Title:           SCP Thingpone
Author:          Yoohoo
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/2414Qypj
First Edit:      Monday 29th of August 2016 12:39:21 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Saturday 3rd of September 2016 12:04:30 AM CDT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBPK_oXeJgA
>Day Number…
>You toss the shitty journal into your locker and shut it
>You hate keeping a log of everything you do
>But no, the lab coats want you to keep tabs on every little thing you do
>Whatever
>Those eggheads do whatever the hell they want with their little experiments in the compound
>You’re here you keep them safe or something
>You’re like, the second line of defense they call in when something goes catastrophically wrong
>Or when the regular security ponies couldn’t handle it
>But when that’s not going on, you’re on patrol around the underground compound
>The route varied from day to day
>You didn’t really read the massive binder on the procedure you’re supposed to take, but after a few chewings out from the captain, you were pretty clear on it
>You’re still using it as a paperweight on your nightstand
>You were under strict instructions never to speak to anypony about anything from down here
>As if anypony would believe you about what the fuck existed down here
>Oh Celestia the things that went on down here
>It was a conspiracy theorist’s wet dream
>And entire facility
>Entire facilities all across Equestria
>For dealing with “anomalies” as the coats called them
>Half of them were monsters
>Then there were the inanimate objects that did crazy shit
>Plants
>Anything really
>All of it probably wanted to kill you at some point or another
>But who were you?
>You were Lightning Law, a mare formerly employed in the Baltimare SWAT division
>Formerly
>Now you were employed in the SCP-E Foundation
>It was a massive pay raise, so you can’t really complain
>And the Foundation paid for your move into Fillydelphia
>Into a really, really nice apartment too
>You just wish that this place wasn’t so dreary
>Fluorescent lights flickering all over the place
>Drab concrete walls
>Yeah, you suppose it was more for security than anything else, but damn this was depressing
 
>You trot along, somewhat hoping that something would brighten up the day
>You pry away your armor and scratch your chest
>You knew now why all the Royal Guards had ornate metal armor
>Because all of the really good materials were going here
>What did they call this stuff, plasteel?
>Whatever
>It was sturdy as hell, and that was what mattered
>Ceramic plates layered in between
>This stuff could probably tank an explosion if it needed to
>Though you weren’t too keen to test that out
>Your rounds today brought you to SCP-…
>You know, you don’t even know the fucking number
>Class: Keter
>That was the really, really bad one
>But at least they had it sealed away behind this glass
>At a glance, it looked like a perfectly normal mare
>A light cinnamon coat and a pastel orange mane
>Innocuous and cute, like any other mare
>But that thing wasn’t a mare
>Far from it
>It looked like she’d gotten larger from the last time you saw her
>She was around Celestia’s height now
“I take it you’ve been feeding this thing more, huh doc.”
>The stallion in a lab coat glances over at you
>You didn’t know his name, you referred to every scientist here as “doc”
>Some insisted they weren’t doctors
>It was better than being called egghead
>”Class D ponynell are expendable after all.”
>You shudder a bit
>You still can’t get over the fact that they’re referring to other ponies as “expendable”
>Damned lab coats
>”In fact you’re just in time for another.”
“Ehhhh, I think I’ll pass on that. Got rounds to make and all.”
>You turn to leave, but out of the corner of your eye you swear you can see that thing eyeing you
>A chill runs up your spine as you leave
>You don’t wanna hear the screaming again
 
>You trot down some stairs and swipe your keycard
>You put in your numerical password
>You go through the whole song and dance just so that you can get into the break room and take your lunch break
>Yep
>Same Hearth’s Warming Tree
>Surprisingly, that thing’s an anomaly
>Looks like a normal artificial Hearth’s Warming Tree you’d get at the store
>But nopony can disassemble it
>It’s physically impossible
>You’ve tried
>Copper tried
>The Captain tried
>So it just sits there in the corner of the break room
>It’s safe of course
>You trot up to the vending machine and drop in a few bits for a hay and cheese sandwich
>With a little thunk it falls down and you reach in, plastic crinkling as you grab it with your hoof
>You magic open the packaging as you take a seat at one of the nearby tables
>You take a bite
>It’s good, but then again, you don’t really have high standards for food
>You’re healthy enough
>You’re sitting there, musing about life
>Maybe today would be the day that you gave your parents a call
>Maybe not
>Maybe today was the day you’d finally get laid
>Most likely not
>Maybe today was the day you’d get out there and get yourself a boyfriend
>That’d be rich
>Maybe today was the day tha-
>The lights shut off and a second later the emergency lights come on, bathing the room in a golden yellow glow
>Alarms start blaring
>You hear the intercom repeatedly say this is not a drill
>Maybe today was the day that something really, really bad was gonna happen
>You scarf down the rest of your lunch and make your way out of the break room as fast as you can
>You gallop your way to your equipment locker, several other ponies doing the same
>Time to break out the gear
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymv7GQR6jqc
>You don your helmet
>Sling your PDW over yourself
>Sidearm, holstered after checking to see if the silver bullets were in
>Never knew what some of things took
>You’re just glad you didn’t have to hold one of the shields
>You double check to see if you’ve got everything and you step out of the equipment room
>Nothing crazy has happened YET but you knew shit could go from 0 to 100 real damn fast
>You made your way down the darkened corridor
>The emergency lights were placed as such that there were massive patches of darkness in between
>Great
>Awesome
>Were you afraid of the dark?
>Pssh, you?
>Of course you were
>Just a little bit
>You really wondered when the rest of Nu-7 was gonna get here
>Fuck
>What if 939 got out
>Great, good job making yourself scared, Law
>You take deep breaths and calm yourself down
>Some of these things could literally eat your fear, probably
>Your pale pink aura glows around your weapon, casting a slight glow on the floor as you trot along
>You feel rumbling down the hall
>You know, everything in your body is saying that you should go the other way
>But it’s your job to go towards it
>Save to lab coats
>Be a hero
>Yeah, a hero
>You snort
>You tentatively make your way down the hallway until you hear screaming
>Oh boy
>It’s coming from that thing’s chamber
>You gallop over, hooves pounding against concrete as you enter
>Oh dear fuck what were they doing in here after you left
>There were two awful, spindly-limbed masses of flesh consuming the scientists in the room
>What the fuck, why were there two?
>They seemed to be fighting over one
>Poor bastard
>You fire a few shots at him, hopefully ending his suffering any more
>Unfortunately this gets the attention of those things
“Fuckfuckfuck”
>You retreat through the door you came through and bust open the emergency lock, pulling the lever and sealing the thing in
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFdIGYfYXJw
>You reel back as it slams into the door, making a dent in it
>Nope
>Nope nope nope
>You tactically retreat and turn the corner back into the main corridor
>Oh yay, the sound of gunfire
>You turn your head towards it and watch as an entire squad gets torn to shreds
>Crimson splashes against your helmet
>Yay, the sounds of IMPENDING DEATH
>You look around frantically
>A pony crawls over
>It’s one of the scientists
>He looks like he’s on his last legs
>He scrawls something on the concrete floor before passing out, presumably dead
>You peer your flashlight down to see what it is
>He’s scrawled a symbol of what looks like a circle with two diagonal lines at 10 and 2 o’ clock perpendicular to each other
>Fuck
>What symbol was that again
>You really wish you’d studied up on that a bit more
>You start to slowly back away before one of the… Whatever they are, turns its head? towards you
>Shit
>You turn and start sprinting away as fast as you can
>Fuck this
>No
>You’re outta here
>No pay raise is worth dying over
>You find the nearest stairwell and seal the door shut behind you with the emergency bar
>WHERE THE FUCK WAS THE REST OF NU-7?
>You look up at the daunting seat of stairs leading all the way back up to the surface
>You wonder how far underground you are
>You’re not gonna die stuck down here
>If stairs were the only thing between you and freedom, you were gonna become the stair master
>You quickly start to ascend the steps, going 2, 3 at a time
>You’re fit of course, law enforcement did that to you
>But fuck, stairs are an enemy of ponykind
>You mentally remind yourself of what could feasibly be following you up the stairs
>You’re back to climbing the stairs with renewed vigor
>You don’t know how long you’ve been climbing these stairs
>But you can see the floor numbers slowly approaching the negative single digits
>You were so close
>So close to leaving it all behind
 
>”Evacuate immediately.” Says the intercom
>Finally
>Oh thank Celestia finally you were at the emergency exit
>But who the FUCK connects an elevator to the stairs?
>It was an emergency exit to an elevator!
>Who does this?!
>That’s not just dumb, it’s dangerous!
>Whatever, at least it was already on this floor
>You press the button and it lets out a little ding, the rickety doors sliding open
>You step inside and breathe a sigh of relief as you press the button for the ground floor exit
>Right as you start to slump over and close your eyes for a second, you hear an unearthly screech
>A nearby vent is clawed apart and a fleshy mass pries itself out of it
>No
>No Celestia why would you do something like this
>That thing had followed you
>Perhaps it had some sort of self-preservation instinct in it
>You rapidly press the close door button
>Too late
>That thing had clawed its way inside the elevator
>Come on Lightning Law
>Remember the basics of CQC
>HOW DO YOU DO THAT WHEN THIS THING HAS LIMBS AND MOUTHS EVERYWHERE
>It lunges at you and you’re able to stop part of it
>You don’t know what part, but you stopped part of it
>Unfortunately some very sharp bone teeth things were now conveniently piercing through your midsection
>Don’t cry
>Don’t die
>Don’t scream
>You really wanted to do all but one of those things
>You grit your teeth and squeak as even more penetrate you
>Divine intervention, now would be a really great time for you to happen
>You watch in agony as a massive maw begins to form itself out of the part you stopped
>You cry out in vain for help
>Almost as if by some cruel joke, something happens
>An explosion happens
>Far below
>And all up the elevator shaft
>As the opposite door opens you hear all sound seemingly sucked away
>There’s nothing but silence before a powerful explosion knocks you free from the structure, sending you flying and skipping across grass, concrete, metal
>A lot of things
>You pass out
 
>It’s dark by the time you wake up
>Granted, you didn’t pay attention to way time it was as you were exploding
>You look around
>You can’t open your right eye
>Everything hurts
>Well, everything on your left side hurts
>You can’t feel anything on your right side
>You can’t move anything on your right side
>You reach your hoof over, wincing as you do to feel if everything’s still th-
>Oh no everything’s not still there
>You quickly realize why
>You’re missing a little under half of your right side
>No this can’t be happening
>You’d be dead if you were missing the right half of your body
>Ha
>Ha ha
>Ha ha ha ha ha
>You wanted this joke to be over right now
>So
>Why wasn’t it happening
>Oh right
>Because this was reality
>You decide to close your eye and accept the sweet release of death
>Maybe now you could bleed out all your blood and get some sweet reincarnation deal
>Or something
>Your hoof slumps down
>And as you drift away into nothingness your hear something hissing and screeching
>Maybe later you’d deal with it…
>You gasp and cry out with a start, waking up in a cold sweat in your bed
>You blink a few times, closing each eye in turn
>You had both eyes
>You hold up your hooves
>Both hooves
>Was that all a dream?
>You swing your hindlegs over the side of your bed and sit there for a moment
>That was all so vivid
>The pain felt real
>So did the sounds
>And you were in control of your actions
>Was that what lucid dreaming was?
>You don’t wanna lucid dream anymore
>Your stomach growls
>You’re starving
>You groan and step out of bed, trotting into the kitchen to make some breakfast
>You turn on the stove and yawn a bit, brushing a bit of your scarlet mane from your face
>You break out the eggs and as you go to crack one over the hot pan, your hoof recoils
>Or rather part of it depresses inwards as you hear your bones cracking
>”NO! Away from the heat!”
>That wasn’t your voice
 
>You stand there, staring at your hoof for what feels like an eternity
>You poke at the part on your hoof currently bent inwards
>There’s no pain
>Yet you can still feel as you poke the spot with your hoof
>After a moment, your hoof goes back to normal
>You rub the side of your head and blink a few times
>Did you have a hangover or something?
>You go back to preparing your breakfast, and it happens again
>The second your hoof nears the heat of the stove it recoils away with a sickening crunch and stretching of flesh
>You feel like you’re gonna be sick watching it
>”What’d I just say?”
“W-What?”
>It sounded like it was your own thoughts
>But like somepony was saying it from inside your head
>And it wasn’t your voice
>But it sounded familiar
“Who are you?”
>”Oh you don’t remember me now, is that it? I’m hurt, Lightning.”
>You feel your skin crawl
>Literally
>You watch as your skin and muscle on your forehoof starts compounding in on itself, forming a small facsimile of a pony
>Oh no
>It’s that pony-thing from the Foundation
>”Ahhh, you remember now don’t you? You thought that was all a dream huh?”
>You watch the tiny pony emoting as if she were talking to you face to face
>”Oh no, death could never happen to me, I’m big and strong and have a bunch of friends to back me up.”
>You would say that you don’t sound like that, but she’s using your voice
>”Well newsflash sweetcheeks, your friends or squadmates or whatever you call them, they’re dead. I ate them.”
>You’re about to interject before she says something else
>”Oh yeah, you died too. Well, more like almost died. You were right at the edge, you know.”
>You remember that part
>”You know I never usually see a pony that’s been split in two before. Usually I’m the one that’s made that happen. But you were fortunate for me to be there, and for me to have also been in a similar position.”
“You what?”
 
>”That explosion nearly killed me too, sweetheart, and the way I saw it, it was a win/win for both of us. You get to keep on living, and I get to merge with you and get away from that awful facility. Really you should be thanking me.”
>You look upwards in thought
>If anypony from the foundation ever found out how a Keter anomaly had forcibly merged with you, you’d be next in line for a number in the system
>Then again, the branch you worked at had just exploded
>The mini pony thing receded back into your hoof as she spoke again
>”You know this body of yours isn’t HALF bad.”
>Did she just
>You hear her snickering in your brain
“W-Wait a second, just how much of me is me and how much of you is me?”
>”What’s that? Oh, I’m more you than you, sweetie.”
“What?!”
>”Well I couldn’t JUST assimilate you AND keep us both alive at the same time. I also needed more biomass to stay alive. That was a really big explosion we got caught in, you know?”
>You go back to preparing your food while she’s distracted, cracking an egg over the edge of the pan
>”So I may have eaten you a teensy tiny bit, you know, for your own good! And mine.”
“How much of me did you…”
>You shudder
“Eat.”
>”Dunno, a few organs or so, left the brain and the rest of your head. Long story short there’s enough you for you to be having free will like this.”
>You feel one of your hindlegs starting to kick at the floor
>”But for the most part, I can pull the strings on your body.”
>You sigh and scoop the egg out of the pan and crack another in
>You put some bread into the toaster while you’re at it
>”You know you’ve got a pretty cute tush there, Lightning.”
>You glance back and see, to your dismay, that your tail has turned into an eyestalk
>You can’t even cover up your naughty bits with your nonexistent tail
>”How many stallions slam this nightly? 2? 4? More?”
>You blush
>Has this thing always been so vulgar?
“N-None.”
 
>”Really? What, you a one dick pony or something?”
“No, I don’t get out much. I’m a virgin alright, can we drop it?”
>You feel your tail return to normal
>”So, Lightning Prude, what’s on the agenda today?”
>You really hope that nickname doesn’t stick with her
“I need a new job. Seeing as how my old one blew up.”
>”Mhm. That’s not my fault by the way.”
>You roll your eyes
“I’ve got a friend that helps me out with that sort of thing, he’s nice like that, got a bunch of connections.”
>”Is he cute?”
“What’s that got to do with anything?”
>”We’re like roommates, but even closer, we share a body, you know.”
>You get the feeling you know what she’s getting at
>It doesn’t make it any less creepy
>You shudder a bit
“I don’t really look at him that way, sorry.”
>You hear it sigh
>”You’re no fun. Guess I’m just gonna have to eat some more ponies.”
“Wait, you can’t do that, you’re me!”
>”Implying there’d be any witnesses. You doubt my abilities?”
“I doubt me wanting to be present while it happens.”
>”Oh alright, lemme just split on off and…”
>You feel as if you’re being literally torn in two, pain and all
>You hear splattering as blood (your blood) hits the kitchen floor
“Waitwaitwaitwaitstop!”
>Your body starts to reassemble itself
>”What was that?”
“Fine, fine. What do you want from me?”
>”You either start getting that puss crushed so I can feed off the nutrients, or I start eating ponies. You know how much energy I burn doing all this shapeshifting malark? More than you’d think.”
>You groan as you turn off the stove
>You’ve never facehoofed before now, but it was only appropriate
“L-Look, I don’t like either of those ideas, isn’t there ANYTHING else we could do?”
>”I could assimilate the rest of you, then you wouldn’t have to be there while I go get more.”
“That’s even worse.”
>”Which is why I didn’t suggest it, sweetie.”
 
>You sit out on your balcony and eat breakfast
>You feel an eye moving about on your left shoulder, examining the apartment
>It’s just as unnerving as you thought it’d be
>After you’ve finished, you sit there and think about the situation you’ve found yourself in
“Hey uh… You there?”
>”Of course.”
“Do you have a name?”
>”Just call me Amber.”
>You think that’s a bit of a strange name for an organism like her
>But okay
“So what’s existing like for you?”
>”What kind of question is that, you hippie?”
“I just wanted to know what it’s like inhabiting my body, slash me being a part of you and such.”
>”Imagine that you have individual control over every single cell in your body, and you can make them do whatever you want on a whim.”
“Huh… Can I do that, since we share a body now?”
>She snorts, or giggles or something
>”No. This isn’t a comic book, sweetie.”
>Darn
>You were kind of hoping you had some cool powers or something
>Guess you had to settle for still being alive after being blown up
>You finish up your food and head back inside
>It was time to get ready for the day
>You took a much needed shower (which still didn’t wash away the feeling of wrongness)
>You brushed your teeth
>You replaced the bow in your mane
>And you were ready
>You step out the door and lock it behind you
“Now I’m hoping you don’t do anything crazy when we go and see Steel, alright?”
>”Ooh, what a name.”
“Hush, please. I don’t want ponies thinking I’m insane for talking to myself.”
>”But you aren’t talking to yourself, you’re talking to me.”
“They don’t know that. And please don’t do anything weird like put excess limbs and eyes and such on me in public, okay?”
>”You think me to be that dumb? I know how the Foundation is, they’ve got eyes everywhere, like me when I feel like it. Don’t worry about it so much.”
>Don’t worry about having yourself merged with an alien creature, right
 
>You trot along the sidewalk of one of many main roads
>All the while you’re a bit nervous, and constantly on the lookout for anypony that looks like they belong to the Foundation
>”Hey, Lightning Prude, calm yourself. You look like you’re strung out on Diamond Dust or something.”
“I…”
>You look around
“Sorry alright? I heard stories about what the Foundation can do.”
>”Calm down and keep walking you spaz.”
>You sigh and do so
>You trot inside a familiar bank and trot up to one of the floor managers
“I need to speak with Steel Vaults, please. Tell him that Lightning Law is here to see him.”
>She eyes you curiously before trotting off to the back
>”So tell me what Steel is like.”
>You keep your voice low
“He’s… Something. A little bit crass, but genuinely a good stallion.”
>Almost as if on cue, a door opens and you see a secretary beckon you over
>”Mr. Vaults will see you in a bit. Please take a seat.”
>You do so, taking a seat in one of the surprisingly comfortable chairs as you wait
>There’s a large painting of Steel up on the wall, and you feel your head turning and gaze drawn to it
>”Oh hohoho, so this is the Steel you’ve been hiding from me.”
“You only started living here today!”
>”Today’s your lucky day, Lightning Prude.”
>You get the feeling you’re not gonna enjoy it
>”You’re going out on a date with Steel.”
“B-But we’re just friends, you know! Besides, I’ve got my job and all and-“
>”What job, it exploded, remember? Stop with all your nervousness.”
>You can’t really help it
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pn2-b_opVTo
>The door almost slams open
>In the doorway stands a massive stallion, easily dwarfing your stature even as you stand up
>”Shit, I thought the painting was exaggerating.”
“No, he’s a Clydesdale.”
>You whisper, before Steel turns his attention to you
>”Aha! Hello Lightning Law, what a pleasure it is to see you again!”
“Hey there Steel, long time no see.”
>”Come in come in, we have much to speak about.”
>You trot inside and take a seat in one of the chairs facing his desk
>He of course, sits down behind it in his huge swivel chair
>”So what brings you back to me, Lightning? The job going well? How’ve you been? It’s been a few months, hasn’t it?”
>See this is why you never liked coming in and visiting Steel
>He always fired a barrage of questions at you and you always clammed up
>This time was no different
>Except it was, because you didn’t have control of your body anymore
>Or your voice
“Oh I’ve been doing okay, for the most part, unfortunately I was kind of uh… Fired from my job.”
>Did she really just make that pun
>The fact that you could still see everything through your own eyes was incredibly surreal
>And hearing words come out of your mouth that you hadn’t spoken was as well
>”Fired? Oh whatever for my dear? Surely they know how valuable you are.”
”Eh… Extenuating circumstances.”
>”Well that’s a shame, I take it that’s why you’ve come here today?”
>He flashes a smile your way
>Normally you’d blush and avert your gaze
>BUT YOU AREN’T IN CONTROL RIGHT NOW
“That, among other things, stud.”
>You see Steel raise an eyebrow
>Clearly confused at “you” using such a term
>”Right then. Well I suppose it won’t be too difficult to find you another place of employment. Somewhere that can utilize your… Skills.”
 
>”Of course, it’ll be a couple of days. But everypony likes to enjoy a vacation now and again, hm?”
“Oh of course!”
>You can feel part of your hindleg splitting off and snaking its way underneath his desk
>You’re also greeted with an entirely new perspective, as it seems your hoof has grown an eye
>You wonder just what Amber is up to
>”Getting a good look at what he’s packing, duh. Wanna make sure that our body is ready for tonight.”
>Oh joy, she’s already referring to it as “our” body
>Wait
>Tonight?!
>”Yes tonight, I’m hungry.”
>You try to avert your gaze
>Can you even avert a gaze of a completely new eye?
>Not now, you’ve got no control over your body
>You’re given an unabashed view of Steel’s rather impressive dick
>Like, damn
>You knew that he was a Clydesdale and all but, fuck
>That was gonna be inside you?
>No, bad thoughts
“So, Steel, besides all this talk about jobs and whatnot, what do you in particular have going on later?”
>You still didn’t like being trapped inside your own body
>”Hm? Oh a couple of meetings, planned on heading out to the bar later, why?”
>He adjusts his tie a bit as he rifles through a few papers
“Bars can be so boring sometimes, how about instead you come over to my place? I can make something to eat, we can have a movie night or something.”
>You highly doubted Amber knew how to cook
>Or maybe she expected you to do all that
>You can see your third point of view getting closer to his crotch
>Amber pls no
>You see Steel raise an eyebrow
>”You’re quite sure about this?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
>He gives you a deadpan stare
>”Lightning, don’t act coy, you know my track record with mares.”
>Yeah, creaking springs and thumping headboards, how swell
>You lean forward and rest your forelegs on his desk
>Well, YOU don’t, but you get the point
>Amber wiggles your eyebrows a bit
>Steel seems to get the idea
>”Well, who am I to turn down such a lovely mare?”
 
>After a bit more conversation with Steel “Sex Appeal” Vaults you take your leave
>As you step outside you’re given back control over your body
“Oh thank Celestia… I thought I was going to faint or something.”
>”Calm down you spaz. Get that ass in gear, we’re going home to clean up.”
“You know what could have happened if he’d found out about what you were doing under that desk, right?
>”I’d just have to assimilate him then.”
“I’d rather you not do that…”
>”Then it’s time for you to get that cherry popped.”
>You sigh and start trotting your way back to your apartment
>There couldn’t be that much to clean, right?
>You’re starting to get the feeling that maybe Amber is a little bit too creepily into getting you fucked
>You wonder why that is
>”Beeeecaaaause I can FEEL your stress! We’re one now, Lightning, and nearly dying as well as becoming my new body can frazzle your nerves.”
>Do you have nerves at this point?
>”Yes you do. And while I could try and calm you down artificially, why not get you some cock and get me fed at the same time? It’s a win/win situation.”
>In some strange, roundabout way she’s got a point
>You open up the door to your apartment and trot inside
>You end up flopping onto the couch and groaning
>This couch sure was comfy
>Where'd you get this from again?
>The weird foreign store down the road
>Oh yeah... Steel "The Real Deal" Vaults helped you move it into your apartment
>You close your eyes for a moment
>Just for a moment
>You're totally not gonna fall asleep
>Nope
>Not one bit
 
>AND THEN SUDDENLY IT’S NIGHTTIME
>You awaken with a start, face in fridge
“Did I fall asleep?”
>”Oh, you're awake.”
“I-I was tired okay? Talking to Steel wore me out!”
>”You’re pathetic. If THAT wears you out then Steel’s gonna be slamming his dick into a limp noodle by the time he’s done.”
“S-Slamming?”
>You shake your head vigorously
“Just what were you doing rummaging around in the fridge?”
>"I cleaned your house. Now you get to cook.
>You nearly flop to the floor when you get control back
>”Start cooking.”
>Fuck
>Something on short notice
>Something that doesn’t require much effort
>UH
>SPAGHETTI!
>You frantically set a pot to boil (remembering the water this time)
>Hastily you take some pasta and snap it in half, tossing it in
>SAUCE
>You need sauce!
>You rummage around in your cabinets, letting out a sigh of relief once you finally find the jar
“Oh thank Celestia…”
>So for the next few minutes you were cooking whilst Amber decided to explore your household
>By detaching part of your SPINE AND SKITTERING AROUND LIKE A FUCKING SPIDER OH GOD KILL IT
“I really hope you aren’t planning on staying like that the whole time if Steel’s gonna arrive soon…”
>”Oh please, you act as if I’ve got no grasp on the gravitas of a situation.”
>You didn’t expect her to know the word gravitas
>”Oi, I can still hear your thought you know, I am ALL of you, not just the part exploring your house.”
>You groan softly
>Then you freeze as you start to feel your inside shifting about
“A-Amber. What are you…”
>”Getting you ready to take that magnum dong.”
>You can already feel your face getting redder
“You don’t have to be so blunt about it.”
>”If I’m not blunt about it, I’m afraid you’re gonna forget what you’re in for tonight.”
“I think it’s pretty hard to forget…”
>”Think he’s got any crazy fetishes?”
“H-How would I know something like that?!”
>Knock
>Knock
>Oh no