Title: The Shimmering Spider-Woman! Issue #2 Author: superkeaton Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/Wvjn3GkK First Edit: Saturday 23rd of April 2016 03:19:36 PM CDT Last Edit: Last edit on: Tuesday 7th of June 2016 06:21:30 PM CDT "I think I'm in love..."   >Be Anon >Be still finding it unnecessary to just toss out your full name like this is some kind of job interview with Oscorp or the Canterlot High janitorial service >Dream big, buddy >But most importantly of all, be safe at home, crawling through the interwebs, looking up stuff about your latest crush >After visiting the EMTs, giving statements to the cops, and checking with VP Luna if it was cool if you just stayed home today >It's totally cool >Speaking of cool... >Spider-Woman >Man, you can't get her out of your head >Her strength, her speed, her confidence, that soothing, pllayful voice, that body >That. >Body.   "U-Unf"   >Damn right, son >But it's weird >For someone who's in the papers as often as she is, nobody seems to know a damn thing about her >How old she is, what all her powers are, why she does that super-hero voodoo that she does so well >Well, okay, the Daily Bugle has some ideas about why she does it, but honestly, Spidey didn't strike you as a "menace" or a "scheming supervillainess" preying upon the naivete of your fair city >Man, someone there either has a raging hate-boner for her, or is seriously jealous >But not everyone seemed to agree with the Bi-Monthly Trumpet >There were plenty of stories of SW swooping in to save the day, helping people in accidents, stopping muggers, little things >Huh >What's this? >There's an image board about superheroes? >Woah! >/sup/, huh? >This could be it! >What better way to get the word out than by starting a thread about her? >But you'd need something meaty to draw anons into posting stuff >And thinking of the Bugle... >MBison.gif >You could interview some of the people at school, maybe even try and meet with her again when you aren't being harassed by a hot super criminal >And you could post what you find and learn here >Spidey had said that Sunset had flagged her down and told you about her, right? >Maybe she'd be a good place to start? >Honestly, she was the only other person you know who's spoken to the spandex-clad amazon face-to-mask >Plus, maybe you could finally get her to learn your name and even get an apology for those long, painful years... >[Nam Flashbacks Intensify] "Ugh...!" >Yeah, you got it, you're name is Anon, but writing 'Literally Who?' on your locker had still kinda stung >Among other things... >Maybe you should put off interviewing her... >No! >We are not going to be held back from venerating the good word of sweet, supple Spider-Booty by some bacon-haired turbo-cunt! >Fuck that!   "Yeah, fuck that!"   >Also, seriously, you need a hobby or friends or something >All this talking to yourself is making you look like a nutjob >Can't be healthy >Anyways, it's getting late, and your eyes are tired from doing some serious, journalistic investigating of this Spider-Woman rule 34 >Most of it is shitty cg or worse, MSpaint >A shit, shower, and another check of your phone's inbox, still empty of any well-wishers or concerned family members, leads right into you, flat on your back, staring at the ceiling and pondering what Spider-Woman's like before you shut your eyes   >Continue to be Anon >Alright, this is it >No more pussyfooting around >You've slugged your way through the morning's classes and it's lunchtime >And sitting far away from you on the other side of the room is the Canterlot Seven >The seven most popular (to varying degrees) girls in school >Girls who were talented, recognizable, colorful, and (according to some) possibly aliens from another dimension >Except Sunset Shimmer, because only a girl from Earth could be as cruel as she had been >Basically, your total opposites multiplied seven-fold >And not the Avenged kind, either >All you had to do was walk over, say hi, ask Sunset if you could interview her about her encounter with Spider-Woman and her thoughts and then you could vanish back into the background >How hard could it be? >Ohshit, did she look over and see you staring? >Fuck >Shit >Okay, no, play it cool, you're just a face in the crowd, she'll forget you exist if you just blend in, like hiding from a T-rex >.... >SHE'S STILL LOOKING! >Fuck you, Doctor Grant, you fucking liar! >Why are people JUST NOW noticing you!? >Don't panic, just... start walking forwards >Calm >One foot in front of the other >Stay on target... >Stay on target! >And just as you reach their table..   "Uh, hey Su-"   >Did you seriously just trip over your own laces? >Fuck you, fuck you to death >But just as your face is about to make harsh, unforgiving whoopie with the cold, unfeeling surface of the lunch table >You stop >When you open your eyes, you're being held upright by Sunset, who doesn't really seem to be straining all that much >Damn, girl stronk >Stronk like Mother Russia >As you recover everything but your spaghetti and human dignity, she looks you over >"Uh, hey, you alright... guy?" >Pull yourself together, homie, the lady asked you a question and she might out-lift you >Respect that and answer her with words, like other humans do   "Uh, yeah, sorry, I'm good..."   >Okay, contact has been established >Now walk it back, nice and easy >Names, introductions, the basics   "It's me, Anon, from the bus yesterday?"   >C'mon, even you aren't that forgettable >A bus exploded and she literally looked you in the face >.... >Seriously? >Okay, there we go! Lights are coming on behind those pretty eyes! >"Oh, yeah, right! Sorry, I guess I'm still a little... shocked from everything that happened" >You and me both, sister "Yeah, I actually wanted to talk to you about that... Spider-Woman saved me back there. She said you'd flagged her down and told her about me being stuck. I, uh, I seriously owe you for that one. Thanks, Sunset." >That earns you a small smile from her >Heh, cute >"It's nothing, Anon. Sorry about leaving you there, but I was really counting on there being someone nearby who could help. I guess we both got lucky, huh?" >She giggles >Hnng! "Definitely... Um... Actually, I was wonder.... If we could-"   >"Ooooooh! Are you asking Sunset out on a date, huh? Huh?"   >That's when you become keenly aware that there are six other human beings sitting around you >Sweating.png >Pinkie Pie  is propped up on her elbows, grinning up at you with a smile that reminds you that you seriously aren't used to being noticed >Definitely not by a table of pretty girls! >You feel your cheeks flush "W-What? No! I, uh, just wanted to interview her!" >Ignoring the airquotes Pinkie makes as she giggles and silently mouths 'Inter-view' >You sigh and look back to Sunset, who looks pretty confused about the whole thing >"Interview me? What about?" >Thank god for people who can stay on track "Well, about Spider-Woman, actually..." >She quirks an eyebrow at that >"Spider-Woman? Why? Gonna crap on her for the Bugle or something?" >Shimmer shoots you a glare that makes a damn good effort at making your dick crawl up inside you >Woah, hostile! "No, no! I just wanted to get your opinion of her, maybe put in online... I mean, how could I hate someone who saved my life, right?" "Plus, I'm hoping that putting out some good words will help convince people that she isn't some secret supervillainess or whatever..." "I think she's really here to help...." >You give your best "Not Being An Asshole" smile to the yellow girl >She looks unconvinced, mulling it over >Please buy it, please buy it, please please please >..... >"Fine, I'll do it."   "Yes!"   >Wait, shit, out loud again! >Fuck! >God you suck... >After another round of awkward looks from damn near everyone nearby (and giggles from Pinkie), Shimmer pulls out her phone >"After school, there's a coffee shop nearby where we can talk." >You give a vaguely more human smile, agree, and turn away so you can finally eat, only to hear the bell ring >Lunch is over, fucker, back to work! >Fuck! >Your stomach grumbles a 'double fuck!' >As you sigh and start trundling out with the rest of the students, Pinkie zips by >"Have fun on your date with Sunset!" >Aaaand she's gone >And now you are DEFINITELY being stared at by other people around you >Goddammit Pinkie! >You aren't blushing! >Agh, whatever, at least now you have a reason to drag yourself through classes >Follow the shit-sandwich rainbow to the yellow and red streaked pot of gold at the end   "I can do this..."