Title:           Daring Douche 2: Wherein Anon becomes King of the Mountain
Author:          brandnewwritefag
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/UMpHMD7b
First Edit:      Wednesday 1st of July 2015 10:47:08 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Wednesday 1st of July 2015 10:47:08 PM CDT

>You stare at your new captor, somewhat nonplussed
>She suddenly grins, her teeth knives glimmering in the moonlight
"Guh~!"
>You lean back and she laughs
>"Haha, aaah... that always works on colts..."
"Hey. Rude!"
>She narrows her eyes at you and sighs. "Mm. You better be worth it."
"Uh, well, I mean... no? You can just drop me off no-"
>"No no no, I insist. The stallion of the ponies responsible for ruining my chance at ruling Equestria with an iron hoof and taking that fine length of cock from me - that I STOLE FIRST, mind you - should be treated with the upmost....respect."
>She seemed to be searching for the proper word there
>While her eyes looked you up and down
>You feel kinda dirty
"S-so...why are you a queen? I thought everyone who was a ruler was a princess."
>She points at her crown.
"So the hat?"
>"I-IT IS NOT A HAT! It's the Crown of Dominion!"
"Well yeah, but Celly and Luna have crown-hats too-"
>"Mine has more spinnere-"
"Pointy bits. Yours has more pointy bits so you call yourself a Queen?!"
>You start chuckling, and she growls
>"Oh. I know exactly how I'm going to handle you~"
>You sigh, mentally kicking yourself
>You really should stop antagonizing demigods. Maybe there's a support group for that...?
>Chrysalis starts chuckling as a black mountain comes into view, towering silently over it's peers
>The veins of ice which adorn it's peak glow a sickly green in the night
>HMMMM
>Ok one more time
"So your base is somewhere in the desert, ri-"
>"Are you serious? You're being serious right now."
>Poker face
>Pooookerrrrfaaaccceeeeee
>She stares at you, mouthing out words silently as you travel to her obvious lair
 
>She turns away from you, remaining silent as the stolen chariot rounds the OBVIOUSLY EVIL MOUNTAIN
>10 bucks says one of your rescuers will have to interrogate a changeling or something to figure it out
>Hell, you wonder if-
>Turning around, you can still make out the glow from the Crystal Empire's city
>Yep.
>Turning forward, your ride makes a steep dive before leveling out, flying into one of the now-obvious-since-you're-up-close MASSIVE HOLES that's been bored out of the rock
>Really. Really?
>You roll to a stop with a crunch, and Chrysalis chuckles once more. "Welcome to your new home. Get used to it - you won't be seeing much else for a long... long time."
>She steps off, walking away from you
"Wait, so... not going to escort me or put me in cuffs or-"
>"Oh, so eager! So....kinky. I like that."
>She licks her lips with her forked tongue... and then curls it all the way around her muzzle-
>You look away in both disgust and arousal
>Her barking laugh echoes in the cave. "Mmmm, delicious. I didn't know your feelings came in such complex... cock-tails."
>You step off the chariot
>"But, no. Unlike your precious ponies-" she spat out the last two words with obvious venom, "-we have to use our brains here. I don't chain you because where would you go?"
>Grinning again, she waves a hoof around. "My drones are legion, and you're just one human. You'll have to come to us to stay safe..." She steps forward, her hard hooves *clacking* on the ground. "to get fed..."
>"...To stay warm~" she finishes breathily, and you shudder
>Not totally in disgust
>"Mmmm~! Oh, excuisite! And you're still on your feet!"
"What... what are you doing? What the hell are you talking about?"
>"Mmm, hold on. Just." Chrysalis tamps her chest a few times, stifling a burp. "Oh, ok. Whew. You're going to be a great addition! So much emotion, so freely given - and you seem to have such stamina!"
>Giggit-
>"Ooh ok just... whoo, hold on" Chrysalis interrupts your mental train of thought
 
>She breathes heavily, like a tubbykins who truly believed that the buffet was endless
>Wait....
"A-are you reading my mind?"
>She shakes her head, panting softly. "N-no, just eating your thoughts and emotions."
>She smiles softly
>Oh, well then.
>Adopting your best DBZ fightan stance, you raise your powerlevel
>You channel all your NEET training and think about every waifu you've ever had
>Giggity-giggity-GITGITGI-
>"Oooohhhhhhh Fuuuccckkk~"
>Chrysalis swoons hard, the chitin under her body glowing a bright green
>I-it's working! It's-
>"FUUUCK UGHNN~!"
>Her body shudders for a few moments, the glow subsiding slowly
>Did... did....did she ju-
>"M-MINIONS!" she sputters, her cheeks a warm green
>Holy shit Royal Canterlot Voice in an echo chamber
>Two identical drones run up, saluting
>"T-Take him to the d-dungeons! Th-the ones for... favored food. You are responsible for his well-being...do not let him be devoured. I must go."
>Well. That doesn't sound ominous.
>VERY-POINTY-HAT Chrysalis walks away, swaying from side to side
>"This way, human."
>You look down at... uh...
"Hmm."
>"What?"
"Well, if we're going to be starting this Jailer-prisoner relationship, I'd like to at least know your name."
>It rolls it's eyes
>or, the glow behind it's bug eyes rolls around in it's orb... thing
>"Typical stallion. Needing to know things like 'names' and 'safewords'-"
>The other drone pipes up. "H-hey now! He is a rare and endangered creature that we're going to protect! We could learn a lot from him! And you were hatched better than-"
>"Here it comes again. It was just a side-comment; I'm not being anti-male-"
>"More like a SNIDE comment! He deserves better! Furth-"
>Ha ha what
>The two drones start bickering infront of you, as if you weren't even there
>Idly you wonder if the fall from the cave-hole would kill you, if you took a running leap
 
>The drones voices start to get higher and higher pitched until the second one throws up it's hooves
>"O-Oh! OH! OH I AM JUST SO TRIGGERED RIGHT NOW! O-OH OF ALL TH-OH JUST! JUST!"
>It scrunches so hard that you're pretty sure it's face cracked
>"I'M GOING TO POST THIS WHOLE CONVERSATION ON HUMMBLR"
>Wait
>what?
>"F-FINE THEN!" The other one yells. "GO TO THE WEB! SEE IF I CARE! BUZZFEED WON'T GIVE A DAMN."
>WHAT.
>You grab the first drone's face as the second one runs off, triggering the entire time
"YOU."
>You glare at the drone with such intensity you're pretty sure you're going to spontaneously combust
>"M-m-m-m-ee? L-look, I'm sorry, I didn't me-"
"YOU. Hummblr. Buzzfeed. Web. Explanation. Now."
>"I-it's the WWW - w-"
>Oh sweet Hosanna, the greatest of days
>You don't even care that it called the internets " The doubleyou doubleyou doubleyou"
>You might just not want to be rescued from this place
>For a while
>....ok just until you became a dedicated forum troll just like you were back on earth
>Maybe pump out a few fresh, sick memes
>like [spoiler]Milhouse[/spoiler]
>You feel a tapping on your arm, and realize that you've been hugging the SHIT out of this drone's head
>You let it go, and it gasps, shaking it's head to get it's bearing
>"D-damn... damn you're a strong one..."
>It looks you up and down, not so much in lust as in
>...thought
>"I'm... going to make a decision here and move you down to the Pit. Chrysalis shouldn't mind... it's more secure..."
"Ok, I'm sure that's fine and you have your reasons but DOES IT HAVE THE INTERWEBS"
>"W-uh, I mean... I guess? We can always put up a web for you if you're really into that kinda stuff..."
>Yeeesssss
>Back in a basement
>With the internet
>It's like you never left home!
>The changeling burps, blushing softly. "D-damn, more? O-ok... uh, follow me."
>Yep
>Yep yep yep I'm fine with ALL of this
>You follow the changeling, an almost literal skip in your step
"So!"
 
>No better conversation than forced conversation, your dad always said!
"So, uh. Chrysalis called you all drones, but... you don't seem brainless. What's up with that?"
>"Uh, firstly... kinda racist."
"Y-you too"
>"Secondly, I'll admit - we weren't... too different from each other. But that shield spell from the siege on Canterlot really... did a number on us. Messed with our... I dunno. Something."
"Huh."
>"I mean, we still obey the Queen. Pheremones compel us to, and it would be suicide to disobey her - we just now have... I guess our own opinions?"
"Well... good for you?"
>It shrugs. "I guess."
"Are... all of you genderless?"
>"Mmm? No, we're... like bees. Everyone here's female. Why do you think we go on raids? I mean, other for the food."
"Well then."
>That's not inspiring confidence.
>An awkward pause stretches between you two
".....you do it for the dude-"
>"Yes, ok! YES. Sheesh."
"But if you're all drones can you even mat-"
>"Do you really want to find out ?" The drone looks up at you, grinning
>Ha ha nope
"Hey, so, you're on buzzfeed-"
>"Uh... yeah. Nice topic change. How do you know abou-"
"You did kinda yell it at the top of your lungs."
>"Oh, uh, right. Heh, sorry about that - just, those kind of mayflies really bother me, yanno?"
>You give it- eer, her - a blank look
>She sighs
>"Ok, just. Imagine that you're me."
"Damn, I'm ugly"
>"Ha-ha. I can take you to the spawning pit and 'forget' you there"
"Alright, alright. Fine."
>"Right. We're... I guess the closest analogue would be carnivores? Like Manticores. We eat meat - that's 90% of our diet. We can have some grass, sure, but we're meat eaters."
"Ok. That's holding up so far"
>"Right, so - it's the same thing. We feed off of ... yanno. You, for instance, and we can eat some solid food to balance our diet out - mostly just to make us look convincing to our prey."
>Wow
>Makes sense, though. You can't say no to grandma's cooking for too long without the jig being up
 
>"So, Hummblr...ites? -Inas?"
>You shrug
>She rolls with it
>"Anyway. They got hit the worst on the head - at least, that's what I think -"
>You chuckle
>"- and they're ranging from wanting us to never transform - walk around like this in broad daylight - to stop eating emotions and just go to food! We'd Die!"
"Ok, so that's... I mean, everyone's allowed their opinions, right?"
>"Yeah, but Hive help you if you disagree with them. 'YOU'RE A FILTHY SKINWALKER. CHITIN PRIDE. CHECK YOUR FEEDING PRIVILEGES.' Just all the damn time!"
>Aaah.
>This dark evil is well known to you from long ago
"So... basically, stay away from that part of the web."
>"Yeah... just yeah. They love to pull in prey and 'protect' them to death."
>She sounded....literal
>eesh
"Ok... well, can we?"
>"Go to the Web? I mean, sure. We're halfway there anyway. Why are you so-"
"Ssshhhhh.... shh"
>She looks at you, mouth slightly open, chitin-eyebrows raised high
"Just let me drink it in. Is it a net cafe, or-"
>"Uh... well food's kinda discouraged from being brought in, but you're a VIF... we can probably swing it. What kind of web are you looking for, anyway?"
"That's... an interesting question to ask. But if I had to describe my preferred internet environment..."
>You spend the next 5 or so minutes telling the drone about wonderful places on the internet
>like /tg/
> /fit/
> [spoiler] /k/ [/spoiler]
>Aah, you thought that was gonna be [spoiler]/b/[/spoiler]! Hah. Sucker.
>As you walk down a winding path, you start hearing a soft buzz
>And - a glow!
>You'd never mistake that glow cast down on the floor
>That's the warm, pale glow of computer monitors!
>Oh shit yes this is the greatest night of your life!
>"Hooo... oh man, you're... wow."
>Your guard burps, shaking her head
>"I get it now why the Queen wants you so bad... nice... just...here we are."
>She rounds the corner, and you follow her
>And stop
>The sight that greets you is... beautiful, in it's own way
>If not completely unexpected
 
>A cavern - massive - yawns open before you
>On either side of your narrow path, bathed in green and white glows
>Gossamer threads stretch out into the darkness
>It's like... billions of tiny stars, everywhere
"W-woah...."
>Then you notice it
>Some changelings are grouped together, hanging out on a certain part of
>The
>....web
>Then, you hear it
>High above you... to the left?
>"-a-and then ZZXTCHCKC slighted an endangered species RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! I felt just so- so OFFENDED for him! And he kept his calm, but I could see it in his eyes - HE WAS RAPED! BY OUR OWN GUARD, WITHOUT PERMISSION!"
>You steal a glance
>There's one changeling who's spread out like a T on the web, bitching hard
>The others around her are nodding and sympathizing - from what echos you can discern
>I guess... that's Hummblr?
"....."
>"So, pretty great, right? I mean, we can make your web however yo-"
>You round down on the drone, teeth clenched in anger
"What the fuck is all this!?"
>Your whisper-hissing causes a few drones to stare at the entrance
>"Wh-what?! This is the Web"
"Thi-This, no, no. This is j-no! NO YOU PROMISED ME"
>You pick up the drone, shaking it
"YOU PROMISED ME CATS AND GUNS AND REMOVING KEBAB-"
>"Whagk-st-aah~ stop sop saaah-"
>Your shaking gets a little more furious
>Like British-Nanny furious
"-YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE TO BRING BALANCE TO THE FORCE"
>"H-hey! What's all the commo- IT'S THE SPECIES!"
>The Hummblrina shouts, and you look up
>"....AND HE'S BEING RAPED WITHOUT PERMISSION AGAIN BY THAT ANTI-CHITIN NEGA-GENDER SHITLORD GUARD"
>As one about 50 drones turn to look at you from high above in their web
>Looking at you with unblinking, glowing compound eyes
>As you choke out the little guard who was escorting you
>They scrunch as one
>"R-...run-"
>Your shoe lets out a single squeak as you pivot, the white noise of 100 buzzing wings quickly filling your ears
 
"Balls balls balls balls balls-"
>"STOP TRIGGERING US AND SLOW DOWN"
>This is your mantra, apparently, as you run down random hallways
>Ducking into unknown corridors
>Squeezing yourself into random holes
>[spoiler]Giggity[/spoiler]
>Your guard is tucked up under your arm, yelling ways for you to go
>"Left! Right! Left! Right! Down! Barrel Roll! THERE!"
>You baseball-slide like a champ into a low hole and hold your breath
>You didn't even cry a little from that wicked powerslide!
>u da real MVP
>The angry swarm of Hummblrinas buzzes past your hidey-hole
>Then, silence
>After a few moments it's obvious the coast is clear, and you exhale
>"Whoo... hey... uh...."
"Yeah, ok. Should not... have done that. But you could've warned me!"
>"Ok, if you want warning - you've got like 5 seconds to let me go or I'm gonna assume you really DID want to find out why we take colts."
>You look down and realize in your totally-not-scared-just-wanted-to-hold-something-tightly daze you've pulled the changeling tight against your chest
>You're kinda... yanno
>Yeah
>You knit your eyebrows, and she grins
"Right, well."
>You push her down with both hands, and she coos
>"O-oh, you're one of those colts! Well, don't mahblg-"
>Your right foot steps on her face, and you use her surprisingly strong body to push yourself out of the nook you slid into
>As you get up you hear an indignant "hey!" and turn around
>She rubs her face, trying to get your shoeprint off of her muzzle
>"That wasn't very nice."
"Mmm. Sorry about that, Nike."
>"Shutup. Also, why are you tasting so bitter now? I mean, Hummblr is a shit, but you did get access to the web!"
"Mmm."
>Your grunt gets a little deeper as it sinks in
>No flamewars
>No shenanigans
>No greentext
>Just....
>You sigh, and the guard retches
>"Ugh, please! Not- ju- ugh~!"
>She covers her muzzle, motioning you down the hall
>"Juh goh herr. Herry!"
"Fine."
>Whatever
>Stupid bug horses
>Stupid bug hive
>Stupid bu-
>"GLEH. Please STOP"
 
>You cross your arms
>"Uhg - stahb pauhtig. Iht tahts tho bittuh"
>No.
>You channel your inner 5 year old at the checkout line
>And you were SO GOOD in the supermarket
>And you just wanted ONE LITTLE CANDYBAR BUT MOM SAID NOOOOOO
>You hear the sounds of vomiting behind you, and turn to look
>Oh
>Hm
>Now you actually feel bad
>Your little guard just upchucked some green... pulsating goop
>"Guh!" she gasps, "Oh... oh ok ok I think it's all out..."
>Awh. I mean, sure, she was your jailer, but... I mean, you made her vomit
>...with the power of your mind
>you stare at your trembling hands as the gravity of your new superpower washes over you
>With this power, you could destroy empires
>Make fools out of kings
>Fuck you it's a real superpower I'm gonna take i-
>"Mgh. Ok, just... power-mad lust always gives me a hangover. Can you just move?"
>Fine
>Stupid bug horse ruining your inner monologue
>Stupid bug hiv-
>"NAHT AHGEN"
>You start to grin, but suddenly the sounds of wings make your blood run cold
>"What's going on down there?! It tastes like a prisoner transfer!"
>Your guard looks up at you
>"We brought manacles!" the new voice helpfully yells into the darkness
>You look down at it
>"And a muzzle!" it says cheerfully
>Silence
>"... it's more of a ball gag, really!" the voice continues
"You don't have to say anything, yanno-"
>"YES IT'S A TRANSFER AND I NEED HELP"
>OH YOU BUG BITCH
>You start thinking of all the times you were wronged
>Starting at childhood
>Damnit why weren't you picked first for kickball
>And WHY did you always get those shitty "everyone gets a valentine" valentines at school!??!
>YOU HAD SWAG!
>WHATEVER HAPPENED TO YOUR POKEMON ERASER?! YOU LENT IT TO THAT FUCK, ALAN, AND HE NEVER GAVE IT BACK
>JENNY WHY DIDN'T YOU LOVE ME-
>"Stop right there, Citizen Scum! Happy thoughts, or else you get the stick!" the voice commands, and you raise your hands
>Damn police keepin' the green man down
 
>You keep your hands up as a group of new guards surround you
>Well, new to you
>Your drone wobbles to her feet, shaking her head
>"You alright, Tchkchkc?"
>"Y-yeah... just... yeah. Don't let him think bitter thoughts or you'll get overwhelmed."
>The new drone scrunches at the information, looking up at you
>"But he's just one colt....how?"
>You shrug, lowering your hands
"I don't know. She's the one feeding on me-"
>"Tchk! Feeding while serving - you know better!"
>"But it wasn't my-"
>"Silence. I'll not tell the queen - let's just take this one to the pit."
>Uh.
"The pit?"
>"You. Not a word. You're a troublemaker, I can tell - and a few hours in the pit will calm you right down."
>"B-but isn't the pit occupied? Wouldn't that hurt hi-"
>"He won't be hurt too much. Just keep an eye on him."
>Hmm
>This is not boding well for you.
>JENNY WHY DON'T YOU LO-
>You're suddenly hoofed in the back of the knee, bringing you down to kneeling
"Hey what the fu-"
>They drop a bag over your head, and you feel your hands get bound
>Damnit, it was worth a shot
>After a minor scuffle you're basically.... herded
>ugh that pun
>to what seems like a cell block
>You can hear other voices - not your rich baratone - but male, definitely
>"P-please, I have three foals-"
>"My little hoofsies are so achy-"
>Wow
>Bitchmuch.highschoolcomeback
>"Ok! Here. In."
"Well it's not like I can s-eeah~"
>You're nudged into a cell, falling on all fours
>Hooves scrabble next to you, and you feel your chains being taken away
>By the time you take off your hood, they're out, and the door has closed with a deep thud
>Welp
>"H-how are you doing in there?"
>A drone hops up, looking at you through the bars of the solid door
"Darkness... the empty days."
>"Uh?"
"Planets... Kinetic ha-"
>"Colt that ain't gonna work on me. I work 24/7 for no pay, and when I infiltrate I work retail."
"Oh. Yeesh."
>"Yeah. That's why I'm the warden. See you in a few hours - oh. And tell your roomate hello."
>Um?
 
"Roomate?"
>She laughs
>It's not a kind laugh
>"Yes! One of our most decorated Generals! She was in the throne room when we were... banished from Canterlot. Took a nasty beating. Quite, oh...what's the word."
"Cuddly. Tiny. Fluffy. Sweet. Frimsy."
>"Unstable?"
>Damn
>"Anyway. I'll come back to check on you~"
>You hear her hooves hit the floor, and then silence
>Your cell is pitch black, save for the light coming in from the bars
>uh
>hmm.
>This is the part of the movie where you stay on the ground, panting, then....
>In a swift movement you turn around, fist raised to punch the cliche glowing eyes behind you
>There's nothing
>Damn x2
>"[predator noise]"
>Uh.
"H-hello?"
>"[predator noises intensify]"
>You scoot your back to the door, looking around wildly
>Where is it where is it
>If you can see it you can make it vomit
>If it vomits you can win
>Or something fuck you supernatur-
>"[REALLY CLOSE PREDATOR NOISES]"
"EEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-"
>Totally not a high-pitched bitch fear-whine
>no
>uh
>You're echo-locating
>Like that blind kid you once read about, yeah
>Soft blue eyes open just infront of you
>Then narrow
>Ok ok ok ok this is it this is it
>Make your caveman ancestors proud
>THIS IS FOR YOU, OGG
>It hisses, then seems to float towards you
>oh FUCK that's creepy
>OK OK OK COME ON MAKE OGG PROUD
>FIGHT THE SABERTOOTH TIGER AND WIN
>TAME THE FIRE AND MAKE LIGHT
>WANT TO BE THE LITTLE GIRL
>You can't really do this shit - you're too scared
>And the hissing, glowing eyes keep just... tracking right towards you
>You scrabble back up against the door, standing
>It hovers right...to your kneecaps
>Hissing
>and staring at your knees
>and hissing
>and staring at your knees
>....
>You bend your knees and boop it's muzzle
>The hissing lowers
>You straighten up
>[hissing intensifies]
>You wiggle your legs, and each eye tracks a kneecap independently
>Uh.
"H-hello?"
>It stops hissing and looks up at you
>As your eyes adjust.... you can finally see it
 
>It looks like
>...every other fucking drone here
>what did you expect?
>Cept this one seems a bit worse for wear - she's got part of her horn chipped off, a few dents in her
>uh
>everywhere
>She also looks a little thin...maybe?
>As you look it over, the changeling stops hissing and stares at you with a surprising intensity
>Maybe it's mimicking you?
>Who knows
>oh, wait a minute
>The drone begins to scrunch
"S-sorry... uh... do you have a name? Hello?"
>You don't want to be rude to your new, mentally unstable cell mate
>She scrunches harder
"Oh, uh... is this your door? Do you want the door?"
>You move away from the door, but her head follows you
>She stands, hooves apart in a battle stance, utterly silent save for the intense look of concentration on her face and the vicious scrunch on her muzzle
"Ummmm....hmm...."
>This could be bad
>Her whole body shakes, and a green light begins to wisp around her
>Fuck is she doing a solar beam?
"Press B, Venosaur, Press B!!"
>Suddenly there's a blinding flash of green light, and you cover your eyes
>In a flash, you think of everything you're going to miss
>that you, dare I say, love?
>Your friends - Big Mac, Soarin', Background Pone
>Your herd - you would've a pony, eventually. Probably sooner than later.
>Your collection of wicked awesome miniature glass birds
>Shutup they were awesome
>The light dims, and you lower your hands to see something you... forgot how much you loved
>A [spoiler]3-foot long [spoiler]Taco[/spoiler] rests on the ground, fresh out of the oven[/spoiler]
>You sigh, happily, and it coos
>Maybe things were gonna be ok
 
>*Thud*
"Hmmm...."
>You strike a kung-fu pose, then kick the door as hard as you can
>You're greeted with a dense *thud*, and stumble back
>Damn
"Well Taco, looks like we're in another pickle."
>Taco coos softly, snugly perched on your back
>It's weird - you can *feel* Taco's hooves, but they're invisible
>Magichowdoesitwork
>Taco shifts a little, letting out a few soft chirps
>To the layperson, it might sound like Taco's trying to echolocate. But you know.
"You're right. There's only one way we're gonna get out of this."
>You place your hands on your hips, nodding to yourself.
"We can only escape with the power of [spoiler]Love.[/spoiler]"
>"Chrrrp?"
"...and [spoiler]Powerlifting.[/spoiler]"
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGnXjto7k9A
>Ok time to jump rope
>eer. Just jump, I guess
>You stand up and streeeeetch-
>Oh hey, you just touched the ceiling
>Like... a foot above your head
>Damn
>Guess this place isn't meant for tall prisoners
>Well you can still hop
>But you don't want to hurt youself...
>You spent a minute or two leaning on your tiptoes, then going back flat
>tiptoes....flat
>...it's the thought that counts.
>RIGHT, WELL
>You decide to work out your core next
>Core is important
>Laying down on the ground, you bend your arms and legs at 90 degree angles, bringing them towards each other
"FUUUTUUUREEEE"
>1
"FUUUUTTUUURRREEE"
>2
>Whoo that was done
>You lay panting on the cold stone floor, Taco motorboating around your prone form
"...yes. I should work out my glutorals. TIME TO LIFT."
 
>Taco shells at attention infront of you
>Not like that
>You get into prime lifting position
>The weight - Taco - is far infront of you, causing you to lean at a 90 degree angle, arms outstretched
>Left foot directly under your left shoulder, right leg extended wide out and infront of you
>Gripping Taco, You visulize the plan: begin to lift in a jerking, twisting motion from infront of you to your far left, then directly above you with arms bent (not to hurt Taco on the ceiling), finishing preferably far behind your head
>Yeah, this is gonna be sweet
"HUUUUU-"
>*Bang bang bang* "What's going on in there?!"
"-Uuuuuugyuuu~?"
>"....I'm not going to ask. Have you learned your lesson yet, colt?"
>Crap, the jailers! They're onto you!
>Or... just checking in on you like they said they would
"Uh, everything's under control. Situation normal."
>"...you don't sound fine. Do we need to come in?"
"uh... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?"
>"....I'm coming in"
>DAMNIT
"Quick, Taco - Stealth mode!"
>Taco lettuces in your direction, then scrabbles up your arm to your back
>You feel her hooves wrap around your neck, and she coos softly
>....close enough
>The door unlatches, and two drones walk in
>"....Uh?"
>Drone A tilts her head, looking at you
>Play it smooth, Anon
"All humans have Taco spines."
>"...but I can tell there's a drone beh-"
"YOUR IGNORANCE IS TRIGGERING MEEE-"
>"No no no not another hummblr colt UGH"
>They both back out, and you chuckle until you hear a gurgle behind you
>Ohshit
>You turn
>nothing
>You turn again
>Still nothing
>.... oh right attached to your back
>You start thinking happy thoughts
>"...that's better" You hear from outside, and a drone pokes her head in
>"We're here to move you to a normal cell, if you'll co-operate."
>Hmm. Cooperation for better treatment
>Surely this isn't the establishment of a pattern of behavior!
"Alright."
 
>They show you to another cell - a typical... movie-set cell, now that you're in it
>Wide, with a couple of buckets, a slab out of the wall for the bed... too small for you, you note
>A basin carved out of the durafoam rock
>A small note taped above it which read "you don't need a mirror - you look great."
>Oh, and the long vertical bars that make up one of your "walls"
>They're spaced weirdly, though - some are larger than others, some have more of a gap...
>It's like someone saw what a jail cell was supposed to have and tried to make it happen
>"Sooo.... uh, here's the rules."
>You turn around, staring at the warden
>Or what you assume is the warden - this one's got a tiny little vest on
>It'd be adorable, if you weren't imprisoned by a bunch of vampire bugs
>She looks up at you with a below-minimum wage stare
"Yeesh~"
>"First, we're not going to kill you. That's off the table."
>Ok, kinda worrying that's the first thing they go to.
>"Please keep your appendages in the jail cell at all times until told otherwise."
>She starts making little movements with her hooves
>"In case of a fire, the exit is here. Please comply with all your safety drone orders, as well as your security drone orders, food drone orders, scout drone orders, medical drone orders, drone drone orders..."
>Ugh she just keeps [spoiler]droning[/spoiler] on
>Your eyes wander as she talks
>There's some surprisingly bright blue... what look like fungi lamps on the walls, as well as on the ceiling
>I guess... it's bright enough to see, dark enough to sleep
>How utilitarian
>The cell across from you is empty now, but seems lived in - if the ruffled blankets and decorative throw-pillows are anything to go by
>Oh wait you know that tone - that's the "wrapping up" tone
>"...and we'll be bringing you your outfit for tonight within the next few minutes. Please wear the outfit provided. No, we will not adjust it for your mane color. No, we will not let you 'just make a few tweaks'."
 
>Outfit?
>Good question, brain. Let's ask
"Outfit?"
>The warden-drone sighs. "Yes, Outfit. From time to time, our queen likes to...spice things up a bit. You're the favored food for tonight, so you'll get an outfit. You'll also get outfits if you ever need to entertain the hive, or... reward a drone for exemplary behavior. Normal feeding and breeding will be done nude, of course."
>You want to argue, but she says it in such a matter-of-fact fashion, you stay quiet
>There's no arguing with the minimum-wage slave
>"Good. I'm glad we're in agr-"
>A door opens outside of your view, and the warden looks down the hall
>"Oh! Already? Well then."
>She leaves you be
>.....RUDE!
>Your natural curiosity and nosiness compels you to press yourself up against the bars, trying to look just around the corner
>Come on damnit just a little m-
>Hoofsteps approach, and you back off to your sleepyslab, raising your foot to rest on it
>Arms akimbo at your hips
>Large Taco on your back
>Yes. Perfect. Nopony will suspect a thing
>"-ease, just... no more dancing. I can't take multiple days of danci-"
>"There there, colt. It was in celebration for a successful raid, there there. We'll let you rest f-"
>"-and the orgy was totally uncalled for! I mean, really, 5 drones at onc-"
>"Shhh, here's your cell now."
>Yep. It's confirmed: You're in hell
>When a guy complains about an orgy...
 
>You shake your head, and Taco coos disapprovingly
"I know, right?"
>The stallion walks into his cell, which is closed behind him
>"Ugh... I can't wait to take these off..."
"Take what off?"
>"Gah!"
>He turns around, noticing you for the first time
>"M-Minotaurs?! Since when did-"
>You raise your hand to silence him
"No no, I used to get that a lot, but actually I'm-"
>"Minitaur, then?" He says, tilting his head, an expression of genuine confusion on his face
>Fucking adorable interrupting horse
"Human"
 
>"Human.... hmm....oh!"
>He looks at you with a wide grin
"Oh?"
>"Never heard of 'em."
"Oh."
>This horse. You might not like this horse
>He notices your glare and clears his throat
>"Ugh, sorry, I just snapped - ever since I was kidnapped from Canterlot, I've just been...so...so..."
"Horse?"
>"Angsty?" The warden says
>"Tphhhhhhhhh" Taco adds
>"Out of touch! No new gossip, nopony to be catty with, nothing!" He huffs, crawling up on his slap and dejectedly kicking a pillow off
>"Well. You'll get a break, food. New Food is going to be... quite popular, from what I've been told."
>The warden grins as she looks at you
>You don't like that grin
>"Now, for your Costume."
"I thought it was an Outfit?"
>"It won't stay on long enough to count." she says, levitating your attire for the night
>Oh dear
"Is... I'm sorry, is this it? Or is this the first bit, or...?"
>"No, that's it. Change, I'll be back in 5 minutes."
"And if I refuse?"
>The drone laughs. "Then we'll get some muscle in here to force you. And I promise-"
>The warden boops her nose against the bar, scrunching up just before her long tongue slides out, starting to-
>Oh dear that's not family friendly
>"-we won't be gentle~"
>With a laugh, she turns and walks away
>You hold up... the abomination
>It... it's two tassles on suction cups and what looks like Leia's bra, if the cups were small... and close together
>There's a long drape of cloth up front... and that's it
"I don't... I don't get it-"
>The stallion across the way clears his throat
>"You... you strip and then rest your-"
"Oh wait... OH. WAIT."
>"-yeah. Your coinpurse goes in the cup an-"
"But that's not going to cover ANYTHING-"
>"-I know! Mares just have this fantasy that we like dressing up skimpy and-"
>The pony goes on a rant
>Something about bitches at some gala and ruining his mane
>Whatever
>You shrug Taco off, who lands on the ground with a *thud*
"....I'm not going to do this."
 
>whitehoers perks up, shaking his head
>"Oh no, you really should - it's utterly dreadful if you don't!"
"I really don't care. I've got to keep some shred of dignity. This?!"
>You grab the entire costume - it fits in your fist - and shake it
"This is bullshit."
>The pone looks like he's going to say something, but you hear the door open again
>The warden comes by all smiles... until she sees you in your suit
>"Hey. Food. I gave you an order - remember the orientation?"
>Hmm. How to crush her...
"I wasn't paying attention."
>She gasps
>The stallion gasps
>Taco gasps
>"B-but I even used the gestures-"
"I wasn't looking."
>She looks down, shaking just a bit
"A-are you-"
>"N-NO I'M NOT"
"You totally are! OH MY G-"
>"S-SHUTUP! GUARDS!"
>The drone turns and yells down the hall, trying to make sure you don't see her cry
>Don't let 'em see you cry
>Within a few minutes there's a group of changelings on the bars of your cell
>literally, on the bars of your cell
>"A-and then he said he wasn't paying attention-" the warden sniffles, her voice only wobbling ever so slightly
>"Sshhhh, there there. It's ok, it's ok." another drone says, patting her on the back
>You remain unrepentant
"Serves you right."
>The comforting drone scrunches her nose. "Well, I see we've got an independent stallion who don't need no ravenous horde. Drones!"
>As one their eyes glow
>Oh... right. Hivemind.
>Oh dear
>"HAAAAAACCCCCCCCCC"
>What
>You see them all start to cough and hack up-
>oh no
>As one they begin to spit ichor on your clothing
>And that's a stain that's NOT coming out!
"Oh, OH GOD WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS UGH JUST-"
>You can't make it out over the spitting, but you're sure you heard a muffled "I told you, bro"
>or was that "ayyy lmao"
>Doesn't matter
>in a matter of moments your clothing is just.... utterly ruined
>But they didn't hit your skin... or the outfit clenched in your hand
>Damnit
>"Now...change."
"Well, aren't you going to leave?"
>"....no." she grins
 
>15 minutes later
>Yes, it took you 15 minutes to change into basically a g-string and nipple-tassles
>Just...
>Positioning is important, ok?!
>You stand outside Chrysalis' Observatory/Throne Room/Rapeatorium, a mild *clink* with each step the only sound to mark your journey
>"Mother-Queen?"
>Wow this hive's got some issues
>The response from inside is curt, to say the least
>"What."
>"Y-your food has been prep-"
>"Aaaahhhhh~Anonymous." The door is enveloped in a green aura, slowly opening to reveal Chrysalis standing in the middle of a...surprisingly empty room
>no war trophies, nothing
>She chuckles. "You look simply.... ravishing tonight."
"Uh... yeah."
>You cross your arms under your tassles, your only security your secret trump card
>"Come."
"Already?"
>"Hmm. Cheeky. I like that. I see you also brought my general?"
"H-how did you know?!"
>HOW DID SHE SEE MY TRAP CARD
>"R-really? Really. She's... right there."
>You crane your head to look
>Through hand signals developed over seconds, nay, minutes together, you informed Taco that she needed to go incognito, stay behind, knockout all the guards and then signal for help from a passing pegasus scouting party
>Taco instead revealed her changeling head, limbs and tail, while keeping her delicious south-of-the-border body
>She also...remained on your back
>So close
"W-well... yanno... uh....hm."
>"Eloquent as always. And it seems that you've got no rescue, no future and no hope but what I give you. Come."
>Whelp.
>Going out as a slave to a sex-starved bug hive
>That gypsy was right
>You walk in as the doors close behind you
>She doesn't move - she doesn't have to. You have nowhere to go
>In this utterly empty room with only a random protruding shaft with a red glowing crystal ontop of i-
>waitaminute
>"....I see you're looking at the natural formations in this room. Are you curious?"
>....there's a memory that stirs within you
>An ancient one
"....where am I?"
>"An ancient Dragon keep. It never fell - until we moved in, of course."
"Where. Am. I."
>She chuckles. "So earnest! [spoiler]Why, you're on [spoiler]Mt. Aggrocrag[/spoiler], of course."[/spoiler]
>She grins
>So do you