Title: Rick and Morty in Equestria 2 Author: SitOnBooks Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/etWvTLJ6 First Edit: Sunday 11th of January 2015 05:04:24 PM CDT Last Edit: Last edit on: Sunday 11th of January 2015 06:12:56 PM CDT Morty! Morty come look. Look. It's that show Morty. You know the one. >Aw man Rick please, not again... It's the pony show Morty! Man, remember when we went to that universe where it was reeeaal? >It was last friday, Rick. W-Why are you still going on about it huh? Relax your sphincter, Morty. I was just channel-flipping and found out they're doing a rerun of every episode. Back to back, season to season, hopelessly optimistic moral story to y-y-you get the idea. >Wow, that's...that's cool, I-I guess- It's bigger than cool Morty. It's given me the greatest idea. Let's go back to Ponyshowland! >Iuuhidon'tknow Rick, you know, I-I-I've kinda got school stuff and- Forget your school stuff Morty. Th-There's no room on this adventure for real life, okay? W-We're entering a realm of horses and rainbows now. R-R-Rainbows ain't got time for your school crap Morty. >Rick, come on, this isn't funny. Y-You don't even like ponies. That's why we're gonna go Morty. Find out how they're brainwashing my brain to like them. The-They've gotta be sending out some real deep gamma waves to mess with my pleasure center. Y-You know what it's like with someone touching your brain's plEEEEAAuusure center without consent Morty? >Look, I'm just gonna pass, ok? I-I-I said I have school- Oh no Buster McBustybutts, I-I'm not even neaaarly drunk enough to do this on my own. >Ohhh...   I just don't get it Morty. If the purple one is supposed to be the genius, th-then why doesn't she just, I don't know, teleport the elements away or something? >Y-Y-You know it's just a children's show, right Rick? >Oh well ExcuuUUUUse me Roger EEEEEEEbert. You know Morty, it being a kids show doesn't exclude it from basic logic right? I-If parents have to put up with this sh*t then it should at least make sense. S'all I'm saying. >Aw come on Rick, it's not that bad- Are you serious? L-L-Look Morty. If you could bend space and time like that horse, y-you'd be able to do more than just, life some books, and, be a complete neeeerd, alright? >Well, uh, maybe. An-And that's with your limited imagination Morty. S'all I'm saying. >C-Can we just go already? Alright alright, JeeUUEEz louise on a fricking trapeze. We're here. Ponyland. Huzzah. >W-Wooow... Alrightalright quit your gawping. L-Let's just mill around for a bit so I can pick up some readings, and then we'll be GOOOlden. >Uh, R-Rick? Morty? >T-That's the village. Y-you know, Ponyville, from the show? Uh huh. >W-We're heading straight for it Rick. Yes Morty. >D-D'you really think that's such a good idea? I-I mean, we did make a mess- S-Spare me your feeble worries MmmmOOOOrty. I'm sure plenty of time has passed since our last visit and every little cute pony is just waiting to suck on my junk. >Eurgh, Rick... It's the standard plot of these meta-dimensions Morty. Y-You know I can barely remember what I boned or blew up in the Battlestar Galactica dimension. And even that was better than the show.     I'm just saaayin Morty. Saving royalty on your first day in a new village? I don't buy it. T-This Celestia chick must have been pulling the strings the whole time. >I-I don't know. Well that's fine, because the stupidity of this universe is one thing that I know I don't know. >Th-that's pretty rude, Rick. No, it's accurate observation Morty. None of this makes sense. L-Look right here. Orange texan pony has a job to do, but rather than OOUUUffload it onto some other idiot she wants to do it all herself. N-Nobody does that in real life Morty, get used to it. >S-She's meant to be stubborn, Rick. Yeah, well, she didn't seem so stubborn when she was kicking your teeth out. >Aw man, Rick, d-don't bring that up! Hey, y-you're the one with amateur pickup lines Morty. Th-The least you could've done for grandpa Rick was get a good look at her- >Rick!! Whoa, easy there Morts. >J-Just shut up ok?! I-I've had it up to here about that! D-Do you know how traumatising it is to lose six teeth all at once?! Um, Morty? >Y-You don't care because it's all just one big joke to you! Morty, I think now is not the time for this. >What? Because Orange is coming right this way. >Ohh... Run Morty!     >Y-Y-You know Rick, I-I'm not liking how, we always seem to get chased... Suck it up Morty. You've only got a couple more years of spritely youth before haemarroids and STDS. They r-really pull a number on your stamina. >W-W-What do we do now? Well considering I'm fed up of getting chased around every time we come to this stupid dimension, I have an idea. I'm gonna march right up to that fancy pony god and find out what's r-reaaallly going on. >Y-You're serious? Super serious Morty. L-Look, I'm rationing. *swig* Uuuhhh yeah. >Y-You can't just walk up to the princess! You'll get caught or something! Wh-Y-Just r-relax Morty. If my blurry recollection of the show is even...VAAAAEuely accurate, it's that the princess isn't a gigantic d-bag, and I can pretty much get us free passes to their harem or something. >H-Harem? They're pretending to be gods in mortal form Morty. Of course there's going to be a harem! D-Do you even watch horses on the nature channel? Every stallion gets his own harem. >B-B-But they're mares, Rick. So, um.... Don't say any more Morty. I'm already there, and I'm noooooping back out. If I wanted to see that much horse meat I'd visit England. Forget the harem idea, let's just go and talk to this princess. Then we can stop getting chased and thrown into horse prison. >Aw man, not that again- It's a real place Morty! You just can't handle the truth! I know your simple mind can't handle the idea of male on male action yet, but I assure you it's a real thing and prison is its temple.     >Wow...i-i-it never looked so high up in the show Pop your tonsils back in Morty, we're not here to sightsee. >B-But Rick...It's so- Zip-zip-zip it, we have a job to do. Look, there's the main castle thing, let's go in. >Uh Rick? Wh-What about the guards? Don't worry about them Morty, I have a plan. We'll just use my portal gun to get into the palace. >You mean we could've used the portal gun to get in there in the first place? Well duh. But you have to admit, this way is much more adventurous right? *swig* >I-I thought you were rationing that! All part of the adventure Morty. Go step in and tell me what you see. >... Well Morty? >Um, th-the princess is there... Baller. >...and she saw me. What the flipout Morty!? >I-I didn't have a choice! The portal was right in front of her throne! Okay okay, l-let me just think. We lost the element of surprise, we're outnumbered, and she's a "god". >W-What do we do Rick? We do was men must do, Morty. We march right in there, and we tell her to suck my balls. >Y-Your balls? I think between the two of us, I'm the one who's going to get the most pleasure out of this, Morty.     Well that was anticlimactic, huh Morty? >Yeah, you were right. The Princess was really nice. Nice? Morty, she gave us citizenship and full pardons for the destruction we caused last time. Y-You know you have a real bro leader when she's willing to lay down on the wire for you. >Uh huh. And her sister was nice too. Yeah I guess. She didn't like my balls comment though, so, whatever. Hey, lets go back to Ponyburg and set you up with Orange. >Um, I-I dunno Rick. C'mon Morty, y-you can't let one kick in the face get in the way of your feelings. I mean, your dad went through the exact same thing. >R-Really? Sure, I kept kicking him but he kept coming back. >O-Oh... Think about it, you can hang with Orange, and I can go ask Purple why she didn't teleport the EWEEEEElements out the castle. >Rick- It still doesn't make sense Morty! Even a back-ass magical place such as this should at least try and get close to logic. M'not saying, like, get right behind it and start fondling, just, you know, be in r-roughly the same area. >*sigh* Whatever Rick.   Well Morty? >W-Well what Rick? How was your little r-randyvousse with Orange? >Y-You know, it was fine. She was...nice. That bad huh? Well don't worry, I'm bored of this dimension now so let's get you back home. >Oh. D-Did you get your readings? Oh I got my readings Morty. And my bullsh*t detector was spinning so hard it took flight and went to Jupiter. >N-No idea why you like it here then, huh? Nope. Completely STTUUUMped. Past caring. Come on, let's go home so I can remind Jerry what my shoe size is. >Um, y-you know, if we uh... *sigh* yes, you can come back anytime. >Really? Really. But the moment you say 'hey uncle rick, hows about you make me a DNA recombinator and turn me into a pony', I'm going to neuter you myself. >Ohhhh.