Title:           Hocus Pocus 3
Author:          jenseits
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/TRFiTSTu
First Edit:      Friday 11th of April 2014 12:37:05 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Friday 11th of April 2014 12:37:05 AM CDT

>It’s a lovely Thanksgiving spread this year.
>Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, rolls, KFC.
>Those little cheese bites your aunt brings that everyone pretends to like but really don’t.
>All of your family is present for once.
>Even Uncle Castro and Uncle Khrushchev, but you knew the only reason they showed up was to pick on Uncle John.
>Your mom speaks up.
>”Chris, would you like to say grace?”
>”Of course.”
>To your left, cousin Jericho stands up, and a mic descends from the ceiling.
>Oh great, is he going to yell it out again?
>He inhales.
>Yes he-
>”BREAK THE WALLS DOOOOOOOWWWWNNN.”
>Your eyes shoot open as you’re startled by what sounds like your alarm.
>In a daze, you look around for your phone, realizing it’s still in your pants under the bed.
>You reach down to turn it off.
“What the hell?…”
>Since when was that your alarm?
>It’s just supposed to buzz.
>Then you think about it, remembering when your friend took your phone the other day and said you needed something to inspire you in the morning.
“You jerk…”
>”I-I’m sorry?”
>That familiar feminine voice makes you look across the room, to one purple little pony.
 “Nonono not you Twilight! I’m sorry,  just thinking out loud.”
>”Oooh, ok. Whew, for a second there I thought you were mad I woke you up.”
“You didn’t, my phone did.”
>”That little device is an alarm too?”
“It’s a lot of cool things, most of which are useless here BUT I can still show yo-“
>Your phone beeps and then powers off.
>No battery.
“Or…not.  Oh well.”
>You sit in the bed and cup for face in your hands, groaning.
>Good God what a weird dream.
>”Are you ok?”
>Snap to.
“Yeah, yeah I’m good, just slept weird.”
>Right, speaking of weird dreams, like the one you’re in.
>”Spike made breakfast, we weren’t sure how long you sleep normally so we saved you some.”
“Great, thank you.”
>She smiles.
>Something…seems off.
>Did she always have those?
“Hey Twilight, did you always have those wings?”
>”These?  Yeah of course.  Or, well, not really no, but as long as I’ve known you I have.”
>She chuckles awkwardly.
“I’m really starting to lose it, I swear I didn’t notice those yesterday.”
>”You’ve been through a lot.  Let’s go eat.”
>You follow her down the stairs to the kitchen.
>Spike made a nice sized plate of what appears to be oat meal and scrambled eggs.
>”Hey there Anon! I hope you’re hungry. ”
“Morning Spike. I’m starved.”
>”I made this with help from Twilight.  We weren’t sure what you’d like so she said keep it simple.  Eggs and oats.”
>”I figured they would be safe to eat since I didn’t really get to ask what your diet is like.”
“This is perfect, scrambled eggs are my favorite.”
>It only takes a few minutes to plow through the dish, but you’re satisfied.
>At least that much stayed the same.
“That was fantastic.”
>”I’m glad you liked it, but of course I made it so why wouldn’t you?”
>”Spiiiike…”
“He’s got confidence, good for him.”
>She rolls her eyes.
”So what’s on the agenda for today?”
>”Glad you asked.  First, we should go see Rarity about getting you clothes.  You said you were going to need them, didn’t you?”
“I did.”
>”After that, we’ll take a tour of the town and I’ll try to get more of the town familiar with you.  It should make your stay that much easier.”
“Meeting new people, I like it.”
>You look down to your dead phone.
>”So what happened to that thing?”
“It died.”
>”Oh my gosh, Anon I’m so sorry.”
>You start to laugh.
>That came out so morbid she thought you lost a loved one.
>In a way it was, but that’s a different story.
“Ha it’s ok, I didn’t mean it like that.  I just have to charge it.  Somehow.”
>”Like a battery?”
“Exactly.  But…”
>You can’t see any outlets, which would make sense since it’s a tree.
>”Maybe I could help.”
“Go for it.”
>You prop it up on the table.
>Twilight charges her horn.
“If possible, try not to blow it up.”
>Not that it really has much use anyway.
>”Oh hush, I can do this.”
>She sends an arc of lightning to your phone.
>Other than some smoke coming from it, nothing seems to have happened.
>You hold the power button and wait.
“Well, it was worth a sho-“
>Suddenly the screen lights up and it comes right on.
>You look to Twilight incredulously, raising an eyebrow.
“Ok now you’re just showing off.”
>She just smiles wide and makes a squeaking noise in the process.
>”Pretty amazing isn’t she?”
“It’s hardly fair.”
>She chuckles.
>”Come on you two, we have a big day ahead of us.”
>You approach the door to go out, but stop and look down on yourself, wearing only your boxers.
>”Is something wrong?”
“I’m a little underdressed.  I hope it doesn’t make things more awkward.”
>Spike speaks up.
>”Don’t worry Anon, everyone is already naked. If they stare at you, it’s probably because you’re an alien.”
>”Spike!”
>”What?!  I’m just saying.”
>You start laughing.
“You know what?  That’s very true.  I could use some sun anyway.”
>Twilight shakes her head.
>”Oh I almost forgot!”
>Her horn charges and with a flash she disappears.
“Uh…what was that about?”
>Spike just shrugs.
>There’s a bang behind you and you nearly jump out of your skin.
>Twilight has your clothes in a telekinetic ball.
>”Rarity can use these as a model.”
>She sniffs them, her nose scrunching up.
>”…not to mention wash them.”
>You look to Spike.
“Does she always do this?”
>”You get used to it…sort of.”
>You take a deep breath and step outside.
>What a sight it is.
>Even though you walked through town yesterday, you never really stopped to take in the sites.
>Ponies of all sizes and colors walk and fly around town.
>Dr. Seuss would have a field day with this.
>You follow Twilight and Spike as they explain the different spots around town.
>As you would expect, ponies stop and look on, whispering among each other.
>However, many don’t appear too shy to walk up and introduce themselves.
>Their names are…adorable to say the least.
>”Here we are, Carousel Boutique.”
“Gee, wonder how it got that name?”
>”Well you see, the building is modeled after a carousel, which is a ride commonly fou-“
“Sarcasm, Twilight.  I was being sarcastic.”
“Oh.  Right.”
>Spike knocks on the door, and a moment later a little white filly answers.
>”Hey guys!”
>”Hey Sweetie Belle, is Rarity here?”
>”Yep, come on in I’ll let her know.”
>She bounds off.
>Spike holds the door, you of course hitting your head on the frame.
“D’ow! Stupid…”
>You rub your head in frustration.
>”Watch your head.”
“Thanks Spike…”
>Sweetie Belle stands at the base of the steps and takes a deep breath.
>What is sh-
>”RARITY.  YOU’VE GOT COMPANY.”
>Holy crap she has some lungs.
>The three of you attempt to adjust your ears.
>The ringing dies down just enough for you to her a reply.
>”Just a minnnuutte~”
>What a lovely voice.
>The white, proper unicorn you remember descends the stairs.
>You look her over twice to make sure she doesn’t have wings.
>”Why hello there Twilight, so good of you to stop by.”
>”We were hoping you could help Anon with his clothes situation.”
>”Why of course!  I love expanding my resume.”
>”Great.  I brought you a base to work with. “
>She floats your clothes over to her.
>”But you might want to…”
>Rarity catches a whiff and, much like Twilight, winces.
>”Oh.  Oh dear.  Yes these are is truly in need of my talents.”
>You look away, somewhat embarrassed.
“Look it was a long day...”
>”Don’t fret darling, I’ll have you looking good as royalty before you know it.”
>What a relief.
“I can’t thank you enough.”
>”You don’t have to thank me at all.”
>She walks off with Twilight towards a mannequin.
>”Isn’t she just great?”
>You forgot Spike was next to you.
>He says this all while staring at Rarity with a dopey expression.
“Uh, yeah… she is.”
>You bend over and wave your hand in front of his face.
>He doesn’t so much as blink.
>Someone’s got it bad.
>You inch your way away from him and look around.
>Fashion may not be your strong suit, but you can appreciate detail.
>This mare has a talent.
“You made all of these yourself?”
>”I most certainly did.”
>”Rarity is an expert when it comes to fashion.  If there’s an event, season, occasion or activity, she has design for it.”
>”Oh Spike stop, you’re embarrassing me, flattering and true as it may be.  Now Anon, would you please stand up here so I can take measurements?”
>You assume the position, and tape starts to flow around you controlled by her magic.
>As she attempts to get numbers, the glowing tape that touches your skin suddenly drops from her grasp.
>”Qu’est-ce que c’est?”
>”Oooh right.  Rarity, remember yesterday at the castle?  Anon negates magic.  If you touch him with something that you’re using your telekinesis on, you’ll lose the connection.  Try just holding the ends of the tape and don’t let the contact points touch him.”
>”Uh…alright.”
>Rarity attempts again to take numbers, this time only the ends glowing.
>She’s very meticulous not to touch the glowing points to you.
>This time it works, and within a few minutes she’s done.
>Well.  That certainly was trickier than I’m used to, BUT, fashion WILL not be denied.”
“So you’re good then?”
>”Yes, I’ll have everything ready by the end of the day.”
“Please, you don’t have to rush it.”
>”But I do.  I have so much inspiration right now that I cannot waste a second of it.”
>Her sister whispers to you.
>”Better just let her work, there’s no stopping her now.”
“I’ll take your word for it, Sweetie Belle.”
>”So are you staying in Ponyville?”
“Looks that way, it’ll be a while before I can go back.”
>”Don’t you worry about a thing, this is the nicest town in Equestria, you’ll love it here.”
>You smile at her.
“That’s what I keep hearing.”
>”And you’ll have full support of the Cutie Mark Crusaders!” she says with a puffed out chest.
>That’s adorable.
>Rarity and Twilight just laugh.
>”Let’s get going Anon, still a lot to do.”
>Your next stop, according to Twilight, is Sugarcube Corner.
>The giant gingerbread house is truly an architectural marvel.
>In that no one has eaten it.
>You enter the shop, this time ducking the frame, turn, point a finger at it and exclaim.
“Ha HA!”   
>”Ha HA!”
>A sudden pink blur pops up next to you, startling you into the frame with a thud.
“D’ow! Stupid!...”
>”Oopsie!  I’m so sorry Annie!  I didn’t mean to spook ya.  Is your noggin ok?”
>You rub the new spot on the back of your head.
“Yeah it’s alright, I probably deserved that.”
>She laughs as Twilight shakes her head.
>”Someday Pinkie we’re going to work on your social skills.”
>”Okie dokie lokie!”
>She bounces off to the counter.
>You follow her, taking notice of the patrons staring at you, and point a thumb at the door.
“Low bridge.”
>They slowly  go back to eating.
>”Mr. and Mrs. Cake!  We have a super special guest!”
>”Oh! Is that your friend from out of town?  I can’t wait t-“
>Out from the kitchen a blue mare walks out and looks up at you wide eyed.
>She doesn’t say a word
>”Pumpkin?  Is everything ok ou-“
>Following her, a yellow stallion walks out, much to the same effect.
>You’re noticing a pattern here.
>”This is my friend Anonymous!  He says he goes by Anon, but that’s a little creepy, so I call him Annie for short.”
>You frown and look to Spike and Twilight, whose hoof is covering her face.
“I’m not creepy, am I?”
>Spike just shrugs while Twilight painfully replies.
>”Just ignore her…”
>Mrs.  Cake shakes her head and finally speaks.
>”O-Oh my, where are our manners?  It’s good to see you Anonymous.  Pinkie told us so much about you.”
>”Yeah you sound like you’ve had quite an experience.”
“You don’t know the half of it.”
>”Well any friend of Pinkie’s is a friend of ours.”
>”So like, everypony is their friend!”
>”Would you like anything?  We have a lot of different goodies here.”
“Thanks Mrs. Cake but I don’t have any money.  Haven’t quite figured out how I’m paying for anything really.”
>”Don’t be silly, take one on the house as ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ present.”
>You groan.
“I couldn’t…”
>”Sure ya could!  It’s easy, just point to anything, except for the super special cherry glazed donuts, you couldn’t POSSIBLY like the super special cherry glazed donuts that I may or may not have had a hoof in making.”
>Her eyes are twinkling along with her cheeks.
>If you didn’t know any better, you’d say she was hinting that you should pick them.
“Well now I suppose I have to.”
>”YESYESYESYESYESHEWANTSONEHEWANTS-*ahem* I mean, I guess, if you’re sure.”
>You glance to Twilight only to look back for said donut to be right in your face.
>Ever so carefully, you take it and try a bite, never breaking eye contact with the pink reactor.
>”Weeeeelllllll~?”
>This donut…
>A tear manages to sneak from your eyes.
“It’s the best donut I’ve ever had.”
>”It is?!”
“It is.”
>”YES!”
>You all but inhale the remains.
>”I can’t wait for you to try all my other ideas.”
>She starts rambling off other concoctions.  
>Some sound exquisite, others not so much.  
>The Cakes push her into the kitchen as she goes on, oblivious to everything.
>”Looks like you’ve just made a new best friend.”
“I made a mistake, huh Twilight?”
>”Nah, she’s just a little…”
>You look to the Cakes, who sheepishly smile and shrug.
“Yeaaahhh…”
>”Well we better be going, lots to still see and do.  Thanks Mr. and Mrs. Cake, we’ll be back!”
>”Please come back anytime!”
>There’s a yell from the kitchen.
>”DOUBLE, NO, TRIPLE CHOCOLTE CHIP FUGDE ICED WITH CHOCOLATE SPRINKLES.”
>Your ears twitch as your turn.
“What was that last one?”
>Twilight and Spike grab your arm to try and drag you out.
>In their haste they don’t account for the door frame.
>Apparently it’s the theme of the day and you smack your head once more on the frame.
>You let out a yelp, and they both try to apologize while still pulling you out.
>All three of you continue into town as you rub your head.
“Alright so what’s next?”
>”I figure we can walk around the town some more, try to give you an idea of the layout, important places, etc.”
>Just as she finishes her thought, a rainbow streak whips overhead, causing you to flinch.
>It loops up and shoots straight down to you, before revealing itself to be Rainbow Dash.
>”What’s up, guys?”      
>The dust settles, and you try to compose yourself a little better to address her, but wow was she fast.
“You, uh, you really live up to you name huh?”
>She adopts a smug grin on her face.
>”Maybe a little bit.”
>”What brings you here, Dash?”  Twilight asks.
>”Not much, just finished with cloud duty and saw you guys, thought I’d see how Anon was doing.”
“Pretty good, all things considered anyway.”
>”That’s good, so whatcha been up to?”
>”We’ve been showing Anon around, trying to get him familiar with the town.”’
>Spike speaks up.
>”Hey Twilight, maybe we could go to the park and meet more ponies there?”
>”Laaaaame.  You should take him to the gym, it’d be cool to see what he can do.”
>”I don’t think that’s his idea of fun like it is yours.” Quips Twilight.
“Actually, I wouldn’t mind that.  I could use a good stretch anyway.”
>”Great!”
>Dash leads you all to the gym.
>It’s a decent sized, place, not near as big as your campus gym, but it looks to have the essentials.
>”Let’s start with the treadmill.”
“Sounds fun…”
>Meanwhile you scream internally.
>Within 10 minutes of running, you immediately regretted going along with this.
>Dash egged you on the treadmill.”
>”Cmon Anon, you can’t be tired already.”
>The sweat pouring from you begged to differ as you heaved for air.
>Sad part was you weren’t even running that fast.
“I…hate…cardio…”
>”That just means you gotta work on it more.”
>”I don’t think it’s a good idea to push him that hard, Rainbow.  Let’s move on to something else.”
“Thank you…Twilight…”
>”Tch, fiiiine.  Let’s do some free weights.”
>Finally, something more your style.
>They had a large assortment of dumbbells, but you couldn’t really make out how heavy they were.
>You start with the middle, but found them very easy to do, so you jumped all the way to the largest set.
>They were heavier, but still not anything great.
>Maybe they didn’t train like humans do?
>You did a few different exercises just to get your routine back.
>It wasn’t a lot of work to you, but apparently you drew a lot of attention a few gym-goers, who stopped to spectate.
>Twilight simply watched along and took notes.
>Not wanting to cause a scene, you wrapped up your set and made your way out.
“Well how’d I do?”
>Dash took a second to respond.
>”You made that look so easy.  I mean you’re big and all but, wow.”
>”We should go see Applejack, see if she’s got a place for him to work. He could definitely handle working there.”
>”Good idea Spike.”
>You all walk down the dirt path, trees lining the way.  
>They ask you all kinds of questions, about your family, home life, the usual stuff you’d ask an alien.
>You tried to get your own questions answered, but there wasn’t a ton you could think to ask them.
>It wasn’t long,though, before you reach the same farm from yesterday.
>The little yellow filly with the bow from yesterday saw you all approach.
>Applebloom was it?
>”Well howdy y’all! Ya bring Anon here ta take Applejack up on that job offer?”
>Twilight giggled.
>”Something like that.”
>”Wait here, ah’ll get mah sis’.”
>She darts off and not but a minute later returned with a smiling Applejack and Big Mac.
>”Hey there partner!  How’s Ponyville been treatin’ ya?”
“About as well as it can, thanks.”
>”Applebloom tells me you were lookin’ fer work? I should warn ya, ain’t easy workin’ on a farm.”
“I practically grew up on one, I’m plenty familiar.”
>”Ever buck apples?”
“That’s a new one to me.”
>”Well then this is gonna be somethin’ fun ta watch.”
>”Don’t worry, AJ, Anon here is really strong, I’m sure hitting a few trees won’t make him break a sweat.”
>Nice to see Rainbow had confidence in you.
>”Alright then. Applebloom?  Take him over ta that there tree an’ show him how it’s done.”
>”You got it sis’!”
>The little filly leads you over to a nearby tree.
>You turn around when you hear Twilight and Rainbow laughing under their breath, but they just wave you off when you look at them.
>”Now it’s real simple ta do, ya just gotta turn around, bring yer back legs in and-“
>She bucks the tree good.
>Sure enough apples rain down into neatly arranged buckets.
“Seems easy enough.”
>”Now you try.”
>You stand right in front of a new tree.
>If that little kid can do it, you should have no problems.
>With a half-thrust, you kick your leg into the trunk.
>Not one single apple.
“What?”
>”Yer gonna have ta try harder than that!”  Applejack chides.
>With a lot more force, you kick the tree hard.
>Still nothing, saving for bit of swaying.
“I think the tree’s broken.”
>The girls begin laughing.
>”Here let me show ya again.”
>Applebloom turns around and kicks the tree.
>Of course more apples come down.
>This is ridiculous, she’s not even a tenth your size!
>You walk over to another tree, and in a bout of frustration, you charge the tree with your shoulder and ram it.
>The tree shudders and sways back and forth, but still no apples.
“Wha-how….What is going on here?”
>”Well, maybe kicking ain’t yer style, why dontcha try grabbin’ them out since yer so tall?”
>Applejack’s idea doesn’t do much to console your ego at this point, but you need to try something.
>Rainbow Dash, Twilight, and Spike look like they’re straining to hold back laughter.
>Not wanting to dwell on this anymore, you jump up and grab a low hanging fruit.
>As you come down with it in hand, you feel it pull back against you.
>It never came off the branch.
“OH COME ON!”
>Now everyone is in a laughing fit as you stand there with an entire branch bowed down on you.
>It’s then you notice Twilight horn glowing.
>That should only happen when sh-
>If there was a time for a light bulb to appear overhead, this was that moment.
>You look at the stem of the apple.  
>Wouldn’t you know it, there’s a little purple glow around the stem.
“You cheeky little…”
>Dash has lost control and is rolling around on the ground in tears.
>Spike is slamming his fist in a fit.
>This was one elaborate joke.
>”Would y’all kindly explain what the hay is so funny?”
>Twilight finally speaks up, having calmed down.
>”We’re…we’re sorry Applejack.  Rainbow gave me the idea to use magic to keep the apples from falling. I…I couldn’t resist.”
>“If that ain’t the strangest prank ah ever heard… “
>You mutter to yourself as you look at Applebloom.
“I hate magic.”
>She just giggles.
>You pinch the magic bulb.
>Twilight’s spell is broke, and so is her grip on all the apples.
>The one you were holding snaps free, whipping the branch up and dropping apples.
>For good measure, you kick the tree again, and this time all the apples come down.
>Spike and Rainbow finally compose themselves.
>Somewhat.
>”Ok, y’all had yer fun. Unicorn tricks aside, I think Anon will fit in just fine.  What ya think Big Mac?”
>”E-Eeyup.”
>He’s snickering too.
>”Land sakes, not you too brother…”
>”Sorry…”
>You suddenly hear someone’s throat clear.
>Looking over to the source, you see a yellow pegasus with a pink mane standing by an empty cart.
>Her name escapes you.
>”Oh, I didn’t interrupt did I?  I’m so sorry…”
>”Dontcha worry ‘bout it Fluttershy, they’re all just havin’ fun at Anon’s expense.”
>”That doesn’t sound very nice.”
“THANK YOU.”
>”Eeep!”
>She ducks behind her mane and shivers.
“Woops…”
>Applejack just rolls her eyes.
>”So what can ah do ya fer, sugarcube?”
>She peeks her eyes out then stands up, slowly.
>”I-I was just wondering if I could get some oats for the animals.”
>”Course ya can, let me head to the barn.”
>Applejack trots off while Fluttershy stands there in silence.
>She makes eye contact with everyone, then sort of dips her head and digs her front hoof into the ground.
>Rainbow Dash breaks the awkward silence
>”Fluttershy, how long were you standing there?”
>”Me?  Only for a little bit.”
>”Why didn’t you say anything?”
>”Everyone seemed like they were having a good time, I didn’t want to be rude.”
>You can’t tell if she’s being passive aggressive or just plain passive.
>Rainbow goes to say something, then drops it.
>”Forget it.”
>”Applebloom addresses you.
>”Say Anon, weren’t ya wearin’ clothes er somethin’ yesterday?”
“Yeah why?”
>”Hey ya, I was gonna say something about that, what happened to them?”
>You look away and adopt a solemn tone.
“They were…stinky.”
>More awkward silence.
>”Oh.  Well why don’t you just go without them? Clothes seem so dumb anyway.”
>At Carrousel Boutique, Rarity gets a sudden chill and shivers.
>Sweetie Belle notices.
>”Rarity why’d you just shiver?”
>”…I don’t know…” is all Rarity can reply with.
>Back at the farm, Applejack and Big Mac return with a full cart of supplies.
>You can’t imagine just how many animals she must look out for if she needs that much.
>Fluttershy hands her a bag of what you assume money and thanks her.
>She hitches herself up to the wagon and attempts to leave, but she’s having a hard time getting it to budge.
>”Heh heh, maybe we over did it with the oats, eh Mac?”
>”Eeyup.”
>”Here Fluttershy, I’ll take some off and you can come back for it.”
>”You don’t have to trouble yourself, I can get it.”
>She grunts and strains against the cart. but still can’t quite get it going.
>”Cmon ‘Shy, don’t hurt yerself, we can help ya.  Or better yet…”
>Applejack looks right at you.
>”Why don’t ya help her haul this cart back to her house, Anon?”
“I think I can manage that.”
>”But that’s so much trouble, I ca-“
>You don’t even let her finish as you tug the cart.
“Course I do, it’s my job now, right?”
>You wink at AJ.
>”I like the attitude.  Make sure yer here bright an early tomorrow, lots of buckin’ ta do.”
>You give a salute and walk off, cart in tow.
>It’s heavy, but nothing unmanageable.
>”Anon you really don’t have to do this.”
“Good thing I want to do it then.”
>”But-“
>”Fluttershy, seriously, just relax, Anon’s a big guy, he can handle it.  I bet this is nothing for it.”
>Rainbow’s encouragement is countered by her landing on the cart and laying herself down.
>All this does is add to the weight, making a little harder.
>She has to be doing that on purpose.
>”Rainbow sometimes I think you aspire to contradict your actions.” Says Twilight.
>”Huh?”
“She means you’re a jerk.”
>”Hey!”
>You snort a suppressed laugh and grin.
>”No that’s not what I meant.  Not quite, anyway.”
>”Yeah so don’t- wait what do you mean ‘not quite’?”
>Now you start laughing, it’s too much to hold back.
>Twilight and Spike join in, while Dash just looks the other way.
>”Whatever.”
>”I don’t see why you’re so mean to each other.  Can’t we all just get along?”
“That is how I get along, Fluttershy.  Just a little fun at Rainbow’s expense.”
>”Oh ha ha ha…”
>As you approach town, Rainbow gets up and stretches her wings.
>”Well I should get back to weather duty, I’ll see ya around.  We’re hitting the gym hard tomorrow Anon, gonna work on your cardio.”
>This elicits a groan.
“Do we have to?”
>”Sure do.  You’ll need it if you’re gonna survive working with Applejack.”
“But I…oh fine, why not?”
>”Great.  Later.”
>Dash keeps to her namesake and bolts off.
>Everyone waves goodbye to the Apple family as you tow the cart.
>When you get to town, Spike and Twilight take their leave to head back to the library.
>”Follow Fluttershy to her cottage, and take the same road back.  You remember your way around?”
“I got it, go ahead.
>”Ok, I hate to leave you, but I’ve got a list of things to report to Celestia.”
“No problem.”
>Now it’s just you and Fluttershy.
>It might as well be just you, she hasn’t even made a peep.
“So…how far we got?”
>”It’s just a little further ahead.”
“This is a lot of food, you have that many animals?”
>”Oh yes.  I look after so many cute creatures, and they have such big appetites.  Do you have any pets back home?”
“A few.  Couple dogs, some cats.  My aunt had a lot since she lived on a farm. Always loved animals.”
>”Me too!  I can’t even begin to name my favorites.”
>But she tries to.
>At some point, you’re wondering if she has catalogued the entire kingdom.
>Still, it’s better than complete silence.
>You finally reach her cottage.
>...-rakeets, seals, flying squirrels, aardvark- Oh we’re here!”
>Fluttershy was not lying.
>She REALLY cares for animals.
>There’s so many it’s a wonder she can even handle it.
>”Just take the cart to the side, I’ll get you some water, you must be exhausted.”
“Thank you.”
>As you walk around the house, you take note of how beautiful the view is.
>In one direction there’s a vast expanse of hills, in the other is a dense forest, and then there’s the pond.
>This place would be a dream for so many people.
>It even comes with a bear.
>Wait…
>You make direct eye contact with what appears to be a brown bear.
>Which is exactly the opposite of what you’re supposed to do.
“Hey there…Yogi…”
>The bear sits down and just looks at you, head tilted.
“Fluttershy?...”
>Don’t panic, don’t run, don’t bear your teeth.
>Heh, bear.
>Puns are funny.
>Fluttershy rounds the corner with the water.
>”Anon? Are you back there?”
“Fluttershy.  Don’t.  Move.”
>She completely locks up.
“There’s a bear right there.”
>”You mean Mr. Bear?”
“...Mr. Bear?...”
>”Yes, he’s a good friend of mine.”
>She is friends with a bear.
>Of course, how foolish of you to think otherwise.
>”Come say hi, Mr Bear.”
>He walks up to you and extends a paw.
>Is he smiling?
>Not wanting to be rude, you shake paws.
>Exchanging pleasantries with a bear.
>You’ll have to write that one on the bucket list then scratch it off.
>”Awww he likes you.  Oh I almost forgot, there’s some stuff for you in the living room!”
“Stuff, for me?”
>”Yep, it was dropped off with your name on it.”
>Odd.
>You walk inside her house, what you see shocks you.
“My bookbag!  And my gym bag!”
>It’s hard to contain your excitement.
>Lo and behold, everything is there, even your spare clothes, body wash, razor, toothbrush, everything.
>Let it never be said that the boy scouts don’t have it right when they say ‘be prepared’.
>The fact that your paranoia at being stranded paid off almost makes you laugh out loud.
>There’s a note.
“’You left these in my shop.’-D “
>Shop?
>And who’s D?
>Unless…
"You gotta be kidding me.”
>”SURPRISE!”
>A familiar voice right next to your ear scares the daylights out of you.
>In a flurry you swing your elbow back while girlishly screaming and make solid contact.
>It’s none other than Discord who receives your elbow.
>He falls back on his butt, grasping his snout.
>”Owowowowow!  Must you hit so hard?”
“WHY?! WHY DO YOU SNEAK UP ON ME LIKE THAT?!”
>You yell with embarrassing cracks in your voice.
>Your heart races as you grip your chest trying to calm it down.
>”How else could I get those priceless reactions?”
>He’s still trying to shake the cobwebs out.
”Well hah hah…oh dear God my heart.”
>Lying down seems to work better, slightly.
 >”You’d think you’d at least be grateful for getting your stuff back.”
>”What is going on in he-Discord?!  What are you doing here?  What happened to your nose?”
>”Anon hit me.”
>”*Gasp* Anon!”
“He started it! He nearly gave me a heart attack!”
>”Discord!”
>”Fluttershyyyy…”
>He gives her very convincing puppy-dog face.
>Seriously, his face is that of a puppy’s.
>Fluttershy, to her credit, isn’t buying it.
>”That’s enough, you two.  I want you both to apologize to each other.”
>”But I was just having fun.”
>”No buts, mister.  You shouldn’t scare anyone like that. And Anon you shouldn’t hit others.”
“-HE- snuck up on me!”
>”It doesn’t matter, I’m sure he didn’t mean to startle you that bad.”
>You stare at her in disbelief, while still pointing furiously at Discord.
>You’re about to say something when Discord interjects.
>”IIIII’m soorrryyy Anonnn.”
>He says about as disingenuously as possible while crossing his arms.
>”That’s better, and you Anon? Don’t you have something to say?”
>Your pose hasn’t changed.
>But you look at him, and think back to what Fluttershy said.
“Yeah I do, JUST WHAT -ARE- YOU DOING HERE EXACTLY?”
>”Inside voice Anon, sheesh!”
“I AM inside! And don’t try to dodge the question, you said you were going to my world to take my place!”
>”And I did.  When I realized that you left your things in my shop, however, I thought I’d be nice and bring them to you.”
“Well aren’t you just a man of the flippin’ world.”
>”I like to think so.”
>Something else clicks in your head.
“Hey wait, if you can travel back and forth, why can’t you take me back?!”
>”I’m surprised you only just now realized this. At any rate, you wouldn’t survive the trip.  The path through Tartarus is extremely long, complicated, and even more dangerous.  That crystal you used was basically a way to skip all that.  It took me hundreds of years to figure out a path, and every step of the way there’s something else chasing after you. “
>He goes on to explain.
>“The denizens there don’t really appreciate you crossing their domains and are relentless in their pursuit. Thankfully I know a few tricks to elude them, tricks that I can’t pass onto you.  I always have to change my route, because if I go too often, they’ll surely catch me eventually, so I try to be sparing with my trips.”
>Discord latches onto your shoulders and adopts a dramatic, almost flamboyant tone.
>”I just can’t be caught by them!  Do you know what they do with guys like me with such a pretty face?  I’d be irresistible!” feigning with a hand over his forehead.
>Again you’re at a loss for words, as is Fluttershy.
“Is -any- of that true?”
>”Mostly, you’ll have to run it by me again.”
“Sounds like a horrible plot in lousy-written fan fiction.”
>”Perhaps, but I assure you, the trip is most definitely too dangerous.  Just be patient, I’m sure you’ll love it here!  Fluttershy is without a doubt the most gracious host you could ever want.”
>She blushes heavily.
>”Oh my, I’m really not that special…”
>”That reminds me. Your father got worried when he couldn’t reach you yesterday, so I also came here to get your phone.”
>That’s a good point.
>You sigh and hand it to him.
“Ya I guess you’ll need it more than me, not like I can really use it here anyway. Know how to use that?”
>”How hard can it be?”
>He takes the phone, looks at it, then you, then takes the phone in both hands.
>In a sickening sound of glass and plastic shattering, he splits the phone in two.
“WoahwoahwoahWOAH HEY STOP WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”
>He hands you what you think is one half of the phone, but it turns out to be the whole thing.
>In his other hand, the exact same phone, fully functional.
“Ok I have to admit that’s pretty cool.”
>Wonder if he can do that with money?
>Actually, the last thing you need is to be charged with counterfeiting, so you don’t even bring it up.
“You’ll want this too.”
>You give him your wallet.
>”And your car keys?”
“Do you even know how to drive a car?”
>”Again, how hard can it be?  Unless you plan on explaining to everyone how you managed to teleport everywhere.”
>You practically throw the keys at him.
>What are the consequences of what you’ve just done?
>”Well this has been a grand reunion, but I must be getting back, lots to see and do. I’ll be sure to stop by when I get a chance, Taa taa!”
>In the same poof as yesterday, he’s vanishes.
>And again, you’re left in a daze.
>”See?  He’s not so bad once you get to know him.”
“Oh yeah he’s real charming.”
>You mutter as you roll your eyes.
>Looking at your stuff, there is a little sense of ease that washes over you.
>At least you can get dressed now.
>And your text books are here too, something Twilight will be dying to see.
>You put on your fresh clothes and take a deep, calming breath.
“That feels better.”
>”That’s the spirit.  You should get back to Twilight’s.  She’ll be so excited to hear all this.”
“Thank you, Fluttershy.”
>”No, thank you Anon for helping with that cart.  If you ever need anything at all, please don’t hesitate to ask.”
>You smile at her.
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
>You walk back down the road and wave to her.
>And Mr. Bear…
>Who’s waving at you...
>This is going to take a lot of getting used to.
>You made a full day out of it at least, as the sun was setting.
>The quiet trip gave you time to think to yourself.
>But of course the trip was all too short as you found yourself back at the library and let yourself in.
“I’m back.”
>”Anon!  Glad to see you’re back, how was it?”
“It was good, Fluttershy is so kind.”
>”That’s putting it midly.”
>Twilight takes notice of your new luggage.
>”Where’d you get those bags?”
“Oh have I got a story for you.”