Attempted automated wordcount. Please use LibreOffice/MSOffice for an accurate count: 2258

thanks, author! If you wish to have this removed from this list, email ra.llan.pcl+complaints @ gmail.com, making sure to provide proof that you are the author.

Wild Berry Punch

By Mimic Kairatta

“So I was-walkin... just walkin down the streeet like a colt down the street. Maybe something more filly-like. Only... ” The light plum colored mare takes a sip of her glass of wine. “I'm a mare!” She laughs heartily, tipping to the side for a moment before righting herself up. “Ha ha! Mare....”

“Uh..... right, of course.” The lavender pony librarian answers hesitatingly.

“After, (hic), after buying a bottle of my....” Takes a sip of her glass of wine. “Mmm~ delicious tasting drink, I go to a nearby table and chug the bottle down! Of course, I couldn't just drink the whole thing down, that would be un-lady like. Heh... mare... So I poured a bit of what is rest into my little wine glass here.” She swirls around the glass in her hoof.

“Uh huh.“

“I gone to talk with that stud across the street. His red fur, flowing mane and sturdy (hic) sturdy flank just askin for a good ridding! So, I go up ta him, (hic) see, and then I tell him 'Hey there big guy!'” She swings the air in front of her. “Wham! I smacked his flank like a fruit basket! You shudda seen the look on his face (hic), his face (hic) his entire body was red! It was then I realized that I didn’t hit him.... but a pile of apples!” She laughs, stomping the ground in mirthful glee. “Imma... imma gonna say that was one of my best stories. Shame that studly stallion walked away when I was laughing.”  She giggles.

Twilight Sparkle can't help but sigh. Only 15 minutes ago, she is in the middle of reading up on the theory of magic and inanimate objects. A very interesting tome concerning the idea that when you take certain inanimate objects and add the right kind of magic to them, it actually changes the object's original design and form into something different. It varies depending on the type of magic, the amount pushed into it as well as the interweaving of possible runes and incantations.

While she can hang out with her friends, she decides to take the time today to experiment. Rarity is too busy filling out orders, Rainbow Dash is nowhere to be found (She had no intention of going into her hot air balloon to go searching for the flyer), AppleJack is too busy working the farm today, Fluttershy is taking care of an animal emergency concerning a rabbit and a snake, and Pinkie is.... well, being Pinkie. She thinks about testing this new spell on a nearby broom when she receives a visitor. Instead of one of her friends, it is actually someone else. It's not often the ponies of Ponyville visit the library, Twilight can't fathom why they won't seek out knowledge which is just a trot, skip and gallop away. Perhaps they’re too busy with their daily lives or maybe are unaware of the potential the library has under it's roof.

At first, she goes to happily greet the newcomer. She is happy at the prospect of helping someone search for knowledge. It's only after she takes a good look she realizes that something is amiss. The way the pony wobbles through the door, her glazed eyes, the glass of what appears to be a juicy substance in her hoof. Twilight starts to realize something is very wrong. Wrong in the sense that she should walk away to prevent a headache. Instead, she asks if the mare is alright. She instantly regrets asking as the drunken mare, who introduces herself as Berry Punch, goes on a tale of how she got here.

Twilight realizes she is spacing out on these thoughts while Berry is speaking to her. The unicorn focuses her attention back to the mare. “I'm sorry, but is there anything I could help you with?”

Berry pauses for a moment, staring at Twilight as if to process what she said. “Uh...”

“You... did come here to get a book, right?” She asks, raising her brow.

Berry takes a sip of her drink. “Hmm~...” She taps her head in thought. “... ahhh.... yeah! I came for a book!” She exclaims in excitement, thrusting her hoof in the air, spilling a bit of wine on the ground.

Twilight sighs, knowing wine stains are hard to get out. She will have to have Spike clean it up when he gets back from his errand to retrieve a package from Fluttershy.

“So,” she focuses back to Berry. “What kind of book would you like?”

“Dooo~....” She slurs the word out for a moment. “... you have one about grapes?”

Twilight blinks. “Grapes?”

“Yup!” She gives the magical pony the goofiest grin Twilight ever seen. Grapes? Why on earth would she want a book about grapes? She figures Berry might need it to make a drink or to find new ways to use grapes in different recipes.

“Of course, um.... ” She searches the shelves, trying to remember where there is a book on grapes or something related to grapes. “I think there is a book with grapes...” She uses her magic to levitate books out of their shelves and brings them closer to see if they are the books she's looking for. As she does, she can feel something warm very close to her body. Taking a look to her left, she finds Berry standing  close to her. Really uncomfortably close.

She smiles and gazes into Twilight’s face with her eyelids half open. “Hello.”

“Uh, do you mind? You're kinda standing in my personal space.” From this distance, she can smell the strong fruity scent of wine on the mare's breath.

“No I'mma not...”

“Yes, you are.”

“No...” Berry leans in and drapes her foreleg over Twilight's shoulders, who yelps at the sudden contact. “Now I am!” She breaks down in laughter at her clever joke. Twilight, however, finds it more uncomfortable than funny. Is this pony always like this?

“Now... if you really want an invasion of (hic) of privacy....”

What happens next nearly sends Twilight into shock. She feels Berry get dangerously close, then something long and wet drags across the side of her face. This causes her to immediately slip out of the drunken mare's limp grip.

Berry drops to the ground with a thud. Twilight glares at the pony on the ground with her face burning with embarrassment. She is determined to take charge of the situation before it gets worse.

“Now see here!” Twilight exclaims. “You can't just go up to a pony and just-” She shivers. “Lick them across the face! Now I know you might be intoxicated from the grape-flavored liquid substance but that doesn't excuse you to-” Her words muffle when something shoves itself into her mouth.

She quickly realizes that Berry is holding a bottle of wine into her mouth, the contents pour out. “You girl, are too high strung. (hic) A little of this should help with that.”A few mouthfuls find their way down her throat before Twilight pushes the earth pony away, hacking and coughing afterward. Once she gets her bearings, she glares angry at the pony in question.

“What did you do that for?!” She can't believe Berry forced her to consume a drink in such a manner. “Why did you shove an entire bottle of wine into my mouth?!”

Berry reels back with a face of absolute horror. She stammers and tries to reply, but Twilight cuts her off. She's not going to take this laying down.

“First you come in here in a drunken stupor, then you waste my time by telling me how you got here for 15 minutes when I could have finished my work, then when I try to get a book for you, you get really close to me and lick me in the face!”

“But-bu-but.. I-”

“Then you shove an alcoholic beverage into my mouth and make me drink it.” Her voice raises pitch as she says this. “I'm not even of legal drinking age yet! At least not the last time I checked. You know how much trouble I'd be if someone found out about it?” She starts panicking at the thought. What would they think of her? What would they do? What would Celestia think of her?

Berry continues to stammer and whimper until finally she breaks down, letting out a wail of sadness. She puts her face into her hoofs and starts sobbing, tears pouring out of her eyes.

“I'm soooo so-(hic)sorry! I didn't mean to(hic) to....!”

This scene causes Twilight's rage and anger to wane away, replacing it with a panging guilt. Way to go Twilight, she thinks to herself. Now you made a grown mare cry. She trots over to the emotional pony, placing a hoof on her shoulder. “Hey now, I'm sorry I yelled like that. It's... not your fault.”

“Yes it iiiiis!” The sad mare suddenly wraps her arms around Twilight, continuing to bawl on her shoulder.

“Well, yes... but listen.” She pats her on the back. “I know you mean well, but I'm not the kind of mare that is very outgoing as you are. I'm not used to things like.... well, like what you did before.” She shivers at the thought of that tongue on her face. “ Can I trust you to behave yourself now?”

Berry sniffles. “Yes....(hic)”

“Good,” she lets go of the mare and gives her a nearby handkerchief. Berry takes it and blows into it, making a blaring horn sound. She gives the wet rag back to Twilight, who grimaces and tosses it into the trash. Berry visibly calms down, much to the unicorn’s relief. She is never good with sensitive social situations like this.

“I didn't mean to do-(hic) do that to you. I was just trying to help. Is-(hic) is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”

Twilight shakes her head, “Now there'sh no need to do that, I'm jusht happy that you under... shand.” She blinks. Did she just slur a few of her words? Wait, what is she talking about?

“Oh that'sh great!” The plum pony's mood jumps back up. She hugs Twilight in a tight grip. “Thanks for forgiving me, how about a toast?” She pulls out a bottle and a couple of glasses from her mane,  giving one to Twilight.

Twilight looks down into the glass, feeling uneasy. Yet for some reason, she can’t exactly remember why. “I dunno...”

“To friends!” Berry happily lifts her glass in the air. Unsure of what else to do, Twilight lifts her drink up as well, tapping it against the glass Berry is holding.

“Um, to friends! Heh heh....” She drinks some of the wine. The liquid falls into her mouth and tickles her tongue. “Hm, not bad... The taste is kinda strong, yet has a sweet aftertaste.” The nagging feeling in the back of her head dulls out. She chuckles, maybe drinking isn't as bad as she thought. After all, what's the worst that could happen? She asks Berry for another glass to which she is happy to oblige.

_ _ _ - -

“Twilight! I'm back!” The door opens to reveal a purple baby dragon with a package in hand. His visit with Fluttershy has gone pretty well. She asks the purple dragon for a little help around the garden before he left. Not one to turn down a job from a friend, he helps Fluttershy out with the garden. Apparently, some bugs were trying to eat her favorite flowers and thanks to his impressive flame work, he made short work of those pesky bugs. For his reward, the package and a plate of gems, specifically ruby. A very rich flavor, something similar to cherries.

As he muses around these thoughts, he trips over a book on the floor. He falls forward and nearly crushes the package. Luckily, he pushes it away as he fell. It lands in front of him.

“Urg, Twilight! You should really should pick up those books you leave on the floor they.... could...” His words slow to a crawl as he scans the surrounding area. This place looks like it got hit by a sonic rainboom, a storm, then exploded twice at the same time! There were books on the floor, books on the walls, books on the tables, books on the ceiling, even books in books. There are papers and other light objects sprawled all over the ground.

“What in Celestia's name happened here?” He hears giggling upstairs. “Huh?” He quickly makes his way up the steps to figure out what is happening. “Twilight, is that you?” When he gets to the top, nothing could have prepared him for what he is seeing.

Standing on the bed is Twilight, wearing a robe with many books sewn and/or glued into it as well as a scroll on her head and a lampshade-tipped broomstick on one hoof. There is also another pony in the room with Twilight. He didn't recognize who it is, but she appears to be wrapped up in scrolls, giving her the appearance of a mummy.

“Arise Berry, my undead specter! Go forth and make the enemy cry for their mommies!” She points the broom in a seemingly random direction.

“Yes my queen!” The pony known as Berry hobbles towards a mop with a hat, grabbing it and shaking about. Then she starts dancing the tango with said cleaning equipment.

Twilight laughs menacingly. “Yes! Muhahahahahah! Make him face the dance of DOOOOM!”

Not bothering to ask, Spike quietly walks away and pretends he didn’t see any of this. He quickly heads out the door, with only one thing to say about this situation.

“All the ponies in this town are crazy.”

Table of Contents

@