Title:           >Come back from work >Go to the living room
Author:          Red123456789
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/p0ScZxvN
First Edit:      Sunday 12th of July 2015 09:32:29 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Last edit on: Sunday 27th of March 2016 03:11:28 PM CDT

>Come back from work
>Go to the living room
>See this
http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/villains/images/0/00/Starlight_Glimmer_is_Back!.png/revision/latest?cb=20151122084308
>What do?
 
 
>You are Anon
>Office worker extrodinaire
>It was the only job you could find in Ponyville
>Strangely enough, there aren't many ponies with a bureaucrat cutie mark
>Most of them just have cutie marks related to some craft
>That made you think if the bureaucratic work was left for those without a cutie mark
>Whoever is talentless, they should handle the paperwork
>It mirrors how things are on your world actually
>As you are lost in your meta-social thoughts, you discover that you have stumbled into your kitchen
>You tend to do that often
>But this time, you notice someone sitting at the table
>With their filthy hooves on the table
>"Long day at work, honey?"
>Honey?
>What?
"What?"
>"I said, was it a long day at work? I know how stressed you get. But that's my lovable monkey-man. Always wanting to support his love"
>What?
 
>What?
>There you were, Anon, the transdimensional clerk, sitting across the table from a pony that claims that you love her
>With her filthy hooves on the table
>Filthying up the table cloth
>Was she raised by barbarians?
>That is your favourite tablecloth
>It took you three weeks to raise the money to buy it
>It's strange how much a tablecloth can cost you in a craft oriented economic system
>Then again there was only one pony with a tablecloth making cutie mark, so he had a monopoly over the entire tablecloth market
>Some of these cutie marks were strangely absurd
>You wonder if there was a table-related accessories cartel
>All with absurdly specific cutie marks
>You just noticed the pony in front of you has moved closer, looking concerned
>Her hooves no longer at the table
>That's how you liked your table
>No Hooves
>"Honey, are you ok? You seem very absent minded. Did something bad happen at work today?"
"Well, no. Just the usual. The mayor made work during my brake, but otherwise...."
>Wait!
>What are you doing?
>You don't owe this interloper any explanations
>Although it is nice for someone to ask you about your day
>Should you play along?
>"Come now honey, you can tell me"
>You decide to play along for a bit
>The next half-hour, you spend explaining how your day went
 
"So it was just another day at the office"
>"Aww...poor thing. You must be tired. Let me make you some brownies"
"I love brownies!"
>"I know. That's how we met, remember?"
>What?
>"I just made some brownies and I left them to cool off on the window. You tried to steal some, but I stopped you. One thing left to another..." she dozed off with a smile
>"It's hard to believe we have been married for ten years"
>What?
>WHAT?
>MARRIED?
>TEN YEARS?
>MARRIED?
>WHAT?
>"Is everything alright? You seem distressed"
>Your jaw is hanging low
>Your catatonic state slowly began to let you go
>It was clear now
>She wasn't just some random mare, who decided to break into your house
>She was a mad mare...that decided to break into your house
>You have an odd train of thought
>As she turned to take out the ingredients for the brownies, you stood up, grabbed a rolling pin from the counter and slowly walked to her
>Then you noticed that she took out strawberries and started chopping them up
>"I know you like the smaller breed of strawberries, but there weren't any at the market, so had to buy these. I hope it's not problem, honey"
>She turns around and sees you holding the rolling pin
>You awkwardly hand it to her
"N-no problem"
>She takes it, with a bit of suspicion in her eye and continues on
>It was true
>You did like the smaller breed of berries
>But that's not the point
>You loved brownies with strawberries
>It's just how your mother used to make them
>And you haven't told that to anyone in Ponyville
>Today seems like one crazy day
 
>Recap
>You are in your house after a long day at work
>And there is a pony you've never seen in your life, who claims that you have been married for the past ten years
>You are doubtful of what she says
>Until she proves it by baking you brownies with strawberries
>The same way your mother used to make them
>Some might argue that a gastronomical secret isn't enough to prove a marriage
>Buy you are not some
>You are Anon
>And you are about to find out what is going on
>By using shrewd psychoattacks and mental tricks
"So...honey, how was your day"
>"The usual, cleaned up around the house, went to the market, got home, went out with a few friends. Nothing out of the ordinary"
"I see..."
"Say, forget the brownies. Let's go out"
>"Really?"
"Sure! When was the last time we went out together?"
>"Is has been a while"
>This will be the perfect way to get some information
>You'll sit at a cafe, have a drink, some small talk and everything will fall in it's place
>Besides
>Everyone in Ponyville knows that you are not a one-mare type of guy
>Someone you know will see you, find it suspicious, go to you, ask about it, and they'll help you sort everything out
 
>Later on, you and your "wife" are sitting at the cafe
>She ordered juice
>You ordered some coffee
>After all
>You are at a cafe
>You always thought that it is some kind of tradition to ordered a coffee
>Like you were honouring the forefathers of coffeehouses
>It all made sense
>"Honey, should you be drinking coffee this late? You know how caffeine affects you. You won't be able to sleep all night"
>First sign of her being a liar
>Coffee doesn't affect you so much
>With your youthful spirit and all that
>Combined with the earlier fact that she put her
GOD DAMN FILTHY HOOVES ON THE TABLE
>Her scheme is starting to unravel
"I'm fine"
>The small talk starts
>Nothing out of the ordinary
>Just fruitless gossip
>But then you see a familiar face
>It's the Cakes
 
"Dear, look. It's the Cakes. We should call them over"
>"Good idea, honey!" - she waves at the couple
>They trot to you and after a little talking in, they decide to join you
>Perfect
>You've known Mr. Cake since you moved to Ponyville
>Although he got married at a younger age, he still knew how to hang out with boys
>He knows your nature
>He'll suspect something ASAP
>"So what are you two doing out so late?" - Mrs Cake started the conversation
>"Oh, Nony decided to take me out for a bit, even though he'd be working tomorrow"
>"That's how you know true love. A man giving up his free time to spend it with his woman" - Mr Cake commented
>What?
>Mr Cake
>No...
>Come on, bro
>Don't play along
>No need to be my wing man
"Um, yeah. You know me - the undying spark of love"
>The mares started conversing
>This was your time to talk to Mr Cake
"So, I have this problem..."
>"I'll say. Coffee in the evening, before a work day. You sure you can handle it?"
"What? No! It's this mare"
>"I getcha, boy. But ten years of marriage isn't easy, I should know"
>What?
>"I still remember when you told the gang you were getting married. Boy, were we shocked"
>What?
"It was hard to believe at first. You just started that crummy job at the mayor's office. It took you so much time to raise the money for the ring. I can't believe you still work there"
>What?
>Something is very wrong
>You started your job what seems to be a week ago
>And know one of your friends is saying that you've been working there for ten years
>Something is very amiss
>It was just yesterday when you were hanging out with your friends, discussing the weird social classifications, economics, pussies and all that good stuff over a beer
 
>Ten years couldn't have passed
>You look the same as you always have
>Early twenties, green fellow with a killer sense of style
>And as you look down, you notice that you have a belly
>A small belly, nothing to fret
>But it wasn't there before
>And your slick, jet-black suit has gone a tad paler
>How can you just notice these things?!
>"ANON!"
>You turn to the mares
>"Honey, you were day-dreaming again. Mrs Cake asked you if you would help speed up her request down at the municipality"
"Whu...oh, yes, sure, no problem"
>"Thank you, Anon. Be sure to drop by tomorrow during your lunch break to get your doughnuts. They'll be just taken out of the oven"
>You nod with a smile
>"Always day-dreaming" Mr Cake continued to talk to you
>"You haven't stopped since you got here. I remember when we were planning to start a rock band, become famous and what not. All your ideas. "Gonna be bathing in pussy and liquor" you said. Boy does time fly"
>It sure does
>"To think. Ten years, an office worker. They say that bureaucracy steals souls in Equestria. That's why there are so little of you here. But you turned out ok, eh?"
>Steals souls
>No shit
>It stole your life
>There is no way this could be true
>Unless
>One final test
>You reach into your inner pocket
>You take out your wallet
>Your ID card
>Your calendar
>Born =//=
>Year //==//
>Good god
>It is true
 
>Later that evening, after the cafe, you went home with your wife
>She went to bed and you said you will be just a minute
>You are in the kitchen
>You've been there for a few minutes
>You've lit a cigarette
>Although you stopped smoking, you still kept a pack just in case
>The taste is revolting
>It tastes like ten-year old tobacco, left in a moisture soaked cupboard
>As you reminisce about your young life, you just now notice the tablecloth
>It seems so worn out
>Just this morning it was in top condition
 
>Was all this they called a mid-life crisis?
>Probably
>Your grip on time slips and the next thing you know, boom, you are married and your life gone by
>You probably could have done a lot in ten years
>Probably
>But now, you have a wife to support
>Better get to bed
>You go into your room
>Starlight Glimmer is already fast asleep
>That was her name
>You change in your pajamas
>You lie next to her, staring at the ceiling
>You do that for the rest of the night
>Coffee really did have an affect on you
 
Duh Ent