"One Less Deck to Shuffle" by Kitsune Seele ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Shuffle Mixtape begrudgingly moved to the overmare's office. "Now what did I do wrong? Was I being too loud again?" He mockingly posed to himself. "The overmare just can't stand good music, that's all." As the young red colored colt reached the administration office. An older stallion exited the overmare's office and approached the young DJ. "Well at least you know how to be punctual." Shuffle simply flipped his long sandy mane out of his face. "Well, I aim to please." The stallion pulled a letter off a desk. "This is what you're here for, no need to go in and bother the overmare." The colt lifted up the letter and looked at it. The pink stripe in his mane bouncing along with his shaved tail as he read. "Greetings, Stable dweller Our benevolent overwatcher requires your attention and warns you not to panic. Approximately 17 hours ago our coms picked up an unauthorized Morse code from a wastelander pony who has identified herself as "That SECURITY pony". The notorious Blackjack. fuck it I need a vacation meet me at Mixers DJs needed bring music booze guns drugs lights mares you can't miss it I'll make sure that SECURITY pony p.s. lights out Immediately following this it appears all power in our area and the surrounding areas have been redistributed to a street club "Mixers" where an annoyingly loud and divinely illuminated event is happening. Unfortunately our processes are still running on batteries that need to be charged. We have approximately 2 months time before our backup generators run out. As usual there will be no reasoning with her. With the power diverted from all available power options, we'll need to charge them at Mixers. You might as well grab a battery pack, head over to this mixers and "bang out" your music for her little event. Just don't get so wasted that you screw up bringing the batteries back." The DJ dropped the letter just below his eyes and glared at the Overmare's second in command. "So let me guess, she wants me to head to this club mixers and charge some batteries?" The 2nd in command simply nodded. The colt dropped the letter. "More like you want to get rid of me for a while." "The overmare would never do something like that. She simply believes you are the most 'qualified' for this, seeing that you are the...." The stallion cleared his throat with a hint of disgust. "Stable DJ and 'music aficionado'." "The overmare can suck me, but it does give me a chance to go out and play some music out beyond these prison walls." The confident young pony smirked. "Are all children your age graced with such wit and prose? In any case, grab what you need and be at the stable door in 1 hour." The old pony turned and went back into the overmare's office. ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Shuffle found himself at a steel wall surrounding a pyramid, with a large sign. "Club Mixers." Shuffle was accompanied by 8 stable guards. As the colt knocked on the door to the club, The door flew open with Blackjack pointing a shotgun in his face. "10 fucking seconds." Shuffle drew back, as the guards all drew their guns on Blackjack. Shuffle trying to wrap his head around what was going on, motioned for the guards to lower their guns. "What do you mean 10 seconds?" Blackjack tapped the gun against her head for a second and chuckled briefly. "Oh I'm sorry. Did I say 10 seconds, I meant 5." She pointed the gun back at the confused young pony, her face once again stern. The colt stuttered for a second. "You.. You mean I have 5 seconds to talk?" Blackjack put the gun to his head. "2!" Shuffle fell back on his ass and tried to find something, anything to say. "Here for the music." Blackjack lowered the gun. "That wasn't so fucking hard now, was it? Welcome to Mixers, now why should I let a cunt like you in?" Shuffle stopped sweating for just a second. "Simple, I'm great at organizing music. I know how to set a mood and keep that mood flowing no matter how bad the song, baby." The security mare motions back behind the steel wall. "Oh good, none of these fuck ups have any fucking clue what they're doing. So that means you get to be event organizer. Congratu-fuck-alations." The colt stood back up. "Awesome honey, I think I love you already." Blackjack cocked the shotgun. "Don't start." Shuffle tried to defuse the situation by introducing himself. "Well. my name is...." Blackjack stopped him mid sentence. "Your name is Cunt, because your mane looks like one. I mean look at you, it's like the rest of you is just bleeding out of that huge vagina growing out the top of your head." Shuffle flipped his hair out of his eyes as Blackjack continued. "Or I could just call you afterbirth." Just realizing the escort behind him. Blackjack pointed a hoof at the security ponies. "What's with the fuck offs behind you?" Shuffle turned. "Oh these guys, my Overmare doesn't trust me. She seems to think I'm a kid, and you are kind of infamous." Blackjack stared thinking. "You are an unfinished abortion, and they're not fucking invited. Make better use of them." The security ponies and shuffle looked at each other confused. Blackjack sighed. "We need lot more guns. Why don't you boys find a spot and keep lookout for any raiders or any other twats trying to crash this party." Shuffle shrugged at the stable security escorts as they all followed Blackjack inside past the steel gate. Blackjack shook her head. "What a fucking mess." Shuffle, Blackjack and 6 of the security ponies headed to a large pyramid with a large stone door built at the bottom. One of the stable security ponies whispered to Shuffle, then they moved off, leaving Shuffle and Blackjack alone. Shuffle spoke up. "You’re gonna make a lot of ponies very angry." "Remind me why I fucking care." Blackjack dismissed the comment as she lifted herself up to a switch. Shuffle tried to sound cool as he stared at the beautiful mare, from behind of course. "I love it when you..." "Don’t." Blackjack quickly cut him off. She put her weight onto the switch till it clicked in place, turning on the flood lights and other power systems. A loud crackle of electricity shot through everything in the large pyramid and a giant bolt of green light bursts out of the top of it. Blackjack shielded her eyes. "Fuck, that’s bright." The colt looked at his vision of beauty then at the giant column of light. "Just how much power are we using?" "A fuck ton." Blackjack again dismissed as she walked down to the stone door in front of the pyramid. Shuffle stared. "There’s no way in hell they won’t see that." Security looked at the giant stone. "That's the point. Just so long as we don't fuck this up." Shuffle stopped for a second. "And if we do somehow fuck this up?" "Well, I imagine us staining one side of this pyramid." The security mare then whipped around, "Wait! I thought you fucking made this location secure?" Shuffle moved down toward the stone trying to calm down the goddess next to him. "Look, We've got two snipers in the nest of your monolith, 4 guys around the back facing the wasteland, and 2 guys out front facing the street." "How's it look with the gangs and Raiders?" Blackjack glared at the young horny colt. Shuffle slumped next to the stone door. "Try and relax. We got more guns than we got vinyl babe." Blackjack positioned herself next to the stone door. "Just shut up, and let's get this fucking thing open." The two ponies push back the stone guarding the tunnel to the stable. Shuffle looked at the stone. "We're not going to want to leave this open." Blackjack continued walking. "No shit." Blackjack opened the rickety old door leading to the stable with Shuffle following her in. "A'ight. Do your thing. The alley out back is already packed. I got everything here covered." Shuffle took his eyes away from his deity and rambled out. "Hey, if we die tonight. I just want you to know, I've always loved you." Blackjack yelled back at the young colt. "Oh God. Look, keep your shit together and remember. There are no obstacles, only challenges." Blackjack walked to the stable door, inputting the password and flipping the switch. The stable door creaked for a second, then shook itself open and rolled out of the way to a spacious stable. The sound of an out of control audience were muffled behind the back door. With every hoofstep she took, the cheering grew louder but she tuned it out to silence. Blackjack calmly walked up to the stable mic. "Welcome to Mixers baby. Hoofington Rises tonight." _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ The pyramid shook as mortar fire rocked the structure. Blackjack with flask in hand trotted into the control room looking out toward the back door. "Give me a surface report and a fucking drink." Shuffle looked out the bay window toward the back door. "All eyes and weapons on that door. Maybe you can't distinguish between the two types of bombs being dropped." Blackjack looked out to see the back door vibrating from being pounded on by whomever and whatever was behind it. "Shouldn’t have hired amateurs." Shuffle pointed out. "What the fuck did you expect hijacking the only means these ponies have to live and rigging a gigantic beacon so that they know exactly where to go to kill you?" Blackjack picked up the colt and shoved him against the back wall. "Look, you little Cunt! you are becoming a liability and I will not hesitate to put a bullet in that twisted little brain of yours. Your job is to organize the music and keep your fucking mouth shut. Don’t be a fucking dumbass." Shuffle groaned for a second and managed to get out the words. "A'ight but..." "What?" Blackjack pulled her pistol and cocked it. Shuffle looked at her with pure lust in his eyes. "Can I kiss you?" Blackjack reeled back for a second. "You're like ten!" A shot reverberated off the walls as Blackjack put a hole in Shuffle's head. "Horny fucking kid." Another shot rang out as another bullet went straight through the colt's skull. The back door burst open, to a group of Raiders. Blackjack readied her pistols. "Ante up." ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Blackjack pulled the trigger on her shotgun, which simply clicked. "Fuck, I'm out." She threw the shotgun to the ground before slamming the back control room door shut. She tried to get another swig out of her already empty flask. "And there isn't enough Whiskey for this shit." She locked the control room door. "I kind of wish I hadn't shot that kid now." She sighed. "I could really use the help." The raiders slammed into the door pounding, and yelling beyond it. Blackjack looked down and lowered her pistol. "What the hell am I supposed to do?" ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Blackjack appeared back on stage as the concert's final song played out. She grabbed the mic drunkenly. "Hope you all had a fucking blast, but the vacation's over. The stable door is now open again, and it will close in 10 minutes. I may have let a whole bunch of pissed off wastelanders in here so it'd be best if you just..." Blackjack chuckled and lifted her pistol. "Get the fuck out" She shot into the crowd. Ponies screamed and started rushing out in panic. Blackjack followed, essentially herding everyone out. Security moved to the control room inside the entrance of the stable, as the last group of ponies fled. The security mare hit the power switch. "Lights out, baby." As the power slowly died out, Blackjack sighed to herself putting a hoof and the side of her gun to her face. "You really fucked up this time Security." She slumped against the wall in the control room, flipping the switch to the stable door. The massive door roared to life and wheeled out on it's track slowly sliding and grinding back across it's threshold. Blackjack breathed heavily about ready to cry, making only one last comment before the door shut. "Goodbye."