Title: Daring Douche 18: Save your Stallion! Author: brandnewwritefag Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/quz3ZRaK First Edit: Saturday 20th of December 2014 09:56:32 AM CDT Last Edit: Saturday 20th of December 2014 09:56:32 AM CDT >You sigh as you stretch out >Even the guest bedroom was comfortable as fuck, considering it came from a PRINCESS who was now TOTALLY YOUR BEST FRIEND. >Oh, I forgot. >BE DARING >there we go. Who else would you possibly be? >Anyway, You spent the night drinking with awkward-virgin twilight and discussing the finer points of clopfiction >Turns out that librarians are kinky as fuck >You two unabashedly sported wingboners as you talked about potential positions, his size and shape, what he'd feel like >The sounds that he'd make >what his scen- >*pomf* >Dangit. Morning wingboners are a pain. >You groan as you roll over onto your tummy >Celestia, you did NOT want to leave this bed >But then again, hopefully you could pick up Anon today! >The thought makes you happy, and you spring out of bed >Opening the door you hear some muffled sounds of conversation >Whelp. Might as well follow 'em, right? Better than wandering aimlessly. >After a few minutes you make your way downstairs to a... pretty tasteful breakfast nook >Huh >Twilight waves to you, blushing >Her dragon-slave is busy in the kitchen, cooking breakfast >But what really gets your attention is the fresh pot of coffee >Aww. Dis mare right here >You sit down beside her, nodding "Mrnn" >Whelp. Brain's still not booted. >"Hehe, Good Morning, Daring."   "Heh. Morning to you too, Twily." >Twilight smiles, pawing a hoof at you. "Seriously, only my brother calls me that..." "So purple smart, then?" >Twilight laughs. "Better than grape encyclopedia! I'm serious, where does anon even-" >The *clank* of plates hitting the table interrupts her. Apparently spike is done >No, I mean he's just done. >"I'm.... gonna just stare at sweetiebelle for a few hours." He says, not really asking permission >"Well, I'm not sure that's a healthy-" >"Anon has taken the only mare I've ever loved. Let me have this." he says, looking at you two with eyes that have seen way too much >I mean seriously. This kid just FEELS like a crystal pony refugee. >Twilight waves him off, and off he goes "So... yeah." >Good intro there, Daring. Fantastic. >The two of you eat in relative silence, every so often sharing an in-joke or a smile >It feels good to relax with a pone you can trust >Huh. I guess that's what's been missing for so long >trust >Well that and respect >"Anyway." Twilight finishes the last of her haybacon. "I figure we'll head over to the jail, pick up anon and spend the day buying him whatever his little coltish heart desires. Hopefully he's got a short attention span like every other stallion, and we can just make this a bump in the road..." "Good idea, Twi. I really.....REALLY don't want him reflecting on me being the cause of his prolonged imprisonment." >Twilight laughs >You could get used to the sound   >"Yeah. But I mean, it's not like anything's happened to him! Ponyville's a quiet town. He probably spent some time on a cot and that's it." >You nod >Honestly, you couldn't expect anything drastic ever happening to this sleepy little town "So, shall we?" >Twilight nods and stands up, magicking the dishes into the sink >"Sounds like a plan. Let's head on out." >The two of you make your way onto the street, and into the beautiful dawn >Absolutely nothing could go wrong! * * * >So pretty much everything is horrible. >Anon's cell is empty >Well, it's empty of Anon. >The night-guard apparently are sleeping with the Ponice, so there's that >But there's not the colt you're looking for. >"I just don't know what went-" "No. Shh." >"What? I'm just saying tha-" "Shhhhhhhh." >You press a hoof to Twilight's lips >It's time for your ADVENTUROUS DETECTIVE WORK SKILLS to kick in >You point to a couple wine stains "I think there was a struggle...and look." >You pull the ponice's mane back - a nasty bruise has formed. "There was a struggle....But who overpowered him?" >"I have no idea! I mean, what kind of mare would fight a stallion and kidnap him in the dead of night?" >The two of you take a few seconds to ponder before coming to the same conclusion. "Luna." >"Luna." >Damnit. It had to be the ancient one.   >"Ok ok ok. So we need a plan." >You gently hoof one of the ponice in the gut >He moans softly - yet lustily >You can't suppress a shiver. "Right. So what should we do?" >Twilight thinks for a moment. "First, we should let Celestia know that Luna probably has Anon in her custody. That would be step one - then we should round up the girls and go get him." >You nod "Heh. You realize we're going to owe him like, a year at the spa and a thousand pairs of horseshoes after this, right?" >Twilight chuckles. "Yeah, yeah. But at least he'll be here, yanno?" "Mmm. Right, well, we're burning daylight here-" >"Yeah. Uh... so Spike probably went to Carousel Botique-" "Frickin....ponice." >You hoof the guard in the gut again >"-so we should head on over." Twilight finishes, as she turns and heads out of the cell. "Right, right." >Both of you leave the ponice station and the guards >You flex your wings and take off, soon joined with Twilight as you glide your way over to the extremely coltish fashion shop >I mean, the mare knows her clientele, but DAMN could she fit any more hearts on the thing? >Twilight waves at you to get your attention >You look at her and then to where she's pointing >A tiny green lizard hides among the bushes just outside the window >You can *feel* his disappointment >Poor bastard   >The two of you bank down and land quietly behind him >You don't want to disturb the little guy, but... >you catch him mumbling something >"bendy marshmallow ponut ho-" >Yeah you've heard enough >With a loud cough you grab his attention and he spins around faster than a tornado >"CAN'T A LIZARD CATCH A BREA-OH. Oh. H-hey you two, what's up?" >Spike nervously laughs >You're both unimpressed >He drops the facade quickly enough. "Alright, alright, I know - don't be a creeper. It's ju-hey wait, why are you two even here? I thought I'd have the day off!" >"First" begins Twilight, "I never agreed to you having the day off. You just assumed so - Second, you've been really moody lately, and you need to cut it out. Third, you know you have daily chores to do." >With each number Spike's mood drops just a bit >"Fourth, I need you to send an emergency letter to Celestia. And Fifth..." >Twilight leans in with a smile. "If you finish up early I'll double your allowance while I'm away." >That earns her a smile from the dragon. "Promise?" >Twilight nods. "Sure thing. And I know Sweetie Belle will need someone to play with, seeing as how Rarity will be joining us on our trip." >There's a ...bittersweet smile on his lips. "Y-yeah... alright! Thanks! So this letter-" >Poor bastard. We can't all be winners. But he's young, there are plenty of mares on the plains. >You start to daydream a bit about that cold in school >You don't really forget your first love... but you do get over it >Your face sours a bit as you remember Derpy giving you the confidence to approach him... >Fuck. Hearthswarming is going to be really awkward this year... >Hey Daring? >Yes brain? >Twilight's lookin atcha. >Whu? "Whu?" >Twilight sighs, like a parent talking to a foal. "I said, does that sound abo- know what, nevermind. Spike, send it off." >In a puff of dragonsmoke the letter disappears, carried off by the wind.   >You kneel down to Spike's level "You're a good Dragon spike. You'll...you'll be fine..." >You rest a hoof on his shoulder, mouthing 'you'll be ok.' >"Uuuuhh.... kaaay so I'm going to leave now. You're exhibiting 3 of 7 signs for stranger danger, sooo..." >You remove your hoof lightning-quick from the little bastard "N-no, It's no-" >He raises his claws. "Hey hey... hey it's ok, I'm just... uh.." >He backs up then starts sprinting back to the castle. "Gottagobye!" >You facehoof hard while Twilight giggles >"I don't know what got into you, but he's fine." "Being labeled a foal-fiddler is NOT fine, Twilight..." >She shrugs. "Trust me, he'll eat away some of his feelings while we're gone and be right as rain in a week." >Well.. uh. That doesn't sound healthy. Maybe you should talk to Twilight about her foal rearing ta- >Hey Daring >Uuuh, yes, Brain? >Your stallion is kidnapped. PRIORITIZE. >RIGHT, right. Thanks. >fugeddaboudit >The two of you make your way to the boutique and knock sharply on the door >"Cooomiiinnng~" a sing-song voice calls out >Ugh. These kinds of mares are always such a chore >Twilight turns to you. "Now we need to break it to her softly, because she's reall-" >The door opens to a smiling Rarity. "Why Twilight! Daring! What a wonderful surprise!" >Twilight smiles wide. "Rarity! Thank goodness, do you happen to have a mo-" "Anon's been foalnapped by Luna who is holding him at the castle. Are you a bad enough mare to help save him?" >You can FEEL Twilight's gaze lock onto you >Just stare straight ahead, Daring. >Rarity starts to wobble a bit >Oh shit is she going to faint? You can't handl- >"OH MY CELESTIA YES!" "What." >"What?!"   >"WHAT? Darlings, how can you NOT be excited?! Why, this is the stuff of romantic novels - our stallion, locked away in a tower, forced against his will by a mare mad with power! Oh, this is just like that one novel-" "Shining Shield and the Tower of Trouble" >"Shining Shield and the Tower of Trouble! Oh, Darlings - DO YOU THINK THEY WILL WRITE A STORY ABOUT US?!" >Twilight just....looks at you >Like she can't understand what the tartarus just came out of your mouth >You start to blush, but keep staring straight ahead into the ranting marshmallow "YEAH, SO." >You forcefully cut her off "We need to get going, what with the whole 'saving our stallion from being raped' and whatnot." >"Well to be fair," Twilight counters "we don't know what Luna's doing to him. For all we know, she could just have him in counseling or something - some way to work out his aggression." >You and Rarity roll your eyes in sync. "But that's not fun OR romantic!" "Yeah, what GAH~" >Suddenly pink in your vision >This mare is trying to kill you with her surprises >But you're onto her now >"Hehehe! So we gotta climb the tower, fight off the evil mares, and then get some good, hot [spoiler]love[/spoiler]." >You point at Pinkie, then at your eyes, then at her again >"Dear! Don't be so crass! Anon is a gent-" >"Yeah yeah gentlestallion COME ON, RARITY. You know what happens in those books of yours." >"B-books of MINE? Need I remind you that you've loaned to me an enti-" >Suddenly cupcake >Conflicting emotions pass across Rarity's face - 'this mare just shut me up' + 'damn this is a fine-flank cupcake' + 'you cannot stop the truth' >"GIRLS. Let's just... let's just get everypony else and set off, alright?" >Aww, Twilight, trying to impose order amongst chaos.   >Pinkie does that giggle-laugh of hers >"Silly pony, we don't have to! I've already gathered the girls at the Train Station!" >The three of you look at her "How in the world di-" >She turns around an-WOW she just presented to you wow >She's wiggling it and everything >"By the power of my [spoiler]Deus ex machina[/spoiler], of course!" >Wow you did not need to see that so early in the day "Damn, I didn't need to see-" >"My Pinkie Sense? Hehe, you can't see a sense - ooh! Unless it's sight! But can you see sight? Twilight, can-" >"NO. No just... alright, whatever." Twilight sighs "What, really? We're just gonna accept th-" >"Trust us, dear. Just let it go." Rarity turns around, shutting and locking her door. "Shall we be off?" >The three of you nod and make your way to the station * * * >"So whatcher sayin' is, is that Luna's run off with Anon, n' we gotta get him back?" >"That's the long and short of it, Applejack." Twilight says >"Well what's the problem then?! Daring and I will rush in, fight Luna off and rescue Anon like THAT!" >Rainbow Dash smacks her hooves together for emphasis "Well the first problem I see with that is the whole 'assaulting a royal' thing" >The wind leaves RD's sails >"Heh... oh, right. That." >"S-so how are we gonna save our anon? The poor colt must be scared a-and confused and..." Fluttershy starts to wrap herself in her own wings, hiding behind her mane. >Pinkie nuzzles her. "There there, it's alright! Nonny's made of harder stuff than that, he he he" >Fluttershy cracks a smile at the innuendo >You smile too. >"So, what's the plan, Twi?" >"Well AJ, we've already sent a letter to Celestia letting her know what's happened. She's going to wait for us, and then we'll all talk to Luna together." >AJ nods. "An the plan with her?" >She points to a Rarity that's been grinning non-stop for the past 30 minutes >"We just... let her stay in the fantasy?" >Grasping for straws there, Twilight. >"Canterlot in 30 minutes, girls. Get ready!"