Title:           Capt. Anon
Author:          minion_of_Lulu
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/0RZRreQe
First Edit:      Monday 26th of November 2012 10:24:11 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Monday 26th of November 2012 10:24:11 PM CDT

>Day Race to Save the Equestria!
>You're driving in your P-Zero racer.
>You're tied for 1st.
>Spike the dragon is really your only competition.
>And you're his idol.
>He wants to be just like you.
>And you see he has potential.
>On the final lap.
>Everything goes smoothly...until the darkness came.
>In the sky was an evil yellow pegasus who wanted to destroy all of Equestria.
>But to do it, she needs your power.
>And she must rape you to attain it.
>And you weren't going to let that happen.
>Press a button, open up a two-way communication with Spike.
Sorry Spike, but this is where our competition ends.
>Spike gasps.
>"No, you can't do this Capt. Anon. Not alone."
>You shed a tear, your helmet hiding your tear-stained face.
Sorry, this is my fight. But I do know one thing.
>You turn to his car, giving your signature smile.
You willlive on my name as the new Capt. Anon. Don't let me dow, bro.
>"CAPTAIN ANON!! I WILL RAPE YOU AND TAKE OVER EQUESTRIA!!!"
 
>You give Spike a thumbs up and press the eject button.
>Song starts to play: http://youtu.be/h_SxVtf6Nk0
>Ejected into the sky.
THIS ENDS NOW EVILSHY!!!
>Evilshy is now divebombing towards you.
>"I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!! PREPARED TO GET RAPED!!!"
>You cock back your fist. You felt the power coursing though you!
>This is it, for the fate of P-Zero's future.
>No...
>For all of Equestria!
>ANON...PUNCHU!!!!!!
>Your helmet flies off, showing your manly [DATA EXPUNGED] colored eyes and [DATA EXPUNGED] hair.
>Your fiery fist of justice moves at the speed of light.
>The punch connected to Evilshy.
>Everyp0ny looks up into the sky.
>Celestia is hiding like a little bitch.
>Luna's home playing video games and shit.
>But all the other ponies stare in awe.
>Spike shouts from his racer.
>"CAPT. ANON!"
>Evilshy lights up like a Hearth's Warming Eve Tree.
>She can't believe this is happening, being destroyed by her rape target.
>"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" Light bursts through her eyes.
>You give one final smile.
>The both of you blow up in a huge explosion that could be seen many light years away.
 
>The dust settles.
>Spike wins the race.
>He becomes the next Capt. Anon.
>Gets all the bitches.
>Takes over the throne.
>Fucks Celestia and makes Twilight his slave.
>Luna still playing games.
>In space, your crest from your helmet is the only thing intact.
>It falls back to the land of Equestria on Spike's lap.
>Smiles as he thinks of you.
>"See ya around, great racer."
>Afterlife...
>You're now a pony.
>Evilshy is human.
>She fucks you silly.
>...At least you saved Equestria.