Title:           Just a silly adventure
Author:          Swift_M0nkey
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/gaeaHnw4
First Edit:      Tuesday 5th of March 2013 10:42:27 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Tuesday 5th of March 2013 10:42:27 PM CDT

>Crazy day in Equestria.
>You wake up in the morning and stand.
>Stretch and then look out the window.
>The town is very empty.
Huh... Must be a holiday or something.
>You walk to the bathroom to do your morning routine.
>There's a knock on the door when you get downstairs.
Just on time as always.
>You open the door and Fluttershy zips in and shuts it.
>She's panting.
>"I...flew here as fast...as I...could."
What's wrong?
>"Anon, some crazy THING happened at the town square earlier!"
What? What happened?
>"There was this white flash in the sky and then all the mares..."
All the mares what?
>"THEY TRIED TO RAPE ME!"
>Holy shit.
What?
>"It's like they're in heat but times ten!"
Why aren't you affected?
>"I...I don't know."
>There's a purple flash behind you.
>You turn and see a sweating Twilight with a worried Spike on her back.
>"Have you seen what's going on out there?!"
>Spike sniffles.
>Twilight holds him with magic and nuzzles his cheek.
>"Shhh...it's okay."
Wait a second...where are the stallions?
>"They all fled town as soon as they found out."
Okay. I think I know what's going on here.
>Flutters tilts her head in confusion, "What?"
The flash or whatever happened, only affected mares who aren't virgins.
>Twilight huffs, "Well fuck you too Anon."
>"W-well that's because I was saving myself for you..."
>You ignore what Fluttershy said and turn to Twilight.
So then...what do we do?
>"We need to get to Canterlot. I'm sure Princess Celestia will know what to do."
Hopefully. Okay let's roll out!
>You open your door and poke your head out.
Cost is clear. Come on.
>You head a little ways down the pathway with Spike riding on Twilight and Fluttershy riding your ass.
>Literally your ass, she's trying to push her snout as far as she can between your ass cheeks.
>You swat her off you like a mosquito.
>Run up to an alleyway close to the town square.
>That's when the nasty smell of sex is jammed into your nose.
>You look around the corner and so does Twilight and Spike.
>There are ponies masturbating with their hooves or having sex with each other everywhere.
Disgusting...
>"What's your plan on getting past those guys?"
>You put your hand to your chin and think deeply.
Live bait.
>"Good idea."
>You shoot her a look.
>"Hey!"
Come on Twilight! You and Spike have to create a diversion!
>"Whaddya want me to do, dress in drag and do the hula?!"
>...
>Twilight is out there behind them standing on the stage in the town square.
>She has Spike laying on a plate presenting his body.
>The lights kick on and music plays.
>Twilight shouts, "LUAU!"
>All of the sexing ponies stop and look at them.
>"If you're hungry for a hot and juicy piece of meat!"
>They lick their lips and turn towards her.
>"Suck my dragon Spike here cause he is a treat!"
>You and Fluttershy start sneaking behind them.
>"Come on down and dine, on his tasty slime, all you have to do is get in line!"
>They approach.
>"Are ya achin?!"
>Spike joins in, "Yup yup yup."
>"For some spanking?"
>"Yup yup yup."
>"He's got a big dick."
>"Yup yup."
>"You can have a big dick too! OY!"
>They run away screaming as the crowd of horny ponies chases after them.
>You hide behind the building directly across from the alley you were before.
>Then there's the purple flash next to you and Twilight and Spike are there sweating.
>"Don't you ever make me do anything like that ever again."
>Fluttershy giggles and Twilight stares daggers at her so she stops smiling.
Okay let's keep moving!
>Walk from tree to tree making sure to stay out of sight.
>Suddenly the ground begins to rumble.
>You turn and see a massive crowd of horny ponies rushing at you.
>Spike is looking terrified, "What do we do?!"
Get back!
>They step back a few feet.
>Applejack, now leading the pack, runs up to you and stops.
>The rest of them stop too.
>She comes close slowly, "Ah like ya..."
>Somep0ny screams out from back there, "We like you!"
>"And Ah wantcha..."
>Same pony screams out again, "And we want you!"
>"Now we can do this the easy way, or the hard way. The choice is yours."
>Same fucking bitch calls out, "What you want?!"
>"What's it goin be?"
>You're paralyzed with fear.
>"Ah asked you a question Anon..."
>You barely manage to speak.
I... Don't...
>She circles around to your back.
>"Ah Ah AH excuse me, Ah didn't hear you Anon."
I... I don't wanna answer... I don't want this...
>"Sounds like to me you want it the hard way!"
>She wraps one of her super strong legs around your neck in her other hand holds a needle to your neck.
>The group she was leading is now coming closer.
>"Alright now he's mine! So BACK UP!"
>The words back up trigger a memory you had back at rape protection school.
>You spin with her on your back, bend your knees, and bump out your butt, sending her flying to the crowd of ponies.
YOU CAN'T HAVE MY BOOTY!
>They all fall over like pins at bowling as you and your group run the fuck away.
>You reach the train station and Fluttershy speaks.
>"Oh my... You were so assertive. Where did you learn that?"
In a class to protect myself from you.
>She blushes.
>"Oh you shouldn't have..."
>That wasn't-UGH.
"Dumb bitch..."
>"Oh, is me being your bitch your fetish? Because it's mine!"
>She grinds her cunt against your leg and you smack her in the ass to get her to stop.
>She looks up at you.
>"It is?!"
What?! No!
>"O-oh..."
Fucking Fluttershy... You never know when to say these things...
>Twilight's voice catches you off guard, "If you two lovebirds are done, you'd be happy to know the train is here."
>Shit when did that happen?
>You board the train and sit alone in the car.
This... Is crazy.
>The train starts.
>Twilight nods, "I agree."
>Fluttershy snuggles into your side, "At least you're okay Anon."
"Shut the fuck up Fluttershy."
>She whimpers and lays her head on your lap.
>Spike walks up to you and looks up at you with the slightest hint of curiosity in his eye, "Why are you so mean to Fluttershy?"
>You turn towards him.
Well I wouldn't be if she didn't constantly try to have her way with me. On a normal day that is.
>Twilight rolls her eyes to your comment and replies, "Why do you insist on making this stuff up Anon? This is no time for joking around!"
>You point to Fluttershy who is enticed with the smell of your crotch and is drooling on your lap.
>"Well that's because she loves you!"
She's drooling on my wiener because she loves me? Hey Spike do you love Twilight?
>"Like the best sister ever!"
Would you drool on her vagina?
>Spike gags at the thought of that.
>Twilight gives in to your mind powers, "Okay okay I guess that is a little weird."
>You snap your fingers and Fluttershy returns from her retarded state of mind.
>"Oh hi Anon! When did you get here?"
How are you that stupid that you forget I'm here?
>The train jerks to a stop and you headbutt her accidentally.
Shit... Sorry.
>You say while rubbing your head.
>"It's okay, I liked the warmness I felt from your body when it happened."
Wat.
>You look out the window and see that you aren't even near Canterlot
What is going on here?
>You open the train door and look out.
>The front of the train is on fire somehow.
Oh that's just fucking wonderful! Come on we need to walk!
>You grab Fluttershy and Twilight puts Spike on her back.
>Then you both haul ass far in front of the train, following the tracks.
>It explodes.
>You put Fluttershy down and she groans.
Can it Shy.
>"Hey what's that?"
>Spike points up the hill on the side of the tracks.
>Twilight puts a hoof to her chin and thinks for a moment, "That looks like the machine that the Flim Flam brothers rode in with..."
>You run over and look at it.
>It's got everything a car does.
Hey! I think I know how to drive this!
>Spike and Twilight sit in the two back seats and Fluttershy sits on the couch there with you up front.
>There's no windows, and it isn't exactly the warmest day out.
>Good fucking thing the keys are here.
>You rev it up and floor it.
>It goes a whopping 10 miles an hour.
Oh my FUCKING god can this day get ANY worse?!
>"Are horrible days your fetish?"
AAAHHHH!
>...
>It's been a few hours of driving and talking.
>Eventually it gets quiet because Spike wouldn't shut the fuck up and Twilight snapped at him.
>Makes sense but she didn't have to say that stuff about how he's never gonna get Rarity...
>Harsh bitch.
>Anyways, you're nearing Canterlot now, you can see it about a mile away.
>Spike groans, "Are we there yet?"
No.
>A few minutes pass.
>"Are we there yet now?"
>Twilight looks at him, "No Spike..."
>"How about now?"
>Fluttershy turns around glaring at him, "No!"
>It's even pissing Fluttershy off.
>You know you done fucked up if you pissed off the Element of Kindness.
>A few more minutes pass.
>"Are we-"
Shut up! Shut the fuck up! You're a cool bro but you're really fucking pissing me off! Don't talk again until we get there!
>Fluttershy looks back at Twilight with her mouth wide open.
>Spike has folded his arms and is looking away angrily.
>A few more minutes pass.
>Spike gets a devious smile.
>You hear a pop noise.
>Decide to ignore it.
>There it is again.
What was that?
>You turn and see Twilight looking out the window uninterested and Spike looking at you.
>He waves to you.
>You turn back around and continue driving.
>*Pop*
>This fucking kid...
>You look to Fluttershy.
>She's passed out curled up in the seat.
>She looks really cute and her leg twitches as she talks in her sleep.
>"Ooh... I love it when you hold me Anon~"
>Aww.
>She farts.
>Aaaaand cute moment ruined.
>You shake your head and pay attention to driving again.
>Then you feel the warmth but not the embrace of something on your neck.
>It gets warmer and warmer.
>*POP*
>You turn and see Spike looking at you with a huge grin on his face as he makes the pop sound.
Twilight. Can you steer for a second?
>"Mhm. Don't leave any bruises."
>Her purple glow wraps around the steering wheel and the pedal as she continues to watch out the window.
>You climb back over the seat and grab Spike.
>"Heh, what are you gonna do?"
What Twilight should do more often!
>You flip him over and start giving him beatings on his ass.
>He's almost in tears and Fluttershy wakes up.
>She turns back and watches as you punish Spike.
>She doesn't try to stop you but it looks like she isn't enjoying it.
>You're about to bring your hand down when he cries out.
>"Stop okay! I'll stop!"
Good.
>Nothing teaches kids like a good old fashion ass whipping.
>You get back into the drivers seat.
Thanks Twi.
>"Yeah yeah..."
>She leans her head against the side.
>You approach the Canterlot gates and there is a guard there.
>He screams out as you approach.
>"HALT! WHO GOES THERE?!"
Anonymous! I'm here to see Princess Celestia!
>He turns to the guard next to him and says some stuff.
>Then he looks back at you.
>"We can't let you do that!"
>They hold up their weapons to stop you.
>That's when you realize you have a problem.
>The brakes are broken.
Shit...
>Fluttershy notices this too.
>"Get out of the way!"
Yeah move! There are no breaks!
>One guard runs to the side.
>The other stands there and puts a hoof out towards you in terror.
>"NOOOO!"
>The vehicle is still about 10 feet away and slowly inching towards him.
>"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Get out of the way! Move!
>"AHHHH!"
>He stands there screaming at the top of his lungs as the snail next to you is speeding by.
>"TELL MY WIFE AND TOILET I LOVE THEM!"
>The vehicle slowly rides over him and slows to a stop on his crushed body.
Eww...
>You all get out and rush past the other guard who is kneeling by the obviously dead one's legs that are under the vehicle.
>Twilight yells at you as you run, "Anon! Why did you do that?!"
"We told him to move! He was a ruh tard!"
>Fluttershy looks at you in confusion while flying, "A what?"
>Spike scratches his head and looks at you, "Ruh tard?"
>Twilight chuckles, "You mean retard, you retard..."
Fuck you guys!
>You run into Celestia's throne room.
>She looks up.
>"Ah. My faithful student Twilight. What brings you h-"
>"You have to help P0nyville because some really weird thing happened that put all the mares in a stronger form of estrus except for the virgins and they're out there having sex and masturbating in public!"
Jeez Twilight...
>She's panting.
>Celestia's eyes widen.
>"Well...I think I know who is responsible for this..."
>She growls, "DISCORD!"
>His head appears smiling like the Cheshire cat floating next to her.
>"Sup?"
>"Do you think this is funny? Quit it!"
>He sighs.
>"Oh fine...I was only having a little joke Celly."
>He nudges her and she smacks his arm away.
>"Someone's pissy..."
>He snaps his fingers and a white flash around P0nyville happens again.
>"Good. Now apologize."
>He looks at her.
>"Are you serious?"
>She glares at him.
>"UGH! Stop treating me like I'm your fucking kid or something! I could pop your head like a balloon!"
>Her mane turns to magma and she stands up and stares him dead in the face.
>"Do it."
>Holy shit.
>Fluttershy attaches to your leg completely terrified.
>A bit of what you'd like to think is lemonade runs down your leg from her.
>God damn it.
>"Princess... You're scaring Fluttershy."
>Celestia looks over at her.
>Her teary teal eyes and shaking with fear body are just too hard to compete with.
>She relaxes and her mane goes back to normal
>"Wow... Haven't seen you do that in... About 1784 years."
>He turns to you four.
>"I'm sorry I've ruined this day for you. Want me to bring you back?"
>You all nod and he snaps his fingers.
>Now you all are back in front of your house.
>The sun is going down and the ponies are back to normal, walking back home either limping or smiling smugly.
>Twilight departs with Spike and leaves you with Fluttershy.
>"So Anon are slightly epic adventures that have way too many movie references and end abruptly by a god your fetish?"
I fucking hate you Fluttershy.