Title: Thread 87: Stories 1-15 Author: PrincessApplejack Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/U8sYR1aB First Edit: Sunday 10th of July 2016 06:32:21 PM CDT Last Edit: Last edit on: Sunday 10th of July 2016 06:40:18 PM CDT _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   "Kind Guard 1" 'Kind Guard 2' "'Steam Gauge"' ---   "Whoa... did you feel that?"   'Feel what?'   "What breeze... shit, like someone stepped on your grave, kinda deal.."   'Huh... is that what that was?'   "It's happening, dude. I don't know what, but it will..."   'Yeah... feel like we'll be part of the bigger picture soon?'   "Maybe... but I don't know why... I feel like..."   'Yeah?'   "Like there's... an extra thing."   '...hm.'   "..." '...'   "'...Oh hey you guys w--"'   "..." '...'   "'...Why are you staring at me like that?"'   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >SA "Chrysalis" ~~~   >...   "...what?"   >That was a really nice thing you did.   "Yeah, well, me and Twi were working on this for other stuff, so I figured... eh."   >I mean it, it probably means the world to Applejack that she could show Applebloom her parents.   "...Meh."   >Meh? Really?   "...Meh."   >...Meh it is, then.   "I notice she didn't get me a present, what kind of bullshit is this?"   >Meh.   "Cruel. Just. Cruel."   >Heh...   "...Speaking ooofff, where's my present from you?"   >Back at the castle, you'll all get it later.   "You'll all? I have to share? BULLSHIT!"   >Gotta share if you want it.   "...Meh... I guess I could live with some sharing."   >Good to hear.   "..."   >...Happy Hearth Warming, Chrysalis.   "...Happy whatever to you too."   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________       _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >Cadence "Chrysalis" ~~~~   >...   "...What?'   >...   "Why are you looking at me like that?"   >...   "Fine, go ahead, look, I don't mind you admiring me."   >...   "You like what you see? Ehhh?..."   >...   "Okay, too long, we're officially in 'unsettling' territory, especially with the way you keep squinting and tilting your head."   >...   "....This a stare-off? You wanna go!? FINE! LET'S DO THIS!"   >..   "...nngg...'   >....   "..."   >...   "..."   >...Ehhh, no.   "HAH! I WIN! I SO WIN!"   >We both win, Chrysalis, we both win.   "NOPE! ME!"   >...We both win.     _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   NC >Chrysalis "Pinkie" ~~~~~   >...Wait, are those my changelings being used as packmules!?   "OH FUCK SHE SAW THEM! EVERYONE CHEESE IT!"   *ZOOM!*   >WAIT! I JUST WANTED TO SAY I THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEAAAAA!   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   NC '???' ~~~   'Did someone mention-'   "NO, CHEESY! NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU!"   '...This doesn't count for your prediction.'   "It does so! NC stuff counts!"   'But this is so token, where's your sense of shame!?'   "I HAVE NO SHAME IN NC! ASK SHINY!"   '....Wow.'   "Don't tell NC daddy, he'll NC kill Shiny, and then all that nothing would just keep happening, NON-CANONICALLY!"   'THE HORROR!'   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   Non-Canon >Pinkie "Scootaloo" ~~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter and writers pass out mid-writing! Now for our main guest...SCOOTALOO!!!   "Hi Pinkie Pie."   >Is school out?   "Oh yeah, totally. Hearth's Warming is going to be awesome. I guess you wouldn't know the school schedule anymore since you stopped ringing the bell."   >That-'s right. I used to ring the bell there for 5 minutes. Flashback https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mytqLcvrTu0 >Good times.   "...aren't you going to end the show now?"   >Eh, this one is going to be a little longer. I want to give you a little company just in case. Your house seems a little empty.   "You've been to my house?"   >I even know where you sleep!   "...I'm getting stranger danger vibes."   >That came out differently in my head, but relax. Luna watches you sleep, so she probably knows too.   "...I'm leaving now."   >Wait, we were going to sing Silver Bells and- Scootaloo wakes up. She hears a knock on her door and goes to answer it.   "...Rainbow Dash?"   'Hey squirt. Figured I'd drop by and give you my gift.'   "Best Hearth's Warming ever!"   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >Applejack "Celestia" ~~~~   "My oh my... seems we missed quite a lot."   >Ah' don't wanna talk about it. Ah' most just wanna strangle about it.   "..."   >Ya' don't need ta' scooch back.   "Applejack, I have learned but three things in my long, long, long life. One, nothing is a certainty. Two, Shiny looks DAMN good in a speedo, and three, if giving the opportunity to make me hurt, you will take it. I am not taking any chances."   >...Fair enough.   "...Wait a minute-"   >Finally noticed Luna ain't here?   "..."   >...   "..."   >...gonna take that as a no.   "See? Told you so."   >Yer' own dang fault, ya' neglectful ninny.   "Well, I was actually going to ask how Sunset fared in this, but you've clearly taken the wind from my sails."   >...She ain't with you?   "What? Oh no, she's been avoiding me deliberately, remember? She wasn't with me today, no matter how many guards I sent to invite her."   >...ah...   "...Wasn't with you either?"   >...   "...I'm starting to think we have serious problems."   >It's becomin' pretty apparent, yeah.   "...So-"   She didn't answer verbally.   Flying out the door, literally, seemed to say it all.   "As I expected."   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >Luna "29" 'MM' [Zecora] {Trixie} ~~~~~   >Alright, students! Show thine teacher what thou hath learned!   "...Tis just a bit of runes."   >NAY! These runes are of the most important to your training, thou must get them down to perfection! If thou cannot mark thyself with these, thou shalt never truly understand!   'Teacher? Are you sure these are supposed to do something? I don't feel any different, and I'm pretty sure I got it right.'   >Thou art a little short with the arc here, make it longer... much longer!       >Of course we would hold knowledge even thou did not, we are the princess of the night!   {TEACHER! Look upon Trixie's, and BEHOLD!}   >...Hrmmm... the form is rather nice, the shape is the perfect blend of loose and hardness, the edge is as flared as it should be... yes! This is perfect!   {...But Teacher, what about all the other intersecting lines? You're only focusing on the one in the middle.}   >Tis the most important part.   "Aaaand... there! Mine mark is just as good, if not better, than hers!"   'Mines okay.'   [...Hrmmm...]   >Excellent! Now we can begin!   "Oh, good... so what do they do?"   >Glow.   "...Why would that-"   Her horn lit up, and indeed their markings all did glow.... a certain 'part' of said markings, anyway.   "..." '...' [...] {...Is this a-}   >WE GOT THEEE GOOD! YOU FOOOLLLSSSS! AHHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH!   "...Tis good mine teacher has a sense of humor, I suppose..."   >AHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHA!   'Never took her for the type to trick you into drawing a dick on yourself though.'   {Yeah, this is new.}   >AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!   [...Reveeeennngggeeee...]   >AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA     _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >Pinkie "Dash" ~~~   >Awwwww...   "What's wrong? Are you, of all ponies, really not having fun today?"   >No, it's just... we got to do something really cool again! Who knows how long it'll be till that happens again!   "...Did me and you bodyswap when I wasn't looking? Because if so, there are some really dangerous things I've always wanted to do."   >Noooo, it's just... I miss having these happen sometimes! It's fun!   "...Again, we're not each other right now, are we?"   >With how these names get mixed up, you never know.   "What?   >Nothing...   "...We're still awesome."   >Yep.   "And hey, just because we're not doing it with everyone doesn't mean we can't DO it."   >...You're right! We should totally have off-to-the-side adventures! Even if they won't matter.   "Pfft, who cares what 'matters'?"   >DAMN STRAIGHT!   "..."   >...Can we do one now?   "In the middle of a party, Pinkie."   >Right, right... damn you cutie-booty....     _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >Sunset "Dollestia" '???' ~~~~~   >...   "...Are you ready yet?"   >...   "...Okay... I'll wait..."   >...   "...How about now?"   >...   "...It's just... it's been a long time, they might run out of time. You should..."   >...   "...Okay.... I'll just... keep waiting..."   >...   "...Do you hear that?"   >...   "No, really, do you hear that sound? It's... what is-"   There has long since been a myth, Applejack felt, that when dealing with someone moping about you needed to just leave them be. Needed to let them just sit and wallow in it a bit and then when they were ready you helped them out. It's what had been insisted to her an awful lot by a great many here lately.   But, as Applejack had discovered, sitting around and waiting for someone to finally get it in their head that you wanted them around tended to be a very long, very arduous process, and even then it wasn't very certain.   However, she had found there was one way to get the message across a lot faster. Albeit one with much higher risks than the others of accidentally causing them to hate you, but still.   This, she felt, was effective.   And it started with a SLAM!   >GAH!... Applejack?... Okay, listen, I know you want to-   'Nope.'   Nope indeed. No talking, no 'here's my reasons here's yours lets go over this'. None of that.   All she cared about was stomping over to her before she could react, sinking her teeth into that multicolored tail, and turning on her heels.   >Wait, what are you GAH! THUMP! >APPLEJACK! SKID! >APPLEJACK STOP- THUCK! >JUST BECAUSE I CAN'T- BAM! >-FEEL PAIN DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T- WHACK >-NOTICE WHEN YOU'RE DRAGGING ME INTO STUFF... APPLEJAHRK!... AHHHHH!   The ground left them both with a beat of unsteady wings, and those in Canterlot not currently in with their loved ones were greeted with a peculiar sight this Hearth's Warming.   The sight of a red and yellow streaked pony dangling by her tail as their newest princess took to the skies, off to parts unknown.   >LEMMEDOWNLEMMEDOWNOHFUCKTHISISSOHIGHIDON'TEVENKNOWIFMYTAILWILLSTAYONOHFUCKOHFUCKIGETTHEPOINTFORTHELOVEOFCELESTIAHEELLLPPP!   None of the guards moved to do so.   This... probably made sense.   "...I knew waiting would pay off!"   The talking doll besides them certainly seemed to think so.   >OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK   It continued mostly like that as her slow and steady pace continued. She was not a fast flier, or a strong flier, but she was straight and forwards, if nothing else.   She still only had one problem.   >WHATAREYOUDOINGGROUNDGROUNDGROUNDGROUND-OWOOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOOOWWWWWW   She... needed to work on her landings.   '...Whoops.'   Sunset would have vocalized something about that 'whoops' if her mouth hadn't currently been stuffed full of snow, gravel and what she prayed was dirt.   '...meh.'   Giving little regards to the incoherent muffled scream of rage, she just kept right on dragging her, complete with THUCKTHUCKTHUCK for every step up the porch.   With a final SLAM the door to her old home flung open, and she tossed the pony forwards.   'Hey everyone! Sunset made it!'   There was cheers of greetings, and a few questions as to why she looked like she had been used as a road BY said road come to life.   She, for her part, just tried to put on a fake smile, belied a bit by the rocks she had to spit out.   >...R-really? You seriously just dragged me to a party?   'Yep.'   >You do realize I'm probably making everyone uncomfortable because I'm-   'Nope.'   >..I'm just going to-   'Nope.'   >...fine.   'Good girl. Here's yer' punch, there's yer' friends, git.'   >...   'AH SAID GIT!'   With a firm smack on the rump, she was ushered into the crowd.   Well, she conceded, she could stay for a minute and then just sneak out when Applejack wasn't looking.   ...Just for a minute...   '...Ain't puttin' up with that crud today.'   A sigh of relief, a bit of spiked punch for herself, and, at last...   Her party was ready.   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   NC >??? "???" '???' ~~~~~   >...honey? Are you having... troubles again?   "I'm so sorry..."   >No no, it's okay, I know it's not your fault.   "I just feel like so much less of a stallion..."   >Maybe we should go see the doctor?   "Oh yeah, that's what every guy wants to say, 'hey doc, I need boner pills!'"   >That's not what I meant!   "I know, it's just... frustrating."   >...Do you think we should-   BLAM!   'HERE!'   CHUCK!   'Take two 'bout ten minutes a'fore ya' start, which gives ya' plenty o' time fer' some RECIPROCALS YA' SELFISH TWIT! Got it? Good? DONE!'   SLAM!   >...   "...O-ohkaayyyy..."   >...She is right you know, about the second thing.   "REALLY, CUP!?"   >I'm just saying! No need to get MAD, Carrot!   "...There's no chance the twins are going to imprint on this, right?"   >Lord I hope not.   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >Sunset "32"   "Ah, Ms. Shimmer, a pleasure to see you."   >Oh, hello 32, uh why are you carrying around a wagon?   "Hearthswarming cards. They're mostly for my relatives but considering what we both recently went through thanks to my mother I figured I'd give you one as well. So here."   >Oh thank you I-...uhm...why is most of this card scribbled out with 'Happy Hearthswarming' written over it?   "Because I need to beat the stuffing out of a greeting card salesman."   >Hang on I can kind of make this out-   "Please don't."   >'It'd be heartless to leave you out of my Hearthswarming'?   "..."   >...curbstomp him, please?   "Will do that after the piledriver."   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >Dash "Spitfire" ~~~~   >...Oh, uh.. hi, Spitfire.   "Hello, Dash."   >Hi... didn't know you were going to be here.   "Shining Armor invited me. Said it was going to be fun."   >...   "Whee."   >Soooo... how you been doing?   "..."   >Is that good?   "I'm worried to tell you out of fear you'll somehow manage to wreck THIS life too."   >...Ah.   "You know, like my old one."   >I get it.   "Which you made sure was destroyed."   >Got it.   "And then salted the earth."   >You know, it's your own fault-   "Oh yeah, it actually was my fault I stuck around when you put me in a maid outfit and made me do laundry with my tongue, because that's a reasonable punishment to neglect and not at all abuse of power on your end for months upon months, completely unchallenged because, of course, you're best friends with everyone that such a thing could actually be challenged TO. It IS my fault I stuck around that long, hoping things would change."   >...   "...They didn't!"   >...Happy Hearth Warming to you too.   "You know what? Actually? Yeah, it has been, my new crew have been doing great, and Two loves my antics. Met Two? She's adorable."   >We've been introduced.   "Yep. This IS a Happy Hearth Warming... well, almost, still one thing I need to fix."   >What's that?   Without answering, Spitfire walked away.   >...Touche, Spitfire... Touche.     _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >Ignus "Siegfried" 'Watchdog' -Vekir- ~Anton~   "Okay, explain this to me."   >Explain what, exactly, m'boy?   "Why are we doing this?"   >Because your mother and aunt-and to a lesser extent, sister-terrify me to my core. Also you're good with the common folk.   "I don't think telling the ex-commoners that they're still considered commoners is a good idea."   >Yes, but its their idea so aren't going to say bugger all. Be thankful they saw fit to let us have guards.   "Oh come on, they don't hate us enough to throw us into the lion's den."   >...   "...well Aunty doesn't hate me enough to do that, surely."   >Eh, one out of three ain't so bad.   "But that doesn't explain him."   'Who? Me?'   "Yeah, why are you coming along?"   'I go where she goes?'   "And that's another thing, why is the travel-sized mutant coming with us?"   -Vekir's duty is to be best ambassador she can be. Vekir cannot ambassadate if the Af Grifflefiffles are not the Catbirds in charge, there it is for that Vekir must help the Catbirds remain the King Catbirds, yes?-   "...yeah, yeah you got it."   >Honestly, there's a pony under there?   "I know, it surprised me too."   >Eh, marginally more tolerable than most ponies. So, any more questions?   "Just one...why are we pretending the big robo-dog doesn't have Anton hidden behind his back?"   ~Hey! I mean...uhm...achoo.~   >Because, m'boy, just as it is the duty of sisters to torment their younger brothers until the end of time, it is the duty of the younger brothers to get revenge by spoiling their nephews rotten with high adventure.   "You never did that for me or Zeph!"   >Zeph's a tosspot, and I tried when you were three when I fought those beasts terrorizing the Peregrine Forest, but your mother didn't go for it.   "She never lets me do anything fun."   >Besides now.   "...besides now."   ~...my family's weird.~   'I noticed, little guy, I noticed.'   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________