Title:           Thread 76: Stories 31-45
Author:          PrincessApplejack
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/PnjaTmum
First Edit:      Tuesday 12th of May 2015 07:47:59 AM CDT
Last Edit:       Tuesday 12th of May 2015 07:47:59 AM CDT

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
Canon Questionable
>Pinkie
"Luna"
~~~~
>Hi Princess Luna!
 
"Isn't this usually the time when thou would do the...you know what?"
 
>Yeah, it is, but I was hoping if you could give me a dream ride to my mother's.
 
"...what's wrong with how you normally do it."
 
>Nothing, I just wanted to give you some spotlight and hang out with you.
 
"Doesn't thou have something else to do?"
 
>As a Ponk, I'm quite active.
 
"A ponk? What does a ponk do?"
 
Like a Boss starts up. Play at 0:17 secs
https://youtu.be/NisCkxU544c?t=17s
 
>Well the first thing I do is...
 
>Talk to friends (like a ponk)
>Approve Cannons (like a ponk)
>Lead a party (like a ponk)
>Remember birthdays (like a ponk)
>Direct festivals (like a ponk)
>My own physics (like a ponk)
>Non-canons (like a ponk)
>Promote smiles (like a ponk)
 
>Make some new friends (like a ponk)
>Get rejected (like a ponk)
>Swallow sadness (like a ponk)
>Late night shows (like a ponk)
>Make a sex joke (like a ponk)
>Cry alone (like a ponk)
>Bother Luna (like a ponk)
>Eat a cupcake (like a ponk)
 
>Invade privacy (like a ponk)
>Get yelled at (like a ponk)
>Party hard (like a ponk)
>Shit on Shiny's desk (like a ponk)
>Party Cannons (like a ponk)
>Stick my head in (like a ponk)
>Hmm, I need to clean this.
 
>Get distracted (like a ponk)
>Watch Celestia (like a ponk)
>Jump out windows (like a ponk)
>Lick a girl's clit (like a ponk)
>Score some coke (like a ponk)
>Crash my cart (like a ponk)
>Suck my own clit (like a ponk)
>Eat some hay strips (like a ponk)
 
>Chop my mark off (like a ponk)
>Wander in a dream (like a ponk)
>Find Discord (like a ponk)
>Rape his brains out (like a ponk)
>Become a deity (like a ponk)
>Spawn a new world (like ponk)
>Out of characters (like a ponk)
>Then I'm dead (like a ponk)
 
"...it started getting vulgar at the end."
 
>Yeah, it did.
 
"How much of that was actually true?"
 
>Some of it.
 
"Which ones?"
 
>Eh, it's more fun to have you guess.
 
"Does thou lick thy own clitoris?"
 
>What? I never said that.
 
"...we are fairly sure thou did."
 
>Ahahaha, are you going to let me travel or what?
 
"...*sigh*...just please don't speak."
 
>I'll be as quiet as the wind.
Starts humming and hopping along with Luna.
 
"...we are full of regret."
 
>(Like a Ponk)
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Celestia
~~~
 
As the day began to draw to its closure, Celestia sat down upon the highest balcony in Canterlot Castle. Titling her head back, she watched as her sister's stars appeared one by one after she herself had lowered the sun.
 
The hint of a smile touches upon her muzzle as a certain constellation of stars appears, barely visible to the naked eye.
 
They could never be found in the same spot, she knew, but she would always find them... if she needed to.
 
Like she had been promised, so very, very long ago.
 
Casting a slow, panning look across her kingdom and taking in the serenity of it all, the ancient alicorn then once more gazes up.
 
„It is coming along nicely.... The world, all those living within it and us.“
 
Celestia eyes closed, and she remembered a distinct... warmth.
 
A face. And a gentle voice, lost to time.
 
„Neither me nor Luna will ever forget or stop loving you. And thank you for still watching over us, even if you can no longer be with us.”
 
The princess couldn't see it, as she chose that moment to head back inside.
 
But that night, the stars seemed to shine specially bright.
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
NC
>Rarity
"Rarity's Mom"
'Rarity's Dad'
~~
 
>Momma! Daddy! Hello again! I just thought I'd take my wings out for a stretch and wish you a wonderful mother's day!
 
"...RARITY! MY GOD! YOU HAVE WINGS!"
 
'When the blazes did that happen!?'
 
>...Are... are you serious?
 
"DO WE NOT LOOK SERIOUS!?"
 
'HOW!?'
 
>...I don't... I've seen you a lot, how do you not...
 
"You didn't have wings when we saw you last!"
 
>Yes I did.
 
'I think we would have noticed!'
 
"HOW!?"
 
>...
 
"..."
 
'...'
 
>...Where's Sweetie Belle?
 
"Uhhh..."
 
'...Didn't you have her?'
 
>...I'm starting to think you two aren't the most attentive.
 
"Miss just THREE different times you get a stained glass window dedicated to her, and she never lets it go."
 
'Selfish, really.'
 
>...
 
"...We're going on vacation again."
 
>I'll try to contain my shock.
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>AJ
"???"
'???'
~~~~~~
 
It just kept getting heavier.
 
And heavier, and heavier, and heavier.
 
So much she still had to do, so much she still hadn't gotten done.
 
Still no sign of 12.
 
Still hadn't fixed the library problem.
 
Hadn't done a single thing with Sunset yet.
 
Hadn't gotten to talk to really anyone about anything important.
 
And it all just felt... heavy. Like every day it just got heavier and heavier. More stuff, more problems, more everything and it just never stopped. It just never stopped.
 
So when her door creaked open, again, she was ready for the worst, ready for more pain, more headaches, more heartaches, more problems and more weight to add to the ever growing pile. She was ready, but she knew it was like bracing yourself for a cannonball, pointless.
 
"Applejack?"
 
Which is why she felt nothing but confusion at the soft, searching voice that called out as the door slowly creaked open.
 
>...Oh, hey sugar cube.
 
Normally, she would be much, much more excited about seeing Applebloom again. She didn't see nearly enough of her nowadays. Shoot, she could see her every day of her life, and it still wouldn't be nearly enough.
 
She felt Applebloom knew this by the way she trotted up to her side, wasting no time before planting two hooves on the side of her seat and looking up to her.
 
"Yer' still wearin' it!"
 
She smiled, idly adjusting the hat with the golden band atop her head, smiling just a bit at the feeling.
 
>O' course Ah'm still wearin' it, it's the best darn hat Ah' ever wore.
 
She practically wagged her tail just like winona at the sight of it.
 
Speaking off..
 
*ARF!*
 
With a jumping leap, the dog landed on her desk, practically smiling as she panted happily atop it.
 
>Winona! Yer' gonna drool on mah' papers!
 
The dog, unsurprisingly, didn't seem to care.
 
So, of course, Applejack rolled her eyes knowing the battle was lost, and turned her attention back to Applebloom.
 
 
>Ya'll still doin' good in school?
 
"Applejack! We don't see each other fer' a week and THAT'S what ya' ask?"
 
>Course it is, schoolin's important...
 
An idle orange hoof began to stroke through that fiery red mane, her eyes taking on a far away look as she did so.
 
>..Ya' need ta' be smarter than they think...
 
She snapped out of it when the younger filly made a noise akin to gagging.
 
Still hates the mushy stuff, she guessed.
 
>Ah'm sorry Ah'm not there fer' you as much as Ah' need ta' be.
 
"Ahh, don't worry, Ah' miss ya, but Big Mac and Granny got this!"
 
>Yeah... but they shouldn't have to.
 
That hoof slowed in it's stroking, noting right away that her head was... bigger than before. Was she remembering it wrong, or...
 
Was Applebloom growing up without her?
 
"Yer' doin' this fer' Equestria, right? Well, that's me too! So stop worryin'!"
 
>Ah' can't help it... yer' special.
 
"Ahhh, Applejack!"
 
With a huff, she knocked the hoof away, and Applejack stopped trying.
 
>...What're ya'll doin' over here anyway?
 
The filly's face took on a look of mischief, of conspiratorial mirth.
 
And thus, Applejack knew she was doomed.
 
>What did ya' doooo?
 
"Weeeeeellll... couple o' the family stopped by, and they were wonderin' why ya' weren't down at the farm!"
 
>Uh huh...
 
"And theeeen a whole bunch'a others came and they were wonderin' where ya' were too!"
 
>Riiight.
 
"And then jus', SO MANY Apples were like, 'where's Applejack?'"
 
>And then ya' told 'em Ah'm busy up here, right?
 
"Well, Ah' did the first few."
 
>...And?
 
"And then Ah' just got SO DANG annoyed by tellin' 'em over and over and over, ya' know what Ah' did?"
 
>What did ya' do?
 
Her smile would have put Chrysalis to shame.
 
"...Told 'em ta' see fer' themselves."
 
>...Wha-
 
Her door exploded in, and like the dyke had broken they all just poured.
 
'WELL IFFIN' IT AIN'T MAH UNGRATEFUL GRANDAUGHTER! Ain't ya' gonna write EVER!?'
 
>G-granny! Ah' sent a letter two days ago! Tell 'er Big Mac!
 
'Noooope.'
 
 
>TRAITOR! Yer' s'posed ta' lie fer' yer' little sister!
 
'That boy knows better than ta' lie ta' me!'
 
'...E-eeeyyup.'
 
>What're ya-
 
'Howdy cousin!'
 
>Howdy, now ya'll need ta-
 
'Hey, Cousin Applejack!'
 
>Hey, Ah'-
 
'Applejack! You have to see your new cousins, they were born just a week ago!'
 
>They're cute, but-
 
'Applejack! Ya' got a horn... RACE TRAITOR!'
 
>Ah' ain't a... this isn't what-
 
'Hey, Applejack? Ya'll got a big office.'
 
>Ain't big enough, clearly!
 
'Woo, this is comfy.'
 
>Get off'a that desk!
 
'Hey-o, Applejack! Can Ah'get tickets ta' the Wonderbolt show?'
 
>Ah'm not a dang-
 
'Yer' hair looks good!'
 
'Them there clips are so cute!'
 
>Thank's but-
 
'Hey, Applejack!'
 
>WHHHHAAAAAAAT!?
 
'...Howdy!'
 
>THAT'S IT! AH'VE HAD ENOUGH AND AH' CAN'T TAKE NO MORE! YA' KNOW WHAT AH'M ABOUT TA' DO!?
 
Every one of the massive Apple clan shared a look, then shrugged.
 
With complete, dead toned seriousness, she looked at them all...
 
And then pulled out a guitar.
 
>Iffin' we're all here, we might's well sing, Ah' think that there's a rule.
 
As one, they tossed their various hats, and in one unfortunate case Granny Smith, into the air and let out a cheer.
 
"YYEEEEEEEHAW!"
 
Just before the music started up, the absolute instant before it began, she looked down, and shared a look with her excited, elated younger sibling.
 
>...Thanks, Applebloom, Ah' needed this.
 
"Course, AJ! We're Family! We gotta look out fer' each other!"
 
She nuzzled her head beneath Applejack's chin, tickling her with that massive bow on her head. It was not long before Applejack had embraced her, and the weight of the world just seemed to melt away.
 
>Yeah... we're apples to the core. We're family...
 
She swore, if she looked hard enough into the crowd, swore there was something else there.
 
Someone else there.
 
>...and so much more.
 
"HIT IT!"
 
The entire castle would not get a wink of sleep that night.
 
___
 
NC-addition
 
~Appppleejaaaaackkkk... avenge us!~
 
>DANG IT AH' SAID NO! Ah'm not gonna try ta' fight the train that ran ya' over!
 
~...This is why we liked Big Mac better.~
 
>HUSH!
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
Canon Debatable
 
>Spike
"Daw"
 
He found her sitting against a wall, whistling along with the tune that was reverberating throughout the castle.
 
>Hey.
 
"Sssssh, ya hear that, kid? That right there? That's th' sound of life, the bouncing melody...I mean, I prefer yer average sea shanty, buuuut I'll take this."
 
>Yeah, I'm gonna see if I can join them in a little bit but first? We gotta talk.
 
"About my application to the Club?"
 
>In sense, it's about your attitude.
 
"My attitude?"
 
>Yeah? Bottom line? You're kind of a bitch.
 
"Wow, now there's a revelation, sport."
 
>See? That right there, that's not gonna fly if you want in.
 
She got up, regarding the dragon skeptically.
 
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but yon pinky with the oversized cannon strapped to her was givin' me just as good as I gave. What's the difference with me?"
 
>It's like she said, I know her, she knows me, we both know Spoon. We don't know you from Faust, and firing off insults like you're at target practice isn't going to endear you. Diamond Tiara's a founding member of the Club and the A-Team-for as long as that lasted. We've all saved each other's lives on multiple occasions, we fought each other in the simulator and out, we have the kind of respect that you can't just expect out of secondhand accounts and loud boasting. We've seen what we can do with our own eyes.
 
The dragon looked up at the pirate resolutely.
 
>If you want in, you have to prove yourself, like Potatojack-
 
"Wait, it's even her name!?"
 
>...yeah?
 
"Okay, wow, no disrespect but woooow, uhh...continue."
 
>And Twilight did, and even 32 until he turned on us. Silver Spoon was with us as an applicant for who knows how long, but she's proven herself too.
 
"Right..."
 
>So here's what I'm going to do, I'm not going to kick you to the side for a bad first impression, but you are not going to disrespect us, you are not going to disregard what we tell you, and no more of this 'kid' and 'shortstuff' crap, our names are Spike, Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and-yes-Potatojack. Got that?
 
"...can I use initials with that last three?"
 
>Yes.
 
"Right, just wanted that clear."
 
She sighed, looked down...spat into a potted plant and looked thoughtful.
 
"Aye...aye, maybe I did come on a bit strong, guess it's hard to take the ship outta me even this far from home. I'm used to bustin' balls with the lads there, where no one had time to consider what yer talkin' about because there was always some new order, some new score for us to nab. Aye...aye, la-"
 
She caught a quirk in the dragon's eye.
 
"...Spike, guess I was goin' to have to get used t'disciplined life sooner or later. Right, right, I'll dial myself down a bit. But you better not be expecting me to be yer doormat, got me? And believe you me, when I get that respect you're talking about, it's going to be bloody well understood I'm worth givin' it to."
 
>I wouldn't expect anything less. Be seeing ya, Applicant Daw.
 
"You too, boss."
 
>Boss?
 
"What, that one not allowed either?"
 
>No no, I think that one works just fine. Now if you'll excuse me...
 
He started walked towards where the singing was coming from.
 
>I think I have a hootenanny to get to.
 
"I believe it's more of a hoedown."
 
>I think I know what a hootenanny sounds like, thank you. And don't give me back talk.
 
Daw shrugged.
 
"You're the expert, boss."
 
With a wry grin, he was disappearing down the halls.
 
"...it's totally a feckin' hoedown, though."
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>12
“Screwloose”
____
 
>WHAT IN THE FUCKING HIVEMIND IS THAT?!
 
“You mean this little cutie? He’s your brother, pervert! Oh, c’mon, don’t look at him like that, you’ll hurt his feelings.”
 
>IT HAS NO FLESH!
 
“Yeah, yep. Still, uh… still working out the bugs on that front.”
 
>IT HAS NO FRONT!
 
“Okay, the whole front. Point is, still tinkering.”
 
>IT HAS THREE FUCKING LIMBS AND FIVE EYES!
 
“And one ear, which is working just fine and know he is probably deafened by your howling, perv.”
 
>WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
 
“Me? I’m fine. Him? Probably struggling real hard to breathe if those gasping noises are any indicator. I don’t exactly have an x-ray machine to pinpoint where everything goes in you changelings so I kinda just stuffed things where they fit.”
 
>IT’S CRAWLING TOWARDS ME!
 
“Because it came from your DNA, cutie, so it recognizes you. It probably wants a hug! …Or to be euthanized. I can’t imagine leaving those oily looking smears behind is healthy.”
 
>AHHHHHHH GET IT GET IT GET IT GET IT DON’T LET IT TOUCH ME!”
 
“So noisy today!”
 
>IT’S CRYING TEARS OF BUBBLING PITCH!
 
“Tears of joy, perv, tears of joy. But I think I’ll just chalk this one up to a misfire and try again. Now where’d I put my scalpel…? Aha! There you are!”
 
*shunk*
 
“Shhh, yes, that’s it, shhh, sleepy time, little one, mhm…”
 
>…
 
“Well! That was very informative, I think we all learned a little something today!”
 
>...Yeah, that you are fucking insane.
 
“I said learned, pervert. You can’t learn what you already knew. Now, hoof massage? I’m thinking hoof massage for this princess.”
 
>...damn it, I'll get the lotion.
 
"And that's why you're my number one pervert."
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Luna
"Celestia"
[???]
{???}
~~~~
 
>SISTER! WE HAVE AN INQUIRY!
 
"GAH! NO! NOT LUNA TOO! YOU WERE MY LAST LINE! ALL I HAVE IS SHINY LEFT! HE'S ALL I HAAAAVVVVEEEE!
 
>...What?
 
"Nothing, flashbacks, what did you need, sister?"
 
>WE WISH TO, AT LAST, TAKE ON A STUDENT OF OUR OWN!
 
"...Oh! This again? Well, wonderful. You're not just going to say it, run off and then never speak of it again, are you?"
 
>WE ONLY DID THAT TWICE! AND TECHNICALLY THIS IS SPEAKING OF IT AGAIN!
 
"Right... do not need the screaming."
 
>NAY! THIS IS THE ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE, AND THIS IS A ROYAL CANTERLOT MATTER! TIS TOTALLY NECESSARY!
 
"Alright, fine. What did you need me for?"
 
>WE NEED TO KNOW WHAT FORMS TO FILL OUT!
 
"..."
 
>...
 
"...Ask Applejack?"
 
>...Seriously?
 
"No, obviously not seriously, form F2B with addendums A6Y if you want to teach them special kinds of magic."
 
>OF COURSE! COULD BE NO OTHER REASON!
 
"Oh? Are they okay with that?"
 
>Why doth that matter?
 
"...They have to actually want to be your student first, Luna."
 
>WHAT!? SINCE WHEN IS THAT A THING!?
 
"That has literally always been a thing."
 
>HAS NOT! IF WE WANTED A PONY BEFORE, WE MERELY POINTED AND THEY WERE DELIVERED!
 
"...Okay, one, they thought it was for something else. Two, still no."
 
>So thou art saying we must actually ask their opinion on the matter first!?
 
"That's the short of it."
 
>But what if they think wrong!? What if they do not do what we want!?
 
"...I think this is going to be a learning experience for you."
 
>Hrmph... VERY WELL! WE SHALL... ugh... WE SHALL ACTUALLY ASK FIRST BEFORE WE COMMIT THEM TO A LIFE AS OUR STUDENT!
 
"Atta girl. So, who's the lucky pony?"
 
>TIS NOT A PONY!
 
"..."
 
>...
 
"..."
 
>...are thou not going to inquire further?
 
"Nnnnnnope."
 
>Sister, we-
 
"Nnnnnnnooooopppppeeee."
 
*walks off*
 
>...WE SEE THIS GOING WELL!
 
~~~~~~
 
[...]
 
{Niney? You just started shaking, something the matter?}
 
[The ghostly feeling that someone hath put a gun to my head... I feel it.]
 
{...Did they?}
 
{Oh well... no matter! Home sweet home!}
 
[Yes, tis good to be back to our abode, though I feel I am forgetting something?]
 
{Did you leave something back at Canterlot?}
 
[Verily I hope not, we shant not turn around now that we have arrived bac-]
 
*TINK!*
*CHITTER!*
 
{.......}
 
[......SON OF A
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
OoCO, takes place before that.
>29
"56'"
~~~
 
He wouldn't stop fidgeting.
 
Every few seconds like an unruly child.
 
>Stop it.
 
"Mmm."
 
As he supposed he was, technically.
 
>Stop it I said, it is hard to grip.
 
"Hmm."
 
He was huffing with his forelegs crossed all akimbo, and of course he was pouting.
 
Of course.
 
>Thou did fine, that brute was a trained Infiltrator, of course thine smaller frame would make a physical confrontation more difficult.
 
"Mmmhm."
 
>Thou art just not yet aged to the point where battle may be easily fought, more time is needed... time you will not get if thou does something so foolish again.
 
Even while transferring his over power to the smaller changeling, he found the means to bop him on the head.
 
>Such a foolish move you did!
 
"Yeah, it was pretty dumb to think I could do anything."
 
His voice was that sad melancholy that, were that tone to come from any other child, he would assume they had just failed a test of some sort, or lost a big game.
 
It hurt.
 
>Now, do not speak as such! While foolish, there was a bravery to thine actions, I admit.
 
"You mean dumb."
 
The elder changeling sighed, pausing in his transference enough turn the pressure on the smaller head into a gentle rubbing.
 
>...I wish you hadn't, I shall admit. I feared she would think you with me, and share my ultimate fate.
 
"Not-mom wasn't going to kill you."
 
>Fifty Six... she was.
 
He didn't even look like he was considering it, didn't look convinced at all.
 
"...That guy might've, he's a jerk. But not Not-mom, she cares, she just thought you were doing stuff that might hurt us by feeding that jerk who wanted to hurt her..."
 
Wide, curious eyes looked up to him.
 
"Why'd you do it anyway?"
 
>...I suppose it's just how I am.
 
"Yeah... I guess."
 
With that, and the silence that followed, he resumed recharging what had been stolen away.
 
"...Guess I wouldn't make a very good nightgaurd after all."
 
>A what?
 
A strange twinkle had taken over in his eye, something between confusion and mirth.
 
"Yeah, I... I wanna be a nightguard. Well, wanted to be, don't think even they'd take me in after losing that bad. Pretty sure they'd laugh at me in my face if I showed up around there. I lost so hard when people looked at me they would say "You should've seen the other guy!... Because he is CHARGED right now! He could probably punch out a mountain!"
 
It was a bit malicious to laugh at him, but he couldn't help it.
 
>Again, he is a trained Infiltrator with many, many victories under his belt in fights against others, it would be a tough fight for one of Celestia's trained forces.
 
"Spike put him down pretty easy, apparently. I dunno, I only heard he got shot a lot."
 
>Well, Spike IS a dragon after all.
 
"...You did pretty good."
 
Again, he paused, but only for a moment.
 
>Did you see that?
 
"No... but I heard it before I passed out."
 
>Ah... well... that was special.
 
"How?"
 
>His weakness is a lead pipe, I've found it. If you ever should face him in battle yet again, you know his greatest fear!
 
The changeling below him snorted a bit, but choked down any laughter.
 
"...I'm starting to think I should just go home and leave the protecting to everyone else."
 
>You think this after one time facing someone so beyond thine league that he defeated a trained unicorn and Zecora? Thou art too hard on thineself.
 
"...maybe... maybe not."
 
>Pfft... so, where do I send the checks, and is this going to interfere with thine other little club?
 
His little head snapped up, honestly shocked.
 
"You... still think I should?"
 
>I don't pay for shows, Cousin, I live them.
 
"Uh... well, I mean, you can save some money. About the Young Fliers club..."
 
WHACK!
 
"Ow!"
 
 
>Quitting already!? It's only been a few months!
 
"I was worried it was gonna interfere with my nightguard training!"
 
>HRMPH! If thou thinks I will fork over bits for every fancy, thou art sorely mistaken! No more of this hopping about, that is reserved for me and mine own FAR MORE JUSTIFIED fancies! You will stick with this guard one to completion, and that is final!
 
"I don't even-"
 
WHACK!
 
"OW!"
 
>That! Is! final!
 
"..."
 
>..
 
"...Okay, cuz."
 
>Do thou swear?
 
"Yeah... I promise."
 
>Good. Now...
 
With that, at last, Fifty Six felt himself recharged.
 
>Cousin, there is one more thing you must promise me.
 
"What?"
 
He gripped him by the shoulders, and looked him right in the eye with the most deadly serious look his cousin had ever given him.
 
>When thou art doing thine little protection game... make sure it is with someone who is worth it. Don't throw thine life away on someone... who might not be worth it, in the long run.
 
He looked back.
 
Wide, unblinking eyes locked into his.
 
And then he shot forwards, and Twenty Nine could see him no more.
 
"I'm gonna protect everyone I care about Cuz... everyone."
 
But he could feel that grip tightening on him.
 
>...Very well.
 
He could not fight anymore.
 
He hugged him back, and that was that.
 
>...I'll watch you prove it.
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
 >32
"Various"
~~~~
 
The first hour, nothing. So he broke out the coco.
 
The second hour, nothing, so he broke out the cookie.
 
The third hour, nothing, so he broke out the brownies.
 
The fourth and final hour... he broke out the good wine.
 
Twenty Nine was going to be SO angry with him.
 
And yet, somehow... it worked!
 
"So do you guys, like, actually suck out the love? Like a vampire?"
 
>No no, in reality it is very much akin to a magical spell being cast wherein the magic merely flows from one body to another.
 
"Huh... isn't that dangerous?"
 
>In large amounts, of course! But so long as it remains in moderation, it's no different than a unicorn casting a large amount of spells, or a pegasi flying about.
 
"...huh..."
 
~~~~
 
"Are you guys really bulletproof?"
 
>That's a common misconception. In reality, most of us are merely a little more durable than a particularly stocky earth pony, and most of that is due to the chitin. When we feed, our love-magic sends nutrients to the skin. What you're seeing with those cases is a changeling who's love magic has seeped in so deeply it can actually repair and repel damage so quickly by exerting excess love magic. Do enough of it, and it gives the illusion of bulletproof, when in reality if you deplete the stores even those who appear unstoppable would be put down.
 
"....Huuuh?"
 
~~~
 
"What's with the goo?"
 
>Common secretion, no different than your spit composition wise.
 
"...whu?"
 
>...Maybe I should start answering these questions BEFORE they've had the wine...
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
NC [Inside the Simulator.]
>88
"77"
~~~
 
>WOW! LOOK AT ALL THE FUCKING WONDERS YOU CAN CREATE! THEY'RE EYE POPPING!
 
>Sister please...
 
>OH DEAR HIVEMIND IT'S JUST LIKE REAL LIFE!... AS IN, I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IT LOOKS LIKE!
 
"Sister..."
 
>HO WOW! I CAN GO TO WHOLE NEW CONTINENTS I ALSO CAN'T LOOK AT! IT'S LIKE I NEVER LEFT MY BEDROOM!
 
"Sisteeerrrr..."
 
>WHY DID YOU BRING ME IN HERE!?
 
"...I didn't want you to get lost again-OW!... how did you know I wouldn't die if you stabbed me?"
 
>YOU DON'T DIE IN HERE!?
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
 >32
"Various"
~~
 
"How do you guys make Queens, anyway?"
 
>I don't know.
 
"..."
 
>...What? Do you know how they make more princesses?
 
"....GASP!"
 
~~~
 
"Can you make yourself have two dicks?"
 
>...
 
"..."
 
>...i... don't... know...
 
"...*hic*..."
 
~~~
 
"Aren't you all technically rapis-"
 
>ENOUGH WITH THAT QUESTION!
 
"I just think it's hot."
 
>...
 
"..."
 
>...N-next?
 
~~~~
 
"Can you turn into a mare?"
 
>I can look like one, but not the parts obviously.
 
"Awwww..."
 
>...you are nowhere near sober enough for that not to be rape.
 
"But you guys are all-"
 
>I KNOW!
 
~~~~
 
>Next.
 
"So about those pony pods-"
 
>For fuck's sake, Daw!
 
"I WILL FIND THE TRUTH!"
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
Meta-heavy Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Discord"
~~~
 
 
~ Fade to a certain late night show studio in a nondescript environment ~
 
 
Pinkie is babbling animatedly as ever.
 
>-and fixing the good 'ol 'Non-Canon' sign was a bit iffy, but in the end, me and Cheesy meet up again, making everything just.... uhm... just... hello?
 
As if on joint cue the cardboard cut-out audience members rise one by one and leave the studio without a sound.
 
>I, uhm, I am... we're still recording you guys! It's... it's still running. Why are you all leaving? Hello?
 
The studio empties, until only a few remain, but it looks decidedly emptier.
 
>Wait, don't go! Am I not funny anymore? Are you bored? Please!
 
„No, Pinkie, they're not leaving.“
 
With the sound of rattlesnake, Discord forms himself out of one of the wires running across the ground to one of the stationary cameras.
 
>But-but! They just got up and left, and it didn't look like they had a massive case of potty break!
 
„They're going somewhere more quiet. You see, the entire /pa/ programme has moved back to replaying pre-recorded episodes that cycle with live recordings we do to fill out timeslots. Those fellows that left? Just some folks who wanted less noise to distract from the entertainment“
 
Pinkie slowly looks around. Food stuffs on the ground, a sign reading 'GAS ALL CHIGGERS' broken in half, blood on the walls, notepads with random storyboard scribbles... it looked like a protest or a football game took place in here.
 
>I... guess it got a little rowdy now and then. But that's the charm of a live studio, right?
 
„Oh, it is. And those staying with us are lively and love arguing as much as always. How do you think I managed to slip in here uninvited?”
 
A couple of the audience members wave, most of them looking a bit older than the rest.
 
>Mmmh, and you're saying we didn't lose anyone? They still love to watch us experience our crazy adventures?
 
„Precisely. All you have now, is the liberty to design your show in a more organized fashion for those watching it later, loathe as I am to say that word.“
 
>Well, then, I guess I can bugger some ponies during the daytime now too, haha! Aaah, but... I don't have a studio guest right now...
 
With a fluid swimming motion, Discord squats on the ground, putting the chair for guests atop his back.
 
„Well then, how about you entertain them with yours truly?“
 
Pinkie glances from the remaining audience, to the cameras. And slowly, a wide smile appears on her face again. Hopping into her chair, she takes a deep breath and merrily belts out:
 
>Hello, hello and welcome to Kinda Late Night /pa/! I am your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter and I talk to our future viewers from the past long gone, ooooooo~ But before we speak to the main guest, Discord, a word from our sponsors!
 
 
~ Cut to 'Late Night /PA/' logo and the cardboard band playing a random jingle, followed by one of Luna's dream commercials ~
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
CD
>AJ
“Chitania”
'PM/SN'
~~~~~~~~
 
Regret.
 
It was something she felt a lot here recently. Regrets for choices made in poor moments that even now stuck with her. Chief among them, probably the worst ever, was the choice she now had to pay for every day during what was possibly the worst state she was ever in. A part of her was honestly bitter about it. It had worked out, sort of, Spike was saved, she was saved, day was saved, and honestly she couldn't have done it alone as much as she hated to admit it. She needed that power, right then...
 
So why, oh why, was her every waking moment a reminder that she was an absolute failure for having to resort to this? A seemingly neverending stream of ponies and dignitaries and friends giving her the side eye that said, “her? You went to her? Really?”
 
Yes, really! There was a giant invincible dragon running around that was knocking their teeth in. What was she supposed to do? Just let him rampage? Stop him more... 'permanently'?
 
But of course, nobody thinks about that. She let a monster in, and that's that. That's that...
 
And now she had to go deal with it.
 
Again.
 
And maybe she'd have to compromise her stance...
 
Again.
 
And there was no chance everyone was going to come out of this satisfied. Someone, and she wasn't sure who quite yet, was going to have to bite the bullet on this one. Someone was going to walk away angry.
 
She just wasn't sure who yet.
 
Judging by the way the librarian perked up and practically grinned with elation that would put Pinkie to shame, she had a pretty good idea who everyone wanted to bite that bullet, who would have the least backlash from the public and the most understanding from everyone else, but she tried not to let that sway her.
 
Tried being the key words.
 
 
She took her seat smoothly, noting right away that the mare who normally was content to just hum to herself or amuse herself with little flicking of papers hadn't noticed her. For once, as far as Applejack knew, the earth pony had her nose in a book the same as the Titan.
 
Mere seconds after she cleared her throat, that book was closed with surprise and put down, and the earth pony gave her an apologetic, sorry look. The changeling gave no such response.
 
'P-Princess! Sorry um, your majesty, I was just... uh... do you want me to leave? I'm sorry, I can leave.'
 
In fact, she had been about to ask her to give them some space yet again, sending her off to the hallway just in case this somehow turned violent, but the more she thought about it, the less she liked the idea. Frankly, it had to be annoy to her that anyone who ever wanted to speak with Chitania sent her running like she was somehow toxic to the conversation. She might not respect the mare's choice of profession, or that she's willing to help a known ex-criminal, but she had to respect the fact she was always kind and cheerful around her, always respectful and tried her very best to look presentable. While, admittedly, Applejack could count the number of times she actually spoke to her on her hooves, she seemed like a nice enough sort. And she was, shockingly, one of the minutia few who could stand to be around Chitania. It probably wasn't shared, but she seemed to like the Titan if nothing else.
 
So yes, while that throat clear had been to catch the attention of the Queen and send off the one who might get caught up in this... Maybe, just maybe, she could do more good here.
 
>...It's fine.
 
She lit up like a firework, a mixture of shock and elation brightening her like the sun.
 
'I-I can stay?'
 
>Sure, ain't no reason ya' gotta go nowhere. You still doin' okay? She still not hurtin' ya' none?
 
Her head rocked up and down so fast it's entirely possible she was going to give herself whiplash.
 
 
'Nope nope! I'm still prim as a peach!... I think! I've never had a fresh peach, so I don't know how prim they are, but... nope! I'm fine, is what I meant, she's not so bad!'
 
She very, very much doubted that and knew that, best case scenario, the only reason she hadn't beaten her in is 'Chitania beats a hooker' would probably blow her tentative cover and force her on the run again if only to escape the embarrassment if nothing else, but so long as nothing bad actually happened she couldn't make a move.
 
>Well, that's good. Ya'll will tell us iffin' she does somethin', right?
 
'...Sure!'
 
She didn't like that pause, but it would have to do.
 
>Good. Now... iffin' you'll put down that dang book and look me in the eye, ya'll and Ah' need ta' have a bit of a discussion.
 
Pointedly, the Titan did no such thing.
 
“If this is about what we discussed earlier-”
 
>It ain't, and Ah' want ya' ta' know that there didn't change nothin' with Chrysalis. Ain't nothin' ever gonna change that, so don't bother tryin' ta' throw it back in her face.
 
“As if I would bother.”
 
>Good. Now... put that dang thing down and look at me.
 
Again, she made a show of slowly turning the page, just to make a point.
 
>Yer' seriously gonna act like mah' dang little sister about this? We need ta' have a talk.
 
“No, we do not.”
 
>Yeah, we do. It's about you in this here library.
 
Finally, with enough annoyance to power all of Canterlot fueling her, she put the book down.
 
“Speak very quickly, say your piece, then leave me alone, I have actually important things to consider.”
 
>Look, Ah' dunno how ta' say this nicely... so Ah' ain't. Ah' need ya' ta' move ta' one of the private rooms.
 
From the sound behind her, the librarian had clearly been hoping for something a lot more permanent, and was slightly miffed.
 
“No.”
 
That didn't help matters.
 
Neither did her picking the book right back up as if the conversation had ended help the headache Applejack was dealing with.
 
>Look, Ah' know ya' don't wanna, but folks can't come in here no more because ya' scare the livin' daylights outta' them. And Ah' don't know iffin' ya' noticed, it ain't exactly their fault.
 
“Not my problem.”
 
>What part o' it's yer' fault isn't gettin' through?
 
“I have not threatened, insulted or harassed anyone, if they are too cowardly to even be in my presence it is hardly my fault.”
 
>It's yer' fault cause ya' wrecked their freakin' city, damn near squashed them, and then ya' punched their favorite princess right through a wall.
 
“Yes, but I haven't done anything recently."
 
>Oh yeah, cause iffin' ya' didn't do it yesterday, it might've well have never happened!
 
"Well, it might as well not have, thanks to our agreement."
 
>That ain't the same and ya' know it!
 
"If they fear that I am going to crush them, punch them through a wall or wreck their homes, perhaps it is for the best if they avoid me entirely.”
 
An annoyed, bubbling noise rumbled in her throat, and if this kept up she was going to eat her hat.
 
>Look, yer' officially disturbin' the peace.
 
“By sitting here and reading.”
 
>By freakin' ponies out with the fact ya' ain't never once looked a bit sorry fer' nearly killin' 'em!
 
“Because I'm not.”
 
It cut right through to the core of the conversation, she realized. Even after all this time, all she went through and now understands, she did not care. She did not care a single bit what she had done, how many she had almost hurt, or worse. She didn't care.
 
And that chapped Applejack something fierce.
 
>...Look Ah' get ya' just wanna read yer'... whatever the heck yer' readin'! But this here's a problem that yer' causin' that needs a solution, and it's gonna come from me. Ah' ain't askin' ya' ta' go off forever, or leave, or stop readin', or anythin' like that. Ah'm askin' ya', very reasonably, ta' move ta' somewhere ya' ain't gonna freak out the ponies who just wanna learn. They've all got that right ta' learn free of feelin' like some dang bug monster is gonna snap one day and bring the whole damn buildin' down around them! It ain't right that ya'll get ta' cause this in so many ponies lives, when in reality it's just yer' own dang fault they're freakin' out happened in the first place, and maybe iffin' ya' said sorry fer' once they'd stop thinkin' yer' a dang monster! Ah'm not askin' ya' ta' go away, just move!
 
“No.”
 
She had laid out everything with that, given her all, and the Titan hadn't even put the book down.
 
And it made her blood boil.
 
“Are we done?”
 
>...Either ya' move, or Ah'll tell the guard ya' ain't allowed in this here place no more, and iffin' ya' even try ta' force the matter, Ah'll throw everythin' Ah've got at ya' and end this whole dance right now.
 
Finally.
 
At last.
 
She closed the covers, and put the book down.
 
“...So, you're finally going back on your word, are you?”
 
There was more to just the simple question there, more than just what was being asked on the surface. She may as well have slapped down the declaration of war, and handed Applejack a pen.
 
>Nope.
 
“You said you'll treat me as if I was any other citizen.”
 
Applejack took a deep, deep breath.
 
And let it all out.
 
She hated resorting to this so much...
 
 
>Municipal code fourteen, paragraph eight. Iffin' an individual though past actions causes disturbances with their presence, then the owners of any businesses are allowed to deny them service if it is having a direct and verifiable impact on their sales, their livelyhoods, and their futures. Essentially, back in the heyday, Celestia done wrote in a law that prevented outlaws from scarin' off bar patrons. Turns out, there was a huge thing where rivals would just hire mercenaries ta' go in and scare off the drunks so they run the other way, right inta' their own establishment. In other words, any business is allowed ta' deny ya' service iffin' yer' running off their customers.
 
She looked left, then right, then straight ahead.
 
>Looks ta' me like they done got run off.
 
A glint appeared in Chitania's eye, a dangerous one.
 
“This isn't a business, it's open to the public.”
 
>Any establishment that makes over fourteen thousand bits a year can qualify fer' the same benefits.
 
“No way does this bring in that much.”
 
>Our late fees are freakin' exorbitant, but the rich don't mind none. It's pocket change ta' them. Go inta' the dang room, read yer' books in total peace, read as much as ya' want as often as ya' want, and ya' do it without nobody botherin' ya' at all. Ah'll even keep it nice and stocked with snacks fer' ya', just fer you. Yer' own little special world. No kids, nobody makin' noise, nobody pointin' at ya' and starin', no nothin'. This works out for everybody. Or... ya' make me use the law on ya', just like Ah' would any other pony. Ah'll do it.
 
“You're lying.”
 
>Test me.
 
What passed between them could not be considered merely 'a look'. There was a magic there, a special kind that required no horns, or spells.
 
It was one of pure, unwavering, defiance.
 
“...If you insist.”
 
She smiled, a smile so full of venom she could taste the poison in the air, and she picked that book up, and gave Applejack not another thought.
 
She was daring her to finally write that name, and start the war.
 
Her heart seized at this. She had been hoping that somewhere, in that gigantic skull of hers, she could see reason. She could see it was better for everyone if she just went with it. She could see that, if she just accepted it and moved a whopping twenty feet away, just twenty feet, she could have peace and quiet, all the room she wanted, everything.
 
But it seemed the only thing stronger than the Titan's blows was her stubborness.
 
Desperately, and she was well aware how desperate this was, she turned to the mare.
 
>Look, ya'll talk ta' her, don't ya'? Can ya' just tell her why she should move? Just... try ta' make her understand it would be better fer' everyone? Not just them, but her too. Everyone. She just needs ta'... just go over there and don't bug nobody, please?
 
She expected fear at the request, certainly wouldn't have held it against her if she said no, maybe some looks that said she thought the mare needed to be in a straight jacket, just something.
 
The one look she never thought she'd see, and certainly never wanted to see, was the look of someone who had just found out their favorite pet was rabid, and had to watch it be put down. At least, that was the closest she could use to describe it.
 
She really, truly, looked like she was about to cry.
 
>Er.. ya' okay?
 
'...It's always the same...'
 
>Ah' don't... ah' don't understand, what?
 
She shook her head, looking away and keeping her mouth firmly closed. Maybe out of respect, maybe out of something else, but any fire that had flared up when the guard had harassed her was being shoved down, pushed low, desperate to stay where it was, in her gut.
 
>Look, Ah'm not tryin' ta' get rid of ya'll, okay? Ah' just need her ta' move ta' where ponies don't get bothered by lookin' at her... can ya' blame them? Look at her! Of course they ain't gonna feel safe around her! Ya' get that, right? She ain't... safe. Jus' help her see that?
 
Her attempt to plead her case was met with something even worse than what she had seen before, somehow.
 
A look like she had personally just walked up and crunched the remains of that favored pet, practically danced upon it's corpse.
 
>What's the matter here? Ah'm not talkin' about you-
 
'For now.'
 
She tried to stifle the words the instant they left, but she couldn't stop it. Her eyes went wide with, of all things, fear. Fear she tried, and failed to mask when Applejack locked eyes with her.
 
'I-I'm... I'm sorry. Don't...'
 
>What did ya' say? Ah-
 
A hoof.
 
From seemingly out of nowhere, a hoof cut in front of her vision, and blocked most of the mare frome her sight. All she could see was just the very top of her head, just from the snout up. From the relaxed, easy pose of the Titan as she rested her cheek on her other hoof, one would swear she had merely grown bored with the conversation and just shifted to get more comfortable as she returned to her reading. But there was something off about it, something almost deliberate.
 
While Applejack was pondering this, she missed the change. She missed the shift in those eyes when they had watched Applejack nearly leap from her chair in fear, she missed those same eyes darting back and forth, watching as the Titan openly dared her to say or do anything, and nothing came. She had missed it... when that fire changed.
 
Applejack had watched the wall come down, but she didn't see that it let the mare rise up.
 
'I said... for now.'
 
She had to peer a bit over the hoof, but with her neck craned just right, she could see a strange look in the mares eyes.
 
Something...off.
 
'This is always how it starts.'
 
>What does?
 
Her eyes trailed out over the empty room, not just looking to it, but seemingly to see through to all of Canterlot beyond.
 
'… it's always the same with you guys. It starts out, they just don't want you in special places because that's for the 'high class' folks, and they don't want to give a bad impression. They've got tourists, they say, business owners, stuff like that. It would just be better if they didn't see you running around, right?Cause you scare them... because of what you are, and what you did.'
 
She didn't know why, but strangely... Applejack could swear her heart had been replaced with lead.
 
'So it's just a little move, at first. You don't get it as good as you had it, but it's for the best. They just want you to move a little, just over there, just where you aren't going to scare as many...'
 
Her eyes trailed over, coming to a stop at the proposed 'private room'. She looked to the lavish, very nice looking meeting room...
 
And she glared.
 
'...But then the folks over there say, well, why do we have to put up with her? What, just because we aren't as important as them, we don't get the same rights? So of course they say, well, I can't show favoritism to them. So I've gotta move you just a bit more, over there, they won't mind...'
 
Her gaze continued, reaching another private room further away. It wasn't as lavish, or as big, but it was functional.
 
'...But then the folks over there say they're just tryin' ta' make it like everyone else, and honey it's hard when folks like her done start runnin' around. They get called the bad parts o' town when folks start runnin' around. Ain't nobody gonna hire from the bad parts o' town, and the folks up there need workers that don't come from the bad parts o' town, so would ya' just mind...'
 
Even further her eyes moved, back, back into the corner, where there was a barely functional room, mostly used for excess book storage.
 
'...So then they figure, we only got one place for the gals like you, the unruly ones, the fucking scary ones who we don't wanna see, and it's in the place where they don't care... cause they're all like you too. Bunch'a nobodies who don't nobody gonna give nothin' about. That's the place nobody wants, so they don't care, and nobody down there's gonna care neither. And by now you've moved so much, you ain't got any way ta' fight back. Roll with it or git rolled.'
 
She came to a stop, at the very, very, very, very back of the library. More specifically, the dingy broom closet that nobody used.
 
'...And then ya' jus' don' get any further. Ya' stay there... cause nobody's gonna help ya' get back up. Ya' gotta fight, only now yer' in the part where ain't none of the 'normal' ponies gonna help ya' fight. And yer' gonna get crushed. So ya' jus' stay done gone like a song, cause ain't nobody gonna care honeybritches...'
 
She blinked, as if snapping out of a trance.
 
'… And then you're done.'
 
She turned her head back, slowly, easily, until she was once more looking in the direction of the Apple Princess, but instead focused squarely on the hole in the limb before her.
 
'I thought... I though ya'd be different. Them I get, I've seen 'em big and small down at the docks and they all swagger the same, but thought you guys were s'posed ta' be... especially you, cause you used to be like me, didn't ya? One'a them ones who couldn't do nothin' cause they didn't have what ya' gotta have... but just like everyone else, when ya' made it...'
 
She started to finally lose steam, lowering herself beyond the protective shielding of chitin and muscle.
 
'...Guess this place is just shinier, but nothin' really changed... so ya' know what?'
 
She snapped her hooves out, openly daring the princess, a PRINCESS, something she almost couldn't comprehend.
 
'Come on! Try it! Make 'er move! Ain't nothin' gonna move her, and you know it! Try it!'
 
To stark white when that hoof pulled away, and Chitania readjusted herself.
 
'… I-I'm still waitin'!'
 
She looked much, much less brash than she did a second ago.
 
But, to her credit, she was still holding strong.
 
Albeit a bit more shakily.
 
>... Ah' didn't want ya' ta' move too.
 
'Bull. I-... I ain't gonna say it, but we both know why iffin' they got her movin' my shaky rear would be right on her tail. Mares like me don't get the benefit of the doubt, and we can't fight back... less we got our gals with us. And I ain't tellin' you what gals those are, cause you can't charge nothin' if I don't say it and you don't see it! I'm just like her, they know I ain't one'a them and I ain't got nothin' for nobody, and so long as they can push me around they're gonna, and ain't gonna stop, unless I stop 'em. So... what's it going to be?'
 
She wanted to end the conversation right there. Applejack would admit that, openly, she wanted this to be over, say she had done her best, and just move on.
 
But she knew it wasn't over, not yet.
 
>Ah'm sorry... ah' get this means a lot ta' ya', but this ain't about you, it's about her.
 
She jutted her hoof to the side, right to the still very disinterested Titan.
 
>It's about a foolheaded bull who thought there weren't no consequences ta' anythin' she did, and don't wanna accept this is her own dang fault. This ain't about her, it's about a thousand others who wanna read books without worryin' they're gonna die cause some dang monster threw a temper tantrum and grew a dozen stories tall. Don't worry, Ah'm not gonna let anyone treat ya'll wrong cause'a yer' work, Ah'm still makin' sure nothin' bad happens ta' nobody cause'a what they were, but she's different. This here's someone who don't want ta' move, but she needs ta', and her fightin' it is makin' stuff worse. This ain't about you... uh...
 
She glared.
 
Just glared.
 
'...You don't even know my name, do you?'
 
She, in fact, did not.
 
She had never once even asked who, exactly, this mare who had all but been sewn to the side of one of the greatest destroyers and most powerful beings on the planet really was.
 
She leaned in, actually managing to choke down whatever fear was threatening to take over, and narrowed the gap between them ever so slightly.
 
'My name... is Sweet Note... and I do not want to move anymore.'
 
She leaned back, and that was it. Next move was Applejacks.
 
And move she did.
 
>Lika Ah' said... this ain't about you.
 
She got up, pushing back from her chair and placing all four hooves on the ground before she turned her hot, intense look over to the mirth filled eyes of the Queen.
 
>Ah' told ya' how it is, that's it. Ya'll-
 
She jutted a hoof over to Sweet Note, but never once looked at her.
 
>-are fine, Ah' ain't got no issue with you and iffin' they do ya'll can tell 'em there's limits ta' this. But you-
 
She defiantly, proudly pointed at the all but chuckling Titan.
 
>-are either gonna go where ya' ain't gonna scare the dickens outta folks, or-
 
“No.”
 
Her one word was booming, powerful, strong.
 
And filled with humor.
 
“These words may work on the small, the weaker, those who fear your soldiers, your powers and their might, but the last time I was in this city I took on three different of you Alicorns, and never once broke a sweat for any of them. Your words mean nothing to me, only our agreement. So, Princess Applejack, if you wish to threaten me, you'll have to do better than that. I have kept up my end of our bargain, I have threatened none, harmed none, fought none or intimidated none. I am a Queen of my word... what about you?”
 
Her chest heaved as air rushed into it. Slowly, it poured out through her nostrils, and she tilted her hat back so Chitania could see every inch of her iris.
 
>Ah'm a mare of mah word... but Ah've also gotta be a mare of the people. Unlike you, Ah' got folks countin' on me who need ta' know Ah'm protectin' 'em. This ain't about you, this is about them knowin' Ah'm gonna keep 'em safe.
 
A flicker of green covered over every inch of Chitania's body, and Applejack's own grew cold.
 
“But can you?”
 
>...Ya'll damn well better believe it.
 
She smiled, relishing in the challenge.
 
“Very well... I hid from your world for centuries, I was but a myth not so very long ago. If you wish to cram me back into the shadows from whence I came... you had better bring something big enough to cast a very, very big shade.”
 
>...This could'a worked out fer' all of us.
 
“No, it couldn't.”
 
She jutted her head to the side, to where that oh so tantalizing private room remained.
 
“How long would it have taken, really? Do you think if they truly feared me, a wall would assuage that fear? That a mere pile of bricks or stone would make them think me safe? No... it takes a lot of power to lift a boulder to move it, but if that boulder does the first roll... it's so much easier to keep it going, isn't it?”
 
'That's right! What she said!'
 
>This don't gotta be like this. It ain't worth it fer' a fight.
 
Her eyes became almost wild, feral and full of life.
 
“Princess Applejack... this library is the only building in this entire town I give the slightest damn about. If I risk being moved away from it, then I have nothing left to hold me back. Leave me be, and all shall feel peace. Push me, and I will show you that if anything... I went easy on this city the last time I was here, and I am capable of much... much... more.”
 
Every single fang glimmered in the light.
 
 
>...So that's it, then? Ya' ain't even gonna try ta' find a middle ground?
 
“I have already held back my revenge, my nature, and my Titan form, and I have endured a land that hates me for the simple pleasure to read. At some point, the middle ground stopped being anywhere near such for me.”
 
>Ya' could'a had everythin' iffin' ya'd just try ta' make it right. Iffin' ya' just said yer' sorry-
 
“Ha... and here I thought you valued honesty.”
 
Her teeth ground, and her spine went rigid to have something she treasured so much thrown back in her face like that.
 
>...Alright, Ah'm done.
 
She turned on her heels, back to the Titan in a flash of orange fur.
 
>This here library is owned by a certain someone, someone ya'll know. Iffin' she feels that she'd rather not have ya' around, then guess what? Ah'll come back, and Ah'll make ya' move somewhere. Either over there where ya' got some comfort or out there, ain't no difference ta' me. This ain't just about you, this whole dang world ain't just about you, it's about makin' sure everyone gets a chance. Ya'll are stoppin' that, and Ah'm sick'a mah apples not bein' able ta' grow.
 
Playfully, the changeling rested her cheek against her hoof.
 
“Very well... I eagerly await her words.”
 
>Chitania...
 
She looked back, just the hint of her eye peering around her shoulder.
 
>It ain't never too late ta' change, ya' know.
 
Her grin grew positively malicious, and a wash of green fire wafted over her.
 
For the first time in her life, Chitania had pulled off a perfect, complete copy of another mare.
 
And Applejack had never been more disgusted looking at her own face in her life.
 
>...Hardy fuckin' har har.
 
“I've been considering standup.”
 
With a grunt, Applejack continued on stomping right out the door and right past an exasperated librarian.
 
The moment she was gone, the flames returned, as did Chitania's form.
 
Curiously, she looked over to the side, and found her companion sitting there, mouth dropped open in a stunned gape, completely stock still... possibly not breathing.
 
“...What's your problem?”
 
'I... I juuuust... t-t-t-t-to a princess... a p-princeeeesss...'
 
Tears sprinkled out of her eyes as she looked over to the titan, the widest, goofiest smile on her face the changeling had ever seen stretching her lips.
 
'T-thanks...'
 
Utterly, completely confused, Chitania shrugged, and picked her book back up.
 
But before her eyes began scanning the page once more... she found herself looking over to the private room again.
 
“...Doesn't look that bad, really.”
 
Slowly, the edges of her cheek went up.
 
“...Top of the hill never does.”
 
'Nope... but the roll down kind of sucks.'
 
They shared only a single glance to each other, and swiftly picked back up their books, and continued reading.
 
“...Is your name actually Sweet Note?”
 
'...Seriously?'
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
NC
>Sweet Note
"Shining Armor"
~~~
 
>Wow! A pony who managed to become influential and special without wings, just a lot of guts and love in his heart!
 
"Thanks!"
 
>You even treated the changelings well, despite everything they did to you!
 
"Well, I figure everyone deserves another shot."
 
>Actually, hey! Can you help my friend?
 
"Sure! What is she-MURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDERMURDER-
 
>U-uhhhh... she's... not that ba-
 
"GONNASHOOTGONNASHOOTGONNASHOOTGONNASHOOTGONNASHOOTGONNASHOOTGONNASHOOTGONNASHOOTGONNASHOOTGONNASHOOTGONNASHOOTGONNASHOOT"
 
>She has a good reason why she's-
 
"DO NOT GIVE A FUUUUUUUCCCKKKKKK, GONNA KILL!"
 
>...Didn't you say everyone deserves a-
 
"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
 
>...I'm gonna need more icecream.
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
CD
>Guard
"Peacetrotter"
'???'
 
>Okay let's see here, okay, we got everything.
 
"This seems illegal."
 
>It's not illegal, I told you so.
 
"It feels, searching for proper term, shady."
 
>What? No nooooo, it's totally not shady at all, Trotty. What we're doing is providing a vital service to the good people of Canterlot, a service they simply cannot get on their own!
 
"Really?"
 
>Of course! No one else is as brave as us to risk life and limb to get the rich and wealthy what they so desperately crave.
 
"...but I'm the one going in there."
 
>Well yes, but I'm the one handling the admin of all this, aren't I? Trust me, this works out-and it will-I'll get you some spiffy new decals from the guy who gave his Trotter a cutiemark.
 
"That would be nice."
 
>Atta girl, now here's the list, and here's all the documentation. If anyone gives you guff, just remember that you are a royal guard's droid and you are on important business!
 
"Acknowledged!"
 
>Now get in there and make Equestria a better place.
 
The robot trotted in.
 
>And me filthy stinking rich...
 
~~~Five Minutes Later~~~
 
THUMP!
 
The Librarian blinked and turned around, her face the picture of expectancy, could somepony have finally been brave enough to come into her library and check a book, monster be damned-
 
'...'
 
"..."
 
'Can...can I help you?'
 
"I am here to check out these books on behalf of the following individuals."
 
'Wh-what?'
 
"I am Peacetrotter Model: 022, and I am here to check out thirteen books on behalf of thirteen ponies. The books are organized with the proper library card. Your compliance is appreciated."
 
'B-but...I...'
 
Her heart sank, she hung her head.
 
And she slowly stamped each check out date in on the books.
 
'There you go...'
 
"Thank you, have a nice day."
 
'You too...'
 
~~Outside~~
 
>Didja get them?
 
"Affirmative."
 
>Awesome, let's get them to those bookworms, five bits a pop, that's sixty-five bits! We're gonna make a killing on this, Trotty!
 
"Yay?"
 
>Super yay! I'M A GENIUS!
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________