Title: Thread 75: Stories 1-15 Author: PrincessApplejack Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/cLNpmSfb First Edit: Monday 11th of May 2015 04:31:03 PM CDT Last Edit: Monday 11th of May 2015 04:31:03 PM CDT https://archive.moe/mlp/thread/22908818/ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   [Editor's note: The writer for Trenderhoof's Stalliongrad story dropped the entire planned storyline in the thread because they doubted they'd ever finish it. In case they return, beware of MASSIVE spoilers. Otherwise, this is here so you can read what could have been but never was. None of this happened In-Canon, as of archieving of this thread.]   Stalliongrad:   >Bullshevicks kidnapped Trender and sent a shitty 'I'm perfectly fine' letter   >10 doesn't believe it for a second   >Ends up going to 32, who notices that it'd be a very dumb idea to just leave possibly the first pony in history to knowingly be employed by a changeling to just die in a frozen hellhole   >Asks for assistance, someone stealthy, enter 77.   >10 demands to tag along with BBB, all three go to Stalliongrad and meet with the Hooviets who are planning on storming the capitol with their infusions and overthrow the Bullshevicks.   >10 and 77 convince them to hold off just long enough for them to bust Trender out of the prison on the outskirts he's being held in.   >10 and BBB act a distraction by managing to convince the Premier they want an interview, the Premier being a vain bastard, agrees...after he's dealt with his guests.   >Enter Pennydrop and co.   >Penny is delivering the 'Ogre', a special massive combat mech to clean up the mess her subordinate -who is being held in the same place as Trender- created by giving the Hooviets infusions.   >10 and BBB are brought along to the unveiling, trying to 'subtly' convince PD not to do this.   >PD unveils the mech, suggests the Premier's head general be the one to pilot it. The general enters...   >"Activate unauthorized pilot countermeasures."   >It's all a trap, the mech locks the general inside itself before locking itself into position.   >"Broadcast override, Codename: Do-Over."   >The Bullshevick bots are reset to factory defaults, read: Loyal only to PD.   >PD has the mech broadcast a speech via the speakers in the bots, telling the Bullshevicks to stand down or be wounded.   >A few distant gunshots.   >"Some people just don't listen these days."   >PD has the bots escort 10 and BBB away to a meeting room before turning her attention to Premier Victory.   >"Do you know what utopia is...okay, cut the bullshit, what's your real name?"   >"I-Ivan..."   >"Ivan, no wonder you chose a pseudonym. Look, Ivan, do you know what a utopia is-no, no of course you don't, look at what you've done. Done, not accomplished, you haven't accomplished shit besides nearly screwing the pooch so hard for me that you were practically asking it 'was it good for you too?' No, let me tell you what utopia is, utopia is progress, a bright gleaming spire of hope and beauty that makes all other civilizations pale in comparison. And those paling civilizations, well, it doesn't take long for them to start asking questions: 'What makes them so great?' 'Why can't we have what they have?' 'What's holding us back?' And then the accusations begin to fly, 'Well obviously it's the rich, they won't share their money!' 'Well obviously it's the poor, they do not work hard enough to pick up the slack!' It's the clergy, it's the godless, it's the people down the lane, it's the Faustdamn ziggers! Sorry for the language, but I'm not exactly speaking of smart people here. So utopia, questions, accusations, you following me, Ivan? Here comes the fun bit, because they'll debate for a while, they'll pretend to be civil, but then comes the revolutions, the civil wars, the atrocities. Those nations are going to need order, stability, they're going to need Fawntaine bots to patrol the streets and overthrow the oppressors, they're going to need Fawntaine infused soldiers to beat back the violent rebels and stand up for the rights of the little people. Can you see it Ivan? Can you see the money, the power, the prestige? It's all at my hooftips, and that's why I'm going to make Equestria a utopia, because a utopia shines so bright...and sheds one hell of a profitable shadow."   >"Wh...why are you telling me this?"   >"Because you're about to get torn apart by a lynch mob of Hooviet sympathizers as I turn this whole country over to them, and like hell are they going to listen to you."   >She has him put under guard by a squad of bots, same with his generals and underlings.   >She makes her way to where 10 and BBB are held.   >"I understand you're here for an interview."   >Cue her giving the fakest, most buzzword laden, whitewashing interview possible.   >Meanwhile 77 has infiltrated the camp to break out Trender.   >We Solid Batman now, taking advantage of the robots turning on the Bullshevicks to his advantage, he finds Trenderhoof right next to a heavily drugged up salespony (Eddie Burneighs from like forty threads ago) muttering about how 'Penny' abandoned him.   >77 resolves to bring them both in.   >Enter Snake Eyes.   >Fight between the two with Snake Eyes 'winning' by managing to alert the bots to 77's nature as a changeling and forcing him to retreat with Trender.   >10 and BBB are sent on their to meet with 77 at a rendezvous point as the Hooviets march victoriously into the city.   >PD hands Ivan over to Josef Stallion who makes a speech declaring that Stalliongrad is free at last and that the Hooviets will turn it into a true haven for everyone who wishes to flee from the yoke of Kings and Queens.   >10, BBB, 77, and Trender reunite, finally return to Equestria.   >Penny gracefully agrees to take back her 'treacherous bots' and manages to convince Stallion to let her supply his regime with infusions.   >Possible Antlers/Fawntaine thing here, I never really decided.   >PD and co. leave, she applauds the Salespony on his thinking outside the box...and promptly strands him in the harsh tundra, leaving him for dead.   ...that was the rough plan anyway. I've kind of mentally dubbed this as PD's 'Scott Tenorman Moment'.   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >Twilight „Dollestia“ ~~~~   Dodging left around a corner to evade the line-of-sight Twilight needed to hold her in place with telekinesis, Celestia's dollified self mulled over her current course of action.   „Hmm. Maybe I ought to let Twilight catch me. I am sure no greater harm than already done would be befall anypony should I tell her what I know.“   >Stop that doll!   Feint to the right, then duck left.   „On the other hoof, I haven't had this much fun in a long time.“   With a brisk speed that made her hooves blur, the little doll rubbed her little golden horseshoes together, causing them to hum and glow in a brilliant light.   „But from what I could hear and see, Sunset might be in a lot of trouble. She might harm herself out of hubris. Again.“   Setting all fours onto the smooth, polished castle floor, the conscious of the princess from several years ago focuses on her inner flame. Small as it was, and certainly not enough to affect the sun, she still could cause a blazing inferno.   „So why am I running from what I gather is Sunset's successor again?“   Twilight shot around the corner just in that moment, mane disheveled, crown askew, eyes wild.   >Please, stop, I have so many questions!   „Ah, right. Avoiding work and responsibilities. Business as usual. FLAME ON!“   With a puff of flame and the sound of metal screeching against marble, the little Celestia-doll shot off, leaving deep furrows in the ground as she skated on a mixture of energy and heat.   „You are at least 200 years too early to catch me, Twilight Sparkle!“   And with a frustrated growl, Twilight teleported after her.   >AAAUGH!   Five minutes later, on the same spot, a highly frustrated castle janitor lost most of his mane to frustrated tearing.   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >Chitania "PM" ~~~~   She didn't like this time.   It's true that, technically, she didn't have to be here right now, in the hotel room that had practically become her temporary home for all intents and purposes, but the mare slash food source of the Titan just could not bring herself to leave. She wished she was back at the library, she was pretty far into her most recent book, almost all the way through even! But she dared not go out, not alone.   Mostly because ponies bothered her when she was out alone, but nobody started nothing when she had Chitania there with her. Something about hanging with the monster who stomped their city flat told them to back off, and they listened.   She didn't have to be here technically.   But she had to be here just the same.   Be here, watching, while her 'employer' took apart that nice robot she was super hopeful she could have later with a careful, almost easy precision. She didn't think it was possible for such massive hooves to be so careful, but they were. She was making damn sure not to break a thing, and pulling it off wonderfully.   "Sooooo... what're ya' doing with this thing anyway?"   >I am learning.   "Oh... okay. What for?"   >The advancement in Golems of this age hold many secrets even they might not fully comprehend yet, I will exploit them.   "Robots."   >...Come again?   "They're called robots, not golems."   >No, they're golems.   "...Yer right! They're golems, I'm wrong, sorry."   >Better.   She knew she hadn't been making the other 'mad' persay, though admittedly it was hard to tell, but she also knew that if she DID make her mad, she was right back out on the streets, and Chitania would just go pick up one of her friends for this job. This was, by far, the cushiest gig she had ever had bar none, not even close. Not something you want gone because of inability to shut the hell up.   "So, uh... what'cha gonna do with 'em?"   >Do not concern yourself with the matter.   "Awww, come, on, ya'll can tell me! I ain't no snitch. Snitches get stitches where I'm from, and that's if we're bein' nice."   She gave her a look.   Just a look.   And the mare promptly stopped that.   "...Nevermind."   >Good.   "...How'd ya' get so good at not breakin' stuff?"   >Violins and cellos, mostly.   She had hoped for some kind of elaboration there.   She got none.   "Oh, okay... can ya' play them?"   She grunted, but said nothing more.   "...Iffin' yer' gonna blow this place up, uh... can ya' just give me a chance ta' get out of the way? Ain't askin' ta' hold off! Just... gimme a headstart?"   Silence was the mares only answer.   At least, until the other one sighed.   >I'm not going to blow this place up.   "Oh... phew!"   >But if I destroy it, fine. I'll tell you to run in the direction I'm not crushing, but I'm not getting you to safety.   It was rather cruel, if she thought about it, that this would be the best she would get. That even though she was keeping her from literal death by starvation, all she'd get is a bare warning.   But, as someone who had spent a lot of time with the Titan... it made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside.   "Thanks."   A grunt, and she was back to work.   In silence, the mare sat, and waited.   This room wasn't that bad.   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >42 "77" '88' ~~~~   >...I have questions.   "She is attempting, I repeat, ATTEMPTING, to hear stuff while flying so she may fly again."   CRASH!   'DAMN IT!'   "She is not succeeding."   >I can see that.   'I CAN'T!'   >That's a very negative outlook.   "Sister please, not again..."   >Oh, fine.   "...Have you spoken with our friends yet?"   >Hm? Oh, yes, I spoke briefly with Spike. Why?   "I am just wondering how they are taking everything. Due to her... condition, I have not had the chance to go through the portal yet, and have not spoken to any of them."   >He remains firmly on the side of Applejack, that is all I need to know.   "Oh? What of Diamond Tiara? Surely you have support on the matter from her, she's hardly in Applejack's favor there."   >I would not know, I have not had the chance to speak to her yet.   "Oh..."   >Is something the matter, brother?   "Well, yes... I'm wondering why she hasn't come to see how we are doing. We had to leave rather abruptly, I hoped she would be worried on the matter."   >She worries for very little besides herself, I've noticed.   "Poppet is quite abrasive, but she has a goodness in her. I'm sure she is just waiting until the suspicion for her weakness is off her, and she will show herself to us and ensure we are alright."   >If you say so.   "....She's caught on the chandelier, isn't she?"   'NOBODY HELP ME! I AM DOING THIS ON MY-'   CRASH!   >...   'I did it on my own, that's the important part.'   >...   "Say, would you be willing to watch-"   >No.   "Can't blame a ling for trying..."   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________    >Pommel "SP" 'Haymaker' -Lucky Strikes- =Red=   We join our intrepid heroes as they boldly run the hell away from the advancing doom of the...well the general destruction surrounding it makes it rather hard to actually make out other than it's really really red.   "Never a dull moment, huh cap?"   'WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING!?'   >Something horrible! Something very very horrible!   -That kinda perception's gonna make ya a great captain, surely!-   >You and I saw the same thing, don't even pretend!   -I LOOKED INTO THE EYES OF MADNESS! I DIDN'T CARE TO WIN THAT STARING CONTEST!-   =GRAAAAARGH!=   >This is fucking Chitania all over again!   'Nobody jump in that thing's mouth!'   -Which mouth!? I SAW MANY!-   'Punch, please psychically will your marefriend to get someone back here faster!'   "One, not my marefriend, two-"   Behind the guards, a grand spire of the city crashes across the thoroughfare, brought down by an errant tentacle.   "-WHAT DO YA THINK I'VE BEEN DOING!?"   =RAAAAARGH!=   >"'-OH SHUT THE FUCK UP!-'"   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >SA "Chrysalis" ~~~~   >...Absolutely not.   "What!? I think they need training in this area! I just want to use that range over there."   >No. No no no. No. No. Noooo... nooooooppppe... No. nein. Neit. NON.   "I'm not even asking you to sign off on it! It's a barren wasteland of snow, I'm just saying don't send your damn guard over there!"   >NO NO NO NO NO NOPE! CHRYSALIS NO!   "What's the problem!?"   >You don't see the problem with you training your hive to use FIREARMS?!   "Ponies have a lot of them!"   >Ponies also aren't BULLETPROOF if you charge them up with love!   "All the more reason it's safe for them to train with them."   >CHRYSALIS NO.   "I'm just trying to stay on the technological curve."   >...Please?   "Don't you dare."   >Pleeeeeease don't hand your hive a bunch of guns and teach them to shoot them?   "Not gonna work, hive is important."   >Pretty please?   "Nope."   >...I will hug you.   "..."   >...   "...Seriously?"   >Dead serious, right now, TEN SOLID MINUTES, real hugs not 'I don't want to be here but you're my mother in law' hugs, if you promise not to train your whole hive with how to use firearms.   "..."   >...   "...Five minutes and I can train a FEW."   >Chrysalis.   "A FEW."   >...One of those few has to be Forty Two, and she gets to tell you when to stop.   "DEAL! Now... hug me!"   >...for the good of the world, Shiny... for the good of the world.   "..."   >...I actually don't mind hugging you.   "And I was never going to do more than a few of them anyway, most of them should not even be around a firework, let alone a bullet."   >...We have a weird relationship.   "I noticed that."   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >SP "41" 'Changelings'   "Hey guys, I brought Sucker Punch with me!"   >Hey, who wants to play some facepu-   'HEADSHOT!'   >Wha-?   "NO!"   BLAM!   'Wow, he sucks at this.'   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   NC >Crystal Guard 1 "CG 2"   >This seems a bit excessive.   Blam!   "Don't know what you mean."   Bang bang!   >Arming them like a few days aftercthey got here.   "Naaaaah."   Boom!   >Like, couldn't one of them try applying to be a baker or a tailor or-   "Shit's great, shut up."   Dakka dakka dakka   >That one is really keen on shooting up the statue of that dragon kid who saved us.   "I think that's their Queen, actually."   'HA!'   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   NC [Premise: AJ takes Charity to try and off herself] >Charity ~~~~   >No, sorry, dear, not today.   >Oh! Tried to do it while I was sleeping, hmm? Afraid not, now get some rest! What're you doing up at this hour anyway?   >Really, dear? I'm in the shower. Clever, but alas, for naught.   >Goodness me, you're squeezing my trigger so tight I'm supposed you haven't cracked your hoof!   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   ´>AJ “Chefs” ~~~~ >AH’MSOSORRYYYYYYYYYYyyyyy….   With all the force of a hurricane, Applejack had blown into the kitchen area, scaring all the cooks within as her body launched her over countertops and tables, knocking over bowls and plates in her wake.   There were no words as the chefs watched, motionless, as their princess fixed two mugs of cider in such a chaotic way that it would have caused Discord himself to take notes.   By the time she robotically soared from the kitchen, giving her frantic yell of apology, it looked a nuke of frosting and fettuccini had been dropped.   “…So. Anyone care to hazard a guess as to what that was all about?”   “What? You’ve been working in this kitchen, in this castle, for over sixteen years, man. And you’re STILL questioning weird shit?”   "Seriously."   “You know what? Point. Nevermind. Someone get me a broom and dustpan.”   “I’ll grab the mop.”   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >Sunset "Variolus" ~~~   >...You know, I never realized before, but this power has a lot of abuse possibilities.   "Really. You just noticed that. Just this second.... I have clearly allied myself with brilliance."   >I'm serious! It doesn't even have to be big stuff. Like...   FWOOSH!   >Oh my! That spa is absolutely dreadful, wouldn't you agree? I have never seen a more horrid establishment in my life!   "...Huh."   >Or no, even better!   Fwoosh!   >Oh yeah, that place. Listen, Shining got me a free meal from there, and... well... let's just say he was sleeping on the couch that day. Ugh, what terrible food.... and then boom! Papers explode, "Princess Cadenza hates Chateau de Daisy!" and that business is ruined.   "...Huh."   >Not to mention me just going into a porno theater and making "Princess of ALL loves!"... Nobody would ever believe it wasn't her, and so long as I use a pseudonym and never claim I'm her it's totally legal!... not that it would matter with her.   "Oh?"   >Ugh... listen, this is me getting into character... a-hem... OHMIGOOOOSH! Isn't this just gorgeous!? So pink and it makes my hooves just pop!... Work? I don't need work, I'm princess Cadence! LOVE MAGIC LOVE MAGIC LOVE MAGIC IT SOLVES ALL PROBLEMS!   "HA!"   >No, even better!   FWOOSH!   >Hi, I'm Shining Armor, I'm as dull as a board and yet somehow I have a princess on my dick. Or do I? Who even knows! I'm too dull to talk too.   "HAHA!"   Fwoosh!   >Oh my dearest student, you have learned so much from me! First off, you can name every kind of cake, so that's something!...Whelp! I feel like we're done! Best of luck, Equestria! You've got this!   "AHAHAHHA!"   Fwoosh!   >Why yes, I do preach the power of friendship and yet constantly try to handle all my problems myself and relied way too heavily on magical artifacts, what of it? Also, did I hear you talking shit about my BBBFF? How dare you! He is the most handsome, strong, amazing pony in the world! YES THIS IS NORMAL!   "AHAH AHAHHA!"   FWOOSH!   >I'm Rainbow Dash! I'm awesome! And by Awesome I mean I can make colors wavy in the air! WOW! COLORS! THAT'S FUCKING AMAZING!   "AAHHAHAHAHA!"   FWOOSH!   >VERILY! WE HAVE NEVER BEEN LAID AND SO WE TRY TO COVER OUR SADNESS WITH SCREAMING!   "AHAHAHHAHAHAHA!"   FWOOSH!   >GRRR STOMP! MASH! SMASH! I HAVE ANGER ISSUES AND LIKE TO PUNCH THINGS AND TALK ABOUT PUNCHING! PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH INEVERHAVESEXBECAUSEI'MPUNCHY!   "AHAHAH! Wait, doesn't that also work for-"   FWOOSH!   >HAH! That's right, I'm going to cackle like a supervillain all the time and annoy ponies!...What's that!? Nobody trusts me!? WHOEVER WOULD HAVE THOUGHT!?   "AHAHHHA!   FWOOSH!   >HOWDY HOWDY HOWDY AH'M APPLEJACK! Ah' talk like Ah' wanna help but Ah' ain't gonna do shit! Nope, ya'll better come ta' me with yer' problems cause lord knows Ah' ain't askin' or lookin' ta' help!... What's that? Shit done went wrong? WELL WHO COULD'A SEEN THAT COMMIN!? It's almost like when ya' don't pay attention ta' problems they don't get better! Ya' know what? Ah' need ta' go and make out with that there bug Queen! Maybe iffin' mah' outlook of never doin' nothin' and hers of everythin' goin' wrong get in a fight, we'll be one whole sane pony! WELL SHOOTINANAY IN THE HAYBALE!   "AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHA!... AHAHAH!...Ahhhh... got anymore?"   >Probably, but I'm feeling lightheaded.   "Oh, yes, should probably mention you just burned through, like, half your reserves."   >...   "..."   >...Goddamn it.   "Get to seducing, mare of a million faces, and try to pick a weakling. If you don't have enough power to knock them out, well..."   >...   FWOOSH!   >MWAAHAHHAH! I'm Variolus! I fucked up everything so hard that GHOSTS can't stand to be near me and hate my ass! But did I learn anything? BITCH I'M VARIOLUS! Learning is what you do when you have a head!.... WHOOPS!   "...fuck you."   >As you would say, aha aha, ahahaha.   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   NC >Sunset "AJ" ~~~   "Ah'm gonna do the worst thing Ya'll can possibly imagine!"   >Worse than getting a rock punched in your chest and dying slowly on the ground all alone!?   "..."   >...   "...Think Ah' can let ya' off with a warnin'..."   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   NC >AJ "Rarity" '???' ~~~~   >...hrrmm... hmmm..   "Applejack, darling? Is there any any particular reason you feel the need to glare at that pie? If so, by all means continue, but if there isn't a validation behind it, I must voice my concern."   >It's from the bug monster.   "Do be more specific."   >There's only two bug monsters in the whole dang world, and if it was the biggun Ah'd have set fire ta' it already. Only reason Ah' ain't with this one is that she might be expectin' that.   "Oh, I see... Chrysalis made you a pie?"   >She did. Or so she says...   "..."   >...Ah'm also noticin' ya'll have a pie.   "Oh, um... yes. It was from Sweetie Belle. I know it looks normal, but I don't want to-"   >Get all fat, gotcha.   "Was going to say hu-"   >WAIT! THAT'S IT!   "That's... it?"   >Ah' can help us both out! Gimme yer' pie real quick!   "If I wasn't so utterly baffled, I'd be making an innuendo, but I feel instead that I should- hey!"   >HA! Iffin' Ah' eat this whole thing, Ah' can just say that Ah'm too stuff fer' this and send it away! Ain't no way she can run ta' her enablers and cry about it then!   "Did you ever consider maybe she's doing this for entirely non-evil reasons?"   >...Heh.   "WAIT!"   >...   "Applejack, I need to remind you, SWEETIE BELLE made that, SWEETIE BELLE! Do you really, in your current state, feel that eating something made by SWEETIE BELLE is more favorable to the mere chance that Chrysalis means you no harm, and just wanted to give you some pie?"   >...   "..."   >....Bottoms up!   With that, she dug in, truly dug in.   "...how is it?"   >Ah'm tashtin a lotta crayonsh.   "Oh... are you going to stop eating?"   >...Nope. Shesh commin' down the hallway.   "...How do you know that?"   She didn't answer, just kept shoving more of the clearly unnatural substance into her mouth.   Finally, she gulped down the last bite, and was still.   After several uncomfortable moments of silence, Rarity looked to the pie.   "...I admit, I am curious.."   >You'll regret it.   "It can't be that bad."   >Ah'm not revivin' ya' when yer' on the ground in convulsions.   Tepidly, she cut a slice out, and brought the pie to her mouth.   "...Wait, is this-"   'CRACKASLAMMA!... Aw, damn it! My plan has been foiled!'   While Applejack smiled triumphantly, vindicated, Rarity looked on in horror.   "OH SWEET MERCY! What was in this!? Did you poison me!? Is it drugs!? WHAT DID I JUST EAT!?"   'Oranges.'   >...   "..."   '...   >...   "...Come again?"   'Oranges. It's an orange pie.'   "...Poison oranges?"   'I hope not, I ate half the bag.'   "...Why... why oranges?"   'Isn't that a big thing with her? Like, she only eats apples, family pride an all that? I was trying to make her horrified she ate an orange.'   "W-what? No, no not at all, in fact you likely bought these from her cousins, the orange family. They own most of the trade. She has family with pretty much every fruit, peaches, pares, stuff like that. Why would you think she would be bothered eating something besides apples? She has a carrot patch on her land."   'Oh... well! I learned something today!'   "Is anything else wrong with it?"   'Nope! It's just a prank, come on. How's it taste?'   "Not bad, actually... well, see, Applejack? All that worrying over a harmless... prank..."   The orange mare was still smiling.   '...Uh... what's up with her?'   "Applejack? Was... was it..."   Smiling even as copious amounts of foam began to bubble out of her mouth and her eyes bugged out of her skull.   "...SHE'S GONNA BLO-"   In a flash of green, Chrysalis was gone.   "COME BACK! TAKE ME WITH-"   >BLEEEEEGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH   "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO   ~~~~   ALTERNATE ENDING!   >EEEEEGGGHHHHHHH...   "...W-where... where did it all go?"   ~OH DEAR CELESTIA IT'S EVERYWHEEERRRE! HOOOWWW!? HOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!?~   >S-sorry Shiny...   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   Non-Canon >Pinkie "Applejack" ~~~~~ >Welcome to Sort of Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does still matter, but let's pretend it doesn't! Now for our main guest...APPLEJACK!!!   "Howdy y'all."   >What would you do if Braeburn broke his leg?   "Shucks, we'd probably put him down in th-"   >Did you hear that, Braeburn? She's going to put you down!   "Now, hold on. That's not what I meant."   >First she'll put him down and the next thing you'll know she'll be visiting hospitals with a shotgun! Run before it's too late!   "...are you done?"   >Yeah. Applejack wakes up.   "...Ah hope Braeburn knows she's joking. "   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   Non-Canon >Pinkie ~~~~ >So I said to Princess Luna, please please let me host a dream show! After sending her a lot of badgers, she said yes.   THIS HAS BEEN A SNEAK PEEK AS WE LOOK BEHIND THE SCENES OF LATE NIGHT /PA/ THE STORY THAT NEVER EXISTED.   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________