, leafing through it) And there isn’t a single mention of the mysterious chest that came from the Tree of Harmony—nor anything about keys to unlock it!
(Referring to the six-locked box that it produced after she and her friends returned the Elements of Harmony to it in Part Two of “Princess Twilight Sparkle.” She turns to him and sends the book away.)
Twilight: But something tells me that opening it is pretty important. (flying up to the top of a tottering stack) I hope Princess Celestia has some ideas. (Magically open/inspect/close the top one.) If the library in Canterlot doesn’t have anything, I-I don’t know where else to look.
(An idle nudge from her hoof causes the stack—which reaches up to the floor of the loft—to tumble toward her assistant, who has ditched the denuded duster. He cries out in surprise a moment before getting buried in an avalanche of heavy reading; she touches down and floats a book off his head, and he uncorks a flaming belch that solidifies into a scroll. Twilight seizes this in her magic and unrolls it.)
Twilight: (reading) “My dearest Twilight: While it would be perfectly lovely to have you in Canterlot once more, I have another option in mind much closer to Ponyville.”
(Dissolve to her and Spike entering the Everfree Forest.)
Princess Celestia: (voice over, dictating) “As you know, the ancient castle that I once shared with Princess Luna lies mostly in ruins, deep in the Everfree Forest. But if you look carefully, you may find a book that could prove helpful to your research, hidden somewhere in what’s left of the castle library.”
(Accompanied by a series of dissolves to the following scenes. Head-on view of the pair moving along their path under the blue sky; Spike has shed his apron. The ruined Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters, shrouded in mist that clears as the camera zooms out to frame them approaching the rope/plank bridge that Rainbow Dash repaired during “Elements of Harmony.” A main hall marked by banners that depict the two winged unicorn sisters—blue with moon for Princess Luna on left, yellow with sun for Celestia on right; tilt up slowly toward its long-collapsed ceiling as the two advance down its length toward a flight of stairs and an elevated walkway that hugs the wall. An open doorway, the two step to the threshold and stop short, eyes bugging out.)
(Twilight sucks in an ecstatic gasp, her mouth turning up into a huge smile, but Spike just throws her a funny look as the camera zooms out to a long shot. They have reached the castle library, whose ceiling has mostly fallen in to litter the floor with stone debris—but the floor-to-ceiling shelves are crammed with books. Back to the pair; her wings briefly pop outward before she dashes in.)
Twilight: Wow! (flying to higher shelves) Look at all these ancient books! It’s a veritable gold mine of information! I can’t believe it! Woo-hoo!
(On the end of this, cut to a visibly unnerved baby dragon, walking along the aisle and taking note of the spiderwebs that have built up among the tumbled furniture. A few strands cling to the scaly hide, prompting him to yell in fear and topple backwards o.s. Snap to black in time with the thud of his landing.)
(The black screen splits lengthwise as if to show an eye opening, accompanied by the sound of a heavily beating heart. This is Spike’s perspective, blurry at first but quickly focusing to show his upside-down view of a stone unicorn-head carving; cut to frame him and zoom out quickly as he snaps to with a yelp. The head is a broken remnant of a winged-unicorn stallion statue, and he is lying directly underneath its muzzle. Spike sits up with an embarrassed laugh and brushes the webs off himself as a spider with a star marking on its back crawls down one stone wing.)
Spike: So, uh, Twilight, uh…ready to head home? (Cut to her, eagerly digging into a mountain of books.)
Twilight: Are you kidding? This place is perfect!
(Her wings flare briefly on this last word, underscoring her glee, and she dives into the pile. Cut to an extreme close-up of a shivering Spike, zooming out to frame the spiders crawling and suspended near him, and fade to black.)
OPENING THEME
Act One
(Opening shot: fade in to an extreme profile close-up of a pony’s face covered in buzzing bees, save for one red-violet eye. The color of both the iris and the eyelid above it suggests that Rainbow is at the bottom of it all, and the next voice confirms her identity. A stretch of farmland is visible behind her.)
Rainbow: (through gritted teeth) I’m not gonna move. (squinting) You move.
(Cut to a close-up of a second bee-covered face profile, whose narrowed green eye and patch of orange-tan around it give away Applejack’s involvement. Now an outbuilding at Sweet Apple Acres is seen—this face-off is taking place on the Apple family homestead. Applejack is facing in the opposite direction as Rainbow.)
Applejack: (same tone) Uh-uh. (Eye opens wide.) There is no way I’m movin’.
(Cut to Pinkie Pie seated at a nearby table, notepad in hoof and her alligator Gummy sitting on the tabletop. Both Applejack and Rainbow will continue to speak through their teeth until further notice.)
Pinkie: This is the most daring dare anypony ever dared dare another pony to dare! (Close-up of the pair, facing each other down point-blank.)
Applejack, Rainbow: Huh? (Pinkie puts down her notepad and beams.)
Pinkie: It’s exciting!
(But perhaps not so much for Gummy, who shows no reaction whatsoever when a bee flies into one nostril, bangs around in there for a moment, and buzzes right back out. On the start of the next line, pan past the very strange tableau—two rivals covered head to tail in bees—to frame a stallion walking up to Pinkie’s table. He is tan, with a curly brown mane and blue eyes, and his body is covered by a white full-body protective suit with a beehive on the haunch to mark him as a beekeeper. A broad-brimmed white hat with an attached veil provides coverage for head and face.)
Beekeeper: Uh, what y’all doin’?
Pinkie: Rainbow Dash and Applejack are competing for the title of Most Daring Pony! (She zips over to them.) This is the final test—the bee stare! Last pony to blink wins!
Beekeeper: (clearly unimpressed) I’m gonna need my bees back.
Rainbow: But then we’ll never find out who the Most Daring Pony is!
Beekeeper: Um, sorry about that.
(The pair again; at his o.s. whistle, the bees instantly vacate the premises and fly after him. Both Applejack and Rainbow have donned protective gear of their own. Zoom out quickly to a long shot that frames the stallion walking out through the gate in the boundary fence, then cut back to the three mares. Applejack and Rainbow resume their normal speech patterns.)
Applejack: (tipping hat/veil back; she is not wearing her usual one) Well, what do we do now?
Pinkie: Don’t worry, ladies. (trotting o.s.) I’ve been keeping excellent score all day.
(Cut to a close-up of her, running a hoof over a page in her pad.)
Pinkie: (to herself) Hmmm…move the decimal…carry the two, and… (out loud) …congratulations! You’re tied!
Applejack: Tied?
Rainbow: You can’t be tied for the Most Daring Pony!
Pinkie: I don’t know. Numbers don’t lie.
(Grabbing the pad in her teeth, she pivots to present the result of her figuring: a tally sheet split into two columns, one headed with a cloud/lightning bolt and the other with an apple. Both columns are filled with random doodles and not a single numerical calculation. Cut back to the competitors, who trade hopelessly confused glances.)
Pinkie: (from o.s.) I’d love to stay and keep keeping score. (Back to her on the end of this; now Gummy has clamped onto her tail.) But I promised to help test the new school bell. (swinging tail back and forth) I get to ring it all week nonstop! (stopping, hopping out through gate) And I don’t even have to take turns because no one else volunteered!
(She disappears around the first bend with a giggle; Rainbow shucks out of her suit and kicks it aside.)
Rainbow: Okay, no problem. We just have to come up with another daring dare.
Applejack: Right.
(Silence ensues as both mares scope out the area intently. Cut to the forest entrance and pan away from it to frame Applejack looking its way, while Rainbow eyes the opposite direction.)
Applejack: (smiling wickedly) I think I might have an idea of what we can do.
(The smile has turned into a grin, which Rainbow copies as if to say “Bring it on.” Wipe to Rarity trotting determinedly through a clearing in the forest and pan back to show Fluttershy walking at some distance behind her. The yellow pegasus has her rabbit Angel on her back.)
Fluttershy: Um, Rarity? Don’t you think it’s a little late in the day to be walking through the forest? It is… (Back to Rarity; she continues o.s.) …star spider season, after all. (She peeks up next to the unicorn, who stops.) Though I’m sure you have a very good reason.
Rarity: Simply the most important reason I’ve ever had in my entire life.
(She resumes walking and Fluttershy stands up with a smile.)
Fluttershy: Oh! Well, then I’m happy to help. (She follows; Angel is off her back.) What is it?
(Long shot; they approach the edge of the ravine bordering the forest’s ruined castle. During the next line, pan ahead to put them o.s. and frame the crumbling structure. The sky shows the colors of late afternoon.)
Rarity: (with mounting fervor) I’ve heard rumors that the castle of the two sisters is filled with the most gorgeous of ancient tapestries in all of pony history! (Back to her, stepping to the bridge; Fluttershy catches up.) It pains me to think of those magnificent creations rotting away in those old ruins, totally unappreciated.
(She begins to cross the bridge, but her traveling companion hangs back for a second.)
Fluttershy: (dryly) I see.
Rarity: I require your help in…borrowing one or two to bring back to the boutique where I can restore them. (Now at the other end, she stops with sudden inspiration.) Maybe I’ll even use the patterns as the inspiration for a new line! (Huge grin.)
Fluttershy: (reluctantly) That does sound…very important.
Rarity: Yes! Well… (Clear throat; bridge creaks behind her.) …maybe not the most important thing in my entire life, but retro-ancient classical will be all the rage next season, so it’s nothing to sneeze at.
(Angel passes her, then Fluttershy; one of the rabbit’s ears tickles her nose, causing her to expel a sudden sneeze. Wiping her nose, she falls in behind the two. Cut to an overhead shot of the ruined hall that held the Elements, their display contraption of platforms and shafts still as Twilight left it, and tilt up to frame the three sojourners on their way toward it. They stop just short of the entrance.)
Fluttershy: Um, are you sure you need those tapestries?
Rarity: (walking ahead) But of course—although I must admit, these ruins are a fright. (Stop short; she eyes some soil on her hooves with alarm.) Just look at all the dirt everywhere! Ugh…
(Angel bounds ahead and through a partly open set of double doors, leading to a panicked gasp from Fluttershy.)
Fluttershy: Angel!
(She gallops ahead of the trotting Rarity, whose hooves are again immaculate, and is first to enter. After both are well inside, a menacing shadow slowly extends into view, reaching up the steps that lead to the doors. Cut to the upper reaches of the main hall Twilight and Spike walked through during the prologue and tilt down slowly to frame the two mares on the start of the next line. The ceiling hole and the tall, narrow window at the far end display a sliver of sky that has darkened into evening.)
Rarity: Goodness! It’s practically an artistic treasure trove of ancient good taste!
(Angel hops into view from a side entrance; she sighs blissfully, but the rabbit just thumps a hind foot impatiently against the floor.)
Fluttershy: Angel! (galloping to him, hunching down) You really shouldn’t have run off like that. Ancient ruins are filled with all sorts of things that can hurt you. (He pays no mind and hurries off; Rarity follows.) You could stub your toe, or—or trip on a loose stone. You have to be careful.
(Only now does she come out of her lecture to realize that the others have left her behind. She stands up, looking nervously around herself, and hurries after them. Pan/tilt up to the elevated walkway at the end of the main hall; a flaming candelabrum floats across under Twilight’s control, and she walks along behind them.)
Spike: (from o.s.) I don’t think I’ll need all these candles, Twilight. (now in view, following her) I was really only scared for a second.
Twilight: (laughing a bit) Oh, these aren’t for you, Spike. (moving o.s.) We’re gonna be studying late into the night.
(That pronouncement freezes him in his tracks and makes his eyes go nice and big.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) And we’re gonna need all the light we can get.
Spike: (glumly) Oh. Great.
(He trudges off after her. Zoom out/tilt down toward ground level.)
Applejack: (from o.s.) Well… (now in view with Rainbow; she gestures about, wearing her own hat and out of the beekeeper suit) …here we are!
Rainbow: Uh, what’s so daring about this place? This is where we got the Elements of Harmony.
Applejack: (hushed) When I was just a filly… (trotting past, up a flight of stairs) …Granny Smith told me of an ancient legend. (A shaft of light picks out her face; tilt up slightly to frame the Luna banner hanging behind her.) When Nightmare Moon was banished, not every last bit of her dark magic went with her.
(The camera now cuts to the sky-blue pegasus, whose courage seems to be failing her a bit, and zooms in slowly.)
Applejack: (from o.s.) Granny used to say, when night falls on the castle… (Back to Applejack, in full ghost-story mode.) …that magic takes the form of…
(She backs up out of the light and voices the next four words at full volume.)
Applejack: …the Pony of Shadows!
Rainbow: You mean like a ghost? (Applejack whips over to her.)
Applejack: (hushed, eerily) Nopony knows.
(Rainbow just gives her a disgusted grunt. Cut to Rarity, who has discovered a battered Luna tapestry hanging on a wall elsewhere in the castle. She gasps in surprise as Fluttershy walks up; Angel trails some seconds behind her.)
Rarity: This one is perfect!
Fluttershy: Well…it certainly could use some restoration.
Rarity: Be a dear. Fly up there and lift it off that hook.
(Cut to one end of the horizontal brass rod from which the ancient textile is suspended. Fluttershy flies up to this, gets it in her teeth, and strains mightily to lift it free of its support bracket; no luck.)
Rarity: (calling up to her) Maybe from below?
(The yellow flyer drops to a few feet above the floor, shoots her a dirty look, and flies behind the tapestry for another go. It shifts and bulges with her efforts—but mixed in with the lot is a decidedly un-tapestry-like creaking noise. After a few moments, the entire section of wall suddenly rotates 180 degrees on a vertical pivot through its center, leaving only a blank stretch of masonry exposed for Rarity and Angel to gape at. Fluttershy has been swept out of sight by the mechanism she has apparently triggered.)
(Cut to Applejack and Rainbow walking through the main hall.)
Rainbow: I don’t see what’s so daring about an old legend. (Both stop.) Plus, I don’t believe in ghosts. (The Luna tapestry behind them starts to rustle as she finishes.)
Applejack: (shakily, pointing up at it) You might want to rethink your position on that.
(The cloth has begun to bulge and shift, emitting a series of terrified squeals and cries that send both mares shrieking for the nearest exit. However, a lightning flash and the sudden appearance of a long shadow—the same one that seemed to reach toward Fluttershy and Rarity as they entered the keep—stop their hooves and lungs cold. It can now be seen to possess the outline of a hooded head, with two un-shadowed spots marking the eyes. Realizing that they are now standing within its inky expanse, they cut loose with a pair of ear-splitting screams. Snap to black.)
Act Two
(Opening shot: snap to a longer shot of Applejack and Rainbow in the main hall. They are no longer standing within the hooded shadow, and it now extends along the ground and up the far wall as they stare bug-eyed up at it and scream. After the next lightning strike, it quickly withdraws o.s.—but the tapestry on the wall behind them continues to move.)
Applejack: You saw that, right?
Rainbow: RUUUUNNNN!!
(They do so, crossing to exit the main hall at full speed, and the camera pans to follow the tapestry wall as its 180-degree turn is reversed. Fluttershy tumbles out from the bottom edge—the other two were watching her struggles to get free—and notes a bent feather on one wing in close-up.)
Fluttershy: Ow. I think I hurt my wing. (Angel hops over to stroke it.)
Rarity: (stepping closer) Oh, my dear, I am so sorry. That tapestry is far too heavy. We’ll just have to find a smaller one. (She turns away.)
Fluttershy: Oh…of course. (She stands; Angel hops after Rarity.)
Rarity: Where, pray tell, did you disappear to? (Fluttershy starts off after them.)
Fluttershy: What do you mean?
Rarity: While you were struggling under that fabric, the entire wall spun around. (Fluttershy’s eyes pop.) You must have activated a secret door!
Fluttershy: Oh. I’m sorry. (Angel hops ahead.)
Rarity: I suppose these ruins are chock-full of them.
Fluttershy: (hunching down, suddenly scared) Really?
Rarity: Absolutely. We must use the utmost care as we—
(There comes a click, followed by the pair’s abrupt, screaming drop from sight. Cut to a close-up of one white-furred foot, which has pressed down a trigger plate built into the carpet, and zoom out. The newly opened trapdoor just behind Angel tells both where the mares went and how he inadvertently put them there. When he removes his foot, the plate springs back into place and the hatch closes, the outlines of both disappearing into the floor. The rabbit hops nervously away from the scene.)
(Cut to a long overhead shot of a corridor elsewhere in the castle. Applejack and Rainbow gallop in from the far end.)
Rainbow: (out of breath) Okay. So maybe the legend is true. (Close-up.)
Applejack: Well, that’s why I brought you here! (smugly) I guess only the most darin’ pony of all could stay in this castle all night without being scared off.
(The red-violet eyes pop and all four blue hooves skid to a stop; Applejack walks back to her a moment later, and both adopt a tone of forced bravado. They have ended up in a portrait gallery.)
Rainbow: Scared? I’m not scared.
Applejack: Well…me neither!
Rainbow: Then it’s settled. Whoever stays in the castle the longest is the Most Daring Pony! (Glare at Applejack.)
Applejack: (holding out a foreleg) Deal!
(One blue and one orange-tan hoof clack together to seal the agreement.)
Rainbow: (now very cocky, flying past Applejack) But it’s gonna take a lot more than some shadowy ghost pony to get me to leave.
Applejack: Me too! Hmph!
(Once she has galloped off after her rival, the camera zooms in on one portrait that depicts a dignified earth pony stallion in profile Hatchet jaw, gray mane and mustache, light-colored coat, formal dress jacket with blue sash and plenty of military decorations—and a blue eye that swivels slowly back to follow the would-be daredevils’ exit.)
(Cut to Twilight and Spike, now seated at opposite ends of a long table in the library. The candelabrum Twilight procured has been set between them, and both noses are buried in books; Twilight has a stack of other tomes within easy reach. Zoom in slowly and cut to her end.)
Twilight: Find anything, Spike? (He lets his book thump onto the table, open.)
Spike: Uh… (flipping page) …nope, nothing yet.
(Another one makes its way toward him seemingly under its own power, partly visible behind the table edge with its spine up. Once it gets close enough, it tumbles away and Angel hops up onto the table—he was carrying it on his head. Spike lets off a startled cry and topples backward in his chair; instead of falling over, though, it only tilts slightly due to a metal rod attached to one leg that runs through a hole in the floor. Hidden machinery begins to grind in response to this trigger. Cut to a head-on view of the bemused bunny, with Twilight looking on from the far end.)
Twilight: Angel? (Focus shifts to her; he glances her way.) What are you doing here?
(The candles all go out in a sudden gust of wind, caused by the bookshelves behind it sliding away to either side as the camera zooms out quickly. The shift exposes a lightless archway set into the wall; when the three step a bit closer, just enough illumination enters to expose a bookcase and a few throw pillows. Twilight pulls in a long gasp at the sight, and the camera cuts to inside this new area.)
(Now the lights have come up fully: bookcase, floor pillows, a large vase, two stained-glass windows—yellow sun and blue moon/stars—and a closed book resting on a stand. A slow pan across the room picks out a couch and table across from the literature collection.)
Twilight: (from o.s., awed) Whoa…
(Zoom in on the book, whose cover can now be seen to bear two gold images of unicorn heads facing each other. The next shot is from just behind the stand; she rushes up to it, eyes glued to the volume.)
Twilight: (reading) “The Journal of the Two Sisters.” (Happy gasp; she flies back onto one pillow, floating it along, and opens it.) Maybe this is the book Princess Celestia was talking about!
(On the end of this line, Angel bounds onto her back and the camera zooms out to frame Spike entering with great reluctance. A distant moan or wail sets him to chewing his lower lip. Cut to an overhead shot of a long staircase that spirals its way down the inside wall of a very high tower; Applejack is descending on hoof, while Rainbow goes on wing-power.)
Rainbow: (taunting) I sure hope you’re not afraid of the dark, Applejack.
Applejack: I can’t say that I am. But even if I was— (She stops.) —I’d be at least fifty percent less scared of it than you, Rainbow Dash! (Dirty look over the side.)
Rainbow: I don’t know how all that math works, because I’m not scared at all. (Applejack hustles down.)
Applejack: Me neither!
(Seeing her challenger gain ground so quickly prompts Rainbow to dive downward. Applejack stops short upon reaching the bottom.)
Applejack: Huh?
(Head-on view of them; the equally perplexed pegasus touches down alongside, folding her wings away.)
Rainbow: W-What’s the matter? (Zoom out slowly.) It’s just a dark hallway full of…disembodied pony legs.
(Which it is; the legs are pointing upward at an angle, the hooves bent downward, and each has a bracket attached to hold an extinguished torch. Back to the pair.)
Applejack: (scared) Yeah.
(She mashes her hat down, Rainbow shivers in place, and both move ahead with heads hunched into shoulders. The blue flyer uses her wings to block out most of her vision.)
Applejack: Nothin’ creepy about that.
(Fade to black. After a moment, two staring blue eyes—Rarity’s—open in the darkness.)
Rarity: (petulantly) I’m starting to wonder if maybe this castle doesn’t want my expertise!
(She kindles a light at the tip of her horn; zoom out to frame Fluttershy next to her. They have fallen to the bottom of a small stone chamber perhaps twice as deep as they are tall; the only remarkable feature is a hole bored through one wall.)
Fluttershy: (looking about in a panic) Oh, dear. Angel? Rarity, have you seen him? (Close-up of Rarity.)
Rarity: I’m not sure he made the trip down with us, dear. (Zoom out slightly to frame Fluttershy.)
Fluttershy: Oh, goodness! We have to find him. An ancient castle is no place for a bunny. (walking to one side, increasingly unhinged) He could get hit by falling debris, or the floor could give out under him—ohh, he could be trapped in a dark place with no way out!
Rarity: (dryly) I can only imagine how that might feel. (An idea hits her; she peers at the hole in the wall.) Hmmm…
(Cut to Applejack and Rainbow proceeding cautiously down the torch-less hall. Rainbow is several steps in the lead; cut to an extreme close-up of her face as a muffled thump is heard. She stops short, eyes popping wide, then smiles knowingly.)
Rainbow: Applejack, if you’re scared— (Sound of Applejack’s hooves stops.) —you can just admit it. You don’t need to put your hoof around me.
Applejack: (from o.s., a bit unsteadily) Uh…I’m over here.
(Pan away from the smug blue face to frame her opposite number still some distance back—and near the other wall to boot. She waves to get Rainbow’s attention and illustrate her innocence; cut back to Rainbow, who finally takes notice of the hoof now stretched across her shoulders—the sound of the thump. It is white with the faintest tinge of gray, and it extends from a hole in the wall.)
(Rainbow yells in fear and surprise, throwing off the interloping limb, and Applejack gives full voice to her own panic before both of them clear out. That hooded shadow looms up along the hall, as if inspecting the direction in which they have gone. Cut back to Rarity, foreleg extended through the hole she has found—this was what touched Rainbow. She recoils with a cry and shivers mightily.)
Fluttershy: Rarity! What is it?
Rarity: I felt something…alive!
(The yellow scaredy pony gasps happily, surprising Rarity no end.)
Fluttershy: Angel!
(She darts over and reaches toward the hole; cut to the hall side of the wall as her hoof extends through to grope blindly about. Nothing within reach; back to her, irises/pupils contracting to pinpricks in instant terror, then back to the hall side. She has touched the hoof of one wall-mounted leg, and a nudge causes it to swing outward slightly. This sets the entire section of wall spinning, just as the tapestry wall did in Act One; when it stops, two very puzzled ponies find themselves deposited in the hall.)
Rarity: Well, tapestries or no, I have had just about enough of secret passages, mysterious presences, and unappreciative castles!
(These last two words reverberate in the silence as the camera cuts to an overhead shot of the pair and zooms out. Cut to her, stomping sourly forward; Fluttershy pops up to block her path.)
Fluttershy: But we can’t leave now, not with Angel lost somewhere in this dangerous old castle. (Rarity walks on past her; she starts getting worked up again.) He could be trapped under a crumbling statue, or stuck high in a tower without food or water or any friends at all!
(This round of hyperbole ends with tears gathering in the blue-green eyes. From here, cut to a close-up of Angel, sitting comfortably on a pillow and chomping down a carrot with a gold goblet in easy reach. He tosses the end aside, and the camera cuts to a longer shot; he and Twilight are in the hidden library room, and he has a bowl of the vegetables within easy reach while she reads from the journal she has found. Several carrot-ends are scattered around the floor.)
Twilight: Spike, you’ve got to hear this! (reading) “I love to duck behind the paintings, and though the Hall of Hooves still gives her a bit of a fright, the trapdoor slide is Luna’s favorite.” (Spike crosses to her.)
Spike: “Hall of Hooves”?
(His boss just flips a page; cut to her perspective of the book, panning across. The left page depicts a long corridor and a drawing of one of the pony-leg torch holders. On the right one is a large pipe organ, with lines connecting it to a throne, a trapdoor, a suit of armor, and a torch holder.)
Twilight: “Soon the Organ to the Outside will be finished. I can hardly wait.” (Cut to the trio.)
Spike: What’s the Organ to the Outside?
Twilight: (giddily) I have no idea!
(Tilt down through the floor, past Fluttershy and Rarity in the pony-leg-decorated Hall of Hooves, and down to a still lower level. The upper ends of a massive set of organ pipes come into view, and the camera finally stops on its console, flanked by a pair of pegasus statues. A figure covered by a dark cloak is poised at the keys; it strikes a melancholy minor melody, the camera zooming out quickly. Cold candelabra stand around/above the instrument—the Organ to the Outside—and the carpet leading to it is bordered by musical notes on both sides.)
(The zoom only stops once the camera has backed out into the corridor leading into this chamber. Applejack gallops madly past but skids to a stop; Rainbow hurtles overhead, skimming the crown of her hat so that Applejack pitches forward onto her face and Rainbow veers wildly out of view. Both regain their balance and regroup, scared halfway out of their wits.)
Applejack: You hear that? (Organ stops.)
Rainbow: You mean the creepy sound of a haunted pipe organ?
Applejack: Uh…maybe.
Rainbow: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
(A new, foreboding chord prompts them to clutch desperately at each other and bail out. Cut to the hidden library room, where Spike looks uneasily out at the cold candelabrum on the table he and Twilight had been using. His back is to the camera; when he turns around, a pillow is clutched in his arms. The Organ’s sound dies away.)
Spike: Uh, Twilight? (pointing toward door) Did you hear something? (She is still intently hunched over the journal.)
Twilight: Oh, Spike, quit being such a scaredy dragon. This castle is thousands of years old and half of it was destroyed by Nightmare Moon.
(Cut to a noticeably un-reassured dragon on the end of this; crackles and pops accompany her next words.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) Of course it makes strange sounds. It’s practically falling apart.
(A fragment of the ceiling lands at his feet, throwing a fresh scare into him; across the way, Angel snickers from the comfort of his pillow.)
Spike: O-kay.
(Cut to a corridor in which Fluttershy is making her way into view from a side passage.)
Fluttershy: (calling out) Angel?…Angel? (Rarity follows her.)
Rarity: I’m sure we’ll find him.
(She quickly backpedals, her attention drawn by something o.s.; meanwhile, in close-up, the pegasus is frantically looking under one rock in a tumbled pile.)
Fluttershy: Angel?
(The search is interrupted by her partner’s quavering cry, so she lets the stone fall and hurries back.)
Fluttershy: Did you find Angel? Is he okay?
(Cut to just behind Rarity, who has found the remains of the throne room in which Twilight watched Luna turn into Nightmare Moon during her first flashback in “Princess Twilight Sparkle.” She gasps happily, the camera tilting up during the next line to put her out of view.)
Rarity: They are perfect!
(Stop on the Tree of Harmony window’s smashed frame and the tops of the Princesses’ banners; Celestia’s is in rather bad shape, while Luna’s has fared somewhat better. Back to the unicorn on the start of the following; Fluttershy comes up next to her.)
Rarity: No castle in its right mind could possibly object to my restoring such exquisite works of art! (She gallops ahead.)
Fluttershy: (forcing enthusiasm) Oh! They’re lovely, Rarity, but…I have to keep looking for Angel. (looking to one side) Oh, I hope he doesn’t think I’ve given up on him.
(As she turns away from the thrones to continue the search, Rarity hurries up the steps to stand on Luna’s throne.)
Rarity: I’m right behind you!
(She envelops the fabric above it in her magic and tries to pull it down.)
Rarity: (straining, grunting) Won’t…be…a moment!
(Tilt down quickly to another level of the castle. Applejack and Rainbow poke their heads into view from around a doorway, and the camera zooms out quickly to frame this new milieu. They are at one end of a hallway lined with pony suits of full plate armor. Cut to a head-on view of one helmeted head, tilting down slowly, and shift to others during the next line.)
Applejack: (from o.s.) Do you think there’s a single room in this castle that isn’t filled with terrifyin’ things?
(Rainbow flaps over to one of said things, nudges it, and recoils sharply as it rattles back and forth.)
Rainbow: Whoa! (She finds Applejack right behind her and laughs sheepishly.) It’s just old pony armor. (Applejack walks smugly past.) What’s the big deal?
Applejack: Yeah. It’s not like it’s gonna come to life or anything. (nervously) Right?
(Her courage wavers greatly as she proceeds onward, the camera moving with her to pass behind one suit of armor. The motion blacks out the view, and the pan continues to stop on a long shot of the Organ from the doorway of its chamber. That cloaked figure is still poised at the keys; as soon as it presses one, a note sounds and the display platform on which Applejack is standing whirls toward the wall.)
Applejack: Huh?
(When is stops, she is out of view and a suit of armor has been deposited in her place. The quick change sets Rainbow’s nerves very far on edge, and she lets go with a good loud yell.)
(A couple of other keys are pressed, generating a dissonant chord; now Luna’s throne whirls to throw Rarity backwards out of view with a yelp. Fluttershy cries out as well upon realizing her friend’s absence. The next jangling tones set a floor panel whirling in front of the contented Angel to deposit a fresh bowl of carrots, and the fun continues with the next succession of tones. Applejack is dumped onto a very small and very high exterior ledge, forward momentum nearly carrying her past its lip.)
Applejack: Whaaa—
(The sight of a dragon statue a few feet away, and the crack of lightning that picks out every menacing feature, prompt a horrified yell from the workhorse. Elsewhere, Rarity is pitched bodily through a small hatch and tumbles across a patch of floor bordered by the remnants of walls, so that the area is open to the night sky. Her coat, mane, and tail are now scuffed and matted with leaves and twigs, and she cries out upon realizing that the end of Luna’s banner has come off in her hooves. The cry soon turns into a drilling shriek of abject terror.)
(Cut to Twilight and Angel in the hidden library room and zoom out slowly as she keeps right on busting pages. The last of Rarity’s scream fades away, and Spike pokes his head into view from above as the Organ plays a short, somber passage. Snap to black.)
Act Three
(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of the castle grounds under a night sky filled with most unfriendly clouds. Lightning bolts tear through the dimness, the accompanying thunder lingering long after their flashes have gone. Cut to Rarity, shaking and spitting away the plant debris covering her; the tapestry shred she brought along lies on the floor.)
Rarity: Now you look here, castle! You are very old and very scary— (Her perspective of the structure, looking up; wind howls among the towers.) —but your wall art is in an atrocious state! (Back to her.) And there is nothing you can do to keep me from my sacred task of restoration!
(She gallops in on the end of this, levitating the cloth scrap and diving through a window frame near the hatch through which she got put out of the joint. Inside the armor hall, Rainbow looks around herself, nerves singing soprano.)
Rainbow: Uh…Applejack? If you went back to Ponyville, that means I win. (Close-up of one metal breastplate; she continues o.s.) Right?
(A backwards step brings her rump in contact with the armor, which overbalances and crashes down squarely on top of her. Up she comes with a scream; bailing out an instant later as fast as those blue feathers can move air. Meanwhile, in the throne room, Fluttershy advances warily into view.)
Fluttershy: (calling out) Rarity? (climbing steps to Luna’s throne) I know hiding isn’t really your sense of humor… (near tears) …but please let this be a joke!
(She looks about, finding no trace of the fashionista’s presence, and eases one front hoof ever so slowly toward the royal seat. It makes the lightest contact with the dark blue cushion an instant before a thundering chord from the Organ shakes the entire room. Fluttershy shoots into the air, crying out and hyperventilating, and exits at full speed. Back to the armor hall; one platform whirls to deposit a yelling Applejack in place of the suit it had held. She shakes the fuzzies out of her head, glares back at the now-hidden wall passage that brought her back, and takes stock of the armor that Rainbow knocked over. Next to its empty platform is a lightless doorway. Zoom in on the empty platform, then cut to the other side of this new portal as she peeks around its frame.)
Applejack: (echoing) Rainbow? (Zoom out slowly.) Hel-loooo? (Pause.) I guess if I don’t find you, I win by default! Right?
(She steps fearfully through and toward the camera, the view fading to black in time with her approach. Snap to one of the main hall’s side entrances; amid much clattering and grunting—and a scatter of rock fragments—Rarity tumbles through it and into view. She lands hard on her face, the purloined bit of tapestry fluttering to the ground behind her, and sits up to display the supremely fed-up expression that has rooted itself on her face. The leaves and twigs are now so badly tangled into her mane/tail/coat that she can barely scrape any of them loose.)
Rarity: Of all the castles in Equestria, this is by far the most ungrateful!
(“By far” is punctuated with a hoof stomp. A bit of stone drops into view, bouncing off her noggin, and she glowers up toward wherever it came from. The camera cuts briefly to her perspective of the crumbled ceiling and the towers above, tilting slowly down through the clouds and lightning, and then back to her. Petulance shifts into good old-fashioned fear and prompts her to back away across the main hall very slowly and cautiously.)
(Cut to a doorway elsewhere in the castle; Fluttershy backs up through it.)
Fluttershy: (voice half-gone from fear) Angel? Rarity? Oh, I hope you two are together.
(In the armor hall, one suit is pushed forward from the wall, platform and all, and Applejack risks a glance out around it. She has moved it from behind, taking advantage of the passage she found in her previous scene, and she eases back in. A good look at one of the fearsome steel faces prompts her to cry out and leap backward through the doorway at the far end of the hall for a slow reverse exit. From here, cut to Rainbow in flight.)
Rainbow: Haunted statues…creepy armor… (She exits through a tower’s upper window.) …come on, castle! Is that all you got?
(The clouds choose this moment to unleash a lightning bolt that hits a little too close for comfort; she slowly eases herself down toward ground level. Cut in turn to Applejack , Fluttershy, and Rarity—each one backing up with panic-stricken eyes darting in all directions—then to the point at which they and Rainbow all run into each other in the main hall. A four-part scream of bone-chilling terror pulverizes the silence, the camera zooming out to frame the otherwise empty section of the castle.)
(Pan/tilt up quickly to the upper reaches; Rainbow sails into view and bounces madly about like a pinball, yelling all the while. Back on solid ground, her yellow counterpart and Applejack are charging around in a high-decibel frenzy; Rainbow’s next ricochet sends her glancing off the support rod of the first tapestry Rarity tried to commandeer. The whole thing comes loose and slithers toward the floor just as the white unicorn—now cleaned up—slides to a stop with a cry and finds herself in its shadow. Cut to her perspective of it, then to an overhead shot of her and zoom in during the next line.)
Rarity: I was only trying to restore ancient art!
(Her last words are mixed up with a sob as the view fades to black, the sound of her voice becoming muffled by the tapestry that now covers her. Snap to her in a full blind gallop; the wake of her passage stirs up a couple of leaves that land on a nearby boulder, pointed ends up. A flash of lightning throws the assembly’s shadow onto the nearest wall so that it vaguely resembles Angel. Pan slightly to bring Fluttershy into view, huddled and whimpering in a nearby doorway. The next bolt brings the shadow through loud and clear, and she stands up with a happy gasp.)
Fluttershy: Angel?
(Applejack’s hollering mad dash caroms her off a couple of columns, one of which cracks and collapses just in time for Fluttershy to see the dust boiling up.)
Fluttershy: (eyes instantly full of tears) Angeeeellll!
(Cut to Twilight and the very-much-intact Angel, who have not shifted a particle from their crash pad in the hidden library room. The scholar looks up from her reading, having heard the muffled sounds of the ruckus or fracas even from here. The rabbit, meanwhile, now has no fewer than three half-emptied bowls of carrots arrayed near himself.)
Twilight: What in the world is that?
Spike: (from o.s.) Oh, you know… (Close-up; he is huddled under a piece of furniture and biting his claws.) …probably just more strange sounds of this old castle falling apart!
(Zoom out as Twilight walks calmly past; he is under the couch across the room.)
Twilight: No one likes sarcasm, Spike.
(Here comes Angel, who gives him a disapproving head shake; the dragon crawls out of his hiding place and stands up. Cut to the three advancing onto the main hall walkway, where they are greeted by the screams of the other four explorers; Rarity’s voice is coming through loud and clear now.)
Spike: What got into them?
(Zoom out to frame the entire area. Applejack is galloping back and forth, Fluttershy sobbing over the collapsed column that she believes has ended her rabbit’s life, Rainbow flying tight circles, Rarity dashing around and unable to see due to the tapestry still covering her. The thwarted restorer’s voice comes through loud and clear now.)
Fluttershy: (straining to lift debris) It’s okay, Angel. You’re okay. You’re okay!
(The farm pony leaps onto the pile, scaring her off, and trots wildly in place with a yell as Rainbow’s shadow flits about.)
Applejack: Shadows everywhere!
(Down comes a panicked cry from the owner of said shadow, who zooms past one rather puzzled Princess and dragon. Rarity has come to a stop amid the uncontrolled chaos and is sobbing her eye out; Fluttershy collapses face-first onto the fallen column.)
Fluttershy: (crying) Angel!
(Now Twilight has had enough and too much of this, and she plants herself on the landing of the main hall stairs.)
Twilight: All right, everypony STOOOOP!!
(She lets go with a spell on this last word, the camera zooming out as it washes over her four freaked-out friends, freezing them in place and stunning them into silence. Each speaker is left with the ability to move only her eyes and mouth.)
Applejack: Twilight?
Fluttershy: Must…save…Angel!
(Who proceeds to give her a smile, bending one of his ears to flip her a salute.)
Fluttershy: (instantly calm) Oh.
Rainbow: Fluttershy? What are you doing here?
Rarity: She’s with me!
(Spike and Angel come down the stairs to Twilight, who lets her spell dissipate. Fluttershy relaxes from her effort to shift the rubble; Rainbow nearly drops out of the air but rights herself. The tapestry is whisked away from Rarity, and Applejack crosses to her and Twilight as Fluttershy joyfully reunites with her pet. The violet magic user is now at ground level.)
Rarity: Thank you.
Twilight: Have you all spent the whole night running around scaring each other?
Applejack: Well…that depends.
Twilight: On what? (Rainbow drops to her level.)
Rainbow: (pointing at her) On whether or not you’re the Pony of Shadows.
Spike: (frightened, shivering) What’s the Pony of Shadows? (Twilight kneels down to him.)
Twilight: Oh, that’s just an old ponies’ tale.
(A fugue from the distant Organ sends all five ponies and both members of other species into a huddle. All shiver with fright save Twilight, who displays a very skeptical look.)
Spike: Then who’s playing…that?
Twilight: (hushed) We’re going to find out.
(She plods toward a side exit, taking the rest of the group with her—they have latched onto various bits of her anatomy. Dissolve to them, now all back on their own hooves/feet and walking slowly along a corridor; Spike pauses briefly to peer over the bottom edge of a window, then gets moving to bring up the rear with Rainbow. The octet continues to advance, the camera cutting to Twilight’s perspective as she peers into the Organ’s chamber and takes in the disguised player. Cut to a head-on view of the bunch, gasping in surprise.)
Twilight: (whispering) The Pony of Shadows!
(She slips into the room while most of the others back up around the doorframe; meanwhile, the performer continues working the keys to pour out the foreboding melody. The observers’ mouths drop open in fear…and Twilight eases up the steps, going unnoticed by the hooded figure…and then she sets her mind to it and grabs the cloth in her magic. One good yank exposes a bright pink mare with curly magenta mane/tail, who finally stops playing and smiles over her shoulder.)
Pinkie: Hey, you guys! Did you know I can totally play the organ? Because I didn’t! (The others are all in the room now.)
All other mares, Spike: PINKIE?!?
Pinkie: Check it out!
(She plays a quick “charge” fanfare and goes into a light calliope-style melody; Rainbow flies up to glare at her from close range.)
Rainbow: You’re the Pony of Shadows?
Pinkie: The Pony of what?
Twilight: See? What’d I tell you?
Applejack: I thought you had to ring the school bell all week. (Pinkie stops playing.)
Pinkie: Oh, yeah. I only had to ring it for, like, five minutes. They said that was good enough. (tapping a few keys) Heh. Can’t imagine why.
(Quick pan to the bell mounted in its tower atop the Ponyville schoolhouse during the day. Pinkie stands underneath it, grinning like an idiot, and swings he head back and forth to hit the bell and produce a clamor of ringing. Another quick pan brings the focus back to Twilight; Rainbow swoops down next to her, and both roll their eyes in mild disgust.)
Pinkie: (from o.s.) So then, I decided to throw a “Finished Ringing the School Bell” party! (Back to her on the end of this.) But I didn’t have any bluebells, and you can’t throw a “Finished Ringing the School Bell” party without bluebells. So I went to Everfree Forest to pick some, but it started to get so chilly.
(On the mention of the forest, the camera cuts briefly to an irate Rarity, on the receiving end of Applejack’s concerned sidewise glance, then back to Pinkie. She shivers a bit to make her point.)
Pinkie: (noodling a bit on the keys) I had to wrap myself up in the tarp I was gonna use to carry the flowers. And then I saw Fluttershy and Rarity, but they went into the castle before I could invite them to my party. Luckily, I followed them inside so I could help you all with your party.
(She turns to face them as she finishes.)
Rarity: What party is that?
Pinkie: Uh… the “Everpony Come to the Scary Old Castle and Hide From Each Other While I Play the Organ” party?
(One pink hoof hits a random key on the end of this, followed by the clicking of a mechanism—and then a small, spring-loaded floor panel launches Spike up and backwards. He hits the ground well behind the others; Pinkie just beams at them.)
Pinkie: Duh!
(She hops down from the Organ, leaving five very puzzled friends in her wake. Tilt up from them and dissolve to the entire group in the hidden library room. Pinkie hops around, Fluttershy nuzzles joyfully with Angel, and Twilight reads the Princesses’ journal on the couch while Spike dives into a book of his own. Rarity, meanwhile, has obtained a tapestry at last and is using a levitated needle and thread to sew up a rip in the formerly opulent fabric. Close-up of her.)
Rarity: I swear, this is going right back where I found it, just as soon as I’ve returned it to its former glory. (Pan to Fluttershy and Angel.)
Fluttershy: Now don’t go running off again. Oh, I can’t believe I was so frightened. (Another nuzzle.) Guess I let my imagination get the best of me. (Applejack and Rainbow are over by the windows.)
Applejack: I think we all did. (Pinkie hops over to them.)
Pinkie: I always let my imagination run away from me. Then it comes back—with cake! (Pan to Twilight and Spike.)
Twilight: Well, it’s good to know that whenever your imagination is getting away from you, a good friend can help you rein it in. (turning pages) And even though I didn’t find anything out about the mysterious chest, I’m glad I was here to help all of you.
Rarity: You certainly did that, Twilight.
Rainbow: Yeah! Why weren’t you scared?
Twilight: (closing journal) Reading Celestia’s diary made it hard to be afraid, because I knew what it was like when she and Luna lived here. Knowing something about the past made it easier to deal with my problems in the present. (nudging Spike; he blushes) Even the scary ones.
(Cut to a pan across the others; they make assorted noises of agreement.)
Twilight: (standing) I just thought of a great idea! (levitating journal) Why don’t we keep a journal, just like the Royal Pony Sisters?
Fluttershy: All of us? (Pinkie hops across past her.)
Twilight: (crossing to others; crash from o.s.) Sure! That way, we can learn from each other. And maybe someday, other ponies will read it and learn something too!
Rarity: What a splendid idea!
Applejack: I know what my first entry will be. “Dear Diary: I’m glad Granny Smith’s legend wasn’t true.”
Rainbow: Me too. (Pinkie pops up between them, scaring both.)
Pinkie: Me three—because that means you two are still tied for Most Daring Pony!
(That update is all it takes for the two contenders to give each other the old hairy eyeball. Spike voices a contemptuous chuckle, having put his book away.)
Spike: Shadow ponies. (crossing floor) How ridiculous is that?
(Pan slowly away and out of the room to stop on the helter-skelter furniture and books that litter the floor of the dim library proper. The hooded shadow that has made intermittent appearances looms over the floor and up a set of shelves, but with no eyes visible within the head’s outline. When the camera zooms in to a close-up, that issue resolves itself in the form of two yellow-glowing orbs that suddenly open wide to stare intently out. They narrow to menacing slits, as if annoyed at Spike’s offhand dismissal of the existence of the Pony of Shadows. Snap to black.)
DARING DON’T
Written by Dave Polsky
Produced by Sarah Wall, Devon Cody
Story editing by Meghan McCarthy
Supervising direction by Jayson Thiessen
Co-directed by Jim Miller
Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)
Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to a close-up of a drawing attached to a tree trunk during the day. It depicts two images of a bird flapping its wings—up in the top one, down in the bottom. Each is marked with an arrow to show the direction of the flap. Zoom out to frame it at the base of a limb on which Fluttershy is standing; in front of her is a nest containing two hatchlings. Motioning for their attention, she flaps her own wings to demonstrate—this is a flying lesson—and hovers above the limb. A “now you try” gesture to the babies is followed by a puzzled look passing between the two, after which they get their own pinions going and unsteadily rise from the nest.)
(Cut to a close-up of a beaming Fluttershy and zoom out quickly as the multicolored blur of Rainbow Dash’s flight streaks around the tree.)
Rainbow: (excitedly) Four more months, four more months, four more months!
(On the last repetition, she plows the yellow pegasus up and away from the tree so that they end up above the Ponyville rooftops.)
Rainbow: I bet you’re excited, huh?
Fluttershy: Oh…my. I, uh… (slowly flying away) …I could be excited. I don’t really know. I wasn’t really think— (Rainbow zips over to cut her off.)
Rainbow: Come on! You gotta be excited!
Fluttershy: (clutching her tail) Oh, well, I guess maybe I’m a little kinda sort of excited.
Rainbow: (grabbing Fluttershy’s shoulders) I thought so!
Fluttershy: Yeah. So, um…why am I excited?
Rainbow: (clapping) Because the next Daring Do book is coming out exactly four months from today! (doing a backflip) That’s how exciting it is! (zipping around Fluttershy, punching at air) So, what amazing, incredible, awesome adventure do you think Daring Do will have in her next book, huh? Will she…
(The scene dissolves to a jungle landscape, in which Daring Do—the orange-brown pegasus mare whose adventures Rainbow began to follow in “Read It and Weep”—moves some undergrowth aside to watch a step-pyramid temple in the near distance. The daytime sky is a weird shade of green, and Daring appears in the same position as Rainbow. The right-wing injury she had suffered in the book Rainbow was reading back then has healed.)
Rainbow: (voice over) …at long last stalk the fortress of Talacon… (Several stallions in Central American tribal garb appear on the terraces, produce bows/arrows, and open fire.) …only to be forced to contend with its dreaded and impenetrable arrow defense?
(Daring spins 180 degrees, putting her rump toward the temple, and whirls her tail to produce a monochrome rainbow twister that sucks up all the projectiles.)
Rainbow: (voice over) And if so, could her skill, quick wits, and courage possibly carry the day?
(One downward swing slams the arrows harmlessly against the grass; now she launches herself toward the foes with a fierce grin and an extended foreleg.)
Rainbow: (voice over) Or…will her next adventure bring her face to face with the vast and horrible Ahuizotl himself?
(The end of this line is marked by a close-up profile of that blue-furred foe’s two-tone, elongated, snarling face—also first seen in “Read It and Weep.” Daring goes nose-to-nose with him, the camera zooming out to show him standing atop the temple. Ahuizotl lets go with a roar forceful enough to hurl her backwards amid a scatter of leaves and send her pith helmet flying off.)
Rainbow: (voice over) Would she cower? (She catches the helmet and dons it.) Turn tail and run? (Diving charge, swerving around a hail of thrown weapons.) Or…would she fly at him full-bore— (Her perspective; Ahuizotl is doing the hurling.) —knowing full well against all odds that the greatest challenge she’d ever faced— (Back to Daring.) —was still sure to be no match for—
Ahuizotl: (gasping, Fluttershy’s voice) Look out!
(The mental picture disappears in a puff of smoke, and Fluttershy—mow holding Ahuizotl’s pose, but in midair—sidesteps to avoid taking a flying tackle from Rainbow. The blue pegasus barrels past, followed by a thud and a scatter of leaves; cut to a close-up of her, now scuffed up and badly dazed from the impact, and zoom out. The two chicks Fluttershy was teaching to fly are doing a slow circle above her head, and a longer shot reveals that she has landed in their nest.)
Fluttershy: (to birds, landing on branch) Oh, I’m not so sure she’s gonna last another four months.
(Fade to black.)
OPENING THEME
Act One
(Opening shot: fade in to the door to the library.)
Rainbow: (hopping toward it, now cleaned up) Three months and twenty-six days, three months and twenty-six days, three months and twenty-six days!
(Cut to just inside; she opens the door and steps in.)
Rainbow: Hey, Twilight! Aren’t you excited that—
(She gets no farther before the end of a party favor unrolls toward her, sounding off. A cut to the reading room shows it to be in the mouth of Pinkie Pie, wearing a balloon-marked fez and hanging upside down from the ceiling. Fluttershy and Rarity are here as well—the former wearing a flowered top hat, the latter a tiara—and Twilight Sparkle is fully seen when Pinkie hoists herself out of view. The Princess wears a starry party hat over her horn, glowing to levitate a cup. Cakes and treats are laid out on the central table, and balloons are hung up everywhere; Rarity holds a few as well.)
Twilight: So glad you finally made it! (Applejack dances a bit, wearing a huge red cowboy hat decorated with white apples.)
Rainbow: What’s everypony doing here?
Pinkie: We’re having a holiday party! (She blows a party horn in Rainbow’s face, showering her with confetti/streamers.)
Rainbow: So what holiday would today be?
Pinkie: National Random Holiday Party Day! Woo-hoo! (Rarity crosses to them, floating her own drink; she has put her balloons away.)
Rarity: I’ve never heard of it either… (Sip.) …but the punch is quite tasty.
Pinkie: You might say the secret ingredient is…
(She looks furtively around herself before leaning in close and addressing herself directly into Rainbow’s ear.)
Pinkie: (whispering loudly) …a secret! (Big squeaky grin; she darts away.)
Rainbow: How come nopony bothered to invite me? (Applejack comes up on her other side.)
Applejack: I came to invite you personally, but it seems you were a speck too busy readin’ the last Daring Do book for the twelfth time!
Rainbow: Yeah, well, in three months and twenty-six more days— (taking a cup from a tray Twilight is floating) —I’ll be able to read the next one. (She drinks.)
Twilight: Oh! Haven’t you heard? The release of the next book got pushed another two months.
(The adventure-novel fan nearly chokes on her punch upon hearing this, then spits the whole mouthful into Twilight’s face.)
Rainbow: Two more months?!? I’ve been waiting so long already! (jittering, sweating) I don’t think I can take another two months. I’ll never make it!
(She makes her point by flopping spreadeagle, flat on her face.)
Fluttershy: Yeah. I can vouch for that.
(The yellow mare ducks away just before the pink one lowers her head into view and plunks a striped party hat onto the Technicolor mane. She then pulls herself up and o.s.; Rainbow peels her face up off the floor.)
Rainbow: Did they give a reason?
Twilight: The publisher just said author A.K. Yearling won’t be able to finish the book for another two months. (She floats up a tray of…) Cupcakes?
(Pinkie is first to take advantage of the offer, chomping one right off the tray in one bite; now Rainbow stands up with a grumpy little whicker.)
Rainbow: How could you possibly know that before me? I’m the series’ biggest fan!
Twilight: I’m just as big a fan as you. In fact, I’m the one who first introduced you to the books, remember?
Rainbow: (sheepishly) Oh. Right.
Twilight: A.K. Yearling just might be my favorite author. I know everything about her. (Close-up.) Where she grew up… (Pan toward an irritated Rainbow.) …where she studied literature… (now o.s.) …where she wrote the first Daring Do book…
(Something clicks in the blue cranium.)
Rainbow: Where she lives? (Cut to Twilight.)
Twilight: Uh…no. (rubbing chin) Though I could probably find out somehow. Why?
Rainbow: (with increasing fervor) Don’t you get it? The new book is obviously delayed because she needs help dealing with whatever everyday nonsense is distracting her from spending her every living breathing second writing!
(She punctuates these last five words with a series of hoof thumps against the floor.)
Rainbow: So I… (catching herself) …I mean, fans like me… (Cut to an unimpressed Twilight, rolling eyes and shaking head; she continues o.s.) …can get to read the next book ASAP! (To Applejack and Rainbow.) Think about it! We could help her with her laundry, buying her groceries, cooking her meals, whatever!
(She pronounces the acronym as “A-sap.” During her enumeration of helpful activities, she first throws a foreleg around Applejack’s shoulders, then flicks Pinkie’s forelock, and finally addresses the entire group while standing on her hind legs. Finally stopping to let her mind cool down just slightly, she drops back to all fours.)
Rainbow: Now who wouldn’t appreciate that?
Twilight: Hmmm…I don’t know. What she probably wants most of all is respect for her privacy. (Rainbow flies in her face.)
Rainbow: She can always just say no.
(Touching down again, the blue flyer puts a foreleg around Twilight’s shoulders and smiles toward the others. Cut to Applejack, Fluttershy, and Pinkie, whose uncertainty yields to a round of agreeing smiles and nods. The librarian lets off a weary little moan as Rainbow’s smile turns into a grin.)
Twilight: I suppose you’re right.
Rainbow: Of course I am.
(She flies o.s. at speed, her party hat falling off, but doubles back a moment later.)
Rainbow: (winking) So how’s about getting that address?
(This just earns her a very annoyed look. Dissolve to a slow pan over a map of the area, with a red line starting at the library and meandering its way out of Ponyville through the surrounding countryside. It describes a number of sharp turns and loops, more or less following the local railroad line for a time before veering across it and into a mountain range. From here, the view dissolves to a close-up of a paintbrush in a pony’s teeth, being dragged along the ground to mark out that self-same red line. A zoom out identifies the painter as Pinkie, who is walking backwards to do this job with a can of paint balanced on her back. She is moving through a heavily forested area and has shed the fez she wore during the party; when the others are next seen, they will have ditched their hats and Applejack will have her brown one back on.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) You see what I mean? (Pan ahead to her, Applejack, and Rarity.) Why would she live in this remote part of Equestria, except to keep folks from intruding on her privacy? We should respect— (Rainbow, fully keyed up, zips out from among the trees.)
Rainbow: I think I spotted the house! We’re super-close! (pointing ahead) This way!
(She flies ahead, all others following except for Twilight. Fluttershy is now with them, and Pinkie has disposed of her can and brush.)
Twilight: Wait!
(Seeing that there is no reasoning with these five, she trots after them. Up ahead, they have gathered behind a clump of bushes, staring concernedly ahead; she pulls up in time.)
Twilight: Oh, no! What happened?
(Cut to a long shot of a thatched-roof cottage in a small clearing. The place is a wreck: assorted belongings strewn about the yard, stove-in water barrel lying on its side, door bashed off the hinges, open front window, side window shutters askew. Zoom in during the next line.)
Rainbow: (from o.s.) Apparently somepony has intruded on her privacy pretty hard already.
(A precariously balanced chair topples onto its back. Cut to just inside the door; Rainbow’s head pops up outside to peek through its window, and her knock causes it to tumble free of the frame. All heads but Fluttershy’s quickly peek in, the camera cutting to a slow pan across the thoroughly ransacked interior.)
Applejack: (from o.s.) Hoo-wee! Somepony really trashed this place! (Stop on Pinkie, eyeing a fallen book.)
Pinkie: (pointing at it) Hmmm…maybe.
(She instantly pops up from an accumulation of detritus with an upside-down cooking pot on her head for a helmet.)
Pinkie: Orrrr… (rapid fire, sliding down stair banister with blanket, holding up books/papers) …maybe A.K. Yearling’s just a terrible, horrible, unbelievable slob!
(She cheerfully flings the lot every which way; now Rarity eyes a shattered mirror.)
Rarity: I hope A.K. Yearling’s all right. (Twilight regards a pile near the lit fireplace.)
Twilight: Oh, no! What if something terrible happened to her? (Rainbow pops up from the mess.)
Rainbow: (scrabbling at papers) I know! There might be no more books!
(Realizing that she has again let her enthusiasm get the better of her, she calms down.)
Rainbow: (paper wad falling off her) Uh, but of course I’d be worried about her, too. (Nervous chuckle.)
(An older female voice, more than a little irritated, catches her completely off guard. On the next line, the camera zooms out slightly to frame a shadowed silhouette standing at what used to be the front door. It is so dimly lit that the only discernible features are a cape covering all her body except her front hooves, a pair of very large eyeglasses, and a cloche hat that covers nearly her entire head.)
Voice: What are you all doing here?
(Rainbow, shocked beyond words, swivels her head to look at the figure straight on. In close-up, the mare advances into the light; the glasses are red-framed, the cape purple with pale yellow collar trim, the hat gray with a light pink ribbon band. The faded orange-brown coat and red-violet eyes match the colors of Daring as shown on the cover of the first novel Rainbow read in “Read It and Weep,” and a few locks of dark gray mane peek out from under the hat.)
Rainbow: (from o.s., stammering) Uh…A…K… (Back to her.) …Year…ling?
(Big, squeaky, dopey look of admiration. The other five—Fluttershy now among them, hunkering in a corner—are caught out by A.K. Yearling’s sudden appearance.)
Twilight: We didn’t do this! We swear!
Yearling: (trotting into room) What have you done to my house? (She dives to a carpet Applejack is standing on.)
Applejack: We didn’t do this, Ms. Yearling. (A nip and yank at the edge whip the cloth away to send her tumbling.) Whoa!
(Yearling shifts her focus to an overturned table near Twilight and starts to rummage around it.)
Twilight: We’re awfully glad to see you’re all right.
(Across the way, Rainbow is next to a writing desk piled high with books and is standing on another one, pawing at some notes on the floor. Hearing the sound of approaching hooves, she gets hers away from the papers and looks away with an innocent whistle. Yearling darts over here and digs around in the clutter, throwing several books down.)
Rainbow: Okay, clearly this isn’t the best time, but I just gotta say how much we all really love your books.
(Her ingratiating chuckle has no effect on the put-out writer, who spots the book under the blue hooves and yanks it out hard enough to dump Rainbow backwards. The cover of this one is marked by a gold circle containing a horseshoe, and Yearling grins upon spotting this even as a loud crash marks Rainbow’s graceless touchdown. She ends up sprawled on the scramble of table and books near Twilight.)
(The book is set down in close-up, revealing symbols etched into the three gold bands of its binding. Yearling reaches into view and rotates each one in turn so that the symbols line up, and the horseshoe glows white in response; by turning it 90 degrees, she releases the three bands so that they swing loose. The book opens along its binding—a trick safe—and a large-diameter gold ring floats out, featureless and glowing warmly. Yearling picks it up and sighs with relief, holding it up to frame her face.)
Yearling: It’s safe.
(It is tucked away inside her cape as a dumbstruck Twilight and Rainbow look on; next she starts to put the discarded volumes back on the desk.)
Rainbow: (to Twilight) Great! Maybe now would be a good time for me to ask her how we can help move the new book along a little faster: Chop-chop!
(During this line, she crosses to the desk and nudges its typewriter not so subtly toward the author, who glares as the blue front hooves tap together. Now Twilight steps up behind her friend.)
Twilight: Rainbow Dash!
(She gets her horn warmed up and steps back o.s. as its aura wraps around a suddenly surprised Rainbow.)
Twilight: (from o.s., dragging her away) A minute, please!
(Outside, the winged unicorn trots out and releases her magical hold, dumping Rainbow to the ground. Close-up of the pair.)
Twilight: A.K. Yearling has made it pretty clear that she wants to be left alone. We need to respect her wishes. (Pinkie pops up between them.)
Pinkie: (pointing up toward roof) You should tell that to those guys.
(On the end of this, zoom out to frame all six now out here; eyes turn in the direction she has indicated, and the camera pans/tilts up quickly to the roof. Three earth pony stallions are up here by an open window. One is dark gray with a scar across one of his light blue eyes, a red-brown mane, prominent eyebrows and sideburns, and a brown vest. A second is light gray with short black mane/tail, magenta/gray shirt collar and lapels with a white tie, and black sunglasses; his cutie mark is an explosion. The third is khaki with pronounced stubble; a short red scarf over dark gray lapels; short, dark brown mane/tail; brown eyes; dark gray fedora with white band; cutie mark of “!?” against a red-brown starburst. These last two are Withers and Biff, respectively. All three dive in through the window, one by one.)
(Inside, Yearling sets a loose board out of the way and straightens the broken mirror. The three new intruders’ reflections appear in the glass, but she just regards them incuriously and shows no more reaction when they step up to hem her in. She turns to face them, making no move for the longest time—and then the camera cuts to Biff just as her cape goes flying into his face. Vest—whose cutie mark now can be seen as a group of symbols often used in comic strips to stand for bad language—gets the cloche thrown into his. Just as quickly, the red-framed glasses are thrown at Withers, landing on his nose and knocking off his eyewear. His eyes are revealed as being green.)
(In extreme close-up, two orange-brown hooves step forward across the floorboards. Zoom out to frame their owner in full—green bush shirt, pith helmet tilted forward over the face, six-tone gray/black mane and tail, compass-rose cutie mark, gold ring hooked over one spread wing. The helmet is flipped back to reveal the face of Daring, whose red-violet eyes and sour expression tell just how little she thinks of all this unwelcome company. She drops into a fighting crouch, showing that like her literary counterpart, both wings are whole and healthy. Cut to just inside the window, where Twilight and Rainbow are watching, and zoom in. They turn to each other, their minds blown.)
Twilight, Rainbow: A.K. Yearling is Daring Do!
(They look in again before the view snaps to black.)
Act Two
(Opening shot: fade in to the showdown in the cottage. Biff tries to sneak a little closer, toward the ring Daring is holding, but a glare back at him stops that idea.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) A.K. Yearling and Daring Do are one and the same! (The window; she smiles hugely.) My mind is officially blown! (Rainbow gives her a nudge.)
Rainbow: Ah, come on. I knew it all along.
(The bookworm rolls her eyes as if to say, “Who are you kidding?” However, the exchange goes no further, as Daring backs up into view with ring in teeth; Vest clamps his around it as well. The tug-of-war lasts only a fraction of a second before she lets go, socks him in the chest, and delivers a backflip kick that sends him reeling. The ring goes flying across the room, and all six Ponyville mares gather at the window as she dives across to catch it.)
Applejack: Amazin’!
(Withers—now wearing his own sunglasses again—grabs Daring’s tail in his teeth, but she bucks him away and flies off.)
Rarity: Incredible!
(The adventurer slides backwards to a stop, faced down by Biff and Vest; the latter leaps at her only to get bucked out of the building. Biff throws himself at her, leading to a lively brawl that is soon joined by Withers, and the ring is thrown up onto a ceiling light fixture. This whirls about its pivot and pitches the artifact neatly into the fireplace. All three robbers stop their assault and nervously gather around the hearth as the metal goes red-hot from the flames licking at it. Biff nudges Vest impatiently, but before the thug can even bend his neck down, the end of a bullwhip lashes into view and snags the ring. The handle is in Daring’s teeth; a flick of her head sends the item across the room, where it bangs into a beverage pitcher on a table and lands next to it. The vessel overturns, spilling its contents onto the ring and cooling it down.)
Pinkie: Wow! So much action!
(Daring launches herself toward it, the three stallions close behind, and doubles back with ring in teeth.)
Pinkie: Whee!
(Now she backs up toward the stairs, also carrying a chair to fend off the trio.)
Rainbow: Daring Do!
(The sound of her own name breaks Daring’s concentration and gives her adversaries the opening they need to rush her all at once. She spits the ring out; it tumbles over to the steps leading in from the front door, and a khaki hoof tinged with gray descends to pin it in place. As the sounds of the free-for-all die away, the camera slowly tilts up to frame this new arrival. Earth pony stallion with green eyes; a slicked-back, dark gray mane with a streak of lighter gray, heavy stubble, prominent eyebrows, and a cutie mark of a gold skull with a gem inserted in one of its eyesockets. He wears an off-white shirt with sleeves rolled up and a reddish-brown ascot with white polka dots. This is Dr. Caballeron, who lifts the ring on a foreleg and twirls it idly. He speaks with a pronounced South American accent and a tone of mocking gentility.)
Caballeron: Many thanks, Daring Do. As you’ve probably surmised, our earlier search for this treasure was unsuccessful. (The others have Daring pinned down; she has lost her helmet.) So kind of you to find it for us.
(She breaks loose and tries to stand, only for one foreleg to give out and drop her again.)
Daring: Give it back, Caballeron!
(Now, for the first time since the ponies entered the forest, the sky can be clearly seen—the same odd shade of daytime green from Rainbow’s vision of the next book in the prologue.)
Caballeron: (offended) That’s Dr. Caballeron to you. (The window; Rainbow clutches excitedly at an irked Twilight.)
Rainbow: He’s from Book Four. Daring Do and the Razor of Dreams. He wanted to partner with Daring Do on her adventures.
Twilight: (animatedly) I know, but she refused! I can’t believe it. The real Daring Do, and the real Caballeron! (Daring stands up, with effort, to address Caballeron.)
Daring: So let me guess. Ahuizotl has put you up to this. You’re stealing the ring to give to him, so his hold on the fortress of Talacon will be good for eight centuries as foretold by prophecy! (Caballeron steps a little closer on the end of this.)
Caballeron: Close! But, no. (turning away, holding up ring) I’m going to sell this to him, make a bundle— (Cut to the six visitors; he continues o.s.) —and retire from archaeology in splendor.
(The turn exposes his tail for the first time—cut short, styled similarly to his mane and with the same two-tone gray coloration. At the scene, Daring’s leg crumples under her again; Biff and Withers grab hold to both support her and hold her back.)
Daring: Caballeron, you fool! (He flips the relic up to settle around his neck.) You’re dooming the valley to eight centuries of unrelenting heat!
Caballeron: (trotting out) To market, hench-ponies!
(They dump her on the floor and set out after him. She stands again; grunting and wincing as the bad leg refuses to play nice, she starts to limp across the room. Close-up of Fluttershy.)
Fluttershy: Uh, should we go in and help her, maybe? (Zoom out to frame the whole group.)
All others: Oh! Right.
(Back to Daring, who is tying a splint onto the limb. Rainbow is the first one in; cut to a close-up. She gasps upon seeing the injury and holds out a foreleg to help Daring up.)
Rainbow: Are you okay?
Daring: (from o.s., slapping it aside) I got this. (The others pop up behind Rainbow.)
Fluttershy: Um, she was just trying to help, Miss Do.
(Back to the injured pegasus on the end of this. The lost helmet is set back in place at last, its brim framing two eyes set in a hard squint.)
Daring: Daring Do doesn’t need help. (limping past them) She handles her business herself.
(And she ignores the worried looks coming her way. Cut to the exterior of the cottage as she flaps out the front doorway and lifts off; some moments later, Rainbow flies out as well, but stops just past the threshold to address herself inside.)
Rainbow: We gotta go help! (The others step out.)
Twilight: You heard her! She says she works alone!
(The camera pans slightly to focus on each speaker during the following exchange, the others’ heads turning as if watching a tennis match.)
Rainbow: How can we just stand by and do nothing? You know what’s at stake here. (touching down) Ahuizotl has sought control of the Tenochtitlan Basin since Book Three!
Twilight: True. But in Book Four, she defeated Ahuizotl and secured control of the Amulet of Atonement, dispelling the dark magic of the Quetzalcoatl Empress, and thus protecting the Basin with the Radiant Shield of Rasdon.
Rainbow: But the Radiant Shield of Rasdon is vulnerable to the dark enchantment of the Rings of Scorchero!
Twilight: But are you forgetting that the Rings were scattered to the four corners of Tenochtitlan, thus rendering the dark enchantment powerless?
Rainbow: Only if you assume that the Rings have yet to be retrieved, and the ring Caballeron just stole isn’t the last to completely restore the Dark Tower and its cruel hold on Tenochtitlan! Did you ever think of that?
Pinkie: (to Twilight) You got to admit, Rainbow Dash makes a pretty good point. (Rainbow hovers over the group.)
Rainbow: We gotta help Daring Do retrieve the ring for safekeeping before it’s too late! (Close-up of Twilight.)
Twilight: (sighing heavily) Okay. But sounds to me like we’re in waaay, way, way over our heads. We’re going to need a carefully thought-out plan.
(Her cogitation is cut short by the sound of Rainbow’s sudden departure; cut to her on the start of the next line.)
Rainbow: I’m coming, Daring Do!
Twilight: (calling after her) That’s not a plan!
(Dissolve to an overhead shot of the reckless pegasus on the move over the forest.)
Rainbow: (looking around) Come on, come on, come on…
(She brings herself up short; cut to her perspective of Daring sneaking out from behind a bush. The latter’s bum leg is healed up.)
Rainbow: Bingo! (Back to her, diving in.) Here I come, Daring Do— (steadily getting more worked up) —to join an adventure with the greatest, bravest, coolest, most incredible hero I could ever…
(A sudden attack of nerves causes her to slam on the brakes and hitch in a breath.)
Rainbow: Okay, maybe I just need a sec. (She drops to ground level and trots after Daring, regaining her composure.) Just another adventure. No big deal.
(Another sudden stop; now she smacks herself across the face.)
Rainbow: Get a grip! (jumping ahead) I got this. (Nerves hit; she backs up.) Though doing it alongside Daring Do… (grinning hugely, jumping around) …wow! Maybe I could get my picture taken with her, or an autograph—
(She gives herself another belt in the kisser to snap herself out of it and touches down.)
Rainbow: There you go again. (trotting ahead) She’s just a pony like any other pony. (Confident smile, but the giddiness starts to leak through.) A pony who stops entire armies of bad guys with nothing more than her bare hooves, and an attitude, and—
(On the mention of “bare hooves,” she stops and eyes her own; the cutoff is accompanied by a third pop in the chops. This one leaves a welt on her cheek.)
Rainbow: Ow! (rubbing it) Heh. That’s starting to hurt.
(But probably not as much as getting jumped by Daring, who slams her helmet down on the multicolored mane to blind her. The two pegasi tumble and bounce across the grass; soon Daring pins Rainbow down, and the camera cuts to the former as she stands up.)
Rainbow: (from o.s.) Ow!
(Longer shot; the weather pony, now sitting on her haunches, yanks the helmet off her head.)
Rainbow: Stop! (She holds it out.)
Daring: Oh. (disgustedly) It’s just you. (Helmet goes back on; she turns to leave, but Rainbow stands up.)
Rainbow: Wait! Don’t go!
(After a moment’s pause, the winged archaeologist decides to ignore this entreaty and stalks away. Rainbow whirls around to have a quick conference with herself.)
Rainbow: Think fast. This is your big chance to impress her with your quick wit and courage.
(Daring is now moving ahead in a crouch, inspecting the ground for tracks or marks, and takes cover briefly behind a tree. Following a quick peek around it, she ducks away and moves out again, only to be brought up short by the sudden emergence of Rainbow from the underbrush.)
Rainbow: (nervously) I am suuuuuch a huge fan.
(She adds a long chuckle to finish the thought, but Daring—now standing upright—just utters an irritated sigh and starts ahead without a word. A few steps later, the overeager fan bounces up in her way.)
Rainbow: Wait, wait, wait! (grabbing her shirt) Let me help you! (She catches herself, then brushes Daring off and straightens her helmet.) I promise I can be a huge, huge help if you just give me a chance.
(Cut to a close-up of the fed-up adventurer’s face and zoom in by steps on the second and third of the following words. The red-violet eyes steadily narrow to a glare of naked hostility.)
Daring: I—work—alone. (She walks past Rainbow, who drops onto her hocks.)
Rainbow: But why won’t you let me team up with you— (crawling after her) —just this once?
Daring: My work always involves secrets. (Rainbow stands up.) And since you never know who you can trust, it’s best never to trust anypony.
Rainbow: (hurrying to catch up) But just because you can’t trust some doesn’t mean nopony can be trusted.
Daring: Look, I don’t have time to argue—
Rainbow: Neither do I. (zooming ahead and o.s.) Let’s go!
(The wake of her headlong flight nearly drags Daring’s helmet off her head.)
Daring: (sighing disgustedly, under her breath) I can’t believe I’m even talking to her.
(She trudges off. Dissolve to a stretch of star-filled night sky and tilt down to ground level, the camera ending up behind some bushes. Through an opening, Caballeron and his three goons can be seen at a campsite set up in a clearing. Rainbow and Daring ease up and pull the leaves aside for a better look, exposing the hay bales on which the four stallions are chowing down.)
Rainbow: Looks like they decided to have an early dinner before making their way back down the hill to the marketplace in town.
(Daring turns away from her on the end of this, then scoops up a hoof-load of mud and smears it liberally over her cheeks.)
Rainbow: Oh, I see! You’re gonna ambush them like you did in Book Four at the Haravian caves!
(During this line, the traveler pulls her helmet off and the camera cuts to a close-up as it is set down and mashed under a hoof.)
Rainbow: (hovering excitedly) Or maybe that neat trick you did in Book Three— (swinging at air) —where you swoop in and knock three guys down with one swing! Or maybe—
(Daring straightens up and gives her a “shut it” glare; she swiftly does so.)
Rainbow: (whispering) Okay. I’ll be quiet now. Just watching very quietly. Heh. Shh.
(Daring moves off; she touches down and glances over to the intrepid pegasus, who has ducked down so that her head is just o.s.)
Rainbow: So what kind of ambush are you gonna use, then?
(Up comes the vexed orange-brown face—now disguised with a layer of grass and leaves stuck on the mud to resemble a beard, and topped by the flattened helmet. Without turning back toward Rainbow, she holds up a bulging bag of coins.)
Rainbow: (awestruck) Wow!
(The camera shifts to ground level, framing Caballeron and company at their dinner. Daring’s front hooves plant themselves in the foreground as the bag drops between them, bringing the meal to an abrupt halt as they gather to make sure they are not dreaming. She affects a British accent for the following line.)
Daring: I have been led to believe you have in your possession an item of significant importance— (Caballeron zips over to her.) —that might be— (Here come the others.) —for sale.
Caballeron: Oh! Uh…well…I did have another buyer lined up— (holding up the stolen ring) —but he’s not here, so— (extending it to her) —sounds like we have a deal.
(The transaction is rudely interrupted by a rising, reverberating growl of fury that sends the three hench-ponies bugging out and makes Caballeron cower in fear. Next comes a forest-shaking tremor whose source quickly makes the scene—Ahuizotl, shoving trees aside to get at the campsite.)
Ahuizotl: CABALLERON!!
Daring: (to herself, normal voice) Ahuizotl!
Ahuizotl: (holding out tail hand) The ring!
(His treacherous business associate gasps in fright, lets it drop, and scoops up the cash before galloping for his life. Daring and Ahuizotl eye it, then each other; she is first to move, shedding her fake beard and mashed hat and locking her teeth onto the relic. Ahuizotl voices a frustrated roar and dives at her as Rainbow watches from the bushes.)
Rainbow: Be cool, Rainbow Dash…be cool…
(Easier said than done; she throws her forelegs over her eyes.)
Rainbow: She’s got this… (Daring backs up slowly before Ahuizotl’s slinking approach.)
Ahuizotl: The ring, Daring Do. Give it… (pounding ground; she leaps backward) …to me!
(She lands neatly and hooks it around a foreleg, all cockiness.)
Daring: Now, Ahuizotl… (slipping it around her neck) …you know I love you, but I can’t give you the ring ’til I’ve properly proposed.
(That crack earns an appreciative little smirk from her fan; meanwhile, Ahuizotl chuckles as he straightens up onto his haunches.)
Ahuizotl: Interesting, because my friends here have a proposal of their own.
(A finger snap from his tail hand brings out a familiar quartet of big cats—lynx, tiger, panther, leopard: four of the five heavies he sent after her in “Read It and Weep.” As they make their displeasure very clear, the white kitten who was also in on the fun emerges and yowls with arched back, swiping a set of claws at the air. Rainbow sweats buckets from her hidden front-row seat…Daring slowly backs up to face down the five toughs…and the camera suddenly zooms into an extreme close-up of her face, the light picking out her narrowed eyes.)
Daring: Bring it!
(First up is the panther, whose charge is met by an uppercut that sends it flying backwards to hit the deck headfirst. She has barely come down from the strike before the tiger lunges in; jumping over its attempt to grab her, she stomps it in the head and pushes off to launch a flying kick. The leopard takes this one in the mush, and she comes down to mix it up with the lynx; the kitten just stands and watches. Close-up of Rainbow.)
Rainbow: (fearfully) Come on, Daring Do! (pounding front hooves on ground) Come on!
(The sounds of the fight stop suddenly; she stands and her gaze on something ahead of herself, and the camera zooms out to frame Daring’s helmet lying on the ground. It is back to its normal, un-mangled state. Cut to the free-for-all, in which the hatless globetrotter is easily holding her own.)
Rainbow: (from o.s.) Daring Do! I’ve got your hat! (Cut to her, holding it up.) You want me to toss it? (No response.) Daring Do! (Zoom out to a long shot.) Daring Do!
(Ahuizotl, in the fore, takes note of her presence. Cut to Daring, still swatting away her attackers; she stops at the sound of Rainbow’s cry, and the yelling blue flyer is held aloft by the villain’s tail hand. Daring freezes in her tracks, giving the four big cats plenty of time to hit her broadside; one angry kitten with a black eye charges in after them to get her own piece of the action. By the time the dust clears, Daring is securely trussed up from neck to rear hooves and grunting against her bonds. The tiger hoists her up in its teeth while Ahuizotl crosses the clearing to the cats.)
Rainbow: Don’t worry, Daring Do! I’ll come help you! (She is flung backward o.s.) Whoa!
(Cut to her, landing the wrong way in the bushes with a grunt, then to Daring.)
Daring: Don’t bother!
(The group moves out, heading toward a temple either identical or very similar to the one Rainbow envisioned in the prologue—the fortress of Talacon.)
Daring: (viciously) I’d say you’ve already helped plenty!
(The overly ardent reader peeks after them.)
Rainbow: (crushed) What have I done?
(Zoom in slowly and snap to black.)
Act Three
(Opening shot: fade in to a close-up of Rainbow, still way down in the dumps, ad cut to a longer shot. She sits listlessly on her haunches in a small clearing as the others gallop to her; Rarity gasps. The sky has gone lurid green again, indicating that it is the following day.)
Rarity: Thank goodness you’re all right!
Twilight: Quick! Where does it hurt?
Rainbow: (hooves to chest) In here. Daring Do and the ring have been captured by the dreaded Ahuizotl, and it’s all my fault. (She slumps down; others gasp in shock.)
Twilight: Dash, I’m sure whatever you did was an honest mistake.
Rainbow: Whatever. (standing, walking off) Let’s just go home.
Applejack: We can’t go back now! Looks a mite like she needs our help more than ever! (Rainbow stops.)
Rainbow: Trying to help is how I got in this mess in the first place. (walking on) You were right, Twilight. We shoulda stayed out of this. (Twilight catches up to her.)
Twilight: Look. There is more going on here than meets the eye. In every Daring Do book, there always is. We can’t turn our backs on her.
Rainbow: She doesn’t want my help, Twilight.
Twilight: (smiling shrewdly) Perhaps, but she might need it anyway.
Rainbow: No. My hero’s way better off without me.
(Now Applejack zips over to cut them both off and nudge her in the chest.)
Applejack: This don’t sound like you. (Here comes Pinkie.)
Pinkie: (hugging Rainbow) Where’s the Rainbow Dash who would help anypony at the drop of a hat? (Rarity joins in.)
Rarity: Or a pith helmet, as the case may be?
Rainbow: (grumpily, pushing Pinkie off) She’s here where she’s got no business being. (walking off) She should be at home. (Fluttershy aims a worried look after her.)
Twilight: It’s fine to look up to Daring Do, but you’ve put her so high up on a pedestal— (Rainbow stops.) —you can’t even see your own worth anymore! She’s in the fortress, and we’re here. And we wouldn’t be who we are if we didn’t go in after her.
(Cut to the heartbroken pegasus, who turns her face away.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) And neither would you. (Long shot of the group; she steps toward Rainbow.) So, are you with us or not?
(The drooping blue head comes up slightly and swivels back so two uncertain red-violet eyes can gaze back toward the others. Zoom in to a close-up of her face, then dissolve to a long shot of all six on the move toward a set of natural terraces. Pan along their length to frame the upper reaches of the fortress where Daring was taken, then tilt down along its height into complete blackness. As the tilt continues, the view lightens into a tall chamber whose open ceiling allows a broad view of the sky. Spiked posts stand in all four corners, and a doorway and ledge are set into the wall a few feet down from the ceiling. At a still lower height is Daring, her back against an adjoining wall and her hooves clamped down to hold her in a spreadeagle position. A large circular port is set at this height directly underneath the doorway. The room contains a depth of water, and a brief cut to within it clearly picks out the vicious-looking toothed fish swimming lazily around in it. Daring boggles at the sight before the view cuts back to her.)
Daring: (struggling against clamps) Surrender now, Ahuizotl, or I’ll be forced to take you down! (He steps to the doorway and laughs exultantly.)
Ahuizotl: (holding up ring) Oh, Daring Do, I will so miss your amusing laughter jokes. Now, I must leave to commence the ring-placing ceremony— (lifting it; tilt up to ceiling and blazing sun) —to unleash eight hundred years of unrelenting, sweltering heat!
(The captive grimaces mightily at this announcement; now Ahuizotl pulls a nearby rope and laughs madly. Water gushes into the room through the port underneath the doorway as he waves goodbye and clears out. The fish start jumping, but Daring keeps her cool and starts her muscles working on the clamps again. After a second or two, the stone to which one hind leg is attached comes loose, dragging the limb toward the rising water and those very hungry fish. Now properly scared, she pulls again and gets her other hind leg free in the same way; a foreleg is next, leaving her full weight and that of the three blocks dangling from the other one. A heave, a grind of stone sliding on stone as sweat pours down the orange-brown face, and she drops away from the wall. Her wings cannot provide enough lift to keep her from sinking toward the water; before she can become fish bait, though, Rainbow swoops across to hoist her out.)
Rainbow: Gotcha!
(She pumps her wings like mad to haul up pegasus and masonry, not helped a bit by the fact that Daring is too stunned to use her own.)
Rainbow: You can flap too, you know!
(She finally does, adding enough lift to allow Rainbow to set her on the ledge, and stomps a bit to break one block and throw off its clamp.)
Daring: (very snarky) I was just about to save myself, you know. (She crushes the other three.)
Rainbow: Of course. I just thought you might need this.
(On this last word, the camera cuts to a close-up of the missing helmet being slid over to stop in front of Daring’ s hooves. Tilt up to her face, which shifts from annoyance to mild puzzlement and back as she picks it up.)
Daring: (putting it on) Have I mentioned yet that I work alone? (Rainbow sidles over to her with a smirk.)
Rainbow: Have I mentioned yet that you’re lucky I don’t?
(Daring rolls her eyes with a weary sigh and forces a small grin onto her face, and she gallops away from the intended deathtrap with Rainbow flying close behind. The two round a corner into a different passage; dissolve to the sun at full brightness in the sullen forest sky. Ahuizotl lifts his head and forelimbs into view, extending them toward the blinding orb, and two sets of hooves raise the ring to frame it as well. Cut to a longer shot of the area: a long chamber with an altar at one end, on which he is standing under a skylight. Stallions line both sides of the central aisle leading to this; they are dressed in Central American tribal garb and face paint and are armed with spears, whose shafts they are pounding against the floor. In front of Ahuizotl is a stone spindle inscribed with runes and supporting a tower of gold rings whose diameters steadily decrease from bottom to top. These are the Rings of Scorchero; the last, smallest one is being held up by two stallions who are balancing partway up the tower on opposite sides. Cut to the head of the aisle and pan quickly to an entrance at the opposite end; Rainbow’s five friends poke their heads in around the frame. Cut to Ahuizotl, laughing wildly.)
Applejack: (from o.s.) Drop the ring, Ahui…
(Zoom out to frame her in the fore on the end of this, then cut to the five now inside.)
Applejack: …whatever your name is!
(There follows a massed charge straight down the aisle; Ahuizotl grunts in surprise.)
Ahuizotl: (to his two assistants) Place the ring, quickly!
(Here comes Pinkie, doing a high-speed version of her normal hopping until she gets close enough to the altar to take it in one leap. She ends up on top of the spindle, knocking the ring-holders away and letting the item drop around her neck and work its way down to her midsection. After a quick bit of loop-de-hooping, she shucks it back along her body length and lets it fly off her hind legs; a quick jump off the spindle puts her out of reach of Ahuizotl’s tail hand.)
Ahuizotl: Take it!
(Pinkie’s flip sends the ring over to Applejack, who bucks it away and dives aside to let two of the enemies ram each other head-on. She catches it in her teeth, but only gets a few steps before a thrown spear trips her up; the ring clatters to the floor and is picked up by a goon once the spear has been removed. An expert throw sends it toward Ahuizotl’s outstretched hand, but Fluttershy inserts herself in its path and ends up holding the booty. She flies frantically across the chamber, Ahuizotl gaining ground all the time, and lets it drop onto Twilight’s horn as she gallops in the opposite direction. The winged unicorn skids to a stop, fires up her horn, and teleports away to achieve the same result as Applejack’s dive.)
(Reappearing at a side entrance, she gets her hooves moving as two other toughs charge after her. Rainbow and Daring peek out from here and survey the brawl.)
Daring: Come with me!
(Near the spindle, Twilight flips the ring up for a mouth-catch by Applejack; both drop out of sight just before the two pegasi put their heads out from behind the stack. Close-up of Daring.)
Daring: Help me get all these rings off!
(Pan to Rainbow; she gets her hooves under the first few and begins to hoist them with some effort, assisted by the o.s. Daring. Up above, the top ring sails toward Fluttershy but is intercepted by an upward spear thrust. It slides down toward the stallion holding the weapon, but Applejack kicks the shaft out of his grip and again gets the ring in her mouth, earning an angry glower. At the altar, several rings have been flung off, but the remaining ones are large enough that Rainbow and Daring must lift and throw them off one at a time. The following exchange is delivered with some effort on both parts.)
Daring: If we can remove the giant ring at the bottom, the whole fortress will collapse! (They start to haul it up—the only one left.)
Rainbow: Was this your plan all along?
Daring: I had to find a way to get into the fortress.
Rainbow: You did it on purpose? But…but I thought—
Daring: Didn’t count on how heavy this ring would be, though. Guess having a little help can be handy sometimes.
(The blue face breaks into a grateful smile. Meanwhile, the top ring rolls across the floor toward Pinkie, but a stallion hip-checks her out of the way and flicks it to one side. It sails over spears and enemy/friendly hooves alike and finally comes to a stop—in the grip of Ahuizotl’s tail hand. He lifts it with a laugh of crazed triumph, paying no mind to the rumbling that has started up. The rest of the ponies, however, notice it in short order and stop tussling over the scattered rings with a round of very scared glances. Bits of crumbling stone rain down around Rainbow and Daring as they ever so slowly raise the bottom ring toward the spindle’s peak. Once Ahuizotl finally turns his attention toward the pair, he aims one emphatically pointed finger their way.)
Ahuizotl: STOOOP HEEERRR!!
(Three of his minions close in on the altar; cut to Daring as their spears poke up toward her; she grunts and parries one with a hind leg.)
Daring: You could flap too, you know!
(Having her own words thrown back at her sparks Rainbow to throw her wings into overdrive, and soon they have the ring almost at the top.)
Rainbow: Ponies! Run! This place is going down!
(Exeunt all others, post-haste. The great ring is finally hoisted up and off the spindle, which cracks and disintegrates into sparkling dust, and the pair airlift it out through the skylight. Ahuizotl makes one last desperate grab up through the boiling dust, but gets only a handful of air before falling back into the murk. Cut to the bottom of the stairs leading up from the base of the fortress and zoom out to frame all of the structure as the seven mares race/fly to safety. The entire structure crumbles to pieces behind them, throwing up clouds of dust that fill the screen.)
(The view clears to a pan across the brand-new rubble, from which various servants begin to emerge dazedly, and stops at the point where Ahuizotl’s tail hand breaks through to daylight.)
Ahuizotl: (from below) DARING DO!! (He climbs up.) I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!
(The bottom ring is flung down, shattering to bits on the ground, and Daring gives Rainbow a genuine smile for the first time. Instead of the previous greenish tint, the sky now shows the pinks and golds of sunset.)
Daring: Could never have done this without you, Rainbow Dash.
(She holds out a hoof to shake, but gets an enthusiastic hug instead and returns a smile and a little nuzzle. When Rainbow shows no signs of releasing her hold after some seconds, the explorer gently extricates herself.)
Daring: (laughing a bit) I’ve got a book to finish!
(She flies off, Rainbow waving goodbye.)
Rainbow: (voice over, dictating) “Just had the coolest adventure with the coolest pony ever!” (She flies down to her waiting friends.) “Came this close to blowing it because I got so wrapped up in how awesome she was—” (They gather in for a group hug.) “—I almost forgot about how awesome I was.”
(Dissolve to her, hovering in front of an open book on a stand and writing in it with a pencil in her teeth. This, then, would be the journal that Twilight proposed they start keeping at the end of “Castle Mane-ia.” The covers are purple; the back one displays the six-pointed star jewel that had been set in the tiara Twilight received when she was crowned. On the front is an upward-pointing horseshoe, with a smaller copy of the jewel nestled in its crook and some smaller spots of different colors along its length.)
Rainbow: (voice over) “Good thing I didn’t, ’cause it gave me a chance to show how important it is to put your trust in somepony else.”
(A knocking disrupts her concentration; she looks off in its direction, and the camera cuts to a pair of closed double doors flanked by Greek-style columns. A statue of a Wonderbolt in flight stands on a nearby pedestal. Rainbow flies over to the doors—this is the front entrance of her cloud house—and one of them opens to reveal a mail-carrier pegasus stallion on the step.)
Mail carrier: (pulling a box from his saddlebags) Package from A.K. Yearling.
Rainbow: (instantly excited) Sweet! The new book a week before anypony else gets it!
(One quick snatch, and she has the box and is hunched down to the floor, eagerly shredding the paper wrapping. Up she comes with a gasp that pulls in enough air to inflate a small blimp.)
Rainbow: (flying all around, holding book) Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!
(Cut to a close-up of its front cover: Rainbow and Daring fleeing from the fortress, a brilliant spot of light shining from its pinnacle, to stay ahead of a swarm of bats. Daring, front and center, is in her usual outfit, while Rainbow wears a baseball cap and satchel—she has evidently been written into the story. The night sky above adventurer and sidekick is a lurid shade of red and marked by Ahuizotl’s narrowed eyes. The title can be made out easily enough: Daring Do and the Ring of Destiny. Zoom in slowly and “iris out” to black.)
FLIGHT TO THE FINISH
Written by Ed Valentine
Produced by Sarah Wall, Devon Cody
Story editing by Meghan McCarthy
Supervising direction by Jayson Thiessen
Co-directed by Jim Miller
Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)
Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to the exterior of the Ponyville schoolhouse during the day. Zoom in slowly and dissolve to the classroom, with Cheerilee standing at the front to address her students. The blackboard behind her depicts several trios of stick-figure ponies; one member of each group holds a flag.)
Cheerilee: Today, we have two special guests with a very special announcement. Everypony, welcome the head of the Equestria Games, Ms. Harshwhinny!
(The door is heard opening; pan quickly to it, where the inspector who got run ragged in “Games Ponies Play” has just entered. Same outfit, same mane, same dour expression, same everything. Except for the sound of the door closing, the room remains dead silent as she walks over to Cheerilee, who quickly backs out of her way. Ms. Harshwhinny—Ms. H for short—addresses the foals with the same chronically dissatisfied tone she used against the Ponyville contingent when they tried to win the Games for the Crystal Empire.)
Ms. H: Thank you. Now, I’m sure you all know about the Equestria Games, where ponies from all over the land compete for glory in various athletic pursuits?
(Cut to the Cutie Mark Crusaders at their desks on the end of this; a slightly puzzled glance passes among the trio.)
Ms. H: Well… (chuckling dryly, smiling) …now you littlest ones will have the chance to compete for a weighty responsibility of your very own.
Rainbow Dash: (from o.s., distant) Oh, come on! (Her eyes pop.) Tell ’em the fun part!
(Here comes the daredevil, flying in through an open window at the back of the room and doing a midair somersault to elicit awed murmurs from the foals. She lands next to Ms. H and drinks in their adulation; the earth pony is not amused.)
Rainbow: That’s right! (hovering, buzzing wings) All you gotta do is show Ms. Harshwhinny the coolest, most spectacular, most rockin’ routine— (landing) —and you’re going to the Games! So who’s gonna be the lucky ponies?
(Pan quickly to Diamond Tiara at her desk.)
Diamond: It’s gotta be me! (To another filly.)
Filly: Maybe it’s me! (To the Crusaders.)
Scootaloo: (to Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle) Maybe it’s us!
Snips, Snails: (from o.s.) Maybe it’s us!
(All three pairs of eyes turn toward their voices; cut to the two colts. Snips is standing on his hind legs atop his desk, holding his front hooves up for Snails to balance two of his own hooves on them—one front, one rear. The strain soon proves too much for the blue-green colt, and he topples backward off his desk. The two end up sprawled in the aisle, Snails on top of Snips, and soon find themselves on the receiving end of a lot of dirty looks. Long pause.)
Snips: Hey! It could happen!
(His buddy stitches on a placating grin that utterly fails to win over any students. Fade to black.)
OPENING THEME
Act One
(Opening shot: fade in to the exterior of the schoolhouse and zoom in slowly.)
Rainbow: (from inside) So, the winning team gets to carry the Ponyville flag at the Equestria Games!
(Cut to her and Ms. H inside; she hovers energetically, the camera following her upward.)
Rainbow: Oh, you are gonna love this!
Ms. H: (now o.s., sternly) Ms. Dash! (Rainbow drops back down to the floor alongside her.) Will you please curb your over-enthusiastic outbursts? (crossing to blackboard) Now, then, let me be clear on the rules. (pointing to it) You ponies will form teams.
(Close-up of the chalked threesome she has indicated.)
Ms. H: (from o.s.) Each team will create their own flag-carrying routine. Everypony will be judged on grace, style, and originality.
(The camera pans quickly to a different spot on the board as she lists each criterion and points it out. “Grace”: a soaring pegasus filly. “Style”: a better-than-average rendition of Rarity’s head. “Originality”: an earth pony filly juggling lobsters while balancing on one hind leg atop a beach ball. The next cut frames her now at the other end of the board.)
Ms. H: There’s a most complicated scoring system— (reaching upward) —which I will elaborate upon now. (She pulls down the end of a roll-up chart.) Firstly—
(Rainbow rockets into her face, causing her to let go so that the chart snaps back up.)
Rainbow: Ah, get to the nitty-gritty later. Tell ’em the important stuff, like who’s the coach!
(She drops o.s., then reappears an instant later wearing a baseball cap and a whistle on a lanyard around her neck. A blast on this goes directly into Ms. H’s increasingly fed-up face. Rainbow will wear these two items until further notice.)
Rainbow: That’s right! Me! And you know why I’m qualified to coach you?
(Cut to the wondering Crusaders on the second half of this line, then back to her.)
Rainbow: Guess who carried the Cloudsdale flag in the Games when she was a little filly. (hovering above class) Me! I’ll never forget it. I burst into the stadium, spreading my wings, the flag flapping in the breeze.
(Cut to Scootaloo, her eyes growing wider as she hangs on every word of the tale, and zoom in slowly.)
Rainbow: (from o.s.) I did tricks with that flag, the likes of which nopony saw before—
(A blink, and each pupil shows a reflection of a waving pennant that displays the silhouettes of two rearing mares, with a pink heart between them.)
Rainbow: (from o.s.) —and nopony’s seen since!
(Cut back to Rainbow, who has procured this particular item and is whirling it about herself with great gusto. Before she can put an eye out, a foreleg clad in a purple blazer sleeve reaches up to grab the pole and yank both it and her back down to earth. Rainbow ends up on the floor, and Ms. H throws the pennant down.)
Ms. H: (levelly) Professionalism, Ms. Dash, I must insist. If you want to keep your job as coach of these ponies, you must maintain a professional attitude and keep your emotions in check! (She leans hard into the frightened flyer’s face.) Am I making myself absolutely, one hundred percent crystal clear?
(Only after she backs up with an incensed huff does Rainbow dare to get her legs under her.)
Rainbow: Yes, Ms. Harshwhinny. You know, Professionalism is my middle name. Rainbow Professionalism Dash.
Ms. H: Hmph! Well, in three days’ time, Ms. Dash will accompany anypony competing to the Crystal Empire— (Cut to a slow pan across the students; she continues o.s.) —where you will demonstrate your routines for me and the other judges— (Back to her.) —who will judge you very professionally.
(These last two words are delivered with a sidewise one-eyed squint in Rainbow’s direction. Zoom out quickly to frame the coach, who clears her throat.)
Rainbow: Yes. Quite, quite correct. (hovering/whirling to face class, with energy) In the meantime, get ready to train, and train hard! (Land; zoom in slowly.) Because I know this opening ceremony is the single most important thing— (Cut to Scootaloo, whose smile broadens as she continues o.s.) —that will ever happen in your young lives!
(Back to the blue aerialist.)
Rainbow: But I know you’re up for the challenge, and so am I! (starting a backflip; the schoolroom door is now open) Woo-h—
(Finding herself on the receiving end of a glare icy enough to freeze a geyser solid, she stops herself in midair and carefully sets herself down upright. Her composure back in place, she clears her throat again.)
Rainbow: Meet me after school tomorrow at fifteen hundred hours— (Cut to the Crusaders; she continues o.s.) —sharp. And show me your flag-carrying skills.
(The three fillies trade a round of uncertain glances; back to the two guests. Rainbow gets ready to sprint out.)
Rainbow: I am outta here. (Stop short under Ms. H’s scowl.) Professionally. (trotting purposefully out the door) See how professionally?
(The veteran just rolls her eyes with a groan that might best be translated as, “How did I get stuck working with this clown?”)
Ms. H: Ponies, the most important thing is this. (Slow pan across the class; she continues o.s.) Your routine needs to show what your town means to you. So, do Ponyville proud. (Back to her.) Work hard, be bold…wow me. (walking out) That is all.
(The school bell rings—electric, not the one in the schoolhouse tower—and the camera cuts to the front walk as the doors burst open and students barrel out. Zoom in on the front step; the Crusaders gather here.)
Scootaloo: So what do you say we come up with the perfect routine and win this thing? (Close-up of her and Bloom.)
Bloom: I’d say that’s rootin’ tootin’ terrific!
Sweetie: (from o.s.) But there’s one problem. (Cut to her.) I bet everypony in class is planning to compete. (All three again.)
Scootaloo: Listen. Somepony in our class is gonna carry that flag, so it might as well be us. (stomping for emphasis) Crusaders, are you in or are you in? (rearing up) ’Cause I’m in! (She gallops off.)
Bloom: Me too! (Ditto.)
(It takes Sweetie a moment to break out of her happy reverie and hurry after them.)
Sweetie: Me three! (All slow to a walk.)
Scootaloo: All right. The winning routine needs to show what’s important about Ponyville, right?
Bloom, Sweetie: Right!
Scootaloo: So, what’s special about Ponyville?
(All stop; cut to her perspective of Bloom’s smiling face.)
Scootaloo: It’s… (Pan to Sweetie.) …it’s…
(Zoom in to an extreme close-up of the young unicorn’s horn, then cut back to the pegasus, who eyes her own wings wonderingly. An idea storms through her mind with enough force to start the two appendages buzzing furiously and get her hovering.)
Scootaloo: I’ve got it! (She touches down.) It’s a place where different kinds of ponies live together as friends.
Bloom: Earth ponies like me!
Sweetie: Unicorns like me!
Scootaloo: And pegasi like me! So somehow we gotta figure out a way to show that in our act.
Sweetie: We’re gonna need a plan.
Bloom: And a lotta hard work.
Scootaloo: And a whole bunch of practice. But take it from me. We may just be little ponies, but we have hearts as strong as horses!
Mandolin/acoustic guitar/bass melody backed with military drum figures
Lively 4 (G flat major)
(Ground level. The orange hooves march forward, yellow and white ones falling in to either side, and the camera tilts up to three determined young faces.)
Crusaders: We’re the toughest little ponies in town
(They shift positions, circling around one another.)
Got the moves, got the mojo, no harder-working ponies around
We are a trio, work as a team
(Tilt up into the sky and stop on the sun.)
We’ll be the first ponies out on the flag-waving scene
Drum accents for four bars before next verse, then flute in
(Dissolve to a ridge that overlooks Ponyville from a distance; the fillies gallop onto it. Zoom in slowly, then cut to them racing through Sweet Apple Acres at sunset, visible as silhouettes.)
Crusaders: We get going when the going gets tough
(Daytime; they haul mightily on a rope passing through all three sets of teeth. Its other end is in the mouth of the over-muscled Bulk Biceps, who stoically holds his ground.)
We know our very best is just never enough
(Inside the main barn at Sweet Apple Acres. Bloom and Scootaloo take turns bucking a heavy bag, which swings back toward Bloom and knocks her to her haunches. Her bow sags a bit over her sweating face.)
We’re kinda short, but so what? We don’t get defeated
(Sweetie brings over a bucket of water; Bloom eyes it, then declines the offer, bow perking up.)
We could take a little break, but we don’t need it
(Cut to a background whose vertical stripes, in two shades of light blue, stretch down across the floor. All three sets of hooves step up, one by one.)
Mandolin/flute/guitar out; strings in
Crusaders: We’ve got hearts as strong as horses
(Zoom out; each lighter stripe bears a bright pink heart and the shadow of a flag on a pole, and their shadows combine to form that of a full-grown stallion.)
We’ve got hearts as strong as horses
(Now they march against a rotating sunburst backdrop in the same two blue shades, with a pink heart at the center.)
We’ve got hearts as strong as horses
We’ve got hearts, hearts strong as horses
Mandolin/guitar in, with drum accents for four bars before next verse
(Cut to a profile close-up of the top of a flight of steps; Scootaloo struggles to drag herself up, then walks off once she gains the peak. The next shot is an extreme close-up of Bloom, her teeth clamped around a wooden bar that she is straining mightily to lift. A longer shot puts her outside the Sweet Apple Acres barn; the bar has an apple impaled on each end. Scootaloo and Sweetie are on hand, and once each chomps down most of the apple nearest her, the yellow filly can easily lift the impromptu barbell.)
Crusaders: When we put our minds together, we can achieve
(Close-up of Scootaloo against the heart/sunburst backdrop; Bloom and Sweetie pop up behind her.)
We’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and you should believe
(Now Sweetie and then Bloom advance past a line of waving heart-marked pennants on poles.)
We’ve got determination to represent the nation
(Scootaloo zooms up on her scooter, wearing crash helmet, foreleg knee pads, and goggles.)
For the win
(Off she goes; cut to the steps as she reaches the top with less difficulty than before. She is not wearing her safety gear.)
Crusaders: We’ve got hearts as strong as horses
(Outside the barn; in close-up, Bloom holds Scootaloo’s hind legs down as the latter hauls her upper body into view, doing sit-ups.)
We’ve got hearts as strong as horses
(Zoom out; Sweetie stands behind Scootaloo, pushing on her back to help her do the exercises.)
We’ve got hearts as strong as horses
(Now Scootaloo easily climbs the steps and jumps up past the top one; cut to behind her as she turns to look over Ponyville in the near distance.)
And we’re playing to win as we gallop to glory
(Longer profile; the flight she has been working out on only contains three steps, and her two cohorts eye her with puzzlement as she celebrates.)
We can conquer any challenge we’re in
(Another tug-of-war against Bulk, who panics at the approach of an unassuming butterfly and peels out, dropping his end of the rope. The fillies tumble to the grass, realize what has just happened, and have a good laugh.)
We’ve got hearts, hearts strong as horses
(All three march against the heart/sunburst backdrop.)
Drum accents in
Hearts strong as horses
(It dissolves quickly to a path through Sweet Apple Acres at sunset, and they trot determinedly around a corner and toward the horizon.)
Song ends with a four-beat drum cadence followed by a stinger
(Silhouetted against the sinking sun, the three leap into the air on the final note. Freeze frame and cut to a head-on view of them—the sky now showing the blue of day. The sound of hooves slowly clopping together brings them around to the fact that they have no visible means of support, shocking them greatly.)
Crusaders: Whoooaaa!
(Down they go, dropping o.s. and generating a camera-shaking thud and a triple grunt on impact. The clopping is coming from Diamond and Silver Spoon, who have taken up haunch-sitting positions on the path to deliver their mocking applause. They stand up after a few more claps and close in.)
Diamond: If that’s the best you’ve got, we’re going to win for sure. (They circle around the Crusaders.)
Silver: We already have the most divine routine planned.
Diamond: It’s absolutely sure to crush everyone else— (viciously, banging front hooves together) —and I mean crush!
Scootaloo: (singing, badly out of tune) But we’re winners!
And we have hearts—
(The two bullies move leisurely past them.)
Silver: Sure. But you know what you don’t have?
(Close-up of Sweetie’s unmarked haunch; a pink hoof and a gray one point at it.)
Diamond, Silver: (from o.s.) Your cutie marks! (Cut to the pair.) Blank flanks, blank flanks, blank flanks!
(Back to the Crusaders on the last repetition; mild vexation all around, and a weary eye roll on Sweetie’s part.)
Bloom: What does that have to do with flag carryin’?
Silver: Having cutie-mark-less ponies represent Ponyville would be unthinkable.
Diamond: And we, of course, already have our cutie marks.
(On the end of this, cut to a close-up of the two haunches being thumped together.)
Diamond: So we know who’s gonna be in the winners’ circle. (Scootaloo whisks over to point-blank range.)
Scootaloo: Listen, you two! Cutie marks or no cutie marks, you’ll see! (She backs up.) The Crusaders are gonna carry that flag at the Games! (They do a three-way high five.)
Silver: May the best ponies win! (Scootaloo and Diamond face each other down again.)
Scootaloo: Game on!
(Bloom and Sweetie fall in beside her to stare daggers at Silver. Zoom out from the five glowering/smirking faces and snap to black.)
Act Two
(Opening shot: fade in to a stage set up on the schoolhouse lawn and zoom in slowly. Rainbow stands in front of it, while Cheerilee and a few of her students are off to one side at the rear.)
Rainbow: Show me what you got, Cutie Mark Crusaders— (hovering, crossing forelegs) —and make it good. (Scootaloo looks out from behind the curtain.)
Scootaloo: Don’t worry! We will!
(She ducks away again. Pan from the stage and past Rainbow on the next line. Diamond and Silver are hunkered down behind a hedge at the fence bordering the lawn to do a little surveillance.)
Sweetie: (from behind curtain) Now, this is just a little something we threw together. It’s not perfect yet, not even close.
Diamond: Let’s watch the Cutie Mark Goof-saders do their sad little routine.
Silver: They’re gonna be a hot mess!
(Nasty little giggles from both snobs; back to the stage and zoom in slowly past Rainbow.)
Scootaloo: (from behind curtain, dramatically) Since the dawn of recorded time…
(The fabric is reeled back to expose cardboard-cutout scenery backdrops that depict grade-school renditions of an apple tree, farmland, mountains, clouds. The lighting is dim, and a platform is set up in front of the mountains. All of Scootaloo’s following lines that are marked as coming from backstage are amplified slightly.)
Scootaloo: (from backstage) …in one town of amazing amazing-ness…
(Bloom backs into view from stage right, a long green streamer fastened to each foreleg.)
Scootaloo: (from backstage) …three types of ponies coexist. (Spotlight on Bloom.)
Bloom: We are earth ponies!
(Sweetie bounds in from stage left, all the lights coming up; attached to her horn is a long violet streamer.)
Sweetie: We are unicorns!
(She jumps onto the platform; now Scootaloo straightens up into view from behind a cloud, waving a pair of long blue streamers tied to her wings.)
Scootaloo: We are pegasi!
(Down comes a new scenery flat to hide all three from view; this one depicts a rough drawing of a few Ponyville houses and apple trees under a sunny sky.)
Scootaloo: (from backstage) And the town where friendship reigns is our home! (Close-up of one spot; a light shines on it.) Now welcome to the stadium… (A paper-covered hoop is raised in yellow and white hooves.) …the flag of the place we love best…
(The paper rips apart as the speed-demon pegasus bursts through it from behind on her scooter, in helmet/pads and with wings going top speed. As soon as wheels touch boards, she does a tearing U-turn and zooms back across the stage. Attached to the rear end of her vehicle is a pole bearing a full-size flag with the same design as the pennant Rainbow waved during class—the Ponyville flag. A leap over the handlebars, and she is sliding into the spotlight on her hocks and raising her forelegs to either side; Bloom and Sweetie leap in and balance on these. Zoom out to frame the entire stage as the scooter rolls slowly past behind them, flag flying proudly. All three have shed their streamers in this sequence.)
Crusaders: PONYVILLE FOREVER! YAAAAY!
(Four flat containers, forming a square around them, erupt in a burst of confetti and streamers. Out on the lawn, Rainbow opens her mouth to speak but finds herself at a total loss for words; pan quickly to an equally dumbstruck Diamond and Silver. The Crusaders gallop across to their coach, Scootaloo having unloaded her helmet and pads.)
Scootaloo: It’s kind of a work in progress. So, what did you think?
Rainbow: (with growing fervor) That…was…ama—
(She suddenly curbs her enthusiasm and catches her bottom lip in her teeth.)
Rainbow: (thinking) Wait. Hold on now. (She turns her face away.) Gotta stay calm, cool, and collected.
(A sidelong glance from one red-violet eye leaves the Crusaders wondering if they might have just blown their chance.)
Rainbow: To give a calm, clear analysis…wait. (with great zeal, hovering) You whipped that up together just yesterday?!? That is—
(She again shifts attitudes without bothering to use the clutch and turns away from them.)
Rainbow: (thinking) Professionalism, Dash. Keep those emotions in check.
(Swivel back to face them once again.)
Rainbow: Overall, it was kinda sorta…
(Cut to a slow pan across three eagerly smiling fillies’ faces, then to frame all four.)
Rainbow: (hastily) Overall, it was okay. Keep working hard. Who knows? You might have a shot. Gotta go!
(She wastes no time taking off with a yelp, as if a horde of parasprites were trying to devour her tail.)
Bloom: Do y’all think she liked it?
Sweetie: I’m not really sure.
Scootaloo: You heard her. If we keep working hard, we might have a shot! So let’s keep working. Trot to it, ponies!
(They gallop away; pan to Diamond and Silver at the fence.)
Diamond: Did you see that? I can’t believe I’m saying this—they could win!
Silver: But how do we stop them? We already called them blank flanks.
Diamond: Then we need to find a new way to get under their skin.
(She turns her attention to the stage, where the Crusaders have begun setting up for another run-through. The light blue eyes narrow intently over the grimacing mouth; cut to Scootaloo, zooming in slowly to an extreme close-up of the orange wings.)
Diamond: (from o.s.) Or maybe…
(Back to her; they appear reflected in her pupils. The grimace has been replaced by a frightening smile.)
Diamond: …get under their wings.
(She squints on the end of this, the top and bottom thirds of the screen going black as if the camera lens is copying the gesture. From here, dissolve to the Crusaders checking their equipment.)
Diamond: (from o.s., sweetly) Girls? (She and Silver walk onto the stage.) We just wanted to say your act is quite impressive!
Sweetie: Wait. What?
Bloom: Um…thanks? (The bullies cross past Scootaloo.)
Silver: Oh, but of course. As a matter of fact, we think you’re very brave.
Scootaloo: Brave? Why? (Cut to the pair, stopped at the far end.)
Diamond: Isn’t it obvious? (High five with Silver.) It is to us. In fact, it’s obvious to everypony. You’re showing all three types of Ponyville ponies, yet you have a pegasus pony—
Diamond, Silver: —who can’t even fly!
(On Diamond’s “you,” the camera zooms out slightly to put said pegasus pony in the fore, glaring at them. Irritation shifts to insecurity in less time than it takes to say” harsh your buzz”; cut to Bloom and Sweetie.)
Bloom: What in tarnation does that have to do with anything?
Silver: (from o.s.) I’d say not being able to fly has everything to do with everything, doesn’t it?
(Back to Scootaloo on the end of this; the two rich fillies step smugly past her as she anxiously flaps a bit.)
Diamond: I mean, a pegasus pony at your age? You should’ve been flying long ago. (Zoom in on Scootaloo; suddenly angry.)
Scootaloo: So what if my wings can’t get me off the ground?
Diamond: Your career as a flag carrier isn’t getting off the ground either. (The two pass Scootaloo again.)
Silver: Ms. Harshwhinny will never pick a pegasus pony who can’t fly to represent Ponyville in front of all of Equestria. (Accompanied by a flick at the orange wings on “can’t fly.”)
Sweetie: Ms. Harshwhinny never said anything about that!
Silver: (walking past with Diamond) I would’ve thought that was obvious.
Diamond: Well, have fun practicing anyway—even if your routine will never—how shall I say?— (Cut to a thunderstruck Scootaloo; she continues o.s.) —take off!
(The ears and violet eyes both drop despondently toward the stage; cut to Bloom and Sweetie.)
Sweetie: Don’t listen to them, Scootaloo. (They look off toward her.) Scootaloo?
(Cut to just behind the flightless filly, now watching a couple of her classmates doing loop-the-loops under Rainbow’s supervision.)
Sweetie: (from o.s.) You okay?
(Scootaloo tries a few test flaps, then shifts to all business.)
Scootaloo: This routine isn’t working how it is. We’ve gotta rethink my part in the whole thing.
Sweetie: What?
Bloom: Why?
Scootaloo: If we want to win, I’m gonna have to fly!
Sweetie: Is that even possible?
Bloom: And by tomorrow?
Scootaloo: (crossing to them) Maybe I can fly if I work twice as hard! (She flaps madly and hovers just off the stage.) See?
(But only for a moment; down she goes with a thud and grunt. Close-up of her face.)
Scootaloo: Maybe three times as hard.
Bloom: (from o.s.) Golly. I don’t know, Scootaloo. (Back to the others.) I don’t think that’s the problem. (Scootaloo stands up.)
Scootaloo: Well, I know this for sure. Flying is the only way we’re gonna win. (galloping past, jumping off edge) So it’s back to practice! (Sound of wings beating furiously.)
Sweetie: (to Bloom) Is this a good idea?
Scootaloo: (now o.s.) Whoooaaa!
(What follows is another thud, this one vigorous enough to shake the camera, and a grunt from her hard landing. Bloom and Sweetie wince; cut to Scootaloo, tumbled on the grass.)
Scootaloo: I’ll just work four times as hard! (Tilt up to the others.)
Bloom: (to Sweetie) Probably not.
(Dissolve to an expanse of twilit sky and hills, and pan/tilt down to the stage in time with Scootaloo’s frustrated sigh. The Crusaders have cleared away all the props except for the hoop, which has been stripped of its paper; Bloom wears her green hoof streamers, while the violet one for Sweetie’s horn lies next to her.)
Scootaloo: Guys, guys, guys! Try it again!
Bloom: (yawning) But we’ve been rehearsin’ all the livelong day. We’re gettin’ tired.
Scootaloo: Fine. We’ll skip to my big impressive flying entrance.
(She turns away during this line, the camera panning to frame Bloom and Sweetie; they trade a very skeptical glance.)
Scootaloo: (demonstrating moves) So you’ve done the do-si-do to the left, then to the right— (Bloom and Sweetie again, picking up the hoop; she continues o.s.) —and then there’s the hoop. (Back to her, leaping toward it.) Then I come in…
(Even with her wings going like mad, she cannot sustain enough altitude to carry her all the way and ends up thumping onto her belly as she reaches the hoop. Bloom and Sweetie let it drop.)
Scootaloo: Not quite what I had in mind. (She stands up.) We’ll just… (Groan.) …try that part again. (Straining, she hovers clear of the stage and o.s.)
Bloom: (to Sweetie) I liked our routine the way it was.
Sweetie: Me too. But all she cares about now is flying.
Scootaloo: (from o.s.) Don’t worry! (jumping/hovering across stage) I’ll be flying high tomorrow on our final run-through for Rainbow Dash. I’m gonna get this, you’ll see.
(She finally makes it all the way past them and o.s.; a thud and tremor come back, and Bloom shoots an unconvinced look to Sweetie. Dissolve to Rainbow in front of the stage the following day, facing the closed curtain.)
Rainbow: Okay, Cutie Mark Crusaders! This is your final run before you show it at the stadium tomorrow. (hovering wildly) I know you’re gonna absolutely, positively—
(She cuts herself off just as on the previous day and descends to the grass in a more controlled manner.)
Rainbow: —have a lot of fun! (Forced chuckle.) Okay, go!
(At the sound of her whistle, the camera cuts to just behind her and zooms in on the stage as the curtain opens. The scenery is slightly different from the Crusaders’ original presentation, in that the clouds are rearranged and the platform in front of the mountains has been removed.)
Scootaloo: (from o.s.) Ponyville!
(She is lowered into view on the central cloud from which she emerged in the first run-through, blue wing streamers waving to full length. Bloom and Sweetie trudge in from stage right and left, respectively, their respective streamers dragging across the boards.)
Scootaloo: (with a slight, fatigued sigh) Home of the…um… (She stops her wings; streamers go limp.)
Bloom, Sweetie: (softly, prompting her) Friendship!
Scootaloo: Uh, friendship! Right. (Others cross to stage left.) Uh, there are four—no.
(Close-up of the dispirited unicorn, followed closely by the earth pony.)
Scootaloo: (from o.s.) Three kinds of ponies. (Bloom yawns.)
Sweetie: (whispering ,prodding her) Left! Left! (Both cross back.)
Bloom: I’m sorry! I’m just tired! (They stop at center stage.) And then I dip, and then we turn, and—
(Punctuated respectively by a lean forward that causes the fluffy red tail to whip up and smack Sweetie in the face, then a pivot that causes the two heads to knock together. Cut to a disbelieving Rainbow.)
Bloom: (from o.s.) Sorry!
(The hoop for the grand finale—now covered over with fresh paper—is lifted into position, but not without considerable effort by both fillies. The sheet bulges from behind but does not break, and they drop the hoop to reveal Scootaloo hovering behind it, having totally failed her big flying entrance. She has shed her wing streamers.)
Scootaloo: Ta-da!
(Down she goes on her belly, heaving for breath. Cut to Rainbow.)
Scootaloo: (from o.s.) So? What’d you think?
Rainbow: (scratching her head) That’s…you know…good and all. (Nervous chuckle.)
(Back to the stage, where Scootaloo has moved to the front while her friends slump sullenly in the background.)
Rainbow: (from o.s.) I just thought, maybe possibly you might want to go back to, say…
(Back to her on the end of this line.)
Rainbow: …the first version of the act, which was, I don’t know, what’s the word…better? (The stage again; Scootaloo’s mood deflates as she continues o.s.) Just do the routine as it was. (Her again.) Don’t mess with success, right?
(She gets down to business.)
Rainbow: Seriously. (Hover off the ground.) Now I need to… (flying to two fillies nearby) …go coach these other ponies. (following them o.s.) And don’t forget, we’ve gotta catch the early train for the Crystal Empire. (Cut to a downcast Scootaloo; she continues o.s.) See you in the morning!
(Low spirits turn into panic as the camera zooms out to frame all three Crusaders; Bloom and Sweetie discard their streamers.)
Scootaloo: What are we gonna do? We’re competing tomorrow and I still can’t fly! (getting an idea) Unless…
Sweetie: I’m just too tired. (She sits on her haunches.) I can’t keep going!
Bloom: Me too. (Cut to her and Scootaloo; sudden burst of anger.) I’m tired, I’m hungry, and now I hate this routine! (pointing) It feels like it’s all about you now!
Sweetie: (from o.s.) She’s right. (Cut to her, standing again.) It’s like you don’t even need us anymore.
Scootaloo: Of course I need you! Without you two, who’s gonna hold up the hoop?
Bloom: (groaning disgustedly) You don’t listen to yourself! (walking off; soft sigh) Forget it! (now o.s.) I’m goin’ home to get some sleep!
Scootaloo: (to Sweetie, accusingly) So, are you gonna leave me too?
Sweetie: (walking past her) We’ve gotta catch the early train to the Crystal Empire. I better get some rest. See you in the morning, Scootaloo.
(The now-solitary pegasus aims a withering glare back at her wings and starts flapping.)
Scootaloo: Come on, Scootaloo! Do it for Ponyville! Just gotta try twenty times as hard!
(She gets a few inches off the planks. Clock wipe to her, now noticeably fatigued.)
Scootaloo: Thirty…times…as hard!
(Another try, another hover, followed by a hard landing. Clock wipe to her under the full moon and night sky, wings cranking away but with only one side of her body lifted clear.)
Scootaloo: (even more tired) Just…a little…harder!
(And down she goes on her other side. Another clock wipe, and morning has come in time with yet another try that ends in a wipeout on the wood. Scootaloo sighs heavily, noticing a butterfly that flits lazily past.)
Scootaloo: I can’t fly. (sighing again) I just… (Face down on the stage.) …can’t.
(Dissolve to a train idling at the Ponyville station.)
Conductor: (from behind it) Crystal Empire! All aboard!
(Cut to the platform; he and the passengers, including Snips/Snails and Diamond/Silver, haul their luggage toward the waiting car doors. Bloom and Sweetie gallop frantically into view and start looking all around, even climbing on top of foals and gear.)
Sweetie: Scootaloo?…Where is she?
Bloom: She’d better get here soon. This here train is ’bout to leave!
Scootaloo: (from o.s., listlessly) Here I am. (Cut to her on the platform; the others cross to her.)
Bloom: We were scared you were gonna miss the train.
Scootaloo: I…I’m not going.
Bloom, Sweetie: What?!?
Scootaloo: I’m the weak link. (flapping wings) If I go and fall, flop, or do anything but fly, I’m gonna blow it for you two.
Sweetie: I can’t believe you’re quitting on us!
Scootaloo: (anger flaring) But you’re better off without me!
Sweetie: But that’s not true, Scootaloo!
Bloom: (bitterly) You know what, Sweetie Belle? Forget it! If she’s gonna quit, we don’t want her—and we don’t need her!
Scootaloo: Fine! (She turns her face away.)
Bloom: Fine! (Ditto.)
Sweetie: (wearily, averting eyes) Fine. (Train whistle sounds.)
Conductor: (from o.s.) All aboard!
(This is the pair’s cue to clump across the platform, leaving Scootaloo alone once again. Her indignation melts into uncertainty and regret as the sound of the engine’s chuffing drifts across to her, and the camera zooms out as it picks up speed. She is by herself on the platform, nursing her doubts and fears as the view fades to black.)
Act Three
(Opening shot: fade in to the interior of the train’s rearmost car. Bloom and Sweetie gaze glumly out the window at its end, forelegs propped on the sill, and climb down to look at each other after a moment as the camera zooms out. Other fillies have taken most of the seats, but this is no concern for Rainbow, who flies eagerly over to the pair.)
Rainbow: How’s my favorite routine going today? Oh, I just can’t keep it in. I want you to win so bad! (imitating timpani, facing left and right) Then Scootaloo does that… (Backflip, imitating rush of wind.) …through the hoop!
(Her goofy grin is met by two downcast expressions.)
Bloom: Well, there ain’t gonna be a Scootaloo.
Sweetie: She’s staying home.
Rainbow: (flabbergasted) She’s what?!?
Bloom: She got it in her head that the only way to represent Ponyville was by flyin’ in our routine. When she couldn’t do it, she told us that…she was quittin’.
Rainbow: And then you tried to stop her from doing that, right? (She swivels her head to face each speaker in turn.)
Sweetie: Well, actually, we kinda told her…
Bloom: …uh, that we didn’t want a quitter.
Rainbow: (hoof to face) Hang on. Are you nuts?!? You’re a team! And a team never leaves a friend behind.
(Bloom and Sweetie ponder these words, contrition clearly stenciled on both faces, and Rainbow rockets across the car to an emergency-stop pull cord. Nip in teeth and yank, ringing a bell; cut to a long shot of the train as it screeches to a halt fairly close to the middle of nowhere. The car door bursts open so Rainbow can fly out.)
Rainbow: Come on! (The two fillies jump to the ground; Diamond and Silver look on from the next car.)
Diamond: (taunting) Sorry you can’t make it! (as the train starts again) We’ll take a picture for you from the winners’ circle!
(Cut to a justifiably disgruntled Bloom and Sweetie; their nemeses’ laughter drifts toward them.)
Sweetie: I do not like them one bit. (Zoom out slightly; Rainbow hovers behind them, looking back along the tracks.)
Rainbow: Put on some speed, girls!
(Two wings and eight hooves start tearing it up toward home sweet home. Cut to a room in which Scootaloo lunges up to rip a couple of posters off the walls. Each is marked with a trio of horseshoes—gold, silver, bronze—similar to the Olympic rings, signifying it as a piece of Games artwork; the first shows three rearing gold/silver/bronze pony silhouettes atop a medalists’ podium marked with a laurel wreath, while the other depicts a gold pegasus flying high over the planet. They are rolled up and stuffed into a trash can—and her trusty scooter rattles in after them. Scootaloo sits on her haunches in this room—her bedroom, judging from the furniture visible behind her—and lets tears collect in her eyes until one spills down her cheek. The creak of the o.s. door startles her out of this deep blue funk.)
Rainbow: (from o.s., supremely ticked off) Throwing away your scooter?!?
(Zoom out. The older pegasus hovers at the partially opened door as the younger one gapes back at her.)
Scootaloo: Rainbow Dash? (She flies in.)
Rainbow: Yep. But not just me.
(A light kick opens the door the rest of the way, revealing Bloom and Sweetie behind it; they stitch on big grins, causing Scootaloo to instinctively smile in return. Just as quickly, though, she squelches it in favor of a scowl and turns away.)
Scootaloo: I don’t want to see them. And what are they doing here, anyway? They’re supposed to be on the train.
Bloom: (stepping into room) We’re not goin’.
Sweetie: (ditto) Not without you, Scootaloo.
(A few more tears start to gather in Scootaloo’s eyes as Rainbow hunkers down close to her.)
Rainbow: What’s gotten into you, Scootaloo?
Scootaloo: (voice breaking) I didn’t want to ruin their chance to win just because I couldn’t fly.
Rainbow: And who said you had to? (Scootaloo turns to her.)
Scootaloo: But flying’s what pegasus ponies are supposed to do. You flew when you carried the flag in the Games.
Rainbow: But that was me. You’re you. And it just doesn’t matter if you can fly or not. (Cut to Scootaloo; she continues o.s.) Your routine was amazing ’cause it represented exactly what makes Ponyville special. (Cut to frame both; Bloom and Sweetie cross to them.) You do still know what that is, right?
Sweetie: Friendship.
Bloom: Three kinds of ponies livin’ together as friends, just like us. Earth ponies…
Sweetie: …unicorns…
Scootaloo: (smiling) …and pegasi. (A sudden worry hits her.) But, Rainbow Dash…what if… (tearing up) …what if my wings never grow? (flapping them slowly; a few tears fall) What if I never fly?
(Rainbow lands next to her.)
Rainbow: Listen, Scootaloo. Maybe you’ll fly someday, or maybe you won’t. (gently tapping Scootaloo’s cheek) You’re all kinds of awesome anyway. (knowingly, hovering just off ground to give her a noogie) Who’s the toughest little pony in town?
Slow, faint drum cadence, growing slowly into a relaxed version of the Act One melody
(F major)
Sweetie: Got the moves, got the mojo
Bloom: No harder-working pony around
Scootaloo: (a bit reluctantly) We are a trio
(smiling) Work as a team
(They put their forelegs around each other’s shoulders.)
Crusaders: We’ll be the first ponies out on the flag-waving scene
(They split apart, their old confidence fully restored.)
G flat major
Scootaloo: So let’s get to the Crystal Empire and let’s do the routine as it was! And let’s win this thing!
Original style/tempo/instrumentation as in the final chorus
(Cut to the exterior of this house. The front door bursts open, Rainbow flying out with Scootaloo close behind on her scooter and wearing helmet/goggles/pads. Tied to the rear end are two long ropes, each held by one Crusader on a pair of skis; they also wear full safety gear and have the free ends in their teeth.)
Crusaders: We’ve got hearts as strong as horses
(The four ponies hurtle down the street and the Crusaders swerve through the spectators, scaring more than a few of them.)
We’ve got hearts as strong as horses
(Scootaloo starts in fear; up ahead is a board propped against a house’s roof. She throws it a scheming grin, the view briefly contracting to a horizontal strip that frames her narrowed eyes, and snaps her wings into maximum overdrive.)
We’ve got hearts as strong as horses
(Up the impromptu ramp she goes, catching a whole lot of air and briefly letting go of the handlebars as the Crusaders soar through the peak.)
And we’re playing to win as we gallop to glory
(Hit the ground, wheels still going flat out.)
We can conquer any challenge we’re in
(Granny Smith starts to cross the street, but stops upon seeing their approach and lifts one front hoof; in a slow-motion close-up, Scootaloo’s slaps against it for an airborne high five.)
We’ve got hearts, hearts strong as horses
(Normal motion resumes; the elderly mare smiles warmly after the trio, which blasts through the meadows bordering the Everfree Forest and then along the railroad tracks.)
Hearts strong as horses
(Now they go up and down a range of hills paralleling the tracks, not losing a bit of speed or control, and race through a field of flowers toward the camera.)
Song ends with a four-beat drum cadence followed by a stinger
(Snap to a pale yellow background just as Scootaloo’s face fills the screen, then cut to her launching herself through a hoop covered in paper of this color amid an explosion of confetti and streamers. The focus is on her, leaving the background—stadium seats packed with cheering ponies—as a multicolored blur for the moment. She touches down on the grassy surface and skids to a stop, filling the screen with dust. The view clears to show her standing proudly in front of a large Ponyville flag; here come Bloom and Sweetie from opposite sides, leaping up to balance on Scootaloo’s upraised front hooves just as they did on their first practice. The latter two no longer wear their gear.)
Crusaders: PONYVILLE FOREVER! YAAAAY!
(Cut to a slow pan across the applauding crowd, now seen in full focus, then dissolve to a lectern on a stage. It is decorated with a rearing-filly silhouette, and Ms. H steps up behind it. The crowd goes silent as she lifts herself to her hind legs and taps the lectern’s microphone, producing a bit of feedback. Cut to a slow pan along a line of young competitors, including a smugly grinning Diamond and Silver in ornate pink/white/pale yellow dresses. Snips and Snails are among them, as are the Crusaders; Scootaloo has discarded her gear as well.)
Ms. H: (from o.s., amplified) In the Equestria Games, the Ponyville flag will be carried by… (Back to her, smiling broadly.) …Cutie Mark Crusaders!
(It would be hard to say which response is louder—the crowd’s or the trio’s. Diamond and Silver take the news very badly, storming off with noses in air and sotto-voce snarls in throats. This shot picks out the pink shoes both are wearing on all four hooves. Dissolve to the stage, where the Crusaders stand in a line; Bloom and Sweetie each have a wreath of roses around their necks, and Ms. H carries one over to Scootaloo and settles it in place as Rainbow and Cheerilee look on from the side. The blue pegasus has finally put away her cap and whistle. Cut to just behind the three fillies; their ecstatic grins are cut off by Rainbow’s hovering approach and throat-clearing.)
Rainbow: Look. What you three did was…acceptable.
Ms. H: (from o.s.) Acceptable? (Eyes pop; cut to her.) Acceptable? (grinning hugely, freaking out) Why, it was totally stupendously the single most amazing thing I’ve ever seen!
(Back to Rainbow and the Crusaders, all floored by this outpouring of emotion from the staid mare; her laughter drifts across to them from o.s.)
Rainbow: Contain your excitement, Ms. Harshwhinny. Remember—professionalism.
(Ms. H straightens up and composes herself, clearing her throat.)
Ms. H: (stammering a bit) Yes, well, I—
(Chuckle; clear throat again; bug out, prompting a round of laughter from coach and fillies. In the midst of the levity, Scootaloo’s laughter stops as if slashed off by a knife and she glances toward her haunch; zoom in slowly on that patch of hide, but not close enough to obscure the smile that steals over her face.)
Scootaloo: Do you know what this means, right?
Bloom: What?
Scootaloo: We are totally gonna get cutie marks in flag carrying! (This poleaxes Rainbow.)
Bloom, Sweetie: Yeah!
(The full-grown daredevil flaps grumpily away, her body language broadcasting one simple thought: “Oh, no, not this again!” However, the Crusaders pay no mind and laugh some more as the view fades to black.)
POWER PONIES
Written by Meghan McCarthy, Charlotte Fullerton, Betsy McGowen
Produced by Sarah Wall, Devon Cody
Story editing by Meghan McCarthy
Supervising direction by Jayson Thiessen
Co-directed by Jim Miller
Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)
Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to a close-up of Twilight Sparkle asleep in bed, a tasseled, white-trimmed blue nightcap covering her noggin. The night sky is visible behind her, through the window of her bedroom loft in the library. She sleeps peacefully until a soft click and a shaft of light from o.s. cause her to screw up her eyes and then open them in an understandably annoyed manner. Next comes the sound of a page being turned; cut to just behind Spike, sitting up in his basket and reading something by the new light. Twilight sits up in bed to face him.)
Twilight: Spike, you really need to go to sleep.
(Head-on view of the baby dragon. The illumination is coming from a small lamp on the floor next to his basket, and the reading material is a comic book.)
Spike: Aw, two more minutes, Twilight? (crossing to bed) I’m just getting to the really good part. (holding book up) The Mane-iac is about to—
(The lift affords a view of the cover: a crazed purple earth pony mare whose two-tone green mane has grown out into long, tentacle-like tresses that are moving on their own.)
Twilight: The Mane-iac? (He jumps onto the bed and holds the comic up to her face.)
Spike: The Power Ponies’ most evil nemesis!
(Now the character can be seen wearing gold-trimmed black boots and a gold necklace; her eyes’ irises are red with green rims. He flips open the issue and points at the first panel on one page.)
Spike: She was the power-mad owner of a hair-care product company.
(Extreme close-up of the pages, shifting about to follow his pointing.)
Spike: (from o.s.) A tragic accident at her shampoo factory in Maretropolis not only gave her mane strange new powers, but also caused her to go completely insane!
(Artwork as follows. Several steaming vats of varicolored liquids in a production plant, overseen by a mare on a catwalk; said mare falling through space amid a broken railing and sparking electrical cables; she plunges toward one vat; splash in, followed by a couple of the live wires; emerge as the madly grinning Mane-iac with electricity running throughout her mane. Spike hams it up on “completely insane,” after which the camera cuts back to him and Twilight. As he continues, she rolls her eyes and gives him a humoring smile.)
Spike: She and her hench-ponies are planning to break into the Maretropolis Museum—
(Close-up of one panel: a small glowing sphere that rests on a roped-off pedestal. He points to this.)
Spike: (from o.s.) —and steal the Electro-Orb— (Back to him.) —so she can use it to power up her doomsday device! (dismissively) Of course, the Mane-iac wouldn’t have even known if Humdrum hadn’t slipped up and told her all about it. (Cut to Twilight.)
Twilight: Humdrum?
Spike: (from o.s., holding comic toward her with a contemptuous grunt) The guy in the blue boots and pointless red cape. (He pulls it back; cut to him.) The Power Ponies’ bumbling and totally useless sidekick. (animatedly, jumping over to footboard) The Power Ponies have to stop the Mane-iac, or Maretroplis is doomed!
(This last word is held out for maximum dramatic effect, but it just gets a cocky little grin from Twilight.)
Twilight: Believe me, Spike, if anypony understands what it’s like to get caught up in a really good book, it’s me. But if we’re gonna make any progress fixing up Luna and Celestia’s old castle tomorrow, we all have to do our part. We don’t want to be too tired to lend a hoof—or claw.
(The clawed recipient of these words grimaces to himself.)
Spike: Okay, okay. (He jumps down and crosses to his basket.) I’m going to bed. (Comic goes on the floor.) Good night.
(Switching off the lamp, he tucks in and pulls the blanket over himself, head and all. After Twilight has settled down as well, one scaly hand reaches out and begins to grope about on the floor. Twilight pops one eye open to follow this activity, and as he continues feeling around, the dropped comic is magically floated up and just out of his reach. Spike peeks out to give it a frustrated/pleading stare; cut to his perspective as Twilight shifts it to one side so they can look directly at each other.)
Twilight: (sternly, but gently) Two more minutes. (Back to him, turning on the lamp.)
Spike: Yes!
(A backflip as she releases her hold, and he lands on his back in the basket to resume his foray into the Power Ponies’ adventure. Fade to black.)
OPENING THEME
Act One
(Opening shot: fade in to the throne room of the ruined Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters. It is now the following morning. Five Ponyville mares are hard at work: Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash stretching a tarp to block off a hole in the roof, Twilight and Rarity checking over others spread on the floor, Applejack carrying a painting in her mouth. Carts of supplies are parked here and there, and Twilight no longer wears her nightcap. Zoom in slowly.)
Twilight: Looking good, everypony! (Spike runs in, wearing a backpack.) Let’s keep this magical makeover moving! (Rarity floats a chair across the room; Fluttershy and Rainbow land near Twilight’s tarp.)
Rainbow: You got it!
(The two pegasi haul up the roll of fabric as the baby dragon finally reaches Twilight.)
Spike: Good old Spike is here— (She walks off, having not noticed.) —ready to do his part!
(Looking around, he realizes that none of the others have acknowledged his presence either. Across the way, Applejack is hanging a picture as Pinkie Pie skates past, the scrub brushes strapped to her hooves leaving a trail of soap suds.)
Pinkie: A little more to the left! (Nudge, farther off the level; Pinkie makes another pass.) No, the other left! (Another nudge, now straight; a third pass, hastily spoken.) Awesome, that’s perfect right where it is, on to the next painting! (Spike comes over.)
Spike: (to Applejack) You sure you don’t need any help?
Applejack: Naw, that’s okay. (Now Pinkie skates past on the wall behind them, hooves flailing.)
Pinkie: We got everything under control!
Spike: (looking up) Dash?
Rainbow: I’m good!
(She flies off; he sighs heavily and returns to Twilight, who floats a piece of cloth away.)
Spike: Isn’t there anything I can help you with, Twilight?
(Here comes the pink washing expert once again—this time sliding along while seated on a brush.)
Pinkie: (hastily) Don’t worry about it, Spike, it’s all good!
Twilight: I think she’s right. It looks like we’ve got it, Spike. (addressing the room) Looking great, everypony! (to Spike) Why don’t you find a quiet spot and finish reading your comic?
(She warms up her horn; cut to him as the rolled-up comic is floated out of his backpack, to his surprise.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) Weren’t you right at the part where Humdrum was about to stop the villain?
(On the end of this, she unrolls it and settles it back into his hands. He throws an irked glare after her—evidently she paid no attention during his exposition the previous night—and hurries to catch up as she walks off. This shot frames the pair in a head-on view, their hooves/feet cut off by the bottom edge of the screen.)
Spike: Humdrum never stops the villain. He’s just there for comic relief.
(A loud clatter brings them up short, and a tilt down reveals the source—the full wash bucket that Spike has just stepped in. Glaring angrily, he throws the comic aside and tries vigorously to dislodge the container; no luck.)
Twilight: (calling/moving o.s.) Rarity! Let me give you a hoof with that! (Bucket comes loose, flung upward.)
Spike: I could do it!
Twilight: That’s okay, Spike.
(He stands up to find the work still going on all fronts—including Pinkie, who slides into view upside down, leaving a fresh trail of suds from the brush she has doubtless hidden in her mane.)
Pinkie: Pony power! Whee!
(The little dragon sighs heavily and regards his comic book for a moment, only to be interrupted by the bucket landing upside down on his head. He walks off, the view dissolving to the hidden library room he and Twilight found in “Castle Mane-ia.” Seated on some pillows by the windows, he starts to read as the camera zooms in slowly. He has removed the bucket and his backpack.)
Spike: Mane-iac breaks into the museum…okay. Here we go. (Close-up; he eyes the pages critically.) Aw, what a surprise. Humdrum is in the way again while the Power Ponies do all the work! (dejectedly) I guess I know what that feels like.
(Turning his attention to the pages again, he sucks in a sharp gasp and sits up straight.)
Spike: Wait.
(A brief cut to his perspective reveals that he has reached the last page and inside back cover—the latter being completely blank. In a head-on shot, he frantically turns the book one way and another.)
Spike: What? How can that be the end?
(Cut to just behind his head, tilting down to the bottom edge of the unmarked area. Now a small patch of writing can be seen at the bottom right corner; zoom in slightly on this, putting him out of view.)
Spike: (from o.s.) What’s that? (Back to him, now peering closely at the spot.) “You can…retry…” What? “You can…return…”
(He lowers the comic with a loud groan, puts hands to eyes, and gets an idea.)
Spike: (climbing off pillows, crossing room) I know I saw a magnifying glass lying around last time I was here.
(Another pillow is lifted so he can peek underneath. Cut to the juncture of two corridors, where the six mares are walking/flying along.)
Applejack: (calling out) Spike? Where are you, Spike?
Rarity: We’re breaking for tea and biscuits!
(Back to the baby dragon, who has procured the item he sought and is using it to examine the comic very carefully. It now lies open on the stand that used to hold the diary kept by Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.)
Rainbow: (from outside, distant) Spike!
Spike: (reading, slowly) “You can return to the place you started when the Mane-iac is defeated.” (Glass down.) Huh?
(The rest of the gang enters the library; zoom out to frame the still-exposed entrance to the secret room, not far down the aisle from them. Meanwhile, Spike is again using his lens on the fine print.)
Spike: (reading) “Take a closer look to join the adventure in this book”? (Glass down.) What does that even mean?
(A dazzling burst of light forms on the open pages.)
Spike: Whoa! Cool! (The others enter the room.)
Twilight: Spike! What are you—
(His reading material is now standing almost vertical on its own, and that incandescent spot begins to draw him in as if it were a vacuum cleaner.)
Spike: HEEEEELLLLLP!!
Twilight: SPIKE!!
(She rushes in and grabs hold, but the pull is strong enough to start dragging her in as well. Just as she disappears into the book, Rainbow flies in and wraps her hooves around the violet midsection, dragging her partway back; no good, as she starts to go in as well. Enter Applejack, who gets a mouthful of Rainbow’s tail and almost gets her free before the book starts to suck them both down. Fluttershy and Rarity, still at the door, gasp and gallop in together; soon they are at the end of the line, Fluttershy dragging Applejack back by the midsection and Rarity doing the same for Fluttershy. Finally the draw is too strong for all of them and they disappear into its light with a five-part scream of terror; only now does Pinkie hop cheerfully into view and toward it.)
Pinkie: Whee!
(One more bounce drops her squarely into the blinding light, which vanishes as the pages flip backward and the cover closes itself. Dissolve from a close-up of it to one of Spike lying unconscious on some surface; he now wears blue gloves, a red cape, and a black eye mask. It takes a moment for him to fully recover his senses and stand up, the camera shifting to a longer shot and framing a nighttime urban skyline of rooftops behind him. The cape is secured with a small gold pin, and a blue belt with a large, round gold buckle encircles his waist.)
Spike: (looking around) Is this…
(The impression that he is on a roof is confirmed when he moves off to one side and peeks down. Far below is a city street, where ponies are going about their business in front of an opulent building.)
Spike: …Maretropolis?
(Pan/rotate to frame more of the street, picking out the skyscrapers that line both sides of it and the airship cruising overhead, then cut back to him on the start of the next line.)
Applejack: (from o.s.) Somepony want to tell me what the hay is goin’ on?
(The young comic fan’s eyes bug out and his mouth opens as if to scream. Across from him, on the rooftop, are six silhouettes whose general colors, faintly illuminated by the moon, identify them as his friends—but the hairstyles and other details are markedly different.)
Spike: Holy new personas, ponies!
(Now the light comes up full for each of the following, casting an otherworldly glow around them. Cut to a close-up of Twilight’s hooves—in light blue boots marked with dark magenta trim and the pink star from her cutie mark—and tilt up. She wears a bodysuit in the same magenta shade and an armor plate in a darker blue covering her back and chest, with holes for her wings; at her throat is a small pink lozenge-shaped gem, and she wears a magenta eye mask beneath gold-framed goggles. Her horn is protected by an armor piece the same color as the one on her back, with a magenta lozenge gem set between her eyes. Her bangs are swept back from her forehead, while the rest of her mane streams down behind one shoulder and her tail retains its usual straight-cut contour.)
Spike: (from o.s.) You’re the… (She looks herself over; zoom out slightly.) …Masked Matter-Horn!
(Pan quickly to four hooves trotting in place at full speed. They and the body attached to them are clad in a white suit, with a violet arrow pointing ahead along the flank and matching zigzag bands around the hooves, each of which is also marked with a white balloon. Pinkie’s tail hangs into view behind the rump, its edges and end styled into a zigzag. Zoom out to frame all of her; the suit covers everything except her face, ears, and forelock, the last hanging backward along her head instead of over her face and also sporting a zigzag at its end. An additional violet band circles her neck and trails down into an arrowhead pointing toward her chest.)
Spike: (from o.s.) Filli-Second!
(Tilt up quickly into the sky, framing a puzzled Rainbow. Her outfit consists of a dark blue bodysuit, with holes for the wings, whose hood has been cut away to cover only her forehead and the back of her head. The hooves are white, each marked with a gold lightning bolt, and a white band and gold lightning-bolt pendant encircle her neck. The face portion of her suit is edged in white, with lightning bolts on the temples, and her mane is swept back similar to Twilight’s bangs but still keeps its unruly appearance.)
Spike: (from o.s.) Zapp!
(Tilt down quickly to Rarity on the rooftop. Purple bodysuit marked with light blue gems; light pink ones on bracelets around both front hooves and worked into her mane/tail; mane gathered/curled at the top and back of her head; light blue collar with a pink gem in a gold setting around her neck; purple eye mask. She seems to approve of the effect.)
Spike: (from o.s.) Ooh…Radiance!
(Pan quickly to a close-up of four hooves clad in red with black apple-marked spats—a front one lifted to poke at a loop of rope hanging down near them—and zoom out. Here stands Applejack, her collared red bodysuit sporting green buttons in front and a dark brown hood that leaves her eyes, mane, and muzzle exposed. Around her midsection is a set of small black saddlebags that contain gold horseshoes; the loop of rope is clipped to one of these. With the exception of her forelock and the tip of her tail, all of the blond hair is covered by green wrappings; she does not wear her cowboy hat.)
Spike: (from o.s.) Mistress Marevelous!
(As she strikes a confident pose, Fluttershy steps timidly out from behind her. Blue-green bodysuit that leaves her head and wings exposed; butterfly bracelets on both forelegs; purple eye mask and matching lacy scarf marked with a flower pin; mane/tail streaming behind her.)
Spike: (from o.s.) Saddle Rager! (Soft groan; cut to him.)You’re the…Power Ponies!
(A blast from far below sends stone dust boiling up past the ledge, and all seven gather for a look, the ethereal corona now having faded away. What they find is a smoking crater in the sidewalk and building façade, accompanied by frightened ponies fleeing in all directions. Long tentacles in two unwholesome—and familiar—shades of green lash out from within the smoke, anchoring themselves on the pavement and masonry. They are followed by a bold, contemptuous female voice that can only belong to the Mane-iac.)
Mane-iac: (from within smoke) Power Ponies!
(She laughs wildly, the haze clearing to expose her in the horseflesh, and holds up a dark sphere with a crackling spot of energy at its core.)
Mane-iac: How kind of you to join us!
All but Spike: Huh?
(She laughs again, now holding herself up off the ground with her mutated mane. If Spike’s story is playing itself out, the item she holds is the Electro-Orb, and the wrecked building is the Maretropolis Museum. Zoom out and snap to black.)
Act Two
(Opening shot: fade in to an extreme close-up of the Mane-iac’s cackling mouth and zoom out quickly to a long overhead shot of the crime scene. All but Rainbow watch from the rooftop across the street.)
Applejack: Did she just call us “Power Ponies”?
Spike: You’re the…the superheroes from my comic book! It somehow zapped us all in here! (Tilt up to Rainbow, hovering above them.)
Rainbow: So somepony zap us back out!
Spike: My comic book…it said the way to get back to where we started was to defeat the Mane-iac!
(Cut to Twilight/Fluttershy/Rainbow on the end of this, Pinkie crossing to them, then back to Spike.)
Spike: (pointing toward street) Your arch-nemesis! (She turns her attention to them.)
Mane-iac: Time for the “mane” event!
(A few locks lash down the sidewalk and snatch up a pretzel cart, hurling it toward the group so that it smashes into the ledge just short of them. A surprised shout; next the crazed mare spots a nearby mailbox, which is promptly flung straight up to hurtle toward Pinkie. Its impact against the rooftop throws up a screenful of dust, which clears to show the blue container firmly embedded in the concrete and no pink pony in sight.)
Rainbow: Pinkie! Where’d she go?
(The answer comes in the form of a bright pink blur streaking up and across the highest reaches of nearby buildings.)
Pinkie: Whee!
Spike: She could be miles away from here by now! Pinkie is Filli-Second, the fastest pony in all of Maretropolis!
(This shot, the first to frame all of him, reveals the blue boots that match his gloves. Now Applejack pulls the rope from her saddlebags and reels it out, finding one end tied into a lasso; with the other end in her teeth, she twirls the loop and lets fly. The rope glows bright yellow as it hisses through the air toward the Mane-iac, who dodges just in time. It instead wraps around the lamppost she had been bracing herself against; when Applejack tries to pull it back, she only gets yanked off the rooftop and out of view. A clang of pony on metal drifts up.)
Applejack: (from o.s.) Whoa!
(Cut to her, now lashed upside down against the post and wondering exactly how she wound up here. Her struggles to break free are for naught; zoom out slightly to frame the Mane-iac looking on. An evil grin turns into a malicious laugh as the camera tilts up to the rooftops.)
Spike: Twilight! Freeze her mane!
Twilight: Do what?
Spike: You’re the Masked Matter-Horn! You can shoot all kinds of crazy power beams from your horn!
(Eyeing the metal-covered appendage with some trepidation, she closes her eyes, conjures an intense blue light at its tip—and then ends up producing only a few snowflakes, to her embarrassment.)
Mane-iac: You know, I’m beginning to enjoy this.
(A fresh round of crazed laughter; up at roof level, the five remaining observers gasp just before a fire hydrant is flung up, scoring a near miss against the ledge.)
Spike: Dash, quick! You’re Zapp, and your superpower is controlling the mighty forces of nature! Un-holster the lightning bolt!
(The blue speedster uneasily eyes the gold pendant around her neck, then gains a little altitude while holding it skyward in her teeth. A few sparks crackle around the tip, coalescing quickly into a mass of electricity-laden storm clouds. The large twister that forms in their midst, though, is evidently not part of the plan if her widening eyes are any indication.)
Spike: Lightning, not a tornado!
(As the freak weather pattern continues to do its thing, Pinkie flashes around the buildings and then streaks back toward her friends. A close-up shows her galloping at somewhere around Mach 5, carrying a tray of cupcakes and wearing a few new accessories: scarf, rabbit ears, M-marked pennant, pair of blue sunglasses whose lenses join together to form that same letter. She eats a cake off the tray, then loses her grip as the tornado begins to take hold of her, causing her hooves to skid on the pavement.)
Pinkie: Whoa!
(Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Spike are quickly sucked in with a round of yells, and Pinkie is last to go, her pink/white streak circling its way up the sides. She loses her newly acquired goodies.)
Pinkie: Whoa!
(One of the cupcakes from her tray sails out and smacks Rainbow in the face.)
Rainbow: Whoa!
(Yanking it away, she too is pulled in with a yell, and the errant funnel cloud starts to work its way toward ground level. Applejack is still tied up on the lamppost and the Mane-iac has taken to playing with the Electro-Orb; inside, five screaming ponies, one dragon, and a lot of debris keep going round and round and round.)
Spike: Fluttershy! You’re Saddle Rager! Lose your temper, and you’ll turn into a huge super-strong monster! (Cut to Fluttershy on the end of this.)
Fluttershy: Oh, gosh! That wouldn’t—be very—polite! (He groans and slaps a hand to his face.)
Spike: Rarity! (pointing at his wrist) Use your jewelry to create attack constructs!
Rarity: What’s an attack construct?
Spike: Just think of something, anything, and your bracelet makes it appear!
(Getting the idea, she points one front hoof ahead of herself, concentrates fiercely to set the bracelet on that limb alight, and conjures up a glowing pink tea set. The pieces are swiftly yanked away by the swirling winds to shatter against Spike’s head.)
Spike: Something useful!
(Street level. The tornado barely misses the Mane-iac, ejecting Spike against the museum wall; once he regains his senses, he realizes that she is negligently holding her stolen prize within easy reach.)
Spike: The Electro-Orb! (She props herself up on her mane/tail.)
Mane-iac: Well, this has been quite the mane-raising experience— (Laugh.) —but I really must be going.
(She lets her eyes spin in their sockets on “mane-raising,” then turns to heave with another laugh after she finishes. Spike manages to lift the Electro-Orb from her grasp without being noticed and sneaks away as best he can, but one misstep brings a blue boot down on the red cape’s hem and sends him stumbling. The device sails away, clunking loudly on the sidewalk before one of those toxic green tresses snakes down and scoops it away to deposit it in her hooves.)
Mane-iac: (mockingly) Why, thank you, Humdrum.
(The accompanying laugh is the loudest and longest of them all as she clears out, eyeing Applejack up close before swinging up and away between the buildings. Spike looks himself over with a sudden burst of sickening realization; zoom in to a close-up.)
Spike: I’m Humdrum? (Wind from o.s.; here comes Rainbow’s tornado.) Oh, no!
(Two pistoning legs are not enough to keep him from being dragged back in, his screams merging with those of the five mares already caught up as they move toward Applejack.)
Spike: Applejack! You gotta—help stop the—tornado from destroying—the city!
Applejack: But every time I move, this dern lasso gets tighter! (She struggles a bit; the loops glow.)
Spike: You’re psychically connected to it! Will it to where you want it to go— (Cut to Applejack; he continues o.s.) —and it’ll obey you!
(The farm pony puts her mind to it, and after a moment the coils release themselves so that she falls loose. Once back on her hooves, she mentally gets her lasso twirling and flips its loop up over the twister’s upper end, cinching it tight. Slowly, unstoppably, the mass of spinning air expands like an overinflated balloon until it bursts, hurling ponies, rubble, and cupcakes all over the block. The five heroes and one sidekick who were inside end up in front of the museum. Rarity has protected herself by creating a platform with a transparent domed cover, and she settles this lot and herself back to the pavement.)
Pinkie: (trotting in place, laughing) That was spin-tastic!
(She races away; Rarity opens her cover, jumps down, and vanishes it and the platform. Here comes Applejack, the lasso back on her belt.)
Applejack: (to Spike) Let me get this straight. We’ve been sucked into some kind of…comic book world?
(Behind the little guy, Twilight is testing her horn, Rainbow is shooting lightning from her pendant, and Rarity has formed a feather duster to brush herself off. As he speaks, Pinkie returns holding a cupcake and starts eating it.)
Spike: Technically, it’s called Maretropolis. And if we want to get back to Ponyville, I think we have to stop the Mane-iac from using her doomsday device to destroy it!
Rainbow: No biggie. I was already awesome. And now we’ve all got superpowers!
Spike: (sighing glumly) Almost all of us have superpowers.
Rarity: (creating a curtain rod, lifting his cape hem with it) But you must have them too, Spikey-boo. (Pinkie zips away.) Your character is wearing a cape. (Rod vanishes.)
Spike: (bitterly) Yeah, for absolutely no reason. He’s pretty much useless. (Twilight steps up behind and pats him on the back.)
Twilight: Good thing you’re not really Humdrum, then.
Spike: Yeah. (forcing a chuckle, wrapping cape around himself) Good thing.
(The pink speed demon returns to the group as Rainbow touches down to stand alongside Applejack.)
Applejack: So the six of us Power Ponies will take care of Mane-iac and get us back to Ponyville.
Twilight: Spike, where is the Mane-iac building her doomsday device?
Spike: Her top-secret headquarters! But you better get there quick. That glowing orb she just stole is what she’s gonna use to power it up!
Applejack: Lead the way, Spike!
Rainbow: Then leave the rest to us!
(The unwilling Humdrum stand-in sighs heavily and plods toward the camera as the view fades to black.)
(Fade in to a neon sign mounted on the upper reaches of a building. It flashes between two pictures: a limp-maned mare standing beneath a bottle, then the same mare with a necklace and well-styled mane as the bottle pours suds over her head. Zoom out to the sound of softly approaching hooves, and stop when Spike and all mares but Pinkie are in view, watching from across the street.)
Spike: (softly) There it is!
Applejack: Is that a… (Pinkie whisks into view.) …shampoo factory?
Twilight: All right, Power Ponies. (Close-up.) Here’s the plan. Rarity, you, me, and—
Rainbow: (from o.s.) Come on out, Mane-iac!
(The goggle-framed eyes turn worriedly toward the street; cut to the blue weather pony, hovering at sign level and addressing the factory.)
Rainbow: Or the Power Ponies are coming in!
(She summons a lightning strike that blows out the sign in a cascade of sparks and nearly takes her out in the bargain.)
Twilight: So much for element of surprise. (All but Spike move out.)
Spike: (to himself) Guess I’ll just hang back here doing nothing.
(Rainbow finishes her light show, which has left the sign a charred wreck.)
Fluttershy: Oh, I don’t think she’s home. Maybe we should just come back later.
(A peal of wild laughter scares her eyes down to pinpoints.)
Rarity: (small voice) She’s home.
(A steel door rolls upward to expose a squad of irate earth pony stallions, all well-dressed and sporting carefully styled manes in a range of cuts and colors.)
Applejack: Time to Power Pony up!
Pinkie: Ooh! Nice catchphrase!
(As the toughs start to charge out of the factory, she zips off one way and Applejack gallops in the opposite direction.)
Twilight: Freeze ray!
(This time, she manages to fire off a beam from her horn, but it ends up only pelting one of the adversaries with a snowball. He shakes this off and resumes his rush, and Rarity—now on a flying carpet she has created—floats over to Twilight’s side.)
Rarity: It’s an improvement, darling.
(Up she goes. Another stallion races toward a smirking Applejack, who nips two of those gold horseshoes from her saddlebags, catches them on a foreleg, and lets fly. They hook around his forelegs, causing him to lose his balance and slide to a painful stop on his belly. Pinkie zips in, carrying a partially eaten cake which she proceeds to wolf down in one bite before a third hench-pony closes on her. She is gone in a blur, then returns from the opposite direction to tap him on the rump; as quickly as he turns around, she is gone again. On her next pass, she gives him several quick pokes back there; for the third, she crouches down and taps the side of his head. By now, his dander is well and truly up, so for her fourth go-round, she smacks him in the face with a banana cream pie. The splatter leaves a banana and two cherries to form a frowning face over his own; she laughs at the sight before streaking away.)
(Elsewhere, Rarity has dispelled the carpet, called up a pair of needles and a length of thread, and put them to work lashing her opponent to the street surface. A large bow finishes the job, but a thud from overhead draws her eyes toward the sky; tilt up quickly to the factory roof. Another stallion is perched on the ledge and kicking at the ruined sign, whose supports give way to send the mass of metal plummeting toward her. Rarity cringes mightily under the growing shadow, then conjures up a giant parasol that catches the sign and heaves it back the way it came. Around her, Pinkie is chomping into a pile of recently procured éclairs, Twilight has frozen her foe into a giant ice cube, and Applejack smirks at the o.s. enemy she tripped while pulling on the free end of her lasso. The return throw crashes into the rooftop stallion’s position before he can get away.)
Rarity: (eyeing one of her bracelets) Ooh, I do so love a functional accessory!
(Yet another of the Mane-iac’s goons charges past behind her, bearing down on Fluttershy. She cowers with a whimper, but is saved when a lightning bolt laces down to crisp her would-be assailant’s coiffure nicely.)
Stallion: (gasping in horror) My hair!
(He gallops away as Fluttershy stands up and Rainbow descends toward her.)
Rainbow: Seriously? You aren’t even just a little angry right now? (Fluttershy shakes her head meekly.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) Nice work, Power Ponies.
(On the second half of this, cut to frame five of the six equine heroes and their defeated foes in the street, and Spike looking on from the sidewalk. The one Twilight froze has thawed out, and both the one Rarity hit with the sign and a second stallion are wrapped up in a rug, one head protruding from each end. Missing is Pinkie, who zooms in a moment later, having disposed of the éclairs she picked up.)
Twilight: Now let’s take care of the Mane-iac and get ourselves home.
Mane-iac: (from o.s.) I don’t think so!
(The emerald tresses wave into view, followed by the rest of the unstable purple mare being lifted high above the street on them.)
Mane-iac: I have a city to destroy, and I’m not about to let the Power Ponies stop me—not this time!
Rainbow: Just watch us!
(Taking her pendant in her teeth, she flies toward the Mane-iac, who lifts a giant aerosol can in her mane and gets one lock poised above its pushbutton.)
Spike: The Hairspray Ray of Doom! It stops you in your tracks and renders your powers useless!
(Pinkie whisks herself away, but Rainbow gets a heavy blast right in the face that leaves her frozen stiff in midair. She hangs there for a moment before thudding down on her side next to Twilight, her pendant rattling against the blacktop. Pan to frame the other three mares, quickly joined by Pinkie.)
Rarity: (viciously) We’ll just see about that!
(She, Twilight, Applejack, and Pinkie gallop in, Applejack preparing her lasso and Twilight firing a horn blast, but the Mane-iac holds her ground and sweeps the block with her spray. The glittering pink clouds fill the screen and dissipate to show the quartet stopped cold just as Rainbow was; due to the placement of Twilight’s front hooves, she topples forward slightly to rest on them. The captured minions, now free, approach the group to the sound of the Mane-iac’s triumphant laughter and completely miss Fluttershy and Spike. The former peeks out from behind a mailbox, whose hatch drops open to reveal the latter’s frightened eyes within before he puts his head out. Fluttershy ducks away again; close-up of Spike.)
Spike: Fluttershy, please! Just a little anger? (Pan to her.)
Fluttershy: Well, I’m not so much angry as I’m concerned— (voice shaking) —bordering on terrified!
(Here comes that spray can, unleashing a squirt to paralyze her, and the Mane-iac reels her in while taking aim at Spike.)
Spike: (cowering) Don’t spray! (She pulls the can away, laughing, and bends down to him.)
Mane-iac: Oh, Humdrum. Why in all of Maretropolis would I use the Hairspray Ray of Doom on you? (scratching his chin) Rather pointless, don’t you think?
(She backs off, laughing again, and she and her underlings haul away six immobilized and panicking heroes. As one stallion passes directly in front of the camera, the view wipes behind him to a long shot of the factory’s open roll-up door; once they are all inside, it comes down with a slam. Only now does Spike climb out of the mailbox and start hustling across the street; he stops short at the sound of a metallic clunk and looks down glumly. Sure enough, he has gotten one foot wedged in a bucket, just as he did during the mares’ castle cleanup in Act One. Snap to black.)
Act Three
(Opening shot: fade in to the exterior of the shampoo factory. Zoom in toward the roof area of one wing and cut to a close-up of an air duct whose vent cover has been removed. Pan to follow its general course toward/through the wall and down toward the production area.)
Spike: (from inside, reverberating slightly) What am I supposed to do? I’m useless. No wonder my friends never need me to do anything important. They’re the ones with the superpowers.
(Head-on close-up of him, crawling along the duct. He has removed the bucket from his foot.)
Spike: They’ve probably already figured out how to escape.
(By the end of this line he has come to a stop—squarely on another vent cover, which begins to creak loudly under his weight. Cut to a stretch of catwalk directly under the duct; the cover gives way, dumping him onto the path. He drags himself up onto the railing, eyes popping wide, and the camera cuts to just behind him and zooms in on the scene. Before him are three large vats of brightly colored liquid just as in his comic book, several hench-ponies standing on the floor near a large tarp-covered object, a suspended cage holding the six mares, the Mane-iac’s giant hairspray can aimed directly at them, and one more stallion at the top of a wheeled staircase and poised by the pushbutton. He is reading a newspaper.)
Spike: Or not.
(In close-up, Twilight begins to recover from the paralyzing effect, managing to narrow her eyes, grimace, and shift a front hoof slightly. The stallion on guard duty looks up from his paper at the sound of the bell on a nearby kitchen timer; this is his cue to give the cage a fresh spritz that leaves her rigid once again. Spike crawls along the catwalk.)
Mane-iac: (from o.s.) Congratulations, Power Ponies! (Laugh; cut to her moving along the floor toward the cage.) You shall live just long enough to see me fire…
(Close-up of one underling near the tarp; he grabs edge in teeth and pulls, exposing the base of a giant object mounted on an elevated swivel base, with a control seat and levers attached behind the breech. On the start of the next line, zoom out to frame the Mane-iac, her servants, and the entire object—a weapon shaped as a giant hair dryer.)
Mane-iac: …the instrument of your destruction!
(Laugh; cut to a close-up of an open port in the base. One green hank of hair reaches into view to plug in the Electro-Orb.)
Mane-iac: (leaning into view; zoom out) Once the Electro-Orb has powered it up completely— (She lifts herself up and slithers around the barrel.) —this cannon will amplify the power of my mane one million times—
(Cut to a slow pan across the motionless, horrified ponies.)
Mane-iac: (from o.s.) —expelling an energy blast that will cause everypony in Maretropolis’ mane to grow wild!
(Laugh; cut back to her, sliding down toward the breech.)
Mane-iac: (pointing toward them with mane) You will be my weapon’s first victims!
(The thing tilts down; back to them.)
Mane-iac: (from o.s., with growing fervor) And there is nopony who can save you from this fate!
(They regain just enough facial control to register varying degrees of anger, annoyance, and wide-eyed horror Now the Mane-iac takes her seat and adjusts the position, laughing all the while, as Spike watches and tries to hide himself behind one of the railing’s supports. The sound of Fluttershy’s throat being cleared from below o.s. snaps him out of it and stops the laughter; cut to her.)
Fluttershy: I don’t mean to interrupt, but aren’t you forgetting about somepony?
Mane-iac: Humdrum? Little guy? No superpowers whatsoever? (Nasty laugh.) He’s utterly useless!
(That gets said little guy’s hackles up, but the sound of the kitchen timer’s bell stops him from acting on it; the stallion on guard duty sprays the cage anew.)
Mane-iac: Puh-lease. (climbing up, walking along barrel) Everypony knows you just keep him around— (baby talk) —because you feel sorry for him. (wiping eye with mane) Waa, waa!
(Back to Spike, who has been cut to the quick by this cheap shot.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) Maybe in your world. (Cut to her.) But in our world, Spike—uh, Humdrum—always comes through when we need him! Always!
(Up above; he smiles and wipes a tear from one eye as various sounds of angry assent float up to him, then stands with fresh resolve.)
Spike: I’m not like Humdrum. When my friends really need me, I do come through—and they need me now.
(Cut briefly to his perspective of the cannon’s base, the three stallions posted around it, and the discarded tarp that had covered it. Back to him; now he smiles with a sudden inspiration, paying no mind to a burst of laughter from the o.s. Mane-iac. On the start of the next line, the camera shifts to just behind him, looking across at her and the captives; he crawls quietly away.)
Mane-iac: I see dementia must be a side effect of prolonged exposure to the Hairspray Ray of Doom. (Laugh; now he sneaks across the floor toward the tarp.) Tonight, we stand upon the brink of immortality, for we collectively—though mostly me—
(Cut to one corner; Spike picks up an edge of the cloth.)
Mane-iac: (from o.s.) —have finally defeated our most hated nemeses! (Her and the minions again; he slips around the latter, pulling the tarp.) We have hurled the brush of badness into the now-fearful face of— (Laugh.) —goodness—
(Back to him on the end of this; finding a hook on the end of a hanging chain, he runs it through a grommet set into the sheet. Now he works his way around the upward-staring stallions, dragging the tarp to encircle them and completely avoiding detection.)
Mane-iac: (from o.s.) —and have struck a blow for freedom in the name of oppression— (He hooks up another grommet; cut to her.) —and nothing will stop us!
(A peal of insane chortling distracts her from seeing that the chain, which runs over a ceiling pulley, has begun to go taut and pull off to one side. The reason for the sudden tension is that Spike is up on a catwalk and using all his strength to push a large crate, now wrapped in the chain’s free end, up onto the railing. One last heave sends it over the edge; the chain’s rattling draws the Mane-iac’s attention to it and then the floor. The tarp is swiftly yanked away, sweeping the floor clean of all the stallions caught in its perimeter, and they end up as a yelling, cloth-covered mass suspended from the pulley.)
(This is the point at which the guard’s kitchen timer rings for a fresh dose of spray. Before he can get to the can, though, he looks ahead with a surprised little neigh—and here comes Spike, swinging in on the chain’s free end to deliver a dead-on flying kick. The impact sends the stallion over the railing, knocking over the can and dislodging the button; its contents spew in all directions and quickly paralyze most of the still-free hench-ponies where they stand.)
Twilight: Way to go, Spike!
(A moment’s strain, and she manages to straighten one foreleg and turn her head with a calculating smile. Rarity is next to start regaining mobility, and with a foreleg moving, she is able to conjure up a huge nail file and project it to one side. Cut to a dumbfounded Mane-iac, who turns her face to avoid being hit by a sudden shower of bar fragments—slashed away by the file—and then backs away quickly. Down below, most of what used to be one cage wall clatters to the floor and the stallions that can still move clear out at high speed. The six unlikely heroes, now all fully able to operate under their own power, stand ready to throw down at the new opening.)
Rainbow: (to Fluttershy) Get mad!
Fluttershy: I’m trying!
(As she strains desperately to summon her inner psychopath, the others descend to the fight—Twilight and Rainbow by flying, Pinkie zipping down, Applejack leaping down, Rarity creating a staircase and hopping daintily from one step to the next.)
Pinkie: (racing around) Tag, you’re it!… Tag, you’re it!… Tag, you’re it!… Tag, you’re it!
(She pushes down a frozen stallion on each of the first two repetitions, stops behind a mobile one on the third, and bugs out on the fourth so that the one trying to tackle her takes out his buddy instead. Cut to the Mane-iac, pointing madly around to follow the sound of Pinkie’s movements.)
Mane-iac: Over there! There, there! Idiots!
(High above the melee, Twilight unloads a shot into the floor that sends a layer of ice radiating out from where it hits. Three charging mooks lose traction and skid into the side of the wheeled staircase, knocking themselves out. Now Rainbow grimaces down at the scene, lightning-bolt pendant crackling in her teeth; this time her eyes briefly flare white as well, and a knot of storm clouds forms at roof level. A couple of thugs hit the brakes, finding themselves in the path of a well-controlled tornado, and have no time to find safety before it vacuums them up. Several more get the same treatment in short order.)
Rainbow: Need a place to put these guys!
(So Rarity stops gliding across the iced floor on the skates she has made for herself, dispels them, and quickly calls forth a giant, ornate birdcage. This is placed on an unoccupied patch of floor, two others appearing alongside it, and two or more toughs are quickly thrown into each and the doors slammed behind them. Pinkie zips past the cages and buzzes another one who is making a break for an exit door where several have gathered; by the time he arrives, he is liberally splattered with cupcakes from a warp-speed baked-goods assault. Their frantic pounding at the door brings Applejack on the trot, lasso at the ready as Pinkie whisks two more off their hooves.)
Applejack: Hold it right there, pardner!
(One accurate throw drops the loop around the whole bunch and cinches it tight; she then directs her thoughts toward the ceiling, and they are quickly hoisted up. The free end wraps around a beam and ties itself off, leaving both the captives and a couple of onlookers wondering just how their leader’s plan could go so far off the rails. The latter gallop away as if trying to stay ahead of an Ursa Minor.)
(Spike surveys the scene contentedly from the top of the wheeled staircase, but suddenly realizes that one pony is conspicuous by her absence. He addresses himself over the other side.)
Spike: Fluttershy… (Cut to just behind him; he has spotted her trying to slip away.) …where are you going?
Fluttershy: You seem to have everything under control.
Spike: Fluttershy, we need you! (Cut to the Mane-iac at the cannon controls; he continues o.s.) You have to power up!
(Her attention fully engaged, the Mane-iac starts to make adjustments. Cut to her perspective through the cannon’s sighting scope, which tilts to frame the timid pegasus on the start of the next line.)
Fluttershy: I’m sorry. It’s just that nothing is making me mad.
(A firefly flits into view, blocking the Mane-iac’s clear shot at Fluttershy. Back to the crazed mare; the eye she has at the scope pops in annoyed surprise, and a lock of mane lashes through the sighting aperture to whip the insect away. It smacks hard into a wall and tumbles to the floor, its light flickering; Fluttershy hurries over to it.)
Fluttershy: Oh, goodness! Are you okay?
(It lifts its head weakly—and now, only now, does the reluctant yellow defender start to boil over as she turns back toward the Mane-iac.)
Fluttershy: Are you kidding me? (crossing floor) I mean, I know you’re evil and everything, but you’d hurt a teensy little harmless firefly? Really?!?
(Cut to a puzzled Mane-iac, leaning forward over the controls.)
Fluttershy: (from o.s.) Why, you’re just a great big MEANIE!
(That gets the villain just a bit scared; now the pitch of Fluttershy’s voice starts to work its way down by steps as her anger keeps building and veins start to bulge on her head and neck.)
Fluttershy: There! I said it! What makes you think you’re so special?
(As she continues, her eyes burn red and the camera shifts to frame the new muscles bulging from her legs—which have gone a deeper shade of yellow and start to rip through her outfit.)
Fluttershy: Like the rules and common courtesy don’t apply to you? (Her back bulks up and darkens next.) Why don’t you pick on somepony your own size?!?
(As she finishes, the lacy scarf snaps and the camera zooms out to frame all of her new form: same deeper yellow all around, grown to the approximate weight and bulk of a small elephant, bodysuit badly ripped from the sudden growth, and just plain boiling mad. She lets go with a roar that shakes the entire factory and throws the fear of Celestia into her equine friends, but Spike just pumps his fist fiercely at the sound of it. The Mane-iac gapes from her seat and starts hammering furiously at the cannon’s controls. A beam lances down from the muzzle, scoring a direct hit on the yellow behemoth—and having no effect whatever. A roar sends the blast rebounding back into the Mane-iac’s face, knocking her from the perch with a yell.)
(She has not even hit the floor before Fluttershy leaps onto the breech, wasting not a moment in smashing and tearing the cannon to pieces. Five disbelieving ponies and one dragon gather to watch, debris raining down around them; after nearly ten seconds of crazed demolition, Fluttershy stops dead, a hunk of metal clamped in her teeth.)
Fluttershy: Huh?
(She spits it out and smiles sheepishly, tapping her front hooves together; cut to the others. The sound of crackling electricity makes itself clearly heard.)
Mane-iac: (from o.s., anguished) My mane!
(Cut to her, hopelessly caught up in a thicket of writhing, snapping, sparking mane/tail locks.)
Mane-iac: (wailing, slowly being wrapped up) MY MANE!!
(Words give way to frighteningly unhinged laughter as she thuds to the floor, now securely cocooned from neck to hooves in her own green hair. She starts to flop around like a fish at the bottom of a rowboat.)
Spike: Once again, the day is saved by…
(Fluttershy’s eyes have resumed their normal color by this point. He never gets to finish the proclamation, as a spot of blazing white light appears above the stupendous seven and sucks them all away before disappearing. After their yells of surprise fade away, no trace is left of their presence.)
(Cut to the hidden library room in the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters and zoom out from the stand on which Spike’s comic book rests. The periodical floats up and opens, a second light spot appearing to eject the Ponyville bunch onto the floor in a heap. They are out of their superhero attire and back to their normal appearances. Just as quickly as it appeared, the light vanishes and the book plops back onto its stand. A scramble of relieved voices is heard as they disentangle themselves, but at the center of it all, Spike just settles for wiping his forehead in relief. On the start of the next line, cut from him to Rainbow, hovering above Applejack and gesturing excitedly to mark her words.)
Rainbow: Did you see how I was raining down a storm of justice at the end there?
Applejack: You catch how I was wieldin’ that lasso? (Pinkie whips over to Twilight/Fluttershy/Rarity, holding up a tray of…)
Pinkie: Cupcakes?
Rarity: How did you—
Pinkie: Eh, we had a good half-second before we got sucked back out of the comic, and the Maretropolis Bakery was only sixty-five blocks away!
Spike: (crossing to pillows in the corner) I’m just glad to be back. (He flops down on his back.)
Twilight: (crossing to him) We wouldn’t have made it without you, Spike. And I hope you realize that just because we don’t always need your help, it doesn’t mean that we don’t think you’re helpful. (He sits up.)
Spike: And that you don’t have to have superpowers to be a super friend. (General assent from all but Twilight; Pinkie no longer has the cupcakes.)
Twilight: (cocking an eyebrow) But I do have one question. Where exactly did you get that comic book?
Spike: This one I got in Canterlot at the House of Enchanted Comics.
(Puzzled glances pass between the six mares, then become slightly irritated as they train themselves on him.)
Spike: Well, I didn’t know it meant they were literally enchanted.
(Ire gives way to amusement, and Twilight allows herself a weary little head shake as the other five laugh gently. All six head past him and out of the room.)
Spike: I thought it just meant, like, the comics they sold there had really enchanting storylines! (now alone) Hey! Wait up! (running after them) I’m an important part of this team, remember?
(Unseen by dragon or pony, the comic book is suddenly enveloped by a flare of white and vanishes. Fade to black.)
BATS!
Written by Merriwether Williams
Produced by Sarah Wall, Devon Cody
Story editing by Meghan McCarthy
Supervising direction by Jayson Thiessen
Co-directed by Jim Miller
Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)
Note: The on-screen credits of the original airing erroneously list Meghan McCarthy as
the writer.
Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to a tract of Sweet Apple Acres orchard land at sunrise, every tree fully loaded with fruit. Pan slightly to frame Applejack crouched on an overlooking hill.)
Applejack: Any minute now…
(As she tenses for action, the first morning rays wash over the orchard and a rooster’s crow makes itself heard loud and clear.)
Applejack: (rearing up) Yee-haa! It’s officially applebuckin’ day! (trotting among trees) Look at all those apples—ripe and juicy! Perfect for buckin’!
(The orange-tan hind legs come up and solidly make contact with a trunk, and a shower of apples in all colors tumbles down around her in slow motion. She lifts her head and forelegs, lost in the moment’s bliss, and lets one particularly red specimen drop toward her raised hooves. Normal speed resumes when it touches them, disintegrating into a spatter of pulp that ruins the farmer’s good mood in a heartbeat. In less time than it takes to say “puree,” shriveled apples rain down all around her.)
Applejack: What the heck is goin’ on?
(Overhead shot; she looks up with a shocked gasp.)
Applejack: They’re back!
(Zoom out and stop among the leaves. A bat-shaped silhouette flits across the screen, followed by a cloud of them dense enough to black out the view altogether.)
OPENING THEME
Act One
(Opening shot: fade in to a close-up of the belfry above the main Sweet Apple Acres barn. It is later in the morning, and the bell is ringing wildly. On the start of the next line, zoom out to a long shot that frames the barnyard, Applejack standing at the doors, and her five friends and Spike racing onto the property. The blond mare has cleaned the goop from her hooves.)
Applejack: ATTENTION! THIS IS A SWEET APPLE ACRES CODE RED! I NEED ALL HOOVES—AND CLAWS—ON DECK!
(They reach her and the bell stops ringing as she finishes.)
Rarity: Calm down, Applejack! (Applejack gets in her face.)
Applejack: Calm down? (backing her up) How can I calm down at a time like this? Vampire fruit bats are attackin’ Sweet Apple Acres! (She paces past Twilight Sparkle.)
Twilight: But I thought the fruit bats usually stayed put in the west orchard.
Applejack: The fruit bats do… (pacing a bit) …but these aren’t just your everyday ordinary fruit bats.
(She stops, the light around her going dim to leave her standing in an ominous spot.)
Applejack: They’re vampire fruit bats! (Start pacing; light comes up.) I’ll be derned if they think they’re gonna sink their fangs into my blue-ribbon apple!
(By the end of this, she has stopped by the fence, the edge of a tarp barely in view and covering something quite large. This is nipped and yanked away to expose said something as a tree bearing a single apple that is perhaps half a head taller than she is. The gargantuan fruit rests on the ground, its weight causing the tree’s upper portion to bend 90 degrees. It sparkles in the light, eliciting a round of appreciative responses from the others.)
Applejack: This here’s our entry into the Appleloosa State Fair’s produce competition. (She breathes on a patch of skin and polishes it with her tail.) You know how much TLC goes into gettin’ an apple to grow like this?
(Close-up of the spot as she finishes, pulling her tail away to expose the reflection of the approaching Rarity.)
Rarity: Applejack! (admiring her image) When you go big, you really go big!
Applejack: Them vampire bats want to shrivel it up like a raisin. (Fluttershy flies over to her.)
Fluttershy: Oh, I’m sure if we just let them know how special that particular apple is to you, they’ll leave it alone.
Applejack: (sarcastically) Yeah, right. Be my guest.
(The yellow pegasus beams at the suggestion, completely missing the tone of these words. Wipe to a stretch of bat-infested trees, the grass around their trunks littered with ruined apples; Fluttershy flies into view and lands in front of them.)
Fluttershy: Um, excuse me? Mr. Vampire Bat?
(Another wrecked fruit is thrown down, barely missing as it goes splat.)
Fluttershy: We were just wondering if maybe— (hastily) —you wouldn’t mind leaving that really big apple alone?
(Her best “pretty please” grin is met with dead silence for a moment, followed by a machine-gun barrage of apple seeds spat into her face. Fluttershy gallops away with a shudder; cut to her returning to Applejack, a few seeds stuck in her mane.)
Applejack: Well? (Fluttershy wipes herself clean.) What’d he say?
Fluttershy: Um, yes.
Applejack: (smiling) Huh?
Fluttershy: But it could’ve been a no. (Applejack groans disgustedly.) This is the first vampire fruit bat I’ve ever met, and, well, it might take some time for me to really understand their language.
Applejack: Uh-huh. And in the meantime, this pest and his vermin friends are gonna go after my prized apple—and while they’re at it, every other apple in the orchard! These vampire bats are nothin’ but a buncha monsters!
Fluttershy: (taken aback) Monsters? Oh, that’s a bit harsh, don’t you think? (Applejack gets in her face.)
Applejack: No, I do not.
Ominous woodwind/string melody with chimes and timpani, moderate 4 (B flat minor)
(The camera swivels quickly behind the pair to frame the trees they are both looking at, and the bats filling one of them scatter into a red-eyed swarm. One swoops toward the camera and up/away; behind it, the trees become gnarled and ravaged and the entire view takes on a gloomy, blighted appearance.)
Applejack: Those vampire bats will give you a fright
(to Twilight, Spike) Eatin’ apples both day and night
They rest for a minute, maybe three
Then they’re eatin’ every apple in your apple tree
(She gestures off to one side, the camera panning in that direction to stop on a tree that is swiftly picked nearly clean by two bats. A third puts its head out from the leaves and bites into one of the last apples, sucking it dry and spitting the drained husk so that it bounces across the grass to stop at Applejack’s hooves; she crushes it.)
Applejack: They don’t care about nada
(to Rarity, Pinkie) Not zilch, no, nothin’
(gesturing about; bats fly up from trees, leaving the limbs bare)
’Cept bringin’ about an orchard’s destruction
(One flies past the camera and away; now Fluttershy crosses to Applejack and lays a hoof on her shoulder. The focus softens and the normal colors resume.)
Gentler style, percussion out (modulate to E flat minor)
Fluttershy: Now wait just a minute, there’s another side to this
And if I did not defend them, then I would be remiss
(Two bats are seen in full light—similar to ordinary bats except for their large eyes, long fangs, and leaf-veined ears. One cradles a baby.)
Fluttershy: These bats are mamas and papas too
(The young one flies up and nestles in Fluttershy’s mane as she arrives on the scene.)
They care for their young just like we ponies do
(It nuzzles her cheek happily. Back to the rest of the group, the gloomy color scheme taking hold again and the soft focus ending.)
Transition to original style, percussion returning
Brass accents on Applejack’s lines throughout remainder of song
Applejack: Oh, gimme a break, you’re bein’ too kind
These creatures have a one-track mind
(Tilt quickly up to a bat—rather less cuddly-looking than the ones Fluttershy envisioned—seated at a table on a branch and ready to dig into an apple placed on it.)
The orchard is not their restaurant
(Another one flies up and grabs the meal away; the thwarted diner gives chase with a yowl.)
But do they ever think what others may want?
Modulate to B flat minor
No, they don’t, and that is just a fact
(She crosses to the two bats, now having a tug-of-war over the apple on the path.)
These bats, they simply don’t know how to act
(Knock it out of their grip; they fly away. As Fluttershy sings, the colors brighten again and the focus softens as before.)
Gentler style, percussion out
Fluttershy: That’s where I have to disagree
(Tilt up quickly to the cute bat couple from her last verse, holding an apple between them.)
They’re loyal to their family
(They bite; the apple bursts in a hail of seeds that drift down over the orchards.)
Spreading seeds both far and wide
Original style, percussion returning (D flat minor)
(Pan quickly to Applejack, holding up a blanket behind herself and spreading it like a pair of bat wings; the gloomy color scheme returns.)
Applejack: You see one comin’, you’d better run and hide
(She sweeps the cloth past the camera; behind it, the view wipes to a long shot of her addressing all but Fluttershy. The sky has gone red, and a giant, red-eyed bat silhouette looms up over the fence, matching her movements.)
D minor
Applejack: They’re big, and ugly, and mean as sin
(Another sweep clears the red sky to show the stricken apple trees.)
Will you look at the state my trees are in?
Gentler feel
(Fluttershy flies over as a new tree sprouts up and develops a crop of apples.)
Fluttershy: They help your trees, they’ll grow stronger faster
Original feel
(A swing of Applejack’s hoof, and the new tree falls backward as if made of cardboard.)
Applejack: They’ve turned my life to a total disaster
E flat minor
(Now Rarity paces a circle around Fluttershy.)
Rarity: Well, I for one don’t have a doubt
These vermin must be stamped right out
(Rainbow Dash swoops down.)
Rainbow: I second that, they’ve got to go
These bats, they’ve got to hit the road
(Applejack advances toward the camera, having disposed of her blanket.)
Modulate to B flat minor
Applejack: It comes down to just one simple fact
They’ve crossed the line, it’s time to fight them back
(Fluttershy soon finds herself ringed in by the other five mares.)
C minor; first syllable of the following falls on the same beat as “back”
Other mares: Stop the bats, stop the bats
Make them go and not come back
Stop the bats, stop the bats
Make them go and not come back
E flat minor
(Cut from one singer to another during the next two lines.)
Stop the bats, stop the bats
Make them go and not come back
Modulate to B flat minor
(Applejack backs Fluttershy down into a scared, shivering crouch.)
Applejack: Yes, it comes down to just one simple fact
They’ve crossed the line, it’s time that we attack
Song ends with a pair of stingers (the five nod resolutely in time with the second one)
(The landscape returns to its normal color as a shadow extends over the cringing yellow animal lover. She opens her eyes and finds that it belongs to Rarity, who helps her up off the dirt.)
Rarity: I’m sorry, Fluttershy, but I believe Applejack has made the better argument. These vampire fruit bats sound downright dreadful! (Zoom out slightly.)
Applejack: (pacing in foreground) So let’s get to roundin’ ’em up so that they don’t destroy the rest of my orchard.
Pinkie: (hopping past, to the tune of the chorus in the “Winter Wrap Up” song, A flat major)
Fruit bat roundup, fruit bat roundup
Fluttershy: Um, excuse me, but, um, what if instead of rounding them up, we…let them have part of the orchard?
(The rest of the group stops in its collective tracks, Applejack voicing a surprised little neigh before they round on Fluttershy.)
Applejack: Have you lost your pest-lovin’ mind?
Fluttershy: They’re only here because they’re hungry. If we built a sanctuary for them, they could have their own apples to enjoy. (Applejack starts to mull this over.) After a while, they could even help the rest of your orchard! (walking past her) The vampire bats don’t eat the seeds of the apples, and when they spit them out, they grow into even more productive apple trees.
(On the end of this, the camera zooms out slightly to frame the tree she has reached—lush and greed and laden with a fresh crop.)
Applejack: (crossing yard to her) Listen, Fluttershy. That sounds real nice and all, but every second we spend buildin’ this so-called sanctuary is a second they’ll spend destroyin’ orchard! (Zoom out; the others join them.) You don’t know what it was like the last time there was an infestation. (Close-up.) But Granny Smith has told me enough stories about it— (Zoom in slowly.) —that just the thought of it gives me nightmares.
(Wavering dissolve to a close-up of an empty bucket on the ground. The scene is sepia-toned and dark around the edges of the screen, as if this were part of an old movie, and the sound of a running film projector underscores this feel. An apple drops into the bucket; cut to a longer shot of the area. Young Granny Smith and her parents stand at a path running alongside one of their orchards; before them are her cousin Apple Rose and another family member, each carrying buckets in their teeth. Mr. Smith stands next to a bag of apples on the ground, in front of a bare produce counter, and doles out the fruit as the camera zooms out. The trees behind them look as bad as the ones that formed the backdrop for Applejack’s song.)
Applejack: (voice over) Granny says we lost a huge section of orchard that year. They had to ration out apples all winter.
(A second such dissolve back to the here and now puts the focus on Rainbow.)
Rainbow: What about the cider? There was still cider, right?
Applejack: (emphasizing each word) Not a drop. (Rainbow lunges down into her face.)
Rainbow: No cider? (Turn to Fluttershy.) No cider?!?
(Still remembering the shortage of “The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000,” perhaps. Cut to Twilight/Pinkie/Rarity/Spike looking on.)
Rainbow: (from o.s.) We need to round up these monsters— (Pan/tilt up to her, hovering overhead.) —and we need to do it now!
Applejack: If Granny Smith wasn’t with Apple Bloom and Big Mac checkin’ out our produce competition in Appleloosa— (Fluttershy lets her head drop, crushed.) —she’d be here tellin’ us to do just that! (Twilight approaches the pegasus.)
Twilight: I’m sorry, Fluttershy, but I think Applejack is right. I just wish there was another way we could convince them not to eat them in the first place.
(A moment’s thought sets off a brainstorm under the streaked dark blue mane, and she smiles shrewdly as the camera zooms in.)
Twilight: Maybe there is.
(Dissolve to a long shot of the library and zoom in slowly.)
Twilight: (from inside) So, there’s good news and bad news.
(Inside the reading room. Several books lie open on the floor around her, and Applejack, Rainbow, Rarity, and Spike are on hand as well.)
Twilight: The good news is that I found a spell that can get the vampire fruit bats to stop wanting to suck the juice from the apples.
(On the second half of this line, she floats one volume up for a closer look. Now the camera cuts to Fluttershy, standing off by herself and not looking too comfortable.)
Twilight: (crossing to her) But in order for the spell to work, I need the bats’ full and complete attention. (Fluttershy’s eyes pop, followed by a gasp.)
Fluttershy: Oh, no.
Twilight: Fluttershy, I need you to do your Stare on the bats.
Fluttershy: Oh, gosh. I don’t know. (Rainbow whooshes across to her.)
Rainbow: What’s the problem? You’ve used the Stare plenty of times before.
Fluttershy: Yes, but it’s not something I take lightly. I’ve made a vow not to use it except in dire circumstances. (Zoom out slightly; Applejack has joined them.)
Applejack: This circumstance is plenty dire to me!
Rainbow: Me too! (She half-crumples to the ground, eyes open and staring.) Think of the cider. (half-sobbing) Won’t somepony please think of the cider?
(The other three—Twilight, Applejack, Fluttershy—aim very funny looks down at her during a beat of silence before Fluttershy speaks up.)
Fluttershy: I’m sorry. I just don’t like the idea of taking away the thing that really makes the vampire fruit bats… (leaning toward Applejack) …vampire fruit bats! (emphasizing every word) It just feels wrong!
Twilight: But if we don’t do this, there won’t be any apples left for anypony here in Ponyville. Doesn’t that feel wrong too?
(The camera zooms slowly in on Fluttershy, at the center of the group, as the blue-green eyes flick indecisively from one side to the other. Her face betrays just how torn she is between the two options before the view snaps to black.)
Act Two
(Opening shot: fade in to the six mares and one dragon outside the Sweet Apple Acres barn. Fluttershy stands at a distance facing a line of the others and steps very slowly toward them.)
Applejack: So what’s it gonna be, Fluttershy? Will you do your Stare on the bats or not?
Fluttershy: Um…um… (Head droops resignedly.) …okay, I’ll do it.
Rarity: Good choice. I knew you wouldn’t side with those icky bats. (Shudder of revulsion; close-up of Fluttershy.)
Fluttershy: (under her breath) They’re not icky. (Tilt up to Rainbow, soaring to perch on the belfry, on the following.)
Rainbow: First round of cider’s on me!
Applejack: (now o.s.) Hold it right there.
(Cut to just behind the vexed blue pegasus, glaring down at the rest of the bunch.)
Applejack: We gotta round up these beasts with wings first. (Close-up.) Time’s a-wastin’.
(Wipe to a close-up of Pinkie getting a band of yellow cloth tied around her forehead by the farm pony. Some sort of leafy garnish hangs down into view from above its upper edge, and the camera tilts up to show that it is holding a pile of apples in place above the fluffy magenta mane, including the leaves still attached to the stems. The pink pony hops merrily into the orchard, bats slumbering upside down on nearly every branch—but not for long. Within seconds, the creatures have woken up, exposing beady black eyes with red-tinted whites, and started after the mobile fruit salad with gusto.)
(One of them passes in front of the camera; behind the trailing edges of its wings, the view wipes to Rarity walking cautiously toward a tree, a butterfly net held in her magical grip. The prim unicorn is dressed in a full-body protective suit, complete with respirator and a biohazard symbol on the haunch; it even covers the full length of her tail. Rarity’s breaths hiss through the equipment as she reaches the tree and floats her net upward, swinging at a sleeping bat and missing. Her next try whacks the branches, waking it up with a screech and knocking an apple loose; the fruit hits her face shield and bursts in a pulpy splatter, and the bat is after it in an instant. Rarity lets off one cry of terror before the view shifts to her perspective; she screams and flails about as the bat eagerly licks up the gunk. Her voice is slightly muffled by the face shield.)
Rarity: Ew! Ew! (Back to her.) Ewwwww!
(She gallops away in a full panic, taking this bat with her and being chased by quite a few others ready for a snack. Cut to another tree; one bat, standing upright on its branch, lashes out its tongue, drags an apple into its mouth, and swiftly sucks it dry. The shriveled thing is dropped and the seeds spat out before Rainbow’s multicolored blur flashes up and o.s., sweeping the branches clear of fauna.)
Rainbow: (from o.s.) Gotcha!
(Cut to a long shot of her in mid-hover, the bats scooped up in one foreleg, and zoom out to frame the nearby trees. She zips from one to the next, scooping up every bat she can reach in a lot less than ten seconds flat. At ground level, a giggling Pinkie hops along, the apples on her head drawing a line of bats, and dumps them at the base of a tree in whose branches a full basket has been placed. She trots away, still laughing, and the encroachers start to gorge themselves on the feast she has left for them as Rarity races screaming past. The bats following her peel off to go after the pile of apples, and a longer shot of the tree shows every branch to be stocked with baskets full of fruit courtesy of Twilight and Fluttershy. After the winged unicorn sets one last container in place, both of them clear out and a multicolored tornado closes in fast. It settles down around the tree and resolves into Rainbow, who has neatly delivered her captives to the bonanza in the branches. The others gather around, Rarity now out of her biohazard suit and Pinkie no longer wearing her headband. Cut to the branches; one bat starts to flutter away, but a dirty look from Rainbow is enough to change its mind.)
Applejack: (from o.s.) Good work, everypony! (Cut to her and the group.) I think we got ’em all! (Fluttershy is clearly uneasy; Applejack turns to her.) Now all we need is for you to do your Stare.
Fluttershy: Um…oh…are you sure I really need—
(She gets a round of nods from the five observers.)
Fluttershy: (approaching tree) Okay.
(Cut to the bats munching away in the boughs and tilt down to frame her hovering nearby.)
Fluttershy: I really, really, really hate to do this to you. (voice trembling) I just hope you can forgive me.
(She closes her eyes, focusing all her concentration behind the lowered lids, and opens them to project every scrap of it through the blue-green irises. The bats cease their gluttonous activity, every beady black eye training itself on her; a few half-hearted hisses are all they get out before they are completely cowed.)
Applejack: Good…now you go, Twilight.
Twilight: All right.
(She steps up, lowers her head, and lets her horn blaze at full intensity so that her spell envelops the bats at all the containers in the branches. The pile around the base of the trunk is gone, as are the diners who feasted on it. The invading pests are caught helpless in the combination of Twilight’s magic and Fluttershy’s Stare, and after several seconds the former winds down in close-up. She looks up with a satisfied smile, then off to one side with sudden concern; zoom out to frame Fluttershy, her eyes still fixed in the direction of the tree.)
Twilight: You can stop Staring, Fluttershy!
(Who does not immediately acknowledge the request, but instead concentrates even harder and even starts to sweat a bit. Snapping out of it at last, she glances down toward ground level; cut to Applejack, Pinkie, Rarity, and Spike.)
Spike: Did it work?
Applejack: Only one way to find out for sure.
(She flips a nod upward, which Rainbow returns. As one bat gradually lets its head clear, the pegasus leans in close and holds out an apple; the leathery mammal sniffs at the offering, then turns away disgustedly and flies off.)
Rainbow: (laughing, dropping apple) Yeah! Woo!
Applejack: My crop is saved! (rearing up) Yee-haa! (Rainbow descends toward her.)
Rainbow: We’ll be drinking cider all winter long! (Twilight and Fluttershy cross to them.)
Applejack: I want to thank you for your help. (Close-up of Fluttershy; she continues o.s.) I couldn’t have done it without you.
Spike: (walking past) Ah, don’t mention it, Applejack. It was my pleasure, really. (A round of funny looks at his back.)
Applejack: (moving off with the others) Now all we gotta do is sweep up these cores so I can start buckin’ fresh tomorrow mornin’.
(Fluttershy hangs back a bit in close-up, pausing to sniff the air, and glances back behind herself. Zoom out to put a bright red apple in the fore, resting on the grass and getting every bit of her attention.)
(Dissolve to a close-up of Applejack standing among the trees. It is now just before sunrise of the following day.)
Applejack: Applebuckin’ day, take two.
(She watches the first light rise over the distant hills and tenses for action, having taken up her overlooking spot as in the prologue. Here comes the rooster’s crow.)
Applejack: (rearing up) Yee-haa! (trotting through orchard) Time to collect those juicy sweet apples.
(Just as before, the orange-tan rear hooves slam into a trunk. The mare attached to them grins expectantly upward, but the sound of a single object falling and splatting on the ground takes the wind out of her sails in a hurry. Wipe to a close-up of the decrepit fruit, as shriveled and spoiled as all the others ruined by the bats, and zoom out slightly as Twilight leans down to inspect it.)
Twilight: The spell didn’t work! (Applejack ditto.)
Applejack: You’re darn tootin’ the spell didn’t work! (Longer shot; all six mares and Spike are gathered here.) I think we’re gonna have to take more extreme measures!
Rainbow: I hear you, Applejack! Come on, everypony! (She flies off; others follow.) Let’s track down those vampire bats!
(All stop near a stand of trees in which the bats are roosting, but a pan through the branches discloses the interlopers’ utter lack of interest in the produce hanging within easy reach. One is even sitting on an apple and reading a magazine; when Rainbow offers a fresh one, it is knocked away with a nasty look. She winces at the sound of its o.s. impact; down below, both Applejack and Rarity are mildly shocked to see that it has impaled itself on the latter’s horn.)
Applejack: Wait a minute. (Rarity floats the apple loose…) I don’t think these bats are the ones that sucked my apples dry. (…and lets it fall.)
Rarity: But if the vampire bats aren’t eating your apples… (Zoom out slightly; Twilight joins them.)
Twilight: …who is? (addressing herself o.s.) Fluttershy, you’re our animal expert. (Cut to Fluttershy; she continues o.s.) Do you know of any other creature that might be capable of this?
Fluttershy: I’m sorry. I don’t. (Rainbow descends toward the group.)
Twilight: Well, there’s only one way to find out. We’ll have to catch whoever it is in the act.
Rarity: And how do you propose we do that?
Twilight: (smiling shrewdly) A stakeout!
(Dissolve to a close-up of the full moon in the night sky, with a few wisps of cloud drifting lazily past as the wind moans in the distance. Rainbow flies up into view; as she speaks, zoom out to frame the seven aspiring vigilantes in the orchards.)
Rainbow: (eerily) The witching hour!
(Only a few lonely animal sounds greet this proclamation as they look around.)
Fluttershy: Maybe we should just call this off. I’m not sure about the rest of you guys, but I’m… (half-dazed, looking off to one side) …really…hungry.
(One bright red apple on a branch has drawn her gaze, glowing faintly in the moonlight; in close-up, her jaw hangs wide open, a few dribbles of saliva oozing down her chin as her irises/pupils constrict. After some entranced seconds, she recovers herself and turns to face forward, the camera panning to frame Rarity on the start of the next line.)
Rarity: (gently) Oh, Fluttershy, it’ll be okay. Don’t forget, darling, we’re all in this together. (Pan to frame the rest of the group.)
Twilight: (with determination) That’s right. Nopony leaves this orchard until we solve this mystery. Agreed?
All others: Agreed! (They start ahead.)
Applejack: Does everypony have their pony signal?
(Twilight and Rarity cast beams upward from their horns; tilt up quickly into the sky, where each is projecting a spot of light onto the clouds that displays her own cutie mark. Pinkie dips her head briefly and comes up with a lit flashlight gripped in her forelock, angling it to beam her own cutie-marked light overhead.)
Applejack: Now remember, Pinkie Pie. Only use the signal if you see somethin’ suspicious. (Pinkie swings the light directly into her face for a moment.)
Pinkie: I got it! (Applejack shakes her head clear of the glare and falls.) Something suspicious.
(Zoom in to an extreme close-up of the narrowed blue eyes, which dart this way and that and then pop wide open, then cut to Fluttershy sniffing at an apple. The beam of Pinkie’s flash falls over her face, distracting her; zoom out to frame both mares.)
Pinkie: Whatcha doing?!?
(The pegasus has no immediate response, but snaps out of her reverie with a head shake and trots off. Pinkie follows, turning off her light and tucking it back into her mane. As all continue their patrol, Twilight and Rarity are seen to have extinguished their horns.)
Applejack: All right, now everypony split up. (They go through an open gate.) We’ll each patrol our own row of the orchard. (Head-on view, zooming out.) Whoever—or whatever’s destroyin’ my apples has gotta be here somewhere.
(Rarity advances warily through the grove, joined first by Spike and then Twilight as the camera pans to follow them. Behind the trailing edge of one tree, the view wipes to a pan past a hard-faced Applejack and Pinkie, with Fluttershy moving off in a slightly different direction from them.)
Fluttershy: I have a bad feeling about this—a really bad feeling about this.
(She glances upward and stops; cut to her perspective of an apple hanging several feet up.)
Fluttershy: That apple… (It goes a brighter red.) …it looks…
(Close-up; she starts to drool copiously, the camera zooming in slowly on her mouth.)
Fluttershy: (voice quivering) …so juicy… (Irises go red.) …and sweet…
(Out comes her tongue to lick her chops—and one upper tooth lengthens into a pointed fang. Cut to Pinkie on the move; the sound of a bite and slurp, and the passage of a silhouette near the camera, stop her in her tracks and set her eyes darting back and forth.)
Pinkie: What was that?
(She sucks in a gasp and leans down to scrutinize a freshly wrecked apple for a long moment. The eyes flick toward it, then up, then down again, and she snaps upright with a huge smile.)
Pinkie: Suspicious! (Giggle; she tosses her head, ejecting the flashlight from her mane.) It’s pony signal time!
(That dark shape whips past again with a hiss, distracting her long enough so that the light hits the ground instead of being caught in her forelock. Cut to a close-up of Rarity’s moving hooves and tilt up to her apprehensive countenance; a shadow passes over her.)
Rarity: (voice shaking a bit) Who’s there?
(The silhouette crosses overhead, now seen to be rather larger than any of the bats but still having a general outline similar to theirs.)
Rarity: (trying to reassure herself) Oh, well, there’s obviously no need to worry about that shadowy figure overhead.
(It makes another pass, this one so low that she has to duck in order to avoid a collision between the flyer and her head.)
Rarity: (small voice) Or maybe there is! (hurrying away) I think I’ll just go see how Rainbow Dash is doing.
(Wipe to the pony in question, flapping slowly through a stretch of trees. The mystery aviator’s shadow passes over her and ahead.)
Rainbow: (unnerved) Uh…who’s there?
(No response except for the wind stirring a few dead leaves—and an inky figure standing in repose among the shadowy underbrush.)
Rainbow: Answer me, or you’ll regret it!
(A closer shot of the figure exposes a rough pony shape with mane/tail cut short and a hat apparently stuffed with straw.)
Rainbow: (from o.s.) Fine. (Back to her.) Have it your own way!
(Backing up in midair to build up steam, she flashes across the clearing.)
Rainbow: (tackling it o.s.) Take that!
(She comes up halfway to a standing position as bits of straw flutter down around her.)
Rainbow: You…you…you…
(Fury evaporates into a puzzled little stutter; cut to her perspective of the “foe”—actually an overall-clad…)
Rainbow: …you…scarecrow?
(Long shot of her, regarding the trashed dummy with an embarrassed little groan. In the fore, a second black shape hangs into view from above and whisks away without being spotted. Behind it, the view wipes to the full moon and starless night sky and zooms out to frame Twilight on her rounds. A bird’s cry startles a soft gasp out of her; she looks back over her shoulder, the camera panning quickly to reveal the owl responsible. As it sits stolidly on its branch, a spot of light showing Applejack’s cutie mark throws itself onto the clouds. Twilight takes note and moves out, and the camera cuts to the blond farmer staring straight ahead, eyes popping and jaw hanging slack. The flashlight she used to throw her signal stands upright on the ground nearby. Loud slurping sounds are heard from above.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) Applejack! (Zoom out; she arrives on the scene.) What is it?
(A used apple is thrown down, bouncing off her head and drawing her eyes toward its source. Tilt up to frame the suspended silhouette that Rainbow failed to see, with a long, slightly ragged hank of hair hanging down from its bottom end. A flashlight is extended into view and switched on to illuminate a part of the shape—which turns out to be light yellow. Zoom out; Pinkie has the light in her forelock and is hanging by her tail from the same branch, as is the creature.)
Pinkie: Suspicious!
(A close-up from her perspective frames just how right she is. Two yellow bat wings are wrapped tightly over the face, leaving only a pair of matching ears and a disheveled pink mane in view. When the wings are pulled away, the face of a decidedly different Fluttershy comes into full view. Coat a paler yellow than usual, very thick brows over the eerie red eyes, fanged mouth, and a pronounced dislike at being interrupted with a light thrust into her face, expressed with a feral hiss. Snap to black.)
Act Three
(Opening shot: fade in to all but Fluttershy and Pinkie gathering around Applejack’s light to gape in horror, the camera zooming out slowly overhead to frame the silhouette of their altered friend. Fluttershy lashes out a long tongue, drags an apple back, and quickly sucks it dry thanks to her new fangs. The husk is cast down as Pinkie swings over to put the light on her.)
Pinkie: Fluttershy? Yoo-hoo! Fluttershy?
(For her trouble, she gets a hiss that startles her into letting go of the branch; gravity does its bit, and the resulting impact with the ground knocks her silly for a moment.)
Rarity: That’s not Fluttershy… (Zoom in to a close-up.) …that’s Flutterbat!
Twilight: We’ve gotta get her down from there!
Rarity: Uh…Fluttershy, sweetness, please come down. And do stop being a vampire bat.
(No dice; she hisses, snags/drains another apple, and spits the remains away. Now Rainbow flies up to her level.)
Rainbow: Fluttershy! It’s me, Rainbow Dash! Why don’t you cut the bat act and come on down?
(The “bat act” now goes one step beyond, as Fluttershy not only hisses but brings both wings forward to slap Rainbow away. The latter tumbles backward with a yelp before righting herself.)
Rainbow: Whoa! (She flies down to the others.) Maybe we should just let her come down when she’s ready.
(Which is right about at this moment; Fluttershy swoops down so low that all but Pinkie hit the dirt to avoid her. This run reveals that her tail is in as untidy a state as her mane.)
Pinkie: Flutterbat on the loose! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!
(She gets her legs going at a few hundred thousand RPM; instead of galloping away, though, she ends up digging a wide hole in the earth.)
Twilight: Pinkie Pie, calm down! (Pinkie stops; Twilight and Rainbow look up toward Fluttershy, now hanging upside down.) See? She’s back on her…branch.
(Close-up of the inverted creature.)
Pinkie: (from o.s., fearfully) She’s just biding her time— (Back to her; zoom in slowly.) —waiting for the right moment to pounce!
Applejack: (wearily) Pinkie Pie, bats don’t eat ponies. Not even vampire bats. (Pinkie peeks up out of her hole.)
Pinkie: But maybe vampire ponies eat other ponies!
(Cutaway view of the earth. The hole is roughly one head deeper than she is tall.)
Pinkie: (really scared) I’m not taking any chances!
(She gets her forelock whirling like a drill bit and tunnels away under her friends’ hooves. Back to the surface.)
Rarity: How did this happen? That’s what I don’t understand.
Twilight: I think this was actually our fault.
Rainbow: Our fault?
Applejack: And how’d you figure that?
(The winged unicorn starts her horn and aims it off to one side. Cut to an unoccupied stretch of orchard path; a grid of lines magically traces itself into the empty air, and her light violet silhouette winks into view at top left.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) Okay. So this is me… (A black bat figure appears, bottom center.) …these are the bats… (Yellow Fluttershy, top right.) …and this is Fluttershy doing her Stare.
(Waves of red energy emanate from pegasus to bat, and the spell Twilight threw shows up as a red dotted line from her avatar’s horn.)
Twilight: The spell was supposed to go right onto the bats, like this. (Stare and spell break; the bat, now red-rimmed, reflects the Stare back at Fluttershy.) But somehow, the spell must have backfired!
(Bat flies across, disappearing into her; she rears up, turning a dark yellow, mane/tail going ragged, and growing bat wings to replace her feathered ones. Her figure grows in size as Twilight’s retreats out of view.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) It took the vampire fruit bats’ desire to be vampire fruit bats and transferred that desire into Fluttershy!
(She dispels the simulation with a flash.)
Twilight: Come on! We’ll reverse the spell and make it right!
(Pinkie breaks through to the surface between her and Applejack, now using her tail to do the drilling, and lands on all four hooves.)
Pinkie: Then what are we waiting for? Let’s save Fluttershy before that thing eats us all!
(The second half of this line is accompanied by a hoof frantically pointing upward, where Fluttershy gathers herself for a lunge.)
Rainbow: Hit the deck!
(They do so amid a round of yelps and cries to avoid taking the hit.)
Pinkie: (pointing after Fluttershy) FOLLOW THAT BAT!
(Twenty hooves and two clawed feet peel out after the fugitive. After they have gone, the camera tilts up to a high branch on which Fluttershy has taken right-side-up refuge, having given them the slip. Her head and face are wracked by a sudden, soundless agony, she claps her front hooves over her head—and then one ear grows in length and develops a small tuft at its point so that it now resembles a bat’s ear.)
(Down below, the search party is having no luck finding her trail.)
Rarity: I can’t believe we lost her!
Twilight: Oh, Fluttershy, where are you?
(Right behind and above her, if the inverted silhouette that slowly stretches its wings is any hint. Fluttershy abandons her catbird seat to dive on the group, hissing and scattering them every which way. Spike trips on a loose apple and goes flat on his face; she ignores him completely and snatches up the fruit. Down come the bestial slurping and a few drops of juice, and when he looks up with terrified green eyes, she is rising to silhouette herself against the full moon for a moment before diving again.)
Applejack: Look out!
(Shouts of surprise as she ducks to avoid the fruit carcass being thrown at her head, losing her hat for a moment, and others drop to keep from being rammed. The apple rolls to a stop in front of Rainbow, and Applejack crosses to her and Twilight.)
Rainbow: If she keeps this up, your whole crop will be gone in no time!
Applejack: That’s the least of my worries. (She watches Fluttershy fly high overhead.) I just want my friend back.
Twilight: We’ll never get her back unless we corner her and catch her so I can reverse the spell!
(All hurry off. Wipe to the treetops under the moon and tilt down to the group traveling slowly and cautiously through the gathering mists. After several yards, they stop short and stare mutely straight ahead; cut to ground level, the camera aimed through Twilight’s legs toward the silhouette of Fluttershy hunched over on the path.)
Twilight: (whispering) There she is!
(The mutated pegasus unfurls her wings and leaps into the light toward them with a hiss, cutting a hairpin turn that just misses Rainbow and veering off into the orchard.)
Applejack: There she goes!
Twilight: Oh, this is no use! I think the only way we’re gonna catch her is if we find a way to lure her closer to us. (Close-up of Applejack.)
Applejack: But even if we can lure her to us, how are we gonna get her to stay still long enough for you to do your reverse spell? (Zoom out slightly; Pinkie stands nearby.)
Pinkie: (moaning) If only we had Fluttershy to do her Stare on the Flutterbat!
(As circular as this reasoning sounds, it trips something in Twilight’s brain and causes her to gasp happily.)
Twilight: That’s it!
(A knowing smile works its way across the violet face. Dissolve to the five mares and number-one assistant escorting a large, tarp-covered object along the path. Twilight is up ahead, walking backwards and floating the thing in her magic, while the others bring up the rear. They reach a suitable location and stop, Twilight lowering the cargo to the ground and crossing to the others.)
Twilight: Okay. (Rainbow nips tarp in teeth…) Let’s get our friend back. (…and uncovers the monster apple Applejack has been growing.) Action stations!
(The farmer gets the handle of a large knife in her teeth and finds Rainbow hovering resignedly above it.)
Rainbow: So much for having the winning apple in the Appleloosa State Fair, huh?
(Applejack sighs heavily as the full meaning of these words sinks in, then makes an incision in the gleaming red skin. Juice starts to dribble out from the cut edges, and a series of quick, strong flaps from the pegasus sends its aroma drifting over the grounds. High overhead, Fluttershy stops short upon getting a good whiff of the stuff; this shot reveals that in addition to all the physiological alterations, her cutie mark has changed—now it shows three pink bats. Down she comes, hissing madly.)
Rainbow: (whispering) She’s coming!
(Cut to Fluttershy’s perspective, closing in fast on apple and mares. With only a few yards to go, Applejack bucks the fruit aside with all her strength; it rolls away, exposing a full-length mirror that catches the image of the diving, hissing fruit sucker. The violet claws wrapped around both sides from behind tell Spike’s part in this scheme. Fluttershy stops dead, her face going slack with surprise; cut to just behind the mirror as she shields her eyes and turns in a different direction. Here she finds a second mirror being propped up by Pinkie; another panicked turn, and she comes up against a third mirror in Rarity’s telekinetic grip. Fluttershy hovers in place, utterly stupefied by her own reflection, as Twilight trots up and lets the magic blaze from her horn. Her spell wraps Fluttershy in a glowing pink cocoon from head to tail, and the fangs shorten and the ears shrink back to normal. Pink gives way to incandescent white, and one final burst disintegrates the cocoon into a knot of glowing bats that wing their way into the night. The affected pegasus, now back to her normal outward appearance, is floated gently down and collapses bonelessly to the grass. All of the mirrors have been set aside in this shot. As Twilight lets her spell dissipate, she looks worriedly across the way and is met by Fluttershy’s opening eyes—blue-green, not red.)
Fluttershy: Oh…where am I?
(Cheers from the others as she gets upright.)
Applejack: Thank goodness you’re okay! (She puts a foreleg across Fluttershy’s shoulders.)
Fluttershy: But…what happened to me? (Pinkie drops into view between them, annoying Applejack.)
Pinkie: You turned into a vampire pony!
(Profile close-up of Fluttershy, panning between her and Pinkie in time with each line.)
Fluttershy: (hyperventilating a bit) I tried to eat ponies?
Pinkie: Of course not!
Fluttershy: So I wasn’t a vampire?
Pinkie: Yes!
Fluttershy: “Yes, I was,” or “yes, I wasn’t”?
Pinkie: Yes, you were!
Fluttershy: But I didn’t try to eat ponies?
Pinkie: Yes!
Fluttershy: I did?
Pinkie: No!
Fluttershy: I’m confused. (Cut to frame her, Twilight, and Rarity.)
Rarity: Me too—and I was there!
(Dissolve to an expanse of happy blue sky during the following day. Several chittering bats fly past as the camera tilts down to a path outside one of the orchards. All seven are here, and Applejack adjusts the position of a newly placed sign, marked with a bat, that stands at the fence—the location of a new wildlife preserve.)
Applejack: Fluttershy, I’m real sorry I didn’t take your suggestion in the first place. (Fluttershy lifts the orange-tan chin, smiling.)
Fluttershy: And don’t forget, now you’ll get seeds that will grow into even bigger and better apple trees. (Rainbow pops up between them, throwing a foreleg over each set of shoulders.)
Rainbow: (eagerly) Does that mean what I think it means?
Applejack: (smiling) Yep. More cider, too.
Rainbow: (laughing, somersaulting in midair/flying off) Yeah! Woo!
(The others just cast amused glances in her direction. Dissolve to the exterior of Fluttershy’s cottage and zoom in slowly.)
Spike: (from inside) Okay. Got the part about the spell…Fluttershy turning into a bat…
(Cut to him on the floor inside, lying on his belly and writing in the group’s shared journal.)
Spike: …building a sanctuary… (Applejack leans down to him.)
Applejack: Be sure to put in there that I came to see that my short-term solution was a little short-sighted. (Fluttershy does likewise.)
Fluttershy: And that you shouldn’t let anypony pressure you into doing something you don’t think is right.
(Applejack blushes slightly at this. Cut to frame the entire group inside the cottage; both mares stand up.)
Fluttershy: Sometimes, you have to tell even your closest friends no.
(Five other equine heads nod assent. Close-up of the mistress of the house.)
Applejack: (from o.s.) Now how ’bout we celebrate our stronger-than-ever friendship—
(She leans into view with an apple on her hoof, the sight of which catches Fluttershy off guard.)
Applejack: —with a nice, ripe, juicy apple?
(Before either one can dig in, Pinkie zips in between the two and shoves them apart. She has grown a set of fangs.)
Pinkie: Stand back! (Apple hits the floor; she impersonates Bela Lugosi as Dracula.) I vant to suck its juice!
(Biting into the apple, she hunkers down for a snack—but as soon as she opens her mouth again, the fake fangs she has used for this bit of tomfoolery come loose and remain embedded. She puts on a squeaky, sheepish little grin and joins in the others’ hearty laughter. Cut to a close-up of Fluttershy and zoom in as she lowers the hoof she has been using to stifle her own giggles. Among her upper teeth is a short fang that gleams briefly in the light—a hint that Twilight’s counter-spell may not have been completely effective. Snap to black.)
RARITY TAKES MANEHATTAN
Written by Dave Polsky
Produced by Sarah Wall, Devon Cody
Story editing by Meghan McCarthy
Supervising direction by Jayson Thiessen
Co-directed by Jim Miller
Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)
Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to the Ponyville train station platform during the day. As a few passengers and an idling train while away some time, Rarity steps into view in the foreground. A longer shot frames her, Twilight Sparkle, and Applejack; the two magic-users levitate suitcases alongside themselves, while the earth pony pushes hers with her nose. They stop, setting their gear down.)
Spike: (from o.s.) There you are, Rarity!
(Here he comes, pushing a cart stacked high with a scramble of luggage.)
Spike: That’s the last of your bags.
Rarity: Actually, Spike, I’ve got one last pile of bags over there.
(She inclines her head off to one side on the last two words, missing Twilight’s grimace; when Spike glances in that direction, his eyes pop in great surprise. The camera pans quickly to follow his gaze and stops on said pile, which stands nearly as tall as the one he has just trundled in.)
Rarity: (sweetly) Won’t you be a dear? (She bats her eyes.)
Spike: (dreamily, walking to pile) Sure. I’ll be a dear.
(He latches his claws onto one bag near the bottom and strains to pull it free.)
Rarity: An entire week in the fabulous city of Manehattan!
(Long shot of the platform. Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash are now seen here as well, and Spike hustles back and forth to hoss Rarity’s freight.)
Rarity: Plus, all of my very best friends there with me!
Twilight: Of course we’d all come along to support you during Fashion Week, Rarity.
Fluttershy: Not that you’ll need it. We’re sure you’ll win. (A happy squeal from Rarity.)
Rarity: I can’t begin to tell you how excited I am that you’ll all be there with me! (slyly) However… (magically opening her suitcase) …perhaps I can show you.
(On the end of this, she floats something out and fans it like a hand of playing cards, revealing seven identical documents. Cut to her perspective of the others.)
Twilight: What’s that?
Pinkie: Ooh, ooh, ooh! (She zips up close.) I know! A paper fan! (Cut to frame both.)
Rarity: No, it’s—
Pinkie: (jumping in place) A magic trick! You know— (rapid fire) —where I pick a card and remember what it is, and then you put it back in the deck so you can’t look at it and—
(Punctuated on the end of this by hunkering down on the platform and covering her eyes. Rarity cuts her off by walking toward the others with the papers.)
Rarity: These are tickets to the hottest musical on Bridleway!
Twilight: You couldn’t mean Hinny of the Hills, because that show’s been sold out for months! (Happy gasp.) Or could you?
Rarity: (giddily) I could. I do. (A bigger gasp from Twilight.)
Twilight: Oh, Rarity, you didn’t have to do that, but…since you did…
(Cheers from Rarity’s five friends; meanwhile, a visibly worn-out Spike shuttles the last of her luggage across the platform.)
Pinkie: This trip is fun already! (jumping in place ) I love jumping up and down! (Overhead view, zooming in.) Whee!
(Fade to black.)
OPENING THEME
Act One
(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of the train chugging across a suspension bridge that spans a wide body of water, perhaps a river or bay. Zoom out to frame the opposite shore, on which the city proper of Manehattan stands. High-rises are visible in abundance, one of which is topped with a giant horse-head statue that strongly resembles the bust on the center table in the Ponyville library. Dissolve to a city block, the camera angled up to point toward the sky, and tilt down to street level on the start of the next line. A few locals are going about their business, and a taxi carriage rolls down the street as the group emerges from the well-appointed train station. Spike has drawn porter duty, without the benefit of a cart.)
Rarity: Come along, ponies! I found us a place to stay only a block from the train station, in the very heart of this glorious metropolis.
(Another taxi rolls past in front of the camera; behind its rear end, the view wipes to the group on the move.)
Applejack: Hey, look!
(Long shot of several billboards and signs advertising various products and entertainments. Among them is a theater marquee that displays a singing, blond-maned, tan mare against a mountain landscape. Tilt down toward ground level, framing the line of ponies that stretches from the front entrance all the way down the block.)
Applejack: (from o.s.) There’s the theater where Hinny of the Hills is playin’!
(Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Rainbow lean into view, voicing appreciative murmurs along with the o.s. others. Cut to an overhead view of the queue, now seen to stretch around the corner, and pan to frame the group walking/flying/hopping past.)
Twilight: Wow, Rarity! How’d you manage to get us seats for tomorrow night?
Rarity: Oh, I gave some designs to the costume designer, so he pulled a few strings. (Applejack/Pinkie/Rainbow lean in close.)
Applejack, Pinkie, Rainbow: Cool!
(Long shot of one block’s sidewalk, dotted with busy residents.)
Rarity: (walking into view, others following) That is what makes Manehattan so splendid and amazing. (Taxis pass in the street.) You do something nice for somepony, and then you never know when they’ll do something nice for you!
Applejack: So then you can do somethin’ nice for us!
Fluttershy: Like get us in to see Hinny of the Hills!
Rainbow: Which is only the best musical in all of Equestria!
Applejack: It must be good if Rainbow Dash is impressed. Normally she doesn’t even like musicals.
Light acoustic guitar melody with backing strings, brisk 4 (F major)
Rainbow: I know. Ponies just bursting into song in random places at the drop of a hat? Who does that?
Light percussion/flute/bass in; horns sneak in at end of verse
(Rarity pops up in front of them and trots toward the camera.)
Rarity: Oh, Manehattan, what you do to me
(On the ground and in the air, the pulse and the purposeful stride of the city are on display.)
Such a huge, bustling community
(The seven carry on down the street.)
And there’s always opportunity
(Rainbow swoops past Spike and the massed luggage; he stops and eyes the load, ticked off.)
To do the friendly thing
(Rarity doubles back to him as he strains and sweats while moving ahead.)
If some are grouchy, pay no mind
(Quick visit to a street vendor selling carrot hot dogs; she floats a jewel over to him and gets one to go.)
Surprise instead with something kind
(The food is delivered to a very hungry Spike; before he can bite down, though, a passing bird snatches it away. He glowers after it.)
Lo and behold, you may just find
(Overhead view of the street, zooming out quickly.)
A smile is what you bring
Flute/horns out
(Sidewalk level; they approach a hotel and are greeted by a bellhop stallion pushing a luggage cart. Blue-gray earth pony, two-tone blue mane, blue eyes with birdcatcher spots, cutie mark of three suitcases.)
Bellhop: Welcome to the Manefair Hotel! Please allow me to take those bags to your room for you! (Rarity floats up a jewel.)
Rarity: Only if you’ll accept this gratuity first.
Bellhop: (chuckling) I’ll get your change! (She tucks it into his pocket.)
Rarity: Do keep it all. I insist!
Drums/horns in
(He grins widely at this. Cut to a long shot of a ferry boat cruising the bay or river, passing under the bridge that the train crossed to reach Manehattan. In a close-up and pan along the deck, the entire group has gone for a ride to do a little sightseeing; Spike has finally been relieved of his cargo and is instead gripping a pair of binoculars. Rarity stands alone at the prow, a pink scarf wrapped around her neck. Fancypants and Fleur are among the group, the former’s cap marking him as the captain of this cruise.)
Rarity: Generosity, I’m here to show
All that I can give
(The boat approaches the pony counterpart of the Statue of Liberty, and a gangplank is lowered to its pier so the passengers can disembark.)
Generosity, I’m here to set the bar
(Tilt up to the torch held in one lifted front hoof.)
Just sit back and watch how I live
(Cut to an observation deck at this level; several tourists are gazing out over the water, and one of them, a stallion, reaches for a coin-operated viewer at the same time Rarity does. Both react with mild surprise, but she quickly puts on a warm smile.)
Drums out; flute/mandolin in (light percussion continues throughout)
Rarity: After you!
Tourist 1: Why, thank you!
(Close-up of a second tourist stallion, who shivers in a sudden gust of wind. On the start of the next line, zoom out to frame Rarity alongside, scarf in her magical grasp.)
Rarity: Please, take mine. (It is unwound and wrapped around his neck.)
Tourist 2: Wow! Okay.
(Street level; the six mares and baby dragon walk down the thoroughfare as images of various gaudy signs float past.)
Rarity: Some may say, “Rarity,
(A high-rise window; a mare eagerly enters the office of a dour-faced stallion whose facial stubble and attire of shirt collar and jacket lapels give him away as a hardworking business pony.)
Don’t be so big-hearted and bold
(Sidewalk again, panning slowly past an outdoor table at a café. A stallion argues with the maitre d’ and is turned away.)
Treating strangers like they’re friends
(Head-on view of her, zooming out slowly through the preoccupied equines who stream past on all sides.)
This town’s too big and cold”
(One walks past in front of the camera; behind his tail, the view wipes to the group approaching a rather annoyed-looking stallion from behind. As he reads his paper, utterly absorbed in the printed words, Rarity runs into him without looking; he drops the paper and gives her a withering glare.)
Drums in with half-time feel
Rarity: But this is how I play my cards
I’m not about to fold
(She gets an idea and glances to one side; pan to a flower-selling mare at her cart a few yards down the sidewalk. One bloom is floated away under Rarity’s control and paid for with a jewel.)
Where I see a frown, I go to town
(It is tucked into the band of the stallion’s hat, prompting him to smile and laugh along with her.)
Call me the Smile Patrol
Drums out; light percussion builds in intensity (G major)
(The lighted edge of a sign passes the camera; behind it, the view wipes to a long shot of the block on which the theater stands, with the group passing by.)
Rainbow: Oh, Manehattan, what you do to us
Fluttershy: What if you find a gloomy Gus?
(The passenger in one of the taxis at the curb harangues her driver due to a broken wheel on the vehicle. Zoom in on this; Applejack pokes her head out from underneath and stands up, supporting the weight on her back so that the rear end rises clear of the ground. This particular vehicle differs from the others of its kind in one key respect: it is marked with rainbow stripes instead of the usual black/white checkerboard ones. The stallion pulling it is a dark tan earth pony; his rumpled, short two-tone blue mane/tail, and the stubble on his cheeks and lines under his blue eyes, tell of a tiring day’s effort in the harness. He sports a dark gray bow tie, a yellow peaked cap with dark gray visor and edging, and a cutie mark of a black/white-checkered shield.)
Applejack: It’s no intimidatin’ thing
(Pinkie gets up close with the cabbie and winks, prompting a smile.)
Pinkie: Just be kind without a fuss
(The other five trot determinedly toward the breakdown site.)
Drums in
Rarity: Generosity, I’m here to show
All that I can do
(She plies her magic to set the wheel fragments back in place and knit them together.)
Generosity, you are the key
(Applejack gets herself clear and the taxi speeds off; she, Rarity, and Pinkie wave and Rarity jumps up and grabs a lamppost, twirling around it.)
Manehattan, I’m here just for you
(Hop down to join the others, seen in an overhead shot and raising heads and forelegs to the sky. Zoom out slowly.)
Just for you
Song ends with two stingers, then a gently held-out chord
(Zoom out by steps in time with each of these, ending with a long shot of the entire block and zoom out that frames the docks and bridge. A dissolve shifts the scene to a fancy dress on a pony mannequin, seen through a shop window. Rarity’s reflection stands up into view as the camera zooms out slightly.)
Rarity: (sighing blissfully) To think my dresses could soon be displayed on the most glamorous shopping thoroughfare of the most glamorous city in Equestria!
(Cut to a longer shot of the storefront on the end of this. All six mares are running eyes over the outfits on display, but Spike just sits on the front step looking bored. The aspiring designer voices another sigh and puts a hoof to her chest.)
Rarity: It would be my dream come true.
Twilight: Is there anything left to do we can help you with?
Rarity: Hmmm…nothing I can think of. The dresses are all completely finished, all made from a fabulous new fabric I’ve been developing for months. Stretchy, but not clingy. Shimmery, but not showy.
Fluttershy: Sounds amazing!
Rarity: There’s nothing left for me to do but check in at the runway with my dresses by two this afternoon.
Pinkie: Oh, that’s funny— (pointing o.s.) —because that clock over there makes it seem like that’s only ten minutes from now.
(Her perspective on the end of this; she has indicated a clock on the side of the skyscraper with the horse-head statue on its roof. Ominously rumbling storm clouds move in as the camera zooms in to clearly frame the timepiece, which shows 1:50. In a head-on shot, the seven travelers quickly find themselves caught in a relentless downpour.)
Rarity: Oh, my ribbons and threads. (gesturing) And the runway ballroom is all the way across town! (horrified) If I don’t get there, I’m disqualified! (galloping off) TAAAAAXIIIII!!
Fluttershy: Oh, no! We’ve gotta help her find a cab, now!
Rainbow: (flying ahead, full speed) I’m on it! (She lights on a taxi’s roof and addresses the cabbie.) Hey, buddy! Is this cab taken? (An irate stallion glares up at her.)
Stallion 1: (pointing behind himself) The line ends back there, buddy!
Rainbow: Huh?
(Glancing back that way, she takes note of the ponies lined up at the sidewalk taxi stand—many, many of them.)
Rainbow: What? Does everypony in this town want a cab? (Here come Twilight/Applejack/Rarity, the last floating a newspaper over her head to block the rain.)
Rarity: I’m afraid getting a taxi at this time could prove almost impossible!
(Another one rolls up as Twilight steps forward to address the stallion now at the head of the line.)
Twilight: Please won’t you let her have this taxi? She has somewhere very important to be right away!
Stallion 2: (disdainfully) Not likely! (walking to it) She can get in line like the rest of us!
(Here comes a round of loud grumbling from the rest of the hacked-off bunch.)
Twilight: (sitting on curb; Applejack/Rainbow join her) Oh, it’s no use! The cabdrivers just drive right past to get to the next pony in line!
(Or not, as in the case of one who barrels around the corner and parks his hack right in front of the group as they assemble at the curb. A closer shot frames him as the driver of the one whose wheel Rarity fixed.)
Cabbie: New wheel works like a charm. So now, which of you nice folks are hoppin’ in?
(Rarity needs all of a split-second to get upright and over to the rainbow-striped carriage, ditching her paper.)
Rarity: (hastily, climbing on) Fashion Runway Plaza in seven minutes! Can you make it?
Cabbie: (rearing up) Hang on!
Rarity: (waving to others) Ta-ta!
(And she is gone in a blur of swirling dust. Spike walks up, having procured a fresh carrot hot dog to replace the one stolen by the bird.)
Spike: (sighing with relief) That was close.
(General assent from the others, but his eyes go wide with a sudden thought.)
Spike: Anypony else got a sneaking suspicion we’re forgetting something?
(The same though, amplified a hundredfold, flashes through all six brains at once.)
Other five: THE DRESSES!
(Snap to black.)
Act Two
(Opening shot: fade in to large lobby whose décor speaks of understated elegance. Only the large rug on the floor points to the expense that has gone into setting the place up. A bored-looking earth pony mare sits typing at the front desk: pink coat with a hint of violet, pale blond mane, white shirt collar with necktie, eyeglasses with small jewels set in the frames. Rarity’s magic hits one of the door handles from outside, and it swings open to admit the frantically racing unicorn. She comes to a stop at the desk, the camera shifting to pick out the receptionist mare’s light brown eyes and the pencil tucked behind one ear.)
Rarity: (out of breath) Good afternoon, I’m here for Fashion Week!
Receptionist: (not turning to her) Everypony’s gathered in front of the runway and about to start. (The barest glance back over one shoulder; stop typing.) So you’ll just have to bring your dresses along with you and store them backstage later.
(This scene is set within Fashion Runway Plaza, then. Zoom in on Rarity during the end of this, putting her o.s.)
Rarity: (flustered) But—my dresses! How could I possibly forget them?
(She gets out three choked little cries of terror, the camera cutting to a closer shot on each one until it reaches an extreme close-up of the constricted blue pupils. This is followed by a quick zoom out to frame her collapsed onto her hocks…)
Rarity: (sobbing) I’M DOOMED!!
(…and then a flop onto her face. Right on cue, in walks the bellhop she tipped so heavily in Act One, wheeling a rack of covered outfits alongside.)
Bellhop: Got ’em right here, ma’am. (Rarity looks up at him.) Your friends told me you need these in a hurry, so I offered to race ’em over myself. (She quickly steers the rack away and o.s.) “Anything for that nice mare,” I told ’em.
Rarity: (from o.s., floating a gem to him) You’re a lifesaver!
(He eyes it with mild confusion, then smiles. Cut to inside an auditorium, where a footlight-lined runway has been erected to project outward from the stage. Several ponies in assorted manner of interesting attire are gathered here, and a rack of garments stands at the wall behind them; Rarity hurries in, magically towing her load, and voices a relieved sigh.)
Rarity: I made it! And with seconds to spare! (Laugh; she addresses the others.) Hello, everypony.
(Another one steps into view in the foreground, out of focus and with her back to the camera. Earth pony, medium gray coat, pink mane/tail carefully brushed back, gold-framed purple earrings to indicate a mare, pale gray blouse with ruffled white tie, cutie mark that cannot be clearly seen at the moment. This is Prim Hemline, who speaks with a clipped British accent and a tone of critical disapproval.)
Rarity: Pleased to meet you all.
Prim: Rarity, I presume.
(Cut to a fully focused close-up of her hooves and tilt up slowly. The blouse’s sleeves are trimmed in gold, its edging is a slightly paler gray than the rest of the garment, and the tie is part of a gold-edged panel that runs down the front. At the collar is a brooch that matches the earrings; her cutie mark can now be clearly seen as a spool of thread with a pair of scissors poised to cut an unwinding length. The lines under her closed eyes mark her as being older than the group.)
Rarity: (from o.s., admiringly) You must be Prim Hemline. (Both again.) The host of this grand event! (Nervous giggle.) How do you—
Prim: Miss Rarity— (Close-up; her eyes, now open, are violet. She approaches Rarity.) —how is it that all your competitors are here half an hour early and yet you arrive seconds before we begin?
(Under her stern glare, the recipient of this harangue can only stammer inarticulately for a moment. However, she gets herself under control with a breezy giggle.)
Rarity: Just lucky, I guess. (Big placating grin.)
Prim: (pacing past others and back) Once we’re done here, you’re to finish setting up backstage so you’ll be ready for your run-through appointment. (to Rarity) You’ll show your designs last. We keep to a precise schedule, so let’s try to be more than a few seconds early, hmm? (pacing again) Tomorrow is the contest to see which one of you gets to stay to meet top designers all across the city. The rest of you must go home early. (dismissively) So sad. (Flick of her tail.) Dismissed!
(The contenders clear out in all directions with the exception of Rarity, who turns to check over her collection, and a light blue-violet earth pony mare with a long, curly purple mane and tail. The mane is tied back with a light yellow band, and a light blue scarf is knotted loosely around her neck. This is Suri Polomare, who sounds fairly close to Rarity’s age and speaks with a bit of a Valley Girl accent. Zoom in on the pair.)
Suri: (laughing a bit) I’m so glad you made it, Rarity!
Rarity: (sighing, a bit out of breath) Me too. But everything just seems to keep working out.
(A close-up shows Suri’s eyes as medium brown and her cutie mark as three buttons.)
Suri: Don’t you remember me? Suri Polomare from the Ponyville Knitters’ League?
Rarity: (smiling hugely) Oh, yes, of course, of course! I thought you looked familiar, but I couldn’t place it. You haven’t been back in years.
Suri: Because I moved here to make it in the big city. (Deprecating chuckle; next word under her breath.) Okay?
*** A pair of asterisks (**) will indicate this same chuckle/“okay” punctuating the end of a sentence from here on in. ***
Rarity: Ohhh! Good for you, Sur— (She gets swept up in a tight hug.)
Suri: Ooh, it’s so good to see you! And now here we are, competing. **
Rarity: (turning away, a bit hastily) Yes, yes. Well, good luck.
Suri: Oh, I don’t need luck. Would you like a hoof with your things?
Rarity: (relaxing) Why, thank you so much.
(Dissolve to a close-up of outfits in various shades of purple, hanging on a rack. Suri reaches through from behind and pushes a few of them aside so she can get a closer look. What they all have in common, to varying degrees, is a patterned fabric that shimmers faintly in the light.)
Suri: My, your collection is gorgeous!
(Longer shot; they, she, and Rarity are in a dressing room. Another pony’s rack stands off in a different corner, and Rarity has a bolt of fabric floating near her head.)
Rarity: (crossing room with it) Oh, now. I’m sure your collection is equally lovely, if not more so.
Suri: It’s all right, but nothing like this! (Rarity crosses back.) Take my culottes, for example. They are simply crying out for just the right accent, but I haven’t the slightest notion where I—
(She stops short and pulls in a deep gasp, having taken notice of the textile under Rarity’s control—that same shimmering purple cloth.)
Suri: Actually… (Close-up of one dress in her hooves; she continues o.s.) …just a touch of this fabric could be perfect with a… (A moment’s stammer; zoom out to frame her.) …oh, hey, would you mind terribly if I took a swatch?
Rarity: Oh, not at all! Here. I have loads extra. (She floats the bolt over.)
Suri: You’re sure?
Rarity: Positive. (crossing room) Well, it’s been wonderful getting caught up, and I-I don’t wish to be rude, but I need to finish my preparations and I am a bit late as it…
(Cut to a long shot of the entire room; only now does she realize that Suri has taken her leave.)
Rarity: …is?
(A few puzzled glances here and there. Dissolve to a Manehattan street.)
Rarity: (voice over, brightly) Hello.
(Cut to her at the receptionist’s desk in the lobby of Fashion Runway Plaza, this time with her rack of dresses. The bespectacled mare is again typing away and failing to take note of her.)
Rarity: I’m here half an hour early for my run-through appointment, just the way Prim likes.
Receptionist: (pointing) Get in line over there.
(“Over there” turns out to be the other end of the lobby, where the rest of the designers have already turned out with their best efforts. When the receptionist finally deigns to turn both eyes toward the purple-hued outfits, she breaks out in a genuine smile.)
Receptionist: (awestruck, pulling glasses down to peer over them) Oh, my, that fabric’s gorgeous. Did you make that yourself?
Rarity: (laughing a bit) Why, yes. It’s stretchy, but not clingy. Shimmery—
Suri: (from o.s.; first word overlaps Rarity’s) Shimmery, but not showy.
(Hearing that second voice reeling back her own words stops her tongue cold. Cut to the stage and pan slowly to follow her as she warily crosses behind the other lined-up challengers. The cheery overtone has disappeared from Suri’s voice—now she is a Valley Girl who means business.)
Suri: (from o.s.) And the entire line is in this same adorable pattern.
(Rarity pushes up in between them, her eyes bugging out in surprise. On the start of the next line, zoom out quickly to frame her old acquaintance at the other end of the stage. Next to her is a rack of outfits done in the same shades of purple as Rarity’s line and displaying liberal amounts of the special fabric. Also present is a harried-looking earth pony mare: two-tone, light blue bobbed mane/tail, light blue eyes, off-white coat, white-edged violet sailor-suit collar with red tie, red/orange/purple flower clip in her mane, cutie mark of a floppy, white-edged violet hat with a red feather. This is Coco Pommel.)
Suri: It works on everything from skirts to tops to shoes. (Laugh; cut to Prim sitting alone in the audience and clapping.)
Prim: Oh, bravo! I’ve never seen anything like it.
(The beaming designer turns away, only to find herself confronted by a very, very angry one.)
Rarity: You stole my fabric!
Prim: (pushing her back, walking past with a laugh) I didn’t steal it. ** You gave it to me, ’member?
Rarity: I gave you the fabric for accents, not for your whole line! (Coco wheels the rack after Suri.) And how could you possibly make all those outfits out of it so fast? (They stop.)
Suri: (disdainfully) Fast? Ha! (Cut to Coco; Suri points at her and continues o.s.) Coco Pommel here took practically forever. (Very glum look.) Nearly got me completely disqualified.
(Suri pronounces Coco’s last name with the accent on the second syllable rather than the first.)
Coco: Well, I wanted to make sure you’d win, so I took the extra time to— (Suri leans into her face.)
Suri: Quiet! I pay an assistant to sew and get coffee, not talk. ’Kay?
(Rarity turns away with an incredulous little scoff.)
Rarity: How could this happen? (Suri zips over and puts a hoof across her shoulders.)
Suri: Aw, sweetie, don’t blame yourself. It takes some small-town fillies a while to learn it’s everypony for herself in the big city, mm-kay?
(The recipient of this jab bolts sobbing for the door to the lobby, straight past Coco.)
Suri: (crossing to her) Hope you realize how fortunate you are to have me as a mentor. (full volume) Now get me some coffee!
(The hapless assistant beats it out the door. Wipe to the Manefair Hotel’s front entrance, seen from street level, and tilt up slowly. The rain that hit in Act One has stopped.)
Twilight: (voice over) Oh, my gosh! What a great afternoon! That was almost too much fun!
(Cut to just inside one room; the door opens to admit her and Rainbow, with Applejack and Pinkie right behind. Rainbow wears a baseball cap marked with a heart and a high-rise, the Manehattan equivalent of the classic “I Love NY” graphic.)
Rainbow: Better pace yourself, ’cause the rest of the day is jam-packed!
Applejack: (flicking her forelock) First there’s the salon appointment to get our manes done.
Pinkie: Then our fancy dinner at the Far Afield Tavern! (Fluttershy brings up the rear.)
Fluttershy: And after that… (All five jump up together; Rainbow without her cap.)
All five: …HINNY OF THE HILLS!
(They drop onto the floor in a giggling, squealing pile, paying no attention to Spike as he totters across with a colossal armload of purchases and souvenirs. Pan across the room to the door, where a frazzled, crushed, teary-eyed Rarity is plodding in. She lets a few drops fall on the carpet; Rainbow is first to extract herself from the laugh fest and notice, her smile vanishing in a blink. The others get upright a moment later.)
Rainbow: Is everything okay?
Pinkie: (bounding over to Rarity) You got the dresses the bellhop brought you and everything, right?
(The unicorn trudges mutely past, stopping only when she has reached one of the beds, and throws herself onto it with a full-throated wail. Cut to the others stepping up.)
Rainbow: But…he said he brought them.
Rarity: (from o.s., waving a hoof into view) And then Suri stole them! (She stands up and hyperventilates a bit.) I let one of the other contestants use some of my one-of-a-kind fabric… (Again.) …and then she turned it into a wardrobe just like mine… (Again.) …only now it looks like I’m the one copying her! (Flop onto her back.) My generosity has ruined me, I tell you! (sobbing) Ruined!
(Close-up of Twilight; another bout of wailing floats up to her.)
Twilight: Now, Rarity, whatever went wrong, we’re all here to help you get through it— (looking toward others) —no matter what it takes.
(Pan to frame the other four mares, who cheer and voice their agreement.)
Applejack: Come on, Rarity, buck up. All we need is some fabric, and you’ll be back in business.
(The victim of sartorial plagiarism sits bolt upright and looks around herself, taking in the rich fabric of the window curtains and the rug at the foot of the bed. Next she runs a critical hoof over the blanket, her sudden smile telling of the idea that has started to fit itself together in her mind. One eyebrow lowers knowingly, then pops back up as she gasps happily.)
[Animation goof: Her mane switches between neat and disheveled during the previous sequence. It ends up in proper order.]
Rarity: This new line is going to be marvelous! Perhaps even better than the last! It’s daring, it’s bold! Perhaps I still have a chance after all!
(She stops at last to catch her breath, the camera cutting to her five smiling friends. That optimism is nowhere to be seen when the view dissolves to frame them hard at work on various clothing-related tasks. They are still in the room, whose windows and floor have been stripped bare, and visibly fatigued; the sky has darkened into night. Twilight and Fluttershy run sewing machines; Rainbow, a spinning wheel; Applejack works at a desk while Pinkie checks over a roll of fabric. Fluttershy’s machine snarls up the cloth she is feeding through it, but she cringes and says nothing, trying to clear the jam as Rarity passes behind her. Her reading glasses perched on her nose, the dressmaker crosses the room while levitating a few rolls of material and stops near Pinkie and Rainbow. The pink pony has taken a break to play with the ball of yarn she has built up by unraveling the carpet, but she and Rainbow quickly get back to work. Rarity’s next stop is Applejack’s station; the workhorse has been folding up pieces of cloth and stacking them in a basket, and Rarity lets her load drop on the desk and floats the finished batch away. Finally she reaches Twilight.)
Rarity: (urgently) Twilight! Sew these pieces together according to that pattern there.
(On the end of this, she indicates sheets of clothing pattern on the desk next to the working mare with a tilt of her head.)
Twilight: You said if we skipped dinner at the Far Afield Tavern, you’d order a meal for us to eat while we keep working.
Rarity: Don’t fret. It’ll be here in an hour. (addressing the room, frostily) That’s not going to be a problem, is it?
Rainbow: (hesitantly) Well, we’re supposed to be watching Hinny of the Hills by then.
Rarity: (snippy tone) Oh, I see. I go out of my way to get you tickets for a show, and this is how you repay me? By abandoning me in my hour of need?
(Accompanied by a walk across the room and a piece of light green cloth being floated off the floor and tied in a bow around a pony mannequin’s neck. The guilt trip has its intended effect, but she decides to hammer the point home with a few piteous little half-sobs and a hoof slammed angrily to the floor.)
Rarity: Fine! Go and see Hinny of the Hills tonight! And then tomorrow morning when you come to see my fashion show without any fashion to show, you can have more entertainment!
(Cut to Pinkie and Rainbow; she whips over to them and throws a mocking foreleg around each neck while sucking in a deep breath to continue her tirade.)
Rarity: “Oh, why, look, there’s our friend Rarity going down in FLAMES! Isn’t friendship MAGIC?!?”
(Pinkie can only manage a terrified little nod. On the start of the next line, cut to frame all six.)
Twilight: (crossing to Rarity) Rarity, calm down. What’s gotten into you? (She gets a white hoof jabbed toward her chest.)
Rarity: (increasingly worked up) What’s gotten into you? Oh, go ahead! See your little show! Congratu-pony-lations, fillies! Sounds like you’ve all figured out already, it’s everypony for herself in this town!
(With a stomp of both front hooves against the floor for vicious emphasis. A burst of magic hits the door just in time to open it as she gallops out, then slam it behind her. The five others trade a round of perplexed glances before turning gloomily back to their respective jobs. Cut to a stretch of buildings and tilt up into the starry sky to stop on the moon, whose image gives way to that of a blue-green jewel brooch, seen in close-up. It is on the collar of a new outfit and being adjusted by Twilight and Applejack, who withdraw their hooves after a moment.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) There.
(Longer shot of the room; all five workers are gathered around this ensemble on a mannequin. Spike is out cold in one of the beds, and the blue sky seen through the windows tells that morning has come.)
Twilight: That’s the last of them.
Rarity: (racing past with dress rack, stripping mannequin bare) Finally!
(She has put away her glasses now. Cut to the hallway; her magic throws the door open, she gallops out with the new batch, and Twilight glares out after her.)
Twilight: (very snarky) You’re welcome!
(Dissolve to the upper reaches of the auditorium, spotlights shining from the rafters, and tilt down on the start of the next line. The place is now packed, and Prim and Suri stand at the end of the runway as mares dressed in the latter’s purple-themed outfits strut their stuff and flashbulbs pop here and there.)
Prim: Let’s have another round of applause for Suri Polomare’s amazing collection!
(The crowd obliges, the camera panning from one model to the next and then cutting to maven and up-and-comer. Suri waves to acknowledge the accolades.)
Prim: That fabric! So original!
(She and Suri touch hooves before the latter turns to head backstage—where Rarity is watching and lets off a weary/frustrated sigh. Coco, looking very much down in the mouth, follows her boss into the wings.)
Suri: (chuckling) Well, look who’s here. Gonna show off your copycat collection, hmm?
(Another venomous little laugh; on the start of the following, cut back to the runway.)
Prim: And now, Rarity from Ponyville with her brand-new line—and I mean brand-new— (Zoom in toward the stage curtain.) —“Hotel Chic.”
(The light on her dims to nothing in time with two spots that pick out the curtain, roving a bit before stopping at center stage. The drapes are reeled back to expose a mare wearing a blue-green dress, with edging and shoes in a darker shade, a cocked magenta hat that bears a striking resemblance to a lampshade, a belt hung with keys, and a bar of soap hung around her neck. She wears the light green neck bow worked on by Rarity, as well as a round brooch whose design suggests that it used to be the peephole from the door to the group’s room. A series of camera flashes shifts the focus to close-ups of the hat, the belt—whose keys still have their room-number tags attached—and the soap-on-a-rope necklace. The audience murmurs and claps its approval, with Hoity Toity, Sapphire Shores, and Photo Finish in attendance, and the model advances haughtily along the runway as more appreciative sounds are heard. Right behind her is another one whose magenta/gold outfit could only have been made from the room’s curtains; as the other models take their turns, Rarity smiles and pulls in a barely audible gasp.)
Rarity: They’re liking it. I think I may have just won this thing! Oh, I can’t wait to celebrate with—
(Elation shifts into worry in less time than it takes to drop a stitch. Cut to her perspective of the audience seating and zoom in slowly; among the multitudes—now seen to include Fancypants and Fleur—is a prominently empty section, the only such one in the house. The rest of the gang is nowhere to be seen; back to Rarity.)
Rarity: …my friends. They didn’t come. (sadly) What have I done?
(She dips her head as the flashbulbs start to pop again and the crowd cheers vociferously. One last flash fills the screen and fades away to black it out.)
Act Three
(Opening shot: fade in to the runway, whose models are still parading Rarity’s works for the enthusiastic crowd. Prim steps out from Rarity’s side of the wings.)
Prim: Rarity, they all adore you! (Zoom in on Rarity.) Aren’t you going to tell them about your fabulous pieces?
(The zoom puts the maven o.s. on the end of this; Rarity acts as if she has not heard a word of this praise. Cut to her perspective of the empty block of seats and zoom in slowly on the velvet rope that runs in front of the entire audience. On the length in front of her friends’ seats, a rainbow-hued gleam of light passes from one end to the other. Back to the chastened unicorn, zooming in to an extreme close-up of her eyes as the spectrum shines briefly forth from both irises.)
Rarity: I have to go.
(She gallops away, prompting a shocked gasp from Prim; a moment later, and she has plowed a model aside and leaped off the runway’s end. Shocked murmurs from the crowd.)
Prim: (rushing after her) Come back at once! (She stops short of the edge.) This is unheard-of!
(Dissolve to the Manefair’s front entrance. She gallops up and slows to a walk as the bellhop pushes a heavily overloaded luggage cart toward the curb.)
Bellhop: How do you do, ma’am? Contest going well?
Rarity: No time to talk. I have to find my friends!
Bellhop: Oh! Well, they’re gone already. I saw them headed out this morning.
Rarity: Oh, no! Back to Ponyville, I imagine? Oh, they worked so hard on my behalf, and I repaid them with unkindness. (galloping away) What have I done?
(She stops short and floats two small, misshapen gems back toward him.)
Rarity: Oh, here you are.
(Close-up of these as they settle on his hoof, then zoom out. He is a bit taken aback at the meager size of this tip compared to the others she has given him.)
Bellhop: (calling after her, stammering a bit) But, miss, I didn’t do anything!
(On the end of this, thunder rumbles overhead and the rain wastes no time in following it down. Cut to a mass of stormy gray clouds and tilt down past a bridge to ground level.)
Quiet, melancholy acoustic guitar/strings/woodwind reprise of Act One melody
Moderate 4 (F major)
(Rarity trudges disconsolately along a sidewalk, her mane a waterlogged mess, and eyes her reflection in a puddle before a stallion splashes through it at a rushed gallop. A taxi rolls past, its driver paying her no mind.)
Rarity: Oh, Manehattan, what have I done?
The thought of Fashion Week was fun
(Cut to just inside a store window; she gazes in at the decked-out mannequin on display.)
But I went way too far
(Outside; it is the same shop that the group scoped out in Act One. Zoom in past her, the reflection disappearing from the glass.)
Music swells; timpani sneaks in
My friends gave to me
In ways so kind
(Images of the other five and Spike fade into view, gladly touching up the dress. Zoom out to frame her; they fade away and her reflection reappears.)
Drop back; timpani sneaks out
And I gave them nothing
But a hard time
(Cut to a longer shot of her, now facing away from the window, and zoom out slowly past the activity surging all around her.)
Rarity: And now alone I stand
And now alone I stand
Song ends
(Dissolve to a close-up of the receptionist, lost in thought and not typing for once. A desk bell rings; zoom out to frame Rarity in front of the desk, trying to get her attention. The unicorn’s mane is back to its immaculately coiffed self.)
Rarity: I need a moment with Prim Hemline. I have to rush back to Ponyville, but I just wanted to thank her first for—
(Behind her, a door opens and the figure of Suri emerges into view, partly obscured by the white head and purple mane.)
Suri: Uh-uh-uh.
(Rarity moves aside and turns to look; the movement exposes both Suri and Coco walking in, the doors closing behind them.)
Suri: You best steer clear of Prim for a while. She’s pretty furious. (to Coco) Isn’t that right?
Coco: Um… (dropping her eyes) …yes.
(Right behind these two, the doors open again and the rest of the Ponyville contingent enters, in high spirits. Pinkie cranks off a big squeaky grin, and Rarity cannot help but smile in response.)
Rarity: There you all are! I can’t believe it. (crossing to them) I thought you went back home! (Their faces fall.)
Twilight: We missed the show because we overslept. Suri told us you lost. We’re really sorry.
(Suri throws her rival a smug little smile, but Coco does not copy it and keeps her eyes averted.)
Rarity: (flabbergasted) I lost?
(Long pause, her brain running back through the last two days or so at blinding speed.)
Rarity: You know what? I don’t even care. I’m just happy you’re all still here after how I treated you—taking advantage of your friendship the way I did.
(Cut to a slow pan across the now-smiling other five mares, starting at Pinkie’s end and ending at Applejack’s.)
Rarity: (from o.s.) How could you ever see past it?
Applejack: Yeah, you were pretty rotten. (Rainbow’s eyes pop at this.)
Rainbow: Wow, Applejack. I know your thing is honesty, but come on! (Twilight crosses to Rarity.)
Twilight: Last night we may not have seen you at your best— (touching her shoulder) —but we know you. (Spike and the others gather around.) And we would never let one thing like that change how we feel about you.
(A group hug begins to coalesce during the end of this line and soon draws in all seven of them for a moment.)
Rarity: Oh…thank you. (crying a bit, wiping her eyes) You really are the most wonderful friends a pony could have.
(Cut to the sidewalk outside Fashion Runway Plaza. Her magic takes hold of one set of double doors from inside and opens them so the group can emerge—Rainbow flying above the others. The earlier rain has stopped.)
Rarity: You know, I already arranged to make it up to you this afternoon. Hope you’re all available for an exclusive performance of Hinny of the Hills!
(This piece of news elicits a round of cheers and gets Pinkie jumping nearly as high as Rainbow. Some moments later, Suri and Coco step out to the street.)
Suri: And that is how it’s done. (Chuckle.) Pretty clever how I convinced her to stay away from Prim, wasn’t it? (Again; now her tone goes downright nasty.) Wouldn’t have wanted her to find out the truth now, would we?
(The green eyes’ gimlet glare sends the light blue ones turning morosely toward the ground. Dissolve to a long shot of the front entrance of the theater serving as the venue for Hinny of the Hills, as identified by Applejack in Act One. Zoom in to the sound of a dramatic female voice, singing with the backing of a full orchestra in E major.)
Singer: And I’m a dancing
(Cut to a close-up of the tan mare on the marquee. Earth pony; Tyrolean-style blouse and red skirt, topped by a brown vest; mane braided and bound in a flowered red kerchief. She is suspended by a rope around her midsection in front of a sun/sky backdrop.)
Singer: Pony
(She takes a midair bow as the camera zooms out quickly to frame the entire stage; the backdrop depicts a range of mountain peaks, and the actors down below bow as well. They wave to the audience as the music ends and the curtains close; wild cheers from the o.s. out-of-towners, and the camera cuts to the seven. This show has indeed been an exclusive, as they have the entire theater to themselves, and the hooves pound applause against the floor while the clawed hands clap. Rarity has donned a yellow-trimmed magenta shawl for the occasion.)
Applejack: Wow. That was even better than I imagined!
Rainbow: (lifting off for a loop-the-loop) I loved it!
(She finds herself on the receiving end of six very puzzled stares. Long silence, after which she settles back into her seat with an embarrassed smile and tries to play it off. The camera picks out her, Applejack, and Pinkie in close-up.)
Rainbow: Uh…I mean…it was a’ight.
(She crosses her forelegs and adopts her best “too hip for the room” pose, prompting a laugh from Applejack and Pinkie. Pan from these three to Twilight and Rarity.)
Twilight: How did you ever get them to agree to do an extra performance just for us?
Rarity: Remember my costume-designer friend who got me the tickets? Well, I offered to make all the costumes for his next show. (Pan to Rarity’s other side, framing her and a downcast Fluttershy now.)
Fluttershy: Um, here in Manehattan?
(Four other pairs of equine eyes turn toward Rarity, hanging anxiously on whatever she plans to say next.)
Rarity: (hesitating a bit) Well…um…yes. It will keep me away from Ponyville for a while. (Dejected sigh from Twilight/Applejack/Pinkie/Rainbow; Spike stares morosely at the floor.) But I so wanted you to see this show, and working for this designer is such a great opportunity.
Applejack: We know. (smiling a bit) We’re happy for you, Rarity. We’re just…sad for us.
(The rear door is heard opening, and the next voice catches the bunch by surprise.)
Coco: (from o.s.) Mind if I join you?
(Eyes turn toward the back rows; cut to the put-upon assistant standing in the dimmed lights, saddlebags on her back and her shadow stretching long on the aisle carpet. The door swings shut behind her, and of the seven in the seats, only Rarity is not displaying a faint smile.)
Rarity: (cautiously) Sure. Come on down.
(She leaves her seat, Coco takes the invitation, and the two meet near the front-row end of the aisle. Coco, smiling, surprises Rarity by dipping into her bags and pulling out a trophy, which she holds out. Rarity leans down to get a good close look at the nameplate on its base.)
Rarity: This is the first-place trophy for Fashion Week… (Gasp.) …with my name on it! But I thought I lost!
Coco: You didn’t. You won.
(Cut to Rarity; she takes the trophy and aims an uncertain look to Twilight/Fluttershy/Spike. Back to Coco on the start of the following.)
Coco: Suri was hoping that if you didn’t claim your prize, the judges would consider it a forfeit and first place would go to her. (Cut to Applejack/Pinkie/Rainbow; she continues o.s.) So…she lied to make you and your friends go away and… (Surprise at this; back to her.) …well…I lied too. (turning away) I’ve worked for Suri for so long, I started to believe that it really is everypony for herself in this town… (She glances back at Rarity.) …until I saw how generous you were with your friends, and how generous they were with you.
(Long overhead shot of the group, seen from somewhere near the balcony.)
Coco: It made me start believing there was something better for me out there. (Close-up.) So I…I quit. (Smiling, she steps back over to Rarity.) I brought you something to say thank you.
(This time, she comes up with a small gift box and passes it to Rarity, who manages a bit of a knowing smile.)
Rarity: Hmph. I suppose you’ll need a job, now that you’re no longer with Suri. (Smile from Coco.) How would you like to work for my friend, making all the costumes for his next show?
(The earth pony’s smile widens a notch or three as the camera zooms in on her. Dissolve to the front steps of the Manehattan train station; Spike hoists the group’s luggage inside, and Coco gets a round of goodbye waves from the others before they follow him in. Rarity is no longer wearing her shawl.)
Rarity: (voice over, dictating) “Manehattan was simply grand.”
(Dissolve to a rooftop-level view of the city and pan to follow their train back across the suspension bridge, headed for home. It is a beautiful sunny day.)
Rarity: (voice over) “It was in this magnificent metropolis that I learned that while there are ponies who will take advantage of your generosity…”
(Dissolve to the exterior of the Carousel Boutique and zoom in slowly.)
Rarity: (voice over) “…you should never, ever let that cause you to abandon your generous spirit.”
(Another dissolve, and the view has shifted to her upper-story workroom and living quarters. She sits on her haunches behind a worktable, writing in the group’s shared journal, a quill held in her telekinetic field.)
Rarity: (voice over) “Nothing feels worse than taking advantage of the giving nature of your friends.”
(Setting the quill in a nearby inkwell, she floats up the box Coco gave her and sets it on the open pages. When she magically undoes the ribbon, it unfolds to present one item: a spool of rainbow-colored thread. Rarity brings it up for a look, smiles warmly, and moves it along as she steps away from the desk. Cut to a close-up of it being set on a shelf next to a pink spool, with a sky-blue one partially visible alongside this one, then to a longer shot of the area. The contented unicorn walks away from the shelves, one of which holds the new spool and six others, and the camera cuts to a close-up of the opposite end of the line and pans across it. Light violet, orange-tan, light yellow, white, blue, pink—the coat colors of all six friends—and the new addition at the end of the line, where the camera stops. A gleam of rainbow light passes briefly across it, just as with the velvet rope during the fashion show, and the view fades to black.)
PINKY APPLE PIE
Written by Natasha Levinger
Produced by Sarah Wall, Devon Cody
Story editing by Meghan McCarthy
Supervising direction by Jayson Thiessen
Co-directed by Jim Miller
Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)
Note: The title is presented here exactly as shown in the on-screen credits.
Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to the exterior of the library during the day. Tilt up slowly toward its uppermost boughs, then dissolve to Twilight Sparkle inside, hunkered down on the floor amid stacks of books. One volume, whose cover depicts a tree marked with labels on its branches, stands open in her magic and has grabbed every bit of her attention. She flips a page, then closes the book and sets it on a stack; next she stands up and crosses to the shelves, floating another volume out. Pinkie Pie’s face appears in the gap.)
Pinkie: Whatcha doin’?
(Twilight yells in surprise, propelling the book away from herself, and Pinkie copies the noise as the rest of her body pushes itself into view.)
Pinkie: …yourself! (Close-up.) But that doesn’t answer my question, silly. (Giggle; back to Twilight on the start of the next line.)
Twilight: Just some genealogical research.
(This shot establishes the scene as taking place in her upper-story living quarters. The dropped book has fallen to the ground, but she magically closes it and floats it away.)
Pinkie: (stretching out from shelves) Ohhhh!
(She overbalances and falls to the floor, then gets woozily to her hooves as Spike walks in with an armload of scrolls.)
Pinkie: (whispering, to him) I don’t know what that is!
(He steps up onto a pile of books, alongside a very tall and narrow stack of scrolls that is defying the laws of physics by not falling over.)
Spike: Genealogy is the study of family history. (He adds his paperwork to the stack; it totters a bit.) You know, where ponies come from and who they’re related to. (Cross the room.)
Pinkie: Ooooh! Fascinating!
(Close-up of the topmost scrolls, tilting down to ground level; she leans in, gets the end of one in her teeth, and gingerly begins to pull it away. On the start of the next line, cut to a very apprehensive Twilight and Spike.)
Twilight: Maybe you should pick one from the…
(Ground level again. The principles of equilibrium and balance have now gone right out the window, as the stack is remaining upright with only a single off-center point of support. Zoom out; Pinkie stands nearby, having unrolled the scroll she took onto the floor, and is starting to read it over.)
Twilight: (from o.s., incredulously) …top?
(She and her assistant trade helplessly confused glances, and the visitor starts to reel out the document, backing toward/down the stairs so she can keep reading.)
Pinkie: Uh-huh…interesting…I see…ooh, that makes sense… (now out of view; Twilight/Spike stare after her) …not much of a surprise there… (distant) …WHAAAT?!?
(Cut to just outside the bedroom window; they throw it open, and the camera zooms out quickly to a long shot of the library. The scroll Pinkie chose now stretches out the front door and down the road.)
Pinkie: (from o.s., really worked up) This is the most amazing thing ever!
(Pan quickly along the parchment to its far end, where she is reading the final lines.)
Pinkie: Why didn’t you tell me how amazing this is? (jumping around from various angles) Genealogy is better than cotton candy on top of a fountain of chocolate!
(By the end of this, she has stuck her head into view from above; one quivery, big-eyed smile later, and she plunges to the ground. She is upright in a flash.)
Pinkie: (holding up scroll end) You’ll never believe who it says I’m related to!
(Cut to an extreme close-up of a closed door, seen from inside. An enthusiastic string of knocks is heard from its other side, and it swings open to reveal Pinkie out there.)
Pinkie: Heeeeey, cousin!
(Her side. She is looking in at a very, very puzzled Applejack, and the door is that of the main barn at Sweet Apple Acres. The farm pony gets a pair of bright pink hooves wrapped around her neck in a monster hug, but this greeting has locked her mental gears solid and put a healthy scare into her to boot. Zoom in to a close-up of her frozen, slightly horrified expression and snap to black.)
OPENING THEME
Act One
(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of the family property, zooming in slowly. A happy little sound is heard from Applejack inside the barn; during the following, cut to the living room. She, Big Macintosh, Apple Bloom, and Granny Smith are here, and Pinkie is on the couch, sitting on her haunches. The door’s top half stands open behind them.)
Applejack: This is just so excitin’, I can’t hardly believe it!
Pinkie: I know! Isn’t it the best? (Bloom bounds across as she speaks.)
Bloom: (giddily) I have another sister! (jumping onto couch, around Pinkie) I have another sister!
Pinkie: Well, you actually have a fourth cousin twice removed by a fifth cousin, but—that’s, like, exactly like a sister!
(The camera cuts to Bloom during this line—lost in the family tree tangle, but managing a sympathetic smile—and then back to Pinkie at its end. She stitches on a big squeaky grin.)
Applejack: I’d try to tone it down a little bit around non-family members— (to Granny) —because I don’t want to make them jealous, but—
Bloom: (jumping on couch) This is the best family ever!
(The same cannot be said of the couch, as the spring under her end chooses this moment to pop through the upholstery and catapult her out of view. Applejack steps over.)
Applejack: It really is. (covering spring with a pillow) You are gonna love bein’ an Apple. (Bloom crashes to the floor and sits up, dazed.) I mean, you’ve got the playful one…
(Little sister takes the hint and zips away, bouncing across the room on a beach ball. An o.s. crash and the return of the unoccupied ball tell that she has used a little too much gusto. Pinkie claps at the display.)
Applejack: …the strong one… (Close-up of Macintosh, lifting something and sweating a bit.)
Macintosh: (with a little effort) Ee-yup.
(Zoom out. He is hoisting the kitchen stove with one foreleg, but when he tilts it a bit to show off, a pie resting on the burners connects squarely with his face.)
Applejack: …and of course, there’s Granny Smith, who knows everythin’ about everythin’.
(A rocking chair begins to creak under her words; cut to the elderly mare on the end of this, now ensconced in the corner.)
Granny: A Ponyville snail can hibernate for up to forty-eight moons.
Pinkie: (mind blown) Who knew? (Cut to just outside the door.)
Applejack: (approaching it) And then, there’s me.
(She rests her front hooves on the lower half and breathes deeply, exhaling as Pinkie comes up alongside.)
Applejack: You smell that Sweet Apple air, Pinkie Pie? (Pinkie breathes, but Applejack shoves a hoof in her mouth before she can speak.) That was rhetorical. Of course you smell it. (She opens the lower half and bounds out.) You’re an Apple now!
Bloom: (galloping out) And Applejack is the one responsible for it!
Applejack: Aw, Apple Bloom, that is sweet, but— (Cut to Bloom, now in the farmyard.)
Bloom: It’s true! I mean, she keeps us all organized and on schedule— (galloping back) —and does her own part on top of it all. (Macintosh and Granny put their heads out; his face is now clean of pie residue.)
Macintosh, Granny: Mmm-hmm! (Applejack blushes at the compliment.)
Pinkie: (hopping around the yard) I was already super-happy as a Pie, and now I get to be a part of this amazing family too?
Bloom: (crossing to her) It’s even more amazin’ now that you’re in it!
(In time with a drum cadence.)
We’re family, we’re family, you and me are family!
(Accompanied by the following routine: face away from each other, then toward, then she circles around Pinkie, who turns in place and ends up twirling away at high speed.)
Pinkie: Best family twirl eveeeeerrrr!
(During which she spins past the other goggling family members and wipes out o.s., hard enough to shake the camera. Applejack has brought out Pinkie’s scroll.)
Applejack: Huh. I just can’t believe we never heard anything about this before. (She studies it intently.) Hmmm… (Here comes Bloom.)
Bloom: What’s wrong, sis?
Applejack: (as Macintosh, Granny gather for a look) I’m not seein’ where exactly it says we’re family.
(Pinkie zips in and whisks the document away; a moment later, she has it laid out so that it stretches into the barn through the open door.)
Pinkie: (following it inside; camera pans to track her) It’s riiiiiiiiiiiii—
(Midway through, she stops for a deep breath.)
Pinkie: (emerging from back door) —iiiiiiiiiiiight… (pointing at the end) …here! (A puzzled Applejack comes over.)
Applejack: It is?
Pinkie: Uh-huh. (She bends down to it.) Applesauce of the Apple family lineage is a fourth cousin twice removed of the Pie family!
(She shoves the scroll end into Applejack’s face on the end of this, and both stand up.)
Applejack: (pulling it loose) I see the part about our Great-Great-Auntie Applesauce and “fourth cousin twice removed” part, but that last bit’s awful smudged. Are you sure it says “Pie”?
Pinkie: (squinting one eye at lines) I guess it is a little smudged— (She drops the scroll and beams ear to ear.) —but I see most of it there. (turning away, eyes widening/shining) And when I read it, I knew in my heart it was true!
(Now Macintosh and Granny step out the back door.)
Granny: Well, ain’t that just the sweetest thing! (Bloom races out for a group hug with them and Pinkie.)
Applejack: It is, it is. I’d just hate for us to get all excited before we found out for sure.
Bloom: (kicking up a little dust) So how are we supposed to find out for sure?
(Her grandmother mumbles to herself for a second, then lets off a shout of triumph.)
Granny: Cousin Goldie Delicious! Her cabin’s practically an Apple family history museum! If anypony has the records to back up Pinkie’s theory, it’s her!
Applejack: (sighing a bit, scratching her head) I suppose we could always…I mean, Goldie Delicious doesn’t live all that far away.
(Close-up of Granny, panning to Macintosh, then past a slightly confused Pinkie down to Bloom. All three Apples are grinning expectantly.)
Applejack: (from o.s.) And we haven’t been on one as a family in a real long time.
(The camera backs up to Pinkie, who slaps on a grin to match the others’, then cuts back to Applejack.)
Applejack: Are y’all thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?
(Close-up of Pinkie, who nods, then zoom out to frame the whole family gathered around her.)
Applejack, Macintosh, Bloom, Granny: FAMILY ROAD TRIP!
(Judging from Pinkie’s suddenly perplexed expression, this was most definitely not the idea at the front of her mind. However, she quickly catches on and smiles. Wipe to a wagon piled with a random mishmash of belongings, everything from trunks to buckets to the trombone Pinkie acquired to fight off the parasprites in “Swarm of the Century.” Bloom walks up with a small bag in her teeth, while Macintosh works on stowing away the gear; he lifts her into the wagon. Pan quickly to the barn door, where Granny steps out wearing a flowered bonnet.)
Granny: Has anypony seen my travelin’ bonnet?
Bloom: Isn’t that it on your head? (Granny glances up at it. Long pause.)
Granny: (testily) No! (She crosses to the wagon.)
Bloom: It looks an awful lot like—
Granny: Well, it ain’t, and that’s final! (Applejack comes out, saddlebags on back.)
Applejack: Hey, everypony? Since Pinkie Pie’s back home gettin’ her stuff for the trip— (Close-up.) —can y’all gather ’round? (Zoom out; the other three do so.) I just wanted to say somethin’ real quick.
Granny: Aw, I’ve had somethin’ in my teeth this whole time, haven’t I? Gadsnickety! What a way to welcome a family member!
Applejack: Uh…no, Granny, your…teeth are fine. I just wanted to be sure that we’re all on the same page about showin’ Pinkie Pie how awesome a family we really are. We want her to get to know the family she’s been born into—but, like, the best version of it. You know? (Granny sidles up to her.)
Granny: Oh, pfffft! Don’t you worry, honey. We’re a great family, and she can’t help but see it. (Cut to Bloom, now in the wagon.)
Bloom: (hanging rump over the side) I’ll bet my future cutie mark’s gonna be a picture of me bein’ the best-behaved pony ever!
(She throws her forelegs into the air on this last, promptly falls over the side, and is back upright just as quickly.)
Bloom: That’s how good I’m gonna be.
(Pan slightly to frame Macintosh adding a tub of apples to the cargo.)
Bloom: Big Mac?
Macintosh: (chuckling) Ee-yup.
Pinkie: (from o.s., distant) Are y’all ready to go?
(She trots excitedly into the yard, toting her own saddlebags that shed confetti and streamers with every step.)
Pinkie: Because I’m ready to go, go, go!
(Here comes a grin that exposes every single tooth; at Macintosh’s gesture, her bags go flying into the wagon. The shower of gaudy paper bits leaves one on his nose, surprising him quite a bit.)
Applejack: Uh…Big Mac, are you sure we really need all that stuff?
(Close-up of the red stallion, zooming out; he eyes the full-to-bursting wagon.)
Macintosh: Ee-yup. (Bloom puts her head up inside, knocking a bag loose.)
Applejack: Are you sure you’re strong enough to really pull all that stuff?
Macintosh: (slightly annoyed) Ee-yup.
Applejack: (eyeing one wheel; wood creaks loudly) Are you sure the wagon’s strong enough to hold it all?
Macintosh: (groaning loudly, really fed up) Ee-yup!
(He throws his sister a warning look that alerts her to the presence of the happy pink pony directly behind; said sister straightens up and makes herself smile.)
Applejack: Then let’s get this show on the road!
(Pinkie grins hugely. Wipe to a profile close-up of Macintosh’s flank, the wagon’s harness now fixed around his midsection. He trots purposefully along as the camera zooms out to frame the entire rig; Applejack and Granny are in the seat, Bloom and Pinkie sitting high up on the luggage pile; the old green mare has ditched her bonnet, and Applejack has stowed her saddlebags. Pinkie has added a bunch of balloons, one of which is bright red and apple-shaped. The axles creak steadily in a brisk tempo, a couple of cooking pots joining in to bang together, and soon one wheel starts rolling over a rock on every second beat.)
Cheerful bluegrass banjo melody with bass, handclaps, cymbal/bass drum
Same tempo as the wagon noises (C major)
(Cut to a head-on view of Macintosh’s hooves, then to the balloons.)
Applejack: (from o.s.) Come on, Apples! (Zoom out to frame all five.) Y’all know this one! (She/Granny and Bloom/Pinkie clap hooves together and apart.)
Granny: Hot diggity!
Applejack: Yee-haa!
Macintosh: Ee-yup.
Applejack: We travel the road of generations
(An apple core hits the ground; a seed falls loose, and a fresh tree instantly springs up from it and bears fruit.)
Joined by a common bond
Tambourine in
(Pinkie picks one of the apples and scarfs it down.)
We sing our song ’cross the pony nation
(Applejack holds up a map of the region, filling the screen.)
From Equestria and beyond
Mandolin in
(It splits along a river, the halves sliding apart to give a view of the four Apples. Applejack and Bloom are on either side of Macintosh, and all three trot and skip together as Granny rides behind them.)
Applejack, Bloom: We’re Apples forever, Apples together
(Tilt up to Pinkie bouncing on her high perch.)
We’re family, but so much more
(Black clouds slide in overhead; the two sisters jump up and open umbrellas over her to stave off the rain.)
No matter what comes, we will face the weather
(Bloom swings hers down until it is directly underneath Applejack’s.)
We’re Apples to the core
(The two umbrellas become a giant apple core, which zooms toward the camera; one of the seeds fades away as the view passes through it, exposing Macintosh.)
Macintosh: Ee-yup.
Handclaps out; snare drum in; double-time feel
(As Bloom takes up the melody, the camera zooms out from a close-up of her and Pinkie to frame Applejack lounging alongside and strumming a banjo. The rain has stopped and the umbrellas have been stowed.)
Bloom: There’s no place that I’d rather be
(jumping onto Macintosh’s back)
Than travelin’ with my family
(He throws her a sly look and gallops ahead for a moment, leaving swirls of dust in his wake. Now Granny scrubs at a washboard and Pinkie plucks the strings of her balloons like a harp.)
Friends all around come to join and see
As we sing out across the land
(Again the three siblings trot and skip together.)
Fiddle in
Applejack, Macintosh, Bloom: We’re Apples forever, Apples together
(Tilt up to Pinkie, again bouncing atop the luggage.)
We’re family, but so much more
(A strong headwind has Macintosh straining to keep his forward motion.)
No matter what comes, we will face the weather
(Pinkie loses her grip and goes over the rear end, only to be lassoed back in; now black clouds clear to expose a cheerful sun.)
We’re Apples to the core
(Another giant core appears, zooming in and revealing Macintosh as at the end of the first chorus. The wind has died down.)
Macintosh: Ee-yup.
(One by one, the four riders put their heads out from beneath a sheet. A wipe frames the four family members playing pirate.)
Granny: We’re peas in a pod, we’re thick as thieves
(Up pops Pinkie, as a burglar in black/white-striped sweater, knit cap, and eye mask.)
Any cliché you can throw at me
(Her reflection and Pinkie’s waver on the water as they begin to parallel a river, now out of their costumes.)
We’re here for each other through thick and thin
(All gather in around the pink one, including Macintosh—now out of the harness. They have all shed their outfits.)
You’re always welcome with your Apple kin
(spoken) Whooee!
(The four extend a “take it away” gesture toward Pinkie. Zoom in to a close-up as she smiles hugely, then cut to frame all five. Macintosh is back in his harness, and she hugs the other three.)
Snare drum out; straight time (D major)
Pinkie: You’re more fun than the color pink
(She produces a can of that paint and throws the contents toward the camera; the stuff retreats to form a heart-shaped balloon. She is using it and the others to float-trot above the wagon.)
Or balloons flying over your favorite drink
(Now she puts her head up next to Applejack/Bloom/Granny and sets a pitcher of cider on the rail. The balloons float up to fill the screen, and she then pops up in extreme close-up to hug all four and drift back to the rear end. Macintosh briefly shifts to the seat with them.)
The love I feel here is swim, not sink
(She produces a kitchen sink and tosses it down toward them.)
As we party across this land
(Streamers and confetti flutter out around her in a head-on view of that end.)
Applejack, Bloom, Macintosh: (hidden from view by wagon) All right!
(Up front; with Granny in the seat, the other Apples trot and skip together, and Pinkie dances across to join them.)
Double-time feel
All: We’re Apples forever, Apples together
We’re family, but so much more
(Overhead view; storm clouds drift past, leaving first wind and rain, then snow in their wake.)
No matter what comes, we will face the weather
(The rear end again; Applejack/Bloom/Granny/Pinkie all back here now.)
We’re Apples to the core
Macintosh: (hidden from view) Ee-yup.
Song ends on Macintosh’s line
(As soon as the music stops, the wagon completely falls apart in the middle of the road. Wheels off, frame crushed, side panels collapsed, all buried under a landslide of baggage. Snap to black.)
Act Two
(Opening shot: fade in to a slow pan across the mingled parcels and detritus, under the scrutiny of five very uneasy pairs of eyes. Applejack is first to recover herself and lunges over to Macintosh, who has shed his wagon harness.)
Applejack: (angrily) Big Mac, I thought you said—
(She checks herself upon noticing the presence of an innocently smiling Pinkie.)
Applejack: (thinking on the fly) —that…I…thought…I mean, not…that I’m blamin’ you, because we don’t blame in this family, but… (ushering him away, sotto voce) …I thought you said all this stuff wasn’t gonna be too heavy.
(Her placating grin is met by his two icy green eyes boring into hers at extreme close range—so close, in fact, that their heads are butted together. Cut to Bloom, half-slumped over a trunk.)
Bloom: (dejectedly, bow drooping) How are we supposed to get to Goldie Delicious now? (Pan to Granny.)
Granny: I don’t know, but I don’t see how we can go back now either. We’re closer to Cousin Goldie’s than we are to home. (Close-up of Pinkie at the riverbank.)
Pinkie: (giddily) I have the best idea ever! (Zoom out as she continues.) FAMILY RIVER TRIP!
(A very long, uncomprehending silence from the current generation of Apples; Bloom’s bow has perked up.)
Applejack: Heh. Just one problem. We haven’t got a raft. (under her breath) ’Bout the only thing that didn’t get packed.
(That crack merits a hard-eyed little snarl from her elder brother.)
Granny: (walking to a tree) Well, back in the old days, we used to use the sap from a sugar pine tree to glue things together.
(The tree in question has a hapless squirrel stuck to its truck by the gooey stuff, and a few runnels of it adhere to her hoof when she touches it to the bark on the end of this.)
Applejack: That is, uh, fascinatin’. (Funny looks from Macintosh and Bloom.) Don’t know that it’s helpful, but it is fascinatin’.
(Granny has shoved her head beneath one of the wheels and is levering it up.)
Granny: Pfffft! Not helpful, my patootie! We’re gonna build ourselves a raft out of these here jalopy parts— (stamping a hoof onto a board) —and keep it held together with sugar pine sap!
(The stuff proves strong enough to stick the board to her hoof when she lifts it. Pinkie eyes the three grandchildren from the edge of the sunken riverbank, where she is hanging on by her forelegs.)
Applejack: Hmph. Worth a shot.
Pinkie: Woo-hoo!
(Having thrown her forelegs jubilantly upward, she drops out of sight with a thud. As the other three share a smile, the camera dissolves to a close-up of Applejack and zooms out. She and Bloom, now both wearing life jackets, are on board a craft assembled from tree trunks, vines, and boards that used to be the wagon’s bodywork. One of the wheels has been fitted up at the helm for steering. Applejack pulls a vine tight with her teeth, while Bloom checks a different spot.)
Applejack: Could be worse, I guess. (addressing the o.s. other end.) Now remember—this time we’re only packin’ the necessities.
(On the end of this, pan to the stern. Granny sits here in a jacket of her own, having gotten rid of the board she stepped on; Macintosh, looking over the luggage, can be seen wearing a blue duck inner-tube float instead and has removed his collar. The stack is still of a considerable size, and Pinkie emerges from its upper reaches as the two sisters come back toward it.)
Pinkie: Wait a second!
(She emerges fully, having donned a jacket, then whips out a camera and snaps a picture; its flash fades away to yield a close-up of the result. Granny is shielding her eyes with a hoof, and the three youngsters are frozen in assorted goofy looks of shock and surprise. Macintosh wears yellow “floaties” on his forelegs. From here, cut back to Pinkie.)
[Animation goof: Macintosh’s collar appears and disappears throughout the remainder of this act, primarily being seen in the pictures Pinkie takes.]
Pinkie: This one is for the scrapbook!
(With a laugh, she pulls one out and holds it up in her teeth, open to expose two very full pages. Close-up of these; the photos mounted on them depict moments from the trip so far and are decorated with buttons and star/heart stickers. What appears to be a knotted bit of grass or reed is also in display. Pan slowly from one side to the other.)
Applejack: (from o.s.) Pinkie Pie, when did you have time to make this? (Both again; Pinkie closes the book and sets it in her bags, suddenly serious.)
Pinkie: Applejack, when you’re family— (She thrusts her face into Applejack’s.) —you make the time.
(The no-nonsense mood evaporates when she breaks out in a smile and backs off at high speed. A push by Macintosh, and the raft floats away from shore and down the river.)
Applejack: Woo-hoo! We did it! (Pinkie has her camera on a holder around her neck.)
Pinkie: Say “soaked”!
(The other four throw puzzled glances back toward her, not knowing what to make of this—and also not seeing the crest that rises up over the bow. Off goes the camera; this time, the photo has captured four suddenly sodden and out-of-sorts family members. Dissolve to the raft traveling in calmer waters and drifting on the current. Applejack has the helm; Granny and Bloom are playing checkers, and all the passengers have dried out.)
Pinkie: (from o.s., slightly awestruck) So what you’re saying is, if I have the courage to jump— (She and Macintosh come into view at the rear; she has put her camera away.) —the parachute will open.
Macintosh: Ee-yup.
Pinkie: Whoa! That is deep!
Macintosh: Yup. (Applejack peers intently ahead for a moment.)
Applejack: Uh-oh. (She turns to address the others.) All right, y’all. Please tell me that the map didn’t get wet, ’cause it looks like I’m gonna need it right about now.
(Long overhead shot of the raft on the second half of this, panning ahead to frame the three-way split it is about to encounter. In close-up, the other four travelers look about themselves for a few seconds before Bloom climbs up to where a rolled-up paper protrudes from the luggage.)
Bloom: Found it!
(In time with a drum cadence, along with a bit of dancing in place and tossing it around.)
Who’s got the map? I got the map!
M to the A to the yeah, that’s right, P
Ain’t no other pony find a map like me
I’m Apple—
(The on-the-spot rap ends abruptly once she realizes that she has managed to throw the map out of sight.)
Bloom: Uh-oh.
(Her sister gasps in fright, and all three siblings make a mad dash for the stern as the parchment bounces ahead of them. A three-part yell, an attempt by Bloom to vault off her siblings’ heads and dive after the map, but none of it does any good; the thing sails over the edge and is caught by a leaping fish. Almost as soon as it hits the water again, an eagle swoops down to snatch it away, an event that Pinkie is quick to capture on film. The camera is around her neck again. Zoom out from her to frame a crushed Bloom pacing the planks; as the pink pony steps away, the yellow one blushes mightily and forces out a nervous little chuckle. Applejack approaches, showing a forced grin that quickly goes bye-bye.)
Applejack: (through gritted teeth) All you had to do was bring it to me. No singin’, no dancin’, no games. (Macintosh plods over, scowling.) Just walk it over.
Macintosh: (ditto) Ee-yup.
Pinkie: (raising her camera) Say “best siblings ever”!
(Mare and stallion crowd together, lifting the filly between their heads, and all three get grins in place just before the flash goes off.)
Pinkie: Ooh, that’s another keeper! (Bloom gets dropped; all three glare daggers at each other.)
Granny: (from o.s.) It’s okay, y’all. (Cut to her at the side rail, Applejack passing behind.) I traveled down this river as a filly, and I know it like the back of my hoof.
(The apple farmer reaches the wheel; cut to her perspective of the rapidly approaching fork in the watercourse, then back to the pair.)
Applejack: Are you sure you know which way to go?
Granny: Does a junebug like to hide in a tree?
Applejack: Uh…I don’t know.
Granny: Well, I do know! (Long overhead shot of the raft.) And I also know we want to head southeast. (Close-up; she shoves Applejack away from the wheel.) Now step aside, young’un.
(The craft veers into the rightmost of the three branches, and Granny twiddles the wheel a bit.)
Applejack: Um, Granny?
Granny: Yuh-huh? (They are approaching a rather large, overgrown, foreboding cave.)
Applejack: Are we supposed to go through a cave?
Granny: Ah, don’t worry, child. The scariest cave in Equestria was down that other way.
(Macintosh and Bloom are both seized by a sudden bout of fright, which leads to the former being seized by the latter out of reflex.)
Bloom: (small voice) Scariest cave in Equestria?
Granny: Oh, it’s a fright, all right. Filled with creatures that’ll eat you soon as look at you! (Pinkie straightens up from below with a shudder, having stowed her camera.)
Pinkie: Sounds scary! (eagerly) Tell us more! (Their perspective of the cave ahead.)
Granny: (ominously) Ponies go in, but they never come out.
(Cut to Applejack, then Macintosh/Bloom in turn; all three have been good and spooked by this description. Pinkie, on the other hand, is absolutely loving it and clapping her hooves softly together.)
Applejack: (pushing Granny aside, pointing ahead) And you’re sure it’s not that cave? The one we’re headin’ straight for?
Granny: (needled) Now, Applejack, I taught you better than to question your elder ponies!
(Zoom out slightly from the pair to frame a peacefully smiling Pinkie within easy earshot. Her big squeaky grin prompts these two to smile in return, artificial though it surely is, and Applejack throws a hoof across Granny’s shoulders.)
Applejack: Heh…you sure did. (She backs off.)
Granny: All righty, then! Now everypony just sit on back and leave the steerin’ to your old Granny Smith.
(The shadows of the cave mouth extend over the raft and put a fresh scare into each sibling. Cut to a long profile view of the passage, seen from outside, as the family floats in and is lost to sight. A three-part gulp of fear comes through very clearly—then a beat of silence. The next two lines reverberate slightly through the closed-in passage.)
Granny: (from inside) See now? Told you there’s—
(Any further words are drowned out by an unearthly roar, a chorus of terrified screams, and the sound of Pinkie’s camera.)
Pinkie: (from inside, singsong) Got it! (More threatening and scared-silly noises.) Best scary unidentifiable creature ever! (Still more.) Say “terrified”!
(One last round of screams, another flash pop, and all goes quiet. As the raft emerges into daylight, Pinkie is seen humming at the helm, Granny stands paralyzed with shock, and her grandchildren are clumped together in a multicolored, quivering tangle. It takes a second or two before the matriarch can get her tongue working.)
Granny: Guess that was the scariest cave in Equestria. (The others three glare at her; she steps to the wheel.) Uh, of course I meant to take us through it. Unexpected adventure is good for the soul.
Pinkie: Best granny wisdom ever! (Applejack joins them.)
Applejack: (dryly, nudging Granny aside) Uh-huh. Why don’t you just scooch on over there, Granny? Think I’ll take it from here on out.
Granny: (jerking wheel) Ugh! Is that how I taught you to treat your elder ponies? (Pinkie pops up between them.)
Pinkie: (to Applejack) Ooh, ooh! Is it?
Applejack: (to Granny) You taught me to trust my common sense.
(Each speaker yanks it back toward herself in turn, with Pinkie turning her head to follow the disagreement.)
Applejack: And my common sense says we should get to Goldie Delicious’ cabin in one piece!
Granny: And that is exactly what I’m gonna do!
Applejack: (smiling tightly) That is mighty generous of you, but I think you’ve done enough for one day!
Granny: (ditto) And how exactly are you gonna know which way to go?
Pinkie: (expectantly) Hmmmmmmm?
(Close-up of Applejack; during the next line, she glares back over her shoulder and the camera cuts to a chastened Bloom at the end of it.)
Applejack: It would be easier if the map hadn’t gone overboard!
Bloom: (anger flaring, stomping a hoof) Hey! There wouldn’t have been an overboard if Big Mac hadn’t over-packed the jalopy!
(The end of this comes through gritted teeth; tilt up from her to Macintosh.)
Macintosh: Ee-yu— (catching himself, suddenly angry) —hey!
Applejack: Exactly. So I think we can all agree that from here on out, I should be in charge of everything.
(The rest of the family reacts very badly to that suggestion, letting it boil over into a four-way shouting match and tug-of-war over the wheel. After a few seconds, the device comes loose from its mounting and is inadvertently sent airborne; Macintosh and Bloom watch helplessly as it splashes down into the river well behind them. It bobs up to the surface, a duck placidly pushing its head through the space between two spokes and quacking as it paddles away. Just as with the fish that snagged the map, though, an eagle dives in with a shrill cry and snatches up the waterfowl—wheel and all. Back on board, Applejack has fallen onto her back, but rises to her haunches in time to find herself on the receiving end of furious glares from the other three Apples. She can only work up a sheepish little laugh in response—and then an apparently oblivious Pinkie comes up alongside.)
Pinkie: I just want to say…that I think you are all super-duper! And I can’t wait to make the page in my scrapbook about the amazing waterfall we went down!
(None of the others can make any sense of this remark—but the steadily growing sound of rushing water clues them in all too quickly. They look worriedly ahead, the camera cutting to a head-on view of the raft and zooming out to frame the falls they are indeed about to reach. Tilt down quickly through several hundred feet of sheer drop, past a flock of ducks which includes the one that stole the wheel, and stop on the foaming pool at the base of this mighty cataract and zoom out briefly. Back to the raft; all four Apples yell in panic and scramble about the deck, their voices transitioning to full-throated screams as they plummet over the brink. The camera is positioned to point up the falls at them, and the view fades to black as their images fill the screen.)
Act Three
(Opening shot; fade in to a long shot of the falls and the free-falling raft with four of its five passengers screaming at the top of their lungs. Cut to a close-up, Pinkie dropping into view at the rear end during the following with camera around neck.)
Pinkie: Wheeeeeeee!
(She starts working the shutter. A series of photos: herself with a terrified Bloom, holding a panicked Granny, giving a noogie to a freaked-out Macintosh, making a silly face as Applejack hollers and covers her eyes. The slide show ends with a cut back to the raft just before it disappears into the foamy torrents with a mighty splash. It breaks the surface after a long delay, still intact and with every piece of cargo and Apple family member still in place, and drifts out to calmer waters. Pinkie is nowhere to be seen, however. Granny has deployed an umbrella, but the thoroughly waterlogged appearance of all four Apples tells just how little good it did.)
Granny: (folding it up) Huh. Told you that sugar pine sap would hold this thing together.
(The missing pink pony drifts down into view, hanging onto the balloons she brought along for this very strange trip. She touches down gently atop the luggage pile, but this slight shift in weight is enough to crack the raft from side to side. Timbers, gear, and four ponies vanish into the water, their yells being swallowed up in an instant, and Pinkie is left floating by herself above a scatter of boards. The balloons pop with no warning, dropping her into the drink with a shriek.)
(Dissolve to the three younger Apples clumping along a forest path. Macintosh, now wearing his collar again, is hauling a sledge built from salvaged timbers and loaded with a few surviving possessions and Granny. The family’s downcast expressions and groans broadcast just how much of a toll this journey has taken on their spirits. Pinkie hops cheerfully alongside; all five have shed their flotation gear and are dry. Pan to follow her ahead of them, stopping on a thatched-roof log cabin that has definitely seen better days.)
Pinkie: (hopping in place) We’re here, we’re here! (All stop.) We made it to Goldie Delicious-es-es-es-es’!
(Close-up of the door, which has a note taped to it; she leans in and pores over this.)
Pinkie: You guys! (She yanks it off.) There’s a note!
(Turning from the door, she proceeds to study the page—silently—for several seconds, punctuated by a short burst of the giggles.)
Applejack: Uh, Pinkie Pie? Maybe you could read that one out loud?
Pinkie: Ooh, right! Sorry. I haven’t even read it yet. I was just looking at how pretty the paper is. Okay. It says that she ran off to run some errands but will be home soon. (She pins the note under a hoof.) Ah! That’s perfect!
Bloom: Why is that perfect?
Pinkie: Because it’ll give me enough time to get more scrapbook paper! (hopping back along path past others) See you!
(Four gloomy-faced Apples gather on the front walk.)
Bloom: Worst family road trip ever.
Macintosh: Ee-yup.
Applejack: I can’t believe she witnessed our family fallin ‘apart like this. (sighing, to Granny) I can’t believe I was arguin’ with you so much that I tore the wheel right off the raft. It’s like I wasn’t myself at all.
Granny: Aw, that wasn’t your fault. My stubborn streak got ahold of me somethin’ fierce. Should’ve let you take the wheel long afore that.
Bloom: It was my fault the map got all wet.
Macintosh: And I was the pony who— (Granny slaps a hoof over his mouth.)
Granny: Now, now, Big Mac. You gotta know we forgive you for packin’ the jalopy so much that it collapsed. You was just eager to please Pinkie Pie like the rest of us. (He smiles.)
Applejack: Everypony, I think we have to let Pinkie Pie know that even if she does discover that she’s an Apple, she does not have to feel obliged to consider herself one. (Cut to Macintosh and Granny.)
Granny: (glumly) Sure as applesauce.
Pinkie: (from o.s.) Are you kidding me?!?
(Both ponies glance back in the direction of her voice; sure enough, here she stands on the path, a bag of crafting supplies next to her. The scrapbook she has been putting together falls to the ground at her hooves.)
Pinkie: You guys are the best family ever!
Applejack: How can you say that? We started out as one big unit, and now look at us.
Pinkie: Yeah! Now look at you! (Cut to Granny/Macintosh, panning slowly to Applejack/Bloom; she continues o.s.) You’re all here still in one big unit, loving each other and owning up to what went wrong.
(The four trade slightly dumbfounded looks at this; back to Pinkie.)
Pinkie: You never gave up, even when things got tough.
Bloom: (to Applejack) She does make a pretty good point.
Pinkie: You aren’t just family— (hopping in place) —you’re best friends! (She tackles Applejack, knocking her hat off.) And I want to be an Apple more than ever!
Bloom: And we want you to be one too!
Pinkie: Yippee! (Giggle.)
(A quavery old female voice with a Southern accent cuts in.)
Old voice: Now that’s how you run an errand!
(The speaker comes over the last rise in the path. Elderly earth pony mare, tan coat, bright green eyes marked by birdcatcher spots, very pale blond mane piled in curls atop her head, lace-trimmed pink shawl secured by a cameo brooch, saddlebags stuffed to bursting with cats. Goldie Delicious has just come home.)
Pinkie: Hel-loooo!
Goldie: Hel-loooo yourself! (Applejack is upright, with her hat back on.)
Applejack: You must be Goldie Delicious. So nice to meet you.
Goldie: Uh-huh! And who exactly are you? (Pinkie throws her forelegs around all four of her fellow travelers.)
Pinkie: We’re Apples!
Applejack: Well, we think we’re all Apples, but we need your help findin’ out if Pinkie Pie here is our fourth cousin twice removed.
Goldie: Well, why didn’t you say so? (crossing the yard) If anypony can help solve this genealogy mystery, it’s me!
(The move reveals a short tail behind the saddlebags. As she speaks, the camera cuts briefly to Macintosh/Granny trading an uncertain sidewise glance, then to Applejack/Pinkie smiling at each other. Reaching the cabin door, Goldie strains to push it open with her head, but it only moves a fraction. Her second try shifts it a little more, but it still swings shut when she pulls her head away.)
Goldie: Oh! I am sorry about this. (Nervous laugh.) I wasn’t exactly expectin’ company. Uh, let me try to squeeze in here. (pushing on door; cats yelping) Gotta…get some oil, a thing for the …for the hinges and…
(This last is broken up by the occasional grunt or giggle as she slowly manages to back in through the opening, and finally she falls backward into the cabin.)
Goldie: (from inside, amid clattering and thrown-out items) All righty, then…just have to move a few things out of the way of the door…
(Said items include a wide array of old junk and more than a few protesting felines. Cut to the visiting quintet—four slightly unnerved, one smiling.)
Goldie: (from inside, more clatter and cats’ yowls) Ooh! Ah! Oh! Get off of that, Mr. Puffy! Hold it! Mm! (The closed door; the barrage has stopped.) Come on, Pooples. Mm. Come here, sweetheart.
(With all more or less quiet, she opens the door and peeks out.)
Goldie: Come on in!
(Cut to just inside the cabin; the shaft of light from outside does very little to relieve the dimness. Goldie has put away her bags, and her cutie mark can now be seen as a tree filled with gold apples, a few of which have fallen loose. Pinkie is first to put her head in, followed by Applejack, and the camera zooms out quickly to frame the entire interior. The place is stuffed floor to ceiling with all manner of haphazardly piled belongings, and cats of various shapes and sizes—including a full-grown cheetah—lounge atop several stacks.)
Goldie: Sorry about the mess.
(In no time, the room is filled with a cacophony of meows, yowls, and snarls; one cat even coughs up a hairball for good measure. As the five cautiously enter, a clatter from ground level brings Applejack up short.)
Applejack: Whoa… (Tilt down to frame a stack of horseshoes she has just knocked over.)
Goldie: Oh, careful, now. Those belonged to your Great-Great-Great-Great-Uncle Apple Tart.
(Cut to Bloom, who has found a gingerbread house with a bite or two taken out of the roof. Macintosh soon joins her.)
Bloom: Well, whose was this?
Goldie: (from o.s.) Oh, that was my lunch…a couple of weeks ago.
(Cut to the upper end of a very tall stack of books and tilt down to its base as Goldie steps to it. Two cats jump out of the way, exposing a third, brown one behind them—but a good hard puff of air from the overzealous collector causes it to fly apart in a cloud of dust. Nothing is left of the literal dust kitty except the hind legs. Goldie snags the second book from the bottom in her teeth and withdraws it, causing all the others to settle down neatly; the stack totters a bit, but does not collapse.)
Goldie: (with effort, dragging book to Apples) And this here is the complete record… (She props it upright, opens it, and flips pages.) …of our family tree.
(Cut to Pinkie, paying no mind whatsoever as she doodles on a mirror. She has given her reflection glasses, thick eyebrows, and a pair of wings and drawn a few balloons in just for fun. Dropping the pencil in her teeth that she has used for this bit of art, she zips away from the glass and trots to the others.)
Goldie: (turning pages, mumbling to herself) It’s not here…or here…or here…well, it certainly isn’t here, is it?…Oh, here it is! (Pause.) Oh, dear.
Granny: “Oh, dear”? What is it? (Pinkie, worried, takes a close look.)
Pinkie: Am I not an Apple after all?
Goldie: Well, that’s just it. I don’t know. The page is all smudged.
(Pinkie looks even closer at the volume, then sadly at her own cutie mark.)
Goldie: I sure am sorry, but I don’t think I can help you after all.
Pinkie: Don’t be sorry. It’s okay. I’m just a little disappointed that I’ll never know for sure if I’m a part of this family.
(Close-up of Applejack, eyebrows lowering fiercely, then zoom out to frame all six as she smiles.)
Applejack: Well, I know for sure.
Pinkie: What do you mean? You can’t know.
Applejack: I can know for sure that it doesn’t matter what the book says or doesn’t say. After all you’ve been through with us, and all you’ve put up with, it’s obvious you’re an Apple to the core.
Granny: Darn tootin’!
Bloom: Yes-sirree!
Macintosh: Ee-yup!
(The maybe-Apple lets off a tiny happy squeal and slides close enough to gather all five into a group hug around the family history. Her tail rises into view several feet in front, holding her camera and aiming it at them.)
Pinkie: Say “best family hug ever”!
Others: Best family hug ever!
(A click and flash, and the view changes to show this new photo pasted into Pinkie’s scrapbook. She reaches into view to add a few stickers and buttons here and there, and the camera zooms out to frame both this entire page and the one facing it. Here are several more pictures from the trip, including a dim one that could only have come from the cave, and a piece of fabric from Granny’s flowered bonnet.)
(Cut to frame the Ponyville five. They have procured a new cart, with Macintosh in the harness and Applejack/Bloom/Granny riding. Pinkie, standing on the ground and without her camera, has the scrapbook open in front of her; after a moment, she closes it and flips it up to land on her head. The book slowly sinks into her mane and out of sight, and she jumps on board.)
Applejack: Thanks again for the wagon, Goldie. We’ll see you soon. (Camera shift; they are in the now-clean front yard, and Goldie is at the door.)
Goldie: Y’all sure you don’t want to take any of these Apple family heirlooms home with you?
(Right on cue, a torrent of random items spills out the door, nearly burying her. One cat amid the flood is promptly lifted clear on the head of a second. The four passengers glance toward the big stallion.)
Macintosh: Nn-nope.
Same melody and instrumentation as the final chorus of Act One, brisk 4 (D major)
(Goldie waves goodbye as the group starts down the road.)
All five: We’re Apples forever, Apples together
(Close-up of a second, different photo of them with Goldie, then zoom out. She is hanging this one on her wall alongside many others that show both family members and cats.)
We’re family, but so much more
(The travelers again. Applejack and Pinkie switch places, and the former opens an umbrella.)
No matter what comes, we will face the weather
We’re Apples to the core
Macintosh: Ee-yup.
Song ends on his line
(Dissolve to a long shot of Sweet Apple Acres, with the wagon parked in front of the barn and Macintosh unloading it, then cut to the three mares in the living room. Applejack and Pinkie are gathered around the shared journal, which rests open on a stool, and Granny is watering a plant.)
[Animation goof: The designs on the front and back covers have switched places from their positions at the end of “Daring Don’t.”]
Applejack: Twilight agreed this was definitely an experience worth puttin’ in the journal.
(Close-up; she flips pages. Where “Daring Don’t” showed the book from far enough away to only pick out colored spots on the cover’s horseshoe, this time they can be discerned as the jewels that comprised the original five supporting Elements of Harmony. Magic still sits within the shoe’s bend.)
Applejack: Think I’ll write about how bein’ a good family—
(Outside again. Macintosh has the folded umbrella in his mouth and sets it down, then gets a surprise when a grinning Bloom straightens up into view in the cart, a bucket of apples on her head. He returns the grin, and she laughs.)
Applejack: (voice over) —isn’t about bein’ perfect as much as it is about bein’ able to get through the rough patches together. (Bloom jumps over the side with the fruit.) About bein’ able to forgive each other for mistakes.
(On the end of this, cut back to the living room. Bloom enters.)
Bloom: (setting bucket down, hugging Pinkie) Don’t forget to mention how really good friends can also feel like they’re family. (Macintosh looks in from a side door.)
Macintosh: Ee-yup.
(Applejack leans down, intending to get her teeth around a quill resting on a nearby table, but her little sister is quick to intercept.)
Bloom: You know what? Maybe I should write it. I’m good at makin’ things sound excitin’.
Granny: I have a history of excellent storytellin’. I should probably do it. (Macintosh begins to sneak the quill away; Applejack stops him.) Hey! Where in the haystack do you think you’re goin’ with that there pen?
(In less time than it takes to say “creative differences,” the four have launched into a lively argument over who gets to sling the ink. Zoom out from them to frame Pinkie in the fore, watching from the other end of the living room.)
Pinkie: (to the camera) Look at me! I’m part of the Apple family too! (She zips into the heart of the fray.) I’m arguing! Argue, argue, argue! Bicker, bicker!
(Cut to a long shot of the barn exterior and tilt up toward the sky as her laughter rings out through the four quarreling voices. The camera stops on the bright yellow sun, the babel fading away in the process, and the view “irises out.” It pauses briefly, leaving a window in the shape of an apple core, and then completes the transition to black.)
RAINBOW FALLS
Written by Corey Powell
Produced by Sarah Wall, Devon Cody
Story editing by Meghan McCarthy
Supervising direction by Jayson Thiessen
Co-directed by Jim Miller
Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)
Note: Unless otherwise noted, all mentions of ponies other than the six main characters
refer to pegasi.
Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of Ponyville during the day, seen from well outside the village proper. Zoom in slowly.)
Rainbow Dash: (voice over) All right, ponies!
(Cut to a spot on one of the paths leading through the outlying park land. She paces past Bulk Biceps, Fluttershy, and the latter’s rabbit Angel, all standing at attention. This shot presents the first full-frontal view of Bulk to date in the series, picking out the two small gold earrings he wears, one per ear. Previous appearances have only shown one ear at a time.)
Rainbow: Listen up! (Close-up of Fluttershy.)
Fluttershy: We’re all ears. (addressing herself o.s.) Right, Bulk Biceps?
(On the end of this, pan/tilt up to the beefy white pegasus, who has flexed one of his forelegs and is busily kissing its bulge of muscle. He stops, realizing that his attention is needed elsewhere, and proceeds to flex both forelegs while letting off three quick grunts.)
Bulk: I’m all muscles! (Balance on forelegs; do a few push-ups.) YEAH!!
(This last word is delivered directly into Fluttershy’s face; he then drops back to all fours.)
Rainbow: I like your attitude, Bulk Biceps. (pacing) But it’s gonna take more than muscles and “yeah”s to get us to the Equestria Games. (Overhead shot; Angel is now gone. She hovers before them.) We are the aerial relay team. And it’s up to the three of us to make sure that we qualify at the tryouts. And do I need to remind you how much I— (catching herself) —I mean, Ponyville—heh—wants to qualify and make it to the Games?
Fluttershy: I remember. I really, really, really want to qualify for you and Ponyville.
Bulk: (into her ear) BRING IT ON!!
(He snorts out steam; now Pinkie Pie zips onto the scene. She is dressed in a yellow/blue cheerleader outfit with pink edging on the vest, and pink/gold-striped ribbons are tied in her mane and tail. Small pompoms in these latter two colors are hung around her neck, as is a bullhorn, and she has large gold pompoms attached to her front hooves.)
Pinkie: (waving them) Gimme a P for Ponyville! (Fluttershy yelps and huddles down; she calls into the bullhorn.) P, Ponyville!
(The P aimed into the amplifier is held out as a cheerleader might do when performing a routine for a stadium crowd. By the time Pinkie finishes, Fluttershy is hunkered down far enough to crush herself into the grass.)
Bulk: P!!
(Pinkie is blown backward by this and lands upside down on her head; Fluttershy crosses to her.)
Fluttershy: (as Pinkie gets up) Oh! Thanks, Pinkie Pie. That was a scary—I mean, great cheer. (Pinkie smiles; Rainbow comes up behind her.)
Rainbow: Just make sure you have one ready for when we qualify for the aerial relay.
Bulk: AND AFTER THAT, FOR WHEN WE WIN GOLD MEDALS AT THE EQUESTRIA GAMES!!
Applejack: (from o.s.) Not so fast!
(Wheels are heard turning; cut to her, hauling in a cart stacked with pastries.)
Applejack: If you’re gonna be good, you’re gonna be better with some of my apple brown bettys in you. They’re perfect.
(Fluttershy and Bulk eye the offering happily as she stops the cart in front of them. Before either one can move to taste then, Pinkie emerges from within, scattering the goods everywhere.)
Pinkie: (waving pompoms) P is for perfect!
(In close-up, the blue flyer manages to combine an eye roll, a head shake, and a hoof clapped to her face in one disgusted instant. Cut back to Applejack, Fluttershy, and Bulk, all of whom are eagerly chowing down on the spilled desserts.)
Rainbow: (from o.s.) All right, team! (The two pegasi fall into formation in front of her.) Show me what you got! (eyeing Fluttershy’s legs) Put some bend into those knees! (Fluttershy does so; she shifts to Bulk’s tiny wings.) Flap those wings!
(They start to buzz, and Fluttershy gets her own going as Rainbow circles back around to face her.)
Rainbow: And I want to see all four hooves off the ground on the count of three!
(Her two teammates brace for liftoff—then nothing but a sly smile from their coach/captain. After a long silence, she speaks again.)
Rainbow: (quickly) One, two, three!
(Both Fluttershy and Bulk flap mightily, the former rising slowly off the ground in fits and starts, the latter grunting and yelling for all he is worth as he ascends at an almost glacial pace.)
Rainbow: Don’t forget to breathe while you’re up there!
(The massive stallion lets out the breath he has been holding; this is enough to make him lose his lift and start dropping back to earth. He grabs Fluttershy’s tail, prompting a cry from her as she gets dragged down as well. Rainbow covers her face, and the camera cuts to Applejack just in time for an o.s. impact that shakes her, the cart, and the scattered helpings of brown betty. Her blue and yellow friends have wound up pinned under Bulk’s sheer poundage and are struggling weakly to extricate themselves; Pinkie stands up behind the pile.)
Pinkie: (waving pompoms) P is for… (Stop; Fluttershy goes limp.) …uh…pain?
(Rainbow groans weakly and lets her chin thump onto the dirt. Fade to black.)
OPENING THEME
Act One
(Opening shot: fade in to a stretch of railroad tracks running between forest and mountains. The Ponyville-to-wherever train chugs over a rise; inside one of the cars, Rainbow watches the scenery scroll by a window. Zoom out to frame her on one of the padded benches, with Twilight Sparkle seated alongside; a two-tone-blond mare addresses them.)
Mare 1: Good luck, Rainbow Dash.
(Thunderlane—the dark gray stallion who came down with feather flu in “Hurricane Fluttershy”—comes up alongside her.)
Mare 1: Sorry we couldn’t fly with you on the aerial relay, but the air sprinters needed us too.
Thunderlane: Too bad we can only compete in one event. (sighing; both walk on) But rules are rules.
Twilight: (waving after them; they go to the next car) Good luck! (to Rainbow) It was nice of you to be part of the team that doesn’t have…uh…
(The next shot, in which she leans over to inspect Bulk’s out-of-proportion plumage, establishes that he is on the train as well. She comes back with a humoring smile.)
Twilight: …the strongest flyers.
Rainbow: Nothing nice about it. I know that I can pick up the slack for anypony. With me on the team, we’ll qualify. (Chuckle.) I’m sure of it. (Cut to just outside the car windows.)
Twilight: Ponyville is very lucky to have you.
Rainbow: Yeah, I’m pretty awesome.
(Close-up of Bulk, seated on a bench and framed from chest to knees. Fluttershy strains to drag herself out from beneath the behemoth; she is holding a pennant decorated with the fillies/heart design of the Ponyville flag, as seen in “Flight to the Finish.” After several seconds with no forward progress, she gives up.)
Fluttershy: I am so proud to be representing Ponyville. (Another heave; still no good.) Oh, it’s such an honor to even try out for the Games. (Longer shot; Twilight is watching them both.) I just hope I don’t let anypony down.
Bulk: WE’LL MAKE THEM PROUD!!
(He is launched away by the sudden emergence of a pompom-waving Pinkie.)
Pinkie: P is for proud! We’re gonna be the best fans anypony has ever seen!
(Up comes Rarity from behind the semi-vacated bench.)
Rarity: Ooh…can’t wait to see what everypony else is wearing— (Close-up.) —even though I am absolutely sure they won’t be better than the Ponyville uniforms I’m designing for the Equestria Games. (Pan to Applejack alongside.)
Applejack: And we will make it to the Games once everypony carbo-loads on my apple brown bettys.
(On the second half of this line, the view cuts to frame the entire Ponyville contingent. Bulk has ended up sprawled on the floor, and Fluttershy is up and sitting on her haunches, having dropped her pennant. Applejack holds up a piece of the sweet stuff before the camera cuts to a long overhead view of the tracks, partly obscured by a rock overhang.)
Pinkie: (voice over) I can’t wait!
(The train emerges into view, the camera tilting up to follow its progress around the outskirts of a grassy plateau dotted with tents and athletic fields and into a tunnel. A rainbow-tinted waterfall pours down a stream that meanders along the far edge before disappearing over a cliff, and the tilt continues to frame a still-higher plateau from which it is issuing. Here stands Rainbow Falls, a village not too different from Ponyville; freshets of rainbow light cascade down from the clouds, some of them forming a small lake from which the stream is flowing toward the falls. The train rolls across one last bridge and hisses to a stop at a station adjacent to the lake; pan away from it to frame the locals swimming in the stream and going about their usual business. The majority are pegasi, but a decent number of unicorns and earth ponies are mixed in. Rainbows figure prominently in the buildings’ flags and decorations.)
(Dissolve to one torrent gushing down from above, bouncing off two clouds along the way, and tilt down to the sound of ponies’ grunts of exertion. The tilt turns into a pan across the athletic fields once the camera reaches them; a plethora of ponies—and even a squad of griffons—are flying, stretching, lifting weights, trotting in place to get ready for the trials. Rainbow leads her friends and teammates through the tumult, a couple of ponies stopping to get a better look as they pass.)
Stallion: There’s Rainbow Dash! She’s an awesome flyer!
Mare 2: I heard that she’s flying the last third of the relay, which means everypony else is gonna have to be way ahead to beat her.
(On the end of this, cut to the group setting up shop. The Ponyville flag has been run up on a pole, and Applejack/Fluttershy/Pinkie/Bulk stretch out the supports to hold up the corners of a large blanket as Rainbow and Rarity watch. Twilight is not among them. Just as they get the posts set in place, a great boom from above draws all six pairs of eyes; its source proves to be a trio of Wonderbolts zooming overhead. In close-up, the three are seen as Spitfire, Soarin’, and Fleetfoot—the last of these being the white-maned mare who won the Wonderbolts Derby in “Sweet and Elite.” Her coat is very nearly the same shade of blue as Rainbow’s. They swoop downward, one by one, all clad in their blue/yellow flight suits and goggles.)
Stallion: (from o.s.) Oh! The Wonderbolts!
Mare 3: (from o.s.) I hear they’re flying for Cloudsdale. (Ground level; Rainbow walks by, gazing upward.)
Mare 2: Then Cloudsdale will definitely qualify. They’re the best flyers ever!
(They come in for a landing next to their biggest fan. A very light blue streak is seen on the trailing edge of Fleetfoot’s mane now.)
Spitfire: And the game is on.
Soarin’: (raising his goggles) Heh! Nice to see there’s some real competition here.
Fleetfoot: (crossing to Rainbow, poking her in the chest) Two more days of practice, then we’ll see you in the air, Rainbow Dash… (trotting away) …if you’re lucky.
(Her voice has a raspy quality not unlike Rainbow’s, but is in a somewhat lower register and with a bit of a lisp. Her two teammates follow her off the field as Twilight walks up.)
Rainbow: (sighing contentedly) The Wonderbolts know a winner when they see one. And we’ll be winners just as soon as we practice. (addressing herself o.s.) Right, team?
(Pan slightly to frame Fluttershy and Bulk now standing nearby.)
Fluttershy: Right.
Bulk: YEAH!! (Pinkie, out of nowhere, arrives in a burst of confetti/streamers.)
Pinkie: Hooray!
(She adds a hearty blow on a party favor for emphasis. Twilight lets her eyes flick uncertainly toward the two squad-mates, then back to Rainbow.)
Twilight: And, um… (forcing a smile) …I’m with her! Hooray!
Mares: (from o.s., cheerleading voice) Give us some Clouds!
(Pan quickly to the speakers, two in number, dressed in blue-trimmed white/pink outfits and using pink pompoms. Their identically styled manes are tied back with blue/white-striped ribbons that sport rainbow-marked clips, and each mare’s mane/tail sports streaks of white and a second color. One mare has a light blue coat and eyes, with a very light blue in her mane; the other has a light blue-green coat, light blue-violet eyes, and bright pink in her mane. A crowd has gathered to watch the display.)
Cheerleaders: Give us some Dale!
And what do you get?
CLOUDSDALE!
(First line: they gallop toward each other and stand on their front hooves. Second: they somersault forward, trading places, and come up standing on their hind legs. Third: wave the pompoms as confetti and streamers rain down. Cut to Twilight/Fluttershy/Pinkie as the pair’s whoops and yells ring out from o.s.)
Pinkie: (gasping excitedly) Where can I get pompoms like those?
(This question earns her a couple of funny looks. Dissolve to Rainbow flying at the level of the flagpoles’ tops. She stops and addresses herself toward ground level.)
Rainbow: So, do I need to remind you of what our goal is here? (Cut to just behind her; she is speaking to Fluttershy and Bulk.)
Bulk: Uh…MAYBE?
Rainbow: We want to qualify. We need to be one of the first four teams to cross the finish line.
(On the end of this, she moves aside slightly, exposing said finish line behind and above her. It consists of a flat rainbow ring whose interior is filled with cloud, and which has been marked with a black/white-checkered banner.)
Rainbow: Bulk Biceps, you’re the first flyer, so let me see you flap it!
(The big guy throws his wings into top gear and rises slowly into an erratic flight, grunting and groaning with effort the whole way. Up above, just as he finally gets into something of a level course, a brown betty rockets into view from below and finds his chin with unerring accuracy. The hit flips him backward and sends him plummeting o.s., leading to a thud that shakes the camera as Rainbow stares down after him. Down on the grass, Applejack has parked her cart of snacks and piled a few of them alongside herself; one rests on the end of her tail and is swiftly whipped upward. It only misses Rainbow thanks to the latter’s quick backward dodge, then starts to drop back to earth.)
Rainbow: What the—? (Splat next to Applejack.)
Applejack: Sorry! (looking over her shoulder) Got the idea from them, but…
(Pan in that direction and stop on two mares a short distance away. Wearing white chef’s toques, they stand in front of separate miniature seesaws, with small cakes loaded onto the low ends opposite them. More of these items are piled behind them.)
Bakers: (calling overhead, stomping high ends) Hooves down! Cakes up!
(The snacks are launched upward toward an airborne Spitfire and Fleetfoot, who have changed out of their Wonderbolt suits but still have their goggles on. They do a quick loop-the-loop and come out of it just as the cakes reach their mouths, and the mares chomp these down without the slightest interruption in their flight—or even having to lift a hoof to catch them. Fleetfoot’s cutie mark can be discerned as a shimmering red/gold bird in flight.)
Applejack: …it looks like they got better aim. (Rainbow turns away from the scene.)
Rainbow: Okay.
(She holds up a horseshoe with a sun/cloud silhouette worked into the interior of its crook.)
Rainbow: The passing of the baton needs to be seamless. (Bulk rises toward her.) You shouldn’t miss a wing beat— (eyeing him point-blank; their foreheads thump together) —or drop a hair in altitude. (She grabs one of his forelegs.) And whatever you do, don’t let go of it.
(The baton is slapped onto his hoof; she backs off as Fluttershy flies up to him.)
Fluttershy: Are you really, really, really sure you’re ready? I mean, I don’t want to take it if you’re not super-sure.
Bulk: READY!!
(The coach watches intently as mare and stallion gingerly extend a front hoof toward each other for the pass. A touch, a clank, and Fluttershy has it on hers; Rainbow smiles, and Fluttershy backs away with an expression of happy surprise. She has barely gotten clear of Bulk, though, when she loses her grip and drops the baton; it bangs to the grass just in front of Rarity.)
Rarity: (floating it up, trotting off) Ponyville can do so much better. I’ll be back with a freshly painted one in no time.
Rainbow: (crossly, calling down from overhead) We were using that! And it’s not like anypony else has color-coordinated horseshoes or anything!
(She is just in time to watch Spitfire pass a baton to Fleetfoot; same design, but the horseshoe is gold and the sun/cloud piece is silver. Both fly off together, leaving the sky-blue daredevil to stare disbelievingly after them. She sighs wearily and settles to the ground near Twilight.)
[Animation goof: In this shot, Fleetfoot’s cutie mark appears as a blue horseshoe inside the arc of a yellow shock wave.]
Rainbow: I guess some ponies do.
Twilight: Some ponies do what?
Rainbow: (sighing, hanging head) Have a better chance of qualifying and going to the Equestria Games than others.
(She clumps away, leaving her Princess friend to mull things over. Dissolve to an overhead shot of the fields, the Ponyville trio watching a pair of tents being used by Cloudsdale. Spitfire lies underneath one of them, getting a massage, and three support crew members are on duty out front. She has put on the deeply tinted sunglasses she used in “Wonderbolts Academy.” The crew is dressed in full-body jumpsuits, boots, and cloud-marked baseball caps, along with headset microphones. A series of hoof signals from one of them brings Soarin’ down for a low pass; like Spitfire and Fleetfoot, he wears only his goggles, not his flight suit.)
Rainbow: Watch and learn. (He loops above the Ponyville team.) The Cloudsdales are Wonderbolts, and Wonderbolts are the best flyers there are—and my personal heroes. (leaning into Fluttershy’s, Bulk’s faces) So maybe you can learn something.
(Glancing upward at the sound of his flight, she sees the light blue stallion maneuver deftly around and through a line of floating rainbow hoops. A hoof goes under each teammate’s chin to lift their eyes toward the spectacle.)
Rainbow: Please learn something?
(Fleetfoot steps out, having changed into a track suit—light blue-green front half, white rear half—and traded her goggles for mirrored sunglasses.)
Fleetfoot: (calling overhead) Come on, Soarin’, pick up the pace! You can do better than that!
Spitfire: I sure hope so.
(On the start of the next line, cut to the two cheerleaders doing a routine in the field. They have traded their pink pompoms in for dark blue ones.)
Cheerleaders: Practice! Practice! Yaaay, practice!
(Tilt up into the sky as they finish. Soarin’ nudges his goggles up so he can get a clear view of the two mares, taking his eyes off the road. When he looks ahead again, his face goes slack with shock and he catches a wing on the edge of a pole-mounted hoop while passing through it. The hoop bends under his weight…)
Soarin’: Whoa!
(…and then snaps back, catapulting him toward the ground. Spitfire and Fleetfoot hurry closer, the former now in a track suit like Fleetfoot’s and the latter pulling off her shades to reveal wide violet eyes, and the Ponyville team voices a collective gasp of fright. Cut to ground level, the camera pointing straight up at the nose-diving flyer.)
Soarin’: WHOOOOAAAA!!
(Fade to black as his open mouth fills the screen.)
[Animation goof: In this sequence, his cutie mark appears as a lightning bolt superimposed on a blue-gray storm cloud, instead of the winged bolt seen at the end of “A Canterlot Wedding.”]
Act Two
(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of Soarin’, hurtling toward the ground and yelling every inch of the way. As eyes bug out and jaws drop, Rainbow is first to move; with only feet to go before impact, she arcs across and plucks him away. Spitfire has removed her shades.)
Rainbow: Gotcha!
(A gentle touchdown lets him get back on his own hooves, but the wing he nicked proves to be in slightly ugly shape when he works it around a bit. Within moments, the rest of the Ponyville and Cloudsdale teams are gathered around, joined by Twilight, and all are talking excitedly. Soarin’ has propped his goggles on his forehead.)
Fleetfoot: Awesome! (Close-up of Rainbow and Spitfire.)
Spitfire: As good as any Wonderbolt.
Fluttershy: (from o.s.) Oh… (Pan slightly to frame her coming up behind Rainbow.) …Rainbow Dash, I’m just so proud of you. You scooped Soarin’ out of the sky and brought him down to the ground, and now…now he’s okay. At least, I hope he’s okay. (turning to him) Are you okay?
(If the gloomy set of his face were not enough to tell the story, the groan and loud crackle when he holds up the bum wing drives the point home.)
Soarin’: Well, my wing hurts. (Spitfire and Fleetfoot start in surprise.) But, uh, uh, I’m sure it’ll be okay by the competition.
(The sound of an emergency vehicle’s siren cuts him off, and here comes an ambulance wagon. It has no side or rear rails, its floor is a thick padded mat, and a box at the head end is marked with a rainbow and the same cross/four-heart logo seen at the Ponyville hospital in previous episodes. Pulling it is an earth pony stallion in a light blue shirt and a dark blue cap emblazoned with the medical logo; a small first-aid kit is slung on a strap around his neck. The wagon stops in front of the group, its siren dying off, and Soarin’ climbs on to lie on his belly.)
Soarin’: (smiling weakly) You’re the best, Rainbow Dash. (He lowers his head with a groan.)
Rainbow: Aw, it was nothing. But if you feel about talking about how great I am— (Chuckle; ambulance pulls away as siren starts.) —don’t let me stop you. (Bulk rushes up to hunker over her.)
Bulk: P IS FOR RAINBOW DASH!! (Fluttershy flies up to his head level.)
Fluttershy: (whispering in his ear) Um, “Rainbow Dash” actually starts with an R.
(The big lunk chews his lower lip in a very embarrassed fashion for a moment.)
Bulk: NEVER MIND!!
Rainbow: (to Spitfire, Fleetfoot) Tough break to lose a teammate right before the tryouts.
(The two Wonderbolts trade a cocked-eyebrow smile, then put their sunglasses on. This shot, the first head-on view of them, picks out the cloud/rainbow logo on the breast of each suit and the gold Wonderbolt-logo pin on each collar.)
Fleetfoot: You know… (stepping a little closer)…you grew up in Cloudsdale.
Spitfire: (ditto) So that means you could fly with us.
(From behind the lenses, four calculating eyes bore into the two red-violet ones during a long pause.)
Rainbow: Fly? (The two throw each other a quick smile, then turn to her.)
Fleetfoot: Uh, we mean practice. You could practice with us until Soarin’s better.
Spitfire: What do you say? (Cut to just behind the pair.) Want to be our third?
(Zoom in slowly on the indecisive pegasus, putting them out of view.)
Rainbow: Uh, I don’t know. (looking to Fluttershy/Bulk; he flexes as she covers a smile) My team really needs me to be at my best in order to qualify. (facing front) Don’t want to be too worn out by the time the race comes around.
Spitfire: We put you through some pretty intense workouts at the Wonderbolt Academy, and you handled those just fine.
Rainbow: (smiling, chuckling) I did kick some major tail at the Academy. (Her face falls.) But…I don’t know how my teammates will feel about me practicing with the competition. (Fleetfoot steps in close.)
Fleetfoot: Who says they need to know? (She grabs Rainbow’s cheeks…) Think about it, Rainbow Dash. (…and turns her head to look toward the finish line.) This is your chance to fly with the winners.
(The Ponyville ace turns her eyes toward Bulk’s showboating and the butterfly that has captured Fluttershy’s focus, then back skyward. Her eyebrows lower slightly over the faintest hint of a scowl, the only outward sign of the struggle going on in her mind; after a few long seconds, she faces Spitfire and Fleetfoot again and breaks out in a smile.)
Rainbow: All right, I’ll do it! (Exit Fleetfoot.)
Spitfire: (chuckling softly; she and Rainbow follow) Wise decision, Rainbow Dash.
(Their new partner casts a worried glance back behind herself, one ear drooping. Dissolve to a line of hoops on poles being swung back and forth; some are rainbow-striped, others unmarked, and they are set up to form one long aerial tunnel. Rainbow and Fleetfoot rise into view at opposite ends of the row, Rainbow carrying a Cloudsdale baton and Fleetfoot wearing only her goggles. Eyeing the item, the multicolored-maned flyer smiles fiercely and charges in. Cut to her perspective, approaching the rings, then back to her as she threads the needle, doing a loop-the-loop along the way for good measure. By the time she emerges from the run, Fleetfoot is already flying ahead; Rainbow catches up and claps the baton onto the front hoof extended back toward her for a seamless pass.)
Fleetfoot: Awesome!
(She flies o.s. and Rainbow stops, the cheerleaders zipping up on either side.)
Cheerleaders: Whinny, ponies, whinny!
Fly on, fly on, fly on!
(On the second line, they tap their rear hooves together underneath her, then touch heads above, and wave their pompoms as confetti and streamers rain down. Zoom out to ground level as she blasts past Twilight, who has acquired a spare set of Pinkie’s gold pompoms and is eyeing them as if they were alien life forms. The winged unicorn looks up after her friend, purple eyes broadcasting her puzzlement over what, to her, is a most unusual turn of events.)
(Dissolve to Bulk, carrying a baton and fighting to gain whatever scrap of altitude he can in the sky. Rainbow flies up behind him.)
Rainbow: Come on, Bulk Biceps! (He starts to tumble forward.) You can do it!
(Having rolled 90 degrees, so that his back is facing in the direction of travel, he comes to a hoop and manages to wedge himself firmly inside. Both the hoop and its support pole creak loudly under the strain as Fluttershy flies up in front of him.)
Fluttershy: Um, I’m ready to take the horseshoe…if you want me to.
(As soon as the two hooves make contact, sandwiching the baton between them, the pole snaps upright and hurls both Bulk and Fluttershy back the way he came. Their screams quickly fade away into the distance as Rainbow shades her eyes to squint after them; a crash, and the camera cuts to the big doofus peeling himself up from a fresh hole in the base of a cliff. He glances around with sudden panic, not realizing that Fluttershy is wedged into the broad muscles of his back, and Rainbow claps a hoof to her face with an exasperated little groan.)
(Dissolve to a close-up of three Cloudsdale crew members rising and falling near ground level. One of them is Spitfire’s masseur from the end of Act One; zoom out to frame her doing wing push-ups with him on her back. The other two are standing on the backs of Rainbow and Fleetfoot as they perform the exercise; like Fleetfoot, Spitfire wears only her goggles now. The next dissolve frames Fluttershy standing in an unoccupied stretch of field, her wings extended downward to make contact with the ground. When she lifts her forelegs clear, her face betrays the amount of strain on the feathered appendages in trying to support her weight; soon they give way and she thumps spreadeagle to the grass. Pan from her to Bulk, stretched out on his belly and realizing—to his chagrin—that he has no chance of being able to do wing push-ups. This does not stop him from trying, though, and Rainbow watches from a short distance off.)
Rainbow: You, uh, keep doing your wing-ups. I’m just gonna go get some, uh, water.
(She zooms away, Twilight taking note of the abrupt departure and now looking very unsettled. From here, dissolve to a close-up of Rainbow in flight, her favorite black shades over her eyes and a Cloudsdale feedbag slung around her neck. She takes a bite from it as Spitfire and Fleetfoot pull in on either side, wearing their own bags and sunglasses. All three chow down before rolling off into a dive to one side that takes them down through the clouds.)
(Wipe to a close-up of a brown betty held aloft on Fluttershy’s hoof. She leans into view and takes a bite; in a longer shot, she, Applejack, Rainbow, and Bulk sit on a picnic blanket around a plateful of the treats. Rainbow has put away her shades and feedbag. Bulk greedily shovels all but one into his mouth, laughs stupidly around the mass of food, and swallows it down. He picks up the last one and offers it to Rainbow with a “want it?” grunt; she thinks hard about it and waves him off, rubbing her belly to indicate a full stomach. He shrugs and starts bouncing the betty from one foreleg to the other by flexing his muscles. Applejack and Fluttershy laugh at the display, and Rainbow uses this distraction to back quietly away from the scene and bug out.)
(Cut to just outside the Cloudsdale tent and zoom out slowly as the three team members zip up to stand in a line—Fleetfoot, then Rainbow, then Spitfire. All three now wear goggles and no feedbags. Crew members scurry to perform maintenance: cleaning Rainbow’s goggles, buffing her hooves to a shine, blow-drying Spitfire’s tail, taking measurements of all three. Rainbow smiles at the attention just before a sheet of light blue-green fabric is laid over the view. A pair of scissors cuts through this, and the pieces shift aside to frame the mares decked out in form-fitting suits of this color with white collar trim. The garments leave their heads, wings, and tails exposed; a white lightning bolt runs around each hoof, with lighter blue-green sparks flying backward from each. The chest/belly region is decorated with white dots, with a cloud spiral to either side of this just below the collar. Rainbow looks herself over with a very appreciative eye, and all three face proudly forward.)
(Wipe to a close-up of Bulk, seen only from the neck up. A flower is magically tucked in next to his ear, matching the one already on the other side of his head, and a few more are already worked into his mane. Around his neck is a lacy blue ruff; he laughs heartily, and the camera cuts to a longer shot of him and Fluttershy. Both pegasi are clad in loose-fitting, patterned light blue outfits trimmed in white; his is like a Greek tunic, hers a dress. Fluttershy wears a garland of flowers around her forehead and has others at her throat and hooves; Bulk has some tied into his tail and wears pink fuzzy ruffs around his hooves. He laughs as both trot in place.)
Bulk: YEAH!!
(Zoom out to frame Rainbow and Rarity watching the impromptu fashion show. The unicorn has her reading glasses on and a few lengths of cloth draped over one foreleg—she has just come off a design session to put these rigs together. Rainbow is out of her new suit and goggles.)
Rarity: (laughing, to Rainbow) Too much?
(To which the onlooker can only muster up a cringing little smile. Dissolve to her, fully kitted out and flying through a hoop as Spitfire and Fleetfoot rocket upward behind her. Waving to them, she comes in for a smooth landing and turns it into a trot that carries her behind a tree; the sound of a zipper being unfastened is heard, and she emerges from the other side without her gear. The red-violet eyes flick furtively back toward her new teammates, and the blue hooves carry her to a stream so she can scoop up some water. Close-up of her hunkered down at the bank; Twilight’s hooves step into view, and the camera tilts up to frame both of them on the start of the next line.)
Twilight: (pointedly) It’s not easy practicing with two teams, is it?
(Rainbow nearly chokes on her mouthful at these words, then spits it out and leans into Twilight’s face.)
Rainbow: You…know? Does anypony else?
Twilight: (smiling, pointing across fields) No. They’re too busy practicing to wonder why you keep disappearing.
Rainbow: Well, I’ve seen the other teams practicing, and we’re still gonna qualify. (She rises defiantly above the stream.) I can fly fast enough to make up the distance.
Twilight: It just seems like one of the teams you’re practicing with needs a little more help than the other one. (Rainbow descends toward her.)
Rainbow: But it’s so much more fun working out with the winners than…um…the…non-winners. Besides, Ponyville will still qualify.
Spitfire: (from o.s.) Rainbow Dash!
(She turns to find the two Wonderbolt mares flying leisurely across the fields toward her, in their track suits and sunglasses.)
Spitfire: You got a minute?
Rainbow: Uh, sure. (She flies over to them.)
Fleetfoot: You could really be an asset to our team, so… (Brief, knowing glance toward Spitfire.) …we want you to join the Cloudsdale team—permanently.
(The recruit sucks in a few dozen bushels of air in an ecstatic gasp and claps hooves to mouth, missing Twilight’s surprised blink coming from behind. Spitfire steps in close.)
Spitfire: It looks like Soarin’s wing won’t heal in time for the trials. (hoof over shoulders; Rainbow grins) We want you to fly with us. (Fleetfoot comes up on the other side.)
Fleetfoot: Of course, this means you won’t be able to fly for Ponyville. (smiling) But let’s face it.
(Cut to Fluttershy and Bulk, practicing a baton pass in front of the town’s blanket tent. Fluttershy has it, but tentatively pokes it toward her teammate and ends up jabbing it into his face during the next line. They have stripped off their Rarity-designed competition outfits.)
Fleetfoot: (from o.s.) Even with you on their team, their chances of qualifying for the Games are pretty slim.
Bulk: (under previous, after getting hit) Ow!
(He goes spreadeagle to the ground, then aims a pair of teary red eyes up at her and gets up so he can trot away whimpering. She flies off after him, still holding the baton; back to Rainbow and company.)
Spitfire: (smirking a bit) So, what’s it gonna be?
(Zoom in slowly on the flyer with the multi-hued mane, who now finds two pairs of lenses trained on her at very close range.)
Rainbow: Well…I… (Zoom out quickly to frame all three again.)
Spitfire: (lifting off with Fleetfoot) Take some time to think about it.
(A very concerned Twilight walks over just in time for her very excited friend to do a very tight loop around her.)
Rainbow: They want me to fly with them! (floating down on her back) It’s like a dream come true.
Twilight: If you fly for Cloudsdale, Pinkie Pie won’t have anypony to cheer for. Rarity’s uniforms will never be seen. And Applejack will have slaved over those apple brown bettys for nothing.
(Each assertion lowers her friend’s spirits a notch, to the point that Rainbow rolls over to face Twilight with a frustrated sigh.)
Rainbow: But I really want to fly with the best team. (She lifts off, slumped over, and flaps across to Twilight.) What would you do?
Twilight: (turning, walking off) I think this is a decision you have to make on your own. The race is tomorrow, so you’d better make it soon.
(The conflicted pegasus settles down onto her haunches and stares moodily at the ground, letting her head drop until her forelock almost brushes the grass. Fade to black.)
Act Three
(Opening shot: fade in to an overhead shot of the practice fields. A few contenders are flying laps; cut to Spitfire and Fleetfoot going flat out, wearing their flight suits and goggles. They rocket past a couple of crew members outside the Cloudsdale tent, setting a fan-style anemometer—the same design used in “Hurricane Fluttershy”—to spin wildly and blowing the cap and headset off one of them. A grunt and moan from the o.s. Rainbow are heard as the camera zooms out to frame a third crew member and Spitfire/Fleetfoot double back. It gets the attention of Fluttershy and Bulk in the middle of their workout—Fluttershy lifting a flower, Bulk a barbell. Cut to the blue flyer, heavily bandaged and pushing herself across the grass in a wheelchair.)
Rainbow: (wailing, hoof to forehead) Woe is me!
(She launches into a hearty groan as several ponies of all races gather around, murmuring concernedly; among them are Carrot Top, Daisy, and Minuette. Fluttershy and Bulk are her side in a blink, as are Spitfire and Fleetfoot, now in their track suits and sunglasses; the yellow pegasus gasps.)
Fluttershy: What’s happened?
Rainbow: (voice shaking, groaning, holding up a foreleg) I’ve hurt my hoof.
(Cut to Twilight, Pinkie, and Rarity, the last two of whom gasp in shock as the first fails to be convinced. Pinkie now wears only the skirt from her cheerleader outfit, has traded the bullhorn around her neck for a small bundle of party horns, and is wearing a rainbow-striped wig tied into two bunches of ringlets. In addition, the pleats in her skirt have changed from yellow to multicolored. Rarity has put away the glasses and fabric swatches she used while showing off her uniform designs. Spitfire squats down and trains her eyes on the four wrapped hooves.)
Spitfire: All of them? (She straightens up.)
Rainbow: I, uh…tripped on a…a foam hoof and landed on a…uh… (mumbling quickly under her breath, behind a hoof) …pokey stick coming out of the ground.
(The one-pony cheering section lets go with an infuriated growl through gritted teeth; now the pompoms on her front hooves are seen to be rainbow-striped instead of pink.)
Pinkie: If I get my hooves on that… (copying Rainbow’s mumble) …pokey stick coming out of the ground… (full voice) …it’ll be in big trouble!
Rainbow: (on verge of tears) There is no way I can fly now.
Fluttershy: Do you think you’ll be better by tryouts? (Rainbow wails and flops over one arm of her chair.)
Rainbow: (hooves to face) I’ll be lucky if I ever fly again.
(Pink and white faces take on a gloomy cast, but the light violet one is really not buying it. Close-up of the patient.)
Rainbow: (sighing) I just need a little rest. (Fluttershy reaches into view.)
Fluttershy: (from o.s., pulling her up) Oh… (Cut to frame both; she settles Rainbow back in the chair.) …don’t worry, Rainbow Dash. We’ll take care of you, or…at least somepony will, like… (Zoom in slowly on the blue face; Fluttershy starts to push her along.) …a medic, or…or a doctor, or a nurse.
(That puts a scare into Rainbow, suggesting that she has been playing up her injuries. Dissolve to a close-up of a beeping heart monitor; Twilight steps up to inspect the signal, which appears to be quite normal, and turns to look off to the side. A longer shot of the area frames it as a hospital room, in whose bed Rainbow is laid out with all four limbs in slings running up to the ceiling. All of her friends save Fluttershy are in her with her; Pinkie is turned away from the bed, sitting glumly on her haunches, and Rarity is wearing her saddlebags. A closed curtain cuts off the rear half of the room.)
Twilight: (dryly) So, the medic pony isn’t sure what’s wrong with you.
Rainbow: (hamming it up) Everything! Absolutely everything! (Applejack steps up, a brown betty balanced on one hoof…)
Applejack: This’ll cure everythin’ that ails you.
(…and stuffs it whole into Rainbow’s mouth. The pegasus has no choice but to chew it over.)
Rainbow: (mouth full) Thank you. I couldn’t have done that on my own.
(Close-up of Twilight as she uncorks a weary sigh, then pan to Rarity.)
Rarity: (magically opening bag, floating out a sparkly length of cloth) Nothing says “get better” like a little medical pizzazz. Silk slings and a glitter bandage?
Rainbow: (mouth empty) That might help.
(The piece is looped around her foreleg and tied in a bow, to which she smiles gratefully. Next comes the sound of an opening door; cut to Fluttershy walking in, with Bulk ducking to miss the top of the frame behind her.)
Fluttershy: And how is our patient doing?
(The huge stallion gets his hindquarters stuck, pulls for a moment, and comes loose to tumble into the room. He stands up with a big grin and sheepish little neigh.)
Rainbow: (sighing) I’ve been better. (Close-up of Fluttershy and Bulk.)
Fluttershy: We just wanted to let you know that we’re so sorry you’re hurt, but you shouldn’t worry a bit about not being able to be in the tryouts. (Bulk nods on the end of this.) We’ll be all right. (Both glance toward the door.) We even have a replacement.
(Pan quickly back to the door, where said replacement steps in—it is Derpy Hooves, who produces a Ponyville pennant and waves it with a big smile. The revelation throws a fair-sized monkey wrench into Rainbow’s mental machinery.)
Fluttershy: We’re so, so sorry that you can’t compete. We all know how much you love to fly, and we promise…
Bulk: CROSS OUR HEARTS!! (The yell startles Derpy into dropping her pennant.)
Fluttershy: …that if we qualify and make it to the Equestria Games and all win gold medals… (Cut to Rainbow and zoom in slowly; she continues o.s.) …you can have ours, because we know how much a gold medal means to you.
Rainbow: (floored) Thanks.
(The sound of Twilight’s clearing throat cuts in sharply; cut to frame the entire room.)
Twilight: I think Rainbow Dash might need to rest some more.
(The other visitors head for the door, calling back assorted words of comfort and encouragement. After they have gone, Twilight approaches Rainbow’s bedside.)
Twilight: (quietly) You know, choosing not to choose isn’t really a decision.
(Out she goes; a moment later, the curtain is reeled most of the way back by the occupant of the bed in the room’s other half. Here is Soarin’, sitting up in bed with his bum wing tightly wrapped.)
Soarin’: You sure have nice friends. (He pushes the curtain the rest of the way and his face falls.) Nopony’s been by to visit me. (forcing a smile) Uh, too busy practicing, I guess.
Rainbow: Well, hopefully your wing will be better soon.
Soarin’: Oh, it’s fine. (flapping it a bit) I-I’m just keeping it warm in case my team wants me back.
Rainbow: What do you mean, “wants you back”? Spitfire and Fleetfoot told me that you were still too injured to fly.
Soarin’: (surprised) And they told me that they were worried I wouldn’t be one hundred percent by the tryouts, so they were going with somepony else.
Rainbow: (really shocked) That somepony else was me! (eyeing her bandages) Until, uh, well…until I got hurt, that is.
Soarin’: So… (He lies down with a sigh.) …I guess we’re all outta luck. Cloudsdale won’t qualify without three flyers, and Ponyville won’t qualify without you. (He pulls up his blanket and turns away.) Too bad.
(Cut to Rainbow and pan slowly toward her nightstand as she dispiritedly turns this conversation over in her mind. A shaft of sunlight hits the pitcher of water set out here, spreading out into a spectrum due to refraction. This stretches slowly across the floor and touches Derpy’s dropped pennant, and the vivid colors briefly shine forth from Rainbow’s irises in extreme close-up—just as they did from Rarity’s in “Rarity Takes Manehattan.” One last flash radiates out from her face as she puts on a determined smile and lifts off out of her bed.)
(She pulls the blanket along with her; behind its trailing edge, the view wipes to an overhead shot of the rest of the Ponyville contingent seated dejectedly near their tent. Applejack’s cart stands behind her, and one of Rarity’s outfits lies on the grass.)
Twilight: Even with Rainbow Dash’s replacement— (Close-up of her, Applejack, and Rarity.) —I don’t think we’re gonna qualify. (addressing herself o.s.) No offense.
(Pan across the clearing to Fluttershy, Bulk, and Derpy; the cross-eyed pegasus plays it off with a casual smile and shrug. Pinkie, meanwhile, yanks off her wig with an angry grunt and gestures toward a huge pile of pompoms in all manner of vivid colors; she does not have any on her hooves.)
Pinkie: What am I gonna do with all these now?!? (Cut to Applejack/Rarity; the former has a plate of brown bettys before her.)
Applejack: Uh, what were you gonna do with them before?
(Rarity sighs heavily and floats her design and a couple of flowers up over Twilight’s head.)
Rarity: Maybe my Equestria Games uniforms will still be in style next year. (She lets the lot drop over the violet pony.) I mean, I am pretty fashion-forward.
(Twilight shucks off the raiment as Pinkie hunches miserably down on the grass—and then Rainbow steps into view just in front of the camera. The purple eyes are the first to register her arrival.)
Twilight: Is that Rainbow Dash…
(The others catch on; cut to the sky-blue invalid, treading stolidly across the field without any hint of a limp or hitch in her gait. Also gone is the glitter bandage Rarity put on her foreleg.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) …walking?
(Zoom out slightly as Soarin’ tops the rise a few steps behind her, then cut to Spitfire and Fleetfoot standing under one of the Cloudsdale tents. The captain is drinking a bottle of water, but lets it drop when her jaw falls open in undiluted surprise, and both pairs of eyes stare over the tops of their sunglasses. Zoom out to put Rainbow in the fore.)
Fleetfoot: (puzzled) Does this mean you’re feeling better?
(Cut to the two discharged patients; now Soarin’ has both of his wings stretched out, showing that his injured wing is unwrapped and in working order.)
Rainbow: I feel great because…
(Close-of one wing being spread to throw off its bandages, then cut back to her on the start of the next line.)
Rainbow: …I was never hurt in the first place.
(She pulls off more of the gauze. The Wonderbolts and crew gasp, as does the reconstituted Ponyville team—with a shrill scream from Bulk mixed in for good measure. By the time the camera cuts back to Rainbow, she has discarded all of her bandages and turned her eyes toward the ground.)
Rainbow: I faked my injuries so that I wouldn’t have to choose between flying for Ponyville or Cloudsdale. I wanted to fly with you both, and the decision was too hard.
Fluttershy: (crossing to her) Oh, Rainbow Dash, you don’t have to choose us. I know you love to win— (Close-up of Rainbow; she continues o.s.) —and you should go with the team that surely will.
(The conflicted athlete smiles warmly on the end of this.)
Rainbow: I know now who I should have been loyal to.
Spitfire: Good choice. (nudging Fleetfoot) Always stick with the winners. (Rainbow points to…)
Rainbow: Ponyville.
(The two pros are taken aback by her decision, but Rainbow pays them no mind and walks over to her friends.)
Rainbow: Because it’s not just where I live, but it’s where my friends are. (Slow pan across the group.) The ponies who really care about me—whether I can help them win a race or not.
(The camera movement puts her o.s. as she finishes, and she gets a round of laughter and cheers afterward. Soarin’ has even joined in on the merriment.)
Spitfire: Are you sure that’s the right decision? (An irate Rainbow leans into her face.)
Rainbow: You lied to me about Soarin’s wing— (gesturing to him) —just so you could get a better flyer! (He crosses his forelegs angrily.) You may be a winning team, but you’re still not the kind of team I want to be a part of.
(Now the two ace flyers are struck dumb for a moment; only after Spitfire removes her shades can she come up with a response.)
Spitfire: Huh. Rainbow Dash, you are something.
(A smile passes between her and Fleetfoot.)
Spitfire: Saw it at the Academy, seeing it again here. We could learn a lot from a competitor like you.
Fleetfoot: Think we already have. (Spitfire steps out past her and addresses herself o.s.)
Spitfire: Ready to fly? (Cut to Soarin’; his eyes pop.)
Soarin’: Really?
Spitfire: Never should’ve lied and tried to replace you to begin with. (Overhead view of the area.)
Soarin’: (laughing, taking off) Go, Cloudsdale!
(The other two members of the reunited team zoom up after him; cut to Rainbow.)
Rainbow: Come on, Ponyville relay team! (She hovers above the group.) We’ve got a race to get ready for!
(Off she goes like a rocket, Fluttershy following and Bulk managing to get himself aloft with rather less effort than before.)
Bulk: YEAH!!
(He sets off after the other two. Wipe to the midair finish line; Spitfire and Soarin’, in flight suits and goggles, stand on its rainbow border across from a sweater/shirt/tie-clad unicorn stallion minding a large clock. Her goggles are on her eyes, his on his forehead. Something bursts upward through the cloud center—it can only be Fleetfoot—and the timekeeper hits a button on the clock’s housing to stop it. A close-up shows that it is designed somewhat like a stopwatch, with the last stretch before the 12:00 position marked in red. The ticking hand has stopped well short of this; the timekeeper nods, and Fleetfoot lands on the rainbow to trade a high five with Spitfire.)
Soarin’: (calling down toward ground) Come on, Ponyville! (Tilt down.) You can do it!
(Stop on a long overhead shot of the practice fields, with Bulk visible as a large white speck moving slowly through the air. In close-up, he carries the baton toward a pole-mounted hoop, heaves himself backward, and goes through it hind legs first—without getting stuck. He faces front again once he is in the clear; cut to the running clock, then back to him. Fluttershy is waiting at a checkpoint just ahead; when he reaches her and passes the baton, she bobbles but does not drop it. As she starts her leg of the race, Bulk lets off an exhausted breath and hits the ground like five tons of bricks.)
(Cut to a knot of spectators, with Applejack, Pinkie, and Rarity out front. Pinkie has donned her rainbow wig, and Twilight is quick to get into the act as well. Her wig is similarly varicolored, but straight with prominent bangs, and she has donned a full cheerleader outfit similar to Pinkie’s original, but with the rainbow-colored pleats. In addition, she waves multi-hued pompoms on her front hooves and has a bundle of small horns around her neck to match Pinkie’s.)
Twilight: Go, Fluttershy! (Cut to Fluttershy clearing a couple of hoops; she continues o.s.) Woo-hoo!
(Topside: the clock ticks on, now almost down to the 6:00 position. The yellow pegasus flaps for all she is worth, extending the baton as far as her foreleg will reach, and slams it onto the hoof of the waiting Rainbow. The latter wastes no time in going from zero to ridiculous speed, and the two Cloudsdale cheerleaders go into a bit of pompom/tail-waving.)
Cheerleaders: Qualify, Ponyville! Qualify, Ponyville!
Pinkie: (bounding up onto their front hooves) Woo-hoo! Go, Rainbow Dash!
(On this line, they lift her into the air and she throws a load of confetti and streamers, waving her rainbow-colored pompoms. The object of said encouragement is busy flying through an ascending zigzag run of floating hoops. The clock ticks on toward the red zone…she clears one last hoop…the hand is even closer now…and down below, Applejack nervously chomps into a bit of her own cooking as the crowd stares upward, on the edge of its collective seat.)
(Now Rainbow hurtles upward like a runaway freight train as the clock ticks past the final hash mark before the red zone. Her face all supreme confidence, she pushes herself into one last kick of speed and punches through the cloud at the finish line. The timekeeper punches the button to stop the clock—exactly at the edge of the red, but not beyond.)
Timekeeper: Ponyville qualifies!
(Wild cheers drift up from below as Fluttershy and Bulk fly over to lay a monster hug on Rainbow. Those cheers are coming from both the Ponyville and Cloudsdale sides, as well as every single other onlooker in the place. None of the three can believe their eyes or ears at their success.)
(Dissolve to a long shot of the rainbow waterfall coming down the mountainside toward the fields, and tilt down to the sound of sustained cheering. Five teams stand on a line of separate platforms facing the crowd; the three Wonderbolts are at far right with goggles firmly in place, the griffon squad one position to the left, the Ponyville trio at far left. The timekeeper makes his way down the line, levitating a stack of medals behind himself and floating them to rest around the necks of these fifteen competitors.)
[Continuity error: This scene contradicts Rainbow’s Act One statement that only the four fastest times would qualify.]
(Zoom in slowly, then cut to a close-up of the last platform as he gives Rainbow and company their medals. These consist of a white disc wrapped with a rainbow ribbon and set with a pair of gold wings, hung from a red cord. One of the Wonderbolts reaches into view and taps Rainbow on the shoulder; cut to Spitfire standing nearby. The gold pin from the collar of her track suit is now occupying the same position on her flight suit, but she picks it loose with her teeth. Extreme close-up of Rainbow’s medal as she affixes the pin to it, then zoom out to frame both. Gratitude shines from the red-violet eyes, and even though Spitfire’s are hidden behind her goggles, the level of respect she has for the pegasus facing her is impossible to miss. Spitfire nods to her and lifts off, followed by Soarin’ and Fleetfoot; Rainbow glances at Fluttershy, who passes the look to Bulk.)
Bulk: YEAH!!
Twilight, Applejack, Pinkie, Rarity: YEAH!! (All but Pinkie head across to the team.)
Pinkie: Woo-hoo!
(Twilight puts a foreleg around Rainbow’s shoulders and gives her a proud grin, getting a warm smile in return. Cut to just behind the team’s heads; the timekeeper has set up an old-style camera with “bellows” lens, ready to take their picture.)
Twilight: Equestria Games…
(Head-on shot of the platform, now crowded with Bulk and all mares except Pinkie.)
Twilight: …here we come!
(The missing pink one leaps into view and latches onto the side of Bulk’s head, and Derpy pops up behind him to wave her Ponyville pennant. A camera flash freezes the tableau.)
Rainbow: (voice over; dictating; excited little squeak) “I can’t deny it.”
(Zoom out slowly to show that the image is now a photo mounted on a page. Rainbow is writing below it—an entry in the group’s shared journal—and wearing her medal. The gold pin has been moved onto its cord.)
Rainbow: (voice over) “I love to win! But if I ever gotta choose between winning and being loyal to my friends…”
(Camera shift: the book rests on a stand in the library’s reading room. The front door stands open behind Rainbow.)
Rainbow: (voice over) “…I’m always gonna choose my friends.”
(Pinkie gallops pat outside, with Twilight in playful pursuit; both are out of their cheerleader outfits.)
Rainbow: (voice over) “ ’Cause as much as I love winning…”
(She stops writing and acknowledges Pinkie’s return; the pink mare sprints off, keeping ahead of Twilight.)
Rainbow: (voice over) “…I love them waaaaay more.”
(She spits her pencil aside, removes her medal, and hangs it on the corner of the stand as Rarity gallops past to get in on the fun. A few flaps take her out the door after the three, and the camera zooms in to a close-up of the pin. A gleam of rainbow-hued light plays briefly across its surface, just as it did on Rarity’s new spool of thread at the end of “Rarity Takes Manehattan,” and the view snaps to black.)
THREE’S A CROWD
Written by Meghan McCarthy, Ed Valentine
Produced by Sarah Wall, Devon Cody
Story editing by Meghan McCarthy
Supervising direction by Jayson Thiessen
Co-directed by Jim Miller
Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)
Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to an extreme close-up of a mailbox. Spike reaches into view, opens it, and extracts a stack of letters; cut to a long shot of him and the box. Both stand outside the library, and he walks in through the open front door and closes it behind himself. It is daytime. Inside, he stops on the mat.)
Spike: Mail’s here!
(The glow of Twilight Sparkle’s magic envelops the bundle of correspondence and yanks it out of his grip with enough force to topple him onto the floor. Cut to her, standing by the center table in the reading room and nervously sorting through it all.)
Twilight: Please be a yes, please be a yes, please be a yes…
(She stops on one envelope closed with a wax seal and magically breaks it open so she can float out the letter within. Its few lines get a good close scrutiny that leads into an ecstatic grin.)
Twilight: Yes! (She bounds across to Spike.) She can make it, she can make it!
(On the end of this, she floats him up off the floor and starts flying in circles near the door, levitating him along the same path.)
Spike: (slowly raising his voice) Going out on a limb here, but I’m guessing that Princess Cadence said she can come this weekend! (Both settle down; he is a bit dizzy.)
Twilight: I’m finally gonna get to spend some quality time with my sister-in-law!
(The little guy produces a paper bag and proceeds to hyperventilate into it; cut to Twilight.)
Twilight: (throwing forelegs open) This is the best news ever!
(A knock at the o.s. door snaps her out of her reverie; back to it. A creak of the hinges exposes a narrow sliver of sky and village, and Fluttershy barely eases her head through.)
Fluttershy: Um…so sorry for barging in like this.
(Back to a surprised Twilight and Spike, the latter having disposed of his bag. The door’s closing is heard.)
Fluttershy: (giddily, crossing to them/trotting in place) But I’m so excited, I just couldn’t wait to tell somepony!
(A nip at the area behind her shoulders brings up a paper in her teeth; Twilight floats this away.)
Fluttershy: The Equestrian Society for the Preservation of Rare Creatures has given me permission to observe the rarest, tiniest, most adorable magical creatures in all of Equestria!
(Cut to the winged unicorn, studying the sheet, on the end of this, then back to Fluttershy after her o.s. gasp.)
Fluttershy: (grinning hugely) The Breezies! (Now Spike is reading it over.)
Twilight: Wow, Fluttershy! That’s fantastic!
Fluttershy: (hovering briefly) Oh, it’s not just fantastic. It might just be the best news ever!
(Like Twilight, she ends up on two legs by the time she finishes with this assertion, but only to rear up happily. The door gets into the act by being bashed down off its hinges from outside, crushing Spike to the floor; now Pinkie Pie rockets in to plow Fluttershy out of view. Twilight winces at the sound of their impact against the far wall; cut to the pair. The pink one is standing up in front of the yellow, who has wound up sitting on her belly but stands as Twilight comes over on the next line.)
Pinkie: I just got the most incredible mail anypony’s ever received in all of recorded pony postal history!
(She works her way up to her hind legs as she speaks, and on the end of the line, the camera cuts to a close-up of Twilight and Fluttershy. Surprise registers on both faces, and Pinkie uses her tail to show them the reason—a sheet depicting some broken-down outdoor equipment: table, chair, stools, sun umbrella. A few coins are shown above the mess. Zoom in to a close-up as she describes it.)
Pinkie: It’s a flyer about a one-day sale on used patio furniture! (She squeals and drops onto her back, tossing the ad away.) Could this day get any better? Woo-hoo!
(The three spectators trade a round of smiles, Twilight adding a slightly resigned eye roll to hers, and the view fades to black.)
OPENING THEME
Act One
(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of the Ponyville train station and zoom in slowly to the sound of an approaching train. A travel-equipped Fluttershy and her five friends are waiting on/around the platform, but are soon lost to sight when the train pulls in with a screen-filling hiss of steam. When it clears, the view has shifted to a close-up of Fluttershy and Rarity, this shot picks out the pegasus’ bush hat, pink neckerchief, and saddlebags.)
Rarity: (magically opening one, floating a small roll of fabric into it) Here’s a wrap in case it gets cold.
(Close the flap; next Applejack sets down a basket of apples whose handle is in her teeth.)
Applejack: And I packed you a basket of nice fresh apples in case you get hungry.
Twilight: Have a great time.
Fluttershy: Oh, I will. (Twilight magically straightens her hat.) And I hope you have fun with Cadence.
(The train whistle blows; now carrying the basket, she follows other passengers past the conductor and onto the train.)
Conductor: All aboard!
(After they are all in, he checks his pocket watch and boards as well. The door shuts and the train rolls away, with Fluttershy waving from the platform at the rear end of the caboose and Pinkie smiling after her.)
Fluttershy: Goodbye! Goodbye, everypony!
Pinkie: (suddenly worried) FLUTTERSHY!! (She gallops after the train.) I’LL NEVER FORGET YOOOOOUUUUU!!
(The pink hooves stop only after the train is well ahead of her, and the blue eyes stare after it with unmistakable despair—which swiftly evaporates as a red balloon drifts past in the breeze.)
Pinkie: Ooh, something floaty!
(She sings to herself a bit as she trots happily after it, back toward the station.)
Twilight: (sighing) I’m a bit nervous about Cadence’s visit.
Applejack: What could you be nervous about, Twilight? Cadence just loves you to pieces.
Twilight: I know, but I really want her visit to go without a hitch. (Pinkie rejoins the group, carrying the balloon but absently letting it float away.)
Pinkie: Well, why wouldn’t it? (Realizing, she dejectedly watches it go.)
Twilight: Well, the last few times we’ve seen each other haven’t exactly been worry-free.
Rarity: The fate of Equestria has hung in the balance during most of your visits with her.
Twilight: Exactly! Cadence and I haven’t really had a chance to just enjoy being friends again— (smiling) —which is why it is so important that this visit be about the two of us having some real quality time together.
Applejack: I’m guessin’ you’ve got a plan that’ll keep it that way.
Twilight: The timing couldn’t be more perfect. For one day only, right here in Ponyville…
(Cut to a close-up of a poster hanging on the wall behind her. Against a night-sky backdrop is a profile of a white stallion’s head. The lines under his eyes and his long white mane and beard speak to his advanced age, and the beard is long enough to curl around his head in a complete circle. He wears a tall peaked wizard’s hat decorated with a crescent moon and stars, and small bells hang from the brim—it can only be Starswirl the Bearded, the great unicorn mage whose name has come up in passing. Light rays shine from the circle of beard, stars shine prominently above it, and the top and bottom areas of the poster both display gold ribbons marked with a moon and star. A row of additional stars goes across the very bottom edge.)
Twilight: (from o.s., pointing at poster) …the Starswirl the Bearded Traveling Museum! (Back to her; an additional bell tops the hat’s peak.) Cadence and I can spend the whole day looking at Starswirl the Bearded artifacts!
Rarity: Sounds like a perfect drama-free way to spend a day with Cadence.
Twilight: Not counting the drama surrounding which of the bells from his cloak they’ve chosen to put on display. (aside) Spoiler alert… (giddily, pointing to one particular bell on the brim) …it’s this one.
(Her excitement vanishes at the sound of retching from o.s.; cut to Rainbow Dash, who is miming the act of barfing her chow and getting a nasty look from Rarity.)
Rainbow: Uh… (Chuckle.) …sorry. Something in my throat. Like a big ball of…lame?!?
Rarity: I think it sounds delightful.
Applejack: Yep. Definitely sounds like you two will have some real quality time together.
Twilight: Exactly! Just quiet time.
(A whistle sounds off in the distance at considerable volume. She looks eagerly along the tracks, and the camera cuts to the speeding train to which it is attached. Unlike the one that took Fluttershy away, this one has cars made entirely of crystal in various hues—including the smokestack. The cowcatcher on the locomotive is built of jagged facets of this material, and purple flags bearing the snowflake emblem of the Crystal Empire stream beneath the plume of bright pink smoke issuing from the stack. When the brakes are applied, the resulting screech is enough to make all five mares cringe and clap hooves to ears.)
(The train comes to a quick stop at the platform, and trumpets hung with banners that show Princess Cadence’s cutie mark are raised to blow a fanfare before one door slides open. Out come two guard stallions, who take up positions on either side; one is a crystal pegasus, while the other is Flash Sentry, the yellow-tan pegasus whose pony and human forms both appeared in Equestria Girls. A red carpet is rolled out between them, and the darkness of the train car’s interior becomes brightly lit as a smiling Cadence steps out of it. Beaming, Twilight moves closer, but stops short when her sister-in-law bows to her.)
Cadence: Your Highness. (Twilight nervously glances to her friends, then copies the bow.)
Twilight: Your Highness.
(The other four mares do likewise; all hold the position for a second or two before Cadence straightens up with a gentle laugh.)
Cadence: I’m teasing, Twilight. We’re sisters-in-law. We don’t have to be so formal.
(At her nod, Flash and the other guard re-enter the car, whose interior lights have gone out again. The red carpet rolls up behind them, the door closes, and the train quickly pulls away. All six have come up out of their bow, and Twilight and Cadence walk along the platform.)
Cadence: Knowing you, you’ve made some plans.
Twilight: Boy, have I! (A thought strikes her.) Hang on just one second. (She doubles back to address the others.) You guys…
Rarity: Now, now, don’t you worry about a thing. We will make sure that nothing, but nothing, interferes with your visit.
Applejack: Go on, have a hootenanny with your kinfolk.
Twilight: (hugging Rarity) You really are the best friends a pony could ever have. (She backs away and calls over her shoulder.) Coming, Cadence!
(The four violet hooves pound along the planks, then settle into a leisurely walk as the two Princesses set off across the grassland bordering the tracks. Pinkie watches them go with a contented little sigh, then turns away from the scene.)
Pinkie: Two sisters-in-law bonding.
(She comes over all business as a blurry little speck appears in the distant sky and starts to zero in fast.)
Pinkie: Well, I for one am gonna make sure that nothing spoils their day.
(Only now does she take notice of the incoming projectile, which is now close enough to be in focus as something blue whirling at insanely high RPM’s.)
Applejack: Who [sic] is that thing?
Rarity: Whatever it is, DUUUUCK!! (She and Applejack do so; Rainbow zips away.)
Pinkie: Rarity, that doesn’t look anything like a duck!
(A white hoof loops around her neck and yanks her down just before the blue-tinted whatever-it-is sings through the air where she had been standing. It veers crazily away and crashes hard o.s.; cut to an overhead shot of the platform’s end as the four come down from it. The camera points down at them from the top of a tree.)
Rainbow: What is that?
(Ground level. A few leaves flutter down from the branches, along with a couple of loud sniffles and an unctuous, familiar male voice that sounds very under the weather.)
Discord: (from inside tree) Oh, not a what, but a who, dear.
Rainbow: (very uneasily) Oh, no. That sounds like…
(One loud sneeze consumes all the leaves in a great burst of blue flames and exposes the draconequus draped among the limbs. His entire body has gone various shades of blue, except for his eyes and brows/beard/tail tuft; zoom in to a close-up as he sniffles and moans a bit.)
Applejack, Pinkie, Rainbow, Rarity: DISCORD!!
(Snap to black.)
Act Two
(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of the station and zoom in slowly on the very strange tableau that has established itself just off the platform. Discord is on the wrong end of four very hacked-off glares.)
Applejack: What in tarnation are you doin’ here? And why the jumpin’ junebugs are you blue?
Rarity: More like a shade of cerulean, to be precise. (Rainbow flies up to Discord.)
Rainbow: Whatever color you are is the color of trouble!
Discord: Oh, Rainbow Dash, I’ve changed. (slithering down, coiling up at base of tree) Surely you remember? I was reformed by lovely little… (Windup for a sneeze; Rarity bails out, leaving Applejack alone.) …Fluttershy!
(Here it comes; the recoil hurls him backward and causes a house to float away.)
Applejack: What are you, sick or somethin’? (Rarity returns, hoof to mouth; Discord stands.)
Discord: (chuckling contemptuously) Well, of course I’m sick! The blue skin? These sneezes? Could somebody find me a fainting couch?
(Attention turns to Rarity, who looks nervously from one pony to the next. Long pause.)
Rarity: What?
(Now Pinkie bulldozes a stack of luggage toward the tree with her head.)
Discord: (floating down to lounge on it) Oh, charming. Thank you. I can’t stop sneezing and wheezing. In short… (piteously) …I need help.
(He gives them the saddest little pout he can drum up, but Rainbow is not buying any of it.)
Rainbow: If you’re so “sick,” why have you come here instead of, you know, staying home in bed and getting over your weird illness?
(The afflicted trickster lets go with another sneeze and blows his nose loudly into a handkerchief, which promptly flies away as if it were a bird.)
Discord: Because this condition has left me helpless. Simply helpless.
(He flops against the luggage; cut to Applejack, cocking a very skeptical eyebrow, then back to him. An ice bag now rests on his head, and he has pulled a blanket up over himself.)
Discord: Why, I can barely lift a spoon.
(The utensil in question materializes in his lion paw on the end of this; it droops in his grip, and he tumbles to the ground as if its weight has dragged him down. All four ponies are giving him hairy eyeballs in various tints; when he gets up, the blanket and ice bag are gone.)
Discord: I came to find the one pony who truly understands me and could nurse me back to health. (looking around) Where is that dear sweet Fluttershy? (He picks Pinkie up and looks underneath her.) I need attention! (Put her down; uproot the tree.) I need some care! (Put it back.) I need—
(Rainbow stops him cold by zipping over to let her eyes bore into his.)
Rainbow: You need to chill. (She backs off.) Fluttershy’s out.
Discord: Oh, of course. Her trip, to see the Breezies. Ah, yes, well, I had forgotten that that was today. (Applejack and Rarity are quite put out at this.)
Applejack: How do you know about her trip?
Discord: (opening a suitcase, rummaging) Well, she told me about it in her last letter.
(His search yields a sheet, which he holds up for Pinkie to look over through narrowed eyes. They pop open in surprise as he pulls it away after a moment.)
Pinkie: Do you and Fluttershy write each other letters?
Discord: Well, of course we do. We’re friends.
(In a flash, he has outfitted himself in a white hospital johnny and is walking toward them, wheeling along an IV pole whose bag is hooked to a line running into his arm.)
Discord: It’s just such a shame— (turning to present the johnny’s open back; they goggle/shield their eyes) —that today of all days is when I really need her.
(He turns back to face them and instantly cheers up.)
Discord: Oh, well. I know what to do.
Rainbow: Good thinking. (pushing him o.s. toward station) Head on home, put your feet up, I’m sure eventually you’ll have the strength to make yourself soup or something.
(Cut to the platform on the second half of this. He has shed the hospital getup, and she pushes a suitcase into his forelimbs and plunks a hat on his head as she finishes. Pan to follow her flight back toward her friends, putting the unwelcome guest o.s.—and then framing him right back at the tree, without the luggage and headwear. Her eyes bug out upon realizing that he is directly in her way.)
Discord: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. I mean while she’s gone, you ponies can take care of me. (He slithers up between Applejack and Rarity.) Isn’t that what friends are for? Taking care of each other?
(Throwing a forelimb around each pair of shoulders, he gathers then in for a hug—then instantly sprouts another pair to reel in Pinkie and Rainbow with a chuckle.)
Discord: Let the healing begin. (Long, uncomfortable pause.)
Rainbow: Not it!
(Off she goes, cutting a zigzag path over the outskirts of Ponyville as she flees the scene. Discord stands up to gaze after her, having let go of the others and vanished his two extra limbs. None of the others are in view at this point.)
Discord: (offended) Well, that’s some way to treat a suffering friend.
(He sneezes toward a lamppost, which grows legs and stands up. Tipping the top of its housing like a hat, it walks away.)
Pinkie: (from o.s.) Don’t you worry, Discord. (Cut to frame him and the remaining three mares; she circles around him.) I’ll give you cuddles and read stories and tell you all about me! (Hug.) I was born on a Tuesday.
(To escape the embrace, the joker splits his body at the height of her gripping forelegs; the lower section walks away, and the upper floats clear to reattach itself.)
Discord: (chuckling) Oh, you’re so sweet to offer.
(Picking her up, he uses the loop of her forelegs to hang her up in the tree.)
Discord: But Rarity and Applejack already volunteered to be my own personal nursemaids. (Chuckle.)
(Cut to these two on the second half of this line; their faces come over with total disbelief.)
Applejack, Rarity: We did?!? (Back to him.)
Discord: I so hope you don’t mind, Pinkie Pie.
(The snubbed pink pony gets herself down from the branch.)
Pinkie: (indignantly) Well, as a matter of fact, I most certainly—
(A red balloon, just like the one she chased along the tracks in Act One, is held out in Discord’s eagle-claw forelimb and released. She instantly perks up.)
Pinkie: Heeeey! (hopping after it) Who keeps throwing away these perfectly good balloons? (Close-up of Applejack and Rarity.)
Applejack: (softly, to Rarity) That joker’s up to somethin’, and whatever it is, we’re gonna keep it as far away from Twilight and Princess Cadence as possible.
(They look off to one side; cut to Discord, lying in a hospital bed next to the tracks. His hind legs and tail hang out over the footboard, he is back in a johnny, and a heart monitor is hooked up and beeping steadily.)
Rarity: (softly, to Applejack) You’re right. We promised we wouldn’t let anything ruin their visit—although I do so wish that “anything” had turned out to be something else!
(A glimmer of magic, and the tree trunk behind them has gone deep blue. Zoom out to reveal that the chaos master has taken its place, having shucked out of the johnny and bent his head down to address them.)
Discord: (congested) Did I hear you two talking… (Sniffle.) …about Princess Cadence’s visit with Princess Twilight?
Applejack: (warily) Maybe. (He stands up to full height.)
Discord: Fluttershy had mentioned that those two were getting together today. (smiling slyly) Mmm…how wonderful for them both. It is so rare that those two get to see one another. I don’t know about you, but I sometimes wonder how close they could actually be. (Cut to Applejack and Rarity; they trade a sour look as he continues o.s.) All those years apart before being reunited?
Applejack: They’re plenty close. (Back to him.)
Discord: And if they’re not, this rare opportunity to focus on their friendship will certainly bring them closer. Unless…
Rarity: Don’t even think about it! They mustn’t be disturbed.
Discord: Disturb them? Why, I wouldn’t dream of it. (leaning down, squashing their faces together) Not when I have two such dear friends of my own— (He lifts them up, still pressed cheek to cheek…) —who have already offered to take care of me— (…and drops them.) —and at such peril.
(The farmer and the designer have wound up sprawled out in the dirt; he hunkers down to them.)
Discord: This flu of mine is highly…
(Here comes the windup, then the sneeze, sending a shower of droplets over both of them.)
Discord: …contagious.
(To the point that their coats quickly turn blue, starting from the hind legs and working forward; Applejack ends up a little darker than Rarity. They let off a sneeze in stereo, hard enough to launch themselves backwards and crash into something o.s. Discord straightens up.)
Discord: (hamming it up) Oh, no! I’ve gotten you both sick. Whomever shall I turn to now in my time of need?
(Zoom in slowly to a close-up of his face as he utters a sneaky little chuckle and lets his forelimb digits tap together. From here, dissolve to a close-up of a banner with the same design as the Starswirl poster at the train station; zoom out during the next line.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) A whole day to celebrate Starswirl the Bearded!
(As she finishes, the camera movement brings her and Cadence into view. The banner is strung over the town square, which is now filled with exhibit and vendor stalls. One of them is topped by a huge rendition of the venerable unicorn’s hat, and ponies all over the place are decked out in variations of his beard and belled hat/cloak outfit. Twilight, of course, has gone so far as to don the Nightmare Night costume she made for herself in “Luna Eclipsed,” with the only change being the holes cut in the cloak to make room for her wings. Cadence is the one equine not wearing any form of Starswirl paraphernalia.)
Twilight: What could be better?
Cadence: (laughing a bit) Absolutely nothing.
(They stop short, and she pulls in a little gasp and hurries over to a display of candle stubs in holders. One of them, contained in a transparent box, sits prominently up front.)
Cadence: Is that the candlestick he used to light the way when he was exploring the caverns of Maretania? (Twilight joins her on the end of this.)
Twilight: It sure is.
Cadence: Oh, I can’t believe I’m getting to see it in real life!
(The mutual excitement fades away when the item begins to rattle madly within its box under her words. It whirls in place, becoming a blur of brass and wax, and resolves into a miniature Discord who aims the big sad soulful red eyes up at the pair. Two simultaneous cries of fear are followed by a hearty sneeze that shakes the box on its counter. The sides briefly bulge outward under the burst of blue sludge that fills the container; three hats on a nearby table float clear of it and zoom away under their own power. The front of the box falls open, and the gunk oozes out onto the ground; Discord is no longer within, but the stuff quickly forms into his body—which is short one head—as the wayward hats chase a couple of ponies through the square. His forelimbs plunge into the dirt at his feet, yank up the missing cranium, and plop it into place at the end of his neck.)
Twilight: (very irritated) Discord! What are you doing here? (He leans down to her.)
Discord: Oh, dear, dear Princesses! (running a hand down his face) I’m sorry to say that I’m sick.
(As he goes into a rather nasty coughing fit, the pink visitor averts her face and shifts her mane to serve as a barrier until it passes.)
Discord: Blue flu. (He backs off.)
Cadence: (puzzled) Blue flu?
Discord: Ah, I fear I’ve already given it to poor Applejack and Rarity.
(Back to the royal pair, who trade a confused glance that is quickly cut off by the o.s. Discord’s sneeze warm-up. As Twilight instinctively raises her wings to shield herself, Cadence fires up her horn; in a longer shot, she conjures up a hemispherical force field around the pair. It vanishes from sight, but flickers briefly when the sneeze comes out and impacts it.)
Cadence: (letting it flicker again) Magic health bubble.
Twilight: Good thinking! (Discord leans his forehead on it; glimmer on contact.)
Discord: Indeed. (running a talon over it) How would Twilight nurse me back to health if she were sick too? (smiling deviously) You will be letting me stay at your place until I’m all better, won’t you? (He backs off.)
Twilight: (dumbfounded) Stay? With me? (Hasty glance at Cadence.) Uh, now is not really the best time. (under her breath) Though I’m sure you already knew that.
Discord: (beseechingly) But taking in the sick and the desperate… (Several butterflies flit away from him.) …isn’t that what Fluttershy would do?
(He puts his paw and talons on the health bubble, causing it to flare up at those points.)
Discord: Isn’t helping something that friends do for friends?
(A pleading smile shifts gears into a suspicious grimace without bothering with the clutch.)
Discord: (turning away) Unless, of course, you’re really saying that you’re not my friend.
(A pout and grumbling little bray; Twilight and Cadence toss each other a quick sidelong look, sizing up the conundrum.)
Twilight: (through gritted teeth) No, that is not what I’m saying! (He turns to them, all smiles.)
Discord: Oh, how elated I am to hear that! (Slither up onto the bubble, all his limbs vanishing.) Shall the three of us head back to your place? I don’t want to get anypony else sick.
Twilight: (sighing heavily, trudging away with Cadence) Guess we don’t have much choice.
(The magical barrier moves with them, and Discord slides off it to land in a slightly kinked-up position on his belly. He re-materializes his lion-paw forelimb and raises it.)
Discord: (weakly) Carry me?
(The appendage falls off, as do his wings, and the camera cuts to both Princesses as they stop.)
Cadence: It isn’t far. I think you can manage. (Back to Discord, his wings and limbs back on.)
Discord: Oh, poo.
(Rather than get upright, he propels himself along the ground like the world’s strangest earthworm. Dissolve to a close-up of the pillow on Twilight’s bed being magically fluffed up. He curls up on the mattress and rests his head, and a little more telekinesis pulls the blanket up to cover him. Cut to Twilight and Cadence at the other end of her bedroom loft in the library’s upper-story living quarters; Twilight has changed out of her Starswirl outfit.)
Twilight: (acerbically) Need anything else?
Discord: (sniffling, opening nightstand drawer) Just knowing that I have a good friend like you— (rummaging around) —to take care of me has made me feel better already.
(What he pulls out is a very, very long scroll closely covered with writing; after a quick skim, it goes back in the drawer.)
Discord: I’ll be fine here on my own.
(A book is picked up from the nightstand and opened, and the two royals—one rather grumpier than the other—start for the stairs. Before they can get more than a few steps away, he sits up in bed and they freeze in their tracks as soon as he speaks.)
Discord: Oh! Just before you go… (holding lion-paw digits very close together) …just a little small request.
(Cut to the two caretakers. Twilight sighs wearily; Cadence lays a reassuring hoof on her shoulder.)
Cadence: (whispering) It’s going to be fine. We’ll just get him what he wants and be back to the exhibit in no time.
(Her sister-in-law smiles at this, and both turn back toward the invalid draconequus.)
Cadence: What was it that you needed?
Light woodwind/string/xylophone stoptime melody, brisk 4 (D minor)
Discord shifts between speaking in rhythm and singing during each verse
Each item/effect/setting he names disappears as soon as he mentions a new one
(He holds an empty glass into view toward her; zoom out to frame him now standing nearby.)
Discord: A little glass of water, please
(Pull a handkerchief from Twilight’s ear and wipe his nose.)
A fresh-pressed hanky if I sneeze
(Conjure up a teacup from which several bees buzz away.)
Some tea with honey from the bees
Whenever you can brew it
Music pauses
Cadence: I’ll get your tea.
Music resumes
(She hurries away; he zaps himself back into bed. It flips up on its headboard to eject a smaller copy of itself ,which promptly does the same.)
Discord: And while I get a little rest
(The smallest bed flips up; a medium-size Discord stands up from the space beneath, holding a medicine bottle.)
A teeny tiny small request
(Pull the cork; a very large fish pops most of the way out of its mouth.)
Some codfish oil for my chest
(The fish manifests a straw boater hat and a cane.)
Fish: (Discord’s voice) Poured from a crystal cruet
Music pauses
(Cadence comes back up, levitating a pitcher.)
Twilight: A crystal cruet?
Music resumes; faster tempo, increasing gradually in speed and urgency
Tuba/timpani sneak in; stoptime feel ends
(He straightens up, back to full size.)
Discord: My goodness, I’m a nincompoop
(Snowflake-like spots in various colors pop out all over his face and neck.)
Because I fear I’ve got the croup
(At the bottom of the loft stairs, Cadence stirs a caldron as Twilight levitates one of several pumpkins into it; he yanks the lot away.)
I need a vat of pumpkin soup
(He empties it over their heads, instead of soup, flowers pour over both mares.)
And scarves made out of zinnias
(Flash; the blooms have become long silk scarves draped over their backs.)
Did I say zinnias? I meant silk
(A hard yank sets them spinning away like a top.)
Or something shiny of that ilk
(He swims through a lake of milk in the meadows outside Ponyville.)
And then I’ll need some nice warm milk
(A desert backdrop falls into view behind him as he holds up a cinnamon roll.)
And pastry from Ab’ssinia
(It goes down his gullet in one chomp. Back to the bedroom: a close-up of his stomach, on which his face appears as crumbs tumble down past it.)
Discord: And since my stomach’s feeling crummy
Why not give my aching tummy
(The face returns to the front of his head; Cadence covers her own with her wings and Twilight averts hers.)
Something soothing, something yummy
(A torrent of pasta pours onto the Princesses, irking them considerably.)
Piled up with noodles?
(A slice of bread falls into view; behind it, the background wipes to a table.)
Discord: Add a slice of homemade rye
(Slices of cheese are quickly added to make a stack reaching to the ceiling.)
With stacks of Swiss way up high
(The table is in a diner; he sits at it as a very put-out Twilight walks up, dressed as a waitress with rhinestone-studded glasses and levitating a quill and order pad. Piles of pies and bags of herbs materialize around Discord.)
Served with sides of sweet mince pie
More basil, I need oodles
Music pauses
Twilight: (rolling her eyes) Anything else?
Music resumes; stoptime woodwind/string/xylophone melody, slow 4
(Snap to black, against which Discord dances and spins with Twilight in a spotlight.)
Discord: I’ll be grateful for your charity
Until the bitter end
(A flash, and he lies on the floor clutching a rose with her balanced on a raised curl of his body. From here, he nimbly twirls back up and balances himself on her raised front hooves, surprising her no end, before slithering down to dance close again.)
Because I’ve heard that tenderness
Is what you lend an ailing friend
Music pauses
Discord: (stroking her cheek) Tenderness. Isn’t that right, friend?
Twilight: Right, but—
(They and Cadence are instantly back in the bedroom; he drops her on the floor.)
Discord: So, who’s ready for my big reprise?
Music resumes; faster tempo, increasing gradually in speed and urgency
Tuba/timpani sneak in; stoptime feel ends
(He stands against a landscape of giant crackers, some partially eaten, and holds up two.)
Discord: I’d like that glass of water, please
(The three stand outside a castle at night, dressed in shirts, ties, and black wizard robes. Twilight wears large round glasses, and Discord has a head full of shaggy white hair.)
Some magic spell to cure disease
(He sneezes toward a Ponyville house and sends it tumbling away, conjuring up a hanky to wipe his nose.)
A firm “gesundhoof” when I sneeze
(Bedroom; he yanks Twilight’s horn off and turns it into a sheaf of flowers.)
A fresh bouquet of roses
(Outside in the fields; he holds two cough drops. A donkey stands on a hillside, blowing a tuba.)
Some lozenges will soon appease
(They grow very large; he holds them up to his nostrils.)
My wheezing when I start to sneeze
(Bedroom; he flashes into being here and deftly switches the manes of Twilight and Cadence, the former with her horn back on straight.)
A wig to keep me from the breeze
(Hind limbs are held up, wrapped in pink sheets.)
And blankets for my toes-es
(An airport security checkpoint. Now dressed in a suit jacket/shirt/tie and hat, he removes a pair of tweezers from a bag on its way into the X-ray machine as guards watch, bemused.)
Discord: Take tweezers out of my valise
(Bedroom; he lies in bed, getting his hind limbs kneaded by two very repulsed Princesses whose manes have found their way back to their proper heads.)
And then massage my knobby knees
(A wheel of cheese and a grater wink into being above a large bowl of peas and are put to use garnishing it.)
A bowl of peas, some extra cheese
(A small Discord lounges on top of a very large dog.)
A cuddle with a Pekingese
(He stands on a broad staircase at whose bottom a gold harp stands; its column is sculpted as a rearing ,singing, earth pony mare.)
A singing harp who’s named Louise
(A goggle-equipped goat skis down a snowy slope, wondering exactly how it wound up there; next he launches himself from a circus trapeze.)
A goat on skis, a new trapeze
(Other views tile themselves onto the screen as vertical panels: miniature Discord riding a monkey fitted with bit and bridle, full-size Discord dressed as a ringmaster and presiding over a flea circus, another of him squeezing a little Twilight doll until its eyes bug out. One last Discord rises into view in front of the collage.)
And more and more and more and more of these
(As he holds out the last word, he lets his voice rise an octave and a little spare change.)
Music pauses
(The four scenes behind him freeze, and the front teeth in his broad grin swing open so that a sixth Discord can put his head and upper body out.)
Discord: And just because I oughta…
Music resumes; slow tempo, quickly speeding up and building in urgency
(Gradual modulation to E flat minor)
(Close-up of him lying on the ground, guzzling water as fast as it pours into his mouth.)
Discord: Make sure I’m drinking in the right
(Zoom out; the drink is supplied by a pipe snaking down from the village water tower. His stomach balloons out with the sheer volume. Sun goes down; moon comes up.)
Amount of fluids day and night
(Bedroom; he looks out the window at a star in the night sky, then rubs a brass oil lamp as if trying to summon a genie.)
I wish I may, I wish I might
(Outside, daytime; he uses calipers and a magnifying glass to inspect a suddenly tiny Twilight.)
Have just one little thing
(Inside a wishing well; standing at the lip, he drops in a coin as Twilight and Cadence watch. The coin falls toward the camera, showing his visage on its face and blacking out the screen.)
Oh, would you please finally bring
(Snap to a freeze frame of him holding up his empty glass under a starry sky; the two mares sit at his feet. Zoom in on the container, framed by a bright starburst, then cut to him sitting on a chair under a spotlight. He pulls a rope, bringing down a deluge on himself.)
Me that tiny glass of water?
(As he holds the last note, it floods to fill the screen, then drains away to put him back in the bedroom. He stands atop Twilight’s bed amid the swirling maelstrom of scrambled possessions and flops back down onto it in close-up, pulling up the blanket.)
Song ends in time with this last action
(Letting go with a nasty coughing jag, he looks placidly across the room—and finds nearly every square inch of it to be a dripping mess thanks to his last shenanigans. Twilight and Cadence have fared no better. The latter floats a glass of water over so Discord can pick it up; in close-up, he turns to the side, lifts it to drink, and instead drops it on the floor.)
Discord: Oops. Sorry.
(Longer shot; the room and the mares are now dry. Here comes a sneeze with a new effect: his entire body disintegrates into a mass of bubbles that float up and away.)
Twilight: (really fed up, walking away) All right, this is ridiculous!
Cadence: How did you even catch this flu?
(As she speaks, he emerges from the space between the bed and window, sprays some disinfectant over the invisible health bubble, and wipes it with a cloth.)
Discord: Inadequate hoof and claw washing. (Cut to Twilight, poring over three books held in her magic.)
Twilight: There must be some way to just cure you! (flipping pages) There has to be a spell or a remedy in one of my books!
Discord: (from o.s.; books drop) There is one way.
(She throws a puzzled look back across the loft; cut to the bed, where Discord now lies with his head near the footboard so he can smile at an annoyed Cadence. Twilight crosses to them.)
Cadence: And you didn’t think to mention it earlier?
Discord: (airily) Slipped my mind.
(One talon traces a lazy little circle in the air between the three, conjuring up a blob of whitish magic. Close-up of this, now seen as a thought bubble. As he continues, a landscape consisting of a grassy hill framed against desert mesas fades into view. On the hill is a flower with deep magenta petals and a yellow center. The sun sinks past the horizon.)
Discord: (from o.s.) On a hill, at the very edge of Equestria, there grows an exquisite magic flower.
(It uproots itself and floats above the hill. During the next line, land and sky fade away and the petals fall one by one; around them, water and the rim of a vessel fade into view.)
Discord: (from o.s.) Pick the flower as it drops its petals at sunset.
(Zoom out as he continues; it is a teapot, and the lid claps down onto it as a cup floats over and Discord walks up. The pot pours out for him, and as soon as he drinks, he recovers his normal coloration.)
Discord: (from o.s.) Then you can make a magical soothing elixir to cure the blue flu.
(A snap of his talons dispels the view; the screen clears to leave his present sickly self in the same position in the bedroom.)
Twilight: I suppose you have a good reason you didn’t bother to go get this flower as soon as you realized you were sick!
Discord: Well, I couldn’t travel that far in my condition. (wrapping blanket around himself, shivering) By the time I got there, I’d be too weak to even attempt to retrieve the flower.
(Close-up of the pony pair, who are really having a hard time accepting this flipped-out explanation.)
Twilight: So where exactly are Cadence and I headed?
(A flash from o.s.; zoom out to frame Discord now standing next to Twilight. He has donned a garish Hawaiian shirt, bucket hat, and mirrored sunglasses, has a lollipop protruding from his mouth with the stick end in his teeth, and is holding a map.)
Discord: Well… (clearing throat, turning map at various angles) …you want to head north, turn left at—oh. (folding it into a hat) You know, it would be much easier if I took you there myself.
(The impromptu chapeau is dropped onto Twilight’s head; she is not amused. Close-up of Cadence.)
Cadence: (skeptically) I thought you were in no condition to travel.
(Longer shot; Twilight has ditched the hat, and Discord winks in, having shed his goofy getup.)
Discord: I’m not. (Forelimbs go around both sets of shoulders.) We’ll need to make some arrangements.
(He voices a low, sneaky little chuckle as the sisters-in-law share a glance best translated as “Any bets on how much worse this is going to get?” Snap to black.)
Act Three
(Opening shot: fade in to a close-up of Discord, very much at ease in a golden seat well stocked with pillows. The sound of rushing air is heard, and the camera zooms out to a very long shot of his mode of conveyance. It is a throne on a massive raised dais, with a flight of steps leading up to it and flanked by four statues that all bear a likeness of his head. The lower two resemble the Sphinx in Egypt, while the top two are only giant busts. A large gong is mounted behind the throne. The entire assembly, constructed of solid gold, would not be out of place in a pharaoh’s court; it is flying through the late-afternoon sky, pulled by Twilight and Cadence in harnesses hooked to the Sphinxes’ mouths. The pink Princess is winded and flagging badly.)
Twilight: Doing okay there? (Cut to just behind their heads.)
Cadence: To be honest, I’m a little out of practice when it comes to flying.
Discord: (from o.s.) Well, then… (They glance back.) …lucky for you. (Long shot of the entire rig.) We’re here.
(It descends toward the grassy hill and arid desert landscape from his thought bubble and touches down on a path next to a deep canyon. Discord ends up slumped among the pillows.)
Discord: (pointing) It’s just at the top of that hill.
(His two chauffeurs look in that direction, now out of their harnesses. Cut to the start of the path, zooming out to frame its winding course uphill, then to one rise as they top it.)
Twilight: I’m really sorry about this. All I wanted was for us to have some peaceful quality time together.
Cadence: I know. (Long overhead shot, tilting ahead toward the hilltop.) I was looking forward to it too.
(A dissolve puts them at the end of their road; they stop in front of a tree trunk that is only partly in view. Cadence runs an eye over the ground as Twilight walks to the edge and looks around. No flower in sight.)
Twilight: This is the top, but where is that flower?
(Something very magenta, and at least twice her length and width, drops into view to cover her completely like a sheet. As she tries in vain to throw it off, Cadence kicks in a little magic and pulls it away. Laid out flat on the ground, it has the general shape of a flower petal. Twilight looks at it, then the trunk, and the camera tilts up to put her o.s. and show that the “tree” is actually the flower Discord described to them. He failed, however, to mention its sheer size.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) Oh. (Back to her, lifting off.) Come on. If we hurry, we can still have some time together.
(Cut to Cadence during this line; she follows suit, and the two stop on opposite sides of the stem. Their respective magics spread over the behemoth, and in due time the soil fractures in a ring encircling its base. It begins to rise clear of the ground; close-up of Cadence.)
Cadence: (straining) One…last…pull…
(The screen splits more or less vertically, with her in the right side and Twilight on the left, and the two panels slide back to make room for a third in the middle: the mighty stem hovering on the edge of breaking loose. Just as it comes free, the center panel expands to fill the screen, framing both magic-users and the very large crater they have just ripped open. Twilight flies over to Cadence in close-up.)
Twilight: Phew! Let’s get Discord and this flower back home. (A great rumbling starts up.) Then all our problems are sol—
Cadence: What in Equestria?
(The commotion is coming from the denuded hilltop—or, more specifically, the gargantuan, scaly, wormlike beast that erupts from the new hole. It voices a bellowing scream that has both of them gaping in shock; the scaly hide is blue-violet, with a red fringe just behind the pink head. It leans down to the sisters-in-law, training beady white/black eyes marked by red streaks on them for a long moment, and the mouth opens radially in three directions to let go with a shrill cry of fury. Three long black tentacles extend from the fearsome maw. The two Princesses have just met the Tatzlwurm.)
(Twilight and Cadence find their tongues in the form of a double scream; Twilight dodges a chomp, then Cadence, and they zoom away as it ducks back into the hole. An instant later it is airborne, having propelled itself skyward with its great muscles, and closing in fast with jaws wide open. One tentacle snags a pink hind leg and begins to drag Cadence down.)
Cadence: Twilight! (Cut to Twilight; she continues o.s.) Help! (Stop dead.)
Twilight: (diving) Get your coils off my sister-in-law!
(She fires off a spell, connecting squarely with the black appendage and causing it to release its grip. The Tatzlwurm falls on the hill and promptly lashes upward again, snagging the violet flyer this time—one foreleg, one hind leg, and around the midsection for good measure. Her cry of fear brings Cadence to a halt; she gasps and hurtles back toward her screaming friend, sending down a pair of blasts to dislodge two tentacles.)
Cadence: Let go of my sister-in-law!
(One more shot gets Twilight free so she can fly up again.)
Twilight: Thanks.
Cadence: (pointing downward) Don’t thank me yet!
(The thing is good and mad, judging from its howling upward lunge; Twilight has time for one horrified gasp before the tripartite jaws clamp shut around both of them. It plummets back to earth, only to have its mouth blown open by a strong magic burst from within. Down it goes, the sound of its impact far below drifting up to the mares as they brake to a midair stop. Now they circle around the Tatzlwurm, strafing from every angle they can reach as it screeches out its rancor.)
Twilight: Just…a little…more…
(Here comes her next beam, Cadence adding her own, and the combined power streaming into the head forces it to retreat into its hole and out of sight.)
Cadence: And for good measure…
(A bit of telekinesis shifts several loose boulders up to the hilltop and jams them into the crater. These shift slightly under the impact of a few strikes from underground—the thing trying to break through—but remain in place. Cadence lands alongside the pile as Twilight touches down on top of them, both out of breath.)
Twilight: Are you okay?
Cadence: (smiling) Yes. Better than okay, actually.
Twilight: Then let’s get Discord back to Ponyville, make that elixir, and finally get a chance to spend some quality time together!
(The pink ruler’s smile has turned into a full-on grin by the time she finishes. Dissolve to a stretch of the canyon; the giant flower is levitated into view around a bend, under the influence of Twilight and Cadence flying close behind.)
Discord: (from o.s., with gusto) To the ends of Equestria!
(That tone of voice causes their eyes to pop. Cut to an overhead shot of him on the end of this—flying throne nowhere in sight, gamboling about, and his normal colors entirely restored.)
Discord: To face such great danger! And she did it for me! She did it all for me! (He conjures up a boater hat and dons it, dancing o.s.) For me, for me!
(Just as quickly, he slides back into view while laughing wildly. The hat is gone; instead he now wears a white dress shirt, a pair of underwear, white socks, and sunglasses. His jubilation and momentum come to a quick end as he reaches two incredibly angry Princesses on the path. The shades are lifted for a clearer view; cut to their silent and stern countenances, then back to him. He has now shed all but the shades, and he pulls these off as Twilight flies up into his face.)
Twilight: You…were…FAKING?!? (He grins hugely.)
Discord: I was! (gently pushing her down to ground) But I had a very good reason.
Twilight: We’re listening.
Discord: Well…
(A tree with purple bark and blue boughs sprouts instantly to a great height, carrying him up and o.s. Only the first couple of words of the following are delivered with him in view.)
Discord: (from o.s.) …I was in my thinking tree. (Long shot; he lounges on a branch.) That’s where I do most of my really deep thinking.
(A flash, and he and it are gone; he hovers over to them.)
Discord: I was there and I said to myself, I said… (stroking her mane, lion-paw forelimb around shoulders) “Discord, your friend Twilight says that she’s your pal, but she never writes and she never pops in for a visit.”
Twilight: I don’t even know where you li— (Talons pinch her lips shut.)
Discord: “Now that she’s a princess, maybe she’s decided that she’s too good for you.”
(On the start of this line, he conjures on his head a copy of the tiara she wore at the end of Part Two of “Princess Twilight Sparkle.” As he finishes, cut to the disbelieving equines.)
Twilight: I have never considered myself too— (Back to Discord, the tiara gone.)
Discord: But how was I supposed to know for sure that I’m truly still friends with one of the most important ponies around?
Twilight: I’m not more im— (His tail wraps around her midsection and lifts her to eye level.)
Discord: By seeing if you would go to the ends of Equestria—for me, of course. (grinning) Which you did—literally! (He grabs a front hoof and shakes it.) Congratulations, Twilight, you passed my friendship test!
(On the end of this, he reaches o.s. and comes up with a medal on a chain, which he hangs around her neck. As he uncoils his tail, she takes a look at the thing; a close-up shows it as the left half of a heart broken down the middle, displaying his face set in a slightly crazed grin. He reaches into view and fits the right half to it, completing the picture: the trickster giving a big thumbs-up and partly obscuring the figure of Twilight standing alongside. Tilt up from the decoration to the violet face, which aims two supremely exasperated eyes straight ahead, then cut to frame both of them. Discord wears the right-half medal on a chain around his own neck and is waving a small pennant.)
Discord: Why the angry eyes? (Pennant vanishes.) You love passing tests. It’s not because my little exam put a damper on your visit with Princess Cadence, is it? (Twilight slumps a bit, still hovering. Both half-medals are gone.) Made it so that there was no time for you two to focus on your friendship?
(His voice shifts to subtle mockery on the end of this, but Cadence counters with a gentle smile.)
Cadence: You didn’t put a damper on our visit at all.
Twilight, Discord: (flabbergasted) He/I didn’t? (Twilight touches down next to her.)
Cadence: Spending the day at the Starswirl the Bearded exhibit would’ve been more relaxing, but to be honest, relaxation is the last thing I need.
Twilight: It is?
Cadence: Don’t get me wrong. Life in the Crystal Empire is wonderful, but it’s become a little…predictable. (laughing) I enjoy a little excitement now and then. Getting to face all these challenges today was just what I needed. And facing them with you just made me realize even more how lucky I am to have somepony like you as a friend.
(One of her gold-shod hooves comes up to rest on Twilight’s back as she finishes, and the two turn it into an embrace, ignoring the grumbly little sound that comes up from the back of Discord’s throat.)
Cadence: We may not see each other very often, but I know you’ll always be there when I need you. (Both glance toward him.) Just like she was there for you, Discord.
Discord: (petulantly) Yes, she’s a real sweetheart. We’re all so lucky to have her in our lives.
(Comes now a great rumbling, and all three clear out just before the giant worm breaks through to daylight. It is good and sore, and it lashes its mouth tentacles toward the trio but comes up dry because they are out of range. Discord has wound up in the grip of Twilight’s forelegs and is, for once, genuinely surprised and scared.)
Discord: What in the world?!
(The leviathan rears back as if preparing to strike, opens its mouth a bit, fluffs out the red fringe behind its head—and then leans down to sneeze over the three travelers. The health bubble Cadence cast shimmers over herself and Twilight as the phlegm strikes it, but the draconequus ends up thoroughly doused in the green gunk. The worm backs away with a groggy little groan and sinks into the hole it opened. Another flicker of the bubble testifies to its continuing efficacy for the two equines; Discord’s entire body, though, turns assorted shades of green, leaving only his eyes and brows/beard/tail tuft unaffected as before. A rash of green spots breaks out all over—now he is really sick.)
(Dissolve to the exterior of Fluttershy’s cottage and zoom in slowly. It is daytime.)
Twilight: (from inside, dictating) “I think it’s pretty clear that my visit with Cadence—”
(Inside, she paces the floor while Spike writes her words in the group’s shared journal.)
Twilight: “—didn’t go quite the way I expected. But in the end, I realized that when you’re with a good friend, even the most chaotic day can end up being a great experience that brings you closer.” (addressing herself o.s.) Wouldn’t you agree…
(Cut to a miserable-looking Discord inside a large, transparent bubble with an opening to pass things in/out. He is half-sitting, half-lying under a blanket and propped up on a pillow. All of his remaining lines are slightly muffled by the barrier.)
Twilight: (from o.s., pointedly) …Discord? (Applejack walks over, glaring at him; she is back to her normal coat color.)
Discord: (sniffling, hoarse/congested) Yes, Twilight. (Rarity joins her, also restored.)
Applejack: I don’t want to go sayin’ you got what you deserved.
Rarity: Well, I have no trouble saying it. (Applejack smirks.) You got what you deserved!
(Fluttershy approaches the opening, now out of the traveling gear she wore in Act One.)
Fluttershy: Now, now, he’s learned his lesson. (She flies up and puts a hoof through to stroke him.) Isn’t that right, my little patient?
Discord: I’m so glad that you’re back from your trip, Fluttershy. Just your presence here is making me feel so much better.
(Twilight rolls her eyes and voices a disgusted little neigh, and the camera cuts to a long shot of the entire group. Pinkie is now lying on top of the bubble, and Rainbow hovers smugly nearby.)
Discord: I was just wondering. Could I trouble you for just one more thing?
Twilight: NO!!
Discord: (hurt tone) What? I was simply going to ask… (holding lion-paw digits very close together) …for a teeny tiny glass of water.
(He finishes up with an angelic smile, and the view fades to black.)
PINKIE PRIDE
Story by Jayson Thiessen
Written by Amy Keating Rogers
Produced by Sarah Wall, Devon Cody
Story editing by Meghan McCarthy
Supervising direction by Jayson Thiessen
Co-directed by Jim Miller
Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)
Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of the main street in Appleloosa, last seen in “Over a Barrel.” Under the twilight sky, the town is tricked out for a heavy-duty party: pennants streaming in the breeze, lights and balloons on all the buildings, spotlights picking out the overhead decorations, banners and bunting in abundance. The locals have turned out in force for this get-together, as have quite a few members of the buffalo tribe against whom they had previously faced off, and their cheers and merrymaking can be heard loud and clear. Fireworks burst over the scene as the camera zooms out to frame a solitary pony watching from a ridge not too far away.)
(The observer is a tall yellow-orange stallion with a curly brown mane/tail and yellow-green eyes. He wears a dark gray hat with a low, flat crown and a broad brim, as well as a poncho in various shades of gray and white that covers his cutie mark. A small saddle rests on his back; here rides a fully plucked chicken sporting a black bowler hat with an orange band. The stallion is Cheese Sandwich, whose low, rough-edged voice is a perfect match for his stern, unsmiling demeanor.)
Cheese: Well, Boneless… (glancing back at chicken) …looks like our work here is done.
(In close-up, Boneless’ head sags slowly to one side and its expression does not shift a whit—it is made of rubber. Now Cheese turns away from the scene, facing the camera full-on and exposing the rolled-up party favor in his mouth, and begins walking.)
Cheese: Yep, those ponies never partied so hard, thanks to me… (Extreme close-up of his eyes.) …Cheese. (They narrow…) Cheese Sandwich.
(…but then pop wide open as the camera zooms out quickly to frame all of him, and a tremor in his head causes his hat to fly off, the party favor to drop from his lips, and the yellow-green eyes to jitter in their sockets. The lack of a horn under the head covering marks him as an earth pony. The jitter works its way along the rest of his body; the fringe of his poncho shifts slightly as a result to uncover his cutie mark. This consists of a grilled cheese sandwich cut vertically in half, with the two pieces pulled slightly apart and connected by ropes of the melted yellow stuff. His tremors cause these to shift back and forth like the ends of an accordion; once they die out, he jumps high into the air with an ecstatic whoop. Now his voice takes on a goofy, perhaps slightly manic tone as he floats back down to earth, the air filling his poncho and lifting it to show the yellow shirt beneath.)
Cheese: That was a doozy!
(He touches down and picks up his hat, assuming his previous stern manner of speaking. Boneless bobbles a little bit in the saddle.)
Cheese: Well, Boneless… (The hat goes on.) …looks like our next party’s gonna be in… (Head-on close-up.) …Ponyville.
(On this last word, the view contracts to a narrow horizontal strip that picks out his hard, narrowed eyes. Fade to black.)
OPENING THEME
Act One
Bouncy string melody with xylophone/glockenspiel, mandolin
Brisk 4 (D major)
(Opening shot: fade into an overhead view of a Ponyville street during the day and pan along its length as several residents poke their heads out of doors and windows. All are smiling, including the ones idling near the fountain, and plenty of balloons float lazily toward the rooftops. The view shifts to a head-on long shot of one bridge over the stream bordering the town and zooms in. A blast of confetti and streamers from the far side marks the arrival of Pinkie Pie, saddlebags on back.)
Pinkie: Every single day there’s something new you can plan for
(hopping, walking on forelegs; the Cutie Mark Crusaders gallop after her; brief shot of her upside-down perspective of them)
Every single day there’s something wonderful to do
(She gets upright and trots to an earth pony stallion whose market stall is loaded with huge spools of streamers.)
But nothing makes me happy like a day that I can say,
“Today I planned a party and it’s just for you”
(She ends this line with a hoof pointed at the camera, then turns to the streamer vendor.)
Streamer vendor: How’s it going today, Pinkie?
Pinkie: Great, thanks. Got any streamers today? (She holds a bag open, flap in teeth.)
Streamer vendor: (laughing, fishing up a spool) You betcha! Big party planned? (He nudges it across; it falls into her bag and she closes it.)
Pinkie: (trotting away) Don’t you know it!
(A mass of balloons floats up; behind them, the view wipes to show her watching the clock tower. Its hands whirl quickly through the hours, and she pulls out a long checklist.)
Tuba sneaks in
Pinkie: Don’t have much time to gather all the things I need
(She drops it and bounds up across the rooftops.)
If I’m really gonna make this party fly
(Stop on a stall awning to survey the gathering in the street.)
For today’s another day that all of Ponyville will say
(She leaps away.)
Crowd: There goes the super party pony, Pinkie Pie
(Wipe to Mr. and Mrs. Cake pushing a baby carriage along the thoroughfare. Pound and Pumpkin put their heads up over its canopy.)
E major
Mr. and Mrs. Cake: She planned our first foal shower where we played all sorts of games
(The cloth folds down to expose Pinkie as well, with a pacifier in her mouth; she spits it out and jumps away, confetti showering down.)
Having so much fun as we chose Pound and Pumpkin’s names
(As she trots past the restaurant, the camera zooms in on Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon at an outdoor table. The former has a dish of ice cream; the latter brings over a chocolate milkshake.)
Diamond: She planned my cute-ceañera my dad made me, I won’t lie
(knocking her ice cream off table, grabbing Silver’s shake)
I demanded all the best, I suppose she passed the test
Sure, it was pretty good, all thanks to Pinkie Pie
(By the time she turns her attention back to the table, she finds—to her annoyance—that her fellow spoiled brat has reclaimed the shake and is sucking down on it.)
Pinkie: Thanks! (puzzled) I guess?
(A palette daubed with many vivid shades is held into view toward her by a white hoof.)
Male voice: (French accent) What color paints do you need?
(Longer shot: the hoof and voice belong to a blue-maned stallion addressing her through the open top half of his shop’ s front door, which has paint cans stacked up nearby. He wears a red beret and a few spots of his own wares.)
Pinkie: I’m gonna need the full rainbow! (Close-up of one bag, open; the paints are poured in, mixing to a dull brown.)
Paint vendor: (from o.s.) A paintbrush, too? (One is dropped in.)
Pinkie: (from o.s.) Yes, if you please.
(The cover flips shut; zoom out to frame her now at a mare’s market stall. This one is a unicorn, with a straw boater hat perched behind her horn, and the rolls of fabric and sign showing a blank banner tell her particular business. The bag that received the paint is noticeably bulging now.)
Banner vendor: And what from me?
Pinkie: Your biggest banner! (One is floated into the other bag.) This party’s gonna be the best!
Banner vendor: (laughing) I don’t doubt it!
(A party hat is tossed onto her horn. Overhead view of one street; Pinkie zips from one vendor to the next, staying just ahead of the slowly advancing crowd as the camera pans ahead to follow her progress. The stops leave balloons and streamers tied to her tail.)
D major
Crowd: Every single day there’s something new we can plan for
(She walks ahead.)
Every single day there’s something wonderful to try
But nothing makes us happy like a day that we can say,
(They stop; she is out of sight, but a burst of confetti from around a corner sets them galloping in eagerly.)
“Today there’ll be a party planned by Pinkie Pie”
G flat major
(Cut to a close-up of a rainbow-hued stream of paint pouring down from above just outside Sugarcube Corner, tilting up, then to a longer shot of the area. Pinkie has spread her banner on the ground and is leaping here and about with the brush, slapping down colors with great gusto as her five friends and Spike watch. The colors of the paints she bought have separated themselves, and she has shed her saddlebags, balloons, and streamers.)
Rarity: I don’t know how she does it!
Twilight Sparkle: Wow, look at her go!
Applejack: Ho-boy, this is gonna be good! (Cut to Fluttershy on the end of this.)
Fluttershy: Go, Pinkie, go!
Timpani in (E major)
Background lyrics in square brackets
Crowd: There’s no other pony like her, no pony that could be
(They face off in pairs from opposite sides of the street.)
As great [as great], as fun [as fun]
(Twilight, Pinkie, and Rarity gather in the fore, the banner rising in the two horned mares’ magical grip.)
As our super party pony, Pinkie
(It rises higher and higher, stretched taut between the two poles to which its ends are attached, and Pinkie tosses up a load of balloons and confetti over her friends, accompanied by the crowd’s cheer.)
Song ends
Pinkie: Ooh! (grabbing Rarity, giving her a noogie) I am so, so, so excited because today I’m planning the birthday bash of…
(Tilt up to the banner, putting her o.s. It shows a picture-perfect rendition of Rainbow Dash in flight, flanked by hearts and stars.)
Pinkie: (from o.s.) …Rainbow Dash!
(The picture opens its mouth to speak—the real McCoy, only posing.)
Rainbow: Yeah!
(She backs away to eye the actual artwork, which turns out to be a slightly rough but still quite passable version of her in the same pose, and swoops down. However, the pink dynamo grabs her front hooves and pulls her down for an icy blue-eyed stare at point-blank range.)
Pinkie: Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow: Yes, Pinkie?
Pinkie: You realize that by enlisting me as your party planner, I guarantee that this is going to be the funnest, most fantabulous, superbial party in Ponyville?
(Little by little during this line, she leans over Rainbow more and more until the blue flyer topples onto her back.)
Rainbow: (slightly uneasy) Uh…yeah…I guess. (Pinkie shoves a hoof into her mouth.)
Pinkie: No guesses! Parties are no picnic!
Fluttershy: Oh! I like a nice picnic party.
(This remark earns her a hard glare and a snarl, instantly cowing her.)
Fluttershy: Oh… (She drops out of sight.)
Pinkie: Parties are serious.
(Sitting on her haunches, she goes into the gestures for a Pinkie promise.)
Pinkie: And you have my certified Pinkie Party Promise… (Pull out a cupcake; mash it into her eye, splattering Rainbow.) …that you will have the best birthday party EVER! (Close-up of Rainbow.)
Rainbow: (smiling nervously) Okay. (Long shot; Pinkie instantly brightens, the goop falling off her face.)
Pinkie: Great! (hopping around) Now who’s ready to join this super-duper party pony to plan this super-duper par-tay?
(On the end of this, Rainbow sits up—her face instantly going clean as well—and Pinkie works herself around to a one-hoof headstand.)
Cheese: (from o.s., no-nonsense) I am.
(All eyes turn toward his voice; cut to a long shot of him, on his hind legs and leaning against a wall, and zoom in to the sound of their gasps. His hat is tilted forward to cover all of his face save his mouth, which has its party favor back in place and sounds off on it.)
Pinkie: Who are you, stranger? (Cheese spits the favor away.)
Cheese: Name’s Cheese Sandwich. (He steps toward her.) I plan parties.
Pinkie: What an amazing coincidence! I’m Pinkie Pie, and I’m planning a party!
Cheese: Oh, it’s no coincidence, my little pony. (Nudge the hat, fully exposing his face; he shades his eyes.) My Cheesy Sense was a-tinglin’, tellin’ me a party was in the works. (She moves in close.)
Pinkie: A Cheesy Sense? Ah! Double amazing! (She touches her forehead.) I have a Pinkie Sense!
Cheese: (dismissively, passing her) Yes. I sensed you did. And I happen to be the premier party planner in all of Equestria. (Cut to the banner; he continues o.s.) If there’s a party in need… (Tilt down to frame him and Rarity beneath.) …there I’ll be. (pacing; zoom in to extreme close-up) Be it wingding, hoedown, hootenanny, or shindig, I’m your pony.
(Long shot of the tableau; Pinkie hops excitedly over to him.)
Pinkie: A pair of party pony planners in Ponyville? What could be more perfect?
Rainbow: I’ll tell you what. Making this party epic! ’Cause this isn’t just any birthday. (Zoom in to a close-up.) It’s also the anniversary of when I moved to Ponyville!
Rarity: Good heavens, Rainbow Dash! It’s your birth-iversary!
Rainbow: Exactly! (She drops to hover between Pinkie and Cheese.) So what do you say, party planners?
Pinkie: (hopping in place) Oh, I think we can do it!
Cheese: (contemptuously) Oh, I don’t think so.
(Both mares pull in a disbelieving gasp.)
Cheese: (cheerfully, throwing off hat/poncho/saddle) I know so! After all…
Lively polka melody with accordion/drums/banjo/tuba, fast 4 (D major)
(He leans into Rainbow’s face.)
Cheese: The super-duper party pony, that pony is me
(He zips over to the others.)
I always knew that was the kind of pony I would be
Pinkie: Me too!
Cheese: Come on, ponies! Who here likes to party?
(With a laugh, he zips over to Mr. Waddle, out for a walk, and throws a foreleg over the old stallion’s shoulders.)
Cheese: You do, I can tell!
(A quick reach upward, and he pulls down a new view in front of the scene like a window shade. A large wheel of Swiss cheese sits on a white background; Cheese, as a bespectacled colt, leaps from hole to hole.)
Cheese: When I was but a little colt, I just wanted to play (Pinkie pops up.)
Pinkie: Like me!
(Down again; several irate adult ponies—and one flying pig—emerge and confront young Cheese.)
Cheese: But everypony told me, “Cheese, that fun just wastes the day”
(The here and now; this view is being shown on an easel, next to which Boneless is propped up without its bowler.)
Pinkie: As if!
(He knocks the picture aside, revealing a new one that shows three grumpy mares standing/sitting in a meadow, and jumps in with them. Zoom into this view; he dances wildly for them.)
Cheese: But when I threw a party and I busted out some moves
Pinkie: (from o.s.) Uh-huh!
(A couple of silly hats go on heads, and soon he has all three dancing under spotlights.)
Cheese: The ponies finally saw the light and got into the groove
(Up comes Pinkie, wearing a hat of her own and with stars in eyes.)
Pinkie: You know it!
(Back to the street. Cheese, now clad in white shirt, lederhosen, and a Tyrolean hat and playing an accordion, jumps out in front of the crowd.)
Cheese: The super-duper party pony, that pony is me (Pinkie puts her head up.)
Pinkie: And me! (Down again.)
(A quick twirl, and he is back in his yellow shirt and standing in a police lineup with others of similar coloration and garb.)
Cheese: You’ll never meet another party pony quite like Cheese
(Disco ball lights start up, along with dancing; zoom out to show Pinkie on the other side of the lineup room’s observation window.)
Pinkie: (puzzled) Uh, Pinkie?
Cheese: (to a mare in the lineup, pulling out a jar) Hey, good-lookin’, want some mayonnaise?
(Cut to an overhead shot of a party in progress; he trots in among the tables and guests. Zoom out to show that the area is an island laid out like a giant pizza, with one slice cut out and spotlights around the edges.)
Next four lines spoken in rhythm (E major)
Cheese: My parties are all off the hook, I never plan them by the book
(Two fillies eye a birthday cake; he hangs into view from above and drops confetti. The entire room rotates to exchange floor and ceiling, and the cake falls on his head as they cheer.)
I start out fun, then whoopsy-daisy, everybody just gets crazy
(Elsewhere in the house, three bored guests watch the mare of the house pull out a bale of hay and drop it on the table. Cheese rolls in a huge, lit bomb festooned with balloons/confetti/streamers.)
Bored of snacks made by your mom? How ‘bout a giant party bomb?
(A pink/white explosion yields a pig-shaped piñata, which ejects slices of cake from its mouth. These float past Cheese and a colt, up on a high-dive platform.)
Huge piñatas filled with cake, or dive into my fruit punch lake
(He tosses the colt over the edge…)
Colt 1: Geronimo!
(…to splash into a gigantic bowl of punch. Now Cheese’s head appears by itself, the rest of his body piecing itself together behind it, and resumes singing. A dance floor assembles under his hooves, and the lights come up to show a crowd gathered around as his crazy legs do their thing.)
D major
Cheese: The super-duper party pony, that pony is me
(They hurry onto the floor and toss him upward, the background going from dark to light.)
You’ll never meet another party pony quite like Cheese
B major
(His accordion falls into his grip, and he pulls the two ends apart to an impossible length. The curve of the extended bellows becomes a rainbow; zoom out to show it arcing over a party in the meadows outside Ponyville. Cheese bucks a gigantic gift box, causing it to fall open and reveal the saddled hippopotamus within.)
Cheese: (to one colt) Come on, kid! Take it for a spin!
Colt 2: (galloping over, climbing on) Golly! Thanks, mister! (The hippo lumbers off.)
D major
(Jumping clear of the scene, he uses his tail to reel in a stuffy-looking mare.)
Cheese: Oh, when I throw a Cheese party, be sure to not be lame
(He slams a huge pie into her face, shows off assorted kites flying overhead, and slings a bucketful of streamers at her.)
And miss my pie fights, wacky kites, and streamers in your mane
(Each of the following items is shown in close-up; he pops up from the last, a fondue pot.)
Fizzy drinks, Hawaiian shirts, and Brie fondue delight
(He plays his accordion for the crowd now gathered outside Sugarcube Corner.)
You know that with Cheese Sandwich, you’ll be partying all night
(Pinkie, standing at a distance back from the spectacle, looks over her shoulder and grimaces in sudden fear.)
Rainbow: Come on, everypony! (Pinkie is quickly lost in a stampede.) Let’s party down with Cheese!
(The rush has left Pinkie flat on her belly, but her friend takes no notice. Cut to the growing knot of equine onlookers and zoom out. Pinkie slowly gets to her hooves, the camera shifting to a close-up of her bewildered expression during the following exchange.)
Fluttershy: (to Cheese) You’re really a certified party pony? (Close-up of the downcast pink face.)
Cheese: That’s right! That’s my guarantee!
(Which catches Pinkie very much by surprise; now Cheese is hoisted overhead, accordion going full tilt.)
Cheese: The super-duper party pony, that pony is me
(He holds the last word as they toss him high into the air.)
Music pauses, then resumes as a sad harp/strings melody (slow 4)
(Pinkie takes a few hesitant steps toward the retreating group and holds a hoof toward them.)
Pinkie: But what about the super party pony named Pinkie?
Cheese: (now distant) Thanks, buddy! You’re gonna love this party! (Pinkie sits on the roadbed, crushed.) Hey, kid. Have a streamer, on me!
Song ends
(Cut to Rainbow doing an enthusiastic loop-the-loop in the sky.)
Rainbow: Yeah! Hah! Now that’s what I’m talking about! (She zooms down to address Cheese, now without his squeezebox.) I’m so stoked you’re here, Cheese Sandwich!
Applejack: Yeah. You sure did come on the right day. (Cut to Rarity.)
Rarity: (sighing happily) Your parties sound simply divine. (Laugh; pan to Twilight.)
Twilight: We’re so lucky to have you here!
Cheese: (donning a boater) Just doing my job, little fillies.
(Far from the madding crowd, a very glum pink pony stands up and begins to trail them. The camera stays on her.)
Rainbow: (from o.s.) I mean, Pinkie Pie’s parties are fun and sweet and all— (Cut to just behind Pinkie, framing the pegasus and Cheese.) —but now this party’s gonna be—
Cheese: —epic?
Rainbow: You said it!
Rainbow, Cheese: (high-fiving) Oh, yeah!/Feels Gouda! (She realizes Pinkie has seen the whole thing and chuckles weakly.) Uh, no offense, Pinkie.
(Close-up of the straggler on the end of this. Tears are working their way down from the big blue eyes, but she flicks out her tongue to lick them away and forces a grin.)
Pinkie: Uh…uh, none taken.
(The grin becomes a squeaky little one, but both it and her forward momentum drain away as the other ponies continue to follow/carry Cheese through the streets. She slumps on her hooves, the end of her forelock drooping in a very un-Pinkie-like fashion, and plods back the way she came. Fade to black.)
Act Two
(Opening shot: fade in to Cheese standing on a platform laid out in the grass. He is wearing a hard hat and has gone all business, signaling with a hoof to guide along an item of considerable size being held aloft by telekinesis. Cut to a close-up of a violet banner that depicts Rainbow’s smiling face, framed by stars/streamers/ribbons/party favors and a party hat atop the vibrant mane, and zoom out. Twilight and Rarity both have their horns going to maneuver it into place above a stage—the platform on which Cheese stands—as another mare carries a box of lights past them. Farther back, Derpy Hooves strings up a set of decorations that are copies of Rainbow’s cutie mark. The guest of honor flies onto the scene.)
Rainbow: My birth-iversary’s already looking way cooler! (She zips over to Cheese, now checking a clipboard, and eyes the banner.) You are my kind of party pony, Cheese Sandwich. (They bump foreheads together.)
Cheese: (laughing) You got that right, Rainbow Dash! (Another laugh.) All right, party ponies. I’ve got some planning to do!
(A round of cheers from spectators and his crew alike. Cut to a long shot of Pinkie sitting on her haunches under her birth-iversary banner outside Sugarcube Corner. One end falls loose from its pole as a lightning-bolt balloon drifts past. A close-up highlights her gloom-saturated expression.)
Twilight: (from o.s.) Pinkie!
(Her sagging head and forelock snap up, and she looks around herself in a panic before zipping over to some nearby flowers with a watering can and a big smile. Minor technical hitch: the water is pouring onto a drain grate set in the ground rather than onto any vegetation. Zoom out slightly on the next line to frame Twilight walking up, a set of cloud/lightning-bolt pennants floating overhead.)
Twilight: Aren’t you gonna help Cheese Sandwich plan the party?
Pinkie: Oh, that’s okay. (chuckling, sloshing can around) He obviously has what it takes to do it all by himself.
(She ends with a very forced laugh, now watering the pavement.)
Twilight: (puzzled) Really?
Pinkie: (grinning hugely) Yes indeedy!
(She holds the pose, even though the can has run dry. The only sound is that of the water trickling into the drain; after some moments, Twilight slowly and cautiously takes her leave. Zoom in slowly on Pinkie.)
Pinkie: (to herself, voice steadily shrinking away) After all, if Cheese really is the super-duper-iest partying-est pony of them all… (dropping can) …maybe that means…I’m…not.
Sad, subdued guitar melody with backing strings and light percussion/piano accents
Moderate 4 (B flat major)
(She trudges away, head hung low. Dissolve to an overhead shot of her moving down a mostly empty street.)
Pinkie: For all my life, all I’ve wanted to do
(She stops on a bridge and looks over the side into the stream.)
Was make my friends want to smile true
(Close-up of her reflection.)
But maybe I was wrong
(A tear falls into view and strikes the water, sending out rainbow-tinted ripples.)
And Pinkie Pie shouldn’t plan parties at all
(She finishes crossing the bridge. Dissolve to a doctor intently hunched over a patient during surgery: white hospital scrubs, mask, and hairnet over the mane, magnifying lenses clipped to the eyeglasses. One front hoof reaches out for an instrument, but two pink ones set a cupcake inn it instead.)
Woodwinds in; slightly faster tempo
Pinkie: I’ll try to get up on my hooves
(Longer shot: Pinkie is here, suited up as an orderly, and the doctor—a stallion—glares at her. Next, as a mail carrier, she swiftly stuffs letters into a row of mailboxes and drops a few along the way.)
And try a different task
(When a mare opens one of the boxes, she takes a faceful of high-speed streamers and confetti that gets her plenty steamed at the rookie. Cut to a construction site, where a couple of workers pull on ropes in teeth to hoist an o.s. load.)
I’ll find something new to do
(Pan to frame Pinkie on the job here, building a support column out of balloons and worrying the mare behind her considerably. It immediately starts to buckle.)
There’s gotta be more to me
(Now the structure’s entire frame comes down in a cloud of dust. When it clears, she has been stripped of her hard hat and is being bulldozed off the site.)
Than planning a party or two
(She reluctantly stands up and walks away. Dissolve to a screenful of purple draperies; Pinkie reaches through from behind and pushes these aside to look out. Her bedroom in Sugarcube Corner is visible behind her, and when the camera shifts to this area, she pushes her party cannon past the drapes and into a wardrobe.)
Woodwinds out; French horn in
Pinkie: I put away my party cannon
(Now she grabs a balloon and lets the air out of it, like the others scattered on her bed.)
I deflated all my balloons
(Cross the room toward the stairs to the balcony, her forelock drooping briefly.)
The bubbles all burst, now what is next for you?
(Nearby, on the wall, is a framed picture that can barely be seen for the reflection of light off its glass covering. Pinkie moves toward this, casting her own reflection on the glass, and tilts it slightly to get a better look.)
For you?
(It can now be seen clearly: herself as a filly, along with the rest of the Pie family, enjoying the first party she ever threw as described in “The Cutie Mark Chronicles.” Of note here is the fact that there are four fillies rather than three—Pinkie, sisters Limestone and Marble as seen in that flashback, and a bluish-gray one, lighter-colored than Limestone, with blue-green eyes and dark lavender mane/tail and eyeshadow. The downcast party planner’s ears perk up a bit as she runs a hoof across the frame.)
Music slowly brightens in tone and builds energy
Woodwinds, timpani sneak in
Pinkie: Oh, I remember this one! My first party ever. My whole family was there.
(Pan/tilt up slightly to a second picture: Twilight getting thoroughly surprised by Pinkie at a bash in the library, with Spike and the rest of the gang laughing it up.)
Pinkie: (from o.s.) And that’s Twilight’s “Welcome to Ponyville” party. She didn’t even expect that one. (Giggle.)
(Another such camera move picks out a picture of herself in a party hat, sliding across the floor on her hocks and whooping it up for her alligator Gummy. The bedroom is decked out, a slice of cake on a plate has been set on the floor, and the pet sports a hat of his own and no discernible change of emotion.)
Pinkie: (from o.s.) Oh, look at Gummy! He just looks so excited for this birthday party!
(On to another: Shining Armor and Princess Cadence sharing their first dance as a married couple during the wedding reception at the end of Part Two of “A Canterlot Wedding.” Twilight, Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Rarity look on.)
Pinkie: (from o.s.) Mmmm…Shining Armor and Cadence’s wedding sure was special—
(And another: the newlyweds and the six mares get funky under a storm of confetti and streamers.)
Pinkie: (from o.s.) —especially once I got a hold of the music!
(Cut to her on the stairs, having taken the first of the five pictures down to smile warmly at it. She hangs it again.)
Pinkie: Oh, look at those happy faces
(Trot partway up the stairs, then hop the rest of the way.)
All the parties that I have thrown
(She puts on a set of Groucho Marx glasses with a big red nose attached.)
I made them laugh, had such a blast
(Her reflection appears on a trio of balloons, distorted by their shapes.)
A smile that’s all their own
(The glasses come off.)
They loved seeing me, the real Pinkie
(Outside; she throws open a set of double doors and steps onto the balcony. The wind toys with her mane/tail.)
Show them the time of their lives like they’ve never known
Like they’ve never known
Same melody/tempo as second verse of Pinkie’s Act One song, with banjo added (D major)
(Inside again; she zips back from the balcony and down the stairs, her old perkiness instantly and fully restored. A polka-dotted bow, pair of sunglasses, and several long balloons are snatched up.)
Pinkie: I’ve got to get back out there, have to show them that I’ve tried
(Suit up, piece by piece, in extreme close-up.)
For there’s only one great party pony, that is Pinkie Pie
(Zoom out. The bow is attached to a gift box that encloses her body, the sunglasses cover her eyes, and she has tied a balloon animal around her forehead. Slices of cheese and bread are dropped onto the counter to make a sandwich, which she proceeds to squash.)
Pinkie: Won’t let Cheese Sandwich beat me, won’t let him get me down
(Outside; she throws the front door open, a few balloons drifting out around her, and does a quick twirl on the step.)
For I am Pinkie, the bestest party pony around
Zoom out as song ends
(Cut to the scene of the ongoing preparations. As various ponies mill about and Cheese—now wearing a ten-gallon hat and holding his clipboard—keeps an eye on things, Derpy Hooves gleefully buries her face in a chocolate fountain. The crowd thins a bit to show Rarity trailing the visitor, followed by Applejack during the next line. Boneless rests on Cheese’s back, now wearing a miniature copy of his headwear.)
Rarity: I must say, I marvel at your superior party-planning expertise, Cheese Sandwich. (Giggle.)
Applejack: Well, they don’t call him the super-duper party planner for nothin’.
(Zoom in quickly past them and stop on a side street, where Pinkie has been unobtrusively eyeing these developments—or at least as unobtrusively as she can manage, given her outfit. She steps into the clear, now wearing swim fins on all her hooves, and gets her dander up.)
Pinkie: That’s it! (Sit on haunches; prop shades on forehead.) This pony has gotta get her title back! (close-up; smiling fiercely) And I know just what to do.
(The view fades to black except for her eyes, which do likewise a moment later.)
(Fade in to a hovering Rainbow, seen through the translucent housing of a lightning-bolt party light hung up on a wire.)
Rainbow: Totally awesome!
(Zoom out quickly to a long shot of the area as she says this. Spike and all six mares, save Pinkie, are gathered in the area around the stage. Balloons, hanging decorations, lights small and large, fully dressed stage. Applejack is examining a spotlight set up on the ground; when she switches it on, it emits a rainbow skyward.)
Applejack: Huh.
(Cut to the clouds; the beam has projected a new one, from which a full-spectrum lightning bolt is issuing.)
Applejack: (from o.s.) Best I’ve ever seen. (Back to her; Twilight walks past.)
Twilight: I can’t believe it!
(As the voices of others cut in, murmuring various approvals, cut to Cheese standing on an elevated platform and taking a bow. He has ditched the clipboard and donned a beret, as has Boneless on the edge, and a chisel rests on top of the latter. Something large and translucent protrudes partly into view at his level, and the camera cuts to frame all of it: a giant ice sculpture of Rainbow’s cutie mark. Fluttershy, Rainbow, Rarity, and Spike are taking in the sight; their admiration ends on the next two words as if slashed off with a buzzsaw.)
Pinkie: (from o.s.) Freeze, Cheese!
(Fluttershy, Rarity, and Spike lean away from each other to find the pink pony now standing right behind them. She has shed her silly getup.)
Pinkie: I challenge you…to a goof-off!
(In a zigzagging six-way split-screen view, the others draw in a stunned gasp in unison.)
Fluttershy: Oh, no! Not a goof-off! (Her panel expands to fill the screen; she is hunkered down, Applejack standing over her. Each whispers her next line.)
Applejack: What’s a goof-off?
Fluttershy: I have no idea. (Chuckle; cut to Cheese, no longer wearing his beret.)
Cheese: (warningly, donning a fez) This Cheese has stood alone a long time, Pinkie Pie.
(Zoom out at ground level until the camera has backed up between her legs.)
Cheese: You think you can out-goof me?
(It now tracks quickly around the pair in a semicircle to reverse their positions.)
Pinkie: Oh, I don’t think so. I know so! (Cut to point straight up at their faces as they lean toward each other.) And the stakes are high, Cheese Sandwich. Whoever wins will be dubbed the ultimate super-duper party pony— (Overhead shot of the area; her voice reverberates in the air.) —and headline the Rainbow Dash birth-iversary bash! (Ground level.)
Twilight: And the loser? (Zoom in on Pinkie’s face.)
Pinkie: Doesn’t!
(Rainbow is first to gasp in shock, followed by the rest of the spectators, but Cheese is completely unfazed as his rival leans smugly toward him. Boneless lies flopped across his back, now clad in a tiny fez to match his.)
Pinkie: So… (poking at his chest) …are you in, Cheese, or are you boneless? (That hits a nerve or three.)
Cheese: Nopony calls me boneless. (She stalks off; he addresses the rubber toy.) Right, Boneless? (No reaction.)
Pinkie: Then the goof-off is on for high noon.
Twilight: (from o.s.) Um, Pinkie? (Cut to her, gesturing at the clock tower.) It’s already three o’clock.
Pinkie: Oh! Oh, well, then. Make it three-ten… (leaning in to glare at Cheese) …to goof-off!
(In a dissolve, their mutual grimace gives way to a close-up of the clock face. A hawk’s keening cry pierces the still air as the minute hand clicks ahead, and the camera cuts to a ground-level shot of Pinkie’s steadily advancing hooves. All four of them sport yellow-toed, blue-green cowboy boots with white stars and trim, and the spurs jingle with every step. A cut to Cheese’s hooves reveals a slightly stranger choice of hoofwear: mismatched, squeaky elephant-head slippers in front, mismatched argyle socks in back. Ponies watch in silent trepidation as Pinkie’s head advances past them, covered by a giant ten-gallon hat with an arrow stuck through it. For his part, Cheese has donned a red/white fur hat whose ear flaps are down, with a bright purple fish riding on top of his head. Boneless is no longer on his back.)
(Pinkie lifts her head slightly to expose her face, with its narrowed blue eyes and a party favor jammed in the corner of her mouth like a cigar. She lets a lungful of air go through it just before Twilight trots to the center of the street; the two duelists stand the same distance away from her in opposite directions, and Pinkie spits the favor to one side.)
Twilight: All right, everypony. (floating a book up, opening it) According to my official Goof-Off Rulebook… (Cut to the sidelines.)
Rainbow: (to Spike) She actually has a Goof-Off Rulebook?
Spike: (nudging her) Are you kidding? Twilight can find a rulebook for everything!
Matilda: Shhh!
(Being the long-lost love of Cranky Doodle Donkey in “A Friend in Deed.”)
Twilight: (reading) “…the two competitors have free range to goof about, be it by singing, dancing, playing, prancing, joking, or performing, to make the judge chortle, chuckle, giggle, guffaw, hoot and holler, whoop it up, and party down.”
(She addresses herself toward each pony in turn during the first half of this. On the second half, the camera cuts away from her, alternating twice between Pinkie and Cheese. They aim a series of increasingly goofy faces at each other, culminating with Cheese sticking his tongue out. Standing on the end is a white mouse, which blows a quick fanfare on the baritone horn it holds; it then jumps off and marches past Twilight.)
Twilight: “The funnier, sillier, wilder, and goofier, the better.” (She closes the book and addresses herself o.s.) Rainbow Dash… (The pegasus steps up.) …since the winner will be headlining your party, you are the judge.
(Rainbow’s vaunted brashness goes bye-bye; she cringes and gets out a very unnerved chuckle.)
Rainbow: Big tense competition on my birth-iversary. What could be better?
(Here come a big pained grin; now Twilight glances toward each in turn as she continues.)
Twilight: Cheese Sandwich? Pinkie Pie? Are you ready? (Zoom in on Pinkie.)
Pinkie: (stomping a front hoof) I was born ready! (Her perspective of the other three; zoom in on Cheese as he speaks.)
Cheese: I was ready before I was born!
(Long overhead shot of the street.)
Twilight: Then… (hovering) …let the goofing begin!
(She flies away, and the combatants advance slowly toward each other—Pinkie hopping, Cheese walking—as the camera zooms in slowly. The stallion breaks the tension by rushing to center stage with his accordion and dancing up a storm.)
Lively polka band melody, very fast 4 (D minor, shifting to B flat major)
Mandolin/bass/drums on Pinkie’s segments
Accordion/tuba/drums with occasional flute/clarinet on Cheese’s
(He is quite surprised when Pinkie leans in front of Rainbow, cutting off his advance. She has put on a curly black mustache, shed her boots, and switched her ten-gallon hat for a beanie with a propeller on top. It takes her all of an instant to balance on a ball and start juggling cupcakes.)
Pinkie: It’s your birthday party, a very special day
I’ve got a song, it won’t take long, I just wanted to say
(throwing cupcakes into Rainbow’s mouth; she scarfs them down)
Happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy
(Pinkie gets off the ball and put a hoof across her friend’s shoulders, pulling off the mustache and twirling it.)
Happy, happy, happy, happy birthday to you
(It becomes a rainbow-frosted cupcake topped with a likeness of Cheese’s head.)
G major
(Cut to a close-up of her rival goofball, playing merrily away and dancing atop some large rolling object; he has ditched his silly accessories. A zoom out frames this as a colossal wheel of Swiss cheese, which rumbles neatly between the two mares, and he jumps down without his instrument and trots in place. Pinkie has stripped off her beanie and is looking quite out of sorts now.)
Cheese: If you want to be the life of the party
(wrapping forelegs around himself several times)
But you’re feeling just a little uptight
(He zips away, then back on Rainbow’s other side to stretch her cheeks in various directions.)
Call the doctor, beg and plead, “Doctor, tell me what I need”
(Leap away; now he dances on his hind legs, which have hunks of cheese shoved onto them.)
Try to put a little Cheese in your knees
C major
(A chomp out of each piece of dairy hoofwear is followed by a lively dance around Rainbow, who finds her midsection being caught by a giant fishhook that reels her into the sky. She winds up face to face with Pinkie, riding in a hot-air balloon basket held up by a mass of helium balloons and working a fishing rod. Soap bubbles float up from the rig.)
D major
Pinkie: Bubbles and balloons, bubbles and balloons
(Close-up; the bubbles carry rainbow tints.)
What’s a birthday party without bubbles and balloons?
(Balloons tied into the next two shapes float up for Rainbow’s enjoyment.)
Star-shaped or trapezoid, look what I can do
(She dips a wand into a jar of solution and produces a pegasus-shaped conglomeration of bubbles with a light blue tinge.)
Only Pinkie Pie could make a bubble shaped like you
(Rainbow is now thoroughly enjoying herself, hovering near the town hall’s third-floor balcony, but Cheese zips up here to yank her away. The floating effigy pops, piece by piece, and he flops about like a fish in a rowboat, having removed the cheese from his rear hooves.)
F major
Cheese: Just let yourself go floppy, for now this is your chance
(He grabs her forelegs in his, and both wobble around on the balcony.)
Pretend you have no bones and do the rubber-chicken dance
(He jumps back, landing on his haunches.)
Cheese: (gesturing to one side) HIT IT, BONELESS!!
(Pan quickly to a live-action shot of a puppet Boneless lying on a stage in front of a curtain. It leaps to its feet and gambols about for a few moments, after which the camera pans quickly to a slightly puzzled Rainbow. Turning toward the balcony railing, she finds Pinkie bouncing up to her level with the help of a trampoline. They have shifted to the second-floor balcony now.)
B flat major
Pinkie: Cooler than a rubber chicken and tastier than cake
(Both drop to ground level.)
Come on, you, let’s party down and do the Gummy shake
(The camera pans quickly to follow her gesture and stops on a live-action shot of a small alligator on a log. It, like Gummy, shows no visible reaction to anything going on around it.)
Pinkie: (from o.s.) Hit it, Gummy! Uh-huh! You know it! Shake it!
(Quick pan back to Rainbow, who grins widely before Cheese plops a Swiss wedge on her head and whisks her away to sit on a rolling parade float made of this stuff. In her grip he places a scepter topped with a cheese wheel that has had a wedge cut out.)
Polka rendition of the chorus to Pinkie’s song in “A Friend in Deed” (G major)
Cheese: ’Cause I like to make you smile, smile, smile, yes I do
(He bounces most of the way down a staircase built into the front end.)
It fills my heart with sunshine all the while, yes it does
’Cause all I really need’s a smile, smile, smile
From these happy friends of mine
(His stomp causes two panels to open, one on either side of him, and up come a pair of cows wearing Rainbow masks. A portion of the stairs flips upward to expose an irate Pinkie underneath.)
Pinkie: That’s my song! (One cow’s mask falls off.)
Cheese: What do you mean? (laughing nervously) I have no idea what you’re talking about. (She jumps out to stare him down.)
Pinkie: THAT’S IT!
(One quick reach o.s. allows her to wheel her party cannon up and aim it directly at him.)
C major
Pinkie: Roll out the party cannon
(It fires confetti/streamers into his face; next she stuffs herself into the barrel.)
When you hear the party cannon song (Fire, launching her overhead.)
Ka-boom!
(Close-up of Cheese, standing up and wearing a blue army helmet marked with a yellow star. Zoom out to show him standing atop a huge red/blue tank decorated with yellow stars and fireworks; it dwarfs Pinkie’s figure and has a purple gun barrel.)
Next three lines transition from singing to speaking in rhythm
Cheese: Why should you compromise? Try this one on for size
(The barrel extends, and Rainbow—now airborne and without the cheese hat and scepter—finds herself staring directly into its muzzle.)
’Cause nothing quite says “cheer” like the ringing in your ear
(She barely has time for one terrified grimace before it goes off, blasting her backward amid a volley of decorations and a few seagulls.)
Of the Cheese Supreme Cannonball Surprise
B major
(Close-up of Pinkie, dancing on her hind legs atop the upper reaches of some slowly advancing tiered structure in red and orange. A longer shot frames it as a gargantuan cake-shaped piñata with eight tiers, matching the colors of Rainbow’s mane and with two more hues thrown in for good measure. It is being lowered into place by a construction crane, and she has fetched up directly beneath it.)
Pinkie: Dale, dale, dale, no pierdas el tino
Porque si lo pierdes, pierdes el camino
[“Hit it, hit it, hit it, don’t lose the knack/Because if you lose it, you lose the way.”]
(When a passing gull perches on the uppermost tier, the added weight causes the hoisting rope to pull free and send the whole structure plummeting to earth. Again the birthday mare has only time for one panicked look before the whole thing comes down on her head. The seven upper tiers crush themselves into the lowest one; Pinkie is thrown clear, while Rainbow ends up with the rear half of her body pinned under the wreck. Confetti and streamers rain down around the disaster area.)
Song ends abruptly
(Cut to Rainbow, who scowls and tries without success to pull herself loose. As she does, the camera zooms out to put Pinkie in the fore, watching her, then cuts to a close-up of the flabbergasted pink face. Zoom in to an extreme close-up of the eyes; a brief rainbow flare washes over them, just as it did with Rarity and Rainbow in “Rarity Takes Manehattan” and “Rainbow Falls,” respectively. Blinking it away, she comes to herself with a long gasp.)
Pinkie: Rainbow’s not having the best party ever! I…I broke the Pinkie Party Promise!
(At the scene, Cheese has donned a tuxedo jacket, dress shirt, and red bow tie and is about to give a seal its cue to start blowing into a long, convoluted brass horn. He has put away his army helmet.)
Pinkie: STOOOOOP!! The goof-off is off!
(Not a single spectator can believe his/her ears, judging from the disbelieving stares and confused mutterings. Cut to Rainbow, now extricated and upright.)
Rainbow: But I haven’t named a winner. (She sits on her haunches; Pinkie crosses to her.)
Pinkie: You don’t have to. I forfeit. (Cheese joins them.) Which means…Cheese Sandwich wins.
(He laughs exultantly for a moment, then cuts himself off, suddenly very puzzled.)
Cheese: I do? (Pinkie sits next to Rainbow.)
Pinkie: (performing gestures for a Pinkie promise) Yes. You get to headline Rainbow Dash’s party.
Twilight: (from o.s.) But… (Pan slightly to frame her walking over.) …what about you, Pinkie?
Pinkie: (tearing up, sniffling) I…I don’t.
(Her ears droop dejectedly downward as one tear drops free. Fade to black.)
Act Three
(Opening shot: fade in to a close-up of the upper reaches of a jumbled mass of luggage outside. A trombone is tossed on top of the pile; zoom out to show the lot stacked on top of the balloon-marked welcome wagon she set up for Cranky in “A Friend in Deed.” Pinike has hitched herself to its front end with a long rope, and a second one connects her party cannon to the rear end so she can tow it along. As the heartbroken mare starts to trudge ahead, the other five hurry to the scene.)
Rainbow: Pinkie, wait! (All hurry ahead; she cuts Pinkie off.) I’m sorry I got all swept away by Cheese Sandwich. (Twilight peeks out from behind the rear.)
Twilight: We all are.
(The other four follow her lead, voicing similar sentiments, and Spike steps in from the side with a heavy sigh.)
Spike: Sorry, Pinkie.
Pinkie: No, I’m sorry I let my pride get in the way of you having the best birth-iversary ever.
(On the end of this, pan/tilt up from her to frame Rainbow hovering above and taken aback at this statement. The camera then cuts to an overhead shot and zooms out to frame the others gathering around as she continues, smiling.)
Pinkie: Cheese Sandwich really is a super-duper party planner, and he’ll be a terrific headliner. I should’ve been a big enough pony to admit that— (starting ahead) —and let you have your day.
(Rainbow, now really floored, zooms ahead to stop her again and ends up looking at her upside down.)
Rainbow: But don’t you get it? (Pinkie’s perspective of her.) You’re both super-duper party ponies. (She pulls away; cut to her, now upright and smirking a bit.) Sure, Cheese Sandwich is a great guest party pony… (Swoop down to Pinkie.) …but you’re Ponyville’s permanent party pony. (She delivers an airborne hug.) Nopony could ever take your place.
(The others gather around, the camera zooming out to frame them all. Pinkie has untied herself from the wagon.)
Rainbow: And we could never have a party without you.
(The group hug that follows is broken up by Cheese’s voice.)
Cheese: (from o.s.) Rainbow Dash is right.
(Cut to him, back in his yellow shirt and wearing the flat-crowned hat he sported in the prologue. He pulls this off and holds it over his heart while walking closer.)
Cheese: I never meant to take your place in Ponyville. I just wanted to show you what a great party pony I am, Pinkie.
Pinkie: Why me?
Cheese: (smiling, rolling his eyes) Well…
Quiet, simple clarinet/piano/string chord melody, slow 4 (D major)
Cheese: I fear I told a little fib about my pony past
(circling behind to her other side, gently closing her gaping mouth)
I hope that when you hear the truth, you will not be aghast
(A wavering dissolve shifts the view to a close-up of his bespectacled younger self, peeking out fearfully from behind a building.)
Cheese: I wasn’t quite the super party pony like I claimed
(Zoom out slowly; he waves hopefully to some foals, but they gallop past without slowing or acknowledging him. This is a street corner, and he glumly eases a small bundle onto his back and plods off.)
The fact is that I was so shy, nopony knew my name
(His spirits in his hooves, he slowly climbs a hill outside Manehattan proper.)
Light-hearted feel, faster 4
(A party hat lying in the path causes him to lose his balance and tumble ahead o.s.; other hats are flung back into view in time with his crash.)
Cheese: I stumbled into Ponyville one afternoon by chance
(He finds himself in a pile of the things, wearing one and spitting out several others jammed in his mouth, at the heart of a lively party. The bundle has fallen off his back.)
And found the biggest ever celebration party dance
C major
(Berry Punch switches his hat for a jester’s cap and bells, and a young Cheerilee gives him a grilled cheese sandwich before two other party-goers toss him into the air.)
Everything was perfect, cheer was filling up the place
(He smiles, letting his eyes run across the full-tilt merrymaking.)
And I saw that everypony had a smile upon their face
(A rubber chicken sails directly toward the camera, filling the screen, then recedes to bounce off his face; he picks it up and sets it on his back.)
Cheese: I vowed that day to change my life, the past I did set free
(He holds up the sandwich and pulls its halves apart as the camera zooms in. Behind the strings of melted cheese, the background changes to blue sky and full-grown Cheese stands up into view. Pulling out his accordion, he lets one end stretch wildly and arc far and away.)
For now Cheese Sandwich was a party pony full of glee
(Here he comes, sliding down the hyperextended bellows with two fillies close behind, and ends up perched atop his tank with helmet on. It fires off a salvo of fun stuff.)
A super-duper party pony, that’s what I became
(A map of Equestria appears, and grilled cheese sandwiches start popping up all over the place. The center bulges and ruptures due to him bursting through it from behind; the helmet is gone.)
I traveled all Equestria, and all did know my name
Tempo slows on last line, followed by a pause
(Zoom in on the interior of his open mouth and fade to black, then zoom out to frame Pinkie and Cheese in the meadow. The black resolves into the pupil of one of his eyes. He gently rests a foreleg on her shoulders and pulls her in for a hug.)
Slow, gentle feel
Cheese: But that never would have happened on my own, I’ll tell you why
(She aims a wondering glance up at him; cut to his colt self, his vision blocked by the cap and bells. He shifts it up on his head; cut to his perspective of the rubber chicken on the ground.)
For the one who threw that party, it was you, Pinkie Pie
Music pauses
(A tilt up frames her past filly self, mane/tail fully frizzed out after the Sonic Rainboom she witnessed in “The Cutie Mark Chronicles.” She is balanced on a ball and juggling three more of the fake birds.)
Filly Pinkie: (surprised, dropping them) Me?
(Back to Cheese in the present.)
Cheese: Yes! (Pan quickly to her; she gasps happily.)
Pinkie: Really? (To him.)
Cheese: (laughing) Really!
Melody from second verse of Pinkie’s Act One song continues in background (D major)
Pinkie: (hopping around him, leaning in close; he hunkers down) So I was the pony that threw the awesomely spectacular party that inspired you to become an awesome spectacular party thrower?
Cheese: (standing up) Swear on Camembert!
Music quickly winds down as if played on a phonograph record rapidly slowing to a stop
(Rainbow descends in between the pair.)
Rainbow: Enough with the warm fuzzy stuff, you two. It’s my birth-iversary, and you gotta throw me a bash!
Full melody resumes, with banjo
Pinkie: Yeah!
Cheese: Let’s go!
(They put forelegs over each other’s shoulders as the rest of the mares gather behind them, zip away, and return to face each other.)
Pinkie, Cheese: Super-duper party ponies, that is me and you
(Both move through the party site, teeming with helpers and supplies moving in all directions.)
A party thrown by one is good, but not as great as two
(Pinkie tows her party cannon along, and Rainbow swoops down to airlift it and her away as Cheese’s tank rolls past. Mare and artillery are deposited on the turret, next to some new gun barrels that have been added above the main one where Cheese rides.)
Come on and let’s join forces, have twice the expertise
(The tank rumbles over a hill, flanked by plenty of ponies, a huge Rainbow parade balloon, and Pinkie and Cheese riding in the basket she used during the goof-off. An accordion balloon has been added to this rig.)
Now let’s all go to the party planned by Pinkie Pie and Cheese
(Tilt up into the sky as they let fly with confetti and streamers.)
Song ends
(Day dissolves into starry night, the sounds of a jubilant crowd asserting itself, and the camera tilts down to the packed site.)
Thumping dance beat, with mandolin sneaking in; fast 4 (E flat major)
(Cheese, wearing sunglasses and no shirt, and several guests are lounging in the high-dive punchbowl that figured in his Act One song. Elsewhere, a filly is riding on the hippo from that same performance, a roller coaster thunders over a hill, and the tank lets go with a burst of confetti, streamers, and a very confused seagull. The stage has been modified in one noticeable way: Pinkie’s original banner from Act One is strung up along with Cheese’s fancier one. Cheers all around; a spotlight hits the stage, and Cheese puts his head out through the closed curtain. He has ditched the shades and put on a top hat and large blue bow tie along with his yellow shirt, and is holding a microphone. The next three lines are amplified.)
Cheese: (laughing) All right, everypony. (emerging) We are here to celebrate the birthday— (Pinkie zips up, wearing an identical hat and tie.)
Pinkie: —and anniversary—
Pinkie, Cheese: —of Rainbow Dash!
(On this last, the camera and spotlights tilt up to follow a large gift box rising into the air behind them. At the peak of its motion, it bursts open in a shower of confetti/streamers to reveal Rainbow, now wearing a party hat.)
Rainbow: Hey, everypony! Who’s ready to get their party on? Hit it!
Bass in
(Tilt down quickly to ground level, where a sea of forelegs is raised, then cut to Pinkie alone on the stage.)
Pinkie: Get your hooves up, party’s starting out right, now
(Cheese rides his giant Swiss cheese wheel through the crowd, balancing a cane on his nose as he passes Rainbow and Rarity.)
Everypony, everypony get down
(It rolls past the camera; behind it, wipe to a close-up of the pegasus blowing out one candle on top of a cake. A zoom out reveals it as a towering six-tier job, and she flies down in a tight circle to get all the other candles. The bottom tier bears her cutie mark.)
Time to make a wish, better make it right, now
It’s been a year and today is your birthday party
(She zooms past the camera; behind her, wipe to the two master planners stepping up to the mic. Cheese wastes no time in firing up his accordion.)
Pinkie: Make a wish, it’s your birthday
(A blindfolded Rainbow demolishes a cutie-mark piñata with one swing of a club, to the delight of the Crusaders and other fillies.)
Make a wish, it’s your birthday party
(The blue speedster chomps her way across a giant pizza garnished with cupcakes; Pinkie and Cheese get a bite or two of their own. Next Twilight, Applejack, Pinkie, and Rarity dance onstage; Pinkie now has removed her bow tie.)
Make a wish, it’s your birthday
(The punchbowl; Pinkie pops up, wearing only swim goggles, as Rainbow floats by on a donut inner tube, sipping on a straw dipped into the liquid, and Cheese and Boneless chill out. All but Pinkie wear nothing but sunglasses. Next, Rainbow’s friends latch their teeth onto the edges of a sheet on which she is lying and flip her skyward. Pinkie and Rainbow have ditched their swim accessories.)
Make a wish, it’s your birthday party
(The last toss is seen from overhead, and her face fills the screen as she sails up. The sheet can now be seen as a rejected version of the one Pinkie made. Fade to black, then in to a pan across the stage and surrounding area; Twilight, Applejack, Pinkie, and Rarity are dancing for the crowd, the pink mare back in her top hat and bow tie. A cut to a tree some distance away discloses the whereabouts of Cheese—sitting at its base, clad in his yellow shirt, and munching contentedly on a cupcake. Rainbow flies over to him, once again wearing her party hat; he stands up to face her.)
Music becomes softer, as if heard from a distance, and slowly fades away
Rainbow: Cheese Sandwich! Oh, I gotta tell you—you and Pinkie have totally made this the best birthday/anniversary super combo ever! (Confetti/streamers fly around her; she laughs as he steps a bit closer.) It’s totally—
Cheese: (nudging her) —epic?
Rainbow: (nodding) Yeah, it is!
(He produces his flat-crowned hat and settles it on his head.)
Cheese: (stepping ahead, calmly) That’s all I needed to hear, little filly.
(Cut to a close-up of the six mares’ shared journal, seen from behind its open covers. Pinkie is hunched down on the grass with it, having shucked off her party duds, and the camera tilts up to frame the pencil in her teeth as she writes a line or two before pausing to think. A longer shot shows her sitting next to the stage; her rumination is interrupted when a wooden case slides into view toward her.)
Cheese: (from o.s.) Just a little memento of my visit.
(As soon as the lid flips open, an intense yellow light pours out that forces her to shield her eyes. Once she can look down at the source, a cut to her perspective and slow pan picks it out as Boneless, a gleam of rainbow light passing from head to legs as happened with Rarity’s spool of thread and Rainbow’s Wonderbolt pin in the past. It has been stripped of the shades it wore in the punchbowl.)
Pinkie: You’re giving me your special rubber-chicken friend?
(Cut to its owner, now sporting his hat and the poncho/saddle from the prologue.)
Cheese: (smiling) Oh, he’s not the only one.
(And he proves it by instantly setting another one on the saddle, seen in extreme close-up. This one is marked with a large number 2 and wears a cowboy hat instead of a bowler. Zoom out to frame all of him. Now he adopts the rough-edged tone he first used.)
Cheese: (walking off) Well, Boneless Two… (Cut to him now well out of town.) …another job well done. But it’s time we mosey along. (heading toward the setting sun) Another town, another party.
(As a hawk’s faint cry drifts over the landscape, the six mares gather on the road to stare after him. Rainbow is still wearing her party hat, and Pinkie now has Boneless balanced on her head and is carrying the journal.)
Pinkie: I never did get that pony’s name.
Other five: CHEESE SANDWICH!
(She cringes under the combined force of their response, but stands up with a giggle.)
Pinkie: Oh, yeah.
(“Iris out” to black, centered on her. When only her head is still in view, the transition pauses briefly as she glances up at the pliable pullet resting on her mane, then finishes to black out the screen.)
(The usual closing theme does not accompany the credits. In its place is an instrumental version of the first two verses from the song Pinkie and Cheese sang during their goof-off, ending with “Shave and a Haircut.”)
SIMPLE WAYS
Written by Josh Haber
Produced by Sarah Wall, Devon Cody
Story editing by Meghan McCarthy
Supervising direction by Jayson Thiessen
Co-directed by Jim Miller
Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)
Prologue
(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of the town square during the day, with a considerable crowd gathered outside the town hall. Rainbow Dash flies down toward the gathering; cut to one bridge over the nearby stream, where her five friends are on the way in as she swoops to them.)
Rainbow: Wow! I can’t believe how many ponies showed up!
(During this line, the camera pans/zooms out to put them o.s. and frame the growing throng.)
Pinkie Pie: (from o.s.) I can! I mean—
(Overhead shot of the square; the group is at the back of the audience, and a lectern and a table with three chairs are set up in front of the steps. Mayor Mare walks toward the former, and three elderly citizens—one of whom is Granny Smith—are on the steps. Tilt slowly toward these four.)
Pinkie: —finding out who the Ponyville Days pony of ceremonies is, is a pretty big deal!
(Close-up of Mayor Mare, then pan to the table where the trio have taken their seats.)
Twilight Sparkle: (from o.s.) I didn’t know Granny Smith was on the selection committee. (Cut to her and Fluttershy on the end of this, then zoom out to frame Applejack alongside.)
Applejack: Of course she is.
(Head-on view of Mayor Mare and the three-pony committee. As Applejack continues, zoom in on Granny’s end of the table; a filly walks up, holding the string of a balloon in her teeth, and gets a pat on the head.)
Applejack: (from o.s.) Ponyville Days celebrates the founding of Ponyville, and she was right there. (Back to the group, now in the front row; Bulk Biceps stands nearby.)
Pinkie: (rapid fire; zoom in on her/Rarity as she speaks) I’m glad the committee didn’t automatically pick me so everypony gets a chance to see how great being me actually is. Even though the festival is basically a party and the pony of ceremonies gets to organize the whole thing, so it would totally make sense if they did pick me.
(By the time she finally stops, both Applejack and Rarity are shooting her dirty looks. A zoom out reveals that the feeling is shared by all the ponies in her immediate vicinity.)
Bulk: Shhh!
(There comes the sound of a microphone being tapped, then a brief whine of feedback.)
Mayor Mare: (from o.s.) Citizens of Ponyville! (Cut to her.) This year’s applicants were all exceptional—
(Cut to a pan through a group of them: clown; medieval knights; Derpy Hooves; a science nerd wearing a helmet sporting a model solar system, magnifying glass, and microscope; and a cadet from the Wonderbolts Academy.)
Mayor Mare: (from o.s.) —but there can only be one Ponyville Days pony of ceremonies. (Back to her.) And that pony is…
(At her glance toward the committee, the camera focus shifts to them. A brief round of whispers and nods is followed by the biggest gasp Pinkie has ever sucked in over the course of the series. She pulls in so much air, in fact, that her entire head inflates to ludicrous size and floats up like a balloon, taking the rest of her with it. Back to the lectern; Granny totters up, a note in her mouth, and sets it in position for Mayor Mare to read. The blue eyes behind the half-moon glasses pop in surprise, but this quickly gives way to a smile.)
Mayor Mare: …Rarity!
(Cut to a long shot of her among the crowd and zoom in quickly to their cheers.)
Applejack: Hoo-wee! (now o.s.) All right, Rarity! (She clasps hooves with Carrot Top.)
Rainbow: (from o.s.) Yeah!
(Whoop/laugh; now Amethyst Star gives Rarity a bouquet of roses, and the camera zooms out to frame Twilight crossing to her.)
Twilight: Congratulations, Rarity. Do you know what you’re gonna do?
(The unicorn’s blue eyes glance shrewdly toward the sound of something being wheeled in—a large and detailed scale model of the town pushed by a sweaty, grunting Spike, with red banners strung from the town hall roof. Cut to ground level within the assembly, the camera pointing up toward these as she and Twilight lean into view over them.)
Rarity: (innocently) Oh, I might have a few ideas.
(There is the faintest hint of smugness in the smile she gives Twilight, who returns a humoring one of her own. Fade to black.)
OPENING THEME
Act One
(Opening shot: fade in to the exterior of the Carousel Boutique. Zoom in slowly and dissolve to the ground-floor showroom, where a short runway has been set up. An easel and phonograph stand at its far end, in front of a closed curtain, and Rarity’s friends are gathered at the near one. Pinkie hops excitedly in place for a few moments, then freezes with only her front hooves in contact with the floor. Her head has returned to its normal dimensions.)
Pinkie: (jittering hooves madly) I’m so excited for the festival, I can hardly stand up straight!
(And she promptly topples forward, smacking her face into the floor and earning a disgusted eye roll from Rainbow.)
Twilight: Me too. I’m glad Rarity was picked. I know she’ll add a touch of elegance to the whole thing.
Applejack: Prob’ly more than a touch.
(The lights in the showroom come down, and the footlights placed along the runway’s end flick on as Pinkie stands up. Spike steps out from behind the curtain, sporting a dark blue-gray blazer, white shirt, and polka-dotted bow tie, and cranks up the phonograph. Clearing his throat and straightening his tie, he turns to face the audience; a subdued classical waltz begins and an overhead spotlight picks him out, now standing by the easel. He brings out a set of note cards and glances at them occasionally while speaking.)
Spike: This year’s Ponyville Days Festival, designed by Rarity, will feature various high-class events such as…
(The blank cover page is flipped backward to expose a charcoal sketch of a well-dressed earth pony stallion and mare sampling drinks. A pyramid of glasses and a punchbowl are laid out behind them. Close-up of the picture.)
Spike: (from o.s.) …a silent cider auction and tasting.
Other mares: (from o.s.) Ooooh…
(Page turn; here is a sketch of couples dancing near a fountain next to the town hall, beneath strings of hanging lights.)
Spike: (from o.s.) A Ponyville gala in Town Square.
Other mares: (from o.s.) Ahhhh…
(Page turn: this sketch presents several mares walking a runway and showing off their classy outfits for a densely packed crowd.)
Spike: (from o.s.) And, of course, a Ponyville fashion show.
Other five: (from o.s.) Ooooh… (Cut to him.)
Spike: This year’s Ponyville Days Festival pony of ceremonies creates shimmering couture of her own designs.
(Pan to the spotlit curtain on the end of this; it opens to reveal Rarity, clad in an ornate light blue gown whose sash is liberally studded with gemstones. The necklace barely visible behind a ruffled neckline, and the rings in her ears and on her horn, are similarly accented.)
Rarity: (dramatically, stepping along runway) And the theme is… (emphasizing every word) “Small-Town Chic”! (Demure, winning smile; the record ends.)
Twilight: Wow, Rarity! You really have put a lot of effort into this.
Applejack: I’ll say.
Fluttershy: Oh, I think it’s going to be magical.
Rarity: (flustered; voice catches) Do you really think so? (Pinkie bounces up to runway height.)
Pinkie: Are you kidding? I can’t wait! (Down again; now Rarity smiles, reassured.)
Rarity: Oh, that’s such a relief.
(Spike wheels a set of steps up to the edge.)
Rarity: But of course, I couldn’t possibly do it all on my own. (The room lights come up; she descends and crosses the floor, suddenly panicked.) The festival is in three days!
Rainbow: Pinkie Pie and I can hang lights and decorations in the town square.
Applejack: And I can get Sweet Apple Acres all ready for the cider tastin’. (Rarity turns back to them with a gasp and smile.)
Rarity: Oh, that’s just perfect! And now, Twilight, if you and Fluttershy wouldn’t mind helping with the fashion show…
Twilight: Of course!
Fluttershy: I’d be honored.
Rarity: (turning away from them) …I can focus on the thing I’m worried about most of all.
Other mares: What? (She wheels back once more.)
Rarity: (with mounting fervor) Creating a Ponyville Days Festival fantastic enough to impress… (Deep breath.) …Trenderhoof!
(A pan across the rest of the bunch points up their total lack of recognition at this name. Stop on Applejack and Fluttershy trading a look as if to say, “Okay, which one of us has to bite the bullet here?” The blond mare takes the risk by speaking up first.)
Applejack: Uh, who’s Trenderhoof?
Rarity: (offended) What?! (trotting across floor) How can you not know who Trenderhoof is?
(Cut to an expanse of purple curtain. As she continues, it rises under her control to show the group on the other side and the camera shifts to frame the fitting room it had blocked off: The back wall is plastered with assorted pictures and silhouettes of a brown, blue-eyed unicorn stallion with a two-tone blond mane. He wears a green sweater with orange trim at cuffs and collar, as well as white-framed “hipster” eyeglasses and a small patch of beard stubble on his chin. The hearts that adorn some of the silhouettes, and the items strewn about the table under the pictures—including a lock of mane hair and the tablecloth with his picture and a couple of heart-headed arrows pointing at it—tell just how infatuated she is with this stallion. A few other items, such as ticket stubs and a badge on a lanyard, are stuck on the wall among the pictures.)
Rarity: Trenderhoof is only the most amazing, handsomest travel writer to have ever traveled or written! (Gasp; cut to a slow rove across the display. She continues o.s.) Before Las Pegasus became an Equestria travel destination, he wrote about it. Before the culinary revolution in Trottingham, he discovered it! (Another gasp; back to her and Twilight. She levitates a poster over into her grip.) He knows what’s going to be hot even before it’s tepid!
(Cradling the sheet, she makes a tiny funny giddy noise in the back of her throat and turns it into a giggle.)
Twilight: (nudging her, teasingly) Sounds like somepony has a little bit of a crush. (Rarity floats the poster away.)
Rarity: Oh, Twilight… (She falls back and is caught by the latter.) …“crush” doesn’t even begin to describe it. (Stand up; pinch Twilight’s cheeks.) He’s practically divine. (twirling in place) I can’t believe he’s coming!
(Now on the edge of a hyperventilation fit, she pulls a different picture off the wall and gazes at it while laughing and muttering inarticulately. Pan from her to frame five perplexed mares, who let their eyes tell each other just how strange they all think this is, and one smiling baby dragon who is either oblivious or cares not a whit.)
(Dissolve to a stretch of railroad tracks and pan to follow a train as it rolls up to the Ponyville station. Twilight and Rarity are waiting on the platform, but are soon lost from sight behind the clouds of steam that billow out as the train comes to a stop. The view soon clears thanks to a paper fan being magically waved by Rarity, who has shed her entire formal ensemble.)
Rarity: Thank you ever so much for joining me, Twilight. (putting fan away) I don’t think I could have met Trenderhoof on my own.
Twilight: It’s no problem, but you shouldn’t be nervous about meeting him.
(Within seconds, the passengers are streaming out onto the platform around them. Rarity’s eyes flit from one to another as if she has just downed three gallons of high-octane espresso.)
Rarity: Is that him? Do you see him? Twilight? Is he there?
(Cut to their perspective of the new arrivals, one of whom is Hayseed Turniptruck.)
Twilight: Uhhh… (Quick pan to another group.) …I’m not sure. (Back to the pair, Rarity about to freak out completely.)
Rarity: You don’t suppose he’s decided not to come? Twilight, I don’t see him! What if he doesn’t arrive? (She hunches down, front hooves to head.) The whole festival will be a disaster! (Zoom out slightly; others are now watching, and she sits up.) TWILIGHT, WHERE IS HE?!?
(Cut to an overhead shot of the platform, showing that every stallion, mare, and foal on it has begun to stare directly at the incipient meltdown. There is no sound following her outburst except the singing tone of escaping steam from the engine; after a very long and uncomfortable pause, Rarity clears her throat.)
Rarity: Sorry. (Cut to her and Twilight.)
Twilight: Rarity, you have to get a hold of yourself. I mean, you haven’t even met him yet.
(Ground level, at the platform’s edge. Four long brown legs step out, the front two covered by orange-trimmed sweater sleeves marked with argyle patches up near the shoulders, and the camera zooms out to frame Trenderhoof from the neck down. He is tall and slender, with an argyle-pattern cutie mark and a comb in his sweater pocket, and his tail is cut short. A tilt up brings his head into view; with his face turned back toward the train, he opens his eyes and aims a smiling sidewise glance toward the station. While Twilight looks straight toward him, Rarity snaps her head up and lets her eyes constrict almost to points for a moment. They dilate again and her mouth falls slightly open as hearts rise and burst in the air around her, the ambient light dimming itself. Cut to Trenderhoof, who flashes a toothy grin as the same effects play out around him and the camera zooms in slightly, then back to the pair. Reality has reasserted itself in the surroundings at this point, and Rarity pulls in a few bushels of air and dives to huddle behind Twilight, clutching at the violet legs.)
Twilight: What’s wrong?
Rarity: (whispering, excitedly) Shhh! It’s him, it’s him, it’s him, is it…him, it’s him…him, it’s him, he’s here, he’s here! (She pulls Twilight’s tail down to cover her head on the end of this.)
Twilight: Well, go up and talk to him!
Rarity: (grabbing more tightly, barely choking out the words) I can’t!
(The Princess throws her a hard glare and kick-starts her horn. Cut to Trenderhoof, who now has his comb in his teeth and is returning it to his pocket; Rarity is magically shoved across to him, her hooves squealing on the planks. Once the spell dies out, she lets out a very nervous giggle and rubs one foreleg against the other.)
Rarity: Um, hi— (catching herself, clearing her throat) —hello, Mr. Trenderhoof. I am Rarity, and I have been chosen as pony of ceremonies for the Ponyville Days Festival.
(She giggles and blushes a bit. Trenderhoof’s voice carries overtones of the upper-crust “Long Island Lockjaw” accent, as well as a trace of effeminate character.)
Trenderhoof: Please, call me Trend.
(The blush is joined by a very twitchy eye, and both of these give way to a fainting spell that drops her like a ton of bricks. Twilight, who has seen the whole thing up close and in full detail, puts a disbelieving hoof to her face.)
(Wipe to the town square. As various residents go about their business, Rarity leads Trenderhoof past the town hall.)
Rarity: And over here will be the climax of the festival—the Ponyville Days gala. Music! Dancing! (Chuckle.) And, of course, a locally sourced menu of delicious treats.
Trenderhoof: Reminds me of the “Spring Fling Meets Manehattan” wedding I wrote about in Gallop and Prance.
Rarity: Exactly! I-I can’t even describe how much your work has influenced me.
(Wipe to the pair topping a rise well outside the village proper. Just ahead of them is Sweet Apple Acres.)
Rarity: And finally, Sweet Apple Acres. (They stop.) Ponyville’s core… (laughing) …so to speak—where our quaint little hamlet began. (Pan slowly away from them across the fields.)
Trenderhoof: Oh, breathtaking!
(The movement puts him o.s. on the end of this. From here, cut to the two unicorns walking across the homestead.)
Trenderhoof: I’ve heard about it, of course. But to see it in vérité…to stand on the soil of a working farm! (Close-up; he hunches down to study the dirt he has scratched up.) You can really feel the authenticity.
Rarity: (from o.s.) Oh, yes, uh… (To her.) …they—they really do grow apples here. Trenderhoof: (stepping toward her) Thank you, Rarity. (touching her shoulder) Thank you for bringing me here. This farm is truly something special. (She sighs; both look toward the main barn.)
Rarity: I had planned to transform it into an elegant country inn for the festival… (They turn their eyes warmly to each other.) …but now I see just how special it is au naturel.
Trenderhoof: Au naturel indeed.
(Cut to his mental picture of the unicorn mare, rendered in soft focus and ringed with white. A faint blush comes over her alluringly smiling face as hearts pop around her and the camera zooms in slowly to an extreme close-up. From here, the view cuts to a close-up of Trenderhoof, with normal lighting and focus. He wears a gentle smile of his own, leaning in slightly, but starts with an abrupt grimace of surprise and a sound not far off from a donkey’s bray. His perspective: he looks past Rarity as normal light comes up, the pupils of her eyes briefly going heart-shaped, and his eyes stop on Applejack eyeing a loaded apple tree some distance back. She has set a few empty tubs around its base and is wearing quite a few splotches of dirt all over herself.)
Trenderhoof: Who…is… (Head-on view.) …that?
(Rarity turns her head just in time to see the farmer buck the tree, bringing down enough fruit to fill up the tubs. She wipes her forehead with one dirty hoof, and now the blue eyes behind the hipster glasses pop very wide; hearts burst around his slack-jawed expression, which rings itself in white and goes into soft focus. Cut to his perspective again; Rarity moves to block his view of Applejack, but his focus stays on the background.)
Rarity: Who? Applejack?
(Trenderhoof eases her aside just before Applejack bucks the tree again; back to his stunned countenance, then cut to a soft-focus shot of the earth pony. In slow motion, apples tumble down around her and she whips her head from side to side to throw off sweat. She ends with the ponytail of her mane draped fetchingly over one shoulder and a come-hither look in the green eyes. Back to the two unicorns, both seen normally; the clearing of the mare’s throat does nothing to snap the smitten stallion out of his reverie.)
Rarity: Why are you staring at her like that?
Trenderhoof: (walking slowly past her) I’ve seen a lot in my travels, but I’ve never beheld such beauty!
(Soft-focus close-up of Applejack, holding up a bitten apple and wiping juice from her mouth.)
Trenderhoof: (from o.s., dreamily) Applejack… (Back to him and Rarity.) …the pony of my dreams.
(Zoom in slowly past him to the thunderstruck white mare, whose eyes and ears droop in unfathomable disappointment, then snap to black.)
Act Two
(Opening shot: fade in to the exterior of the Carousel Boutique. Zoom in slowly.)
Spike: (from inside) Rarity?
(Cut to him, looking for her as he crosses the showroom. He has done away with his formal duds from the earlier presentation and is carrying an ornate cup.)
Spike: Rarity! Hello?
(The sound of muffled sobbing freezes him where he stands. Turning toward one of the fitting rooms, he notices a dribble of water that has oozed out across the floor from underneath its curtains. His feet splash in the wetness, and when he pulls the curtain aside, he finds Rarity collapsed at her Trenderhoof shrine and bawling her eyes out. The crying jag is, in fact, so severe that streaks of mascara have run down her cheeks.)
Spike: I brought my cider-tasting cup. (holding it up) Are you ready to go try the samples?
(She flings her forelegs wide, knocking it away to bounce across the floor.)
Rarity: (sobbing) What’s the point? (Zoom in slowly.)
Spike: Rarity, what’s wrong?
Rarity: (small voice) Nothing.
Spike: Is it something I said?
Rarity: (even smaller voice) He doesn’t like me.
Spike: What?
Rarity: He doesn’t like me.
Spike: Rarity, I-I can’t hear what you— (She rises to her hind legs.)
Rarity: (full voice, grabbing his shoulders) He doesn’t like me because he has a crush on Applejack, even though I’ve had a crush on him ever since the beginning of time, and it’s not fair!
(These last two words come with enough force to throw him to the floor; it takes him a moment to sit up.)
Spike: Trenderhoof doesn’t like you? (Stand.) That’s ridiculous! (She has sunk to her belly, facing him.)
Rarity: Oh, Spike… (turning back to the shrine) …how could you ever know what it’s like to be… (unrolling a poster) …totally obsessed with a pony… (Sob.) …only to find out they’re obsessed with some… (Sob.) …pony else?
(The little dragon casts a quizzical glance aside—“what am I, chopped liver?”)
Rarity: (turning to him) I mean, what could Applejack possibly have that I don’t?
(He just shrugs and gives her a noncommittal “beats me” grunt. When the camera next focuses on Rarity, the runny mascara is gone and she has stopped crying. Zoom in slowly.)
Rarity: (rubbing her chin) Hmmm…
(Dissolve to a close-up of Applejack walking down a street, cleaned up from her chores and with two full baskets of apples slung on her back. Trenderhoof quickly drops in behind, but his intrusion begins to irritate her.)
Trenderhoof: You know, I have such respect for the work ethic of earth ponies. (She bites it back and forces a smile.)
Applejack: Uh, gee, thanks. Granny Smith always said, “Pick an apple a day and keep trouble away.”
Trenderhoof: How many varieties of apples do you think there are?
Applejack: Uh, on the farm or in all of Equestria? (He floats one out of her baskets.) ’Cause—
Trenderhoof: I once had an apple so rare, they thought it was extinct. (They stop.) I ate four of them.
(One chomp, and the fruit is gone—except for the spatters of pulp, juice, and seeds that hit the ground and her face. Applejack aims a hairy eyeball back at him and wipes herself clean.)
Applejack: (dryly) Is that a fact? (He leans in close.)
Trenderhoof: That’s my thing. I-I take the mundane, the simple, the unappreciated, and I make it relatable.
(As he speaks, the camera cuts to his perspective and pans to follow his gesturing hoof around the area. “Mundane”: point out an elderly mare using a walker to take a stroll. “Simple”: Bon Bon and a filly. “Unappreciated”: Derpy Hooves in conversation with a stallion. All react with surprise and/or mild irritation at their sobriquets. Cut back to a close-up of Trenderhoof as he finishes; on the next line, pan slightly to show Applejack heading away from him down the street.)
Applejack: Well, I hope you can relate to Ponyville. (He inserts himself in her path, walking backward.)
Trenderhoof: Me too. But enough about me. I want to know about you. What do apples mean to…Applejack?
Applejack: Look. (Both stop.) I’m glad you’re interested in Ponyville and all, but I’m kinda busy with my chores. And if I can’t get ’em done, there won’t be a Ponyville Days Festival for you to write about.
Rarity: (from o.s.) Well, that will never do!
(The green eyes bug out at the interruption, while the blue ones behind the lenses stay firmly fixed on her. Zoom out at ground level to between Rarity’s forelegs, which sport fancy white boots with pink trim and accents. A straw basket hangs into view above them.)
Applejack: (suppressing a laugh) Rarity, what are you wearin’?
(A head-on shot of the white unicorn answers that one in full detail. Boots on all four hooves; a broad-brimmed straw sun hat with a pink band and studded with plenty of gems; a lacy pink apron/shirt front similarly decorated; the basket, lined with lace, hung on a strap around her neck.)
Rarity: What? This old thing? (Back to Applejack and Trenderhoof; hearts drift up from his head as he keeps staring at her.)
Applejack: Aren’t you too busy plannin’ the festival to keep makin’ new outfits for it? (Zoom out slightly; Rarity crosses to them.)
Rarity: I am, but the thought of hauling apples inspired me. And I just couldn’t stop myself!
Applejack: (grimacing) Really?
Rarity: If there’s one thing I love, it’s hauling apples.
(These words, and a bit of playing with her mane, do nothing whatever to distract Trenderhoof’s attention but do rub Applejack exactly the wrong way. The befuddled stallion moves closer to her.)
Trenderhoof: I’m growing fond of it myself.
(She shoots him a dirty look, the camera zooming in to a close-up of her face.)
Applejack: (under her breath) Maybe you two should try it sometime. (Longer shot, framing all three.)
Trenderhoof: I’m feeling a tad inspired.
(Striking a pose, he begins to address himself toward Rarity, to her growing delight.)
Without farm life, there’d be such disparity.
These thoughts I think with great clarity.
Apples high to the sky,
She’s the one of my eye.
(leaning to Rarity, caressing her chin; zoom in slowly)
That fruit-hauling pony named…
(A quick swivel, and he has transferred the touch to…)
…Applejack!
(The mare whose name would have finished the rhyme lets her jaw drop fully open in total shock, a most unladylike bray issuing from her throat. A heart drifts upward from her head and breaks in two, the pieces evaporating in the air, and the camera zooms in as she works her way from disbelief to a venomous glare at her new rival.)
(Dissolve to a close-up of Spike standing in one of the fields.)
Spike: Rarity…
(Zoom out. A plow stands nearby, with Rarity examining the ropes tied to its hitches.)
Spike: …why do you want to plow a field?
Rarity: (dropping ropes, circling behind plow) Is it me, or could this use a splash of color… (uneasily) …and maybe a wash?
Spike: Don’t we need to check on the gala decorations?
Rarity: (nudging him away) Yes, yes, of course. But Trend obviously has a thing for farm life. If I can’t convince him that I’m just as much of a farmhoof as Applejack, I’ll never get him interested in the festival.
Spike: (not buying it) The festival. Right. (She lifts his chin.)
Rarity: And I do appreciate your help ever so much. (hugging him) I couldn’t do a thing without you, Spikey-poo.
(As she turns o.s., his mood improves considerably thanks to her flattery.)
Spike: Well, that’s what friends are for. (A bit of clattering under his words.)
Rarity: (from o.s.) Right.
(She is now sitting on top of the plow and holding the free rope-ends.)
Rarity: So…
(Snapping them as if they were reins—and thus irrevocably confirming the impression that she has no idea whatsoever how to use a plow—she throws her weight forward as if trying to spur a horse.)
Rarity: Come on… (Grunt; another snap.) …farm…thing!
(She heaves a dejected sigh and, in close-up, slumps over and wipes sweat from her forehead.)
Rarity: (sighing again, petulantly) How does Applejack do it?
Applejack: (from o.s.) Well, it would help if the harness was on right!
(Her head snaps up and swivels toward the voice; zoom out to show Applejack and Trenderhoof crossing the field to her and Spike.)
Applejack: What are you doin’?
Rarity: I am simply lending a hoof with the chores… (smiling, to Trenderhoof) …which I love doing ever so much. (Cut to the new arrivals; Applejack cocks a brow at this.)
Applejack: (walking o.s. toward her) Well, if you’re still interested after the festival, I can teach you all about it.
(Longer shot of the area. She has donned a hitching collar similar to the one used by Big Macintosh and tied the ropes to its pegs.)
Applejack: But right now, I need to get the plowin’ done, if you don’t mind.
(She begins to gallop on the end of this, and as soon as the ropes go taut, they drag the plow away to start cutting a furrow in the soil. Rarity is flung clear and caught by Trenderhoof so that only her rear half hits the ground.)
Rarity: (come-hither mode) Not at all.
(His eyes pop to the size of poker chips, and he unceremoniously drops her in favor of staring after Applejack along with the goggling Spike. A little whimper from the now-prostrate mare.)
Spike: She makes it look so easy. (Applejack swiftly plows row after row.)
Trenderhoof: I know. Isn’t she fantastic?
(Rarity cringes mightily under the brim of her sun hat. Dissolve to the base of a tree; a grunt from the o.s. Applejack is followed by her rear hooves swinging up to connect with the wood, and the camera tilts up quickly to the branches. They are heavy with apples, which begin to vibrate in response to the hit, and a cut back to the base shows them raining down into the tubs now laid out around it. Zoom out; Applejack stands proudly over them, but Trenderhoof’s ardent clapping distracts her and Rarity is no help when she walks up. Applejack is no longer hitched up and does not wear the collar.)
Rarity: I really don’t see what the fuss is all about.
(Spotting a second tree nearby, she crosses to it in close-up and gingerly thumps her front hooves against its bark.)
Applejack: (from os.) Now, Rarity— (Cut to her, stepping up next to Trenderhoof.) —you be careful. If you don’t get the buckin’ just right— (Back to the irked Rarity; she continues o.s.) —you could sprain a hoof.
Rarity: I am perfectly familiar with the applebucking process, thank you very much. But while you seem to rely on raw power, I believe a certain amount of style is required. (She slides over to the bemused Trenderhoof with a smile.) It’s really more of a dance, if you ask me.
(Humming quietly to herself, she executes a few steps to approach the tree, turns to face away from it, and kicks one rear hoof onto the wood. A single apple shivers on its branch, and the camera cuts to a close-up of the basket around her neck as it drops neatly in. Zoom out to frame one very self-satisfied mare.)
Rarity: Et voilà! (Trenderhoof stares openmouthed; Applejack is unimpressed.)
Applejack: Well, your way is definitely long on style.
Rarity: Thank you.
Applejack: (walking past, followed by Trenderhoof) Now if you’ll all excuse me, I have some more chores to do.
(His grinning pursuit is cut off sharply when she whirls to stare him down.)
Applejack: Inside!
(Off she goes to a chicken coop, hunching down to cram herself through the small entrance used by the poultry. The hatch drops shut behind her to the sound of surprised squawking from inside; zoom out quickly to frame the whole of the building, then cut back to a dispirited Rarity.)
Trenderhoof: (from o.s.) Rarity… (Her head snaps up with an eager smile; zoom out to frame him.) …can I ask you something?
Rarity: Oh, why, Trend, you can ask me anything.
Trenderhoof: (nervously) I’ve been meaning to ask for a while, and frankly I’m sort of embarrassed.
(He voices the faintest bit of a chuckle and smiles broadly; cut to Rarity and zoom in slowly.)
Trenderhoof: (from o.s.) Rarity… (Her smile widens a bit.) …do you think… (Zoom out quickly; the next words hit her like a poleaxe.) …Applejack would be my date for the festival?
(Sheer surprise turns into brain-melting fury in a flash, and she leans hard into his face.)
Rarity: Why don’t you go ask her yourself?!? (She turns away.) Hmph!
(The style-conscious stallion is left to stare mutely after her. Dissolve to the chicken coop in which Applejack sequestered herself; the hatch is slid up from inside, and she puts her head out for a wary look around the yard. Trenderhoof is at a distance, thumping a front hoof against a tree and bringing down exactly one apple that ends up speared on his horn. She plasters herself behind another tree, careful to stay out of his line of sight, and slinks across an open patch of ground to take cover behind some bushes. Trenderhoof, meanwhile, pulls the apple off his horn and bites into it. Applejack gallops for the barn; cut to inside its main door as she eases it open and slips inside. A moment later, she has slammed the door shut and leaned her back against it, letting out a relieved sigh.)
Applejack: Well, that was close.
Rarity: (from o.s.) If you’ve come to apologize—
(Cut to her, also inside the barn and without her apple basket; behind her, Macintosh is loading a cart with equipment.)
Rarity: —there’s really no need. (She turns away; cut to Applejack and zoom out to frame both.)
Applejack: What are you talkin’ about? (Rarity holds up a foreleg to stop her.)
Rarity: Let’s dispense with the charade, shall we?
Applejack: Listen. I know you really want Trend to like you.
Rarity: And he does. (She leans into Applejack’s face.) Despite somepony’s best efforts! (Turn away; hitch herself to the cart on the next line.)
Applejack: I swear, I don’t know why he’s payin’ so much attention to me. (Macintosh adds a pitchfork to the load.) And I don’t know anypony who’s that interested in farmin’—not even me!
Rarity: (hauling cart out) Well, maybe it’s time Trend met a real country pony.
Applejack: Shouldn’t you be workin’ on the festival instead of comin’ up with new ways to impress Trend? (Close-up of Rarity on the end of this; she stops.)
Rarity: (acidly) Oh, I’m sure you’d love that. Well, I have a new vision for the festival…
(She adopts an exaggerated Southern drawl that layers oddly with her normal refined speech.)
Rarity: (hauling cart out again) …and it’s gonna be more country than the whole Apple family put together!
** Unless otherwise indicated, she will speak with this accent until further notice. **
(The two members of said family stare after her—Applejack with concern, Macintosh with total disbelief—and trade a worried look. Dissolve to the exterior of the Carousel Boutique, then cut to the showroom. The runway is still set up, but the set of steps Spike wheeled up to its end has been replaced by a hay bale. Others are set up on the floor at either end of the ill-stitched patchwork that has replaced the elegant curtain, and wisps of hay litter the floor and runway. Twilight, Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Rainbow are in here and at a loss to figure out the drastic change in decoration.)
Fluttershy: Um, isn’t it a little late to be changing the theme?
(A door is heard opening/closing under her words, and Applejack trots into the showroom.)
Twilight: Applejack! What’s going on?
Applejack: I’m too scared to guess. (Down go the lights; up come the foots. Zoom in slowly on the curtain.)
Rarity: (from behind curtain) Firstly, I just want to thank you all for comin’; and second, I know y’all will all adore my new festival theme.
(Close-up of the curtain. A spotlight flicks on to pick out Spike as he walks out from the wings, wearing a crudely woven straw hat and plucking a banjo. The rough drapery whips back to expose a most unlikely tableau: a hay-strewn expanse of bales, pigs, chickens, and farm tools, with a wagon wheel on the back wall amid a row of horseshoes. Standing at the middle of it all is Rarity, her mane/tail in an unkempt state resembling Applejack’s, but without the ties to hold them back. She has traded her frou-frou farmer ensemble for a straw hat like Spike’s, with holes cut for her horn and ears, and a set of ragged overalls.)
Rarity: “Simple Ways”!
(The looks that come over the faces of the other five suggest that their brains would be quite content to jump out of the skulls and catch a ride to the next town. Snap to black.)
Act Three
(Opening shot: fade in to the showroom. Rarity and Spike are now standing at the end of the runway, the baby dragon twanging a few notes on the banjo; cut to Twilight, Applejack, and Fluttershy. The earth pony spends a long second or two desperately holding back her mirth. She finally loses the battle with a hearty guffaw and ends up leaning against Fluttershy to keep from going to the floor.)
Rarity: (from o.s., irked) Well? (Back to her and Spike.) What’s so funny?
Applejack: Rarity, that is the silliest getup I have ever seen! (Fluttershy manages a smile.)
Fluttershy: (laughing a bit) It is a little funny. (Back to Rarity.)
Rarity: Funny?
(A giggle from the o.s. Twilight; back to the three.)
Twilight: Rarity, you aren’t serious, are you? (That gets her a very angry glare as Rarity descends the hay bale to face her.)
Rarity: (normal tone) Well, of course I’m serious!
(Catching herself, she clears her throat and picks up her overdone drawl again.)
Rarity: Why wouldn’t I be?
Applejack: Because you would never dress like that. You like fashion and high society and fancy things.
Rarity: (normal tone, to drawl) And I can like plowin’ fields and haulin’ apples just as much.
Applejack: But you don’t!
Rarity: How do you know what I like?
Applejack: Because I know you!
Rarity: (pushing her aside, walking past) Well, maybe you don’t know me as well as you think.
Applejack: And I suppose it’s just a coincidence that Trenderhoof seemed so interested in country life too?
(Rarity stops short during this line, then turns back to face her.)
Rarity: I don’t know what you are gettin’ at.
Applejack: Well, then, I guess I’ll just have to show you.
Rarity: (normal tone, walking to door) Be my guest! (drawl, opening it) Now, if you all will excuse me— (exiting) —I have a hootenanny of a festival to put on.
(Slam; cut to the bewildered equine quintet and zoom in on Applejack as she glares daggers after the departed unicorn and snarls softly. Wipe to the exterior of the main barn at Sweet Apple Acres, zooming in slowly, then cut to Spike inside. He still wears his straw hat, but has traded his banjo for a clipboard on which he is glumly marking off items.)
Rarity: (from o.s.) Now…
(Cut to her on the start of the next line. A runway and ragged curtain have been set up her to mirror the boutique’s setup, and she is addressing a line of fillies gathered in front of it. Among them are Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle.)
Rarity: (normal tone) …to be a model in the Simple Ways fashion show… (drawl, pacing; pan to follow) …you might think “simple” means “less is more.” (She leans down toward Apple Bloom, at the far end.) Well, that just ain’t so. (close-up; warming up horn) If you want to be real simple, more is more.
(Here come a couple of old boots, a floppy straw hat, and a clump of flowers under her control. They are projected toward the o.s. Bloom; a quick rustling, a round of horrified stares from the other fillies, and the job is done. The hat has been crammed onto the red mane, topped by the flowers and with slits cut for her ears, the boots are on her front hooves, and she is wearing a set of ragged overalls. As soon as she has taken full stock of herself, she hunches miserably down as if trying to shrink into the hat. Zoom out to frame the entire tableau.)
Rarity: Now, y’all go off and make yourselves look just like that.
(The rest of the would-be models reluctantly head for the door; Bloom, meanwhile, has a hard time seeing where she is going due to the oversized headwear tilting over her eyes.)
Rarity: (to Spike) Who’s our next model for the fashion show?
Spike: (eyeing clipboard closely) Um…Apple…Jewel? (She leans in for a look.)
Rarity: Who the hay is that?
(Down go the lights, and a spot works along the runway—built of rough wooden planks—toward the curtains, which open to reveal the newcomer. It is Applejack, with her mane gathered at the top of her head and secured by a jeweled clip. Her cowboy hat is gone, and she is decked out in a dress of lacy blue-green fabric patterned with white diamonds, over a layer of translucent pink at the hem. Neither Rarity nor Spike can get any words out straight away, and they remain silent as Applejack proceeds smoothly out to the end of the runway and turns to show the threads from all angles. She doubles back toward the curtain, swinging her hips provocatively, but suddenly stops and turns her head to show off her best set of bedroom eyes. Rarity is first to find her tongue so she can voice her indignation.)
Rarity: Is this some kind of joke?
(Now Applejack starts in with a voice that is not her own, imitating Rarity’s speech in a way that fails to completely hide her drawl.)
** She will speak with this accent until further notice. **
Applejack: Why, Rarity, whatever would make you think I was joking? (Close-up of Rarity.)
Rarity: (own voice) Because you would never wear an ensemble like that! You like plowing fields and hauling apples! (Zoom out to frame Applejack and Spike on the start of the next line.)
Applejack: (poking Rarity’s hat brim down) And I can like fashion just as much.
Rarity: But you don’t!
Applejack: Well, maybe you do not know me as well as you think.
Rarity: (drawl) Fine! But I got a whole festival to plan, so if you’re going to start modelin’, just get on with it!
(Applejack’s scowl turns into a smirk, and she starts into it with all the poise she can drum up.)
Applejack: Life is a festival, and you should celebrate it by lookin’ just like me, because I’m a trendsettin’ fashionista.
(A flash bulb pops, and its glare fades to reveal that the scene has changed to a close-up photo of her face. Two other shots flash up—lying on her belly and laughing, blowing a kiss over her shoulder—and the camera cuts to an incredulous Rarity.)
Rarity: (normal tone) You’re a trendsetting fashionista?! Why, that is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever— (Stop short.) —I mean— (drawl) —good for you. I, on the other hoof— (flies buzz around her; she scratches them away) —couldn’t care less how I look, ’long as I get the chores done.
(A few bits of dislodged chaff drift down around one foreleg, and she puts the hoof of the other one to her nose and crosses her eyes while braying like a donkey. A very smug Applejack steps down from the runway.)
Applejack: Oh, is that so?
Rarity: Yes-indeedy-doodle! (Gasp from Applejack.)
Applejack: Not me.
(Rarity glares at her; she fluffs her mane a bit, inspecting herself in a hand mirror.)
Applejack: My mane needs to be perfectly coiffed at all times. (Rarity floats her hat off, showering herself with dust from it.)
Rarity: Well, my mane is full of dust and split ends!
(Extreme close-up of one orange-tan hoof, polished to a high shine; the mirror has been put away.)
Applejack: (leaning over it, seeing her reflection) My hooves are so polished, you can see your reflection in them!
Rarity: (holding up a battered front hoof; zoom in on it) My hooves are cracked and dry from working in the fields!
Applejack: I’m so fashion-forward! (Rarity has her hat back on.)
Rarity: I wear droopy drawers! (Roses float behind Applejack.)
Applejack: I smell like rosebuds!
Rarity: (completely unhinged) I love bein’ covered in mud!
(She puts her money where her mouth is by hurling herself over a partition and into a mud puddle being used as a pig wallow. One glob sails across the barn and, in slow motion, splatters against the tasteful pink/blue-green fabric covering Applejack’s chest. The aspiring country pony is out of the mud in an instant, carrying plenty of it with her and returning to her normal speech.)
Rarity: Goodness! Your couture! (She probes the dirty spot.) Ooh, it’s bad! (eyeing the mud now on her hooves) Will somepony bring me a towel to wipe this repulsive filth from my hooves!
(Now Applejack drops her own fake accent and throws a foreleg across the denim-clad shoulders with a smile.)
Applejack: There’s the Rarity I know!
Rarity: (chastened) Oh, Applejack… (Applejack backs off.) …I’m sorry I said all those things. You’re a true friend who probably knows me better than I know myself. I don’t know what I was thinking, wearing this ridiculous outfit.
Applejack: I kinda know how you feel.
Rarity: (smiling) Oh, but you were just trying to help me see how silly I was being. (sadly) And you were right. (Sigh, then smile again.) Besides, that gown looks just gorgeous on you. (sadly) I wish I hadn’t ruined it.
Applejack: Thanks! It’s nice, ain’t it?
Rarity: It’s magnificent! Wherever did you get it?
(The farmer cuts her eyes nervously away for a split second, then turns them back toward her opposite number.)
Applejack: Oh! It’s, uh…one of yours.
(Under the beat-up straw hat and unruly purple mane, the blue eyes shrink to terror-stricken points as a siren goes off in Rarity’s head. She reaches down to grab Spike, shaking him hard enough to dislodge the hat from his head. He has done away with the clipboard he was holding.)
Rarity: I’ll need three gallons of boiling water and one ounce of detergent, stat!
(He is off like a shot and out the door, passing the recently arrived Trenderhoof. Seen from the neck down, he has changed out of his sweater and into a set of overalls that have seen better days. After he clears his throat, the camera zooms out to frame all of him: straw hat, but without horn/ear holes, and half-moon reading glasses instead of the fashionable ones he has sported to this point.)
Trenderhoof: I’m moving to Ponyville! (Both mares start in surprise.) Being the most interesting pony in Equestria is exhausting. I want to leave my exotic, exciting life behind and…live on a farm!
Applejack, Rarity: WHAT?!?
Applejack: Well, that’s real nice, but I sure hope you weren’t thinkin’ of Sweet Apple Acres. (Trenderhoof’s face falls.)
Trenderhoof: Oh.
Applejack: Uh…look. You’re a fine pony, but…uh…well…I’m, uh— (Rarity steps forward.)
Rarity: I think what Applejack is trying to say is that there’s something unappealing about a pony who’d change themselves so much just to impress somepony else. If somepony doesn’t like you for who you are, it’s their loss. (She smiles gently.)
Trenderhoof: Well, this is awkward.
Rarity: Not at all. In fact, I think I know just how you feel.
Applejack: What do you think, Rarity? Is it too late to go back to “Small-Town Chic”?
Rarity: (smiling determinedly) Not if I can help it!
(Dissolve to the charcoal sketch of the cider tasting as depicted during her Act One presentation. The page is turned aside to expose the scene playing out under the night sky.)
Rarity: (voice over, dictating) “Organizing the Ponyville Days celebration was one of the hardest things I have ever done.”
(Meant as an entry for the shared journal. Cut to her sketch of the dance near the town hall; it too is flipped to show this event taking place in real time. Pan toward the front entrance.)
Rarity: (voice over) “But I learned an important lesson.”
(Stop on Applejack and Granny in front of the steps, the former still done up fancy and having had the mud cleaned off her borrowed dress. Trenderhoof, back in his original sweater and glasses, steps up and lifts a foreleg gallantly toward the younger mare—then surprises her by extending it to the older one instead.)
Rarity: (voice over) “Real friends will like you for who you are.”
(Granny accepts the offer, and he leads her out into the dance.)
Rarity: (voice over) “And changing yourself to impress them is no way to make new ones.”
(Cut to her sketch of the fashion show, which is pulled aside to show Rarity and the Cutie Mark Crusaders walking an outdoor runway for the crowd. The three fillies are in tasteful gowns, and the mare is back in the light blue ensemble and accompanying jewelry she used for her presentation. Cameras flash here and there.)
Rarity: (voice over) “And when you’re as fabulous as I am…”
(She reaches the runway’s end and bows as Trenderhoof climbs up next to her. He offers her a rose; she takes it in her teeth and smiles confidently around the long stem.)
Rarity: (voice over) “…it’s practically a crime.”
(A twinkle of light plays across each pupil, and the view fades to black.)