MY LITTLE PONY: BEST GIFT EVER

Written by Michael Vogel

Produced by Devon Cody

Story editing by Nicole Dubuc

Supervising direction by Jim Miller

Directed by Denny Lu, Mike Myhre

Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)

Notes:                Like My Little Pony: The Movie, this special does not have a prologue before the

                opening credits. This transcript begins with the display of the title card.

                Unless otherwise noted, characters wear assorted items of cold-weather gear

while outside.

                Background song lyrics are in square brackets; any marked with an exclamation

                point are shouted rather than sung.

Act One

(Opening shot: fade in to a title card done up as an expanse of snowflake-patterned wrapping paper on a present, with a ribbon tied in a bow and an attached tag displaying the title of this special. The lot comes undone on its own and falls away to expose a thick bank of clouds, which part to frame a long overhead shot of Ponyville on a snowy winter’s morning. Zoom in slowly as a young, slightly scratchy female voice begins to speak.)

Young female voice:                ’Twas a single day left before Hearth’s Warming Eve.

(Cut to the town’s train station; Sandbar and his five friends are among the group waiting on the platform. A train pulls in to hide them from view.)

                                Everypony was busy, so much to achieve.

(A few passengers step out as the six make their way aboard.)

                                They hustled and bustled, their heads were a-spin.

(Zoom out; Starlight Glimmer and Trixie stroll past the station, the latter towing her wagon.)

                                And it’s here that our holiday story begins.

Light orchestral carol, triplet feel, fast 4 (D major)

(Behind its trailing edge, the view wipes to a pegasus stallion flying up to hook a string of lights to a house’s rooftop, to the surprise and joy of Berry Punch at an upper-story window. Down in the street, a stallion laden with presents halts barely in time to avoid a trio of galloping foals, one of whom takes a tumble in front of him and cannot get upright due to the bulk of her snowsuit. Cherry Berry and a stallion set out pies and cakes at a market stall.)

Crowd:                Hearth’s Warming Eve is almost here, there’s so much left to do

(Rainbow Dash zooms over the lighted street, on the edge of panic, and pulls up at a stall.) 

Rainbow:                Still need to shop for all my friends, but what to get? No clue

(She zooms away; behind her, Fluttershy is eyeing an array of apples and treats attended by Berry.)

 Fluttershy:                This one is nice and that’s so cute, although that’s pretty too

(A length of fabric tumbles past the camera; behind it, wipe to Rarity working at the sewing machine in her upper-story workspace and living quarters of the Carousel Boutique. Zoom out to frame piles of wrapped boxes and loose materials scattered across the whole space.)

Rarity:                Why do I make all these gifts each year?

(She levitates on a fur hat, scarf with her three trademark blue gems, and sunglasses and brings up a bulging sack.)

                        I doubt I’ll make it through

Brassy swing

(Out she goes with considerable speed, emerging from the front door an instant later and grazing a bystander so that he ends up wearing the contents of his ice cream cone. She has donned a quartet of boots by this point, and all three quickly pull even among the stalls, Rarity no longer hauling the sack.)

Fluttershy, Rainbow, Rarity:        One more day before the cheer

(Gifts are swiftly chosen, purchased, boxed, and prepped for giving.)

Crowd:                                 [Shop, pay, box, wrap, bow, repeat!]

(Three approximately vertical panels appear to tile the screen, each showing one of the three.)

Fluttershy, Rainbow, Rarity:        One last chance before the holiday’s here

(Fullscreen: Daisy, Lily, and Rose get a package ready, step by step.)

Crowd:                                [Box, wrap, bow, again!]                

Fluttershy, Rainbow, Rarity:        One more day to make the holiday great

                                        One more day before we celebrate

(Rarity peels off toward a stall and telekinetically exchanges several bits for fabric and thread, which cruise away with her.)

Rarity:                                One day and then it’s here

(Spectators gather in the street, stacking up to form a rough archway.)

Crowd:                                One more chance to bring that holiday cheer

Carol

(Pinkie Pie bounds up into view from behind the group and starts hopping merrily down the block, stopping in front of the gathered Apple and Pie families. They are joined by Grand Pear, the grandfather of Applejack and her siblings who mended fences with Granny Smith in “The Perfect Pear.” The Pies’ luggage is piled in a bit of snow off to one side, and Cloudy Quartz and Igneous Rock are the only ones of the group not kitted out for the cold.)

Pinkie:                                         Hearth’s Warming Eve is almost here, a day for us

      to share

Applejack:                                        Friends and family all together

Pinkie: (popping up among them)                Pies and Apples and a Pear

(Big Macintosh loads the gear into a cart as Igneous strings garland on a snack stall run by Cloudy. The red stallion heaves at one sack, which falls open to reveal a pile of rocks—doubtless some of Maud’s things.)

Applejack:                                        To gather family’s lots of work, there’s so much

                                                     to prepare

(Pinkie gathers kitchen implements as Applejack shifts a barrel of apples.)

Applejack, Pinkie:                                With all the planning we still have to do

(Both adjust their hats.)                        We’ve got no time to spare

Swing

(They lead the combined clans toward Sweet Apple Acres, Macintosh pulling the cart; cut to within the living room of its main barn and zoom out slowly as the door opens to admit them. Macintosh is now out of harness.)

Crowd:                                One more day before the cheer

(Six vertical panels appear left to right in time with the next line, each showing the pink hooves performing a different action to get a present ready to roll.)

Pinkie:                                 [Stuff, box, wrap, card, bow, repeat!]

(Fullscreen: Bloom, Cloudy, and Grand touch up a fully decorated tree set up by the stairs, the filly standing eagerly atop a box as tall as the two grown ponies. Here comes Limestone, pushing a sizable, ribbon-tied boulder with her head; Bloom boggles at the sight. Only Bloom and Grand still wear their winter togs.)

Crowd:                                 One last chance before the holiday’s here

(Now four panels pop into view, each filling a quarter of the screen to depict the next three actions and a close-up of Pinkie in her gear as well.)

Pinkie:                                 [Stir, pour, bake, again!]

(Fullscreen: Macintosh and Sugar Belle trade an affectionate nuzzle—he still wearing his knit cap from outside—and he kisses her forehead as Marble struggles not to burst out crying and backs up out of a doorway. Evidently his choice of Sugar over her has left some raw feelings.)

Crowd:                                One more day to make the holiday bright

(A cider vendor worriedly surveys the long line of thirsty ponies stretching into the distance.)

Cider vendor:                        One more day and I can sleep at night

(Close-up of Applejack at a stall in the street outside.)

Applejack:                                The family’s almost here

(Zoom out in steps to frame the families, Grand, and Sugar; Limestone and Marble are the only ones without their warm clothing.)

Crowd:                                One more chance to bring that holiday cheer

Carol, with vocal harmonies behind lyrics; straight time

(Pinkie throws out a hoof-load of confetti. As it flutters down past the camera, the view wipes to a close-up of Scootaloo pulling Sweetie Belle down the road on a sled toward the town hall.)

Crowd:                                Before the fun, there’s preparation [Just around the corner]

(Caramel emerges from Sugarcube Corner; Mr. Cake sets a dessert on the windowsill to cool; a colt hangs an ornament on a scrawny sapling, which bends double under the weight to surprise both him and a filly looking on.)

                                        Shopping, cooking, decoration [Complications]

(One stallion flees before the charge of a crazed raccoon, missing Bon Bon and Lyra by a hair. Cut to an overhead shot of the town square and zoom out slowly to frame the good spirits in evidence on all sides.)

                                        It’s all worth it in the end, spreading joy to all your friends

(Derpy Hooves, on duty at the post office, finds herself beset by customers—each with a taller sack of packages to ship out than the one before him/her.)

                                        Even when it never, ever, ever seems to end

Triplet feel; harmonies end

(A yell rings out as the one at the back of the queue loses his balance and dumps his load, setting off a domino effect that sends a hailstorm of boxes plummeting past the camera. Behind them, the view wipes to a close-up of Spike toting a box of decorations and moving through the Castle of Friendship as fast as his stubby legs will carry him. A few steps bring him to the entrance hall, where he sets his cargo down among a wild disorder of other such containers and loose bits.)

Spike:                Hearth’s Warming Eve is getting close, we’re not prepared, I fear

(He zips to the open doors of Twilight Sparkle’s bedchamber, but the boss is nowhere in sight.)

                Twilight, you should take a break

(She pops up in the fore, on the verge of a complete freak-out.)

Twilight:        No time for rest, that much is clear

(Her aura reels up a scroll and dumps it into his arms; it is so long that the folds nearly bury him where he stands, and she flies over to him.)

                I made a list and checked it twice, there’s lots to do on here

(now in a corridor, followed by Spike dragging the scroll and wearing a scarf and tasseled knit cap contoured to fit his head spines)

                Oh, if I can’t get everything done

(Outside; she bursts through the front doors, now outfitted for the cold, and he trails. A broad ribbon encircles the main trunk and is tied in a bow above the frame.)

                I’ll have to wait and celebrate next year

Swing

(The doors slam; cut to a long shot of the Castle, which has been outfitted for Hearth’s Warming. Six panels pop into view one by one to tile the screen, each holding one of the six mares. The dividing lines between them radiate out from the center of the screen.)

Crowd:                One more day before the cheer

(They are replaced by images of the next actions.)

                        [Shop, pay, box, wrap, bow, repeat!]

(The collection slides away to frame Fluttershy walking down the road with three stallions. The yellow pegasus finds herself ensnared in the yards of parchment and being dragged along by Spike in his mad dash to keep up with Twilight.)

                        One last chance before the holiday’s here

(Berry readies a gift and slings it into a cart.)

                        [Box, wrap, bow, again!]

(Now Rarity gets snagged up and hauled away from the fabric counter.)

                        One more day to make the holiday great

(The scroll yanks Rainbow out of the air next.)

                        One more day until we celebrate

Stoptime

(All three Cutie Mark Crusaders pop up in the fore.)

Crusaders:                  [Please, oh, please, make it really, really great!]

(Pan quickly to a mail carrier stallion struggling not to drop the tower of packages on his back.)

Carrier:                 [One more gift, try to hurry, don’t be late!]

(To Daisy, Lily, and Rose wrapping up a package; finding Doctor Whooves napping at his station down the line, they lean in and raise their voices to jolt him awake.)

Crowd:                 [Box, wrap, bow, repeat, gotta concentrate!]

Stoptime ends

(To Twilight, flapping madly down the street with Spike at her heels and dragging the scroll. It snaps taut in the little guy’s hand, pulling him off balance to dump him on the cobblestones, and he looks back to take stock of the three-pony catch that has stopped him cold.)

                         Just one more day until we all celebrate

Song ends

Rainbow: (grunting, partially freeing herself) Do we want to know why you’re wrapping up everypony in town?

Spike: Not wrapping paper, a to-do list.

(He emphasizes the statement by pointing down the way, where Twilight is teleporting frantically from one stall to another.)

Twilight: (collecting items as she goes) Two of these…three of those…maybe ten of those, heh, just in case…

(The ones she accidentally reeled in have pulled loose now, and she stays in one place as the crazed purple eyes dart over the nearest display.)

Rarity: Twilight, darling, are you all right?

Twilight: (rapid fire, levitating a cake) Sure! Just grabbing a few things. Do I need this? No, that’s silly. I need eight! (She poofs away as Applejack and Pinkie arrive.)

Applejack: Hey, y’all. What’s everypony— (She sees Twilight popping from stall to stall.) —ohhhh. Traditional holiday meltdown?

Other four mares, Spike: (nodding) Uh-huh/Mmm-hmm.

(The blond workhorse takes her time crossing to Twilight, whose lungs are working triple time as her magic holds her new acquisitions.)

Applejack: (soothingly, pushing items to ground) Hey, Twilight. How’s your day?

Twilight: (rapid fire) I got way behind grading midterms, and Cadence and Shining Armor are coming here with Flurry Heart for Hearth’s Warming Eve, and I haven’t started decorating and I don’t know what to get any of you and— (Applejack puts a hoof over her mouth.)

Applejack: Stop. Take a breath.

(The tightly-wound Princess does so, pulling in every molecule of air that will fit, and clamps her lips together so that her cheeks bulge.)

Applejack: Now let it out slooowww.

(The exhalation is a steady one, Twilight seeming to deflate a notch where she stands, and Applejack pats her shoulder once it is complete.)

Applejack: Now, I think I have an idea that might help. (All gather in.)

[Animation goof: Rarity’s sunglasses disappear briefly during the following.]

Applejack: What if we change up how we give gifts this year and do a Hearth’s Warmin’ Helper?

Fluttershy: (crossing to stand with Twilight) What’s a Hearth’s Warming Helper?

Applejack: Whenever the whole Apple family got together, there were just so many of us, it didn’t make sense to buy everypony gifts. So we’d put our names in a hat— (Pinkie whips over and drops to her haunches.)

Pinkie: Ooooh! A game of chance! (rubbing front hooves together expectantly) Tell me more.

(Applejack rolls her eyes in mild exasperation, then continues while pacing away a few steps.)

Applejack: —then we’d pull a name, but keep it a secret. (Pinkie cuts her off, again on her haunches.)

Pinkie: A dash of mystery. Good, good. (She slides away.)

Applejack: Instead of buyin’ everypony a present, you just get one for the pony you picked from the hat.
Pinkie: Wait. So instead of lots of presents, I only buy one of you a present? (shrilly, forelegs flailing) What kind of game is this?!?

Rarity: Well, it would save time.

Spike: (dreamily, hearts floating/popping around his head) And you could get the pony you pick something really nice.  

(He drifts up into a hover on the end of this line, having set down the oversized list, and finishes with a dopey little chuckle. A pointed throat-clearing from Rainbow snaps him back to reality.)

Rainbow: The less shopping, the better. In!

Fluttershy: Will that help, Twilight?

Twilight: (much more calmly) I was stressed about shopping.

(All eyes turn toward Pinkie, now standing on all fours again; after a tense pause, she voices a long, sullen sigh. Close-up.)

Pinkie: (crossing forelegs) Fine. I will only buy one present for my secret Hearth’s Warming Helper buddy. (Pan to Applejack, who removes her hat and flips it upside down.)

Applejack: We just need to put everypony’s name in this here hat.

(Twilight obliges by magically tearing a section off her to-do list, floating up a quill to do some writing on the flip side, and separating seven pieces. The mares and Spike are each represented once by their cutie marks and a dragon wing, respectively, and the slips are folded and dropped into the hat for Applejack to shake.)

Applejack: Y’all ready? No peekin’.

(After a round of nods, Twilight and Rarity each pluck one with their magic, Fluttershy scoops one up in a wing, Spike takes one by hand, Rainbow nips one with her teeth, and Pinkie snags one on her tongue. Cut to a slow pan across the seven, Applejack having taken the last slip for herself; all have unfolded them and are holding them close for a good hard look without letting any others steal a glimpse. The camera stops on a broadly grinning Pinkie.)

Pinkie: So excited! (Giddy squeal.) Too excited! I don’t want to give anything away!

(She disappears in a blur, leaving her slip fluttering free, but ducks back just long enough to bite it out of the air.)

Pinkie: (hopping away) Wheeeee!

(Zoom in slowly on the others. Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rainbow park their slips within hat, wing, and scarf, respectively, while Spike eyes his worriedly.)

Rarity: (to others) When will the gift exchange occur?

Rainbow: How about…Twilight’s castle, tomorrow night? Hearth’s Warming Eve.

Applejack: That’s perfect! Pinkie and I can spend the evening with y’all, and the next mornin’ with our families. (Twilight has stashed hers; Rarity’s aura puts hers under her hat.)

Twilight: And thanks to all of you, I should be ready to celebrate by then.

Fluttershy: Oh, this is so exciting!

(The mares fan out, Twilight exerting her influence to carry along the items she picked up in her split-second shopping spree. Spike hangs back, momentarily frozen with apprehension.)

Spike: Uh… (hurrying after Applejack) …um, Applejack? Is it against the rules to trade names? Like if I had a better idea for somepony special—I mean, specific?

Applejack: (with slight reluctance) If you can figure out who has the pony you want and they’re okay with tradin’, I guess it’s fine.

Spike: Great! (forced casual tone) So, uh, who do you—

Applejack: (curtly) I don’t have Rarity.

Spike: (feigning shock, stopping) What?! That’s not who I—

Applejack: (dryly) Uh-huh.

(Having been thoroughly bowled out, the young dragon takes wing in an embarrassed retreat. Fade to black.)

Act Two

(Opening shot: fade in to the cluttered entrance hall of the Castle. Twilight swoops into view, steering a wreath with horn-power to hang over a set of doors. Several more go up on a balcony, then one to either side of the front doors—which are promptly and unceremoniously flung open by Spike from outside. The last two wreaths plop back to the floor; zoom out slightly as he catches sight of the Princess decorating like sixty. He has put away the slip he drew.)

Spike: (casually) Hey, Twilight! Whatcha planning to get your secret pony?

Twilight: (stringing garlands) Not sure. I’m getting the Castle ready for my family first. Then I’ll shop.

(She lands to check a cluster of boxes, and he flaps up to throw her a knowing sidelong glance.)

Spike: Maybe something sparkly? Fashionable?

Twilight: (airily, loating up a string of lights) No. Those aren’t really the kind of things my pony likes. (She tows them into the air after her.)

Spike: (sourly) Oh. (brightly, landing) Well, gotta go! Wish me luck! (Twilight loops the string onto a balcony railing.)

Twilight: (puzzled) With shopping? (Cut to Spike at the front doors.)

Spike: Well, yeah. If everypony’s only getting one gift, we have a ton of responsibility to make sure it’s extra-special good!

(He hustles out, the camera zooming out to frame Twilight looking on from overhead with fresh worry. It only deepens when her aura fishes out her slip—with Pinkie’s mark on it.)

Twilight: I didn’t think of it that way. (Gnaw a hoof; pace in midair.) The present I get for Pinkie Pie should make or break her holiday. I can’t just go shopping and hope to find something nice! This needs forethought, planning, research! (Touch down.) I’ll decorate later. (Tuck the paper away.) Knowing Pinkie, she probably already has a perfect idea what to get her pony.

(The hoof-biting resumes as the view wipes to a close-up of Pinkie, flopping back-first onto her bed within her living quarters above Sugarcube Corner. She has put away the paper she chose.)

Pinkie: I have no idea what to get my pony!

(Two frustrated front hooves clap over the blue eyes; cut to a longer shot of the room, heavily decked out for Hearth’s Warming. All three of her sisters are haunch-sitting on the floor, Limestone and Marble wrapping presents and Maud holding her pet rock Boulder—which sports a tasseled red stocking cap for the season. Behind them, a plethora of parcels rests at the wall.)

Limestone: (gesturing to them) There’s a pile of presents right there. (She stands and turns to them; Pinkie’s pet alligator Gummy stands atop the lot, in a hat of his own.) Pick one and you’re done.

Pinkie: (sliding partway off bed, headfirst) Those were for when I was getting all of my friends matching Harmony Hearth’s Warming hats.

(She pulls her front half off the floor as she finishes, then lets her entire body flop to the carpet. An instant later she is upright among the gifts and shoving one, roughly shaped like a stocking cap, into Limestone’s face.)

Pinkie: (voice breaking) Now it’s just Twilight! (Sob; she calms down and tosses it up.) I can’t give one pony a matching present with nothing to match it! (It lands neatly on Limestone’s head.) I need something special for only her!

(The hoof she brings down for emphasis on this last word crushes a small box, setting off a tinkle of breaking glass. She tosses it aside with a sheepish little grin as Limestone turns her “hat” to get its drooping upper end out of her eyes. Across the way, Marble and Maud are both standing and the latter has put Boulder away.)

Maud: I’ve got it.

Pinkie: I don’t think Twilight likes rocks as much as you do, Maud.

Maud: (holding up a box) Don’t rock it ’til you try it.

(The lid pops off so a rock can bob out on the end of a spring as a geological jack-in-the-box, prompting a soft giggle from Marble. Up behind Pinkie, Gummy offers one of his out-of-sync blinks and slowly extends his tongue.)

Pinkie: Thanks for the vote of confidence, Gummy— (holding up another small gift) —but this is the biggest holiday challenge I’ve ever faced.

(Another overly emphatic hoof gesture smashes this one to junk as well.)

Pinkie: (embarrassed, offering it to Limestone) Uh, this one’s for you. (It it taken; she gets a brainstorm.) Hey! (Burst out of the pile, scattering boxes everywhere.) This is the biggest holiday challenge I ever faced!

(One wedges itself onto Limestone’s head.)

Pinkie: (bucking wildly) How exciting is that?!? (Limestone tears away the paper/ribbon; the box opens to expose her stunned expression.) Am I up for the challenge? (pacing) I know I’m good at gift-giving, but am I the best at gift-giving?

Limestone: Who would say they’re the best at gift-giving? That’s ridiculous.

Marble: Uh… (Pinkie whips over and pinches her cheeks.)

Pinkie: Marble, you’re a genius! (shaking/dropping her) Yaks would say they’re the best at gift-giving! (Marble stands up.) If anypony knows what to do, it’s them.

(Behind her, Limestone strips the remains of the box off her head. In a trice, the pink sister has retrieved her scarf and tasseled knit cap from a coat tree and suited up, having sat on her haunches at the top of the stairs.)

Pinkie: I gotta go to Yakyakistan. (Stand up.) Thanks! These Pie sister talks are the best!

(She rises to her hind legs with forelegs spread wide and plants a kiss on the faces of the other three, hanging down into view from above to deliver Limestone’s last, and hops cheerfully away. They get one last surprise, though, when Gummy parachutes down to them from the upper reaches of the room. From here, wipe to Spike walking down a Ponyville street. The deep blue funk that has settled over him evaporates in an instant as she gallops into view and past him.)

Spike: Pinkie!

Pinkie: I don’t have Rarity! (Her passage leaves him spinning wildly in place.)

Spike: Whoa!

(Down he goes, losing his cap but not his scarf. The reptilian green eyes fire a steely glare after her as he sets the headwear back in place and Rarity steps up behind him.)

Rarity: Oh! (He glances up; she laughs gently.) How’s your shopping going, Spike? (He bounds upright and assumes a forced casual air.)

Spike: Uh, fine. (Big stupid grin and blush; she leans down to him.)

Rarity: (whispering) Which pony did you get?

Spike: I…can’t…remember?

Rarity: I’ve got Applejack, darling. She’s going to adore her present. (sitting on haunches, indicating her hat) There’s a brilliant designer in Manehattan, Fedora Felt, who makes the most marvelous hats. I asked for a new take on Western chic that would be the envy of every farm pony in Equestria.

Spike: That’s a great gift, Rarity! (blushing) I…hope I can find something for my pony as special as you are.

(It takes him a second to realize that he may have tipped his hand and do a huge double take.)

Spike: (hastily) She is! (sputtering) Uh…bye!

(He peels out in a cloud of dust, leaving one justifiably perplexed unicorn to stare after him. With a shrug, she stands up and trots back the way she came. Dissolve to Fluttershy and Rainbow proceeding down a busy street—the blue pegasus in a considerably worse mood than the yellow one.)

Rainbow: Okay, what about your favorite food? (They stop; Fluttershy thinks a moment.)

Fluttershy: Oh, I couldn’t pick just one. What if it hurt the other foods’ feelings?

Rainbow: Riiiight. But there’s gotta be something you really, really like.

Fluttershy: I really, really like… (Rainbow leans in, grinning expectantly.) …everything! (The grin jumps ship.) Why do you ask?

Rainbow: (trying to play it off) Just…getting gift ideas…uh, for my pony, who isn’t you. (Fluttershy peeks in a jewelry shop window.) So, uh, is there anything you don’t like?

(Cut to just inside, the camera aimed at the pair.)

Fluttershy: (slightly muffled by glass) Hmmm…not liking things.

(Rainbow growls to herself, struggling not to let it turn into a salvo of bad language, and lifts off. Outside again, an overhead shot; she arcs away from her less-than-helpful shopping partner.)

Fluttershy: (waving, calling after her) I hope that helped!

(Cut to within the shop again, the camera now framing a necklace on display atop a sales counter as she aims her gaze at it and lifts the paper she drew from Applejack’s hat. Her happy reverie disintegrates the moment that Spike zips up alongside; their next two lines are muffled by the window glass.)

Spike: Hey, Fluttershy! Thinking of getting that for your Hearth’s Warming Helper?

Fluttershy: (nodding) Mmm-hmm. She loves shiny things.

(The grin on the scaly violet face widens a notch; cut to outside again. He paces away from her, playing it up for effect.)

Spike: I wish I knew what my secret pony wanted. She’s so hard to shop for.

Fluttershy: Oh, no! Uh, maybe I could help—unless you don’t want to—

Spike: (hastily, holding up his slip) Rainbow Dash.

(It does indeed bear her cloud and lightning bolt.)

Fluttershy: Oh! I was just talking to Rainbow Dash about things—

Spike: Great idea! We should trade ponies!

(He switches the two papers before she can get out so much as a syllable; she drops to her haunches for a brief moment to glance at her new assignment, then stands up again.)

Fluttershy: Uh, wait. Trade?

Spike: Well, Applejack said it’s not against the rules, and you know what Rainbow Dash likes, so it’s perfect!

(Opening the one he has just commandeered, he finds himself staring at Rarity’s cutie mark and affects a gasp of ersatz disbelief.)

Spike: Rarity? (grinning/pacing, eyes shining) What a surprise! (Laugh.) Thanks!

(The conniving Casanova bugs out, leaving Fluttershy to glance confusedly at her new target.)

Applejack: (trotting into view) There you are! I need your help.

Fluttershy: (showing her the Rainbow slip) Do you want to trade names too?

Applejack: (pushing her hoof away) What? No. I-I just need help figurin’ out what to get Spike.

Fluttershy: (relieved, wiping forehead) Phew!

(Wipe to a street filled with market stalls and ponies hard at their shopping tasks. Rainbow flies out of a shop at the far end of the row, the door slamming behind her. Cut to a close-up of her and the candelabrum she is carrying, loaded with roughly striped candles in two shades of gray. Her attitude has not brightened a bit since trying to pick Fluttershy’s brain.)

Rainbow: Candle, great, whatever. Fluttershy shopping, done!

(A scoff delivered in Discord’s voice causes the red-violet eyes to pop very wide, and the whole thing turns in her hooves to show the snaggle-toothed face on the large central candle. The two side holders begin to move like arms as the daredevil comes to a midair stop.)

Discord: You can’t honestly be serious.

Rainbow: (freaked out, throwing him) Ghost candle!

(He crashes into a door and slides down into the snow piled at its base with a glower.)

Discord: A candle is what you buy when you have no idea what to get somepony.

Rainbow: (groaning, landing) What do you want, Discord?

(The animate candelabrum vanishes and is replaced by the full-sized draconequus, who bends to stare down at Rainbow as she drops briefly to her haunches. Unlike the locals who have been out and about, he wears nothing to ward off the cold.)

Discord: Fluttershy told me about this Hearth’s-whatever-it’s-called. (flying around her) I may not be invited, but I wanted to make sure she gets a quality gift.

(He holds up the large central candle on the end of this, then slam-dunks it into a trash can produced from nowhere and stands up.)

Rainbow: (hovering, retrieving/dusting it off) I tried asking her what she likes, but she likes everything! 

Discord: Well, she says that— (leaning into her face) —but her real friends know what she actually likes.

Rainbow: I’ve known her a lot longer than you have.

(A flash, and he has transported himself a few feet back and attired himself in a bright blue ringmaster’s jacket trimmed in gold, white dress shirt, dark gray vest and bow tie, and a blue top hat with a black band. The lion paw holds a hoop over a candle for a procession of fluffy lambs to jump through, climbing up one ramp for the run-up and landing on another.)

Discord: Then you must surely know that lit candles around adorably flammable animals make her nervous, don’t you?

(Rainbow flicks a worried look at the candle she holds, then pitches it over her shoulder with a scowl and snarl as the lambs’ bleating drifts over to her.)

Rainbow: Fine. (flying away) I’ll get her something else.

(She is almost immediately accosted by Discord, who has traded his ringmaster getup for an old-style leather aviator’s helmet and goggles, accented by a long red scarf. He holds a steering wheel and is “sitting” as if in the pilot’s seat of an airplane.)

Discord: (flipping goggles up) Perhaps I’ll tag along to steer you in the right direction.

(The lenses go back down over the red eyes, and he turns the wheel to veer sharply away—snagging her in his tail and dragging her out of view before she can react.)

Rainbow: (from o.s.) Whoa!

(Tilt down to a long shot of the Castle and School of Friendship and cut to Spike blissfully entering his bedroom inside. Shutting the door behind himself, he runs an eye over the bit of parchment he swiped from Fluttershy and clasps it to his heart.)

Spike: I can’t wait to give Rarity her gift. (pacing, twirling) It’ll be just as special and beautiful and amazing as she is. Just imagine when she opens it and sees… (suddenly unnerved) …uh, sees…

(His resolve completely fails him, and he hurls the slip aside to flutter down.)

Spike: (sobbing) I have no idea what to get her!

(His rump hits the floor as he breaks into a panicked crying jag. Fade to black.)

Act Three

(Opening shot: fade in to a long overhead shot of the mountain plateau on which the village of Rainbow Falls is built, as seen in “Rainbow Falls” and “Trade Ya!”Ponies walk the paths beaten through the snow that lead among stalls and buildings as the camera zooms in slowly. On the start of the next line, cut to Applejack and Fluttershy moving among the crowd.)

Fluttershy: I come to the Rainbow Falls Hearth’s Warming Craft Fair every year. They have perfect presents for anypony.

Applejack: (as both stop) Hopefully anydragon, too. (Nudge.) Want to split up? Meet back here in an hour?

Fluttershy: Sure.

(They head in different directions, Fluttershy spotting a book on display at a stand of Daring Do merchandise—the one written as a result of the explorer’s team-up with Rainbow in “Daring Don’t.” As she reaches for it, a familiar voice startles her into backing off and the speaker—a cream-colored unicorn stallion in a sweater, slacks, and fur-lined hat—races into view. Spectacles rest over the green eyes and a brown mustache droops under the nose, but the voice, coloration, and red/white-striped mane/tail are enough to give the new arrival away as Flam.)

Flam: (waving behind himself) Oh, no! There’s only a few left!

(He gallops ahead, followed by a knot of eager spectators that sends Fluttershy huddling to the ground. Within moments, all have congregated at a stall marked by the boater hats that form part of the Flim Flam Brothers’ signature outfits. Flim is behind the counter, sporting a limp gray mustache, a matching wig that fails to completely cover his mane, and pince-nez spectacles. He has donned a red vest over a gray dress shirt with rolled-up sleeves, paired with slacks and a striped necktie.)

Flim: Fillies and gentle-colts! (One mare lays down some bits; he telekinetically scoops them up and floats a box to her.) We want you all to have the best holiday your bits can buy! (She departs with her purchase.) But there are only a limited number left!

(Fluttershy steps up next to Flam, at the back of the crowd.)

Fluttershy: Limited number of what?

Flam: Why, you don’t know about Holly the Hearth Warmer? (Incredulous gasps from the spectators.)

Flim: (to Fluttershy) You seem like somepony looking for a gift for a very special friend!

Fluttershy: (stepping up) I am!

Flim: A friend who wouldn’t want to miss out on the must-have gift everypony is talking about?

Fluttershy: She certainly wouldn’t want to miss out on that.

Flim: A truly awesome friend who deserves something twenty percent cooler than any other gift out there?

Fluttershy: That sounds just like her!

Flim: Well, look no further!

(He ducks out of sight and extends one front hoof. Balanced on it is a box identical to the one he sold to the previous customer; seen in profile, it has an open front to show off a doll within.)

Flim: (from o.s.) This is it!

Fluttershy: Oh, oh! H-How much does it cost? (Cut to Flim.)

Flim: (slyly) How much do you have?

(A predatory grin curves the lips behind the fake mustache. Wipe to a close-up of a haphazardly stacked mass of hay bales and furniture. A stool is tossed into view to balance precariously among the lot, after which the camera zooms out to put it on an open-air stage among the huts of Yakyakistan. Quite a few of the locals have gathered to watch or contribute materials, and a blond-maned yak throws a stool up to knock away the freshly added one. Prince Rutherford steps into view to address him.)

Rutherford: (scornfully, stomping for emphasis) Yojan! Is that good angle for optimal smashing?

(An over-shoulder glance informs Yojan that some of the others are snickering silently at his lack of expertise in this field; grumbling, he dips his head and stalks away. Rutherford has just enough time for one irritated little snort before Pinkie drops into view to land on his helmeted noggin and cover his eyes, knocking his crown off.)

Pinkie: Guess who!

Rutherford: Yojan?

Pinkie: No, silly.

Rutherford: Ingvill! Tormand? No, no, wait. Grunhorn!

Pinkie: Nopity-nope, nein, and nyet! (She jumps off to face him, on hind legs with forelegs spread wide.) It’s me!

(The shaggy sovereign shifts the hair away from one eye to get a good look at her and grins.)

Rutherford: Aw, Prince Rutherford knew it pink pony all along. Yaks best at guessing. (The crown goes back on.)

Pinkie: Yaks best at everything! That’s why I’m here. Sorry to interrupt Snildar Fest, but I need help. Can you tell me where to find… (imitating him) …best gift ever?

(Snildar Fest, recall, is the traditional yak festival of smashing things mentioned by Yona in “The Hearth’s Warming Club.” During the previous line, Yojan tries to scale the pile, only to have it collapse under his weight and dump him on his back. Her last word is accompanied by a long overhead shot of the gathering and an echo that startles a flock of birds into cawing flight. When the camera cuts to ground level, all eyes turn toward Rutherford, who sputters a bit at the sudden attention and hastily throws out a foreleg to pull Pinkie closer.)

Rutherford: Not here. (beckoning) Follow this way.

(She is only a step behind him in an abrupt exit. Cut to just inside the entrance to one hut; he steps into view to pull the blanket shut across it, then turns away to cast his face in an eerie glow. The following exchange is delivered in hushed tones except where noted.)

Rutherford: Prince Rutherford about to tell honorary yak friend something very top-secret.

(The camera shifts to frame Pinkie standing in front of him; she pulls a stool into view and plops her rump on it, hunching down with front hooves mashed expectantly to cheeks.)

Pinkie: Honorary yak friend listening.

Rutherford: Yaks best at all things, except one. (Furtive side-to-side glance.) Yaks not best at giving gifts.

Pinkie: (gasping deeply, full volume, jumping off stool) What?! (He clamps her lips shut between his hooves.)

Rutherford: I know. It hard to believe.

(Normal volume resumes at this point.)

Pinkie: (dropping to haunches) How am I gonna figure out how to get Twilight the best Hearth’s Warming gift ever?

Rutherford: Oh, no worry, honorary yak. (crossing o.s.) Prince Rutherford keep secret map in perfectly organized files.

(There follows a great clatter of items being rummaged through, a few of which are flung into view toward the visitor. Once the commotion dies down, she stands and pivots to find Rutherford unrolling a document.)

Rutherford: Best gift-givers up northern pass— (Close-up of it being spread on the floor—a map. He continues o.s.) —where sky shimmers and glows. (Back to the pair.) There, secret gift-giver grove. Only yak princes and pink honorary yak know.

(After a quick look at the map, said honorary yak draws a front hoof across her mouth to zip it shut. She delivers her next line without moving her lips and in a slightly muffled tone.)

Pinkie: My lips are sealed.

(The map is scooped up and rolled in an instant; cut to an overhead shot of the outside area as she bolts from the hut and stops dead in front of the Snildar Fest preparations. Now the zipper is gone again and her voice rings out loud and clear.)

Pinkie: TIME FOR MY TOP-SECRET QUEST TO THE GIFT-GIVERS!!

(She gallops away, leaving more than a few confused yaks in her wake. Dissolve to a line of less-than-happy ponies outside a shop in Ponyville, all with sizable freights of packages stacked up on the ground nearby. Zoom in slowly and cut to a slow pan through the interior; the situation is no better here, and Rarity steps up to the counter as a stallion departs. The presence of Derpy Hooves in her brown/white delivery outfit marks this place as the post office, and Rarity rings a desk bell as the gray pegasus ducks down to retrieve something. Not until the third ring does she straighten up and offer a cross-eyed smile. Rarity and all the other customers in here are still wearing their winter items, and she has propped her sunglasses on her forehead.)

Derpy: Oh, hi, Rarity! How can I help you?

Rarity: I expected a package today, and I was wondering where that might be.

Derpy: Oh, okay. (scooping up/reading pages on counter) Uh, let’s check…Name?

Rarity: (slightly puzzled) Uh, Rarity?

(A bit of throat-clearing, humming, and scattering of pages accompanies Derpy’s duck to look behind the counter.)

Derpy: Oh! (She comes up with a sheet.) Here we go! Your package was delivered to Sweet Apple Acres.

Rarity: (horrified) What?! It was supposed to be delivered to Rarity’s boutique!

Derpy: (checking page) Um…okay, but now, the package was for Applejack, and she is at Sweet Apple Acres.

Rarity: (snarling quietly) Yes, it’s for Applejack, but I will be delivering it.

Derpy: (fumbling for words) That’s my job.

(The frazzled fashionista claps a hoof briefly to her own face and works herself around to a patient smile.)

Rarity: It’s a gift for Applejack, from me.

Derpy: (gasping) What if she opens it? It shouldn’t go to Sweet Apple Acres! (checking paperwork) Oh! Wait! (A magnifying glass is brought to bear.) It went to Sweet Acorn Orchard instead! (Laugh; wipe face with one wing.) Oh, well, that’s a relief.

Rarity: (testily) Why is that a relief?

Derpy: (poking her nose) Because Applejack’s not in Sweet Acorn Orchard. (Rarity sits on her haunches and rubs the spot.) Do you want me to get the package and deliver it to her?

Rarity: NO!

(Having drawn a funny look or two from the ponies lined up behind her, she gets herself back under control and clears her throat with a big strained grin.)

Rarity: May I have the address for Sweet Acorn Orchard? I think I’ll just collect the package myself.

Derpy: Are you sure? ’Cause I would be happy to— (Rarity’s magic snatches away the page she holds.)

Rarity: (standing up) You have helped so much already.

(She hurries out of the post office with it, careful to keep her face turned so that Derpy cannot see the souring of her expression. Here comes the next customer, a unicorn stallion levitating a package up toward the counter.)

Derpy: Break time!

(She blissfully sinks from sight, leaving him to drop the item on the floor and scowl after her absence. Wipe to Spike walking through Ponyville.)

Spike: Shopping for Rarity. No problem. She likes lots of stuff. I just need something extra-special. (The next speakers hold samples of their wares out as he passes.)

Vendor 1: Brand-new, top-of-the line sewing equipment?

Vendor 2: A priceless rhinestone necklace?

Vendor 3: A sculpture of Rarity made from smaller sculptures of Rarity!

(A length of wrapping paper swings past the camera; behind it, wipe to a close-up of the little guy moving against a sparkly pink backdrop. Various items float past: gem, hairbrush, assorted pieces of jewelry.)

Spike: (gasping) Ooooh…wow! Awesome! (increasingly unnerved) Shopping for Rarity. Slight problem—she likes lots of stuff.

(Zoom out quickly to a long shot as the street background reappears.)

Spike: BUT NOTHING IS SPECIAL ENOUGH!!

(The ponies who have stopped dead to witness this outburst go about their day as he pitches face-first to the roadbed. Here come Rainbow and Discord through the air, the latter having ditched the pilot getup he used in Act Two. Cut to just inside a shop window as Rainbow plants both front hooves on the pane from outside for a look in; she grins, but a dismissive sigh from Discord ruins the vibe and she eases aside to glance back at him.)

Discord: (slightly muffled by glass) Goodness, no!

(The ace flyer groans and moves on; outside, she hovers toward a door in profile close-up, ready to nip its knob in her teeth.)

Discord: (from o.s.) Even worse!

(This spot proves to be in front of the Ponyville Spa, as evidenced when she turns to glare up at Discord’s face on the mare that adorns its sign.)

Rainbow: Oh, come on! Fluttershy would love a spa day!

Discord: Really? (pulling his entire body out of the sign) Love the stress of deciding which treatment to get? Love worrying that she’s not relaxing enough or relaxing too much? And what about all those sweet animals she’s left alone? So much to worry about, and all because of you.

Rainbow: She’s Fluttershy! Everything makes her worried!

Discord: Now you sound like somepony who knows her.

Rainbow: Well, if you’re such an expert on Fluttershy, what did you get her?

Discord: (indignantly) Oh, and you honestly expect me to tell you what I got Fluttershy so that you can one-up me? Well, I have half a mind to stop helping you entirely!

(On this last sentence, he pivots briefly to put the right half of his body toward the camera, ten back again to show that the left half has completely vanished as if split down the center. It reappears in the next shot.)

Rainbow: (landing, walking away) Good! Please stop helping me! I’m begging you!

Discord: Well, I suppose I could tell you what my backup present was.

Rainbow: (sourly) Great. Still helping.

Discord: (cajoling tone) It would have made a lovely addition to her animal sanctuary—but you have to be the fastest pony in Equestria to even have a chance of—

(Rainbow stops in her tracks on these last few words, eyes widening in stung pride, and takes flight to double back and cut him off.)

Rainbow: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You’re talking to the fastest pony in Equestria. (Close-up.) If there’s some fast animal out there Fluttershy would love, I’m the one who can get it. (Zoom out to frame Discord on the next line.)

Discord: (with exaggerated uncertainty) Oh, I just don’t know.

Rainbow: I’m calling it. Dibs!

Discord: (smiling indulgently) If you insist.

(He vanishes with a snap; an instant later, a midair portal opens just long enough for his talons to reach through, grab Rainbow’s head, and drag her away. Dissolve to the Castle library, its floor littered with books and scrolls; Twilight has set up two portable blackboards in here and is plying a piece of chalk against one with her magic, the other having been filled already.)

Twilight: The ideal gift for Pinkie Pie needs to be A, unique; B, specific to her personality; and C, food-based.

(During this line, she draws circles around three small pictures arranged in a triangle—light bulb, balloon, donut, in that order. The circles around any two symbols overlap, and the center of the drawing—a Venn diagram, for those with a mathematical bent—falls within all three.)

Twilight: What is a unique food? (turning from board, setting chalk down) Cupcakes? Nah. Cookies? Nope. (increasingly worked up) Pies? Pastries? Pudding?

(A huge gasp; zoom in quickly to an extreme close-up of the violet visage.)

Twilight: Wait! (utterly enraptured, echoing slightly) Pudding!

(She shifts her magical grip to pull a book from a shelf and hovers up to flip pages.)

Twilight: (reading) “After defeating the windigos, the earth pony, pegasi, and unicorn nations prepared the first Hearth’s Warming meal together.” (flying down, landing by blackboard) “Chancellor Puddinghead made a pudding so delicious, legends were written about it.” This is it! (levitating chalk, pointing to bulb and balloon) Unique…totally Pinkie…the most incredible dessert ever!

(Close-up of the Venn diagram on the end of this; she notes the donut and adds a check mark to the overlap of the three circles. The chalk is then lowered and the book raised for another lightning-fast perusal, but worry begins to set in this time. Not even a good hard shake to check for any loose notes or pages can calm her down.)

Twilight: Where’s the recipe?

(Dissolve to Fluttershy looking among the goods for sale in Rainbow Falls. Applejack steps into view, sets down the bag in her teeth, and sits on her haunches.)

Applejack: I’ve narrowed down my choices for Spike to fire-dancin’ sticks or a Power Ponies comic—un-enchanted, I think.

(Each is held up as it is named; her last words refer to the group’s mishap with one of the issues in Spike’s collection during “Power Ponies.” After she finishes, Fluttershy presents one of the boxed dolls from the Flim Flam Brothers’ stall. Her back is to the camera, hiding the contents, but Applejack gets a good enough view to cry out in revulsion, hurl both gifts away, and recoil in fear as if the thing might come to life and attack.)

Applejack: What is that?

(A close-up reveals the plaything in full detail for the first time: a sloppily made stuffed pony with short strands of rope for a mane, a longer piece around the neck, and mismatched button eyes, one of which is within a breath of falling off.)

Fluttershy: (holding it up proudly) Holly the Hearth’s Warmer Doll! (nuzzling it) Isn’t she sweet?

(The teeth lock onto the ring attached to the free end of a pull string in back and tug it taut; when she lets go, it winds itself back in under the next line.)

Doll: (male voice) I love being an expensive toy! (Fluttershy grins broadly as Applejack stands up with a grunt of disgust.)

Applejack: Why’d you think that was a good gift for Rainbow Dash?

Fluttershy: It’s the must-have gift of the season, and in short supply.

(But the passing patrons—and the multiple dolls carried by each—would seem to put the lie to this assertion.)

Applejack: (dryly) Short supply, huh? (Big dumb grin from Fluttershy.) How much did that set you back?

Fluttershy: All my bits.

(It takes a second for that admission to sink all the way in and replace triumph with panic.)

Fluttershy: All my bits! (grinning hopefully, holding out a hoof) Can I borrow some for the train ride home? (Applejack passes her a few, which are swiftly tucked away.)

Applejack: Somethin’ about this here doll seems fishy— (covering nose briefly) —and I ain’t just talkin’ about the smell of that plastic. Where’d you get it?

(Her eyes follow one pointing yellow hoof and stop on the brothers’ stall, which has attracted a sizable crowd despite the drawn front curtain keeping them out. Applejack and Fluttershy ease toward it, but back off after a jump by the farmer does not give her a direct line of sight. However, these few steps do allow them a clear view of both Flam—wearing his clothing, but missing the glasses and mustache—and the loaded trolley he is pushing with his magic as he trots toward the tent. One of the side curtains is raised just long enough to let him in; cut to just inside as the two mares part the fabric, their eyes widening in shock. Across the way, Flim is in the process of applying his own costume, and Flam’s field settles the absent portions of his own into place. The sales counter has been freshly restocked with dolls, and hefty sacks of bits are tucked away beneath it. Outside, Applejack backs off and lets the curtain drop back.)

Applejack: (disgustedly) Flim and Flam! What are those two Hearth’s Warmin’ hooligans up to now?

(The glowering earth pony smacks one hoof into the ground as the view fades to black.)

Act Four

(Opening shot: fade in to an extreme close-up of an acorn on a leafless tree branch. It wobbles back and forth in the wind for a moment before dropping loose, and the camera zooms out and tilts down to frame Rarity walking a path through a stretch of trees that have long since bid farewell to their foliage for the winter. Her sunglasses are down over her eyes again since her visit to the post office, and the page with the address for Sweet Acorn Orchard floats before them in her magical grip. The discovery of a creaky, hanging wooden sign in the shape of an acorn is all the confirmation she needs; it stands at an opening in a fence that encircles a farmhouse, well, and outbuilding. Putting away the note, she steps to the porch and knocks at the door, which is answered by an earth pony stallion and mare. He is Oak Nut: orange-brown coat, green eyes, curly mane/tail in two shades of brown with a gray streak; red shirt, battered straw hat, cutie mark of a leafy branch with two acorns attached. She is Butternut: pale yellow-orange coat, brown eyes, straighter mane/tail in colors similar to his and with the mane in a bun; pale green dress with darker scarf and sleeve trim, cutie mark not immediately visible. The lines on both faces speak to long hours on the farm, and they speak with Southern accents that are not as pronounced as Applejack’s.)

Rarity: Uh, is this Sweet Acorn Orchard?

Butternut: It is, but we’ve never had nopony like you visit before. (Cut to frame her and Rarity.)

Rarity: Uh, Rarity. A-A pleasure. I’m actually here about a package that was recently deliv— (All three again on the next line.)

Oak: Oh, that was from you? (Grin; eyes tear up.)

Rarity: (laughing lightly) Oh, so it did arrive! Uh, if I could just—

Butternut: (jumping out, hugging her; Oak wipes eyes) We don’t know how to thank you.

Rarity: (totally bewildered) Thank me?

(Wipe to an extreme close-up of a cup being set on a table inside. Two acorns are dropped in, followed by enough tea to fill it up. A longer shot puts Rarity, Butternut, and Oak seated around a table in the kitchen; in addition to the cup and pot, a plate of cookies, another cup, and a bowl of the namesake nuts have been set out. Oak already has a third cup in hoof, and Rarity levitates hers up as Butternut sets the pot down. The latter’s dress is long enough to cover her cutie mark when she sits in her chair. Rarity is still wearing her fur hat, scarf, and shades.)

Oak: (stroking Butternut’s back) I was just sayin’ to Butternut, I wish we knew who our Hearth’s Warming miracle was.

Butternut: Oak Nut and I couldn’t believe it when we opened it. Pistachio said right away, whoever sent it just got him.

Oak: (adjusting hat) Says when he put it on, he could feel his destiny.

Rarity: (hesitantly, setting cup down) A-As an acorn farmer?

Colt voice: (scoffing, exuberantly) A farmer?

(This voice carries not a trace of the accent shared by the other two. An upward glance reveals the speaker standing on a loft platform accessible by a ladder. Pistachio is an earth pony colt with a very pale brown coat, green eyes dotted with birdcatcher spots at the outer corners, and a curly mane/tail in three shades of green—one of which only appears on the side of his forelock that is closer to his head. His cutie mark consists of a pistachio nut and leaf, and he wears a short brown kerchief at his throat and a gray cowboy hat with darker trim at the brim.)

Pistachio: Filly, please. This is a Fedora Felt original!

(He clambers down, exposing a light gray band on the hat, and removes it in close-up.)

Pistachio: Look at this bold stitching! These daring textures! It’s a whole new take on Western chic! There is no way I would wear it in the grove.

(He hugs it to himself; zoom out to frame his parents on the start of the next line.)

Butternut: (as Pistachio dons the hat) We don’t know where he got his fashion sense.

Oak: Heh, far as we know, a hat’s a hat.

Pistachio: Except when it’s art.

Butternut: Thank you, Rarity.

Pistachio: (taken aback) Rarity? (He leans into her face.) The Rarity?

Rarity: (nodding) Mmm-hmm.

Pistachio: You have to stay for lunch. I won’t take no for an answer!

(Cut to her perspective of the family, every face creasing into an expectant grin, then back to her on the start of the following.)

Rarity: Oh, uh, I, ooh, I would be delighted.

(A grin works its way across her features as well. Dissolve to a corridor within the Castle; the closed doors at the far end open under Twilight’s control to show her in the library just beyond. She steps out, levitating an open book at eye level.)

Twilight: The recipe for Chancellor Puddinghead’s magical pudding was filed under Magical Spells, not Recipes!

(Close-up; this book is not the one in which she learned of it, and a few hairs have sprung loose from her mane/tail to match her slightly crazed expression.)

Twilight: Only took four hours to figure that out. Let’s see… nutmeg, sugarplums, gingerbread, candy canes… (reading, reaching entrance hall) “Warning: To avoid untold culinary devastation, each ingredient must be measured with exact care.” (Stop; laugh madly.) Book, have you met me?!

(A knock at the closed front doors snaps her back to the here and now, and she pulls them open with her field to reveal a whole lot of nothing on the steps. This situation quickly remedies itself when Princess Cadence and Shining Armor lean into view from opposite sides of the frame, with Flurry Heart—bundled up in a snowsuit thick enough to make her form resemble a fat blue star—held in her mother’s magic.)

Cadence, Shining: Happy Hearth’s Warming! (Flurry coos and waves.)

Twilight: (floored) But…you’re early! Your scroll said you were coming tomorrow! (Cadence scoops up Flurry; the family steps in and Shining hugs Twilight.)

Cadence: Uh, the scroll we sent yesterday?

Twilight: (laughing weakly) Yesterday, right. (Zoom out quickly to frame the ongoing disorder.) WELCOME!!

(Close-up; the big brother puts a hoof to the little sister’s forehead as if checking for a fever.)

Twilight: Uh, what are you doing? (She pushes him back.)

Shining: (smugly) Decorations not up, frazzled mane, determined look… (stroking chin) …I’ve seen this before. What are you obsessing about this time, Twilie?

Twilight: (hastily, jumping in place) Nothing!

(Her placating grin does nothing to deter him from advancing a bit farther and running an eye over the holiday disarray.)

Shining: So decorations aren’t up because…?

Twilight: Uh, I thought it would be more fun if we all decorated it together! (Grin.)

Cadence: Oh, that sounds wonderful! We could start decorating right aw—

Twilight: After I finish one quick errand. Just a few ingredients! Nothing to obsess about here! (Strained laugh.) Make yourselves at home. Be right back, promise!

(And she is gone in a burst of teleportation magic.)

Cadence: She’s definitely freaking out about something.

Shining: Oh, yeah.

(Wipe to a snowy, wind-blown mountain landscape, the sky marked by glimmering ribbons of the aurora borealis. Pinkie hops effortlessly down each slope and up the next one in line before the view dissolves to a close-up of her straining to make headway in the teeth of a relentless blizzard. A particularly hard gust forces her backward and o.s., but an anchor on a rope is flung into view to embed itself into the snow so she can pull herself ahead. From here, dissolve to her riding a polar bear and stopping on one of the drifts to stare intently forward; cut to the sky and tilt down to a cabin at the far end of a clearing before her. It is ringed by trees decorated with warmly glowing Hearth’s Warming lights, and the path to the front door is marked by giant candy canes and lampposts striped in the same color scheme. The cabin’s chimney is decorated with lights as well. Pinkie hops down from the bear’s back and waves goodbye as it departs with a grunt, then turns her steps toward the cabin. Before she can get even one hoof to the door, though, it is thrown open and she is forced to jump backward in order to avoid catching its edge with her face. On the step is an elderly reindeer doe wearing a deep magenta shawl with a lighter stripe at its edge and secured with a jingle-bell brooch. Her coat is pale blue-gray with white on the ear tips and nose/mouth/underbelly, her curly mane and short tufted tail are the same two colors, the antlers and hoof tips are medium gray, and magenta eyes glare out through pince-nez spectacles. This is Aurora.)

Aurora: By Blitzen’s beard, it took you long enough!

(She whisks Pinkie inside with a smile, the latter’s yelp of surprise hanging in the air before the door slams shut. Cut to the pink party pony standing amid stacks of presents and looking properly confounded, and zoom out to frame more of the cabin interior on the next line. Nearly every square inch of table/shelf/floor space is crammed with gifts, and Aurora tranquilly threads her way through the profusion. Pinkie keeps her hat and scarf on throughout the following.)

Pinkie: Are you sure you were expecting me? (She hurries to catch up.) My name is—

Aurora: Pinkie Pie. (as both stop) I know, ’cause I know everything.

(The next voice to speak is the same one that delivered the narration at the start of Act One.)

Young female voice: Oh, don’t be silly.

(The speaker emerges from among the stacks. This one, Alice, is not much more than a fawn, with a light green coat and paler ear tips/nose/mouth/underbelly whose shades match her tail; a red bow with a jingle-bell clip rests at her neck. The eyes are a bright blue-green with birdcatcher spots under the outside corners, the antlers are a pale gray-green, and the short-cut, wavy mane is two shades of blue-green, one of whose hues matches her hoof tips.)

Alice: You only know what’s already happened, but you don’t know what she’s about to ask.

Pinkie, Alice: What am I about to ask? (Pinkie, stunned, shakes her head clear.) How did you know I was gonna say that?

(On the start of the next line, a third reindeer bounds down the stairs from the cabin’s upper story, leaving a trail of pinkish light in the air and almost seeming not to touch the boards as she moves. This one, Bori, is a doe considerably younger and taller than Aurora, and her antlers glow white with the magic that keeps her aloft and envelops a mixing bowl she has brought with her. Light pink coat with paler ear tips/nose/mouth/underbelly, matching her tail; deeper pink hoof tips; magenta eyes and two-tone curly mane; jingle-bell earrings; short, light yellow apron with darker trim on straps and waist. Together, these three are the Gift-Givers of the Grove.)

Bori: (playfully chiding tone) Will you two stop showing off? She doesn’t have all Hearth’s Warming.

Pinkie: Who are you reindeer?

Aurora: Aurora!

Bori: Bori!

Alice: (jumping in place) Alice!

Givers: The Gift-Givers of the Grove!

Pinkie: (clapping) Ooooh! And you can help me get Twilight the best gift ever?

Givers: (nodding) Mmm-hmm!

Aurora: What about those matching hats? They were so cute!

Pinkie: But that was—

Bori: —before she had to get just one gift for Twilight. (winking, nudging Aurora) Try to keep up, Aurora.

Alice: I’m gonna get that box Pinkie is gonna say she likes.

(Her antlers light up as she leaps nimbly away through the piles of goodies, leaving wisps of bluish light behind herself; meanwhile, Bori cuts her magic and lets her bowl down. Her antlers are a very pale gray, nearly white.)

Bori: Aurora remembers gifts that have already happened, Alice knows the gifts that are going to happen, I…just stay in the moment and keep the two of them in line. (Aurora throws her a funny look.) Speaking of, I believe we have a request for a gift?

(Both her antlers and those of the elder fire up, and they float/dart away to get to the job. The motes following Aurora’s moves are pale green.)

Aurora: (floating up a roll of wrapping paper)        The best gift is more precious than gold,

                                                        But it cannot be sold.

(She sends it over to Bori, who levitates a pair of scissors to snip a ribbon in two.)

Bori:                                                        When it breaks, it’s not ended,

(re-tying the pieces into a bow)                        For quickly it’s mended.

(Cut to Alice, hovering by a Hearth’s Warming tree.)

Alice:                                                        It can never be bought,

Yet is easily sought.

(An overly enthusiastic gesture turns a stack of gifts into a minor avalanche, she catches one with hoof-power and a second, small one in her magic.)

Alice: (dropping first box) Ah! (Close-up of the second; she continues o.s.) Here we go!

(She pulls it away, and she and Bori come to rest alongside Aurora, the youngest reindeer settling onto her haunches. The little box is swiftly tucked into the wrapping paper Aurora chose, adorned with the bow Bori made, and set on the floor for Pinkie to admire.)

Pinkie: Ooooh! I like that box!

Alice: (smugly, to Aurora/Bori) Told you.

(Cut to within it, the camera aimed up at the lid as Pinkie removes it to peek in. A flare of intense yellow light washes up toward her wondering blue eyes from just below the bottom edge of the screen; cut to the four as she hops up with an excited gasp.)

Pinkie: The perfect gift! Wow!

(After a long moment of staring raptly at the mystery item, she flops confusedly to her haunches.)

Pinkie: I don’t get it. (Alice’s magic floats the box up and replaces the lid.)

Alice: (knowingly) You will.

(Her power nestles it in the grip of Pinkie, who can only boggle at it as the camera zooms in slowly. Dissolve to Applejack and Fluttershy approaching the Flim Flam Brothers’ stall in Rainbow Falls; the front curtain has been raised, and the shady unicorns’ magic is adding a few bits to one of their overfull sacks.)

Flim: We said, no refunds!

(Applejack clears her throat loudly to get their undivided attention.)

Flim: (wearily) Oh. You.

Applejack: What are y’all doin’ with these dolls and that ridiculous getup? Don’t you have a resort to run?

Flim: (magically removing wig/mustache/glasses) It’s off season. (pulling Flam close) Besides, we’re planning an expansion.

Flam: (leaning down to Applejack, magically stacking coins) And expansions cost bits!

(As he backs away, the two mares are surprised to find the curtain closing behind them. Cut to a scale model of the brothers’ Las Pegasus resort, last seen in “Friendship University”; they rise into view behind it, Flam having shed his hat and mustache now.)

Flim, Flam: Flim and Flam’s Fro-Yo Flume Ride!

Fluttershy: (inching forward) Oh, that sounds fu— (Applejack stops her.)

Applejack: It ain’t no excuse for sellin’ cheap dolls to ponies! (Flim pulls Fluttershy close.)

Flim: We’re just giving ponies what they want. (Flam steps up on her other side.)

Flam: Shopping for the perfect gift is stressful.

Fluttershy: Oh, that’s true.

(Both stallions race away, and Flim pushes a crate full of dolls toward Flam.)

Flim: You want to get something that really stands out.

Fluttershy: (approaching them) I do! (Applejack growls and puts a hoof to her face.)

Flam: (levitating a box) And when you tell your friend you got them the hottest gift in Rainbow Falls, what’ll they say?

Fluttershy: “Woo-hoo”?

(Now too fed up for words, Applejack lets her hoof speak for her by whacking the nearest doll over the head.)

Doll: The more you spend, the more your friend knows you love them!

(It takes a nose-dive off the counter, box and all, and startles Fluttershy out of the transaction she has been ready to complete. The bits stacked on her proffered hoof are quickly put away as she aims a hard eye at the unscrupulous twins.)

Fluttershy: Oh, right! They really are good at selling things!

Flim: You may not like it—

Flam: —but technically, we’re not doing anything wrong.

Flim: Ponies are desperate for the right gift.

Flam: (leaning down to Applejack, levitating a doll) And who are you to tell them this isn’t it?

(Settling it into her foreleg, he ruffles her mane condescendingly and backs up next to Flim.)

Flim: (floating up another one) If ponies get tired of Holly after a few days… (The head falls halfway off.)

Flam: …or she falls apart, who really got hurt? (The remains are slung aside.)

Flim, Flam: Nopony!

(Cut to just outside the stall’s side as Flim’s magic shoves both mares out through the curtain.)

Flim: Don’t let the curtain hit you on the way out. (It falls shut.)

Fluttershy: (to Applejack) Of course Rainbow Dash wouldn’t want this! I’m so mad I could just kick!

(Cut to a close-up of a pebble in the grass on this last word. She gives it the faintest tap, causing it to move not a whit, and voices a tiny yelp and sucks on the hoof when the camera cuts back to her and Applejack.)

Applejack: (throwing doll aside) Convincin’ ponies to buy that doll ain’t in the holiday spirit!

Fluttershy: But Flim and Flam have a point. We can’t tell ponies what to buy.

(The wheels under the blond mane begin to turn as the camera pans quickly from stall to stall. A stallion buys a statue of a chicken from Minuette…another one, splattered in cherry jam, kisses a jar of the stuff as the proprietor offers an uneasy grin…a mare purchases a bouquet of flowers and sniffs them lovingly.)

Applejack: Huh. (smiling fiercely, pulling Fluttershy closer) But maybe we can show ’em!

(Dissolve to a close-up of a set of paw prints in snow, the camera tilting up to frame the top of a nearby hill as a hunched-down Rainbow rises into view beyond it. The prints are very small ones, and she smiles at the sight of them until the sound of feet crunching through snow interrupts. Here comes Discord in snowshoes, goggles, and a bulky yellow winter jacket and using ski poles for additional support. They do him absolutely no good, though, as he pitches onto his face and nearly buries Rainbow, who does an airborne sidestep just in time. The hour has advanced to late afternoon, and they are on a broad path leading through a forest.)

Rainbow: (groaning, flying ahead) Could you try to make less noise?

(The chaos master pulls his head free, showing goggles that have slid down to his nose and snow in the rough shape of a Santa Claus hat and beard. An idea occurs to him as the mess slides free. He keeps his voice down for his next five lines.)

Discord: Of course!

(A talon snap puts the blue mare in a white ninja outfit with a dark gray bandolier in close-up. Before she can fully make sense of the quick change, the camera zooms out to frame her fellow traveler now in a dark blue rig of his own, with a bandolier and a gray visor over the eyes.)

Discord: We’ll move silently…

(He throws something to the ground, which detonates in a cloud of smoke that clears to leave him gone. Just as quickly, he leaps back into view from behind the undergrowth.)

Discord: (crawling behind Rainbow) …blend into the shadows… (now in a tree) …the winter-chilla will never hear us coming. (She pulls down the mouth portion of her hood in close-up.)

Rainbow: (bewildered, normal volume) Winter-chilla?

(He leans down to her, having shed his ninja duds, as she closes her hood.)

Discord: Small, adorable, fuzzy, and fast. (The red eyes go big and shiny on “adorable.”) But they’re so rare, there’s no telling where they— (pointing past her, normal volume) —oh, there’s one right there!

(The camera cuts to a long shot of a small creature lying atop a rock in a clearing and sunning itself in a chance beam that has pierced the forest canopy. A quick zoom in proves it to be not unlike an oversized mouse with large gray ears and covered in fluffy white fur, a tuft of which sprouts from the end of its long, thin tail. Two huge, glistening oil-drop eyes turn inquisitively toward the pair.)

Discord: Now, if you’re going to get it, I think the first move is to be—

(He gets no further before Rainbow blazes ahead and returns a split-second later with the critter in hoof.)

Rainbow: (normal volume) —be super-fast.

(The trickster can manage no response beyond a smile and shrug as if to say, “Yeah, that works too.” Wipe to Spike sitting on the floor of his bedroom within the Castle. An umbrella lies open before him, some of its fabric panels covered in glitter from the bucket that rests in easy reach, and he finishes squirting white glue onto a couple of others. Propped up against the wall behind him is a small pink ukulele with a sparkly “Flying V” body and gem-studded neck, constructed from cardboard, string, and tape.)

Spike: Making a gift is way more personal than buying it.

(A handful of the sparkly stuff is scooped up and blown over the umbrella; Spike wipes his hand across his chest, not noticing the smudge it leaves behind.)

Spike: Rarity loves things that take time and effort.

(As he picks up a bottle of blue-tinted adhesive, the camera cuts briefly to a mélange of other homemade efforts—none of them particularly well-crafted—and then back to him. This glue goes onto a panel.)

Spike: I’m sure this one will be the one that works. (yawning, getting more glitter) I just need to stay focused and…

(Fatigue drops him onto his belly like a felled tree, the shiny particles dispersing into the air and slowly settling over his form as he snores. Every inch of him takes on a faint glow as a result. From here, wipe to a long shot of the Flim Flam brothers’ stall in Rainbow Falls, once again surrounded by clamoring would-be buyers, and zoom in on Flim behind the counter. He has donned the face/head portion of his disguise; the same will be true of Flam when seen next.)

Flim: Have a wonderful holiday, and remember— (floating up one mare’s bits, giving her a doll) —no refunds. Next!

(Flam, at the back of the gathering, is mildly shocked to see Applejack and Fluttershy trot up. They are no longer carrying the doll they were given in their last run-in with the hucksters.)

Flam: What are you doing here?

Applejack: (sweetly) Same as everypony else.

(She trots purposefully forward and slaps a few bits on the counter.)

Applejack: I want a Hearth’s Warmer. In fact, I want three!

Flim: Seriously?

Applejack: (gesturing to Fluttershy; she waves) After I saw my friend here with hers, I knew I had to buy some—for my granny, my brother, and my little sister.

Flim: (hastily, floating a bag to her) Yeah, yeah, great story. Next!

Fluttershy: (stilted) But, Applejack, your granny, your brother, and your sister—they are all so different. How can the same doll be the right gift for all of them?

(These words—clearly scripted—set off a ripple of confused murmurs that puts a real scare into Flam. Now Applejack adopts the stilted tone as well.)

Applejack: But, Fluttershy, this is the must-have gift of the season.

Fluttershy: Just because it’s must-have for one pony, doesn’t mean it’s must-have for everypony, does it?

Applejack: That’s true! I guess I need to put more thought into gettin’ the right gift for each pony. (to Flim) Can I return these?

Flim, Flam: NO REFUNDS!!

(More than a few newly suspicious eyes train themselves on Flam, whose own green ones flick apprehensively from side to side before his fake mustache slowly peels off to expose his real one. The glasses begin to slide down his nose, but he shoves them back into a place with a shaky grin. Applejack and Fluttershy revert to their normal manners of speaking.)

Applejack: (offering her bag to the mare behind her) Oh. Uh, you want ’em? I’m gonna go pick out gifts that are just as special as the ponies they’re for.

Mare: (smiling nervously) I think I’m gonna do some more shopping too.

(Her exit touches off a massed, grumbling retreat that clears the place out.)

Flim: Now hang on a moment! (He vaults over the counter and gallops out a few strides.) Wait! Come back!

Flam: Uh, we’ll give you a great deal!

Flim, Flam: Buy one and get one free?

(Neither their wheedling nor their desperate grins do anything to lure the ponies back in, so they charge off in search of fresh marks.)

Applejack: (to Fluttershy, sighing contentedly) The sweet sounds of the season.

(The pegasus stifles a giggle. Fade to black.)

Act Five

(Opening shot: fade in to the farmyard at Sweet Acorn Orchard. Rarity hurries out the farmhouse door, but stops and turns to face Oak and his family. Zoom in slowly.)

Butternut: It’s a shame you gotta leave.

Rarity: Oh, you’ve been so generous. But I must get home for a previous engagement. (winking at Pistachio, poking his nose) I’ll be keeping an eye on you, Pistachio. (He blushes and rubs the spot.) I have the feeling you’ve got quite the future in fashion.

(All three wave as she takes her leave, Pistachio lingering on the porch while his parents return inside. A thought strikes under the curly green mane, sparking him to glance up at his new hat and then scurry after Rarity.)

Pistachio: Rarity! Rarity! (She stops at the fence.) I love my parents, but…they don’t understand that we just had lunch with one of the most famous ponies in Equestria.

Rarity: (laughing lightly) I don’t know about “most famous.”

Pistachio: (dejectedly) I know you didn’t send a Fedora Felt original to some nopony you’ve never met from Nowhere, Equestria.

(Now sitting on his haunches, he removes the hat and casts a gloomy eye over it.)

Pistachio: I’m sure this is actually for somepony special, so… (offering it to her) …if you want it back, I get it.

(The glow of her horn lifts it from his grip, and she stares intently at it before speaking.)

Rarity: The hat is indeed for somepony very special.

(It settles itself back on his head at just the right angle, to his utter disbelief.)

Rarity: (crossing to him, touching his chest) And I couldn’t bear to see him part with it.

Pistachio: (gasping ecstatically) Oh, thank Celestia! Because I did not want to give this up! (Laugh.)

Rarity: (lifting his chin) But if I hear you call yourself a nopony again, you shan’t be my guest for Fashion Week in Manehattan.

Pistachio: (mind completely blown) Wha-What? S-Seri…wha…?

(She quiets his fumbling voice with a gentle hug, then trots away from the homestead as he energetically waves goodbye.)

Rarity: (to herself) Sorry, Applejack.

(Dissolve to the Rainbow Falls train station, where a train is parked, and pan across the plateau to a babel of shouting, angry voices. Flim and Flam bug out ahead of a crowd that is only a couple of ropes away from turning into a lynch mob, crates of their poor-quality goods floating in their auras. Cut to the platform as they scramble up onto it and begin squabbling, then zoom out through one car window as the train whistle sounds and the wheels begin to roll. Applejack is at the sill, smirking and watching the pair completely freak out.)

Applejack: Puttin’ those two in their places makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. (Longer shot: Fluttershy sits with her, bags on the floor.)

Fluttershy: Oh…but we never got gifts for Spike or Rainbow Dash, and it’s already Hearth’s Warming Eve.

Applejack: It probably ain’t what they’re expectin’, but…

(She ducks out of sight; close-up of Fluttershy as two of the dolls are held up to her.)

Applejack: (from o.s.) …we still got these. (Fluttershy recoils; she straightens up into view and continues softly.) Yay.

Fluttershy: Don’t do that.

(Wipe to a close-up of a caldron filled with pale green liquid in the Castle kitchen. Twilight’s magic drops in a candy cane and a piece of sugared fruit, which disappear into the depths, and the disheveled Princess leans intently into view. Each item is accompanied by a brief flash; the same will be true for all other components added during this scene. On the start of the next line, she brings up the book with the pudding recipe she was seeking earlier and the camera zooms out to frame Cadence and Shining entering and Flurry being carried in her mother’s foreleg. The entire royal family has shed the winter gear, and the caldron is a small one on a stovetop.)

Cadence: Flurry loved sledding! (Twilight levitates a spoon and begins to stir.)

Shining: (pointedly) Too bad her aunt wasn’t there.

Twilight: Shh!

(Up comes an eyedropper to add exactly one drop of liquid to the mix. She smiles, Flurry gurgles at the light show, and the book is snapped shut.)

Twilight: There! Ingredients measured exactly! (It lands on a table.) Now, what were you saying?

Shining: (slightly snarky) Hi! Remember us? We came all the way from the Crystal Empire for some quality family time?

Twilight: (crossing to them) Okay. I did get a little stressed about Hearth’s Warming this year.

(During this line, Flurry uses teleportation to switch her position with that of a small bag of flour on the table, unnoticed by all three adults. She quickly scoops up a stray cupcake, flies to the caldron to drop it in, and coos happily over the pyrotechnics.)

Shining: (laughing) What? You? Never.

Twilight: So my friends decided we should do a Hearth’s Warming Helper and give one pony a present to save time.

(Behind these words, the baby flaps across the kitchen and back, an assortment of cups/bowls/ingredients in her telekinetic hold, and another flare issues from the general direction of the stove to mark their addition. Brother and sister-in-law give Twilight a slightly hairy eyeball that lasts only a moment before being replaced by hearty laughter; behind her, Flurry pitches a gift box into the brew.)

Twilight: (puzzled) What? (A candy cane and bowl of sprinkles are tossed in under the following.)

Shining: Let me guess. You got super-worried about making sure the present was perfect and went all Twilie-nanas, didn’t you?

(He lets his eyes spin in their sockets on “Twilie-nanas.”)

Twilight: (scoffing, needled) I wasn’t Twilie-nanas! (She relents under his searching gaze.) Okay, fine, a little Twilie-nanas.

Cadence: Twilight, we know you get overwhelmed. You should have just told us. We could have helped.

Twilight: The good news is— (Flurry switches places with the flour sack, which falls into the caldron.) —Pinkie’s present is almost done. (as all four leave the kitchen) Then it’s just friends and family and a calm, quiet Hearth’s Warming Eve.

(Not a one of them is there to witness the augmented pudding as it starts to bubble glutinously and overflow its container, fragments of candy canes and cookies riding the slow surge down the sides and across the stovetop. Dissolve to a long shot of the Castle and School and zoom out as Rainbow and Discord touch down on a hilltop not far away. The sun is beginning to set, and the speedy mare has traded her ninja suit for her original winter gear and is carrying the cute little animal she caught—a winter-chilla—on one front hoof. She flies ahead, while he stands pat and turns tearfully away.)

Discord: (voice breaking) Goodbye. (Rainbow stops.) Enjoy your exclusive pony-only holiday gathering. I’ll just be home, spending quality time with myself.

(Right on cue, a wet-eyed duplicate of the joker plods into view and leads the original away. Rainbow looks down at her prize with an indecisive little grunt, then addresses the pair, who stop at her words.)

Rainbow: I wouldn’t have this little fellow without you, so… (Close-up.) …if you want to join… (smiling) …Fluttershy would love having you, and…I wouldn’t totally hate it.

(Zoom out quickly. The second Discord has vacated the premises, and the genuine article—now clad in a gray-trimmed white bathrobe and a fur-lined hat—sweeps her into an enthused hug.)

Discord: Great! Awesome! In that case—oh, look! Sunset! (Cut to the sun descending behind the Castle and School; he continues o.s.) It’s officially Hearth’s Warming Eve!

(Back to the pair, the stars already coming out above them. The winter-chilla surprises them by growing slightly and jumping clear with a feral little snarl; by the time it hits the ground several yards away, it is perhaps the size of a basketball and very much out of sorts.)

Rainbow: W-What is it doing?

(It voices a roar, the oil-drop eyes constricting to points, and sets of most intimidating teeth and claws manifest themselves—as do a trio of limbs that dig into the turf on one side. Overhead shot, zooming out slowly: Rainbow and Discord find themselves in a rapidly expanding shadow as the thing continues to bulk up and its menacing growl drifts over the forest.)

Discord: Oh, uh, did I forget to mention that the winter-chilla transforms into a winter-zilla when the sun sets?

(His chuckle is a marked contrast to the look of openmouthed horror that freezes itself onto Rainbow’s face. From here, cut to Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Rarity climbing the steps to the closed front doors of the Castle. All four are in decidedly low spirits.)

Fluttershy: How did everypony’s shopping go? (Next three lines overlap slightly.)

Rarity: Uh, well, uh—

Pinkie: Uh—

Applejack: (drawn-out, reluctantly) Yeah.

(The timid yellow pegasus bites the bullet and knocks.)

Spike: (muffled, through doors) Coming!

(One of them swings open so he can face them—covered with stray glitter/ribbons/tape and glimmering from head to toe. He gasps in surprise upon catching sight of the four, but quickly tries to compose himself with a shaky laugh.)

Pinkie: Did you get attacked by a party?

Spike: (looking himself over) Eh, I fell asleep—on somepony’s present.

(He flicks a loose speck off his nose and gives them a look that is equal parts surly and abashed. Long pause.)

Twilight: (from inside) RUN!!

(All five burst into the entrance hall, Applejack taking point and stopping short with a gasp. Cut to Twilight galloping full tilt, her mane/tail properly groomed after her kitchen shenanigans.)

Twilight: THE PUDDING IS COMING!!

(She rounds a corner, trailed closely by Cadence carrying Flurry, and Shining brings up the rear. Behind them, the pudding she was concocting surges into view as a green tsunami that buries everything in its path. The four join the group at the doors.)

Rainbow: (from outside) RUN!!

(The nine part to give a view of Rainbow and Discord approaching on the fly in the distance; close-up of them. One face shows panic, one general indifference and a hint of irritation, and no points for guessing which is which. Discord has shed his bathrobe and hat.)

Rainbow: THE WINTER-ZILLA IS COMING!!

(They dive for cover through the doorway an instant before the fluffy behemoth smashes through it. Standing on the hindmost of its three pairs of legs, the winter-zilla towers over them all by a factor of at least four. Its underbelly is still white, while the fur covering the rest of its body has gone pale blue. Twilight erects a hemispherical shield to protect the group from falling debris, but one guttural roar carries enough force to collapse it and shake the entire building. Zoom in slowly on the eleven, Discord grimacing in fear and the others gasping, and snap to black.)

Act Six

(Opening shot: fade in to the face-off in the entrance hall. The winter-zilla takes one thundering step toward the gang, whose retreat is cut off by the sheer mass of pudding slithering toward them. Attention shifts toward the latter threat. The five ponies who arrived in their winter threads are still wearing them.)

Rainbow: What is that? (Close-up of it oozing toward Cadence’s hind legs.)

Twilight: (from o.s.) Magic pudding! (The group again; she points ahead.) What is that? (The winter-zilla; it uncorks a roar.)

Rainbow: (from o.s.) A winter-chilla! (Twilight again.)

Twilight: (hoof to forehead) They turn into winter-zillas after dark!

Rainbow: Does everypony know this except me?

(One set of clawed digits swipes at them, scoring the nearest of misses, and Spike’s glittery image appears in the bright black eyes as the mouth below them stretches into a greedy smile. The winter-zilla crouches to look him straight on; in response, he cries out in fear and takes cover behind Twilight. She, in turn, gasps as a thought comes to her and faces the beast with a calculating smile.)

Twilight: You like the sparkly?

(Her next move catches Spike very much off goard—levitating him up and waving him in front of the giant, furry face, as seen when the camera cuts to its level and it straightens up.)

Twilight: (from o.s., propelling Spike off to one side; it grabs for him) Just follow it this way!

(It gives chase, angered at having its new toy yanked away, and Twilight takes wing as backup.)

Spike: Is this honestly the best plan we can come up with?

(She pulls him clear of the next snatch. Down below, Rainbow shoots a dirty look at Discord, who has summoned a recliner and is relaxing in it while eating popcorn from a bag; a soda is balanced on one armrest.)

Rainbow: Can’t you do something?

Discord: (gleefully) I did!

(A red bow appears on the side of the behemoth’s head, with his own at the central knot.)

Discord: This is Fluttershy’s gift.

Rainbow: What?!?

(Now the pudding exhibits a bit of distinctly un-dessert-like behavior by extending a pseudopod and latching onto one of Rarity’s hind legs.)

Rarity: (struggling to pull free) A LITTLE HELP, PLEASE?!?

Shining: (warming up horn) I’ve got this! (Cadence steps to his side, levitating Flurry into his foreleg.)

Cadence: (gently teasing) Which one of us can fly, darling?

(She lifts off and wastes no time in severing the sweet stuff’s grip with a beam. A blink later, she has swooped in to airlift the white mare, who has only enough time for a surprised yelp as the remnants flow away from her leg, and dodge more lashes while carrying her to the balcony.)

Shining: (to Flurry) Your mom sure is something.

(Floating the baby by his side, he gets a galloping start, leaps high to clamp his teeth on a banner, and swings across the upper reaches of the entrance hall. By the time he somersaults onto the balcony where Cadence and Rarity are safe, he has looped a foreleg around Flurry, avoided several grabs, and let the pudding have it with a spell of his own.)

Cadence: (chuckling, blushing) You’re not so bad yourself.

(A roar from down below reminds them that this is no time for lovey-dovey; cut to just outside the Castle’s trashed front entrance. No longer wearing the Discord bow, the winter-zilla reaches for Spike, who is still in Twilight’s telekinetic hold, but it slips on one of the steps and goes down flat on its face. As it gets upright, something new draws its attention—a string of ornamented garland, as reflected in its widening eyes. Retreating into the Castle, it pulls a stretch loose and starts picking off the baubles and crunching down on one after another.)

Twilight: (flying in, waving Spike around) No, no, no, not that sparkly, this one!

(Annoyed at having its snack interrupted, the winter-zilla flicks the dragon away to hit the wall with his back.)

Spike: Uh, I’m okay if he doesn’t want to chase me anymore!

Applejack: How are we gonna get rid of this thing?

Discord: (fed up, throwing popcorn aside) Oh, for Scorpan’s sake! (He poofs out of his chair and over to Applejack/Fluttershy/Pinkie/Rainbow.) Hel-looo? If only one of you had a way with animals?

(This last is accompanied by his transformation into no fewer than four brightly lit arrows that all point down at Fluttershy, one of them bearing his eyes.)

Fluttershy: Oh, my.

(She fretfully pulls up the collar of her sweater to cover the lower half of her face, as if wishing she could turn it into a turtle’s shell and hide away entirely. As the winter-zilla keeps chowing down on the garland, she flies up to address the back of its head.)

Fluttershy: Uh— (Clear throat.) —excuse me. (Its answering roar sends her tumbling to the floor.) Whoa!

(The long pink mane has fallen across her face, but is shifted aside just enough to expose one blue-green eye narrowed in steely determination. She lifts off again to get in the beast’s face, all traces of fear gone.)

Fluttershy: This is supposed to be the happiest time of year. (It quails before her.) So if this is how you plan on behaving— (pointing toward doorway) —you can march yourself right back to where you came from!

(It starts bawling its eyes out and plops onto its haunches, but quiets at her approach.)

Fluttershy: (gently) Aww, your family is gone for the holidays and you’re all alone? (Affirmative grunt; she hugs as much as she can reach.) I’m so sorry. If you calm down, I’m sure you could join us.

(This offer earns her a trembling smile. Down at ground level, the pudding continues its sludgy advance and Discord is himself again. One tendril extends to tap Pinkie on the rump; she turns around, yells in fear, and dives to avoid being caught. Rainbow gasps as Twilight zaps this bit away with a horn blast; the Princess gasps and fires again when it begins to reform. Discord teleports away from the battle zone, while Rainbow hoists Applejack clear to leave only Twilight and Spike on the scene—the latter no longer being slung around as bait. Both take to the air, Twilight getting in a few more shots to beat back this kitchen nightmare; once Applejack and Rainbow are up on the balcony, the view cuts to just behind her.)

Pinkie: (from o.s.) Uh…

(Pan to her, riding the tide on an inner-tube pool float styled to resemble Princess Celestia.)

Pinkie: …maybe leave the baking to me next time? (Weak giggle.)

(The curly magenta forelock produces a spoon and scoops up a sample for her to taste.)

Pinkie: Actually, it’s pretty good! (Twilight’s beam blasts away a tendril, spooking her into dropping the spoon.)

Twilight: (proudly, flying to her) Chancellor Puddinghead’s recipe.

Pinkie: Now that’s an impressive dessert!

Twilight: It’s your Hearth’s Warming present.

Pinkie: (touched) Really? That’s so thoughtful. (Another one looms up behind Twilight.)

Twilight: (laughing) It took a lot of research, but I—

(Her boast is cut short when a beam from Shining lances in from above to wipe out the ambush. Looking toward the balcony, she finds him and the rest of the group, save Fluttershy.)

Shining: MAYBE FOCUS ON THE TASK AT HOOF, TWILIE?

(Kicked back to reality, she glances toward the door and sees the whimpering winter-zilla backing slowly away from the wave front with Fluttershy riding on its head.)

Twilight: Right. The recipe needed to be exact. I think Flurry Heart added something while I wasn’t looking, but I have no idea what to add to adjust it. (Pinkie starts thinking.) A teaspoon of nutmeg? Three sugarplums? Extra—

Pinkie: Gingerbread? Four more candy canes?

Twilight: How do you know the recipe?

(The resident expert on all things sweet and yummy turns away, her pupils/irises dilating to almost fill her eyesockets as a mental thunderclap occurs under the fluffy mane. Zoom in quickly through one pupil to black out the screen, then fade in to her Act Four visit to the Givers—the moment after she has opened the small gift box given to her by Alice and looked at the glowing item inside. The colors are washed out, and the image is slightly faded around the edges.)

Pinkie: I don’t get it.

Alice: (knowingly) You will.

(Fade to black and zoom out through Pinkie’s pupil to frame her dumbstruck face again; she lifts the box, stares at it for a long moment, and leans smilingly toward Twilight.)

Pinkie: Happy Hearth’s Warming, Twilight! (jumping clear; the float is dragged under) I’M YOUR HEARTH’S WARMING HELPER!!

(She plunges into the sugary green morass and is instantly lost to sight. Disbelieving gasps all round—from Twilight, then Fluttershy and the winter-zilla, then the bleacher bums up on the balcony—and then a few loose ingredients float up to the surface as the contents of her present. Four candy canes, a pony-shaped gingerbread cookie, a few gumdrops, a stick of cinnamon, and an open jar whose contents have spilled out—all glow brightly where they rest, the glare growing to fill the screen. Snap immediately to a long shot of the splashdown site; the light spreads to encompass the whole of the whacked-out pudding and is gone again, all the tentacles vanishing to leave only a quiescent expanse of green slop. After a long, silent moment, Pinkie’s head breaks the surface and Twilight wastes no time in levitating her up into a grateful hug. Fluttershy and the winter-zilla have both covered their eyes; the creature is first to hazard a glance, and its happy reaction prompts the pegasus to scope out the area. Her relieved giggle is followed by laughter from all those on the balcony save Discord, who has magicked his recliner up here and is sitting in it to take notes on a clipboard.)

Discord: (bored) Uh, a bit “reindeer ex machina,” but… (excitedly; a giant talon and lion-paw digit appear, pointing upward) …two thumbs way up!

(Each one sprouts a rocket exhaust nozzle and lifts off toward the ceiling.)

Discord: Whoo!

(They explode in a display of fireworks that stretches over the entire entrance hall. Dissolve to a sitting room elsewhere in the Castle; all have cleaned up and shed their winter clothes and other trappings. The place is fully decked out, and all but Twilight are sitting around a warmly glowing fireplace whose mantel is set with rag dolls in the likenesses of the six ponies and one dragon. Twilight enters carrying two bowls of pudding in her magic; with the exception of Pinkie, the others are digging into bowls of their own.)

Twilight: (passing one to Pinkie) Sorry for failing as a Hearth’s Warming Helper, Pinkie.

(She sets the other bowl down, Pinkie puts hers aside and stands up.)

Pinkie: What? (Close-up of the two.) With no pudding disaster, my gift with the exact ingredients wouldn’t have made any sense. (hefting her bowl) This way, it was perfect.

(Rather than waste time with the spoon, she sits again and takes the direct approach by shoving as much of her face into the container as will fit. A soft, dejected sigh from the o.s. Rarity; cut to her, Applejack, and Spike on the floor near a chair shared by the Crystal Empire’s royal family.)

Rarity: At least Twilight has something to show for her effort. I ordered you a fabulous farm hat, Applejack. Alas, it decided it belonged to somepony else.

Applejack: (smiling, removing her hat) Pop said, “Sometimes the hat chooses the pony,” when he gave me this. (On again.) Hopefully my gift inspired whoever’s wearin’ it to be the best farmer ever.

(Spike, meanwhile, has acquired one of the cheap dolls that she and Fluttershy brought back from Rainbow Falls and is poking at it quizzically.)

Rarity: Ah…ooh…something like that.

(He manages to rip one limb off; across the way, the one that Rainbow has found is getting a funny look of its own. Pinkie has set her bowl aside and cleaned her face.)

Fluttershy: We’re really sorry about your gifts. (The blue flyer throws it aside and grins.)

Applejack: We got a bit distracted with Flim and Flam’s shenanigans.

(Spike hastily sets his off to one side; a moment later, its head falls off and rolls away.)

Doll head: Commercialism is the greatest gift of all!

(Without a word, Discord zaps both it and the body with pinpoint beams from his lion paw, leaving no trace except for two charred spots on the floor.)

Rainbow: They’re better that my gift. (sighing heavily, to Fluttershy) Sorry about the winter-zilla.

Fluttershy: (giggling) Oh, he’s a big sweetheart. And he ended up being really helpful.

(The entire room shakes to the tune of a thundering footfall, and the giant rodent squeezes in through the open doors—this time without damaging the surrounding masonry. It carries an appropriately sized bowl of pudding and sits down in a corner to begin lapping at it.)

Fluttershy: (blushing) It was actually kind of nice to be the pony who saved the day for once.

Discord: (slyly) Oh, really? (leaning toward Rainbow from various angles as she eats) You mean a giant beast that only Fluttershy could tame, making her the hero of Hearth’s Warming Eve, was a great gift?

(One pop of magic shifts him away to stand among the group, and a second one causes the patch of floor on which Fluttershy sits to rise clear on a pedestal. It stops when she is roughly at his eye level; a first-place medal appears around her neck, a bright red feather boa across her shoulders, and a trophy in her hoof to match the medal—all to her very great surprise.)

Discord: Imagine that.

(A rain of confetti and streamers only increases the animal lover’s confusion.)

Rainbow: (sputtering indignantly, flying up to Discord) You mean, you tricked me into putting my friend in danger on purpose so you—

(He silences her with a talon pressed to her nose and points to where Fluttershy and the winter-zilla are sharing a giggly, growly nuzzle.)

Rainbow: (smiling, pushing talon down) Uh, let’s just say it was from both of us. (They shake on it.)

Applejack: I guess Hearth’s Warmin’ Helper was kind of a disaster.

Cadence: I don’t know. Ponyville always seems to have way more exciting holidays than the Crystal Empire.

(As she speaks, her field takes hold of the spoon in Flurry’s bowl and fills it, then zooms it around for the baby’s enjoyment before letting her get hold and slurp it down.)

Spike: (sadly) There’s one gift left—but I messed up too.

(Cut to the entire gathering; Fluttershy’s pedestal and winner paraphernalia have been dispelled. The winter-zilla opens one pair of paws to expose the “Flying V” ukulele seen in his bedroom during his less-than-spectacular attempt at crafting in Act Four. Close-up of it; on the start of the next line; he takes it and the camera cuts to him addressing Rarity.)

Spike: Your present’s only kinda finished, Rarity, but I guess it’s better than nothing.

Quiet acoustic guitar melody, triplet feel, moderate 4 (D flat major)

(He begins to play.)

Spike:                        I wanted to get you

Something oh-so-rare

(blushing)                A gift to show I care

But nothing can compare

(Rarity’s puzzlement melts into a warm smile.)

                        To you, that’s easy to see, but I got stressed

                        And over-thought until the day was shot

                        And it was all for naught, but now it’s clear to me

Melody shifts to lush strummed chords

(Slow pan across the room.)

Spike:                        I’m not gifted at gifting, it’s really pretty sad

                        I tried to show I care, but it turned out bad

                        I’m not gifted at gifting, so all that’s left to say

(He turns to Rarity.)        Is that I really hope my gifting

                        Didn’t ruin your holiday

Rarity: Oh, Spike, a song is a lovely present.

Spike: I wanted to get you the best gift ever. (Close-up.) I just couldn’t figure out what it was.

(The kiss that she plants on his cheek brings a vivid blush to both of them.)

Pinkie: (from o.s.) Ooh, ooh! (Pan to her and Twilight.) The Gift-Givers told me that! Huh…now what was it?

                        “The best gift is more precious than gold,

                        But it cannot be sold.

                        When it breaks, it’s not ended,

                        For quickly it’s mended.

                        It can never be bought,

                        Yet is easily sought.”

(Giggle from Twilight.) What’s so funny?

Twilight: It’s a riddle. (standing up) And the answer is…friendship!

Same key/style/tempo, with added strings/woodwinds and light percussion/brass accents

(Zoom out slowly.)

Twilight:                 The most magical gift

                        That I can recall

(Fluttershy pets the winter-zilla; Rarity pulls a surprised Applejack into an embrace.)

                        It could have been big or small

                        Or even nothing at all

(She regards the Hearth’s Warming dolls on the mantel; slow pan.)

                        It doesn’t matter, you see

                        If it’s from my friends on whom I depend

(hovering)                No matter what you spend, it will be perfect to me

                        The true gift of gifting is what it means inside

                        We can show we care, spreading love far and wide

(She flies to Pinkie and uses her field to switch a just-emptied bowl for a fresh one, the pink mare goes messily to work on it.)

                        The true gift of gifting is totally free

(Fluttershy produces a box and offers it to Discord, surprising him; he vanishes the lid and beams at the item within—a haphazardly stitched tea cozy in the vague likeness of an elephant.)

                        And you’re the best there is at giving it

(She hugs him.)        With the friendship that you give to me

(All sway in time with the music as Spike accompanies on his ukulele and the camera zooms out slowly.)

Ponyville mares:                We’ve all been friends forever

                                And look how far we’ve come [how far we’ve come]

(Two mugs are clinked together in the fore, filling the screen. Zoom out to show them held by Starlight and Trixie, sitting on hammocks strung up in the latter’s wagon and drinking a toast.)

                                The holiday brings us close

(Dissolve to the Apples and Pies—minus Applejack and Pinkie, plus Grand, Sugar, and Maud’s main squeeze Mudbriar—enjoying a quiet night in the living room at Sweet Apple Acres.)

                                And now it’s time for fun [it’s now begun]

(Dissolve to Princess Luna standing stolidly on a balcony of Canterlot Castle as snow falls. Celestia steps out, her magic settling a blanket onto the blue-violet back, and the sisters smile at one another. Another such transition shifts the view to Pistachio and family in the Sweet Acorn Orchard kitchen; he opens a box and finds a cowboy hat whose brim is hung with acorns. Surprise gives way to laughter all around.)

Pinkie:                        The greatest gift to give to me

                                Is more precious than gold [ah-h-h]

(Dissolve to Rutherford and several of his subjects—including Yona—cheerfully smashing things to bits for the Snildar Fest in Yakyakistan, then to Flim and Flam grumpily taking a train away from Rainbow Falls with boxes and suitcases full of unsold dolls as their only company.)

                                Never ended, always mended

                                And it can’t be bought or sold

(Dissolve to a long shot of the Ponyville town hall, all its windows glowing warmly, as a crowd of revelers disperses across the town square. Mayor Mare waves goodbye to them from the open doors—a party breaking up, perhaps.)

Ponyville mares:        The true gift of gifting is what it means inside

(Dissolve to Thorax and several of his subjects, including Ocellus, celebrating at their hive in the one-off way described during “The Hearth’s Warming Club”—upside-down tree, fake fire “lit” with lanterns, and so on. Zoom out slowly overhead.)

                        We can show we care, spreading love far and wide

(Dissolve to the Hearth’s Warming dolls on the mantel in the Castle.)

                        The true gift of gifting is totally free

(The other ten and the winter-zilla gather in around Twilight; zoom out slowly.)

                        And you’re the best there is at giving it

                        With the friendship that you give to me

Song ends

(The big lug puts on the crowning touch by lifting them all into a six-limbed hug, the camera cutting to just behind its head and tilting up to frame a set of high windows. Alice is watching through one of them, her antlers aglow; cut to her outside during the next line.)

Alice:                        And so it worked out, and a lesson was learned.

                        There’s no need to obsess.

(Zoom out; she and the other two Givers are floating up here with the help of their magic.)

Alice:                        Gift-giving is simple, as long as you recall—

(She bounds away; cut to a long shot of the Castle as all three quit the window. The front doors have been repaired.)

                        Friendship is the best gift of all.

(They loop past the camera and out of sight before the view fades to black.)