Title:           Horse The Horse Episode 2
Author:          Stegtorn
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/yGUqmYNf
First Edit:      Friday 4th of April 2014 06:54:25 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Friday 4th of April 2014 06:54:25 PM CDT

"You're telling me that /you're/ the one who made this?"
>Twilight Sparkle nods her head cheerfully.
"But how? Why? I mean, how did you even get my measurements?"
>"Rarity helped me sow it and I took your measurements just now, while you were asleep..."
"Oh well that answers all my questions."
>She lets out a sigh of relief.
"Except for the one about why."
>"That, I can't tell you, not yet."
"Why not?"
>"Because," she hops off the bed and twirls, "y-you m-must first...uh."
"Uh?"
>"T-take me on-," she gulps, blushing.
>TAKE ON ME, /take on me/.
>TAKE ME ON~
"On a?"
>"A DATE!" she shouts, bursting from her seat before curling back into an embarrassed ball.
"What? I hardly know you. And the only reason I saved you today was because I'm a nice guy. I think you owe me some answers."
>"B-but, we're suppose to go on a uh," she struts to the door, obviously trying to show off.
>What has gotten into her?
>Usually she's so nervous and not confident.
>Maybe books put her into some sort of subdued state?
>You wouldn't be surprised.
"Meh."
>Hopefully this works.
>"What do you mean 'meh'," she asks, looking from her rump to you.
>She looks a little nervous, her facade is breaking up, perfect.
"Meh."
>You try your best to subdue a smile.
>"B-but, how else will you find out why I want you to fight Sunset Shimmer?"
>You glance over at her, turning your head slowly for effect.
"Meh."
>She starts pacing around, looking sweaty.
>"W-we have to go on a date though."
"I don't think so. I don't have to fight Sunset either."
>She gasps, spinning around.
>Twilight jumps into your lap, burying her face into your...'horn'.
>"Please Anonymous, do it for me!"
"Hmm."
>Should you do it for her?
>She looks up hopefully, eyes twinkling.
"I'll think about it."
>"Ugh."
>You tell her it would be best if she left you to rest, and she does leave with little complaint, just some mumbling about horn sizes.
 
>You're left to your own devices, and that bottle of pills.
>Horn growth, huh?
>Well, one couldn't hurt right?
>Maybe you'll even grow a horn, magic might be pretty cool to have.
>You pop a pill, undress down to your under-roos...
>Uhm.
>You can't recall your underpants being a bright pink.
>Well, it's the only clothes you have now, you're just going to have to deal.
>Superb.
 
>Finally, a Friday!
>Today will be a good day, you think, rising out of bed.
>This time you aren't an idiot and remember to eat breakfast.
>Unfortunately you forgot your clothes when heading out the first time, and had to bolt back home to get into your suit.
>Sure gave that mare something to scream about.
>You're still shocked those horn enhancers worked!
>Shame you still don't have an actual magic horn.
>You get to school with no trouble, but you find some the moment you step into the courtyard.
>Ponies are gathered in their groups, chattering lolwy as they wait for the school's doors to open.
>You think you spot Twilight, buried in a book, near the entrance but you can't be sure.
>Well why not take a closer look?
>Oh you can't.
>Two runts block your path.
>They're saying something, but you're too focused on Twilight.
>"-Ya heard? No one messes with the great and powerful Trixie," the shorter of the two says.
"Meh."
>"BWAH?" they say in unison.
>They look to each other and then back at you.
>"No one simply brushes off the word of Trixie!"
"The word of who?"
>"HER NAME IS TRIXIE."
>They stand back to back, a flare of light coming from them.
>"We must defend her honor, Snips," the lanky one says."
>"Right behind you, Snails," his tubby companion replies.
"What are you two planning?" you question, taking a step back.
>"We're none other than Snips," there is a pause as Snips stands on two legs and rubs a hoof down his tummy.
>"And Snails~" Snails does the same thing, his mane flowing in the wind.
>"AND WE WILL CRUSH ANY WHO DON'T BOW TO TRIXIE," they say in unison, eyes flaring with rage.
>As quick as possible you throw off your suit coat, toss off your tie and unbutton your shirt.
"Are we going to fight?"
>They chuckle like two cartoon villains.
>"No, we are going to stomp you."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6sGg0at4mI4
[Theme of Snips & Snails]
 
"Meh."
>You adopt your fighting stance, dancing between two feet, fists raised and body turned at an angle.
>Snips charges at you first, chub wiggling as he runs and pounces.
>You send out a punch to meet his smug face halfway.
>AH!
>Quickly you withdrawal your hand and stumble back, finger pulsing with pain.
>A bit of blood trickles down your index.
"Did you just stab me?"
>Snips produces a pair of scissors and cuts the air with them a few times.
>Now you've just got to wipe the smile off that guys face, with your fists!
>You hop toward him, just about to delivered a 5-finger sandwich to his stupid horse face.
>Without warning you're hit from the side with something wet and slimy that topples you to the ground.
>Ow,
>W-what?
>What hit you?
>Snips was right there and Snails was right behind him.
>The two cackle.
>An upset little snail crawls away from you in the grass.
>Twilight Sparkle comes up, joining in the ragged circle that's begun forming.
>"Work up a sweat, Anon!" she says to you from across the way.
"What?" you ask, springing to your feet and swinging your fist at Snails.
>"Get sweaty~"
>Instead of soft pony jaw you hit something soft and wet.
>A octopus slides off Snails giggling face, the intent from your fist still on its back.
"I thought your gimmick was suppose to be snails?"
>"My 'gimmick' is slimy things!" he shouts, tossing another octopus.
>You bat it away, but before you can throw a punch Snips is at your side, snipping away.
>Dodging, you give him a quick jab that makes him back off.
>You can't keep this up.
>That last attack was all luck; you can hardly get a hit in with both of them keeping you cornered and dodging.
>"YOU'RE OUT MATCHED!" they shout in unison, flexing their muscles.
 
>You huff and puff, why is it so hot?
>Look up at the mellow sun, you figure it's just a hot day.
>Sweat trickles down your back and touches your boxers.
>Whoa, that feels weird.
>Tight all of a sudd- OW.
"My naturally enhanced horn!" you yelp, grasping for your crotch.
>Feels like your underwear is getting sucked into you.
>Your button-up shirt slides to the floor as you're forcibly contorted.
>Snips and Snails and everyone else look on in shock as your clothes wrap and twist around you.
>There is hardly anything you can do as your suit is turned into nothing more put a pair of boxers and suspenders.
"W-what the hell?"
>You can see Twilight smiling like a goof in the back.
>Looking down, you see only bright pink boxers and suspenders.
>"DELICIOUS!" some overly saccharine voice calls.
"W-what was that?"
>Your opponents look at you with a confused face.
>"Down here buddy," the voice says.
>Once again you turn your gaze to your under garments.
"Uh. Hello?" you say to your dick, face getting red as you realize what you're doing.
>"T-that's so lewd," you hear some one in the crowd whisper.
>"Hi, I'm Pinkie!"
"God, what? Like, the one from Sugar Cube Corner?"
>"No silly, just a reflection of her," your boxers giggle.
>YOUR BOXERS ARE GIGGLING.
>It tickles in all the wron- RIGHT places.
"I have no idea what the hell is going on."
>"Neither do we, are you gonna fight or what?" Snips asks, Snail's gaze trickling down to your package.
>"I'm gonna help you defeat these two hooligans."
"Hooligans?" you ask, skeptically.
>Your boxers just said hooligans.
 
>"Anonymous, I'll give you the extra speed and mobility you need to evade both of these chuckle...huh, what's the word?"
"Chucklefucks?"
>"Yes! Now go beat up these chucklefucks."
"O-okay."
>"What did he say about my mother?" Snails asks, eyes still on your underpants.
>You leap over to him, feeling some strange power coming from your loin-area.
>Whoa.
>With one fluid motion you tug on his horn with one hand, forcing him down, and with the other you give him a brain jarring uppercut.
>"Violence! More violence!" Pinkie-Pants squeals as you nimbly avoid Snip's attacks.
>It's so much easier than it was before, this is taking no effort.
>You jump up, Bruce Lee'ing the shit out of his face with your foot.
>"Behind you!"
>Spinning around you accidentally deck the downed Snails with a reaction punch.
"Whoa."
>"You're welcome!" Pinkie-Pants squeals.
>Seems you've defeated them both.
>You feel so invigorated!
>YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!
>All around you stallions and mares are bickering, some collecting money, some giving it up.
>Looks like there was only one guy who bet you.
>"Oh, he's one of those stallions," one mare says while looking at you.
>"One of them exhibitionists?"
>"Yeah that kind."
>You turn away, blushing a bit, to spot Twilight walking off to the school doors, which just opened.
 
>You don't catch up to Twilight, and you don't get to talk to her in class, but you do get a chance at lunch.
>Thankfully your suit has gone back to normal, but you still get stares and giggles as you pass by.
>Twilight is munching on a daisy sandwich or something similar when you get to her.
>She's sitting outside in the shade of a tree, while other students chat or magic-toss a hacky-sack around.
"I don't even know where to begin, but I need some answers or something Twilight. I mean, I got stripped to my underwear by your 'suit'. And it talks ya know, my pants talk."
>She says nothing, finishing up her lunch.
>With a giddy but nervous smile she looks up at you.
>"Don't worry Anonymous, all clothes do that."
"W-what?"
>She leans in a bit closer.
>"We'll talk later, the school isn't safe," she looks up at the building itself.
>Following her gaze you spot a open window, and someone leaving that window.
>She brushes some crumbs off her and saunters off.
 
 
>You spent all day grinding your teeth together, the first time in weeks that's happened.
>For quite sometime you were relaxed, everything was nice and cool, everything was meh.
>Just as you liked it!
>But now all this craziness has stirred up and no one wants to tell you anything.
>You meet Twilight just outside the school.
"So, can you tell me things now?"
>"No, follow me."
"Ugh."
>She smirks and starts walking away.
>You trudge behind her for FIVE whole minutes until she stops in front of a little restaurant.
>"This place is...uh, safe," she mumbles.
>She looks up at you.
>"C-can you treat me to dinner?"
>You gaze at your watch.
"It's 4 o'clock, who eats dinner at 4?"
>She sniffles a little bit, eyes watery.
>"P-please."
>Aw how can you say 'meh' to that face?
"Fine."
>She squeals like a happy pony and bounds inside.
>By the time you catch up to here she's already at a booth, stuffing herself with a hay sandwich.
>You grudgingly sit across from her.
>At least she got a booth.
>"You want one?" she asks, bits of hay sticking out of her teeth, crazed expression on her face.
"Uh, no."
>Various munching noises come from your dinner partner.
"Perhaps now you can tell me why this suit," you grab onto your lapels, "turns into underwear when I get sweaty?"
>"I-it's my fe-fet-" she mumbles.
"YOUR WHAT? SPEAK UP," you slam a fork into the table.
>The restaurant falls dead silent, dozens of pony eyes locked onto you in shock.
>Somehow you're half way across the table, your knife pointing at Twilight.
>You slither back to your seat.
 
>Hmm, this suit is rousing your angry side.
>OR MAYBE IT'S JUST TWILIGHT BEING A BIG MORON?
>"Oh right. The suit is just regular horse fabric."
>The FUCK is horse fabric?
>"But I imbued it with a special magic! When your fluids come into contact with it, it will transform into something more fitting for the task at hand. To help you fight each transformation comes with a reflection of one of my best friends!"
"Fluids? Magic? Transformations?"
>She puts down her sandwich.
>"Yes, sweat, blood, tears and..." she disappears.
>You flick your head around.
"Whoa!"
>She's right next to you, fuzzy pony cheek rubbing against yours.
>"...Other juices~"
>You shy away from her and she's magically back in her own seat.
"So, /why/ did you make this suit for me?"
>"I think it makes you look n-nice."
>Before you can tell Twilight how much she is a mumbling, bumbling, fumbling pony you're interrupted by a vinyl hitting your face.
"M-meh," you mewl, laying on your back in the booth, vinyl imprint on your face.
>Sitting up you spot a white mare, a unicorn to be exact, standing on the table nearest you.
>She's got red goggles on, rapidly spinning vinyls at her sides.
"What the hell was that for?"
>"For being a big meanie and beating up those poor kids today."
>"Uh-oh, watch out Anon, this is one of Sunset Shimmer's closer friends."
"She can't be any tougher than Colgate, can she?"
>The mare laughs, "Colgate wasn't exerting her full power."
"Meh."
>On the outside you're calm as a cucumber being pickled.
>But on the inside you're a nervous wreck.
>Colgate wasn't using her full power?
>Could that whole thing have been set up?
>Set up for what?
>Maybe to get your confidence up?
>"So, let the battle commence," she says, voice ringing through the restaurant.
>Patrons and employees alike either scurry out or hide behind tables, watching in relative safety.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNKu3-FdZdA
[Theme of Vinyl Scratch]
 
>You 'accidentally' throw your suit jacket over Twilight's face while assuming your stance.
>If you can get sweaty this fight will another piece of cake, you think.
>Before you can taunt, or converse with your enemy for 13 episodes and then transform, you're hit in the gut with a walkman.
>"Radical!" she says, giving herself a pat on the back.
>You look straight into her loathsome goggles, clutching your side.
>Urge to kill, rising.
>You dive to the side, taking cover by a table as vinyls dig into the wood right near your head.
>"Hiding? You wimp! Come out and face me like a mare."
"But I'm a man," you reply, sneaking behind her while she tosses a laser disc at your previous spot.
>Smiling to yourself you pounce from your position behind her, ready with a punch.
>"PSYCH!"
>You're smacked in the face with a VCR player, the plug whipping you as you fall to the carpet.
>It hurts pretty bad, but the carpet is kinda soft.
>"What's the damage, you square?"
"I've got like 70% healt- uh did you did you just call me a square?"
>You rise to your feat, eyes locked with her goggles.
"It's hip to be square."
>You dexterously duck under her flurry of discs and cassettes, only to have your uppercut blocked by another vinyl.
>Once again you disengage.
>How can you get close if she can detect you from behind!?
>And why the hell aren't you sweating?
>You look around; damn...
>Air conditioning!
>No way you can get sweaty with the cool comfort of an A/C keeping your body chilled.
>You're boned.
 
>More vinyls come spinning your way, Scratch smiling smugly.
>You dodge two but are too slow to evade the third.
>Time to pull some tough guy shit.
>You catch the third in your hand.
>The disc cuts into your flesh, digging into your palm.
>You stumble back into another table, grunting as the corner pokes your butt.
>"Anon! Wipe the blood off on your pants," Twilight calls.
"But what if it stains?" you question, looking over at her, your suit jacket wrapped around her head like a turban.
>"But you'll transform!"
>OH RIGHT.
>Vinyl's eyes go wide and she jumps up to stop you, but before she can even get close your already wiping blood all over your shirt and pants.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYDdEYI8y1w
[Theme of Anonymous' Blood Suit]
>There is a ringing in your ears as your clothes tighten up again.
>The shirt and pants don't disappear this time, but they do change.
>Your once relatively clean slacks are transformed into black, ripped up jeans.
>Ow.
>GOD OW WHAT THE HELL.
>You open up your jeans and look down.
>By god it's like a rose bush down there.
>Thorns, flowers!
>It's both painful and sensual.
>The button up shirt suffers a far worse fate.
>Black shoulder pads sprout long, thin spikes.
>The buttons meld together to form a regular t-shirt.
>Seems to be for some sort of grunge band.
>You look down at your new garb, seeing a skeleton pony dripping blood, the words "Pain is forever" under it.
>In the corner you spot a rather unfitting little cloud and rainbow lightening bolt.
>Rainbow Dash's cutie mark!
>Oh god.
>"FEED ME MORE BLOOD, MORTAL," your clothes yell in its female, and hoarse, horse voice.
>"W-what happened to your face?" Vinyl asks in fear, taking a few steps back.
>You frantically look around, looking for a toaster or something.
>The window reflects some strange creature back at you.
>Gasping in shock you get closer to confirm it's really you.
>Jet black spiky hair, black eyeliner and lipstick.
>God, you look like you should be in a band called Green Day or Licking Park Benches.
>But, you feel like you're burning up with angst and power.
"YOU INSOLENT FOOL, THIS IS MY FACE NOW. EMBRACE THE DARK."
>"You catch on quick," Blackbow Dash comments.
>You march up to your enemy.
>She's just shivering in fear of your shadow.
"MUWAHAHAHA."
 
IN THE NEXT EPISODE:
Will Anonymous or Vinyl achieve victory?
Will Anonymous stop crawling in his skin?
Will Twilight Sparkle ever get in Anonymous' pants?
FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON HORSE THE HORSE!