Title: Thread 94: Stories 16-30 Author: PrincessApplejack Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/Akzemz24 First Edit: Monday 1st of August 2016 05:15:17 PM CDT Last Edit: Monday 1st of August 2016 05:15:17 PM CDT _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________     NC >Dash ‘Soarin’   > WHY DID YOU TRY TO FUCK ME!?   ‘Ma’am, dat ass, ma’am?’   >… *** 1 hour later.   The desk was split in two, their uniforms destroyed, the papers….unsalvageable.   >Ok so…you are so fired right now.   ‘What!? After all that!?’   >Yeah…I can’t be caught fraternizing and there is no way I’m leaving this at a one time off after that performance. …how do you feel about having a sugar momma?   ‘…I literally just fucked myself out of a job’   >yeah ya’ did soldier…now come to momma…   ‘..Airpony’   >Hush. Time for cuddles. *** Sometimes, everything goes better than expected.   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   Non-Canon >Pinkie "Luna" ~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and we're back to our regularly scheduled program! Now for our main guest...PRINCESS LUNA! Applause.   "Thou calls us again so soon?"   >Aw you're using the thous again? You weren't talking like that during our adventure.   "We're...live right now."   >Ah, it's a public thing...oh darn. I used up my question and it wasn't even the one I wanted to ask.   "Thou...could just ask right-"   >That's the end of our show! I'm going to need you to come back tomorrow.   Luna wakes up. "...The crazy pink one is lucky her show is short otherwise we wouldn't visit."   ~NC Space~ >I know you visit because you like me.   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   OOCO >AJ "SA" 'Celestia' ~~   >...   "HELP!"   'STOP STARING YOU IDIOT AND HELP US!'   >...Explain, and Ah'll consider it.   "We were just trying to balance the budget!"   >...this... this answers nothin'.   'Look, the zoo was overbudget by two hundred bits, we had to remove two hundred bits, so we decided to release the animals who nobody visited in order to save on food this month!'   >Ain't that... dangerous?   "It would be, if the reason nobody visited wasn't because THESE THINGS ARE SCARY AND NOT DOMESTICATED!"   >...The snakes.   'THE SNAKES!'   >The snakes on the floor.   "My fault."   'Shiny, you don't have to take the blame for this. I can admit the failings of my own ass being carelessly swung around just fine!'   "I just didn't want you to drop me..."   >...   "HELP!"   >...Okay.   *Leaves*   'WHERE ARE YOU GOING!?'   >Ta' get Fluttershy.   "WHAT ABOUT US!?"   >Whelp, those fellas go off movement, so... try ta' be still?   "..."   '...'   >Good luck!   "..."   '...'   "....You know Celly, if you ever look at me and start talking about snakes, it-"   'I promise if I ever say that again, it will be a sex thing.'   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________    OOCO >SA "Chrysalis" 'AJ' ~~~   >This isn't going to work.   "IT'S TOTALLY GOING TO WORK!"   >Sigh.   '...Why do Ah' keep walkin' in on this? Just... put a sock on the door or somethin'?'   >Isn't that only if you're having sex?   "Whoa, wait, we having sex? Finally! OM NOM NOM!"   >Get awayyyy!   "Bah! Seriously, AJ? Can you believe this? Seriously about to go down on the guy, mouth open and full of a long ass tongue, and he just shoves me... is he gay? Tell me right now, I need to know."   'Might have more ta' do with the dang fangs in yer' mouth.'   "...huh..."   >Also, married.   "That has not stopped literally anyone yet, why do you keep pulling it out?"   >...Point.   'In the interest of gettin' off this topic, what are ya' doin'?'   "I'll have you know I'm preparing a fundraiser for my citizens!"   '...Whelp, the glimmer o' hope has entered inta' mah chest. Now ya' get ta' the stupid part.'   "It's a battle royale!"   'And there it is. Who the heck is gonna fight ya'?'   "Wha? Nobody, it's them fighting each other."   '...So ya' wanna make yer' guys fight for sport?'   "Sure!"   >See? It's never going to work, nobody is going to pay to see-   'How much are tickets, and gimme fifty.'   >"..."   'Ah' gotta big family.'   >...   "...I've reconsidered."   'BLUEBALLER!   "Now you know how I feel!"   >...what   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   OOCO >Spitfire "SA" 'Celestia' ~~~   "So, how are my premiere ariforce doing?"   >...   "...That bad?"   >You on a first date bad.   "Oh, so looks bad but eventually ends in sex?"   >Not with me it doesn't.   "Touché."   >...Sorry.   "Sorry?"   >I keep forgetting it would be inappropriate to make those kinds of jokes like we used to. Sorry, I'll try to be more... professional.   "..."   >...what?   "...Hey! Celestia!"   'Yep!'   "Your ass is huuuuuge!"   'Oh, Shiny, admiring it again?'   "Not for too long, looking at the sun is dangerous."   'But it leaves one hell of an imprint on your eyes!'   "So does snow blindness, but I don't see you looking away from my ass."   'I put on the shades, it's fine. Besides, what makes you think the ass is what I'm interested in? Real fun part is a little lower!'   "Hey, I look like snow, but I burn like anything else."   'Two sides to the horse, Shiny!'   "That just sounds like you want a kiss."   'Do I!?'   ""MWAH!"'   "Now get your big ass back to Canterlot, you've got work to do."   SMACK!   'AH! So mean! I need to punish you for that.'   SMACK!   "EEP! Oh, you're going to get it later!"   'That's what she said, and she is me!'   "Get outta here!"   *Leaves*   "...answer your question?"   >...   "...Spitfire?"   >...   "Your nose is kinda... oh."   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   [???] ~~~   >Still... um... that aside, I don't think that it would be appropriate if the guards saw someone not your wife or old employer hitting on you, even though it would be totally in jest.   "Oh for the love of... HEY!"   [WHAT!?]   "What do you want to do to me right now?"   [Drink your love, Shiny! Drink it until I'm glowing like the motherfucking sun! Guzzle it down! Take it in anyway I can get it, I don't even give a fuck! Right here, in the hallway, wherever you feel like it! And we both know when I say love I mean your DI-]   "Thank you, Chrysalis, that will be all."   [...Your DI-]   "I SAID GOOD DAY!"   [...fine.]   >...She does that all the time?   "All the time, she never-"   [IMEANSHINY'SDICK!]   "GET OUTTA HERE I SAID!"   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   OOCO >SA "Cadence" 'AJ' ~~~   >...What in the hell.   "SHINY HELP!"   >This is not one of my fantasies, just so you know. This right here? Not sexytime it's just probably illegal.   'Ah, hush! She needs ta' get back ta' her work!'   >So you're tying her up with a lasso... I see a flaw, but I fear pointing it out to you.   'She ain't gonna run away again!'   "I wasn't running away!"   >She was running away?   "TRAITOR!"   'She's gonna do her paperwork and that's that!'   >...Okay. Hey honey, want to come into my office and do paperwork with me? You can sit on my lap!   "Do I?!"   '...'   >What, do you want to see what happens when a bored, MARRIED stallion has his hot as the sun wife on his lap while doing paperwork? Do you want to see what happens and I get distracted, my gaze sloooowly going down her back, before landing on that thing right above that legally bound to her piece of me? You want to see what happens, Applejack?   '...'   >I will MAKE. YOU. WATCH.   '...Fine, jus' take yer wife.'   >I thank you.   "Friggen... gaddang creepy ass... like Ah' wanna hear that crap..."   *She leaves*   >...soooo-   "Just untie me."   >Oh, well, shoot. Was kind of hoping you would want to try that, but since you don't, I'm just fine with-   *ZOOM!*   "THANKSSHINYLATEFORMYSPAPHEWALMOSTDIDN'TMAKEITSCREWYOUAPPLEJACKSEEYOuwhenIgethomelove...u..."   >Ha ha, very funny, now come back so we can... she's... she's not coming back, is she...................................good thing my office has a lock on it...   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >42 "Spike" 'Rarity' ~~~~   'Spike? I'm worried about... oh my.'   >TAKE IT BACK! TAKE IT BAAACCKKKKKK!   "RARITY HELP!"   '...No?'   >I WILL DEVOUR YOUR SOUL!   "SHE'LL DO IT, I'VE SEEN HER!"   'Mind if I ask what you did to deserve a chokehold? Usually you get a noogie, at worst. This is pretty severe.'   "I JUST ASKED IF IT WAS HARD TO KISS CADENCE'S POINTY MOUTH!"   >That's not what you said!   "...oh, and then I made a mention of her probably tasting like hairspray."   >TAKE IT BAAAACCKKKKKKK!   "Fiiiiine, there's no chance she tastes like hairspray."   >GOOD!   "...she probably tasted like mascara and lipstic-GLLKKKKKK!"   >YOUR SOUL IS MIIIIIINNNNEEEEEEE!   "RARITY HELP!"   'Spike, never talk about what you taste on a lady's lips, it's just rude.'   "NOT WHAT I MEANT!"   'Well, it's what's important. Carry on, you two!'   "RARITY NO! COME BACK! COME BAAAACK!"   CRICK!   "EEP! MY SPINE!"   >ALL YOU WILL EVER TASTE IS FEAR!   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   OOCO >carrot cake ‘Spike’   Carrot cake was locking up for the night. It had been a long day, and he was ready to have some downtime. He had just finished his rounds and had turned to go upstairs when a voice echoed from the kitchen behind him, silky and dangerous.   ‘Good evening, Mr. cake’   Carrot swallowed nervously then turned to the voice of the young dragon, concealed in shadow.   >S-Spike…what brings you here?   ‘We had a contract, Mr. cake. I’m here for you to fulfill your end of the bargain’   >Right!...Your um…your order…   ‘Will it be ready soon?’   >umm..about that…you see….It’ll be ready tomorrow! Yeah, that’s right tomorrow, we had some delays, a lot of orders and…   ‘Why are you lying to me?’   >I’m not lying!   ‘I read your order ledger. You are still well below your capacity this week aren’t you?’   >…It’s always a little slow this time of year   ‘and my order was due 3 days ago. Was it not?’   >…it was.   ‘So is there a problem?’   >No! No. No problem…just…had a bad day! It’ll be ready tomorrow!   ‘Ah, I see, good. In that case, you’ll be needing….this!’   Put of the darkness a pan flew and hit the flow skittering across the tile to come to a stop at the bakers hooves. A pan in the shape of two shapely curves.   The stallion paled.   ‘Strange that such essential baking equipment would find its way into the garbage isn’t it? Would you care to explain?’   >Spike, look, I…I can’t do this anymore! My wife…she won’t look at me for a day after I do, she keeps me away from the kids! She won’t let them in the kitchen! …Please! Don’t make me bake the butt cakes anymore….   ‘Oh carrot….carrot carrot carrot. We have a contract, do we not?’   >…we do.   ‘and haven’t I sent business your way from all my old friends and aquaintences in canterlot?’   >You have.   ‘And don’t I send a large number of the princesses orders your way?’   >You do.   ‘Are my bits not as good as anyone else’s?’   >Of course they are!   ‘So what’s the problem?’   >I just told you!   ‘A trifling personal matter, buy her something nice, work when you won’t be observed, it doesn’t matter to me…just get me my cake.’   >…why me?   Spike stepped from the shadows into the lit area of the shadowy kitchen.   ‘Because you are an artist sir. Any could give me a simple ‘erotic’ cake…you, you know how to make gemstone flavors, you can craft a near perfect replica of my desires, you! You sir, are the only baker in the city who can…satiate…my hungers.’   >…I won’t do it.   ‘Pardon me?’   >I said I won’t do it. My family is too important. You can’t force me!   ‘I see…family is important isn’t it? Really, nothing is more important than family.’   >R-Right! So you understand.   ‘And a father…wants to provide for that family…doesn’t he?’   >Y-yes?   ‘Tell me Mr Cake, have you seen the price of college these days? Or medical care? Or retirement for you and your lovely wife? It must be…difficult to save for all that.’   >Well…actually since we’ve come here, with all the business you’ve sent us it’s been-   His eyes went wide as it began to dawn on him where the dragon might be going.   >Y-you wouldn’t…   ‘Wouldn’t? Wouldn’t what? Redirect more of the cake orders to the kitchens away from your business making it harder to cover your bills and provide for your children and their future? …perish the thought. Of course, as assistant to the princesses I do coordinate their snacks, so I don’t deny such power is within my claws. Or should I say….’   His gaze drifted to the pan   ‘Your hooves?’   Carrot swallowed.   >…what flavor this time? Apple? White Chocolate? …grape?   ‘I thought we agreed never to mention the grape again!’   The dragon snarled.   >Just trying to serve my customer!   The stallion quailed.   ‘…surprise me. I trust your judgement.’   >Yes sir. After all…the customer is always right…   ‘I shall wait in the café. How long shall it be?’   >A few hours? I’ll…keep it simple this time.   ‘Good. I’d hate to be kept waiting. *** Back in his closet in the castle, spike unwrapped his treasure, impatient to see which glorious rump and flavor had been recreated this time. Really anticipation was half the fun!   Removing the lid he gazed down to see…black liquorice flavored gelatin. In a perfect recreation of the ass of one Queen Chrysalis.   ‘Touche baker. Touche.’   He picked up his fork.   ...No sense letting it go to waste, right?   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   CD >Applejack "Luna" '???' ~~~   >THIS IS CHAPPIN' MAH ASS, LUNA!   Forwards, forwards, forwards... Somehow ended up back where she started.   Left, left, right, forwards thirty paces... Somehow ended up back where she started.   Right right right right right right right ...Somehow ended up back where she started.   That one was less confusing.   >LUNA!   "Thou must use your magic, Applejack. A simple spell shall-"   >NOPE! Let me out!   "...A simple spell shall-"   >LET! ME! OUT!   "Will thou quit!? We are trying to speak to thee!"   >Luna, look, Ah' dunno what crawled up yer' moony ass but ya' need ta' get it out right now. Ah' need ta' get ready fer' the actual work Ah' gotta do! Ah'm facin' some gaddang legal troubles, and Ah'm not gonna be able ta' handle that in here!   "But we just wish thee to use a simple spell-"   >And then it'll be another 'just one simple spell', and another, and another and another and another and gaaahhhh! AH' DON'T CARE!   "Thou art a princess, the holder of the grandest power of magic to ever be! Thou has the capability, thou shall learn it! Now, for this next trick, thou shalt have to get this peach from- hey!"   Annoyed, she held up the fruit in question, deftly retrieved from a bundle of twisting thorns with little more than a stick, her mouth and some expert timing.   >Ya' really think this is the first time Ah've had ta' pull some fruit from thorns? Really? REALLY? Ah'm a gad danged farmer!   "That was supposed to be a test of your control!   >Oh, like this here puzzle?   "Don't you dare, you use thine magic-NO!"   Ignoring her completely, the orange mare reared back, and bucked the puzzle piece right into place.   >Ah' can hit a bullseye with an apple from fifty yards, this here? This is cake.   "Applejack, thou has abilities beyond what thou art using to their fullest! You must learn them, thou must see what has been denied!"   >Ah' also have the ability ta' learn Buffalo, tapdance like a Stalliongradian, name every country by heart and identify every single type of soil that every type of plant can live in. Ya' ain't showin' me new things, Ah've had ta' get stuff outta tricky situations before, when Ah' DIDN'T have magic. Ah' can do this because Ah' had ta', there weren't no other option, ya'll just think Ah' need it because ya' can't imagine someone not usin' magic fer' everythin' like you do. All yer' showin' me is fancy tricks and basic puzzles. Ah'd rather show you how ta' fill out a HT-18-100 form.   "This isn't about that! This is about control, about learning to see things in a new way, a way of more control, where thou can control the unexpected far better than thou has!"   >...Do ya'll even hear yer'self!? Ah' don't need that stuff!   "Ugh! What the devil did mine sister see in thee when thou art so stubborn thou cannot even manage simplicity!"   >Oh, Ah' dunno, common sense, hard work ethics, level head, sanity, stubbornenss ta' call her out... ya' know stuff Ah' learned as an EARTH PONY?   "But there is so much more to you that you can be! You can understand things so much better if thou would just tap into thine magic!"   >...no, seriously, did ya' hear yer'self? What the heck makes ya' think Ah' don't understand things, and that's gonna change from some dang sparkles?   "That is precisely what we mean!"   The world around her began to swirl, becoming enveloped in a darkness as thick as the black of night in streams akin to wisps of smoke.   "Thou knows not how great thou can become with magic, thou does not understand the possibilities it opens up, the sights thou can see! With this, the understanding of magic, thou can better understand! Thou must become more, for the sake of Equestria-OW!"   Within a second, it all went away, leaving behind nothing but a mare of the night, painfully rubbing her eye.   There was not a bit of remorse in Applejack's eyes.       >...Ya'll can shove it. Ah'm not usin' magic just cause ya'll just up and decided Ah' need to.   "We are only trying to help!"   >Yeah, well... go actually do some damn paperwork, that'll help. Be a big help, even.   "Doesn't thou see we are merely trying to help thee to unlock thine potential!?"   >No, Ah' don't see that. All Ah' see is a mare that's tryin' ta' make me do what she thinks Ah' need, cause she doesn't think Ah' was up ta' her standards till Ah' got a horn.   "That is not what we are saying!"   >Sure sounds like it.   She huffed, blue cheeks puffing out ever so slightly at the insinuation.   "...Thou will understand, with one final test."   >Ah' told you, Ah'm not playin' yer-   She teleported away, gone in a flash before Applejack could pop her another one in the eye.   Once more the world was consumed in darkness. But this time, there was no stopping it. It shifted and twisted, warped and distorted. Stretched and filled itself until it took on a shape, clinks of stone scraping against each other resounding as the forest surrounding her was gone away, and instead...   A hallway of magic, long as she could see, stretching out easily the length of the entire garden, and perhaps beyond. Straightforward in it's design, like the castles of old, bricks of grey stone and simple patterns. Except, of course, for the numerous spells woven every few dozen steps, glowing hotly like they were charged with lightning from a thundercloud.   >..Seriously?   "Since you have forced us to take such drastic measures, thou shall learn as we did. Thou have four tests to overcome, I suggest thee gets to them."   >Really. Cause it looks ta' me like Ah' just have ta' turn around and-... Oh, go buck yer'self. That ain't a euphemism, Ah' seriously want ya' ta' rear back and somehow double kick yer'self in yer' own head, Ah' don't care how.   The princess chuckled to herself, the sound reverberating down the endless, pitch black hallway that had appeared right behind Applejack.     "By all means, try it."   >...This is some bullshit.   "The first test is a simple one, you must simply-"   THOOM!   "...Applejack, do please wait to hit anything, we've barely even-"   >Wasn't me.   "...w.. wha?"   THOOOM!   "..."   THOOM! THOOM!THOOMTHOOM-   With an explosion of stone and magic, the wall at the other end of the hallway erupted inwards, pouring all over the ground in rows of rocks and broken stone.   Of all the possible answers, that this was some kind of attack, that a bulldozer had gone off the rails and crashed into the wall, that the eternal god of damnation had risen and really hated walls for some reason, this was by far the least favorable answer.   >...Chrysalis? The fu-   'THERE YOU ARE! Appleass, I've got a serious fucking bone to pick with you!'   >Chrysalis wait!   'Don't you fucking tell me to-'   She stepped forwards, right onto the spell.   In seconds, chains appeared from every corner of the wall, wrapping around her so tightly she couldn't breath.   'HEY! What the fuck!?'   "We hold no pity for thee, bug. Thou must pay for thine own stupidity. Now, hang there until Applejack arrives, and we can-"   FWOOSH! CLINK!   "..."   'HAH! Fuck that!'   "BLASTED INSECT! That was supposed to be APPLEJACK'S test! SHE was the one who was supposed to master moving her body unnaturally!"   The Queen in question just smirked, returning to her full size in seconds, gone away from the fily-sized body she had been in to easily escape the chains.   'Yeah, well, fuck you, I've got shit to do.'   Just as rambunctiously, the queen stepped forwards, seemingly without a single care to the fact that she yet again stepped on a tile.   Just like before, magic exploded, covering her this time not in chains, but in layers upon layers of a spider like silk, weaving all over her in every way and clinging her to the floor.   "Hrmph! That ought to hold you, and do not even think of using fire! That is highly flammable, and will burn you just as surely as it would anyone else!"   >Ya'll were gonna burn me!?   "What? No no no, we were merely wishing thee to USE a fire spell, and then you put it out with the bucket. See? The bucket of water? We are not a monster, Applejack... Though now this is a challenge, but if thou feels that thou needs to set fire to the bug, we shall understand, and will forgive any slowness in putting her out... now, as we were saying, Applejack, thou should-"   'GRRAAAAAGH!'   "GOOD LORD!"   >TARNATION!   Even the two stoic princesses had to blanch a bit when they heard a sickening CRACKLE of what sounded like something being shattered a million times over.   The silk bulged up ever so slightly, then erupted into waves of cleanly sliced stripes as her wings glowed hotly, letting off the sounds of cracking bones as it shredded that which attempted to hold her down.   'Fuck, I hate that noise.'   >WHAT!?   'As I was saying, I-ZZZZZPZPZPZPZPZPZPZP!'   Magical electricity danced over her body when she stepped on the next one, covering her from hooftip to horntip in electricity.   "Ha ha! We have thee now, bug harlot! If thou tries to fly, thou-"   'ZPZPZPZPZPZP MOTHERFUCKER!'   "...shall have that happen, yes. Thou must levitate ever so slightly off the ground, but not touch it. Now, for dear Applejack, we gave quite the leniency in room. But for thine own oversized hide, we wager thou shall have, oh... about four inches. Good luck staying exactly four inches off the- oh for the love of our mother!"   Without a single care, Chrysalis grabbed hold of the bucket of water, and splashed it down over the floor.   "...Did thou think thou could merely short it out? HA! Thine insect knows so little of magic, tis almost amusing! It is not real electricity, and it does not act as such! It merely-..... HOW!?"   With just as much care as before, in other words none, Chrysalis walked over the water. Or rather, on top of the water, only two inches tall.   "HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT!?"   'HAH!'   At last, she came to the final one.   "...We had been saving this one, but it's time to make a slight adjustment."   >Wha-   Then there was nothing.   Nothing but pure, pitch blackness.   Pitch blackness and the sounds of something moving in the darkness.   >What...   "They are the things of shadows, Applejack, creatures of the dark. They thrive in it, live in it... feed in it."   She felt something brush against her leg, something alive.   "If thou wishes to survive, a simple spell of light is all that is required. Flame shall not avail you, nor beams. No... you must produce pure, white light. A simple spell that even a child could do... but not a changeling, no? Now, thou-"   SCREEEEE!   "OH COME ON!"   It hurt.   Being blasted in the face like she was, it hurt. Like accidentally walking directly out into the sun after a long nights rest. It glowed, with absolute brilliance it glowed, shining a light into all the room.   The things of the dark shrieked, melting away into nothing before her eyes, dead in seconds. And there she was, standing in the center of it... no.   She was the center of it.   Queen Chrysalis, glowing like a beacon.   "HOW?! HOW!? Thou cannot... HOW!?"   'HAH!'   "THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A TEST!"   '...Did I mess up your test?'   >Ah' didn't want it.   'HAH!'   "CURSE YOU, INSECT! CURSE YOU FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!"   Huffing like an offput child, the magic, and with it the ruined hallway, went away, leaving behind nothing but an angry, bitter and glaring alicorn.   "We were doing this to improve Equestria! Not that thou cared!"   'Nope.'   "...GRRRNNNNN!"   She took off, flying into the air in a bout of frustration, followed shortly behind by her guards of the night.   Soon, the two were alone.   '...Well, that was fun. HAH!'   >Way ta' prove her point, jackass. Ah' was gonna show her how good Earth Pony ingenuity could beat her dang fancy magics. But no, ya' had ta' beat it with fancy magics, didn't ya'?   'Meh. I like magic. Lots of ways to solve a problem.'   Applejack rolled her eyes, readjusting her hat in a bit of annoyance, and to keep her hooves busy enough she didn't smack the bug Queen one on the face.   >Since when could ya' freakin' glow, anyway?   'Pfft, since Auntie Lunactis showed me.'   >...oh?   'Hm? Oh yeah... funny story. Okay, so at first she's like "I'll never show you my special power! AHAHAH!" and then I was like "What special power?" And she was like "THIS ONE!" and... well, long story short, I told her she was just using glowsticks, she proved it was real to me by showing how she did it, and then... heh. Ohhhh, the look on her face... fucking laughed at me when I used it, though. You know I'm totally blind when I do that shit? Can't see fucking anything, like a spotlight behind my eyes. Fucking hurt. Just laughed and laughed...'   >Oh... uh... that was nice o' her.   'Nah, nice was Geeridia. You know, the water walking thing? I literally just walked up and was like "Wow! That was so cool! How did you do that?"... think she was just kinda happy, everyone else just laughed at her. Her technique only works on five inches of water or less, and it's like... when are you ever going to use that? Still, it was hers, she was proud of it and wanted to share. So she pulled me aside, made a big show of showing me... I thought it was stupid as hell, but I didn't say anything. Mom called me dumb for that one, then laughed at her and pushed her over.'   >...Charmin'. So, what, was that whole wing thing yer' power?   'PFFT! No! Like I'd have a power that lame! That was Cicadidae... poor sap. Think she just taught me it so Titania would stop chasing her, she hated that noise.'   >Huh.   '...You going to make me explain the fwoosh too?'   >Can put it ta'gether who taught ya' that one.   'Good... so, your turn.'   >What?   She smirked, poking Applejack in the nose.   'I showed you my powers, show me some of yours.'   >...Okay.   Barely off to the side, a rock levitated up, and then fell back down.   >Ta da.   'Bitch, I meant some cool ones!'   >And Ah' ain't got any need fer' them, thankee.   'What about that one I showed you? Rolling the thing in your head?'   >...Huh...   She didn't really think about it, just kinda did it. That same move, making a little ball under her skull, rolling it around in her head, and letting it out. A tiny beam of aimless magic fired off, singing a tree.. and nothing else.   >Walla.   'Now show the reeest.'   >That all Ah' know.   'Bullshit, Twilight's got spells for days.'   >And Ah' ain't learned a dang one of them thank you very much. Ah' know what Ah' need, and that's it.   '...oh.'   It was odd, seeing Chrysalis taken completely off guard like she was.   Odd, and a little unsettling.   >What?   '...Dunno, that's just kinda weird.'   >Ah' told ya', Ah' don't need no magics.   'Well, yeah, you don't need them, but...'   >But what?   '...Dunno. Guess I should be glad I got a chance to use these techniques, I never do.'   >So then why'd ya' learn 'em? Sounds like they ain't very useful... and one of 'em'll probably make ya' blind.   '...Isn't that obvious?'   She thought about that, from the way she was looking at her, it probably should be.   That made it all the worse when she couldn't really find the answer to it.   '...So why the hallway?'   >Oh... think that's how she learned it, Ah' guess? Gal wouldn't take no fer' an answer.   'Huh... neither did mom.'   >...that's the truth...   A silence hung over them, quiet as the night in the empty garden.   >...Ya' ever wish they were still around? Yer' other family, Ah' mean, not...   'Nahhh, they were assholes. Besides, I've got their techniques. That's something. You have any idea how many techniques never got passed down? Just... poof, gone from the world forever? Some real useful stuff in there.'   >S'a shame.   'Yeah... could've been a lot stronger.'   >Ain't what Ah' meant, but okay... ya' hear ta' yell at me about yer' guys?   'Hm?... Huh... you know, I can't really remember why I came here, funny that... Fuck it, I'm gonna go see if Shiny wants to go skinny dipping.'   >Still chasin' a cart with tags?'   'Still jailbait waiting?'   >...Fine. Get yer' buggy ass outta here.   'Don't tell me how to live.'   Despite this, she did fly off, head thrown back and cackling as she did so, just as she always did. Soon, even her black outline on the sky was gone.   Alone in the park now, Applejack found herself sitting, wondering, waiting... thinking about what the bug Queen had said.   You don't NEED them, she said.   But...   >...Dang it...   Well, Luna was probably upset.   Maybe she should find her, just to know she wasn't sore at her.   Yeah, that's a good idea. Maybe just let her know it's okay...   >...And ta' tell her if she tries this again, Mah hoof is goin' right between those moons.   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   OOCO >SA "18" 'Celestia' ~~~   >Hey? Celly, have you seen...   "...S-Shiny."   'Heeeyyy... buddy...'   >Eight... eighteen...   "It's not what it looks like!"   >Well then, is it!? HUH!? WHAT IS IT!?   "...It's totally what it looks like."   >YOU MONSTER!   'Now, Shiny, I've known Eighteen just as long as you have, you can't be this surprised about this.'   >No! You shut up! I don't want to hear it! How could you!?   "S-Shiny I'm sorry!"   >I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAAAAAAAAAAAAaaallll....   "..."   '...'   "...So! You just need to reallocate tax form B-130 to include everything from 7-BAB, that way you save over six hundred papers a year!"   'Brilliant!'   >llllllLLLLLL... Okay I'm back.   "Oh, Shiny, I knew you'd come back to me!"   >Well, you know, can't leave my mares hanging. Both of them.   'Oh myyyy!'   "...But seriously, we're redoing her taxes to cut down on paper waste, take a seat."   >As you wish-   "Apupup! In my lap mister!"   'HEY!'   "I do the taxes, I get the Shiny in my lap!"   'MONSTER!'   >Ha ha!... no but seriously, I'm sitting over here, let's get to work.   "...I hate doing actual royalty work sometimes."   'Tell me about it...'   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   OOCO >AJ "Chrysalis" ~~~~   >...   "BANANALSAMMA-"   CRACK!   "SON OF A BITCH!"   >OH! WHAT!? WHAT!? WHAT'CHU GOT!? Ohhhhhh! Well, lookee there, perfect shot! Ah' gotch'a right between the eyes! Ah'm gettin' all the points with that one! ALL OF 'EM!   "OW! Fucking... OW! That really damn hurt!"   >What'cha gonna do about it, eh!? Ya' gonna do somethin'?! Cause Ah'm about to-   "APPPPPPLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEJJJJJJAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!"   >FUCKTHISFUCKTHATFUCKYOU-   CRASH!   "....did... did she just jump out the window? Aren't we thirty stories up?.........................."   THUMP!   "Oh, no, I was wrong.... thirty one."   >...ow...   "You still alive down there?"   >A-Ah' landed on a rock, but iffin' ya' get me out, Ah' think they'll be able ta' save mah' spine.   "Neat."   Walks off   >...Chrysalis?... CHRYSALIS?... YER' GETTIN' HELP, RIGHT?... CHRYSALIS AH' CAN SEE MAH DAMN... ah' hope that's just a chunk o' meat and not mah' liver... CHRYSALIS!?... shoot.   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   OOCO >SA "Applejack" 'Celestia' [Chrysalis] ~~~   >Sigh.   'We brought this on ourselves.'       "Stop."   [LEAVE!]   "Ah' ain't leavin'. Cadence told me ya' licked Shinin' Armor's horn yesterday, and yer' on probation."       'You are really not helping your case.'   >She was joking, Applejack. She was kidding. I can tell when my wife is kidding.   "Fer' example. 'Shiny, Ah'm in the mood'."   [HAH!]   >...   '...'   [...Did... did I just hah Applejack?]   "..."       "...Ah'm stayin'."   [COME ON!]   >Sorry, Chrysalis, you're just going to have to stay on that side of the sled.   [But I can't reach you with her in the way!]   "That might be the point, bugbutt."   'Can we just go? I want to slide down the mountain already!'   "...Wait a damn minute, ain't we just goin' ta' the bottom of the hill-"   >GOING OFF RAILS!   'WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!'   "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"   [... This is the opposite of the pony I wanted hugging me.]   "AH DON'T WANNA DIE! AH' DON"T WANNA DIIIEEEEEEEEE!"   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >Twilight ‘Spike’   Twilight sparkle stretched from a long night of research. Her faithful assistant foregoing sleep this evening to keep her supplied with whatever she might need and make notes as asked.   >Unnnnngh AH! That felt good. …Hey spike how about we take a break?   ‘Just let time finish this up….and done!’   >Great! Let’s go have a snack.   They move to a small table a little away.   >I actually got some of your favorite today!   She plopped a bowl full of green gems down in front of the dragon.   >EMERALDS!   ‘…oh.’   Twilight raised an eyebrow   >Oh? Just oh? …Did I mess it up? I could swear they were your favorite…did that change?   ‘No…no…’ She scrunched.   >Ok mister…what is it?   Spike sighed.   ‘They taste like…her.’   >Her?   ‘Chrysalis.’   Twilight blinked.   >…How do you know this?   ‘You remember nightmare night how she tricked me with the apples?’   >ohthankgoodness. I mean yes! Yes I do remember that!   ‘…riiiight…anyway. Like shiny said, the taste…lingers. To him, to anypony really, I can see it being a bit odd or even bad. Maybe an acquired taste, but to me…at first I just thought they were the best apples I had ever tasted. Then I had some of the apples later. they weren’t as good.’   >I see.   ‘Yeah. So it was pretty disconcerting knowing I liked how she tasted, but I couldn’t figure out just what she tasted like…until a few weeks ago, when I got hold of a nice big crunchy emerald. He was not kidding about the taste lingering.’   >Huh. So…you don’t like emeralds anymore?   He sighed, crossed his arms on the table and laid his head down on them.   ‘That’s the worst part. They’re still my favorite. What kind of cruel world makes her taste like my favorite food and AJ taste like…well apples? I don’t even know how Rarity tastes yet.’   >…   ‘Twi?’   >…   ‘Twilight? Something wrong?’   >Y-you know how Aj ‘tastes’? …Already?   ‘Uhhhhhhh….’   >I mean, I know you two were close and all but I didn’t think it’d gone quite so far. I mean I researched it but I figured…   ‘It was just a kiss! I swear, nothing else! …wait, what do you mean you researched it? What kind of research.’   Twilight blushed   >NEVERMIND!   ‘…Twilight this is not making me less unsettled’   >OH! HEY! LOOK AT THE TIME! BREAK’S OVER!   ‘T-Twi? Twilight?’   >UBupBup! Back to work mister!   ‘..Fine, just promise me you won’t tell aj or rarity. …They must never know.’   >WELL OBVIOUSLY! No way am I dealing with THAT fallout.   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   OOCO >SA "18" 'AJ' ~~~~~   >...   Scribble scribble scribble   "..."   Scribble scribble scribble   '...'   Scribble scribble scribble   >"'..."'   'Ya'll ever notice we do, like, ninety percent of-'   >"Yes."   'Just checkin'... what'dya think would happen if we quit?'   >...   "...You know that one joke where the pony rides the bomb on the way down?"   'Yeah?'   "That, but Shiny is riding me."   '...'   "No, you can't have any."   'Ignorin' how hypocritical that is, Ah' don't want it.'   "Good..."   '...'   "...Just on top of me, screaming YAHOO! And-"   >POINT TAKEN!   "Go on, say you wouldn't if the world was ending and Cadence wasn't around."   >........................   Scribble scribble scribble.   "That's what I thought."   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________