Title: not exactly pony but funny in pony context Author: unwantedmlp Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/u02K6dJP First Edit: Thursday 28th of February 2013 11:57:57 AM CDT Last Edit: Thursday 28th of February 2013 11:57:57 AM CDT >Be 21 >Girlfriend's 19 >Been dating for months now >This guy named Joe comes out of fucking nowhere into my life >He's my new coworker at my company >Find out he has no money, no place of residence. >Moved here for the job and can no longer afford his hotel >Decide to open up to him >Keep him in my apartment for weeks >Bro is pretty cool >We play the vidya, drinks beers, watch football >This continues for months >Afterwards, find out girlfriend is pregnant >By all tradition, I have to marry her now. >One night, eating out at dinner with wife >Joe stayed late at the office for some overtime >I pop the question to my wife >She admits she was raped by Joe and the baby isn't mine >She isn't ready to make a commitment after being violated >Go home in a fucking rage. >Throw out all Joe's shit >Gonna fucking kill Joe when he gets home. >Joe gets home about 1 a.m. >As soon as he opens the door, I fucking punch him in his bastard face >Eye swells up like a boll of cotton >He swings at me >Dodge and sweep his leg >He falls down >In a giant fucking rage now >Go to my room, grab my handgun out of my drawer >Go back to confront Joe >Joe jumps in his car and fucking hightails it out of there >I haven't seen or heard from him since >On the phone a month later with my brother >He finally asks why I've been so depressed >I tell him that if it hadn't been for cotton-eye Joe >I'd been married a long time ago http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTBkBZty2CM >Where did you come from, where did you go-- >Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?