Title:           Celestia/Luna Greentexts: Best Princess
Author:          Wiggy
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/QiqsRRsv
First Edit:      Tuesday 15th of April 2014 03:38:46 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Tuesday 15th of April 2014 03:38:46 PM CDT

>"Luna a shit. Sunbutt's better."
>"Fuck off Sunfag, Luna's the better princess."
>"Lunafags are autists. Praise the sun."
>"Both of you are faggots, Cadance is best princess."
>You had been browsing /mlp/ for hours now.
>You were sitting in your room at Canterlot Castle, your magical internet connection beating any processing speeds at home with ease.
>You sat at your laptop and watched the raging Anons fight over best princess.
>It was a bit ridiculous, you thought.
>They were all good princesses.
>Though Cadance was a few notches lower on the ladder...
>Regardless, you didn't say anything because you liked watching the shitstorm unfold.
>Hooffalls sound out behind your door.
>The royal sisters' chatter could be heard.
>There were knocks at your door.
>"Anonymous, are you in here?"
"Yeah. What'd you need?"
>The door opens and both princesses walk into your room.
>Celestia spoke. "We were wondering if you would be joining us for the Canterlot Flying Grand Prix."
"Oh, yeah, sure. Just...give me a couple minutes."
>You stared at your screen as the fighting continued.
>"Anonymous? Will this be long?"
"No Luna. It's just...hoo."
>Celestia makes her way behind you and leans down to look at your screen.
>"What exactly are you doing, Anonymous?"
"Watching these idiots fight, that's what."
>"Fight?"
"Yep. Apparently people like to argue whether you or your sister is the better princess."
>Now Luna was intrigued too, walking over and standing next to her sister to watch what was happening.
>A response popped up on the screen: "Luna is a socially retarded autism magnet. Seriously, why would you ever turn away from the sun?"
>"An...autism magnet? But I have no autism. And I am NOT socially slow."
>Another response: ">Why would you ever turn away from the sun? Because obviously the sun hurts my eyes. Whitehorse is an ugly bitch."
>Celestia looked hurt.
>"Ugly?"
>"Yeah, I bet Celestia's got a shit-ton more sexual experience than Luna. Moonhorse's cunt is probably dried and cracked up from non-use."
>"Why would somepony even suggest that?"
>"But Celestia's a virgin. Y'know, she has to be a good role model."
>">Purityfag detected."
>"If she's not a virgin, she's a whore who gets around too much."
>"Why do they say such hurtful things, Anonymous?"
"Because they really like to try and argue their point."
>"That just means Luna's forever alone with no one to love her. She can't get some cock worth shit. At least Celestia's got some."
>Luna was frowning.
>"How would they even know any of this?"
"They don't. It's wild mass guessing."
>"Celestia's also a tyrant."
>"Did we just go back in time?"
>"Luna's weaker then her sister anyways. It's not like she could stand up to her."
>"The moon eclipses the sun. That means Luna>Celestia."
>"Are you fucking stupid? Eclipses have nothing to do with this."
>"Luna a shit leader. Celestia's been doing it for 1,000 years. The most Luna's accomplished is proving how much of a dumbass sperg she is."
>"Luna also helps ponies in their dreams. Celestia's just a lazy bitch who vaguely gives hints and gets her ass kicked by the villain every time."
>"Oh, and Luna's faced a villain. Yeah. She'd get beaten way faster then Celestia. She a tiny bitch."
>"Luna is strong though."
>"Yeah, that's why she got her ass sent to the moon for 1,000 years so easily. Celestia's stronger."
>"That also proves Celestia's a tyrant."
>Your laptop is closed by a white hoof.
"Hey what'd you do that f-"
>You turn around and are silenced by the sisters' looks.
>They look sad.
>Maybe on the verge of crying.
>"Anonymous...do they really mean all of those things they said?"
>Oh no, the faggots got to them.
>Either the princesses were thin skinned or they'd never been insulted so badly before.
>"Why would they say those things about my sister and I?"
>"Neither of us is better than the other. You don't think so, do you Anonymous?"
>You set your laptop on the ground.
"No. Of course not. As far as I'm concerned, you're both best princesses."
>They smile.
>"You mean this, Anonymous?"
"Yes. Don't listen to those fuckers. They don't know what they're talking about."
>They stand up straight as you get off of your bed.
>Luna wipes her eyes.
>Celestia clears her throat.
>"Thank you, Anonymous. Now, weren't we going to a Grand Prix?"
>"I believe we were sister. Were you still coming, Anonymous?"
>You put your laptop in its case.
"Of course I am. Come on, let's get out of here."
>The princesses leave the room.
>You follow, excited to watch a race and eat some great stadium food.
>Or whatever the princesses were served.