===>tfw no kaiju mare gf=== A greentext present for a friend anon. ---------------------------- >tfw no city-wrecking kaijumare gf >looking up on your drive to work as a shadow falls over the highway >tail swishing as it spills over the big booty >the boom of rhythmic hoofsteps as you hear her sing >the speakers on the open air concert keep going >she's just swishing her hips now in the sunset lighting >hooves slamming on the dirt as she bounces on the equine equivalent on her toes >she takes a slow look across the highway as the traffic slows to watch >you just hope the bridge holds out from the quakes that send a neighboring car's hula girl dancing along to the giant horse >like spotlights, her eyes light your car in particular >she gives a wink and suddenly moves towards the bridge >a long stride comes down on the other side, making you bounce in your seat as her chest swings overhead >another step and she finishes lining up lengthwise with the bridge >drivers start to get nervous as you watch a drop of sweat splash down on a car in front of you >you can almost hear the massive muscles groan as her legs bend low, crouching >a driver freaks next to you and starts to get out but another droplet slaps down in front of him, making him stop and look up >you learn forward across the dashboard to see as well as the underside of her chest comes into view again >something else catches your view >massive mammaries bob down as she dips low and comes to a stop, the wobble distracting you as her body comes to a stop just overhead >you roll the window down, gaping >a nipple about the size of your whole car slips into sight >so low you can reach out and touch one >you can feel the heat emanating from her workout and taste the air tinging with the salt of her sweat >just as you think to do it, the body lifts back up, and then back down in what is no doubt just as breathtaking from the street party as well >she gets back up one last time, rising to her standing height, dwarfing the office buildings around the highway >the shadow plays back up across the highway as the sunset lights her flank behind her >she walks on, but not before a parting wink in your direction as she chants her limerick "...Conqueror..." ===Kaiju Waltz=== https://youtu.be/_rkSAUKV_TE >Dancing with your kaiju waifu ------------------------------ Giant dress. A mile of fabric at least. Dancing, moving. The empty stadium lights blind you to the outside world. For now it's just the two of you. She ducked and weaved, sometimes off rhythm as she stumbled and tried to deal with wearing some semblance of clothing for once. The entire ensemble was centered on a tarp turned dress. Her glittering tail pokes out through the dress, holding the outfit up so it was never quite touching the ground. It wasn't actually embroidered that well but they figured at her size she wouldn't notice the detail. Knowing her as you did, that wasn't the case. Her tiara, just a stage prop balcony railing with cheap decorations, twinkled in the bright light. Her mane tangled around it in snarls like it tends to do to whatever it touches. At your size you couldn't help but receive sharp reminders of how poorly put together this moment was. Still, she tried to lose herself in the moment. The concert speakers would wrap you in the music too if it weren't for the bang of her steps bleeding through the curtain of sound. Boom-thump-thump boom-thump-thump boom-thump-thump. You can see her counting her steps, trying to remember the lessons you gave her this morning. One-two-three one-two-three one-two-three Underneath it she moves and continues. Five minutes pass. Ten, then fifteen. She's trying to pull the dance out forever, ignoring the fact that the music player stopped a couple of minutes ago. You look up to that blissful smile underneath the "ribbon" tied into her mane then down to her face. Her joy doesn't dissolve, not even when she casts a glance, scrutinizing a piece of the clumsy stitching that's starting to come undone. It's not that she doesn't notice. No, you know that as she breaks backwards away from you, turns and twirls, concealing that strained part of the dress while she pretends that you're holding her like in the movies, it's just that she doesn't care. ===Kaiju Boxing=== "Orchid, what are you wearing?" >She raised a gloved hoof. >"Well after the mechanics got frustrated with having to fix the same stuff all the time when I had to fight jaegers..." "How often do you even fight? >"Not that often. It feels like forever between them." >She brought her forehooves together and rubbed the gloves against one another, the water making the rubbery material squeak. >"But then the R&D department wanted to do something based on some old design for 'kaiju mittens' and, well, here we are." "Kaiju mittens?" >She sheepishly looked away. >"One of dad's ideas." >"Getting punched hurts a little less now after they made replacement 'sock-em-booper' hands for the jaegers, too." "Seriously?" >The kaiju pony just nods her head reassuringly. >"I still lose, mostly, but one time I hid in the water just right and when I jumped out, I scared them enough to knock them down really quick. I felt so strong!" >She stomped her forehooves together excitedly. >"But then I heard how stressed out they were getting through the little radio thingy I clip onto my ear and I felt really bad. It was their first time, so I hugged them." >"I actually already went into a fight this morning before you got here." >She turned her head this way and that, body flexing to show off its form as she leaned over. >"Tada, no marks!" "So, wait, how come you usually don't have any marks when I visit? I know you don't fight that often, but you never have anything." >She raises an eyebrow, a tiny smarmy look on her face. >She brushes her mane back with a glove, ignoring how silly that looked. >"Kaiju are very, very tough. I can heal from most injuries without much problem and I always get a good night's rest afterwards." >She smiles sweetly and shifts her weight to get a tiny bit closer. >"Then I'm fine and right as rain by the time you come to see me." >You raise an eyebrow and she clears her throat. >"Also, it's kind of hard to see on me most of the time. Kaiju don't bruise so much like people do." =====War Pony==== >Onward to battle >War Ponies >Imagine something like that last lord of the rings movie where the charging war elephants are replaced with ponies. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The rolling thunder of a dozen massive war ponies stomping towards enemy lines caused a disoriented panic. A soldier stood his ground bravely, even as his comrades fled the encroaching terror. A puddle from the fresh rains an hour prior rippled with each step as a titan came closer and closer. He shouted for his allies to stand fast, but by then he was alone, sword and shield clutched in a trembling grasp. A hoof lifted above him and death came down on swift hoof. THUMP He opened his eyes and stopped screaming, finding the hoof rested right beside him. He was alive by some miracle of a narrow miss. Meanwhile, high above, a pony felt something yank a few strands of her mane. "I saw that, you know," her driver shouted over the din of battle as she lurched into movement once more. "Hm? Saw what?" "You missed that guy on purpose." "No, no I uh, I just didn't want to get my hooves dirty. Did you see that puddle? I want to give the cleanup guys a break for once." The driver rolled his eyes. "Have you actually hit anyone today?" "Sure I did. You remember that guy I bit, right? "That doesn't count, you just puckered up and grabbed him with your lips. That was more of a kiss than anything else; you even let him go." She flushed a bit despite the chaos and looked down to sweep aside some random cavalryman who managed to get close, gently driving them off. She lingered to stare at the small cavalry animal. The mighty war pony never got used to the similarities. She finally felt the will to speak again. "Oh come on, we're winning. If we start losing or if you get hurt, then I'll turn 'em into paste, is that okay? Besides, the archers on my back haven't stopped shooting this whole time." "I guess that's- you know there's an enemy soldier on your leg and about to stab you, right?" "Oh I know, he's been climbing this whole time. I'm giving him a chance to give up, or if we're lucky, he'll stay there 'till I get home. I've always wanted a pet." "You mean prisoner of war." "I'll name him George." =====Blue Dawn==== >Orchid is implied to be still growing. >Presently a category 1, the smallest possible. >Category 5 kaiju are the largest, but have no actual limit, just that they're HUGE. >Orchid could just keep growing. >And growing. >You open the window blinds before dawn to a blue sunrise from sheer bio-luminescence pouring from a megahuge Orchid sleeping, peacefully wrapped around the city, a soft smile on her face as her chest rises and falls, almost touching the city limits, but never quite there. >You turn on the kitchen light and make a cup of coffee. >When you return to the glass door to the patio, you notice the blue light has grown more intense. >A kaiju eye is cracked open, looking right at you. >You know she can't make any detail out other than to see a tiny black speck highlighted by a yellow porch light, but it still makes you feel nice when she whispers. >"'Morning." =====Horse Science====== >Bigpones captures you in wacky scifi science lab. >Desk and room cluttered with papers and instruments, boards detailing formulas and chemical chains you can't decipher. >Places you in a sealed container, drawing a claustrophobic stress to this laboratory mess. >A click and a whirr of a fan and pump and the air content begins to change. >Indeed, she begins to apply strange chemicals with a devilish smile, a pinkish fog enters your chamber and try as you might, you cannot hold your breath for long enough. >You inhale it, choking, gasping, cursing the monsterhorse and its ilk and then... nothing. >You stand there, breathing fine, a question on your lips as you are taken back out. >You are placed on the floor, a stereotypical white tiling that is cold to the touch, and a shadow falls over your spot. >You look up just in time to see a hoof coming down. >You feel the impact, but no matter how hard the horse presses down, you are not killed? >You are ground into the tile, the unforgiving weight of a hard but well-worked hoof the only other surface. >As a reprieve finally comes to you, you spot a tape recorder on the desk nearby. >"Subject 175 shows increased resilience as the last subject, but does not seem to be suffering any ill effects no matter how much weight I put on it." >She looks down at you now. >"Subject 175, are you hurt in any way?" "You just stepped on me! Why the hell did you just-" >"Yes. Subject 175 is fine." >She turns around, looking at one of the boards and you take the opportunity to get away before the shadow is back upon you again. >This time, she is facing her rear towards you. >"Commencing durability test 2. Subject 175 seems to be stuck between running or staying. If this is due to my figure and some perverse male attraction between species, or a dear-in-headlights-like panic response, I will ask later. If he survives." "Don't flatter yourself, lady." >And then the flanks fall. ==========The Lonely Pony============ >A lonely pony sprawls across a bed, twisting and turning until she was in just the right position. >Now on her side, she scooped something up from the nightstand and deposited it on the body pillow she wrapped herself around. >In the dim light of the candle lamp, she could see it as a collection of various city buildings. >A cure for a night of fitful sleep has turned into something of a habit as she carefully went about placing little plastic model after little plastic model on top of the pillow. >When all was said and done, she had itty bitty skyscrapers of nondescript types and other structures arrayed like a city on the pillow in two sections, separated by her forelegs. >She hugged the pillow closer, careful not to move it enough to knock the plastic buildings from their foundations. >She felt some touch against her stomach in the space between her rear legs and fore legs, which hugged the body pillow tightly against her body. >She slowed her breathing, testing if her rising and falling tummy might push any models over. >Satisfied that none were tilting dangerously, she sighed and looked to the buildings between her head and forelegs. >She eyed the nearest skyscraper and pretended in the dancing candlelight to see little figures behind the fake windows. >She inhaled and wished she could smell the aroma of a city; the restaurants busy serving evening meals and the voices and noises of people and cars. >In her fantasy, she was not alone in her bedroom, but instead a greatly admired colossus, loved and respected by the tiny city she safeguarded. >She could almost hear a tiny band trying to serenade her to sleep from the top of the building. "Goodnight, my little people; I love you." >She puckered her lips and shifted just enough to barely touch her mouth to the building, making an exaggeratedly slow and gentle kiss before resting her head further away on the pillow and blowing out the candle. =============Who is Best Pocket Poni?========= Twilight for nerdy stuff/college-stuff. However, I must insist that Roseluck or rather, the Flower Trio, make for the best pocket pones. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Oh boy, time for some home renovations. >You casually walk along rows of flowering plants and shrubs, ferns and fruit trees, searching for the right plant to spruce up your home. >You weren't gifted with a green thumb, but you had a secret weapon. >Three of them, actually. >"Anon, anon!" a small voice calls from your shirt pocket. >You glance down to a tiny equine waving a hoof for attention. "Yeah, Rose?" >"Check out those flowers over there." "What, oh, you mean the roses?" >"Of course the roses! We should get some, that red would look great with your roof!" "Well-" >"Hey!" >Another tiny pony popped out of the pocket poking her head out over the edge. >"Don't listen to her, you should get those lilies!" "Lily, I'm not sure if-" >A third one appeared. >"No, they're biased, you should get some daisies!" "Daisy, aren't you kind of biased too?" >"That's right, so you should definitely spruce up the house with roses!" >"Roses will clash with the butterfly garden; tiger-lilies!" >"Ugh, but daisies are the only choice for a happy, sunny home!" >You stop there amidst the flower section of the home improvement store, listening to the three bicker. >You should have thought this through more. >You end the day with a rose, a lily, and a daisy. >You instead bought a small orchid ===============Pocket Poni Daisy [from the mechanon series]======= The cutest little helmet! >Tiny alien soldier pony Daisy will never play Risk with you. >You will never totally forego the normal games rules because the miniponi not from Earth doesn't know them anyway. >She will never "fire for effect" and open up a tiny volley of fire at a line of plastic solders with a few puffs of smoke and flashes of light. >You will never her see her triumphant, beaming face as she knocks down a row of game pieces, the weapons so small they can only break ranks rather than break pieces. >You will never see her give the order to charge and you will absolutely never, ever, push lines of her own troops forward, sliding them across the map with your hands as they swarm past her in a flood of silent plastic while she yells a wacry that barely oversteps your quiet battle roar. "Raaah." >"Yaaaah!" >You will never play dramatic orchestral music as you do so and then deliver her the prize from the enemy stronghold, an after-battle peppermint. >You will never do the same but with her commanding a line of model soldiers from Warhammer 40K against the xeno menace. >She will never get really into it as you play a long string of action noises; artillery booms in the background with staccato machinegun fire in the front from a nearby laptop on the table. >"Give no quarter to the heretics!" she yells as she flings dice, landing on a good roll for her attacks. >You will never hear her bark reassurances to her plastic figure soldiers when the enemy forces rally and charge her defensive line. >"Stay strong, the pony empire is with you! Hold the line!" ==================Lights of Life=========================================== >Big ponies the size of mountains. >They don't see individuals save for a teeny tiny speck of the bright, safety orange of your mountain climbing clothes. >Benevolent, malevolent? >More like, they don't acknowledge you exist most of the time. >They just don't comprehend the idea of a civilization so small. >The tiny golden lights of a city sprawled out across the ground are just pretty grains of sand on their bed or in their garden. >A landmass approaches in the dead of midnight. >But it stops after crushing an unknowable number on the way to the city limits. >There it sits, flank parked over a suburb. >Tail sweeps idly, billowing a great wind across several highways. >Eternal pits of darkness, the pupils, sparkling with the reflections of the city lights as it watches. >"So pretty," it says, looking from the stars above to the many twinkling lights in the city below. >A groggy yawn and the monsterhorse rolls on its side, hooves spayed out just so, mane brushing across the landscape. >A new mountain has been added to the city's borders, and air traffic is given directions to avoid collision. >Guarantee some kids will try climbing it. >They'll likely regret such a reckless decision, but police can't be everywhere at once and at least for now, as the massive form sighs peacefully, the night will be relatively safe and sound. >In the morning the city will be far less visible to the gigantic creatures and as usual, their motives and desires are as unknown as their death tolls as they walk about every day. >It will likely go back to the usual worry for survival, but for now, this night is another calamity dodged for those in this particular city. ==============Big Romance=============== >bigpone lovers will never share a passenger train between the two of them, chomping more and more of it or slurping it up from either end like a romantic pasta noodle, finishing in that eventual kiss over a candlelight (read: burning smokestacks from a factory). >After dinner, they have an array of special gourmet treats (various types of cars) from their desert tray (factory parking lot). >The music is as romantic as any could hope for, featuring a menagerie of world-renowned artists (the radio cranked up from a suped-up car's boosted speakers). >When they give in to their passions, they feel the earth rumble around them. =======================Food Nonsense==================== >gentle mare vore >How it is even possible? ---------------------------------------------------------- Can you not see it? In a world of equines who have no hands? Can you not feel the caress of the only grabbing instrument they are blessed with? It matters not. When your earth pone flower trio waifu picks you up, it'll be with her mouth. Why risk killing a friend with clumsy, dirty hooves? When company unexpectedly pops in and she tries to hide you in a flash when you were having lunch together, she'll scoop you up in her mouth. There, you'll wait it out amidst the partially chewed remains of her salad while some random other pony blabbers on about other things. You try to move away from the pools of drool, tiny bits of food, and salad dressing collecting as she tries to split her focus between making sure you don't get eaten and looking like she's paying attention to the conversation. Her tongue shifts as you move across it, making you fret as you tramp across tastebuds. Fortunately, she dutifully manages to keep the gossiper, and the temptation to swallow her mouth full, at bay. You hear the other pony leave and you bounce unsteadily as your caretaker ambles suddenly to some unknown place. You hear the click of a door lock and shortly after, you are bathed in blinding light as she opens her mouth, looking at you through the reflective surface of a bathroom mirror. Soaked with juices both salad dressing and saliva, and with bits of lettuce in your hair, but none the worse for wear, you are let out onto the counter where she apologizes profusely for the panicked handling of the visitor. But that is what you have come to expect at this point. Easily startled, but protective of her secret friend. You accept the apology, but she darts forward for another lick, wiping off a glob of salad dressing with a bashful smile, admitting that you go well with the flavor before offering you a more formal, and safe, ride back home in her mane. =====================TFW Ultra================= Writing Prompt: >tfw you will never be Ultramare >tfw you will never be able to exact revenge on MMP Anons who fetishize you and your fights for justice ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A pony tromps across the evening snow in the nondescript outskirts of a nondescript town where a nondescript forest meets the uninteresting group of people which call the area home. Her breath was visible in the air, forming a mist that plumed in front of baseball cap and trench coat. The heavy, concealing suit was not her first choice, but it was her only choice. She reads off a roadsign, though with all this snow there was almost no sign of a road at all. This was the place. She knocks on the door and a figure opens it from the other side. "Hello? Wait, Ultramare?!" "Hi," she said flatly. "Ohmigosh, this is the best Christmas ever!" He stepped closer for a hug before she stopped him with a hoof. "Yes. Best Christmas ever. Look, we need to talk. Stop posting lewd stuff about me." "Wh-what?!" he began, blushing. "But Ultra, I-" "If you don't stop, I'll make you stop. Trust me, it won't be pretty. Do it again, and I'll grow and sit on your car. Second time? I'll stomp your house to pieces. Third? I'm coming for you, and I might do anything. I could crush you until you scream for mercy, I could even eat you," she said with venomous promise. "It'll be terrible and-" a smartphone pinged from inside her coat and she brought into the chilly air to inspect the screen. There was a new post; a lurid picture of her rear end. Then another beep and another picture. It continued until she realized her phone wasn't the only one chiming. The icy pony slowly raised her gaze to see the man furiously pressing buttons on his own smartphone. Every time it beeped, hers chimed with a new post about her, each one more lewd than the last. He looked up, making eye contact with the pony. "Oh no, you caught me!" he said, grinning. "So, I guess you have to do some things to me now, huh? She glared at him, but stepped backwards. "No, I know your game. You're one of /those/ people." "Hey, come back!" "No." "Come on, Ultra!" "No!" She suddenly shifted, growing in size as the fabric fought to keep her covered. New-found scale, her strides quickly outpaced her rabid fan. He eventually slowed down as she wound her way well out of sight. "But... but... I love you, babe." As she ran down the street in full retreat, winter chill keeping her wide awake and fully focused on her disgust, his camera beeped and his attention shifted. "Oh, hey, at least I got a nice shot of her butt when she ran off. Just need to upload this one... and... done. Posted." Nearly a mile down the road, a smartphone chimed, and the roar of outrage that boomed back up from that direction made the man smile even more as he chuckled. ============Politics and Ponies======== >tfw surrounded by faggots >tfw no conservative bigpone waifu who understands the importance of traditional family values ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A crowd of people streamed through the gates to leave the park in the middle of town square. He spotted his ride, eagerly waiting besides a couple of pickup trucks. She was a big'un alright, a down to earth, hard-working earth type that towered over the mechanical automobiles around her even as she lay down in the shade of a grand oak tree, taking up multiple parking spaces. "What a rally, am I right, big girl?" He patted her affectionately and scratched her side for a moment. "We need to restore the nation!" "Yeah!" she chimed enthusiastically while watching the much smaller form of her owner clambered on top of her broad back. "I heard what they said from all the way across the square! Ethics are the founding part of a society and people are losing them these days." "Darn right! Honey, back to the farm we go." "Yes sir," was the chipper reply and the two were off, careful to avoid hitting any cars. "One of these days, hon', they oughta have a lane or an expanded sidewalk or something. Would hate to see someone get their car wrecked because they tried to zip in without a turn signal." "Well we haven't had a real accident yet, sir; we'll be back home in no time." "Perfect," the man said, wiping at his brow and readjusting his cowboy hat in the afternoon sunlight. "This is a hot day, isn't it?" The huge pony looked behind at her rider for a second to nod before putting her eyes back on the traffic around them. "It is." "Oh my poor baby," he said with an affectionate pat and feeling the sweat staining her dusty coat "that's alright. I tell ya what, we'll give you a nice hose down and clean you up a little in the wash rack once we get back." "Sounds great, I'm going to need it." A small car alongside the pony suddenly honked its horn, causing the pony to startle and the rider to shout. "What's the matter with you? You trying to get crushed, man?" The offending car rolled down its windows with a ruckus of laughter. "Nice pony! Get ready to lose the next election like last time, republi-fag!" They must have seen her bumper sticker. "Yeah? Come up here and say that to my face-oh, sorry; smart car!" The towering pony blew a raspberry and the man and his horse laughed together all the way to the next intersection, where he tapped her side a few times with his shoes for attention. "Honey!" "Yes sir?" "Pound it!" "Anytime!" she replied briskly and balanced on three legs to raise a fourth up to her passenger. He extended out a fist bump to the awaiting hoof. The two walked back with high spirits, united in a bond of mutual disgust for rude hippies and smart cars. =============Storefront Destruction====== I don't find destruction cute. Whats the appeal? -------------------------------------------- Probably like a lot of other size-oriented tastes; I think it's the power aspect. Normally mighty structures of concrete and steel along a street venue. A quake and a boom and suddenly something rips through from the back, flying towards the glass store front and its menagerie of lingerie you had been staring at for a little too long. A leg smashes them aside, sending shards of the plexiglass onto the street and mannequins soaring as if diving for cover. The leg plants down on the sidewalk with a solid clunk of a hoof on concrete. The rest of the body soon starts to pull itself through, pushing out the walls as the structure gives from something as large as the building trying to worm its onto the street. Pipes break and spray water across the form you can see break into the front room as the back walls simple crumble, dusting the coat of a massive beast's other front leg. It flexes as it pauses for a moment in the growing cloud of dust and debris. The uncertainty passes in a glimmer and the column of flesh continues forward, the ceiling constantly breaking and surrendering to the movemen until it meets the few remains of the glass front and smashes through it as well. The dust continues to cloud and pour, hiding the rest of the legs and body as they move in concert, now confident enough that the building will not stop it on its mysterious venture. Everything stops. The particular store, one of several on the strip mall, is officially rubble. Or so you can only guess as the dust billows and rolls outwards in all directions. As it begins to settle and you peak out from your cover in a bus stop's shelter decorated with advertisements for socks you realize you didn't look up at the face that was staring down at you the whole time. ====Human Watching====== Giant pony has a crush on you. >Like a CRUSH on you. >You've caught her slipping, tumbling, sinking, fumbling, clumsy cuz she's fallen in love. >She wants to have some kind of a relationship but she views you more as a pet than a romantic partner. >That's right, it's puppy love. >Every Sunday morning she dons a cardboard box, her usual bow, and waits outside your house. >There's a heavy rapping on the door, like a gorilla was trying to smash it's way in. >You get up and open it as anyone would, only to find no one there. >If only you would glance far enough to the side, to that massive mound of yellow just off to the side, poorly taking cover behind a tree far too small. >There she would be: a big blush and a big smile across her big face. >She looks you over from her hiding place, noting the coffee cup in your hand. >That mild, whooshing breeze? >She's trying to smell what sort of coffee you're having this time. >Hazelnut? >Black? >Any sugar or cream? >Milk? >She whips out a notepad and starts scribbling when you go back inside, a giggle and the scratching of a quill echoing after the door closes. >She loves human watching. =======Cotton Candy====== Someone posted a picture of a tiny pony in a bag of cotton candy. She also had smaller bags of cotton candy around her. I knew then what had to be done. ----------------- "Step right up, step right up ladies and gentlemen!" Your day at the carnival hadn't quite gone as expected. Your date turned out to be a total bore. Sweet, but she's so scared of herself or of doing anything that you were actually happy to see her off. You folded your second ticket over in your pocket. Now you were on the last day of the carnival on your two-day pass. She said she loved the carnival, but she made it clear earlier that she didn't want to spend it with you after yesterday. You went to day two in the hopes of curing your weekend boredom and sense of self-worth. "Come one come all, try your luck! Everyone wins a special prize!" You drew a card and got a picture of a happy, fat guy eating food. What. The card was taken from your hand and the mustachioed man laughed. "Good choice! Enjoy your cotton candy! I'm sure you'll love her!" "Her?" You're pushed out of the tent with a bag pressed into your arms. You catch your footing on the ground outside and spin around. "Hey! Don't-" you're blocked from re-entry by a solid wall. "Oh son of a bitch." You give it a few vengeful raps before stomping off. Between two tents, you finally decide that you want a bite of cotton candy. You lift it up to look at the bag and see a little toy unicorn with little miniature bags of cotton candy around her, all in your larger bag of larger cotton candy. "Wha, seriously?!" you whine. And then the little unicorn blinks at you questioningly. "Um, who are you?" “Gah!” You jump and drop the bag, eliciting a tiny "Oof! Be careful!" As you stand there the unicorn continues to grumble at you. "You're lucky this cotton candy is so cushy, you know!" ================Pringles Chip Ponies========= Open up a can of new chips. >Freakin cylindrical goodness. >Sour cream and onion hits you in a wave as you pop the top. >You peer inside and... "What?" >Inside the can is a bunch of miniponies all stacked up on top of one another. >They all look up in a domino effect, top one first, then the one below her, and the one below her and etc. >Each one has a fake mustache strapped to their muzzle. >"Hi!" they all say in unison. >With a snap the third one from the top suddenly loses her mustache with a cry of dismay. >"Oh no! Did anyone catch that!" >A hoof shoots out from somewhere down the column and a voice hollers back up. >"Yeah! Got it number three!" >"Thanks!" >The second one from the top peeks out from underneath the top one and waves a hoof. >"Hey, new friend! Can you let us out?" >The fourth one down brushes a dangling tail out of her eyes from the third pony down and gives the cutest smile. >"Pretty please with sugar on top?" >A chorus of pleas call out in agreement and the poni tower shifts a little against one side of the tube, prompting a series of squeals and cautious noises. >"Everyone okay?" the tenth one down shouts. >A throng of voices chatters for a few seconds and then goes silent. >"Yeah, we're good, ten!" one of them further down than you can make out replies. >"They're heavy!" a voice from far below calls out and they all look down in that same domino effect. >"Sorry ninety-five!" the sixth one down calls down. >"Yeah, sorry!" says...honestly you can't see that far down. >"Just hurry up, please!" comes that same voice from the bottom. >The second one from the top puts a hoof to her mouth to throw her voice downwards. >"We're trying, ninety-five!" >There's a murmuring from all up and down the stacked poni tower. >One of them shushes the rest and they collectively hush to look to you for a verdict. >The top one readjusts her fake mustache and lifts a hoof plaintively. >"So, new friend, will you help us out of here?" ====================My What Big============================ Man, the pair of gigantic eyes are even better than the snout. ----------------------------------------------------------------- You lean about as far as you dare over the side to see her lower extremities. "What big hooves you have!" The ground about you rumbles and twitches as she mouths out a reply. "All the better to hug you with." "What big legs you have!" "All the better to run with you, my anon." You pause for a second, trying to remember the rest of it. "And, what big ears you have!" The radar dish sized ears twitch and flick, focusing on you even harder. "All the better to hear you with, my anon." She blinks at you, what amount of her visage you can see from this angle showing pure contentedness. But what was next? What part came next? She blinks and you suddenly look up again. "My what big eyes you have!" "All the better to see your tiny shape with." "Oh, what big teeth you've got!" You feel the platform beneath your feet wrinkle up as muscle flexes and flesh moves in a smile. Her eyes narrow at you intently. She mouths the rest of her sentence with slow deliberation. "All the better...to..." The goofy look you wear so well is immediately banished. "Aaaaahfuck" you hiss quietly. You knew you shouldn't have said that last bit. Your love of folktales has imminently doomed you. You look between her eyes as they regard you, standing atop her muzzle, trying to read those grand apertures. She's not going to take this joke any further, right? Right?! Close up you can see a certain sparkle in the depths of her eyes. She's thinking mischievous thoughts. You open your mouth. "Don't you da-" your statement turns into a cry of protest as a hoof suddenly scrapes you off of her nose and in one smooth motion suddenly shoves you against her lips where they tighten around you in a seal. A brief moment of suction later and you're swiftly returned to your perch on her muzzle. "All the better to kiss you with, my anon." From your position you can't really see it, but you just know she's wearing a shit-eating grin. "What, did you really think I was gonna try somethin'?" ============================Power================================= >the idea of being that giant friend strikes me as oddly appealing ------------------------------------------------------------------- Hell to the yeah. Having all that sheer raw power. It needs no expression, no proof, no threats; it's just there. And they know it. Only thing stopping a simple step, squeezing down from above is a sigh and the notion that afterwards she'd feel bad. When her stomach rumbles she eyes them, sizing up the smaller life around her. It'd be so easy, just a little lick and a swallow. They wouldn't see it coming, and if they did, what could be done? She lowers her lips down and CHOMP, pulls up a tree, munching on it distractedly as her thoughts swirl around in her head. Boy, this tree sure is good and more importantly NOT her friends, so good it, oh who is she kidding; the temptation is still there. She casually watches a few specks walking by. One of them waves and she puts on a smile, waving a hoof timidly as she munches on the tree, mouth closed in a slightly more dignified manner. She carefully looks behind herself, checking the ground to make sure it's void of any random bystanders. Satisfied, she plops down, bringing the many tonnes of weight and mass onto the ground idly. She doesn't get to sit down much for fear of crushing some hapless bystander. She swallows the splintered and mushed up remains of the tree in her mouth, feeling it slink down her throat as a big pulpy mess. She yawns idly as she dares to lie down at the outskirts of the city, dwarfing building and man alike. And yet, there's no running, no screaming, no cries of terror or anything of the sort. Maybe for more careless beasts, but no, not her. Sometimes she thought about wanting that fear, that unease, that... respect? Respect born of terror? Was that really respect, or was she more respected now as a protector, safe to approach, safe to mess with, the butt of jokes, while other monsters are spoken of only in whispers? She closes her eyes, and sighs, all too ready for a nap. ========Sugar Lump============== Mini pony in your tea/coffee/hot chocolate? -------------------------------------------- >It's that time again. >You warily eyed a tiny poni on your breakfast tray. >More precisely, she was bathing in liquids. >That's right, Sugar Lump was once again in your morning drink. >You angrily look down on the miniponi lazily loafing about in your cup nestled between your cookies and cupcake. >Now that you look at it, you question your choice in breakfast items. "Get out of there, you're a horse; horses aren't for drinking!" >She grins and flutters her eyes behind those itty bitty glasses she wears. >"They can be if you want them to." "No, I'm thirsty, shoo, get out." >"Relax, it won't get cold." "Really?" >"Yeah," she re-adjusts her specs and winks, "I'm too hot! Ahahahaha!" >She sinks down further into the drink, guffawing. >Of course, how could you forget her cringe-worthy sense of humor? "But that's mine, I paid for it and everything!" >"And you got your money's worth too!" "Sugar!" >She just moans contentedly. >"I'm staying put, this is a really nice hot tub." "Why, Sugar, why?" >She just chuckles and waves a hoof. >”Because I got the... HOTS, for ya. Get it? Hm? Maybe?” "You're almost as bad as Clay, you know that?" >"I dunno, I'd have to try snorkeling in your bath like she did that one time." >You lay your head on the table, banging on it with a thump that rattles the breakfast tray. "Why do I keep coming to this cafe?" >Sugar Lump rises up out of the drink with an almost bashful smile. >You look up without moving your head to find her standing up, leaning on her front hooves on the rim of the cup. >"Because you need your daily dose of sugar," she purrs. >Damned mini ponies and their puns. =====Rainbow Squadron==== Flying in formation with a giant rainbow horse. This would have been really weird if he hadn't done this before. A lot. His own fightercraft zoomed through the air, pulling away from the rest and climbed, stabilizing at an upper height. A shadow fell across his wings and he glanced behind him. The pegasus was closing in on him from his six o' clock. She was deviating from the usual, tonguelollingg out of her mouth as she approached. Her forelegs reached out in front of her and he scowled. If she got any closer this might get dangerous. A collision might not be fatal for her at her massive size, but he knew she was well aware of the dangers for aircraft. He wiggled his wings to urge her to back away but she only encroached further, her eyes only for the small plane in front of her. "Back up, damnit!" he swore and tried to break away from her. Still, she followed easily, honed wing muscles pumping harder to pull her closer and closer. She homed in like a laser. She was right behind him, her hooves reached further than his plane's nose on either side and he yanked on the control stick. This wasn't part of the trick! This wasn't part of the trick at all! The hooves extended further and further from his peripheral vision as she drew close. He spared a glance over his shoulder and froze, staring at it. The radio vaguely crackled something at him, pleading for a report but he didn't pay it any attention. Her jaws were encompassing his vision overtop and below, tongue stretched out like a runway to take him in. If he turned or made any sudden flight path changes he'd crash into her. As more and more of her mouth filled his view he was forced to fly straight and true, making it all the easier for his assailant. Great globs of saliva landed on the plane, testament to her hunger. They hit the wings, throwing all sense of balance off as they slathered his craft. He tried to retain balance but the added and rapidly sliding weight did him no favors. Her tongue rose up to take his plane in and he was slammed around inside his cockpit as it struck the bottom of the nimble fighter. He lost his grip on the controls but it didn't matter, her lips closed, blotting out all light. It was finished. All around him he heard sloshing liquid as she turned and maneuvered through the air. A conceited laugh was all that he got in response to his pleas. He could barely see the console in this total blackout, his controls illuminate and telling him nothing particularly useful. He cursed and swore and spat and when that failed to get any results save for her undulating her tongue playfully, he readied his survival kit. As he psyched himself up to get out and take the fight to the horse before she swallowed him plane and all or perhaps worse, decided to try and crunch him up into little bits with her teeth, her mouth opened, letting a flash of light in. Outside were the crowds, collectively gasping. The tongue, plane still stuck to it and all, hung out in the open to display her prize and her voice rumbled around his plane. "Tada!" ===== >Something was different tonight in the kaiju den. >The creature in question leers your direction, expression brimming with what you hope is only pseudo aggression. >The electric blue, neon-sign-esque eyes glower with intensity. >Even the antennae seem to be fixated on your position. >You shuffle uncomfortably and you swear they moved a little in response. >Worst of all, you can’t stop looking at the teeth in her mildly disgusted expression, though the sound of disturbed water causes you to flick your gaze over at her hooves. >The large slabs of armor twitch slightly and the pier’s columns make a harsh noise of metal rubbing on concrete as the limb menacingly rub in tiny circles. >Sometimes you uneasily wonder how much effort she actually needs to use in order to break them. >This was one of those times as a sudden pause in the grating noise gives you a moment to speak. "O-Orchid?" >"Dah, comrade?" "What are you doing?" >Her tough look cracked a little, her jutting chin dissolving into a more normal look. >"I am trying to be of the stern Russian." “Russian?” >”Da, ya zhestokaya russkoy Kaiju , samaya mogushchestvennaya , samaya grubym zashchitnikom chelovechestva.” “Um… what?” >”Vash kollega skazal, chto vy dumali, inostrannyye devushki milo. YA milyy?” "Where and why did you learn Russian?" >"Your favorite is Chrno Alpha, yes? I also heard you prefer this accent. Comrade." "Who told you that?" >"Daddy did. He said he was checking your file." >She looked rather analytically for a moment, eyes scanning up and down. >”But I thought only science projects needed files,” she mumbled. >There was a pause and her eyes widened. >”Were you secretly made, too, um comrade?” “Yeah, sure, like all humans.” >The monsterhorse’s mouth swung open and hung there, shocked. >”Humans are made?” “No, no, I was trying to be funny.” >The kaiju harumphs and squints at you. >”I can’t tell sometimes. Your faces are really small.” *Да, я жестокая русской Kaiju , самая могущественная , самая грубым защитником человечества . *Ваш коллега сказал, что вы думали, иностранные девушки мило. Я милый? ====================================================================================================== Which Monsterhorse is scarier? Orchid or Ultramare? Like if it was latevat night, and out of nowhere one of them cane barreling towards you, which one would you rather see (assuming they act in their natural way)? Regular horses galloping towards you is scary enough, let alone 100 foot ones. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Out for a nightly stroll. >The sirens of a kaiju attack play out, just barely poking out over your obnoxious mp3 player's pounding music. >You continue on towards the park., >The odds are a million to one that there'd be any monster activity in the NorthWest section. It just didn't happen. >You cast a long look over your shoulder towards the East side where all the monsters seem to love to venture. >Those poor sods. >as you round a corner onto an empty intersection, you see that one in a million. >A large amount of water drips from a creature with rubbery gray skin. >You glance down the street to see puddles of water slowly merging with the growing pool just beneath the beast. >Long tendrils of a thick and lengthy tail droop like severed power lines across the road. >Glowing tips of electric blue sway ever so slightly in the night breeze. >Following up along the body to a strange etched mark, aglow with its own patch of highlighted blue. >Towards the front is a vaguely equine face like that of the famed Ultramare. >Sprouting from it is a horn with a glowing spiral surrounded by a mess of mane hairs, also with small, illuminated ends. >You slowly unplug your your buds, freezing on the spot as one of them points in her direction. >The sound of the music player is nearly inaudible against the dull ring of the kaiju siren, and yet an ear of the beast flicks. >It snaps its head in your direction. >The sudden blue glow causes a pang in your chest as your heart kicks into overdrive. >Things seem to slow as you notice its tail seem to undergo a sudden change. >The strands bunch up, rapidly flowing together to create a replica of a shark's tail, some of the tail's ends dimming their lights. >The result reminds you of a thresher shark's tail while the tip glows unearthly. >Blue eyes, lit with that same electric blue like spotlights, flick up above you expectantly, then across the street to a parked car, and finally, to you. >The creature does not linger long before taking a couple of thudding steps to center itself in the middle of the street. >More booms sound but it takes a moment to register that the large, armored hooves haven't moved. >Rather, they're coming from behind you. >They are also growing more rapid. >You twist around just in time to see another massive monsterhorse, this one twice the size of the other. >The spandex hero, Ultramare. >"Orchid! Your time is at an end!" your rescuer roars with enough volume to cause several glass windows to outright shatter. >The kaiju slowly raises its gaze up and up, the tail subconsciously reassembling into a long, horizontal whale's tail, and then as her expression changes, into something more resembling that of a Japanese fighting fish you so often find in pet stores. >You scramble to cover in the entrance of a closed and empty corner store, but allow yourself to follow the monster's focus. >Well above many of the city's buildings, this newcomer's body is a pale yellow color with a skintight blue suit barely constraining the awesome titan. >Her legs are stretched out to find support in adjacent streets, so large is her main body. >The Kaiju's jaw drops, lighting spilling from its innards and against its slimy teeth. >Ultramare continues on, face scowling with hatred. >"Orchid! Did you hear me? The corp wants me to give you three chances, to come peacefully to be studied, but I know you better so you only get two!" >Finally, the kaijupone's mouth manages to move. >"Ulty, how'd you get so big? I want to be big like that, too." >Ignoring the question, Ultramare promptly charges your direction. >"Times up!" >Another set of thunderous hoof-falls alerts you to the kaiju doing the same. >You're trapped between two crazed science experiments. >Faced with two monstrosities, you can only pray that Ultramare can still notice you from her height. >Ending up as collateral damage in a giant monstermare fight is not what you wanted on your tombstone. >You can't help but wince as the two combatants hurtle towards one another. >At the last possible second, the kaiju ducks. >All however-many-tonnes of monsterhorse scrape and slide underneath the larger Ultramare >As her face goes flying past you and Ultra's foreleg, Orchid locks her glowing eyes on you. >Her tongue sticks out like it was all a game or some joke you and she were in on. >With that, she is out, bolting down another street with a monstrous chortle. >You're about to peel yourself off of the building when one of Ultra's hooves slams down hard enough to shatter concrete and you feel the ground quake hard enough to make you lurch into the air. >When your tailbone hits the sidewalk, you grunt, a hand instinctively flying to your face to protect against the flecks of debris pinging against the concrete next to you. >"You won't get away this time!" the suited pony roars and starts off in pursuit of the kaiju. >As the cries of "Surrender to justice, you villain!" rapidly fade into the distance as they put more and more buildings between you and the action, you sigh. >Having nearly been stuck between the kaiju and the city defender, your heart is racing. >Who was more scary? >You honestly couldn't say. ====The Shock of a Cleaned OP Post======= Just another late night of MMP surfing. Scanning along for anything particularly interesting was a roll of the dice. Tonight’s outcome? Boring with a capital “B. ” In the dim glow of the computer screen, the figure in the room was suddenly distracted from his endless ride. Something thumped the ground. Hard enough that he could feel it through the floor. He heard something outside his window and cautiously opened it. He was greeted with the face of a giant cartoon pony smiling with a cocksure air. “Here I am,” the pony said, ”at long last to make your monsterhorse dreams come true! Oh I got hoofies, I got mouthing,” she swung her flank from side to side and wiggled her eyebrow, “I got things I ain’t even tried! And I heard ya like big pones, from tha other side.” “The other side? From heaven?” “No, I mean I’m from the MMP threads.” “Oh.” “So what do ya say, will you shake a pony's hoof? Let’s make a night of it, I got everything you could want.” He looked the equine up and down and then said in the most sincere voice, “You’re not Sequoia.” The pony of unusual size wrinkled her snout. “Wha- oh come on, I can be cute too, see?” She rolled onto her back, grinning upside down at him. Before he could reply she suddenly looked like she had realized some great and important secret of life. “Oh wait! I shouldn’t have rolled over- I’m not good at getting back up as a horse yet!” She began to trying to roll over and stand on all fours, failing miserably. “Don’t just stand there, help me!” “How am I supposed to do that, you weigh at least eight tons!” "Well fine, I'll just-" she peered in through the window at the computer screen facing the window. “What’s that?” “That’s the thread.” “I can read, thank you, but what’s the deal with the OP post? The, CYOA's are gone!” “Yeah, they're dead.” “But, but, I, I don’t like it so clean! It's not natural.” ========You Kaiju Bro?============== Ever wonder what kaiju use their hivemind communication link for? Personally, I think a lot of it is for pep talks. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Ultramare, dealer of justice and defender of the city, rounded a corner towards the beach >The site of frequent kaiju activity, the area had become a premier spot for her patrols >As her hooves sunk into the sand, she couldn't help but think about the strange connection she briefly made with Orchid. >The sharing of thoughts and information was an alien sensation at best. >Clearing her mind, the noble defender tried to focus. >If she could just tap into that kaiju's mind again, she could know what its plans were. >Such a powerful tool could make her an even greater defender. >She faltered a step as a small twinge of feeling shot through her. >Emotional, exhilarating, courageous, strength. >More than that, the feeling carried with it a rhythm. >Concepts. >Words. >Echoed by an entire group of voices and thought patterns. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo7CgWH8jX4 [Embed] >"City rampage, one two three-woo woo!" >"When I roar they see me, woo woo!" >"This world's just doomed, from me, and you, woo woo!" >"Your tiny days are through, woo woo!" >"I spill big blue on you, woo woo!" >"We'll fight until your city's black and blue..." >Another voice, familiar, of a certain chip-obsessed kaiju, called out into the suddenly silent web of thoughts with a surge of playful emotion, different than the more malicious thoughts. >"Woo woo!" >"...We are beastly kaiju, fighting harmony!" >"DUNK words are just for nerds cause it's rampage for me, and you, woo woo!" >An adrenaline surge coursed through Ultramare as the thought patterns howled approval and energy in stifling waves. >She tried to fight it, revolting against the raw emotion. >Like that, it was gone, fading away. >The link shut as abruptly as it came, leaving her nervously eyeing the ocean where it all seemed to be coming from. >She dug her hooves deeper into the sand expectantly, but no attack came. =====Marble Idle Hoof===== >Something heavy landed on her back. "Aack! Marble?" >"Mhm?" >The gigantic hoof rolled forward, putting more of its weight on the little pony. >Limestone grimaced even deeper, if that was possible. >She could feel the chalky dust of recently smashed rocks against her back. "Quit it! I got work to do!" >The only response was a simple, pleasant... >"Mhm." >Following it, the hoof, harder than the stones in the surrounding fields let up, lifting the pressure away. >It was just a little, but more than enough for her to start dragging herself towards freedom. >As soon as Limestone started to crawl out from underneath the oppressive wall, it started to move back down. >Eclipsing her with a shadow, she groaned with effort, doing her damnedest to crawl quicker. "Marble, are you listening?" >"Mhm." >It was becoming evident that she was not being let loose. >The hoof was only repositioning. >It came back down to a frustrated grunt of its play thing. >The hoof put extra pressure on her, forcing the pony into the soft inner sole. "Marble! Get off me!" >"Mm-mm." >Limestone could feel the weight shifting again, pressing her on one side, then the other, idly rolling her under the softer edge. "When I g-" >She was cut off with a cough as a bit of marble dust got into her face. >She sputtered as she rolled onto her back, managing to open her eyes. >She got one last look of the sole of the hoof coming down to completely cover her and she blanched, dusty flesh rubbing against her cheek as she turned her away as best she could. >Slowly the realization came to her that the best option might be tickle her way to freedom. >Normally that was more Pinkie's thing, but she had no real choice in the matter. >She wiggled her head as best she could, getting a hoof in for good measure. >The reaction was immediate. >A blushing squeak signaled a breath of fresh air as the shadow of the hoof suddenly retreated. "Finally! Marble, you are in so much trouble!" >Marble sighed with one last "Mhm." >The shadow loomed once more. >It was all Limestone could do but to give a frustrated sigh. >It was going to be a long day. >As if reading her thoughts, another brief "Mhm" came from above. =====Statue of Liberty Poni===== >Once upon a time, before the towering skyscrapers and buildings >Long ago in the turbulent days of ancient Equestria >A pony was made huge by something to be used as a weapon against invaders and the weekly monster menace >This pony was idolized as a hero as she fought against the worst that the world loves to throw at good little ponies >When all was said and done and harmony reigned across the Equestrian lands, she was more a burden than an asset >She was voluntarily sealed away, locked in stone like the heroes who dot the Canterlot royal gardens >Holding aloft torch and tablet, clothed in the dress and crown of spikes given her by the princesses ages ago, she stands perched on a monumental pedestal befitting one of such ancient honors >Dormant, she still watches over the populace, though she would not recognize it >Her old home no longer a tiny town but a bustling metropolis, majestic and mighty as she >She waits and waits through time, inscriptions of power coded across her tablet, magic torch dormant and waiting for the words >Her story became legend except to those who span life immortal >The grand guardian, Liberte >One of Equestria's many old super weapons disguised as ornamentation ----Addon by Ishtahal >Anon in Manehattan >Appreciating Liberty's architecture >She overhears >They share a conversation >She expresses desire to see her city from the eyes of its people >Anon gets Twiggle to scale down Liberty and address the city as to her absence >They share a day touring Manehattan, Liberty is ecstatic. >Her and Anon develop feelings because this is a cliche green >obviously dey fug >Ancient evil learns of her lapse of duty >Appears and starts wrecking shit >Royalty unable to stop it, they need Liberty >Twatlight is having trouble reversing the spell as usual >Anon and Liberty complete a quest to get some bullshit artifact >Learn that it was Anon's fear of losing Liberty preventing the reversal >He mans up after some teary lesson on sacrifice >Liberty resumes being fucking huge and kicks the Kaiju pack to Japone. >It wasn't killed, only scared away. >tfw Anon can't get that horse-statue pussy without Manehattan being destroyed. ===Big Whispers=== but a big whisper will still be pretty loud ------------------- >She read the signals aloud. "Too loud." >Impossible. "What. Too loud?" >The signals struck up again. "Oh come on, I'm just whispering." >If she squinted hard enough, she could see trash fluttering and billowing. >The streets acted as a wind tunnel, funneling her breath when she talked from close by. >The signals flashed again. "Too much. Please stop." >She leaned in just enough to see people trying to catch the debris. "Whoops." ======Equestrian Bureau of Investigations======= Now I want to make an FBI pony oc who constantly looks through /mlh/ and masturbates to lewds while hiding it from the bosses at the same time. ========= A dull glow from a computer screen washed over a little pony in a little suit. She liked formal wear, something that fit well with her job as part of the Equestrian Bureau of Investigation. The job itself was less than she had expected. She was stuck with her desk job, just combing the mysteries of the internet, the incredible haven of culture and… “Fresh porn drawings? Sweet.” Some other tiny horse had drawn particularly raunchy imagery of a particularly chiseled, strapping, bipedal creature in a formal suit pleasuring a mare with noticeably wider hips than she herself had. She overlooked the pang of jealousy to stare hungrily at the image. There was a distinct click. She froze. “Agent Honeydew, How’s the hunt for evidence going? Any leads?” She pulled her foreleg back just a little and curled the hoof so it was facing towards her inner thigh. Tilted just far enough away to stay in the shadow and hide the glistening moisture on it from view. Hopefully. “No, n-nothing yet, ma’am.” “That’s too bad. You know, I’m starting to wonder if we should be spending so much-” Think! Think! “Well, we can’t leave a single stone unturned. We’re the investigators. We’re thorough,” the tiny investigator said. Oh so very thorough. “Alright, well keep us posted.” “Yes ma’am!” She saluted. And felt a squish on the side of her mane. She looked at her superior who returned her look of horror with cool detachment. This was going to be it. Her short career of trying to be a marely mare and become a super cool secret agent was done for! “You should get some tissues when you blow your nose.” Honeydew blinked, not expecting such an easy out. “I’ll requisition some more today, ma’am.” “Good. Keep up the good work, you have the right attitude to really make something of yourself.” With that, the senior officer floated back out into the halls while Honeydew waved her out. “Thank you, ma’am!” “And now back to my ‘intelligence gathering’,” she chuckled. She sucked her tongue back inside lest she drool all over the interface. “Oh, anon, you’re such a delinquent.”