Title:           Thing Part 2 (title pending) [Celestia]
Author:          Woofr
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/f06w0Frw
First Edit:      Sunday 26th of April 2015 10:48:25 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Sunday 3rd of May 2015 10:41:32 AM CDT

>The melody of a phoenix caught in your ears.
>Slowly, you opened your eyes to look upon that phoenix of yours.
>Philomena was perched up on top of the four poster bed, looking down at you with her head cocked.
>You smiled back at her, it felt odd though, like different muscles were at use.
>Bah, probably just morning drowsiness.
>On instinct you closed your eyes again and reached out to Luna, bidding her good morning.
>Once more, you noticed something was off.
>It was as though you were magically numb, your spell had a delay to it and you could barely hear Lulu’s response.
>”You’re coming in a little quiet this morning Tia. Maybe you need some more rest?”
>You shook your head, it wasn’t that you were tired.
>There was something else.
“No, I’m just a little off right now. Give me a moment.”
>Focusing, you drew in a deep breath and held it.
>Ah, it was your Stream.
>You’d never seen it do this before, just up and separate from you like that.
>All around you it flowed, never touching you directly, just hovering in a spherical shell about you.
>It was almost like a nullification field was holding it at bay, exactly like the natural one Anonymous-
>Your eyes shot open and you sat up.
>A quick look down confirmed your suspicions.
>You were in Anon’s body.
>Flicking your eyes to your right, you saw…
>Well, “you” lying there in bed.
>This was certainly an interesting development, it’d been what?
>Three thousand years since you’d accidentally switched bodies with someone?
“Luna, it seems your mind sharing spell has caused me and Anonymous to switch bodies.”
>…
>”Shit. Well I can get it fixed, but it’s going to take all day for me to put together the correct counter spell. Anonymous is going to freak out, so I recommend you try to ease him into the fact.”
 
“Alright. Don’t feel too bad about it by the way, I’ve done far worse with simpler spells before. Remember that debacle with that griffonian mob boss and the Minotaur priest? Took decades to really clean up that mess.”
>”We never did find that poor eunuch. Good luck sis.”
>Sighing, you stood up and out of bed, then immediately fell flat on your face.
“Ouch.”
>How did Anonymous just walk around like that?
>Hell, how did he RUN?
>You took your time getting up again, pushing yourself back up with your new arms.
>For a second you just stood like that, on all fours.
>I mean seriously.
>If Anonymous could stand on all four of his appendages like this, why didn’t he?
>His monkey ancestors certainly got around like this most of the time.
>Whatever.
>Out of habit, you tried to blow your mane out of your eyes, to no avail.
>Gingerly, you pushed yourself back onto your feet and up again.
>A bit of arm waving aaaannnnddd…
>Success.
>You’d found your balance, standing up straight with no wobbling.
>Now to wake up Anonymous.
>With an awkward and stumbling gait, you walked around to the other side of your bed and crouched down.
>Your, well, his head was dangling out over the side with his muzzle nearly touching the ground.
>You reached out with a hand and gently brushed Anon’s mane, whispering.
“It’s time to wake up Anonymous.”
>It was so odd hearing that voice of his coming out when you spoke.
>”Mhgmmgh. Five more minutes.”
>You stifled a laugh, and started to scratch him behind the ear.
>So much for easing him into it.
>With the mental fortitude he’d shown during that shared dream though, you were sure he could handle it anyway.
 
“Why the hell does that feel so good? What the heck are you doing Tia?”
>”Oh just a little something you like to do every morning.”
>What.
>Celestia always did like to be cryptic in the early hours.
>You opened your eyes.
>Jesus fuck what was up with your vision, you felt like you had way more than just 20/20.
>Slowly you lifted up your head, a tedious affair, it felt so much heavier than usual.
>”Now you’re awake.”
>The fuck?
>Why was Celestia holding up a mirror to your face?
>What was up with her voice?
”Celestia what are you-“
>Your “reflection” didn’t move with you.
>Smiling wide, Tia reached out and booped you on the nose with your hand.
>With a twitch, you nearly knocked yourself out trying to bring your hand to it.
>You didn’t have any hands now.
>Hooves, you had hooves.
>I am now a pretty sun horse.
>With sudden alacrity, you jumped out of bed and stood with your head raised high, muzzle scrunched.
>Then you fell onto your side.
“I am become the little mare.”
>Tia smirked at you, poking your back with her foot.
>”You’re a big mare.”
“For you.”
>"Aren't you supposed to say 'I'm you'?"
 
“Well you’re supposed to ask me if getting caught was part of my plan, but you don’t see me complaining.”
>Celestia stares down at you, brows perked with a distinct look of confusion.
>”What.”
“Nevermind, we have to get ready for the day. Speaking of which, how are we doing this? We just going to trade schedules or are we going to tell everyone about the switch?”
>Sighing, Celestia leans down and helps you up, putting you on all four hooves with a little finagling.
>”I’m afraid we’ll just have to trade schedules, warning everyone about a body switch tends to cause a lot of legal problems and in general is a lot more trouble than the two involved taking on each other’s roles. Trust me, this is my third time.”
>You shrug and begin taking a few test steps, getting used to the whole four legged deal.
>With some trepidation, you start walking to the bathroom.
>If you were going to do this, you were going to do it with a warm shower in the morning.
“Alright, let’s brief each other while we get dressed.”
>You’d be lying if you said you weren’t at least a little turned on by this.
>I mean fuck, you had the mare pussy right there waiting to be ravaged.
>Sure you were in a great relationship with Celestia, with a VERY healthy sex life, but this was pretty damn hot.
>Back turned to Celestia to hide your face, you pushed open the bathroom door.
“I-I’ll be just a moment.”
>She cocked an eyebrow at you and as inopportune as the timing was…
>You winked back.
>After some heavy blushing and stammering excuses, you retreated into the washroom away from that stare of hers…
>Well, yours.
>I’m going to need all the therapy after this shit.
 
>One rather steamy shower later, Celestia was helping you into your regalia.
>”Now then. Lucky for you I’m not scheduled to meet with the public today, rather, you’ll be meeting with the head of the Solar Guard to receive a few security reports. That shouldn’t be-”
>A pause as she shoved on the last horseshoe and walked over to retrieve your peytral and crown.
>”Too difficult, Gleaming Star is both reasonable and experienced. Two millennia of service tends to make for that. The real meat of your day today is going to be the talk with the governing ponies of Baltimare.”
>Gleaming Star was pretty fucking hardcore from what you remembered, basically set the standard for a by-the-books veteran who’s seen every damn thing you’ve ever seen and worse.
>You lowered your head to let Celestia adorn you with the final pieces.
>”They’re getting on in their years-“
“Like the rest of the Day Court.”
>Tia rolled her eyes.
>”They’re getting on in their years and they’ve been in office for quite a while. You’ll need some patience, recently they’ve been trying to ‘update’ their way of doing things. Bless them, but they’re a bit confused.”
“What do you mean? We talking corruption?”
>Sighing, Celestia stood back up and walked over to the bathroom.
>”You’ll find out. Just be… Nice. After you talk with them there’ll be the court itself, likely they’ll be presenting a new budget of some kind for Baltimare. I’m certain you have the insight to decide whether it should pass or not.”
“Alright. Get showered then, we’re starting to run short on time and I still need to learn how to levitate things.”
>”Sure thing little miss tail lifter.”
>Celestia slaps you on the ass before heading into the shower, throwing you a wink, of the non-lewd variety.
“Y-you too.”
 
>Anon really lacked self-control.
>You could understand his arousal, and frankly it was kind’ve flattering, but still.
>…
>You weren’t entirely innocent either, considering how hard your member was.
>Shaking your head, you twisted the water knob to cold, shivering a moment till the feelings had dissipated.
>Now wasn’t the time.
>Stumbling a little as you took the first step out of the shower, you grab a towel and dry yourself off.
>You stare at the towel a moment.
>Would going out naked right now make Anonymous feel awkward?
>Yes.
>Yes it would.
>Well that settled that then, you tossed aside the towel and flung open the door with gusto, arms spread wide.
“Dress me.”
>”Dude.”
>Anon blushed furiously till your underwear was on, not speaking a word till he started on the pants.
>”Today I’m working to stop Bluebood from passing a new bylaw.”
>More confident now, he guided you with his forehooves, pulling up the slacks and getting you to zip and button the fly.
>”He wants to make it so that ice cream vendors can sell their products without a proper license. Bastard wants to take over the entire industry, has a ton of unlicensed ice cream ponies in his back pocket ready to flood the streets with their product.”
“What’s the problem exactly? I mean sure, it’s for personal gain, but that doesn’t sound particularly malicious.”
>Anon scoffed, shaking his head.
>He trotted over to the dresser and pushed it open with a hoof.
>”Mind teaching me how to do this telekinesis stuff real quick?”
>You nodded and lifted a hand to point at one of Anons dinner jackets.
“Focus your mind on the item in question and imagine it lifting into the air. Imagine the exact way in which you want it to be manipulated, then apply it to what you’re seeing.”
 
>Anonymous looked back at you with eyes wide in surprise.
>”Is it really that easy?”
“Nope. But that’s how you do it.”
>Rolling his shoulders as though in preparation, Anon turned back to the dinner jacket and squinted his eyes, scrunching his muzzle.
>A few seconds passed in silence, and then a flare of light flitted up Anon’s horn and the dinner jacket burst into flames, disintegrating into ash moments later.
>Still better than Sunspot back in the first millennia.
>Ever the optimist, Anonymous pulled out another dinner jacket to try.
>It met the same fate as the last.
>Two singed jackets later and he had succeeded, prancing around the room with it floating in front of him in a sort of victory lap.
>”Wizard status: Regained.”
“There should be a bit of magic left in my horn, enough to last you the day for sure.”
>Setting down the jacket to hover over a white button up shirt, Anonymous tilted his head and peered at you.
>”How much magic is ‘a bit’ exactly?”
>You closed your eyes and focused your Stream around the horn to feel it out, it was so much more difficult with this damned nullifier.
>Opening your eyes, you replied matter of factly.
“Enough to burn down, reconstruct and then burn down Canterlot again.”
>”Oh. Well I’ll just stick to telekinesis then.”
>With your arms slipped into the sleeves, Anonymous started buttoning you up.
>”Anyway, the problem with Blueblood’s plan is that his ice cream ponies are sub-par at best. The license bylaw is there for quality control, can you imagine all the terrible ice cream? And that’s just counting his ponies, there’ll be plenty of others taking advantage if it gets out.”
>That did sound quite terrible.
>Anonymous floated over a tie and slowly wrapped it around your neck, taking his time to tie it properly.
 
>”That’s pretty much the only responsibility you’ll have. Get as much evidence to discredit Blueblood as possible, dig up all the dirt on him and flaunt it in the Night Court when he tries to pass the bylaw. You got all day today of course. Shining Armor and his crew are here today for training so you can get heavies from him to back you up on the physical details. Look to Fancy Pants for everything else.”
>With a flourish, you pulled on Anon’s dinner jacket, doing up the cuffs before shaking your arms to get the crinkles in the sleeves out.
“Why would I need help for ‘physical details’ exactly?”
>Anon’s ears flopped down and he averted your gaze.
“Anonymous.”
>”You remember that fractured leg and the bruise on my face last week?”
>You frown.
“Yes?”
>”Well. I didn’t fall down the stairs.”
“Were you were attacked?! That is completely unacceptable! Who was it? Where are they?”
>Anonymous set a forehoof onto your shoulder, quick to pacify you with words.
>”It was Fleur de Lis, Fancypants’ bodyguard. She is likely with Fancypants right now. BUT.”
>You tried to rush out of the room, but he held you back with a spread wing.
>”But, I was totally asking for it. I intruded on Fancypant’s turf and I got burned for it. Also I said a few choice words about his mother. Either way, they’ve apologized for it, I’ve apologized for it and we’ve since made up. No bad blood left between the two of us.”
>Thoughts of assassination and coups ran through your mind.
“You’re getting your own personal guard. Take it up with Gleaming Star today and pick your pick out the team. I leave you anyone but Gleaming star himself and anypony from the First Company.”
>”Celestia-“
>You gripped him by the shoulders and stared him in the eyes, there was that happiness again, but you could see the worry there now.
>You wouldn’t miss that again.
“Anonymous. You are getting your own personal guard and that is final. Once we’re married you’ll officially become a prince, and a prince needs a guard.”
 
>You sighed, letting your shoulders drop.
”And so the prince receives his Royal Leash.”
>Ah whatever, Celestia was right.
>It wouldn’t be all that bad anyway, just a little inconvenience every now and then, the whole golden cage deal.
>“May it ever be pulling you back at the most annoying of moments.”
>The two of you had a good laugh before pulling into a hug, the mood brightening right back up.
>As Celestia scratched you behind the ear, sweet Jesus that felt like all the cocaine, you thought about the day ahead.
>You were lucky enough to get the easiest day in Celestia’s week, and Celestia was taking a crack at your simple powder keg of a case.
>This would be easy.