Title:           Inheriting shit.
Author:          Saint_Dane
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/LGEtReY2
First Edit:      Monday 10th of February 2014 10:33:54 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Monday 10th of February 2014 10:33:54 PM CDT

>Day chocolate milk in Equestria.
>Wake up.
>Usual routine.
>Eat breakfast.
>Get mail.
>Going back through your front door, you look at the top envelope.
>Important.
>You open it.
>"Dear Anon," it starts, "We know you are saddened by the passing of Vermilion Periwinkle,"
"Who the fuck is that?"
>"but while we were reading his will, your name came up as the new owner of his mansion in south Ponyville."
>There's a mansion in this town?
>"We are sorry for your loss in one of your friends."
>wut.
>YOU GET A FUCKING MANSION!?! FOR DOING SHIT!?! SWEET!
>Well, time to move into your new house.
>Walking for about five minutes, you see your new house.
>Holy nigger tits bat[spoiler]e[/spoiler]man, it's giant.
>If it was any bigger, it would be a castle.
>You'd probably name it Castle Mous if that was the case.
>But it isn't, it's just a fucking giant 5-story mansion.
>So you advance towards the door.
>You knock on it while looking at the intricate images on the door, and around it.
>Pretty weird for pony design.
>A medium-sized pony answers the door.
>"Ahh, Mister Anonymous! So glad to meet you, I hope the new house is to your liking?" he asks.
"Well, pardon my language," you start, "but Holy shit, this place is amazing!"
>"I'm glad it's to your liking, sir." he states, "We should have everything ready to move once you sign the papers."
>Doing a quick once-over, for anything you could exploit, you don't notice anything out of the ordinary.
"So, when will the move be done?"
>You say as you sign the contract.
>"But, the move is already done, sir." He says.
"What comes with the house exactly?"
>"Master Anonymous, the house comes with the bits he left you in his will." Wait, what?
"How much bits did he leave for me?"
>"About 3.4 billion bits, sir."
>...
>wut
>So I get a mansion, and over 3 billion bits, for not knowing someone?
>Sweet.
 
*2 WEEKS LATER*
 
>You snap upright, and find yourself laying across your pool table.
>All you have on, is a pair of pants and one of your... curtains.
>You look around, to see if there is anything else to signify what you did last night.
>Pinkie is laying on your couch with... your shirt on her, its covered in vomit.
>Applejack is laying across the doorway from the living room, to the kitchen.
>Rainbow is...
>Laying on one of the ceiling fan blades.
>How is that not broken?
>You see a few unknown ponies laying all around your house.
>Looking to the clock, you see about 1 o'clock.
>Well, now is the best time to get up...
>Getting up, you try as much not to trip over the multiple ponies laying on your floor.
>Opening the kitchen door fully, you walk in, being careful not to let it wake her up.
>Opening the fridge... why is there a boot in here?
>You don't even own boots.
>Finding the half empty milk container, you pull it out and smell it.
>Drugs.
>Why would you make milk smell like drugs?
>"Anawn, hway ah yoo up this earlee?" You hear.
"Oh i'm sorry, did I wake you?"
>She responds back, "Nah, ah'v ben awp fer a hwile, but ah didnt wanna git ahp."
>Dumping the milk into the open pipe in the counter, you walk to the nearest fountain.
>Tasting the milk, you spit it out immediately, covering the wall behind it in milk.
>Well, time to flush water through the pipes again.
>Hope you don't bust it like the last time.
 
 
NOT DONE.
Will be finished when I get back to it.