Title:           Thread 6: Stories 105-120
Author:          PrincessApplejack
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/xe6bxQ59
First Edit:      Wednesday 19th of February 2014 04:14:01 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Wednesday 19th of February 2014 04:14:01 PM CDT

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Shining Armor
"AJ18"
'Cadence'
*AJ2*
-AJ42-
[Chrysalis]
~~~~~
>Well, since monopoly has now been banned from the Empire
 
"And with the reduced funding needed for the fire and police departments, it can be distributed to rebuilding homes destroyed by the game!
 
>Yep. as I was saying, I thought I'd introduce you girls to a pastime I taught 2 here awhile ago.
 
*HYPERSPACE HYPERWARS!!!*
 
'That- That's a lot of numbers! And a lot of die, with a lot of sides! Are you sure I can learn this, dear?'
 
*Don't worry! Shiny's a good teacher, he taught me!*
 
-So this is what you base your strategies on? No wonder you have so many problems, just a glance at the rulebook and I can see a lot of unrealistic bars or allowances-
 
>Just like Monopoly is a great simulator for running a business
 
-I'm a soldier, not a financier.-
 
"Then trust him when we say it's not."
 
[Heeeey! Hyperspace Hyperwars! I love this game!]
 
>You do?!
 
[Yeah, I played it all the time when I was younger, had to stop because I kept eating people who beat me. So who plays what army?]
 
*Shiny's teaching them, but I play Sludgenoid!*
 
[Get out of here! Me too!]
 
*And Shiny has an Ultra-Mareine army*
 
[...]
 
[SHINY TOSS!]
 
'What did you do that for?!'
 
[Your husband's a FUCKING SCRUB! I'll join when he gets a real army like Imperial Guard]
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Fancy Pants
"AJ2"
'SA'
~~~~
 
The unicorn named Fancy Pants considered himself an intellectual type, at his core. He was very slow to judge, always open to new things, and never one to consider any creature beneath him. And yet, as he spied the little Changeling sitting inside the royal booth reserved for dignitaries, he was a bit uneasy.
 
Still, he was nothing if he was not high class, no need to over-react. The guards would be here swiftly if he should need them. And if not, well, he was no slouch as a mage either, they would soon discover.
 
>Hello there, Changeling. And what are you doing clear up here?
 
When she finally turned to face him, he was privy to what had to be the largest smile he had ever encountered in his long life.
 
"Waitin'!"
 
>Oh, and just what are you waiting for?
 
"For Shiny ta' get back! 18 says she needed his help real quick, and he'd be back soon."
 
>Shiny?
 
"Uh huh!"
 
He was hoping she would elaborate, but it seemed it was not meant to be. He knew every high class representative that ever set foot in this stadium, and neither of those names rang a bell. Certainly not a number like 18.
 
>My, you are quite happy looking. Are you enjoying the race?
 
"It's cool!"
 
>...Is it the atmosphere?
 
"Probably, dunno what that means, though."
 
>Why, you have me stumped. What could be putting such a smile on your face?
 
"The greatest discovery, OF ALL TIME!"
 
>Well, don't keep me in suspense, whatever did you find?
 
"Okay, get this, ya' listenin? Really listen. Gonna blow your mind. This cup?"
 
>Yes?
 
"It fits right inta' the little hole in my leg! Look at it! Isn't it amazing!?"
 
Fancy Pants expected many things from a changeling. A bit of deception, a worrying need to devour they joy you have, an abrasive and explosive attitude.
 
Never did he expect childlike wonder, nay, ethereal happiness over something as simple as discovering your leg worked as a glorified cup holder.
 
>Yes, I say that is quite remarkable.
 
"I can't wait ta' show Shiny!"
 
'Show me what? Oh, hey Fancy Pants. Been a long time!'
 
Ah, Fancy though to himself, so "Shiny" was the illustrious Prince of the Crystal Empire, Shining Armor, an old friend of his. It seemed those rumors of an unorthodox adoption had more truth to them than he realized.
 
"Look! The cup slips right inta' the little hole! Isn't it the best!?"
 
'The very best, Two. We should bring it back to show Cadence.'
 
"Ah'm gonna blow her mind!"
 
>You certainly have mine.
 
'What brings you up here, Facny?'
 
>Oh, this little one was sitting all by herself, and I just had to speak with her. Speaking of, your highness, would you mind if I sat up here with you and spoke with a miss...
 
"I'm Applejack 2!"
 
'Sure, I don't mind. And you don't have to be so formal, I'm still me, Fancy.'
 
"Yay! Sit right over here mister Fancy! I'll tell you all about how I find out I use this hole to scoop up popcorn!"
 
>Would love to hear about it, my dear, I am all ears.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Luna
"Celestia"
~~
 
>SISTER! WE HAVE RETURNED!
 
"...Goodbye, sweet hearing. What did you find out?"
 
>Something very disturbing, honestly.
 
"Luna, do you really think whatever she's got going on in her head is really going to move me? Whatever foul thing Chrysalis dreams of is nothing compared to what I've seen. I need information."
 
>Well, you see, the problem was that it wasn't a dream. It was a nightmare.
 
"Even better! Knowing what she fears is always a good thing to have on standby, should she ever turn on us. What is it that haunts her?"
 
>...This is kind of hard to explain, so we shall simply show you what we saw. Have no worries, it is short.
 
A wisp of magic surrounded them, and they now stood in the middle of a wide open field. Grass and beautiful as could be, and atop a hill of this majestic plane sat the Queen herself. Sitting before her was a small changeling. It had no distinct features, nothing to make it unique in any way. It could have been any of them.
 
Chrysalis was smiling, happier than they could recall seeing her ever before. Playfully rubbing the head of the little thing while laughing with a motherly tone. The little creature finally spoke, in voice that was distorted just enough that they could make out nothing about it, be it age or gender.
 
[I love you mommy!]
 
She smiled back, tears coming from her eyes.
 
{I love you too.}
 
The magic vanished.
 
>And then she woke up screaming at the top of her lungs.
 
"...That's it? Where's the rest?"
 
>There is no 'rest', that's all there was. She says she loves it, and then terror fills her heart in a way I have seldom felt. She wakes up, nearly crushes Shining Armor's chest in, and then goes back to a dreamless sleep.
 
"We might need to get her some medication."
 
>Yeah, bit off kilter, that one. Should we tell Shining Armor? He might be able to get to the bottom of what is causing this.
 
"You know what? No. Let's not. I don't want to know. I'm sure it'll be fine."
 
>...Sister-
 
"Just. Fine."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>AJ 10
"AJ 12"
~~~~~~~
 
>HIYA!
 
"GAH! Damn, 10! Stop freaking me out like this! 77 already has me all jittery."
 
>Just wanted to interview you and see how you were doing.
 
"It's just talking, 10, not every conversation is an interview."
 
>But I have my camera!
 
"And?"
 
>...So, how's the job search going?
 
"Thankfully, a chainsaw factory only produces, like, the parts. They're assembled elsewhere."
 
>That's goo-
 
"So they used the chains."
 
>Ah. Not a fun time?
 
"It was fine when I got a hold of one of the chains."
 
>See! Everything is coming up 12!
 
"I can still taste the chain."
 
>Can't be any worse than the food we normally eat.
 
"The sad part? It's not."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>AJ 12
"Celestia"
~~~~~~~~
 
>Heeeeeyyyyy, lady. What, uh, what're you doing here?
 
"Leave me be."
 
>Yeah, you know, I would. But you're violating the code.
 
"Code?"
 
>You're only allowed to take up so much room in the crying corner, and you exceeded it by about three changelings worth.
 
"I can't make myself smaller."
 
>Fine, just... just scooch.
 
"..."
 
>...So, what're you in for?
 
"Sadness."
 
>Yeah, standard crying corner symptoms. Was hoping for specifics. It helps, I've found.
 
"So tell me yours."
 
>Okay. I tried to audition for a zoo keeper position.
 
"And?"
 
>They locked they door to the manticore and ran away. With me inside.
 
"Dicks."
 
>I know. Feel better?
 
"Little bit..."
 
>...
 
"...I had a meetup between the Crystal Kingdom soldiers and our soldiers."
 
>Didn't go well?
 
"I'm in the crying corner, aren't I?"
 
>Sorry... you seem nice, what's your name? Have you met Princess Applejack?
 
"..."
 
*POP!*
 
>...Well, that's enough crying corner for me! Have a nice day, weird pony.
 
"No, I think that ship has sailed."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
-Mail call!-
"...How did you know i was here?"
-I just go where the address tells me, here you go!-
 
"...."
 
[The white alicorn, Crying corner, The Ballroom, Canterlot.]
 
"...."
 
[Great job on keeping the guard in shape! The only reason our guys stood a chance in that fight is because 42 has been having fun with her new toy(Dont ask.) for the past week.]
 
[Still love you, keep up the good work!]
 
"...h-hah, jokes on you m-my knight, my face was already wet."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>SA
"Cadence"
'Crysalis'
~~~~~~~
 
"Oooohhhhh sweetie! I brought a little..."
 
>...She wouldn't leave.
 
"Is, uh, is she doing your hair?"
 
>She was insistent.
 
"I thought this was 'Shiny's time'?"
 
>Naw, this is a shower, not a bath. Shower time is whoever time. Bath time is Shiny time.
 
'And now it's Shiny and Chrissy time!'
 
"Why his hair?"
 
'He wouldn't let me do the front side! I kept telling him 'No, seriously, my tongue is long as hell!' but he just said 'please get out of my shower' over and over!'
 
"Can't imagine why."
 
'Right? So I noticed his hair was a little off, so I fixed it.'
 
"...It is a little stringy here lately."
 
>Dear!
 
"What? It itches when I bury my face in it when we sleep."
 
'Yeah, and smells a bit greasy.'
 
"Right?"
 
>I work out.
 
"That's no excuse for proper hygiene!"
 
'But he does work out. Do you feel this?'
 
"I know, right!? It's so nice!"
 
>Stop squeezing me.
 
"Oh! I want to help with his hair now!"
 
'You take front, I'll get the back.'
 
"Doin' Shiiiny's haiiir!"
 
>This is humiliating.
 
'Bubbly bubbly!'
 
>I want to go back to Shiny time.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Celestia
"Luna"
'Fluttershy'
*Discord*
-Guards-
~~~~~
>Luna, are you sure this is a good idea. I mean I was bothered by the Royal Guards' defeat against the Crystal Guard, but don't you think this is going a bit far?
 
"Nonsense, dear sister! The Applejack the Forty Second keeps her guard in shape well enough, but she is just one mare. Besides, this way they can do battle against threats they would have gone up again before!"
 
'And Discord is certainly enjoying himself. The poor thing's felt so pent up lately!'
 
*AHAHAHAHA! EVER WONDERED WHAT HAPPENS WHEN ALL YOUR BLOOD TURNS TO SUGAR?! IT'S CALLED DIABETES TYPE 2!!*
 
-Sweet merciful, Celestia! Save us!-
 
-Where's the Elements of Harmony when you need them?!-
 
-Hah! Diabetes Type 2, like Applejack 2! I get it- Oh, darkside of the Force, my blood!-
 
>You're probably right. So when do you join in as Nightmare Moon?
 
"The five minute mark. We hope they last that long."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Chrysalis
"AJ 42"
~~~~~~~
 
>42!
 
"Yes, Highness!"
 
>Stop being so good at your job!
 
"...Curses. Looks like that drill to the wine cellar actually worked."
 
>No, turns out that idea was completely stupid and didn't work at all.
 
"Who could have guessed? So, wait, you're not drunk?"
 
>NO!
 
"So... if you could clear up what you meant before?"
 
>The Crystal Guard just DESTROYED Canterlot's guard!
 
"Hah! I knew Shatterhoof could overcome his shakes! I'M PROUD OF YA' BUDDY!"
 
>...
 
"...Oh, I see. Too much?"
 
>How are we supposed to conquer them if they can kick our ass?
 
"You could still probably beat them. You're powerful, Majesty."
 
>Pfft, duh! But I meant, you know, in general.
 
"...Wait, I thought the plan was to replace Cadence? Are we not doing that anymore?"
 
>I... wait, shoot, you're right. That was the plan. Which would mean it's a good thing if the ponies I command are powerful.
 
"So..."
 
>Good job, 42! Keep up the amazing work!
 
"YES, YOUR MAJESTY!"
 
*After she leaves*
 
"... I did good."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>AJ 18
"AJ 10"
'Cadence'
~~~~~~
 
>Fuck you, little paper forms. You are the bane of my-
 
"HI!"
 
>AAAAAAAAHHHHHH! How the hell did you get in here!?
 
"The power of love!"
 
>What!?
 
"I ate a bit of love out of that picture over there and opened the door."
 
>...Oh, yeah, that makes sense. What do you want?
 
"I want to interview Princess Cadence!"
 
>And?
 
"...And you're Princess Cadence?"
 
>...Wait, crap, right. Uh, I can't do an interview right now.
 
"Cause you're a changeling?"
 
>NO!
 
"..."
 
>...How did you see through me!?
 
"It's pretty obvious, Queenie!"
 
>I'm not the Queen!
 
"Wait, really? I thought that was the plan?"
 
>That hasn't been the plan for years!
 
"Nobody ever updates me on this stuff. Would it kill them to put out a little memo?"
 
>We were rocketed out of Canterlot!
 
"I wouldn't know, I called in sick that day. I wasn't, really, but I just had one of those mornings, you know? You wake up and you think to yourself, nah, don't wanna do no invadin' today. So I said I had the "flu'."
 
>...
 
"So can I interview you?"
 
>No. Nobody can know I'm not really Cadence.
 
"Darn."
 
>...
 
"...Can I have those candies on the desk?"
 
>Fine!
 
"Yay! And with this, I'm off! To find the real Cadence!"
 
>She's right over the-
 
*She flies off*
 
>-re... Ugh.
 
'Welcome to everyday of my life.'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>AJ
"77"
'Spike'
 
Applejack sits at her desk, whistling to herself as she completes some more paperwork.
 
"Ahem."
 
AJ looks up to find 77 standing in front of the desk, regarding her with his good eye.
 
"Changeling 77 at your service, ma'am."
 
>Hello there, 77, ah don't think we've really been introduced. Ahm Applejack, Spike's over in the corner.
 
Spike looks up from his own papers and nods.
 
>Ah here tell you've calmed down a bit from how ya were when ya first got here.
 
"Correct."
 
>And ah was wonderin' if ya'll didn't feel like lendin' a hoof around here.
 
"How so?"
 
>Come take a look at somethin' with me.
 
AJ gets up from her desk and walks over to a nearby window, 77 follows and the two look over a bare courtyard.
 
>Any idea what this here is?
 
"Not a clue, ma'am."
 
>This is supposed ta be where the Canterlot Guard is drilling themselves and trainin' ta fight Equestria's enemies. But they've been beaten into submission by the Crystal Guard and Luna's trainin' tactics.
 
"I see..."
 
>The Crystal Guard's gotten better because AJ42 spends her time teachin' 'em how to be better fighters. She used to do that here but now she's over there almost permanently, so our guard's gone back ta bein' incompetent.
 
"I see..."
 
>So where Ahm goin' with this?
 
"I believe I do, you wish me to take up 42's habit?"
 
>If'n ya feel like it.
 
"I can certainly try, though I think I'd have different methods."
 
>Whatever gets these morons back on track.
 
"It shall be done. Just...one question..."
 
>Yeah?
 
77 looks back at Spike.
 
"Could I touch your guns some time-"
 
'No.'
 
"Ok."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Cadence
"Chrysalis"
'18'
-42-
~~~~~~~~
 
>...Is.... is that my eclair?
 
"...Mmmmmaaaayyyybe?"
 
>...No.
 
"Hm?"
 
>NO. NO NO NO! I put up with a LOT from you, but not this! You put down my foot long eclair RIGHT THIS SECOND!
 
"No!"
 
'Hey! My eclair!'
 
>*YOUR* eclair!? It's my eclair!
 
'I ordered it!'
 
>You did not!
 
"None of you are getting it, it's my eclair!"
 
-Oh hey, the eclair I ordered! Thanks, majesty.-
 
'IT'S MINE'
 
>MINE!
 
"MINE!"
 
*everyone lunges forward, biting a corner of the eclair*
 
>...Is sheems wesh reashed an impash.
 
"Shatp makin' up worsh"
 
'Nobodeh bit down, or she eclair will shpray creme over one of ush. I wan sha creme.'
 
-A game of rusheen rolute, then?-
 
>It sheems show.
 
"...Thish ish pretty good."
 
-Yeah, ish great-
 
'Top tier.'
 
>Shay knocked it out of sha park.
 
"...I'mma bite down"
 
'Ish kind of getting hard not to.'
 
>Buh I wanna get the creme.
 
"Me too."
 
-Only one way ta' decide, on shree, we all bite down, and whatever happensh happensh.
 
"Kay, one, twoooo"
 
*SPLAT!*
 
>Damn it, it went off early!
 
"I'm not surprised, we were all being a little rough there."
 
'Yeah, but it just tasted so good, didn't it?'
 
-Hey look we all got some creme too! Wow, that sprayed everywhere.-
 
"*lick* Oooh, so good. I'm impressed there was enough for all of us!"
 
>Right? How did they cram so much in there?
 
'...Oh, hey Shiny! Whatcha got there?
 
-Oh, I see, we ALL ordered an eclair! That's embarrassing!-
 
>...Honey, could you bring the plate over here?
 
[...I-I need a minute.]
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Celestia
"Twilight"
~~~~~
"You wanted to see me, Princess Celestia!"
 
>Yes, Twilight, I need your help- No, Equestria needs your help.
 
"Shall I go assemble my friends and go out and face this threat! Sombra's resurrection? Grogar's amassed a necromantic army? The Tyranny of Tirek the Soulless?!"
 
>no, twilight, nothing like that! Actually, it seems my dependance on you and your friends is part of the problem. The Guard has become... Ineffective as of late. Again. The Crystal Guard beat us in a recent war games practice.
 
"Well, Shiny's running them, so of course they're going to win"
 
>Uhh... Right. Anyway though, Luna, Applejack, they've both had their own ideas for improving the Royal Guard, I was hoping you might also have something.
 
Suddenly, Twilight's smile becomes a bit twisted and her features darken
 
"Oh, don't worry, Princess... I have many ideas for improving the Royal Guard... Ehehehehe! Hahahahaha! AHAHAHAHAHAH!"
 
Twilight then vanishes in a flash of inexplicable lightning.
 
>Well, I can see this will go splendidly!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>DT
"Applebloom"
~~~~~~~~
 
"Are ya'll sure this is gonna work?"
 
>Sure enough to strap you into it.
 
"Okay... it's jus', this doesn't look very safe."
 
>What are you talking about? I gave you the good helmet.
 
"An' ah' appreciate it, but Ah'm just sayin'-"
 
>Look, I'm going to be right there with you. What kind of pony would I be if I went there with you and DIDN'T think it was going to be safe?
 
"...Yer' seat has an ejection system."
 
>No no, that's, uh, stabilizers.
 
"DT, ya'll strapped a pair of yer' rockets ta' a wagon and welded on a ton o' metal. How stable is this gonna be?"
 
>Well, that's why I need stabilizers, obviously!
 
"So why don't I get none?"
 
>...It clashed with the seatbelt?
 
"...So where's Silver Spoon?"
 
>Oh, she had something important to do. Real important. So important that at no point in the conversation did the phrase "this is so stupid it makes my head hurt" come up. Now, all I need you to do is steer. You can steer, right? Just get me in his general area, and I can fire off this nifty little mounted gun here.
 
"That looks real complicated."
 
>It is! I call it "The Rapid Firing Multi Canon Loaded With Enough Bombs To End The Changleings!" Or TRFMCLWEBTETC for short.
 
"..."
 
>I might need to work on that name, but later! Let me finish putting this gear on, and I shall join you atop the-... Ah.
 
"Sweetie already lit yer' fuse, didn't she."
 
>She did.
 
"Ah'm goin' for a ride?"
 
>Going for a ride.
 
"Might survive?"
 
>Probably not.
 
"Lots o' bombs?"
 
>The most.
 
"....Bring it on."
 
*FWOOOOOOOOOMM~*
 
"YAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOO!"
 
>...Her sister is going to kill me.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
 
>Applejack
"Celestia"
'Changeling'
~~~~~~~~
 
>This ain't gonna work.
 
"Hush, you! We've hit gold with some of these things, surely there has to be more use of them than just destroying our ballroom!"
 
>First off, stop callin' em' things. They got names.
 
"Names they can't even keep track of because it's YOUR name and a bunch of numbers!"
 
>Second, that ones eating yer' paperwork.
 
"What're you-ACK! NO! BAD CHANGELING!"
 
'But it's delicious!'
 
"It's paper! Very important paper! Spit it out!"
 
'NO! IS MINE NOW!'
 
"Give it back!"
 
>Told ya'.
 
"Oh shut up! Help me!"
 
>Nope. This ones all yer' fa-
 
"BITE MY GIANT SUNNY ASS!"
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