>"Well, we're almost there..." You said, scratching the bottom of your jaw in boredom. This train ride was going to kill you.

>Oh well, such is the life of a freelance detective. You examined your extremely bulky camera; sort of strange how these horses could do magic, but not perfect a smaller camera.

>"This anonymous tip better be right, I'd really hate to be stuck in some town full of nobodies for longer than I have to." Loading your camera up with reels of film, you sighed.

>Silence filled your empty car like a hard bottle of whiskey; and the only thing breaking it was the chugging of the train.

>"Something big is going down, at least if my source is reliable." Rolling your eyes, the conductor signalled the end of the line, and you shook your head at the immediate noise of the train's whistle.

>"Whatever, I hope I just get this done." Exiting the train; you saw the conductor immediately asking for a tip.

>"Here's a tip, take a shower; you smell like garbage." You spat out a glob of saliva at his hooves and walked away.

>"Guess I got shit to do; question is...what?" You enjoyed thinking out loud, it broke up the mundane task of hearing the wind blow.
>"I should find out where the leader of this dump is before anything." Common sense, right? Well, using your keen eye; you spotted the largest building in town, which you could only assume to be the city hall.

>Good thing it was a short walk, that was a plus.

>"What a train wreck looking town; jeez, my boxers have a better design." You took a step onto the doorstep, placed your hand on the golden doorknob; and twisted it in disgust.

>Stepping into the Mayor's office, you look around at the hundreds of loose papers littering the floor.

"Well hello there, I haven't seen you around here; are you a guest?" A grey maned tan pony ran up to you with an excited smile.

>"That's none of your business, I live here and there; all I'm gonna tell you."

"Oh uh, okay!" Her expression changed to one of confusion. "So what can I do for you?"

>"Nothing, I just decided to skip into your town and make friends."

"Really?"

>"What the fuck do you think?" Anger crossed your face, and you stared daggers at the Mayor.

"I-I don't know!"

>"Just tell me."

"About our wonderful town?"

>"No, about what the hell is going on around here."

"J-just business as usual!" She began to sweat and shake in her glasses.

>"My ass, a trusted source let me know that something shifty is going on around here."

"Nothing, r-really; just another day!" She was shaking, but she wasn't budging in terms of information.

>"Oh really?" You reached into your pocket and pulled out a silver lighter.

"R-really!" She backed up.

>"I tend to believe my sources more than some politician." Flicking the lighter on and off, the flame teasing your thumb; you said with a vicious frown.

"I apolog-gize, but I simply must get back t-to my w-work!" She trotted back into her velvet chair, and began to pretend to work.

>A freshly printed piece of paper flew off of her desk in the midst of her panic. "Hm?" It nestled itself under your shoe.
>The image of a happy pink pony in a silly hat with a black bold font reading "MISSING" was on the newly made piece of paper.

"D-don't touch that!"

>"Who's this?" Holding the grinning pink pone's picture up to her face, you asked with a raised brow.

"Nopony, really; really!" Mayor Mare turned her face away, with the look of somebody who was about to upchuck right then and there.

>"Am I causing you trouble? Am I invading your space? Hm?" You breathed down her forehead, as she continued to sink deeper into her chair.

"Why y-"

>"I don't give a damn, you? You are a fishy, filthy politician. You don't deserve any space other than a jail cell."

"Can you please leave?" She sniffled, a strand of snot dripping down her muzzle.

>"You know, I WOULD, but only if you told me what I need to know."

"I don't have anything to tell you!"

>"You know how much I love ponies like you?" Snagging a cigar out of your other pocket, you leaned into her face.

"H-how much?"

>You lit your cigar with a smile, and took a long puff. Exhaling, you let out a large cloud of smoke right into her face. "I don't."
"You don't?" She let out a hacking cough and fanned the smoke away from her face.

>"No, I just said that to tickle your funnybone, shitsnake." You put out the cigar on her desk, making sure to spread out every last ash onto the surface of the mahogany table.

"Oh, uh haha!?"

>"I'll leave, only if you tell me her name."

"P-Pinkie Pie, I-I think you could find somepony who knew her around town; everypony knew Pinkie!"

>"Glad you see it my way." Backing up from the mayor, you smiled and put the poster in your pocket with confidence.

"Okay will- will you go now!?" She began to beg, and plead like a defenceless turtle.

>"Of course..."

"Oh thank you, thank you!"

>"By the way; you wanna know what warms my heart?"

"What?"

>"Fire." You took a singular blank piece of paper off of her desk, flicked the top off of your lighter, and set it on fire.

"Hey, I needed that!"

>"No you didn't, but I'm sure you needed these." You lobbed the flaming parchment into the disorganized pile of paper, causing a reasonable flame on her desk.

"Hey, what was that for?!" She began blowing on the flames, and patting them down with a neckerchief.

>You just left with a shit eating grin, leaving her to deal with that small amount of fire on her own.

>"I need a drink..I'm on fucking edge; I'm surprised I didn't snap that greasy bitch's neck..."
>"That must be the pub, I might get a drink and some info about this..whatever it is." You walked your merry little way over to the raggedy-looking building.

>You sat up at the bar, the stool creaked slowly as you got onto it.

>Pulling out the stone shiv you kept in your back pocket, you planted it onto the table with a groan. Looking at this old piece of rock was something you'd become accustomed to.

>"I-I still can't believe he's...gone..." You hung your head in sorrow, it's been four days since he disappeared. That tan mayor bitch called off the search.

>"I'm surprised I contained my rage...she's the one who fucked him..her and that stupid Celestia.." The inscription was far too familiar, the letters B R O carved down the hilt of the shiv.

>"She fucking called off the search after four damn days...I guess the official life of investigation played a huge part in it." You plucked the very edge bottom of the shiv's handle, and put it back into your rear pocket.

>A hooded mare sits next to you, she's clearly drowning her sorrow in cider; you slammed your bag of bits onto the counter and asked in your nicest tone for as much gin as they could give you for that modest fee.

>So, do you just ignore the mare and speak to the bartender?; or do you initiate a conversation with the hooded figure next to you?
>You receive three large mugs of gin from the content barkeep, and you look around for any other ponies in the bar.

>There was nobody else besides you, the hooded figure, and the barkeep. This was a pretty sleazy place, rotting walls and a faint smell of urine.

>Carefully, you slid one of your alcohol-filled mugs to the seemingly spaced out mare. She snatched the cup in a split second, and let out a short giggle.

>You tried to put on your best Tony Montana impression in a feeble attempt to woo her. "Ey, how'sabout you and I get a bit crazy; eh girl?"

"Shut the fuck up, slick; before I knock you the fuck out." The raspy voice of the mare rung through the bar like a wind chime in a prison. She chugged down the gin in one giant gulp, and let out a hearty burp.

>"Ey whassamatter baby; you dun like to fly on the wild side?" God damn, this hurt to say; you could feel your brain cells committing seppuku.

"You have about ten seconds, ten seconds to apologize before I buck you right in the balls."

>"Okay, shit; calm down." You sighed, you weren't getting any of that sweet ass, obviously. Not that you wanted it, or anything.

"How would you feel if you let somepony die, huh!?"

>You seem to have struck a nerve, this could be your big break!
>Taking a long, drawn out swig from your first bubbling mug of gin, you looked over to her with a cold gaze.

>"Depends on if they deserved it or not."

"You shut the fuck up, right now. SHUT THE FUCK UP!" You saw a tear roll down her cheek and splatter against the rotting floor.

>"Listen, miss...I'm sorry, I'm just a bit on edge..someone gave me a tip that something big was going down in this little shitty town."

"W-wait, an anonymous tip?"

>"That's right, somebody told me about a string of disappearances that might be related to my uh..partner's death." Flat out bullshit, you knew damn well he wasn't just your partner; he was your brother. Your flesh and blood younger brother, he always was the one who flew straight.

"Let me guess, you're looking for the truth; and nothing but the truth, huh!?"

>"Yeah, I am; the Mayor called off the damn search after four fucking days!"

"Fuck. Her." The mare angrily growled.

>"What's your beef with her?"

"She got two of my friends killed..."

>"What a sack of shit."

"P-Pinkie...I-I'm so s-sorry..." She planted her head right onto the counter and began to weep a tidal wave of tears. "Oh my Celestia, I could've done more...I could've saved them both..if I wasn't so stupid!"

>"I know what it's like to cause somebody's death.."

"Oh do you?! Do you know how heartbreaking it is to have the blood of a pony and a detective on your hooves!?" She slammed her hooves onto the counter in a blind fit of rage.

>She's a timebomb, but she's the only lead you've got. How are you going to proceed with this unstable character?
>"Listen, miss. I think it's about that time you tell me when and how this shit hit the fan. I'm here to uncover the truth." Taking out the picture of the dopey looking pink pony, you slid it over to the weeping mare.

"That's just what HE said...before..."

>"Before what?"

"I saw it all happen, Pinkie was killed by that stupid dress wearin' rake of a whore."

>"...?"

"There's some sick shit going on in this town, somebody else came through here; not a pony, but a guy like you."

>"Wait...was he a...detective!?"

"Yeah."

>"What happened to him!?"

"H-he...he's gone."

>"Fuck fuck fuck!" You swept your arms down the counter and knocked nearly every object down to the floor in fury.

"I should've done something...but I couldn't..."

>"It's not your fault...he always was too easygoing and trusting." You took a deep breath and turned away from the hooded mare. "Now, how did it happen?"

"He saved me." She laughed a bit, but not too much; you could still hear the pitter patter of her tears smacking against the counter like a cold Tuesday drizzle.

>"Saved you?"

"He protected me from...bleh; a terrible death."

>"What kind of death?"

"...He got squashed under a pony's ass...like Pinkie..."

>"What the fuck!?"

"I can't remember her name, but she had diamonds on her flank, was white as the snow from winter wrap up, and had a purple twisty mane."

>"Sounds like one of The Three Stooges."

"What?"

>"Nothing, look; I think we should discuss this at a more private area..you got anywhere?" You reached over to pull her hood back.

"Yeah, out of this town; we're not safe he-" As you attempted to pull her hood back, the wind beat you to it. Her rainbow styled scruffy mane danced in the breeze.

The bartender looked immediately back to her in disgust, and swiftly pulled out a filthy knife from out of the counter with a magical grip.

>"What the fuck?!"

>Now, what are you to do with this hostile situation?
>Getting up to your feet slowly, as to not startle the aggressive stallion; you reached your hand into your back pocket and pulled out the stone shiv with a concerned look on your face.

>"Now hold on now, you don't want to become a fillet-of-horse, do ya?" The way you held the knife was quite different, it was held in a horizontal style; and it could easily slit a throat or two.

"Quiet down, I'm not going to hurt you; I'm going to hurt that blue bitch right there!" The brown colt swung his blade wildly at Rainbow Dash. Too bad she was far too fast for him.

>"We're gonna have a problem then, aren't we?" As you continued in your attempts to calm him down, you reached down to the stool you were once calmly sitting on.

"I guess so!"

>"Well, seems like we're at a fuckin' stalemate."

"Yeah, I guess so."

>"Let us go, we're leaving."

"Screw that! I'm getting the bounty for this stupid whore!"

>"You're one fucky customer aren't you?"

"Hey, I'm not the bad guy here; I'm just doing what's needed for the greater good!"

>"Do you really wanna die for some pipe dream?"

"I don't know if you've noticed but this place is kind of a shit-"

>"Fuck this, I haven't got time for your problems." You snatched the stool from the floor, and furiously flung it right at the barkeep's head.

"Ow fuck!" He was pushed back into the register, an ear shattering ching followed by a pained groan.

>"C'mon, let's go!" You grabbed onto Rainbow's hoof and made a B-line for the door.

"You pricks!" The barkeep lobbed his sharp, rusty knife at you, trying to kill at least one of you.

>"Gave you a black eye; have fun with that!"

"Ah, damn!" Rainbow wasn't quite as fortunate, the barkeep's knife lodged itself into one of her hind legs. A warped ripping of the flesh made you slightly cringe, on the inside at least.

>Finally, you made your escape. Out of that greasy bar, and into the street.
>"Are you okay!?"

"Yeah, I just have a knife in my leg; no biggie."

>"Can you walk?"

"No..ah!" She kept her hoof raised above the ground in agony.

>"Can you fly?"

"Of course, if you want a rainstorm of blood that is."

>"Get on my back."

"Huh?"

>"I'll piggie back you out of here, and we'll get away from this insane place." You bent over, allowing her a perfect position on your back.

"Okay, fine. But do you know where we're going?"

>"Yep, I just love to study the layouts of backwater towns; it's my fetish."

"Smart ass..." Rainbow nestled her head gently on the back of your neck, for a more comfortable position.

>"I didn't get your name."

"I didn't give it."

>"Well, my name's Anon; happy to meet someone who's not fucked in the head." You smiled, slowly trekking out of town. Rainbow's leg was leaking blood drop by drop with each step you took.

"Rainbow Dash is the name, and not getting stabbed is my game."

>"Looks like you lost then."

"Joking, you doofus."

>You continued to walk out of the town, nobody noticed Rainbow Dash on your back. As your neck completely hid her face from any Curious Chets.

>You made it out of the town with ease, which was a tad unsettling considering the circumstances.

"They're having a meeting at town hall, some moron set the Mayor's desk on fire..."

>"At least we know she's being kept warm." Finally, you got out into an open field; the town was preoccupied, so you have some time to do whatever you need to do.

Rainbow's leg is still bleeding pretty badly, and it still has a knife stuck in it.

INVENTORY:
Pinkie Pie Missing Poster
Stone Shiv
Flask (Full of Gin)
Camera
Notepad & Pencil
Lighter
Cigar
Tattered Hood

>"Okay, Rainbow Dash; do you have anywhere we could hide? Somewhere secret and safe?"

"Yeah, over there." She pointed to a specific tree, she was clearly almost out of it.

>"A tree? You sure you just aren't high?"

"It's hollow, numbnuts..."

>"Sorry if I don't research trees, maybe I should take a class."

"Funny...just take us to the tree." You held her hooves, and scrambled your way over to the dead looking tree.

"Put your hand in the hole."

>"That's some dirty shit, Dash." You laughed, reached inside of the dead oak tree's hole, and pulled a strange feeling appendage.

The tree trunk slid open in a swift motion, and it revealed a decent looking nook.

>You set Dash down onto a raggedy linen bed and pulled a dusty stool from the other side of the room over to her bed.

>"Okay, now Rainbow; I'm no doctor..."

"You think I care? I'm bleedin' out here!" She cried, which lead the door to your hideout to slam shut.

>"Put this in your mouth, and bite down hard." Shoving her torn hood in her face, Rainbow opened wide and bit down hard on the fabric.

>"This is going to hurt..."

"No shit sherlock."

>You spun your hand around the hilt of the acidic looking iron dagger, and began to pull it out as fast as humanly possible.

Only pained, muffled shouting came out of Rainbow's mouth. And the occasional profanity.

After one last good tug, the blade came free; covered in a slick coat of red blood.

>"Looks like this WAS the sharpest knife in the drawer."

Rainbow just rolled her eyes in frustration.

>"This is my last bit of booze...shit." You took a swig of gin, and gave Rainbow a caring look. Though it didn't help as much when you were drizzling a constant flow of gin on her open wound.

"MMMPFHH!" She cried, as you finished pouring the last of the gin on her wound.

Her little blue hooves kicked and wiggled until the pain subsided. You cut the now dried rag into a more petite bandage, and carefully wrapped it around Dashie's cleaned wound.
>You rub the knife's blade on your sleeve, and mostly clean it of blood.

>BARKEEP'S BLADE ADDED TO INVENTORY

>"How're you feelin, Dash?"

"..."

>"Is this place really a secret?"

"...Yeah...nobody'll know where to look..if they..follow the trail."

>"That wound isn't going to be a quick fix; I need to find something to completely fix it up." 

"...Stay the fuck away from Town Hall; Twilight and her crew are spearheading the parade.."

>"Where can I find something that'll fix you up?"

"Rarity...Carousel Boutique...to the west of here."

>"Can you walk?"

She wasn't talking any more, she passed out. Not due to blood loss you could imagine; but just to rest.

>"Sleep well, Dashie." You patted her rainbow mane with a sincere smile.

You're on your own now, what will you do? Nobody is going to find Rainbow, everybody is at the town meeting.
>You summoned forth the spirit of Hattori Hanzo and crept your way out of the tree hideout.

>Your mission was to gather a needle and thread from the boutique to the west of here.

>Mission Impossible motherfucker.

>Tip toeing towards the fruity looking purple building, you managed to make little to no sound.

>Placing your hand on the shiny doorknob, you turned it slowly.

>It was unlocked; and the time has come to unleash the beast.

>Oh wait, somebody's home.

"Why hello there, welcome to the Carousel Boutique; I am Rarity!" Cheered a happy white mare; putting on a dashing grin.

>"Uh, hi; I'm sorry to intrude but uhm..."

Shit; what's a good excuse?

>"I've heard you're quite the expert when it comes to sewing. A friend of mine is hurt; I need a needle and thread." You began to reason with Rarity, hopefully she'd give you the supplies for free.

"Why of course, darling; that'll be forty bits!"

>"I don't have any money on me; can't I just get the supplies now and pay you back later?"

"No, I simply cannot allow you to leave here without paying me proper."

>"Is there another way I could pay you?"

"Why yes there is, I just got a new bottle of merlot wine; top of the line from Canterlot."

>"And...?"

"And I need somepony, or rather; somebody to test it for me.." She levitated a glass of red wine in front of your mouth.

>"Well.."
>"Sorry, I don't drink; last time that happened I woke up in bed with a pig covered in vaseline and a note telling me to call the guards."

"I understand, dear." She took the glass and chugged it down with a calm, glazed look in her eyes.

>Damn that wine looks so good...

>"I-I need the supplies; I'll give you this knife for a needle."

"Mmm, that hit the spot..."

>You show her the Bartender's dirk while she downed the remainder of the wine.

"I'll give you the thread for it, but you surely must finish this last bit of wine!"

>You're really dry, and you used the last of your liquor on Dash's wound...you might just have to bite the bullet here, then again you could just do the ol' Shorty technique and "Snatch and Run."
>"Ah, fuck it; right?" You took the green bottle of wine, and chugged down the last of the red liquid.

>It was really strong, a bittersweet taste; different from any other wine. But man did it taste good.

>All of a sudden, you felt really light-headed...this bitch drugged you!

>The world started to spin, and spin, and spin. Rarity's laughter echoed through your ears as your vision continued to spiral down to the ground.

>Everything went black, and you hit the ground with a lifeless thud.

>After what seemed like ages, you woke up drowsy and out of it.

"Oooh! My new bath toy is finally awake!"

>You spun around and were greeted with a soaking wet giant Rarity, you were standing right on the massive white mare's asscheek, blue diamonds and all. How she shrunk you with some wine is beyond you...but the objective now is to survive.
>"I ain't no toy, lady; let me the fuck go."

"Oh you're so cute when you get angry!"

>"I am not cute, you bitch; I'll fuckin' corn on the cob ya!"

"Hmph, you're..different." Rarity looked slightly interested.

>"Different? Fuck yeah I'm different, you haven't met a guy with more charm comin' out of his ass than me."

"Oh my~ quite the confident one; aren't you?"

>"Yeah, I am; I'm the most confident son of a bitch on the face of Equestria."

"Quite, even when dealing with such a big mare like myself..."

"I'm surprised that you haven't started begging for your life, they all usually get down on their knees and start kissing my flank."

>"I ain't kissin no flank, even if it is as nice as yours..."

"Oh pshaw, you're just saying that!" Rarity blushed, as the soapy bubbles in the tub popped.

>"Wish I was, but damn..."

"Well now; this is going far more differently than I expected."

>"I actually sort of appreciate the drink, but bitch; you can't shrink me!" You shouted. "Give me the thread and needle!"

"Hmm...you know, I think I'll give you them!"

>"Really?"

"Under one condition, dear."

>"What?"

"Somebody's going scuba diving~" She ran her hoof across her gigantic rump, and cooed.

>"H-holy sweet fuck on Marybelle..."
>"Do I even deserve to be in the presence of such a beautiful and bodacious booty?" 

"Oh my~ you're so charming! Much more so than any colt in Ponyville."

>Fuck, she does have a nice ass. But just complimenting this cunt is making you sick.

>"Some stallions just don't know a catch when they see it."

"My my my, you're..so nice!"

>"Lady, you haven't seen nothin' yet." You got down on your knees, and laid three long smooches on each of Rarity's big booty blue gems.

"That feels magnificent!" She splashed around with her hooves, it looked like tidal waves in the tub.

>It tasted like lavender and a bit of vanilla. "Rarity, you've got one hell of a wide rump; you know that?"

"Stop, you're too kind!"

>You latched onto the jello-like white rear of Rarity, and began to gently massage it with your entire body. She was getting the butt hug special; and the slick water didn't provide much traction for your fingers, but you made that ass ripple like an earthquake.

>Rarity's purple curly tail swished back and forth in joy; it was like poetry in motion.

>She was a curvy monsterpone, no wonder she makes her own clothing; her rear is gigantic.

"You know; I could deal with keeping you~" Rarity chuckled, as you continued to rub that fat flank of hers.

>Shit, this mental patient? Keeping you forever to use as an ass massager? For fuck sake; you gotta do something, she might ACTUALLY go through with this!

>You have to do something; you aren't really considering this, right? Right?!
>"Okay, beautiful; can we make a deal?"

"I'm listening~"

>"I need a needle and thread; I need it right now. If I don't get back to my friend, she's going to die."

"What'll you do in return?" Rarity narrowed her gaze.

>"What do you want in return?"

"I want you."

>"Me?"

"Yes, of course silly! I want YOU!"

>"Me for what?"

"I'll let you go back to your friend with the needle and thread; full size and all. And in return for that gracious act, you'll be all mine!"

>"All yours?"

"I'll keep you as a bath toy; and allow you to service my flank once a week."

>"Shit; that's a pretty good deal." You knew damn well that it wasn't for sweet merciful Christ, she was going to keep you for her ass.

"I'll even throw in a bottle of what I used to shrink you; drug free, darling!"

>"Can we go once a month?"

"Nope." Rarity snickered, you bounced on her butt like a trampoline from her laughter.

>"I'll do it; it'd be an honour." When you need to kiss ass, both metaphorically and literally, you do it. Especially if it's a gigantic dresshorse who'll sit on you like a chair and turn you into fodder.

>"I'm glad we could see eye to uh, bigger eye; dollface." 

Rarity's blue magical aura took over your body, and she laid you down on a nearby chair.

It would appear as though the deal was going smoothly, and Rarity was-

>Look at the size of that ass!

>You only got one shot, one glorious moment to do what you were destined to do.

>You've got your trusty camera, and a gigantic; soaking wet, dripping; curvaceous Rarity stepping out of the tub forehooves first.

>Moneyshot time?
>You press your big finger down on the button for your camera, luckily it was waterproof. Only the best in Equestria.

>A quiet click followed the input, and low and behold you got your moneyshot. A perfect view with uh, good composition!

>*ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED* THE FIRST OF MANY

>"Fantastic!" God you're lucky she didn't notice.

"What was that dear?"

>"Nothing, just uh; happy to have met you." You slid the camera into your pocket with a shy smile.

"I'm happy to have found you!"

>"So where's this wine you got?"

"Here you are." She held within her grip a thread, a needle, and a huge bottle of blue wine.

>You opened your mouth wide, and she drizzled a small bit of the blue wine into your small gullet.

>In an explosion of pink fog, your body grew, it felt like the best growth spurt ever. Your arms were feeling like jelly as they got longer, your legs felt like they were being pounded with baseballs as they got stronger and bigger.

>"Thanks for the good time, Rarity." You laughed, and took the needle and thread from her magical field.

"Anytime dear~ and by any time; I mean in about a week or so~"

>You hastily grabbed your things, gave Rarity a seductive wink; and left with a happy "See you later, you big monster mare you."

Before you continued, it was time to see that perfect shot you took while she had her back turned.
http://puu.sh/7Fci4.png
>"That ass though...that's the ass of champions." You continued to stare at that winning shot.

>"There's a meeting going on, I should do a bit of eavesdropping, see if I can dig up anything." You put the camera back around your neck, slid the needle and thread into your pocket; and went on your way with a bit of swagger in your step.

>You need a backpack, despite popular belief; video games lied about being able to shove infinite items in your pockets.

>As you step into town, it was still quiet as fuck; except around the town hall. Which was bustling and booming from the amount of ponies conforming on the location.

"Ladies and gentlecolts, we are in a state of emergency!" Mayor Mare shouted, she was like a ferocious dictator barking orders at her soldiers.

"We have a visitor, he is a green man; and he's a menace that must be stopped!"

>Well, you did burn whatever she had on her desk to ashes, so that was something...

"It seems that the more we grow, the more danger is let into our town!" She slammed her hoof on the podium in rage.

"First, that evil hearted Rainbow Dash killing Pinkie Pie and that innocent detective!"

>"What the fuck? That's bullshit if I've ever heard bullshit."

"And now, this-this arsonist running around harming unarmed barponies!"

>Unarmed? The fucker threw a knife at Rainbow Dash.

"And that is why, I am issuing a call to arms. Whoever captures the vile Rainbow Dash, and the bloodthirsty detective. Will receive two hundred thousand bits for their trouble!"

>The crowd stamped their hooves on the ground in a gigantic uproar, the hunt was on. You were the focus of a town's witch hunt.

>"Shit, I better get out of here before the speech ends.." You turned around and began to sprint out of town.

>Now all you had to do is make sure nobody followed you.

>You looked around, first to your left.

>"Nothing."

>Then to your right."

>"Nope."

>You did a full 360, nothing was there.

>"You know, I appreciate the act; but I think the way you're followin' me is a bit fucky, sweetheart!"

"How did you know!?" A white mare peeked out from behind a tree.

>"I could hear your thighs comin' from a mile away, there uh, thunderthighs."

"Aww...you have to ruin the fun, even for a sophisticated mare such as myself?"

>"Yeah, I told you; I'd be back next week for your ass."

"Fiinee..." Rarity galloped away, you foiled her plan to ghost you into showing Dashie's hiding spot.

>She's gone, for good; she doesn't know about the tree, or anything. That's good.

>You enter the tree with a short grunt, and walk over to Rainbow Dash. She was still sleeping on the bed, attempting to recuperate. 

>"This is gonna hurt you a lot more than it hurts me, Dash." You placed the thread through the needle, and began to sew up the dry gaping wound.

>Rainbow was starting to come to, and was sweating up a storm. And screaming like a banshee.

"Ah fuck it! AGH!" You carried on with the procedure, cringing with each thrust you took into her flesh.

>At last, you finished pulling the wound closed, and put the supplies back into your pocket.

>It looked like a retarded oompa-loompa did the sewing, but it was something.

>She is now wide awake, and a bit angry that you decided to not wake her up before you started to sew her cut up.

>There is also a typewriter on the nightstand, it looks like you could use it to record your thoughts.

>You step over to the typewriter, and relay what the fuck happened to you this day.

>*GAME SAVED*

>"It's getting late..."

"Yeah, I think we need to rest; what did you do to get that stuff anyway?"

>"You don't wanna know.."

"What should our next step be, Anon?"

>"You should stay in bed and rest, I think we need to get the word out to other cities. Like Manehatten, Canterlot, Appleoosa...and others."

"There's a radio station in town, you might be able to broadcast an SOS." Dash started to sit up.

>"No, you stay here; I'll go do what needs to be done." You pushed her back down to the mattress.

"Right."

>"But for now, let's rest...tomorrow, I'll go to the radio station."

"All right, sounds good. But before we go to sleep, remember...the DJ is a bit...crazy."

>"Let's just sleep, let's rest...we'll deal with it tomorrow."

>You drift into a deep sleep, laying your head on Rainbow's blue belly, and hanging your legs over the side of the bed.

>END OF DAY 1