Title:           Thread 29: Stories 16-30
Author:          PrincessApplejack
Pastebin link:   http://pastebin.com/dsvNBTTm
First Edit:      Wednesday 16th of July 2014 07:13:16 PM CDT
Last Edit:       Wednesday 16th of July 2014 07:13:16 PM CDT

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
Non-canon
~~~~~
 
How... unexpected.
 
Before her were an odd group. A pony, and two changelings. She did not recognize the pony, she did not recognize the male changeling, but she knew the small one. Oh, sure, her legs were hidden, and she tried to be as normal as could be, but she knew that face. That face...
 
"Look at her! Ooooh, she's just adorable, isn't she?"
 
>Yes, Sciderella, so adorable.
 
"I know! I know I know! Ooooh, I knew I had good stock with her father! She's going to be a terror untold! Cutting swaths of foes down without a single care in the world. Melting their bones and bubbling them into goo! Oh, I can't wait!"
 
>So nice to hear.
 
"Do you want to hold her?"
 
>No, I do not.
 
"Come oooooon! You know you want to! You can't resist something this beautiful!"
 
>I absolutely could.
 
"Come ooooooonnn!"
 
>Resisting your annoying whining is harder.
 
"COME OOOONNNN!"
 
>Fine!... Tiny little grub.
 
"Soon, soon little Arana will have the whole world at her leg-tips!"
 
And that's when the infant spit up in her hair.
 
>If you say so.
 
"HEEHEEHEEHEE!"
 
>... ascend quickly, little greenspit. Your mother is driving me insane.
 
That face is older now, bigger... but it is the same one that looked up to her so long ago, and giggled.
 
>...Hrmph.
 
Not that it mattered anymore. She had bigger goals now then keeping some damn insects from killing themselves. No more time for little ones like that Spider-ling.
 
But still... perhaps, in another life....
 
In another life she would have been glad she saved her so many times before.
 
>Enjoy your fun, Arana.
 
She left before the confused changeling that would swear she just heard someone call her name could spot her.
 
>Your mother would be happy.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Pinkie
"Dash"
'Fluttershy'
[Twilight]
{2}
~~~~
>Oh! Oh! Oh! C'mon, girls, I gotta show you all the Future Frontier land!
 
[Well, I really wanna try to find Shiny-]
 
>Please, Twilight! After we visit Future Frontier, you can go find Shining! But I really wanna show you this place! PLEASE!
 
[Well...]
 
{Please, Auntie!}
 
Pinkie and 2 wibble
 
"'HNNNNNNNNNNNNG!!!'"
 
[Alright! Alright!]
 
And so they went
 
"Okay, Pinks, so what's so important in Future Frontier you HAD to show Twilight?"
 
'Oh... My... I think it's that.'
 
At the center of the Future Frontier was a state of Twilight Sparkle herself
 
Wearing a lab coat, an astronaut helmet (and just a helmet), with a proportional version of the crown Spike had given her on top of the helmet, with a jet pack on her back, a ray gun in one hoof, and glowing rings around her horn
 
Beneath a plaque read: 'The Future Frontier is dedicated to our hopes and dreams of a brighter tomorrow from the fruits of our minds. That genius can overcome the darkness of the past, and we can always move forward to greater future. An ideal no better embodied than by my dear friend and fellow Element of Harmony, Princess Twilight Sparkle.'
 
'Oh... Pinkie...'
 
Twilight sniffs
 
[P-Pinkie. Wh-where are my wings?]
 
>You don't need wings with a jetpack, silly!
 
[I guess... I guess not.]
 
{Auntie Twilight? why are you crying?}
 
"That's just liquid pride, Two..."
 
Rainbow Dash moves closer and puts a hoof around Twilight
 
'Yes... I'm leaking liquid pride myself.'
 
Fluttershy joins them
 
And quietly, so does Pinkie as they decide to take a small break and have a few snacks in front of the Twilight Statue
 
>I swear to, Faust, Flash Sentry! If you wreck this statue, I will rhijack the fourth wall and ruin you!
 
Meanwhile...
 
-Flash, you okay? Why are you looking around nervously like that?-
 
+Uhh.. I'm fine. Really, I'm fine! Just... Malfunctioning hardware. Yeah.+
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Suckerpunch
"41"
'Tour Guide'
 
'And here we have the first stop on our tour: Our tribute to our founder, the late great Franklin Baxter Fawntaine.'
 
"Baxter?"
 
>Eh, everyone's got an embarrassing middle name.
 
"I don't."
 
>Your name is literally the Princess' name and then a number.
 
"...I want a middle name now."
 
>I'll work on that.
 
"And don't just say something like 'Piss for Brains' or 'Uggo'!"
 
>I won't.
 
'Ahem!'
 
>"...continue."
 
'Here we have Mr. Fawntaine's First Bit! Recovered from the site of his tragic death at the hooves of the colossal beast that ransacked our country!'
 
>Oooh, *a* bit.
 
"I couldn't get a gumball for that these days."
 
'...'
 
>"Shutting up."
 
'Mr. Fawntaine was a dedicated and good-hearted stag-no matter what the Equestrian Financial Bureau says-that stood for innovation, dedication, and hard work.'
 
>Alsotaxevasion.
 
'DO YOU WANT TO BE THROWN OUT OF HERE!?'
 
"No, it's nice and cool and not vomit inducing in here."
 
>Speak for yourself.
 
'Ugh, let's just...skip this part. Yadda yadda immigration from the Hartland, ties to Elkland Gang Activity unfounded, involvement in Robot Invasion coincidental-I about cover it?'
 
>Pretty much.
 
"Do we get to the interesting part now? What's an infusion?"
 
'It's what you won't get to see at the end of the tour if you don't stop interrupting me.'
 
"...shutting up."
 
'Good! Now this way if you'll QUIETLY follow me is our step-by-step process on Automaton Design and Assembly!'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Poindexter
"Mane-Iac"
~~~~~
 
>Okay, Dex... let's try this out... come on, you can do it, she's not that intimidating-
 
"AAAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"
 
>Mostly. A-hem... Hey, Mane-iac?
 
"YOOOOOUUUUU!"
 
>Right... me.
 
"POINDEXTER!"
 
>Oh, okay. You remember my name? I'm not, like Poindextarious?
 
"HAHAHAH! Don't be silly! We have played MANY a great and FUN game of the BOARDS!"
 
>Yep. Sure have. Had a lot of fun.
 
"INDEEEED! It is most enjoyable!"
 
>Heh, yeah, it is. Oh, uh, by the way, speaking of, you know, enjoyable, well, I was wondering if you wanted to go on the slappy coaster?
 
"SURE!"
 
>...Just like that?
 
"I see no reason not to ENGAGE in a wild time of FUUUUUUNNNNN!"
 
>Oh, uh, cool. Cool! Right! Well, come on- WHOA!
 
"COME POINDEXTER!"
 
>Okay, this is new... and being on this end is strangely not one of my fetishes.
 
"What?"
 
>Uh... your hair is not radishes?
 
"...INDEEEEED! IT IS NOT! It is hair!"
 
>Right.
 
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAH! TO THE RIIIIIIIDDDDEEE!"
 
>...I see this working out.
 
"AHAHAHAHHAHA!"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>29
"???"
'???'
[???]
~~~~~~
 
>Well, at least today can't get any worse.
 
"Hey, excuse me? Mister Changeling?"
 
>Hm? And what can I do for you, oh guard of the majesty of royals?
 
"Wow, okay, you recognized I was a guard?"
 
>Of course! Thine particulars of coat and face are unmistakeable, Canterlot Guard, second division, mostly stationed around the west wing, not a rookie but not of notable rank and certainly not of notable stature.
 
"...Uh, wow, okay. That's kind of cool."
 
>I am an infiltrator class! Of course I know the particulars of those guarding mine targets!
 
'...Wait, shit, 29? Is that you?'
 
>OF COURSE IT IS ME YOU JUGGLING BUFFOON!
 
'Oh hey, you recognized I was Jugglejack! Awesome!'
 
>Rather hard to forget thine shrill voice and phrase repeated ad nauseum.
 
[DO ME! DO ME!]
 
>As if I would do someone as... as...
 
[...Yeeeeahhh?]
 
>AIEEEEEEEEEEE!
 
[He does recognize me!]
 
>INESCAPABLE! You are inescapable!
 
[Heh, that's what mo-... Sciderella used to call her net labyrinth!]
 
"Net 'labyrinth'?"
 
[Very complicated, took her days. I made a scale model once and put grasshoppers in there... they lived really happily, had a little condo and everything. Momma said I did it wrong, though, cause the thing that was supposed to take off their heads just petted them.]
 
"..."
 
'I tried to warn you.'
 
"Hey, you know? Everyone has crazy relatives. My aunt used to never eat cheese on a sunday. Said it was bad luck."
 
'...Don't think that's quite the same.'
 
>Did you actually want something? I wish to flee, verily, unto the distance so high and far.
 
"Does he talk like this all the time?"
 
'ALL the time.'
 
>MINE MANNER OF SPEAK IS NAUGHT FOR THE JUDGEMENT OF YOU!
 
"Right, uh, sorry. Just wondering if you had seen the Princess."
 
>...She was down over by the spingysproket about a half hour ago, apparently.
 
"Apparently?... Who are you looking at?"
 
>His name was Dodging Shot. Ironic, considering how he died, but apparently that's what you get when your mother is so strung out she drops you off a bathroom in a construction site.
 
["'..."']
 
>Well, go on! You won't catch up to her looking at me you slack jawed ninnies!
 
"Right, uh, thanks, 29? Think it was 29..."
 
>Hrmph! As if I need thanks from a commoner! Damned passer by... always bugging me... freaking spider.......
 
"...Okay, so-"
 
'Yeah, he's that weird all the time.'
 
"Gotcha, just double checking."
 
[He didn't run this time, progress!]
 
"Little victories, I guess."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Lucky Strikes
"Coco"
'Steam Gauge'
-Quicksilver Sash-
 
>Pour on pressure on the western flank! Cover Corporal Cavalier's squad! Private Gauge, what's the status on reacquiring our paint munitions?
 
The private in question is covered in enough multi-colored paint to look like he took part in Zap Apple Jam wrestling.
 
'HOW DO YA THINK!?'
 
>Damn them! Ambushing our supply runs! This will not stand!
 
-I think it's already upright, L.T. What should we do?-
 
>I will lead a counter attack on Princess Luna's quarters, you three will lead the defense of the Cake Larder! Pommel you're in charge!
 
"M-me? I don't think...well, I mean...I'm not sure that's entirely a good idea, sir."
 
>Nonsense! I've never seen anyone rise up through the ranks as quick as you have!
 
"...I'm not even part of the guard...how can even-"
 
PLINK!
 
Coco blinks as she's struck upside the helmet by a paintball which sends the little piece of headgear flying and clattering out a nearby window. She blinks.
 
"That...that was the only piece of armor I could fit on..."
 
Her eyes narrow.
 
"This...well I mean...I think...means war."
 
>Atta girl! FOR THE PRINCESS!
 
'-FOR THE PRINCESS!-'
 
"And my helmet."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>SA
"Chrysalis"
'Celestia'
~~~~~
 
>Absolutely not.
 
"What? It looks like fun!"
 
>The hell it does.
 
"You're just being a spoilsport."
 
>Chrysalis, I am going to say this as cleanly and bluntly as I can, no. We are absolutely not.
 
"But it looks great!"
 
>Okay, apparently I wasn't clear. I will re-iterate. You and I are not going on the tunnel of love ride.
 
"You me and Celestia."
 
'What, really?'
 
"Well, yeah, not going to be a dick about it. Plus, you know, what's the point of two trips?"
 
>Weirdly considerate, but still, no.
 
"Oh come on! You can't take her and not me, that's not fair."
 
>I'm not taking her either!
 
"Rude."
 
>Okay, I know you don't get into politics all that much-
 
"Mostly because I can't help but backstab, circumvent and otherwise destroy infrastructure when I do."
 
>...Ignoring that. My point is, think about if, say, a picture of you, me and Celestia getting on a tunnel of love ride got out. Hell, just imagine any pairing between us three!
 
"Not seeing the problem."
 
>Do you know how many foreign dignitaries I have managed to convince on the matter of you and I in a sexual relationship?
 
"None?"
 
>None!
 
"Sooo... I'd just reap the benefits, if I were you. I mean, think about it. If they're going to say it anyway, why not break a couple headboards with my horn, as it were."
 
'Do you just sit awake at night and make these up?'
 
"Sure. For you, I've got "Eclipse her sun", "Paint the sun white", and "light up the sky", for Cadence I've got "Break some crystal hearts", "change that pink to red", and "add a little spice to the vanilla."
 
>...No.
 
"Awww."
 
'...Got anymore?'
 
"Whole routine based on that 'Sunshine Sunshine' thing Cadence and Twilight does."
 
>DON'T YOU DARE!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Gaffer
"8-bit"
~~~~
 
>Okay... sanity.
 
"We are being sane."
 
>We are not going to freak out.
 
"We are not going to yell at him."
 
>We are going to thank him for mailing us tickets to this place.
 
"We are going to try to use this time to reconnect with an old friend."
 
>And we are not...
 
"Are NOT...."
 
>"Going to get jealous."
 
>He has been there for us plenty of times.
 
"And has put up with a lot more of our shit than he should."
 
>He is not doing this to mock us.
 
"He is doing it because he wants us to be friends again."
 
>We.
 
"Are going to."
 
>"Thank him."
 
>...Wait. Is that-
 
"Yep. That's the Queen of the Changelings."
 
>Trying to drag him into the tunnel of love.
 
"While the Princess of all of Equestria is right ther on his heels."
 
>And that Queen is saying she wants said princess to join in.
 
"..."
 
>...
 
>"FUCK! THAT! GUY!"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Dash
"2"
~~~~
 
>...
 
"..."
 
>...
 
"..."
 
>...Sooooo... you're uh, you're a kid?
 
"Yuh huh!"
 
>Cool. Glad that's working out for you... when did Twi say they'll be back?
 
"I dunno, how long does that ride go for?"
 
>Too long... uh, shoot. So! You got adopted, right? That's got to be cool, being a princess and everything.
 
"It's really hard. Caddy says there's a whole buncha stuff I gotta know, but it's a lot ta' remember all of it."
 
>Bummer.
 
"Don't you have to know a whole lot to be the captain of the Wondercolts?"
 
>WonderBOLTS. And yes, I do... sadly.
 
"Why's that sad?"
 
>Because... you know what? Never meet your heroes, kid. They're never as cool as you thought. Then you've got to spend a whole bunch of time because they're lazy and you need to get them back on track.
 
"And then they stop being lazy? OH! Like the soldiers at home! They were real lazy, and then 42 got in there and she beat 'em up a bunch and now they're not! So are you going to start beating them up?"
 
>It's a little different than that.
 
"OH OH OH! I know! So it's like 18 with "Ohhh, the paperwork is gonna eat me! NOM!"
 
>Not quite like that.
 
"OH OH OH OH OH! I know! So it's like Shiny! Shiny was really lazy and not doing his paperwork, but then he said "I'm gonna not do that anymore!" and then he did it!"
 
>...Actually, yeah, it's exactly like that.
 
"Well, Shiny started cause Applejack made him. Maybe you need to ask Applejack?"
 
>...You know, kid, you're pretty smart.
 
"THANKS! I studied my test the whole way here!"
 
>I think you're right. I might need a little... backup... mwhahaha... mwahahah...haahhahahah...AHHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!
 
"...M'kay."
 
>AAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
 
Somewhere, Spitfire just had herself a little shudder, and fought the urge to dive off the side of Partyland.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Lucky Strikes
"Coco Pommel"
'Steam Gauge'
-Quicksilver Sash-
~Random Changeling~
 
---
 
>AHA! We have secured this enemy! A PRISONER OF PAINTBALL WAR! How'd ya do it, Gauge?
 
'Wasn't hard, the guy was eating chocolate underneath the kitchen tables when I went to go stock up our food reserves. He kinda just, accepted his fate.'
 
~You seem cool.~
 
'Thanks. But you're the 'enemy' and therefore you shall be tied up!'
 
-Kinky.-
 
'Zip it, eyeliner.-
 
-H-hey, shut up.-
 
"Wha- Oh yeah, notice it now... cute!"
 
-S-shut it!!-
 
~Eh, why can't a pretty girl wear makeup?~
 
'Pfffft- AHAHA! See Sash? Even the shapeshifter thinks you're a girl!'
 
-It's just an irregular estrogen level!-
 
>SOLDIERS! QUIT YOUR BICKERING! TIE UP THAT PRISONER AND MAN THE PAINTBALL GUARD TURRETS!
 
'Woah... that's cool.'
 
>Coco means business!
 
"Yeah! I uh, do."
 
~Those turrets are awesome.~
 
>AHA! SO YOU'RE A SPY!
 
"Trying to sabotage my turrets are you?!"
 
>NEW PLAN! I'll take and secure him, make sure he doesn't escape! Privates! Get on the turrets!
 
'-Yessir!-'
 
"I shall go attempt to put my helmet back on. Have fun shooting them."
 
'Tartarus yes, we will!'
 
-You know I'm gonna shoot more of them than you, right?-
 
'Oh? Is that a wager I hear?'
 
-Normally I'd say no, but you've been annoying, and you need to be humbled, think it could be...-
 
'Them's fightin' words, girl.'
 
-Fuck you.-
 
'Ask nicely.'
 
-*Sigh* It's a bet.-
 
'Awesome. The bet in question?'
 
-I'm probably gonna regret it, but maybe the other does whatever the other wants for a day? Never had a butler before.-
 
'That was oddly specific.'
 
 
-Seriously, I've never had a butler before. I want to have one before I die, is that so much to ask?-
 
'You're really prissy when it comes down to it.'
 
-Not often. Just when I really, really, reaaaally want something.-
 
'And that's not often?'
 
-Not as often as you think, anyway.-
 
'Heh. Alright, it's a bet. Say your 'Sirs and Of Course's because you're about to become my butler.'
 
-In your dreams! Pony up!-
 
They rush for the paintball spewing machines that are the turrets, getting into place on the seats and getting a feel for the contraptions.
 
'Man, this is awesome.'
 
-I guess Coco can build as well as knit.-
 
'Yeah, she's pretty coo-GAHH! Aw, not cool! Damn changelings!'
 
-Haha! Right on the chest! Changelings inbound! DEFEND YOUR STATIONS!!-
 
The Changelings in question hide behind pillars in the courtyard while the paint turrets fire madly in their direction.
 
~Ah crap! Told you we shouldn't of fired!~
 
~Shut up and keep firing!~
 
~WHATEVER YOU SAY!~
 
~You'll never take me aliiiiveee!! OW! OW! OW! I'm hit!!~
 
~CHANGELING DOWN!!~
 
Over the other side on the turrets, the two banter in their usual manner.
 
'They're shouting at us.'
 
-Probably wondering why you're missing them.-
 
'Psh, more are painted blue than red.'
 
-Oh shit, point! Concentration time!-
 
'Atta girl!'
 
-S-SHUT UP!-
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>32
"High Roller"
'Triage'
 
Deep within the dungeons of the war-er, skirmish torn Canterlot castle, love is in the air. Triage and High Roller stare lovingly at one another over a pair of wineglasses as behind prison bars an older dark grey unicorn in a suit serenades them.
 
>She's tellin' me, we'll be wed! She's picked out a king sized! I couldn't feel any better, or I'd be siiiick! Oh tell me quick! Oh aiiiin't thatta kick? Tell me quick! Ain't that kick! In the heaaaaad~! Thank you! Thank you! I'll be here all night, try the baby carrots!
 
"Dean. Fucking. Maretin. That brings me back, man. Granted it bring me back to when I was a foal at grandma's house, but back nonetheless."
 
>Ah, but what's some Las Haygus crooning without a heckler? Then again with this kind of quality, I'm wondering what it's like WITH one, too.
 
"Oho, the caged bird has claws, huh?"
 
>And a powerful thirst, you finally gonna give me some of this Liquid Gold you two keep mooning over?
 
"Oh fine, hon?"
 
Triage giggles and lifts the bottle...then blinks.
 
'Uh oh...'
 
>...
 
"Did weee..."
 
'We drank it all.'
 
"Crap."
 
>YOU SHYSTERS! YOU FLIM FLAMMERS! NO! TWO OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE FLIM FLAMMERS! YOU TWO ARE SCOUNDRELS OF THE HIGHEST DEGREE!
 
'Oh relax, honey, I came prepared.'
 
With a flourish, Triage produced a second bottle, swaying tipsily.
 
"...you got a second bottle?"
 
'Yup, I did, juuuust in case.'
 
"You don't think people might notice-"
 
'Baby, after all we did to get one? Two hardly seems like I'm bein' greedy.'
 
>I heartily agree, now, gimme.
 
"Alright, lemme get this thing open."
 
Roller takes the bottle and struggles with the cork, bending his body away from where 32 can see as he struggles, finally there's a pop and Roller holds it triumphantly overhead.
 
"Aha! Boom! Got it! Babe, get his glass."
 
>...
 
"...what?"
 
>Drink it first.
 
"Huh?"
 
>Pour some of that wine in your glass and drink it first.
 
"I don't..."
 
>You struggled with that bottle a long time, friend. Show me you're on the level and I'll drink of it.
 
"Seriously? After of this I'm just going to fucking poison you?"
 
>Drink out of the bottle.
 
"Oh fine, you paranoid asshole."
 
Roller takes a swift swig of the bottle, looking 32 in the eyes.
 
>...swallow.
 
*GULP*
 
"THERE! Happy?"
 
>...
 
"...what?"
 
>I was waiting to see if you'd keel over. Fine, give it here.
 
Roller pours the wine into 32's glass, grumbling as he hands it over.
 
"Involve you in all of this shit and you got to do this to me in front of my marefriend? You're a dick."
 
>Oh be quiet, after all I've been through it pays to be suspicious.
 
32 sips from the glass and sighs.
 
>Heh...heheheh....hehehahahahaHa!
 
"What the hell's wrong with you now?"
 
>What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you? This isn't anything like liquid gold! This is some kind of cheap...Manehattan Merlot...
 
32's eyes began to unfocus, he sways slowly.
 
>What...
 
Roller's expression fades away to a look of neutrality.
 
"It was in the glass, not the bottle."
 
>You...
 
"Sssh...just let it go."
 
32 begins to shake, eyes wide.
 
"This is the hard part, yes, but it doesn't last long."
 
32's eyes slowly close, even as his glass falls and shatters on the ground. He reaches through the bars to try and grab at the pegasus.
 
"Just let it go."
 
32, falls to his back, splayed out on the ground. Roller sighs and retrieves a key, unlocking the cell, moving aside as Triage enters with a set syringes.
 
"Nice work."
 
'Thank you.'
 
"Make sure you stick him somewhere you can get all we need but won't be easily seen."
 
'I know what I'm doing, I swear.'
 
Roller sits back in his chair, gazing at the unconscious changeling.
 
"A pity, the files we had on this guy made him out to be the cream of the crop, an A-Ranked infiltrator, I was hoping to find someone I could match wits with. Yet here I stand and what do I find?"
 
'What?'
 
"Just an old man talking to himself."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>AJ12
"Cheese Sandwich"
'AJ13'
 
----------------
 
"How's slinging sodas, my chitinous carnie?"
 
>I've lost count of how many sodas I've had thrown in my face this last hour.
 
"Well, at least that keeps ya nice and cool in this sunny-funny weather, right?"
 
>True, but the sugar coating is making it hard to move. I'm starting to understand what it's like to be one of those cricket lollipops.
 
"Aw, that's a sweet and sour and pretty -"
 
>Please, no ...
 
"- STICKY situation, eh? How would a buggy bonbon like you like a -"
 
>Don't say it ...
 
"- CHANGE of scenery?"
 
>Ugh. Fine, can I go on a break or something?
 
"Not just yet, but I'd like you to man - or, BUG - ride number 29A, over on the west terrace. It'll be a short shweet shift, shugar!"
 
>The things I do for a living ...
 
~~~
 
AJ12 struggles to find the controls under layers of dust and cobwebs. It's hard to see in the preternatural gloom hanging over the west terrace, but there is a single lever with a "start" position, and a dilapidated cart waiting in the shack that encloses the ride.
 
'Scuse me, is this ride open?'
 
>Oh, hey bugbuddy! Yeah, it's ready to go ... d'you really want to, though? It's pretty uh ... creepy lookin' ...
 
'Yeah, no spit! It's fine, that way I won't get sunburned.'
 
>Uh, we can't-
 
'Trust me, I can. Is the whole thing enclosed?'
 
>I ... think so?
 
'Good, so I won't fly too far ... and it's recently serviced?'
 
>Well, the park only just opened, so ...
 
The jittery changeling takes a few deep breaths, steeling itself.
 
'All right. Here goes ... love knows I deserve a bit of harmless fun!'
 
>Alright, take a seat ... watch your knees ... and here goes!
 
AJ12 pulls the lever. The changeling smiles with cautious optimism as the cart clanks away into the darkness. Seconds later, AJ12 is thankful he can't see a thing inside, as screams of terror start echoing out of the shack.
 
'TURN IT OFF! PLEEEASE! I WANNA GET AAAHAHAHAAAAFFF!'
 
>Uh, hang in there! Just let me find the lever …
 
He brushes the dust off the control panel. The lever is stuck at the bottom of the groove, by the word 'GO'.
 
At the other end of the groove, the word 'STOP' is scratched out.
 
Beneath it, the words "IT NEVER ENDS".
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Rarity
"Applejack"
~~~~~~~
 
>THIS WAS THE STUPIDEST IDEA I'VE EVER HAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaa~
 
"There she goes...."
 
>~...aaaaaAAAAAAADDDDD!
 
"Here she comes..."
 
>OH NO IT'S GOING AGAIN WHhhhhhh~
 
"There she goes again..."
 
>.....~hhhhhHHHHHYYYYY
 
"Aaaand-"
 
*CLANK!*
 
"Done. How ya' feelin'?"
 
>BLAAAARRRGGGHHHHH!
 
"Figured. Did ya' manage-"
 
>NO I DID NOT MANAGE TO SPOT HIM! Hrk!... When this ride said it took me around the whole of Partyland, I didn't think it would mean IN THREE SECONDS!
 
"Should'a read the fine print."
 
>THERE WAS NO FINE PRINT!
 
"That's no excuse."
 
>Ugggghhh... why didn't you come on with? I thought we said we would go together.
 
"That was a'fore ya' started clingin' ta' me on every ride that went over ten miles an hour."
 
>YOU ARE HUGGABLE!
 
"Chokeable is more like it."
 
>So, where do you want to go next?
 
"This is yer' search."
 
>Yes, but I've picked the last four rides. You need to do the next one.
 
"Fine. Yer' goin' on the loopdelooperzooper."
 
>WE, Applejack, you don't get to pick the ride and then sissy out.
 
"First off, you usin' the word sissy is hilarious, considerin'."
 
>I KICKED A MANTICORE IN THE FACE!
 
"Second, course Ah' was gonna go on wit'cha. Looks like fun."
 
>Splendid, darling!
 
"...no choking."
 
>I make no promises.
 
"..."
 
>What?
 
"Just noticin' how nice it is ta' be hangin' out again."
 
>We really do need to do it more often.
 
"Yeah..."
 
>...Well, come come, no time like the present!
 
"Right behind ya', sissy.... way behind ya', yer breath is terrible."
 
>IT IS NOT!
 
"..."
 
>...haaah haaah... I might need a mint, perhaps.
 
"Understatement."
 
>It's not that baaaaad!
 
At that moment, a bird fell out of the sky in convulsions.
 
"..."
 
>...that proves nothing.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>Lucky Strikes
"Coco Pommel"
'Steam Gauge'
-Quicksilver Sash-
~Random Changelings~
 
---
 
-Ha! I'm in the lead here on hits!-
 
'And now you're not!'
 
>They've been shooting changelings for awhile now, aren't they running out of paint?
 
"I've been stocking them up, it's fun to watch."
 
>We should probably be assisting in this war effort against the changeling menace
 
"Yeah, probably..."
 
Across the courtyard, howls of despair ring out as paint bombs explode all around, stained chitin is angrily scrubbed of paint, and changelings huddle in cover.
 
~Damn. They got us good last push.~
 
~What are we even fighting for?~
 
~Beats me, I just saw paintball guns.~
 
~My chitin hurts.~
 
~WE DO THIS FOR THE HIVE! FOR THE BALLROOM!!~
 
~And for food from the kitchens?~
 
~We get that anyway, but sure!~
 
~CHAAAAARGE!!~
 
And across the way, the two defenders laugh with manic glee at the new targets.
 
'EAT MY DAKKA-DAKKA!'
 
-Eat my paintballs also!-
 
'I AM WINNING!!'
 
-GAH DAMMIT YOU WILL NOT.-
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
>SA
"Chrysalis"
'Celestia'
[???]
{???}
~~~~~~
 
>Stop it.
 
"Okay, that one wasn't even sexual."
 
>You are still poking me.
 
'You are.'
 
"In a non-sexual fashion!"
 
>That is not...
 
"...Shiny? You okay?"
 
>....n-noooooo...
 
"Just checking."
 
>n-n-nooooooooooooo.....
 
'What on earth is he looking at?'
 
"Dunno. Chitania maybe?"
 
'What the hell would Chitania be doing in Partyland?'
 
"Getting some snacks? These snacks are awesome."
 
'That's stupid.'
 
[Shining Armor! Good to see you again!]
 
>H-hiiii, Mr Igneous Rock, and Mrs Cloudy Quartz. Nice to see you too.
 
{Indeed, it's been too long.}
 
>Celestia, Chrysalis, these are Pinkie's parents! They are so... so very nice to be around. And this, of course, is the Queen of the Changelings and Princess of Equestria!
 
'Nice to meet you two again.'
 
>...Again?
 
"What the hell? You're her dad? She's bright pink! How the hell did that happen?"
 
>Excuse her, she has no manners. At all.
 
"No need to excuse me. I'm aware you uppercutted Shiny into a mountain."
 
'WHAT!?'
 
>Long story.
 
[I did do that. Had to test him to see if he was good enough to date my daughter.]
 
"WHAT!?"
 
'Did he pass?'
 
{Surprisingly, yes. Even the other test.}
 
'Congratulations!'
 
>CELESTIA!
 
'What? He is a very hard stallion to impress. She's an even harder mare to impress.'
 
[It was a little shocking, considering.]
 
"Pft, it's like you don't even know the guy."
 
[Your second wife is really abrasive.]
 
>NOT! MARRIED! One wife!
 
{Apologies, your concubine is abrasive.}
 
"THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME!? I'm nobody's sex toy, missy! I fuck because I LOVE it, not because some asshole with a leash pulls me!"
 
'Or at least you would, if you ever got laid.'
 
"Fuck you, at least I have the option! I could have almost any stallion I wanted!"
 
{So why don't you?}
 
"Because of that fucking "almost", the only one I DO want won't fuck me! But fuck if I'm going to quit!"
 
[That's a pity, you seem high strung.]
 
"Right!?... Ugh, you two looking for Pinkie?"
 
{We are.}
 
 
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________