Title:           Thread 93: Stories 31-45
Author:          PrincessApplejack
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/uETty3hr
First Edit:      Sunday 31st of July 2016 07:00:16 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Sunday 31st of July 2016 07:00:16 PM CDT

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Spitfire
"Sunset"
~~~~~
 
>So... this is where we part.
 
A crossroads, of sorts. Metaphorically, and very literally. To the left, the hallway would eventually take them right to the office of the illustrious Princess Applejack.
 
To the right, the hallway would take them to where none other than Prince Shining Armor himself was helping with the cleanup, as per he was expected to.
 
Each one was about to be given a reveal, and they both knew it had to be now.
 
"I suppose it is."
 
>...You'll keep your word, right? I don't have to worry about you running off and-
 
"No.... no, I won't. Listen, I... I know you're risking a lot, just letting me talk to Applejack at all, and I know this probably... isn't going to go well for you."
 
>Understatement.
 
More bitter than if she had chewed ash, as expected.
 
"...I'm sorry I made you betray them, even if it was accidental."
 
>So long as you keep your word, at the very least the only damage will be done to me. That's fine... I can live with that.
 
"Are you sure?"
 
>Would you rather just be quiet altogether and never breath a word to anyone at all?
 
Silence. Just like she expected.
 
>Thought so.
 
"...You know it isn't right."
 
>Maybe not... no, I know it's not. I know what it's like to not get the recognition you deserve for what good you do, and only get focused on the bad. I get that... but Sunset, let's be clear here. I know what's right, and I know what I'm willing to do for them. One of those things is let them make their own choices, regardless of how much I disagree with it... they were willing to do a lot more for me. Especially those two.
 
"...I guess so...but things aren't going to change and get better if you just keep hiding it."
 
>Maybe, but things aren't going to get better if we just charge full in to break it down either. All that leaves is a lot of broken things and a big mess. You know that from being on the charging side.
 
"...and I guess you know that from being on the receiving end, don't you?"
 
>I do. They stuck by me when I needed it, both of them, and a Wonderbolt doesn't forget her loyalties.
 
"And you're sure it was her?"
 
There was something to that. An edge, quite sharp to it. It said more than just what was asked. Likewise, she found she wondered about it more than just what was said.
 
>...I'm sure it was him. That's good enough for me.
 
They turned away from each other, looking down the path that would lead them to what was to come, whatever that may be.
 
>If you try to hurt them...
 
"I won't."
 
>...Good.
 
"If they try to do to you what Dash did..."
 
>They won't.
 
"...Good."
 
Nothing more to be said.
 
Nothing more to be done.
 
They started walking.
 
And they weren't going to stop until they reached their end of this wild investigation. Whatever they found, is what they were going to have to live with.
 
And, for once, that was fine.
 
This couple of fuckups needed to do it right this time.
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Chrysalis
"42"
'18'
~~
 
"You're being delusional."
 
>And you're being insubordinate.
 
'What're we doing? We calling Chrysalis stupid? Always up for a round of that.'
 
>See this? That's you right now. That is the level you're at.
 
"Is that supposed to be insulting?"
 
>Drop and give me twenty.
 
"Okay!"
 
'Forty Two!'
 
>Shush, she's doing pushups.
 
'Ugh... hate that she listens to you.'
 
>Still the Queen, baby!
 
'...So why's she gently trying to tell you you're being stupid, and you're reacting just as stupid as you always do?'
 
>For your information, I'm just trying to gently tell her that, surprise surprise, one pony hoofing us a credit card doesn't mean that ponies aren't still fucking ponies.
 
'...I cannot even begin to unravel that train of logic.'
 
>See?
 
'That you think I'm taking your side is just further proof you need to be punched until the stupid comes out.'
 
>HAH! Like you could. No, seriously, take a shot.
 
'...'
 
>And thus, you're now as bad as the lizard.
 
'I am not!'
 
"Don't badmouth Spike. He's... not that bad. And he's not a lizard."
 
>He is Lizardo to me, and he shall be until the day he grows old and dies.
 
"They live for tens of thousands of years."
 
>And I'm immortal, soooo...
 
'...Are you? We're sure you don't age?'
 
>There was seriously a Queen who lived over three thousand years, looked as young as I do the whole time.
 
'...Really!?'
 
>Never met Great Granny Permiana?
 
'NO!'
 
>Huh.
 
"What was her power?"
 
>She could fly pretty fast.
 
"..."
'...'
 
>Hey, three thousand years ago, that was hella impressive.
 
"How did someone who lived three thousand years die?"
 
>Mom killed her.
 
'...'
"..."
 
>...What?
 
"WHY!?"
 
>Got in the way... what!? Why are you staring at me?
 
'I hate us sometimes.'
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
SO NC
>Dash
"Pinkie"
~~~~
 
>I'm going to kill them. I'm going to kill them, and eat them, and BURN THEM ALIVE!
 
"But why would you do that, Dashie, when you can fix it?"
 
>I swear if you try to give me some kind of emotional speech-
 
"Noooo, silly, drink this!"
 
>...What is it?
 
"Just drink it."
 
>...okay.
 
"Wow, didn't think you would-"
 
>SSSSZZZZZ!
 
"Drink distilled caffeine... are you... are you okay-"
 
SHOOM!
 
"...Dashie?"
 
SHOOM!
...
SHOOM!
 
"Is she... is she flying around the world!?"
 
SHOOM!
SHOOM!
SHOOM!
 
"DASHIE NO!"
 
SHOOM SHOOM SHOOM SHOOM SHOOM SHOOMSHOOMSHOOMSHOOMSHOOMSHOOMSHOOMSHOOMSHOOMSHOOMSHOOMSHOOMSHOOMSHOOMSHOOMSHOOMSHOOMSHOOMSHOOMSHOOM
 
~~~~~~~~
 
"...What... what the-"
 
>Fixed it.
 
"How... how did you-"
 
>Went back to yesterday, stopped them, got drunk and then slept under the table until right now, then waited for me to go back in time so I can come out.
 
"So then you're a day older than you should be?"
 
>...is... is that really what you're taking away from this?
 
"Yep!"
 
>Oh, Pinkie!
 
DUN NUH NUN NUH NUH!
 
"That's me!"
 
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
OOCO
>Applejack
“Winona”
~~~~
 
>Winona…?
 
“Yes, Great Apple?"
 
>Now… Ah’m not really expectin’ an answer tuh’ this ‘cause ya’ can’t talk an’ all but…
 
“But… what?”
 
>Why’re y’all shinin’ up that sword? Better question, where’d ya get it in the first place?
 
“Ah, yes. It’s a most interesting tale, Great Apple! If you’ll allow me, I’ll happily tell you this weapons journey into my possession! See, it started…”
 
>…
 
“Woof woof rrrroof! Arkarkarkark woof!”
 
>…Uh-huh.
 
“Bark bark snarrrrrrl woof! Arkity ark ark!”
 
>Righ’.
 
“Woofers woofington woof woof bark barketh bark!”
 
>Oho.
 
“…and after I buried the corpse of the Dread Knight, I took his weapon for my own as battle rules dictated. It’s a little heavy and sometimes the mouths of those slain like to appear in the blade but I’ve since tamed it!”
 
>…Welp. No clue what that was all ‘bout but y’all seem to really like it. Guess it can’t hurt tuh’ let ya keep it….
 
“Really? Thank you, Great Apple! Truly, you are a master worth serving!”
 
>Long as y’all smile, Winona, Ah’ smile.
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Dash
"Fleetfoot"
'Soarin'
~~~~~
 
>...Tried to pull a fast one on me, did you?
 
They had thought themselves prepared when they had entered into this office, uniforms in hoof as instructed. They knew what was coming, they knew what to expect, the knew it her well.
 
And yet, when they finally saw that pony behind the captains desk, seeing the look on her face, the rage and anger barely held back by puffing blue cheeks, the burning intensity in her eyes that bore into both of them in turn was simply put, something they could not have imagined or prepared for. They had never seen her like this, hopefully never would again.
 
Likely never would again.
 
>Ohhh, thought you were soooo smart, did you? Just gonna slip this right in while I'm getting ready for Hearth Warming, take me off guard and then wait till I'm gone to-
 
"We slipped it in a week ago-"
 
>SHUT UP!
 
Shut up, she did.
 
>You thought you could take me down and kick me out, eh? Turn the whole place against me and run me outta town like some cut rate bandit? Well, look how that worked out for you!
 
'We know, Dash, just-'
 
>SHUT UP, I SAID!
 
Shut up, he did.
 
>No, I'm going to sit here, and I'm going to tell you exactly why you're going to get it. Lying to me. Slipping in stuff under my nose. Going around behind my back. Roping in rookies to your dirty work. Trying to take my job and worst of all you nearly actually hurt somebody with this! Oh, I do not care one little lick of a dead dogs red rocket that you were 'watching out' for them in there, I don't care if you thought you were just gonna zoom in and keep everyone safe, doesn't matter! This could have actually hurt somebody!
 
'Chitania wasn't supposed to-'
 
>SHUT! UP! I! SAID!
 
Shut up, they both did.
 
That roar made sure it was the last time.
 
 
>I don't care what went wrong, because it's only your dumbass fault it went wrong in the first place! You made this bed and now you've got to sleep in it! But you know, somehow, that's not even the worst part, that's not event the thing that makes me feel just so utterly pissed off right now! Oh, trust me, that's a reason, ohhh believe me that's a reason, but that's not what's making my eyes want to pop right now, that's not even the thing that makes me really mad at you. Because you know what the worst part of this is? All of this? The absolute worst? We're supposed to be a team! We're supposed to be a unit, one cohesive whole working together! The Wonderbolts, Equestria's best fliers! The best of the best of the best, all working together to make it a safer place, right? But here you are, causing mass destruction and chaos! This is the worst, and that you did it wearing a Wonderbolt Uniform is the biggest insult I have ever heard in my life!
 
"Least we actually did it as a team."
 
Regret was not something the live-free-care-later pony known as Fleetfoot was used to. It was a new experience for her, but when realizing she had essentially drawn all the attention of the enraged, ranting thing directly to herself, she felt it.
 
>What. Was. That?
 
She clamped down, doing her best to stifle any retorts or backtalk. Partially out of wanting to maintain a hard, unmoved face, partially out of fear that the pegasus would actually just leap out of her seat and beat the living tar out of her.
 
Not like anyone would arrest her if she did. Fleetfoot was many things, but stupid enough to anger someone essentially proven untouchable was not one of them.
 
>...You know, Fleetfoot, out of all of them? This is especially dumb for you. For you, in particular, this is the dumbest thing ever. Now, I'm not saying it wouldn't be dumb for anyone else, it was dumb and disgusting all together, but for you, specifically? This is a new level of dumb. This right here...
 
 
She stood up slightly, just enough to be slightly above eye level with the mare. Just enough to look down on her.
 
>You, especially, have been a real pain in my ass this whole time. Cause you know, I can deal with the annoying personality, I can deal with the whole backtalk and insubordination and annoying tendency to be a smarmy little jackass every time something happens, but you know what? I've never felt like you were a real Wonderbolt, not once. You can go fast, but when push comes to shove you're always the first one ready to haul ass and bail. You're always the first one ready to cut your losses and run with everything you have, and then hide behind some stupid law that says I can't touch you. The worst part is? We both know you should've been fired a long time ago for that thing you 'totally didn't do'. That thing that wiped out the ranks like a fucking plague, but oh no, not you. You got clear because you personally never got caught taking it or selling it. You got to stay, being a Wonderbolt and all the respect and benefits that entails. You got to live it up, like...
 
The gray haired mare winced when she saw a stack of papers come out, ones she recognized right away without seeing a single letter. She knew of course that Dash would go looking when this came to light, but being stared in the face with what had been going on this past month was never going to be easy.
 
>...sixteen different exclusive parties in the home of the elite. Go to three different raves. Hosted TWENTY different races where gambling was allowed, and finally went through no less than four airshows when I was away from Canterlot.
 
"...Public image work?"
 
The worst part about the stark, deadpanned "Are you shitting me" look that Dash gave her was the fact that, for once, she had been one hundred percent sincere.
 
"It... it worked-"
 
The papers slamming down cut her off. She stopped.
 
>Now's your last chance to say something, in case you were wondering.
 
"...You win."
 
'Fleetfoot!'
 
She had never in her life heard more disgust or bile connecting with her name outside of someone trying to call out to her while drunk and spewing out the nights drinks, and the look the stallion gave her was nothing less that equal to that.
 
"You just... are better."
 
His jaw dropped, openly dropped open as wide as his eyes stretched clear. To see him was to see a stallion who had just seen his mother crawl out of the grave and tell him he was adopted.
 
Yet, Dash, for all her lack of being able to hide her emotions, was tellingly blank.
 
>...Really?
 
"Look, I... okay, look, you win, is that what you want me to say? You win, okay! You won! I tried to be as good as you but I just couldn't manage! And- and I know what you're thinking, okay? I know what you're thinking of doing right now, but just think about it for a second okay!? I... look, you won! Point driven home! No need to make an example, just put me on the test and check me off! I... fucking, I get it, I got it, and I'll-"
 
'FLEETFOOT!'
 
She spun on him, clear and open desperation in her eyes.
 
"No, shut up, we LOST Soarin! We... she didn't even do anything! She didn't even have to try, and our best got not just beaten, but turned back on us! Listen, we are done! Okay!? We're done, and she literally didn't even have to try! I'm not a super smart mare or anything, but that's a clear sign to me that we should just... give up, okay? So... so I know what you're thinking, Dash, I get it and I'm... okay, apologizing now would be stupid and insincere, but I get it. I just... just..."
 
She had to watch as Dash's face slowly melted from that blank telling slate, watched it ooze away into the same disgust that Soarin' had on his face.
 
>...This is the part where you cut your losses and make a break for it, again. Go ahead, I won't even yell at you this time.
 
She didn't. She stayed perfectly, absolutely still. Unmoving, barely blinking.
 
But shaking plenty.
 
"I'll... what do you want me to say!? Tell me what you want to hear right now and I'll say it!"
 
>...You're seriously going to try this?
 
"I'll... look! I'll even take over for Spitfire, okay!?"
 
>You're going to try this, after all the shit you pulled.
 
"Just think about what I can do before you-"
 
>You're fired.
 
Like a hammer dropped on her skull, her whole world shattered like glass.
 
"...R-Rainbow Dash-"
 
>I said, you're fired.
 
"Captain, listen, I can't... I can't just up and move to a whole other country like she did! This is my home! This is where my whole life is! Everyone! I can't just-"
 
>I. Said. You're. Fired.
 
"I can't just quit being a Wonderbolt, this is my whole everything! I can't-I can't- I won't even get a severance how am I supposed to live!? Just let me-"
 
>YOU'RE FIRRREED! GET OUT!
 
It exploded out of her, both the scream and her rage pouring out from her in waves, crushing Fleetfoot like a tsunami crashing into a pebble.
 
"...I can't go to her now, not when-"
 
>OUT!
 
That was it, she knew. No more pleading would work, nothing more left to be said.
 
"...Fuck you."
 
>OUT-
 
"NO! YOU SHUT UP! FUCK YOU AND FUCK THIS SHITTY ORGANIZATION AND FUCK THE PRINCESSES FOR SAVING YOUR STUPID INCOMPETENT ASS AND FUCK YOUR SHITTY LEADERSHIP AND FUCK YOUR STUPID FACE, YOU RAINBOW HAIRED BITCH! This whole outfit under you has been nothing but five nobodies doing nothing and helping nobody and being laughed at for being nothing, and I'm NOT SORRY I tried to kick out your stupid half cocked moronic ass to the curb so you could go play pretty super hero with your gaggle of enabling STUPID FRIENDS WHO PROP YOU UP SO NOBODY SEES YOU'RE AS EMPTY BRAINED AS A FUCKING SCARECROW AND NOBODY HAS TO TELL YOU THAT YOU SUCK!
 
She hurled the uniform at the other mare, uncaring even as it was effortlessly dodged. Raging like a maddened bull, the now-former bolt spun on her heels and stomped to the door, huffing breaths flowing to and from her in deep wisps.
 
 
"I did this because you turned the place I loved into a fucking ghost town for a fucking year till someone else managed to inspire ponies enough to come back, and I'm not sorry! Fine! Fucking fine, I'm fired! GOOD! THE WONDERBOLTS I ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT HAS BEEN DEAD FOR A YEAR ANYWAY! FUCK! YOOOOOU!"
 
The door slammed shut, and the loud, booming noises that had echoed through the room became nothing more than the soft sounds of someone stomping off in the hall outside, and silence within.
 
With her long standing nemesis at last slain like a knight to an evil dragon, or at least that's how Dash certainly felt right now, she could, finally, turn her attention back to Soarin.
 
The twitching, stock still Soarin'.
 
>...You know, I kind of wish I could just rant off a whole list of stuff you did that makes this easier. Right? That right there, that was cathartic. I've been waiting for a chance to do that for a long time. That? That was fine... this isn't.
 
She leaned forwards. Plain as all to see, she was still quite angry, but unlike with Fleetfoot, that wasn't all there was.
 
>What happened to you, Soarin'? You've had my back since I got here. You actually... you were a big help when this all started, and you stuck by me, and you did your very best to be a good Wonderbolt. You never once tried to run, you never backed down, and you never called me out, and you always did what you could to keep them safe, that's what you're supposed to do... You were a good damn Wonderbolt... what happened?
 
Silence. Plain, empty, vacant silence.
 
>Just... tell me why you did it, and maybe you won't be right behind her.
 
'...I thought we could do this better than you.'
 
Hearing him talk in such a strangely dead, defeated tone was something she never, ever wanted to hear.
 
The fact she had to look him in the eye when he said it was all the worse.
 
>We?
 
'Yeah, me and Fleetfoot. Not just her, not just me, this was both of us together, and we should be blamed the same. We agreed that after, you know, you were gone, we'd share Captain duties. We said 'this isn't about us being in charge, this is about making sure someone who's actually here is in charge'. I didn't care if nobody was 'captain' ever again... just so long as it wasn't you back there.'
 
>Wha- what are you talking about!? I've been here plenty! During the robots, and Chitania, and-
 
'You're here when it's convenient for you, and that's it. You don't come in most mornings, you don't oversee the training most days, and for fucks sake, we went to party after party and you never even knew. That's not just missing us, your team, that's missing all of Canterlot. So... me and Fleetfoot said 'we're going to do it instead'.... we lost. And you know what? I'm with Fleetfoot, I got my reality check. The underdog doesn't mean a thing when faced against someone with all the princesses and all the best fighters and all of Equestria backing you. We gave it our best, and the whole world spun against us for trying. I got my wakeup call, there's no chance I'd ever be able to beat you, and I'll never even consider trying again. If that's what you were going for, you won.'
 
Hearing stuff like that from Fleetfoot, that's one thing.
 
Hearing it from Soarin'... was like a punch in the gut. It sounded so wrong for him to be talking about her like that...
 
'You won, Rainbow Dash. We gave it our best shot, planned it out, thought it through, but you won... just like you always do.'
 
>...are... are you trying to make this my fault!?
 
There it was, back again. Rage, her dear old friend.
 
 
>Oh, oh fuck you! This isn't on me, this is on you doing something stupid and nearly getting ponies hurt! Not my fault who my friends are, and that doesn't make it okay for you to endanger lives getting to me! Hm!? Forget that!? Forget how they almost got crushed!? You're not the victim here! And... and forget you, I'm fine! I'm a good captain! Sure, I'm not the best at some parts yet, but at least I'm trying to get better! I'm working at it! I'm studying! I'm getting help when I need it! And if you had a problem with it you came to ME! Not go through some stupid plan to make me look bad like you were Chrysalis or something! You got a problem with it, you get your stallion parts in order and you come say it to my FACE, not to my back! This is your fault, and it's your fault because you decided to join up with her instead of your CAPTAIN! Because, Soarin', I'm Captain of the Wonderbolts! Your captain!
 
'...Not anymore.'
 
Softly, gently, he laid the uniform down on the desk. He did not throw it, he did not slam it, he put it down with all the care he felt that dear old friend deserved, and nothing less.
 
And that was far more to Dash than any amount of rage on his part could ever have managed.
 
>...I was going to give you another shot, you know. This... this may have been the worst thing you could do, but it was the first time, you've been pretty good up till now, great even... I wasn't going to... not like her, I was just going to-
 
'No thanks. That maid costume would look tacky on me.'
 
She winced, hissing through her teeth as she once more was forced to remember that look on the yellow face that even now stayed angry at her. She couldn't even remember a non-angry version, anymore.
 
>I... I wasn't going to do that.
 
He didn't seem to believe her, not in the least.
 
>...So, what, going to just go run off like Spitfire did? Go over to the Empire or something and run back to your REAL Captain? Ask Shining for a job like she did?
 
'No.'
 
 
Final, that was the only way to describe it. The only way to describe the emotions that were contained in two little letters.
 
'...Maybe if I hadn't let it get so bad for her, maybe if I had stuck up for her just once, or tried to... just told you to stop, just once, maybe. But there's no way.'
 
His shoulders slumped, deflated... defeated.
 
'I don't care if she ran up to me, right now, said all was forgiven and offered me a job... I'd tell her no. Nobody who would turn their back on her like I did deserves to be her team mate... not then, not ever again.'
 
He gave one last, longing look to the old uniform. Still a little worn, still a little torn, but good... he always took good care of it. That last look was enough, and he turned around, and began to walk away.
 
>What are you going to do, then?
 
'...I don't know. Being a Wonderbolt... that was my whole life, that was my everything. I'm not Soain' the pegasus, or the son, or anything but Soain' the Wonderbolt, that's all I ever was and all I ever wanted to be... but this... no.'
 
He looked back to her, hard and unforgiving.
 
'I turned my back on one friend when she needed me, and it's a mistake I'm going to regret for the rest of my life. I'm not doing it again. For better or worse, we Wonderbolts stick together... and last I checked, the last one of us is currently stomping down the hall, and it's killing her inside.'
 
>What about the rest of us, huh!? What about the rest of your team mates!?
 
'...They're not my team.'
 
He hung there in the door, never once looking away from her, never once turning his eyes from hers.
 
'Good luck, Captain Rainbow Dash. You've got a fresh start, all new Wonderbolts and none of the old guard to weigh you down. The era of... lets just say, the Neo Wonderbolts starts now. Maybe I was wrong, and you'll be the greatest captain in all the history before and hundreds of years after today. Maybe I'll just be the hoofnote in history, one failed grab for power among many. Maybe you'll be the very best... or the worst. I don't know, and I was wrong to think I needed to pretend I did. I tried talking, but I should have tried harder. I made suggestions, I should've made actions. I would've done a lot of things different if I knew what I was up against... but it doesn't matter. This is your time now, and I won't bore you with my crappy advice from someone who never succeeded. Keep it up and succeed for Equestria, if nothing else. I still love this place, all of it, and I'd never wish any thing bad on it because of my problems. So, win... for them. Because that's what you do.'
 
Slowly, he closed the door, never once looking away from her.
 
'You win, Rainbow Dash, you always do...'
 
Then he was gone.
 
She heard him walk away. He wasn't going to turn around, he wasn't going to come back. He was going to softly step down the same way Fleetfoot had gone, and he was going to keep going.
 
It should've been vindication, a win. She had beaten those who had tried to knock her down. She took on two senior Bolts who had come at her and came away with a smile. She won, finally got rid of the thorn in her side and finally made her pay for the thing she knew she did, even if she couldn't prove it.
 
She won.
 
>...Why couldn't it have just been Fleetfoot...
 
And that's why it felt so empty.
 
Fleetfoot she could explain, she could take pride in finally getting rid of her, she could come away with a smile and a win if it had just been her... but she took Soarin' down with her. She took him down into her little plan that she just knows she convinced or coerced or lied to in order to get him onboard with, and they both sunk. The only option would have been to save Fleetfoot.
 
>No. Fuck no.
 
No, she couldn't. This was her one chance, and if she let this slide she knew what it would tell the rookies. She couldn't look that lame to them, she wasn't a Fluttershy doormat. No. She had to. She had to get rid of her.
 
And she had offered! She had still offered to give him a shot. Would she have punished him? Yes, obviously, but she would've let him stay. He chose to walk out, not her.
 
>...But why'd it have to be him...
 
The one original bolt she still sort of looked up to, sort of admired, in a weird childish way. The last one who even sort of embodied why she even liked this whole thing in the first place. And worse, he said...
 
>...I'm a good Captain. I'm... fine, I'm not perfect, but I'm trying! I'm trying really, really hard!
 
She was. Every time she sat down, she put her best hoof forwards, every single time.
 
It was just... hard.
 
>I'm trying....
 
She was just talking to herself at this point, she knew. Nobody was around, nobody cared. Nobody, not even her old friend Gilda. Nobody.
 
Except...
 
>... I guess she has changed...
 
It wasn't much.
 
But it was something.
 
Soarin' was right, the old guard were gone, finally gone from the Wonderbolts. They were all that was left. The newbies, the rookies, the fresh meat.
 
Maybe... she could do it right this time, without any of the old weight to hold her back?
 
It wasn't much.
 
...But it was something.
 
>...If I ever get the chance to go back in time, I'm telling past me to just go become a dentist or something.
 
The age of the Neo Wonderbolts has begun.
 
And all she wanted to do was break something.
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Pinkie
"Chrysalis"
'Fluttershy'
~~~~~
 
>Dadadadada.... SEE!? It's not that hard!
 
"...He can never know..."
 
'Um, Pinkie... this is a misuse of my powers.'
 
>Pfft, misuse nothing, holes in the hooves are awesome!
 
"Right!?"
 
'...You guys ever feel disconnected from what's going on sometimes?'
 
>Constantly.
 
"HAH! No! I'm always involved somehow!"
 
'...'
 
"...What?"
 
'...'
 
"What!?'
 
'I don't want to say it...'
 
"...P-Pinkie, commence the juggling!"
 
>DADADADADA!
 
"...This isn't nearly as fun without the failure."
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Faust
"Craig"
'???'
 
>Now see, this? This right here? It makes me wonder why I married you.
 
"Other than the fact we were the only two alicorns prancing around at the time?"
 
>I could've made more.
 
"You did, with me. And if it weren't for this third wheel, I'd have tried for three a loooong time ago."
 
>Any chance you can just buck him so hard it takes long enough for you to buck me?
 
"...I'm sorry, what?"
 
>...buck is slang for sex now.
 
"That doesn't...that...but..."
 
>I did not think that up by the way.
 
"That sounds painful and I don't know wh-..."
 
>...honey?
 
"...uhh..."
 
>Where'd the meteor go?
 
The mighty star stallion, god of ponies, looked up to where the space rock he'd been artfully bouncing on his horn was now missing.
 
"Ohnoohnoohno!"
 
The two alicorns quickly looked down, finding an scorched hole in bottom of Faust's writing room.
 
>GET HIM! QUICK!
 
CRASH!
 
>...I meant go out a window or something, not the FLOOR!
 
"I'LL FIX IT LAAAterrrrr...!"
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Rarity
"Twilight"
'???'
~~~~
 
>Ugh! Cleanup, the worst part of any disaster!
 
".... I feel like there's something wrong with what you just said..."
 
>The worst part is that this is always the part that gets skipped over in my little movies. Nobody ever dwells on all the backbreaking labor that goes into fixing this!
 
"Right? Remember after the parasprites? Days and days of just... So much hard work."
 
>I'll bet it would've been skipped right over in a show.
 
"Well, sorry Rarity, but it's just how it is."
 
>You know what I wish? That life came with one of those... Oh what do you call it? That thing where they just fastforward through it all
 
"... A montage?"
 
>That! I wish we just-
 
'NO WAIT DON'T-'
 
>had a montage!... Why is the world spinning
 
~~~~~
 
Cut to Raity, looking at her pocket mirror and holding a board in a awkward way while Twilight prepares to hammer, and missed when Rarity lets it slip.
 
'I'M SORRY!'
 
~~~~~~~~
 
Cut to Rarity and Twilight painting, and after Twilight misses a stroke they begin giggling and attacking each other with paint.
 
'I'M SO SORRY!'
 
~~~~
 
Cut to them eating lunch on a steel beam hundreds of feet in the air. When Rarity tries to steal some, Twilight pushes her off.
 
They both laugh when it's revealed Rarity was flying.
 
'SORRRRY!'
 
~~~~~
 
Back to normal, the hallway is fixed. It's been two minutes.
 
>...what just happened?
 
'STUPID CHAOS POWERS!
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
OOCO
>Applejack
"???"
'???'
~~~~
 
>...Ya' know, maybe this ain't all so bad-
 
SLAMBAM!
 
>Should'a seen that... Twenty Nine?
 
"YOUUUUU!"
 
'APPLEJACK HELP!'
 
>...Ya'll better have a dang good reason yer' holdin' mah' sister like that, or ain't no royal gonna give ya' the time o' day after Ah' make ya' look like a cockroach on the floor of a tapdancing academy.
 
'Okay, so, this was TOTALLY an accident!'
 
>...Dang it.
 
"Thine foul kin of blood and soul art as empty headed as the stillest wind on a cold winters night!"
 
>Now, see, Ah'm back ta' wantin' ta' hurt ya', cause ain't no reason fer' ya' ta' be callin' her stupid. Ah'm sure she did somethin' dumb, but she's a little filly. Lot'sa fillies get up into crazy stuff-
 
"THINE MORONIC KIN TRIED TO WRESTLE A TRAIN!"
 
>...
 
'I did not!'
 
>Oh thank Faust, Ah' don't think-
 
'SUPLEX! That's a totally different thing then wrestling it!... I mean, it's a wrestling move, but this one's smarter and does more damage!'
 
>...Gad dang it, Applebloom...
 
"And now, as a result of thine kin's act of trying to GRAPPLE WITH A TRAIN, the city of Ponyville has sent me to request the required aid!"
 
>Ta'... teach kids about the laws of mass and forward momentum?
 
"TO PUT OUT THE FIRES THAT THE TRAIN MADE WHEN IT DERAILED MISSING THIS MORON!"
 
>...Ya' seriously waited till it was so close it had ta' DERAIL ta' prevent hittin' ya?
 
'We could have taken it, it was three on one! Sure, Scoots back has been hurting a bit, but we had to get our Cutie Mark somehow!'
 
>...So, dispatchin' the weather team?
 
"PLEASE! PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE!"
 
>Well, since ya' asked so nicely, Ah' guess Ah'll go oversee it personally ta'... make sure.
 
'Oh, good! Big Mac has been wondering when you'd visit again!'
 
>Now, sugar cube, this is official business, Ah' can't...
 
'...'
 
>...Really?
 
'Not like we used the side filled with fruit bats anyway.'
 
>Gad... dang it.
 
"Be warned, bring a net."
 
>Now that's just stupid, why would Ah' have ta'-
 
~~~~~~~~
 
 
>DANG IT! OW! OW! OWWWWW WHY! WHY WOULDN'T YA' TELL ME!?
 
"I told thee to bring a net!"
 
>YA' DIDN'T SAY THE TRAIN WAS FULL OF FRICKEN WILD ANIMALS!
 
'They're domesticated!'
 
>DOES THIS LOOK DOMESTICATED TO YOU!?
 
'...well, no, but they're mostly just scared because of all the fires, and the fact that their train came off the tracks. That would scare anyone.'
 
>HOW THE FUCK DO YA' DOMESTICATE A HONEY BADGER ANYWAY!?
 
"Very carefully."
 
>YA'LL COULD HELP!
 
"No thanks, thine creatures of fur and claw look like they bite."
 
>WHAT TIPPED YA' OFF!?
 
"The biting?"
 
>...
 
"...Ahem."
 
>Tell me they put out the fires!
 
"They put out the fires-"
 
>OH THANK FAUST-
 
"-on the south side, east west and north are next!"
 
>...
 
'Hang in there, sis! Big Mac's comin' ta' help after he gets done bangin' his head ta' the wall!'
 
>...So... this is what it feels like ta' want ta' drag the sun inta' the earth... Ah' understand, Tia... Ah' finally understand.... OW! FRICKEN' BADGER!
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Bloom
"Scoots"
'Sweetie'
-???-
 
>Hnnnngh!
 
"Come on!"
 
>Hnnnnnnnnnnnnnngh!
 
'You can do it!'
 
>HnnnnnNNNNnnnNNNNnnnGH! ...phew...did...did ah?
 
"Nope."
 
'Not even a bit.'
 
>Well shoot.
 
-?-
 
>Yeah, sorry, guess yer too heavy.
 
-...-
 
>Well ya ARE a train.
 
-...-
 
"Yeah, guess we aren't getting our wrestling cutie marks."
 
-...-
 
'Thanks though.'
 
-...scree.-
 
>See ya later, CentiTrain!
 
-Scree scree.-
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
 >Luna
"Nightguard"
~~~
 
>...Well?
 
"We have located the area of the breach."
 
>...annnd?
 
"And, sadly milady, they were thorough in cleaning up. They're experts in leaving behind nothing incriminating, it seems."
 
The corners of her lips, strangely, curled upwards, a telling smile on her face.
 
>And?
 
"...we're pretty good at finding things."
 
>I see... so you have a lead?
 
"That we do. We'll be investigating it shortly."
 
>I see... I see... good work.
 
"Do not say that until we succeed, Majesty."
 
>Very well... I will say it shortly.
 
The soldier in the darkness smiled, and then was gone.
 
>Soon... soooonnn...
 
Tellingly, her hoof trailed over a strange package, something heavy and powerful lying within.
 
>...Soon they shalt get what they deserve.
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
 >32
"88"
'???'
 
>...
 
"..."
 
>Well then. Guess we probably shouldn't have let 77 stay behind.
 
"I uh...think it may be better he isn't here to see this."
 
>Point.
 
"Might give him second thoughts."
 
>Double point...hope my office is alright...I gave my secretary the day off, right? I really hope I did.
 
"Maybe we should go find out?"
 
>Yeah, that's probably a good...
 
'...'
 
"..."
 
>...yes, hello?
 
Clink.
 
32 blinks as the scruffy janitor drops a sack of bits at his hooves.
 
>...and this is?
 
'Refund. Rates gone up.'
 
"What!?"
 
>What about my office!?
 
'Need more bits.'
 
>Are you kidding me!? You little ingrate, this is not how you treat customers!
 
'Sure it is.'
 
The janitor turned around, wrapping his tail around the small red wagon he was dragging behind him...
 
...a wagon which contained quite possibly the largest sack of bits 32 had ever seen.
 
'Only game in town.'
 
With a grin, the pegasus grabbed his push broom and resumed his work of sweeping away debris.
 
>...see, this? This is why I'm considering opening an embassy in Stalliongrad. Capitalism is a bitch.
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>SA
"Spitfire"
~~~~~
 
A few words no stallion ever wants to hear from a mare.
 
"We need to talk, it's important, is there somewhere we be alone?"
 
The only thing that managed to keep said stallion sane was remembering that, A, Spitfire was not his marefriend. B, he was not in high school anymore. C, they had not recently had teenage sex. And D, he was married.
 
His worries should probably be focused on the fact she looked like she had swallowed glass, he realized.
 
That said, he had his old room in the castle still vacant and unused from his time here, it was a short walk away, and it was familiar territory to both of them. He supposed if anywhere was good to have a private conversation, it was that.
 
It's not like she was going to laugh at his posters this time like she did the first time she walked into this room...
 
>While I do appreciate getting me off cleanup duty for a bit, if you wanted to trick me into unlocking this room so you can get your old stash out of here, there are easier ways to do it-
 
"Shining Armor..."
 
Shit, he thought internally. Full name.
 
This isn't going to be fun.
 
>...What happened?
 
With all the gusto of someone walking towards the firing range, the despondent and crushed looking mare began to speak.
 
"...It... it was like a month ago, after I started working for you, that I noticed something..."
 
So began a rather drawn out, lengthy explanation. She spared no details, not a thing no matter how inconsequential. Her suspicions, following Cadence and timing her, accidentally dropping the paper, being confronted by Sunset at the party, the followup, her investigation...
 
But most importantly, she told of how Sunset discovering everything, and it's all her fault...
 
"And that's when I came here."
 
And then she was done.
 
She offered no explanation to herself, offered no excuses or reasons why her actions could be justified or why she had been acting in such ways. No pleas for mercy or forgiveness, merely the facts stated before waiting, stock still, pristine and stiff as any soldier could be. Waiting on him, and his response.
 
Waiting for the hammer to drop. The screams, the anger directed at her for this. That she, of all ponies, would not trust them, the well deserved anger that she would go around behind the backs of him, of anyone in the world, when she had been given such graces. She was waiting for this, preparing as best she could. It would come, and every single word would be justified.
 
She was waiting for it all.
 
>....Ahhhh, shoot. Well, it is Sunset, I guess I can just ask her not to tell... she does kinda owe me one. Thanks for telling me.
 
...So just once she would have liked it if Shining Armor acted somewhat like she wanted, instead of just ruffling his hair and sitting down on his old bed.
 
That wasn't what she wanted.
 
"Are... are you serious? Shining, I-"
 
>Noticed that a pony couldn't be in two places at once, and despite being in a top ranking position was never let in on our little secret, yeah. Sorry, if I had just told you about that whole thing, it would've made sense. Honestly? I actually expected you to just notice. Everyone else put it together without us telling them. I mean... what did you think Eighteen did before now? I don't pay her that much for nothing.
 
She wasn't going to answer that, and they both knew why.
 
"I... Shining, after all the stuff you put up with from me, and after this whole... look, I only told you this so you'd know why I had to-"
 
>Spitfire.
 
Click went the switch, it seemed. Gone was the goofy smile of a placating friend, and in its stead it was like the light had been turned off, and a colder face took it's place.
 
>I know what you're about to say and... just stop. It's fine.
 
"It's not fine!"
 
 
Like a reverse, where her face had been so cold and dead before erupted like the flame of her namesake.
 
"It's not... how can you even say something like that!? I didn't trust you guys! I didn't trust YOU guys! Of... of anyone in the world, me, the worst Captain ever, actually thought YOU were untrustworthy!? I... I seriously thought you were being taken over again, with little evidence, and I went behind your back while you were off having fun and now... she was going to expose her, Shining! She was seriously going to go tell everyone! And it's all because I didn't understand what was going on..."
 
>So why didn't you just ask?
 
"How would that have helped? I thought you were being brainwashed... again! I thought..."
 
>...You thought that's why I let you back in?
 
Bam, like a sock to the gut, like a punch that made her spill her innards on the floor as it crushed her ribs like a grape, she curled inwards just a bit, and looked to the floor.
 
"...You mostly acted normal last time it happened, so I thought, you know, this was just... and because your airforce was the one weak link, and Chrysalis was always here, and the changelings moved over, then the attack... I thought... I thought that..."
 
She turned away, completely turning her back on him, unable to look at him for a second longer out of disgust for herself and her actions. Just looking to him reminded her of every terrible, shameful thought she had in her head so shortly ago, and she could not bear it.
 
>That you really weren't forgiven, and that it was just a plot to use a former Wonderbolt to fix a gap in my army...
 
Glad he said it, she thought. She never would have had the strength to.
 
She was even more glad he was the one who made the first move, she very much doubted she ever could.
 
For, just like before, she doubted she would have the strength to say anything when a pair of hooves reached over, grabbed her by the shoulders, and brought her back to his chest.
 
"...I'm sorry..."
 
>Don't be. It's... not as uncommon as you think.
 
"I know it was you now."
 
>That it was, it was in fact me who you punched in the face with a sonic boom.
 
"I... I was pretty stupid."
 
>Trust me, it was mutual.
 
"I was stupider..."
 
>Please don't make a contest of this, I'm afraid I'll win somehow...
 
"...But she's in trouble now, because of me..."
 
That, finally, Shining Armor couldn't, and knew he shouldn't, argue with.
 
>Yeaahh, this is kinda bad... Sunset? Really?
 
"She... she's like, changeling powered, right? I figured if there was something on Cadence, she was the best one who could... you know, break the spell. Help you... and she seemed like she just wanted to help at first. She gave this whole speech about how it was just making sure, and that Cadence might be overworking herself best case scenario..."
 
>I understand I mean, I guess you'd have a reason to think she was telling the truth... she was seriously going to expose Cadence? Starting to think that she uh... might not be trustworthy. Probably should've asked for more qualifiers than Celestia's old student... But you did it because you were afraid for her, you saw her possibly in danger of being taken over or overworked, your heart was in the right place.
 
"It always is... that doesn't make it any better."
 
He sighed, idly scratching her mane with his chin.
 
>Know that feeling... still though, need to have a talk with her about that, can't have her telling...
 
He felt it, even if he couldn't see it. She had obviously been trying to keep it hidden, but some things one just can't hide.
 
For instance, a telling tensing of the body is something none can hide.
 
>...There something wrong?
 
"I... look, I shouldn't say anything. I've already done enough."
 
>Spitfire...
 
"It's not my business, okay?"
 
>...Go ahead.
 
"I don't..."
 
>I know you want to ask, go ahead.
 
"...it's not fair that she doesn't get the recognition she deserves."
 
 
Like air being let out of a cushion, his cheeks puffed up and ever so slowly deflated. Soon, slumped against her back, his chin mashing down the fiery mane atop her head.
 
>... I know.
 
She tensed again, obviously wishing to press on but unsure if she should.
 
He picked up the slack from there.
 
>Listen, I've been saying to Eighteen she can just tell anyone for I don't even know how long, trust me when I say you're not saying anything I haven't before to her. But... she and Cadence makes a good argument.
 
"...oh?"
 
>Spitfire... the Empire isn't like Canterlot, or Stalliongrad, or Manehatten or Cloudsdale or anyplace else... we need them to be happy, and to feel safe. Fear erodes stability in them, it makes them dull and lifeless, and they can't produce the feeling of love as good as they should. They feel safe and happy because they know their royals are looking out for them and can handle anything. Cadence is right, if everyone just suddenly knew that so much of what they rely on came from someone else, someone who invaded Canterlot once... they might be a little more suspicious, they might... not love so much. And then we're in trouble. If the Heart can't burn like it should, then it's up to Cadence.... and we've clocked her at lasting only about three days, maximum, to hold back the storm. After that, well...
 
"...but it's still not right."
 
>No, it's not. And like I said I agree. I kind of think it'd be fine. Sure, they'd freak out for a bit, but maybe... I dunno, I'm probably just an optimist. Always trying to see the best in every pony... or not a pony. I like to think they'd be fine, maybe after a bit at the very worst. But Eighteen thinks they won't, and Cadence thinks they won't, and well, it's their choice, not mine. I've just got to support them.
 
Once more, for the thousandth time in this conversation it felt like, she looked to the door, stared at it, and wondered.
 
"...I still think that maybe it would be best if I left-"
 
>Spitfire.
 
There it was again. Not Shining Armor, the Pony... Shining Armor.
 
The Prince.
 
>I understand why you searched like you did, I understand why you felt like you did, trust me, considering it's changelings I know full well how someone can feel about them and think of them... trust me, I know. But that you stuck with us and protected us after, even if you felt like she was right... that's what I care about. I don't want you to leave. If you do, I can't stop you. But... I don't want you to.
 
To punctuate it, he squeezed her a little harder... and that was it.
 
She stopped looking to the door, and thought of it no more.
 
"...She's going to tell Applejack. Maybe... maybe Celestia too, depending. I didn't stop her. I couldn't..."
 
>No worries, Applejack knows. She's known about it as long as I have. Same with Celestia.
 
"...o-oh?"
 
>Yep.
 
"So... so Applejack knows that she's been helping Dash out with the Wonderbolt forms?"
 
>Yep, known about it since it started. Think it was her idea, actually. Eighteen helps out with a lot of stuff... Spitfire?
 
She had tensed up, just a bit. The sound of teeth grinding was just barely audible, if one really listened. The heartbeat against his chest sped up, ever so slightly.
 
For a long, tense moment, there was silence, and a strange heat to the room.
 
Then, just like if a window had been cracked open, it began to bleed away.
 
>...Spitfire?
 
"It's... fine."
 
>Did you want Eighteen to help you too-
 
"NO!"
 
>...
 
"No... no, I.... I need to handle this myself."
 
>So, I take it that means you're staying on?
 
She didn't answer. Just leaned back, and was tense no more.
 
>Good to hear. Believe you me, I need someone like you on my airforce.
 
"They're not that..."
 
She couldn't see his look, but she felt it.
 
"Point taken. But they're getting better, slowly but surely..."
 
>You know, Dash wanted to do a meetup with Wonderbolts and the Empire Airforce.
 
"...I uh... I don't think that's wise."
 
>Heh... maybe someday.
 
 
Gently, her yellow hoof reached up, snaking around the side of his face and pulling him against her back once more.
 
"You're a good guy, Shiny... sorry I couldn't see that in time."
 
>You've got a great heart, Spitfire... sorry you didn't get a chance to prove it here.
 
"I did get a chance... I just blew it."
 
>Well... don't blow this one. I missed talking to you.
 
"...I won't."
 
>...
 
"...I missed this too."
 
They both sighed, content.
 
They knew the conversation was over, everything that needed to be said was said, everything that needed to be addressed was addressed. They could leave, at any moment.
 
But, not just yet. Something, be it nostalgia or tiredness, kept them in this old room. The old room of a rookie trying to make his way to the guard, and a rising star headed to the Captain position of Equestria's famous fliers. The room they had been in a thousand times before. Relaxed in, laughed in... lived in. A lot of things had changed since the old days. So many things had changed.
 
At last... something had changed back to what it should have been.
 
Back to where it belonged, at last.
 
"...so about that giant bed-"
 
>I swear to Faust there's a sane explanation for that, and it's not what you're thinking.
 
"Really, I was just a little surprised I didn't even get a subtle hint-'
 
>I SWEAR there's a sane explanation for that and it's not that.
 
"Heh...I believe you."
 
And she did.
 
He knew she did.
 
Friends trusted friends, after all...
 
And they always would.
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
on-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cardboard Pinkie"
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter and I face myself!
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpzbr3vCBjw
"I can be a better Pinkie, you know? I've got the wings and horn now."
 
>They don't make the mare.
 
"...Neither of our powers work here."
 
>That'sWhyJeetKunDoe!
Throws a left punch, but her hoof gets caught, so she throws a right punch.
 
"I can too!"
Deflects Pinkie's punch with her left and follows up with her own punch. Pinkie moves her head to the side and goes for another punch. They booth lock each other's hooves.
 
>Hmph.
Punch punch lock. Punch block punch punch lock.
 
"My turn~"
She rams her horn at Pinkie's face.
 
>Ah!
Her eye gets nicked, but Pinkie gets a kick in, breaking free.
>Really? It's stick a cupcake in your eye!
 
"Well, I don't have any cupcakes."
Pinkie moves forward, feints a right punch, and smacks CPink in the face.
*WHOOPSH*
"..."
She sweeps. Pinkie hops, but gets caught by a hook kick slaming down and gets kicked repeatedly. Pinkie grabs her hoof and spins her to the ground. Pinkie rapidly delivers her own punches.
*WAPWAPWAPWAP*
CPink kicks her off. Her nose bleeding.
 
>Ha, in your face!
 
"We have the same face."
 
>W-well mine is still Pink!
 
"So what? You're better because I'm black?"
She chops and chops missing.
*WHOOSH WHOOSH*
 
>No, it's because I'm PINK!
Slides in delivering 2 uppercuts.
>WATA! WATA!
CPink falls down. Pinkie jumps for a stomp, but gets hit by a flying uppercut to the chin.
"SHORYUKEN!"
Pinkie tumbles.
"Is this what we're going to do now? We're an equal match."
 
>Just wanted to weaken you enough to do this!
Throws a ball at her. Bounces off her head and a beam shrinks her and pulls her into the ball. It falls to the ground twitching a little until a ding is heard and shrinks.
>Whew...smells like lawsuit.
Picks it up. Puts salt on it and eats it.
*GULP*
Her eye heals.
>FATALITY! PINKIE WINS!
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
OMAKE!
>Applejack
"Chrysalis"
'???'
[???]
~???~
~~~
 
>...And this is... fer' charity, yer' sayin'?
 
"Probably."
 
>Didn't ya'll organize this event?
 
"I organized parts, yes."
 
>...is... is it the parts where we wear the funny masks and costumes? Was it that part and nothin' else?
 
"...HIT IT!"
 
'LUCHAAAAAAAAAAAA!'
 
>GAH!
 
"Chrysalis, Crushing, CRYSTALLLLLL!"
 
BLAM!
 
>NOBODY IS GONNA UNDERSTAND THIS REFERENCE!
 
"Fuck you, it's a part of history! FLASH history! So it's important to us!"
 
>...what!? The buck does this gotta do with Twilight's human fetish?
 
"THINK FAST!"
 
>OOF!
 
[YOU CAN DOO IIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTT! DOOOOO ITTTTTT!]
 
>The fuck is that!?
 
"Celebrity endorsement, just run with it. "
 
>Then what's with the bag sayin' he ain't famous no more?
 
"...CHRYSALIS COMPACTOR!"
 
CRUNCH!
 
>FUCK! THE FUCK DOES THIS HAVE TA' DO WITH CHARITY!?
 
"Fuck if I know, BUGGY BLASTER!"
 
ZAP!
 
>THAT'S JUST FUCKIN' LASERS!
 
"So then dodge them!"
 
>AH' CAN'T MOVE IN THIS DAMN SUIT! It's pinchin' up mah rear worse than a thong made fer' Applebloom!
 
"...I can see that, shaking it in front of my face is not needed."
 
~AJ AJ she's our mare, fuck up that bug thing without a care!~
 
>...
 
"Hey, you needed cheerleaders."
 
>...Ya'll explain why ya' picked mah' guard right now. If this is a fetish thing-
 
"HAH! No, stallions in cheerleader outfits isn't something I'm into. However, convincing your guard you ordered this? TOTALLY gets me going."
 
>...Oh, that's it.
 
"Huh?"
 
>ATOMIC! APPPPLLLEEEE! BUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
 
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
 
>....Ah' did it! HA! Who's laughin' now... oh, shit.
 
"*HACK! WHEEZE BLOODGURLGE*...Way to go, Appleass."
 
>AH' DIDN'T MEAN TA'!
 
"What did you think "Atomic" meant?"
 
>FUCK THIS SHOW FER' BEIN' SO LITERAL!
 
"..."
 
>...Fine, Ah watched a little.
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________