Title:           Thread 75: Stories 16-30
Author:          PrincessApplejack
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/FL2nQP9N
First Edit:      Monday 11th of May 2015 04:37:13 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Monday 11th of May 2015 04:37:13 PM CDT

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>AJ
"18"
~~~
 
>....What, are ya' mad at me too?
 
"I WAS FINALLY FREEEEEEEEEEE!"
 
>Actually? Okay, that one right there's fair, that is fair that ya'll are angry at me about that, and Ah' do not begrudge ya' fer' bein a touch upset that ya'll have ta' deal with them now. Ah' wouldn't wish 'em on anybody, nobody at all. Iffin Ah' had a worst enemy, and Ah' don't think Ah' do, Ah'd still not wish those loud, obnoxious, screeching monsters on anyone in the whole wide world, and Ah'm sorry. Ah' am honestly so... so sorry...
 
"..."
 
>...
 
"..."
 
>...
 
"...well, way to take the wind out of my sails, jerk!"
 
*STOMPSTOMPSTOMPSTOMP*
 
>...Obsessed with a white royal, prissy, snappy, hard workin' but complains a lot... did Rarity's dad sleep with a changelin', by any chance?
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Soarin'
"Fleetfoot"
'WB trainees'
~~~~
 
>...So, she's coming back, right?
 
"Who even fucking knows anymore."
 
>She just said she was learning how to lead better, so I kind of have hope.
 
"You have a spousal abuse problem, is what you have. Me? I just assume she's going to screw it up."
 
>Now, come on, that's really harsh.
 
"..."
 
>...Honest, fine, but harsh.
 
"This shit? This is why I'm enjoying my time before it all burns to the ground."
 
>Uh, just out of curiosity... what, exactly, are we doing in a nightclub?
 
"Public relations."
 
>And the reason you brought all of them here...
 
"To show that we, the Wonderbolts, have increased our numbers in a public setting."
 
>...
 
'WOOO!'
 
'THIS IS THE BEST JOB EVER!'
 
'SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS!'
 
'I DON'T EVEN WORK FOR YOU GUYS!'
 
>...you know Dash is going to be pissed, right?
 
"I have an argument in place."
 
>Oh? What's that?
 
"A-hem... 'you know, Wonderbolt Captains are, by regulation, supposed to inspect any activities done at least once a week. If they do not, them the senior members have authority to sign off on any off-training activities to the best of their ability'. It has been more than a week. I am doing this, and if she wants to stop me, she can fucking be here to stop me."
 
>...You have issues.
 
"I MISS SPITFIIIIIRE!"
 
>...Sometimes?... Me too.
 
"She tried to kick you out of the Games because you got injured."
 
>...
 
"...Oooohhh... point."
 
'WOOOOOOO!'
 
'How is this helping with training?'
 
'...'
 
'...I mean, WOOOOO!'
 
'WOOOOOOOOOOO!'
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
NC
~~~
 
>Hey, I want to discuss the recent promotion of an unqualified individual who got there on connections alone and has been doing a shit job.
 
"Sure! What's their name?"
 
>Rainbow Dash.
 
"...Oh, uh..."
 
>What?
 
"Okay, here's the problem. You want to complain, right?"
 
>Right.
 
Well, seeing as she's captain of a military unit, your options are complaining to Princess Applejack or Twilight, both her dearest friends and the former who put her there in the first place, or barring that you could go a step higher and complain directly to Princess Celestia, whom she has saved both herself and her kingdom on numerous occasions."
 
>...uh...
 
"Or I guess you could sidestep them and appeal to the OTHER princess... you know, the one who Rainbow Dash freed from a thousand years of madness and returned to the throne."
 
>Er-
 
"Or you could go for public appeal, and try to convince everyone that the multiple time savior of Equestria that is beloved in her hometown is a bad pony."
 
>...
 
"..."
 
>...This is fucked.
 
"Yeah, try not to get on her bad side..."
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
NC
~~~
 
 
>Hey, Cadance my love, remember how you are immortal and will last forever and I am mortal and will eventually die, outlived by you? Well, I'd like to have a child to at least give something of me to this world that will outlast me and our marriage.
 
"Nope."
 
>Oh, okay... Eighteen, wanna make kids?
 
'Gladly!'
 
>Huh. Guess Changelings will outlive us ponies eventually.
 
'Less philosophy, more baby-making!'
 
"Nuuu, muh Shiny, I want to keep him all to myself! Stop doing things I wouldn't do for him!"
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>10
"Various"
{BBB}
~~~~
 
>We rolling?
 
{BZZT! CONFIRMED! CAMERA IS ROLLING!}
 
>A-Er... Changeling Ten here, reporting for the Hive Gazette! We're on the scene at the shining jewel of this snowy tundra, the Crystal Empire! The shining shimmering city of love has recently gotten some new additions just a scarce few days ago, and we're here on the scene getting reactions! You, miss! Care to share your thoughts on the recent new changes to the city of love?
 
"Well... I mean, I'm not bothered, they don't do anything but hang around in their own little place. They're not stealing jobs, or trying to take over, they're just sticking around doing their own thing. It's weird."
 
>Uh huh! Well, would you have any problems if they started looking for more positions of work around here?
 
"...Kind of? They live on love, right? So they could do stuff cheaper than I could. I mean, I don't know if that's fair, since everyone deserves a job and we're a lot more open and accepting here in the Empire, but... huh..."
 
>Miss? Did you want to- okay, just going to wander off... you sir! How do you feel about your Empire getting buggier?
 
"They're not here to invade, right? I uh... I have issues with black monsters invading, let's just say."
 
>The official statement is that this is a no, and that relations between ponies and Changelings reached an impasse back in Canterlot that could not be resolved.
 
"Oh... well, I mean, what do I care? Our Princess is the Princess of Love, of course she's going to let needy folks in... kind of wish she had put it to a debate, though, but I get this was a reaction that needed some timely manner."
 
>If it was up for a vote, would you have been in favor of letting them over here?
 
"...Oh! Yes, obviously, we're the Crystal Ponies! Of course we wouldn't force the poor folks to live in a place that won't show them love, that's just not how we are!"
 
>Great to hear and thank you for your time!
 
"Right..."
 
 
>You! Little kid! What's your take on this? The changeling thing, I mean!
 
"I think they're awesome! PEW PEW PEW! I HAVE LASERS AND FLY! FWWOOOOOOSSSHH!"
 
>Well, someone's excited!... What about you, miss? Your boy seems excited, but what's your take on this?
 
"He's not being mind controlled, right?"
 
>...Who?
 
"The prince, be straight with me, no mind control, right?"
 
>No ma'am! That part has been put in the past, officially.
 
"It's just, I really worry about that... a lot. I don't want the Prince to get mind controlled again."
 
>Multiple higher classes, including Princess Celestia herself, have assured there is no mind control going on.
 
"Is she under Mind Control?"
 
>She is not. That was verified by others.
 
"Are THEY under mind control?"
 
>No?
 
"How do you know? Can't she just... mind control everyone?"
 
>Actually, Discord confirmed that's not true, and officially he is more powerful than my Queen is. She couldn't control him.
 
"....Are you suuureee?"
 
>Officially, yes!
 
"...I'm just really bugged by mind control."
 
"AHAHHA!"
 
"..."
 
"...I thought it was funny."
 
>Well, happy to hear opinions from all sides!... Ah, here we go! Mr Guard! How do you feel about the recent immigration?
 
"There's a much bigger disparity of not-really-smart to freakishly-competent-and-awesome than I initially thought... like, I was starting to assume you were just a whole race of hyper competent badasses with amazing skill, but there's a lot of you that can't do a lot of stuff."
 
>Well, that's how it is with every race, isn't it?
 
"Yeahhh... guess so?... or you're all really good at hiding it...
 
>Well, does this change your opinion on if they should be allowed in?
 
"NO NO!'
 
>...
 
"...I mean, no, especially since we here at the guard have formed a very tight relationship with our guest trainer. She has been a vital and helpful friend to us, and we would not like her to go anywhere... even if we do have to put up with the others..."
 
>Glad to hear!
 
"...And I'm finally getting paid on time, so especially not her going anywhere."
 
>What was that?
 
"I said I have to return to my patrol."
 
{BZZT! THAT IS NOT REMOTELY WHAT YOU SAID!}
 
>BBB! Don't be rude!
 
{TELLING IT LIKE IT IS, NOT HOW HE WANTS IT TO BE!}
 
>...You win this round, BBB...
 
"Er, I need to get back to work..."
 
>Only time for one last citizen...
 
{BZZT... ERROR! PLENTY OF TIME FOR-}
 
>HI! You're not a changeling from the ballroom!... Oh that's riiiight! You're the one who moved over here months ago! How do you feel about being reunited with your hive?
 
"..."
 
>...Miss?
 
".....mmeem..."
 
>You, uh...
 
"...mneehhhhh..."
 
>Little camera shy? Oh, don't worry! Camera takes off the pounds, hoofie swear!
 
{BZZT! ERROR! IT-}
 
>BBB!
 
{...bzzt...}
 
>...Now! You- ohhhhkaayyy... fetal position is not necessary. This is not- please stop. Please stop rocking... stooooppp... crap.
 
"Meneeehhhhhh"
 
{...BZZT! SHALL I RETRIEVE THE SMELLING SALTS?}
 
>Don't think that'll help BBB, but thanks, best helper... you need a minute?
 
"babababmeeehhhhh."
 
>...WHELP! That's all the time we have now-
 
{BZZT! WE HAVE PLENTY OF FILM-}
 
>THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE NOW, and we will see you all in the next issue of the Hive Gazette! Telling it like it is, not how they want it to be!... we cut?
 
{AFFIRMITIVE!}
 
>Mmmkay, gonna shuffle this one back into her workplace. Hope 'miss Glitz' here knows what to do with her.
 
{...YOU SHOULD LIFT WITH YOUR LEGS!}
 
>Thanks for looking out for me, but I've got-
*CRACK!
>MY BACK!
 
{...}
 
>...Ahem. You win another round, BBB... now please pick her up, she's starting to cry from me touching her.
 
"Mmneeehhhhhhhhhh!"
 
>I'm starting to see why you moved.
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Citrine
"Changelings"
~~
 
"LEFT!"
 
*THUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP!*
 
"...RIGHT!"
 
*THUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP*
 
"...Left?"
 
"We did that one already."
 
"Oh... other left?"
 
"Is other left right?"
 
"It's whatever you want it to be, baby."
 
"...WHAT!?"
 
>You know, I can just ask them where your Queen is, so that the whole dang hive doesn't have to keep stomping through the castle-
 
"Nah, we got this... OTHER LEFT!"
 
*THUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP*
 
"...DAMN! Dead end again!"
 
>That's the front door-
 
"LEFT! LEFT! LEFT! AND LEFT ONE MORE TIME!"
 
*THUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP*
 
"...DAMN!"
 
>You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?
 
"We lost our 'talk to the Queen so we don't get zapped' guy, give us a break."
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
 >Batmom
"Nightguards"
~~~
 
"Well, look who's finally back!"
 
"Who is that? Been so long I plain don't recognize her!"
 
"Who is she again? Someone's grandma?"
 
"Give her a bit!"
 
>Alright, get it alllll out if your systems.
 
"Well, SOMETHING came out of someone's system here recently!"
 
"Only because something else got in there nice and deep."
 
"Well, we assume deep."
 
"HEYOOOOO!"
 
>Ah ha, ha ha, you guys are great.
 
"That's a pretty practiced acting, I guess you got plenty of chances to hone that fake."
 
"OHHHHHHHH!"
 
"No he did not!"
 
>Get laid? Nope, been a looooong time since that one happened.
 
"HA! Jokes on you, me and my marefriend have been going wild!"
 
>Judging by the look on her face most days, the joke's on someone alright.
 
"HOOOOOO!"
 
"Going for the belt there!"
 
"Ahhhh, you know she needs to vent. Can't be easy when your boytoy is sucking you dry every day."
 
>Not that your marefriend would know anything about that.... YOU on the other hoof...
 
"AND BOOM! BOOM MY FRIENDS HE IS DOWN!"
 
"Ha ha! Oh, okay, fine, you win this one, but only because I'm holding back kid jokes!"
 
>You're just scared I'll knock your lights out.
 
"I'm a nightgaurd, we fight well in the dark."
 
>Pfft... so, what's up for patrols?
 
"You know how it is, pick up the drunk ponies wandering around, try not to arrest someone because they're wearing a cloak."
 
"BUT THEY'RE ALWAYS EVIL! EVERY SINGLE TIME!"
 
"Ugh."
 
>...heh, so, what kind of jokes did you have?
 
"Hm? Oh, most how she's actually cute, and babies using disguise magic can't be healthy."
 
>Pfft, you have no idea...
 
"Welcome back, Glim."
 
>Great to be back.
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Chrysalis
“56”
~~~~
 
>No.
 
“But… but ya didn’t even let me-”
 
>Because the answer is no. En. Oh. No. You will not be returning to Canterlot. Seventy-third time saying it.
 
“Yeah, no, I… I got it, but… not-momma? Take a look at this. Like, jus’ for a sec’.”
 
>Oh, I’m not-momma now? HA, that’s cute! I can tell you’re trying hard to reach them sympathy points, and I applaud the effort. It won’t sway me worth a lick but kudos, little one.
 
“Will ya jus’ look? Please?”
 
Sitting comfortably with her legs neatly tucked underneath her, Chrysalis wanted so desperately to laugh at Fifty-Six as he consistently tugged on a lock of her teal mane, the pouty look on his face utterly adorable.
 
In his waving hoof was a rather thick scroll, one bound with red ribbon.
 
The smile on her face turned kittenish.
 
>Fiiiiine. What’s this you’ve written here, Five-Six? Your Hearth Warming list? Wishing for never-ending booty, hm?
 
“Nuh! This is what I was workin’ on while comin’ to see you, all the reasons why ya oughta let me stay!”
 
And when he unfurled it, not even Chrysalis could keep the mild surprise from her face when the bottom hit the ground and continued to roll… and roll… and roll right out the door.
 
>…Really?
 
“This is the abridged version!”
 
>…pft!
 
At her snort, the little changeling’s face huffed and he continued tugging.
 
“Come onnnnnn! I’m bein’ serious, not-momma! I wanna stay over there! In our first home!”
 
With every pull of her mane, Chrysalis would yank her head the opposite way, causing Fifty-Six to stumbled into her like they were playing some variation of tug-of-war.
 
>Our first home, you say? HA! That wasn’t a home, you little fool. That was a prison. A cage to keep the circus bugs locked up nice and tight.
 
“…Most of my hive buddies were kinda dumb back then, tho’. They needed bars, some of ‘em did.”
 
Pull.
 
Yank.
 
Pull.
 
Yank.
 
>Well, if that ain’t just the pot calling the kettle black. Though, I guess if even you of all my little bugs could see that… hm. Points, little one.
 
“Points? What’s that supposed to m-ACK!”
 
Chrysalis gave a particularly forceful tug of her own and when Fifty-Six came flying into her, her lips met his cheek.
 
>Mwah!
 
“Oh no you jus’ did NOT! SICK! Hivemind above I’ve been poisoned! Help! Someone help, I’ve got not-mom germs! Aaaaaaagh!”
 
His yelling and theatrics were nothing short of endearing to Chrysalis when she noticed that despite his fierce cheek-rubbing, he had yet to let go of her mane.
 
>Still holding on, I see.
 
“Urrrgh… blech! C-course I am! I’m not lettin’ go until you let me stay!”
 
>You’ll be making one hell of an interesting hairpiece, then.
 
“Lemme stay!”
 
>No. Did that helping of love get through okay?
 
“…yeah, it did.”
 
>Good.
 
“…aren’t ya gonna at least read some of the reasons why I want to stay?”
 
>Nope! Because that would give you just the smallest sliver of hope that you might be able to stay, that I might be convinced to change my mind. But I won’t. So there’s no need. The quicker you accept your new… home… the sooner you can get on with getting into other hijinks. You’ll forget all about that pedophile and-ngh!
 
She winced.
 
Oddly, that last tug had hurt.
 
Glancing down, she noticed that the pout from earlier, that childish fuming, all of it had fallen away into a somber expression as Fifty-Six regarded his not-mom with dull rocks rather than gleaming eyes.
 
>…Oho.
 
“You mind if I tell you something, not-queen?”
 
>…
 
Abruptly, she inclined her head towards the youngling until their noses touched, nuzzling him.
 
The fact that he didn’t flinch away in disgust was enough to confirm what she long knew to happen.
 
The schism in his mentality was growing.
 
>NGH!
 
Another sharp tug followed the first and Fifty-Six continued to stare blankly.
 
“Not-queen? I want to tell you something, are you there?”
 
>I’m here, you heavy-hoofed nimrod! Speak already!
 
“Oh. Sorry….”
 
Rolling her eyes, Chrysalis sighed, distributing another love-filled nuzzle.
 
>Don’t apologize. Just spit it out.
 
“…I don’t have Luna’s love.”
 
>You’re damn right you don’t. If you did, Equestria would be short one pedophile princess.
 
He shook his head, reaching up to grab another lock of her mane within his hoof.
 
He gave a tug and Chrysalis allowed herself to be pulled down to his level, until their eyes were even.
 
“No. I mean, I don’t… have Luna’s love.”
 
Slowly, she nodded, as though he were mentally impaired.
 
>Yes, little one, I know.
 
“…You know what I’m trying to say, not-queen.”
 
Hivemind above, she couldn’t keep from smiling at that.
 
>HA, of course I do! I just think it’s more suitable that you say it. This is your punishment, Fifty-Six.
 
“…That’s a tad unfair, isn’t it?”
 
>Unfair?
 
His current queen smiled so wide that her eyes closed.
 
This close, he could feel the malice rolling off her in droves and inched his face back, only to have her loom closer.
 
>Not at all, little one. Normally, I would have killed you by now. You and a few others, really. But you? Definitely dead. So for you to even be breathing right now is unfair to me and the established ways of other Queens on how rebellion is handled.
 
“…”
 
>But, you see, besides my own mom, they all sucked. Because they’re all dead. Except one, but she sucks just as equally. I forge my own queenly path through experimentations and such, seeing what floats and what drowns. I’m not accustomed to disobedience, but with you… there are two things that’s kept you bouncing along as you have. One of those is obviously me, because I’m awesome, and the other is a promise.
 
“…”
 
>Without me, you’d be naturally dead, like everyone else. Without that promise, I would have deep-six’d you awhile ago. You and your other hivemate Two are very much my prime sources of research material, mostly to see how much disobedience I can stomach before instincts overtake me. Well, you, Two, Ten, 18… you four seem the most adamant about doing your own thing. This is probably the first plan I’ve ever had where I didn’t just rush headlong into it. Instead, I’m watching, and waiting, and making notes.
 
And this time, Fifty-Six did somewhat twitch when she nuzzled him again.
 
Because he felt no love passed on.
 
Nothing.
 
Which was somehow remarkably painful, like she had instead siphoned some away.
 
>You have few saving graces, my little numbered changeling. Just as you are one of my most special, you are also among the ones I should probably kill in the present to save myself the trouble further down the line. But for now… merely punishing you will suffice. So, again. Speak.
 
It was something of a testament to his previous mentality, the one currently slipping free, when her blunt admission had nary an effect on the younger changeling.
 
>NGH!
 
In fact, he tugged on her mane again.
 
>Not so rough, damn it!
 
“I don’t have Luna’s love because… she doesn’t love me. She cares for me pretty much to the extent that one can, but love? Like love, love? Nah. She feeds me the same love she would feed her sister.”
 
>Hmhm, so you say.
 
“So you know. You have the ability to read the love of your underlings, it’s how you know how much we need. And I know every time you see me, you give me the once over, physically, mentally, and on the love-scale. If you had even once detected some of Luna’s love in me, the relationship kind of love, you would have stomped it out right then and there.”
 
>More like stomped HER out right then and there, but I digress. Do continue.
 
The tiniest of outlines in Fifty-Six’s jaw began to show and she zoned in on it like a hawk spotting a fat rat desperately trying to hide.
 
“She doesn’t love me. She most likely won’t grow to love me like that until a bajillion years in the future when I’m grown. There. ...And she’s not a pedophile, but you already knew that, you just have a hobby of pushing buttons.”
 
Pull.
 
Yank.
 
 
>Indeed I do. It’s interesting, not to mention balls to the walls funny watching your precious moon-assed mare go all scrunchy-faced whenever I poke at her about you. NGH! Hey!
 
“Can’t you play nice for once, not-queen?”
 
>Can’t you leave my mane alone, not-kid?
 
“No. It’s pretty.”
 
>HA! Flattery will get you everywhere. Except back over there to Canterlot. Oh, don’t frown, you had to have seen that coming. I simply don’t wish for you to be over there with that racist apple whore. She doesn’t like us changelings, you know.
 
“Who, Apple Prime?”
 
>That name is still just so stupid….
 
“If you’re worried about mistreatment, don’t be. She likes me and a majority of the others just fine. It’s you she doesn’t like, not-queen.”
 
>You don’t like me, you don’t like my hive.
 
“You’re not being fair.”
 
>Once again, you could be not alive right now. There’s always that option, that’ll fair things up quite nicely.
 
Fifty-Six reared back onto his hindlegs, reaching up to place his hooves on his not-queen’s shoulders.
 
“Let. Me. Stay.”
 
>Mwah!
 
“…Please stop doing that.”
 
>Mwah mwah mwah!
 
The fourth love-filled kiss caused him to step down, now looking thoroughly annoyed under her smug smirk.
 
>Hey, you got in my space, you have only yourself to blame.
 
“I’m being serious here.”
 
>I know, and it’s damned adorable. Not Two-levels of cute, but pretty close.
 
 
The littler changeling then took to pacing back and forth in front of his not-queen, wholly aware she was following him with gaze alone, her tail lazily swishing behind her as she waited for his next attempt at convincing her.
 
“Okay. I’ll play it this way.”
 
>Feel free, munchkin.
 
“…What’ll take it for you to let me stay over there?”
 
Her eyes flashed, her grin widened.
 
>HA! Seems I’ve taught you something after all… to go right for the money shot. Very well, little one. If you really want to reside in that cramped, racist castle surrounded by those miniscule-brained things called ponies, all you have to do is simply… get Applejack to kneel down before me and kiss my hoof.
 
For only a moment, Fifty-Six stopped his pacing, glancing up at Chrysalis with a deadpan expression.
 
Then he shook his head and continued.
 
“Well, I can’t really call that option unfair. I can definitely call it impossible, but not unfair.”
 
>Exactly. Though… I am willing to take something else as sufficient payment for your border-crossing wishes, Fifty-Six.
 
“Really? What would that b-”
 
He didn’t realize he was no longer pacing until after he’d been lifted into the air, the nape of his neck caught in his not-queen’s mouth.
 
She hefted him effortlessly, even began to hum as she carried her bundle to a full-length mirror, plopping him down before it.
 
>Look there.
 
He obeyed, seeing nothing but himself.
 
>See that? The changeling staring back at us? That’s not Fifty-Six. That’s not the new and improved, rump-crazed Fifty-Six. That’s… the old Fifty-Six. Part of it. That’s you. And I don’t like you.
 
“…Ouch.”
 
>You are a relic, Fifty-Six. And relics need to remember their place in history, as in, they need to remain in the past where they belong. I get that what happened was terrible and you regret it and you just want a second chance, I do, I get that completely. But not this way, not by creating confusion within yourself to the point where it’s like two psyches residing in the same body. That’s not harmony, it’s fucking chaos, and it’s not safe. YOU… are not safe, to yourself. So long as you exist, you will never find peace and always wonder.
 
“…”
 
Silently, she watched as he closed his eyes.
 
“…So I need to go away. That’s what you want in exchange.”
 
>It’s not what I want. It’s what you need. It’s what you need to happen. You won’t find peace otherwise. You can’t remember what happened, and I made a promise never to tell you. I might be the bitch queen but I hold my promises, mister. So long as your curiosity remains, past and present mentalities will mix and mingle until your brain is reduced to mush. And not even your near-invulnerability can protect you from within. You need to vanish. Completely.
 
Something of a twitch shook Fifty-Six’s shoulder. It was a slight movement but Chrysalis caught it and nudged him with a hoof.
 
>Look on the positive side. Do this and you can continue to come and go as you please to Canterlot. That’s a positive, I’m giving you a choice. That’s beyond fair. That’s more fair than you deserve for your actions… but your more past actions warrant this much.
 
“Yeah. The past actions I’ll never be able to remember.”
 
Fifty-Six spun on his rear-end and leaned against one of his not-queen’s legs, sighing against it.
 
 
“I’ll never find out where I came from. I’ll never find out who my real Queen was. I’ll never find out what happened. I’ll never find out why I’m stronger than the others-”
 
>You’re not stronger than the others, little one, not even close. Forty-Two could lay you flat with a single punch. It wouldn’t hurt much, if at all, but you’d still lose. What you and Two have over them is durability, endurance. Hell, you got your face melted off when you put it between Celly’s blazing hot ass and came out fine besides a little peeling.
 
“…”
 
>Yes, I know of that.
 
“In my defense, it was really, really soft and smelled like-”
 
>LALALALALA ANYWAY! That’s what I want you doing with you freedom. Acting stupid, enjoying yourself. You did a great thing for your previous Queen, and you suffered horribly in the fallout. But that’s in the past. Not that far in the past by our time but still. You have a second chance. I just want you to make the best of it.
 
A second of silence stretched into minutes.
 
He reached up, once more grabbing onto Chrysalis’s mane.
 
Pull.
 
>…
 
Yank.
 
“If… if I go… then I can stay?”
 
>Yes.
 
“And if I stay… then that means that I’ll be able to shove my face into Auntie Chitty’s plot one day, right?”
 
>Ye-wait, what?
 
“It’s soooooo big! Like, it’s already big as it is but when she goes titan huge? I have no words, not-mom. No words at all.”
 
Just as Chrysalis had no words. She knew what had happened, that part of Fifty-Six’s mentality had willfully pulled itself back, she just hadn’t expected it to go so quickly.
 
>NGH!
 
“You in there, not-mom?”
 
>Where else would I be, you incestuous little bug? Yes I'm here!
 
He beamed up at her.
 
“Good, ‘cause I feel a little dizzy, a bit nauseous actually….”
 
>Don’t worry, you’re about to feel nothing at all for a few seconds.
 
“Wha-”
 
A dazzling green flash enveloped the room, freezing Fifty-Six in spot when she bent down, touching her horn to his.
 
She dug through his mind with practiced ease, free flowing all around his subconscious as though caught in a stream.
 
The schism, she saw, was very much tearing, growing wider, and was the widest she’d ever seen it.
 
>…Which means I’ll undoubtedly be having another chat with my dear friend Luna.
 
Previously blank-faced, small signs of discomfort showed themselves in the form of twitches that racked the younger changelings body as Chrysalis set to work stitching him back together.
 
>A queen’s work is never done, I swear.
 
~~~~~
 
“…I have a headache.”
 
>HA, you? My, aren’t we selfish! I’ve got a migraine from hell over here thanks to all that hair tugging!
 
“What did you do to me, not-mom? And what were we even talkin’ about? My head feels fuzzy….”
 
>You were trying to convince me to let you stay over there in Canterlot. I said no. But then you did a jig that made me laugh and I changed my mind.
 
Fifty-Six scratched at his noggin, looking both confused and dubious.
 
“I… did? I don’t remember that….”
 
>Well, you can’t dance for shit so you slipped and konked your bean on the floor, took a good two hour coma there. I gave you the once over and you’re better now.
 
“Oh. Huh, I guess that makes… sense? Alright. So, uh… I can stay? Over there?”
 
Chrysalis shrugged, busy using both the mirror and magic in an effort at untangling the knots Fifty-Six had snatched into her hair.
 
>You held up your end of the deal and let yourself go. If you want to join the Lunar Guard, despite the hardships and backlash you’ll undoubtedly face along the way, hey, be my gue-what in the…?
 
Focus broken, she glanced into the mirror to see Fifty-Six nuzzling his cheek against her hips and wearing the dopiest of grins.
 
>…What in the hell are you doing?
 
“Lovin’ you!”
 
That much was wholly apparent. Chrysalis could feels waves of genuine love pouring into her from the little youngling, almost enough to match the amount she’d given him.
 
>I can see this. I can feel it, even. But why?
 
“’Cause you’re a great mom who’s not a mom!”
 
>…
 
“I didn’t do anything and you’re lettin’ me stay in Canterlot! You’re even alright with me joinin’ the Lunar Guard!”
 
>HA! Oh boy, are you ever wrong. I am not alright with that, so much so that if you do manage to somehow get in, I’ll be stopping by to see your performance, be a little cheering section. You may be allowed to go over there but I will be keeping a close eye on you, little one.
 
 
“Jus’ like a good mom.”
 
>I AM NOT YOUR DAMN MOTHER!
 
“Whatever ya say, not-mom! Anything else before I go? I gotta get crackin’ if I wanna be able to protect y’all!”
 
>…Glad to see some traits remain, I guess.
 
“Huh?”
 
>Nothing. Oh! Wait, there is something, I almost forgot. There’s a message I’d like you to pass on.
 
“Okay!”
 
>Be sure that you tell our dear friend Luna that if she mentions even a word of anything she knows about you, and I mean if she even fixes her mouth to utter a squeak… that I will be very, very upset. And we wouldn’t want to viciously curbstomp a budding friendship, right?
 
He caught the message.
 
But he missed the underlying message.
 
“Right!
 
>Good boy. Also, let her know that even though I’m allowing you some visitation rights, I’m not going to stop with the pedo-jokes, just saying. I’ve been doing it for so long it’s more a reactionary tick than anything purposeful. Now run along, I’ve got to figure out a way to get these knots out without shaving my head bald….
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Spike
"DT"
'Daw'
-41-
=SS=
 
>So you just went and left pretty much all the guards trapped in a simulation-
 
'To join you!'
 
>Not good on your resume!
 
"Yes, she is already sabotaging herself."
 
'Aw bite me, it was empty and I thought the alien knew how to turn it off!'
 
-Not an alien!-
 
'You never answered about the pony pods!'
 
-NO COMMENT!-
 
=You guys have pony pod-=
 
-No. Comment.-
 
"You know denial just-"
 
-HEY LOOK IT'S THE SIMULATOR!-
 
>Alright, let's see about...huh...
 
'What huh?'
 
>I thought you said they killed everything in there.
 
'I did.'
 
>Then why is the monitor showing them...whoa...
 
'Whoa? What-aw cripes.'
 
"What the FUCK is that supposed to be!?"
 
-...why does that bull head have tentacles for horns? Why does it have nine...ten...eleven...twelve eyes? Why does it- -
 
=TURN IT OFF!=
 
>Right, yeah, definitely doing that, escape button!
 
-Oh for fuck's sake it was the escape button!? Really?!-
 
>Yeah, why wouldn't it be?
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Pommel
"SP"
'Haymaker'
-Lucky-
=Guards=
~Red~
 
We join our heroes huddling inside a building trying not to die.
 
>Okay, so a horrifying amalgamation of a guy I killed and a thing I helped kill has come back for revenge because of course they would. Punch, buddy? Pal? Please tell me your friend is going to come back soon.
 
"My friend is going to come back soon."
 
>Please mean it.
 
"Can't, too scared."
 
'Let's just lay low and hope it doesn't-'
 
~YOOOOOU!~
 
-You were saying?-
 
A giant eyeball regards the guards from outside the small household every single guard had managed to squeeze themselves into.
 
=In retrospect this was a horrible idea.=
 
=Why'd we even do this?=
 
=I don't know, I just wanted to be popular!=
 
~GIVE. ME. THE. WHITE. ONE.~
 
"'-=Which one?=-'"
 
>...yeaaaah, which one?
 
The eye blinked, regarding the rather large amount of stark white stallions in the home.
 
~TRICKS WILL NOT SAVE YOU!~
 
=Hey fuck off, you big freak, we won't let you take any of us!=
 
=Especially not the captain!=
 
=And not just because we'd probably get stuck with Haymaker if he died!=
 
'HEY!'
 
>Wow, I am both flattered and kind of pissed about that.
 
"Less talky, more standoffy!"
 
=Wait, if this thing kills all of us, wouldn't that mean we failed the simulation and just get kicked out?=
 
-Good idea! Everyone into its mouths!-
 
~I WILL DIGEST YOU ALL OVER THE COURSE OF A MILLENIA!~
 
-NEW PLAN, DON'T DO THAT!-
 
~GIVE ME BRONZE POMMEL! YOU WILL ALL BE SPARED!~
 
"Oh bullshit, evil monstrosities never keep their word!"
 
'Especially ones that look as ugly as you!'
 
-We'd rather die!-
 
"Er, I'd rather win, but yeah, preferable to surrendering to the giant evil tentacle bull!"
 
=Yeah what's the worst that could happen?=
 
~GRAAAAAARGH~
 
The eyeball explodes into tentacles.
 
=THAT! THAT IS THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN!=
 
"Dude, gross."
 
>On the bright side, it just made a gaping wound for us to attack! All unicorns, BLAST THE BASTARD!
 
=YEAH!=
 
Bwoop
 
_Simulation Terminated_
 
>"'-=...=-'"
 
>Huh.
 
"Well that's a relief."
 
'Kind of anticlimax.'
 
-Hey, it's better than being digested for a hundred years.-
 
=Millenia's a thousand years, lieutenant.=
 
SMACK!
 
=OW!=
 
-No backtalk outta you, dress-hater!-
 
>Okay, so all in favor of that pizza party?
 
"Dude, I just saw an eyeball explode into tentacles, no thank you. I don't think I'll eat...ever."
 
>All in favor or cowering in fear in a corner while I try to fight off the urge to nuke the simulator from orbit while I make a report?
 
"'-=AYE!=-'"
 
>Dismissed!
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Spike
"Pommel"
'Daw'
-DT-
 
>...
 
"..."
 
>Dude was that-
 
"Kind of, yeah!"
 
>What the fuck-?
 
"I DON'T KNOW!"
 
>How!?
 
"I don't know!"
 
'I'm just gonna whistle in the corner.'
 
"WHAT DID YOU DO!?"
 
'Nothin'! I didn't do anything with that, ask the alien...who just ran off with her beau. Presumably to the pony pods.'
 
>Enough about the pony pods!
 
"Pony pods, what pony pods?"
 
'They're real I tells ya!'
 
>They're also irrelevant, so no more talking about them or I'm throwing your application out the window!
 
-DON'T STOP TALKING ABOUT THE PONY PODS!-
 
"Oh you're trying to get in the Gun Club? Cool-"
 
-YOU SHUT UP OR THE BOTS STAY!-
 
"...but I will remain impartial because my station of blah blah blah."
 
'Traitor!'
 
>Can PLEASE talk about the horrible monster that came out of nowhere!?
 
"...we may need to find Princess Sparkle."
 
'No shit, Fetlock.'
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Red
"Brahmos"
 
Within the endless sea of ones and zeroes the monstrous beast slowly dissipated into a cloud of red haze, its solid form as ethereal as the data that spawned it.
 
>Split.
 
"Good going you big red imbecile!"
 
>Revenge.
 
"That we're not going to get now! I know what you know and I know the second this Princess Sparkle wench sets her mind to it we are history!"
 
>Untrue.
 
"Oh do give it up, all she needs to do is find which file you're hiding us in, then delete it!"
 
>Plan.
 
"Oh YOU have a plan, fantastic, and what is that Mr. One Liner?
 
>Copy. Paste.
 
Floating next to the first red cloud was another, smaller, paler, almost pinkish.
 
>Distraction.
 
"Hm, a pale imitation, but possibly one that could let us continue operating...yes, yes I see. Alright then, but no more going off half-cocked like that. We need to find a way to strike that will make us not only reap vengeance on that insignificant little worm, but put us on the road to claiming what we seek.
 
>Kill. Alicorn.
 
"...I was going for world domination but hey, one will lead into the other. Gonna get me back in there then?"
 
>Merge.
 
"Great Bull, this still feels weeeeirrrr-"
 
The Minotaur was once again absorbed into the cloud. It regarded its copy as much as a formless cloud of equally formless data could regard something.
 
>Go, and make it obvious...but not TOO obvious.
 
'Acknowledged.'
 
And it was off, leaving the original to plot and scheme for however long it would take to bring forth its schemes to fruition...or get caught again, whichever came first.
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
 >SA
"Celestia"
'???'
~~~
 
>...You ever feel like we're too silly?
 
Thoughtfully, Celestia adjusted her mustache, before sternly shaking her head.
 
"No, we are the very picture of seriousness."
 
Shining Armor frowned, idly rubbing his makeup covered cheek. He hoped it would not smear, clowns are supposed to take pride in their faces.
 
>True, but do you think others might see us that way?
 
Celestia sighed, pulling her leotard up a bit higher, as it had begun to slip.
 
"As rulers, we must put ourselves through the views of our citizens, and listen to their cries. However, sometimes they go off information that is erroneous. This is not their fault, but ours that we have failed to show them the truth, and as such we must take responsibility, or wait for them to learn on their own. Both paths are hard, and take time, but they will eventually learn the truth.
 
Sadly, he nodded, hefting up another batch of pies.
 
>I suppose you are right... still, it is quite worrying
 
She 'hrmphed' hefting a large amount of weights.
 
"If we did not worry for them, THEN we would not be serious in our ruling."
 
>Now that, I can agree on... well, shall we show them how serious we are?
 
"Of course."
 
'MMMMMMAAAAARES AND GENTLECOLTS! GET READY FOR THE MOST AMAZING SHOW ON EARTH! THE STRONGEST PONY IN THE WORLD, AND THE AMAZIIIIING SHINYBOPPER!'
 
>Unoriginal.
 
"But she makes up for it with gusto. Shall we?"
 
>No no, after you.
 
"Always the gentlecolt.... YEAHHHHHH!"
 
>YEEEEAHHHHHH!
 
>"YEAAAAHHHHHHH!"
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Sunset
"Variolus"
~~~
 
>...
 
"You seem ponderous."
 
>I'm thinking if I want to ask you a question or not.
 
"Please, by all means, I could use some humor right now."
 
>Hence my hesitation...
 
"Oh, please, we both know you can't hold it in, speak."
 
>...Was she always like this?
 
"Who?"
 
>...Chitania.
 
It always annoyed her when her reflection turned coy.
 
"Ahhhh, you wish to know of how she was in the time so very long ago?"
 
>Call it a curiosity.
 
"Come now, surely your mentor has described her previous roles and her hoof in our eventual end?"
 
>...No. She hasn't. Neither Applejack or Twilight have told me anything. I don't know what she was like, what she meant to someone like Chrysalis or anything like that. All of her files were kept in that same place with her journal decoding, which...
 
"...Chitania had a journal? Like... like a little diary? HA! AHHAHAHAHA!"
 
>It's not that funny...
 
"Ohhh... story of your life, is it not? Someone keeps something of great importance from you, and you never truly understand."
 
>...
 
"It would be so easy for them to speak of what she was, wouldn't it? I wonder if they fear it would color your sight of her, that you would think her something different..."
 
>No, pretty sure she was always a rage monster.
 
"Oh, that she was. No doubt she kicked her way out of her mother's womb with a single punch, but that's not all the story, is it? And they have that story, but they will not give it to you. So much they hide away, for so little reason."
 
>It is pretty annoying. If they'd just tell me, I can work on getting to her abilities a lot easier. Hiding this away doesn't help me figure out how to gain her powers.
 
"But oh, you have so little room to call them on it, do you not?"
 
Playfully, the apparition tapped it's chest.
 
"You are not exactly in the position to call on those who would hide away the truth."
 
>...Fine, point. But I hide stuff away because they wouldn't understand, they do it because they think I'll misuse it, but I won't. I've changed, I want to use it for the better... they wouldn't understand yet.
 
"I wonder what life would have been like, had they simply told you what you wished to know..."
 
>...Real knowledge is earned, not given.
 
"Hmmm... I suppose you have a point."
 
>...You never answered my question.
 
"So I did not, what are the odds?"
 
>...Fuck you.
 
"Give me a body and I'll show you such amazing things."
 
>...When I vomit, what's going to come out? I'm honestly curious.
 
"As you said... real knowledge is gained, not earned."
 
>For example, 'what to do NOT to have your head ripped off'.
 
"....fuck you."
 
>Only you would think that me wanting to throw up at the thought would be a 'yes'. You weird alien things need to learn that no means no.
 
"... I feel like I'm going to enjoy our time together."
 
>That makes one of us.
 
"Oh, give it time... you will come to love it as well."
 
>...You see what that sounds like, right?
 
Honest confusion was her only answer.
 
"What?"
 
>Somehow, that doesn't surprise me.
 
"..."
 
>...No means no.
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>18
"42"
~~~
 
>...So, as far as date etiquette goes, is it first date equals first base, second to second and so on and so forth?
 
"...You can't be serious. "
 
>Hey, you hang out with Cadence all the time, I figured she'd go into that at some point.
 
"No, she never has."
 
>Are you sure?
 
"I can tell you, with perfect precision, every single conversation I've had with her for the last six months, and I assure you that the topic of how many s-s... what the scale for intimate acts are. That has never come up."
 
>...you can seriously recall all of them?
 
"Three weeks ago, she was discussing the merits of sparkles on a crystal pony's eye shadow, dictating that the different hues of sparkle will draw them away from their coat and to their eyes."
 
>...
 
"Four months, two days ago, Chrysalis is pushing her luck with the soap stealing, and she is debating the merits of putting itching powder in them. She did eventually go through with it, but an unfortunate mishap meant that Shining Armor needed a tomato bath."
 
>...
 
"Six months, six days ago-"
 
>Got the point.
 
"...I like to hear her talk."
 
>...Huh.
 
"Why are you giving me that look? You have to listen to her more than I do, if this works out."
 
>Oh... yeah... guess so?
 
"..."
 
>...So do you think Celestia would know, or-
 
"I somehow doubt that she would be up to date on date etiquette."
 
>Fair enough.... Twilight?
 
"..."
 
>...I need a bigger pool of friends who date.
 
"It's a shallow puddle, I'll admit it."
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________