MY LITTLE PONY: EQUESTRIA GIRLS—MOVIE MAGIC

Written by Noelle Benvenuti

Produced by Angela Belyea        

Directed by Ishi Rudell

Assistant direction by Katrina Hadley

Transcribed by Alan Back (ajback@yahoo.com)

Prologue

(Opening shot: fade in to the summit of a volcano, a trickle of lava oozing down from the glowing hot crater as lightning rips the night sky above. Zoom out slowly to put it in a jungle clearing; at its base are two stone totems with blazing braziers carved into the heads. As the camera stops at ground level, a figure in a gray hooded cloak steps into view toward the volcano. A close-up frames a pencil-thin mustache and goatee on the shadowed chin visible under the hood, an upside-down triangular gold brooch at the throat, and a wedge of bush shirt and brown pants beneath the cloak, crossed by the strap of a satchel. The figure stops and throws its head back, revealing short black hair, pale brown eyes, and a light gray complexion, and laughs exultantly into the storm. This is Stalwart Stallion; zoom out slightly to frame him standing between the beacons. His pant legs are tucked into his black boots.)

Stalwart: It is almost time.

(He fishes in the satchel and pulls out a short gold staff, set with a small ruby at one end and a much larger one at the other, on the next line.)

Stalwart: Once I have all three relics, no one will be able to stop me—and Marapore will fall! (holding it overhead) For I am Stalwart Stallion!

Rainbow Dash: (from o.s.) Whoa, whoa, whoa!

(The thunder and lightning stop abruptly, and confusion takes hold as he lowers the staff. Now another male voice is heard through a bullhorn.)

Male voice 1: Aw, cut!

(A quick zoom out reveals that this bit of drama has been taking place on a soundstage in a movie studio. The speaker is Canter Zoom, seated in a director’s chair next to a camera attended by a technician. Seen from behind, he has medium green hair shot through with lighter streaks and tied back in a ponytail, a short beard/mustache, a khaki shirt under a darker vest, and lighter pants. A head-on shot picks out the Rainbooms gathered behind him, with Spike perched on an extra chair. Canter’s large square eyeglasses can now be seen over his scarlet eyes, which he uses to shoot a nasty glare in Rainbow’s direction; in addition, he has a patch of a movie clapper board on one shirt sleeve and an identification badge on a lanyard around his neck. As he lowers the bullhorn, one more detail becomes clear: Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow are both wearing the magic pendants they received at the end of Legend of Everfree, but none of the other girls have followed suit.)

Rainbow: Sorry, but at this point in the story, Stalwart Stallion would be known as Mojo.

(She makes quotation marks with her fingers to accentuate this last word, after which Twilight makes a frantic “shut it” gesture that goes completely unnoticed. The camera is now close enough to show the cloud/lightning-bolt design on Rainbow’s blue pendant.)

Rainbow: (annoyed) What? You think he wants Daring Do fans to call him out for making a mistake like that?

Canter: Let’s go again. (through bullhorn) And this time, say “Mojo” instead of “Stalwart Stallion,” ’kay?

(A big dopey smile steals across the blue teen’s face; close-up of her.)

Canter: (from o.s., bullhorn) And, action!

(The lights surrounding the set snap off, leaving her in only the peripheral glare from the volcano, and the smile turns into a broad grin. Snap to black.)

OPENING THEME

Act One

(Opening shot: dissolve from the title card to Canter leading the Rainbooms on a walk through the studio. Fluttershy is carrying Spike.)

Rainbow: I can’t believe we’re really here!

Twilight: Thank you so much for letting us come, Mr. Zoom.

Sunset Shimmer: We promise we won’t get in the way… (pointedly, to Rainbow) …again.

(The recipient of this barb laughs weakly in close-up. Canter stops and turns to face them with a smile.)

Canter: As a fellow Camp Everfree alum, I was more than happy to afford the girls who helped save it the chance to visit the set of our little film.

Rainbow: (chuckling derisively) Little? This is Daring Do we’re talking about. This movie is gonna be huge!

(A female assistant walks up to Canter.)

Assistant 1: Uh, there’s a problem in Wardrobe. They can’t find the costume Daring Do is supposed to wear in the nightclub scene. (Canter claps a hand to his forehead in disgust.)

Canter: (to himself) If we’re ever able to finish it, it will be. (smiling, to girls) If you’ll excuse me…

(He and the assistant hurry off.)

Twilight: (pulling out/skimming a document) According to our visitor schedules— (close-up; adjusting glasses) —they won’t start shooting the next scene for a while. Which means we have time to— (Pan quickly to Rarity.)

Rarity: (giddily) —get my picture taken with Chestnut Magnifico, the actress playing Daring Do! (Fluttershy joins her with a little sound of excitement.)

Fluttershy: And ask her to sign my petition to bring more bird feeders to Canterlot High!

(Cut to a slow pan across Twilight/Applejack/Rainbow/Sunset, none of whom quite know what to make of this suggestion, then back to Fluttershy.)

Fluttershy: (nuzzling Spike) Oh, Chestnut Magnifico is an avid supporter of a foundation that helps build homes for animals in need. (Smiles all around now.)

Twilight: Oh! Okay. But I was thinking that we could—

Sunset: —check out all the sets?

Applejack: I’d sure like to get a closer look at that volcano.

Twilight: Actually, I thought we’d—

Spike: —find the buffet! (Pinkie Pie whips into view.)

Pinkie: (grabbing him away) And the cupcake fountain!

Rainbow: I don’t know what a cupcake fountain is, but I’m pretty sure they don’t have one.

Pinkie: Of course they do! (pulling out/unfolding a map) I read it in my “A Hundred Things You Didn’t Know About This Movie Studio” insider’s tour guide!

Applejack: (smirking) Is the number-one thing we didn’t know that the guy who founded this studio was an eccentric oddball with a sweet tooth?

(After taking a moment to consult her guide, Pinkie lets her eyes pop and voices a surprised little gasp.)

Pinkie: Yes!

Twilight: (smiling, shrugging) I guess we’re splitting up?

(The others make sounds of agreement, and all but Twilight and Rainbow head off in different directions.)

Twilight: I don’t suppose you want to—

Rainbow: (excitedly) —check out the props that A.K. Yearling designed specially for the movie?

Twilight: You read my mind!

(She has put away her copy of the schedule by this point. A clapper board swings up to fill the screen, the hinged stick on top is slapped down into place, and the board drops out of sight. Now the scene has changed to a trailer parked outside one of the soundstage buildings. Fluttershy and Rarity stand just outside its closed door, on opposite sides; nearby, a lounge chair, small table, and potted palm tree have been set up on a swatch of artificial turf. Pan slowly across the area, then cut to a close-up of the two girls on the start of the next line, the camera positioned to frame the lower half of the door.)

Fluttershy: Maybe we shouldn’t bother her when she’s in her trailer.

Rarity: Darling, please. Actresses love interacting with their fans.

(She immediately has to eat her words—and, very nearly, her teeth as well—when the door bursts open and bashes her in the face. Fluttershy gasps in fright, but Rarity quickly gets her wits about her again. Standing in the doorway, framed from the waist down, is a slim, well-tanned woman whose multi-hued pink dress sports a nut pattern. A long, light green jacket is layered over this, and the feet sport ankle-length brown boots with high heels.)

Rarity: Oh, Miss Magnifico! I—

(She cuts herself off abruptly upon hearing a sound that is somewhere between a shriek and a groan, and the camera tilts up to frame the upper half of Chestnut Magnifico. Young; blond hair with a pink streak tied in a messy bun; nut-shaped pendant to match her dress pattern; furious purple eyes with deep green shadow; reddish-pink lipstick; cell phone to ear.)

Chestnut: I don’t care if I’m under contract! This is a joke, and I want this thing shut down! Do you hear me?!

(She ends the call and stalks off across the lot, paying no mind to the two visitors. They stare after her, Rarity managing an airy laugh and shrug after a moment.)

Rarity: She probably just didn’t see us.

(Dissolve to a slow pan through the soundstage. Applejack and Sunset are walking through the artificial jungle at the base of the volcano; the braziers in the two totems are extinguished.)

Applejack: Hm. Wonder how long it takes to build somethin’ like this. (Close-up of them.)

Sunset: Several weeks, I’d bet.

Applejack: They sure do go all out makin’ it look like the real deal, huh?

(Something crunches underfoot, bringing them up short, and a close-up reveals it as a candy wrapper that Sunset has just trod on. She shifts her foot and picks it up.)

Sunset: (eyeing it closely) Though I don’t think the rainforest is known for its Bon Mot peanut butter praline crunch bars.

Applejack: Better pocket that. Wouldn’t want it ruining the shot.

(Sunset has pronounced “Bon Mot” to rhyme with “con” and “dot,” instead of using the typical French pronunciation. She slips the item into her jacket’s inside pocket with a shrug, and a satisfied smile passes between the two. Dissolve to a different set, this one depicting a typical Arabian or North African town marketplace from several decades ago. Twilight and Rainbow have found their way here; near them, something gleams gold within a storage case. They grin at the faux-exotic décor all around themselves, ending with a deep gasp from Rainbow and a bit of excited lip-chewing from Twilight as they zero in on the case. Zoom in on it, putting them out of view; here, packed in a bed of foam rubber, are the staff from the prologue, a sword with gems set in its edge and hilt, and an arrow whose head is a purple gem.)

Rainbow: (from o.s.) Wow! (Back to her and Twilight.) These are the three Altoriosa Relics!

(A burst of the super speed she gained during Legend of Everfree carries her over for a closer look, Twilight moving just as quickly on her own.)

Twilight: The staff!

Rainbow: The sword! (A young female voice asserts itself.)

Female voice: Don’t forget the Arrow of Altoriosa.

(They turn toward the sound, caught off guard, and the camera zooms out on this last to frame the speaker, Juniper Montage, standing behind them. Cream-colored skin; blue eyes with a slight green tinge; long, straight, two-tone blue-green hair held in two ponytails by clips styled as film reels; bangs cut at an angle to sweep low over the right eye; magenta jacket with lighter lapels and trim over a white-collared, light blue blouse; black skirt with magenta polka dots at the hem; small eyeglasses whose frames match the jacket and are similar in shape to the ones Rarity sometimes uses. She is about the same age as Twilight and Rainbow. A cluster of berries is attached to one lapel, and the jacket sleeves are rolled up; gold buttons and bracelets are at collar and wrists, respectively. The camera angle leaves her footwear out of frame for the moment.)

Juniper: You’re from Canterlot High, right?

Twilight, Rainbow: (nodding) Mmm-hmm./Uh-huh.

Juniper: I’m Juniper Montage, Canter the director’s niece. What do you think?

Rainbow: They’re awesome!

(Longer shot; Juniper wears white knee socks marked with berry clusters and flat-heeled magenta shoes.)

Juniper: (crossing to them) A.K. Yearling is very hands-on when it comes to the sets and props for the movie.

Twilight: Have you met her?

Juniper: Just once, when she came to check out the relics. (slyly) I did get her to sign a copy of the latest Daring Do book, though. (Big squealing grin.)

Twilight: So, what do you do here?

Juniper: Mostly I bring my uncle coffee and help get everything ready for shooting. (Zoom in slowly on her.) I’ve been on the set for all the movies he’s shot here. Pretty much know every inch of this place like the back of my hand. (Shaky giggle; cut to all three again.) I tried to convince him to cast me as Daring Do, but… (sourly) …he really didn’t go for that. (brightly) Hey! Have you guys seen the set for Caballeron’s secret lair?

(Rainbow can only manage a half-moan of barely contained anticipation as she and Twilight shake their heads.)

Juniper: They usually lock the door to that set— (pulling out a ring of keys) —but I’ve got keys that open just about every door in this place.

(Close-up of them jingling in her hand on the end of this, then back to all three. She lets a giggle escape through her grinning teeth.)

Juniper: Come on, I’ll show you!

(She leads them off the set. Dissolve to the upper reaches of a backstage area and tilt down to frame a long buffet table set up among the spotlights and crates. Pinkie has commandeered a director’s chair across from it and is reading the map she produced earlier, while Spike sits nearby on a stool. Both his perch and the surrounding floor are littered with wrappers, and a close-up of the pair reveals that they are identical to the one Sunset found on the volcano set. Zoom in slowly on Pinkie, who uncorks a deflated sigh.)

Pinkie: Three lunch buffets, six different kinds of fondue, two rooms with nothing but candy, and still no cupcake fountain! (smiling) Oh, well. At least we found those peanut butter praline crunch bars. They weren’t in my guidebook, but they sure were delicious!

(Cut to the talking canine, patting his belly from his own round of indulging himself. His sigh is one of pure bliss.)

Spike: I’ll say. (eagerly) You think they got any more?

(Pinkie starts to consult her map again, but a yelp from the o.s. Canter startles her out of that idea.)

Canter: (from o.s.) One more month!

(Cut to just behind the pink candy connoisseur, framing the director and Chestnut on the opposite side of the buffet table. She is no longer carrying her phone as when she left her trailer.)

Canter: Chestnut, that’s all we need! (She lifts one tray cover and peers disgustedly inside.) I’m doing everything I can to keep us on schedule. (Cover down; she eyes the plates and forks.) But with all the setbacks we’ve had, I don’t think we can do it! If you could just agree to stay on for one more month—

Chestnut: Unacceptable!

Canter: But—

Chestnut: Where are my imported peanut butter praline crunch bars?

(Across the way, Pinkie realizes the colossal blunder she has inadvertently committed. She has put her map away.)

Spike: (softly) Now would probably be a good time to resume the search for that cupcake fountain!

(Nodding assent, she leaves her chair and catches him when he jumps off his stool. After a few slow, furtive steps back, they are off like a shot to escape the scene of the crime. Cut to a long shot of the volcano’s upper reaches, the lava in full flow again under a lurid red sky, and zoom out quickly. Canter is in his chair at the edge of the set, Applejack and Rainbow standing a short distance back. The braziers at the base have been relit.)

Rainbow: (softly) You guys should’ve seen the relics! (full volume) They were amazing! (Canter turns to her with a loud groan.)

Canter: Quiet on set, please!

Rainbow: (grinning stupidly, whispering) Sorry. Maybe I’ll just go take one more peek at them.

(She peels out in a multicolored blur thanks to her power. Now all six of the other Rainbooms can be seen gathered to watch the shoot, with Spike sitting next to Fluttershy.)

Canter: (through bullhorn) And, action!

(Pan quickly from them to the base of the volcano. Lightning flashes out as Stalwart walks into view toward it, and the camera zooms in on the smoldering caldera, which begins to crack and collapse. Six girls and one dog utter a horrified gasp in a three-way split screen, and Stalwart wastes no time in bailing out as the sound of splintering wood intensifies.)

Canter: (from o.s., through bullhorn) Cut! (To him.) Cut! Cut!

(The last repetition sounds as if he might be on the verge of tears, and for good reason when the camera returns to the set. The outer layer of the volcano has crumbled away to expose the wooden framework beneath, and a goodly portion of this has gone to the floor as well. Zoom out to show Canter now on his feet, the bullhorn now held off to one side.)

Canter: What is going on around here? We just filmed on this volcano and it was fine! (slumping) This could set us back weeks!

(He gets no further before Rainbow’s pounding feet and panting breaths mark her return.)

Rainbow: (from o.s.) They’re gone! (Zoom out to frame her just behind him.) They’re all gone!

Canter: (oddly calm) What’s gone? (Here comes Juniper.)

Juniper: The relics!

(This bit of news kicks him and the rest of the spectators into panic mode all over again, with a round of gasps, shrieks, and grimaces in another three-way split screen. A clapper board is swung up and sounded, then pulled down out of sight to leave the screen black.)

Act Two

(Opening shot: fade in to a long shot of the marketplace set. All have gathered around the case in which the three props were stored; on the start of the next line, cut to Twilight, Rainbow, and Canter, showing the items in question to be very much absent. Fluttershy is carrying Spike.)

Rainbow: I wanted to check them out again up close, and they weren’t there!

Canter: This can’t be happening! What are we gonna do?

Sunset: Couldn’t you just get the prop department to make new ones?

Canter: The missing relics were personally approved by A.K. Yearling! We could have new ones made, but we can’t use them until Miss Yearling has given them her official stamp of approval! (grumpily) You’d think it’d be easy to reach someone who’s always holed up in her office writing, but Miss Yearling is a very difficult woman to track down.

Rainbow: I-It’ll be okay, though…right?

Canter: Chestnut’s contract with us is almost up, and with Mount Vehoovius collapsing and now this, I fear we’ll have to stop production altogether!

Rainbow: But…but…you have to finish this movie! Think of all the Daring Do fans who’ll be so disappointed if you don’t!

Twilight: Are you sure there’s nothing you can do to— (She is interrupted by a crash from o.s.)

Canter: (shakily) I’m so sorry. Please excuse me.

(He trudges away past Juniper, who offers the group a placating little grin before following. Once the Rainbooms are alone, Twilight lets the little gray cells under the striped blue ponytail get to work.)

Twilight: Hmm…there was trouble with one of the costumes when we first arrived. A set that was fine yesterday just collapsed. (pacing) And now the most important props in the movie have been stolen. I don’t think these are just coincidences.

Sunset: Me neither. All the things that have gone wrong on set have put production on hold.

(She leans over the empty case; cut to within the depressions in the foam rubber, the camera pointing up at her.)

Sunset: It seems to me like someone is going to a lot of trouble to make sure this movie doesn’t get made. (Cut to Spike.)

Spike: Who would want to— (Zoom out; Fluttershy gasps softly.)

Fluttershy: Oh, dear. You don’t think—

Rarity: Oh, no, no, no, no. Certainly not!

(Hopelessly confused looks from the other five, followed by a “get on with it” gesture by Sunset. After an uncertain look toward Rarity, Fluttershy decides to oblige.)

Fluttershy: When Rarity and I followed Chestnut Magnifico to her trailer, we overheard her saying something about shutting down the movie.

Rarity: Yes, but she said she wanted something shut down. We don’t know that she was talking about the movie. (Pinkie zips over to them.)

Pinkie: Maybe she’s just really mad that they’re always running out of her imported butter praline crunch bars.

(She has neglected to mention the “peanut” portion, but the idea is not lost on Applejack and Sunset.)

Sunset: (smiling, pulling wrapper from jacket) Bon Mot butter praline crunch bars?

Pinkie: Those are the ones. (Zoom in on a sheepish Spike.)

Spike: We, uh, may have tried a few ourselves. (Weak laugh.)

Sunset: We found this on the Mount Vehoovius set right before it collapsed. (Pan quickly to Twilight.)

Twilight: It sure seems like all the signs are pointing to Chestnut Magnifico as the one causing all the problems around here. (To Rainbow.)

Rainbow: I don’t know who’s behind this or what’s going on, but the first thing we need to do is find those relics.

Twilight: I agree. The relics were here earlier, and if Chestnut is behind this, then they must still be around here somewhere.

Rarity: (irked) Chestnut Magnifico is an acclaimed actress. She’d never do something so dramatic.

Sunset: (smiling, dryly) An actress, dramatic? Never.

Applejack: Well, she might do somethin’ like this if she was tryin’ to get out of workin’ on a movie she didn’t want to do.

Sunset: Why don’t Fluttershy, Pinkie, Spike, and I follow Chestnut Magnifico and see if we can find anything out? (She starts walking on the end of this.)

Pinkie: Let’s do it!

(She and Fluttershy follow the leader off the set, Spike in tow.)

Twilight: In the meantime, we should look for the relics.

Applejack: Where do we even start? It’s not like there’s some mysterious thievin’ cloaked figure we can chase after and say, “Hey, tell us where you’re keepin’ the relics!”

(These two have their backs to a nearby alley between the buildings, and so do not notice just such a figure skulking into view. Anything not covered by a dark gray cloak is seen only as an inky silhouette. Rarity, however, has a good view of this new arrival.)

Rarity: (pointing) You mean like that one?

(Zoom in slightly on it as she finishes, close enough to pick out a scowling set of teeth and a triangular gold pendant around the neck. It is identical to the brooch worn by Stalwart during his shoots, except that this one is right side up instead of upside down.)

Rainbow: (sputtering) Hey! Stop right there!

(That command works about as well as it usually does—which is to say, not at all—and Cloak darts back into the alley. Rainbow wraps one set of fingers around her pendant, generating a brief flash, and races off in a speed-boosted blur. The resulting air turbulence completely wrecks the hairstyles of Twilight, Applejack, and Rarity, but they leave coiffure-related matters aside for the moment and join the chase. Fade to black as they charge toward the screen.)

(Snap immediately to Cloak darting along an open pathway between sets and o.s. Rainbow zooms into view, stops for a quick look around, and takes a side route. This sequence repeats itself near a different set, after which the speedster jams on the brakes outside Chestnut’s trailer. She gets moving again after a moment’s thought, only for Cloak to pass by in the opposite direction. Next she comes to a stop in the area behind a set and waits for Twilight, Applejack, and Rarity to catch up. These three have now put their hair back in order, and Rarity bends over with hands on knees to catch her breath.)

Rainbow: (groaning) I can’t believe I lost them! (fingering pendant) My geode gives me super speed, but I guess being awesomely fast doesn’t help when the person you’re chasing knows their way around better than you do.

(Fluttershy and Sunset round a corner and into view, the former no longer carrying Spike.)

Sunset: Hey, guys.

Applejack: Any luck findin’ Chestnut? (Pinkie joins them, holding the pup.)

Sunset: We couldn’t find her.

Pinkie: (pulling a cupcake from her hair) But we did find a cupcake fountain! (She downs it in one bite.)

Sunset: Then we got lost and somehow ended up here. (Slow pan across the group.) What have you guys been doing?

Rainbow: We spotted this super-suspicious cloaked figure, but they got away! (Snarl.) They’re here somewhere.

(A new voice, male, makes itself heard.)

Male voice 2: There you are.

(She turns toward the source, the camera panning slightly to frame him behind her—a frantic studio assistant.)

Assistant 2: Where are your costumes? Oh, we gotta hurry. (crossing to her and Applejack) I-I-I’m gonna be so fired if you aren’t ready. The director wants to shoot in three minutes!

(He hustles them toward the camera as the view fades to black.)

(Snap to Twilight, Applejack, and Rarity being pushed onto a set by his hands. The backdrop is that of a typical urban cityscape, and they are dressed in costumes that mark them as human analogs of the title comic characters in “Power Ponies”: Twilight as the Masked Matter-Horn, Applejack as Mistress Mare-velous, Rarity as Radiance. A zoom out frames this scene as taking place in the middle of a street, and the rest of the girls are suited up as well: Fluttershy as Saddle Rager, Pinkie as Filli-Second, Rainbow as Zapp. Sunset is done up as the Mane-iac, the team’s nemesis, and Spike is their sidekick Humdrum, carried by Fluttershy. A director and camera crew are ready to roll film.)

Applejack: Uh, I-I think there’s been some kinda mistake.

Director: Wait, wait. (He squints at them through a loupe hanging around his neck.) Who are these girls?

Assistant 2: They’re the Power Ponies! (The director groans, hand to face.) I’m fired, aren’t I?

Director: (dryly) So fired.

(Looking past Pinkie and Sunset, Applejack spots Cloak through a narrow gap between two buildings.)

Applejack: (pointing) Hey! There she is!

(So the escapee is a female, then. Zoom in on her; she is quick to flee, and the camera cuts to her side, behind the backdrop. The ersatz heroes sprint across the floor, Pinkie and Rainbow in front, only for these two to end up wedged side by side in the small opening. Pinkie flips Rainbow an embarrassed grin and gets a very funny look in response.)

(Snap to black, against which a horizontal panel slides in from one side to fill the top third of the screen: the girls chasing Cloak down a darkened city block, left to right. A second panel slides in as the middle third: a castle throne room, the pursuit proceeding right to left. The bottom third fills with a parking lot in which two muscle cars stand side by side, and the chase goes left to right. Movements are timed so that shortly after Cloak exits one scene, the next one down appears and she emerges onto it. Various equipment is visible in the throne room, and set of studio exit doors can be seen beyond the right edge of the muscle-car set. Here, Pinkie—who begins to lag noticeably behind the others from one scene to the next—does a little goofing off by sliding across one hood, only to set off that car’s alarm system. She thinks better of any other shenanigans and runs off.)

(Cut to a full-frame view of a corridor aboard a spaceship, also with bits of studio gear in view. Cloak sprints ahead and o.s.; Rainbow impatiently waves her friends on, but they are all flagging badly by this point and some are barely moving faster than a walk. Emerging from this set, they all take a desperately needed moment to catch their breath.)

Applejack: Uh…

(Long shot of them, zooming out slowly. They have arrived on a set constructed as a row of buildings that are liberally daubed with brown ooze, a bucket of which stands on the floor.)

Applejack: …what’s this place supposed to be?

Rainbow: And where did she go? (Close-up; Pinkie paces wonderingly.)

Twilight: She must be around here somewhere… (Pinkie grins.) …wherever “here” is.

Pinkie: (gasping happily, jumping in place) Are you kidding? This is the set of Stormy with a Side of Pudding!

Applejack: Stormy with a Side of—what, now?

Pinkie: (sputtering angrily) It’s only my all-time favorite movie!

(Totally uncomprehending glances from Applejack, then Twilight and Sunset, and Rarity claps a hand to her forehead in disgust.)

Pinkie: I’ve tried to get you to watch it, like, a kazillion billion times! (suddenly excited) I’ve heard they use real pudding!

(She zooms across to a particular glob, swipes her fingertip through it, and tastes, leaving a smear across her lips.)

Pinkie: (pacing, moaning ecstatically) They do! (She licks her mouth clean.)

Rainbow: (groaning, pacing) We’re running out of time! We’re supposed to be hunting down the missing relics and catching the bad guy, not eating pudding!

(On the second half of this, the camera cuts to a point just behind one end of the backdrop, aimed at their backs, and pans slowly as Cloak eases into view for a sneak peek. The next shot is a close-up of her lightless form.)

Twilight: (from o.s.) We’re trying. (Cloak grins and lifts the edge of a net.) Maybe we should make our way back to the Daring Do set. (Cut to her and Sunset.) There might have been some clues we missed.

(The black figure makes her move, stepping into the open and flinging the net. Cut to Rainbow as the others’ screams cut the air; she turns to find them in one entangled heap and Cloak at the door. Zoom in on the maliciously grinning mystery girl, who clears out, then cut back to Rainbow.)

Rainbow: Don’t worry! (She slaps a hand to her pendant, powers up, and speeds away.) I’ve got this!

(But what she also gets is a liberal dose of pudding on her boot soles, the result of knocking over the bucket once she hits the gas. The result is a trail of brown prints leading out of the soundstage. She skids to a stop among crated equipment and unused spotlights and begins to pace.)

Rainbow: I saw you come in here.

(The sound of something shifting draws her attention, and a short pan discloses the source as a storage case that has just been opened.)

Rainbow: Where are you?

(Cloak sweeps past in the foreground; Rainbow’s breath catches in her throat and she moves warily after, spotting one slightly open door in a double set that swings shut. The speed demon chews her lower lip, uttering a frightened little moan, then gathers her courage and approaches. Once she pushes the door open, the camera cuts to a dimly lit storage room on the other side and pans slowly ahead of her entry. Props and costumes from movies of several genres are scattered around with no rhyme or reason. Rainbow shades her eyes for a moment, trying to focus through the poor lighting, and advances cautiously into the room. Directly ahead of her is a pair of lockers, one of which is open. She cries out in fear upon coming face to face with an alien costume and stumbles back toward these. Once she gets it through her head that this danger is illusory, she straightens up with a relieved sigh; only now does she notice the open locker and move to examine it. A garment is hung up inside, and she removes it for a better look: a red/yellow dress with short sleeves and a high collar.)

Rainbow: Hey. This is just like the outfit Daring Do wears in the nightclub scene.

(Cloak emerges from a corner and slips out to the doorway, unnoticed.)

Rainbow: (suspiciously) What’s it doing in here?

(The creak of hinges alerts her to the now-closing door; cut briefly to outside as the handle is pulled to, then to an extreme close-up of the interior handles. Rainbow reaches into view to grab and pull, but the door only rattles in its frame—locked. Zoom out to frame her, having put the dress aside.)

Rainbow: Hey!

(Trying both hands on both handles proves to be just as fruitless before the view snaps to black.)

Act Three

(Opening shot: snap to a zoom in on Rainbow as she keeps trying to pull the doors open by brute force. After some seconds with no progress, she gives up on that approach.)

Rainbow: (voice raised) Hello? Anybody out there?

(Another yank, another goose egg, and she sighs wearily and slumps against a prop to think a bit. This leads to a spark of inspiration and a finger snap, and she stands up again.)

Rainbow: (fishing for a pocket) No problem. I’ll just call my friends and let them know—

(The idea turns sour, prompting a groan and a hand clapped to the face.)

Rainbow: Except I can’t, because Security took all our phones when we got here. (Groan; pull/bang on doors, voice raised.) Heeeelp!

(Cut to outside the doors and zoom out slowly.)

Rainbow: (from inside, muffled) I’m trapped in here! (More rattling.)

(Cut to Applejack and Rarity, now upright and freeing themselves from the net.)

Applejack: We have to find Rainbow Dash! (Sunset stands up, also loose.)

Rarity: I don’t see how. She moves so fast, she could be anywhere on the lot by now.

(Longer shot, framing all the girls except for Fluttershy and the now-empty net lying on the floor. Spike is giving the overturned pudding bucket a thoughtful look, and Pinkie crosses to check it out as well.)

Rarity: Why she felt it necessary to wear the geode that gives her super speed to a movie set, I’ll never know. (Cut to Rarity and Sunset.)

Sunset: I wish I’d brought mine. One touch, and I’d be able to see Chestnut’s memories and get to the bottom of this whole thing.

Pinkie: (from o.s.) I know how to find Rainbow Dash! (Cut to her, holding up a pudding-blotched finger.) Follow the pudding!

(She licks it clean, but none of the others—now including Fluttershy—are anywhere close to catching her drift. Her next move is to crouch down by the bucket and the start of Rainbow’s footprint trail and gesture to Spike, who begins to sniff at the mess.)

Pinkie: See? (He scampers up.)

Spike: Follow me! (Off he goes.)

Twilight: You’re a genius, Pinkie Pie!

Pinkie: (casually) I know.

Sunset: (running after Spike; Applejack/Fluttershy/Rarity follow) Come on! This way!

(Twilight and Pinkie hang back for a moment, the violet egghead’s eyes widening as she watches her pink friend tuck the entire bucket into that mass of curly magenta hair.)

Pinkie: (shrugging) Eh, for the road.

(Twilight cannot help but grin at this before the two of them beat feet. A clapper board is swung up, slapped, and dropped out of sight to change the view to a patch of floor on which the pudding footprints end abruptly. Spike sniffs at the last one as Pinkie’s feet step into view.)

Pinkie: (from o.s.) There’s no more pudding.

(Longer shot; these two, Applejack, and Sunset have reached the storage room doors.)

Pinkie: Which means she must be here somewhere.

(Zoom out as the other three girls arrive, Twilight with one hand cupped to her mouth.)

Twilight: Hello? Is anyone here? (She lets it drop.)

Applejack: (voice raised) Rainbow Dash! Where are you? (Fluttershy backs toward the doors…)

Rainbow: (from inside, muffled, grunting/rattling them) Help! Somebody! (…and puts an ear to them.) I’m trapped in here!

Fluttershy: Hello? Rainbow Dash? Are you in there?

Rainbow: (from inside, muffled) Yes! Help! I’m locked in!

Fluttershy: It’s okay, Dashie! We’re here! (She pulls ineffectually at the handles.)

Sunset: I’ll go find somebody with a key. (She starts to move, but Twilight’s next word halts her.)

Twilight: Wait.

(The violet girl in the goggles closes one hand around her pendant, setting off a flare of light, and extends the other palm. As it glows faintly and her ponytail waves of its own accord, she advances toward the door and presses the skin to one of the keyholes. There is a click, the hand and hair return to normal, and that door is nearly smashed off its hinges when Rainbow barrels out of it. She has the missing dress in hand and tackles Twilight in a crushing hug.)

Rainbow: Boy, am I happy to see you!

(They topple to the floor, Pinkie grinning down at them from her perch on a crate, and come up all smiles.)

Rarity: (to Twilight) Did you just make that lock unlock itself?

Sunset: Nice.

Applejack: (petting Spike) Thinkin’ maybe we should all start wearing our geodes around. Never know when our new magic might come in handy. (Close-up of Rainbow.)

Rainbow: How did you find me? I gave up banging on the door five minutes ago. (Pan to Pinkie on the next line, holding up her bucket of pudding.)

Pinkie: (smugly) Pudding never lies. (She tips some into her mouth; Sunset eyes the dress.)

Sunset: Hey, is that the costume that went missing when we first got here? (Cut to Pinkie and Rainbow.)

Rainbow: Yeah. But I didn’t see the person who locked me in, and there’s still no sign of the relics.

Applejack: (from o.s.) Huh. (Overhead view of all.) I say we head back to the scene of the crime. (Cut to her and Spike; she pets him again.) Maybe there’s somethin’ there that could lead us to the relics.

Twilight: (getting an idea) Or…we could let the culprit lead us to them!

Rainbow: How? I just told you I didn’t see who locked me in here.

Twilight: I’ve got a pretty good idea who our thief is, but we’re gonna need Canter Zoom’s help to catch her.

(Cut to Pinkie and Rainbow on the end of this; the pink sugar junkie takes another healthy swig from the bucket, prompting a cringe from the athlete. From here, wipe to the upper reaches of the marketplace set and tilt down to floor level. The girls are here, back in their normal outfits, and Spike sits next to Applejack on a case, having also shed his costume. Canter holds the missing dress, Juniper a clipboard, and both are on the receiving end of Chestnut’s impatient glare. Pinkie is no longer carrying the bucket.)

Canter: You found this in a supply closet?

Twilight: We didn’t find the relics, but we don’t think the thief has had a chance to take the off the lot yet. We wanted your permission to search the Tri-Corners village set from top to bottom. Maybe we’ll find a clue that would lead us to where they’re hidden.

(During this line, Pinkie pops into and out of a series of unusual locations, a magnifying glass raised to one inquisitive blue eye: an empty barrel, upside down from the ceiling, the corner of a building.)

Canter: Of course. Chestnut— (He and Juniper trade items and he checks the clipboard.) —I-I need you to get into Hair and Makeup as soon as we get the relics. We’re gonna start shooting again.

Chestnut: (rolling eyes, walking off) Hmph! We’ll see.

(Neither of them has noticed the uneasy look that settles onto Juniper’s face; close-up of her as she starts to clear out.)

Canter: (from o.s.) Juniper! (Stop; cut to frame both.) Can you do a smoothie run? (walking off; she salutes and smiles) I’m sure all this sleuthing is gonna make everyone thirsty.

Juniper: Absolutely!

(She hustles away. Dissolve to a backstage area, through which Cloak glides to stop at a crate up against one wall, then cut to a closer shot that throws enough light to strip away all doubt as to her identity. It is Juniper, garbed in a nearly-black bodysuit that covers all but her head, and she retrieves the missing relics from the crate as her hood falls away. However, the next words startle her into dropping them with a clatter. She is no longer carrying the dress.)

Rarity: (from o.s.) I told you all it wasn’t Chestnut!

(Cut to just behind the bespectacled teen, framing a glaring Applejack and a smirking Rarity. She turns away, the camera panning to follow her movement and put a good-and-angry Sunset on the scene. After a long, unsettled moment, Juniper scoops the props off the floor with an incredulous gasp.)

Juniper: Look! (close-up; grinning shakily) I found the missing relics! (Cut to Sunset on the next line, Twilight back from her.)

Sunset: Because you’re the one who stole them. (Zoom out; now Canter has arrived.)

Canter: She—she wouldn’t!

Twilight: She would. And she did.

(Longer shot: all seven Rainbooms and Spike are here, facing Juniper down from various angles.)

Twilight: (crossing to Juniper) What she didn’t expect was for Rainbow Dash to come to the Tri-Corners set before she was able to sneak them off to a safer hiding place. (pacing past camera) So she was forced to hide them in the first place she could find.

(As she passes o.s. on this line, the view wipes behind her to a close-up of the props in their open storage case on the marketplace set. Juniper’s hand reaches into view, marking this as a flashback to the moment of the theft, and in no time flat she has gathered them up and is carrying the lot across to a market stall. They are stowed away behind the counter; after a panicked look off to one side, she dives around a corner to avoid being seen by the passing Rainbow. The girl with the varicolored hair approaches the case and stops short with a gasp upon seeing the props gone, Juniper watching her and bugging out once the opportunity presents itself.)

Rainbow: They’re gone!

Juniper: (returning, feigning surprise) What happened?

(Twilight paces past the camera in close-up, the view wiping behind her to a backstage area.)

Twilight: But she knew she couldn’t leave them there.

(Now dressed in her cloak and bodysuit, the thief put the hood up and hastens away.)

Twilight: (voice over) So the first chance she got, she tried to sneak them away.

(The stolen items are retrieved from their hiding place ad stowed under the cloak.)

Twilight: (voice over) Unfortunately for her— (She turns to see Twilight/Applejack/Rainbow/Rarity looking straight at her.) —we spotted her!

(This would be the moment in Act Two at which Rainbow said, “Hey! Stop right there!” The real-life genius passes in front of the camera again; behind her, wipe to Juniper throwing her net on the Stormy with a Side of Pudding set.)

Twilight: But Juniper knows every inch of this place like the back of her hand—

(It drops onto Spike and all the girls except Rainbow.)

Twilight: (voice over) —and was able to trap us and lose Rainbow Dash—

(The speed racer blasts past in magical top gear, knocking over the pudding bucket and leaving footprints. Cut to backstage, where she flashes to a stop.)

Twilight: (voice over) —for a while. (Juniper rustles past; Rainbow follows and enters the storage room.) But when Rainbow Dash managed to figure out where she’d run off to— (Outside; the door is closed and locked.) —she locked her in a closet, with the set of keys that gives her access to— (Juniper backs away and smiles wickedly.) —just about every door in this place—

(The cloak is swept across the camera, the view wiping behind its hem to the here and now.)

Twilight: —which gave her time she needed to hide the relics here.

Rainbow: (scoffing) W-When did you figure out it was her?

Twilight: I started to piece things together when I unlocked the door to get you out of the supply closet. (glaring at Juniper, who sets the props down) But I knew Juniper would never admit she was the one who had taken the relics.

Sunset: (jabbing a finger into Juniper’s chest) Unless, of course, she was caught in the act of trying to move them again.

(Twilight turns o.s. on the end of this line; on the start of the next one, cut to frame her now standing with Canter and Applejack/Rarity/Spike looking on.)

Twilight: (to him) Which is why I told you to send her on that smoothie run.

(Now the camera shifts to Fluttershy and Pinkie, both of whom nod as they make sense of it all.)

Twilight: (from o.s.) So she’d think she’d had the opportunity to get the relics off the lot, where we’d never find them. (Back to her and Applejack on the end of this.)

Juniper: (crushed) But instead of searching the Tri-Corners set, you all were secretly following me here.

Canter: Why would you do this?

Juniper: I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry! I just can’t stand Chestnut!

(Her uncle recoils slightly at the vitriol in these last five words.)

Juniper: (pacing to a scenery flat) She’s always eating all the peanut butter praline crunch bars, which are the only candy bars I like!

(Pinkie licks her chops, digs one out of her curls, and bites down.)

Canter: That’s hardly a reason to go— (Juniper whips into his face, backing him up.)

Juniper: And I was mad at you for casting her as Daring Do! I mean, I have told you over and over again how badly I wanted to play Daring Do, and you just ignored me!

Canter: But, Juniper, you’re too young! You don’t have any experience!

Juniper: I know. But I thought if enough things went wrong, Chestnut would maybe back out of the movie and then… (smiling hopefully) …you would give me a chance.

(Canter massages his forehead in order to gather some bit of composure before laying into her.)

Canter: (counting off items on fingers) Not only did you jeopardize the production, endanger the safety of the actors and the film crew, but you also lied to me and took advantage of my trust!

Juniper: (crushed) I know, and I’m sorry. I-I never meant to hurt anyone, a-and I was going to return all the props just as soon as Chestnut quit. (dropping head) I hope you can forgive me.

Canter: (touching her shoulder) You’re my niece, Juniper, so of course I can forgive you.

(He responds to her smile by using that hand to give her a rough pull forward, all good humor instantly evaporating.)

Canter: But I’m sorry to say you’re no longer welcome on this set— (snapping fingers; a beefy security guard instantly arrives) —and it will be a long time before I consider allowing you back here! (He holds out a commanding hand.) Keys!

(The ring of them is passed onto his palm, and she plods toward the door with the guard’s hand at her shoulder. Just short of it, she stops for a moment to throw her uncle the filthiest look she can gin up; it packs enough venom to make every last Rainboom and their canine buddy cringe. Sunset is now holding the props. Her parting shot delivered, she allows the guard to escort her out. As soon as these two are gone, Chestnut saunters into view, her mood greatly improved compared to her trailer exit in Act One and the buffet table blow-up in Act Two.)

Chestnut: Canter, there you are! (Laugh.) So sorry I’m not in Makeup, but I’ve just gotten a call from my agent. (pacing) I no longer have to work on that ridiculous documentary about nests next month. (Laugh.) I swear, when they approached me, I thought they wanted to do a documentary about my organization for homeless animals— (Chuckle.) —not on various nests around the world.

(She makes quotation marks with her fingers on this last mention of “nests,” then adds a dismissive laugh after she finishes.)

Chestnut: Completely misleading. (crossing to Canter, draping an arm across his shoulders) But no matter. That’s all behind us.

Canter: (hesitantly) Does this mean— (Twilight eases away.)

Chestnut: (cheerfully, poking his nose) No more scheduling conflict, hm? I can extend my contract and continue filming Daring Do. (He moves o.s.; she notices Sunset’s armload.) Hey! Are those the missing relics?

Canter: (from o.s., relieved) Yes. (Cut to him, Twilight, and Rainbow.) And I don’t think we’ll have to worry about them disappearing again. And it’s all thanks to our visitors from Canterlot High. First you save Camp Everfree, now the Daring Do movie—you all are certainly on a roll.

Rainbow: (chuckling) Um…uh, speaking of roles— (His perspective of her; zoom out slowly as the others gather in.) —don’t suppose you’ve got any extra parts my friends and I could play? You know— (Chuckle.) —as a reward for saving the day?

(His hands extend into view, each with thumb and forefinger extended; they join to form a rectangle around the group as if framing a camera shot. Cut back to him, easing the two pairs of digits back and forth; after a couple of tries, he lowers them and strokes his chin with a knowing smile.)

Canter: I think we could figure something out.

(Faces light up before a clapper board swings up into view, slaps, and drops out of sight. The view has now shifted to the upper reaches of the marketplace set, and the camera tilts down to the road, now teeming with peddlers and porters. At ground level, the camera captures a close-up of a pair of running feet in brown hiking boots as they splash through a puddle, then a good clear shot of the jeweled golden sword on this figure’s belt. Well tanned, bush shirt, long pants, hair in multiple familiar shades of gray and black. The next shot frames the runner’s face—Chestnut, portraying a human duplicate of Daring Do right down to the pith helmet. She sprints ahead. Throughout the following sequence, each character appears in region/period-appropriate clothing—Arabia or North Africa of several decades ago, recall.)

(Cut to Rarity and Sunset. Rarity lifts a length of ornately decorated cloth, and Sunset takes it and looks closely as Chestnut dashes by in the background. She narrowly avoids Applejack, who is carrying a basket of apples. Down the road, Pinkie and Spike are doing a juggling act for a small group of spectators—she with clubs, he with balls. Chestnut runs by, her helmet blowing off her head, but she snags it on the fly and quickly settles it back in place. Twilight stops short while crossing the road to avoid a collision, the topmost book falling free of the tall stack she carries, but Chestnut catches it and flips it neatly back into place without losing a step. She slides to a stop just short of Fluttershy, who breaks for cover along with everyone else in the street as the ruby-topped end of the gold staff swings into view in the fore, held by Stalwart. The great jewel crackles with power; cut to just behind Chestnut, framing him on the start of the next line. His costume the same shirt/pants/boots ensemble as in the prologue, but without the cloak.)

Stalwart: You will give me the Sword of Altoriosa!

(The jewel in its hilt sizzles a bit as he says this; she puts a hand to it.)

Chestnut: I don’t think so, Stalwart!

Stalwart: Have it your way! (raising staff; bolts of energy snap out from the jewel) Hostium prihobore getehii odo bolo!

(Cut briefly to her during this, paralyzed with fear, then back to him as he finishes. By this point, the arcane power has developed into a swirling tempest above his head.)

Stalwart: Give up, Daring Do! The Sword shall be mine!

(He levels the staff at her, energy flaring out from the end, and the sword is yanked toward it as if drawn by a giant magnet. Chestnut snatches fruitlessly after it as his crazed laughter tears the air between them, and she snarls wordlessly until a shrill whistle rings out. Here comes Rainbow, a coiled bullwhip in hand; she heaves it desperately across the street and Chestnut catches it without a blink. One light flick to limber up, and she snaps it across toward Stalwart, who now holds the staff pointed straight up overhead and has the sword floating above it. The whip lashes against the golden shaft, knocking both items away to their wielder’s great shock and dissipating the field that had held them.)

Rainbow: (from o.s.) This is so awesome!

Canter: (from o.s.) CUT!!

(Stalwart just slumps a bit where he stands, adopting a “you gotta be kidding me” expression at having the take so completely blown. Cut to Canter in his director’s chair, flanked by equipment and crew members.)

Canter: (exasperatedly) Again?!

(Cut to a close-up of the adventure fan, lost in the sheer bliss of the whole experience, and zoom out to frame all her friends—including Spike—staring at her with assorted degrees of puzzlement and annoyance. It takes her a second to snap out of her reverie.)

Rainbow: (sheepishly) Uh, sorry.

(The clapper board swings up, slaps, and drops out of sight to leave the screen black.)