Title:           LtD 72-73
Author:          notkickass222urmom
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/qxbuYuUg
First Edit:      Saturday 24th of May 2014 07:07:19 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Saturday 24th of May 2014 07:07:19 PM CDT

>>Chapter 72 - Part 5
…
> I flew through [the window]... only to see a large ruler being swung at me.
You’ve been thrown through walls and there was no problem. Do you want us to believe that a ruler is seriously—
…
> [It] sent me flying back into the class room, where Mr. Bleak caught me.
God damn it…
…
> I nearly screamed at his smiling face, "How did you do that?!"
> He chuckled, "I just did it."
Because descriptions are beneath this fic.
…
> He then threw me, yeah I said threw me, across the room to my previous seat.
This isn’t technically narration, Kickass222urmom is speaking to the reader.
…
> I looked back, "But, how did you get out side, then back in here that fucking fast?"
Magic? I know he’s a Pegasus, but weirder stuff has happened.
…
> He shrugged, and smiled in a weird, sexual way.
Are you trying to portray him as a pedophile?
…
> [Oh God! He's going to rape us!]
All of these are the self inserts of the commenters and “friends” of Kickass22urmom, that means that a) Someone asked Kickass to use his shitty OC, and he decided to turn him into a pedophile or b) Someone asked Kickass to us his shitty OC as a pedophile teacher.
And I don’t know which is worst.
…
> I jumped up and ran towards the door. Only to be met with the same ruler to the face the second I stepped outside.
Yeah, this seems to imply that Mr. Bleak can teleport.
…
Lance proceeds to run away and get hit with the same ruler an additional five times.
…
> He continued to smile, "Have we learned out lesson?"
Of course he hasn’t you hadn’t let him go out.
…
> *Raging Breaking Dawn mode!*
“I went RBD on three kids and nobody cared, why should beating a teacher be any different?”
 
 
 
>>Chapter 72 - Part 6
…
> I stood, my eyes burning with rage, my hooves burning with the desire to cause pain, "You are going to pay for that one!"
I ‘want’ to say that it’s his fault for getting detention, and that he has to deal with he had coming, but…
No, wait. I ‘am’ saying that.
Regardless, why did the school hire such an evil looking Pegasus to take care of the four year olds and allow him to dole physical punishments?
…
> He chuckled, amused, "I like this side of you."
God damn it, this guy is creepy.
…
> I screamed in rage and jumped forward, hoof ready to hit his smug face.
“There is no way this will get me in trouble!”
…
> *BLAM* *CRASH* *SNAP* *CRASH* * CRASH* *BLAM* *Thud*
I am amazed that Kickass had the restrain to not just say “seventeen minutes later” or something like that and actually attempt to write an implied fight.
Also, why is every onomatopoeia capitalized except “Thud”?
…
> My vision was blurred, and my head swam. I looked around the room, now destroyed.
Well done, Lance. Where will the colts and fillies learn things now?
…
> Damn, he's fast... and fucking strong! He caught me in mid air and after that, all I remember is the room blurring around me as I was slammed into random objects.
Normally, once it’s been established that the main character is strong and there are even stronger enemies coming in the future, there always some sort of explanation as to why they are stronger, even if it is completely half-assed.
Kickass222urmom seems to use the Brandonking school of power scales, where the next enemy is simply more powerful because while the main character has a five hundred septillion megaton kik, the bad guy has a six hundred ‘octillion’ megaton kick.
…
> I stood and saw him still smiling, "Now, are you ready to obey?"
“And call me ‘Master’?”
 
 
 
>>Chapter 72 - Part 7
…
> [He knocked us out of Raging Breaking Dawn... I need to lie down.]
Why? You’re not a real pony, you’re a metaphysical manifestation of Lance’s broken mind, how can you get tired?
…
> I turned back and my mouth hung open. The room was back to normal.
So the ultra-powerful, creepy, pedofile-ish Mr. Bleak can also alter reality.
Or was it all an illusion?
…
> I gulped and sat where he told me.
> He then sat across from me, ruler placed in front of him.
Oooooooh, I wonder what shenanigans will ensue.
…
> "So, Mr. Ble..."
> *Smack*
I am all for Lance getting beaten, but this is getting old.
…
> "Stop that!"
> *Smack*
Ok, I’m skipping over this; it’s just Lance speaking and Mr. Bleak cutting him mid-sentence with the ruler, after all, it’s onl—What!? There’s almost a full page of this!
God damn it, Kickass222urmom!
…
> He smiled, "Let's lay down some rules. No talking, no eating, no leaving your seat, and do not touch my ruler."
Oh, I see it now. Lance won’t conform to these rules and he’ll get beaten into submission.
…
> I nodded, "Got it..."
> *Smack*
You had that one coming.
…
> He reached under his desk, "Wanna cookie?"
“We can biscuit later.”
Oh, God. Is this some sort of lame innuendo? I hope it was just Kickass222urmom’s awful grammar.
…
> [*Yawn* What did I miss... HOLY FUCKING SHIT! A COOKIE!]
You just send Break to sleep less than three hundred words ago just so he could wake up and get that cookie?
And really, wouldn’t the several hits wake him up?
…
> *SMACK*
> "NO EATING IN CLASS!" He yelled, a smile still on his face.
Technically you’re not in class.
…
> Mr. Bleak dropped a pencil, "Can you get that please?"
Yeah, he’s going to hit you if you pick it up, and will probably hit you if you don’t pick it up for disobeying him.
 
 
 
>>Chapter 72 - Part 8
…
> [Oh come on Lance, he said please. Maybe we can get on his good side.]
You bumbling idiot, have you not been paying attention to, uh, anything Mr. Bleak has done!?
He hit you mere seconds ago; he couldn’t be more evil if his first name was Evil.
Oh, God. Is his first name “Evil”?
…
> Mr. Bleak walked up and held out his ruler, "Here, you can hit me if you want."
Sure he has been hitting you non-stop, and threw you through a wall again, but maybe this time he means it.
…
> I slowly backed away, I'm tired of this.
Great, so we can wrap this up now, and move on. We’re near the end so the—
…
> [PAY BACK!]
God damn it, Break.
…
> *KA-BOOOOOM*
Why is there a Kaboom? Rulers don’t make earth-shattering kabooms.
…
> I flew through the wall and kept going, barely conscious. I felt my self nearing the forest, good, I finally got away.
“I was hit on the head with enough force to send me all the way to the Everfree. Excellent!”
…
> When I sat up and my vision cleared, I screamed like a little girl.
Don’t belittle little girls, Lance. I’m sure they wouldn’t scream after seeing Mr. Bleak appear out of nowhere.
They would have died long ago due to the head trauma.
…
> I was back in the class room... but how?! I was knocked through the opposite wall and came in on the other side... that's not even possible!
You knocked through a wall and you’re still conscious. Obviously the normal laws of physics don’t apply.
…
> He put his hoof on my shoulder, "You are a stupid boy, aren't you?"
Hooves off, weirdo.
…
> “your tough. I'll give ya that." He pulled me to my hooves.
“The other kids start bleeding much earlier.”
…
> "Here, I'll cut you a deal. I'll let you leave detention now, but you have to agree to meeting up with me sometime after school."
Quick question, am I the only one getting these weird pedo vibes from Mr. Bleak?
 
 
 
>>Chapter 72 - Part 9
…
> "Because you want to get out. Detention won't be over till morning."
What? The school made students stay overnight with Mr. Bleak? How did they convince parents to let them do this?
Jesus Christ. He gets creepier by the second.
…
> "Oh, and one more thing." He said behind me.
“Don’t tell your parents”?
…
> "NO TALKING IN CLASS!"
> *Smack*
You’re not in class, you bastard!
…
> That guy is fucked up!
For once, you are right, Lance.
…
> [I know right! We didn't even do anything!]
> <YOU BROKE ALL HIS RULES!>
> [I did? Cool.]
Why does anyone put up with Break? He’s a complete moron and a douche. Even more than Lance.
…
> I'm not getting detention again, that's for sure.
Don’t worry, the only reason someone made you take responsibility for your actions was so Mr. Bleak could be introduced.
…
> [Come on Lance, we have to go get Greg so he can come to show and tell tomorrow!]
I doubt it’ll take much convincing.
…
> Tomorrow is going to be fucked up to the extreme!
I doubt it’ll be worse than, let’s say, anything that has happened so far. But I know better than to have hope.
…
Well, that wraps up chapter 72, and I have to say I’m amazed that Kickass222urmom failed to live up to his promise. Which promise? Well, look at the title.
>Detention, evil teachers, and drugs in the class room…. wow
Yeah, one of those was missing, wasn’t it? I guess that Kickass couldn’t finish the chapter the way he wanted it, so he just cut it short and didn’t bother to change the title.
 
 
 
>>Chapter 73 - Part 1
…
> Title: Mr. Stoner teacher man
I want to believe that Greg actually thinks in a series of loosely related words.
…
> I hate waking up early... especially to go to school.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO—Ugh, what’s the point?
…
> I smiled. Twilight was still in the bed, good. Maybe I can get some cuddling in before I have to leave.
Twilight is still sleeping with her colt husband, it seems.
…
> A smile formed on my face... but then it began to fade.
Weren’t you already smiling?
…
> I reached up and pulled the covers down. I then looked up at Twilight.... only to let out a terrified scream.
Hey, if Twilight can wake up to you every day and not scream in unending horror, then you can hold it in too.
…
> Mr. Bleak sat up and stretched out his forelegs. He then looked at me, a smile on his face, "Good morning Lance, how did you sleep?"
Ack! What the hell, man? Why is the detention overseer in bed with Lance? Four year old Lance, may I add.
…
> I just stared at the bed, a terrified look on my face, "W-Wha... why are you in my bed?! How did you get in my house?! Why?!"
Why were you in the same bed as a little kid?
…
> He then strolled around the bed and smiled down at me, "I have my ways."
Does that mean that this isn’t the first time you’ve done something like this?
Oh my God, this guy is creepy.
…
> "Now tell me, why was you in my bed?"
> He grinned, "Because I knew you would be creeped out."
Sure, tell that to the cops. I’m sure they’ll believe you.
…
> "... I hate you."
> He chuckled, "If you say so Lance."
What? How does he know his real name?
…
> He smiled, "That is best not answered."
What, too convoluted even for this story?
…
> “I know all about you. How you're not a pony, I know that you're married and have a kid, I know you're not a young colt, and I even know all about your life on earth."
Then you should know that he shouldn’t be going to school and you should leave him alone, right?
 
 
 
>>Chapter 73 - Part 2
…
> He smiled and tapped his head.
He… reads minds?
…
> {What did he do?}
<He copied our memories to his.... How?>
How do you know that’s what he did? Mind-reading sounds much more plausib—Oh, that’s why. Mind reading would have made too much sense.
…
> A sudden flash filled the room and I soon found myself looking at the school building.
Oh, just when we thought we could actually learn something about Mr. Bleak that isn’t deeply disturbing.
Hey, what happened to Twilight? Why would she agree to let Mr. Bleak do this? Did he tie her and threw her in the basement?
…
> [Greg] was dressed in a blue business suit with a black tie. His normally straight hair was combed up and held in place by what looked to be hair gel. He had on a pair of square glasses also.
Apparently, Lance beat up Greg so much that he became a nerd.
…
> To say the least, he looked like a modeled citizen... that's never going to happen.
And you say that despite it happening right now, in front of you.
…
Here’s what suited Greg looks like: http://i1094.photobucket.com/albums/i456/kurtisawsome/TeacherGreg.png
In case you thought normal Greg wasn't jarring enough. Though, truth be told, he just looks silly this way.
…
> He smiled and adjusted his glasses, "Well, you see my dear lad, I'm going to be a good stallion today and teach you children about life and business.
You know nothing about life and/or business. You spend your days slacking around and smoking pot, those are your character traits.
…
> I sighed, "You just ruined the day for me."
Weird, I thought that waking up next to a grown man that knew everything about you would ruin your day, but apparently sober Greg is worse.
…
> "I'm sorry my boy. Now come, lets get in there and show them what its like to work in business."
What do you know about business? Did the Cakes made you the manager of Sugar Cube corner after you started dating Pinkie?
