Title:           Anon Lifts Part 11, 2/2
Author:          thegeman
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/XsdT7utq
First Edit:      Tuesday 2nd of June 2015 12:44:13 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Monday 22nd of June 2015 07:58:14 AM CDT

SUNDAY, WEEK 3 / 4, PART 11 2/2
 
>Anon the “hero”
>...
>Nah, that’s dumb.
>Though everyone else disagrees with that thought.
>Ever since you got home from fighting that dragon, Pinkie and Rarity have been treating you like the best thing since riced thread.
>You’re still trying to wrap your mind around that that’s a thing here.
>So here you are, trying to relax on a couch and watch TV, but those two ponies just have to keep reminding you how gosh darn ‘amazing’ you are.
“Pinkie, can you get me the remote?”
>Pinkie jumps on the couch next you, remote in hoof.
>”Let me change the channel for you.” She says.
“No, I just wanted to change the vol-”
>But she already changed the channel to some sort of nature documentary.
>Before you can object, Pinkie jumps up to do something else.
“I don’t want to learn about seaponies though…”
>She’s immediately replaced as Rarity trots up to you.
>”Can I do anything for my big, strong hero?” She says, fluttering her eyelashes
“No, I’m fine.”
>Rarity rests her hoof on your thigh.
>”Oh, but I insist.” Rarity says, putting extra emphasis on the last word.
>You gulp, her hoof rubbing you gently.
“J-just a water.”
>She looks disappointed for a second, but then backs off and fulfills your request.
>”Anon.”
>You jump up at the sudden voice, and turn to look at the culprit.
“Jeeeez…” You breath out once you see who it is, as you slowly relax back into the couch.
”Maud.”
>”Anon.” She says again.
“How long have you been sitting there?”
>Maud’s turquoise eyes seem stare into your very soul, judging, learning, contemplating.
>”A while.”
>You sigh.
“Can I help you?” You ask.
>”Can you sign my rock?”
>She pushes a small rock and a sharpie across the couch.
>You look at it for a moment, trying to convince yourself this isn’t weird.
>After scribbling your name on it and giving the rock back, Maud gets up from the couch and begins walking away
>”I’m going to sell this on ePony.” She says to herself, before disappearing from view.
>You’re going to be under her bed for that later.
>After a few minutes, the two ponies still present begin looking visibly bored.
>Pinkie suddenly launches herself from her spot and lands on your lap, rests her hoofs on your shoulders and begins bouncing on your lap.
>”Hey Nonny, wanna do something? Huh? Huh?”
“Pinkie, y-you’re-”
>Her rump pounds against your crotch, every bounce making it harder to fight against a rising urge.
“I-I’m a little tired right now.” You say, your left hand clenched on the fabric of the sofa and the other on Pinkie’s back, trying to control her ‘playful’ bouncing.
>”Come on! After all that this morning, you’re just gunna sit here?” She says, before slamming her rump on your crotch and rubbing it in.
>You pull her in against your chest with your right arm, and stop clenching the sofa to brush her mane.
“I’d rather do this.”
>Pinkie closes her eyes and murmurs softly as she pushes against you, rubbing her head against your chest.
>Her incredible warmth spreads across your body, putting a smile on your face as it warms you to the core.
>Your right hand glides up and down her back, and you enjoy feeling her velvety smooth fur, run through your fingers.
>Pinkie almost seems to purr as you lightly scratch behind her ear, it flicking as you change to idly scratch her fleecy poofy mane.
>It’s like the best plushie ever.
>Her tail gets dislodged from under her and it swishes around, brushing against your legs.
>”By the way, I was doing that on purpose.” She says, before lightly bouncing on your crotch again.
>You lightly shush her.
“Don’t ruin a good moment.”
>You feel her nod against your chest, and you close your eyes.
>”Ahem.” You hear someone clear their throat.
>Can’t relax for 5 minutes, you son of a bi-
“Oh hello Rarity.”
>She grumbles something and you see her face turn a light shade of red.
“I didn’t quite catch that.”
>Rarity doesn’t say anything, she instead trots over and jumps up to your left.
>She walks in a small circle 3 times, presumably to try and find a comfy spot.
>What it does is nearly give you a heart attack.
>She finds the right spot, and plops her butt down right next to you, resting her back against your side.
>Pinkie whines when you take your arm off her head to grab Rarity by her belly, pulling her tight to you.
“Sharing is caring, Pinkie.”
>You rest your head on Rarity’s, careful of the horn, and she gasps as you open your hand wide to cover her tummy, rubbing her gently, your ring finger making a circle around her belly button.
>Rarity muffles a moan as you nibble the tip of her ear, her tail flicking around.
>Pinkie’s leg begins to kick a little as she begins to melt in your grasp.
>The collective warmth from the three of you makes you feel like you’re being covered with the worlds fluffiest electric blanket.
>You lean back, taking the two ponies with you, and groan.
“I could get used to this.”
>...
>”Okay! So I was thinking-”
>Pinkie says as she launches herself off you, kicking you in the dick, front flipping and landing on her feet halfway across the room.
>You let go of Rarity, and she falls on her back in a daze as you keel over onto the floor and groan, holding your privates.
>You vow to promote them to general if they survive, and Pinkie seems unphased by the situation.
>-that we should do something fun!”
>Pinkie finally seems to realize what she did, and stares at the two laying forms for a second.
>She brings a hoof to her mouth and stifles a laugh.
>When you look up at her, your scrunched up, tense looking face breaks Pinkie as she falls on her back and begins howling with laughter.
>Her feet kick in the air as her forehooves hug her rapidly rising chest, and you’re almost afraid she’ll burst a lung.
>”Your face- And Rarity- And your nuts- And my hoof- Oh it’s priceless!” She tries to say 10 sentences at once before breaking out into another fit of laughter.
>A minute later, the laughter dies out, and Pinkie wipes a tear from her face before helping you up.
>Rarity is just now sitting up as you shakily stand up.
>She still looks dazed and confused.
>”Where’s my cuddle toy?”
“Is that all I am to you?” You say, face straight.
>”N-no, I didn’t mean…”
>Your eyes bore into her as she sweats profusely, stuttering over every word.
“Don’t oppress me shitlord.” You say, monotone.
>”A-Anon…” She says nervously
>You smirk and a small snort escapes you.
>Rarity furrows her brow in annoyance, and crosses her forehooves.
>”Don’t play with me like that Anonymous.”
“I’m sorry, but it’s all in good fun.” You say, as you ruffle her hair, much to her annoyance.
>Rarity uses her magic to fix her hair as Maud walks into the room.
>”The market for signed rocks wasn’t as big as I thought.”
>She almost seems to be ready to shed a tear, but she shakes it away.
>An awkward silence fills the room.
>”What is this world coming too?” Maud asks.
>Everyone breathes a sigh of relief as a knock on the door breaks it the stillness of the room.
>”I’ll go get it!” Pinkie states.
>”I’ll join you.” Rarity says, and follows the hopping pony to the front door.
>You watch them fall out of sight, then plop down on the couch.
”Alrighty, watcha wanna do?” You say, addressing Maud.
>”Have any music?”
“Do you wanna listen to rock and ro-”
>”I wanna listen to rock and roll.”
“Okay, well I think I have-” You say, starting to get up.
>A small, nearly perfect circular rock rolls along the ground past your feet, until it bumps into the edge of the couch.
>You look at her with slight confusion.
>”It’s transient humor.” She says blankly.
>At least that’s right.
>”Nonny~,” Pinkie says in a singsong voice, “it’s for you!”
>The dynamic duo walks in with another pony you don’t recognize.
>He had a light beige coat with dark brown hair, almost black, and wore a blue hat with the words “messenger” on it.
>”Greeting, uh, Mr,” He squints at the letter he holds in his hoof, “Anoonymoose, weird name,” He comments to himself.
“Can I help you?” You say, tired, your eyes boring into his very soul.
>Or something, he seems unaffected.
>“I have, uh, a personal delivery, for uh, you.”
>Sure hope that doesn’t get annoying.
>You take the letter from his outstretched hoof and open it.
“Do you have to stay here?” You ask.
>”Yes, uh, I have to, uh, take your letter response.”
>You resign to it, and read the letter.
Dear Mr. Anonymous.
 
You’re formally invited to receive the hero’s reward at the town celebration happening at 5:00PM today.
 
>You look at the clock.
>4:03
>Back to the letter.
 
The town would like to thank you for your efforts in saving our town, and if you could spare the time, come down and grace us with your presence.
 
>Ehhh.
>Last part is kinda weird.
 
P.S Attendance is mandatory.
 
Sincerely, Mayor Mare.
 
>Fuck.
>”Now if, uh, I could get your uh, letter...” The pony trails off.
>”Here ya go Nonny, fresh from the paper farm.” Pinkie says, dropping off a paper and pencil in front of you before zipping back beside Rarity.
>Seems you’re not getting out of this.
>You sit up and write that you’ll come, that this is a bit much, and that you don’t want the celebration to be too big.
>You tap the end of the eraser against your lower lip in thought.
“Hey, what’s your name?” You ask the beige pony.
>”Oh!” He seems surprised, “uh, Cocoa Mania.” He says, and salutes..
>Name doesn’t seem to have a significance with his profession.
>”I know what, uh, you’re thinking.” He says, lowering his hoof. “I uh, make chocolate mostly.”
>Pinkie drapes her hoof over his neck and pulls him in close.
>”I think we’re going to be VERY good friends.” She says, licking her lips.
>Cocoa starts visibly sweating, and you say out loud what you write.
“Cocoa… was… a… cun-”
>You get smacked in the back of the head by Rarity, who gives you a stern look.
>”That’s no way to act Anonymous!” She says, stomping her hoof on the ground.
“Right right, I’m sorry.” You say, scratching it out and writing ‘Cocoa was okay. 7.8/10.”
>”You’ve been acting off ever since we got back, what’s up with you?” Rarity asks, sounding genuinely concerned.
>You try to laugh it off.
“Just been a little tired, that’s all.”
>In truth, you’re just not used to getting this much praise.
>It’s somehow making you depressed.
>You didn’t even know that was possible.
>”Well, I’ll uh, take this and go, I uh, guess.” Cocoa says, not waiting for a response before he’s out the door.
>...
“I still don’t think this is needed.”
>”Don’t worry Anonymous, ponies will forget all about this in a couple days.” Rarity says.
“Oh? Have you two ever been invited to this hero award ceremony thing??” You say, putting hero in air-quotes.
>”No, I don’t think so.” Pinkie says, scratching her head.
>”The elements are underappreciated.” Rarity says.
>Assholes, the lot of them.
>”But we shouldn’t be complaining, it’s your special event!” Rarity says, “How should we prepare?”
“Well, it did say hint was a formal event.”
>”So I’ll make you a suit, I think a black one would compliment you greatly,” Rarity says, getting excited, “it would just scream, ‘Anonymous’!” She says, spreading her hooves across the air.
“That would be awfully generous of you.”
>”Darling, I’m the element of generosity, I have that label for a reason.”
“Well thank you, I’d be really gratefu-”
>”Of course we’d need to take off all your clothes for measurements.~”
>Son of a bitch, you knew there’d be a catch.
“And you can do this in under an hour?”
>”Ha, she can do it in under half an hour!” Pinkie says, getting all up in your grill.
>Oh no you didn’t.
>”Well, I don’t know about that-”
“20 minutes.”
>”10!” Pinkie says, slamming her hoofs on the table.
>”Pinkie!”
“5.” You say, curious to see how far she’ll go.
“3!” She gets right up in your face.
>”PINKIE!”
“1.” You whisper.
>”Ha, jokes on you, she’s already done!” Pinkie states, holding up a full black suit.
“Wait, what?” You look at Rarity.
>”I… may have already made one for you before.”
“Then why did you need my measurements?”
>”Do you really not know why?”
>It takes you a second.
“Naughty, naughty pony.” You say.
>”Yes, but I believe we can put that behind us.”
“I don’t know,” You say, cracking your knuckles, “I think you need a punishment.”
>”Anonymous, I can still edit your sui-”
“Too late!” You say, before tackling her.
>”Anonymous!”
>You pin her to the ground and wrap your hand around her horn.
>”Not again!” She cries.
>Rarity’s little hooves flail uselessly as you begin pumping her horn.
>Her protests become unintelligible mumbo jumbo as you stroke her horn with inhuman speed, putting your previous attempt to shame.
>The sparks flying and electricity shooting around shocks your hair into standing on it’s ends, and almost seems to make it glow a golden yellow.
>Pinkie, who was previously a bystander jumps in.
>”Mind if I?”
“Feel free.”
>You let go and Pinkie takes Rarity’s horn in her mouth and begins bobbing up and down.
>The second she does that, you yank Rarity’s tail.
>A deafeningly loud moan escapes her lips, as more magical electricity begins shooting around, flying around more rapidly as it has to escape Pinkie’s mouth.
>The TV is rapidly changing channels with a slight static look to it, books are flipping pages, the clock numbers are moving around the clock hands, and the magic has turned Pinkies fur white and her hair yellow.
>A magic bolt resembling a shooting star shoots Pinkie’s head off, and Rarity’s head falls between Pinkie’s legs
“AND THIS!”
>You grab her horn and position it.
“IS TO GO,” You tease the tip, “EVEN FURTHER,” Push forwards, “BEYOND!” And shove Rarity’s horn into Pinkie’s funhole straight to the hilt.
>The cries of pleasure from the two of them are as loud as your maniacal laughter as her horn erupts.
>A great light illuminates the room, nearly blinding you.
>Touching Rarity, the blast from her shoots both you and Pinkie back.
>You hit the side of the couch while Pinkie gets blasted halfway across the living room, and you feel a power surging through you as the light fades.
>It seems your hair grew 4 times it’s size, in length and width, and seems to be emitting magical energy of its own.
>Pinkie has wings.
>A Rarity is laying in a puddle of magical juice, tongue hanging out.
>That was a censorship for all the kiddies.
>No wait, that really is magic juice.
>”Anon…” Pinkie moans.
>Oh right, shit, she took the brunt of the blast.
>”My kitty feels… weird…” She says, hands between her legs.
“Pinkie, are you-” You say, crawling over to her.
>She takes your hand and shoves it between her legs, crying out as juice shoots out, becoming limp.
>It feels weird, and you sit on you knees and bring your hand up close to examine it.
>Something cold and resembling the brilliant night sky covers your hand.
>Smells like blueberries.
>You look at Pinkie, who’s panting heavily with yellow and white fur and wings, Rarity, tiny sparks shooting out of her horn lying in magic juice, and you, hair long enough to put Celestia to shame.
>Strange how all that happened in the timespan of 5 minutes.
>While distracted, you get tackled back by Pinkie, a crazed look in her eyes.
>”I,” She breathes out, “I need more!” She says, before locking lips with you.
>A couple seconds later, she breaks the kiss, and says, “I need your sexy monkey body,” as her hooves start exploring your crotch region.
>As hot as this could be, you’re having trouble not laughing after her saying that.
>Still, this isn’t how you want this to happen, not while being controlled by some horny magic.
>You place a hand on her head and another on her back, pulling her close and forcing her head to your chest.
“Calm down Pinkie, be calm…”
>You whisper gentle words as she breathes heavily, cooing as you slowly rub her head.
>A few minutes her breathing returns to normal, and she looks up at you with hazy eyes.
>”N-Nonny, what happened? My memory’s fuzzy.”
>She’s half lidded in a tired way, and you feel the sudden urge to hug her extremely tightly.
>You resist the urge, for now, and smile.
“Nothing, just a little accident. “You say, rustling her poofy mane, “All that matters is that you’re okay.”
>Pinkie smiles back, “Hehe, your hair looks silly. And your eyebrows are gone.”
“Yeah, well, your wings look weird.”
>She looks stunned, and whips her head around to look at her back, and gasps.
>”Redbull works…” Pinkie whispers.
>You both turn as you hear a grunt from Rarity as she stands up, panting.
>”I won’t be able to use magic for a week now…” She complains, and looks at you, “there will be consequences Anonymous.”
“Yeah, well, you better clean up, you gotta little somethin right here.” You point to an arbitrary area on your cheek as the entire half of her face is covered in a starlight liquid.
>Wordlessly, she grabs your suit in her mouth and heads upstairs.
>”I should probably join her.” Pinkie says, before you let her go and she heads upstairs.
>10 minutes later, you hair has returned to normal colour but is still the same length.
>Pinkie comes down pouty as her hair and fur also returned to normal, and she lost her wings.
>Her poutiness immediately disappears as she see’s your still long hair, and she bursts into laughter.
“Yeah yeah, I just hope Rarity can give haircuts.”
>”I don’t know, I kind of like that look on you,” Pinkie says, her laughter starting to die, “you look so super.”
“Mhm,” You look at the puddle Rarity left, “Be a ‘dear’ and clean up that mess.”
>”Wow, that’s the first servant thing I’ve done in a while.” Pinkie comments.
“Let’s just say I’m a forgiving master.”
>”You just stroked Rarity’s horn until it created a big BANG!” She emphasizes that last word with a jump.
“Semantics.” You say, waving your hand dismissively, and Pinkie starts laughing again.
>4:45 hits, and your hair has been cut and your suit is on.
>”Why’d you bring Nonny’s suit upstairs anyway Rarity?” Pinkie asks.
“Yeah, I was wondering that too.” You comment, while straightening your tie.
>Rarity pulls Pinkie close and whispers into her ear.
>Pinkie brings a hoof to her mouth and gasps, before giggling like a madman with Rarity.
“What? What?!” You ask.
>”O-oh *snort* nothing, you wouldn’t care.” Pinkie says.
“No, I think I would.”
>”Oh, look at the time,” Rarity says, looking at her blank hoof, “we should probably get going early.” And she rushes out the door with Pinkie while you raise your hand in confusion.
“I HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW!” You shout.
>Silence fills the room, and you stand there with your arms lifted for a couple seconds before they fall and smack against your sides.
>Before you head out, you go to the bathroom and splash some water on your face, and adjust yourself in the mirror.
>You stare at yourself for a moment.
“...Fucking ponies.”
>With that, you head out.
>Your walk seems to be mostly uneventful, after all it’s just a wa-
>”Anonymous!”
>You suppose that was wishful thinking.
>”My purse! He stole my purpose!” Some motherly woman shouts at you, pointing at a male pony donning a ski mask and black and white sweater.
>Jesus.
“HEY!” You shout, voice booming.
>The crook stops to look at you.
>Upon seeing you, his eyes widen and pupils dilate.
“Shtop it.” You say, frowning.
>He immediately drops the purse and bends down, putting his hooves over his head.
>”Don’t harm me hero sir! I won’t do it again, I promise!” He says.
>You walk over and pick up the purse.
“What’s your name?”
>”Crooked Snatch.”
>You burst out laughing.
>”Wh-what’s so funny?” He demands to know, though fear is heard in his voice.
“Nothing,” You manage to get out between laughter, “I guess that double meaning doesn’t exist in this world.”
>”Just you see, one day people will fear the name ‘Crooked Snatch’!”
>You start laughing again.
>”I-I’ll be the villain to your hero!” He shouts at you as you walk back to the mother.
>What kind of parent names their kid that anyway?
>Seems like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
“Here’s your purse back.” You say, kneeling down to give it to her.
>”Oh thank you!” She says, before jumping up and kissing you.
>Really hard.
>And long…
>You grab her by the sides and pull her off, slightly cringing.
>She licks her lips seductively, and says, “Come to my house sometime for your reward.” And walks off
>You don’t even know who that was.
>Not 10 seconds after you begin walking off someone calls your name.
“Hero! Hero!”
>A skinny blue pony runs up to you, a jar in hand.
>Mouth?
>Wait, how was he talking?
>”Can you open this pickle jar for me?” He says, holding it up.
>You look at it for a second before hesitantly taking it from him.
>Is this really all he wants?
>He watches you very intently as you place your hand on the jar lid.
>As you begin turning, he begins panting.
>Once the lid pops off, he cries out and faints, falling to his side.
>You’re unsure of what to do, and look around for some help.
>You eventually decide to just place the jar on the ground next to him, and you hurriedly walk away until your out of sight.
>At least that’s over with.
“Mr. Anonymous hero sir!”
>God fucking dammit, you think to yourself as a small red filly runs up to you.
>”My kitty is trapped in the tree.”
“Alright,” You sigh, “take me there.”
>She leads you to a tall oak tree, which you spot a black cat sitting precariously on a branch near the top of the tree.
>You sigh again, and begin climbing the tree.
>”By the way, he doesn’t like strangers.” The filly calls out.
“Great. Good to know.”
>You reach the top, and wrap yourself around the branch.
“C’mere littl’ puss puss…”
>It meows at you, before going further down the branch.
“Come on, come here, come here.”
>It doesn’t move.
“Come here you piece of shit, goddamn I fucking hate you do it you piece of shit.”
>Meow.
“FFFFFF”
>As you’re crawling along the branch to the cat, the combined weight makes it snap.
>You fall a couple feet and the back of your suit gets caught on a branch.
>The cat falls, meows and runs away, the red filly chasing after it.
“Wait, wait! No don’t… aw…” You yell for her attention, but she’s long gone.
>You see a black patch from your suit lightly glide down, torn off.
>Great quality Rarity.
>Your feet hang down, and you cross your arms, furrow your brow, frown and grumble as you see a blue pony flying towards you.
>This is your life now.
>”Hey Anon, how’s it hanging?” The pony asks, stifling a laugh.
“Hey Rainbow, still as clever as always I see.” You say, expression unchanged.
>”Aw, is that anyway to talk to somepony who’s about to help you get down?” She floats forwards, “Or maybe I could leave you up there, I do get a good look at those abs.”
>You feel so objectified right now.
“I’m sorry, please help?”
>”Well since you asked so nicely, there’s a branch right there that you can grab, and if you place your foot on this one, you cou-”
>Her instructions are cut short as the branch snaps and you plunge towards the ground.
>You hit off several branches and you groan as you land with a thump.
“Aagh,” You grunt as Rainbow floats down, using all of her willpower to not laugh, “can I take back my apology?”
>”Nope, I get to hold that over you for forever.” She says, and giggles, “and I thought the ‘hit every branch on the way down’ was just an expression.”
>She helps you up, and you stretch your back in order to unfuck your bones.
>Her expression changes to confusion as she see’s your back.
>”What’s that there f…”
“What do you mean?”
>Rainbow seems to ponder something for a second, but stays quiet.
>”Nothing. Your little ‘celebration’ should be starting soon.” She sounded sarcastic after she said celebration.
“Something that matter with it?” You ask, though you’re sure she would continue regardless.
>”I mean, I’ve done so much for this town,” She starts to complain as you walk towards the event, her flying next to you, “I’ve saved lives, baby life’s! Baby life's Anon!
“That is something.”
>”Not only that, but I’m a freaking element of harmony, I have a gem that rivals Celestia herself in power, yet I’ve never gotten this celebration before?” She crosses her arms in frustration, “it’s not fair.”
“I would trade places with you if I could. I don’t like being a hero.”
>”Maybe I should fight a dragon…” She mumbles to herself.
“Speaking of being a hero, why is everyone in this town so useless?” You complain, “I’ve had to open one too many pickle jars today.”
>It was only one, but that’s still one too many.
>”I’ve noticed that too. Did you know there’s like 5 hills in the town that go almost straight down?” She demonstrates how steep they are with her hoof, “Baby strollers and carriages fall down those 10 times a day!”
“Well good thing you’re here, what would we do without you.”
>She turns a light shade of red, but then shakes it off.
>”Yeah, I am pretty awesome aren’t I?” She hits you lightly in the arm.
>You chuckle at it, but then notice something.
“Oh shit, we’re here.”
>You’re suddenly town square, and before you stands a grand stage with a podium and microphone, and a couple hundred of ponies talking amongst themselves waiting for the event to start.
>”When did that happen?” Rainbow asks.
“I didn’t even know these many ponies lived here.”
>”Hey, I’m going to go find our other friends, kill ‘em dead on stage alright?” Rainbow says, floating away.
>You wave at each other goodbye as you head up the back of the stage.
>You’re not entirely sure where to go, but you assume it’s there.
>”Mr. Anonymous!”
>Mayor Mare stands in front of you, looking old as usual.
>She blushes, “My Anonymous, stare like that and I might think you like old woman like me.”
>What?
“Uh- So is this the right place?”
>”Huh? Oh yes, of course, the event is about to start, right this way.” She motions with her hoof, and you follow.
>She walks in front of you, a wiggle in her hips.
>It might have been sexy on some people, but her rear is saggy with wrinkles and cellulite.
>You shudder, and advert your eyes.
>”Now Anonymous, you’re going to stand to the side while I give my speech. When I give you the cue, come up to the podium and accept your reward, okay?”
“Sure, but I’m not the best with crowds.” You say, scratching the back of your head.
>”Nonsense, you’re amazing with crowds.” She states.
“But-”
>”Out we go!” She shouts, before kicking you past the curtain and out onto the stage.
“Woah!” You say as you get out on stage, and everyone’s eyes fall on you.
“I-uh…” Your mind turns blank as every eye is on you.
>...
>”Greetings everypony!”
>Oh thank god.
>Mayor Mare stands at the podium, papers in front as she addresses the entire crowd.
>”We’re here today to recognize the efforts of a certain homosapien that protected our dear city…”
>During her speech, you try to concentrate on not dying, you stand as still and straight as you can, head up looking forwards, holding your hand in front of you resting against your lap.
>Despite the Mayor talking, you can see almost all the ponies staring at you instead.
>You start sweating, and tug at the neck of your suit.
>”...He risked his life for us, Mr. Anonymous!” She shouts into the mic.
>The roar of applause shocks you into reality, and you can still hear Pinkie’s screams of excitement over it.
>You gulp, and nervously nod and wave your hand.
>”Anonymous, please come here and accept your reward!”
>Another roar of applause (clopping?), and you walk over to the podium, as stiff as a board and stoic as a rock.
>At least you try to be, and your expression shows clear uncomfort to any nearby.
>”From all of us in Ponyville, we want to gift you with the key to the city.” A stallion dressed in a black suit of his own hands places purple pillow with a golden key on it next to Mayor Mare.
>She motions for you to come down, and you kneel down to meet her.
>”It’s a skeleton key,” she whispers, “come by my home anytime.” She winks.
>At least she tries to wink, it just looks pained.
“I-I think I’ll have to refuse such a generous gift.” You say into the microphone.
>”Look at that, such a modest gentlemen.” Mayor Mare shouts into the microphone, before sliding the key into your suit pocket while you’re distracted.
>You’ll probably just sell it later.
>Her words create another round of applause.
>One pony, you think it’s Rainbow, yells speech.
>It doesn’t take long before the entire crowd is yelling it.
“I d-don’t think I should.” You say, sweating profusely.
>You’re lucky the suit is black.
>Pit stains are attractive, right?
>”SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH!”
>”COME OOON!” Some man yells incredibly loudly.
“O-Okay, I’ll talk.”
>The crowd yells in happiness, and takes a minute to settle down.
>Silence overtakes the stage.
>Your mind goes blank.
>Come on, think of something!
“H-hello, I am Anonymous.”
>”WOOOOO!” One pony yells.
“Thanks Pinkie.” You say, getting a laugh out of the crowd.
>The laugh makes you feel a little better, but you’re still unsure.
>You look over the crowd, and see your 6 friends, the elements of harmony.
>You feel a little solemn that you haven’t been around most of them recently.
>When you first arrived, the town just dumped you on the 6 like they do with all their problems.
>Still, they happily accepted and worked together to adjust you to this world.
>It wasn’t easy, and they used up a lot of their free time for it.
>If it wasn’t for them, chances are you wouldn’t be in this position.
>For better or for worse, you can see the crowd getting impatient.
>You look at them
>Some wave, some nod at you, Pinkie with her foam finger, and they’re all smiling.
>You still haven’t really repaid them for what for you.
>Why not start now?
>You take in a deep breath, and visualize the crowd, or rather, don’t.
>In your mind, the only ones there are the six.
>Just you, and the elements.
“This celebration, I’ve never had anything like it.” You start off, “I’ve never been recognized for anything, nor have I done really anything that needs to be recognized.”
>You scratch the back of your head.
”In truth, what I did, I don’t deserve to be the only one that gets credit for it, nor do I really deserve all the credit.”
>You look straight at them, and they seem to be giving you confused looks.
”My accomplishment was only possible because of the friendship I was given, the help I was given, from you.” You point at the six of them.
“In a new world where I don’t belong, they made me feel like I do belong to this new world. I may have fun at your expense sometimes, and we may not always get along, and we may not see each other that often, but I am eternally grateful for what you’ve done.”
>They looked shocked, and you swear they may have a tear in their eye.
“They’ve done more for me than anyone has ever done, and they’ve done more not only for this town, but this country, no, this world, then I could ever do, as the elements of harmony.”
”Twilight, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, you deserve this ceremony far more than I do.”
>Silence falls over the audience as you think of what to say next.
>”Gaaaay.” Somebody yells over the silence.
>The audience bursts into laughter, and you yourself have to stifle a chuckle.
“Oh shut up,” You say between laughter, “I give this gift over to the elements of harmony, that’s all.”
>You start to walk forward, and begin raising your arms, holding the key, while the audience applauds.
>You swear you hear Rarity yell stop, but you don’t know why she would.
>As your arms stretch as high into the air as possible at the max of applauds, you hear a rip.
>Wait…
>What?
>Your suit seemingly explodes off you, small pieces of cloth flying everywhere, leaving you completely topless.
>The applause transitions quickly into whistling as you back up in confusion and embarrassment, into the edge of the podium.
>The edge catches onto something on your pants, and they too explode off.
>You’re left there, in front of hundreds of females (and males you suppose), shirtless and pantless.
>Though for some reason, there seem be a tsunami of a liquid heading straight for the stage, combined with a deafening noise you can only describe as a high decibel ‘splash’.
>Hm.
>That’s strange.
>You put your right hand on your heart and left hand into a salute as the wave makes its way toward you.
>Closing your eyes, the wave hits, washing away the stage.
---
>Watching the news, apparently the next town over got hit with a flood of unidentified liquid.
>You chuckle to yourself as Maud walks into the room.
>After that little splash, you were found saluting under a pile of lumber, unharmed, and you headed home while everyone cleaned up the mess, including Pinkie and Rarity.
>That left just you and Maud.
>And you’re still pantless and shirtless.
>This is your last attempt at seduction.
>You stand up, and get into a superhero pose in front of her.
“Maud, I think you know what needs to happen.”
>Be direct as possible, that’s what Papa always told you.
>”...You’re out of rock soup.”
>You’re a fucking liar Papa.
>Flopping down on the couch, you groan as you rub your eyes and forehead in frustration and defeat.
>”What’s wrong Anonymous?”
>Fuck it, might as well tell her.
>”Are you embarrassed that you were nude on stage?”
>Well, you weren’t naked, but…
“No that’s not it.”
“Seduction. I was trying to ‘break’ you, per se. You’re too damn stoic.”
>She looks at you blankly.
“All the other ponies, they react to me so wildly,” You explain, “Yet you just… don’t care.”
>”Oh.”
“I was hoping I could get you to react. I failed.”
>”What are you talking about? I was reacting.”
“...Come again?”
>”I’ve cultimated several times uncontrollably ever since I came here. It’s been difficult to hide.”
“Wassat?”
>”Can you not tell how excited I am right now?” She says.
>You examine her face closely.
“...Sure?”
>”I was hoping you would like me too. That makes me happy.”
“You really show it.”
>”What now?”
“It’s not good enough,” You look at her, and smile, “I want to see you react.”
>You take a step towards her, and she remains unmoving.
“Let’s see if I can’t change that stoic manner into a classic ahegao face.”
>You pick her up and carry her to your bedroom bridal style.
>Once there, you tear off her dress.
>You can see her cutie mark finally, a rock cut like a diamond.
”I wonder how much you really like rocks…”
…
>You failed
>Turns out you’re not a sex god.
>Her expression was unchanging throughout the whole thing.
>”That was quite satisfactory.” She says, putting her dress back on.
“Yeah yeah…” You say, putting your pant on.
>Is this what you’ve been building up to this entire time?
>All of your effort, for this?
>A blank face with the only feedback ‘satisfactory’?
>Was everything for naught?
>You glance at her.
>SHE’S SMILING
“WOOOO!”
>You raise your arms in the air in run out the room and down the stairs yelling in triumph.
>Right into Pinkie and Rarity.
“WOOooo…”
>”Anonymous, why are you yelling?” Rarity asks.
>”And why are your pants on the ground!?” Pinkie asks, your pants fallen off, staring at your no-no.
*splash*
>God dammit.
>You pull up your pants.
>”Perhaps a shirt as well?” Rarity asks, getting a nosebleed.
“Okay that’s asking a lot.”
>”It’s asking for one thing.”
“I mean, you probably want me to wear pants as well.”
>”You’re doing that already.”
“And now you want me to take on extra responsibilities.”
>”I-”
>”Hello Pinkie.”
>”Hey Maudy!”
>Pinkie’s there to meet Maud at the bottom of the stairs.
>”We gotta go now, you need to head back to the farm tomorrow.” Pinkie says, sad.
>”Oh. That’s bad.”
>Maud looks at you.
>”I had fun Anonymous. I hope to meet you again someday.”
“Likewise.”
>”I’m afraid we must be heading out Anonymous, it’s about that time.”
“Yeah, I get it, I’ll walk you to the door.”
>Before they walk out, Rarity and Pinkie turn to you.
>”Oh, before I forget, about your speech.” Rarity says.
“Yes?”
>”Thank you.” Rarity says.
“No, thank you.”
>”Hope you’re not mad about the suit.”
“Pssh, nah, made it interesting. Also gave me an easy exit.”
>Any other scenario and you would never be able to show your face again.
>Pinkie suddenly jumps up and gives you a death hug, Rarity soon following.
“For such a small horse, you certainly can give one hell of a hug.” You say, stretching.
>Pinkie giggles.
>”Well, goodbye Anonymous.” Rarity says.
>”Biya Nonny, see you for our last week, next week!” She says.
“Bye.”
>You close the door.
>It’s quiet.
“...Our last week.”
>An hour later, you lay awake in your bed, you can’t sleep.
>That seems to be happening a lot recently.
“...Fucking ponies.”
 
SUNDAY, WEEK 3 / 4, PART 11 2/2 END