Title:           A Simple Guard and Just a Human (chapter 1 - Rewritten
Author:          Ruskie_on_a_Leash
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/YRzSuQGs
First Edit:      Tuesday 14th of October 2014 12:16:18 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Saturday 22nd of November 2014 07:52:29 PM CDT

Chapter One
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>Maybe it was the wine
>Maybe it was how he could smell the pheromones that your estrus was giving off
>Maybe it was that your advances were too strong
>Whatever it may be, you are Princess Celestia, and after a calming albeit, enjoyable night of wine tasting in the dining hall, you were hoping to finish off the night in the throes of ecstasy with your resident human, Anonymous
>Somepony you've become very close to during what feels like a brief couple of years
>But from the looks of panicked and terrified looks he’s giving off from you straddling his form, such a possibility is not going to be happening
"Anon, what's the matter?"
>The fear in his eyes flash in intensity by sevenfold, before being blinked away.  He flinches none the less at your voice.
Maybe now is not the time to be taking on a motherly tone.  If incest is regarded in the same respect on Equestria as it is on Earth, then maybe my hopes to bed Anon were doomed from since I first took his broken form under your wing
>"It’s… It's nothing Celestia."
>His tone is distant, and it looks like he’s struggling to look at you
Please don't say my full name Anon, you only call me that during the presence of other foreign ambassadors
>"I just need to be somewhere right now, I got some ambassador related paperwork I need to finish."
>He says, his voice trembling
Oh dear, he's trembling now.
"I do apologize Anon, I don't know what came over me, please excuse the way I acted.”
>You slowly and tentatively move off of Anon's body, going from straddling him, to sitting on the bed
>Not wasting a moment, Anon pulls himself of your bed, not bothering to grab his tie and sport coat you peeled off of him, before briskly crossing the room and out the door, not once bothering to look back
>Millenniums worth of knowledge, wisdom, and logic, that when brought together, made you the perfect co ruler for Equestria is currently screaming itself red in the face of every cell in your body which yearns to go find Anon and comfort whatever caused his earlier reaction
>The dispute is settled in a matter of seconds
>You take a breath, composing yourself before making your way off the bed
>You cross your room, out the still open doors from when Anon made his hasty exit, into the hallway and turn to address one of your two guard security force
"First Sargent Gleaming Ember, did you see the direction of which Ambassador Anon took when he embarked?"
>You ask using the same commanding tone reserved for all military personnel.  Personally, you disliked it, but it garnered the same respect and command needed all the same
>The resolute Unicorn Guard gives a salute before she addresses you.
>"Ma'am, Ambassador Anonymous, when vacating the premises, took the right upon leaving your room, before going to the end of the hall, where upon he took a left. Upon which he was out of this guard's line of sight."
>Formalities and technicalities were needless, you knew where Anonymous would go, but such things are needed to keep things running orderly.  Such things were needed especially after the Lunar Rebellion incident, if it wasn't Lulu's forces killing the guard, it was themselves when the embraced the chaos of the panic, further fueling the flames
>And if you are to have Gleaming Ember do you a favor, it’s critical she have a general idea where Anon went
"Thank you Sargent Gleaming Ember. You are ordered to find Ambassador Anonymous, from there you shall follow him making sure he is safe, I do not believe he is in the best state of mind, so he may be prone to violence, your safety takes precedence in this case though. Though I very much doubt he will, if he acts violent to you, I want you to leave immediately, without causing Anonymous harm if needed to escape, before you acquire reinforcements to subdue him, upon which I should be notified immediately and personally by you.  Also make sure that he does not harm himself, on accident, or on purpose.  I shall defer to your discretion on this, and put my trust in you.  And should he retire to his chambers, I want you to guard his chambers until he awakes.  Afterwards, you may return to your room in the barracks.  Otherwise, if all it quiet for the night, and he seems fine in the morning, report back directly to me at 1200 hours during the Court intermission.  Do not speak of this to anypony, and if a superior officer stops you for questioning, tell them to defer directly to me, is that understood?"
>"Perfectly Ma'am, with your approval, I shall leave immediately."
>A curt nod is all that is needed to send the Unicorn Guard running down the hall, following the supposed path Anon took.
Anonymous wouldn’t lay a hand on her.  But whatever is haunting his mind might cause him to harm himself.  I just hope a nameless face will be enough to pull him back, if but a step.
>You watch her run off for a moment, smiling
>Loyal as all your little ponies were, sometimes to a fault, it was admirable none the less, and you loved them for that and so much more
>Without turning you speak to the guard behind you
"Sargent Major, I assume I don't have to tell you that what you may have seen or heard is considered classified, and as such, should not be discussed with any other pony besides me.  And if my sister wishes to inquire about what transpired, while I can't order you to not tell her since you answer to her before me as all night guards do, I ask that you first tell her that I am willing to tell her myself. Is that understood?"
>"Yes Ma'am"
"Very good, you are relieved for the night, and may return to your barracks.  Before you retire for the night, report to your commanding officer before you are relieved."
>You quickly magic over a whetted quill and paper from inside your room, drafting a quick note for the good Sargent. A simple note for Officer Sun Shine, letting him know of the guard's situation
"I very much doubt I will be sleeping for the rest of the night, so I won't be needing any security detail. I also do not wish to be disturbed until I must leave for Day Court. You have your orders, may the winds always be in your favor."
>You pass off the note, accepting the Guard's salute with a curt nod, before you turn back into your room
>A bit of thought engages the magical and physical dead bolts, cutting you off from the outside
>Considering how 'worked up' you currently are, it's going to be a long night.
>You pull out a glass and a bottle of aged brandy, one of the many that have been gifted to you, left sitting in that same cabinet for many years now
>You climb onto the bed, gliding the distance needed, carrying the bottle of liqueur
>And end up landing into Anon’s sport coat, accidentally having you to take in his smell when you sigh in the comfort of the bed
>Your body grows far warmer than it was before, for a brief moment as your mind drifts to a single thought
>it's going to be a very long night
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>You are Gleaming Ember
>You are a proud member of Celestia's Solar Guard
>You have been a proud Guardsmare for the past three years
>You have fought dozens monsters that have stumbled out of the wood of the Everfree, and survived, faced down mad gods of even madder, abstract concepts, and fought a nightmare made corporeal
>And right now, after running though the castle for the past half an hour, you have almost never felt this panicked
>Princess Celestia has given you a direct order, one she must have viewed with the utmost importance and secrecy given all the itineraries, and that it went above the heads of all your commanding officers
>And she’s having YOU of all ponies carry out her will in her stead
>To say that you are panicked would be a vast understatement
Alright, he wasn't in his room, office, or the Embassy.  He didn’t go to the Guard’s mess hall, the Library, nor has he been seen loitering around the halls leaving the garde,
>Your line of thought is stopped by the sight of your charge, passing you on the other side of the open of the corridor that leads out into the garden
>You quickly halt your sprint, stopping a few feet behind where Ambassador Anonymous is outside, before you trot out, following him
>You travel on by the silver light of the moon, keeping a wide berth from his march
What is wrong with him? He's never looked this tired before, and he wasn’t exactly drunk when he and Celestia left.
>To say that Ambassador Anon wasn't well known by the guard would be a lie
>A very bad one at that
>Since the first day he had assumed his position as the Human “Ambassador,” he’s always been close to the guards
>Performing slight favors and acts of kindness, relieving personal security guards early, grabbing food for the unlucky few who stand at the wall, and eating with them, or even spending time in the Guard’s mess hall, telling stories and cheering the place with his infectious comradery
>The presence he gives off now is one entirely different from the one he always seemed to give off when you had guarded him
>Always overly respectful to all the Royal Guards, including the Lunar Guard who were still mostly viewed in fear for their appearance and their role in the Lunar Rebellion
>He was known to mostly kept to himself, but was very much a talker when it mattered, simple chit chat could evolve into rounds of laughter as stories and comradery would be shared
>And for those who got to know him, it became evident that his silence and his pleasantness hid something
>Or at least, that last bit was what was whispered in hushed tones to any new guards, as a warning
>That underneath that cheery, and kind mien, was a mind sharp enough to duel with that of the Princesses
>But that was what was assumed
>What was well known among the guards was that on his first day in the castle, the Ambassador actually saw through Prince Blueblood's impertinent act, and managed to break it long enough for the two of them to sit down and share a drink down at the Guard's mess hall
>Though, how Blueblood knew all the names of all the guards attending, even the cooks, is still being bet upon as its still anypony's best guess
>Not to mention all the work he had been doing behind the scenes to bring back the sense of decency the Royal Families one had
>Charisma was his middle name, though he oft joked it was Y. as in Anon Y. Mous
I never did get that one
>He was truly an alien presence, if not in form, then in his ability to be so well known, and yet have so little be known about him
>But the pony, rather, the human before you is anything but the one you remember
>There is no way to describe whom you see
>He just looks tired.  More so like a shell really.  The way his feet drag, how his body grows tense with every step and relaxes with the movement, the way he pays no attention to his surroundings
>He's walking just to walk
>And given the prints on the grass, this isn’t his first round the garden
>It's a couple rounds around the perimeter of the garden before stops at a bench overlooking the rest of the city, and falls into it, sitting
>You take a position behind him a distance away, paying attention to the eerie silence of the night
>You couldn't stand the silence, but then again, it was always a part of the job
>It's been a while since you've fallen into the familiar state of autopilot
>"You, Guardspony, you've been standing for an hour and a half, you going to take a seat already?"
>You catch the Ambassador calling for you, you assume
>You shuffle in place before you make your approach, keeping your eyes on the Ambassador as you make your way towards him
>You walk around the bench, and take a seat
>From the corner of your eye, you see that somehow he's completely still, barely showing any signs of breathing either.  Just staring out into the glowing embers of light that dot the landscape
"Beautiful, isn't it," you say aloud
>Strangely enough, from the corner, you see him grow tense at your voice, clenching his fists
Just what in Goddess’s name is eating at him?
>Your questioning is interrupted by the human of the hour
>"It’s much too familiar for me, I see something like this and I can't help but feel like I'm back home, back on earth. But yes, there is a beauty to it, one I unfortunately can't appreciate.
>Strange to see the Ambassador to grow so nostalgic at such a late hour, but alcohol has been known to bring many a ponies back to years past
>A question gnaws at you
“If I may, what was Earth like, if just the sight of Canterlot makes you nostalgic, sir?”
>Your question seems to throw him deeper into his reverie, as a smile barely twists on his face  
>"Earth, or Terra if you were into the new age hippy bullshit, was like a really fucking good stir fry."
>It takes all that you can to force yourself from laughing, but a snort still slips by
"Quite the amusing, or rather, unique choice of words, sir."
>The smile grows at this
>"I know, right? Damn me if Earth wasn't actually like that. You had so many god damn cultures and races on one itty bitty spit of sand.  You know, my people figured out that relatively speaking when you compare it, Earth I mean, to the universe, by our scientists best guess, was like comparing a grain of sand to the entirety of the solar system, then multiplying the size of that by a thousand, and even then, it still wouldn’t be nearly big enough
>You feel a jolt, and a sense of wonder
Not once have you heard him making mention to this, nor to anything suggesting such a matter.  Just how advanced were Anon’s people?
…
Wait, is he actually opening up, even in the slightest?
>"Trying to catch flies?" He asks as you feel your jaw being pushed shut by Anonymous
>He gives you a sideways smirk, and you feel your cheeks heat up having been caught staring at him with your mouth gaping, and the unintentional intimacy of the act
"I apologize sir, but are you being serious?"
>He gives a pompous snort before turning his nose to the air, no doubt learned from all his time spent with the nobility
>"Of course I am, when have I ever been known to lie? Well, I mean to the Guards. Fucking everybody knows I'm full of shit when I'm at work, but you guys, you guys I trust enough to tell the truth to.”
That’s probably the alcohol talking
>None the less, you feel your chest swell with hints of pride
"Thank you sir. It is a great honor to know that you trust us so much.
>The Ambassador blanches
>"And cut the sir bullshit, I've always hated being called sir, and it's not because I'm being fucking, shit, what’s the word?"
"Modest, sir?"
>"Fuck me, that's the word, modest. I'm not modest at all, I just have always hatted the title. I hate it just as much here as I did back on Earth, but what Celestia wants, she gets, and thus, I have this same green weenie crap following me."
>You let yourself smile a bit, enjoying the presence of the Ambassador
>Ambassador Anonymous seems just as content to sit in silence
“What about where you’re from, Ambassador?”
>You ask
>He gives another annoyed snort
>"What's your name, Guard?"
>His tone catches you off guard, it’s the same annoyed tone he tends to use when formally addressing fellow Ambassadors, or a number of the Royal Families
"I am First Sargent Gleaming Ember."
>"Cool, I'll call you Gleam, or Emmy. I don't know, which irritates you more?"
>You feel your face scrunch at the butchery of your name
"I'd prefer you just refer to me as Ember, Anonymous."
>He barks a wolf like laugh that causes your hair to stand on end, at the flash of his ivory teeth gleaming in the moon light
>Your thoughts grind to a standstill, and it feels like you swallowed a lead weight
>"Then you should know that if there's one thing that irritates me more than being called Sir, it's being called by my full name. Name's Anon. Sir when you want to piss me off in front of an Ambassador, and Anonymous when I'm talking to one of the Royal Families and you want to jack their ego off."
>The edge you feel falls as he speaks
>You shake your head, releasing the train of thoughts out as a weary sigh
“Understood, Anon.”
>Your tone loses some of your voice, switching back to the same sort of direct dialect used when speaking at attention
>One question still gnaws at you though
“What about where you’re from, specifically, Anon?”
>Anon rolls his head to where he’s looking at you
>”Hmm?  Uh, some small puissant of a city.  Like I said, sorta like Canterlot, but nowhere as big.  Lot brighter though.  Damn, that bitch would fucking glow at night.  Fuck the stars, you got your own little galaxy down on Earth.”
>He finishes with a smile on his voice
>Before you can be lulled back into the silence, he asks you
>”What about you?  I know you ponies don’t have too many cities around.”
>This time you smile, and relax as nostalgia takes a hold of you
“I was… I was born in Cloudsdale actually.”
>”Cloudsdale, as in the one up in the clouds?”
>Anon interrupts
>You cast an irritated glare his way
“Yes.  My mother and Father were both Pegasus’ actually.  They hadn’t expected me to be born a Unicorn, but this sort of thing will occasionally happen.  We ended up moving to Stalliongrad after I was born.”
>Anon shakes his head, and mumbles something about puns
He seems to be doing alright.  But what if I were to press the issue?
“Since it’s my turn to ask a question, why did you run from Her Majesty’s room, Anon?”
>Anonymous gives a groan of annoyance before resting his head in the palms of his hand, with his sitting on his knees
>"You're starting to get annoying, you know that?"
"For shame, I can't have you creeping in on your job, now can I dear Anon?  I just wish to know if you couldn’t stand to stare into the sun
>You smile, looking forward, but from the corner of your eye you see Anon smiling just as much as you.”
>He gives off a snort, "Okay, now you're just fucking with me."
>He's silent for a moment before he continues
>"Well can't say that I can't get it up, because as you reminded me, I don't lie to you guys…  Oh fuck.”
>The sudden drop of tone to one of pain, catches your attention
>You turn to see Anon bent over, one hand gripping his head, the other his stomach
>You quickly jump up, moving to his side
“Anon, how are you feeling?”
>He doesn't bother for you to answer. He merely stands up heading towards the exit
>You follow him on his way out, walking at his side on the cobble stone path, ready to catch him with your magic, should he fall
"Let’s get you to your quarters, Anon."
>Still gripping his head, Anon chuckles albeit weakly
>"Damn, did someone switch out my cologne this morning, because I'm having another woman come onto me just as soon as I got rid of the last one."
"You surprise me Anon. The way you're turning down mares is shocking, at this rate, a pony would come to the conclusion that you were into stallions.  I’m sure Celestia would be disappointed, especially after she sent me after you."
>Anon trips up, if but for a second, but keeps his walking steady
Ah buck, I probably shouldn’t have told him that Celestia sent me.
>You begin to wonder if you upset him, but are relieved to hear a warm chuckle come from Anon
>"You're good, I'll give you that.  Entertaining, and trust me, I knew you were sent by Celestia.  But to your misfortune, I'm better."
>You're left confused for a minute before you notice that you have stopped in front of a set of doors
>Anon let’s go of his head, and turns to you, a shit eating grin plastered on his face
>”Well my Lady Gleaming Ember, seeing as I am at my chambers, and how late it is into the night, I best take my leave."
>And with the flourish of his coat tails, and a pat on your helmet.
>”And maybe next time you can catch me with my pants down, when I’m actually drunk and sick.  Then I may tell you some factual stuff about Earth.”
Anon enters his room whistling a jaunty tune
>Before you can rebuke, the doors quickly close behind him, leaving you staring dumbly, both confused and slightly dazed over what had just transpired.
>Only three words are able to describe what you're currently feeling
"That mother bucker."
 
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