Title:           LtD Christmas special
Author:          notkickass222urmom
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/bsTgwwdy
First Edit:      Saturday 27th of December 2014 10:13:41 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Saturday 27th of December 2014 10:13:41 AM CDT

>>Lesson't Learned - Part 1
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> Title: Lesson’s Learned
I honestly doubt anyone will ever learn anything in the Living-verse.
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>Tags:
 
>>Tragedy
Is it now. Well, in a meta sense we all are perfectly aware that the very existence of these fics and their fans is a tragedy in and of itself. In a more literal way, though, I honestly doubt Kickass222urmom is going to give us a true tragedy, no matter how deserving of one these characters may be.
>>Sad
I think I can actually agree with this one. I am one hundred percent sure that this story will make me sad, though probably not in the way Kickass intended.
>>Slice of Life.
Ha! We all know that Kickass222urmom is perfectly capable of slicing Life into an unrecognisable mess.
…
I know, I’m just stalling the inevitable, but I really don’t want to do this, I finally stopped having night terrors.
Ugh… Oh, what the hell, I didn’t get you guys a card, so I hope you like your gift.
---
>Description:
>A Christmas Special for my story, 'Living the dream.'
You can’t even properly capitalize the title of your story? It’s only the first sentence of the description and Kickass has already run out of fucks to give.
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>Can Cody Benson forgive Lance?
Ah, I see.
This story is about Edgy McEdgerson and how he got emasculated off-screen. That means that Cody’s sudden pussyfication in LtD wasn’t a plot hole.
Kickass222urmom just wanted the reader to stop reading the main story, go to this one, read it, and then go back.
Yeah, screw him.
Also, no, I don’t think Cody could forgive Lance, seeing how he blames him for the death of his father and the disgrace of his family instead of blaming his own stupidity.
But we all already know that he does forgive him and becomes besties with him, so this is all moot.
---
>On his way to finish what he started with Lance
So this picks up right in the middle of Cody’s pointless vendetta. I haven’t started with the fic and I’m already full of dread.
 
 
 
>>Lesson's Learned - Part 2
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>he meets ponies that could teach him a lesson about forgiveness and kindness
The key word being “could”.
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> But will he follow them or is the hatred in his heart more powerful?
Will he become just another one-dimensional character, or will he remain the generic edgy anti-hero with thirst for blood?
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>Short Description:
>Can Cody Benson forget about his grudge and move on to find happiness.
Is that a question?
Because if he does, then that’ll be the closest anyone has ever come to character development in the Living-verse since Lance’s mom.
But who am I kidding, he’s probably going to make a heel face turn at the last moment just to get to the happy ending.
---
>First Published
>20th Dec 2011
Wait, what?
---
>Last Modified
>20th Dec 2011
>20th Dec
>2011
Oh… God…
Oh, my God, this was written and last edited three years ago, Kickass hasn’t edited this since he published it.
Now, take in consideration that he rewrote, or at least went over most of “Living the Dream” on August 2012.
This is untouched.
This is pure, unbridled Kurt.
---
>Word Count: 3,953
Almost four thousand words of it.
Pray for me, Anons.
 
 
 
>>Lesson's Learned - Part 3
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> This is a one shot.
Thankfully.
---
>For this to make sense, you must read the original story.
>For this to make sense, you must drink half a gallon of bleach, bash your head repeatedly with a wood plank, and call forth Yog Sothoth and the Elder Gods.
ftfy, Kickass
---
>Also, this does not really connect to my story, its just a Christmas Special.
So… This is an AU of the Living-verse?
I suppose it later became canon to re-integrate Cody in the story, since he’s such a compelling character that we couldn’t just cast aside.
---
>Cody Benson stepped out of the Palace gates,
And out also went my hopes and dreams.
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>his red mane blowing in the night time wind.
>A smirk on his face.
I don’t understand why these are in separate paragraphs, but hey, I’ve seen far worse.
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>The Princess just let him go, no questions asked.
Apparently, Equestria’s parole relies on the honor system.
“Now, Cody, you have to promise not to kill anyone or next time we’ll give you a stern lecture.”
---
>If she thinks he's just going to forget about Lance, then she's crazy.
I bet it’s all part of a grand scheme that involves Cody’s redemption.
Said scheme seems to include releasing a dangerous and violent sociopath in the populace.
I’m sure the families of all the ponies he killed loved the idea.
 
 
 
>>Lesson's Learned - Part 4
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>He will never forgive Lance.
Okay, I think I should do a small recap for those who don’t have every word of Living the Dream etched in their brains.
Back on Earth, Cody’s dad had some financial troubles with the family business, and he decided to ask some loan shark, since those have such a good reputation.
Foreseeably, he doesn’t get the money in time to pay back the loan shark, so they decide to ask her dying aunt to give them money to pay off their debt. Why they didn’t do this first instead of the loan shark is beyond any of us.
And using the exemplary logic and reason that characterizes the Benson family, they sent Cody to bring a check instead of doing a bank transfer.
Then, in a turn of events that surprised nobody except Cody, he lost the check. This happened while he helped a random stranger while he was being mugged in an alleyway and no, he did not get mugged instead, but rather the mugger just ripped his jacket and the check flew off.
Now, even the most obtuse of individuals would probably just have the aunt make another check, but even they should remember that we’re dealing with a character written by Kickass222urmom, so of course this wasn’t an option and the money was then lost forever.
Now, since the random stranger Cody helped was none other than Lance “Girokon” Greenfield, and obviously he was to blame, not the stupidity of every member of the Benson family, he swore to get revenge on him, he just waited until the Rapture not and ask God to send him to the same place Lance went.
And God agreed to that.
---
>The only thing he wants to do to Lance is send him straight to hell.
I think the denizens of hell have suffered enough without throwing Lance in the mix.
---
>His heart was black with hatred.
That’s racist.
---
>He rubbed his hoofs together
Does Kickass truly not know the plural form of “hoof”? Or he just doesn’t care?
Trick question, it’s both!
 
 
 
>>Lesson's Learned - Part 5
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>ready to get to Ponyville, where he knew Lance was.
And so are the other OC’s. You do remember that’s how you got your ass kicked the last time, right?
---
>He began to walk down the street
These characters never do things. They begin to do them.
---
>an evil grin on his face. Thinking about all the ways to kill Lance.
A healthy and wholesome activity if I ever saw one.
---
>As he walked, he didn't see the mare, loaded with boxes, walking across the road.
Since this is a Christmas story, I’m going to assume it takes place at least during the same time as the Hearth’s Warming Eve. We’ve seen how the streets in Canterlot are during the Hearth’s Warming Eve. They’re deserted.
But okay, maybe you want to argue that this was the case only during the Pageant because why not, and I’ll give you that one.
Still, this mare was “loaded with boxes”, how the hell do you miss that?
---
>They collided, boxes going everywhere.
How fast must they have been going for the boxes to go everywhere?
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>Cody slowly stood and glared at the mare.
Isn’t Cody a pegasus? Why was he walking?
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>She was a bluish color with a light blue mane and tail.
What would a Living the Dream story be without OC’s being thrown out of the blue?
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>She looked up at him, "I'm so sorry mister. I should have been watching where I was going."
Yes you should have, because even with the, I guess, antagonist of the main fic, nothing can ever be his fault.
---
>Cody, still glaring, shook his head, "Yes, you should have been watching where you were going, your fault."
One would think that Cody would be in a better mood, considering he just got out of jail and was practically given a second chance to get revenge.
 
 
 
>>Lesson's Learned - Part 6
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>She nodded, "I'm truly sorry."
Why couldn’t you take a cab? If you can buy so many presents that the sheer amount of boxes doesn’t let you see, I’m sure you can afford to pay a taxi, or tip one of the ponies at the store to help you, at the very least.
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>She started picking up boxes
Y’know, some actions could work with this “started ____-ing” formula, but it’s just tiring when you use it all the time, and it feels like padding.
Why couldn’t she simply pick up the boxes? Was the very action of starting to pick them up so important that it deserved to be mentioned?
---
>"Mister, could you help me with those boxes?"
“Tonight at seven, the remains of a butchered mare were found on her basement, our reporter will give us all the details of the massacre, only on The Hub News.”
---
>Cody let out a sigh, why not.
...because you’re hell-bent on revenge? Because you want nothing more than to kill Lance because you blame him for the tragedy that befell your family? Because agreeing to help this random mare goes against whatever little characterization you’ve had so far?
---
>May get paid for it.
Are you serious? That’s the reason you’re going to put your vendetta on hold? A few bits? Do you even need the money? Last time you just killed a guy to get a knife and went after Lance.
As much as I’d like to say Cody has become wiser, I know it’s just an excuse to get him into this, uh, “journey of self-discovery” or whatever.
---
>"I guess." He picked up a few boxes and put them on his back.
Ok, I guess we’re doing this.
---
>She looked over at him, "Thank you, please follow me."
She wasn’t looking at him already? And if she wasn’t, was the action of looking back to Cody that important? It’s not as if she has noticed something while seeing him, she didn’t recognise the dangerous criminal Cody Benson, that line was entirely superfluous.
 
 
 
>>Lesson's Learned - Part 7
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>Cody sighed and followed the mare.
Again, he’s doing this under the hopes that he may get some bits, and even if he did get some, it’d be pocket change, is that really worth deviating from your revenge mission which, again, is the only reason you’re in Equestria?
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>She led him down the street, then down an ally to an lone door.
How can she lead Cody down the street and her ally at a lone door at the same time.
Ok, I admit I had to stretch that, I’m thoroughly ashamed.
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>She walked in and motioned for Cody to follow.
Is there any reason why you are letting him in? You were going to carry all the boxes by yourself, so it’s not as if you were in desperate need of assistance, and even if you did, don’t you have anyone else that could help you? As far as you know, he could be a killer and, go figure, he actually is!
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>Upon entering, he saw what looked like a poor house.
Surprisingly, it didn’t look like that from the outside. Canterlot really does its best to enforce the building code to all of its inhabitants.
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>Ponies in ratty and stained clothes.
I just checked “Hearth’s Warming Eve” for this, no one was wearing clothes, despite the large mounds of snow, so the “ratty and stained clothes” are just meant to be a downer.
And this was written three days ‘after’ HWE aired, so there’s no excuse.
---
>Kinda strange since this is suppose to be a town filled with high class ponies.
That’s the reason, the high class ponies keep poor ones around to make themselves feel even more rich.
---
>He walked over to the mare, "Where can I drop those?"
Cody is being awfully considerate for a sociopath.
---
>She looked around, "Right over there." She pointed across the room.
>Cody sighed. He made his way across the room and dumped the boxes on the floor.
And there goes little Timmy’s toys.
 
 
 
>>Lesson's Learned - Part 8
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>"Hey, that's my bunk!" Said an angry voice.
How fortunate that troubles waited for Cody to get here to arise.
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>Cody turned to see a stallion standing over another stallion, who was laying on a bunk.
Things got interesting all of a sudden.
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>"Your names not on it." Said the one on the bunk, his hoofs behind his head.
He’s just asking for it.
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>Cody smiled
Who would have thought Cody was into colt-cuddling.
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>he loved to see people fight.
I wonder why he’s so violent, there’s been no indication that he was like this back on Earth. In fact, he was nice enough to help a random stranger getting mugged.
Oh, well. You know what they say, once you go Lance, you never go back.
---
>"Get out of my bunk!" Said the angry stallion, who was brown.
That’s racist.
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>The stallion on the bunk, who was orange, stood up and got face to face with the brown stallion
LtD background characters! Now color coded for your convenience!
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>"Make me."
>The brown stallion chuckled, "I just did."
And that brings that pointless scene to an end.
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>The orange stallion looked down at the bunk and smiled, "Huh, guess you did."
>The brown stallion patted the orange stallions back, "Here, I'll help you get a bunk set up."
This whole conflict is over so quickly it makes you wonder why it was introduced in the first place.
---
>Cody shook his head and walked over to them, "How can you both just drop a fight like that?"
My guess is that “the plot” required it.
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>The brown stallion looked at him, "There's no point in fighting.”
Bullspooge, you’re the one who started the fight.
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>”Besides, its Hearth's Warming Eve."
So Kickass was aware of the chapter’s existence. I assume the earlier mistake can be chalked up to him not caring.
 
 
 
>>Lesson's Learned - Part 9
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>Cody grunted, sounds like Christmas.
‘We’ know it’s Christmas, Kickass22urmom knows it’s Christmas, every reader knows it’s Christmas, but how does Cody make that assumption? He knows next to nothing about Equestria.
As far as he knows, it could be a holiday related to a fireplace and that’s it. Considering the stupidly edgy attitude this fic has, it may as well been a remembrance of an old battle and that’s why everyone tries to be peaceful around this time.
He only assumes that so the plot can move along, is what I’m trying to say.
---
>he hates Christmas
Of course he does.
And I believe it was Beelzebot, the Robot Devil, who taught us that one can’t just announce how a character feels.
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>"What ever."
He just, like, doesn’t care.
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>He turned and headed for the door.
His desire for bits, apparently forgotten. Despite it being the only reason he agreed to help that mare.
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>The mare from before stopped him, "Thank you for helping me. It means a lot."
Speaking of help, couldn’t you have asked any of those stallions for help?
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>Cody rolled his eyes, "Yeah, I'm not free you know." He held up his hoof.
Yeah, but you were about to leave, had she not stopped you to thank you, you would have strolled right out.
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>She looked at him strangely, "But sir, its Hearth's Warming Eve."
I know, right? It’s almost as if it didn’t mean anything to him.
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>He glared at her, "I don't care."
Oh no, he doesn’t care about the Hearth's Warming Eve spirit. I wonder who will be Tiny Tim.
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>She looked down, "I don't have any bits sir. I used it to buy food for those poor ponies."
I am amazed Equestria doesn’t have a welfare program. Then again, they’re probably too busy tracking all the criminals they let loose.
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>Cody spit at her hoofs, "Useless bitch."
And at this point the other stallions would have beaten Cody senseless, but I guess the holiday spirit trumps common decency.
 
 
 
>>Lesson's Learned - Part 10
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>He then left with out a word, and anger on his face.
Why are you so mad? The mare never said she would pay you for helping her, you’re the one who decided to do that instead of going to Ponyville.
---
>He walked out on the street, even madder than he was before.
Really? ‘cause he seemed pretty chill, before. Unless you mean just a second ago.
---
>Stupid bitch, asking for free labor. He'll deal with her later, after Lance.
Funny thing, this is the narrator speaking, not Cody.
---
>Cody twisted and began to head down the street again.
And not flying away to Ponyville, for some reason.
---
>He looked around him, every house had cheerful decorations on them.
It’s odd that this bothers him, since the houses in the episode didn’t have nearly as many decorations as an average Earth house during Christmas.
---
>It was disgusting, how could they be so damn happy. It just seems wrong to Cody.
Tense shifts aside, I thought Cody was mad at Lance and just generally didn’t care about anyone else, but it seems as if Kickass222urmom is Scrooge-ifying him just for the sake of the story.
Which shouldn’t surprise me, really.
---
>He shook his head and continued down the street in silence.
Sadly, he doesn’t remain like that for the rest of the fic.
---
>"Spare bits, please any spare bits." Said a poor looking unicorn sitting on the ground and holding a cup with his magic.
Someone who really doesn’t care about Christmas, Hearth’s Warming, or other people would simply keep walking, but they really have to drive Cody’s douchiness home so the following exchange happens.
---
>He looked at Cody, "Please kind sir, any spare bits?" He moved the cup to Cody.
Kid, Cody’s walking down the street with a sourpuss like no other, just ignore him.
---
>Cody swatted the cup out of the air, "Like I would give you anything. You'll be dead by morning any way."
I bet he doesn’t tip, either.
 
 
 
>>Lesson's Learned - Part 11
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>The unicorn looked down at the ground, "I'm sorry sir."
Hey, you lucked out, at least he didn’t kill you.
---
>Cody nodded, a stern look on his face, "You better be."
So… nobody was on the streets to see this and call him out on his assholery, or call a guard?
---
>Cody continued down the street.
And I continue not to care.
---
>"Oh, you poor dear. Here take this."
>Cody turned to see a mare, fully dressed in a fancy dress, dropping a large bag next to the unicorn.
It’s good to know not every unicorn in Canterlot is an entitled snob, despite what the main fic shows.
---
>The unicorn looked up and smiled, "Bless you ma'am."
Hey, random thought.
Why isn’t this kid in the orphanage/shelter? He’s just a couple of houses from there anyway.
---
>The mare nodded, "Your welcome sir."
“My welcome? Gee, ma’am, thank you.”
---
>She turned to Cody, "You should be ashamed of your self!"
Of course he should, but mistreating random begger kids is probably at the bottom of the list of reasons.
---
>Cody just shrugged, "Why should I? He's not worth the trouble."
He’s not worth helping, but he is worth kicking.
---
>She stomped her hoof, "He is worth the trouble! All the poor ponies deserve help!”
“But I won’t take him to the shelter just a couple of strides from here, that’d be too much help.”
---
>”What if that was you, sitting on a curb in the cold night."
Probably some plot contrivance would help him.
---
>Cody glared at her, "That was me once. I use to be poor and living on the streets. My life is a living nightmare."
Yeah, but that was your fault. And your dad’s. and your aunt’s.
Your family is just all around stupid, really.
---
>She walked over to him, "Then you should be kind to the other ponies, they deserve better.”
I agree.
---
>”Like you do."
I do not agree.
---
>He shook his head, "I don't deserve anything, especially kindness."
It’s nice to know he at least recognises it.
 
 
 
>Lesson's Learned - Part 12
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>She reached into her saddlebag and pulled out a scarf.
Don’t get your hopes up, she doesn’t strangle Cody with it.
---
>She then wrapped it around his neck, "Everypony deserves kindness. Even you."
I like the sentiment, ma’am, but this guy is a violent killer hell-bent on revenge.
---
>Cody rolled his eyes, "Kindness is for the weak and poor." He twisted around and walked away from the mare and unicorn.
And yet, you keep the scarf.
---
>"Let kindness into your heart sir. It will make your life so much better." Yelled the mare.
You’re kinda right, but do you have to be so preachy? There’s no way he’s gonna listen to you like that.
---
>Cody kept walking, "The day I do that is the day I die."
I’ll hold you up to that.
---
>He turned a corner and began walking down a new street.
Is he going somewhere? We were never told, right now he’s just wandering aimlessly through Canterlot.
---
>What did she know? He didn't need kindness to survive. It was useless.
Is it clear that Cody is bitter by this point? If it’s not, don’t worry, I’m sure the fic will keep hammering that point for a while.
---
>The scarf around his neck was warm and soft. Something he didn't care for.
I-it’s not as if he liked it, or anything…
Baka!
---
>He shook his head, what is with all the ponies? Why are they so nice and loving? Its just weird.
Ahg, please bring the moral of the story already, I’m getting sick of his angst.
---
>He walked in silence for ten minutes, barely paying attention to his surroundings.
Any real reason why whatever is about to happen couldn’t happen ten minutes ago? No? Ok, just checking.
---
>As he walked, a door a few houses down opened, light pouring out and onto the street.
Ten minutes later, Cody finally stumbles onto the plot.
 
 
 
>>Lesson's Learned - Part 13
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A young colt ran out, tears streaking down his face. A mare followed him out.
Oh, look! A family with issues on Hearth’s Warming Eve! This seems like a job for Cody, the Serial Killer!
---
>"Pipes, wait!" The mare yelled.
Ok, judging by the cover image, I’m going to assume she’s talking to Pipsqueak. So, it’s possible she may have meant to say “Pips, wait!”
Which means that the one time Kickass222urmom used autocorrect it’s the one time when it wasn’t a mistake.
---
>The colt stopped and turned, "She's dead mom! Grandma's dead!" He said as he collapsed to the ground crying.
His grandma died on Hearth’s Warming Eve?
Jesus Christ, this is Little Fawn all over again, is his dad working overtime in the coal mines?
---
>The mare walked over and rubbed his back, "She died happy Pipes. It was her time."
This is the second time it happens, did he really not notice that it changed to “Pipes”?
Eh, what I’m talking about, of course he did.
---
>He shook his head, "No! She didn't have to die tonight! Not on Hearth's Warming Eve! This is suppose to be the happiest day of the year!"
But if she died in any other day, Cody wouldn’t Have gotten the opportunity of meddling.
---
>She stroked his mane, "I know honey. But, she would have wanted you to be happy."
With her dying? What kind of awful reassurance is that?
---
>He looked up at her, tears rolling down his cheeks, "Why would she want me to be happy about her dieing?"
Because Kickass222urmom doesn’t know how to write good parenting.
---
>The mare shook her head, "Not because she died, but because your young and still have a lot to live for."
“Except for grandma, because she’s dead now.”
---
>He jumped up and hugged her, "I miss her."
>The mare nodded, tears on her face also, "I know honey, me too. Let's get back inside, its to cold to stand around outside."
He used “too” correctly, but five words later, he used it incorrectly.
 
 
 
>>Lesson's Learned - Part 14
---
>He nodded, "Okay mom."
You got over the pain pretty quickly, kid.
---
>The mare lead him back in the house, closing the door behind them.
And that was it, hopefully something good will come out of Cody watching this, or we will put this one under “padding” as well.
---
>Cody looked at the door. He remembers when his dad died.
These feel kinda disjointed, probably due to the tense shift, or due to my intense hatred for these characters.
---
>He didn't have a mom to comfort him, just himself. A tear formed in his eye at the memory.
You mean he didn’t have any friends either? Damn...
---
>He continued walking, trying to remove the memory from his thoughts.
Focus on killing Lance, that should help.
---
>A stallion up the road was huddled up against the side of a building, shivering.
>Cody walked past him and stopped. He looked back at the stallion.
Old Cody would have probably lit him on fire to stave off the cold; Christmas redemption story Cody, however...
---
>He walked over to him and pulled off the scarf that the mare had given him, "Take this, it will help keep you warm." He said as he dropped the scarf on the stallion.
Hopefully this good action redeems Cody after ruining the lives of so many ponies.
---
>The stallion looked up and smiled, a tear in his eye, "Thank you kind sir."
>Cody rolled his eyes, "Yeah yeah, just take the scarf and be happy."
If a scarf is all it took to make him tear up, he must have had a pretty horrible life.
---
>The stallion picked up the scarf and wrapped it around his neck. "Thank you so much."
>Cody turned and sighed, "Yeah, what ever." He walked away from the stallion.
We get it, the homeless pony is thankful and Cody is trying to play it off.
---
>He shook his head, what was he thinking! Giving that stallion that scarf! What was he thinking?
Well, it’s pretty out of character for you, so I must assume you did it so the plot could be moved along.
 
 
 
>>Lesson's Learned - Part 15
---
>He sighed. It did feel good to give the stallion that scarf.
Did it? Because he seemed to be pretty pissed just a sentence ago.
---
>It gave him a warm feeling in his chest that he hasn't felt in years.
Funny, helping that mare earlier didn’t make him feel warm and fuzzy.
So I guess Cody is already on his way to redemption, so things should start to pi--Oh, God I’m not even halfway through.
---
>He came to the edge of the town.
…
Nah, that’s too easy, even for me.
---
>Time to take to the skies.
Oh, NOW is time to take to the skies.
Why not before? It seems like you could have saved a lot of time. You didn’t want to break Canterlot’s aerial code? You’re okay with murder, but flying in a residential area is crossing the line?
---
>He flapped his wings and jumped into the air. He began to sore through the skies.
Alright, onto Ponyville it is.
Sadly, I know Cody won’t succeed in his mission to kill Lance, and only will get emasculated later on.
---
>The warm feeling in his chest still there. It was starting to annoy him.
Dive into the snow, that should help.
---
>A grey Pegasus flew below him, carrying a mailbag.
I don’t think anyone will mind spoilers for an LtD story, more so for something that I already covered in the main riff, so I’m ust gonna blurt it out.
Cody and Derpy end up together.
There you go, now you can brace yourselves for what will come.
---
>Cody shook his head and looked straight ahead. Content on staying on course to Ponyville.
What can you say of a story when the reader actively roots for the antagonist?
---
>A few grunts could be heard below him.
That may be my morale, getting kicked by this story.
---
>He looked down to see the Pegasus struggling.
Is Equestria’s delivery system so understaffed that they have Derpy doing deliveries? Or did they give everyone the day off because of Hearth’s Warming Eve, except her?
 
 
 
>>Lesson's Learned - Part 16
---
>He let out a sigh and slowly flew down to the grey Pegasus.
Oh, I wonder what will he do.
---
>When he neared, he noticed the Pegasus was a mare with a blond mane and tail.
How did he only notice that when he got near?
If he could make out that she had a gray coat, how could he not see the blond mane and tail? Were they hidden under some sort of clothing? Then how can he see them now?
---
>She looked up, her eyes were crossed,
Of course they were.
---
>"Uhhh, I could use a little help. I don't think I can make it my delivery."
I’m going to cut Kickass some slack and say that he didn’t intentionally wrote the extra pronoun to make Derpy sound dumb, but rather just to make himself sound dumb.
---
>Cody glided down next to her, "I guess I could help."
Yes, you could.
But Old Cody would have gutted you for considering.
Dear God, I’m using one of the OC’s of Living the Dream in a positive way, what’s wrong with me?
---
>And get paid.
This confuses me, because up until this story greed wasn’t a driving motive for Cody, he just cared about revenge.
It’s almost as if Kickass222urmom was twisting this character to fit the narrative he had in his head.
---
>She smiled, "Thank you so much. Those bags get heavy after a few miles."
I still find it hard to believe that with a high unicorn population, Equestria hasn’t figured out a better widespread mail and delivery system.
---
>She stopped flying and so did Cody.
Then, they both plunged into the ground.
The End.
I wish, I’m still just 1,6k words in and I still have 2,4k left.
---
>She handed him her mailbags and he put them on, "Where to then. And hurry, I have an important matter to attend to."
“But not as important as to not help random people on my way there.”
 
 
 
>>Lesson's Learned - Part 17
---
>She nodded and smiled, "Right this way please." She began flying to the west, towards a large forest. Cody sighed and followed.
I know, Cody, I too am not impressed by the sheer amount of coincidences that will lead you to Ponyville anyway.
---
>Soon, the mare landed outside of a cottage. She walked up to the door and knocked, "Knock knock, any pony home?"
Does it really matter if someone’s home? Can’t you just slip the letters under the door?
---
>The door opened and a yellow mare walked out,
Oh, Fluttershy, I was hoping we could avoid any main cast in this fic.
Seems like it was foolish of me to be hopeful.
As usual...
---
>"Oh, Dizzy. What brings you to my home?" She said in a soft voice.
What do you think Fluttershy?
Also, why is she called “Dizzy” and not “Ditzy”? I remember she was called Derpy in the main fic.
---
>The mare, who appeared to be Dizzy, smiled, "I have a letter for you."
>The yellow mare smiled sweetly, "You do?"
Does this really come off as a surprise?
---
>Dizzy smiled brightly, "Yep!" She turned to Cody, "Could you bring me the mailbag please?"
>Cody sighed and walked over. Dizzy reached in and pulled out a letter, "Here ya go Fluttershy."
Wouldn’t it have been better if you already had the letter out?
But I guess if Derpy had done the right mailmare thing to do, Fluttershy wouldn’t have been able to recognise Cody.
---
>Fluttershy took the letter and smiled, "Thank you Dizzy." She looked at Cody and looked slightly scared, "Oh, hello."
A natural reaction when you see the pony that broke into a party and tried to kill your best friend’s boyfriend.
---
>Cody rolled his eyes, "Hi."
“I’m the guy that tried to kill Lance twice, and killed dozens of other ponies in the process. I’m free now, and still want revenge.”
 
 
 
>>Lesson's Learned - Part 18
---
>Fluttershy cocked her head, "You seem depressed and unhappy."
He’s an OC in a Kickass222urmom story, of course he’s depressed and unhappy, he’s dead inside.
---
>Cody shook his head, "Nope, I'm as happy as a flower."
Which is an inanimate object that can’t express happiness.
---
>She shook her head, "Somethings wrong, I can tell."
I shook my head, “Please just get to the part where he stops being evil.”
---
>Cody exhaled loudly, "Fine, yeah. I'm unhappy, so what?"
Exactly! So what? You don’t care, I don’t care, nobody cares!
---
>Her face looked concerned, "I'm sorry."
Don’t be, Fluttershy, all of this is entirely Cody’s fault.
---
>She walked over and hugged him, "I always find a hug as the best treatment sometimes for sadness."
Does she not recognise him? The killer? Wasn’t she at the party that one time? You’d think that Lance or Twi would at least mention the times they were attacked by that one guy. At least you’d expect Lance to boast about it.
---
>Cody blinked. No one had ever cared for his feelings before.
Yes they have, but you always shunned them. I guess now was the time for you to accept it.
---
>Or hugged him for that matter.
It may have something to do with your tendency of killing ponies. You should work on that.
---
>A tear rolled down his cheek.
Y’know what they say about serial killers, they’re big softies on the inside.
---
>She backed away, "Please come in. You can come too if you want Dizzy."
A murderer, this guy is one. Does she really not know this?
---
>Dizzy shook her head, "No, I have to many things to do. Thanks anyways Fluttershy." She pulled the Mailbags off Cody's back, "Thank you for the help."
I doubt one letter will make much of a difference in the weight of the bag.
 
 
 
>>Lesson's Learned - Part 19
---
>Cody just nodded, at a lost for words. He was experiencing emotions and feelings he hadn't felt in years.
Yeah, it must feel weird to experience character development, even one as forced as this one.
---
>Fluttershy took his hoof, "Come on. I'll make you something to drink."
Sadly, it’s not a cup full of bleach.
---
>He nodded and followed her in. She lead him to a chair, where he sat.
Oh, good. For a second I thought he would try to drink the chair.
---
>Her house was decorated to go along with the holiday. Their was heart's on the walls and heart shaped decorations around the room.
Okay, I want to ask something, because I genuinely want to know.
Isn’t Heath’s Warming Eve related to, y’know, hearths? The floor of a fireplace? Because I’ve seen a lot of people using hearts for fics that take place around this holiday.
Wouldn’t hearts be more appropiate for, y’know, Hearts and Hooves Day?
---
>Usually, this would have made Cody gag, but something felt different somehow.
Now he is serving a higher master, the plot.
---
>He was seeing everything a little bit different.
What, exactly, prompted this? Just a couple of acts of tame kindness?
Apparently, he was just one “I love you” away from becoming a saint.
---
>Fluttershy disappeared into the kitchen, leaving him alone.
You’d think everyone in Equestria would be more wary of strangers since the OC’s started to appear.
---
>Why was she being nice to him?
Because she’s the Element of Kindness, it’s Hearth’s Warming Eve, and she doesn’t seem to know that you’re a serial killer.
---
>She doesn't even know him?
I am as surprised as you are.
---
>She returned with a cup of something with steam coming off it. She sat it down next to him and smiled, "Hot chocolate. Careful, its hot."
Hence the name.
---
>He smiled lightly, something he didn't usually do
I bet he only smiled darkly before that.
 
 
 
>>Lesson's Learned - Part 20
---
>He took a sip and let the sweet taste wash over his tongue.
“This sensation was closely followed by a burning one, since his taste buds were being incinerated by the hot beverage.”
---
>He sat back and relaxed.
Sadly, I can’t do that until all of this is over.
---
>Fluttershy sat down across from him, "Why are you unhappy?"
Because his life is full of bad decisions and he keeps blaming others.
---
>Cody looked down at the floor, "Long story."
“My family is full of idiots who don’t know how money works.”
See? That wasn’t too long.
---
>She leaned forwards, "I have time."
Actually, my family is waiting for me to carve the turkey, so if you could hurry, I’d appreciate it.
---
>He chuckled, "Yeah, well I don't. I'll shorten it for you."
You don’t have to, I already did.
---
>She nodded, "Okay then, please tell."
Oh, sure.
The tumor in my brain wasn’t large enough, please repeat your absurdly dumb backstory.
---
>He took a gulp and sat the cup down, "I haven't been happy for a long time. Thanks to a guy named Lance. He pretty much killed my parents."
And the Academy of Fine Arts of Vienna caused World War II
---
>She looked concerned, "How?"
I’m amazed she doesn’t argue the possibility that Lance killed Cody’s parents, but just wants to know how.
I know she probably doesn’t realise it’s the same Lance, but it’s still fun.
 
 
 
>>Lesson's Learned - Part 21
---
>Cody grunted, "Its his fault for being mugged."
But that doesn’t make a lick of se--
---
>Fluttershy tilted her head, "Does that make sense to you?"
Wait…
Is someone in the Living-verse acting rationally, and asking others to do the same?
---
>"It..." He began but stopped. It doesn't make sense to him.
Oh, my God! This is actually happening!
---
>How could it have been Lance's fault? He couldn't help being mugged.
I can’t believe it, it’s happening!
---
>"It doesn't make sense."
Oh, God…
Anons, hold me.
I can’t believe this is actually happening. I thought my luck had ran out when Dana realised she should leave Lance to live his own life.
I didn’t think anyone would come to a logical conclusion ever again in this fic.
I now believe in Christmas Miracles, even though I know Cody is going to go back to being an angsty dick until the end of the fic, I don’t care
Cody realised he was wrong.
I am so happy.
---
>She smiled, "Then you can forgive Lance, right? Since he didn't do anything?"
Well, there’re 1,6k words left, so I’m going to say “not yet”.
---
>Cody looked up and over at her. Could he forgive Lance? He shook the thought out of his head, "No, I can not."
Figures.
But you know something? I don’t care. I am happy now.
---
>He stood, "I have to go, I have a important meeting."
“A meeting between Lance and a knife.”
---
>Fluttershy stood, "You must forgive him! Think about it, he didn't really do anything."
Angst has taken control over Cody once again, so I guess that won’t happen yet.
---
>Cody walked to the door, "I could never forgive him." He opened the door and left.
You didn’t even say good bye. I don’t think you even finished the tea.
Rude...
---
>He walked down the dirt road, furious at himself for even considering forgiving Lance.
“I kept reading, furious at myself for even considering having hope.”
 
 
 
>>Lesson's Learned - Part 22
---
>He had vowed to end Lance's life and he was going to stick to it.
This fic is nothing but empty promises.
---
>He rubbed his face with his hoof and continued down the road. Listening to the sounds of the forest.
Is there any reason why he couldn’t go straight to Ponyville? There’s a road that goes from Fluttershy’s cottage directly to town.
---
>As he walked out of the forest and into the clearing, he could see Ponyville. Only a few minutes walk.
So, there was no real reason for these last two lines. Great.
---
>He grinned. Only a few more minutes till he gets his revenge.
Only a few more minutes until the forced redemption.
---
>He picked up his pace.
I wonder what are the chances of him going straight to Lance and avoid more padding.
---
>Upon entering the town, he was greeted by a mare that was white with a purple mane and tail.
Slim, the chances were very slim.
---
>She looked him over and smiled, "Hello, I don't believe we've meet darling."
Did neither Lance or Twi seriously tell anyone about the dangerous lunatic who tried to kill Lance twice?
---
>Cody grunted, "We haven't."
And that should be the end of it.
---
>She nodded, still smiling, "Well darling, my name is Rarity." She held out a hoof.
Is Rarity going to say “darling” in every line of dialogue she has?
---
>Cody looked at her hoof, he then shook it, "Names Cody. Now, I have to go, I have an important meeting."
And Rarity should understand this, seeing as she probably has important meetings of her own all the time.
---
>She looked him over again and frowned, "You look sad darling, are you okay?"
It may have something to do with you preventing him from going to his meeting.
Also, stop it with the “darling”.
---
>Cody sighed, "I'm fine. I must go." He began to walk around her, but she stopped him.
Hearth’s Warming Eve, the season of meddling.
 
 
 
>>Lesson's Learned - Part 23
---
>"I'm not letting you leave till you tell me what has you down." She said with a determined stare.
Well, everyone uses “till” instead of “until”, that’s one thing.
---
>Cody sighed, defeated. He told her the whole story with Lance and the money. When he finished, she stood confused.
Why is everyone so confused?
Cody and his family are full of idiots, it looks very simple to me.
---
>"How is it his fault? Wouldn't it be your fault for helping him?" She asked confused.
No it wouldn’t, it’d be his dad’s fault for asking money for a loan shark instead of the aunt, who had the money anyway, and it was the aunt’s fault for making a god damned check.
---
>She has a point.
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally?
---
>The more he thinks about it, the more it sounds wrong.
That pretty much sums the Living-verse.
---
>"No! It's his fault, all his fault."
“And I don’t wanna eat my vegetables!”
---
>She shook her head, "I think that you just needed somepony to blame. Think about it. Do you truly believe its his fault?"
Since he’s incapable of admitting his own blame, and his family’s, yes, he does believe that.
---
>He thought about what she said.
Twice in a single fic?
Santa, you spoil me.
---
>She continued, "Shouldn't you be blaming the one who stole from you and not the one you saved?"
But the mugger didn’t even know you had a check on you.
---
>She had a point, a very good point. Shouldn't he be mad at the mugger?
No, he should be mad at his stupid, stupid family.
---
>Cody sighed, "I have to go." He turned and began heading down the street.
Yes, please. Hurry things up.
---
>"Please think about what I've told you." She yelled after him.
Did Cody mention that he wanted to kill Lance? Because that should have rang some alarm bells inside of Rarity’s head.
---
>He walked down the road towards the library. His mind alive with thoughts.
In contrast with the constant flatlining brain that characterises the OC’s.
 
 
 
>>Lesson's Learned - Part 24
---
>He approached the library. First to make sure he's there.
Is Lance still living there? When is this side story supposed to be taking place in reference to the original timeline?
---
>Cody made his way to a window and peered in.
And he remained unnoticed, somehow.
---
>Inside, he saw a purple unicorn, who he knew was Twilight Sparkle, Lance's Fiancee, sitting on a couch. He couldn't see Lance, bu the knew he was there.
Unless it was one of those times when Lance flat out leaves everyone and goes dicking around Equestria.
---
>Then, Lance walked out of another room and made his way over to Twilight. When he was next to her, he sat down next to her and kissed her.
I sincerely hope this doesn’t become a voyeuristic scene.
---
>He then began to rub her stomach, which was slightly large.
Quick,Cody! Attack! Spare the world from Lance’s offspring!
---
>Cody looked at them strangely. Twilight was pregnant with Lance's child?
Hey, she could have probably eaten a lot on the holidays.
---
>He hadn't known this before.
I would imagine you couldn’t have known this “before”, you’re only seeing it now.
---
>Memory's began to flood into Cody's mind. Happy ones, sad ones.
Memories of a time before “Living the Dream”. Lucky you.
---
>A tear rolled down his face. He shook his head, he knew what must be done.
Commit suicide to spare yourself from the pain?
---
>Cody ran to the front door and opened it. He ran in and stood ten feet away from Lance.
If Cody was let out, shouldn’t Twi and Lance have been warned? At least so they could take some safety measures? No? Alright.
---
>Lance jumped up, eyes filled with fear, "Cody!"
And you react just now?
Also, why are your eyes filled with fear? You’re near omnipotent.
---
>Cody stared at Lance. He didn't feel anger or hatred.
Is it contempt?
---
>He felt something he never thought he would when face to face with Lance.
It’s contempt, isn’t it?
 
 
 
>>Lesson's Learned - Part 25
---
>He felt regret.
Eh, close enough, I guess.
---
>Cody's knee's gave out and he collapsed to the floor sobbing, "Lance, I'm... I'm... sorry."
Well, about bloody time, now we can--There are a thousand wods left!? God damn it!
---
>Lance looked down at him in shock, "What?"
I know! How else are you going to drag this?
---
>Cody jumped up at Lance, wrapping his hooves around his neck in a tight hug, "Please... I'm sorry."
Hey, Lance, just a fair warning, he’s still the guy who killed a dozen trained guards.
---
>Lance was taken back by Cody's dramatic change in attitude. "Uhhh..."
Which, as far as you know, could be a trap.
---
>Cody cried into Lance's shoulder, "I'm sorry Lance. I'm sorry I blamed you for everything." He let go of Lance and fell to the floor, "Please forgive me."
Old Cody would have stabbed everyone in the room several times already.
---
>Lance scratched the back of his head. He then looked deep in thought, "Cody."
“The answer is no, you’re a danger to Equestria and have killed dozens of ponies and ruined many families lives. Now go to the center of the Earth with Fred’s dad.”
---
>Cody looked up, eyes pleading.
The tension is killing me. It’s not as if the outcome of the story was visible from the Title, or anything.
---
>Lance continued, "I can't forgive what you've done."
Hooray! Another sensible decision!
---
>Cody hung his head, "But, I'm willing to give you a chance to prove to me your sorry."
But why does it have to be his sorry?
---
>Cody looked up at Lance, tears running down his face, "Thank you Lance, thank you so much."
Yeah, yeah. now go get your mailpony job and hook up with Derpy.
---
>Lance looked down at him
Oh, get off your high horse, Lance, he already apologised.
---
>"Your welcome."
It’s mine? You shouldn’t have bothered.
---
>Cody stood and whipped his face with his hoof, "Is there anything I can do to prove it."
How about no more killing?
 
 
 
>>Lesson's Learned - Part 26
---
>Lance rubbed his chin with his hoof, deep in though, "I can't think of anything. But, you can start by being nice to ponies."
Well, I guess that works too...
---
>Cody smiled weakly, "I'll get on it right now. Thank you Lance."
There you go, can we end this now?
---
>Lance smiled, and held up his hoof.
>Cody looked at his hoof and gulped. He reached out and shook it.
Great! They made amends! That means the fic is over, right?
---
>Twilight stood, "I know. How about you go back to everypony you was mean to and do something nice."
And how about you go back to school and learn some basic conjugation, Twi?
---
>Cody nodded, "Good idea, I know a few."
“The families of those ponies I killed surely will love to see me!”
---
>He turned and went for the door.
There’s less than one thousand words left, you’re not really going to visit all the ponies you wronged, right?
---
>"Good luck Cody." Lance said behind him.
>Cody turned and grinned, "Thanks."
Yeah, we’ll all need it...
---
>He went out the door and jumped in the air. He then took to the wind and flew towards Canterlot.
It’d be hilarious if he went after that homeless stallion and took back his scarf.
---
>He was going to fix a wrong he had done tonight.
Now if only we could get Lance to fix all the wrong he has done to Equestria.
---
>After a few minutes of flying at a high speed, he landed out side of a familiar alleyway. He took a deep breath and walked down the alley.
Does saying you’re sorry require more courage than killing indiscirminately?
---
>He stepped up to the door and gulped, he then knocked on it.
>A mare came to the door and frowned, "Why are you here?"
>Cody looked down, "I wanted to apologize for earlier."
“All that breaking your door, the presents, and calling you a bitch. Water under the river and all that, right?"
 
 
 
>>Lesson's Learned - Part 27
---
>She looked him over, "Whats your angle?"
>He shook his head, "No angle, I'm just sorry about earlier." He held out his hoof, "Do you forgive me?"
The tension is so thick you could cut it with a spoon.
---
>She looked at him and then his hoof. She bit her lower lip and shook his hoof, "I guess."
>Cody smiled, "Thank you."
Are they not going make him pay for the door? He broke it off its hinges.
---
>She shrugged, "Sure." She then turned and closed the door.
Cody turned and sighed, might as well go back to the library. Tonight wasn't going to get any better.
What about the kid whose coin cup you threw away?
I’m sure he’d appreciate the apology.
---
>Cody stood in the corner of the room of the Hearth's Warming Eve party at the library.
Everyone has apparently forgotten about all those ponies he killed, and the time he broke into a party with the intention of killing Lance.
---
>Over in the corner of the room was a purple Pegasus playing a guitar. The tone was catchy.
Oh, right. Peter, the quote, unquote prankster and guitar player.
---
>Cody sighed, all alone.
You mean nobody want to spend time with the psycho?
---
>Lance walked over to Cody and smiled, "Come on Cody, its a party. Enjoy your self."
For someone who “can’t forgive him for what he’s done”, Lance is acting pretty forgivingly.
---
>Cody shook his head, "I can't."
>Lance looked at him strangely, "Why can't you?"
Because Kickass222urmom still wants to milk some angst out of him before the fic is over.
---
>Cody looked around the room and back to Lance, "How can I? Everypony in this room is happy. I can't be happy."
I think my clothes spontaneously became black and My Chemical Romance started playing on the background.
---
>Lance walked over and put a hoof on Cody's shoulder, "Cody, you can be happy. But only if you let your self be happy."
Actually, it’s more or less a matter of Kickass222urmom’s mood.
 
 
 
>>Lesson's Learned - Part 28
---
>Cody hung his head, "I want to let my self be happy, but I can't. I've done to much to be happy."
That may be the case, but since you’re the main character of this side-fic, I’m sure your protagonist powers will pull you through.
---
>Lance looked to be thinking about something, "Cody, I forgive you."
Because Kickass already got tired and want to wrap things up.
---
>He looked up, shocked, "Why?"
>Lance shrugged, "You seem sorry about everything you've done. I think that earns my forgiveness."
“Who cares about all those ponies you murdered and the countless lives you ruined?”
---
>Cody smiled, "Really?"
>Lance nodded, "Yes, it does. Now how about we go and enjoy this party."
Whatever, I already lost any investment on this story.
---
>Cody walked up beside him, "I would like that Lance."
>Lance put a hoof over his shoulder, "Come on, lets party."
And then, everyone forgot about Cody’s horrible past of blood and murder.
---
>Cody smiled brightly. His life had been filled with misery and pain.
Self-inflicted, may I add.
---
>But tonight, it seemed to all fade away. Things were starting to change for him.
Things do not change as much as they abruptly make a 180 turn, and everything is happiness for him, he hasn’t actually done anything to deserve happiness besides saying sorry once.
---
>Life was starting to look good for Cody Benson.
One could say he started to live the dream.
…
Oh, forget it. I’m just glad the story is over
---
>For my readers, I may or may not update, 'Living the dream' today.
Oh no, what would I do if you weren’t to continue your amazing story.
---
>This took a lot of work
Since this story was just above the average of shitiness of LtD, I will believe it did take a lot of work.
---
>and being in the hospital doesn't help.
There are many people who stay in hospitals for years, fighting everyday to stay alive, and yet this guy made it.
---
 
 
 
Well, that about wraps up the LtD Christmas Special: Lesson's Learned.
 
And what did I learn?
 
Well, that Kickass222urmom is a talentless hack, but I already knew that. Also that he flat out doesn't care about quality, but then again, I knew that too. And there's something that could be said about the taste of the average FiMFiction user, but then again, what'd be the point?
 
I guess this means I'm done with LtD, for this year at least. I hope you all liked it, and those who didn't, thanks for bearing with my ramblings and just ignoring me, your tolerance means more than you think.
 
Either way, I just want to say thanks and see you next year.
