Title:           His Title Ruins It *Denvernon*
Author:          unwantedmlp
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/SCyzpB3d
First Edit:      Wednesday 20th of March 2013 10:30:32 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Wednesday 20th of March 2013 10:30:32 AM CDT

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http://pastebin.com/u/denvernon
no obvious RIGHT HERE bin post so here it goes
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>Day liars in Equestria
>You are Applejack.
>And you're not really made, just a little annoyed. Annoyed with Anon.
>He promised to help you make some deserts for Nightmare night today. You asked him if he could bake, and he said he'd make a dutch apple cake that would melt your face off. Whatever that means.
> But you haven't seen him since he told you he was having Rarity over for dinner a few days ago. As far as you know, he's probably cooped up in his house drinking wine and eating cheese.
>And now that you think of it... Where the hay is everp0ny?
>The streets are almost completely empty save for the occasional stranger you see stumbling around.
>That's it you're going to go Anons house and drag his flank back the Sweet Apple Acres to hive you a hoof... Hand.
>It doesn't take long for you to get to Anons house.
>You walk up to and put your ear to the door to see if you can hear anyp0ny.
>*ooooooh*
>What was that? Sounded like somp0ny.... groaning?
>What if it's Anon!?
>In a panic you turn around and buck down Anons door before running in to save him.
>"Anon!? Are ya'll right! I hear somp0ny moaning!
>What you see on the inside of Anons house is something that you don't think you'll ever see again as long as you live.
>Scattered across Anons floor is practically everp0ny in town.
>They're all just laying on the floow and on Anons furniture with a dazed look on their faces.
What the-
>Then the smells hits you.
>The musk of a hundred mares fills your nostrils and causes your pupils to constric.
D- did Anon rut all these mares?
>"UAWAAAAA~!"
>Is- is that Rainbow Dash??
>You make your way into the kitchen being careful not to step on anyp0ny.
>What you see next is just one more thin in Anons house that you will never forget.
>All of your friends except Rarity are all laying around Anon's kitchen with their eyes rolled back in their head and their tongues hanging out.
>"A-non~ oh... my gosh it's... it's"
>"No. You lie! YOU LIIIIIE!!"
>Rainbow then collapses with the same look on her face as everp0ny else.
>And... Oh Clestia, what the buck!
>Between Dash's legs you can see somthing seeping down her plot and onto the floor.
>On the table are over a dozen plates of food. And even more on the counter near the stove.
>Right now Anon has a plate with apple crumbles on it.
Anon what in Equestria is going on here?
>"Aj! Here taste this!"
Anon ah don-
>He sticks some sort of creamed spinach into your mouth before you can finish.
>The taste is indescribable. It just sweet enough and the salt from the breading in it balances it out.
>Just like Rainbow your knees begin to knock and your eyes roll into the back of your head.
>You feel a little sad after you swallow.
An-Anon... Wh-... where did you- learn to cook like that?
>"What do you think? I havn't cook Gratin in awhile."
It's- it'sss tha... the best thing I've ever eaten.
>"LIAR!"
>He sticks another spoonful of what you think is bell peppers and zucchini.
>The taste hits you again like before. Except this time you pass out.
 
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 Anon the Insecure Gourmet Thread Bumper
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