Title:           Young Dog, Old Tricks
Author:          schwartzfan
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/QBXfX33M
First Edit:      Thursday 10th of April 2014 10:02:50 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Thursday 10th of April 2014 10:02:50 PM CDT

>Day getting wasted in Equestria.
>You're Anonymous. Young, dumb, and full of cum.
>And trapped in the Magical Horsepocalypse, known as Equestria.
>There could be some exposition on how you settled in, but that's not what this story is about.
>And frankly no one would really give a shit on how well you've adapted into society if you're still alive.
>Anyway, it's friday, you ain't got no job, you ain't got shit to do!
>Why not go out and get Gucci man wasted?
>Your best bros Thunderlane and Bulk Biceps decided to tag along. Getting drunk amongst friends is always the best after all.
>So the trio of you decided to hit up Ponyville's premier watering hole, "The Whiskey Spit."
>The three of you had been there for some time. Thunderlane was already tipsy, and Bulk was working up a good buzz.
>You're still sober as all get out. Pony alcohol is weak shit.
>It's like watered down Kool-aid.
>"So Anonymush, wud ya do her?" Thunderlane slurs out drunkenly, pointing to the trio of Flower Ponies in the corner, chatting amongst themselves.
>You shrug.
"Roseluck...ehhh. maybe. Daisy? Nope. But I'd massacre Lily."
>You take a sip of your drink.
>Thunderlane, and Bulk let out some chuckles.
>You look around and see Rainbow Dash and Applejack at the bar knocking back shots.
"What about them Bulky?"
>He looks in the direction you're pointing.
>"....YEAAAAH."
>You roll your eyes.
>That's what he always says. How stupid of you to think otherwise.
>Bulk looks around and spots a mare sitting by her lonesome at the far end of the bar, and points to her with his muscle-addled hoof.
>She stands out, considering she's wearing more clothes than most of these ponies wear at any given time.
>"What about her? Would you?"
>You cock an eyebrow.
"It depends. I'd have to see her face."
>Thunderlane smiles deviously.
>"Anonymush..Ey jus got a wekked idear.."
"You're gonna sober up? Because I can't understand a damn thing you're saying."
 
>"Oh go to tautarus."
>He waves your jab off.
"So what. What is this amazing idea that spawned in your tiny pony brain you lush?"
>He grins, teetering a little.
>"Fifty bits says you won't go try and pick up that mare with the jacket."
>Fifty bits?
>You look back at her.
>She turns her head in your direction, and OH MY GOD.
>Crows feet out the ass.
>A gruff, angry unimpressed demeanor.
>Old lady alert alarms are buzzing through the roof.
"Dude! Look at her! She's like seventy!"
>"Ha! Wuss."
>"I'll go do it. No mare can resist these guns!"
>Bulk flexes and kisses his biceps/
"You'll try to pick up any mare Bulk. You're that desperate."
>Thunderlane snickers.
>"Yeah? Well your mom didn't think so!"
>"Oooooh snap! No he di-int!"
>You cross your arms and lean back with lowered eyes, and a smirk.
"I can't see that happening as you don't have a dick or balls from all those roids you took."
>Thunderlane breaks out laughing, banging his hoof on the table.
>Bulk turns red.
>"Sh-shut up! I don't take those!"
>You rub your forehead.
"Fifty-bits huh?"
>Thunderlane nods.
>"Wait! Wait! Bring back an article of her clothing as proof you did the stable tango."
>Bulk snorts happily.
"Still with that sniffing fetish huh?"
>He crumples up a napkin and throws it at you.
>You laugh and slide out of your seat.
"Shit! Okay! Okay! I'll do it. Just have my money ready ladies."
>"Yeah yeah."
>"Tell me how the ground tastes when you crash and burn."
>You flip them both off, and slap your cheeks.
>Cougars are definitely not your fetish, but if there's profit to be gained..you'll stick your dick into pony Rosa Parks here.
>You put your hands into your pockets, and cautiously step towards the dressed mare.
>She's leaning over a small glass of brwon liquid, with a grumpy expression.
>Wow. Who shit in her cereal?
>You look back to your buddies.
>They both wave you on with shit-eating grins.
>You bite your bottom lip and continue on.
>You slowly take the seat next to her.
 
>Her Sky-Blue peepers flash to you then away briefly.
>She sighs and turns away, leaning on her hoof.
>You look around the bar, nonchalantly.
>AJ and RD are still slamming shots away, in some ridiculous competition.
>Thunderlane and Bulk are watching you intently.
>You turn to the mare.
"So uhm..Hey..?"
>She doesn't respond.
"Am I bothering you?"
>Still nothing.
>She looks at you over her wither.
>"Are-are you talking to me?"
>You force a smile and avert your sight for a second and then train it back on her.
"Yeah..yeah I am. Am I bothering you?"
>She rotates completely, facing you.
>"Wh-why no! Not at all!"
>Her grumpy expression is slowly fading away, to a proud haughty one.
>She smiles at you warmly.
>Uh..what should you say?
>Perhaps starting out simple works. Been a while since you watched "How to be a player".
>You hope based Bill Belamy's lessons will apply here.
>You decide to start with small talk.
"So uhm..how are you? What brings you here?"
>Smooth retard.
>She plays with her earring with a hoof.
>"I just got off work. I travel all over Equestria, as a judge for various sporting events and thensome."
"Oh? A sports judge? Like what?"
>She smiles, and puts her nose into the air.
>"Nothing much..Just the Equestrian Games. You heard of it?"
>Wait.This seems awfully familiar.
>Checklist!
>Gussying self up in convo to raise appeal.
>Check.
>Bragging about a prestigous job?
>Check.
>More confidence than a Jersey Shore faggot?
>Check.
>Only one last item and you'll know for sure.
"Yeah. I heard of it. It's a big sporting event held in the Crystal Empire correct?"
>"Half-correct my dear. See I pick the locations where those games will be hosted."
"Damn! That is impressive."
>She giggles, and leans on a hoof, looking at you while trailing another hoof around the rim of her glass.
>"So...can I buy you a drink?"
>Offers to buy a drink to gain favor.
>Check.
>This mare is trying to pick YOU up.
 
"Sure..sure. I'd like that."
>She sniggles, giving you...hm. How can this be described?
>It's like she's angry,but she's giving you bedroom eyes while smiling.
>She taps the bar's surface.
>A pony with a handlebar moustache trots down to you both.
>"Did you want something Whinny?"
>"Get my cute friend here, An Alicorn Iced-tea."
>She places the order without looking away from you.
>Fifty bits. Fifty bits!
>"Ohoho! Looks like you finally reeled one in! Looks like the drought is over huh! Dusting off those coochie cobwebs?"
>You stifle a laugh.
>The mare leers at the bartender with a black look.
>"You utter one more word other than a "Yes ma'am" and I'll have this place faster than you can say Rainbow Dash."
>Oh mai! Granny in charge up in here.
>He puts his hooves up in defense.
>"Alright! Sheesh! Keep your socks on Whinny! Gosh."
>He trots off to fix the drink, irritated.
"So is that your name? Whinny?"
>She focuses her attention back on you.
>"It's HarshWhinny..but, I can be a screamer at times."
>She winks and licks the front of her teeth.
>Oh ew.
>The bartender returns with your drink.
>You thank him, taking the beverage in your hand.
>HarshWhinny observes you, crossing her hind legs, and recrossing them.
>As you start to drink, your eyes wander down to her nethers.
>She purposely, spreads them, giving you a view of her exposed marehood.
>You gag on your drink.
>Cougars aren't your fetish, but public exposure is.
>"I heard about you, you know. You're that human Anonymous..right?"
>You fight the quickly growing boner in your pants, and cough, nodding frantically.
>She giggles again.
>"You're a cute little thing, aren't you?"
>You wipe your mouth, and smile at her with uneasiness.
"I'm told I can be charming at times, yes!"
>Your voice is cracking. chill out nig.
>She scootches her seat a little closer to you.
>"So are the rumors...true?"
>Rumors?
"What rumors?"
>She rolls her eyes, with a smile on her mug.
>"About human stamina.."
 
>Your eyes dart left and right, and back to her.
"Wh-what about it?"
>She starts to stroke your forearm with her hoof.
>"That your kind can go allll night long...or so I heard."
>She looks into your eyes, suggestively.
>You gulp.
"Y-yeah I guess.."
>She closes her eyes and hums.
>"I see..You wanna..get out of here?"
>You clench the glass tightly.
>Fifty bits Anonymous.
>Fuck it. Get paid and blow this mare's insides out. Alpha up man.
"Sure. Why not?"
>She smirks at you and twists, and hops off her seat.
>You slide off of yours and follow her.
>She's swishing her tail, and hips as you follow behind her out of the bar.
>You look over to Thunderlane and Bulk.
>The fuckers are guffawing over there.
>You flip them off one more time before disappearing to the outside.
>Harshwhinny stands waiting on you.
>"So? My place or yours?"
>You gulp again. You're really gonna do this.
>you can't let her know where you live. One-night stands are more difficult to get out of your place than theirs.
"Your place?"
>She nods, still grinning.
>"Follow me then, handsome."
>You scratch your head and breathe out.
>The walk to her place is surprisingly short. It must be convenient to be able to get drunk and hop, skip and jump back to your home in distance.
>You come to a sizable cottage, near the outskirts of Ponyville.
>She opens her door and allows you in first.
>"Please. Make yourself at home."
>You walk in and look around.
>It looks like an old man's study with a red armchair, and lined with bookshelves of books, and a fireplace with a mounted Manticore head above it.
>A glass flask of brown liquid sits on a small table next to the armchair.
"Pretty impressive place you have here."
>"Thank you. I try to keep it, "simple"."
>Simple my ass. You wonder how much you'd have to make to even get a portion of this for your pad.
>You notice a case filled with various trophies.
"You're quite the achiever huh?"
>She chuckles lightly.
>"I get around, yes."
 
>Your hands are getting clammy.
>You feel a soft gust of wind hit your ankles.
>You look back at HarshWhinny.
>She's hung her jacket and scarf up and shut the door.
>"Let me show you the rest of my house. Come in me..oops..I mean with me. If you will."
>She gives you a mischievous smirk.
>It's like a cheesy porn right now.
>All you need is a pizza.
>See what I did there? Cheese? Pizza? aaaaahh you get it.
>She beckons you down a hallway into another room, her hips swaying the whole time.
>It's her bedroom.
>Totally didn't see that coming.
>It's as decked out as the study. Like something out of those Fable games you used to play.
>She slowly climbs onto her bed and lays atop, smiling at you seductively.
>"So? What do you think of my place?"
"It's pretty nice. I wish I had a spot like this myself."
>"Oh I'm sure yours is just as nice."
"I wish."
>"Well maybe you'll allow me to see it someday."
>Ha! You wish.
"Uh..s-sure..."
>You kick the ground softly.
>She watches you and jabs a hoof out at you, and curls it back towards her.
>"Come now anonymous. don't be shy. Join me on the bed.."
>You gulp once more and shuffle over to her comfort.
>You shakily sit down.
>She moves over next to you, her nose breathing softly alongst your neck.
>"Have you ever been with an older mare..?"
>You shake your head.
>"Excellent. Then let's get started."
>You can feel your pores open up from her warm breaths of air.
>HarshWhinny brings her lips to your neck, and places a gentle kiss alongst your jawline.
>You involuntarily moan out.
>Her subtle, gentle actions are slowly turning you on.
>She snickers, licking your earlobe.
>Your heart starts to beat hard.
>She brings a hoof to your opposing cheek and turns your head towards her.
>Her aged lips connect with yours.
>Despite their appearance, they are incredibly soft.
>She pries open your mouth with her tongue, and thus the battle for dominance between yours and hers.
 
>Your mouth begins to salivate heavily from the taste of her alcohol, flavored tongue kiss.
>A bit begins to flow out the side of your gullet.
>She breaks the kiss, and licks her lips.
>You're blushing heavily.
>You get a feeling it's not her, who's going to get "blown out".
>"Off. Now."
>You mechanically comply and stand up, beginning to undress.
>HarshWhinny watches you, with a satisfied grin.
>You kick off your shoes, and remove your top half.
>You unbutton your pants and prepare to slide them and your briefs down in one swoop.
>"Wait. Let me step in here sexy."
>You instantly release them and put your hands at your side, like the subservient bitch you're acting like.
>Alpha the fuck up! She's dominating you.
>HarshWhinny slides off her bed and puts her hooves on both sides of your thigh and slides your pants and underwear down.
>Your throbbing erection springs up and lightly slaps her cheek.
>She giggles.
>"Some human's a little excited hm?"
>You exhale hard, from the sensations of her breathing on your rod.
>You close your eyes, and pray to whoever is watching you, to give you the strength to hold out.
>Your knees buckle, when the moist, and hot feeling of HarshWhinny wrapping her mouth around the tip of your cock, sends electricity through your entire body.
>She gives it a firm suckle, while looking up into your eyes.
>This mare has skills man.
"Oooo-ooooh shit.."
>She sniggles and takes your meat in deeper into her mouth.
>You clutch her head, and suck your stomach in.
>She's gonna make you cum, just from this alone.
"G-guh gaaah..."
>You reposition your legs and prop your arms on her bed to keep from doubling over.
>Her head is slightly tilted back, and eyes widened.
>Time to attack.
>You take one hand and place it on the back of HarshWhinny's head, and slowly pump yourself in and out of her slick mouth.
>Horses can't throw up, so you're going throat deep nigga.
>You begin to roughly throat fuck the cougar pony, much to her surprise.
 
>Her eyes start to roll back, and her nose runs.
>"Gloogh..gluurrk..glllaaagh.."
>The sounds of her gagging, serve to imbue you with more sexual drive.
>You push your veiny staff in and out of her mouth, your urethra kissing the back of her throat with each push.
>She taps your legs a few times.
>You retreat from the confines of her mouth, panting.
>She starts coughing and hacking, bent over.
>"You-koff koff- You're no slacker, after all..-koof-"
>She's awoken a beast in you. A beast that had yet to experience the joys of sex with someone older than you.
>A beast of lust.
>You snatch up HarshWhinny in your arms and fling her onto the bed.
>"O-oh my!"
>She bounces on her back, and sprawls out.
>You grin at her with hungry eyes.
>She looks back equally hungry.
>She grits her teeth in a lusty smile.
>"Then come take it!"
>You grab her hind legs and lift her lower half so her marehood and anus are exposed and in your face.
>You lick your chops.
>"This position..! I haven't been in this position since I was a young maaaaaaaaooooooh~!"
>You cut her nostalgia off, by sliding your tongue into her winking genitals.
>You trace the finer details of her folds with the tip of your tongue, before slowly sliding it inside.
>"Uhh--haaah~ It feels so good!"
>Her walls squeeze and tug your tastebud studded muscle, as if you entered her with your manhood.
>You can hear her breathing increase, as you lap at her opening, while pressing your chin on her puckered back door.
>A small spurt of liquid shoots from her hole, and splashes onto her breast.
>HarshWhinny's face is contorted into a mindless mask of desire, her mouth opened wide, and eyes half open.
>"Ooohhh...Ce-celestia...!"
>You pull back, and take a trip downstairs to her rosebud.
>You creep two fingers into her snatch and slowly pump them in and out of her, while you begin to work on her butthole next.
>You lick at its wrinkled exterior, while pistoning your digits in and out of her.
>"Hunnh~! Hunnh~!"
 
She releases a breathless squeak as you plunge in up to your knuckles.
>Her anus begins to expand and contract in arousal.
>She's more than ready, if the flowing juices, she's pouring out is any sign.
>You remove your fingers and hold and allow her to fall down.
>She looks off to the side, panting with her tongue out.
>Her blue eyes are hazy colored, and she has a happy, tired grin.
>You recognize this look, but you never thought you'd see it in real life.
>Ahegao.
>Your stick however doesn't care for paltry observations. You're inclined to agree.
>You roughly flip her over onto her stomach.
>She offers no form of resistance, as you position yourself over her.
>You prod her hole with your head and rub it around.
>She whimpers, snapping out of her sexual stupor.
>"Do-don't tease an old l-lady. Jam it i-in. Rough me up you young p-punk."
"...Yes Ma'am."
>You slam your cock into her mature slit, hilting instantly.
>"OOOOOOOOoooooooooooooohhhhhhhhh yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees~!"
>Her head shoots up and she paws at her bed, with a manic look on her face.
>You release a howl of pleasure, at the acceptance her innards are greeting you with.
>They wrap, and hug your sensitive meat, and begin to caress it.
>You can feel her heart beat.
>HarshWhinny collapses onto her bed.
>Ha! This old broad is a "cum on insertion" type huh?
>She better get ready to cum a lot more then.
>You take your shaft out of her hole, and jam it right back in.
>"Nnnnggggghhhh AAAH~!"
>She curls her head and moans loudly, screaming almost into her covers.
>She is a screamer.
>You start to savagely thrust into her depths, the sounds of her moans, your grunts and skin slapping fur, echoing throughout the cottage.
>Her tail is elevated straight up into the air, and her anus is expanding and contracting again.
>You pound into her, clenching her supple plot cheeks with both hands.
>Your knees muscles begin to ache into your thigh muscles.
>Your exercising muscles you never gave attention to before.
 
>Feeling adventurous, you ease a thumb into her butt.
>It fights back at first, but initially accepts the foreign invader entering through the wrong side of its exit.
>"Guuooohhh...I haven't--nnnnngggghh..haven't had that-oooooonnnnggggh! Hole played with in for-ooooohhh! Ever!"
>You push into her so hard, her smaller frame begins to sink into the bed with each vaginal assault.
>She starts to tap the bed, as if she were in a submission hold.
>"Anonymous...Oh celestia..Oh sweet celestia!! I can't take much mooooogggghhhh~ more...!"
"That's...haaah~ fine..I'm near too.!"
>Your stomach curdles, and you can feel the dam walls of your testicles slowly opening.
>You remove your cock with a wet squelch, and thumb from her anus with a pop, as a torrent of her fluids, bursts forth from her trench.
>She arches in an orgasmic moan, before you flip her over.
>You step over her face, your balls tapping her chin lightly.
>You cradle her mind-broken face and begin to stroke yourself, feeling the culmination of your efforts quickly approaching.
>HarshWhinny opens her mouth, and gives your scrotum a quick lap.
>That was all the help needed, as globby strings of your life-creating milk pours spurts into her mouth, lips, and nose.
>A stray strand surpasses all those before him and lands across her closed right eye.
>She closes her mouth and swallows your cream, with a content sigh as the two of you pant breathlessly.
>The room is humid and reeks of intercourse and sex.
>You fall to her side and stare at the ceiling, catching your breath.
>That shit was WILD.
>It was like there is no difference between an older mare and a younger one with Harshy.
>She takes a hoof and cleans off your spunk with a hoof and brings it to her mouth, licking it off as if it were frosting on a spoon.
>"Delicious..I missed this taste."
>You remain quiet.
>"Thank you Anonymous. You truly do not disappoint."
"I aim to please."
>"You did more than please me..I'd give you a trophy if I had one."
 
>You let out a laugh.
>She rolls over and places her head on your chest, breathing softly.
>You both bask in the sweet afterglow of an intense session for a while.
>"....So?"
"So?"
>She leans on your chest and looks into your eyes.
>She has a somber look about her.
>"I know this was probably one-time thing, but I still want to say thank you for giving an old mare past her prime like me, the night of her life."
>Is she kidding? She turned you into a ravenous beast, and she's thanking you for it!
>She gives you a little kiss on the lips.
>"I won't tell anypony, what we did tonight. You can go if you want."
>She slowly climbs off the bed, with her head hung.
>You lean up and look at her incredulously.
>You get off the bed also, and scoop her up from behind.
>She lets out a yelp of surprise as you bring her back to bed.
>"What are you--?"
>You shut her up with another kiss.
>She moans into it and wraps her legs around your neck.
>You break it, and bump foreheads with her.
>She looks into your eyes, elated.
"So what are you doing tomorrow night?"
>Looks like a young dog can be taught old tricks.
 
END