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Author's Note: This is the extended version of a fic I wrote for Equestria Chronicles' Craziest Fic Ever contest, where it won first prize.  The original contest guidelines can be found here, but for convenience’s sake I will copy/paste the more pertinent rules:

2. Your fanfic does NOT have to be in line with the site plot or canon plot.

3. Your fanfic MUST include a strange ship.

4. Your fanfic MUST incorporate the phrase "But really, I don't want to. It's just too hard and I don't like it that way."

Hopefully, these rules will explain how I chose to go about writing the fic, as well as why I used the particular story concept that I did.  I'm not saying it's an excuse... I'm saying it's an explanation.

Also worth noting is the fact that the original fic size was limited to 2,000 words.  This wasn't enough for me to make use of all the ideas I had for the fic, so I decided to write this extended edition after the contest was over.  You can find the original contest submission here, but aside from a few minor edits, I left most of its content unchanged for this version.  The only major difference with this version is that it contains new scenes that weren't present in the contest entry; and now, with a new word count of 3,866, it’s almost twice as dumb as the original!

That should be all the information you need to know.  My sincerest apologies to Lauren Faust, everyone at Hasbro, and anyone who decides to read this fic.

Double Rainbow [ Director’s Cut ]

By ProBrono

"All right, Rainbow Dash, I've almost finished the preparations.  Just give me another second to check everything."

Twilight Sparkle referenced her spellbook to make sure everything was in order.  In the middle of her library was a magic circle outlined with chalk, with various crystals placed along the edges.  In the middle of the circle stood Rainbow Dash, wearing a red rubber nose, with her mane done up into a rainbow-colored afro.

"Remind me," Spike said, watching the process from the sidelines.  "How did you say you ended up like this again?"

"I don't even know, myself!" Rainbow Dash replied.  "Pinkie Pie pulled some kind of convoluted surprise prank on me, and before I knew it, my hair ended up like this!  It's not even a wig, she somehow made my actual hair take this shape!"

"Believe it or not, this isn't the first time I've seen this," Twilight said.  "Don't worry, once I cast this spell, you should be back to normal.  Now, I need you to hold still for a second."

Twilight's horn began to glow.  In a split second, the room flashed a bright white light, accompanied by a clap of thunder.  Everypony reflexively covered their eyes, then looked back up once they heard no further noises.  Although Rainbow Dash's rubber nose had fallen off, her hair was still an afro; however, everyone quickly realized that there was now another pony in the room.  It was a second Rainbow Dash, an exact copy of the one standing in the magic circle, hair made up into an afro and everything.

Confused, Twilight quickly referenced the spell book she had been using, and gasped.  "Oh no!  That wasn't the de-clowning spell, that was the de-cloning spell!"  She paused.  "Also I accidentally cast it backwards, so it was just a regular cloning spell."

Rainbow Dash seemed intrigued by this development.  "Heeey... I think I like this spell."

"Don't worry, I can fix this.  The de-cloning spell is right here, I'll just--"

"Now hold on a minute!"  Rainbow Dash put up a hoof.  "I can get used to this!  This way I have a helping hoof at clearing the skies."

"But... You've said yourself that you're the fastest flier in Ponyville.  You don't need help, do you?"

"I could clear the skies by myself, sure.  But really, I don't want to.  It's just too hard and I don't like it that way."

"I don't, either!"  The other Rainbow Dash said.  "Wow!  I bet we have a lot in common!"

"I bet we do, too!  We should hang out later.  I'm gonna go try some new flying tricks after this, do you want to come with me?"

"Sure!"  Both Rainbow Dashes beamed at each other.

Twilight Sparkle gave a sidelong glance to the two ponies.  "For some reason, I'm feeling very uncomfortable about this."

--------------------

Once the two Dashes had been de-clowned, they set out to fly in the sky, doing barrel rolls and loop-de-loops.  What started off as shared practice quickly turned into a competition, which eventually led to racing, which eventually led to them chasing each other around.  Their interaction quickly became very close and playful, as their chases began to culminate in tickle fights once one managed to tackle the other.

"I've never had so much fun!" one of the Rainbow Dashes said.  "You're the only pony in Ponyville who can keep up with me!"

"I know.  And it's like I don't have to even say anything, you always know exactly what's on my mind!"

"It's wonderful!  I could keep doing this forever!"

"You know, it's almost as if... we were made for each other."  Both of the Rainbow Dashes blushed, and rubbed their heads bashfully.

"You wanna make out?" the other one offered.

"Do I!"

They started tonguing right there in the sky.  As it happened, they were parked right above Sweet Apple Acres, where Big Macintosh was making the rounds.  He looked up to see what was blocking the sun, and when he realized what it was, his eyes bugged out and his jaw dropped, causing his wheat sprig to fall out of his mouth.

"This is exactly like mah dream," he muttered.  "Eeeeeeeeeyup."

Applejack passed by and noticed that her brother was absorbed in something happening just above them.  When she looked up and saw what it was, she grabbed her hat with both hooves in despair.  "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" she screamed.

--------------------

Rarity burst into the library.  "TWILIGHT SPARKLE!" she yelled.

Twilight and Pinkie Pie both turned their heads to look at her.  Twilight had been looking at a spellbook, and Pinkie was sitting in the middle of a magic circle.  "What is it?" Twilight asked.

Rarity grit her teeth.  "Would you care to explain to me why there are two Rainbow Dashes flocking about?  And why they're chasing each other around everywhere, causing havoc, partaking in vulgar public displays of affection outside my boutique, scaring off my customers!?"

"Woah, what?"  Twilight raised an eyebrow and looked to the other pony in the room.  "You didn't tell me about that part, Pinkie."

Pinkie shrugged.  "I thought it was obvious!"

"Twilight, they told me you were responsible for this catastrophe," Rarity said.  "My boutique can handle only so much narcissism in a single day, and smooching yourself is where I draw the line.  I expect you to take care of this problem posthaste."

"Well... all right, I do still have the de-cloning spell.  I'll see what I can do once I'm done with Pinkie here."  Twilight began to focus magic into her horn, then stopped.  "Wait... Pinkie, you didn't ask for this clone for the purpose of making out with it, did you?"

Rarity's eyes widened.  Pinkie Pie giggled.  "No, silly!  I just thought it looked like fun to have another me around!  Plus, this way I can hold TWO parties at once!  I've tried to do it by myself, but really, I don't want to.  It's just too hard and I don't like it that way."

"Okay, if you say so.  But I'll be keeping an eye on you."  Twilight's horn began to glow again.  "Hold still for a second."

Rarity looked back and forth between the two ponies while stammering.  Suddenly, there was a crack of thunder and a burst of light, causing Rarity to shield her eyes.  Once the glow had subsided, Rarity cautiously looked back to the scene in front of her.  There were now a total of four ponies in the room: Rarity, Twilight, Pinkie... and a new Rainbow Dash.

Twilight made several contorted facial expressions as she assessed what had just happened.  Then she looked back to her book in disbelief.  "What IS this, the Rainbow Dash Creation Spell!?"

Pinkie Pie put her hooves to her cheeks in delight.  "Aww, Twilight!  It's the best clone anyone's ever made for me!  Thank you so much!"  Pinkie walked over to put a hoof around Rainbow Dash's shoulder.  "Whaddya say, sister?  Should we hold a double-party in celebration?"

Rainbow Dash knocked Pinkie's hoof away.  "A party?  Are you kidding me?  I've got some flying to do!"  She then flew out the door.

Pinkie Pie gasped and started bouncing after her new friend, being careful to hop over Rarity, who was passed out on the floor.  "Wait!  Pinkie Pie #2!  Come back!!"

Once both ponies had left the library, Applejack appeared and cautiously peeked into the open doorway.  "Er... Twilight... Was that Rainbow Dash right there the original, or the clone?"

"Neither.  It was the NEW clone."  Twilight rubbed her forehead in frustration.  "Geez, I must really be losing my touch."

Applejack gasped.  "A THIRD Rainbow Dash?  Maybe Ah still have a chance with her after all!"  Applejack left to gallop after her new romantic pursuit.

--------------------

A few days later, the first Rainbow Dash clone sat behind the Quills and Sofas building, waiting for her companion.  After several minutes, the other Rainbow Dash clone appeared.

"Sorry I'm late, I had to kick everyone's butt at air hockey," she said.  "Ready to make out?"  She held out her hooves and puckered her lips in anticipation.

"Yeah... about that... I've been thinking that maybe we shouldn't meet like this anymore."

The other Rainbow Dash arched her eyebrows and put two hooves on her hips.  "Getting cold hooves, are we?"

"It's not that I don't care about you.  I do!  But I care about the other Rainbow Dash just as much, and we were together first!"  She pawed at the ground.  "You'll be okay.  I'm sure there's another pony out there who's perfect for you."

"You're the only pony who's perfect for me!  From the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew we were meant to be together!  I've never seen another pony like you!  Well, you know, except for that other one."

"Oh, Rainbow Dash," Rainbow Dash said.  "Hold me."

As the two hugged each other, a third Rainbow Dash appeared around the corner of the building.  "A-HA!  The jig is up!  I knew something was going on between you two!"

The two lovers reacted immediately, and started flying away at top speed.  The other Rainbow Dash chased after them.  "You can't run from me forever!  I know all your tricks!"

The three Rainbow Dashes flew for a while, with the two in front trying to pull various evasive maneuvers, zig-zagging through buildings and trees, making abrupt mid-air changes in direction.  After a particularly unsuccessful run where they all circled around the same cloud formation eleven times, one of the Dashes stopped and rubbed her head.  "Uh... What were we trying to do again?  I've lost track, which one of you is which?"

The other two stopped next to her, and one of them started to speak.  "I'm the original, and I'm chasing after you because you're cheating on me!  You said you'd be my multichromatic muffin forever!"

"No, I'm the one that agreed to stay with you forever... but, uh... I don't remember you calling me a multichromatic muffin."

"That's the nickname she came up with for me," the other clone admitted.

"What!?  You mean... you've been seeing both of us on the sly?"  She looked back and forth between the other two Dashes.  "I... I don't know what to say!  You've BOTH been cheating on me!"

"Hey, YOU'RE hardly one to talk!  What was I just chasing you two for?"

"I'm sorry!  I can't help it if you're both so awesome!"

"Hey, I was about to break it off and go back to you!"

"Well, I was about to break it off with her to go back to you!"

"Huh!?  When were you planning on doing that?"

"I just told you about it earlier today!"

"You did?  But... Wait.  I thought... Which of you did I just meet behind Quills and Sofas?"

"That was me."

"No, that was me.  You were the one who met her outside the candy store."

"Wha... You can't tell me where I was!  I know where I was!  Except... it's true I was at the candy store too."

"Bu--How does THAT work?  Which of you have I been talking to, and when?"

"I don't know.  Which Rainbow Dash are you again?"

"I don't even remember anymore!"

The three had hit an impasse.  They all hovered in the air, rubbing their heads, which were all hurting thoroughly at this point.  Suddenly, one of them threw her hooves into the air.  "I don't care!  I like both of you equally, and I'm sure you both feel the same.  How about we just make up and make out?"  The other two nodded enthusiastically.

Far below, Fluttershy had gathered a group of rabbits together in the field and was setting up an easel for a presentation.  "Thank you for coming, everyone," she said.  "Normally I don't like to meddle in your personal lives, and I know that bunnies will be bunnies.  But I think you've been having some serious problems with infidelity recently, and I just wanted to remind you that you still have your partners and children to think about."  She looked at one frowning white rabbit in particular.  "Angel Bunny, don't pout.  You need to hear this too."

Angel crossed his arms and started tapping his foot impatiently.  Fluttershy ignored him and flipped to the first chart in her presentation.  "Okay, first I need to tell you about economical studies done on single-parent households versus two-parent households.  I don't think you realize just how much of a difference it makes in the stability of the lives of the little ones when--"

Fluttershy stopped talking when she noticed one bunny excitedly jabbing a finger in the direction of the sky.  Fluttershy looked up and saw the three ponies above her.  Her pupils dilated, she bit her lip, and then she stood stock still, not moving a muscle.  She would maintain this position for the next five hours.

Angel looked at Fluttershy, then looked up and rubbed his chin thoughtfully.  After a few seconds, he closed his eyes, nodded, and gave a thumbs-up.

--------------------

About a week later, at nighttime in Cloudsdale, the three Rainbow Dashes were at home, asleep on the couch after an exhausting pillow fight.  They were in a deep sleep and did not hear the front door open as Twilight Sparkle and Applejack peeked in.

"I'm getting kind of nervous," Twilight whispered.  "Do we really have to do this?"

Applejack glared at her.  "Yes, we have to do this.  Rarity's gone nuts, Pinkie's upset that her new 'sister' won't talk to 'er, Fluttershy still can't form a full sentence after what happened last week, and Ah’m mad because now there are three Rainbow Dashes and they won't let me have a piece o' the pie."

Twilight sighed.  "Ooooookaaaaay... I'll start doing the outline... you set up the gemstones."

The two ponies snuck in.  Though Twilight's cloud-walking magic had made their hoofsteps light, they were still careful to avoid making any loud noises as they started setting the stage for the de-cloning process.  Twilight carefully started sketching a magic circle on the ground around the couch, and Applejack followed after her, placing gems as she had been instructed.

Just as Twilight finished drawing the circle, Applejack accidentally dropped one of the gems, causing it to make a loud ting as it hit the ground.  Twilight and Applejack halted, holding their respective breaths; two of the Rainbow Dashes on the couch started shuffling around.  Then, one of them started humming in her sleep.

"Multichromatic muffiiiiins... Fastest muffins in Equestriaaa... More multichromatic than Celestiaaa... I love my little multichromatic muffiiiiins."

None of the Rainbow Dashes woke up, but as the one in the middle finished singing, the other two readjusted themselves to hug her tighter.  Applejack slowly picked up the gem she had dropped and placed it in the correct position, then turned to Twilight to mouth the words "Go, go," at her.

Twilight turned her head away from the couch to face Applejack.  She had tears in her eyes.  She shook her head.

Applejack grabbed Twilight by the tail and dragged her outside.  "What the heck're you doin'!?" she hissed.

"I can't do it!" Twilight started weeping.  "I can't do it!  That was so beautiful!  They deserve each other, they're perfect together!  All they have is each other, and their forbidden love is all that keeps them going in this crazy world!"

Applejack stared at the sobbing unicorn.  "Twi, Ah think you might be readin' too many romance novels," she said.

--------------------

Eventually, the ponies gave up on trying to convince Twilight to reduce the Rainbow Dash population back to one.  As the months passed, the ponies became more adjusted to the situation, particularly once the Rainbow Dash copies started appearing together less often.  Though several ponies still found the whole clone-romance thing to be awkward, it eventually became a simple daily fact of life for them, and fewer and fewer comments were made about it.

However, one day something happened that raised questions among the group.  Fluttershy walked into Sugarcube Corner, bringing a foal with her.  "Pinkie Pie, look who wandered into my yard.  She's so cute, I just had to show somepony."

Pinkie Pie looked more closely.  It was a tiny blue pegasus, with a rainbow-colored mane, bright-eyed and mischievous-looking.  "Is that a baby Rainbow Dash!?  Ooooh, how adorable!  Can you say, '20% cooler'?"

"But really, I don't want to. It's just too hard and I don't like it that way," the foal responded.

"She keeps saying that.  I don't know why," Fluttershy said.

Suddenly, the door burst open, and one of the adult Rainbow Dashes stepped in and scooped up the baby.  "Number Twenty-Three!  I've been worried sick about you!  How many times have I told you not to go off by yourself?"

"Hi Dash!"  Pinkie Pie waved.  "Are you related to this cute little filly?"

"Of course.  This is mah baby," Rainbow Dash replied.  "Be nice to her, she's a little weird."

"But really, I don't want to. It's just too hard and I don't like it that way," the little Dash said again.

"Rainbow Dash," Fluttershy said, raising an eyebrow.  "This is your child?"

"Yes."

"Did you have it with... you know, with your..."

"With one of the other Rainbow Dashes, yes."

Fluttershy had only entertained the possibility as a joke, and her eye started twitching.  Pinkie Pie was simply disappointed and said, "Rainbow Dash!  This is the kind of thing you're supposed to share with your friends!  Why didn't you tell us you had a baby?"

"Um," Fluttershy said, "I was wondering more about how you had the baby."

Rainbow Dash looked back and forth between the two.  "Well, you see... that's..."  Rainbow Dash then flew out the door without finishing her explanation.

--------------------

Suspicions were raised among the ponies when Rainbow Dash later denied the incident that had happened with Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, but there was nothing anypony could do to prove it had happened.  They simply continued with their lives for the next several months, as there was nothing else they could do.  But unstated questions remained among the group nevertheless.

Then one day, Twilight Sparkle was quietly studying in her library when she suddenly heard the front door open and shut in quick succession.  She looked over to see Rarity had come in, breathing heavily and holding the door shut with as much of her own force as possible.  "Twilight!" she said.  "Rainbow Dash!  Everywhere!  So many Rainbow Dashes!"

"Huh?" Twilight asked, though Rarity had no time to explain before the door burst open again, knocking her aside, as Applejack galloped into the library.

"We've got an emergency!"  Applejack said.  "The whole town's under siege!  The Rainbow Dash army is tryin' to take over!"

Fluttershy slunk in right after Applejack.  "Oh, my.  It's quite scary out there," she said, moving to curl up in the corner of the room.

Pinkie Pie casually strolled in afterwards.  "Hey, guys!  Why are you all coming in here?  Are we having a party?"

"Everyone slow down!  I need an explanation here!" Twilight said.  "Now tell me, what's this about Rainbow Dash?"

"Ah don't know how she did it, but she's made about a hundred more copies of herself!"  Applejack said.  "Now she's tryin' to take over Equestria, sayin' somethin' about a 'Republic of Rainbow Dash'!"

"You must stop her, Twilight.  As you know, I thought TWO Rainbow Dashes was too much," Rarity said.  "Didn't you say you had a de-cloning spell?"

Twilight grimaced.  "I do, but... I don't think Rainbow Dash cloned herself.  I don't think she knows anyone else with magic powerful enough to help her do that.  Based on what you've all said, I think she's just been busy making babies.  I can't do anything with natural twins."

"Natural twins!?" Rarity spat.  "These babies are twins of their mothers, who are twins of each other!  How is THAT natural!?"

Suddenly, ten Rainbow Dashes arrived at the door.  "All right guys, tie 'em up!" the head one commanded.  "But be gentle.  We want to rule with an iron fist of peace."

With two Rainbow Dashes to counter each pony in the room, it was futile for the girls to resist.  "I don't understand!"  Twilight said.  "Why are you doing this?  And how did you all grow to adulthood so quickly?"

"We're tired of the monarchy.  We're instating a democracy, where every Rainbow Dash has the right to vote.  As for how we grew up so fast..." Rainbow Dash put on her flight goggles.  "Well, we are the fastest fliers in Equestria!  All right, guys, to the brig!"

The Rainbow Dashes tied up the other ponies with rope and began to carry them away.  "EEEEEEEEK!" Fluttershy screamed.

"WHEEEEEEEE!" Pinkie Pie yelled.

"THIS ISN'T TEACHING ME ANYTHING ABOUT FRIENDSHIP!" Twilight lamented.

"AH SHOULD BE ENJOYIN' THIS, BUT AH'M NOT!" Applejack noted.

"BUT REALLY, I DON'T WANT TO!  IT'S JUST TOO HARD AND I DON'T LIKE IT THAT WAY!" Rarity screeched.

--------------------

Princess Celestia remained steadfast at her throne.  In front of her were a thousand Rainbow Dashes, with all of the Equestrian National Guard behind them, restrained with ropes and shackles.  "Give it up, Celestia!" the Rainbow Dash in front said.  "Your entire army has been defeated, and we haven't even broken a sweat!  We're giving you ONE CHANCE to turn the throne over to us peacefully!"

Celestia calmly took a sip of apple juice from her wine glass.  "Rainbow Dash, you are a fool," she said simply.  "Do you really think you were the first pony to think of this plan?"

"You mean revolution?  No.  But I do think I'm the only one who knew how to do it right!"

"Not that plan," Celestia said.  "This one."

All of a sudden, the roof of the castle exploded, causing rubble to rain down from above.  The Rainbow Dash army was safely out of the path of destruction, but the explosion was not their main concern.  Jumping down from the vast hole in the ceiling were ten new alicorns; clones of Celestia.  Through the hole in the ceiling, dozens more Celestia clones looked down at the scene.  None of them looked happy.

"Uh oh," Rainbow Dash said.

--------------------

"Blue moooon... you saw me standing alooooone..."

It was nighttime, and Applejack was fiddling with a banjo, looking up at the moon.  The entire Rainbow Dash army had been banished there, and little blue specks could still be seen moving around on the surface from this distance.

Big Macintosh approached his sister.  "Applejack, what--"

"Shh, shh, they're doin' that thing again," Applejack said, pulling out a pair of binoculars.

Every once in a while, the Rainbow Dashes would take positions on the moon to spell out a phrase for the ponies back in Equestria.  Tonight they got together to form the sentence "CELESTIA IS A BUTT FACE."

"You know, Ah don't know why you do, considerin' what she did," Big Macintosh said.  "But if you miss 'er, why don't you ask Celestia to let you visit 'er?"

"Ah suppose Ah could," Applejack sighed, putting down the binoculars.  "But really, Ah don't want to.  It's just too hard and Ah don't like it that way."

Double Rainbow

By ProBrono

"All right, Rainbow Dash, I've almost finished the preparations.  Just give me another second to check everything."

Twilight Sparkle referenced her spellbook to make sure everything was in order.  In the middle of her library was a magic circle outlined with chalk, with various crystals placed along the edges.  In the middle of the circle stood Rainbow Dash, wearing a red rubber nose, with her mane done up into a rainbow-colored afro.

"Remind me," Spike said, watching the process from the sidelines.  "How did you say you ended up like this again?"

"I don't even know, myself!" Rainbow Dash replied.  "Pinkie Pie pulled some kind of convoluted surprise prank on me, and before I knew it, my hair ended up like this!  It's not even a wig, she somehow made my actual hair take this shape!"

"Believe it or not, this isn't the first time I've seen this," Twilight said.  "Don't worry, once I cast this spell, you should be back to normal.  Now, I need you to hold still for a second."

Twilight's horn began to glow.  In a split second, the room flashed a bright white light, accompanied by a clap of thunder.  Everyone reflexively covered their eyes, then looked back up once they heard no further noises.  Although Rainbow Dash's rubber nose had fallen off, her hair was still an afro; however, everyone quickly realized that there was now another pony in the room.  It was a second Rainbow Dash, an exact copy of the one standing in the magic circle, hair made up into an afro and everything.

Confused, Twilight quickly referenced the spell book she had been using, and gasped.  "Oh no!  That wasn't the de-clowning spell, that was the de-cloning spell!"  She paused.  "Also I accidentally cast it backwards, so it was just a regular cloning spell."

Rainbow Dash seemed intrigued by this development.  "Heeey... I think I like this spell."

"Don't worry, I can fix this.  The de-cloning spell is right here, I'll just--"

"Now hold on a minute!"  Rainbow Dash put up a hoof.  "I can get used to this!  This way I have a helping hoof at clearing the skies."

"But... You've said yourself that you're the fastest flier in Ponyville.  You don't need help, do you?"

"I could clear the skies by myself, sure.  But really, I don't want to.  It's just too hard and I don't like it that way."

"I don't, either!"  The other Rainbow Dash said.  "Wow!  I bet we have a lot in common!"

"I bet we do, too!  We should hang out later.  I'm gonna go try some new flying tricks after this, do you want to come with me?"

"Sure!"  Both Rainbow Dashes beamed at each other.

Twilight Sparkle gave a sidelong glance to the two ponies.  "For some reason, I'm feeling very uncomfortable about this."

----------

Once the two Dashes had been de-clowned, they set out to fly in the sky, doing barrel rolls and loop-de-loops.  What started off as shared practice quickly turned into a competition, which eventually led to racing, which eventually led to them chasing each other around.  Their interaction quickly became very close and playful, as their chases began to culminate in tickle fights once one managed to tackle the other.

"I've never had so much fun!" one of the Rainbow Dashes said.  "You're the only pony in Ponyville who can keep up with me!"

"I know.  And it's like I don't have to even say anything, you always know exactly what's on my mind!"

"It's wonderful!  I could keep doing this forever!"

"You know, it's almost as if... we were made for each other."  Both of the Rainbow Dashes blushed, and rubbed their heads bashfully.

"You wanna make out?" the other one offered.

"Do I!"

They started tonguing right there in the sky.  As it happened, they were parked right above Sweet Apple Acres, where Big Mackintosh was making the rounds.  He looked up to see what was blocking the sun, and when he realized what it was, his eyes bugged out and his jaw dropped, causing his wheat sprig to fall out of his mouth.

"This is exactly like mah dream," he muttered.  "Eeeeeeeeeyup."

Applejack passed by and noticed that her brother was absorbed in something happening just above them.  When she looked up and saw what it was, she grabbed her hat with both hooves in despair.  "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" she screamed.

----------

Although many ponies were disturbed by this new turn of events, the following months passed without any other major incidents to speak of.  Rainbow Dash's friends tried their best to adjust to the new couple, as well as the sudden double helping of Rainbow Dash.

However, one day something happened that raised questions among the group.  Fluttershy walked into Sugarcube Corner, bringing a foal with her.  "Pinkie Pie, look who wandered into my yard.  She's so cute, I just had to show somepony."

Pinkie Pie looked more closely.  It was a tiny blue pegasus, with a rainbow-colored mane.  "Is that a baby Rainbow Dash!?  Ooooh, how adorable!  Can you say, '20% cooler'?"

"But really, I don't want to. It's just too hard and I don't like it that way," the foal responded.

"She keeps saying that.  I don't know why," Fluttershy said.

Suddenly, the door burst open, and one of the adult Rainbow Dashes stepped in and scooped up the baby.  "Number Twenty-Three!  I've been worried sick about you!  How many times have I told you not to go off by yourself?"

"Hi Dash!"  Pinkie Pie waved.  "Are you related to this cute little filly?"

"Of course.  This is mah baby," Rainbow Dash replied.  "Be nice to her, she's a little weird."

"But really, I don't want to. It's just too hard and I don't like it that way," the little Dash said again.

"Rainbow Dash," Fluttershy said, raising an eyebrow.  "This is your child?"

"Yes."

"Did you have it with... with the other..."

"With the other Rainbow Dash, yes."

Fluttershy had only entertained the possibility as a joke, and her eye started twitching.  Pinkie Pie was simply disappointed, and said, "Rainbow Dash!  This is the kind of thing you're supposed to share with your friends!  Why didn't you tell us you had a baby?"

"Um," Fluttershy said, "I was wondering more about how you had the baby."

Rainbow Dash looked back and forth between the two.  "Well, you see... that's..."  Rainbow Dash then flew out the door without finishing her explanation.

----------

Suspicions were raised among the ponies when Rainbow Dash later denied the incident that had happened with Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, but there was nothing anypony could do to prove it had happened.  They simply continued with their lives for the next several months, until one day, the forces of chaos were unleashed upon Ponyville.

Twilight Sparkle was quietly studying in her library when she suddenly heard the front door open and shut in quick succession.  She looked over to see Rarity had come in, breathing heavily and holding the door shut with as much of her own force as possible.  "Twilight!" she said.  "Rainbow Dash!  Everywhere!  So many Rainbow Dashes!"

"Huh?" Twilight asked, though Rarity had no time to explain before the door burst open again, knocking her aside, as Applejack galloped into the library.

"We've got an emergency!"  Applejack said.  "The whole town's under siege!  The Rainbow Dash army is tryin' to take over!"

Fluttershy slunk in right after Applejack.  "Oh, my.  It's quite scary out there," she said, moving to curl up in the corner of the room.

Pinkie Pie casually strolled in afterwards.  "Hey, guys!  Why are you all coming in here?  Are we having a party?"

"Everyone slow down!  I need an explanation here!" Twilight shouted.  "Now tell me, what's this about Rainbow Dash?"

"Ah don't know how she did it, but she's made about a hundred more copies of herself!"  Applejack said.  "Now she's tryin' to take over Equestria, sayin' somethin' about a 'Republic of Rainbow Dash'!"

"You must stop her, Twilight.  Personally, I thought TWO Rainbow Dashes was too much," Rarity said.  "Didn't you say you had a de-cloning spell?"

Twilight grimaced.  "I do, but... I don't think Rainbow Dash cloned herself.  Based on what you've all said, I think she's just been busy making babies.  I can't do anything with natural twins."

"Natural twins!?" Rarity spat.  "These babies are twins of their mothers, who are twins of each other!  How is THAT natural!?"

Suddenly, ten Rainbow Dashes arrived at the door.  "All right guys, tie 'em up!" the head one commanded.  "But be gentle.  We want to rule with an iron fist of peace."

With two Rainbow Dashes to counter each pony in the room, it was futile for the girls to resist.  "I don't understand!"  Twilight said.  "Why are you doing this?  And how did you all grow to adulthood so quickly?"

"We're tired of the monarchy.  We're instating a democracy, where every Rainbow Dash has the right to vote.  As for how we grew up so fast..." Rainbow Dash put on her flight goggles.  "Well, we are the fastest fliers in Equestria!  All right, guys, to the brig!"

The Rainbow Dashes tied up the other ponies with rope and began to carry them away.  "EEEEEEEEK!" Fluttershy screamed.

"WHEEEEEEEE!" Pinkie Pie yelled.

"I'M NOT LEARNING ANYTHING ABOUT FRIENDSHIP FROM THIS!" Twilight lamented.

"AH SHOULD BE ENJOYIN' THIS, BUT AH'M NOT!" Applejack noted.

"BUT REALLY, I DON'T WANT TO!  IT'S JUST TOO HARD AND I DON'T LIKE IT THAT WAY!" Rarity screeched.

----------

Princess Celestia remained steadfast at her throne.  In front of her were a thousand Rainbow Dashes, with all of the Equestrian National Guard behind them, restrained with ropes and shackles.  "Give it up, Celestia!" the Rainbow Dash in front said.  "Your entire army has been defeated, and we haven't even broken a sweat!  We're giving you ONE CHANCE to turn the throne over to us peacefully!"

Celestia calmly took a sip of apple juice from her wine glass.  "Rainbow Dash, you are a fool," she said simply.  "Do you really think you were the first pony to think of this plan?"

"You mean revolution?  No.  But I do think I'm the only one who knew how to do it right!"

"Not that plan," Celestia said.  "This one."

All of a sudden, the roof of the castle exploded, causing rubble to rain down from above.  The Rainbow Dash army was safely out of the path of destruction, but the explosion was not their main concern.  Jumping down from the vast hole in the ceiling were ten new alicorns; clones of Celestia.  Through the hole in the ceiling, dozens more Celestia clones looked down at the scene.  None of them looked happy.

"Uh oh," Rainbow Dash said.

----------

"Blue moooon... you saw me standing alooooone..."

It was nighttime, and Applejack was fiddling with a banjo, looking up at the moon.  The entire Rainbow Dash army had been banished there, and little blue specks could still be seen moving around on the surface from this distance.

Big Mackintosh approached his sister.  "Applejack, what--"

"Shh, shh, they're doin' that thing again," Applejack said, pulling out a pair of binoculars.

Every once in a while, the Rainbow Dashes would take positions on the moon to spell out a phrase for the ponies back in Equestria.  Tonight they got together to form the sentence "CELESTIA IS A BUTT FACE."

"You know, Ah don't know why you do, considerin' what she did," Big Mackintosh said.  "But if you miss 'er, why don't you ask Celestia to let you visit 'er?"

"Ah suppose Ah could," Applejack sighed, putting down the binoculars.  "But really, Ah don't want to.  It's just too hard and Ah don't like it that way."

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