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// Disclosure (Part II)// Story: Winter's Child// by Softy8088//------------------------------//


	—Closed.—

Twilight contemplated the sign, its understatedly elegant yet eye-catching calligraphy genteelly barring entry to regular customers of Carousel Boutique. Of course, Twilight was not a customer; not on this visit, anyway. She was a friend, visiting a friend, and so the sign was not meant for her.

Plus, in her haste, she had already pushed the door open.

Still, the sign presented a small enigma. The current time was a weekday, still within standard business hours – if only just – and therefore Rarity’s shop should have been open for business. A spark of worry ignited inside her, various possibilities for the unexpected closure, none of them particularly pleasant, running quickly through the unicorn’s mind. Rarity was a savvy business owner, and unlikely to turn down customers for no reason.

Of more immediate relevance was the sign’s suggestion that Rarity was not in her shop at all, and Twilight’s carefully- though hastily-constructed four-phase plan to inform her of the events of the past two days, as well as the supporting details, might prove impossible to execute. 

Not that the plan would matter much if something had happened to Rarity.

Rapidly concluding that she would gain no further insights from dumbly standing in the half-open threshold, Twilight entered.

The shutting door hit the bell for the second time, re-announcing her presence.

Nopony arrived to greet her.

As the remnants of the chime faded away, she perceived a different, but no less familiar sound, muffled though it was by an interposing wall or two, just on the edge of her hearing, which then coalesced into intelligible syllables as she made her way further in.

“Oh, no,” Rarity intoned, as harshly as her ever-refined voice could manage. “This simply will not do... Oh, but I do have another option... yes, this shade will do nicely... but it requires something more... Hmm... Ah, magnifique!... Oh, but I mustn’t forget...”

Twilight exhaled. The unmistakable sound of Rarity working away on some new project was welcomed by her ears, imbuing a sense of order in her soul. All was right with the world. Even the butterflies in her stomach had been convinced to flutter somewhat less violently in anticipation of the upcoming conversation.

Arriving at the private workshop behind the main storefront, Twilight found the other unicorn surrounded by reams of fabrics, ribbons, and all manner of fashion accessories, as well as no less than eight pony-shaped dress forms in various states of attire, ranging from buck-naked to gala-ready. The fashionista’s current focus lay on a small podium, where a large swath of oddly-shimmering pale blue fabric was draped over yet another equine shape, covering it completely and giving it a near-ghostly appearance, while Rarity stared intently at two emerald-hued bows, alternately placing each in front of the phantasmal figure, as if trying to decide which one matched better with the sparkling blue.

Twilight could see no difference between them whatsoever.

She politely cleared her throat, taking the opportunity to once again breathe her butterflies into submission.

The action went without response. She tried again, louder.

Rarity released something between a groan and a sigh, and forced a measure of professional cheer into her voice. “I’m sorry, we’re closed for today. If you have a special request there is–” A gasp, as she finally noted the identity of her visitor. “Twilight!” At once she made for the other unicorn, abandoning her task to the floor and wrapping the mare in a joyous hug. “You’re back! And you look...” Her eyes quickly scanned Twilight’s form, briefly lingering at the stomach. “Well, you look wonderful. Did you do something with your mane? It’s looking particularly radiant. And do I detect a hint of...” She gave a dainty sniff. “...lilac and... clouds. I must say, it’s very becoming.  And you’re still...?”

At this, her smile gained an uncertain edge, though it did not fade away. The mare was seemingly unwilling to work based on any further assumptions about Twilight’s condition – likely taking a lesson from the previous day’s disastrous teatime – and was clearly waiting for her friend to say something.

‘Okay,’ Twilight told herself, ‘Phase One: Assure Rarity that everything is fine.’

“Yeah, I just got back from Canterlot. I had a meeting with Princess Celestia, and a medical check-up, and it turns out the baby and I are both fine and healthy, and I figured out what I’m going to do.”

The white unicorn beamed. “Oh, that’s terrific news! Though I do so wish you would have allowed me to accompany you. You have no idea how difficult it’s been; being forced to stay here running myself positively ragged with worry!”

“Oh,” Twilight said.

‘Not again,’ Twilight thought. 

One of her forelegs rubbed guiltily against the other. “I... I didn’t mean to upset you. It was all just such a big surprise to me...”

“Oh, think nothing of it!” Rarity assured, pressing her smiling cheek to her friend’s. “Believe me, if it had been me who suddenly found herself in your... situation... I would hardly have been any more composed. The important thing is that you’re healthy and happy. And keeping the Boutique closed has allowed me extra time to work on my designs.”

Twilight pulled away. “Wait. You... kept your shop closed because you were worried about me?”

“Well, yes!” Rarity stated, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “I had to be ready to leave and assist you at a moment’s notice. Plus, I couldn’t conduct business with the public in my present state.”

One of Twilight’s brows lowered in confusion. “Your... state?”

“I simply couldn’t bear to have anypony see me like this. Oh, I’m certain I must look an absolute wreck right now!” 

Twilight’s other brow rose as she examined Rarity’s perfectly-applied makeup, radiant coat, eager expression, and flawless coiffure.  “Uh, you look fine.”

“Oh, that is sweet of you to say, darling, but you needn’t humour me. We both know the stress has made me utterly unpresentable.” The unicorn pressed a hoof to her forehead and sighed dramatically, simultaneously turning to conceal half her face in apparent shame.

Twilight tensed, on the lookout for an approaching fainting couch, though, thankfully, none appeared.

She opted to move past the topic as quickly as possible. ‘Phase Two: Inform Rarity of my decision.’

“Anyway, I’ve come to a conclusion,” Twilight stated confidently and matter-of-factly, “and I thought you should be one of the first to know: I’ve decided to keep the foal and raise her myself.” 

Instantly, Rarity’s eyes began to shimmer, matched with an overpowering smile that could put most of Pinkie’s to shame. Her hoof shot to her cheek. “Oh, Twilight, that is absolutely fantastic! I do believe congratulations are in order!” The last few syllables positively danced out of her throat.

The mirth she exuded was certainly contagious. “Thanks,” Twilight replied, feeling the corners of her mouth pull back. “It’s going to be a big responsibility, but I think I’m up for it.” She unconsciously touched her belly.

“I’m positive that you are,” the other mare agreed, lifting her chin proudly. “And as your good friend, allow me to assure you that I will assist you in any way I can. You can count on me, Twilight.”

The purple pony’s world wobbled uncertainly as happy liquid pooled in her eyes. Her lids fluttered, clearing away the moisture, reminding her to stay focussed on her task. As heartwarming as Rarity’s support was, its survival was uncertain in the face of the upcoming confession.

This could still end badly.

‘Phase Three: Gauge Rarity’s reaction to taboo relationships.’

“Now then, about that store I was telling you about yesterday,” the white pony started, heedless of her guest’s attempt to speak. “If you are looking for foal care supplies, it is the place to shop. They stock these absolutely adorable little onesies – I should show you pictures of Sweetie wearing hers; she looks an absolute darling! It’s practically high fashion for newborns. It almost makes me want to try my own hoof at designing clothing for foals, if only I wouldn’t have to face such stiff competition–”

“Uh, Rarity...?” the purple mare interjected, trying to be as diplomatic as possible.

“Hmm? Oh, yes! Just listen to me going off about shopping and clothes! What is on your mind, dear?”

“So, uhh...” Twilight’s hoof dug at something in the southern region of her mane. While she had devised a general sort of outline of where to take her speech, she hadn’t had time to give thought to the precise wording she would use. Now, forced to come up with it on the spot, she quickly found the task much more daunting than initial estimates had suggested.

Rarity continued to stand there, eyes and ears expectantly fixed on her guest.

“I was... uh... sorta thinking that maybe... I should let you know how this all happened.” Twilight’s foreleg drew a circle in a meaningless gesture. “If that’s something you want to hear about, of course.”

“Oh, most definitely!” the other unicorn assured. Once more she pulled her friend into a halfways-hug. “Please Twilight. I’m your friend. You can tell me anything.”

That was all the push Twilight needed.

“See... the thing is... I’m in a kind of weird, long-distance relationship with this... stallion.... that I’ve known for a really long time... and this relationship – sexual relationship, not really a romance per se, but sort of... it’s complicated – it’s been going on for a really long time... and it’s not really a socially acceptable kind of relationship...”

“He’s married!” Rarity spoke suddenly, with what was a practically gleeful shout. “Isn’t he?”

“No!” Twilight answered. “I mean... yes! He’s married. But that’s not the issue. His wife knows about everything and she’s completely fine with it. In fact, she finds the whole thing kind of arousing.”

“Oooooh!” Rarity trilled. “Are we talking about a polyamorous arrangement, then?” The question brimmed to overflowing with a schoolfilly’s enthusiasm at being let in on delicious, forbidden, big-pony secrets.

Twilight breathed a tiny sigh of relief. This sort of reaction was encouraging to say the least, and she was finding it easier to proceed. “Yeah, I guess it is,” she said, self-confidence rising. If Rarity was going to greet scandalous news with such enthusiasm, this would turn out to be a piece of cake.

Playing into her expected role, the other mare lowered her head conspiratorially, her irises half-hidden. “And would this happen to be the ‘mystery stallion’ from Canterlot that you once let on to during that... enlightening soiree we had a while back?”

“If you’re talking about the time you and the girls got me falling-over drunk with hard cider–” Twilight’s brows knit together momentarily. “–and somehow we got to talking about when I lost my virginity, then... yes, it’s the same pony. Like I said: We’ve been involved for a very long time.”

Rarity’s legs twitched, as if just barely holding back the urge to start skipping rapidly in place. “Oh, now you simply must tell me who this forbidden paramour of yours is! What does he look like? Have I met him?”

“You promise to keep it a secret?”

“I shan’t tell anypony!” The white mare declared with stars in her eyes and drama in her voice.

“Okay... what if I told you...” Twilight began, “and, just as an example, speaking purely hypothetically...”

Rarity bobbed her head furiously.

“What if I told you... that the pony I’ve been talking about...” Twilight swallowed hard, while her hoof desperately searched for any part of her body in need of a scratch. “...is... and again, just as an example... what if he is... uh...” She squinted hard. “...my father?”

“What?!”

“It’s just a hypothetical!” Twilight yelled, as Rarity’s eyes had widened to saucers and her lips inverted at once into a look of unmitigated horror.

The white pony sputtered for a few seconds, accompanied by odd contortions of her face. “Y– you– your father?!”

The sensation Twilight was experiencing could roughly be described as that odd moment, sometimes seen in the kinds of animated films she had watched in her childhood, when a character unknowingly runs off the edge of a sheer cliff, and continues to run on thin air, for a blissful few seconds unaware that gravity has failed to notice her. When she does, it does, though she may be able to stave off the inevitable for a few seconds more by maintaining the pretense and continuing on as if nothing were wrong.

It is that precise moment Twilight now found herself in. She had just ran off the precipice. She wasn’t a pegasus. She wasn’t even Pinkie Pie. She had no defense against the wrath of the Earth’s gravitational force but her own temporary, fleeting, and willful ignorance of it.

There was nothing to do but to keep running.

“Yes,” she said, the syllables already beginning to quake as she produced them, “what would you say if I told you that the pony I’ve been romantically and sexually involved with, and who is the father of my child, is my own father?”

With each word, Rarity’s mouth opened wider and wider, her pupils shrunken to pinpricks and lost in the vast seas that were the whites of her eyes. After a while of blank terror, she began to issue a few incomprehensible sounds, before at last gaining the ability to marshal them into words. “Tha– that’s awful! Twilight, that... isn’t normal.”

“I– I know. It’s incest, and it’s a huge social taboo,” Twilight confirmed, as her vision tunnelled to see nothing but the sickened, terrified expression on Rarity’s face. “But I love him, and I was the one who initiated it, and I knew all the risks, and we’ve been doing this for so many years. I know it’s not normal, but that doesn’t matter to us. It’s what we both want.”

“Twilight...” Rarity was the one to swallow a hard lump this time. “Twilight... that... that is digusting!”

Gravity won. Twilight fell, her attempt to cheat it having only been good for the briefest of respites.

It was a long way down.

That was all metaphorical, of course. In reality, her hooves were still firmly on the ground – though maintaining balance had become strangely difficult even with four solid points of contact. Some irrelevant voice in the back of her mind admonished her that this conversation should have been taking place in a seated position at Rarity’s table with cups of tea in front of them, not just standing awkwardly in the middle of her workroom. Twilight’s entire body trembled in what she knew had to be fear – and she had good reason to be afraid.

In Rarity’s countenance she could see the worst-case scenario come to life:

Rarity was clearly disgusted. She also seemed angry. And hurt. And more negative emotions besides. And all of it was directed straight at Twilight. There was not a hint of sympathy or understanding, to say nothing of genuine acceptance or happiness. The consequence seemed inevitable: Twilight was about to lose one of her best friends – if it hadn’t happened already.

“What’s– um–” Twilight choked on every arduously-formed syllable. “Why is it so disgusting? I’m... We– we’re not hurting anypony...”

“Twilight!” Rarity all-but-shouted, “You don’t know what you’re saying! That sort of thing is abuse!”

“It’s not abuse!” Twilight countered, immediately latching onto a point of reason she could argue. “I’m a mature, educated, independent pony, capable of giving informed consent to sexual relations with anypony I choose! Including members of my own family.”

It did not seem possible for Rarity to turn any more aghast – until she did just that. Her gasp nearly devoided the room of oxygen. “Twilight, you can’t possibly believe– I mean, I don’t know what he’s told you over the years, but it isn’t something that parents–” Another gasp, followed by vicious panting, as Rarity looked to be on the verge of fainting for real, availability of a couch notwithstanding. “Oh good heavens, you said his wife knows and... and... that means both of them...” 

“Hypothetical!” Twilight tried desperately, not entirely sure which pony she was trying to keep from passing out. “It’s just a hypothetical question! I wanted to know what you would think if... if it were somepony like my father.”

“I think that is sick!” Rarity instantly traded in a good portion of her panic for what appeared to be rage.

“But... a minute ago you were excited when I told you it was a taboo relationship!”

“I thought it might have been one of your professors from Celestia’s School or somepony like that but... your family? Twilight, incest is wrong!”

“Why is it wrong!?” the other unicorn demanded, as a well of her own indignation suddenly sprang out of nowhere.  “There is nothing wrong with consenting ponies having sex with each other, no matter who they are!”

“You can’t just consent to something like that!  When it’s your family, there’s– there’s power issues and emotional bonds that can be exploited... and for a father to take his own daughter... that’s– that’s criminal! He ought to be in prison!”

Of all the emotions Twilight had thought she might feel, she had not expected anger. Yet, anger at Rarity is what ran freely through her veins when she stomped her hoof and shouted, “Consensual incest is not illegal!”

“Well, it should be!”

The pregnant mare recoiled a step. She attempted to speak again, but nothing came; her outrage having flamed out as quickly as a firework. All that remained was a hollow sadness, a dripping of tears onto the floor at her hooves, and a merciful numbness that prevented her from fully appreciating what they meant.

On an analytical front, Phase Three had been completed, and Phase Four had been rendered immaterial. Twilight had her answer. In her hypothetical query, she had narrowly avoided speaking the exact truth – the last-second substitution of one member of her immediate family for another being a somewhat bizarre choice even to her – but that was a mere formality now. The heart of the matter had been laid bare. Rarity had made her views on incest known, and they did not bear what Twilight had done.

They did not bear who Twilight was.

“I’m, uh...” the unicorn spoke feebly as she turned away, “I’m going to go home. To... rest. Um, thanks... thanks for talking to me.” She sniffed and wiped a foreleg at her muzzle. “Goodbye, Rarity.”

“Twilight, wait!”

Her head swivelled back. In the brief interim, Rarity’s expression had turned to looking more pained than mad.

“I– I’m sorry I shouted. What you said... it just took me by surprise. I believe I may have overreacted slightly,” the white pony admitted, pressing a hoof to her cheek, where a tint of soft pink was taking residence. Her eyes flitted every which way as she struggled for words. “I– I don’t mean to be insulting to you, Twilight, but you simply can’t expect me to see that sort of relationship as healthy.”

“I don’t,” the purple mare replied, wiping her face with her other, dry forelimb. “I understand you might not like it. I just hoped that...” She flinched as a fresh tissue, wrapped in a pale-blue aura, appeared beside her. She quickly made use of it to clear her overflowing sinuses. “I just hoped... that we could still be friends.”

“Wha–? Twilight! Darling, of course we’re friends!” Shock – though a more subdued variant than what had just passed – painted Rarity’s face. “I wouldn’t be acting this way if you were just some random pony I cared nothing about. I’m worried about you, because we’re friends. I want to help you.”

Hope sparked within the pregnant pony, as she realised that, perhaps, the situation was not as bleak as it had first seemed. She faced her self-declared friend once more. “Thank you. That means a lot to me, but... I don’t need help.” She swallowed, and infused her countenance with what remained of her strength. “This isn’t something that needs fixing. Rarity, I understand you’re uncomfortable, but please, please, don’t try to do anything about this. This is my choice. The only thing I want... the only thing I need from you, as a friend... is to respect that it’s mine to make.”

She couldn’t tell if her projected confidence was having the intended effect. Rarity’s expression wavered between overpowering vexation and terse instants of what could almost be regarded as empathy – if Twilight wasn’t, in her desperation, simply imagining it.

“Twilight... forgive me, this... this is a lot to take in all at once.” The unicorn breathed labouredly, as if balancing a great weight on her back. Her vision searched the ceiling – perhaps hoping for some divine guidance. “I may need some time to think this through, but... I suppose... I can come to terms with it. Just... give me a few minutes, if you would.”

Twilight nodded slowly. “It’s not my father.”

“OhThankCelestia!” At once, the invisible boulder dropped from Rarity’s back, whereupon she panted in palpable relief.

“It’s my brother.”

Tom was back. “Oh.” Rarity’s eyes explored the floor this time. “Well. I... suppose... that’s not quite as bad. You are much closer in age. It’s not as if he was responsible for raising you. The potential is still there, but you are essentially peers... W– we’re no longer speaking hypothetically, are we?”

“No,” Twilight answered, once more stroking her belly. “This is Shining Armor’s foal,” she finally confessed, carefully examining the rounded shape. Not that she truly felt a need to; the action served more to give both friends a respite from looking at each other’s none-too-happy expressions.

“I can’t say I approve of this,” Rarity calmly stated after some half-minute’s pause. “In fact, I’m quite certain I disapprove.” Their eyes reconnected. “But you are most definitely still my friend, Twilight. I have pledged my support to helping you with your daughter, and I assure you that you have it.”

Success. Of a sort, anyway. Phase Four was complete, and Twilight still had her friend. “Thank you,” her small voice replied, joined by en equally-timid smile.

The unicorn’s joy was tempered by an embarrassed self-consciousness, as she ascertained that she had no idea where to go from here; her plan was finished, and an unwelcome silence was all that remained. Somehow, asking Rarity about their friends or the economy or what books she had read recently – the typical friendly small talk they often shared – seemed too offensively trite to indulge now. The other pony was exhibiting an equal amount of discomfort, her own try at returning Twilight’s smile not quite getting there, and Twilight was about to issue forth a simple goodbye to leave Rarity to contemplate the smouldering remnants of the dropped bombshell in peace – but then the white mare unexpectedly closed the distance and hugged her, killing off the silence without uttering a single word.

Twilight hugged back, as confused by the gesture as she was grateful for it. Rarity’s signals were certainly mixed, though the pregnant unicorn elected to focus on the positive. “Thank you,” she repeated.

“Well, you seemed to need it,” the other mare answered, still audibly addled with a hodgepodge of emotion beneath affected nonchalance.

“It means a lot to me. Really.” Gently, they broke apart. “I was so worried about how you’d react. I’m glad I was finally able to tell somepony.” Twilight sighed. “At this point, I don’t know if can work up the courage to tell our other friends. I was hoping I could, but now... I just don’t know. Can I even hope for them to be accepting of this whole crazy taboo relationship I’m in?”

“Hay, yeah! I dunno about the rest of the gang, but I’m totally cool with it, Twi!”

“Gwaaah!” The poor purple mare all but jumped out of her skin at the sound of the brash and all-too-familiar voice, which she quickly ascertained as having originated from a few hoofsteps behind Rarity.

With a rapid flurry of motions, the pony shape standing on the podium fought her way out of her shimmering blue cover and tossed it casually aside, leaving a coyly smiling, cyan-coated pegasus with an abundantly chromatic mane looking back at the other two mares.

“Oh dear,” Rarity muttered, covering her mouth and looking intently at the floor.

“R– R– R– Rainbow Dash?!”

“The one and only!” Rainbow replied, puffing her chest and dusting herself off, ignoring the obvious lack of any dirt.

“What is she doing here?!” Twilight demanded of the boutique’s owner, her vocal cords straining beneath the frequency.

Rarity’s blush returned with force. Her answer was preempted by Dash herself.

“I offered to help Rarity with her dressmaking,” the pegasus declared simply.

“You... volunteered? For dressmaking?” 

“Sure. She was looking pretty down, and I figured I could cheer her up. That’s what being a good, loyal friend is all about.”

“She lost a wager,” Rarity quietly amended, still avoiding eye contact with either pony.

“Plus I lost a wager,” Rainbow conceded with a tinge of irritation, though her smile only faltered for a fraction of a second. “But mostly, it was the loyal friend thing.”

“And... you’ve been here the whole time? And you didn’t say anything?!” Twilight shouted at Rarity with a gaze of pure fury reinforced by mortification.

That would make it the second appearance of that particular combo that day.

The other unicorn still refused to meet either pony’s eyes. “Twilight, I’m dreadfully sorry, I truly am. I didn’t mean to mislead you. The truth is... I all but forgot that Rainbow was even here.”

“Pfft. Thanks, Rare. Not like that’s offensive or anything.”

“You kept falling asleep!” Rarity shot back, her voice having gained a few decibels.

The pegasus merely rolled her eyes in reply.

“I kept waking her,” the unicorn explained, pointing an accusatory hoof, “but she would just complain about how bored she was and doze off again after a minute or two. Eventually I stopped trying and just resigned to using her as a simple dress form. I got so focussed on my colour choices, and then when you came in and we started talking... it completely slipped my mind that she was here. I– I’m sorry.”

Twilight’s thundering heart slowed down as she connected the dots of hope. “Wait... you were asleep?”

“Yeah, until you two woke me up with your arguing about some relationship junk.”

The purple mare shied her head back an inch, face scrunching in uncertainty. “H– how... how much of what we were saying did you hear?”

Rainbow shrugged. “Well, I only woke up a couple of minutes ago, I was trying to get back to napping, so I didn’t really catch much.”

Twilight exhaled in relief.

A wicked grin slowly appropriated the pegasus’ face. “Just the part where you got yourself knocked up by your own brother! Bwahahahahahahaha!”

Twilight’s jaw dropped as she watched the pegasus collapse onto her back in an uncontrolled fit of laughter, her hooves kicking and waving as if in an upside-down air-gallop. When it appeared that she might be finished, her lungs simply captured another helping of air and then continued on with just as much volume as before.

“Rainbow Dash!” Rarity yelled. “This is not a laughing matter! This is quite serious!”

“Oh, but it totally is!” Rainbow argued, her wild peals gradually coming into rein, eventually permitting the cyan pony to roll onto her side and into a quasi-dignified posture. “Hey, Rarity, remember– remember the one time Twilight came back from Canterlot with that I-totally-just-got-some look all over her face, and I guessed she’d been bonking her brother, and then you were all, ‘Really now, Rainbow Dash, how can you even suggest such a thing?!’” Here, the pegasus parodied the fashionista’s posh accent and signature hair flip. “‘Twilight would never engage in such behaviour, and neither would Prince Shining Armor. You’re being positively absurd!’ Well, I bet there’s one pony in this room feeling pretty ‘absurd’ right now, and it sure isn’t me!” She went back to laughing, punctuating her fit with an occasional loose flap of a wing.

The white pony, meanwhile, had turned a vibrant red in the cheeks, and the sounds of her teeth scraping were just audible over the other’s noise. The effect was completed by an angry burst of steam shooting from her nostrils as she valiantly struggled to maintain control.

The stone-still Twilight’s gaping mouth had nearly dried out – though she largely failed to notice it, as her brain struggled in vain to formulate some kind of response to all it was being asked to deal with.

“Hey, Twilight,” Dash suddenly addressed her, with impish curiosity beneath her continued chortles. “Did you and your bro ever have a threesome with Cadance? She always seemed the type up for that kind of thing,” she teased with half-lidded eyes.

The unicorn spun her burning face aside, trying to look anywhere but at another pony and furiously worked to think of something to say that would make all this stop.

But there are no time-outs in real life, and the winged mare immediately recognised what the absence of response signified. All her teeth bared in a face-rending grin, the orbs of her eyes on full display. “Oh. My. Gosh. You did!” She flipped once more onto her back, her body rocked by cacophonic convulsions of guffaws that would be enough to have any observing pony question the pegasus’ psychological well-being.

“Rainbow Dash!” Rarity yelled once again, to little effect, and shot Twilight, as well as the room, a look of guilty helplessness. “Augh!” she declared with an uncharacteristic lack of refinement.

Both unicorns could only watch as their friend took her sweet – and, apparently, very hilarious – time getting back to her hooves. “I– I don’t believe it,” she said as her giggles finally faded away into an intense but mercifully silent grin. “I should’ve seen it coming. It’s like the oldest story in the book: The, quiet, nerdy, stuck-up librarian is secretly a total freak in bed!”

“Hey! I am not nerdy... or stuck up!” Twilight railed. A pause. “And I am not a freak!”

“Whoah, whoah, whoah!” At long last, Rainbow’s smile vanished completely. A couple of wingbeats brought her quickly to Twilight’s side, where she hooked a surprisingly tender forelimb around the unicorn’s neck. “Calm down, Twilight. I didn’t mean it like that. Don’t start up with the waterworks on me.”

Rarity made herself useful by bringing over another tissue to dry Twilight’s eyes, which the purple mare only now noticed were threatening to rain down again.

“I was just kidding – well, sorta. You are a freak, but the good kind. I admire a pony who isn’t afraid to buck the establishment and knock horseshoes on her own terms.”

Twilight didn’t quite understand. Hadn’t Rainbow Dash just spent a good five minutes laughing at her? “Wait, so... you’re okay with this?”

“Pshhh. Of course I’m okay with it. Why wouldn’t I be? I mean, your brother is a total hunk.” Rainbow’s teeth glinted and her eyebrows twitched suggestively. “I get why you’d want to get yourself a piece of that action. And if Cadance is in on it, that just makes it so much better. Plus, incest is hot.”

Twilight stared with bemusement. “You’re an only child, aren’t you?” she asked flatly.

“Yeah. What does that have to do with anything? Anyway, I have no problem with one of my best friends getting all kinds of freaky in bed with anypony she wants. Or ponies. If you ask me, you just jumped up a notch on the awesomeness scale. Now if somepony was getting hurt, it’d be a different story, but what I’m hearing is everypony was having a good time. Am I right?”

“Uh... right.”

“Right! So don’t let anypony–” Rainbow gave Rarity a brief glare. “–tell you who you can and can’t fool around with. And if anypony ever tries to give you any guff about it, or says anything bad about your kid–” Twilight felt a cyan hoof poke her swollen flank. “–they’ll have me to deal with.” Here, the pegasus turned her head heroically skyward and spread her wings.

“Wow.” The unicorn smiled broadly, all at once feeling lighter on her hooves. In her analysis of whom to tell, Rainbow Dash had been a wild card, and probably would’ve been the last on her list of confessors. This kind of staunch alliance was far better than anything Twilight would have hoped for. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it. Hey, speaking of your kid...” Twilight frowned as Dash made repeated, additional, fascinated, and decidedly unwelcome pokes to her belly. “...since you and Shining Armor are so closely related, is it going to be, like, born with two horns or something?”

“What?! No!”

“’Cause I was just thinking: In comic books, if a pony’s a mutant, they usually get cool powers.” Rainbow scratched her chin thoughtfully. “Like, maybe she could use dark magic or get psychic powers or have the ability to be in two places at once or something.”

Had a clear desk been available, Twilight would have smacked her head against it. For an instant, calculations of the amount of magical energy required to teleport her own bureau from the library to obtain the proper effect danced in her head, but ultimately she settled for a deep groan. There were so many things wrong with what Rainbow Dash had just said, picking which one to correct first was challenging.

“Okay, first of all, genetic mutations have nothing to do with inbreeding. Incest only raises homozygosity, which is the number of alleles which are exact duplicates across corresponding diploid chromosomes, and therefore increases the probability of expression of deleterious recessive genetic traits. Mutation, on the other hoof, is a direct change in genetic code, usually due to errors in gene replication, or nucleotide damage from external factors like viruses, chemicals, or radiation, and normally results in faulty or inhibited genetic expression.”

Rainbow blinked. “So... is your kid gonna have superpowers or not?”

“Augh!” 