Title:           anon adventure guy
Author:          Spoo_Keys
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/tFNRvk2S
First Edit:      Tuesday 22nd of July 2014 04:13:52 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Tuesday 22nd of July 2014 04:13:52 PM CDT

>be adventurous anon
>be in equestria
>you heard about a baby dragon that was abandoned by it's mother
>apparently he is regular people here
>regular pony you guess.
>you always wanted to know what the life of a dragon is like
>you put on your shield that protects you from dragon fire just to be safe.
>you put on your best Armour and walk out the door
>you look swaggy as hell
>you pass by a group of mares
"Buying gf 4 mil"
>they pass out on sight
>you arrive at twilight's tree/library/home
>you knock on the door
>A small dragon opens the door
>you throw the shield up in front of you
>"ARE YOU FRIENDLY?"
>what are you doing?
>dragons can't talk
"Do i have a reason not to be?"
>oh wow
>You don't take down your shield
>"I am anon! An adventurer of sorts. I AM FRIENDLY!"
>He puts out his hand as to give you a handshake
>you do the polite thing and take the arm your shield isn't on and shake his hand
"Can i come in?"
>"I don't see why not."
>keeping your shield faced towards him you make your way in
>you take a seat
>twilight walks in
>"Hey what's up anon."
"I heard you treat a dragon like a pony here"
>"Yeah, spike is my assistant."
>this makes you curious
"How long has it been since your mother abandoned you?"
>"I was just an egg, I don't know."
"what are your thoughts on your mother?"
>"I never met her."
>this was all you needed to hear
"Thank you for the info
>you get up from the place you were sitting
"I want to have a 'talk' with you mother. where does she reside?"
>"no clue."
>twilight leans towards your ear
>"she lives in a cave on a mountain to the north."
>you take out your map
>she points to a mountain on the map
>you put your map away
>you put on your climbing boots and start for the door
>spike runs for you
>"can I go? I never got a chance t figure out why she left me here"
>twilight nods
>you put spike on your right shoulder and leave
>you start the journey
>This would take at least a day if you walked
>you shove a energy potion in your face and start running
>you run until the sun is almost set
>you put spike down and setup camp
>you take your hatchet out of your tool belt and start collecting wood for a fire
>you start a fire with a tinderbox
"So, how excited are you to see your mother."
>"I'm not sure how i feel about it. one side of me is happy, but the other is angry at her."
"Look kid. If she does anything to harm you i will protect you."
>this makes him a little happier
>he falls asleep in a few minutes afterwards
>you couldn't sleep
>you could swear something was watching you
>you take a stick to the fire and make a torch
>you see at least 5 wolf like animals staring at you
>the fire makes them jump back
>you have already found the weakness of the wolves
>they are made of wood
>they come closer
>you light one of fire and it flails around
>it's looking for a way to put out the fire
"TASTE VENGEANCE! "
>they all retreat
>you lay down and start to doze off
>you fall into a dreamless sleep
>you awake to something licking on your face
"yeah, I'm awake stop."
>you wipe off your face and open your eyes
>the sun hasn't even fully risen yet
>you look over to whatever was licking you
>it was one of the wolves from last night
>you jerk back
>it tilts it's head a bit
>it's not aggressive
"uhh. hello."
>it pounces on you and starts licking you again
"Okay, OKAY! that's enough!"
>it gets off of you
>you chuckle a bit
>but why is it here?
>you killed one of it's kin
>it's in plain sight
>unless they sent a female to make you not fuck with them
>you pick up a twig and throw it
>just as you suspected
>it's one of the ones with the vaginas
>but why should you care
>you don't fuck dogs
"hey spike!
>he yawns
>"what?"
"I made a new friend!"
>he stands up and opens his eyes
>the sight of the wolf startles him
>You have a giggle
>"Do you know what that is anon?"
"I know 'it's' not killing me"
>"That's a timber wolf"
"Ponies are the best at naming shit"
>you get up and put your shield on your back
"Time to hit the road. Won't be long now."
>you start trekking again
>the wolf follows close by your side
>the path up to the cave is scorched
>looks like a big battle went on here
>it reminds you of another battle zone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KWMTNxtoSk [Embed]
>except not as bad
>you start making your way up
>spike starts to fall behind
"what's wrong bud?"
>"I-I'm not sure I want to see her.'
"Spike. like I said before, if anything happens I'll get you out of there fine."
>you pick him up and put him on your shoulders again
"ready?"
>"I think so."
>you arrive at the entrance of the cave
>you advise the timber wolf to sit
Spike get's off your shoulders
"Spike stay behind me."
>you take your shield off your back and put it directly in front of you
>you step inside of the cave
>before you can do anything else you hear a weeping sound
>you hear a faint voice
>"t-t-they took it."
>it sounds closer than you expected
>you start creeping to the cave
>before long you can see the dragon
>she's the same colors as spike and also has no wings
>also no loot pile
>something is wrong here
"Hello dragon."
>she turns her head to look at you and turns back away
>"I guess you are here to slay me? might as well."
"No, why would you suspect that?"
>"I am a dragon."
>she got you there
"But why would you talk like that?"
>"because I have nothing to live for anyway."
>you put your shield back onto your back
"Why do you have nothing to live for?"
>"because they took it."
"who took what?"
>"those teenagers took my egg, and destroyed it because I'm 'defective and shouldn't have kids'
"I highly doubt they did that"
>"why would you have any idea about it?"
>spike steps out from behind you
>"H-Hello mom."
>the dragon swings her head directly towards the two of you.
>you can see the tears welling up in her eyes
"go along now spike. she's waiting."
>spike runs up to his mom and gives her a hug
>"after all this time, I know you are alive!"
>"adventurer, what is your name?"
"I'm anon. Who might you be?"
>"I was never called by a name. I was exiled as soon as i hatched."
"can I call you Amethyst?
>"What importance does it have?"
"it's my favorite gemstone."
>spike releases the hug
>"What are we going to do now?"
"Well she can't stay in an empty cave for the rest of her life"
>that's when you get a perfect idea
>Those ponies are gonna shit themselves
>it will be hilarious
"How would you like to live with us in Ponyville?"
>spike stares at you like you're crazy
"I'm sure they will accept her. She is your mother after all."
>"I guess it's worth trying."
>this is perfect
>twilight's is going have a fit
>you not only have 1 creature with you
>now you have 2
>today is gonna be great
>fireworks are going off in your head
>you notice you are enjoying this too much
>you are dancing around and clapping like a retard
>you straighten yourself out
"We might as well head off then."
>you leave the cave
>your wolf friend tags along
>Amethyst has spike in her arms
>this is a load off of you
>he weighs a lot for a small dragon
>after a while of walking you need a break
>you start to slow down a bit to regain some energy
>you fall behind Amethyst
>you catch a glance of that dragon booty
>that's a big booty
>if you fucked dragons you would have a boner right now
>you look down
>your crotch rocket was bulging in your pants
>that's a bad boner
>down boy down
>your brain is saying no but your penis is saying yes
>boner be rational. kids are around
>all the sudden she turns around
>"alright back there?"
>you try to hide your boner
"yeah I'm fine. just need a break that's all."
>she stares at you oddly and turns back around
>situation avoided
>no thanks to you boner
>stop being attracted to dragon ass
>you stay behind in till your bone goes down
>you avoid the alluring sight of dragon booty
>you move forward to avoid that happening again
>it's about sundown
>"Should we set up camp for the night?"
>you decide going into ponyville with a dragon in midday is a bad option
"no, that will bring more problems then anything"
>and so you move on
>you can start to see ponyville in the distance
>you can't wait to break it to twilight
>she'll most likely tell you to read a book or some shit
>she's like that
>she loosened up when she got those wings, but she is a book worm at heart
>bless her boring soul
>the sun was on the horizon
>only a few ponies where out at this time of day
>you pass by a small unicorn with an ice cream cone
>when she sees amethyst and the timber wolf she drops the cone in shock
>you snicker a bit
>silly ass ponies and their magic
>almost as unreliable as a broken sword
>you have seen it do some neat things
>teleportation is one of the biggest ones
>you are somewhat skilled in the art of magic
>you can't do shit without magical runes though
>before you can think any further you hit a wall
>who put this here?
>hope they got fired
>you walk back a bit
>you notice it's twilight's house/tree/library
>she really needs a name for that
>you walk over to the door and knock on it
>you motion to amethyst to move so she wouldn't be in twilight's view
>she nods and moves
>you knock on the door
>twilight comes to the door
>she looks drowsy
>this boring pony has a weird sleep pattern
"Twilight I made new friends!"
>you point down at your wolf friend
>"anon, have you ever even read a book about timber wolves?"
>you knew she would talk about books
>what a nerd
>"Where is spike by the way?"
"Well I did say friend's'."
>Amethyst walks into twilight view holding spike
>twilight gets the biggest grin on her face
>she looks like she is going to have a bookgasm
>"Are you the one who has been raising my child?"
>Twilight nods
>she puts down spike and picks up twilight in a big hug
>"Y-Yeah, you're welcome. He's a really good kid."
>she puts twilight back down
>"So,uh... where is she going to stay?"
>shit
>you didn't think of that
>your house would be a tight fit for her
>curse whoever made dragons big
>they are a real cunt
"she can stay at my house in till i find a place for her"
>you wouldn't mind seeing that booty everyday
>god fucking damnit penis, get out of my brain
>you're not my real father
>you're right, we are the same fucking person
>now get the fuck out of here
>you realise you have been staring at a fully erect bone the entire time
>everyone is staring at you
>your face turns red under your helmet
"excuse me for a minute please."
>you go outside
>you look what you have gotten yourself into
>dragons are certainly not your fetish
>but it seems a bit more than the booty is attracting you to her
>you weren't exactly a lover back home
>you just helped people
>you have "like" liked people before
>but not in this way
>maybe this isn't just your fault penis
>yeah, you can stop being a cunt now
>fuck off
>spike comes out
>he's got a smug grin on his face
>"something wrong anon?"
"you know, having an enter monologue with my penis. regular people stuff."
>he raises a brow at this
"You mean you never do it?"
>"No anon. that just sounds strange."
"It really make me and my penis...uh, closer."
>"what?"
>he's not falling for it
"you should try it some time."
>"Will do."
>with this he walks back into the tree/castle
>crisis averted
>you let the obvious bulge in your crotch region go down
>you walk back in
>twilight and amethyst are making small talk
>twilight looks at you and then Amethyst
>"So, would you like to stay with anon?"
>"I think that will be fine."
>she winks at you
>of fuck
>she knows you have the hots for her
>here comes Sgt. Johnson again
>waiting at the zipper to go to war
>and he already has a lock on his target
>Amethyst giggles
>you turn around and make a dash out the door
>Sgt. Johnson was not going to make his assault today
>The general was not going to allow that
>Amethyst starts to follow you to your house
>in that moment of panic you forgot she didn't know where you lived
>why must the gods torment you so
>you slow down and allow her to catch up
>your bone had gone down because of the running
>you try to avoid eye contact with her
>you lead her to your abode
>that's when you realize she won't fit through the door
>an idea pops into your head
>everyone knows not to steal from you anyways
>last time somebody tried they almost lost their head
"I knew i would get to use that maul one day. wait here!"
>and with that you sprinted to your weapon room
>you got your maul and made your way out
>you swing it at your door
>it breaks off the hinges and gets flung out of the way
>"surely you can find a better way"
"sure, but that wouldn't be as fun."
>you crush the walls to the right and left
>when the dust has settled you look at your handy work
>damn anon
>you cool guy
>you smashed that wall so good
>she can fit right in now
"The living room seems like the only place big enough for you to stay."
>are you saying I'm fat"
"no, you're small for a dragon. It's the fact that you're a dragon."
>she nods in defeat
>you move your couch out of the way to make space
"So, what do dragons eat?"
>"Gemstones mostly."
>do you even know how convenient this is?
>you're an adventurer man
>you have hoards of loot
>and your vault could fit multiple dragons in it
>not that you plan on having other dragons there....
"come with me."
>you lead her to the vault
>you had this built in to keep shit in and people out
>little do you know people don't steal here
>the vault opens with a few simple turns of a combination lock
>you turn to face your dragon guest
>she is entranced by all the loot
"I know, I'm a badass"