Title:           Daring Douche 09: Princess Plans
Author:          brandnewwritefag
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/SJG8ssd8
First Edit:      Thursday 4th of December 2014 06:06:24 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Thursday 4th of December 2014 06:06:24 PM CDT

>DAWN OF THE THIRD DAY
>You're being rocked gently back and forth
>This is kinda nice, if it wasn't so disorienting
"Mhng'way, Sweet Pea.."
>The rocking continues
"Fnnarfn! N'ge. I'll get brecky soon, lemme 'lone."
>"First pet names, and now you assume I cooked breakfast for you? Presumptuous, aren't we?"
>Aaaahhhh buck, right. You're in Anon's bed. Come on brain, you're supposed to be ontop of this
>Ok Daring, two things: (1) I haven't had my coffee, and (2) you gave me a vacation last night on the E.S.S. Boarbon
>Ffffffine.
>You open your eyes to see Anon in loose clothing, bags under his eyes.
>"Hey there. Welcome back to the world of the living."
"Please, Mr. Reaper, I preferred you with your hood on."
>That earned you a laugh and a light smack to your chest
>"Come on, I've got lunch ready."
"Lunsh? Eer, geh!"
>You cough a few times to wake yourself up, rolling over onto your hooves
"Lunch? What time is it?"
>"Oh. Noonish. Closer to 1. C'mon, I can make a mean bowl of cereal."
>Insistant colt... but I guess I wouldn't want some relative stranger staying in my room any longer than necessary
>even if they were a sexy international mare of mystery
>You hop down off of the bed - a leap, really, that thing's way too high - and start out the door, sheets trailing off your body
>You don't notice him quirk an eyebrow, or bend down to pickup his bedspread
>Breakfast is all you're thinkin bout.
>Autopilot engage
>You meander into the kitchen and begin to root through all the things
>Spoons are in the wrong place
>coffee's....not here, it's over there
>ugh
>You make a move to the pantry but a hand grabs your shoulder
>"Hey... how about you just uh. Sit there at the table and I"ll take care of things?"
>Yeah... momma take care... ugh coffee need.
>Good sexual innuendo there brain, top stuff.
>You sit at the table and watch him work
>Admittedtly you also kinda made a mess of his kitchen, so...
>Anyway. It's fascinating how he does things. No hooves (of course) or mouth-use, just all hands and fingers
>Coffee kettle is being prepared! Good, good.
>He places two bowls on the table, some glasses and a couple cereal boxes, as well as fresh milk
>"I hope you don't mind if I don't cook today."
>Eh. Not the hoof-made brecky you're used to, but it'll do for now
>But you'll be sending dis stallion to some home economics classes or something
>He didn't even try to make an omelette - with how your other colts talk as they make 'em, it should be easy
>Anwyay. What do we got here
>We have....
>you grin
>"Hey, don't judge."
"I'm not judging, just... really?"
>You grab and shake the box of frosted ponuts
>He grabs it and grumbles as he pours himself a bowl
>"Half your shit here is made out of hay or alfalfa or something else I can't eat. I can eat ponuts, so..."
"Fair enough. What else is here?"
>You look at the other box - Applejacks, with a stylized mare kicking an apple tree. You could go for some applejacks, you guess.
>Better than frosted ponuts
>You pour yourself a bowl and add milk, digging in
>Both of you eat in silence - not awkwardly, but more in the 'fuck I'm really *that* hungry?' manner
>Om nom
>The smell of fresh coffee permeates the kitchen, and you visibly perk up
>He notices it too, and afer he finishes his first bowl he goes up to check on it
>Aaannnd.... YES the mugs are coming out
>A few moments later you're both sipping on the delicious lifeblood of the gods
>"So. What've you got planned for today?"
"Uh. That depends, what day is it?"
>"Saturday."
"Well...."
>Dangit ok figure out some way to be seen with this human in town
>cement that rumor
"Would you like to-"
>He shakes his head. "Sorry, but I'm gonna cut you off here. I've got plans with AJ, RD and Ponks. Maybe Monday or Tuesday we can try somethin, but my weekends are my own."
>Damn.
>Waitaminute....ok this could still work.
"Alright, no problem. I should probably touch base with Princess Sparkle"
>Anon chuckles. "You can probably just call her Twilight. Everyone else does."
"Fine, Twilight. Compare notes, all that good stuff."
>"Sounds like a plan." He smiles at you over the cup, his bed-mane untamed.
>His eyes crinle a little at the sides, and... ah buck you need to go or else you're gonna do something sexy.
"Alright, I'll get moving. Do you need me to help you with anything?"
>He shakes his head no. "Nah, I can clean up here."
>Ok, so this colt is somewhat trained on housekeeping. Not too bad.
>You talk for a little while longer, finish your cup and leave
>THIS TIME WITH YOUR PACK cause Brain was on point!
>Good job, brain.
>No probs, Daring.
>You take to the skies
>Time to talk to a princess
>Sunlight streamed through the open window
>little dust motes flew fitfully in the air currents, going here or there with no purpose at all
>Inside, a princess, sighing softly in her study; all was well and quiet for some good old-fashioned-
"WOOOOO"
>You dramatically and awesomely (yeah that's a word shutup) bust through an open window, somersaulting over Twilight
>Landing perfectly in - you guessed it, a Daring Pose(tm)
"JUST DO IT!"
>Ok, testng the new catchphrase...hmm. C+.
>Princess Mad Levels: She So
"Oh hey there Twi-"
>"WHY CAN'T ANYPEGASUS JUST USE THE DOOR?!" Twilight yells, effectively using the Royal Canterlot Voice
>She also ends up busting out the other two windows in her study
>whoops
>Your ears flat back against your head as she stares daggers at you
>You close your eyes
>Whelp. Gonna die now, was a fun life. You just wish you had rutted Anon once.
>Well. Way more than once.
>Ok you wanted to keep him as a little rut-slave but STILL
>...wait not dead yet?
>You risk opening an eye. The princess is there just breathing deep, doing this weird forehoof thing
>But it's calming her down, so whatevs
"I uh, I'm sorry Princess Twilight. Forgive an adventurer her quirks, I meant no harm."
>You bow... come on sappy apology do your damn jo-
>"It's alright, it's alright - I shouldn't get so mad over such small things." Twilight's horn glows, and the windows repair themselves
>"And you can call me Twilight... I don't really like the Princess title."
>Well this is new. A down-to-earth royal? Huh
>You rise.
"As you wish, Twilight. I thought it would be a great idea to come over and share with you my notes and obse-"
>"EEEEEEEEEEE You have new Data!" The princess does this little happy dance.
>She also used the royal canterlot voice to do her girlish squeal
>You're deaf.
>After rolling around on the ground in extreme pain and extreme silence, Twilight casts a healing spell on you
>*pop!*"..s..so very sorry I'm not used to all the quirks of this body I'm really sorry I can erase the memory of this happening if that will help reduce the trauma oh dangit" Twilight rambles as she heals you
>Pain is gone, so you're all good. What was that about mind-erasing?
"Ah, no thanks! No need... to go into my brainmeats. Just... I'm fine, I'm fine."
>She sighs. "Whew, good, good. So, uh. Data?"
>You look at her
>She has the cheesiest, awkwardest, most honest smile ever
>You just can't say no
"Sure! Do you have somewhere we want to discuss this, or...?"
>Twilight shakes her head. "No, here's fine. I'll make some tea-"
>Damnit. Tea is for stallions.
>"-and you just setup right on that table over there."
>Twilight points over to a low table with cushions around it
>fair enough
>You setup while she gets to work on the (bleh) tea
>Your journal, some sketches - whoops, not those doodles - aand that's about all you have
>You turn your head as you hear the gentle clopping of hooves against the floor
>"So I didn't know what type of tea you liked, so I ended up getting peppermint, if that's ok."
"It's...fine."
>Do you really look like a mare that likes tea? Really?
>Apparently sensing some hesitation in your voice, purplesmart decides to continue breaking the ice. "Did you know peppermint - and mint scents - help with concentration and alertness?"
"I did not know that. Interesting!"
>Wooooooooowwwwww this mare. If RD was peacocking, this filly is the exact opposite. Honey, have you ever been touched by a colt?
>Twilight smiles. "Yeah! There's a whole science behin-"
>Nope gotta cut this off right now or you'll be here all day
"Hey, one science at a time, ok?"
>Twilight giggles and nods. "Sure thing. So whatcha got for me?"
>Well....now is the time to enact your super secret plan
"Well...before we go into this, I was wondering something."
>"Sure, what's on your mind?" Twi asks, sitting down across from you.
"So we've both done private observations, and that information is going to be useful - no doubt. But, what if we were to both go on an, ah, excursion and observe Anon? We can bounce ideas and theories off of each other, then come back here and check our individual notes."
>Oh yeah talk nerdy
>Twilight's eyes sparkle and she shakes a little
>...wow apparently you just gave her a nerdgasam
>"THA-That's a brilliant idea! This way we can remove any individual biases in our observations, and possibly obtain richer data!"
>Whoo she just caught herself slipping into RCV.
>"Come on come on we can talk more on the way" She's practically stuffing your backpack full of quills, ink, parchment, rope (what), candles... wow ok so we're going from preparedness to neurosis.
"How... uh how about we just plan on a day observation, hm?"
>Twilight stops in mid-stuff, blushing sheepishly. "Oh, right. Sorry to get excited." She starts to pull out the two latex sneaking-suits from your pack.
"No. Keep those. You never know."
>Twilight nods.
>With heavy packs the two of you go out to the balcony - Twilight closing the doors behind her
>Only bitches use 'em, I say
>You both take off, performing lazy circles to gain altitude
>Every so often you give her points on catching a thermal. She's getting used to flying, but is putting way too much energy into it
"So, do you know where Anon is right now? When I left, he said he was going to hang out with RD, AJ and a Ponks"
>Twilight giggles again. "It's Pinkie Pie. I don't know where Anon gets our nicknames from. And if that's the case, they're all pretty phsyical mares"
>say what
>"so they're probably out doing a sports or at the lake."
>Doing a spo- this mare never gets out. You'll have to fix that
>Being the "cool mare" to a princess is gonna have a lot of benefits.
"Let's check the lake first."