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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Episode 420: Twi-dye Sparkle

[Rated R: Drug use, some language, nopony under the age of 17 should read without parental/guardian supervision]

“Hey Twilight! Where ya goin?” asked Spike as Twilight threw her saddle bags on, weighed down by a healthy collection of books. “I’m just heading over to Froggy Bottom Bog to meet Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie.” Twilight replied, sliding the last book in with her magic,” They told me that they were Joking and asked if I would want to join them. I’m so excited! I’ve got all the books about comedy in my bags.” Spike’s eyes widened as he said,” Jokes! I have a ton of them! Twilight, pleaaaaaase let me go with you! I can knock them dead with my ‘Chariot Food’ routine.” As he posed with a pencil, held like a microphone while pointing to an imaginary audience. Twilight, with a lighter tone, said,” I would of invited you Spike, but aren’t you helping Rarity pack her dresses for Hoity Toity today?” Spike jumped, clasped his head in his claws and groaned,” Oh crud! I almost forgot about that!” He runs towards the doorway, turns briefly and yells,” Have fun with Dash and Pinkie!” and just like that, he was off to goggle at Rarity, yet again. Twilight rolled her eyes. Oh Spike, barely out of the egg and already making fillies swoon.

Twilight steps outside into the warm air, the sun was shining bright just over the eastern horizon. Closing the door behind her she takes a deep breath and sighs happily,” Looks like Rainbow Dash got up especially early to clear the sky, this is going to be an excellent day!” She trots down the street, towards Froggy Bottom Bog. While on the road, she sees the turnoff towards Sweet Apple Acres where Applejack is rounding up a herd of cattle. “Good morning Applejack! Lovely day isn’t it?” Twilight greeted the young workhorse. Applejack looked to see who said that and saw Twilight. With a smile, Applejack said,” Howdy Sugarcube! Shoot it’s a fine morning if I ever did see one. Perfect weather to take these mooin’ nellies out to pasture!” She looks at the cattle and some of them were wandering off, Winona barking at them to keep them in line.  A cow in the middle of the group moo’ed, “ Oh stop with that barking! You’re causing a rattle in my ears, don’cha know!” Applejack, looking hurried, said back to Twilight,” I’d like to chat more, but these ol’ heffers are more than a hoof full to deal with!” Twilight opened her mouth to say something, but just like that Applejack was off. Twilight yelled,” Don’t work too hard now, Bye!” With that last statement, Twilight trotted down the road, whistling Winter Wrap Up softly as she continued on.

Twilight could feel her coat becoming sweaty in the humidity as she entered into the low curling trees of Froggy Bottom Bog. She looked all around at the trees, the birds, and the interesting looking plants and creatures in the bog. She heard all around her the croaks of toads, chirps of many strange and beautiful birds, and the sound of the wind brushing against the willow branches with a low rustling. However, the sound that intrigued her most was a high pitched laughter. Pinkie Pie is already having fun I see, Twilight thought to herself as she walked in the direction of the laughter.  When she got closer, she heard what sounded like Rainbow Dash coughing and laughing hysterically. “Come on Dash! I thought you were a tough Pegasus, you silly wimpy dimpy fillie!” Pinkie Pie said, she hiccupped and made a wheezy laugh. The Pegasus retorted,” Hey! I didn’t see you take more than a single hit and…” Rainbow Dash looked up and saw a worried eyed Twilight enter their midst,” Hey Twilight! What’s up?”

Twilight coughed as she got closer to her friends in a blue gray haze that surrounded them. Her eyes watered up and blurred everything.”Wha *cough* What is goin*cough* on here! Is there a fi*cough* fire here?!” Twilight barely said, she could hardly breathe without the feeling of hacking up a lung. Pinkie Pie giggled while rolling on the ground, hiccupping every few seconds. Rainbow Dash walked close to Twilight, staggering a little bit. Twilight, still wiping her eyes, looked up at Dash and nearly jumped back. Her eyes were blue! “OH MY CELESTIA! Are you okay Dash!?” Twilight yelled as she took the rainbow colored mare’s head in her hooves, she looks over at Pinkie and yells,” What happened to Dash?” Pinkie stopped rolling around and said in a slurred tone,” Dash?” “YES DASH! WHAT HAPPENED?!” Twilight yelled. Pinkie then says,” Dash is not here man.” Pinkie looks up at Twilight and giggles. Twilight can’t believe it! Pinkies eyes were blue too! “You two wait here, I’ll go get help!” Twilight shouted in an alarmed voice. “Relax Rarity… I mean Twilight” Rainbow Dash chortled,” Nothing’s wrong here, we’re just Joking.” Pinkie stood up, wobbly nodding her head,” Yeah Twilight! You came for some Jokey Mc’Smokies right?” Twilight looked at Pinkie Pie, then at Rainbow Dash. “Are you sure you are alright?” Twilight questioned, worried for the two ponies,” I came here for some comedy, I brought all the books I could find and-“ “You don’t *cough* need those books” Dash interrupted with, “Twilight. The jokes we’re talking about are right over there!” Dash pointed to a bag made of a rough material, colored in a light pastel blue that matched Rainbows coat. Pinkie swaggered to the bag, lifted the flap, and pulled out a pad of white papers and a bag of a familiar blue plant.

“Girls! That’s poison joke! Remember the last time we touched that stuff? Throw it away right now!” Twilight demanded of the pink pony. Pinkie replied,” Well duh! We know what it does when you touch it, you fuddy duddy!” With that last remark, she stuck her nose into the blue tote bag again, pulling out a pair of tongs in her teeth. “Wbb Smbbbck thbb stuppp” Pinkie mumbled with the tongs in her teeth. She opens the baggie of Poison Joke, grabs a small bunch of leaves, and places it in the middle of one of the papers. She then rolls the paper around the poison joke and licks the paper to keep it in place. Pinkie reaches in the bag again and pulls out a lighter, Rainbow Dash takes the lighter while Pinkie puts the joint in her mouth, Dash lights it up and Pinkie breathes in, causing the other end to glow bright blue. Pinkies eyes widened with that breath and she holds it for ten seconds before breathing smoke from her pink nosey wosey.” Here try some!” Pinkie said, handing the joint over to Dash. Rainbow Dash takes a hit and pushes it towards Twilight.”Yeah try some, or are you chick- *hack* chicken.” Dash choked out the last couple of words.

Twilight was visibly shaken by her friends’ request. This seems so wrong, but I don’t want to offend them. Besides they say it’s fun, she thought to herself. Using her magic she lifts the joint into the air in front of her face. She gazes back and forth between the two mares, both cheering her on,” Do it! Do it! Do it!” She licks her lips and brings it closer to her mouth. It feels so wrong!  Twilight puts the joint between her lips. Here goes nothing! Twilight closes her eyes and she inhales deeply.

She hacks and coughs loudly, she felt like her throat would rip out of her! She opens her eyes and everything went into a blur. The sky melted into the trees and became a full rainbow of colors, the flowers seemed to explode into miniature stars made of glitter and sunshine, time slowed down in the middle of her eyes while her peripheral vision sped into different centuries, she saw worlds begin and end and existence blink out and in. All sound washed together into a symphony as the imagery danced to its tune. Twilight never before had felt like this, she was not sure of anything but certain of everything.

Pinkie and Rainbow looked at her with big grins on their faces as they saw Twilight hack up her first hit. When she recovered and her eyes opened, they saw her pupils were fully dilated and the whites of her eyes were a robin egg’s blue. “Don’t ya feel super duper happy now, Twilight?! Huh, huh, do ya, do ya?” Pinkie exclaimed as she bounced up and down. Twilight’s eyes circled in opposing directions for a few seconds before she said,” It feels like*cough* the ground* hack* lifted down away *cough*from me*wheeze*” “That’s not how the ground lifts from under you silly! This is how it does that!” Pinkie said. Suddenly she shoots up into the sky, going higher and higher until she was just a pink dot in the big blue expanse. “Duuuuuuuuuuuude….. she’s goin’ higher than you ever did, Rainbow!” Twilight mumbled to Dash. “OH YOU WANT TO SEE HIGH?! I’ll go as high as possible, and uh….” Dash scratched her head trying to think then said,” Oh yeah, I’m gonna do a Sonic Rainboom, and you’re gonna be all like,’ Oh my Celestia that’s so cool, Dash! Take me right now, my body is ready’” “What?” Twilight asked. Blushing, Rainbow Dash said,” Um… nevermind. Just watch!”

Dash leaps up in the air and shoots up towards the sky, going higher and higher but waving back and forth when her wings didn’t coordinate properly. Twilight looked up, and then fell backwards. “Hehe, too high… up… dash…. Mustache!”  She looked around and saw a frog no more than five feet away. She closed her eyes and imagined the frog with a mustache. Suddenly hair sprang from the frogs face, scaring it and making it hop away into the trees. “Oh my gosh! What happened to you Mr. Froggy?” a small voice said outside of Twilights vision. Twilight rolled onto her stomach and got up on her feet. “Fluttershy? You out there?” Twilight slurred. Fluttershy floats into the open, Twilight blinks momentarily, she does look like a butterfly! “Oh Twilight! I didn’t see you there… um would you happen to know what happened to Mr. Froggy? I mean, if you don’t know then I’ll leave you alone… but um…” Fluttershy said in that shy voice, looking at the ground. Fluttershy glances up at Twilight’s eyes and gasps,” Oh my, what happened? Why are your eyes blue?” She floats closer to Twilight. Twilight giggles and says while chuckling,” Hey ya big ole butterfly! What kinda cocoon did you hatch from?” She laughs out loud, Fluttershy looks nervously around,” I… what?” Twilight gains control of her laughter and says,” Ya know what you can use, Ms. Butterfly?” she giggles a little “A mustache!” Twilight closes her eyes momentarily. Suddenly a large brush style mustache burst out from Fluttershy’s face. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Fluttershy screamed as she flew back into the woods. Twilight just smiled, eyes shut half-way, and walked down the road back into Ponyville, with the joint still floating near her.

Flying higher and higher, Rainbow Dash already ate two or three bugs on the way to the highest point she can muster. “Jeeze! How in Equestria did Pinkie Pie get up here!” Rainbow whispers to herself. Dash forgets to flap her wings for a second and falls slightly. “Okay, settle down girl! Now to dive and do a…. um…… sonic rainboom! That’s right, and teach little Miss Know-it-all that I can beat that Pinkie Pie any day!” Rainbow Dash looks down, the ground is swirling underneath her. She rubs her eyes, but the world is still spinning. Suddenly, two large eyes and a mouth appear from the ground. Rainbow Dash screams,” Don’t you create faces at me, Equestria! I’m going to do a rainboom and nothing is gonna stop me!” The planetary face opens it mouth, spewing the largest rainbow that Dash had ever seen in her life. “FOR POOOOONNNNNYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!” Rainbow screams as she rockets downward, a blue missile aimed directly for the rainbow. Faster and faster she goes, the air stinging her blue veiny eyes  as the rainbow get’s closer and closer. *BOOOOOM* the sound rippled through the air as Rainbow Dash busted through the large heavenly rainbow ring above her, trailing the visible light spectrum behind her.  The rainbow she was diving for disappeared and behind it was the lake in the Bog. She didn’t stop and she hit the water with extreme force.

Applejack was rounding the cattle into a meadow; she peered over a small mole hill and saw Froggy Bottom Bog. “Awright Winona! This is a good place to stop, bring it in!” Applejack shouted at her dog that was rounding up the last bovine into the open. Winona runs towards Applejack, but then looks to her left and starts barking. Applejack shouted again,” Consarnit Winona! What are you barkin’ up a storm for.” She looks where Winona is barking, and she sees Twilight stumbling down the road. “Oh my, maybe I should go see what’s wrong wi-“ Suddenly, Twilight appeared right in front of her. Cockeyed and blue eyed, she had the largest and dumbest grin that Applejack has ever seen. “Twi, are you feelin’ alright? C’mon I can send you home in a jiffy!” Applejack said, worrying for her friend. Twilight only said,” Mustache!” She closed her eyes, and then a thick handlebar mustache appears on Applejacks face. “What the? How didja? GET THIS RATTY EYESORE OFF MY FACE!” Applejack demanded, but Twilight closed her eyes and disappeared in a flash. Applejack reached for her face, touching the curly lock from under her snout, she groaned,” How am I gonna get this off?! Uuuuuuugh! I’ll have to get Big Macintosh’s shears to get this thing off.” Applejack looks up and see’s a blue blur flying towards the ground,” What the, is that Rainbow Dash…” The blur exploded into a ring of rainbow colors, with a streak of rainbow following it. “Boy Howdy! She dun did it again! YEE HAW!” Applejack cheered until she heard a loud THWACK from where the Dash hit the Bog. “Dash…” Applejack whimpered. In a matter of seconds, a giant wall of water rises from the bog. Applejack stares for a moment in shock, then rounds on Winona and yells,” Move em’ back! Hurry!”

After walking into three houses unannounced, Twilight was effectively shooed away by each resident when she gave them a mustache. She finally stumbled into town, everything she saw looked like marshmallows and sugar beams. A young Pegasus was making her rounds to each mailbox, stuffing the mail in them, usually in the wrong end. “HEY DERPY!” Twilight yelled at the gray Pegasus. Derpy looked down and saw Twilight and a squirrel. She flies to the squirrel and asks,” Muffin?” “Over here, Herpaderp! I got something you might like.” Twilight said, trying to entice Derpy. Derpy trotted towards Twilight with a sidelong wall-eyed stare. Before she could say anything, Twilight stuck the poison joke joint into her mouth. Twilight saw Derpy’s eyes spin around, and then change shape and color like a slot machine in Las Pegasus. Derpy’s eyes stopped spinning, both pointing forward and face disgruntled. “Twilight, I cannot begin to contemplate how in Equestria you were able to come across such a foul and ridiculous habit?” Derpy questioned Twilight, straightening her posture. She pulls out a top hat and monocle from her mailbag and continues to say,” If you will excuse me, I am late for my meeting with the Mayor. I will have a droll time explaining how my day was almost ruined by a Ms. Twilight Sparkle and her filthy poison joke cigarette.” She dons the hat and monocle,” Good day to you, Mam!” Derpy flies away towards the Mayor’s Office, leaving Twilight standing there wondering, “What the hell just happened?” She takes another hit of the poison joke joint, and then trots towards town while enjoying the dancing and singing trees.

Spike was loading another crate onto the closest chariot parked outside the Carousel Boutique, grunting while lifting it onto the open bed. Rarity was magically floating another couple into a similar chariot next to it, she looks over to Spike and says,” Thank you again for helping me with all this work. Manual labor is no task for a lady, and I would of simply died if I had to do this myself.” “Ooooh, my pleasure!” Spike said, voice cracking from being near his one true love,” Anything to help my swe- I mean I would do this for anypony!” Hoity Toity walked next to Rarity,” This is simply fabulous work. All the dresses are accounted for. It would have been done sooner if it wasn’t for each and every one of my ‘workers’ didn’t have the same excuse of some weirdo yellow unicorn making them sick. The nerve of some ponies!” Rarity, blushing, said,” It was no problem, Mr. Toity. Anything for one of the most handsome and debonair ponies in Cant- OWWW!” Something pulled sharply at her tail; she rounds herself to see a familiar looking yellow unicorn. “You, Scoundrel! My tail is not a piece of biscotti you could just enjoy with tea!” The yellow unicorn spits out Rarity’s tail, looks up with blue eyes and says,” Sorry Celestia. I just wanted… food and *hack* that purple bush looked so tasty and…” Spike looks at the unicorn.” Twilight, is that you? What happened to you? Why are you yellow?” Spike asked, walking around Twilight, feeling her fur and tail to see if it was really a dye that turned her yellow. “Oh Spike, you’re crazy, just like oatmeal… friggin mooch, taking my money! Stupid oatmeal! But *hiccup* on another note, I de*hiccup* deci* hiccup* decided that each and everypony here deserves a present!” A yellow Twilight stumbled and closed her eyes, showing strain. A bright light flashed for half a second.

Rarity, Hoity Toity, and Spike opened their eyes and their jaws all fell. They each had a thick, bushy, mustache hanging off of their faces. Rarity’s eyes bugged out as she screamed,” OH CELESTIA! CELESTIA!!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY FACE!” Her eyes rolled in the back of her head and she fainted right on the spot. Spike stroked his mustache,” Way to go Twilight! I missed my fuzzy facial friend.” He petted the stache,” Who’s a good mustache, you are! Yes you are so sweet!” Hoity, simply frazzled, took out a pocket mirror and shrieked like a little filly.” Why did you do this?! I haven’t worn a mustache since I was in band, Village Stable, as the police officer!” He said in a whiny voice, he put the mirror back in his coat pocket and sighed,” Oh well, at least with these dresses, we will set the fashion world on Fire!” Twilight’s eyes spun around a little then yelled,” I bring fire, Cavepony!” She closed her eyes, a flash of light appeared, and the crates burst into flames. Hoity screamed,” Oh My! Fire, Fire! Somepony please help! My dresses, my dresses!”

As the crates grew brighter and the smoke rose higher, the ground started to shake. Hoity Toity looking shocked, trying to see what was causing the earth to shake, while Twilight was trying to spin on her horn. They see a plume of dust rise from Froggy Bottom Bog, in front was a herd of stampeding cows. Applejack, and her thick glorious mustache, was galloping alongside them when she see’s everypony and yells,” TIDAL WAVE! EVERYPONY RUN FOR THE HILLS!” and she was off towards the other side of the town. Spike, Hoity Toity, and Twilight look again and see a massive wall of water rush towards them.  Spike and Hoity turn to run; the pegasus’ pulling the chariots loosened their harnesses and flew upward, away from the wave. Before anypony got far enough, the water crashed into them, flipping the chariots and breaking a few of the windows of the boutique. Twilight was flung into the side of the building, knocking the wind out of her; the poison joke joint was washed away.

Mr. and Mrs. Cake were kind as always to Zecora by giving her an extra cookie in her batch. “Come again soon!” they said as she walked towards the door. “Come to this store I always will, when visiting your Ponyville!” Zecora said gratefully as she walked outside. She steps off of the deck when her hoof makes a SQUISH! She looks around, her eyes widen as she said,” Why does water soak this lane, when there wasn’t a drop of rain?” She gallops through the town and reaches the Carousel Boutique. Several chariots were overturned; partially burnt dresses and crates littered the place. She sees a dragon and a fancy pony in a tree, both completely soaked. On the roof, she spies Rarity screaming,” Please won’t somepony help?! I don’t want to die with a musta-a-a-ache! Muahahahahaha!” She cries on her own boutique. “How did this happen to this place? If someone is at fault, they must show their face!” Zecora yelled. Down the muddy street, an orange Pegasus is walking towards them. Zecora squints her eyes to focus on her; she was wet, her mane tangled, and her eyes cockeyed and blue. The orange Pegasus tripped on her way over. “Don’t worry! It’s just me, Dainbow Rash, I mean…” Rainbow Dash fell over before she could finish her sentence. Zecora sighed,” I’m aghast, but no surprise. I see poison joke in her eyes.” Dash lifted her head and said,” Heck yeah! I would offer you some, but it got washed away. Oh… um…. Sorry ‘bout that, but it did make a wicked Sonic Rainboom!” Twilight got up and staggered towards Zecora, shaking her head as she said,” Uuugh! What happened, I *hic*… ooooooh! My head hurts!” Grasping her head in her hooves, Zecora stood over her and spoke down to her,” Of the once blue now orange pony I can see, but with you how can it possibly be? A better head on your shoulders you spoke, never once did I think you toke.” Zecora puts a hoof around one of Twilights yellow soaking wet locks and explained,” Poison Joke is easy to a trained eye. The coat changes into a different dye. While touching the plants have unclear ends. Inhaling poison joke makes certain trends.”

A herd of ponies, many still wet and shaken, entered the area around the Carousel Boutique. The mayor at the head walks up to Zecora and asks,” What happened, we all were going about our daily routines when suddenly, SPLOOSH! The whole town is soaked, plants and wagons are upturned everywhere! We were just lucky that everypony survived!” A low murmur exuded from the crowd, a wall of worried faces looking between each other. Zecora faced the mayor and said,” It is my most unfortunate shame, to show these two are to blame.” She pointed to the yellow Twilight and orange Rainbow Dash.” When poison joke is there to inhale, only madness and chaos will prevail.” The mayor scowled as she looked at the two doomed mares and bellowed,” This is completely unacceptable! Not only did you smoke Poison Joke, against the law I might add, but you almost destroyed the town because of it.” She raised her hoof,” As mayor of Ponyville, I will see you go to court! This crime is punishable by community service for-“ Suddenly, Pinkie Pie’s head bursts out of the ground. Her head is now a cool greenish blue and she growls,” FOREVER!” The mayor rolls her eyes and says,” Not forever. I was about to say ‘until your coat changes back to its normal color.” Pinkie Pie said,” Oh, woopsie doopsie! Hahahahahaha” The mayor then places a hoof on her face.

The next morning, Spike is running through a sea of zombie ponies. A double barrel shotgun in one claw and a frightened Rarity clinging onto another.” Oh Spike, they are everywhere! What are we ever to do?” She places a hoof on her head.  Spike grabs onto her shoulders and says,” Whatever happens here tonight, babe, I won’t let them take you away. We will get away if I have to put a slug in each and every undead scum of a mule here!” Rarity blushes and says softly,” Kiss me you fool!” He bends down slowly, about to kiss her beautiful lips.

*CRASH* Spike falls onto the floor next to his bed. He gets up, clasps his head, and groans. He opens his eyes and sees a yellow and purple swirled pony standing above him. “Are you okay Spike?” Twilight asked as she put an icepack on his head with her magic. The sky was still pitch black through the windows; the time on the clock was 4:30 A.M. “Better than you, I should say. Look at you, Twi-dye Sparkle” Spike chuckled,” If I was you, I would totally keep that fur pattern! Maybe you can form a drum circle with Fluttershy and Angel.” He laughed even harder. Twilight rolled her eyes and said,” While it does look neat, only when it’s gone can I stop doing community service.” She groaned in her shame muttering,” How can I let myself do something so dumb, Spike? I knew that it felt wrong, but I just let them tell me what to do.” With that she perked her head up, she said in a more authoritative tone,” Spike, take a letter!” Spike grumbled and walked over to the table, he picked up a piece of parchment and a feather pen,” Alright I’m all ears.”

Dear Princess Celestia,

I learned that while doing activities with your friends is a fun and worthwhile endeavor, one must know what is right and wrong. If something your friends are doing feels wrong to you and maybe hurting themselves or others, then you should put your hoof down and say no. Making your friends mad is no fun, but falling into peer pressure can be harmful to yourself and others around you, and that is no fun at all. A true friend will respect your decisions and listen to your opinions and, in the end, both of you will be happier and better for it. Having self confidence and doing what is right instead of following the crowd is hard, but is a sign of true wisdom and courage. In the end, ponies will respect you for your bravery.

Your Faithful Student,

Twilight Sparkle

“Did you get all that?” Twilight asked. Spike nodded his head,” Yup!” “Great.” Twilight said as she put on her reflective orange vest. Spike tried to stifle a laugh, a tie dye purple and yellow unicorn wearing a shiny orange vest is very hard not to laugh at. Twilight sighed,” Well, I’m off to do my duties. I have to clean off all the houses that were hit by the wave yesterday.” With her head lowered, she walked out of the house, into the shadows of the early morning darkness. With the letter in hand, Spike had an excellent idea. He goes to a dresser next to the bookshelves, pulls it away to reveal a hole in the wall. He reaches into the hole and pulls out a small bag. He upturns the bag onto the freshly written note, a fresh wad of mashed up poison joke. He burns the note, sending it off to Celestia, and giggles hard to himself as he walks back to his little bed.

On the platform overlooking the valley, Luna focuses her magic on the moon. The giant silver sphere blinks out of existence as the night comes to an end. “All done, Sister. Let the night end and the day begin.” She smiled at Celestia as she walked away into the castle. Celestia smiled back at Luna,” Well done, I’m so pleased that you are happy and well.” She turns to walk up on the platform when suddenly a burst of green flame sprouted in front of her. A note appeared in a thick blue haze of smoke. Celestia hacked and coughed when she breathed in that smoke in shock.  She used a wing to blow the excess smoke away to nothing, and then she just stood there. Her eyes widened, her smile grew, and all throughout Canterlot, her giddy high pitched laughter filled the air. She tiptoed over on the platform and closed her eyes. The sun shot up in the sky and glowed in many different colors. In the center was a huge goofy looking smiley face. “Sun soooooo pretty!” Celestia mumbled as the sun danced in the sky.

The End.

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