Title:           SP pt 1
Author:          notkickass222urmom
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/rrikb6Ji
First Edit:      Tuesday 16th of September 2014 12:51:18 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Tuesday 16th of September 2014 12:51:18 PM CDT

Seeking Power by Forthwith
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/174671/seeking-power
 
 
Prelude - Creativity
>A brilliant multichromatic streak filled the sky and something somewhere stirred.
What an amazing first sentence, deeper than the Mariana Trench.
 
>For a four-year-old Twilight Sparkle, it was an opportunity.
Her young age is of utmost importance. After all, the earlier you are Less Wrong, the better you are.
 
>Still, if it were to be believed, there was a princess like Cadance that could move the sun and moon.
Let me recap the story for you so far. Twiley “made her first clumsy attempts at telekinesis”. This event completely changed her behavior. She started seeking power, hence the title. The most logical reaction? Not asking anyone for help and becoming a bookworm.
Her self-awareness far surpasses what you’d expect at her age. Yet she somehow managed to completely ignore Celestia’s existence despite having a baby sitter with close connections to her and an older brother attending her school.
 
>“Well, I graduated near the top of the class at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns.”
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch?
Yes, this is how the first pony our dear Twiley meets introduces herself. I wouldn’t be surprised if Forthwith was dead serious while writing it.
 
>”[...] Most ponies never look outside the box to see what they can really do. [...]”
Wait a second, are you telling me that in a show for little girls, they have other priorities than to focus on optimization of fictional spells? Is this what you're telling me?
 
 
 
>“The same is true of pretty much every other spell, and every other magic, and…well, everything really. Rarely does a pony see something and repurpose it for a different task or try to improve it.”
>Daisy turned to Twilight and poked her in the nose. “I hope you won’t be so silly as you grow up.”
>Twilight’s eyes were positively glowing with admiration.
This passage is a prime example of how subtly Forthwith shovels his own opinions down the reader’s throat and how masterfully he develops his characters. It also explains the reader why the prelude is named Creativity: we all don’t have it.
 
>“Oh, it is. But unfortunately, we’re all pretty foalish inside.”
I take it back. We aren’t uncreative; we are too stupid to even try to be creative.
 
>“Will I be able to raise the sun too?”
New target acquired.
 
>“We’ve had this conversation before, dear. Several times.”
Let’s just have it one more time for the readers.
 
>”[...] Shining had trouble in school making friends. He was smart and studious and sort of a show off. A lot of his peers ended up resenting and bullying him, or just pretended he didn’t exist. [...]”
Talk about subtlety and suspension of disbelief. If he wasn’t a canon character, he would also tell his wife his color scheme. I could give you a lot more similar examples of highly rational behavior but I will spare you, else I’d quote the entire fic.
 
>”[...] who are we to question what she enjoys?”
>“Her parents.”
No shit?!?
 
>“That doesn’t mean we should try to change who she is. Altering her utility function would be tantamount to killing her. [...]”
I considered it impossible but the story keeps getting more ridic- uhm, I mean rational. Yes, rational! Hehe he.
 
>“I had some free time and wanted to see my adorable little sister now that she’s six years old.”
Telling the reader about the two one year time skips isn’t enough. We’re stupid after all. Luckily we can depend on Forthwith’s naturalistic dialogue.
