Title: Thread 72: Stories 46-59 Author: PrincessApplejack Pastebin link: http://pastebin.com/7mgX365T First Edit: Monday 11th of May 2015 03:10:21 PM CDT Last Edit: Monday 11th of May 2015 03:10:21 PM CDT _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >Vekir "Watchdog" 'Gwen' -Siegfried-   >Wheeeee!   Clank.   >Again!   "Alrighty."   Whirrrrrr whoosh!   >Wheeeee!   Clunk.   >Again!   "Alrighty."   -How long has he just be tossing her up and down like that?-   'About ten minutes.'   -...can they all just curl up into balls like that?-   >Wheeeee!   'I believe it's mostly how small she is.'   -This is seriously the best they could do for an ambassador?-   'As far as I can tell she's the only one who understood what the job entailed.'   >Wheeeee!   -...you and dad are going to scam the hell out of them aren't you?-   >Vekir...is verrrrryyyy dizzy...   "Oh, whoops."   >Vekir did not say stop!   'Down to the last opal.'   >Wheeeeee-oh no...blurgh-the crepes! They have betrayed Vekir!   -POINT HER AT THE FAWNTAINE PEOPLE!-   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >88 "13" ~~~   >So, what's your gimmick?   "My gimmick?"   >Yeah, everyone's got one. That guy juggled, that guy wrote bad stories, and that one got sent on all the shameful missions.   "You really shouldn't be mean to 14 like that..."   >So, spill. What's your thing?   "..."   *FWOOSH!*   >...Do I smell burning chitin?   "Yep. It appears a spark has reacted in a once in a lifetime amount of my salve meant to sooth my burns, and caught fire."   >...That's unlucky.   "..."   >....Ohhhhhhh...   "..."   >....   *schooch schooch*   "Smart choice."   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   NC >Sunset "Chitania" ~~~   "Well done."   >What... What are you doing?   "Showing my approval."   >You're just holding your hoof up.   *SHWOOM!*   "There. Better?"   >And now I wonder how you know what a thumbs-up is.   "Gryphons."   >Ah. That explains a lot.   "Learned how fist-bump from the Minotaurs. Punchof pussies. They went flying whenever they tried to give me 'mad props' for my 'great gains', as they put it."   >A strange folk. Very much into /fit/ness, I heard.   "Want a fist-bump?"   >I refuse.   "Too bad, I know Variolus is somewhere int here and I am using this as an excuse to punch her.   >Wha-   *POW!* *CRASH!* *CRUMBLE!*   "AND STAY DEAD THIS TIME!"   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   >SA "???" ~~~   Do you know how often he actually heard someone knock on his door?   Shining Armor honestly could not remember, it had been that long. He had nearly died at least twice since the last one. Actually nearly died, not that melodramatic "I'll just die if I don't get my rocky road cake" stuff.   As such, the knocking left him struggling to remember exactly what he was supposed to say to that.   "Can I come in?"   Ah. Right. That was it.   >Yep. Come on in, Spike.   The purple dragon had the look he was familiar with. That sort of "I'm trying to look casual but I also might be asking you to buy me drugs" sort of look that Gaffer had on him every now and again, back in the day.   ...He honestly missed that, thinking about it.   "Hey, can we... talk?"   And boom, reminiscing was gone, back into older brother mode and all work shoved aside.   >Anytime. What's bugging you?   He always wondered what it would be like to have claws to fidget with. Not having to rely on your forelimbs for support has got to be great.   "It's kind of embarrassing..."   >Ah. This about you and Applejack? Or Rarity, I can remember which one you're obsessed with this time. If you're looking for dating tips, you came to the right stallion.   How the hell do scales blush? The more he thought about it, the less sense it made when his whole face went a bright crimson.   "N-no! Nothing like that at all, no uh... I'm pretty okay with that right there. It's more... uh... I need you to talk to Twilight for me."   >What's the matter, giving you a hard time about the age difference thing?   "...Actually, she's been weirdly okay with that."   >She's not trying to figure out if you can have kids with her, right?   "No! I need you to ask Twilight to help me... get bigger."   His skull suddenly felt far too small for his eyes, and they now threatened to pop out and make their daring escape.   Somewhere, between his heart stopping and his mouth turning to sand paper, he managed to overcome the screeching sound of alarm bells roaring in his head and clear his throat enough to speak.   As the closest stallion in the young dragon's life, he accepted that he was likely the best pony to talk to about this... but oh wow, did he not want to be the one to talk about this.   >Ahhh... look, Spike, I know you've been around a lot of stallions in the military here recently, and you've probably heard some... things. Things that will give you a very skewed view on what is... acceptable or impressive to have, size wise. This might also skew how you see yourself, as you are, and wonder if you need... more. However, I would like to remind you that your body is still changing, and I know that while patience can be hard, it is not impossible. That said, whatever you finally, uh... develop into, I'm sure anyone you really connect with will be totally okay with.... 'you', as big as you are. And if they have a problem with whatever size you finally do end up with, they're not really worth your time.   Okay, he was expecting a bit of embarrassment and maybe some begrudging acceptance.   He did not expect the glare. The glare was new.   "Look, I know eventually I'm going to be all big thick and all that, I get that, but I need this NOW, and I need her to help me with this!"   Wow, those alarm bells sure did have a ring to them.   >Uh... Spike? What, exactly, do you need the increased... 'size' for, right now?   "Preparation! Something could happen at any minute, and I don't want to have to pull a new size out of nowhere and try to deal with it for the first time! I need practice up till that point!'   >Is this... is this a concern? Like, you're sure you're going to need to do it now?   "Yes! Who knows if I need that for her tomorrow! I need to be prepared, DOY!"   >...Doy indeed. But Spike, I've got to tell you something I learned first hoof. Nothing, NO amount of practice will prepare you when you start... using your full potential. It's something you've got to learn with both partners, right there. And while preparation sounds good, in practice it's mostly useless, I've found.   "Hey! Just because I haven't been doing it as long as you doesn't mean I'm totally clueless on this! I've been doing it a while too you know!"   Oh wow, so that's what a brain tumor exploding feels like. Chalk that one up to a life experience.   >...Oh?   "Yes!"   >...tell me, Spike, exactly, uh, who are you hoping to use this on?   "Who the fuck do you think? Chitania! It was the only thing that really brought her to her knees last time, and if I can use a bigger size on her I'll actually be able to keep up for once!"   >....   "..."   >....   "...S-shiny? Uh... there's... there's blood coming out of the corner of your mouth. It's just... just pouring."   >How about that.   "... and now your eye is filling up with blood."   >Matching set?   "Yep. That's... you okay?"   >Just peachy.   "..."   >...Spike?   "Y-yeah?"   >You're fine as you are. I realize this is a troubling time in your life, but you're just going to have to deal with non-artificial enhancements.   "...Yeah, figured you'd take her side on it. Look, I know I went crazy when I supersized, but that doesn't mean I'll never be able to handle my bigger dragon form!"   >..........OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!   "Oh? Why oh-...."   To his credit, as the realization sank in, Spike slowly lost all expression, until he was as stone faced as what Shining himself believed his own expression to be.   "...Going to take her side?"   >Yep.   "Never speak of this again?"   >It's for the best.   "...Okay."   With that, he turned, and he left. Gone so fast he was as if he had never been, a ghost that carried with him uncomfortable, terrible memories.   >...Whelp, there is only one way to remove that image.   Click.   >I have no regrets.   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________    >Steam Gauge "Quicksilver" 'Pommel' -Fishpony-   BLAM!   >Soooo...   "Yup."   >This seem a bit of a let down after all the hype that pirate lady built it up to be?   DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA!   "Not really."   KABOOM!   >Really?   "Well yeah, consider this. The captain fought these things with pirates, right?"   >Right.   FWEEEEEEEEEEE-KABOOM!   "Well pirates have like, what, cannons, at best? And I bet they don't have too many unicorns, either."   >Huh, yeah-hang on.   -Shurr B'durr!-   BLAM!   "Well, we're guards, so at the very least we got the edge over these things in tactics, weaponry, the fact we're less willing to let the guy next to us die so we get more treasure. Ergo, we're doing better."   >Huh, that makes a lot more, sense.   "..."   >...   "So's it seem like the captain is having way too much fun with this?"   'SHURBEDURR THIS YOU FUCKING FREAKS! GET SOOOOOOOME!'   >Just a tad.   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   Omukeh…? OMUKEH!   >Jetset “OO7” ____   >Which is it?   “Which is...what?”   >The way you spell your name?   “I… what? Why does it matter?”   >Because your constant disregard for uniformity annoys me. Is it spelled with zero’s, or actual ‘O’s?   “Are you serious right now? Like, really? Hivemind above… how the hell is it pronounced?”   >Like ‘double oh seven’.   “Well, there ya go.”   >…   “What?”   >So with an ‘O’. Literally.   “Yes! Why’s that so hard to-”   >You know what? Fuck you and your weird name, I'm going back to my mission.   “W-what? Fine! Get on, then! ...Giving me crap when you're named after some cult video game….”   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   NCO-Mako   >Gwen "Sig" 'Guards'   >Soooo...ambush next thread.   "Yup."   >I notice that one of the thread mottos is starting to rear its ugly head. Should we just bend over now?   "Naaaaah, I've read this guy's stuff, we're too important to die. THOSE guys on the other hand."   Siegfried points back at the guards.   "Not so much."   'WHAT!?'   "Pensions are in the mail, guys!"   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   NComake! >18 "Spitfire" ~~~   >...   "..."   >...How big is it?   "HUUUUGE!"   >I knew you slept with him back in the day!   "Honey, I was a captain with crazy capabilities, he was a captain with crazy capabilities, we just wanted to see if his shield could handle my speed."   >HAH!   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   Omake >PM "Librarian" 'Chitania' ~~~~~   >MWAHAHAHHAAHHAAH! REVEEEEENNNNNNGGGE! I WILL HAVE MY REVEEEENNNNGGGGEEE! BOOK REVENGE!   "...I thought you were supposed to be the evil one?"   'I cackle internally.'   "...I'm fucked, aren't I?"   'Whatever it takes for her to stop offering, so be it.'   >AHHAHAHAHAHHAAHH!   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   Omake! >Chitania "??" ~~~~~   >Another day, another thread. Meh, I'll probably just get into more back and forth hijinks... wait... w-wait a minute... is this a backstory story!? We're doing another backstory with me!?   "It gets worse."   >HOW, STRANGE PINK PONY! HOW IS THIS WORSE!?   "...It's a Variolus story."   >FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   NCOmake >42 "77"   >Alright, time to get some late night training...done...   "Oh when you're sad and looking for some cheering up "Well then just step right on up to the robot killing cave~"   >...maaaaaybe later.   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   NCOmake >AJ "Celestia"   >Hey Celestia, got a question.   "Oh for-not even in the Omakes can I find respite!"   >Er, it's less about ruling stuff and more about...that thing.   AJ points at Primrose, on standby in the corner.   >What do ya think it does when it's on standby?   "I don't know, do robots dream?"   >Ah don't think so...   Meanwhile in Primrose's CPU:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8AKP4Tw9sE   Back to reality:   >Eh, best not to think of it.   "Agreed."   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   NC >Dash "AJ ~~~   >Sooooo...when I crash and burn on the test, you'll still front me the funds, right?   "Not on yer' life, sport. Get to studyin'."   >CHEAPASS!   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________   Non-canon Pinkie Preview >Pinkie ~~~~ >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMMfep_ZsXs   >WOWIE! What a shocking reveal! Chrysalis got to learn everyone's got skeletons in their closet, and Momie's is pretty scary! Sunset is at last meeting with 32, Pommel's training the guards again and Vekir is off with the Gryphons to disaster! >NEXT TIME! Sunset and 32 collide, with special guest star, HIS MOTHER! Chitania continues her path to creating the ultimate thing a magigger, Prostimare's revenge takes the form of a superbook, Shiny takes up drinking to put away the mental image of Spike and Chitania, we pray for Sombra-Anon's return and somehow it's all Celestia's fault! See you next time, Thread 73!: How I met my ghost mother! And oh, plenty of mystery fanservice!   _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________