Title:           klingon in equestria
Author:          waterapple
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/hEd8AQty
First Edit:      Monday 30th of September 2013 09:33:44 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Monday 30th of September 2013 09:33:44 PM CDT

>Day klingon diplomacy in equestria.
>Be Anon, son of For'chn, klingon warrior.
>Be working on your bird of preys deflector dish.
>It starts glowing, some ptakh must have turned it on.
“Anon to engineering, turn off the mhrgosh-ing deflector dish before it cracks, did you not read my warning message on the control console?”
>A large subspace distortion starts forming around you.
>You do the only honorable thing and charge the anomaly with your mat'leth, hoping that the trinium-carbide of its blade will disrupt it long enough for your ship to move to safety.
>The bright white light from the anomaly overwhelms you as you feel yourself tumbling into it.
 
>Wake up in an opulently furnished room surrounded by some sort of brightly coloured quadrapeds.
>”What is it?”
>”I have no idea”
>”It's waking up!”
>These creatures may be useful, maybe they have a subspace communicator you can use.
>Best use that 'diplomacy' thing that the kirk human showed you at that bar on epsilon-erandi 3
>That guy got all the bitches with it, maybe it'll help you
“What... are you and... where am I?”
>Oh yeah, they'll be begging to join the empire with your mastery of diplonancy
>”Doesn't it know what a pony is?” one of the creatures in the back says
>”We're ponies, and you're in the throne room of canterlot castle.” a brown one in armour says
>That's convenient, you can just wait here to seduce their leader and get a new world for the emipire!
“Where... is your leader? I... need to arrange to contact my ship as... soon as possible”
>”The princesses are in another castle, they're due back in a few days” a white one with red spots says
 
“Very well, who is in... charge while they are... away?”
>The 'pony's look at each other and whisper amongst thenselves
>”He is!” on of them says, pushing a reluctant looking pony forwards
>The others nod and look relieved, murming in agreement as the nervous looking pony approaches you.
>”O-Ok , um what is you name?” he stammers
“I am Anon, Son of For'chn, the chief... engineer of the... klingon starship bab'ln'fiv.”
>”Okay mister Anon, if you'll follow me I'll take you to a guest room to stay in until the princesses get back”
>You arrive at the guest room, a large opulent room typical of a weak decadent civilisation.
>They'll be begging you to conquer them by the time you're done with your diplomacy
 
>You hang around their castle for a while and use lots of pauses in your speech to ensure maximum diplomacy.
>Someone is knocking at the door of your room
>It's some larger ponies
>They say they're the princesses.
>Lay on the pauses extra hard, tell them of the glorious empire.
>They are all over you, bitches can't resist pauses.
>Turns out they're just a bunch of primatives.
>Teach them to build a subspace beacon, Feddy ship arrives and some bald human beams down.
>He tries to talk the ponies out of joining the empire, but your irresistable pauses have made them loyal allies of the klingon empire.
“Human... could you... please... contact... the... empire.”
>He cant resist the skills taught to you by histories best diplomat and calls up the high council.
>Tell them of your conquest
>They send a colony ship over, meanwhile bearded human second in command seduces a bunch of ponies.
>Ponies he seduced crash their ship into the moon in a drunken joyride.
>Feddies have to get rescued by colony ship, lose much political face.
>Today was a glorious day.